#doubt I'll sleep but still | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pope-posts · 1 year ago

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Have a good night, lovelies. Spam y'all with posts tomorrow night 😴

#popes posts #doubt I'll sleep but still #have a good night everyone #text #mine #me #text post

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rorydrawsandwrites · 1 month ago

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Ribbun week: "Alternate Universe" (Hedonism City) + "Plushies"

Wanted to post this before the new ep aired. Updated Ginnie's look in light of her new mask in canon - I think she looks cute enough. Had a great time turning her into a marketable plushie.

#✏️ rory draws #Jax what are you saying. you've fucked this woman #(but lowkey think he'd still be the type to go “eww cooties” at tender little smooches)#tadc jax #tadc gangle #hedonism city au #tadc au #ribbun week #ribbunweek2024 #ribbun #hedonism city ginnie #hedonism city jax #I didn't add the “Ribbun 2024” label bc I am. Tired #and because it would've been a hassle to copy since I did it weird on like three different layers #it gets messy man #tomorrow I'll watch the ep. I need to be sharp in mind and soul to take it all in. besides I doubt I could sleep directly after watching #(it's coming out at midnight here)#can't wait to see what our freak of a babygirl will get up to #oh and also Ragatha taking drugs

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vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago

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my capacity to see a bad fandom take and just blithely say 'okay! I disagree' internally and move on because it's not my responsibility or concern that someone else thinks that has leveled up so tremendously over the years. I haven't quite escaped the pit of misery yet but I think I'm getting there

#the ability to say to oneself 'it's okay if you don't agree with me'#(and possibly adding a quiet bitchy 'I can't force you to be right' at the end if you're annoyed enough lol)#at seeing a bad take without ever internalizing it any deeper than that... indispensible.#if someone is really unpleasantly vitriolic or reactive about it I'll just block and move on. and never think about them again #a gift for me and for them I'm sure! but as long as people are being civil I'm getting pretty good at just going 'alright.#I think you're wrong but it's your prerogative to think that. away from me preferably but still'#when I was younger I always felt like a more negative take must be more valid/see something I didn't but over time (and a lot of therapy)#that kneejerk self-doubt is a lot easier to get through. sometimes. people are wrong! to me and my experience. and that's alright #if nothing else understand your own limitations in ever changing someone's mind for them and let it go lol #when I feel the real badfeels at a shitty take now I know it's just because I'm tired and threadbare and need to sleep haha #sometimes mental health progress is sooooo... boring and low-key but also brings so much relief #like doing admin work up here. *sees something so dumb I feel dizzy* file that shit under 'not my problem' and move on chief

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gardensnakie · 2 months ago

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How’s life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3

Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.

#my father is upset today too cause I couldn't hang out with him #I talked to a social worker at school a few days ago just for check in and in my opinion I still feel bad even talking to her #it's been a rough week and I'm not sure what to do except deal with it and move on #I like to draw still #I dont want to get tired of it #I mean at least I'm doing productive things like laundry and showering #I'm gonna have spaghetti today that's a good thing #I'll have clean sheets for my bed that's good too #I got presents a day earlier and that's good #I like listing the positives #It kinda gives me ideas for writing #I really wanna eat all these positive things i mean the feeling it gives me in itself #I really love the good things I don't ever want to lose them #I'm actually gonna try to make a doll bunny today #I got dug up old fabrics in my room so I can experiment with something new #I'd list more good things but I'd sound kinda weird doing that in the tags #I should probably journal again but my mind blanks when I try but I'll figure it out #I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet #I gotta practice that more often #There still a ways to go in life so obviously it'll change eventually it always does #And it's only one of many weeks so I can't be too doubtful #It can't always be the worst #Feeling the same feels awful #No matter the emotion it kinda turns numb if you feel it long enough #Days are always changing though since everybody is doing different things everyday all the time #Like most say 'it gets better' eventually #I guess I can wait for a good day #I have no choice sooo I'll let whatever happen #Well technically I can make it happen #I'll feel better when I made myself dinner and cleaned my bed and put away my laundry and put on fuzzy socks and go to sleep

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aaron-is-comatose · 3 months ago

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I saw a 12:34 on the clock just now, that was for you

#i don't think I'll ever not think about you when i see that on the clock #i doubt it wouldn't be the same for you #i hope you're doing okay:(#i hope you're holding your cats close and that theyre sleeping on you #i hope youre in your blankets and having sweet dreams #it's gonna be hard waking up tomorrow and not having spam from you like always #and i know it's gonna be hard for you to not have anything to send me anymore #im sorry moots who didn't sign up for me venting #i promise regular content will be coming soon i just need to be able to ramble about this :(#damn it i still wanna use their tag :(#sproutposting #i really miss them #i started this blog to post about them :(

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lesenbyan · 4 months ago

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The manic calculation of "I'm tired but if I sleep will I lose the mania? If I stay up all night with fatigue overpower it? Can I even go to bed? Do I need to listen to Lemon Drop 10000x?"

