#k.a. applegate is a god

[novelconcepts]

Honestly, I feel like every writer has a childhood book series or three that explains them in absolute. Mine was Animorphs (found family, coping with trauma/grief, shape shifting), with a side helping of Diadem (fantastical worlds, underdog kids, lil’ rocks that grant superpowers) and Everworld (mythology, mythology, SO MUCH mythology).

[paladinbaby]

1987, paul guest / timefighter, lucy dacus / k.a applegate / lucille clifton / ganymede, jericho brown / the sorrow festival, erin slaughter / @transmonstera / the moths, mary oliver / regarding the röttgen pietà, elle emerson / @inkskinned

[Image Description: Ten images, mostly of text on white backgrounds.

1: “Some nights I wake and everything hurts a little. / It is amazing how long a ruined thing will burn.”

2: “You talk like you know the walls are thin / And I don’t mind if you don’t mind me listening / And I’m tired of all these wires / If I go far enough / Will they not follow us?

And I fight time / It won in a landslide / I’m just as good as anybody / I’m just as bad as anybody”

3: “People don’t understand the word ruthless. They think that it means ‘mean.’ It’s not about being mean. It’s about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It’s about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution.” The text is dark red.

4: “maybe i should have wanted less / maybe i should have ignored the bowl in me / burning to be filled / maybe i should have wanted less”

5: “I mean, don't you want God / To want you? Don't you dream / Of someone with wings taking you / Up?”

6: “& if I present my body as sacrifice I can finally walk away from it.”

7: "your god doesn't want to kill me he wants to fuck me" the words kill and fuck are censored with red praying hands. the text is on a background collage of various depictions of saint sebastian. the background is black and there are stars decorating the page. the overlay is red.

8: “And anyway / I was so full of energy. / I was always running around, looking / at this and that.

If I stopped / the pain / was unbearable.”

9: “No one is watching / So why does it have to be beautiful? / You, in pain, are no closer to god than / You, in the drive thru or / You, checking your email or / You, holding your own hand.”

10: “of course i’m angry. do you have any idea of how many times someone should have helped me?” End ID.]

[domesticadventures]

two books in a row now where one of the animorphs temporarily dies. first marco gets shot and sliced up while in gorilla morph and has to have his heart restarted by an ancient alien android and then right after literally all of them are EATEN by visser three in morph but in an alternate timeline which only jake winds up remembering because that timeline gets erased when he's killed there. k.a. applegate is like i simply MUST murder these preteens...but not permanently. not yet :) like my god imagine being thirteen and having to live with the memory of your own death but keep on fighting anyway. and also you have to go to school tomorrow

[siderealscribblings]

On one hand LUMINE PLS STOP DON'T HURT THEM but on another hand THANK YOU because SOMEONE needed to spell it out for these two lovesick idiots

Also Lumine remembers Furina being more ruthless. Makes me wonder what kind of circumstances her Furina went through 🤔

I mean dumping your mission of mercy on the head of a human who literally knows nothing and then abandoning her for 500 years so you can kill yourself in order to save your people/spite God is pretty ruthless

To quote Marco:

“People don’t understand the word ruthless. They think it means ‘mean.’ It’s not about being mean. It’s about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It’s about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution. Not caring about anything else but the perfection of it.” - Marco, Book #30: The Reunion, pg. 71 (by K.A. Applegate)

[rollercoasterwords]

I saw your post about angst earlier and I thought "atydsp was the *angstiest* most miserable book I've ever read" (it's a compliment btw) and then I remembered that YOU wrote it. So, you being an angst lover and the writer of the angstiest thing I've read, I wanted to ask you for recs(?), If that's ok(?)

Just, what are the angstiest books/fics you've ever read? Like, stare-at-the-wall-and-cry-silently-for-hours, feel-numb-for-days, make-you-want-to-scream-like-your-first-born-died, kind of angst. And, if you want, even throw in there films, music, poems too,idk.

It's all about the feeling. I just want to get my soul ripped apart and bleed-out on the floor again:'(

If it's too much or if it's weird, I'm sorry and feel free to ignore me pls<3

look at me. look into my eyes. you are my favorite person on this website right now. i LOVE this question omg ok buckle up i'm making a list

rae's angstiest-of-all-time recs*:

*with the caveat that this is a subjective list, these are just things that made me, specifically, feel like crying and screaming and staring at the wall for whatever reason. not all of these are stories that end in tragedy; some have happy endings! but if it made me feel like my guts were being twirled around like spaghetti on a fork at some point then it made the list <3

fics:

hackery, by orphan_account i will keep yelling at people to read this until the day i die it is SO good and literally under 2k words u can finish it in like five minutes. go read it rn PLEASE i'm begging

a great, big tragedy by zeppazariel @mayzarbewithyou for all crimson rivers angst enjoyers <3 the au what-if-regulus-died ending

let the ghosts sleep tonight by outlaw_baby dorlene oneshot set during the first war SO beautiful i reread this all the time

zwischen immer und nie (between always and never) by sudowoodo an albus dumbledore/gellert grindelwald fic about the summer they fell in love. was recommended to me by a friend who knows i love angst and thought i would appreciate it. they were correct.

