#draft from a while ago edited bc

[sickgraymeat]

Seeking medical care in 2023 is so wild bc ok so you’re in a building where abt every 10 ft of wall (at least) has a poster on it telling you directly that your symptoms warrant you being in that building, plus another poster saying how and why to protect yourself against contagions. And then ten different people blow their uncovered noses and dab on some hand sanitizer, complain about how they can’t hear you before you even begin to speak, and then laugh and roll their eyes when you tell them, citing nearly every bullet point on the posters directly behind them, why you think you should be there.

[ellieswifie]

cuddling w chris while watching a movie in his bed and falling asleep on his chest and he finds it so cute and falls asleep after

cuddling with chris then falling asleep

𐙚 shortish fic!

warnings: boyfriend!chris, slight angst,

authors note: this has been in the drafts for a while sorry about that, but i was just watching ‘a walk to remember’ and thought hey how about i finally get up and start posting some fics.

˗ˋ.*✧·˚ ೃ࿔₊•

CHRIS ISN’T THE SUPER AFFECTIONATE TYPE. sure he’ll want to go out on cute dates here and there, or do cheesy couple things, but if you ask him to couple up on the coach or in his room and watch cheesy romo coms his first response will be no.

you weren’t always annoyed by this though. you knew how scary it is for him to be a relationship considering how intense youtube has been for him, but it always deep down seems to bother you.

it was a late thursday night and chris had just finished filming with his brothers when he noticed you sitting on the couch strolling through instagram with a cheesy movie on, he couldn’t help but smile a little bit. nick had editing to do so he immediately darted to his room, while matt sat on the opposite end of the couch, staring at his phone.

you looked up at chris, smiling before bringing your eyes back to the tv. "how was filming?" you asked, leaning for the blanket to your right, and covering your lower half.

chris groaned, laying his head on top of your from behind the sofa. "you know how hectic filming is." you really do. as his girlfriend you’ve only been in a few videos bc of how creepy and weird the fandom is, but it does get a little intense.

“yeah…" you muttered, shutting of your phone and making room on the couch for chris. "we could watch a movie? something less cheesy."

chris straightened, looking at you then his brother. "umm maybe we could watch it in my room? and it’s your turn to pick a movie."

your eye brows scrunched as you looked at matt. matt looked up from his phone, confused as he looked at you and chris. then it clicked in his head and he immediately stood up from the couch. "oh no! by all means i’m going to my room. sitting in a room with just the two of you is like sitting in a room with-"

"okay thank you matt!" chris said stopping him from finishing his sentence. you giggled as you also stood up from the couch. "but is okay we can just watch in my room. besides i’m already exhausted."

matthew nodded, but still dashed to his bedroom down the hall. in his head he was taking no chances.

you wrapped your blanket around your shoulders, and slipped into your slippers beside you on the couch. it was nearly twelve o’clock so you were already dressed and ready for bed. you had no plans staying the night due to your crazy early classes in the morning, but you just couldn’t help yourself.

chris moved beside wrapping a lazy arm around your shoulders as you guys made your way upstairs.

you sat on his bed, while he made his way towards his dresser, looking for some pjs to toss on. he ended up finding some plaid pajamas and a plain white t-shirt to toss on. he grabbed his laptop from the corner of the room, before settling on the bed beside you.

"so we can watch anything but the notebook. deal?" chris said opening the laptop. you groaned, pushing yourself into his long arms.

"come on you forced me to watch some karate movie a few nights ago."

chris gasped as he remembered last movie night. "karate kid is the movie of the century. you can not dis on that movie ever babe."

your eyes rolled, as your moved your hands to the keyboard. “yeah yeah, whatever." you opened netflix, scrolling through the now trending movies, to then opening the romance movies.you see the past movies your boyfriend had been a baby through, and you simply just giggle to yourself. but when your eyes land on a walk to remember you gasp while chris groans,

"again?" he whines, looking at the title.

“what do you mean again? we’ve never watched this together." you correct, looking at him. he kisses your forehead gently, looking down at you. "but you have and that doesn’t seem fair." he replies.

"alright fine." you say, clicking out the movie preview and continuing to scroll.

chris frowns looking at the change in tone. as much as he hates romance movies he hates upsetting you more. "wait no if you really want to watch it we can."

"no im not going to force you to watch something you don’t want to watch." you say, trying not to sound annoyed or sad.

“no im serious we can watch it. you just have to promise not to fall asleep." he says, smiling at your face slightly light up.

you click back in the movie, rubbing your face against into your boyfriends chest. "no promises. i’m already sleepy." you giggle, while chris rubbed his fingers through your messy hair.

and you were beyond right. twenty minutes in you were passed out. snoring slightly and holding chris like he was a teddy bear. he wasn’t even watching the movie, he was watching you.

the way you were smiling at something in your sleep and slightly drooling seemed so adorable to him. your hair was just scatted across his chest while he kept playing around with your loose strands.

his eyes glanced at his phone in his hand and frowned at how late it was. he turned off the running movie, putting the laptop on his end table, being so careful not to wake you.

you rolled over to your side, so you were completely against chris’ chest. he just couldn’t stop smiling.

he rubbed your cheeks slightly, before kissing your temple good night, drifting asleep with you in his arms moments later here with you.

[miiiwu]

these r pretty common here but i love transmasc mike and vyvyan (i think mike would be more like stealth binary trans), transfemme genderfluid rick (tho transmasc rick is also fun), neil being like. plantgender/otherkin nonbinary and the secret fifth roommate being a complete agender enigma with no discernible agab are fun.

i tend to enjoy depictions that r more period + character/voice accurate though so i don't think they would use that exact terminology for it. but basically none of these bozos r cis

i love the idea of Vyv doing diyhrt and possibly his own top surgery (and maybe bottom surgery but he'd probably put like. dynamite in his penis or some shit so maybe he shouldn't be trusted w that kind of power lmao)

i feel like these r all pretty typical stuff other ppl have already said tho, so there's more original (and unhinged) stuff under the read more im so sorry lmao

uhmmmm ok more original stuff uhh i think rick has a brat taming kink/thing where he acts super annoying bc he subconsciously wants to get smacked around bc of some psychological shit about being a pampered upper middle class only child who nobody likes lol. maybe its actually a deep seated self loathing. he thought once he got to university ppl would like him and he'd become super popular, but it turns out he really is just annoying. its not that his peers from childhood were ignorant to his super deep intellectual ideas or whatever lol. i dunno im not a psychologist.

also i think he is both intimidated by and attracted to vyv (not projecting At All)

vyvyan grew up poor without a father figure (that we know of) and with a spiteful alcoholic mother so seeing rick take his parents + other privileges for granted makes him want to kick his ass. i love the idea that vyv and mike r childhood friends also, and mike sort of Was like a father in some ways despite being (presumably?) the same age as vyv. it explains why he’s the only flatmate vyv doesn’t physically hurt and makes it kinda cute when he calls him michael. 2 me

also i think vyv and rick have autism but their specific brands of autism clash with each other (one needs quiet, the other needs constant noise,, that sort of thing) and it drives them both crazy

and i think all 4 of them have some form of ADHD or other disorder that effects executive function bc that's the only way i can see them letting the house get that dirty 💀💀💀

also i think vyv absolutely gets off on humiliating rick but i don’t think he even realizes he’s getting off on it if u know what i mean (he'd never admit it to himself, bc that's 'girly' and gay!!!). like with the virgin sign (and presumably making him wear a t-shirt later too), its meant as typical vyv torment but also um. that whole incident was just gay sex. what do you mean you two shook the bed so hard it fell thru the ceiling um hello???

also i think all four flatmates of some flavor of gay/bi but have comphet/pretend to like girls way more than they rlly do. their masculinity (and by extension heterosexuality) is a performance. especially mike’s. tho tbf everything about mike is a performance. the cool person persona is fake as hell. obvs some of it is related to the implication that he’s somewhat involved in shady dealings (where tf did he get that gun, why was he the one to suggest robbing the bank, he literally tried to sell a nuke, paying off the dean of the college etc). And you know what? I'm starting to suspect Michael “Mike” The Cool Person isn't even his real name.

(also i think the fakeness of his cool guy persona is super interesting from a trans perspective)

neil is treated as the overworked unappreciated housewife/mother, while mikes the father everyone seeks the approval of, with vyv being the violent brother and rick being the socially conscious sister whose pigtails he tugs on (the bart and lisa of the flat lol) they’re basically the Nuclear Family in the form of 4 university students which i guess isn’t even headcanons anymore im just stating the actual intent of the show but im in too deep now and the gender politics of the young ones is interesting 2 me. despite featuring very few women characters i think lise mayer gave the scripts some Sauce.

neil consistently is forced into the traditional/stereotypical role of a woman in a lot of ways (including vyv oggling him in ricks dress) and as a result of this treatment (as well as probably an actual case of major depressive disorder imo) he repeatedly attempts suicide and/or threatens to do so as a cry for help. some of his attempts are so poorly executed it rlly does seem more like an ignored cry for help.

he's passive aggressive as hell, believes ridiculous stuff causes cancer and absolutely would fall for a pyramid scheme. just like a real mum! (feels so weird to type mum when you're american 😭 i feel like those ppl in 2012 who were like weebs for britain. teaboos💀)

neil to me is that one thing moms/mums sometimes do where they r all "omg I'm the only person who does anything in this house" while doing dishes and when u ask if they want help they say no but r like. sighing and sad about it. like perhaps they would like help but don't want to admit it or realize they could have asked this whole time but didn't and now feel embarrassed or ashamed by not realizing this sooner (not that the other guys would ever willingly help with cleaning). honestly i think neil likes wallowing in misery a little. idk

the line where he says he might as well be their mums and they reply that they at least *like* their mums, i don't buy that shit. Vyv has a strained relationship w his at best and you cannot convince me rick doesn't yell at his mum constantly. and mike for all we know could've been created in a government lab for all we know about his family+upbringing. i think they likely all love their mothers but i don't think they 'like' or respect them, and for this, neil really is the mum of the group no matter what the other 3 say >:3

there's probably more gender role stuff a way smarter and more qualified person could go into but that's all i have on that lol

ok back to regularly scheduled horny rivyan psychoanalysis

i think vyvyan's desire to become a doctor is partially rooted in his enjoyment of torturing small rodents (ie. SPG), and to him people are like. Big Rodents. and part of why he targets rick so often is because he reminds him of one (he is my precious rat boy). I've said this before somewhere but rick is like a prey animal to me.

uhmmm also i think if vyv came out as trans to rick he'd be super ignorant but outwardly go “oh yea transsexuality is so anarchic, right on! I dabble in a bit of transvesticism myself…” but he just really really really wants 2 know whats in vyvs pants 😭

and just wait until he does some reading and finds out about tdick and bottom surgery options. he'd probably keep avoiding eye contact but doing his gay little coquette shimmy every time they r in the same room and try to """subtly""" bring it up to him when he thinks mike and neil aren't listening lol

like “gulps is that your p-p-p-p-pussy vyvyan….” behavior.

i think some of vyv's aggression towards rick is just like. why dont i have a penis right now. i need 2 jackhammer this obnoxious twink somehow (oh no i'm projecting onto vyvyan i need to stop before this gets out of hand)

uh ok ok this isn't a headcanon but I'm obsessed with that one scene in Flood where they r all holding down neil to kill and eat him and he asks for a last cigarette and mike gets one for himself and rick instinctively lights it for him. Also in Cash when Mike and Vyv use Rick as a sofa um anyways um uhhh vyv phalloplasty/penis star tattoos/piercings goodnight everypony

what’re your favourite the young ones headcanons ? i need moreeeee

[elvenbeard]

Opening some Sketch Commissions!