#personal;#new OCD song dropped this time feat: Aki vibes #i want to be not fucking exhausted when manic just fuckin Once it's been Ages and i used to be able to Do Things #now i just post and blather and feel my brain buzz and twitch and then the OCD ramps up #i've wanted to clean my room for a fuckin month #i need to change my sheets #i could make cookies TONIGHT instead of tomorrow #but no i am EXHAUSTED so i must just feel my brain [static but hyper]#and my ears ring #but! i can fix that with repeat 1 of lemon drop until i decide if i'mma sleep #one of these days i'll log on FB (gross) and pull the time i parodied the to be or not to be soliloquy to be to sleep or not to sleep #(my older brother replied to it 'too long; took a nap' which still tickles me and this was like. 2013ish)#manic posting;#lets see if i remember /that/ tag ever (doubt it)#lord i am bad at typing on my phone while.manic I can't make the thoughts slow and the typos are annoyingggggg #but i can't shut UP bc see above (manic)#hhhrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggg

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sherlock-is-ace · 4 months ago

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#i doubt i'll be able to sleep now because i am full or rage right now and i want to go murder my father #that said... i am feeling better than last night when i couldn't pinpoint my emotions lol #last night i was worried i wasn't sad/worried enough and thus not normal #tonight i'm planning murder so i know i can still feel shit sjnfjsg #anyways my entire body is boiling hot and my head hurts now so that's not fun but whatever #i wish death upon my father and my uncle can go eat shit too (although I have no proof to justify those feelings lol)#i have no family... none #my aunt and uncle from one side are the shittiest people i have ever met and their son is a monster #my father is the most pathetic little worm on the face of the earth who sometimes manages to conjure up feelings in me #feelings of hate and rage #my uncle on that side is another pathetic little useless man who doesn't really conjure up any feelings in me #my grandma is dying but even when she was alive she had what i can only assume were mental health problems which made her push everyone away #the rest of the grandparents are dead #the only woman in my family who had some amount of kindness and love was my grandma from my stupid ass father's side #and i sadly didn't appreciate her enough while she was living :/#that's it... the only loving kind and understanding people left are my mom and my brother...#it's us three against the fucking world huh?#fuck that's depressing...#anyways...#i'm gonna try to distract myself with other shit until I can't be awake anymore #fingers crossed that happens soon (and that i die in my sleep)#angel talks #personal

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incorrectpizza · 1 year ago

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📓

So, I have a SWR Modern AU that has lived rent free in my head for the past...four years? It's pretty self-indulgent (why the kriff would anyone have a journalism AU if they weren't obsessed with journalism?) and idk if it will ever get written for a large variety of reasons.

Hera's a journalist at Phoenix Press, a paper that does a lot of deep-dive, important investigative work on the corrupt government.

Kanan's an ex-con and her best informant. They get coffee every Friday morning, whether he has new intel or not. They are definitely not dating.

Zeb's a good cop in a world of very, very corrupt cops (including Kallus). He's friends with Hera, provides her with tips once in a while.

Sabine becomes the secretary/office assistant at Phoenix Press after her parents kick her out for refusing to take up a military career and instead pursuing art/photography/writing.

Ezra's a street rat who Kanan sends Hera's way because he knows she needs a paper boy who can sneak around and hand-deliver newspapers.

Chopper's a stray cat who's decided Hera's his mom. She rolls with it.

Sabine moves in with Hera shortly after she signed up for the job. Her parents aren't willing to finance her college education if she's not in ROTC, which completely conflicted with Painting II. She takes a few classes on the side while working on office management/chaos control.

Next to move in is Zeb. He crashes on Hera's couch after being kicked out of the police department.

Then Ezra comes into the picture. Hera finds him a bunk bed so he doesn't have to sleep on the streets.