notes on a resurrection by newleaves perhaps my favorite fic of all time and one that was also recommended to me by a friend! this one has a happy ending but BOY does it take you on a ride to get there

that's the art of getting by by sarewolf @sarewolf one of my favorite fics ever <3 another happy ending but plenty of angst before we get there <3

choices by messermoon @little-shit-soph i mean i feel like i don't even need to say anything about this one but. yeah if ur looking for tragedy and angst this is a good place to go lmao

books

the feverwake duology, by victoria lee i don't think i've talked about this series before on my blog but it is one of my FAVORITES of all time oh god. it's so so so fucking good dystopian sci-fi magic plague war just. SUCH a cool concept and SUCH beautiful writing i've read it three times and might need to reread soon lol

teeth, by hannah moskowitz gay mermaid love story but like. in the absolute most fucked-up way possible. i love this book SO much hannah moskowitz is just one of my favorite writers of all time

a history of glitter and blood, by hannah moskowitz my favorite book! another story where you get a happy ending but the angst u go through to get there...exquisite

human acts, by han kang made me cry like a fucking baby. this is historical fiction based on very real events and interviews with people who experienced the gwangju uprising + massacre in south korea in 1980.

the song of achilles, by madeline miller another one that i feel like i don't even need to say anything about lol

crush, by richard siken poetry!! here's ur poetry rec. the richard siken hype is not a lie this book will gut you

the animorphs series, by k.a. applegate i am being 100% serious this is one of my favorite series of all time and i read it for the first time as an adult like. this is not childhood nostalgia it was too scary for me as a kid. genuinely changed the way i think about writing and truly is one of the best war stories i have ever read. the last book is gut-wrenching in a way that very little else i have come across is.

the hunchback of notre-dame, by victor hugo for the classics enjoyers <3 victor hugo is one of my favorite writers i was really into his books in high school lol

the man who laughs, by victor hugo not as well-known as his other work but i wrote a big research paper on this book one time so it holds a special place in my heart just bc i spent so much time with it

tv shows

banana fish (2018) outing myself as an occasional anime enjoyer lmao. i watched this bc i kept seeing people talk about how tragic it was and then i saw my sister watching it and i looked up a plot summary of what happens at the end and i was like huh that sounds interesting. and then i sat down to watch it KNOWING what was going to happen and i still like. was screaming crying by the end.

the haunting of bly manor (2020) just re-watched this show like two months ago and it is 2/2 on making me cry so!!

movies

children who chase lost voices (2011) this movie has a happy ending but like. idk man there's this one specific scene that just GETS me every time. always feel hollowed out but like...in a good way after watching it.

brokeback mountain (2005) i mean...do i need to say anything about this one? gay cowboy tragedy my beloved <3

the last unicorn (1982) watching this movie as a kid is i think what altered my brain chemicals and made me an angst enjoyer. so! had to put it on the list <3

and of course on a final note--as these are heavy angst + tragedy etc etc if u know there are things u need to watch out for please look up trigger warnings before diving in! they all contain content that is upsetting in some way...hence the angst. hopefully that doesn't even need to be said but. well an honest hard-working angst farmer needs to cover his bases sometimes doesn't he

also! tysm for the angst praise lol SO happy to hear that atydsp is one of the angstiest things you've read truly the highest form of praise 2 me <3

[ravenya003]

Stuff I Read/Watched in July...

Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space (and the Subsequent Assault of the Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds) by Dav Pilkey

The Bad Guys: The Furball Strikes Back by Aaron Blabey

Dawn and the Big Sleepover by Anne M. Martin

Kristy and the Baby Parade by Anne M. Martin

Diadem: Book of Names by John Peel

Diadem: Book of Signs by John Peel

Diadem: Book of Magic by John Peel

The Two-Faced God by Caroline Lawrence

The Sewer Demon by Caroline Lawrence

The Thunder Omen by Caroline Lawrence

The Book of Shane by Nick Eliopulos

Tales of the Fallen Beasts by Brandon Mull and others

The Andalite Chronicles: Elfangor by K.A. Applegate

Tides of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee

Flames of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee

The Bandit of Sherwood Forest (1946)

Tales of Robin Hood (1951)

Ivanhoe (1952)

Son of Robin Hood (1958)

The Scarlet Pimpernel (1982)

Ivanhoe (1982)

Robin Hood: Prince of Sherwood (1993)

The Adventures of Robin Hood: Seasons 1 – 4 (1955 – 1959)

Ivanhoe (1997)

The Tudors: Season 3 (2009)

Slow Horses: Season 1 (2022)

More details on blog...

[themournwatcher]

I mean @demandthedoodles I’ll talk about it even more [twirling my hair]

For anyone curious, we’re referencing this post!

Mahanon’s intensity is probably the driving force of his own narrative! From the second his wedding is ruined, he doesn’t do anything in half-measures. The Grey Wardens, to Mahanon, are the chance to live the life he’s always wanted. The Blight is the one thing that stands in the way of what he wants, so he’ll do what he has to do to stop it—with only one caveat. He won’t give up his own life for it. Or else, what have all his efforts been for?