I put out a small interest check for commissions in this style a while ago, and now I'd like to open 15 slots for starters due to some unexpected expenses recently.

In general my usual [Terms of Service] apply, with some slight adjustments for this special format. By commissioning me you agree to the above terms and as follows:

When your slot is confirmed you receive an invoice from me over the full amount that needs to be paid upfront before I get started (there is no draft that needs to be approved bc these sketches are basically what my drafts look like, just a little more color)

You get the chance to request edits once the drawing is finished!

You can request a slot only by filling out the following google form:

https://forms.gle/vVAfDtXUQcnc64f59

The end product is not a polished or very high resolution drawing, the above doodles are examples of what the final result could look like, but my style here is a lot less consistent compared to full illustrations. I'd still be super duper happy to draw some blorbos, OCs and canon characters alike, fandom or original (as long as you have a photo or screenshot reference I can work with!). You can request multiple slots for multiple portraits, but it is always going to be only one character per portrait!

Reblogging is as always greatly appreciated 💜Looking forward to hearing from you all and drawing your characters and faves :D

[worldstarz]

persona 3 spoilers (part 2!)

pairing: shinjiro aragaki x fem!reader

tags: angst

a/n: continuation of this post. i will edit this as soon as i wake up in the morning but i told myself i will not go to bed until this leaves my drafts bc it’s been marinating for like five days. also what is the title of this two part thing??

HUGE SPOILER WARNING FOR OCTOBER IN PERSONA 3 !!!

———

it still smells like him.

the room is barren. shinjiro never wanted to leave his mark on the world, trying to erase his own existence. but, as you lie on the sheets that have yet to be changed, the subtle musky scent engulfs you.

“it still smells like him,” you repeat your thoughts aloud, as if by addressing it would make it permanent.

maybe this was weird. if he were here, standing before you, he would be staring down at you with a quirked brow. “what the hell are you doing?”

why did he come to your room that night? what purpose did he have, knowing his own fate?

you try not to cry. you’ve cried enough already, and the image of shinjiro in your head would certainly scold you, telling you to just get up and get some food with him.

but he’s not here.

sure, it’s not what he would’ve wanted, but you make yourself comfortable on his bed. it’s the least he could do after confessing his desire for you, knowing he would die the same day.

lying on your back, you allow your mind to wander. why does it feel like you’re the only one stuck in the past? how has everyone been able to bounce back so quickly? hell, akihiko is basically his brother and he’s already moved on. speaking of moving on, amada’s completely—

fuck, what is wrong with you?

for the past few days, you tried to block these festering thoughts. being open minded was what lead you to be so close to shinjiro. akihiko just processes his grief differently, while amada was just a kid blinded by revenge.

but still…

you sit up abruptly. he wouldn’t want this.

you swing your legs over the edge of the bed and plant your feet on the ground. he wouldn’t want this.

you stand up, smoothing over your clothes. he wouldn’t want this.

but what the hell do you even know about him? how do you know what he would want? you couldn’t even become close enough to figure out what plagued his mind during his every waking moment. maybe if you did, you would’ve been able to stop—

no. he wouldn’t want this either.

just like how he would want akihiko, amada, and everyone else to come together and move on. he would not want you beating yourself up over something you weren’t involved in.

you take a deep breath in, then out. in. out. okay. you’ve got this. this is your last day to be in his room before everything is moved out. all that will remain is the memory of him. everyone else already got a turn a few days ago, so this is your last chance to preserve whatever fragments of him are left in here.

the drawer to his desk is slightly ajar. out of respect for his privacy, you begin to shut it, but something oddly familiar peaks out.

is that…?

with wide eyes and shaky hands, you reach in.

it’s a photo of the two of you, back when shinjiro still went to school, before you had any ideas about why he came to class everyday all beat up.

you’re smiling, holding up a peace sign, while shinjiro glared at the camera. it was a picture taken to commemorate the end of junior high school—one that took a lot of convincing for him to agree to.

on the back, sprawled in your handwriting, you wrote;

“shinjiro,

i found this picture of us from the last day of junior high! it’s weird how much time has passed.

have you been eating well? how is your sleep? are you still growing out your hair? i know you’re not feeling well, but as soon as your health improves, we should hang out again.

also, i miss seeing you in class. hurry up and get better! i need someone to talk to!

-[name]

11/04/08”

it takes you a second, but you do remember writing this. judging by the date, it was roughly a month after he took his leave of absence, citing medical issues. you didn’t have much contact with him outside of school, so you relied on akihiko to transport the photo to him.

you crouch down, trying to get ahold of your emotions. you’ve done enough crying. he wouldn’t want you to waste so many tears on him.

but haven’t you been ignoring his wishes already?

you bury your face in your hands in a pathetic attempt to muffle your sobs. physically, nobody was in here. but for you, shinjiro was everywhere. in this room, in the hallways, in the lounge, on the streets, at school—he followed you everywhere. your morale bent under the weight of his memory.

only now do you realize there will come a day where you will have known the grief longer than you have known him.

but this pain is better than never knowing him in the first place.

shinjiro, who secretly cooked meals for koromaru.

shinjiro, who never let you go to bed on an empty stomach.

shinjiro, who tried to push you away, but failed.

shinjiro, who held you close hours before his death.

shinjiro, who didn’t want to leave his mark on the world, but left a mark on you.

the grief will never go away. you will carry it with you wherever you go, and the weight of it will never diminish. but, you can grow around it. you will grow around it.

because that’s what he would’ve wanted.

[nyarados]

what the.... the way doing nanowrimo is really helping me with this bc I'm just trying to get the story on the page now and I'm not thinking about actually updating the fic online.... like I'm only 4500words in (I should have hit 18k+ today 💀) but I'm still doing better than I was previously....

UGH I am so not into the ch1 I posted of my fic.... I like ch2 tho but i can't post that without updating ch1 first which is why I haven't touched either in months

[theharrowing]

Collateral 🗡️ POV: Hoseok

Hoseok lets Seokjin break him a little before he picks of the pieces between the family men. Handling everyone's bullshit is a full-time job, but Hoseok does it well.

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

❗ THIS IS A CHARACTER POV CHAPTER!!!

if you do not wish to perceive any POV that is not the main character, please feel free to skip this one!

🗡️Seokjin x Hoseok

🗡️ word count: 6.8k

🗡️ mafia au, established relationship, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit, 21+

🗡️ warnings: bottom & submissive Hoseok, top & dominant Seokjin; i don't know if i need to include "bathing one's lover" but idk it feels like a warning bc it's somewhat erotic and feels a little like body worship; shower sex (hair tugging; rough blowjob; use of the word "whore"; using anal toys to stretch oneself; rough anal sex against the wall; cum getting everywhere; mention of safeword; Seokjin's dirty talk is kind of nuts; ass eating; cum eating; a touch of aftercare); mention of drug running activities, creation of weapons, and the acquisition of firearms. some poolside making out.

🗡️ notes: mc is referred to in 3rd person (she/her) pronouns for this chapter! more slice of life, mafia style! this takes place so long ago, it feels cute revisiting this point of the story. enjoy!

🗡️ early draft beta read by @blog-name-idk - with minor unbeta’d edits done since.

🗡️ posted april 2024 - originally may 2023 | read on ao3

Hoseok's morning begins the way they often do: waking up moments before Seokjin's alarm blares. He blinks awake slowly and stretches his arms over his head, rolling away from the body over which his arm and leg had been draped, and onto his back, tugging their blood-red comforter as he moves. 

A small whine escapes Hoseok's lips as his muscles tug through the stretch—a gentle hint of discomfort blending with sweet release—and as he lets out a slow, peaceful huff of air, the shrill sound of an alarm screams, making Hoseok wince. 

With a grumble, Seokjin reaches and shuts the alarm off, then he rolls onto his back and quickly onto his side, wrapping all his limbs around Hoseok with his eyes barely open. Hoseok feels a warm, deep affection as Seokjin's naked body engulfs his, and he buries his face into Hoseok's neck. The hot breath that wafts from Seokjin's lips tickles enough to make Hoseok grumble and attempt to shove away despite not wanting to leave the tight warmth of his embrace. 

"Ho-wah," Seokjin mutters, a familiar nickname that is hardly passable as a word, and Hoseok hums in response. "What are you doing today?"

Now that Seokjin is settled, Hoseok hooks his legs around an ankle and a hip, and he relaxes with his eyes closed while he hums once more, a long pensive sound as he considers all that he has to do today. It is not much, but events and meetings within the family rarely go as planned.

"Gotta meet Ggukie," Hoseok responds through a yawn, making Seokjin yawn, as well. "And then Namjoon. Yoongi and the cub are taking the terror twins to the gun range, so the only person unaccounted for is Jimin."

"Ah, Jiminah," Seokjin grumbles, "what has he been up to?"

"Working," Hoseok responds, though he is not entirely certain. Jimin tends to be the outlier within the family, pursuing his own goals and staying out of trouble as best as he can. It is rare that he requests assistance from any of them. "Perhaps playing. Who knows."

"I miss him," Seokjin says after a few silent seconds. "We should have him back here soon."

"You miss him, or you miss his ass?" Hoseok asks playfully.

Seokjin chuckles as he mutters, "Same thing," with a shrug. 

Hoseok supposes he misses Jimin, too. The thought had not occurred before, but now that he is faced with it, he concedes. Jimin is good company, and the way his body melts in tandem with his and Seokjin's really is something special. Not to mention, his pain tolerance is impressive. 

"What about you?" Hoseok asks, using his leg to pull Seokjin's leg impossibly closer. "Anything not too unspeakable on the docket?"

"Meeting with Yoongi later," Seokjin says simply, and Hoseok nods in understanding, knowing that more information likely will not come. He adds, "A brief meeting. He might have to go to Hong Kong to chat with The Tigers, so we are finalizing some details."

Hoseok is only somewhat aware of the goings on in Hong Kong with the new guys, having been given the same information as everyone else, which is that Yoongi is going to be using another crew to handle some of the tasks he is no longer interested in being in charge of. Chiefly, drug running, which Hoseok is tasked with having a conversation with Jeongguk about later. If there is one thing the youngest hates, it is change.

"Shall we?" Seokjin grumbles as he begins an attempt to roll away, but Hoseok pulls him close and hugs him tighter. 

"We shall not," he whines, taking his turn burying his face in Seokjin's neck to breathe in the faintly soft musk of his skin and hair. "I still have an hour, and you evidently have nothing for a while. Stay here a bit longer."

With a burst of mocking laughter, Seokjin says, "If you want me to fuck you, just say so," and although it was not necessarily what Hoseok had in mind, the idea does excite him. 

"Gotta be quick," Hoseok warns; Seokjin loves to take his time and, frankly, an hour is nowhere near long enough.

"Are you being bossy, puppy?" Seokjin responds in a sharp tone, sending a chill through Hoseok that makes his breath fall ragged. 

"No, sir," Hoseok responds automatically, body relaxing as Seokjin begins to pull away from their embrace.

"How about we fuck in the shower?" Seokjin offers, voice soft and sweet, giving Hoseok's heart whiplash. "That way we can take care of both activities at once."

