cat (or whatever, ask) | it/its/ia | 24 | queer & disabled | māori/pākehā
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We looked inside some of the posts by dykethang and here's what we found interesting.
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736K
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393K
Reblog Per Post
343K
Reply Per Post
817
Time Between Posts
3 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
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17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
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why am i disability depressed. like i know Why but it feels ridiculous. why am i all sad and pathetic over a disability i have always had and have always understood to be this way.
i guess i'm frustrated because no matter what i do in terms of preventative measures, eventually my body deteriorates anyway. i am active, i often walk 10km+ a day. one of the kindest and most beneficial things you can do for my disability is to keep your joints strong. That Is Key. and i'm already privileged in this aspect because i CAN sustain the physical activity required for this, for the most part! until i can't. until the degenerative nature of a degenerative disability bites me in the ass and no amount of hard work can reverse it. it's fucking depressing.
i do not think using mobility aids is depressing however for me a regression into needing a higher level of support, despite significant effort to prevent this, IS fucking depressing. each time i cannot predict if it will be permanent this time! and as i get older it becomes more and more likely that it WILL be because each time there's more damage behind it! i just want my hard work to cure me. or at least keep me at a functional level. and it doesn't.
#.txt#i have absolutely been in denial for a good year which didn't help either#and keeping my joints healthy doesn't stop my internals from disintegrating#which is also getting worse as i get older and does scare me honestly#brought to you by getting my wheelchair fixed because i unfortunately need it again#and cannot sustain telling myself that if i can walk 10km then i'm fine#the aftermath of that walk is often crawling through my very small studio flat because i cannot walk safely#i wear hiking boots everywhere because they keep me upright and relatively stable#i do everything i'm meant to and more#and it's literally just not enough. my body is a series of cascading failures#and the nature of it and the severity for me means i cannot stop the progression#just slow it down a bit. maybe have some stability for a year before it crumbles again :(#i hate it here man
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IMMEDIATELY followed by icarus - bastille. bro
just got take me to church-ed on my walk by the mix i'm listening to :(
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just got take me to church-ed on my walk by the mix i'm listening to :(
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It's hard to get close to me because of my big knife
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Chris Long, Snow Midnight, 2025, Oil on cradled wood panel
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the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot
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one thing i don't think people w/o bipolar specifically Get is like. i can never just feel good. if i feel good then my hackles are raised because the line between "i'm doing lots of things, healthily, because i feel good" and "i'm doing lots of things because i feel good but i'm actually just on the upswing to mania" is atrociously thin and i never Know. and it sucks
#.txt#like i genuinely cant tell atm. i wouldn't be surprised if i'm on an upswing#because i was sick recently and ran so many fevers that it deffo fucked my lithium levels#but for now i'm still sleeping. it's harder to fall asleep and i fall asleep much later but i AM sleeping#its just devastating to like. make some positive changes in my life and be left wondering if itll all change when i'm coming back down#i hope im not manic this time i take my lithium pretty consistently :(#i hope i just feel good. i really do
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#slightly better probably#and maybe i could get qualified as a forensic psych#it was criminal minds btw
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Reblog and put in the tags if you can remember where you got the shirt you’re currently wearing.
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I think being afraid of becoming 25 can be combated by like literally hanging out w people of all age groups and realizing that they too have personalities and hopes and dreams and goals and life is not over for you at like 30
#me when ill be 25 this year and im generally the oldest in all my uni classes#but then last year there was an elderly woman in my māori culture class#and she started off super like. racist in the way people of her age tend to be#like. not to excuse it or anything but the whole 'when i was growing up' etc etc#and by the end of the semester she'd come a ridiculously long way#and it was really nice :) i helped her with computer stuff sometimes because she like#still wrote absolutely everything longhand type of deal. it was cool
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these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook
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these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook
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these are my 16 kids, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king, bishop, knight, and rook
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party rockers in their bed tonight. every body just have a good night
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