To quote K.A. Applegate, Mahanon becomes ruthless; all he can see is that bright clear line from beginning to end, and he doesn’t care about anything but the solution. He makes tough calls that the rest of the group REFUSE to make. He kills Connor, he kills the werewolves, he defiles the Ashes. Everything he does is him making a decision that he deems necessary.

What does this have to do with how he feels about Alistair (or any of the others)? Put simply, Mahanon feels, to an extent, that he’s owed their loyalty. They weren’t the ones to make the calls, they shunted the decisions onto him. If they didn’t like what he did, they should’ve done something about it themselves.

Despite his resentments, he does CARE about the people he travels with (in my canon the Blight takes about a year to a year and a half to settle in full). He wouldn’t have stuck with them so long if he didn’t care about them. He falls in love with Morrigan, and in each other they find mutual healing from their pasts. He grows close to Zevran and Shale and Wynne; Leliana is almost an annoying little sister, and Alistair is like the brother he never had.

Mahanon and Alistair were (to quote Lingua Ignota) “brothers in arms / brothers in each others’ arms”. Alistair was one of very few men that Mahanon could trust and even grew to love (platonically, but there was a little homoeroticism in there). But when the Landsmeet came, when all that time had passed, when Mahanon’s ruthlessness had alienated some (such as when he took the Reaver blood, such as his double crossing spirits at Soldier’s Peak and drinking more blood, such as his cutthroat way of handling their foes the closer they get to the end of their quest) Mahanon could ONLY focus on that bright, blinding solution.

He couldn’t see anything else. Sparing Loghain and recruiting him into the Wardens would force a powerful general onto their side! This is a brilliant political move! And Alistair can have his vengeance, Loghain will be their sacrifice to the Archdemon! Everything works out!

Mahanon can only see the solution.

Alistair can only see Mahanon’s betrayal; after everything, after being willing to even kill Morrigan’s mother for her, Mahanon would refuse to do this one simple thing? How could he?!

Mahanon can now only see Alistair’s betrayal of the cause. He’d leave because he can’t get his pound of flesh?! He’s a traitor, too! I could have him executed!

Mahanon still loves him. He rejects Morrigan’s offer (he has to) and refuses to let her bring it up to Alistair or Loghain. Morrigan leaves, and Mahanon is left with only the solution. He finds another. It won’t be him and Alistair at the End of All Things, but it WILL be him. Loghain, in some ways, knows this. The ruthlessness of a brave young man not yet ready to die.

Alistair’s arrival at the last second—his sacrifice, the attempt at reclaiming the responsibilities he abdicated, undermining what Mahanon had to do once he was gone and what he had to prepare himself to do—it’s a final betrayal. It’s selfish. It’s sacrifice. Mahanon rages for weeks. He can’t even yell at his god because Alistair has been wholly consumed; there is nowhere within the Fade that his rage can reach that Alistair would be able to know it.

Mahanon’s final betrayal, his final selfishness, is by abandoning the Wardens immediately once Vigil’s Keep has been arranged for him. He goes to find Morrigan, and leaves Loghain to clean up the mess. Loghain is sent to Orlais; Elyon is brought from Orlais. They cross paths with each other at the border—both older men, both whose families have been lost to ruin, both who have been exiled from their homelands, and both who know their hearts best to the death-march.

May the Dread Wolf take me.

May Andraste light your path.

[quicktimeeventfull]

HI humbly asking: 43 and 56!!

morgan hello thank you!!

43: favourite book(s)

this is an excellent question. i will limit myself to 68. in no particular order, they are:

1. no-no boy by john okada: about a nisei boy shortly after the end of the japanese-american internment. i read this like two weeks ago and it has changed my life entirely. 10/10.

2. so pretty/very rotten by an nguyen and jane mai: fantastic book about lolita fashion, and also one of the most structurally interesting books i’ve read in my life — it mixes together academic writing, comics, interviews and creative essays to present academic research without losing the emotional aspects of the subject matter. it's very out of print but imo worth an interlibrary loan

3. please look after mom by kyung-soon shin: a family loses their mother at seoul subway station. this book changed me fundamentally

4. addiction by design by natasha dow shüll: just overall a really good book about machine gambling in las vegas and the industry's intentional creation of addiction 5-68. the animorphs books by k.a. applegate: god i love these books so much. some of them are good, some of them are mid, some of them are bad, but overall the series was foundational to me. brilliant deconstruction of the whole children-who-must-save-the-world genre. 56: five things that make you happy 1. death note: perhaps cheating, but true 2. good coffee 3. good books 4. music 5. lakes

[tinx-methinks]

Update to this post: tinx-reads-2023

Books I've read since last time:

K.A. Applegate: The Change, The Unknown, The Escape, The Warning, The Underground, The Decision, Megamorphs 2: In the Time of the Dinosaurs, The Andalite Chronicles, The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, The Departure, The Discovery, The Threat, The Solution, The Pretender, The Suspicion, and The Extreme. GOD she does Aliens SO WELL. I care about her Aliens SO MUCH argh. I didn't think I would like the Andalite or Hork-Bajir Chronicles at all but now they're all I can think about ahhhh!!!