Hoseok likes the idea—thrilled at the prospect of having his cheek pressed against cold, hard tile as Seokjin knocks every last bit of air from his lungs. 

"Yes, please," he mutters, thrilled when Seokjin sits up and pushes the blanket from the two of them, making Hoseok shiver from the air on his bare skin.

Seokjin swings his legs over the edge of the mattress and lifts his phone briefly from the bedside table, presumably to check for notifications, then he gets up and walks past the length of the bed and around the end toward the ensuite. Hoseok stretches once more before following behind, feet touching down onto a soft burgundy rug over which he wiggles his toes before quickly joining Seokjin. 

He shivers when he reaches the en suite and his toes hit cold, white tile, and he quickly prances to the shower stall where Seokjin is busying himself with turning on the various overhead nozzles. 

With his toes on another soft red rug, Hoseok stands and crosses his hands in front of him, arms hanging relaxed, waiting to be instructed. He loves handing over control even before they have begun to do anything. It excites him. 

"Puppy?" Seokjin calls as water sprays from above and steam fills the pristine white-tiled room.

"Yes, sir," Hoseok responds softly. 

Seokjin reaches for a pale pink exfoliating cloth that hangs just to his right, then holds it below a bottle that sits on a waist-high shelf set into the tiled wall and pumps a dollop of clear soap onto it.

"Come," Seokjin says.

Hoseok obeys, stepping into the steamy room to join Seokjin, standing behind him. He takes the towel and begins to wash Seokjin's neck and throat—slowly but thoroughly—before working his way down to Seokjin's shoulders. He washes the right arm first, then the left, making sure to get in between each finger and use his thumbnail to clean under each of Seokjin's fingernails. 

Something about bathing his love always feels so ritualistic and calming, and it brings him comfort knowing that Seokjin enjoys it, too. 

Where Seokjin stands, there is a small pad that is suctioned to the floor, and as Hoseok makes his way down Seokjin's back and torso, to his legs, he slowly sinks to his knees. He tends to the right leg and then the left, lathering soap and getting lower and lower until Seokjin lifts each foot one at a time for him to wash. 

Hoseok stays on his knees as Seokjin steps away to rinse off, and when he returns stroking his pretty, thick length, Hoseok tosses the rag aside, clasps his hands behind his back, and sits up tall to open his mouth like the obedient puppy he is. Without a word, Seokjin takes Hoseok by the back of the head, gripping firmly to his hair, and slides his cock into his mouth. 

The weight of Seokjin on his tongue, stretching the corners of his lips, feels like home, and Hoseok sighs happily, fighting the urge to let his eyelids flutter closed. Seokjin likes it when Hoseok keeps his gaze wide on him, and as mist from the shower gets into his eyes, he blinks it away, letting it blend with his building tears. 

Seokjin fucks Hoseok's mouth, hitting his throat so rhythmically, Hoseok does his best to swallow around him to build his pleasure as quickly as he can. And it does the trick, making Seokjin squeeze and tug at his hair. Under enough pressure, Hoseok can make Seokjin cum in under five minutes—sometimes even three—and he does his best to press his luck, forgoing breathing until it makes him gag.

With a deep, needy groan, Seokjin pulls out, gripping Hoseok's hair enough to hurt, and Hoseok smirks as best as he can with his mouth hanging open and his tongue lolled out. Anger and arousal burn in Seokjin's gaze, which is precisely what Hoseok wants. 

"Trying to make me cum already?" Seokjin groans, yanking on Hoseok's head, making him gasp and grin as he nods. 

"Yes, sir."

"Such a greedy little whore."

"Yes, sir."

Without warning, Seokjin shoves his cock back into Hoseok's mouth and slams it deep, causing his throat to constrict and attempt to gag. Hoseok lurches as he breathes through it, doing his best to let the air pass through his nose while his eyes pool with tears. His hands clench and flex behind his back, and he blinks, keeping his eyes as wide as he can manage while Seokjin leers down at him. 

"If you're so eager to make me cum, then do it. Let's see how fast you are."

Seokjin pulls out, giving Hoseok a chance to heave in air, and then slides himself back into his throat, setting a quick pace of fucking as deep as he can. Hoseok relaxes his jaw and attempts to swallow around him, fluttering his muscles somewhat frantically. It is not his best work, but it is honest work, causing Seokjin to squeeze his hair and rut unevenly against his face. 

It takes no time at all for Seokjin to unravel, and Hoseok hums and moans to vibrate his throat around him, causing Seokjin's own hums and moans to grow louder and more desperate. 

"So good," Seokjin whimpers, "fuck, I'm gonna cum."

Hoseok loves these tiny moments of hearing Seokjin becoming completely gone. His voice cracks and breaks, and his body spasms, handing full control for a few glorious seconds over to Hoseok, who takes over, eagerly sucking him off until his hair is being squeezed so hard, the pain in his scalp is white-hot.

Without another word, Seokjin cums, trembling as spurt after spurt of release hits Hoseok's tongue and trickles down his throat. He does his best to swallow in order to avoid the sensation tickling too much, and he continues to suck until Seokjin is overstimulated and muttering for him to stop. 

"Up," Seokjin commands, voice fucked up and weak as he tugs roughly at Hoseok's hair. "Stretch yourself for me. I want to watch."

Hoseok gets up with a groan, knees having grown accustomed to being bent against the cushion, then he takes his place against the wall, face pressed into cold tile as he uses both hands to spread himself wide and prod at his hole for Seokjin's amusement. There is a shelf to his right dedicated to Hoseok's stretching ritual, and he wastes no time squirting lube onto a metal toy and working himself open with it, hissing and moaning from the stretch. 

Seokjin rubs his hands up and down Hoseok's thighs all the while, squeezing at the soft flesh and cooing at him for being so pretty and perfect, all for him. 

Once Hoseok is stretched around the toy—legs trembling fiercely—Seokjin stands and takes his place behind him, cock hard once more and ready for him. Hoseok loves days like these, when they do not have time to fully, properly prep him before they fuck. He loves the intense, blinding sting of Seokjin working him open, forcing him to accommodate his size. 

The pain is so intense Hoseok holds his breath, quickly becoming lightheaded from the steam that wafts around him, frantically placing the toy back onto the shelf where it lives. He could die just like this and be the happiest man in hell. 

"Too fucking tight," Seokjin groans against Hoseok's neck, shoving him against the tile wall as he trusts into him way too soon for it to feel good. 

Hoseok lets out a weak, "Ah!" dragging his lips against the wall, which is streaked with droplets of condensation from their forgotten shower. 

"No matter how much I fuck this little hole, you are always so god damn tight."

Hoseok's hands slide up to rest against the wall beside his ribs, and he digs his fingertips against the grout between tiles, desperate for purchase of any kind. But it is senseless; there is nothing to get a grip of once Seokjin sets a pace and begins using him properly; all Hoseok can do is chase his own high and hope he does not fall.

He has never fallen, yet; Seokjin would never let him. 

With a slam of his hips, Seokjin knocks what is left of the air from Hoseok's lungs, forcing Hoseok's cock to uncomfortably hit the wall. The squeeze between his body and cold tile is painful—just as he likes it. 

Seokjin sets a punishing pace working Hoseok open, making his screams and sobs echo loudly through the room. The white noise from the shower running behind him causes Hoseok to zone out and fall pliant for Seokjin, who allows him to rest his head back against his shoulder. 

Seokjin is merciless with the way he fucks, sending waves of pleasure-pain rocking through Hoseok's body, from the base of his neck down through his fingertips and toes. Hoseok's sobs become voiceless gasps and hisses, and he closes his eyes, letting all the world fade away, leaving only himself and the ruthless, wet slam of Seokjin's hips. 

Without warning, Seokjin reaches around and begins to tug at Hoseok's cock, making him scream—ripped from his warm, floaty euphoric place back to reality far too soon. It only takes a few strokes to send Hoseok to the edge, forcing him to paint the tile with his release, and then Seokjin shoves him against the tile to slide against his own goopy cum while he continues. 

It is absolutely disgusting the way Hoseok's torso becomes covered in sticky release. How he manages to shoot it so high up is beyond him, but he can feel the cum against his chest, causing him to slide up and down the wall. 

The painful squeeze of overstimulation takes over suddenly, and Hoseok begins to claw once more at the thin strips of grout, desperate for relief. But relief does not come—not yet. Seokjin uses him past the point of overstimulation, mocking and cooing while Hoseok begs him to finish. 

"Please," Hoseok squeals as Seokjin's cock drills him painfully hard and deep, "please, it's too much. I can't—sir, I can't! Cum for me, please, please!"

Sir, I can't is not Hoseok's safeword, and his pleas go ignored, falling on deaf ears.

Rather, Seokjin just encourages him to keep screaming. 

"Fuck, listen to your desperation, baby. That is gonna make me cum. Keep begging me to stop. You sound so fucking good."  

The urge to revolt and become petulant rises despite the pleasure that courses through him, and the heightened emotions assist with causing his cock to expand once more. At this rate, if Seokjin manages to pull a second and third orgasm from him, Hoseok will surely be lost to the world for the rest of the day, and he needs to be coherent to meet with Jeongguk. 

But reasoning with the man while he is balls-deep and mocking him is impossible. And Hoseok would be unable to find the words, anyway, already having used up his last few working brain cells to attempt to beg his lover to cum. 

"Sir," he mutters mindlessly between loud sobs, instead, "please. Pleasepleaseplease."

"Sounds so pretty when you cry," Seokjin coos gently as his hips rut hard and fast. 

Seokjin's fingers hold tightly to Hoseok's hips, undoubtedly adding to the dots of bruises already there. If Hoseok had more wits about him, it may even hurt a little to have Seokjin dig into past marks, but instead, the area is hot and tingling, feeling a bit numb. 

"You're lucky we don't have all morning," Seokjin groans against Hoseok's neck, dragging his lips and teeth over the skin, sending a shiver down his back. "You're lucky I can't use you until you really are begging me to stop. I would gladly fuck this tight little asshole until you are inside out and falling a-fucking-part."

God, Hoseok loves it when Seokjin becomes sadistic, saying the most deranged shit while buried deep inside him. He practically changes his tune and begs him to fuck him until he is completely broken, never to be used again. He feels exhilarated and incapable of being reasoned with. 

Seokjin yanks Hoseok's ass back, pulling him off the wall, and ruts impossibly faster, causing Hoseok's back to arc, frozen in pleasure while he trembles from the pain. Hoseok does his best to stay in place, feet planted on a little mat below so that he does not slide, and Seokjin uses him until his hips become uneven and he fills him with his release. 

The sound of Seokjin moaning echoes loudly off the walls, voice pitchy and ripped to shreds. Hands caress Hoseok's sides and back, over his shoulders and down his arms, and affection blooms throughout him as Seokjin's hips quake and he pulls out. 

As the hands slide down to Hoseok's hips and ass, Hoseok widens his stance and presses his chest once more into the wall, shivering as his skin hits the cold, hard surface. Seokjin spreads him wide and begins eating him out, licking, sucking, and prodding at his hole, pushing Hoseok close to his second orgasm. 

Seokjin is loud as he devours him, slurping and humming as if his own cum is the most delicious meal he has ever had. And when Seokjin is finished, he takes Hoseok by the hips and spins him around, making Hoseok giggle as he stumbles until his ass hits tile and his cock is swallowed whole.

