#doomed yuri got me fucked up <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ptanalo]

something something worship

[mango-dolphin]

playing a game with myself called "inventing a man and scaring myself with it"

Note: Not all of these predictions are meant to be taken literally, more figuratively/metaphorically/so on. You get it. Note 2: lighter the text, the more likely i think it is to be (in part or in full) true

ALSO. thank you @maxknightleyunofficial for the yuri box.

bingo transcribed below [with additional Author's notes!]:

Limbus Company Predictions

Row 1:

Sinner Number correlates to recruitment order. (Which, yes, would imply Dante joined LCB before Sinclair, Outis, and Gregor. No points)

Another character based on a poet (or philosopher) is introduced. HM: Ovid SWEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meursault's source material is his backstory: he works for the LCB because they saved him from the death penalty

The E.G.O gear the Sinners are attuned to all corrode because the gear or their attunements are imperfect. As in: your LC nuggets got that good shit [because the LCB doesn't have Cogito & can't manufacture E.G.O gear: the Sinners have to "connect" to the Abnormality instead, however that works] / are better [than the LCB Sinners]

The psychosis warning is for multiple Cantos and/or side stories, but one of the Cantos needing that warning is Meursault's.

Row 2:

Sinclair goes tree mode. I will not explain any further.

Limbus Company wants to be the new L Corp, or at least be continually influencial to whoever takes the spot.

The Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil; [it will be] a constant theme. Dante cannot "eat" (the apple), and thus is not "doomed to die" like the Sinners.** **The Sinners are named thus because they "partook" in the fruit: these moments, from blissful yet tormentous naivete to a sudden sinful upheaval, are highlighted in their Cantos. Gregor's was cutting the apple (crossing the boundary from child to war machine); Rodion's was killing the tax collector (her desire to be a hero completely upended by her actions leading to the deaths of all her neighbors); Sinclair's was following Kromer / letting her into his life (specifically allowing Kromer into his basement and witnessing The Horrors)... **This could imply LCB as the serpent in the garden, but more than anything, Dante is Eve. [Iori could also be the serpent she's got the range. swagever. It'd be funny.] HM: Or even worse, the opposite is true.

Sinners will get upgraded versions of their base E.G.Os; These versions have relation to the shadows cast in their E.G.O portrait.

Ishmael's white whale is a Library of Ruina character.

Row 3:

Faust's Faustian Bargain is classically straightforward: she "sold her soul" for knowledge. HM: The Devil in this exchange is the LCB.

Outis is in the middle of her years-long Odyssey as we speak. HM: It's why she's one of the last Sinners

Purgatorio & Paradiso

Outis, Don Quixote, and Hong Lu are using fake names

Dante (prior to the events of the game) has been on the Outskirts of the City, or even left City limits. HM: They're from outside the city

Row 4:

Gregor is an abnormality / abnormality-like; Hermann's "gift" to him is that. [Honestly he'd be one in the same way Tomerry is, but further than that? He's more than just a genetically modified soldier is what I'm trying to get at.]

Iori

^ HM: Lion, Panther, and Wolf were sent to Dante as a test. [Idk what kind of test it'd be. Trust me.]

At least one Sinner will Distort, and possibly multiple Likely Hong Lu, Ryoshu, Rodion, Heathcliff, Faust, or Meursault. Don seems obvious.* *Colors are likelihoods, not pairs. Though I don't see it likely that they all will distort UNLESS SOMETHING FUCKING HAPPENS *ADDITIONAL hard mode (so hard it's mode): Meursault Distorted before joining Limbus

the golden boughs are the remnants of Carmen's body or essence / the byproduct of the Seed of Light. [That's NERVOUS SYSTEM, baybee!]

Dante goes to Paradiso alone / with only Vergilius (I forgot how it went :( idr if Dante Dante's Inferno went up there alone)

Row 5:

Something bad happened to Gregor's sister :( HM: She's still alive. This is a bad thing. [Leaving my wording vague here on purpose.]

Marie (L'Étranger) is in the Blue Team (with Demian); Gretchen (Faust) is in the Red Team (with Hermann). Gretchen switches teams? [Honestly likely Faust hasn't encountered Gretchen either!]

There is yuri moments and maybe even yaoi moments (not Yuri) SINCLAIR. Yi Sang, Outis, Ishmael, Meursault, Outis again, Hong Lu, HM: Outis Wife Penelope

Angela.

Dante knew Carmen

[jjs-brainrot]

Alright, still got a few more final episodes left to watch from this season, but it's finally time to start looking ahead to what the next season will bring.

So looking at the previews for the Fall 2024 Anime season, it's seems like a sequel heavy season. Lots of big name shows getting continuations and even a handful of big name remakes. With that being said, there's definitely some interesting looking new shows on the horizon as well.

Continuations:

Shangri-La Frontier S2: I need my 3 dork gamer buddies who will simultaneously be the most toxic motherfuckers to each other while being the most supportive friends possible back already… I need my queen Pencil-kun who fully embodies "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" with everything she does and whom is a doomed yuri survivor…

Natsume's Book of Friends S7: My boi with zero self-preservation skills and whose first instinct in every situation is self-destructive self-sacrifice (regardless of how necessary that is for the situation) is finally back! And his fat cat/fox too!

Sengoku Youko S2: While the quality has been more up and down compared to season 1, it's still been a solid adaptation so far.

For Sure:

Magilumiere Magical Girls Inc.: Office lady magical girl show. I'm in. Potential yuri source spotted.

Acro Trip: the second magical girl anime this year about a girl who's obsessed with magical girls but becomes the leader of an evil organization that fights them. Very much interested in it. Potential yuri source spotted.

Dandadan: I have a number of friends who are obsessed with this one so I was already interested in it but even if I didn't, the fact that it's also being animated by fucking Science SARU would have been enough.

Maybe:

The Stories of Girls Who Couldn't Be Magicians: Another magic school anime. Seems like it could be cute.

Demon Lord 2099: Fantasy demon lord awakens to find out his fantasy setting is now a cyberpunk one. Yeah okay, that sound really neat. I'm down for some fantasy x cyberpunk

Good Bye, Dragon Life: fantasy series about dragon that dies and gets reincarnated as some dude. Sounds alright but the main waifu character being a lamia is enough for me to give it a try.

Puniru wa Kawaii Slime: Slime girl anime. Yeah that's probably all it takes to sell me on it.

I’ll Become a Villainess Who Goes Down in History: I feel like I have to give most villainess isekais a try at this point. So sure, Villainess Isekai where the MC wants to actually be the evil villainess.

[xhanisai]

Top 5 couples... In ML! (having more than one pairing for one character is very much accepted)

HEHEHEH LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to cheat a little and add six AND YOU WILL SEE WHY.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 - Mariblanc (Marinette and Chat Blanc)

Come on. It's me. Haunting the narrative? Check. Caused the end of the world? Check. Shows the extremes one would go for the other? FUCKING CHECK. Genuinely, as soon as episode Chat Blanc aired I practically ascended because this is everything I have ever wanted and uGHhHh I can never properly convey cohesively how much I love, love, LOVE THEM.

THEIR LOVE DESTROYED THE WORLD.

THEIR LOVE DOOMED THEM ALL ONCE UPON A TIME.

AND YET THEY STILL CAN'T HELP BUT CONTINUE TO LOVE EACH OTHER AAAAAA!!!!

2 - Lovesquare (Marinette and Adrien in every form)

This is the reason why I had to extend the list to six instead of five LMAOOO!! I love every single side of lovesquare so FUCKING much. And all the sides would have taken up the spots so I had to compress them all here. Every side brings something fresh, something exciting and I can never get bored. I love you adrinette. I love you ladynoir. I love you marichat. I love you ladrien. I love you misternoire. I love you assmouse/snakemouse. I LOVE IT ALL!!!!!

They will stay rotating in my brain forever at 1000000 kilometres per hour for the rest of my life and I feel honoured.

3 - Chlolila (Chloe and Lila)

EVIL GIRLS! EVIL GIRLS!!! I LOVE EVIL GIRLS!!!! I hate bully x victim ships...but bully x bully?? YES PLEASE.

I want them to make each other WORSE. I want them to tango on the rooftops as they plot the downfall of the world whilst finding ways to get rid of each other. I don't want them to have any redemption arcs LET GIRLS BE EVIL.

They are ML's toxic yuri AND THEY DESERVE MORE RECOGNITION.

4 - Eminath (Emilie and Nathalie)

Nathalie was willing to terrorise Paris and ladynoir in order to bring Emilie back to life AND THAT IS PEAK ROMANCE TO ME. And then she stopped when she realised how mistreated Adrien was and saw the video that Emilie made??!??

THEY ARE MARRIED IN ANOTHER TIMELINE WITH A HAPPY ADRIEN WITH TWO LOVING MOTHERS IDFC.

5 - DJWifi (Alya and Nino)

I really, really REALLy love their dynamic! I love how confident and fiery Alya is and how chill and silly Nino is. I love that even these two subvert gender roles and we have him often jumping to conclusions and spilling secrets whilst she's there to kiss his worries away and ensure that she's there by his side 💓

They are actually really wholesome and I wish we got more pre-relationship goodness between them both before they got together because that's my favourite part when it comes to romance~!!!

6 - Plikki/Cheesecake (Plagg and Tikki)

I love them. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. JUST WEE LITTLE GODS until they show their fucking amazing cryptic love craftien true forms!!!! He calls her sugarcube and she calls him stinkysock I LOVE THEM.

Honourable mentions - Juleka and Rose, Gabriel and Emilie, Amelie and Nathalie, onesided Lila being obsessed with Marinette, onesided Felix crushing on Marinette, Alya and Marinette/Nino and Adrien (to an extent because I don't like any ships that break up the lovesquare), Gabriel and Harry Clown, Tom and Sabine, Gabriel and Nathalie and probably more but I can't remember LOL.

[cathchicken]

Ok yay another round of first impressions!!! Again, spoilers for Fionna and cake below the cut! (Episodes 5 and 6)

Episode one:

- I became more invested in this episode the further it went, I ended up liking it a lot!

- farmworld society is real neat. I like how ice Finn became some demonic figure to everyone

- FINN GKT KIDS

- I liked the character if the main Finn kid (forget his name already damnnn)

- the forbidden romance was funny, but they left that universe so quickly, I want to know what happens!!

- Simon curses

- what thr hell is up with the pink goop

- Farm Finn mentions his wife is dead (CMONNN). Not sure exactly who she could be, but I’m guessing farm huntress wizard, based off of a few of the kids designs. Specifically the one with ginger hair and green eyes. The soup thing is interesting too

- OH MY GOD THE OLD JAKE IS SO ADORABLE GRAHHHHHH

- and I love that Cake actually likes him like aughhhhh

- (this is hurting my soul)

- most important note: THERE WAS A CHICKEN FOR A SPLIT SECOND I WIN AUTOMATICALLY

Overall solid episode!

Episode two:

- yeah I know what’s gonna happen. Tumblr prepare yourself

- wait I forgot about the yaoi subplot haha

- anyways time to see photos of half naked Marshall everywhere for a week now too

- ok real meat: winter king. He’s a lot more cunty than I thought. The song and animation was gorgeous!!

- why did they draw his crotch like that. WHAT cmon I can’t be the only one. It’s so… well defined. Anyways

- the whimsical gunters were perfect. Especially the fairy

- the ice Marcy??? What??

- FUCKING. CAKE. SAYING WINTER KING AND SIMON SHOULD MAKE OUT AT THR END KF THE SONG. like damnnnn she is freaky. That would have been quite something though

- oh god. Wait, is this gonna be the oncest thingy now..? Fandom wise… cake you’ve doomed us all!!

- ahem

- oh yeah bubbaline! (Garylee..?) it was a very cute montage!! And I like Gary’s candy kingdom esque idea for his bakery.

- MORE LEMONFEMS (Lemoncarb?? I don’t know how to spell it)

- idk about you guys but I like them. Well, I don’t like how they did Gary. But still. Very good

- ok back to fionna

- yes!! Candy… queen! (The name to no one’s surprise haha) she pretty much was exactly what I expected. I love her

- her song was also great!!

- unfortunately I guess her existence is short lived lol

- won’t stop me… with the power of fanart!

- I like the scene where she rolls off the bed

- yeah at this point I was sort of suspicious of winter guy

- lobotomy… thr best remedy…

- the way winter king just lets Fionna embrace him right in front of actual Simon is fucking crazy haha. I’m sure cake was loving it

- THE HE

- WHAT THR HELL

- well, the team handles trauma together….

- interesting, this universes pb is like, exactly the same haha.

- oh yeah, Fionna ain’t straight at all. You saw how she reacted when pb caressed her

- oh yeah final winter king impressions: I hate him

- also the fact he acknowledged Betty died and couldn’t give a shit. Fuck him forever

- csnt lie I’m a little sad it’s not a direct swap universe like my little theory. But ofc that’s not a problem at all, just me predicting stuff wrong

- not letting that go tho. Passionpeachy I won’t fail you. Doomed yuri is always the answer

Ok that’s pretty much it!!! Overall I really enjoyed these episodes, and I’m gonna have a good time seeing everyone else react to them :3 but now I get some sleep. I got school tomorrow

[moldsporr]

Finished act 4!!!!

Act 1 reaction here

Act 2 reaction here

Act 3 reaction here

Intermission reaction here

Act 4 reaction:

“Next image” or “end game” What. What we just started ???

Ohhh I like this music tho

YAY JOHN AND HIS SWAGGY CLOTHES!!!!

This looks like an rpg lol

HI??? FROG??? SALAMANDER???? Whatever you are you're adorable

Hi adhd amphibian

These guys are great I love then

Ohhh they're salamanders

This section would be a lot more fun if I could. Play Homestuck. Curse my computer for not allowing me to read homestuck

This section is also taking a very long time to load. It is pictures you're fine phone

YAY BACK TO FUN STUFF!!! HI RENEGADE

DONT KILL WV DONT KILL WV

Did he lift thr pumpkin off wv's head. Gay

HELP don't kill him he's turned gay it's okay

Yay hi Jade!!!!

???? There IS a pumpkin there what the fuck

FUCK YEAH GLASSES PESTERING!!! LIKE HAL!!! BUT SQUARE!!!!!

Love the difference between John and Dave's reactions to Jade's dog

hi karkat!!!!!! You're being so mean… be nice to john or I'm Gonna bite you

Man I can like. Feel John's frustration karkat you're being so annoying I'm gonna bite you

Dave schizo arc … no I know he's being silly about the psychosis thing

Slur count: 9

“I love him” Dave why are you so random. Good for you though beeeee who you aaaaaare for your priiiiiide

ROSE IS IN PAN LAND!!!! They're putting chemicals in the water to turn the Rose's pan

Okay so we're going through the game thing again

???? Dave why do you want john to drink your piss,

YAYAYAYAYA THE SPRITE !!!! YOI WILL BE SO ANGSTY LATER

Well that's one way to wake Jade up

I think WV, PM, and AR could be a poly

GO JOHN WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

Hello?????

GRANDPA???????????

JOHN NO BAD CHOICE

Oh :( Rose's mom left…

Egg

Slur count: 10

Okay which troll is this. Don't be rude about Rose's mom!!!! Bad troll

Best hatefriends forever <33 who are you

“Shit the bed” KARKAT TALKS LIKE ME!!!!

I understand why i was told i am karkat-coded

Slur count: 11

Laughing at a blind girl? Not cool egbert

OHH it's that one. The. Vriskas girlfriend!!!!

Guy with cat ears <4333

Hello???

Awooga

Oh. Oh that map is. Not great

GO ROSE GO ROSE !!!!

Yo that shot looks sickkkk…

Yo rose is metal af

“TG: i command her alright i am like the pimpmaster hustledaddy of all snippy bookshrews” Dave what

Okay my font changed here. Easier to read tbh. Idk if it'll translate to tumblr but oh well

Omg… yuri?????

Help why do trolls sound so gay

Oh green troll is pretty… what's her name….

Honktraband

I KNOW THIS ONE!!! Great rap Tavros

Whatever video they linked to for “I got a present for you casey” is unavailable… rip

Trolls watch movies with modern manga titles. Will keep in mind

Terezi is so right. John is a stupidly adorable little guy

OMG PM IS A QUEEN!!! SLAY

Meow

Awww… jaspersprite kinda types like my buddy. Meow meow

John's blasting off again

Did I miss something. When did Dave get a suit. When did Cal get added to the sprite. Wha

Yo what. John and Jade died??? Terezi noooo why did you ruin their session…

Slur count: 12

FUCK YEAH DAVESPRITE!!!! THERES THE GUY!!!!! I LOVE YOU DAVESPRITE

That didn't happen the way I thought it would. I think it's sweet that Dave chose to become a sprite to protect his friends. If they don't treat him nicely I'm killing all of them

But dang… doomed timeline…

OH MY GOD CAPRAIN PLANET

Dave and Davesprite are so chill. Love them

AWWW. John remembered Dave's note….

Ohhh sick… jack is a queen(?) Now!!!! The guardian people are fighting!!! Yayyyyyy

Oh thank God Hussie will explain what's been going on

CAL IS REAL!!!!!

My reaction to Hussies's joke ._. That was. Lame

Aww. Terezi just wants to be his friend :> this better not be a trick my baby boy is so gullible

ROSE'S PLACE!!!

Dr Meowgon Spengler

John :( he's real Dave. John don't be ungrateful… honestly it's fair of Davesprite to be mad. Like John died in his timeline. He went back and chose to help the other Dave and all his friends and. Ourghh. Be nice to him

Yooo cal gets a cute little outfit !!! He's zipping around <333

HELP HE PASSED OUT

Awwww… more bunnies!!!