Hide by Kiersten White wasn't super good... it felt kinda like the author was trying to rub her own back and the novel wasn't as exciting as I'd hoped.

The Legend of Beacon Swamp by Jacob Peyton had it's moments where it could have been interesting but it was so poorly written that any joy you could still derive from it vanished into the murk.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells was the STAND OUT FAVE from this group of books. All my homies love Murderbot.

Even Though I Knew the End by C.L. Polk wasn't bad and would've been more enjoyable if I'd just read it for what it was but I was thinking about some of the weirdness in the world building the whole time. I think the angels in this universe are evil and also the main character is kinda really bad.

Consequences by Aleatha Romig was pitched to me as erotica. Which it wasn't. Tried to make me think it was romance. Which is wasn't. And then the ending would've been good and interesting if the entire book hadn't been wayyyy too fuckin' long.

A Curious Beginning by Deanna Raybourn was a bookclub book that became a real slog. The main character was smug and mean and I really hated the twist in this book. I thought the author was English but it turned out she was from Texas which really shook me though.

Deadly Kiss by Ariel Marie was the first one in a romance series about lesbian vampire princesses. It was alright, but felt a little confused at times. I think I might take a look at the second one in the series though... it was charming and had some decent erotica.

As for Short Stories...

Kakekomi Uttae by Dazai Osamu was super interesting because I read No Longer Human last year and felt like this piece had SO much of the author's personal voice in the place of Judas.

Graveyard Rats by Henry Kutner which I read cause I'm hunting down the short stories from Del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities with a friend. Neither of us thought this was very good, however. We both preferred the netflix adaption.

The Autopsy by Michael Shea was fantastic. I enjoyed this one a bunch. I ended up going through the episode again because of it and I love the changes that were made from the text but for me the text had sooo much more to offer with little details in mannerisms. Plus some of the thoughts about death as a personification just really worked for me. I liked this one a lot.

[acepianonoises]

(Spoiler Alert for Animorphs #54 "The Beginning")

As a writer, it upsets me to no end that the perfect death scene was written in 2001 by K.A Applegate for Rachel's death. Like, just the raw emotion of Rachel asking if her life and death actually matttered, the Ellimist taking a moment to pause before answering, just god damn.

[gonewiddershins]

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#5

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 3 of 7)

18. your least favorite book ever

One of the effects of being a shameless DNF-er is how I don't really have least favorite books. Because they can't be my least fave if I drop them halfway through and go and happily read something else instead. Least favorite book (singular) ever is even worse- why on earth would I read a book I loathe that much? The only answer is "Buddy Reads" and even for that I have drawn lines I will Not Cross. And even if those lines were crossed, I feel uncomfortable rating that book as "the worst" because making me read something I don't like makes me very, very mad and that naturally spills over to my feelings about the actual book.

So I skimmed through Goodreads and randomly picked a book that made me mad enough that I remembered being mad to this day. This actually means the book had potential, because I tend to forget books which had no redeeming features whatsoever. But this is also the third draft of this answer so it's what you're getting. (There is actually book I dislike more than this one, but that's getting saved for the un-recommend question.)

Tangled by Emma Chase is an office romcom. And it would probably be pretty entertaining (my tastes they are so low) if (a) the author did not decide that swearing was an inherently funny action and used it to indicate idk- something positive about the male lead, (b) it weren't for the unquestioned gender essentialism - you know the thing, men are like this women are like that and god forbid anyone deviates even slightly from the norm, and (c) I didn't keep getting smacked in the face with constant workplace sexual harassment.

The harassment was bad enough to have my oblivious self feel mildly uncomfortable when I first read it. When I skimmed through it again to remember why I hated it so much it almost made me want to puke. If any guy thought about me the way the ML thought about the FL I would knee him in the balls. Also, I HATE it when romances end with a "grand gesture" that magically solves everything. Especially in this case. FL, you were so fucking bland that I don't remember a goddamned thing about you but you should have kneed him in the balls. For fuck's sake.

QUOTE: (slime. slime all over my face and my arms.)

Doe Eyes may be telling me no…but her body? Her body’s screaming, Yes, yes, fuck me on the bar. In the span of three minutes, she’s told me why she’s here, what she does for a living, and allowed me to fondle her hand. Those are not the actions of a woman who is not interested—those are the actions of a woman who does not want to be interested. And I can definitely work with that.

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

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3 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#4

1, 9 10 13 15 16 18 23 52 53 55 60 63 71 80 86 107 121 127 134 135 for ur ask meme

wheeeee~

okay so there's are enough of these questions that I'm gonna answer this in parts because otherwise (a) I'll never finish and (b) tumblr WILL end up earing my drafts and I wince just thinking about that. So here we go-

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Beginning by K.A. Applegate. Anyone who's spent some time on my tumblr knows about my obsession with this series. It drilled into my ear and took over all higher life form function way back when I was an impressionable pre-teen. And then after sometime, when I thought I'd found other things to obsess about, I found copies of the final arc and it decided to permanently take up residence in my brain.