The sensation makes Hoseok double over, placing his hands on Seokjin's shoulders for stability. Seokjin wastes no time sucking like his life depends on it, squeezing his cheeks tight and pushing Hoseok deep into his throat. Hoseok is unable to find the words of warning, voice breaking on scrambled vowels and consonants as he shoots his cum into his boyfriend's throat. 

When Seokjin releases his spent cock and sits back on his knees, Hoseok finally lets out a large gust of breath he had been holding onto. He feels exhausted and used in all the best ways, hole achingly empty. 

Seokjin gets onto his feet, grabs a blue cloth from the wall, and lathers it with soap, then begins to wash Hoseok much the same way Hoseok had washed him earlier. His movements are a bit rushed, but he is thorough, and for that, Hoseok is grateful. He really could stand in this shower all day and bask in the attention of his lover. What a shame he has to meet with Jeongguk so early. 

* * *

Dressed in his standard blacks, Hoseok makes his way to Jeongguk’s front step, taking the steel door knocker in his fist and firmly slamming it into the door three times. He is six minutes behind schedule, but only Seokjin and Yoongi care about tardiness. And anyway, he sent Jeongguk a text when he left to let him know he was on his way. 

Jeongguk opens the door just enough to unlock it, and Hoseok places a palm over the dark wood and presses forward, letting himself in. 

“Sorry, hyung,” Jeongguk grumbles as he walks quickly from the door toward the kitchen. He wears a long black tee and black joggers, and his hair is a wild, dark mess. 

Hoseok snickers and kicks from his shoes, curious whether Taehyung is lurking somewhere. Then he makes his way through the mostly empty space, past a couch that is shoved too close to the television for anyone to actually sit at, and the punching bag that takes up the center of the room. He finds the youngest at the stove, stirring something. 

“Have you eaten?” Jeongguk asks without glancing over his shoulder. 

Hoseok grabbed a bite of a blueberry muffin that Seokjin had been enjoying before leaving, but otherwise, he had not found the time to have breakfast. 

“I have not.”

“Good,” Jeongguk responds, continuing to stir. 

The smell of peppers, onions, and butter wafts into his senses as he slowly and carefully has a seat at Jeongguk’s dining table. His stomach growls loudly. 

“I wanted to have it done before you got here, but I was…uh…distracted.”

“Is your distraction still here?” Hoseok teases, curious because he is unsure whether Taehyung has clearance to overhear their conversation. 

“He went home,” Jeongguk simply responds as he begins plating the food.

Hoseok sits back in the wooden chair and watches as Jeongguk takes out two glasses for water and one for coffee. He fills the coffee cup, leaving it black the way Hoseok likes it, and brings it over while cradling two water glasses in his other hand. 

“I can help you,” Hoseok offers, knowing Jeongguk does not accept help but eager to be polite. 

“You relax, hyung,” Jeongguk insists as the drinks are set down, and he returns to the counter where the plates have been left, carrying one in each hand. 

Jeongguk has made omelets with a scoop of rice and kimchi on the side, and Hoseok watches with bated breath as the plate is set before him, picking up utensils, eager to dig in. 

“Eat well,” Jeongguk says as he rounds the table and takes the seat in front of him. 

Once Jeongguk is settled down, Hoseok digs in. He wonders if, in another life, Jeongguk would have taken up cooking as a profession. Everything is seasoned perfectly and cooked just right, as always. 

“This is amazing, Ggukah,” Hoseok mutters with a mouthful of food, chasing it back with a gulp of perfectly brewed coffee. “Thank you.” 

Jeongguk hums in response, eating quickly, as if his life depends on it. It is always this way with Jeongguk—he always seems in some great rush to finish his food. 

Hoseok, on the other hand, takes his time, savoring each bite while waiting for Jeongguk to be ready to talk. When the youngest finally does shove his plate away with a satisfied groan, Hoseok pats at the sides of his mouth with his white cloth napkin and places it gently beside his half-empty plate. 

“About this transition of duties,” Hoseok begins, winning him a petulant whine from across the table that makes him chuckle softly. He decides to tease the guy, instead. “Are you really this sour about giving up drug running?”  

“It’s not about the drugs,” Jeongguk insists for what he clearly believes to be the hundredth time, based on the dramatic look of exasperation that he pulls. “It’s about—“

“The principle of the thing,” Hoseok interrupts, taking the words from Jeongguk’s lips. “You will have more responsibilities as one of Yoongi’s right hands.”

“I'm sure he needs more right hands since his current one is busy fucking his fiancée,” Jeongguk grumbles, not missing a beat. 

Hoseok cannot hold back the laughter that bursts from his chest, winning him a glare from across the table. Jeongguk's audacity never fails to crack Hoseok up. 

“His fake fiancée,” Hoseok corrects as he lifts his coffee to his lips and savors a warm, bittersweet gulp. 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, clearly already fed up with this conversation. And Hoseok cannot blame him; things seemed fine before Yoongi set his sights on the cub. Why he decided to complicate their lives and hers is still beyond him. The money her ex owes him is hardly enough to be concerned over—certainly less than they usually shake a man down for. 

“Namjoon still performs all his duties,” Hoseok continues, feeling a sudden urge to defend his friend. 

He really does feel for Namjoon—the man is so desperately in love with Yoongi, and he did struggle at first with feelings of being replaced when their little darling moved in, especially when he had to start sleeping in his own bed again. “Yoongi is simply tired of being a drug lord. He makes enough to afford a middle man, and The Tigers are a good fit.”

The Tigers are a group currently operating out of Hong Kong. Should they accept the responsibilities of Yoongi’s drug operations, they would have income flooding in. Two of their associates are stationed in Taiwan, tripling their efforts. All of this has been explained to Jeongguk, of course, yet he refuses to listen. 

“I could use a hand with weapons,” Hoseok says, trying a new tactic of swaying him. Truth be told, he really could use some help with both the acquisition of firearms, the building of incendiaries, and other pleasure projects. Ryujin has been a bit too quiet these days, and if she gets word about Hyunjin, they may need to be prepared for anything. 

Jeongguk hums, nodding once while avoiding eye contact, the way he does when there is something on his mind. Hoseok has an idea of what may be bothering him, but he waits to see if he will spit it out while he has a couple more bites of his cold breakfast. 

When he does not, Hoseok chases the food with water and asks, “What is it?” before shoveling more food into his mouth. Jeongguk really is a phenomenal cook. 

“I just…” Jeongguk begins. 

Then he finally lifts his face, and Hoseok sees all essence of the man stripped away, leaving behind the wide-eyed boy he knew back when he joined the family. The look in Jeongguk's eye is one of worry, making Hoseok’s heart ache, and he sets his utensils down and places his hands in his lap. 

“Nobody is replacing you, Jeonggukah.”

Jeongguk frowns. “That’s not—“

“Are you sure?”

With a sigh, Jeongguk shakes his head. Then he points his gaze, squinting at Hoseok. 

“Has Seokjin hyung told you something?”

This makes Hoseok chuckle, further furrowing Jeongguk’s brow. 

“Jeonggukah, Seokjin is not conspiring anything. I know you tend to be wary of him, but although there are plenty of things only he knows, he is not hiding anything.”

“Hmm,” Jeongguk responds, folding his arms over his chest. “We’ll see.”

With that, Jeongguk leaves the room, and Hoseok cracks a smile before finishing his plate of food. The sound of velcro adjusting cuts through the silence of the room, and Hoseok savors the final bites of omelet and kimchi. Then he drinks back the rest of the coffee and leaves the dining space to join Jeongguk. 

He hears the sounds of glove-clad fists hitting a punching bag before he sees Jeongguk boxing—hopping lightly from foot to foot and pretending to dodge between punches. 

“I meant it when I said I could use help,” Hoseok calls loud enough to be heard over Jeongguk’s fists striking leather.

Jeongguk says nothing, but Hoseok can see in his eyes that he is considering the offer. The man is smart and having someone like him on his team would be invaluable. 

And, perhaps with his closeness in proximity, Hoseok can help the guy cope a little better with his demons. He thinks no longer having first dibs on all of the best cocaine in Seoul will be good for Jeongguk.

Hoseok stands a while longer and watches Jeongguk box. Everything from his stance to his strikes is calculated and precise; showmanship at its finest. Really, everything Jeongguk does amazes Hoseok, when he thinks about it.

Finally, Jeongguk stops. Even though not much time has passed, he is panting and glistening with a sheen of sweat. He rolls his shoulders back and nods to Hoseok as he speaks.  

"What have you been building?"

Hoseok perks up and considers this a win, smiling to himself as he runs through a mental list of all the latest gadgets and weapons he has been in the process of manufacturing. 

"One of my latest toys is a hubcap with blades that extend out, so you can ram the car next to you and slash their tires."

Jeongguk's mouth and eyes widen comically, then he blinks from his thoughts and shakes his head, laughing as he asks, "You're joking, right?"

"Nah," Hoseok responds, also laughing because Jeongguk is absolutely precious. "We've been working on them for several months."

With another shake of his head, Jeongguk mutters, "That's some James Bond shit," and Hoseok laughs even harder, bending at the waist and placing his hands on his knees for stability. 

"You have no idea," he says, thinking of all the other James Bond-type contraptions and weapons he has been working on, making Jeongguk laugh harder. 

Moments pass, the laughter dies, and Jeongguk nibbles on his bottom lip while his eyes trail around the room. He screws up his face the way he does whenever faced with a choice, then nods his head and says, "Alright. I'll consider joining you."

This makes Hoseok's heart soar, and he claps his hands while shouting, "Oh, good!" and making Jeongguk laugh some more. 

* * *

Jinnie Might have to head to Busan and oversee Hyunjin's escape. Care to join me?

Hoseok As exciting as that sounds, I think I would rather stay home and enjoy a nice warm bubble bath. 

Jinnie Preemptively scheduling a bath without knowing which day I have to leave?

Hoseok You know me, always prepared for anything!

Jinnie Suit yourself.  I expect pics, baby.

Hoseok Of course, sir. ;) How was the meeting?

Jinnie Brief. Yoongi and company came back from the range drunk, and they all convened in the pool. Could hardly capture his attention for ten minutes. 

Hoseok  Did he forget about the meeting?

Jinnie Likely, but that's fine. I just needed the green light to start pulling Hyunjin out. I have a feeling he doesn't actually care how I do it as long as it gets done. 

Hoseok Anything involving Busan is a sore spot. 

Jinnie It's ridiculous, honestly. How many years will it take for him to move on?

Hoseok I wanted to speak with him, but I guess it can wait. Coming back home?

Jinnie Walking up the path right now, baby.

Hoseok  Movie night?

Jinnie Sounds perfect. 

* * *

Hours earlier, after his meeting with Jeongguk, Hoseok sent a text to Yoongi asking when a good time to meet up and have a little chat might be. He is surprised to find Yoongi responding, given that Seokjin said he was drunk earlier. He wonders if it would be wise to check in with his friend at a time like this. 

Credits roll on The Matrix, and Hoseok sighs as he leans forward to place the empty metal popcorn dish onto the table, careful not to stir Seokjin, whose head lies in his lap; as soon as the film began, it had taken approximately twenty minutes for him to fall fast asleep. 

