#doomsday mom

[destielmemenews]

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[mockvangelical]

[misscatholmes]

They made a movie about Lori Vallow and it's starring Riley Finn? And Lara?

[silver-horse]

guys I felt genuine fear in my stomach while reading this tweet...

[ballpitwizard]

the icarly writers really missed out by forgetting they made spencer an artist because in reality he would be a part of the greater seattle polycule and that's already a good set up for spencer-related hijinks

[possumsinpeoplesuits]

Just so y'all know, it's always okay to make fun of bootlicker imitation yeehaw.

If some lifted truck in the city only thing country about them is the country club all hat no cattle motherfucker wearing clean boots who can't handle anything spicier than a saltine with social circle with an much diversity as a pack of printer paper and a hard on for police intervention starts talking about living in the country, you do what I do:

Give them weathering tips for their LARPing gear and point them in the direction of some acting lessons, because they're not convincing anyone.

Every time the southern US comes up, 90% of the insults are just making fun of the poor and the disenfranchised as if the people hunting squirrel in trailer parks while leaving the expensive private school vanity ranch estate folks completely untouched.

Now go on, do your duty for Queen (the band) and country (Dolly Parton) and heckle those fuckers like you're Statler and Waldorf from the god damn Muppet show because that's the amount of respect they deserve.

[the-haunted-office]

"Memories of Sorrow" For Doomsday? :3c

Upon touching my Muse, Your’s is suddenly thrown into one of Mine’s Tragic and Painful Memories, Send “Memories of Sorrow” to see a painful and tragic memory of My Muse..

Doomsday had just been handing over the keys to the yacht they'd just stolen, ready to let Butch take this one for a spin, when their fingers brushed and the memory transfer occurred.

To Doom, it feels like a few seconds where it's like she can feel Butch inside her head, and that's it. But to Butch, it's a lot more than that - he actually ends up inside her head.

And what he finds when he gets there are piles of laundry. Lots them. Everywhere. Mixed clean and dirty, although some of them have been sorted through.

There are lot more mixed piles than sorted ones, Butch might notice if he looks for long enough.

The one right next to him is mixed, and piled high, and sitting right on top of it is burgundy zip-up sweater, which falls over the moment he tries to step away, and pulls him into the pile, into a memory.

There is what is quite obviously the body of a woman lying on the bed in a warm room. Two funeral workers are fussing with a cart next to the woman's body, while on the bed next to the body, Butch is watching. For some reason, even though these workers are clearly preparing to take the body away, Butch is refusing to move away from the body.

In his mind, he knows who this body is - or once was. Mom.

The two workers reach over and grab the body by the ankles and under the armpits, ready to haul her away, when one of them looks up, directly at Butch, says, "You might want to leave the room for this."

Butch shakes his head, says, "No," but it's not his voice that comes out of his mouth, it's Doomsday's. And that's when he might realize whose memory he is currently viewing, and whose body he is currently in.

The worker doesn't say anything back to Butch/Doomsday, just goes along with her job, handling Doomsday's mother that was breathing just a few hours before. Laughing just a few weeks ago. Up moving around just a few weeks before that. Making plans for the summer months before that. Cooling and moving disjointedly now, only as it is manipulated by the strong hands of the gloved employees.

Butch/Doomsday watches from a fort of pillows and blankets on the bed where Doom's mother just was, watches as they transfer her mother to the gurney, strap her onto it, raise it, tilt it. Watches as her mother’s head flops over on its neck, lifelessly, spilling curly dark brown hair sideways, and for a ridiculous half second Butch/Doomsday thinks it’s going to hurt her, wants to leap up and tell them to be more gentle, but she doesn’t. Why? She’s dead. She can’t feel anything anymore, not even her head flopping around like it’s barely connected to the rest of her.

Butch/Doomsday feels sickened, it's a feeling Butch might recognize as that of Doomsday's, and he might also feel her stop the feeling right there, and compartmentalize it. Put it away for later. It has nowhere else to go, and it doesn’t change anything. She stops it all, pushes it all down, because now isn’t the time.

They begin hauling her mother down the stairs and Butch/Doomsday finally gets up off the bed and follows, then cuts around them once they pause at the landing. Butch/Doomsday peeks her head around the corner, informs her brothers and step father and all the rest of the gawking family who have gathered to give their shallow condolences (“She’s in a better place now. God needed her more in heaven.” Fuck you and your god, Butch can hear Doomsday say in her thoughts) that they’re bringing her down.