The Beginning is the final installment of the Animorphs series, which famously feature kids turning into animals to fight brain stealing alien puppeteers. It's not a climax- it's a extended denouement, because the books have always been about how children people are affected by war as much as as it was about the actual war. Animorphs also ended on a very bittersweet note, something unthinkable to baby me who had never seen a story end this way before. It was a learning experience.

Quote:

"Jake, you can't . . ." She took a deep breath. "You can't equate the victim and the perpetrator."

"So as long as you're playing defense it's not possible to commit a war crime?" I asked. "That's pretty close to just saying that the winner makes the rules because it's the winner who writes the history."

She grabbed my arm and searched for my eyes, forcing me to look at her. "No, Jake, it isn't. There are a lot of close calls in history, lots of wars where the blame is evenly split between the sides. This isn't one of them. Before they came to Earth no human ever attacked a Yeerk. No human ever harmed a Yeerk. This one is clear: We are the victims. They made war on us."

"That's good," I said softly. "All of that is good. We have justification. We're the good guys."

Marco said, "That's right, Big Jake, we are."

I nodded. "That's good for the big picture. See, my problem is a little more personal."

Ax asked.

"Well, Ax-man, you're right, you did call my attention to the possibilities on the Pool ship. And when you did that I guess I should have thought, Well, Jake, it's a harsh, terrible thing to do, but you're justified because, after all, you're the victim here. But that's not what I thought. You know what I thought?"

Cassie released her grip on me. But Marco just took a step up close, right in my face.

"I know what you thought, Jake. You thought Die, you filthy worms. Feel the fear, Yeerks. Feel the pain. Feel the helplessness. You wanted them to suffer and the idea of them suffering and dying made you happy. You were thrilled. You were high."

Cassie winced. She looked away.

I said, "Yeah, Marco. That was about it: word for word."

9. your favourite book of 2020 2022

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3 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#3

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 2 of 7)

13. your favorite romance novel

You should know by now that I don't actually have favorites. I have a list of things I like and how much I like them varies with time, emotions, circumstances, and also maybe the phases of the moon. But The Duke in Disguise by Cat Sabastian was the first book I thought of when I saw this question, so it's the answer by default.

A Duke in Disguise is a standalone (technically it's part of a series, but books in romance novels series are often functionally standalones with cameos) romance story about two childhood friends- a prickly left-leaning publisher trying to keep her business afloat and an illustrator (engraver, to be precise) who turns out to be the long-lost heir to a dukedom. It's filled with class rage and ideas about what independence means and wonderful friend and family characters. The heroine is bi and filled with rage goes to her ex-girlfriend when she wants to yell about stuff. It's great.

QUOTE:

How one was meant to feed all these people on a couple of mutton chops Verity did not know. Supper was supposed to serve four: herself, Nate, Ash, and Charlie. But Nate had come home with three friends he met at the pub, which would have been bad enough even if he hadn’t evidently also invited Amelia Allenby, the half-grown daughter of Verity’s friend. At half past seven, a carriage pulled up in front of the house and disgorged a girl in pearl earbobs and a white muslin frock, dressed as if she were going to dine with the great and good of the land, rather than pick at too few mutton chops and be an eyewitness to sedition. Amelia was seventeen and looked upon Nate with a degree of hero worship that nobody who brought three hungry radicals home to dinner deserved.

15. a book rec you really enjoyed

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4 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#2

1, 19, 27

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold. I mean, I love almost everything this author writes but I'd only read her space opera series before this, and space opera was (at least back then) not as much my genre as Fantasy is.

It was also a very different type of fantasy from what I'd experienced. I'd mostly read grand sweeping fantasy epics before CoC, with a dash of Tamora Pierce to even things out. But I think this was the first time I'd seen adult fantasy which was less about world domination and more about people just trying to get by in the face of curses and life in general etc. Caz is a wonderful protagonist because he's so tired and so traumatized and he juxtaposes beautifully with Iselle (who is the /thematic/ protagonist) who's vibrant and a beacon of hope. The divinity-based magic system is wonderful. The way of breaking the curse is wonderfully clever. This book made me actually weep more than once. I just- //flails

It also made me be more active about searching for adult fantasy I was actually interested in, because till that point I really thought all we could have were chosen one quest narratives.

Quote:

“Any man can be kind when he is comfortable. I'd always thought kindness a trivial virtue, therefore. But when we were hungry, thirsty, sick, frightened, with our deaths shouting at us, in the heart of horror, you were still as unfailingly courteous as a gentleman at ease before his own hearth.”

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

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5 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It just struck me how the MCU is milking the hell out of a nearly manufactured out of whole cloth mentor-mentee/dad-son relationship between a billionaire superhero and a socially disadvantaged kid superhero while the dc cinematic universe, which has multiple canon relationships like that, ignored them COMPLETELY in favor of more serial killer showcases.

7 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

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[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

What would u say are the best and worst book narrated by each character ?