Despite his efforts, however, Seokjin grumbles and rolls onto his back, stretching as best as he can, given he is lying on a long mauve velvet couch with his head resting on a thigh. Hoseok gently runs his fingers through Seokjin's hair, smiling at the man who blinks away sleep with a lazy smile. 

"Yoongi messaged a bit ago saying I could stop by for a chat, so I think I may."

With a sound somewhere between a hum and a yawn, Seokjin asks, "Mmm—what time is it?" while curling onto his side toward the back of the couch with his face buried against Hoseok's stomach. 

"A little after seven," Hoseok guesses, given it was around five when they started the film.

"What are you gonna talk about?" Seokjin mutters, voice muffled in Hoseok's black t-shirt, huffing warmth through the fabric and onto his skin.

"Just gonna touch base and let him know how my talk with Jeongguk went. I have a feeling Gguk hasn't said anything about it."

"Likely not," Seokjin grumbles. 

"We've also gotten some offers from a Russian contact for some machine guns, and I am curious whether that is something he may want."

Seokjin nods and rolls onto his back before sitting up with a groan, seeming reluctant to lose the lap that so dutifully acts as a pillow. He yawns again as he asks, "Kalashnikova? Vityaz?"

Hoseok lifts his legs straight and stretches, then slides to the edge of the couch and stands, feeling the tired ache of limbs that have sat unmoving for far too long. 

"My, aren't we a nosey one," Hoseok teases, avoiding the question because he does not like discussing firearms in the comfort of his home.

Stepping in front of Seokjin, Hoseok takes his face in both hands and plants quick, sloppy kisses against his cheeks and forehead until Seokjin gets frustrated and attempts to push him away. 

"Excuse me for taking an interest in your work," he pouts.

Hoseok smiles and concedes, giving Seokjin space and letting him breathe. Then he walks over to the entrance, grabs a black bomber jacket from the rack beside the front door, and slides his feet into a pair of black leather loafers. 

"See you soon, Jinnie," Hoseok calls, glancing back to the couch to find no sign of Seokjin—he must have laid back down. 

A grumble from the couch confirms his suspicions, and Hoseok smiles as he makes his way out the door, into the cool evening air. Just to be sure that Yoongi is still available to meet, Hoseok gives him a call, making his way down the path that leads to the back gardens of the main mansion. He enjoys taking the long way. 

"Ah, there he is!" Yoongi announces, bypassing any greeting, and Hoseok can already tell that Yoongi is definitely still drunk. He thinks he can hear the terror twins shouting in the background and wonders if they are all still at the pool.

"Here I am," Hoseok responds, eyes on the gravel and dirt path ahead. "I'm heading over now, assuming this is still a good time."

"Ah, I would have told you to wear a bathing suit!" 

Hoseok chuckles and shakes his head despite there being nobody to see him. "I'm not in the mood for a swim, but I appreciate the gesture. Who is with you?"

The longer of the two paths that connects the two properties opens into the shrub maze in the back of Yoongi's gardens, and Hoseok walks around it, taking the shortcut along a path between the outermost hedges and the wall of trees that enclose the property. From this distance, he can see lights shining above the pool area.

"Joonie, Tae, and Ggukie," Yoongi mutters. 

"You sure your hands aren't too full?" Hoseok teases as he passes through an archway, into the larger garden, walking past the Greek statues and fountains. 

"Never too full," Yoongi responds with a chuckle. "You know I love to be overwhelmed at all times."

Hoseok knows all too well that this is the case; it is part of what worries him.

"Is the pool entrance open?" Hoseok asks as he approaches; there is a gate that leads directly into the pool from the garden, making it easier to get to than walking through the mansion.

"Joonie!" Yoongi yells, muffled slightly as if his hand is over the microphone of his device. "Be a dear and let Seokie in through the gate!" 

Hoseok approaches in time for the large wooden door to swing open, and he stops in his tracks when he is greeted by Namjoon glistening wet with a dopey smile, wearing black swim trunks that cling to what little they manage to cover.

He has all but forgotten about his call with Yoongi, and he glances at his phone to find that the call has already been ended. With a chuckle, he slides the device into his pocket, bows his head at Namjoon, and mutters, "Thanks, Joon," as he enters the pool area.  

Something sexy and downtempo plays over the speakers, and there are champagne bottles scattered from the diving boards to the pool beds that are tucked away under awnings. Hoseok finds Taehyung and Jeongguk making out in the deep end by the diving boards, with Jeongguk pressed against the wall and Taehyung looming over him. It takes a moment to notice that on the far end of the space, Yoongi is reclined in the hot tub.

"Right this way, sir," Namjoon says in a mock butler voice, guiding Hoseok toward Yoongi with a stiff, open palm, making Hoseok laugh. They walk side by side, Namjoon with a bit of a sway in his step.

"Where's the sweetheart?" Hoseok asks, noticing her absence.

"She ran off a while ago," Namjoon responds, and Hoseok notices the little grin that blooms on his face. "Got overwhelmed by too much attention, I imagine."

Oh, this is interesting, indeed. "Attention, hmm?"

Namjoon chuckles and softly mutters, "Taehyung made some offhand comment about her and Jeongguk hooking up, and I don't think she has recovered."

"Is that wise?" Hoseok asks before he can stop himself. And although Namjoon seems unaffected by the question, he adds, "Sharing with Taehyung, I mean?"

With a shrug, Namjoon mutters, "Come on, hyung; you and I have both been there before," and he breaks off to round the hot tub from the opposite side where a set of steps are, to wade over to Yoongi.

"Champagne?" Yoongi asks, and Namjoon's eyes widen as if he had forgotten something. 

"Ah, right!" Namjoon responds, "I got distracted and brought you something else."

Hoseok grabs a pool bed and pulls it over to where Yoongi is reclining, dragging it until he can sit within his eye-line, then he has a seat and leans with his elbows on his knees. 

"Hoseokah!" Yoongi shouts with a similarly dopey grin as he sits up, and Hoseok laughs. 

"You're drunk, boss. Should we talk another time?"

Yoongi shakes his head and frowns. "More tired than drunk. But you have my attention."

Although he expects that they will be having this conversation again at some point, Hoseok begins anyway. 

"Jeonggukah doesn't quite seem sold on The Tigers yet, but he has agreed to help with my team if that is something you are interested in allowing."

Yoongi hums and nods, and Namjoon says, "Seokjin has also recommended him for House of Cards, and Jimin has asked about him working the brothels. But I feel like your team could use his brainpower more than the others."

Hoseok is not surprised that Seokjin has jumped on the chance to ask for him, but he is a bit taken aback by Jimin asking for help. Jimin likes his things to be his and only his; he has rejected plenty of offers by the family men and Changbin's security crew to help in the past. 

"I agree that Hoseok's team could use him the most," Yoongi says, voice sounding surprisingly clear considering how tired and inebriated he seems. "But I like the idea of him being sought after. I will find out what the others may need from him, and we can see about having him become a floater."

"I think that's best," Namjoon agrees. 

Hoseok hums and nods his head; the more people are chomping at the bit to have Jeongguk around, the more distracted he may be from whatever plagues him. And he will be less inclined to let his abandonment trauma seep in and make him feel like The Tigers are stepping in to replace him. 

"Alright," Yoongi says with a sigh as he begins to sit up. "I need to get out of here before I become any more lightheaded. Let's run the idea by Jeongguk, and then I am going to get some sleep."

"Sounds good, boss," Hoseok says, standing from the pool bed. All of this could have been negotiated as a phone call, but at least he got plenty of fresh air today. 

Hoseok drags the pool bed back to its rightful spot and joins the others to run the plan by Jeongguk. Taehyung reluctantly stops pressing the youngest into the pool wall, and when Jeongguk turns to face Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok, his gaze is fucked out, and hickeys cover his neck. Hoseok laughs, watching as the poor guy's face turns beet red, and then, after some berating from Yoongi and Namjoon, they begin their conversation.

This is nice, Hoseok thinks. 

The nights are becoming cooler but still temperate enough to handle without bundling up—although Namjoon and Yoongi are shivering into towels that they have draped over their shoulders. 

Despite light pollution, a few bright stars are visible as the sun continues to fully set, and everything seems…calm. Peaceful. Happy. 

Hoseok holds onto this moment and tucks it away. He hopes that everything within the family can stay this good for a while. 

*

thank you for reading!!! and for your patience! 💜💜💜

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE THE LIFEBLOOD OF THIS SITE, BUT LIKES ARE ALSO SUPER APPRECIATED!!! THANK YOU FOR READING, I LOVE YOU!!!

tag lists will be on separate reblogs! they’ve gotten too big to contain as one! if you would like to be tagged in this fic, please let me know!!! 💜💜💜

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

Collateral is copyright 2022 - 2024 theharrowing, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts allowed!

[prentissluvr]

HIII MARIIII

im back with big brother! sammy thoughts :333

so like im half way through season 7 and yk how sam dean and bobby are like living off the grid bc of the Leviathans, what if they were traveling with younger sibling! reader, not on no little kid type,

like teenager almost finished with high school type, and theyre trying to finish school while also trying to capture the Leviathan and keep theyre head

and sam is trying his best to keep his head with Lucifer and also catch the Leviathans while also trying to keep readers head so they dont like drop out of school??? YKWIM? this sounds so request-y I DONT MEAN FOR IT TO BE i just wanna pick your brain 🙁🙏🏽🙏🏽

anyway, love ya!

- alex ⭐️

AGHHH YAY !!! i’m just the hugest sucker for all things big brother sam sigh <33

AND DWWW this is perfect id love love to give my thoughts!!! tysm for sending this is and for providing context so i can remember LMAOOO

but i love this idea!! like i imagine having to go off the grid like. right during the last few months of readers senior year. and it’s good because you don’t have that much homework and all that, but it’s still incredibly important to get everything done so you can graduate. and i can imagine sam doing everything in his power to work with the last school you attended to have them let you finish your assignments through email almost like independent study.

and he’s doing this all while suffering with literal hallucinations😃 but he makes up this sob story (that’s obviously nothing compared to your actual situation) and he uses his perfect gentleman, super sweet older brother charm to convince them over the phone.

it’s just poor poor sam juggling all of this, fighting to keep himself, to get out of this situation, to keep everything else off your shoulders so you can focus on school. and every spare moment he tries to help you with your school work. one day, you're working on a final paper, and he's been sitting there with you, helping you edit, when he falls asleep without meaning to. he hates falling asleep. nightmares. and he'll feel awful about falling asleep on you when you need his help.

but you're alright with it. he already helped you fix the section you were unsure about, and you're almost done anyways. the rest is easy enough, and though you're exhausted out of your mind, it's nice to see sam sleep. you rarely do. you send your teacher your final draft and settle on the couch with him, too tired to get up.

sam does jolt awake from a nightmare. but he's easily grounded when he wakes, for once. you're there, your soft and sleeping form pressed against his side. you don't even stir when he flinches because your body is so exhausted. he still feels guilty when he realizes what happened, but he opens your laptop to see that you finished hours ago, not long after he fell asleep. he doesn't feel too bad. instead, he's glad to see you sleeping. you look different when you sleep, because he's gotten so used to the way that you look tired and stressed all the time now. that sends a pang through his heart when he realizes it. that overwhelming sense of protectiveness that he has for you washes over him like a damn hurricane, especially because your sleeping form looks so vulnerable. open and soft and unprotected except for him.

at least he can wrap an arm around you and fix the angle of your neck. at least you still trust him and love him and ask him for help on school assignments. at least you're there at all. sam can't wait for you to graduate. he knows that you can. he can't wait for you to have that. he can't wait to get you out of this all, if you'll let him.