IS THIS SOLLUX. I've heard of this one. Eridan lover

They are jamming!!

CAL NO

Maplehoof Maplehoof

JADES GRANDPA!!!

Haha get pranked

I love the differences in how Rose and John name things

John you're So stupid why would you just stand on it

FUCK YEAH CAL IS HERE

Fuck yeah ride the pony

AR so swaggy

Okay so. I swear. These guys are the midnight crew. That is literally Deuce. I'm not crazy right. They look the same. Maybe this is their sleepy selves… godtier… do they get godtier. Hmm

FUCK YEAH JADE

NO NOT GRANDPA FUCK WAIT

Idk what just happened in that animation but yay WV

Needlewands!!!!

Omg that's such a cute outfit for Rose I love it

Welcome to the party motherfuckers

Okay I'm really excited to see what Jade’s sprite is

I don't remember Dave getting thay suit. Did he steal it from future Dave. I mean future Dave doesn't really need clothes anymore but…

Oh okay yeah it's future Dave's. but cool!! Not a bad suit at all

Beautiful sword actually

Dave you're scaring the hoes

Dave looks like the autism creature in that selfie he took

Meowmeowmeowmeowmeow

Wizard fanfic!!!!

Dave is so real here. Rose and her mom could've talked :(

DAVE THERES A GUY IN UR HOUSE

Uhhhh. Dave ded :( that's not good. Present Dave you gotta fix this

Man what if that Dave was still alive

BETTY CROCKER

Nanna!!!!

I'm gonna bet 10$ that the goo John's getting is gonna be the alpha kids

FUCK YEAH I KNEW IT!!!!

Oh there are more beta kids as well okay

They are holding hands !

karkar you can't say that. Wait that's not his name. Whatever. Karkat bad!!! Unless you're like me as I am like you. Schizophrenic I mean.

Awww.. Lil dirk loves Lil cal… that's so sweet

Babysitter au!!! John be careful with all these babies

These babies are uglJAKE PUT THE GUNS DOWN!!!!

Karkat never say daddy again thank you

J???? JAKE??? YOU KILLED HER GRANDPA

Harley… like Jade Harley…

Jack Noir…

That was the best ending of an act. Oh my fucking god. I am crying

[aliencatwafers]

Wafers, my phone has been blowing up with hardenshipping this morning /pos

With your recent liking towards Metadedede and now Hardenshipping resurfacing I think the people gotta know: Do you enjoy some good old man yaoi? >:3

hell yeah! I’m glad you noticed and asked me what’s up :3

My gf was playing Pokémon Alpha Sapphire and really loves Team Aqua, and I went on Tumblr to look at Hardenshipping. It got me more into the ship. As for Metadede, I don’t know how that happened or why I developed a recent hyperfixation on Kirby. I’m guessing the music and then it led to lore videos and seeing Kirby Fighter’s 2 and Tumblr go wild. Basically if I see a ship over and over I start liking it sometimes lol, but not all the time. Also I’m a lover of goofy extroverted man who has trauma but needs someone to recognize it since despite all the people who know him, few truly know him AND silent introverted man who is also traumatized but doesn’t let people in easily except for who you would think would be the complete ANTITHESIS to the silent introverted man but it works somehow.

I love some old man yaoi! It’s nice to see old men in love. I lean more towards wholesome and romantic for old man yaoi since I see too many toxic and rough couples lol, it’s nice to switch it up with something soft. With how few queer stories there are compared to how many straight stories there are, and in many queer stories it focuses on young queer people in love, it can leave the impression that there’s no future for old queer people; that queer people are doomed to die young. Old man yaoi and old woman yuri are nice ways to counteract the narrative that queer people don’t get to live long. And even so, not realizing one is queer when young shouldn’t doom someone that they can’t find love if they want it. There’s many people who don’t realize they’re queer until late in life and that’s okay. Plus if one doesn’t find the love of their life young, they can still have just as fulfilling a relationship when older or old. It’s reassuring to know that no matter the baggage, how many ex’s you have, or how many kids you have, you can still find love but with someone who will love you back. You’ve let go of the restricting life of heteronormativity to find a life that you build yourself. It’s reassuring to know that no matter how painful or restrictive your childhood was, it’s not the end of you. Your past doesn’t define you. It may define the parameters of what you know or start with, but you can change for the better. Your youth gives you a blueprint but you can try to break free and become the person you wanted to be rather than what the people who hurt you said you are. No matter how many times it takes to learn, no matter how many fuck ups you do (excluding rape, murder, pedo, racism, etc), you will still be loved and find love. Just because your childhood or youth or midlife wasn’t the best doesn’t mean your aging years and near end of life won’t be the worst.

The short answer is that I love old man yaoi :3

[artblock-tm]

I unfortunately lack the time right now to go through the list, so use this as an excuse to answer any of the OC questions you want. If none in particular, answer every single one.

(cracks knuckles) Here we go :)

This is the OC ask list, by the way!

I’m gonna answer them all so…. Be prepared.

And, Doll and Grace, if you’re reading this since you got pinged, hi. Forgive me, there’s a lot of text under this cut.

Doll, you were mentioned because I discussed shipping OCs.

Grace, you were mentioned because I wanted to share your Sketch design with the world.

Love ya. Sorry. Let’s get on with it.

Your Oldest OC:

That title would probably have to go to Rynne! I’ve had her for several years now, and she originated as a cringe sona-but-not-it’s-like-me-but-a-sadist-with-a-scythe sorta characters. Gosh, she’s so old, I have no relevant art to show of her!

Your Newest OC:

It’s been a while since I’ve developed a truly new OC…so it’d have to be Drisco and Castarian. They debuted in the mind at the same day, but Castarian made an appearance later so technically he’s the newest!

Favorite OC:

I don’t have an overall favorite… but I do pick and choose favorites from each story I have. A couple of my favorites include Maroon, Jay, Switch, Dislan, and Rynne.

Any Villain OCs?

Go read Masked.

Plenty! Outlander, of course, but we can’t forget Dhá-Aghaidh, Jynx, or Dr. Kruger, now can we?

Main Reason For Making OCs:

Mostly for story reasons that spawn. However, I do have fandom OCs, (and some of them happen to be the most well-known!) but I will inevitably end up working them into a story. OCs spawning from roleplay is a rare sight, and it’s only happened once… believe it or not, that’s how Karmin came into existence!

Describe Your Character Creation Process:

Step 1: Concept for a silly guy comes into my brain.

Step 2: Come up with a basic design for them to be changed later.

Step 3: Inflict soul-crushing pain.

Step 4: Have so much fun inflicting pain that I have to remind myself that it’s supposed to be a story. Suffer without coming up with actual story elements.

Step 5: Receive divine inspiration and everything comes together and I’m so fucking back baby.

Repeat Steps 5 and 6 until done.

Fav OC Ship:

Castarian and Drisco. They’re not a couple, but they have feelings for each other. They each blame each other for their deaths and refuse to see the other’s way. They separated themselves and feel the crushing loneliness l, but when they’re together they can’t stop arguing.

Drisco wants nothing more than to HURT Castarian, but only HE can hurt him, no one else, since he is the only person Castarian has wronged.

Castarian hates Drisco’s facades, violence, and methods, but those are what helped him in life. Drisco holds the power to make Castarian feel good about himself… and he’s dependent on that.

Do You Ship Your OCs With Someone Else’s OCs:

For everyone else who doesn’t know, my OC Jaide gets to be in a doomed yuri with Sky (the asker’s OC!! Hi Marci <3)

But I do have quite a few characters shipped with those belonging to @corrupted-tale. Like my OC Dislan and her OC Pix. And my Narrator with her Lady Luck.

Weirdest OC:

I’d have to say Bi Solomon earns that title. He’s a fascist furry who reinvented capitalism in a post-apocalyptic world. (And by furry I do mean he’s a Creature btw).

Favorite OC Design:

I REFUSE to let that achievement go to Drisco so Night! ILY Night!!!! You’re so cool and gender and badass!!

Not the greatest picture of it, since it actually has 4 arms and a cool-ass sickle… but oh well.

Would You Consider Yourself Nice To Your OCs:

Go read Masked.

Haha, not at all. They all suffer underneath my thumb, no matter how beloved they are :)

An OC You’ve Killed:

The easy answer are OCs like Jaide, Levi, Drisco, and Castarian, since they’re ghosts and that’s their whole gimmick.

It’s actually rare for me to kill off OCs and leave them forever, since I feel like they die before their potential is fulfilled. But the previously mentioned fascist furry Solomon dies (good riddance), and I have a pantheon of gods that get slaughtered in a different story!

Are Any Of Your OCs Parents:

Go Read Ma

Besides Jaide, I do have some others! I have a royal family group of OCs, with King Leonard and Queen Beatrice being parents to a chaotic group of kids.

Dr. Kruger, while not physically being a dad, is burdened with being a single father as punishment for being too William Afton core.

Are There Any OCs You Find Yourself Neglecting:

Each OC has gotten their time in the spotlight, but I haven’t developed all of the characters from that royal family. And I have waning interest if the cast of Ora and the Rift in Time…

There are concept OCs I neglect since I dunno what to do with them. Like Brittlebrine. He started off as a cool concept for exactly one day and then I never thought about him again. And I’m still conflicted on Devon…..

An OC that’s difficult to write/draw/rp:

Vipsi’s hard to write, despite having little screentime. She lost her mind, but I don’t entirely know how to write insanity arcs. Not to mention that I didn’t really know how their story should go…

My entire godly pantheon is difficult for me to draw (except for Lux, since I’ve had her design figured out). I don’t have finalized designs for some of the less important gods, but the design ideas are difficult…

Out of the few OCs I’ve roleplayed, Karmin has been the most difficult (which is ironic, considering she originated from one). I have to actively consider what is going on in her brain and how to present it in a good way. But it’s okay since she’s only ever been in two rps ever.

Your Tallest & Shortest OCs:

My shortest is probably Gemi! He’s less than 4 feet tall. Truly a little guy.

And my eldritch being OCs are the tallest. In their most incomprehensible forms, they’re about 40-70 feet tall? It fluctuates, since they’re impossible to comprehend. But they’re very large.

Your Oldest and Youngest OCs:

As much as I’d like to say my youngest is Levi, he was born 500 years before Masked present! That means that Ora is likely my youngest, being 7 or 8.

Just like with height, my eldritch being OCs take the cake for being the oldest. They’re all billions of years old, except for Thirio and Tsumi. Epithymia is the oldest of them all, but if Nova were still alive, he would’ve won the crown.

Do You Dislike Any Of Your OCs?

Mr. Bi Solomon deserved that bullet to the brain. See you in hell, you corporate motherfucker.

Have You Ever Made A Self-Insert?

Oh yeah. My sona Doodle doubles as a self-insert when I don’t want to make an entirely new character with a flat personality since they’re based on me.

Branching off of Doodle thanks to some sort of evolution is a self-insert named Sketch. Sketch is what happens when I want to ship myself with characters, but they will be the star of the SPM fic I have planned!

Here is the current design for them, made by the lovely @gracebeth3604! (Cropped to avoid spoilers </3)

An OC Regret:

I have OCs that spawned from ideas that I didn’t fully know how to handle well, or problematic media. They were all from when I was younger, though, so all is forgiven and those OCs have been sent to the fiery oblivion.

Weeeelp that’s all of it! If you’ve read this all, I’m super impressed! Thank you so much, but you’re gonna forget all this. I hope it was worth it to you! ❤️

[morbid-rxse]

bout to go on a tangent so BUCKLE UP!!

1. adam dude i don’t even care if it’s basic no one gets adam like i get adam

2. MANDYYY!!! she’s my bbg and i wanna wrap her in a blanket, give her some warm food, kiss her forehead, and tell her everything’s gonna be ok

3. mark 😡 grrrr he’s so man, like ewww (don’t come after me hoffman stan’s i don’t even really know why i hate him sm i just do)

4. adam 😋 next question

5. ADAM OMG!! don’t make me start, oop too late, he had ways to get out of there we’ve seen one of the ways, i also just want to see how he would be after all that (fix-it fics save me)

6. was gonna say bobby cause i frogot the fucking EWW i cant even talk about it, the r@p!st/p€d0 that scene makes me sick just from everything around it..

7. chainshipping and shotgunshipping i don’t care much for coffinshipping tbh (save me doomed yuri/yaoi… doomed yuri/yaoi save me…)

8. i was definitely WAY too young to be watching these movies but my dad’s watched horror with me since i was like 3 so i probably watched these first when i was like 5? who knows they’ve almost always been apart of my life and i’m so glad i found out there’s a whole amazing fandom (i love y’all 🫶)

9. saw (2004) what can i say it’s the best one

10. SPIRAL OMG IT SUCKEDDD i couldn’t even finish it when i first watched it, the whole copy cat thing made me so mad, we don’t talk about jigsaw/spiral in this house hold (i don’t know why they made those ones so diffrent)

11. i know a lot of people dislike it, i see why, but i love aprentance lawrence (MY HUSBANDDD) i just wish it was hinted at more through the series, i really hope saw XI is more him focused and not yet another mark movie if he made it out of that bathroom

12. just gonna use this to talk about XI/XII, i cannot wait dude, i was bummed at first when i found out XI got delayed but i’m glad their putting effort in it, i can’t wait to see the traps with how good they were in X

13. XII/3D could’ve been better, (gonna be really honest here 4-6 is like a blur to me so i probably won’t talk much about those unless i get some weird hyper focus on them) but i don’t think it needs a remake, none of them do their perfect

14. shotgun carousel!! the whole vibe and “lesson” from it specifically was so interesting! it was a more agressive way of showing how picking and choosing affects people’s lives and sometimes (in this case) ending them

15. the eye vacuum EASY, like i get it’s breaking your finger at the knuckles but that’s about a million times better than your eyes getting sucked out

16. the venus fly trap, i would sit and wait for the timer to go down ain’t no way buddy, go ahead and start cutting this puzzle peice out of me

17. unfortunately no 😭 i know they aren’t the best games but i have the playthroughs saved on my yt watch later list, BUT BUT i heard there might be a new saw game coming in the future by a big studio and you bet i’ll be getting that asap, only hope it’s not another dbd copy like friday the 13th or texas chainsaw massacre (i’ll still play it)

18. definitely the plot, although i love the traps, saw III is one of my favorites for the plot

19. OMG WHOEVER MADE THIS DIE I DIDNT READ ALL OF THEM AHEAD OF TIME 😭😭

gonna add 20. cause only 19 bothers me

20. favorite reveal/ ending

i like how in saw III how it reveals that amanda was just out of frame and how everything finally got to her (my baby 😭)

this was really fun i liked thinking about all these 

Do you want to play a game? -Saw themed asks

Favorite male character

Favorite female character

Least favorite character

A character you relate to

A character you wish could have lived

A character you think deserved what they got

Do you have any ships?

How you introduced to the series

Favorite movie

Least favorite movie

Thoughts on Saw VII

Do you want an eight Saw film?

How about a remake?

Favorite trap

A trap you think you could survive

A trap that terrifies you

Have you played either of the Saw video games?

Which part of the series did you look forward to the most? More traps or more plot?

How does it feel to know that Lawrence never came back for Adam : D

[houseisekai]

FE3H:HI Shadowbringers - Part 3: Defenders for Enbarr

House Isekai Shadowbringers AU Masterlist Here

—

4 Years into the war, the siege of Enbarr has begun, with Dimitri, the Blue Lions, SEES, and Class VII rushing to its defense.

In the present, the mysteries surrounding the Agarthan helping House Isekai continue to grow, and the biggest question becoming more and more prominent: Why are they here?

—

Garreg Mach Monastery, Present Day…

Kazuma, Yuki, and Sitri rushed down the stairs to the entrance where everyone was readying their weapons.

(Aqua) “There you guys are!”

(Yuri) “Looks like it’s the Blue Lions up first.”

The former Blue Lions class walked casually towards the entrance conversing with one another. It looked like they hadn’t noticed them yet.

(Kurumi) “Wait, something’s not right. Why would they be just strolling right up to us if they were ready to attack?”

(Ainz) “Hmph. It may be possible they’re trying to feint us. We should remain on guard and-”

Before she finished that sentence, Class VII, Doomguy, and S.E.E.S came into view right behind them.

(Megumi) “They’re okay!”

(Cocytus) “DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE?”

(Sebas) “The Pleiades and I will move to intercept before they arrive, Lord Ainz.”

(Sharon’s Voice) “Oh, that won’t be necessary, Sir Sebas!”

(Kazuma) “GAH, FUCK!”

(Sitri) “DWAH?!”

(Yuri) “GODS-DAMN IT!”

(Megumi) “EEK!”

Everyone spun around but lowered their weapons once they saw Sharon standing right behind them with her signature unsettling smile.

(Aqua) “Do you REALLY have to keep doing that!?”

(Sitri) “S-She’s a friend?”

Yuri took a deep sigh and sheathed his sword.

(Yuri) “Yup. This is the retainer of House Isekai.”

(Sharon) “It is a pleasure to see you all again!”

Sharon bowed as the others finally made their way through the gates.

(Rean) “Everyone!”

(Minako) “I’d say it’s good to see each and everyone of you again buuuuut...I’d be lying.”

(Minato) “Tactful, Minako.”

Doomguy gave them a thumbsup.

(Dedue) “House Isekai? What are you doing here?"

(Ainz) "That's something we would like to know as well."

(Sharon) "Well, perhaps we can discuss this inside with tea once everyone arrives?"

Sara glanced over to the side and noticed Sitri.

(Sara) "...Who's this?"