I sat down to come up with my least favorite book by each narrator and had a pretty easy time of it — there’s an unfortunate dip in quality in the series around #39 - #43 that I can point to as definitely not my faves — and then ended up totally baffled by how to choose JUST ONE favorite book by each narrator, because such a task is almost impossible.  In conclusion, I really love Animorphs, as you probably never would have guessed from reading this blog.  So, with a little cheating, here goes:

Tobias

Least favorite: #43, The Test

The plot of this book pretty much requires that all of the characters, but most notably Rachel and Jake, act in ways that really don’t fit with their behavior for the rest of the series.  My cynical hypothesis about What Was The Ghost Even Thinking rhymes with schmender schtereotyping, but even if I more kindly assume that everyone was just acting strange to jerk Taylor around, I can’t really enjoy this book.

Favorite: #49, The Diversion

Tobias’s point of view works so well for this book, because its plot draws attention to his status as a partial outsider not only for human society as a whole but also for his team.  He’s literally trapped in a liminal space that here actually gives him a lot of perspective on his friends’ families — and the importance of sticking close to his own.  (And by that I mean 93% Ax, 7% Loren.)

Other favorite: #23, The Pretender

Speaking of Tobias being sort of stuck between roles, this book is so good because it shows the strength of his position as both able to access and able to escape being human.  He moves flexibly between a ton of different roles in this book — a leader to the hork-bajir, a supporter to Jake, a parent to himself, a son to Elfangor, a quasi-hawk, a quasi-human, a quasi-andalite — and does so with astounding grace and aplomb.  Resting bitchface has never seemed like a cooler accidental superpower.

Another favorite: #33, The Illusion

This book is the brutal shadow-self to #23, instead shutting Tobias out of a whole bunch of different roles over the course of the plot.  It does however contain one of the series’s best villains (Taylor is terrifyingly sympathetic) and some of its best moments of heartwarming body horror in the final battle.

Ax

Least favorite: #8, The Alien

Honestly, there’s nothing really wrong with this book, but there’s nothing amazingly right about it either.  It has a few great moments (Jake’s naïve optimism at the kandron’s destruction giving way to fear for Tom, Ax having dinner with Cassie’s family, Tobias definitely not tattling on Ax) but overall the plot is just kind of inane and doesn’t do much to move the series forward.

Favorite: #38, The Arrival

Estrid et al. act as such a cool check-in for not only how much Ax has grown as a person through spending too much time around humans, but also how much the team as a whole has grown until they are actually more effective warriors than a group of battle-trained andalite assassins.  Every time I reread this book I end up making noises of triumph and fist-pumping the air, no matter how public my location is at the time.

Favorite favorite: #46, The Deception

This plot hinges on the stark contrast between Ax’s terrible and unavoidable awareness about the horror of open war and the Animorphs’ lack of standard of comparison beyond “hey, remember D-Day?”  MM3 and #28 both do important work to condemn humanity from the outside, but this book actually uses Ax’s perspective primarily for celebrating the whole human species from an outsider’s point of view.

Marco

Least favorite: #40, The Other

As I’ve mentioned here, at this book’s core is an interesting concept that very emphatically does not age well.  On top of the cringe-inducing attempt at an After School Special treatment of the idea that (*gasp*) queer men with AIDS are human too, it also has a largely nonsensical plot that strains both credulity and logic.

Favorite: #25, The Extreme

It’s a brilliant use of Marco’s perspective to comment on the constraints and terrifying outer reaches of Jake’s leadership, one that also contains a highly enjoyable mix of humor and horror.  Because Marco.  I could reread this one a thousand times and still find new aspects of the narration to delight in.

Also favorite: #15, The Escape

This book makes amazing use of Marco’s unreliable narration and lack of self-insight to contrast his willingness to imagine himself confronting sharks with his willingness to run from them upon a real encounter, along with his determination to kill his mom and his inability to stop himself from saving her.  Marco is at his most human in this book, and also his most lovable.

Also also favorite: #51, The Absolute

The governor of probably-California is one of my favorite minor characters in the series, and I absolutely love the dynamic between Marco-Tobias-Ax any time it occurs (this book, #46, #30, #49), meaning that this surprisingly fun aside acts as a much-needed breath of fresh air and comic relief in between the Animorphs losing the morphing cube (#50) and blowing up the Yeerk Pool (#52).  Plus, Marco + tank  = OTP.

Cassie

Least favorite: #39, The Hidden

I’ve said most of this before, but this book is just… nonsensical.  And it’s not delightfully nonsensical like parts of #26 or #14, it’s mostly cringe-inducingly nonsensical.

Favorite: #29, The Sickness

Arguably this is the best Animorphs book, both IMHO and by fan consensus.  It’s got a simple but devlishly difficult plot, a ton of great characterization moments for all six kids, a handful of brilliant devices and settings that meld beautifully to Cassie’s overall character arc, and a wide-reaching perspective on the importance of overcoming difference that is a huge part of what makes these books so good.  It’s also funny, horrifying, edge-of-your-seat engaging, and tear-inducingly beautiful at the very end.

Also my favorite: #4, The Message

Whereas #29 is probably just hands-down the best book ever written, #4 holds a special place in my heart because it’s the first Animorphs book I ever read and the one that convinced me to go find the rest of the series.  This one is sweet and mystical, bleak with the dawning realization that these poor defenseless cinnamon rolls are in this war alone but also hopeful with the realization that these precious cinnamon rolls are in this war together.