[hotfuss]

Little big rant ahead:

I joined the fandom with the start of ww era after the previous i was in turned into a literal dumpster on fire. And while it was clear in hindsight that the golden era of the tk fandom was around 2012-2014 (maybe it can be stretched to 2015), ww era wasn't bad either. Yeah the majority of the old guard/bfn was inactive or waning their presence a lot and basically disappeared the moment the ww tour ended we still had:

- gif/edit/moodboard makers

- art makers (not a lot but a few at least!!!)

- people posting pics from other social media. Either band photos or encounters with fans. Like people were ''fighting'' to be the first to repost the band insta pics!!

- people who weren't content creators but that at least they reblogged with funny tags. No, i didn't mind seeing the same pic of brandon 7 times during my catch up scrolling if 4 of them put some kind of tags to read in them (funny/horny/roasting him), that was the enrichment!!

Then the tour ended and fandom activity shrunk to 1/10 of what it used to be. Ressurrected briefly for their appearance at glasto 2019.

Lol thais liked a post about me complaining about not wanting to post 2 gifsets i made bc the fandom was too dead and i didn't want to waste them. It's dated 3 years ago!!!

Then 2020 happened. The pandemic, their social media silence on the blm protests (the bar was literally on the floor... we only wanted a social media post giving support!!!! How come the bootlickers were all up brandon's ass about how difficult it was to rewrite a whole verse of land of the free to play on tv in 2 weeks but posting a black pic on insta tagged blm was too hard??? HOW?), the horrific situation of the roadie hazing happened in the past that resurfaced... like i don't blame anyone who didn't want to engage with the band afterwards (bc they are some good reasons!! I will never forget how they let us down! And while the hazing wasn't perpetrated by the band members it was still such a horrible situation that shouldn't have happened!)

But this was a complete mass extinction here on tumblr. Of all the fandom communities this seems the only one that died like this.

We are currently left with

- 3,5 gif makers

- maybe 2 art makers if i include myself

- maybe 2 people posting pics including myself

No consistent edit/moodboards/meme makers no consistent reposting of official pics from their socials. The like/reblog ratio on posts is 3:1 on good days and close to 4:1 or 5:1 on bad days. I wake to notes (when i get any) that are 80-90% likes. Most of the rare reblogs don't have any kind of commentary at all.

I could easily run my queue for 7-10 days just with posts i could find on my dash, almost zero effort bc i was fed content on my dash. Nowadays i need to spend hours on blogs/my drafts/my bookmarks to put something together, only for likes. It gets tiring easily with a soul and energy sucking job to do to survive only to barely get any reward (reblogs with tags to read). This community will never recover on people who refuse to use the reblog button

It's even harder to compare this fandom to the mcr one, yeah it's a quite unique situation bc having such a thriving fandom despite the band being broken up most of tumblr's life is INSANE but you can't help getting angry/sad at why did they survive but not us? I can reblog so much fanart on my sideblog!! People posting pics!! Many archivial blogs!! The gifsets!! It just feels so unfair!

[yuyuisabookworm]

So it's been a while...................... but recently I was revisiting that AOAB animatic wip from a while ago and since I picked up the series again (I think I'm finally emotionally ready to ride the last of this rollercoaster;;) and well... I really wanted to work again on this and finish it for real this time. Probably going to take my time on it though and focus on making it nice and polished- so expect it to take a while. But I also realized I never posted the original timed proxy draft- granted bc its really rough and honestly only supposed to be a reference for myself for editing and piecing things together later down the line but uh... idk maybe you guys will enjoy it!

[princeanxious]

Hi! I was wondering about your Lost Guardian au from ages ago, do you think you’ll ever plan on updating it and if not, could someone else take up the fic?

So heres the thing. If someone wants to write a fic *inspired* by The Lost Guardian, i’m not gonna stop them, and i’d probably feel super honored so long as the inspiration was correctly credited!

As for ‘taking up the fic,’ the short answer is no.

I have active drafts and the rest of the story already planned out to its finish, notes, even a branch-off fic set post-story that will likely go up on my nsfw blog if i ever get around to editing it. The Lost Guardian hasn’t been abandoned, it’s simply on hiatus. (And yes, i recognize 3 almost 4 years so far is a really fucking long hiatus. The Chapter 9 draft doc was made in december of 2020, and last edited in July 2022)

I started writing that fic whilst still in highschool, a time where I was 17 and didnt have to worry yet about getting my license or maintaining a part time job, i had an over abundance of freetime even partially to my detriment, the fandom was booming and I had plenty of feedback, and this fic was (and still *is*) a story im proud of.

But i’m 22 now, working a full time job to pay rent and account for a number of minor ‘disabilities’(best word i have for them atm) that I cant ignore or push to the side nor treat poorly, from the lasting effects on my body of stunted growth to celiac/glutent intolerance to adhere to that directly determines how easily my body functions for the week, to dealing with glasses i cannot afford to break and taking care of teeth i cannot afford to fix, taking care of my mental health and using the free time i have to do what brings me the most joy at that time.

The sanders sides fandom has heavily quieted down with the season finale hiatus and I’d like to think I did pretty well for going six long years dedicated solely to that without cracking under the silence, because *I knew* when I caved to something else it’d be a long while before I had the drive to come back with any sort of resolution to my active works. Thats just how my hyper fixations work. I cannot focus on multiple at once, it’s too much to process simultaneously and takes away my enjoyment bc I tend to watch/consume things repeatedly to catch every little detail i missed. And it doesn’t help when one loses steam because their content barely breaks 100 notes(80% of which are likes, 15% are reblogs with the occasional comment, and 5% are self-reblogs) when back in the height of it all, a few thousand notes was pretty average interaction. This blog still has about 11.5k followers, almost all of which came from the height of the fandom period. So for now i’ve moved onto the FNAF DCA fandom, bc it is fresh and new to me.

I know you didn’t mean to poke the bear here, I get it, but like.. C’mon. Any other fic of mine likely wouldn’t have gotten the same reaction in full but, still. I’ve had to answer this question a handful of times over the years at the point, which might be why this response feels so charged, and i’m sorry.

I don’t mean to come off as snippy or rude, but it *is* kind of invasive to offer to finish one’s creative work when it’s taking too long and theres very little payback for it. I’ve got adhd, delayed satisfaction isn’t a thing I experience. Just guilt that it wasn’t finished in a way for me to post it in time before I broke and lost all motivation to share it.

In my head, TLG has been long finished and held the ending for years, theres just been no energy to put in the effort of finish writing it for others to read. I’m still trying to get my life together to change that, don’t get me wrong, but the American economy is literally in shambles so who knows how or even if i’ll manage that. Call me selfish for being content with only mentally having my creative story’s ending and a collection of rambles and notes to show for it, but at the end of the day, it’s still my story, and i dont feel comfortable with people trying to ‘take up the mantle’ to finish it, when they don’t know how it ends.

I’m glad you like it enough to want to, though, I really *really* am. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to finish it for you all. And i just don’t know when that will be, I just know that I *want* to do so, however long it takes.

[jisokai]

sorry im so late to the party but beloved… vampire squid ?

Lena I'm kissing you rn for asking about Vampire Squid, thank you.

I wrote this drabble a few weeks/maybe a month??? ago bc I was coping HARD while watching season 7. I know you aren't caught up but also don't mind spoilers but basically I can't get the doomed TogaChako yuri of girls floating in the sky with pink mist and dissolving bodies surrounding them while they talk about how pretty they are and what love is out of my head 😐 kill me.

The fic has developed more since that initial drabble, but the premise is pretty much the same: young Ochako who lives in an ocean town where there are whispers of sea monsters—gangly creatures that suck animals dry and leave them on the shore. Ochako meets one one day, and can't help being captivated despite the fear instilled in her. It's going to span from childhood to adulthood (bc I can only write the same damn tropes it appears 🤠), and include some hefty angst. And!!! HORROR—my roots! (& imo what I write best) I'm so excited for this one to talk about dead things and blood and especially the body horror of Toga being a sea monster, since I still want her power to shape shift to be involved. I haven't written horror in years despite the genre being where I originally started, so I am PUMPED.

I think it's going to be a short (maybe 20k word?) 2-chapter fic, because I want the first chapter to end really really sad 😈🔪 and offer a temporary cliffhanger.

And to answer your DM (lol)—I thought Vampire Squid was a fitting name for this AU, since you know... sea monster that sucks blood. Although it doesn't actually suck blood and is quite harmless to humans, which I think is a cool parallel to the story and the themes of monsters and judgement I'm going to push. My alternative title was Angler Fish, but I don't think it fits as well. There's a chance I might come up with something new though!

This is the fic I'm ready to jump as soon as I finish the last chapter of circus fic. Like, as soon as the draft is done I'm ignoring that giant pile of nonsense and getting straight to work on this—I'm way too excited. And I think it'll be a good break from thinking about clowns, so I can have a week or so to focus on something else and reset before getting to editing.

wip game!

[ghost-rule0]

Mindfuck (Part 1/2)

Vash the Stampede x Reader

Another draft for the fanfic I wanted to try writing down. Again not edited bc I am still at work just writing down ideas. This time Imma split it in two parts tho, one focusing on exploring readers own defensiv strategies while also bonding with our beloved ex insurance worker and now reporter Meryl :3

The second part is again some fluff with Vash obviously and I might also trow in some Wolfwood and or Roberto interactions for the sake of writing them.

I still need to do more researche and draw more concepts for this fanfic to actually start so imma just bomb you with scenarious that I might or might not will later trow in the real book. Also yes I will probebly trow in isekai reader but thats just an idea for now

Enjoy!

The tension in the air was almost suffocating. The room was painfully silent aside from the faint sobbing of children and their mothers trying calm them down, voice trembling in fear.

Y/N knew this scenario more than she did like to. The bandits that held the bank hostage that she and Merly entered some hours ago were having an heated argument in back of the room while the other hostages nerves were tested at the fearful image that was infront them. The bandits had shot one of their own comrades that didn't want to share with them and now was laying dead in his own puddle of blood.

Human brains worked the same no matter which dimension they were in. It didn't matter if it was on Earth or here on Gunsmokes Criminals were always mentally scared beeings, so if stressed some tended to use the only form of problem solving they knew.

That just happened to be violance.

Back at home before she crashed the dessert here some weeks prior she was studying exactly that, using her observant nature and her deep interest in crime to become a profiler.

In a world where Guns and Violance was dominating the planet having the abilitys she possesed, analyzing heavior and seeing the patterns while also manipulating people to let her be, that was her ultimate weapon to stay alive. since the only other weapon she had was a metalic pipe and that barely worked against a fully armed bandits.

She stayed silent most of the event, looking around and calmly observing her surroundings. Originally there were three bandits. Two dominat ones and one subbmissiv guy. Right as they started this whole trouble she knew from experience some shit would eventually go down since most of the time criminals only could operate in groups with one dominat member that so happen to have submissiv sidekicks, so seeing the two man bicker over the leader role already set of the alarm bells in her mind.

Meryl meanwhile was also surprisingly calm, or at least she tried to be. The reporter wasn't used to beeing in the middle of conflict. Since she joined Roberto, Vash had always been the center of attetion which made it a bit easier for her to stay back and have less stress. But Vash wasn't here and she was stuck with the only other person on this god forsaken planet that was similar a danger magnet than the blond man himself.