They all turn away.

Butch/Doomsday does not.

Butch/Doomsday walks with her mother to the hearse, watches as they load her in, drive off with her. The neighbors are watching too, but she doesn’t notice. She goes back inside to listen with numb ears to more condolences from tone deaf tongues while her brother and step father sit there quietly, taking condolences but leaving all the work to her.

Fine. She's used to all this anyway.

The memory starts to break apart then, words of IT'S ALL UNFAIR SHE NEVER HAD A CHANCE WHY DON'T YOU GO TO YOUR BETTER PLACE YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT SAVE YOUR CROCODILE TEARS IT'S ALL BULLSHIT IT'S ALL FUCKING BULLSHIT just keep spitting out, pure fury, mixed with sorrow, but mostly fury, on repeat, clawing at Butch as he falls out of the memory, and then out of Doom's mind, and back into his own skin.

Doom blinks at him as she lets go of the keys, assuming he's got a grip on them. "Huh. Hmmm..." she trails off, momentarily confused by what just happened. "...Not sure what that was all about. This might sound kind of odd, but were just inside my head? Hope you didn't see anything totally fucked up in there, ehehehe."

[astral-catastrophe]

Anyway can someone please distract me for a bit?

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Wait. Wait. Do the raw milk fuckos think boiling the milk adds some sort of dreaded "chemical?" and by "chemical" I mean, "They just say chemical or toxin when they need an excuse to feel victimized when other people say shit like hey that could literally kill you maybe don't do that."

Like. I mean, I know the crunchy crazies are a wild ride but if you think boiling milk takes something away you need, do you stop boiling other things???

"Gayle, it's the cognitive dissonance. There is no reason here."

I KNOW BUT STILL.

The raw milk people don’t even know what raw milk is

[saintdollanganger]

they voted me "most likely to be indoctrinated into a cult" four years in a row in highschool

[mockvangelical]

On the same frequency. God speaks. Everything’s fine.

[arolesbianism]

I just realized I don't think I ever posted Egretpaw's design here and that's an absolute crime. Look at my boy

[spice-ghouls]

[ID: a tweet from @JamColley. It reads: "Instead of a Plus One you should get a Minus One. When you enter a party you get to choose one person who has to go home." End ID.]

[eleu22]

What Task Force 141’s Houses Would Look Like

John Price

- he lives in a cabin I cannot be convinced otherwise.

- very rustic, defo goes fishing or hunting for fun in his spare time

- likes to be away from the city

- its maximalist in kind of an organised chaos way he can find whatever he need’s immediately but to anyone else it looks kind of insane

- he’d be cleaner if he lived with someone - but yaknow #singledad

- very homey, warm vibes

- if the apocalypse ever hit you’d wanna be here, it’s decked out, secluded, he’s a bit of a doomsday prepper

- has once pissed outside to ‘mark his territory’ but you couldn’t torture that information out of him

- defo has that one room that is mysteriously locked and refuses to elaborate on when asked about it (Gaz secretly thinks it’s really cool) (it probably just has his fishing gear)

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

- very chic, cool tones

- screams “I did economy as an A-Level but I use pinterest”

- probably has had some type of dinner party with the 141 just to subtly flex to them that “in another life I was an interior designer”

- also defo cooks something with wine just, again to subtly flex his culture capital (he just wants some approval guys bless him)

- plant father - cannot be convinced otherwise

- very organised, keeps it pretty clean unless he’s feeling lazy which isn’t very often

- definitely has a record player - do not mention it or he will go on about how it “just sounds better” (with Price in the background nodding in agreement - but in an old man way)

- somewhere has a box of stuff that doesn’t fit his aesthetic but it’s shit he needs to keep anyways

John “Soap Mactavish

- messy as fuck, no rhyme or reason to it he just puts stuff down, forgets its there and thats just where it lives now COUGH man-child COUGH

- puts some of his drawings up on his walls

- defo has a comic book collection and some action figures

- bunch of childhood shit he refuses to throw away - criminal hoarder

- he likes the messy kind of boyish charm it has, every time his mom comes over she scolds him for it

- a bunch of stuff he’s collected from different places he’s gone, he’ll usually grab some stuff while on deployment if he has any free time, like snow globes or whatever

- went to Greece once and got one of those wooden dicks and finds it so funny, he says it’s the living room’s ‘conversation piece’

- he’s pretty clean when on base aswell, it’s just without the millitary’s structure or someone literally forcing him to clean up he doesn’t really care - it’s his house anyways

Simon “Ghost” Riley

- um

- yikes

- yeah you can tell he doesn’t really like spending time at home on leave

- the singular chair infront of the tv is so sad

- king of minimalism - if that’s what you wanna call it ig

- doesn’t bother decorating or getting anything past the bare essentials because what’s the point?