(Sitri) “H-Hello...”

(Kazuma) "Oh right. Well, this is Sitri."

(Everyone) ?!

(Sara) "As in-?"

(Yuuri) "Byleth's mother, yes."

(Sylvain) “Well uh...That doesn’t exactly bode well.”

Everyone looked at Sylvain.

(Ingrid) “I’m sure we have loads of questions for each other, but let’s get inside first like Sharon said.”

They nodded and made their way to the Mess Hall.

After a few moments of everyone getting situated, they began discussing what had transpired for the past 5 years. Sharon and Doomguy remained near the entrance to keep a lookout.

(Yuri) “Good to see the Blue Lions fighting back in their own way, despite all the risks.”

(Dedue) “It was not easy. Especially with the risk of SEES being discovered.”

(Kurumi) “Oh yeah, you guys have been here the longest out of all of us right?”

(Minako) “Something like that. Mitsuru-senpai, can you explain?”

She nodded.

(Mitsuru) “When we awoke, we found ourselves 4 years later in the middle of Alliance territory. Fortunately for us, they were neutral in the war and we could move somewhat freely in towns. Claude informed us of what happened after our disappearance, and we were directed to help Dimitri.”

(Ainz) “So, what’s the situation like?”

Mitsuru paused for a moment before continuing.

(Mitsuru) “It’s far more complicated than we realized...”

The sound of footsteps came from the door, with Sharon and Doomguy in front of the newly arrived group.

(Edelgard) “More so than you could have ever predicted.”

The rest of the Black Eagles came into the room and made everyone but the Blue Lions, SEES and Class VII jump out of their seats reaching for their weapons.

(Yuuri) “E-Edelgard?!”

(Kazuma) “The hell are YOU doing here?!”

Dimitri appeared behind her and raised his hands.

(Dimitri) “There is no need for that. They are here as friends.”

(Darkness) “And...D-Dimitri? But...Don’t you-?”

(Edelgard) “Your confusion is justified, but please rest assured, the Adrestian Empire stands with you, not against.”

(Hubert) “If you won’t take our word, then perhaps your friends can vouch for us?”

The Black Eagles stepped aside and revealed-

(Akira) “Long time no see.”

(Yuki) “AKIRA!”

The School-Living Club were the first to lower their weapons, and Kazuma’s group and the Denizens of Nazarick slowly followed suit.

The rest of the Phantom Thieves went inside and everyone sat at the tables.

(Makoto) “It’s...quite good to see you all again.”

(Ryuji) “Heh, not that we had any doubts!”

(Kurumi) “How did you guys know to come here?”

(Kazuma) “Sorry to put that question on the backburner, but can someone explain what the FUCK IS GOING ON?! DIMITRI’S BACK TO HIS OLD SELF AND BUDDY BUDDY WITH EDELGARD, TIME SHIT IS GOING ON WITH EVERYONE GETTING HERE AT DIFFERENT YEARS, AN AGARTHAN BROUGHT SITRI BACK FROM THE DEAD, AND NOW EVERYONE’S TEAMING UP TO FIGHT THE CHURCH?!”

(Everyone) “...”

(Ainz) “...N-Not exactly the most eloquent way to phrase that but I harbor the same thoughts. What the hell is happening?”

(Rean) “Wait a seco-Did you say an Agarthan brought Sitri back?”

Akechi raised an eyebrow and turned to her.

(Akechi) “...Figured they had you six feet under with tighter locks on your grave this time.”

(Sitri) “This time?”

(Aqua) “We’ll get back to that later! Anyways, yes. Some Agarthan calling himself Lahabrea resurrected her with dark magic of some kind. We haven’t exactly been able to tell what he did.”

Dimitri put a finger to his chin before turning to Edelgard.

(Dimitri) “He never explained that he was going to do that before to me. What about you?”

(Edelgard) “This is news to me as well.”

(Megumi) “You...know him?”

(Dimitri) “He is why we are all unified under one banner to take down the Church.”

(Everyone) “...”

(Kazuma) “WHAT?!”

(Sharon) “Perhaps we should start at the beginning?”

(Edelgard) “Indeed, though I admit the details are a bit lacking from our point of view...”

(Dimitri) “Then I will begin...”

----

(Dimitri) “5 Years ago, after the Battle of Garreg Mach, the casualties sustained on both sides forced everyone to retreat to their respective territories, since no one could hold the Monastery.

Edelgard had officially declared war on the Church of Seiros, and by extension, the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus.

The Leicester Alliance as a whole remained neutral, though several territories flocked either to the Empire or Church whether out of fear, persuasion, or patriotism of their home country.

Without the interference or aid of the Alliance, the two sides could engage the enemy without holding back.

However, the most crucial part of this war, was due to the missing presence of House Isekai.”

(Kazuma) “Huh? Why the hell were WE the reason you all could duke it out with each other?”

(Edelgard) “Because you were wild cards.”

(Edelgard) “Your presence in Garreg Mach was not only noted by your classmates and the Church, but to the entire world. Whatever plans Rhea and I had planned were stopped completely into its tracks by your appearances.

Rean with Valimar, a massive Ashen Golem whose sword could cleave the strongest of fortress walls, not even including the skills of your Orbal technology with the rest of Class VII.

The summons of the Persona Users, who could change the tide of a battle within an instant using their full power.

Ainz Ooal Gown and the denizens of Nazarick, the strength of a Tomb who surpassed the strongest of this world.

The Doom Slayer, a name which even the demons of hell tremble to utter the name of.

Not only were you all insanely powerful, you all were unified under a banner not hung anywhere else in the world, House Isekai.

You had no allegiance to any nation of this world, and that meant you could end any of us single handedly.

(Minato) “We were a deterrence then?”

(Edelgard) “Correct. And when you retreated from the tomb that day, you had announced to Fodlan that you would wage your own war against everyone. Which meant that no one could afford to hold back, knowing you were here.”

(Minako) “Which means when we fell...”

(Hubert) “Yes, no one stood in our way.”

(Hubert) “Three years we spent our time fighting each other. It would have been likely that many more years were to pass were it not for rumors that troubled both sides.

The reappearance of a group of Persona Users.

(Mitsuru) “We were not aware that someone had made it here before us.”

(Makoto) “And you already know about our group so that means-”

(Dedue) “Yes. We confirmed it to be Yu and his group. They remain in Derdriu to protect Claude and investigate the Agarthans. But it was because of them that both sides rushed to finish the fight.”

(Yuki) “Huh? Why would you do that? Sure Yu and his friends are strong but its only one group against 2 nations.”

(Dedue) “Thankfully, it meant none of you were dead.”

(Hubert) “But because of that, that means at any time, you all could show up and put every one of our plans to ruin. Thus, the Adrestian Empire moved to strike first, going straight for the occupation of the Capital of Faeghus.”

(Dedue) “We moved to intercept their forces, and the Alliance moved to stop us both from intruding on their territory, which brings us to the Battle of Gronder.”

(art source:

https://www.reddit.com/r/FireEmblemThreeHouses/comments/jaaxlr/blood_of_eagle_and_lion/)

(Dedue) “Our armies clashed at Gronder and it was a bloody fight. The three leaders had nearly succeeded in wiping each other out then and there, but were stopped due to the intervention of a masked man with the former professor of House Isekai with him.”

(Megumin) “Byleth was there with Lahabrea!?”

(Dimitri) “It was those two that got Edelgard and I to snap back into our senses. They showed us what the Church and the Agarthans had been plotting behind all of our backs, and right as they finished, that was when our true war began. Agarthans began teleporting in from out of nowhere, decimating our forces. Then, the Church drew their trump card. Their “angels” descended from the skies, turning the skies from grey to a blinding white.”

(Edelgard) “I ordered our retreat from Gronder as the “angels” tore apart our frontlines. We had not formally made an alliance there, but in due time we would due to what was to come.”

(Minato) “Which brings up our part, I guess. A year had passed since then when we arrived at Dimitri’s front door, and we learned that the Church had imposed some sort of martial law. They would be spearheading the effort in the war, crushing any who opposed them. The Church seemingly multiplied in their forces, grabbing any able body and putting them into battle with a sword in the name of Lady Rhea.”

(Dimitri) “With Lahabrea revealing the truth to me behind the Tragedy of Duscur I had somewhat become clear headed again, knowing who our real enemy was. I was not keen of my people becoming subjects of a war not even against the Empire anymore. Rhea had become mad with power and obsessed with killing Edelgard and Byleth. It was then I sent a courier to Edelgard and Claude, requesting we unite our nations to fight the Church. All the while, we were receiving aid from Lahabrea, telling us where to go and such..”

(Minako) “From Lahabrea’s advice, we became the couriers. Slayer went to Enbarr while we took to Derdriu. It took us a month for our plan to help Edelgard to begin, which is when Class VII arrived.”

(Dedue) “We have acted as subjects of Rhea while moving covertly to aid Edelgard in the battle against the Church and liberating our people from their forces.”

(Rean) “This was all about a year ago. It was there we got a full picture of what we were up against and what made Edelgard and Dimitri set aside their differences.”

...

Year 4, Outskirts of Enbarr...

The spirit portal closed behind Valimar, as everyone was transported directly outside of Enbarr.

(Dimitri) “Amazing! So this is what saved you at Garreg Mach.”

(Rean) “It’s only used for emergencies since it drains Valimar’s powers greatly. That fight didn’t take too much out of him, but I want to say he’s about half strength.”

(Minako) “Then let’s not use him again for right now. We need a way out if it comes to that.”

(Junpei) “Holy shit.”

Everyone turned around and saw what Junpei was staring at.

The skies were black with smoke, as the flames from the city raged like a wildfire.

Multiple scores of Church Soldiers rushed through the gates as catapults fired artillery into the city.

(Sara) “Damn, the siege has already begun!”

(Dimitri) “Everyone, with me!”

[Tearing Through Heaven (Rain) - Fire Emblem: Three Houses]

City Interior...

(Imperial) “GO GO GO!”

Several Imperials rushed to the front with spears to meet the soldiers head on.

Ferdinand and Caspar moved with them and drew their weapons.

(Caspar) “Ah crap, they’re back!”

(Ferdinand) “Damn, the attack on the Eastern Gates was a feint!

(Caspar) “Well, no use complaining about it now. Let’s go have some fun!”

Caspar rushed headfirst into the Church forces with other soldiers as Ferdinand turned back to an officer.

(Ferdinand) “Inform the others that the second wave is approaching and we’re going to need reinforcements!”

(Imperial) “Yes sir!”

The officer rushed back to the first checkpoint while Ferdinand joined Caspar.

Bernadetta noticed the soldier first and her heart sank.

More fighting.

(Imperial) “Second wave incoming! We need reinforcements now or we’re going to get overwhelmed!”

(Bernadetta) “Aww...! Okay okay- U-UM, ARCHERS SUPPORT THEM! I’LL GET THE FORCES FROM THE EASTERN GATES TO REINFORCE YOU!”

The archers saluted and rushed out the checkpoint.

(Bernadetta) “THE REST OF YOU STAY HERE IN CASE THE WORST HAPPENS!”

The knights nodded and drew their shields and formed a blockade leading into the deeper parts of the city.

Bernadetta grabbed her bow and made a full tilt sprint for the Eastern gates. Part of her wanted to run away and hide but she knew she couldn’t.

Lives were counting on her.

Shaking her doubt away, she ran through the streets.

...

Akira’s eyes shot wide open when he heard a building explode, and stood straight up.

Looking around him, several of the Phantom Thieves were looking around the area with their weapons drawn.

They were still in their Phantom Thief outfits which meant someone here perceived them as a threat.

(Kasumi) “Senpai, you’re up!”

(Akechi) “About damn time, we have no idea where we are or what’s going on!”

(Ann) “It sounds like a war out there!”

Getting a better look at his surroundings, the room was absolutely massive, with pillars shooting up to the ceiling and red carpets and banners decorating the room.

(Futaba) “I’m getting a scan of other House Isekai members, but I don’t think everyone’s here...!”

(Ryuji) “Wait, we fell down into a cliff into a throne room? How the hell does THAT work?!”

(Morgana) “Not everyone is here? Then where did-”

KABOOM!

(Yusuke) “Now’s not the time, we have to figure out what’s going on!”

Akira dusted himself off and looked to the door.

(Haru) “Our orders, Joker?”

(Akira) “We follow Fox’s idea! Move outside!”

Everyone nodded and rushed to the door before it swung open with Imperials.

(Imperial 1) “INTRUDERS!

(Makoto) “Imperials!”

(Akira) “On me!”

(Imperial Sergeant) “Huh? The Phantom Thieves? S-STAND DOWN YOU IDIOTS!”

The Phantom Thieves were taken aback by the sergeant’s orders, and the soldiers’ looks of confusion.

(Imperial Sergeant) “You’re House...Isekai?”

(Akira) “...Yes?”

(Imperial Sergeant) “We’re sure you have a LOT of questions, but right now the Church is besieging Enbarr! We need your help!”

(Akechi) “Why the hell would we do that, you’re trying to kill us!”

(Imperial 1) “...D-Does he mean Garreg Mach?”

(Imperial Sergeant) “Listen...I’m not sure how you’re here, but it’s been four years since then! Right now, the Church is everyone’s enemy, not just the Empire’s anymore! King Dimitri is on his way to help, but we need to survive this fight if we’re going to get it! And lest you forget, the Church wants you dead too!”

(Imperial 1) “We’ve even met some of your class too. I-I can’t remember their names but, I think they had red armbands?”

(Kasumi) “S.E.E.S...Joker?”

Akira stared at their faces and it was filled with desperation. The sergeant didn’t had a helmet closing off his face, but from the sound of his voice, he seemed genuine.

(Akira) “Alright, we’ll follow along for now. But we want answers from Edelgard!”

(Imperial Sergeant) “Y-You have my word! Sergeant Percy at your service milord!”

(Akira) “Lead the way, Percy.”

[Tearing Through Heaven (Thunder) - Fire Emblem]

Petra’s sword swiped across the chest of a Church knight, and he slumped to the ground.

She plunged her sword into his neck then turned back to the others.

Dorothea disintegrated another group of soldiers as lighting shot out of her hands.

She knelt down to the floor exhausted.

(Petra) “Dorothea!”

(Dorothea) “Ha...D-Don’t worry about me dear. I’m fine.”

That was a lie. The constant fighting was starting to wear her down, not to mention she had to use her magic at full power to even take a single knight down.

(Dorothea) “We need to get to the others and-”

(Bernadetta) “GUYS, THIS GATE WAS JUST A TRAP!”

Bernadetta waved her arms frantically at Dorothea, Petra, and the other soldiers present.

(Dorothea) “-...Tell them this was a diversion.”

(Petra) “We are knowing already! We follow your lead!”

(Bernadetta) “Got i-WATCH OUT!”

A knight who had an arrow through his chest got up and charged at Dorothea.

Petra got into stance while Bernadetta reached for her arrows, but neither of them would be fast enough.

A pegasus swooped in and hit the knight into a building, crashing through the walls and taking him out.

A girl dropped from the Pegasus and shot a spell at the knight, igniting the whole building into flames.

(Annette) “Whew, that was close!”

(Ingrid) “Dorothea, are you okay?!”

Dorothea’s face beamed once she realized who it was.

(Dorothea) “Ingrid dear! Oh, I think I might swoon from being saved by a beautiful-”

(Ingrid) “NOT THE TIME.”

(Bernadetta) “Y-You guys are here already? Not that I’m complaining or anything.”

(Annette) “We had some help!”

Right on cue, Class VII, SEES, and the Blue Lions emerged from the Eastern gates, fighting the Church Knights.

(Dimitri) “Sorry to keep you waiting!”

Ingrid helped Dorothea up and looked around.

(Ingrid) “We don’t see an Inquisitor here. What’s going on?”

(Dorothea) “This front was a feint. Happy as we are to see you, you all showed up at the wrong gate.”

(Dimitri) “Damn! House Isekai, move to the front, we’ll secure this gate!”

Sara kicked a knight to the ground and nodded.

(Sara) “Got it. Come on kiddos, this way!”

As Class VII and SEES ran through the streets, Doomguy remained outside with the Blue Lions.

He destroyed the last of the catapults with his rocket launcher and hit a knight’s face with his elbow, sending him down into the floor.

He was sure he used all of his force to knock him out, the knight got back up as if he were only shoved down.

Doomguy then grabbed the knight’s neck and took off his helmet.

His eyes widened a little bit, then frowned.

The knight tried with all his might to kick Doomguy, but to no avail.

Doomguy had intended to just stun the knights, but after taking the helmet off, he realized that it was unnecessary.

With a simple pull, he ripped off the knight’s head and tossed his body aside.

He put the head on his belt and took out a shotgun.

Things were about to get messy.

...

Caspar cleaved a knight in half while Ferdinand put his sword through another’s chest.

Linhardt rushed to the injured Imperial soldiers and began healing.

(Linhardt) “Come on, stop bleeding, stop bleeding!”

(Wounded Imperial) “S-Sir...! It’s too dangerous for you to-”

(Linhardt) “Shut up.”

Hubert and Edelgard ran up to the front and stood in front of Linhardt.

Two knights rushed toward them, but were reduced to ash as a dark magic spel hit both of them.

(Hubert) “All too easy.”

(Edelgard) “Get the injured back to the checkpoint.”

(Linhardt) “Already on it.”

Edelgard nodded and held tightly onto Areadbhar.

Even more knights were pouring in, and it wouldn’t be long before the Imperials would get overwhelmed.