But that didn't stop her from keeping herself cool. Seemingly more nervous than her partner beside her but still in a better mental state than the other hostages. For Vash for this matter, who was outside with Roberto and wolfwood. The trio hid in a alleyway near the bank, carefully watching the sheriff and the bankers wife talk about the situation. The blond man was basically a nervous wreck and blamed himself for the capture. Telling himself he should have gone with the two girls or at least get inside to save there asses. But he didn't let that get through, while his anxious side was bascially ripping his brain apart the gunslinger and rational side of him was already working on a plan.

Y/N didn't exactly know that but she predicted that he would do something like that. He cared for people too much to just let a hostage happen under his watch. But she knew as much as she wanted to, she couldn't put all the afford on getting them out on the boys. Which is why she already had an idea.

Prior to them walking off to the bank Roberto gave Meryl one of his darengers, which she thankfully had hidden so good in her coat that as the bandits demanded all weapons to be given to them they couldn't find one on her. And since she was the only one currently possesing a weapon it was her job to take out the leader while she herself took the side kick.

The screaming of the leader become loud and obnoxious enough that he had all the attetion of the room, so she could whisper to merly without anyone noticing.

"I think I got a plan" she whispered as her eyes were locked on the duo. "You think? What are we supposed to do its two armed gigants against us" she hissed silently in the (h/cs)nettes ears. Y/N hummed agreeing as answer as her eyes roamed the area. "You still have the gun Roberto gave you right" her voice dropping almost inaudible as the word gun rolled of her tongue, playing even more save no one would notice their conversation. Meryl softly nodded before Y/N spoke up again. "When I give you a signal you shoot the gun out of the bigger guys hand. Try not to aim for his fatal spots until really necessary. I take care of the second one..." she laughed air and soundless before looking at me. "He also has a gun how do you want to do that?! As soon as I hurt his boss we are swiss cheese!"

Carefully observing the smaller man as he started to nervously chew on his fingers she smirked. The gun in his hands he held firmly but his finger never was even near the trigger. He flinched every time his boss was pointing at one if the hostages when he spilled empty threats and ealier as he shoot the other bandit he couldnt even look at the corpse.

"That is gonna be childsplay trust me"

-

It didn´t take long until the argument had finally stopped and the bandits attetion was back at their hostages presence. No one dared to move. They didnt need to rope them up since all of the people were scared, scared too shitless to even try to resist. Most silently sobbed, some prayed, others sat in their corners and accepted their envidible doom and Meryl and Y/N meanwhile had gotten their hands on one of the belongings of the bankers inside. Working in a bank all day takes a lot of time and nerves since its takes full concentration out of someone to carefully count money and take care of the safes in the back. So it wasnt surprising one of them had empty bottles laying around. Collecting laying around juck was less noticable than for example asking the staff memembers for say cigerettes and lighters. It wasnt much but it was enough to cause the bandits to panic. The leader kicked one of the workers in the face as he held his gun to the poor mans head. “you useless fucks are even less worth than the little to no cash you have laying around in this bullshit bank! Not even the Sheriff wants to pay for your pathetic asses! Fucking useless shits!” he growled in rage as the banker cried and plead for his life. “Please..Please! I have a wife and children at home! Please do..don’t kill me” he maniged to croak out between sobs. The Bandit puts his finger on the trigger and grinned, in a widely spread and digusting smile. His eyes were could and his eyebrows twitched in amusment. He was getting a kick out of seeing the mans fear, begging him to not pull the trigger. Y/N knew that face and she cursed silently in her head. The man didn’t care for the money anymore. After killing his teammate he started to get a kick out of it.

He started to like killing people.

“fuck it” the girl growled digusted before jumping up, carefully having moved to the blind spot carefully over the past minutes, before trowing the bottle as hard as she could at the back of the leaders head, stunning him for a second as Meryl dashed forward and shot right trough the hand that was holding the gun. A loud and painful cut trough the silence as blood spat everywhere, leaving the mans head mangled and impaled as the reporter takled his screaming form to the ground and took his gun. Holding both the deringer and the mans own gun to his head, hissing in his hear to stay down or else he would have two more holes in his head to speak shit out from. The other robber meanwhile started to panic and point his gun at her friends head. “Get....get of....off him or else...else I will shoot!” he stuttered out. His eyes were wide and fearful but also paniced. Y/N meanwhile walked slowly between them. Having the gun of the panicking robber pressed against her forhead. As she calmly smiled. Her calm starring made him seemingly shake more, having the finger on the trigger non stop as he blabbeled more nonsense, trying to threath her. But it was barely understandble english since his stuttering made him almost mess up every word. If she didn´t knew better he almost looked like beeing moments away from having a panic attack. Shaking, heavy and unsteady breating, increased heartbeat and blurred vision by tears.

Yeah she knew all this systems all too well from her time back home.

Meryl seemed also to sweat, becoming more nervous for her friends safety as she carefully held the man down, recalling her words from ealier. “childsplay? you are insane!” She chuckled as she smiled at her “maybe you need to be a little insane to survive here. Ok listen I will stun the leader so you can get a good aim for his hand and dash to hold him down. And no matter what you hear, concentrate on holding the guy down and don’t turn around to me, ok?”

She swallowed hard as she mumbled “you are so fucked up” clenching her eyes shut as she forced herself to concentrate fully on holding the guy down, not looking if her friend would soon be silenced as a shoot would ring.

But it never came. The nervous mumbling of the bandit was interupted by a cutting, clear and cocky sounding. “you won´t shoot me, you don’t have the guts to do soo”

The gun fell from his almost forcefully shaking hands, right before the cocky grinning Y/N grabbed him and pulled him forwards. Punching him right in the face, covering her fist with lots of his blood, probebly breaking his nose, before his limp body hit the ground.

---

[the-travelling-witch]

HOLLY!! HOLLY!! LEKD CAOS SORRY

Caps no caps but imagine this ALL in caps CAGSIWID ACARA SCARA

holly: “yes hello, it’s me calling again… do you have a few more anesthetics for me? yeah i wrote modern scara again and stans are feral”

vet: “again?”

lol sorry but what the hell did i log i back in on; putting all of this in one answer

“years ago” is actually one, don’t make me feel worse about this than it actually was okay jsjsh i do warn people pretty liberally that my answer times for request asks are very long and not guaranteed :’)

but yeah i’m happy you obviously enjoyed it

it appears miracles do happen, the path of amelioration starts with but a single step jshshs

i’ve had the first three paragraphs for this in my drafts for some time now, always telling myself i’d work on it while commuting or something but never did. i made a cosy drink and was passively watching tv (totally ignoring that i have a bnha fic that i need to edit) and bc the topic came up during the day, i thought i’d give it another shot at finishing this (and then work til 3am to post it when i actually managed to finish it, bc i am impatient to a fault)

i kinda worked myself into a corner making childe and idol, since realistically i know dating an idol bring with it a whole rat’s tail of restrictions and all but i think about him regularly, so it’s not like i haven’t been seeing him, i’m just not posting about it :]

also yes, i have received the message that you enjoyed it, not even i am that dense lol

hmm yeah, i’ve said it before, i’m a little eh on some VAs and don’t really follow them; sure i think griffin burns has a good voice for childe but so has the jp VA and jp is also the version i play in; something about griffin just rubs me, personally, the wrong way. i’m not saying he is a bad person or anything, there’s just something that makes me not want to engage with him

also we’ve had a lot of stories come out from (not only) VAs doing terrible things and i’ve said for myself that i’m really trying to keep a tight leash on my parasocial relationships and reevaluate them critically; obviously not every VA or celeb is terrible, i saw a video of the english VA for the female trailblazer being very excited that robin’s character showed parallels to emily dickenson and her works, which was very cute

anyway, i don’t mean to rain on your parade, i just wanted to double down on the fact that i’m not big on anything going on around the VAs (wish we could’ve gotten zach aguilar as the new moze VA bc it would’ve been hilarious given what happened with fe3h)

looks good to me though :o also no even if it wasn’t, there probably wouldn’t have been anything for me to do other than reposting; besides people seem to be finding it, which i guess means it shows up for other as well, thank you for the concern though :]

[iantimony]

this tuesdaypost was drafted on monday, please clap

we are cookin with Gas this week

listening: listened to antimai a few times through, favorite track i think is 'ring 5: middle class'. dorian electra - man to man: really fun video too charasho (benny friedman): was linked in jew chat. very charming and funky. 5 Old French Dances: No. 5. Le Basque (arr. for 2 recorders and harpsichord): i heard this a billion year ago on the radio (my wakeup radio station on my alarm clock is classical) and i finally got around to saving a link for it. very bouncy very cute. makes me think of rabbits running in circles a la beatrix potter.

EDIT TO ADD: i also finally listened to beyonce 'cowboy carter'!! i know im late! it's good i like it! not a revolutionary opinion! obsessed with her jolene cover! that's all!

reading: big one this week! i FINISHED 'the left hand of darkness'! i really liked it! still marinating on the themes etc. i started 'the dispossessed', also by le guin, and am devouring that as well. there's some stuff in there that oof ough. existential. but i'm liking it so far, i'm around chapter 5 right now. physicists!

fanfic: imposter syndrome (mikkeneko): i might have already linked it but i can't be assed to go back through a few weeks of tuesdaypost to see if i already have. so if i did, here it is again. really charming premise, gut-punch of an ending, cool twist on the doppelganger setup from dungeon meshi with svsss.

the articles, some of which were actually read a while ago but i forgot to link and am now cleaning out my phone tabs: how will the golden age of 'making it worse' end? (david roth) new canada policy lets indigenous people reclaim their names (emma bowman) what happens to the stay-at-home girlfriend after a breakup? (erika w smith) unschooling is the parenting trend that's pissing everyone off (ej dickson) in defense of 'coffee badging' (monica torres): if i had a job that was all zoom calls i would literally go insane over being made to go into an office to take zoom calls. fuck that what my mother's wardrobe taught me about style and grief after she died: thinking a lot about all my dad's shit will semen destroy your shower drain? granny davis' geocaching page: found when i was looking at some reviews for caches near my apartment. im kind of obsessed with her. she also has a facebook page called 'granny's geo page' if you don't have a geocaching account. literally she is everything to me. she has found So Many fucking geocaches good god. wedding trivia questions: used as reference to create some wedding trivia for a bridal shower! similarly, the wikipedia page for morganatic marriages my fight with a sidewalk robot (emily ackerman): my school has these. hate them. my boyfriend just linked this to me and im obsessed, laser etched paperweights, i am not a huge paperweight girlie but wowwww prettyyyyy. the electron orbitals!!!! i had a search open for "anti mega #1 cray street". i have no idea what this is.