Jake

Least favorite: #47, The Resistance

Although I’m of the opinion that #41 is more poorly-plotted, this book manages to be both poorly plotted and glaringly racist.  Its plot doesn’t make sense on several different levels, not the least that Visser Three knows how to find the hork-bajir valley in this book and then apparently forgets how to get there for the entire rest of the series.  And don’t get me started on Jake’s reprehensible behavior from the moment he casually declares Tom “as good as dead,” through to him trying to boss Toby about what’s best for Toby herself, all the way on to him being a jerk to Rachel and Marco. Blah.

Favorite: #31, The Conspiracy

Unlike #47, this book actually makes really good use of Jake’s character flaws to drive the plot forward — he’s bad at being vulnerable, and that ends up being a huge problem for his team.  It also leans hard on the irony of Jake being the only one with a “textbook” family (i.e. upper-middle class, heteronormative and monogamous, European-American, traditionally gendered, outwardly happy) and also being the only one under constant threat for his life any time he’s at home, thereby accomplishing one of the series’s better comments on the fact that children’s lives aren’t as simple as we’d like to think.

Favoriter: #53, The Answer

There are definitely flaws with RL implications in this book, but the plot is so freaking brilliant that I can still regard it as a Problematic Fave.  The final battle is so well-engineered and the Moral Event Horizon is so terrifying as it swings by that I assign this book to myself for rereading any time I’m struggling to write action or battle.  It’s a scary, awful book, but also a very fitting capstone to the series.

Favoritest: #26, The Attack

This setting is so cool.  This plot is so cosmic and yet so personal.  This use of the chee is so bitingly brilliant in its commentary on pacifism as a luxury not everyone can afford.  This story has so many moments that are either heartbreaking callbacks (the opening scene with Tom’s memories from #6) or bloodcurdling foreshadowing (Jake and Rachel’s casually absolute trust that each will be willing and able to kill the other if necessary).  This narration feels like a middle-aged and yet middle-school protagonist struggling to figure out who he wants to be — and defeating a cosmic power at its own game with the power of love.  I could gush forever.

Rachel

Least favorite: #48, The Return

Again, there’s nothing truly wrong with this book; it’s just a silly and inconsequential aside into the main character’s maybe-dreams at a time when the plot outside her head is heating up to the boiling point.  It makes this whole thing come off kind of like Bilbo sleeping through the Battle of Five Armies.

Favorite: #27, The Exposed

I’m not normally a big one for romance, but this book makes me ship Rachel and Tobias so hard that my tiny bitter walnut of a heart grows two sizes every time I read it.  Rachel has such great self-awareness that she doesn’t like any situation she cannot control or at least do violent battle against, and yet she dives into the bottom of the ocean with both eyes open and her chin up because that’s what she has to do to protect the rest of her team.  Crayak has no idea what he’s talking about when it comes to asking her to turn on her loved ones.

Additional favorite: #32, The Separation

As I’ve said, I didn’t really get this book until I realized that it’s not so much about Rachel herself as it is about how the rest of her team views her, and how she defies their simple categorizations, both well-meaning (Cassie) and not (Jake), through simply being herself.  Rachel is both masculine and feminine, both tough and vulnerable, and she makes no apologies for any of it.

And another favorite: #37, The Weakness

This book has an important role for the rest of the series in that it shows how the Animorphs’ guerilla tactics can easily be taken too far, and also how Jake’s discernment of his teammates’ strengths and weaknesses keeps them all alive.  Rachel makes a fair number of logical-seeming decisions in this book that prove short-sighted, and of course it all leads to her and Jake’s brutal Checkovian epiphany at the end.

Added additional also favorite: #22, The Solution

A brutal but powerful read, this book focuses on the ugliest parts of Rachel’s personality (her sadism toward David) but also the most powerful ones (her compassion for Saddler and protectiveness toward both Jake and Jordan).  It also shows that her reckless taste for violence and her boundless desire to protect her families both biological and found are actually two sides of the same part of her personality.

Okay I have a lot of favorite Rachel books: #17, The Underground

It’s oat-freaking-meal.  Only it’s not just oat-freaking-meal, and I’m not talking about the extra-tasty maple and ginger flavoring.  It’s a biological weapon.  It’s a way to harm the enemy, but only through harming prisoners of war.  It’s a social dilemma the like of which we rarely see in children’s books.  It’s a lesson in decision making under uncertainty.  It’s a moral imperative, but no one is quite sure what that imperative is saying.  It’s a deconstruction of the implied assumption that it’s possible to write adventure stories in which no one gets hurt.  It’s awesome.  It’s hilarious.  It’s disturbing as fuck.  Welcome to Animorphs.

[rollercoasterwords]

for the ask game: 12, 17, & 18? :)

answered 12 + 18 but 17!!!