(Hubert) “I do not think you should be at the front. We would be acceptable casualties if-”

(Edelgard) “I would not be here if I did not have a plan to escape, Hubert. If I am here, then the Inquisitor will show his face, then we can-”

(Sharon) “Excuse me, lady Edelgard!”

The two spun around and almost jumped at seeing Sharon there with a smile on her face. Her wires and dagger were already unsheathed as she bowed in respect.

(Sharon) “Would you like our assistance?”

(Rean) “CLASS VII, FORWARD!”

(Minato/Minako) “ORPHEUS!”

Class VII and S.E.E.S ran into view and pushed back the knights, with the Imperials cheering at the reinforcements.

(Hubert) “That was part of your plan too...right?’

(Edelgard) “N-No. It wasn’t.”

Rean slashed away the weapon of a knight, only for the knight to rush Rean with his bare hands.

(Rean) “Why won’t they go down?!”

Minako’s persona blew away several knights into the wall to knock them out. However, all of them all got back up, weapons still in hand.

(Sharon) “If you would pardon me for a moment!”

Sharon shot her wires forward and wrapped a knight, making him trip.

Her smile faded away into a straight face when she saw the knight break out after a moment.

(Sara) “Huh. Didn’t strike me as the type to break out of YOUR chains, Sharon.”

(Sharon) “It is as surprising to me as it is to you, Lady Sara.”

(Hubert) “What are you doing, KILL THEM!”

(Yukari) “The hell, are you crazy?!”

(Elliot) “B-But we can’t-”

BANG!

The Knight that was fighting Rean now had a bullet hole through his head and fell down to the ground.

Everyone spun around and saw Akira and the rest of the Phantom Thieves with their guns out.

Percy and the other soldiers began moving the wounded out of the battle.

(Minato) “Akira?!”

(Minako) “Y-You just killed...!-”

(Akira) “Fight to kill, they aren’t human!”

(Rean) “W-What?”

The black sky suddenly turned into a blinding white, with the knights who weren’t killed yet suddenly twitching violently.

The Blue Lions noticed the White light in the skies near the main gate and began making their way.

(Hubert) “Well, looks like your plan is working after all, Lady Edelgard.”

(Edelgard) “So it would seem.”

The knights slowly began to cough out white blood as their bodies convulsed, with glowing white limbs breaking out of their backs.

(Akihiko) “What in the hell?!”

(Laura) “What’s happening to them?!”

The first one to finish transformation was a knight near Edelgard.

The knight had formed into some abomination with long limbs, wings, and a head that split into 3 jaws, the skin being a pristine white that showed no evidence of being even remotely human prior.

Sara was the first one to act, splitting it in half with her sword.

Sharon was the next, using her wires to enwrap a knight in mid-transformation and severing the head.

(Caspar) “What are you all standing there for?!”

Shaking off the initial shock, they begun killing the creatures that had just formed.

(Ken) “What are these things?!”

Ken speared one through the stomach as Koromaru summoned a persona and lit it aflame.

Ryuji hit one with his mace, crushing its head in.

(Ryuji) “H-Hey, don’t these things kinda remind you of shadows?”

Ann fired several rounds from her SMG and turned to Ryuji.

(Ann) “How did Shadows from our worlds get in here, and what are they doing in the Church Knights?!”

Fuuka and Futaba began scanning the field and sure enough, they were giving off the same readings as Shadows.

(Futaba) “How is this possible?!”

(Fuuka) “E-Edelgard! There’s a massive signature headed our way!”

(Edelgard) “That means that can only mean one thing...”

[Will and Reason - Tales of Berseria]

The creatures flew away from everyone and towards the gate, where a single knight with a white cape walked in.

With the skies so bright, the light reflecting off his armor blinded a few people.

Dimitri and the others stood next to Edelgard, realizing who was arriving at the gates.

(Dimitri) “An Inquisitor!”

(Inquisitor) “How troubling. I come to cleanse the heretics from this land, and what do I find? The King of Faerghus conspiring with them.”

His helmet shifted from looking at the rest of House Isekai.

(Inquisitor) “And the students not of our world to boot.”

(Minako) “You...you turned your loyal knights into monsters!”

(Inquisitor) “SILENCE, GIRL! These are holy angels of Sothis, who pledged themselves to defend our holy nation from heretics such as you lot!”

(Minato) “Don’t think Sothis would appreciate whatever the hell these freakshows are!”

(Inquisitor) “You DARE?!”

(Edelgard) “This world belongs to us! NOT YOU AND YOUR MONSTERS!”

(Inquisitor) “...Hmph. How very glib. I will make one offer, King Dimitri. Surrender these heretics to me, and I will not mention our encounter in my report. You are hopefully misguided with these...savages.”

(Dimitri) “These ‘savages’ are my friends! I will never! My people may have given into your reign, BUT I WILL SHOW THEM THAT YOU’RE OUR TRUE ENEMY!”

(Inquisitor) “Then by my right as Inquisitor of the Holy Church of Seiros, I HEREBY SENTENCE-”

(Akechi) “Oh, SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!”

Akira and Akechi raised their pistols and unloaded all of their ammo into the Inquisitor.

He took all the bullets to his chest and fell on his back.

(Inquisitor) “...Hmph. I should have known that talking with such savages was pointless.

[Insatiable - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers]

White blood flowed from the bottom of the helmet while sharp claws burst out from the sides of his body.

His legs began twitching as the rest of his body began to glow a bright white, and that light began to form itself into an insectoid like shape.

When the Inquisitor finished transforming, he had turned into a massive hybrid with the legs of and stinger of a scorpion, but the body of a human with soulless eyes with a golden lance and shield.

The lesser angels rushed towards the groups first, but were easily mowed down by the Phantom Thieves and Class VII’s guns.

The Black Eagles and Blue lions rushed in first ahead of their leaders weapons drawn.

The Inquisitor moved forward slowly, his legs skittering across the floor as he raised his lance.

The stinger impaled the ground, with Sylvain and Felix dodging out the way barely in time.

They were blown back by the impact of the stinger and the ground that shot out from it.

Petra and Dedue swung their weapons at the stinger, but the cut was not deep enough to deal any real damage.

His stinger moved back and dragged Petra and Dedue with him, flinging them into the air.

Ingrid’s pegasus flew into the air, catching Dedue by having him land on the pegasus while grabbing Petra’s hand.

The weight was throwing her pegasus off, and the Inquisitor’s shield arm rose up and struck them into a nearby building.

(Rean) “Valimar, what’s your status?!”

(Valimar) Awakener. It is likely I will run out of energy if I were to intervene.

(Rean) “Damn it!”

(Akira) “ARSENE!”

(Minato/Minako) “THANATOS!”

Akira, Minato and Minako summoned their Personas to fight the Inquisitor head on.

Rean motioned some of the group to follow him as those three kept him distracted.

Thanatos’s sword blocked the Stinger that almost impaled him while Arsene blew away the lance arm from making another attack.

The Inquisitor rose a shield without looking as the Persona Users and Class VII opened fire with their guns.

The bullets reflected off the golden shield, not even leaving a scratch.

(Crow) “Well, that’s just great!”

Fie looked at his legs and reached for her belt.

(Fie) “Frag out!”

The grenade landed next to his legs and exploded, making him tilt slightly.

(Inquisitor) “TCH, INSOLENT FOOLS!”

He spun his torso around with his lance aiming straight for them.

The winds from the lance forced Thanatos and Arsene back, lest their users would get blown back as well.

The lance stabbed through the roof they were on and the entire building gave out from underneath them.

Ashe, Bernadetta, and Yukari fired arrows directly into the eyes. They landed their mark and the Inquisitor recoiled in pain.

Dimitri and Edelgard held their relic weapons and jumped into the air, striking directly into his chest.

A bright light shone from where their weapons were crushing into him, and they landed with smiles on their faces.

It quickly dissipated when they found the Inquisitor still standing.

The wounds he had sustained were slowly regenerating. 

(Akihiko) “Pretty clear we’ll end up dead if we keep throwing ourselves into him!”

Linhardt and Towa rushed to get everyone from the building who was injured while the others stood there confused.

(Shinjiro) “What do we do?”

...

After finishing off the last Lesser Angel, Doomguy looked at the bridge and saw a massive scorpion monster there.

His visor picked up the distinct red and blue colors of Edelgard and Dimitri.

The Blue Lions and Black Eagles tried rushing at him but that didn’t work.

It was clear to him that they couldn’t fight that thing alone.

Ignoring the sound of gunfire, he looked around for a way to get into the fight quickly.

And that was when he noticed a catapult he hadn’t destroyed yet at this gate.

...

(Rean) “There’s no choice! Heed my call...VALI-...?!”

In the sky, there was some sort of humanoid shaped person dropping in-

No, it was a person!

Doomguy landed on top of the recoiling Inquisitor, and shoved his wristblade straight into his neck.

(Angelica) “Where the heck did he come from?!”

Doomguy looked at them with his free hand and motioned them away.

(Rean) “He’s buying us time, we gotta get out of here!”

(Dorothea) “And leave him to fight that thing?!”

Doomguy activated a sword and jumped off his back.

(Towa) “I-I’m pretty sure he’s got this one! Now come on!”

Edelgard and Dimitri nodded and turned to the others.

(Dimitri) “Grab the injured and lets move it to Valimar!”

Before they could move any further, a black portal appeared in front of them.

Doomguy landed on the ground and used his massive sword to cut off the lower half of the Inquisitor’s legs and his stinger in one cut.

As the Inquisitor lost balance, Doomguy grabbed his Super Shotgun and grappled onto the Inquisitor’s neck.

The sword dug itself into his neck, and Doomguy used his momentum to swing himself around, making the sword cut halfway around his neck.

When he landed again he pulled out his biggest weapon, the BFG-10000 and fired a massive green orb at his center.

The Inquisitor’s upper half exploded into chunks of glowing white pieces, the body slumping over.

Doomguy sheathed his guns and was about to move in with the others before realizing the Inquisitor’s body was glowing white.

It was all the pieces he had blown and cut off, fading into bright sparkles before the missing parts formed themselves on his body.

The Inquisitor had regenerated his parts and somehow looked angrier despite the fact his face was incapable of moving.

Doomguy cocked his shotgun before a hand with a black glove and sleeve was put on his shoulder.

(Lahabrea) “I think you have done more than enough, my friend.”

(Inquisitor) “AN AGARTHAN? I THOUGHT THAT YOUR KIND HAD ABANDONED THESE HERETICS.”

(Lahabrea) “They have. But I have not. I’d rather you didn’t kill them, they’re too useful to me.”

(Inquisitor) “YOU ARE IN NO PLACE TO MAKE DEMANDS!”

(Lahabrea) “Yes yes, quiet down now. We will speak later. I’ll make sure your golem is with you.”

He raised his hands into the air and snapped, making everyone teleport away.

The soldiers, The Black Eagles, Blue Lions, and House Isekai in an instant left the battlefield.

...

Garreg Mach Monastery, Present Day…

(Edelgard) “...Lahabrea never did tell us what happened that day.”

(Rean) “We were teleported pretty far, to the point we could see the entire city on a hill. After a few minutes, the sky turned back to black, and he teleported next to us, telling us where to go.”

(Ainz) “But, a siege was ongoing wasn’t it? I doubt it ended JUST because you left.”

(Dimitri) “The only answer we got was...not to worry about it, which does NOT bode well.”

(Yuri) “What? But...We still have reports that you all are in Enbarr. It’s been months since you left, right?”

(Edelgard) “And that’s what has me worried the most...”

(Akira) “Lahabrea told us to come here first before we were to return, and he said not to worry about the time it’ll take to get us here.” 

(Kazuma) “To Garreg Mach? What’s for you guys here?”

(Minato) “Well, first there’s you all, but I don’t think he accounted for that so...”

Minato turned to Sitri.

(Minato) “I think he wanted us to come for her.”

(Sitri) “I find that a little hard to believe, honestly. I’ve been dead for so long I’m not sure I have anything to offer with knowledge.”

(Aqua) “She’s not a fighter either, I’m not sensing any magic from her.”

Emma adjusted her glasses and looked at her as well.

(Emma) “Neither can I.”

(Ainz) “That doesn’t make sense. She was resurrected with what we’re assuming is Dark Magic, right? Then she should have some semblance of magic we can detect...”

Sitri examined herself and put her hand to her chest.

...And that was when she noticed something off.

(Sitri) “Huh?”

(Megumi) “What is it?”

(Sitri) “My...my heart. It’s not beating?”

(Sara) “...Just like Byleth.”

Sitri realized what Sara had said and turned to her.

(Sitri) “His doesn’t beat either? Then how is he...How are either of us alive?”

(Demiurge) “Perplexing. We’re able to detect life force from Byleth, so despite that abnormality he IS indeed alive. You on the other hand...”

(Kazuma) “Wait a second...are you like Wiz?”

(Albedo) “Who is Wiz?”

(Kazuma) “She’s an undead friend of mine, a Lich. If Sitri was resurrected by dark means then...”

Kazuma moved over to Sitri and grabbed her hand.

(Kazuma) “Aqua. Cast some baby healing spell or something.”

Aqua shrugged and did as he asked, a bright light formed from her hands and onto Sitri, making her hand recoil back.

(Sitri) “O-Ow!”

Kazuma reached for Darkness’s hand. She at first hesitated but when Kazuma raised an eyebrow, she sighed and gave it to him.

(Kazuma) “Drain touch.”

(Darkness) “OOOOOOOOW! OWWOWOW!-”

Sitri felt the pain go away in an instant when she felt Darkness’s life force enter her hand.

(Kazuma) “Sorry. And thanks to both of you.”

Sitri reached for her hand and stared at it in confusion.

(Miki) “Does that mean she’s a...?-”

(Junpei) “Holy SHIT, SHE’S A ZOMBIE?!”

(Yukari) “I’d hit you for saying that but...I don’t think thats far off the mark.”

(Cocytus) “THAT EXPLAINS WHY WE CANNOT DETECT HER LIFE FORCE LIKE WE CAN WITH YOU ALL...”

(Yuri) “Wait a second, you knew about this?”

(Shalltear) “It was...just a suspicion we had. We didn’t want to say anything until we were all here.”

(Akira) “Hmph. Fair enough. I think we would’ve done the same thing.”

(Kasumi) “Um, so getting back onto the topic at hand, Lahabrea made us come back for Sitri, who’s now an undead...But why? Why resurrect her at all?”

(Edelgard) “Not to mention how he didn’t bring this up until now. What is he playing at?”

(Kazuma) “And another thing. He seems to have a hard-on for our Household while the rest of the Agarthans just want us dead. I get why we’re important to you guys, but why him?”

(Everyone) “...”

A heavy atmosphere took over the room before Yuki spoke up.

(Yuki) “U-Um, excuse me.”

Everyone turned to her.

(Megumi) “Yuki-chan? What is it?”

(Yuki) “What time is it?”

Ryuji pulled out his phone and checked.

(Ryuji) “Hm...According to the phone, time in Fodlan’s about 9 in the morning. You forget something to do, Takeya?”

(Yuki) “Should...it be THAT bright outside?”

Everyone paused for a moment before slowly turning to the door behind them.

The outside shone an eerily bright white on the grass, and the wind appeared to stop blowing against the trees.

And the sound of footsteps seemed to be approaching from the main hall.

Megumi got the School-Living Club and Sitri behind her as everyone slowly stood up and reached for their weapons...

-----

Year 4, Outskirts of Enbarr...

(Lahabrea) “Yes yes, quiet down now. We will speak later. I’ll make sure your golem is with you.”

He raised his hands into the air and snapped, making everyone teleport away.

The soldiers, The Black Eagles, Blue Lions, and House Isekai in an instant left the battlefield.

As he turned around, another portal appeared beside him.

(Lahabrea) “I trust you find your new sword to your liking, Byleth?”

Byleth stared at the weapon. It resembled and functioned just like the Sword of the Creator, even down to the whip function. But...

(Inquisitor) “Y-...YOU ARE THE-”

(Lahabrea) “Ah, allow me to introduce my friend, good Inquisitor-”

The middle orb started to emit a dark purple, making Byleth’s reflection fade away into black.

Lahabrea looked to the side and saw Byleth’s white hair blowing back from the dark aura flowing from the sword.

Byleth’s free hand moved down his face, the Crest of Flames glowing a bright red and floated in front of him for a brief flash.

He took a step toward the Inquisitor, making him step back in terror.

(Lahabrea) “-Byleth. Wielder of many titles, Child of the Fell Star by the Agarthans, The Ashen Demon by Fodlan and yourselves but to me...

The Warrior of Darkness.”

PART 3: END

[Escape - Darling in the FranXX OST]

The forecasted rain wets us

What should I say to you, as you tremble? My soaked blazer is cold and heavy

I feel as helpless as a chick who’s left its cage. I felt that my dreams were on the other side of the heavy clouds

I digested only the sweet pain that spread in my chest

I wonder if it’d be better if I’d never met you

Hey, I can’t even see the stars

Hey, my tears won’t fall either

To Be Continued in:

[windandwater]

back from Finland and my nightmare flight situation got really fucking funny (and awful) at the end so I’m gonna tell you the whole goddamn thing. cut to save you from Airline Stories.

I mentioned in a previous post that I had to sprint through Heathrow to get to a flight, and it wasn’t my fault. that turned out to be just the beginning but here’s what happened.

airline randomly decided to change my flight to an earlier time

I found out about this from a 3 am text that I read at 8 am on my way to work

cool I have to leave work much earlier

I do that. it was about to rain in New York so it was a good goddamn thing. no subway delays at all.

I sit at the gate for a bit. an hour before boarding, there are still zero airline employees to be found

what the fuck.

I google my flight number. it is not at the gate I’m sitting at.

great.