special edition: the link dump from my trip to the uk last month! some very related to the trip itself, a few random extras! top of the poops, an architectural firm bc i saw a sign with their logo and thought it was cool but now i can't find their logo, waring ader space invaders because i saw someone's shirt with the little space invader guys and was like ooh the tate museum joel meyerowitz (and another page about him) wikipedia on gratin dauphinois, wikipedia page on doncaster for some reason i did not go there list of artworks at the national portrait gallery of scotland wikipedia page on the jacobite uprising of 1745 washi tape that would match the edinburgh one i bought there, tintin in the land of the soviets postcard that i didnt end up getting wikipedia for a quaich which is a traditional scottish bowl, a wiki page on the geology of arthur's seat, a book in the scottish national galleries that i thought about purchasing but didn't want to try and fit in my luggage (she is definitely one of my new favorite artists though) wikipedia page on lauryn hill for some reason not sure how i got there, wikipedia page on salome halpir this post was on tumblr and i tried to find the item in the victoria and albert museum but it was sadly not on display, one of the audio guides i listened to a bit of in the v & a, a scarf i almost bought in the v & a a google search for the fabric library at harrods because my mom mentioned that it existed but i could not find it search for blinq (apparently spelled that way) blossoms because of a cocktail my brother's friend ordered that had one as a garnish wikipedia page on the mechanical explanations of gravitation

watching: from wool to cloth using a historical weaving technique (jillian eve): oughhh colors

emma in the moment/made in the moment: a deep dive into the chunky boy crochet lore the crochet stardew valley pillow drama untangling the shocking tale of mystical creations yarn i tried red heart's new all in one granny square yarn

some crochet tips videos from play hooky with me

tiffanyferg: 'personal style' discourse hgtv is a gentrification masterclass cleantok villains and the morality of messiness

playing: a teeny bit of wizard101

making: fallow. well i guess i drew on some cards for my friend's bridal shower. but generally fallow.

eating: made deb smittenkitchen's delicious carrot cake recipe. mine was a little ugly but really really delicious. i bought a bag of preshredded carrots and just sort of roughly chopped em up a little smaller because i couldn't be assed to grate them. i also couldn't be assed to trim the cakes, i did two smaller round pans and stacked them up but because i didn't trim them they were a little wibbly. oh well.

i'm going to bake another cake for my brother's birthday next weekend and i'm between her chocolate olive oil cake (looks really easy) and bittersweet chocolate and pear cake (a little more involved but highly recommended by bee)

misc: my mom wanted to take a sailing class but didn't want to do it alone so she offered to pay for me to come. sure, said i! i have never sailed! i like learning new skills! reader, it is So Fucking Hot Outside. the wind died and we had to get towed back to shore. the sun was so strong. there are so many ropes with all different names and they all Do Something. sunday's class got cancelled/rescheduled because the weather was That Bad (hot as fuck and no wind) so we're doing it probably friday instead (and saturday. and sunday. it's two weekends in a row of both days at 9am yayyyyy) but i just hope the weather is. better.

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

OUT TAKES FROM 2800ft

NORMALLY I JUST DELETE THESE ENTIRELY but in the directors commentary for 2800ft I make a lot of references to the BDSM draft of the fic and I FOUND SOME OF THEM so here they are entirely unedited because it felt like a waste, a thing I have LITERALLY NEVER THOUGHT BEFORE IN MY LIFE

I'm still so sad the BDSM didn't end up suiting the tone of the fic, but I am glad I removed it. There was going to be a whole bit where Hux reached into his pocket to feel the key for bens collar as the plane when down, but i think the fic stands better on it's own

HAVE THESE ANYWAY FUCKERS

(edit: I'm going through my document conflicts on scrivener and I found a few more so I'm pasting them at the bottom but ur not getting fomating on these bc I'm lazy)

6/9/22 St. Louis, Missouri The Organa-Solo Residence

"You're insane," Ben says as the front door closes behind him. "You know that, right?" "I see you got my request," Hux replies, looking up from his book. He's been reading on the couch since he got home, waiting for Ben to land. "Tell me you didn't actually get this notarized." He holds up the piece of paper Hux slipped into his bag a few days ago, in anticipation of the event. "It's a remarkably cheap fee," Hux tells him, setting his book aside. "There's a limit on how much notaries can charge in Missouri, if it's a financial concern." Ben stares at him before reading the paper aloud. "A formal request of Ben Organa-Solo, made by Armitage Organa-Solo, to be fulfilled on June 9th, 2022," he starts. "If both parties are amendable, and schedules align, in celebration of the national holiday, Mr. and Mr. Organa-Solo will-" Ben stops, setting the paper down on the entryway table. "A formal request for sex?" Hux takes in the flush of Ben's cheeks, the hand toying with his hair. He's not furious, he's just embarrassed, but if the pace of his breathing is any indication- He stands, coming to meet Ben at the door. "You don't know what to be mad about, do you?" Hux asks, loving how Ben's head tilts downward, his eyes half-lidded. "You weren't expecting it, but it's within all out limits, and-" It comes to Hux, then. "You're not upset at all, you're just surprised." His hand comes to Ben's neck, pressing his thumb into the tense muscles and letting his fingers dig in between vertebrae. "Do you need a moment to adjust?" Ben shakes is head, so Hux steps closer, putting himself firmly into Ben's personal space. A soft hand on Ben's chest is all it takes to have him against the door, strong hands clenching at his sides listlessly. "You can touch me," Hux tells him, and his hips are held in a loose grip. "I'm sorry I surprised you. I thought we had done enough things similar, that it wouldn't be too much of a shock." Ben mutters something, and Hux uses a finger to tilt his chin up. "What was that?" "I thought you had a lawyer write it," Ben admits. "It sounded more formal than you normally are, in these things. I-" Words seem to fail him as his flush moves from his checks down to his neck. "The notary on top of that was a lot of strangers knowing I was going to suck your dick." "I tried a new style," Hux says. "I've been reading a few books on contract law in my spare time, thought it would be fine to try out. The notary was a half-asleep woman at the post office, she didn't even bother to read the document. Just had me sign it and her coworker witness it." He pauses. "Did you like that they might know?" "Didn't like it, how much I liked it." Ben draws a breath, letting his head roll back against the wall. "It's infuriating, wanting people to know what you do to me, all while refusing to let them see." "Private exhibition," Hux says. "Well, theoretical, more like." He pauses, wrapping his arms around Ben's shoulders. "I'll keep that in mind, but you haven't submitted a reply to my request." Ben laughs, leaning into him. "Request approved," he says. "Although I refuse to grant it holiday status." "National Day of Sixty-nining is sacred," Hux replies, pulling Ben from the door to lead him towards the bedroom.

-

10/07/22 St. Louis, Missouri The Organa-Solo Residence

"And he has no idea?" Hux rolls his eyes at Poe, taking the cake out of the freezer so it can thaw on the counter. In their small living room, most of their friends are gathered, drinks in hand and broken off into conversation circles. Phasma is asking Rey about Charlotte, Mitaka is meeting Finn as someone outside of the airport, and not just another employee he passes coffee to, and Han and Leia are having an unsurprisingly delightful time telling stories of Ben as a teenager to anyone who will listen. "I told him I was working, and that we were booked on fights, so I wouldn't have time to come down and see him, but I gave him specific instructions, and-" "I can't stress how much I don't need to know about your sex life," Poe says, cutting him off. "They weren't sexual," Hux huffs. It's an absolute lie, though. The instructions were incredibly sexual, but they were also meant to start the party a few hours later, and instead everyone started showing up early. Hux will just have to make up the disappointment to Ben later. It wouldn't be the longest Ben has handled social interaction with a cage on. Besides, Ben has his own key to it for emergencies. If he wanted, he could take it off while he changed, and Hux would understand. "I hate you so much," Poe whines, pulling Hux away from his thoughts. "Both of you, honestly." Hux shrugs. "Not my fault you're boring in bed." They leave the kitchen and the conversation behind as Hux hears a car door slam outside. "All right, I'm gonna meet him outside, everybody hide." And he does, steps onto the porch. He's supposed to be at work, but he's not so cruel as to allow Ben to completely embarrass himself. He's just smart enough to do it without a paper trail. "You're-" "Act surprised," he whispers. "They all thought this was a great idea, and showed up at our house without consulting me, but your parents flew in, and you know I feel bad saying no to them." "I hate surprises," Ben mutters, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I know, but I couldn't get away to call you. It was supposed to start at six, I was going to tell you when you got home, after-" he looks down, and Ben curses. "Up to you." "Not in front of my parents," he says. "Jesus, I'm gonna need a second." "Buying you time won't be hard, I haven't pulled the cake. I'll vamp." And then Hux is opening the door, ushering Ben in and watching as someone turns on the lights and their friends and family pop out from behind pieces of furniture. They sing happy birthday, and then Hux sends Ben to the bedroom to change and asks Han to tell the story of when Ben broke his window trying to move his bed. It's at least a ten minute story, and a good one, so no one will notice if Ben takes a moment longer to change than strictly necessary.

It's not until later, when guests are shooed away and they lay in bed, covered in sweat and fluids, that Ben curls into his chest. "I love you," Ben says, pressing idle kisses to his skin. "I just- Used to have to deal with their terrible ideas for my birthday alone. They'd get a cake everyone liked, instead of the one I wanted, they'd try to make me invite the whole class. I know they just wanted me to have friends, but it was awful. I didn't stop hating my birthday until I moved out." "It's the least I can do, given your agreement to entirely ignore mine." He runs fingers through long hair, pressing lips to the top of Ben's head. "Next year, I'm just forcing them to bend to my will, but I thought one year in was too soon to become your controlling spouse." Ben laughs, breath warm against his skin, and the arm hanging over Ben's shoulder pulls him closer. "You've always been controlling," Ben tells him. "Luckily for you, I'm pretty into that."

-

Smaller outtakes:

From the scene where they're heading to ikea:

“It should be the Malm,” Ben insists, because apparently, their earlier discussion about which bed frame to buy wasn’t finished. “It’s not practical,” Hux says, and then lowers his voice, “there’s no place to tie on that headboard, and I’m not buying under the be straps.” The red tinge that takes over Ben’s cheeks is well worth his own discomfort at bringing up their sex life in public. “So not the Malm,” Ben mutters, and Hux smiles into his drink. “You’re both gross,” Mitaka yells across the empty Starbucks. The early flights are only just starting, the line for security not yet backed up by the entrance. Hux flips him off as Ben’s skin returns to its normal color.

This scene was replaced by 5/30/21 take 2, which i think was a better scene because 'airport might get a bird dog' felt too on the nose

His feet are tucked under Ben’s thighs, still freezing despite the chill outside. It’s the start of a long weekend for both of them, three days where neither of them have any reason to be at the airport. Normally, this was cause for a trip, but spring cleaning had overtaken both of them the last few days. Now, with the last cobwebs and remnants of winter cleared from the apartment, they settle into a calm evening. “I heard the airport is thinking about getting a bird dog,” Hux says idly, not looking up from his tablet. Ben’s eyes are closed, his head lolled onto the back of the sofa, but his breathing is still relatively shallow. “If nothing else, the social media team is excited to have someone who won’t say no to their ridiculous video ideas.” Hux may still be bitter about being asked to join a group photo for Saint Patrick’s Day, even after he told the man three times that being ginger did not automatically make him Irish. “A dog on the ground isn’t going to prevent bird strikes in the air,” Ben grumbles, sitting up and blinking his eyes open. “I’m not sure it’s the best way for the airport to spend it’s money.” “Studies say otherwise,” he retorts, but lets the matter die. “And what would you have them spend money on?” Ben laughs, some joke Hux isn’t privy to. “No, really, what can they buy for the cost of a dog that would make you happier?” “They could just give you that money, and I’d be fine.” Rolling his eyes, he closes out of his email and sets his tablet aside to crawl into Ben’s lap. Any edges of sleep vanish, as do conversations of work.