Cue an 11 p.m. call from Officer Kallus at the police station saying there's a very drunk Kanan Jarrus there who says Hera Syndulla will pick him up. Zeb gets kicked off the couch and onto the other bunk.

And that's how the entire Ghost crew ends up living in Hera's apartment, fighting bad government and facism with words rather than war.

(Ezra has a meet-cute crush on Sabine that diminishes the same as canon but is it gone forever? Who knows)

(Oh Ahsoka's the editor of the paper and Bail's the publisher)

(Not many other characters' roles are decided)

(ALSO the sleeping arrangements in the apartment are. So stupid. And it takes until Hera's pregnant with Jacen for Kanan to move into her room and off the couch)

#There are SO MANY scenes from this AU that live rent free in my head #but I doubt I'll ever write them lol I am NOT one to commit to longfics #still #there's some funny moments #like the time that Hera finds a tabloid about her and Kanan and gets FURIOUS #“they claim I'm kriffing my informant in the newsroom! I'm sleeping with my HUSBAND in the apartment ABOVE the newsroom”

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daz4i · 11 months ago

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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend

#lovebombing won't work on me i will automatically assume there is an ulterior motive there #i may be off on what it is. but i won't trust it either anyway #(joking btw ik i'm not immune to abuse tactics. that's actually part of why i'm vigilant to all that i think)#(but not only)#i think my main issue is i know in my heart these things can't be right. the bigger the compliment the less i believe it #bc i'm below average and so is anything i create. propping it (and me) up as smth unique feels disingenuous #in my heart i do want this like i wanna be told nice things but they usually make me feel worse lol #bc i still think i'm shit and now i feel like i can't trust that person either.#(still. if someone is mean to me or even just harsh instead. i will cry)#also while this is already very deep and digging into my core the next tags are gonna dig into therapy level deepness lol #i think this is actually why i only want ppl to be sexually attracted to me honestly #smth abt it being like. a physical reaction. makes it easier to believe for me #also smth you can express smth you can do to prove it beyond just saying words #(i will sometimes still doubt it when i have a steady partner of any sort lol like i'll ask if they just indulge me or actually want it)#which is why it's fucking me up sm that i'm getting uglier 🥲 i'm already not great - being trans and fat limits a lot of your options - but #things are getting even worse lol 🥲 who knew that was even possible #all this isn't really a very good base to stop hating yourself. so my self loathing is only getting worse every day #thus making any good word harder to believe. and the cycle continues #. yknow when i started typing this post i did not expect to go on for this long #i am on these sleeping pills that make me lose my filter i'm sorry ��#vent

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geddy-leesbian · 1 year ago

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partied hard last night. woke up with a chocolate chip melted on my boob

#i was so lost in the sauce last night #i wasnt like High high but i had taken my sleep med and i was in this weird state where i couldn't quite fall asleep #but wasnt rlly awake either. just tossing and turning trying to read reddit posts bc it wss all i was awake enough for #i also listened to the voodoo house and had an epiphany that it's hotel california if it was hornier #like 'you can sign in to the voodoo house but you won't sign out'#also was thinking abt how that song is basically the normal one on the album until i listened a few times and was like #wait this is the song w the lyric 'bring the head of John the baptist and all his doubts and I'll open up the doors of the voodoo house'#so like it's normal if you compare it to the rest of the album but it does still have a random lil reference to religion and decapitation #rick springfield was truly insane in 2018

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dykethang · 1 year ago

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everyone in this hospital thinks i am insane for leaving my curtains open at night but like. why wouldn't i. i'm 2 stories up looking over the park and a nice road. i can carwatch. why Wouldn't I

#mari txt #fun fact btw. some IV antibiotics taste sweet when they get put through the IV #(specifically augmentin for me. it tastes very horribly sweet. i do not enjoy this.)#but if it stops the whole 'they thought it might be sepsis' thing then i'll take it #i doubt it's sepsis just cause i'm still bitching on the internet lol #i'm sure i wouldn't be if it were #i AM sleeping like 13-15hrs a day though and my blood pressure is shot #and i think my labs were a bit deranged. so we'll see #i felt so good post surgery otherwise. evil.

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waterfallofspace · 2 years ago

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Hello. I am here to say that I am still absolutely insanely out of my mind every time I think about or rewatch D/abi's dance scene.

I know I haven't written him yet, but I absolutely will, and my love for him runs deep. But I just wanted to say that the image of him peering through his hair has been stuck in my head and I am losing it.