I walk over to the new gate, the lady there explains “it got changed.”

fine. I’m still on time.

….

the flight is not.

the rain started while I was in the airport and New York is gridlocked, and they barely had enough flight attendants to take off

I check my flight information. I have a connection in Heathrow that’s an hour after my flight and my flight is delayed…you guessed it. an hour.

I’m definitely gonna miss my connecting flight

I accept this (I am on a lot of anxiety medication) to deal with when I get there (thank you, medication!) and go to sleep (so. much. medication.)

arrive in Heathrow

announcement on the plane says that the connecting flight to Helsinki is also delayed, and to see them up front if you are getting on that flight

so I talk to them

“they’re leaving at 8:20 (it is now 7:50), so you can make it but you have to BOOK”

me: “GOT IT.” *takes off*

*accidentally knocks off a baby’s blanket. does not stop, like an asshole. yells EXCUSE ME to every British person in the way, while elbowing them, I’m from fucking New York, MOVE*

“few people runnin' about” happens

gotta go through security first

lady at the desk spins her computer monitor to show me what it says when she scans my boarding pass: “please proceed directly to gate 9”

me: “TRUST ME I FUCKING KNOW”

someone in front of me for some reason has every glass bottle in the world, doesn’t speak enough English for the security people to explain that it’s fine so long as there’s  no food or liquid in them

somehow I get through and make it to the gate

“if you had been 10 minutes later you would’ve caught us, but you’re good!”

phew.

find out later that my family had a similar yet worse experience in Frankfurt. ha.

turns out that was only the fucking beginning. because I still had to come back. here’s how that went.

day 1:

I’m supposed to fly out Saturday at 3 pm. my brother is flying out Saturday at 7 am. Friday night, we are on our way to the BnB and I double check my email.

surprise! my flight has changed. now at 7 am.

ughhhhhhhhhh

fine. I’ll just go to the airport with my brother.

we do that. Air BnB host nice enough to wake up and drive us—for a price, but a pretty good one.

they had a sauna and I had to skip out on using it (I only got to do it once) and I was pretty upset. fuck you, airline.

get to the airport at the asscrack of dawn

I check my email in the car one more time

….

wait a second

the date on this is for Sunday

fuuuuuuuuuuck

screw it, I’ll wait around until their service desk opens and have them put me on a flight

1 hour: nothing

I try and call them. on a janky phone that has issues with phone calls

customer service is closed, because Europe

call the US number

customer service is open and in English but it rings a few times and then I get a message in Icelandic and it hangs up.

….I’m never flying a Scandinavian-based airline ever a-fucking-gain.

2 hours: nothing

fuck. this.

I start googling hotels by the airport instead. check into one. get a shuttle there. room itself isn’t too expensive, but not money I really have.

oh fucking well

I pass out.

wake up, have to leave the hotel to get lunch, come back and read Yuri on Ice fanfic

oh daaamn this hotel has a sauna

tight

get smoked reindeer pasta at the hotel restaurant

go to sauna again

go back the fuck to sleep

day 2:

airport shuttle at the asscrack of dawn but this time I’ve slept all day

feeling annoyed but optimistic. this will suck but at least I’m rested.

get to the airport

once again they have changed the airline on me. this was not self-evident in the email

haul my ass to the right terminal. thank fuck there are only 2.

that last sentence is foreshadowing

in line for getting my ticket (b/c of course I can’t check in at a kiosk) and two people in front of me are going through the same shit. airline answered their phone calls tho and promised them money back

feeling more hopeful

am now flying through Amsterdam. they can’t print my connecting flight boarding pass. I will have to get it printed at the airport when I get there.

there is only an hour between the flights

I am hit with a sudden premonition of doom

but am still hopped up on anxiety medication

here we go again!

make it to Amsterdam with no drama

phone battery is dying. my external battery stopped working abruptly and there’s no charger on the smaller planes. it wouldn’t charge at the gate; was plugged in but draining. I turn it off. charges 2%.

more foreshadowing

I get off the plane and have to ask where to go to get to the correct airline. someone directs me. it’s a different terminal. I run-walk over there, knowing what’s about to happen.

passport control. spend 5 minutes panicking that I don’t have an e-passport b/c I don’t know where to look for the logo. turns out it’s on the front cover! I’m a dumbass.

get there. can’t check in/print off boarding pass

oh boy

have to wait in line for a service rep

this wait takes 35 minutes

I get to the front. my seat reservation somehow does not exist

she manages to print off my ticket. and call them to tell them I’m coming.

looks me in the eye: “you run.”

me: “I run.”

I do that.

new gate is 2 more terminals away

Amsterdam is fucking big and I have now run across 3 terminals of it.

the Dutch are better at moving out of the way than the English

I make it to the gate and people are there yelling “New York? New York!!” make it on the plane. phone won’t charge. ...... great.

no podcasts for me! I watch a Stonewall documentary, a gay rom com, and a slew of nature documentaries.

at least I’m on brand.

make it to New York in one piece. meet a nice German lady and everything.

it was hell coming back here from Greece but from Scandinavia it’s fucking amazing.

anyway

slight panic after going through passport control. I handed them my receipt, promptly forgot I did that, then got my baggage and began looking for my receipt to show to the next set of cops.

receipt was gone

ummmmmm

I empty out my entire bag

nothing

I ask the lady next to me if they kept the receipt

she says yes they did and I nearly collapse. guess there’s no next set of cops this time around. it’s different every fucking time.

she sympathizes. we have a nice chat. she has family in Helsinki and just got back from Greece and Italy.

Scandinavians are not friendly. FUCK I missed New York.

because some people will assume otherwise if i don’t say so: it was not a white lady. I really really missed New York.

I manage to make it to my subway stop with no more drama than wondering why I’m the only person on the train

I realized literally this morning that it’s almost a holiday weekend. oops.

make it to my apartment door

they installed a new front door while I was in another fucking country

(there were issues with the old one)

sign on the door says go see the super. who never answers his door, only the phone.

my phone battery is now at 10%

….

super’s not answering his phone. or the door.

7%

text and call neighbors who live near me. leave messages. try not to panic.

feel raindrops

look up

there’s a storm cloud coming in

I hear thunder

this is the point where I started laughing

I try the super’s other number

“uhhh you changed the door”
 “you were sleeping!”
 “I was in FINLAND!” 
“okay, give me a minute, I’m on my way”

5%

turn phone off

super appears. I am not soaking wet and laughing hysterically. yet. if he’d been any later it would’ve been another story

make it inside. plug in phone. it’s at 3%

answer all my family’s frantic texts, order food delivery, take a shower, go the fuck to sleep, and sleep 14 hours. felt fucking great.

go to work today because it’s 4th of July and if I don’t I’ll only be in for two days. oh well!

[axupodz]

30 Amazing Questions Only A Genius Could Answer.

( insert obvious clickbait thumbnail)

As requested by @judyxd26

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY MY OWN OPINION. DONT @ ME

JUST MONIKA (I see you there)

Probably Yuri. The Shy/Yandere anime trope has been used a little too much recently.

Has to be "Your Reality". I gives me the feels everytime. EVERYTIME.

"Sayo-nara" gotta be my least fav. Not because its bad or anything. It just gives me scary flashbacks of Sayori. TOO SPOOPY FOR ME.

Most afraid? Hmm, if ur talking about the jumpscares, I would say Natsuki when she snaps her neck. (DID I SAY THERE'S SPOILERS HERE?)

I would say Monika. I always try too hard for attention :3

Look most familiar?? First of all, im a dude. *LOOKING AT MALE VER DDLC CAST* ok, its either Sayori or Monika. Can't decide tbh.

I used my first name BOI. GOTTA HAVE THE FULL IMMERSION.

10/10. Despite the warnings everytime you open the game and at the game page, I never took it to consideration. Sayori's death really took me by surprise.

Sayori maybe? MC's texts during that part was deep. If deleting Monika is considered a death, I would say thats the most saddest one. Monika realised the mistakes she made and she regretted them. But it was too late as she was slowly getting deleted. On a side note: I didnt delete her in the end, her conversations were very interesting. My sister forced me to delete her tho :/

(Lets keep the next few questions short, Im trying to get some sleep 😪) Sayori: I like that she's optimistic. But she's too sensitive i'd say.

Short girls are cute. Manga IS literature. DONE.

I like that she's shy and all but im not very fond of the idea of playing with knifes. DONE.

SHE IS BEST GIRL. SHE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT FEELS REAL. SHE DESERVES A ROUTE. SHE IS A GODDESS SEND FROM THE HEAVENS. SHE THICC BOI, FIGHT ME. (I should have been a little more serious😅 There is more reasons at Question 29.)

Monika's poem. DONE.

NOPE, IM A HYPROCRITE. TRIED ONCE, FAILED BADLY.

I would if I COULD ACTUALLY FINISH READING MY BOOKS FOR ONCE. *glares at the full collection of Harry Potter at the corner of the room*

Pretty often. Not enough to fix my spelling tho.

Once. The English Club at school. Pretty boring.

Like I said before, im a dude. Soo yea, MC is my only option.

Yuri. For obvious reasons.

There isnt a character that I "want" to be a guy but i'd say Sayori looks fine as both genders.

I havent seen any fanart of Monika as an animal yet. So, Monika then.

If Monika had a route I would totally pick that one. Since she doesnt, i would pick Natsuki's.

Probably Stephen King

They did such an amazing indie game last year. Can't wait for the next one.

Yuri i guess. My yandere mode becomes active sometimes :3

Actually I have. Not the best experience.

(Skip this one if you want to. It's veryyy long.WARNING, It's about to get serious) I actually sat through a good 50+ minutes talking with Monika.In that time, she tells me how every time I quit the game, she feels like she's "dying", and enters a "living Hell" full of static screaming, flashing and darkness, and despite the fact that she feels as if her mind is disjointed in this space, she's still aware enough to remember it all every time we come back. There's also the fact she's fully aware all of her "friends" are simply mindless programs lacking free-will whose sole purpose in existence is falling in love with the player.I quit and loaded up the game a few times, and she asks you multiple times to please not put her through that torment, but eventually just says she'll have to relent that you can't always have the game open.Then I kept going, and got Sayori to tell me how she's super appreciative that I took the time to get to know them all and help them with their problems (however little I actually did), and that they all loved me. Credits are rolling, and I notice that the CG's aren't being deleted, until the very ending where the entirety of the Main Menu is deleted.I fucking broke Monika's heart and she subjected herself to living in an eternal near-death hellish blackness, and still the last thing she does for me is sing me a song about how much she loves me and wishes I'd been able to love her back. Deleting her causes her pain, but she was still conscious of everything and in control of the game files. Quitting puts her in a near-death state filled with suffering.I know it's only an AR game and none of it's real, but I'm literally sitting here with tears in my eyes because no matter what you do, Monika is doomed to an existence of agony, and the last thing she believes is that we probably hated her.I can't handle that shit, man, I didn't need to know. Couldn't you even let us believe there was some solace?

The game broke me psychologically and left me traumatized for 3 days.Sayori's arc made me feel sick to my stomach and sad, Yuri's arc scared me, and Monika's arc broke my heart and made me sad again.What part of psychology makes depressing horror enjoyable? Why did I love and enjoy a game that hurts? Maybe because the characters are so real and I've grown attached to them? I don't know. Either way I love DDLC, the community, and the fan content, but I don't know why. I guess it's because the main grip of the game is the 4 girls themselves, you grow so attached to them that it feels like your losing close friends. Making characters in any video game likable is hard but this game is an example of it done right, adding along with the story makes DDLC truly an experience.( finally, im done. I need a rest rn before I have a mental breakdown)

[utopianparadoxist]

ok so i posted this when i was outright reeling from posting that Big Post and just keeping my mind busy so i wouldnt go bananas, but it would be incredibly irresponsible of me to put this out there and then not make this clear:

Penguindrum is an incredibly dense, abstract, but most of all deeply challenging and uncomfortable work that deals head on with basically any triggering subject imaginable from child abuse and csa, to incest and trauma boding, to capitalism and terminal illness and grief and survivors guilt, to animal death and outright terrorist attacks.

it is extremely not a show to approach lightly if you're in any way sensitive to anything like that, and even saying this much i am not confident my list is exhaustive so i suggest looking up trigger warnings before looking up the show.

As far as understanding it goes, I heavily suggest watching Revolutionary Girl Utena first at a minimum as it is basically a spiritual sequel to that show. Sarazanmai and Yuri Kuma Arashi which are just as intense but at least shorter works are a decent idea for prep as well. In general Penugindrum is the show I would recommend watching *last* among Ikuhara's oeuvre out of all four of his originals, even though Sarazanmai is technically a spiritual sequel to it, because Penguindrum is simply that complex and emotionally demanding an experience.

Penguindrum also demands a certain amount of familiarity with Japanese literature; in particular, it is hopeless trying to understand its plot if you haven't read Night on the Galactic Railroad, and you should probably do some reading on the 1995 tokyo subway gas attacks to boot.

Really, my suggestion would be to track down the @imaginemeandutena podcast gang on your podcast app of choice, and follow the shows along with them so you can benefit from their incredible insight, empathy, and sophisticated grasp on culture and abuse and so many other issues that need careful navigating in order to grasp the moral nuance that guides Ikuhara's narratives.

I was lucky enough to be allowed to guest with them for a podcast episode after they finished Yuri Kuma, and just recently got to join them for ep 18 of Mawaru Penguindrum, followed by an end of season wrap up after they finished the show where I got to talk about some of my ideas about the ending and nature of the narrative. I thought we'd be in it for an hour and a half or so, but that recording ended up being like 3 hours >_>.

Take me seriously when I say I think that conversation was in the top 5 I've ever had in my life, and the fact that the gang was not only interested in my ideas, but challenged them, put them to the test, surprised me by coming up with insights on the fly that complicated and evolved them, and ultimately seemed to agree with my perspective and regard it as their answer to the show to some extent, though I'm sure they'll all go on to develop their own variations and complications and entirely seperate readings from there over time too!

But Y'all.

Arriving at that perspective took me literally 10 years. Penguindrum came out in 2011, I watched it serially as it came out week after week, and ever sense the final episode there has been some part of my brain constantly trying to unpack and put together exactly what the fuck is going on in that ending. the fact that it feels like I've arrived at an answer that feels meaningful and i actually managed to convince smart people I respect that there's merit to it?

At least as big a rush as anything I ever got from Homestuck, and honestly maybe more, I love Homestuck intensely but Ikuhara really is that big for me.

That podcast episode is one of the best things I've ever been a part of and I cannot fucking wait for it to go live, I am actively stamping down my hopes that it might lead to actual changes and new directions in conversations about Penguindrum and I want to see whether that happens or not so so fucking bad its unreal.

anyway sorry i know you asked me about Doom, not an anime that has nothing to do with Homestuck, but you've gotta understand that Penguindrum did more to teach me about Doom and it's symbolic and thematic underpinnings than Homestuck arguably ever did. It is THE perfect show for Doombound and if you dont wanna take it from me you can ask my Page of Doom friend @captainquestionart

anyway. thats my opinion on that lol

doom, for me at least, is still the most confusing aspect, could you maybe give a short analysis on it?

Watch mawaru penguindrum

[notdeadjack]

Annual rec list 2018 edition

Multi-fandom reclist y’all!

Fandoms represented: 7

Part 1: Voltron: 37 fics Teen Wolf: 155 fics

Part 2: Boku no Hero Academia: 9 fics Yuri!!! on Ice: 3 fics Harry Potter: 2 fics Marvel: 23 fics Kingsman: 21 fics

250 fics, under the cut!

uuh, pay attention to the author’s tags for potential triggers. I highly recommend opening this in your browser and use the “find in page” feature to skip to the fandom/ships relevant to your interests.

if this shows up on your dash and the “read more” isn’t working, I am so sorry.

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Voltron

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/13575843     What comes through the bond by sedna_mode    5k, gen, 

Pidge gets her period. The boys feel echoes of it 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12045429    Change of Plans by kitausu    26k, Lance/Shiro, AU, 

When Shiro is left at the alter, he decides to go on his honeymoon alone. Enter Lance, the man Shiro had hired to take him and his would-be bride on a month long tour of Europe.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892394     Strike a Match by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)    5k, Shiro & Lance, 

Shiro realizes why his head hurts, and Lance is faced with the reality of responsibility. Based on art by Littlecofeiart.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12282321    Signals by epiproctan    40k, Lance/Shiro, Shiro/Keith, Lance/Shiro/Keith, sex pollen, friends with benefits, pining, STDs,

Space is infinite, and varied, and the possibilities that exist in it are numerous. Despite knowing this, Shiro never imagined that he’d find himself the host of alien bacteria that makes him frequently and unbearably horny. That’s exactly where he ends up though, which is unfortunate for a number of reasons discussed herein, but namely because emotions are messy, and so is biology, and so is war. But maybe somewhere between words like, “It’s just sex,” and, “You’re like a brother to me,” three people can find love. And the mission that ruins Shiro’s life might just be the one that saves him, too.

(Or, Shiro fucks up, fucks Lance, and fucks Keith over. And things are never the same again.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13864146    it's all about the team by clairelutra (exosolarmoon)    1k, Lance/Shiro, pre-slash, 

Lance, Shiro, and an escape from formal execution. All in the day of the universe's legendary defenders, right?

It was only halfway there that he realized that he didn't have a clue how to hand Shiro the key when the key was most definitely not in his hand and he had no way of discreetly getting it there. He couldn't exactly hand Shiro the key with his mouth.

Lance wasn't very good at forethought today, was he.