- doesn’t care it’s a shithole, he can afford a better house, but it kind of reminds him of home back in Manchester (crying)

- definitely chain smokes in his bathroom

- he’s got a treadmill there somewhere

- has a box full of his family’s belongings under his bed (crying again)

- no mirrors, only a small one in the bathroom to shave

- only item of decoration is a snow globe Soap gave him once, it sits next to his bed

[charlesoberonn]

Phineas and Ferb episode idea: After Candace shows her photos of all of her brothers’ creations, Linda thinks that her daughter is a talented graphic artist and signs her up for a competition. Candace is frustrated and about to tell her mom the truth but then Jeremy shows up and he’s like “Wow, Candace, I didn’t know you were a graphic designer. That’s so cool. Btw, my little sister is also gonna be at the graphic design competition.”

Long story short, Candace asks her brothers to help her become a graphic artist for real so she could beat Suzie.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz has gotten tired of designing -Inators so he designed the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator to design them for him. The Inator’s creation are a hit among other Evil Scientists who buy them in droves. Doofenshmirtz is then signed by Vanessa to an Evil Contracption Designing competition (held in the same building at the same time as the graphic design competition, of course).

Desperate, he asks Perry the Platypus to help him get his mojo back so he could design -Inators again.

Cue musical montage of Doof and Candace training to learn/relearn their respective art form.

It’s the competition(s). Candace is a nervous wreck, but Jeremy believes in her. Doof is all self-assured and ego-boosted by everyone thinking he’ll win, but then he sees his Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator (who looks like a robotic him) also signed up for the competition.

While getting ready for the competition, Perry is accidentally almost spotted by Phineas and Ferb. He sneaks behind the curtain to the behind the scenes. That’s when he discovers that the goal of the competition is to design a doomsday weapon. Nervous, he swaps the cards with those of the graphic design competition.

The competition begins. The graphic artists are assigned to design a doomsday weapon while the Evil Scientists are assigned to design a cool band poster.

The scientists are baffled, but they do their best. The Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is stuck because it’s physically incapable of drawing anything but Inators.

Meanwhile in the graphic design competition Candace does her best but her brain goes blank. Suzie meanwhile is trying to sabotage her by switching her card back with the card from the other tournament. Unfortunately it’s the card of the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator, who now goes to task designing a Doomsday weapon.

The competition is finished. Candace’s work is mediocre, but she wins by technicality for being the only one who drew the correct thing.

Meanwhile at the Evil Scientists competition, the scientists all drew terrible posters except Doof whose poster is beautiful. He’s about to be declared the winner but then the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator reveals what it’s been working on, a doomsday machine. Everyone panics, and Perry the Platypus tries to stop the machine, but fails. Then the machine ticks down to 0, and nothing happens.

Turns out the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is terrible at coming up with machines. All of its Inators don’t work. Which unfortunately for Doof results in all of his previously happy customers showing up to complain because their Inators didn’t work either. He asks Perry to help him again, but Perry is already gone.

“There you are, Perry.” “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”

Despite winning, Candace feels hollow because she only won by technicality and all of the other designers were much better than her. She feels like a fraud. But then Jeremy shows up and asks to buy the rights for her poster, because he thinks it’s really cool. Candace is happy.

The End.

[the-haunted-office]

👂  ─  develop enhanced hearing

Thursday or Doomsday!

@katsuko-rp-blog

Doomsday is minding her own business, not doing anything particularly out of the ordinary, just hanging out around the Office trying to deciding which wall she wants to put some holes in next, when her ears do this sort of popping thing and all at once everything is loud as fuck.

She's so startled she drops the sledgehammer she was holding to the floor with an enormous crash and she claps her hands over her ears and complains loudly.

"AGGGHHH! Okay! Now who's gone and fucked with my hearing?! I already got put into somebody else's body in another thread, and now this?! STOP MESSING WITH MEEEEE!" she screeches, kicks a large hole in the wall, regrets it immediately as... well, that was unnecessarily loud, huffs, and goes off to hide in the broom closet.