17. your favourite book(s)?

ok i think if i had to pick only one book to read for the rest of my life it would be a history of glitter and blood by hannah moskowitz it's just so!!!! i think i read it for the first time when i was 16 and i had literally never encountered a story like it before and honestly i don't think i have since the worldbuilding is insane to me like i'm obsessed with it and the writing is so beautiful and i just....god i reread it like once a year because it's just so so special to me.

but a few other faves:

- the last unicorn by peter s beagle

- this is how you lose the time war by max gladstone and amal el-mohtar

- gormenghast by mervyn peake

- you too can have a body like mine by alexandra kleeman

- the beginning by k.a. applegate (i am so serious)

this ask game

[ch4rmsing]

Fantasy Novels that Imprinted on me

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine I think I asked my mom to buy this for me at a scholastic fair in 6th grade. I remember circling it in the monthly scholastic magazine my school handed out. It’s the reason why I’m a slut for fairy tale retellings. It’s also the reason I have a lifetime grudge for the movie adaption, why I hardly read books anymore on the off chance they will be adapted to prevent untold heartache like I did when the Ella Enchanted Adaption came out. Avatar fans, I know your pain. The original book from 1998 was read many times over and has since fallen apart, but my friend who knows how dear this book is/was to me got me a sturdy hard back version with the original cover art. Dragon's Bait by Vivian Vande Velde I found this in my junior high library and I was intrigued. Girl accused of Witchcraft? Sent to be eaten by Dragon? Dragon helps her get revenge? Hell yes sign my 7th grade ass up for that adventure. I ended up checking this out so much from school, I decided to just buy it from a bokstore in early high school. It’s a quick read, a delicious story of revenge, questioning morals, and highly influenced my writing style as the years went on. Dragon Riders of Pern Series by Anne McCaffrey Okay, so looking back it’s not that hard to see *why* I fell so hard and so fast into the ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ fandom. I definitely have a type when it comes to reading fantasy and dragons are my jam. I also found the first of this series in that same junior high library and eagerly devoured the the three books in the main series and then moved onto different books set in the same world. It was a bit more mature and serious but a beautiful and interesting fleshed out world! There was also revenge involved. Okay I have two types. Dragons and Revenge.

The Everworld Series by K.A. Applegate I found book #1 in the local library YA section in 8tth grade (I used to spend hours there before the Ella Enchanted movie adaption) and read it and was immediately smitten. For the time, the pop culture references were fresh, funny, and the mystery and danger kept getting more intense. The premise was amazing for a little nerd like me who loved memorizing Greek mythology and seeing 4 modern-day teenagers transported to a world where these old gods lived was like my mind on fanfiction before I knew what fanfiction was. It was a a high octane, always six inches from death while tackling relatable and serious issues for teens in the early 2000′s/late 90′s kind of story and it remains my favorite series to this day. I scored them all for myself when an acquaintance in high school heard me raving about it and gave me his series cause he didn’t want it anymore. I leant book #1 to a friend in college and never saw it again :( Old Magic by Marianne Curley I found this book in early high school, and I don’t remember exactly where but maybe my local library YA section. it was 1999. It delved into time travel, paganism, and a reluctant hero and competent heroine trope that ended in romance. I am a sucker for a good romance. I ended up buying this one as well. The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer I saw the cover of this in Barnes and Nobel in the mid-2010′s, and remember, as a slut for fairy tale retellings, I was like ‘TAKE MY MONEY’ and I promptly took it home and DEVOURED IT. I had to go back to B&N about two more times that week so I could get the rest. I still to this day have not finished a series that fast. It was a great series, really interwove the fairytales, left me feeling satisfied and loving the characters. The Cinder Spires: The Aeronaut’s Windlass by Jim Butcher So I have never read this book with my own two eyes but have listened to it about 3 or 4 times on audiobook because damn, whoever did that reading has a great voice and I knew it was a winner when they were describing a battle scene and I was riveted. I usually kind of check out and skim battle scenes. This is one I constantly recommend to my friends because it’s another one where there’s a cool, fleshed out world of steam airships and houses that rule at the top of society ala Game of Thrones, and talking cats. This is way more of an adventure story but it’s rich with imagery.  My husband introduced me to this because it’s by his favorite author. It’s supposed to be a series and I am eagerly awaiting the second book.

[gaylieninvader]

No one:

K.A. Applegate: “God is a gamer and he used to be a bird.”

[lostinthestacks]

June 2021 Reads

Books/Texts Completed:

1. Death’s End by Cixin Liu, translated by Ken Liu (fiction)

2. Dead Dead Girls by Nekesa Afia (fiction)

3. Queer: A Graphic History by Meg-John Barker and Julia Scheele (nonfiction)

4. Lightfall: The Girl & the Galdurian by Tim Probert (fiction)

5. Animorphs: The Invasion graphic novel adapted by Chris Grine from the novel by K.A. Applegate and Michael Grant (fiction)

6. The Cardboard Kingdom: Roar of the Beast by Chad Sell (fiction)

7. Oh My Gods! by Stephanie Cooke & Insha Fitzpatrick, art by Juliana Moon (fiction)

8. Shirley & Jamila Save Their Summer by Gillian Goerz (fiction)

9. Measuring Up by Lily LaMotte, art by Ann Xu (fiction)

Books/Texts in Progress:

1. White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo (nonfiction)

2. Dracula by Bram Stoker (fiction reread)

3. Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (fiction)

Pages Read:

1. For the Month: 2,472

2. For the Year: 9,957