He kept paddling even as his extremities went numb at the realization, his mind silently, helplessly reeling as Shiro approached like oncoming doom.

Wait, he thought when he was a mere five feet away from Shiro. Mouth.

Lance had a mouth. Shiro also had a mouth.

There actually was a way he could hand Shiro the key, it just didn't involve hands.

...This was going to be awkward as fuck.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12234321    As The Flower Blooms by aestivali    7k, Lance/Shiro, sex pollen, bottom shiro, 

While undertaking a mission on an alien planet, Lance and Shiro encounter some troublesome flora - and need each other's help to ride out the effects. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948963    The Last Blues by Atalto    3k, Lance/Shiro, h/c, 

He’s left with Red, with Lance, who invited him in with an uncertain, almost nervous smile, who rambled unconsciously all the way from entrance to cockpit, who sat him down with a small bowl of rehydrated food goo and a cup of milk that he promised was pasteurised.

Shiro thinks he needs space after coming back, but the truth is far from that. In fact, all he wants is contact after being alone for years, which Lance is happy to oblige.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14701146    Never Better by avoidingavoidance    3k, Lance/Shiro, 

After a hard battle, Lance comes to comfort Shiro, and both of them end up being more honest with each other than they'd intended.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874268    Listen by SuccubustyKisses    43k, Lance/Shiro, clones, 

When you can’t hear what you’re told to, you find another way to hear it. Or: Lance can’t stop thinking about what Shiro was trying to tell him, and as a result he makes a life changing decision. 

Preview: “Shiro!” Lance wakes up with a scream, sitting up in his bed. His hand is held in front of him as his chest heaves. Curling his fingers into a fist he pulls his hand down in front of his face, fighting back the frustration bubbling in his chest. “God damn it, Shiro.”

Knowing he’s not going to get back to sleep Lance stands up, stretching his arms up high above his head. With a yawn he settles back down and slips his feet into his slippers, one red lion and one blue. With a sigh of resignation he opens his door and shuffles quietly into the hallway. His feet lead the way as his mind struggles to leave his dream and catch up. Before he can realize it he’s standing in front of Red, hands fisted at his sides.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12816384    Circle by starbear (panda_hiiro)    13k, Lance/Shiro, 

(Shiro POV) A routine exploration mission goes awry, and leaves Lance and Shiro with an inexplicable connection to each other. In attempting to untangle the new bond between them, they draw closer to each other, but is that actually a good thing?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14485782    do you got plans tonight? by kalakauuas    5k, Lance/Shiro, AU, 

Lance doesn’t know this guy, but he knows that being stood up is no fun, so. He takes matters into his own hands.

(and maybe holds Shiro’s while he’s at it.)

...

alternate title: just according to keikaku* *keikaku means plan

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13784256    Little Talk by sxofstardust    1k, Lance/Shiro, pining, 

    “Hey, uh… are you okay?” Came the dreaded question, the grimace to follow upon hearing it being completely against his will, and poorly did he conceal it with an aversion of his gaze. “Whoa, okay, I’ll take that as a no…” A pause, followed by the sound of shuffling which tempted Shiro to look and see just what exactly the other was doing. “… Do you… wanna talk about it?” Lance sounded far too enthusiastic in the offer.

    With a hesitant look tossed the boy’s way, Shiro could practically see the hopeful gleam in his eyes, bright and blinding. Lance appeared ready to leap into action, as though he had something to prove, though what exactly that was, Shiro hadn’t the faintest. Still, the offer had been presented to him, and though words of dismissal had been on the tip of his tongue, the elder found himself hesitating.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14308173    Relax by robotjellyfish    1k, Lance/Shiro, massage,

Lance's hands are like magic on Shiro's tense shoulders

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15035519    Sit Next To Me by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)    12k, multi, innuendo, massage, scars, flowercrowns,  fluff, 

A series of fills for Shiro Ship Week 2018

Day 1 - Flowers (Sheith) inspired by this art by Gitwrecked Day 3 - Stars (Shunk) Day 7 - Scars (Shance)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14961512    I Want to be There for You by DeathByStorm    1k, Lance/Shiro, 

“You've been avoiding me,” Shiro said. “Did you want to talk about it?"

"No," Lance said. He rested his chin on his arm and looked resolutely out across the dead water hoping Shiro would take the hint and leave.

"I guess I'll just sit here and enjoy the sunset with you then," Shiro said. He leaned on the same rock that Lance was sitting against and crossed his ankles. Lance narrowed his eyes and nope, Shiro was definitely ignoring the fact that he wanted to be left alone right now.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15233076    Ignorance is Bliss by DeathByStorm    4k, Lance/Shiro, 

Or four times Lance pined after Shiro, and the one time Shiro noticed and did something about it. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15274980    A Visible Soul by fenfyre (Jace)    24k, Lance/Shiro, monsters and mana AU, praise kink, virgin!Shiro, 

There was no doubt in Pike's mind: He'd leave the others again as soon as possible. All the more reason to have some fun with the handsome paladin.    

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832060    Coming Through The Noise by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)    28k, gen, truth serum, PTSD, fluff, 

Shiro is in the habit of keeping things to himself. He's always been private, and he prefers to keep his thoughts to himself unless there's a reason to share.

He doesn't get that option anymore.

Or: Shiro got hit with truth spell magic and he might drop dead of embarrassment

Also Or: 5 times Shiro told the truth (because magic made him do it)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756066     On Camera by kitausu    11k, Hunk/Keith, AU, cam boy, praise kink, fluff, 

Keith wasn’t exactly the traditional camboy but It wasn’t like Hunk had any experience with this sort of thing. Mostly, he was hard and his normal tricks just weren’t doing it and he was making dumb decision entirely navigated by his dick (like handing his credit card number off to a camboy website in the first place).

Otherwise known as the heith camboy au no one asked for but I’ve been talking about for 600 years.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15604098    Per Aspera by fenfyre (Jace)    10k, Lance/Shiro(/Shiro), praise kink, angst, astral threesome, 

Lance wasn't sure when it had started, couldn't pinpoint an exact date, but if he had to try, he'd say it was sometime after him and Shiro had connected through that psychic link during a battle.

~

When Lance and Shiro take a quiet moment in the Black Lion the strange visions Lance has been having get a little out of control.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420975   lead us into battle and i'll lead you in a dance by ghiblitears   3k, Lance/Shiro, pining, 

Two aliens have eyes for Lance at a diplomatic party. Shiro intervenes.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16698706    take a trip to your dark side by Hymn    6k, Lance/Shiro, rough sex, 

It's just one of those days, sometimes.

----

Shiro narrowed his eyes, leaning back. “Don’t push me, Lance.”

“Oh?” Lance raised his eyebrows mockingly. He stepped closer, put out one hand and poked Shiro in the chest with it, hard enough to be not only rude, but annoying, a deliberate physical taunt to go with the verbal. “And if I do, Shiro? What are you going to do? You want to have a bad day, fine. But then I’m going to treat you just like the rest of us, I’m going to push, and I’m going to needle, and I’m going to tell you that you can’t just be a dick ‘cause you’re not feeling like --”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16518809    The curl of your lips in the centre of eclipse by thatsformetoknow    1k, Lance/Shiro, touch starved Shiro, 

Kissing Lance hadn’t been on his morning schedule when he’d woken up today, but somehow here he was; on Lance’s bed, with Lance in his lap, Lance all over him everywhere and Shiro really for the life of him couldn’t bring himself to push Lance away, didn’t want to at all.

Because god, he had one hand in his hair and one hand cupping his face, gently brushing over his skin and tilting his head upwards and it was all Shiro could manage to part his lips when Lance licked at them.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930270   hold on tight by Hymn    5k, Lance/Shiro, pwp, establish relationship, sleepy ex, bottom shiro,

“‘m too tired to do anything,” Shiro warned, not quite certain he actually meant it.

“You can just sleep,” Lance said, voice muffled by his shirt. “I don’t mind. I missed you, dude. I missed cuddles, and like, your smell, and the feel of having you in my arms, y’know?”

Shiro wasn’t too tired to smile, at least, his heart picking up the pace, stomach fluttering with butterflies. “Yeah?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17046572    FootWork by AshesTheTerrible    7k, Lance/Shiro, clubbing, rough sex, 

Shiro wasn't the same person he used to be. He used to be wild and young and free. Maybe those parts of himself had been lost along the way.

But for one night, he's determined to reclaim them. Lance is hardheaded and obnoxious and he's everything that makes Shiro want to give into those more primal urges again.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16811572    easier to lose by quiddative    42k, Lance/Shiro, AU, hockey, 

"It's easier to lose than to win." - Wayne Gretzky

Shiro is at the peak of his NHL career. Unfortunately, being famous has its downsides, particularly when it comes to dating. And that’s on top of the fact that he’s still in the closet.

However, a chance meeting with college student Lance, who seems to be the only person in the entire city who doesn’t know who he is, gives him hope that maybe he won’t die alone after all. Just as long as he can keep his identity a secret.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910493/chapters/39728568   Goodbye by SpicyJam, chapter 1: kidge - dirty grind     1k, Pidge/Keith, sparring, dry humping, 

request:

i know you just pointed out that we’re all v thirsty for the sweet kidge content and you’re so right.. short drabble prompt: some good old fashioned ‘accidental’ grinding during a sparring session kidge?

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14279403    Behind the Mask by Hannaadi88    4k, Lance/Shiro, aliens made them do it, master/pet, undercover, 

Accompanying Shiro to a shady meeting with the leader of the Malachim Shechoreem (or the 'Space Mafia', as he liked to call them), Lance poses as the Black Paladin's pet to add to Shiro's credibility among those who own them.

And while Lance certainly looks the part, neither of them expected him to actually have to play it.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14480427    Old School by chashuu    8k, Blaytz/Lance/Shiro, smut, 

When they found Blaytz in an old cryo-pod, hidden away on a planet they’d fought so hard to liberate from Zarkon’s Empire, even Allura didn’t realize exactly who he was at first. The man was a legend, and honestly, an all around amazing guy. That being said, Lance would learn very quickly that the lessons the original Blue Paladin had to teach really were the best thing that ever happened to him.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16378742     the importance of being idle by wajjs    15k, Lance/Shiro, future fic, 

It's been years since the war has ended and Lance just keeps running away.   

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/10024043    Gunna Go Far, Kid by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)    3k, gen, de-aged!Shiro, 

Shiro finds himself in the body of a six year old. Again.

He's not any more happy about it.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11621454    Brace for Impact by shyfoxes    15k, Lance/Shiro, AU, fight club, 

"Not to be rude, my guy,” Lance said, “but you’re wrong. You are worth it. I’m going to prove it to you.”

“By doing what exactly?” Shiro asked, exasperated. “Standing outside Galra Tech with a sign? Spray-painting Zarkon’s car? There’s nothing you can do, Lance.”

Lance held his chin up. “What if I fight you?”

Shiro blinked, jaw dropping. “What?”

“What if I fight you? What if I fight everyone on that list to get to you?” Lance exclaimed. “If I win, you come with me. If I lose - I’ll leave you alone, forever.”

Or, underground fighter Shiro finally learns how to hope again from a persistent guy named Lance.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817205   Full Moons and the Mornings After by Impetus    6k, Lance/Shiro, AU, fluff, 

Lance really needs to stop letting stray wolves into his apartment.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910051    honey and seawater by your bed by lacking    2k, Lance/Shiro, nightmares, 

Lance’s head whips up, his shoulders rolling back as his spine straightens, standing at attention like he’s a fresh-faced cadet snapping off a salute to Iverson for the first time. Pidge and Hunk share a look, eyebrows raised with their lips pressed flat, amused or bewildered by Lance’s reaction, but Shiro makes a sound, metal knuckles pressed against the curve of his mouth, ducking his head as Lance sputters and asks the alien to repeat himself.

“You probably shouldn’t get your hopes up,” Hunk says, stage-whispering behind his hand as their escort leads them out of the citadel. “We don’t know what their definition of a beach is.”

-

Lance reflects on his changing relationship with Shiro, understanding both a little more and a lot less than he realizes.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13791507   from your heart by godsensei    2k, Lance/Shiro, injury, 

“If you pull this off, Lance,” Shiro says, moving his hand so Hunk can begin applying bandage pressure to the wound, “I’ll make out with you.”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089259    You're All That I Want by saecchii   6k, Lance/Shiro, abo, beta/omega, pining, 

Lance doesn't think Betas deserve to be with anyone but Betas. Why would an Alpha or an Omega want him? Surprise, an Omega does want him and he won't let some stupid Earth culture stop him.

Ft. Omega!Shiro & Beta!Lance

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12773484   light up the sky by scriveyner (trismegistus)   27k, Lance/Shiro, abo, omega!shiro, pining, 

There was no reason for him to be so upset. Lance let out a groan and buried his head in his arms, ears gone pink. So Shiro had a crush on Allura, so did Lance. Big deal. So Shiro liked to almost inappropriately touch Keith and be overly familiar toward him like they were boyfriends or something, so what? Maybe they were just really close friends. Or maybe Lance was trying too hard to buy into his own delusions and was just going to end up majorly disappointed. Lance groaned again, louder now, and then lifted his head and squinted out at the water.

Had it only been a week he’d been mooning over Shiro?

.

.

Teen Wolf

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4880440      Not Quite Lost (Not Quite Found) by alocalband     25k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, bed sharing, fluff,

A year after the nogitsune is defeated, Derek is living a quiet life in the mountains above a small town in Colorado.

Then Stiles shows up.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/4064446     Windows by dr_girlfriend     83k, Stiles/Derek, AU, disability, slow burn, 

Derek has a new neighbor who won't stop looking.

Excerpt:

“You’re blind,” Derek said flatly, the anger draining from him so suddenly he felt almost woozy. His vision cleared, his claws sliding back into blunt fingernails.

“Thanks for the memo, genius,” the kid said acidly. “I can still fucking defend myself, so don’t take another damn step.”

“Fuck, I...I’m sorry,” Derek stuttered.

“What?!” The kid’s brow crinkled. “I mean — what?! You’re fucking sorry!?” His lips thinned into a harsh line. “What, is this some kinda Hallmark movie where you’re discovering the error of your ways because you don’t want to rob a blind person?! That’s fucking condescending, man. I’ll have you know that —”

“Just, wait.” Derek interrupted what was apparently the start of a convincing argument as to why he should rob the kid after all, feeling his head start to spin. “This is — it’s a misunderstanding. I’m — I’m not robbing you. You’re — you’re safe, okay? I’m taking three steps back. Just — just let me explain.”

“Explain why you came busting into my apartment? Yeah, go right ahead, man, I can’t wait to hear this epic tale.”

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2552132     Love Thy Neighbour by cywscross    22k, Peter/Stiles, canon-AU, fluff, 

In which Stiles is an emancipated minor, and – after Peter Hale comes back from the dead – gains a zombie werewolf for a neighbour.

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/2209359     All's Fair in Love and Videogames by taylorpotato     22k, Peter/Stiles, cybersex, light BDSM, daddy kink, 

Neither of them is aware of it, but Peter and Stiles play the same MMORPG. After Stiles moves away from Beacon Hills and goes to college, he and Peter start raiding together by accident. 

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1058001     (Fake) Winter Weather Brings Us Together by Rawren (Zimothy)    10k, Stiles/Derek, 

So naked cuddling with Derek while suffering from hypothermia wasn't really on Stiles' to-do list for the week, but neither was that kiss--so who was Stiles to complain?

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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7515700     Stiles Stilinski, Boyfriend Extraordinaire by MereLoup    14k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fluff and crack, 

“Beacon County Sheriff's Department, this is deputy Mahealani speaking.”

“Oh thank god!”

“Stiles?”

“I, uh, I need some advice.”

“Advice?”

“Yeah. So, hypothetically, say you met your boyfriend’s mother and sister for the first time ever. Completely by accident. In the grocery store. And they convinced you to help them make a dinner to surprise aforementioned boyfriend when he got home after work. What would you do?”

Danny paused, and then, “Stiles, you don’t have a boyfriend.”

“That’s not the point! And I said hypothetically.”

“Stiles...what are you doing right now?”

***

Stiles never imagined he’d be in Derek’s kitchen cooking a surprise dinner with Derek’s family while they waited for Derek to get home from work.

Partly because their visit was a complete surprise.

But mostly because Stiles didn’t have a boyfriend.

Or even know who Derek was.

But he’d already come this far and Papa didn’t raise no quitter!

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1001802     Inertia by apocryphal    21k, Stiles/Derek, road trip, angst, fluff, 

The last thing Derek and Cora are expecting to find outside their motel room is a gaunt Stiles Stilinski, lacrosse bag on one shoulder and the weight of the world on the other.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/2297084     Seeing Wolves (Where There Are No Wolves) by MellytheHun    71k, Stiles/Derek, slow burn, therapy, pining, 

Or otherwise known as "Derek Goes to the Doctor," wherein Derek gets the therapy he so desperately needs and gets healthy. The clearer his head gets, the more room it seems to have for Stiles.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5168423     The Socioeconomic Repercussions of Mutually Assured Destruction by alocalband    15k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, pining, obliviousness, 

"The trouble with having the kind of brain that likes to write essays on male circumcision for an Economics class, is that it also likes to turn PowerPoint presentations for Biology into odes on the perfection of notorious bad boy Derek Hale’s backside."

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1071015     Just A Few Extra Benefits by heartsdesire456     13k, Stiles/Derek, friends with benefits, 

When Derek comes to Stiles with a confession that he has trust issues that make any sex life impossible, he offers Stiles a mutually beneficial proposal:

They are close friends who trust each other explicitly, therefore, they can have sex with each other and take care of both his intimacy issues and Stiles's 'virginity' issue all in one no-strings-attached deal.

Derek and Stiles are comfortable with their arrangement... It's everybody else that is waiting for their friendship to be damaged beyond repair.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1913811     The Time Traveler’s Prerogative by weathervaanes     9k, Stiles/Derek, de-aging, fluff, 

After the events of "117", Derek doesn't magically transform back into his twenty-five-year-old body. Instead, he's stuck as a sixteen-year-old for an unknown amount of time. So the pack has to learn to deal with it.

-0-

Stiles looks down at his hands and considers it. “If we could time travel, like my dad said,” he starts, “if you could find Derek in my dad's office wrapped up in my dad's coat with his face all full of ash not even able to look his sister in the eye, and you could be there for him, and not leave him alone, and not let him take the fall for everything Kate did to him, would you?”

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/949047     Silver Only Shines in the Moonlight (And I Rise With My Red Hair) by yourguardianangel    26k, Stiles/Derek, vampirism, bloodplay, 

Stiles died alone.

He didn’t honestly know what he had been expecting; he had made it a habit to hang out with (and occasionally fight) bloodthirsty supernatural creatures of the night, and that had become a more frequent occurrence after all of that Darach business a while back. As the warmth of his blood seeped steadily through his fingers and onto the cold, filthy floor, he realized that no one was coming, that no one would be there in time. Stiles couldn’t help the single whimper of utter helplessness. --- Stiles becomes a member of the rapidly growing Beacon Hills supernatural population, to his own disgust, and along the way he finds out a thing or two about himself and the people he cares about most.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1818415     How I Met My Werebunny by Moku    19k, Stiles/Derek, pranks, fluff, 

“This is going to end in tears,” Scott told Derek while he watched the man easily lifting Stiles’ desk up with one hand and driving nails into the ceiling with the thumb of the other. “Probably mine.”

Or:

When a Stiles and a Failwolf love each other very much, they’ll engage in a prank war. Basically, it's a mating ritual for dorks in love.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/640428     Delicate by livthelion    27k, Stiles/Derek, 

It’s been two days and Derek has apparently overcome his aversion to making himself comfortable in Stiles’ room. “Derek, that’s my shirt.”

“Yes.” He gives Stiles a look, your point?

Stiles grinds his teeth. “Why are you wearing my shirt?”

“I ran out of clean ones.”

Obviously.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1267789     Relationship Status: It's complicated by kellifer_fic     4k, Stiles/Derek, fake relationship, 

Okay, I know this is a huge stretch for you, but can you please pretend you're like, into me?  

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/631410     Truth or Dare by violentcrumbles    8k, Stiles/Derek, curse, 

Derek can't tell the truth. At all. It's funny until it isn't.

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5180441    Hide Your Lies by planiforidjit    11k, Stiles/Derek, 

Derek and Stiles have been secretly together this whole time!   

.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/4020778    Untamed by rosepetals42    28k, Stiles/Derek, AU, harry potter, 

Of course, the transfer kid gets mentioned because transfers are rare, but the news isn’t that exciting. In fact, according to Laura, no one even seems to know his first name. The only thing anyone has really figured out about him is that he’s American. And that’s not exactly hard because he obviously has an accent.

The only thing Derek really knows is that, despite other reports, he seems quiet enough, prefers to work alone, and has the most amazing shade of amber eyes that Derek has ever seen.

Not that he’s looking. Obviously.

OR: A Harry Potter AU where Stiles is a Slytherin transfer student and Derek is the grumpy Gryffindor who falls in love with him.

There are also potions, elves, and falcons involved. Oh, and illegal use of magic. Obviously.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695293    The Werewolf Who Built his House of Brick by Ionaonie    40k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, h/c, fluff, 

Now that Scott's human again, Derek isn't their problem any more.

So why can't Stiles stop thinking about him?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/484359    That Secret They All Know by Salomonderiel    20k, Stiles/Derek, fluff, 

Somewhere, somehow, along the line, Stiles went from being the human sidekick of his stupid beta, to someone he gives lifts to when there's torrential rain, to being the one who sleeps beside him on the couch.

And god help him, but, for some reason he REALLY can't figure out - he doesn't seem to be doing much to stop this from happening.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2796392    Agent Halewinkle and the Stilinski Cheer Initiative by WhoNatural    6k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fluff, pining,   

PROMPT: Derek is an elf sent to the "mortal world" to bring Christmas spirit back into the Stilinski family and accidentally falls in love with Stiles

He’s a senior Agent of Cheer, decorated numerous times by the Candy Cane Council for his work in bringing joy to the many jovially-challenged families during the jolly season. His attention to detail has been heralded as ‘heartwarming’, ‘inspiring’ and ‘hella swell’ by several respected trade publications.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1787755     Running Towards You by SnowshadowAO3     31k, Stiles/Derek, PTSD, recovery, fluff, 

“It’s 2 A.M.,” Derek says. “What are you doing here?” Stiles turns to him with raised eyebrows. “We haven’t finished Harry Potter,” he says, as if it’s obvious, and Derek just stares at him. “I mean, if you don’t want to know what happens with Fluffy and the dragon, fine. But I personally think that the plot only gets better from here."

In which Derek and Stiles are both broken, but it takes a few paperback novels for them to realize that it makes them fit together just right.

A post-3B Canon Divergence, based on comment that said someone needs to sit Derek down on a couch and read him a nice book.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/613366     A Christmas Hale by Captain_Loki     14k, Stiles/Derek, fluff, 

His mouth began forming the word 'no' in a knee jerk reaction, but it died on his lips when he actually looked at Stiles. There was no pity in his face, no sense of moral obligation or charitable intent, he looked...earnest and nervous and so much the sixteen that he was. He realized with a jolt that had his stomach twisting into something that felt nothing like anger that Stiles wasn't asking for Derek's sake.

- The boys spend Christmas together. There's copious amounts of sarcasm, some sharing of emotions and somewhere along the lines feelings develop.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4632642      "We're Not Dating!" by Glissa     16k, Stiles/Derek, frottage, 

There must be something in the water supply in Beacon Hills. That has to be the only explanation as to why everyone thinks they're dating.

Either that, or there's something Stiles and Derek don't know.

Or: 12 times the pack, and the pack by proxy, think Stiles and Derek are dating but they aren't, and the one time they actually are.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2188908     Better Than Any Flame by alisvolatpropiis     4k, Stiles/Derek, beard kink, 

“You've got something on your face,” Derek says, clearing his throat, resisting the urge to reach up and touch the scraggly beard, to get his mouth on it.

Stiles rolls his eyes but he still leans forward to bump a shoulder against his in greeting. “This thing,” he says, petting it. “Scott and I had a bet to see who could grow a better beard.”

Derek doesn’t even glance over at Scott, who he already knows is clean-shaven; he just holds Stiles’ unnerving stare, trying to figure out the look in those big brown eyes. It's something like innocence, but it's way too knowing, too sure, to be sincere. It's classic Stiles, really. Derek raises one eyebrow at him and strokes his own, better beard, making a show of luxuriating in how full and soft it is. “And you lost so you had to keep yours,” he says finally, fighting a smile.

Stiles tosses his head back in wide-mouthed laughter, and goddammit, Derek wants to lick, wants to taste, wants to feel. Stiles walks past him on his way to the dining room, patting him roughly on the shoulder, winking again. “I missed you too, big guy.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11168268     you’ve got me on pins and needles by jadore_hale    17k, Stiles/Derek, AU, obliviousness, 

“At any rate, I’m not here to steal from you. One of the biggest potentially most important moments in my life is coming up and I find myself in need of a custom tux.”

“A tuxedo?” Derek halted, then tried not to laugh as he gave the kid a good look up and down. “Biggest potentially most important moment of your life?”

Derek picked up the broom and started sweeping, shaking his head. “If you need something for your little costume party, kid, rent something from party city.”

-

Stiles Stilinski needs THE perfect suit and Derek Hale is just the tailor to make it for him. Only Derek doesn’t exactly know that Stiles is kind of a famous movie star…

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1817704     Introduction to Zero-Sum Anthropology by apocryphal    20k, Stiles/Derek, fluff, snark, 

Stiles buys Derek a set of cooking spoons. Derek retaliates with lunch.

The war begins.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534624     Cuddle Therapy by alisvolatpropiis     3k, Stiles/Derek, cuddling, 

“Dude, did you know that Derek’s into dudes?” Scott asks the question as he shoves a folded piece of meat lover’s pizza in his mouth, last few words turning to mumbled mush.

Stiles tells himself that’s why he has to ask him to repeat it twice, even though Scott-talking-with-his-mouth-full is practically his second language, mastered when they were first graders, along with Scott-needs-to-use-his-puppy-eyes-now-because-words-are-hard-for-him-sometimes and Scott-talking-while-trying-to-pretend-he’s-not-having-an-asthma-attack (now a dead language thanks to the vigorous application of werewolfdom).

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2356391     I Feel We're Close Enough by samann98    55k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, pining, friends with benefits, 

Derek's two friends share a look and even Boyd can’t muster up the strength to deal with his pathetic attempt at denial. “Come on now, Derek, seriously? We know about you and Stiles.”

“Yeah, we know you two are fuck buddies,” Erica adds with a smirk, and Derek buries his head in his hands.

“That’s not exactly the terminology I would use,” he murmurs, his whole face burning with embarrassment.

“How else would you describe having sex with your best friend who has no clue you’re in love with him?” Boyd asks, actually sounding curious about his answer.

Derek lifts his head, opens his mouth to reply, but only ends up making a few ridiculous noises that can’t pass for actual words. When Derek finally just throws his hands up in defeat, admitting, “Okay, fine, that’s exactly how you’d describe it,” Erica and Boyd shake their heads at him.

Or the one in which Derek and Stiles are childhood friends, their freshman year of high school Derek makes the craziest suggestion ever, and four years later Stiles decides to take him up on it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1701203    some kind of karmic-chi love thing by llassah    27k, Stiles/Derek, drugs, 

“Stiles, uh. You know I’m totally on your side? Like, I’ll never not be on your side, ever. But you know that weed’s kind of different for werewolves, right?”

Stiles mashes his face into Scott’s chest, tries to burrow down under the comforter. Scott sighs, pulls back and waits until Stiles is looking at him.

“I know. Just—don’t try and make me be the adult here,” he says, hates the plaintive tone his voice has taken on.

“He’s happy, Stiles. And I can’t believe you’d ever think I’d do that to you, buddy,” he says, ruffling Stiles's hair with a grin as Stiles slaps his hand away and hunkers down again, his ear against Scott’s chest, their feet tangled together.

- Derek Hale comes back to Beacon Hills stoned and happy. Stiles tries not to resent him for it, and mostly fails.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1359397     For Love is Not Ours to Command by weathervaanes    18k, Stiles/Derek, fake relationship, 

Where Derek's skills at thinking on his feet mean that he and Stiles have to act. For the sake of Stiles' dad, of course, for the sake of the pack. No personal interest interference at all, whatsoever. Right.

-0-

“Why does my dad say that you and your boyfriend are a bad influence on me?”

“What?”

“Yeah, what boyfriend? Dude, you are not allowed to not tell me crap like this. You didn't think I'd like be a douchebag or something. Right?”

“No, wait, what? I have no boyfriend.”

“He says you were with him at the police station.”

Stiles blinks. “Uhm. Oh shit.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/682201    walk me down your broken line by geordielover     18k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, angst, fluff, 

The kissing. That’s important, very important. Not that the homicidal lycanthrope dragging him through dirt and fallen leaves isn’t important, but the kiss that follows? The path to this monumental push of lips on lips began even before this ill-fated venture to the Hale house.

The douchebag manhandling him through the forest, hand clamped tight around Stiles’s throat to keep him from screaming, is just a bonus.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/752428    Fireman Derek's Crazy Pie [Cheeseburger Baby] by owlpostagain    17k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fluff, obliviousness, 

“He can't blame me for the fact that I live in a building full of people united in the singular effort to ogle Hot Fireman as often as humanly possible."

Laura laughs, loud and echoing in the empty restaurant.

"Hot firemen can make a girl do crazy things," she agrees, nodding towards her brother's name on the menu. "Derek won't let me date anyone from his company, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the eye candy."

"Send them my way," Stiles suggests, finally loading up a forkful of pie. "Apparently I'm incompetent enough that I need to be babysat at all times, because it would be cheaper than dispatching a truck every time I try to use a kitchen appliance."

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/687704    The Morning When It's Clear by BarlowGirl    13k, Stiles/Derek, fluff, 

“She makes me have dinner with her and the Sheriff every week,” Derek admits. “She keeps saying I don’t eat well enough. Too much fast food, she says. I keep reminding her I’m a werewolf and then I get a lecture about cholesterol. That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Did you accidentally puppy-dog eye her?” Scott asks seriously.

“I – no? What the hell, no.” He levels a glare at Scott. “And dog jokes aren’t funny.”

Scott laughs. “You totally did. Oh my God. That’s priceless.”

Or: Derek feels, basically.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137046    It Can All But Break Your Heart by orbiting_saturn     7k, Stiles/Derek, 

Turns out, Derek can’t go anywhere without getting hit on.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3362135     Ruin Me (Take Me Down) by xLostDreamsx    50k, Stiles/Derek, AU, underage, 

Driving his teachers and his Dad crazy with his incessant trouble making, Stiles reluctantly accepts young college student Derek Hale as his ‘babysitter’, his Dad misguidedly believing he will be a positive role model to help guide him back to the straight and narrow.

Unfortunately for the Sheriff, he isn’t quite aware that Derek isn’t quite as up-standing as he appears and at the hands of his smart, young, manipulative son with a head full of ideas, his rather weak moral codes soon crumble.

Or put simply, Derek gives in to Stiles and things get hot and heavy pretty fast.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/817564     the shortest distance between two points (is the line from me to you) by decideophobia    23k, Stiles/Derek, 

“You—I—” Stiles splutters for a second, scrutinizing Derek’s face. He huffs in frustration. “I take it all back. You haven’t changed at all, you’re still acting like a petulant ten-year-old who unleashes his bad mood on others. You know, all Unleash the Derek style.”

“‘Unleash the Derek’?” Derek asks, dubiously.

“Yeah,” Stiles nods, gazing out the window again. “You know, the thing where you dump your bad mood on others, pour your suffocating attitude over everyone around you, twist everything that is said to you into some sort of—insult or whatever. It’s what I used to call it back in high school.”

“Sometimes I get the feeling you were dropped on your head an awful lot as a child,” Derek says appraisingly, eyebrows furrowed.

Stiles snorts. “Yeah, right back at you.”

Derek’s lips quirk in amusement, he arches his eyebrows. “I was, actually. But unlike you I regained full health.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/622475     with metal on our tongues (we'll be dressed in rags) by Rena    18k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

Double-oh agents are a piece of work; Stiles knew that before he became MI6's new quartermaster. It's cool, he survived Lydia in college, he can deal with stubborn, reckless, trigger-happy operatives. Derek Hale, though, is definitely trying to live up to his predecessor's legacy and make Stiles' life more difficult.

AKA the one where Derek is 007 and Stiles is Q and they bitch and angst their way to a Happy Ending. 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/602627    Our Memories Are Numbered by rufflefeather    23k, Stiles/Derek, amnesia, dub-con, 

Stiles’ Jeep grinds to a halt, he sees someone running through the rain, he's not expecting it to be Derek. He's not expecting a Derek without any memories either, or an Alpha pack that's coming for all of them. He probably should've, because lately nothing goes the way he expects.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4639482    'Till You Make It by standinginanicedress    46k, Stiles/Derek, soulmates, pining, fake relationship, 

“I'm saying – let's fake it.”

Derek blinks at him. Hard. Stiles never knew that someone could physically make a blink look hard, but there Derek goes, slamming his lids together like he's fucking exercising them. “Fake it.”

“Pretend, dumbass,” he backhands Derek lightly on his upper arm. “Pretend like we're doing as well as our parents want us to and then they'll be off our backs, right?”

“We don't have to pretend anything, Stiles,” Derek says evenly, in a tone that suggests he'd much rather be yelling. “We're literallysoulmates.”

“That's the beauty of it! It's going to be so fucking easy. I can't believe we never thought of this before,” he runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head in amazement, grinning from ear to ear. “Holy shit. I can't believe I just solved all our problems for us, man.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166542     Anything You Can Do by Rosada    1k, Stiles/Derek, pre-slash, body swap, 

Based on a prompt by Tumblr user prettiestcaptain: Pissing off a witch is officially on the pack’s no-no list. After Derek and Stiles get their bodies swapped, Stiles decides to explore the werewolf body he is now occupying. Derek is not thrilled at all about it and Scott is having the time of his life.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259114     Three Marks by sanam     113k, Stiles/Derek, AU, soulmates, slow burn, 

"And then there was pain again, but this time it was in only three places—his arm, below his clavicle, and next to his heart, all on the left side. It felt like the skin was being sliced apart, ripped open, flayed off— And suddenly it was done. Derek looked across the room and saw the boy on the floor, looking about as bad as Derek felt."

Derek and Stiles learn that bonding is probably best done with ridiculous amounts of video games and maybe a little bit of time.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016307     In My Arm by lurrel    3k, Stiles/Derek, amputation, 

Stiles has to cut off Derek's arm, and it's kind of handsy. An alternate storyline for Magic Bullet (1.04). 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13401471    Stay by Smowkie    18k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, bed sharing, hypothermia, 

Stiles had just gotten off his fourth long shift in a row and was looking forward to going home to his bed. He had plans to spend the next day, his first day off in more than a week, in bed or on the couch with junk food and bad tv. When he approached his Jeep and saw Derek on the ground next to the passenger door he groaned but hurried over.

“Derek, what the fuck? What happened?”

-

Or: another 5+1 bed sharing fic that nobody asked for.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3968296     Paint My Spirit Gold by Red_City    84k, Stiles/Derek, AU, mythology, touch starved, temporary character death, 

There was a gift.

There was a curse.

There is a power in the house of Hale, given to the firstborn son of every generation - the ability to turn everything he touches to gold. Though the original intent of the power was thought of as a gift, in reality, it is a dreaded curse that causes the bearer a life of fear, isolation, and danger.

Thus, Prince Derek is born.

---

[Excerpt from Chapter 22]

He didn’t think much of his hands, or any part of his body, really - but Stiles gaze had lingered enough to make Derek wonder what Stiles’ thought. Now, Stiles honey eyes were fixated on Derek’s hands, running over them like they were something precious rather than tools of death.

“Hmm.”

“What.”

“Nothing, I just - I thought they wouldn’t look like normal hands.”

“Why.”

“Because they’re magic,” Stiles said, looking up to meet Derek’s eyes.

“They’re not magic, they’re cursed,” Derek said, tucking his hands back into the sheet.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13308726     The Quickest Way to a Man’s Heart (is Through His Bottomless Pit) by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)   54k, Stiles/Derek, AU, slow burn, shy!Derek, pining, 

Pulling open his apartment door, he let out an involuntary shout when something was quite literally thrust into his chest hard enough to have him almost tip backwards. He managed to right himself while keeping hold of what had been shoved at him and looked up in time to see his neighbour striding back towards his apartment.

“You’re going to fucking kill yourself.”

His door slammed.

Stiles blinked at the other man’s door, utterly confused, and looked down at what he was holding.

It was a plastic bag, full of what felt like tupperware, which made no sense to Stiles because when had his neighbour broken into his house to steal his tupperware?

(SNYE - January 11th - Neighbours)

THE SOFTEST hoy shit!

. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4975684     There's a howling that stays beneath my skin by LunaCanisLupus_22    32k, Stiles/Derek, slow burn, pining, 

Cora inclines her head pointedly and he realises he’s half perched on the deck chair, ready to leap up and fight at a moment's notice. Or run. He shrugs out of his dad’s jacket, folding it over the edge of the chair, and then crosses his arms.

He’s relaxed, okay? He took the jacket off. He’s plenty relaxed.

Or Derek's obligatory vacation fic in South America after he left Beacon Hills (for good?)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3131873     Hallowed Grounds by damnfancyscotch    109k, Stiles/Derek, AU, wolf!Derek, slow burn, 

Everything in Beacon Hills is the same when Stiles comes home from college.

Well, except for the fact that he's a published author now, Scott is halfway across the world with a travelling circus, Erica's epilepsy has been cured, her boss offers him a job too, and there's this weird black dog that seems to be following him around just to judge him.

Oh, and the murders, of course.

But other than that stuff... totally the same old BH.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5821597    Days Like This by rlnerdgirl    18k, Stiles/Derek, slow burn, 

Returning to Beacon Hills is a big step for Derek. He's starting his own business, rebuilding his old family home, and enjoying the feeling of being home. When he runs into the Sheriff and finds himself invited to a Stilinski family dinner, it's not nearly as strange as he would have expected, and when Stiles starts becoming a regular part of his new life, it only feels natural.

“The first thing Derek notices is that Stiles is taller. The second is that he’s more filled out. This shouldn’t be a surprise. Not living in Beacon Hills doesn’t stop the machine of social media, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen pictures, but it’s different in person. Stiles, now Derek’s height, maybe an inch taller, still has the same wide smile and loose-limbness about him that he did when he was in high school. Between the height and the muscles though, this Stiles wouldn’t make anyone second guess that he played lacrosse. The only thing people would second guess about this Stiles is the fact that he was always on the bench.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11669214     Framed by Nival_Vixen   65k, Stiles/Derek, action, accidental pack acquisition, 

Stiles' first day at the FBI was also going to be his last. That had to be some kind of record, surely?

...

On his first day at the FBI, Stiles discovers that Derek is wanted for mass murder. Stiles knows that Derek's innocent and is determined to find out who framed him. 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12971160     Fully Grown by thedaughterofkings    36k, Stiles/Derek, AU, soulmates, wolf!Derek, 

The pup smells of summer, of heat in the air, lightning in the sky.

No amount of growling sends him running; he just keeps standing there, staring. He's no threat though, smells of sparks but not of fire, no taste of ashes on the tongue.

Satisfied, he turns around, leaving the pup behind, ignoring the acid scent of anxiety and fear that suddenly fills the air.

~*~

Stumbling across a wolf in the preserve is not what Stiles expects when he goes for a run the last night before school starts again. But even if the wolf acts more intelligent than a mere animal, he can’t have anything to do with Stiles’ unusual soulmark, four vicious scratches down his forearm, can he?

And what is Kate Argent doing back in Beacon Hills for the first time since the Hale Fire?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4585491    Hunger of the Pine by utsu    48k, Stiles/Derek, slow burn, pining, 

Normal. A word with meaning akin to water, slipping right through his fingertips. Elusive in the long-term; a flickering understanding he accepts and loses track of in a passing moment.

Normal had never, ever seemed an applicable term to a life ridden with werewolves.

or: the one where the pack figures out that Derek and Stiles are in love before Derek and Stiles do.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1820941    In the Early Morning Hours by acolonf6    13k, Stiles/Derek, bed sharing, pining, 

Stiles remembers sleep, remembers it well. Stiles and sleep are totally buds…or at least they used to be. Ever since everything with the nogitsune went down, sleeping just hasn’t been the same.

(Until Derek starts showing up)  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7312444      What You Wont by Spitshine    17k, Stiles/Derek, AU, Shakespeare, trans character, pining, 

Derek’s protests dried up in his throat as Laura’s eyes bled red, but he rolled his eyes and huffed out, “Fine,” knowing full well he was being childish and not caring. All the complaining she did about his taciturnity, and then cutting him off the one time it really mattered. Well, Laura could hardly blame him for the inevitable failure of his so-called marriage if she wouldn’t even let him talk long enough to tell her he had never once felt attraction to a woman.  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12408531    When You're Close I Feel the Sparks by Leslie_Knope    39k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, 

The guy is hot as hell, sure—leather jacket and glasses, Jesus, be still Stiles' poor, bisexual, beating heart—but more importantly, it must really suck being new on the first day of senior year.

“We’re adopting him,” he decides, tugging Scott and Kira by the elbow in that direction. “Let’s go.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/518799    Apparent Lack of Ceremony by Loz    3k, Scott/Stiles, first time, frottage, friends to lovers, bed sharing, 

Scott keeps climbing into Stiles' bed at night to cuddle. They don't talk about it in the morning.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110863     A Phenomenon When You Came Along by Loz     17k, Scott/Stiles, road trips, bed sharing, friends to lovers, 

Stiles and Scott embark on a road trip together. This isn't a metaphor (except for how it is.)

-

“It’s okay, I’m good.”

“Yeah, you’re the best,” Scott replies automatically.

It’s one of their stock phrases, something they’ve said since childhood --- as natural to them as their ability to communicate through eyebrow-raises, their super-secret handshake and their unending loyalty to one another, but Stiles thought they’d retired it when they were fifteen, so he glances at Scott quickly.

“Sometimes I think we’ve forgotten how to be us and then you say something, or look at me a certain way, and it all comes back.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/484734    Came home, like a stone (fell heavy into your arms) by queerly_it_is    10k, Isaac/Scott, first time, friends to lovers, 

In the aftermath of Gerard's final attempt to bring down the pack; Isaac and Scott's friendship becomes something more, as they forge a new connection and learn to trust each other and themselves.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2420705    Like real people do by queerly_it_is    15k, Scott/Stiles, pining, 

Stiles waits until Scott’s focused on the game, eyes narrowed and his tongue poking at the corner of his mouth, fingers tapping at the controller, before he says, “So I think we should kiss.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1595759    Lost and found by holesinthesky    9k, Stiles/Derek, emotional hc, friends to lovers, sexual identity, 

"Most people look at Derek and assume he is having more sex than anyone else in the room."

In which Derek has the worst time, but then it gets better.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2772911    When It Happens by matildajones    5k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, fluff, friends to lovers, 

Stiles turns his head and looks up at his friend. “Have you ever thought about it?” Derek asks. “What?” “Thought about us dating.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560063     Parallels by inatshej    21k, Stiles/Derek, AU, high school, pining, UST, light dom/sub, 

Stiles slowly pulls in a mouthful of curly fries, dumbly focused on the task. ''It's weirdly homoerotic how you do this,'' muses Derek, eyeing him. Stiles chokes and Derek's lips curl up into an almost smile. It's so easy to get the reaction he wants from Stiles. ''Yeah, it's disgusting, Stilinski,'' says Jackson, looking at the boy with distaste. Derek turns to him, letting his eyebrows rise. ''And who asked you, Whittemore?'' Jackson glances at him, surprised. ''I've just agreed with y-'' ''No one cares,'' Derek interrupts him. ''Fuck off.''

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/940345     And, And, And- by captainkoirk    8k, Scott/Stiles, bed sharing, friends to lovers, pining, 

Stiles likes to be sure of things, when he can be. It comes with the territory; growing up on the wrong side of gangly, complete with a late growth spurt and a nail-biting habit. Precocious as they come and constantly mistaken for being younger. An ex-prodigy child with a mean streak that grew up too fast because a broad vocabulary means hitting hard and getting your barbs hooked.

Stiles can do tunnel vision with the best of them, knows every Pre and Post iteration of himself, can pick at a moment and know his own inevitable shifting, from Mom's death to his first day of high school to his first brush with lycanthropy. And yet he can't pinpoint when Scott's leg pressed against his own changed from something he wouldn't even register to the sort of thing that twists in his gut and pulls the air from his lungs, because Scott's been his constant when the world won't stop spinning and Stiles wants off, and Stiles can't quantify any of it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3742582    the place that’s out of view by Loz    10k, Scott/Stiles, soul bond, 

“As far as I can ascertain it’s a proximity curse,” Deaton says, still leading Stiles away from Scott’s house, walking quickly enough it’s nearly a jog. “Your life-forces have been merged. As you come into contact, he weakens and you strengthen.”

“Is it temporary?” Stiles asks. He feels almost normal, now. Close to himself. Sick to his stomach, but not supercharged.

Deaton frowns. “I don’t know.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/468406     Let us Stray 'til Break of Day by Loz    55k, Stiles/Derek, emotional manipulation backfiring, snark, 

Derek decides the best way to get Scott to join his pack is to seduce Stiles first. Derek makes terrible decisions.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/489098     make the most of it by preromantics    12k, Stiles/Derek, sex swap, scent kink, 

In which some witches swap out some pretty important parts on Stiles for new ones, Stiles takes it in stride because things like this happen (right?), this is his life now, supernatural shit all over the place, but Derek definitely does not take in it stride. // Stiles can just roll with this, just like he rolled with werewolves existing and magic existing and various other way more gruesome things than suddenly having a vagina and some pretty, honestly spectacular breasts.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/554708    You let me push under your bones by ellievolia, morphosyntactic    10k, Stiles/Derek, girl!Derek, 

He’s not used to girls sleeping with him in his single bed.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4154790     Wild Horses by thepsychicclam    78k, Stiles/Derek, AU, slow burn, permanent injury, scars, UST, past trauma, 

Derek's a drifter with no home, no destination, and no will to live. Stiles works on his family's failing cattle and horse ranch while all his friends are going off to college. When Derek falls asleep in a random barn, exhausted and half-starved, he doesn't expect to wake up on the other end of the sheriff's shotgun. And Stiles sure as hell doesn't expect his dad to invite the drifter in for breakfast.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2366066     I Might Be A Fool by prettylittlementirosa    35k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

The thing about Stiles, though, is that for him, turned on and angry are not mutually exclusive feelings. He may be painfully hard but that doesn’t mean he’s not also ready to strangle Derek for having the audacity to act like this is something that’s happening to him, not something that is almost entirely his fault. So when Derek let’s out what must be his hundredth long-suffering sigh, Stiles snaps.

(or the one that was supposed to be a GRΣΣK AU but is mostly just a study in the gratuitous and inconsistent use of punctuation)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12742563     Slow Hands by aussiebee    8k, Stiles/Derek, pining, hand kink, 

Derek is suddenly made aware of Stiles in an entirely new and uncomfortable way; specifically, his hands. His wide, strong, clever and dextrous hands.

Derek is kinda screwed.  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12258063     Throw Me to the Wolves by skoosiepants    13k, Stiles/Derek, h/c 

He feels the physical embodiment of devastated, his already too strung-out mind struggling to wall up all the hurt, the rejection—he takes a deep shuddering breath and looks down at the shredded skin on his arms, at the sluggish way they’re weakly healing.

There is nothing, nothing he wants more than to have Derek sweep in and make everything all better. He should have known, though, that something like that would never happen to him.

OR -

Stiles accidentally gets bitten, and everything goes to hell.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11953764     Don't Feed the Wolves by Amazonia_8    30k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, feral!derek, 

Stiles took the dare, because what else was he supposed to do when the whole lacrosse team was chanting his name? Even though the werewolf pack had left Beacon Hills years ago, nobody was stupid enough to set foot on the Hale property.

Except, apparently, Stiles.

Now he's got a feral werewolf following him around town with the sole purpose of claiming Stiles as his own.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12626415    We're caught in stone, you know we might not make it by LunaCanisLupus_22    29k, Stiles/Derek, AU, childhood friends, friends with benefits, 

He does this thing then, while Stiles is watching, rolls his left shoulder a little as if he’s adjusting the books in his arms and suddenly Stiles recognises him from the gesture.

“Oh my god,” he cries, dumping his books, bag and coffee into one big mess on the ground and rushing over to them at once.

Or the one where Derek and Stiles are childhood buddies who lost touch and reconnect by chance at college. Only they end up doing a lot more than just reconnecting.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12689862    This Counts, Right? by we_are_the_story   2k, Stiles/Derek, AU, soulmates, 

Block-lettered versions of the first words your soulmate will say to you are outlined in black when you are born, or your soulmate is born, and are consequently filled in within a minute of the first meet.

Stiles doesn’t think, “You’re going down, 24,” can constitute as a friendly conversation, or a nice, normal beginning, but Stiles never really cared. And he got a lucky number out of it, so that should mean something, right? The only thing is that a number generally means a sport, and he and sports had always had a mutual hatred for one another. But Stiles would never let something as trivial as a disagreement get in the way of being a good friend, so when Scott joined the lacrosse team at school, Stiles did too, took 24 as his number and didn’t expect anything else.

But then it happened. And it was simultaneously worse and better than he could have ever expected.

Or: too many people are injured during a lacrosse game against their rival team and Stiles must step in, only to unexpectedly help ensure a win. Stiles still doesn’t really understand.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11082210    Full Circle by kaistrex (weishen), klimt   19k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, kidnapping, 

Stiles wakes face to face with the muzzle of a black wolf and he does the only thing any sane person would do in such a situation: he screams.

A hand – a furry, claw-tipped but human-shaped hand – comes up to cover his mouth. He follows it with his eyes to a furry wrist disappearing into the sleeve of a leather jacket, up to broad shoulders and to the head of the wolf looming over him sprouting from the collar of a Henley.

A wolf. Wearing clothes.

Stiles sags backwards with relief. It’s okay. He’s just dreaming.

–

All Stiles had wanted to do was warn a newly-returned-to-town Derek Hale that some unsavoury-looking men had put a target on his back. Instead, he gets kidnapped, turned into some sort of human-fox hybrid by a spell gone wrong and, oh yeah, werewolves are a thing.

This is all Scott’s fault.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12888906    The Hardest Thing In This World by yodasyoyo    4k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, h/c, 

Stiles is not a wolf, but he has the heart of one.

--

After the Hale fire Derek and Laura go to stay with the Stilinskis, and end up finding more there than they could ever have hoped for

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13130385    When You Wish Upon a Nymph by KaliopeShipsIt    19k, Stiles/Derek, established relationship. accidental pregnancy, mpreg, 

Sheriff Stilinski rescues a nymph who wants to grant him a wish in exchange.

John accidentally wishes for a grandchild and chaos ensues.

A Derek!Mpreg as witnessed from John's POV.

Merry Christmas everyone :)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12278055    Never Letting Go by Captain_Loki   4k, Stiles/Derek, first time, bottom derek, 

Stiles is the first person that Derek has sex with since Kate. Derek is the first person that Stiles has sex with, ever. It happens during that summer researching the Alpha pack.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113620    What Good Are Rules (If You Can't Break Them) by wishingonalightningbolt   9k, Stiles/Derek, AU, friends with benefits,

Derek is trying to come up with something witty to say in return when he realizes that he’s smiling. He purposefully turns the corners of his mouth down into a dramatic frown. “Fuck you, Stilinski.”

“Wow, you have a way with words.”

-0-

In which Derek and Stiles engage in no-strings-attached sex. It works out about as well as you might imagine.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446664    The Dead of Night by nameloc_ar_115   19k, Stiles/Derek, AU, vampire!stiles, kidnapping, 

What's the point of being captured by deranged scientists who want to experiment on you if you have no one to share it with?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7064629    Devil Unicorns by CrazyJ    27k,Stilles/Derek, pining, 

“Stiles, Derek’s been gone for almost four months man, he’s not coming back,” Scott said gently, placing his hand on Stiles’ shoulder, knowing his friend needed the support. “If he was going to come back, don’t you think he would have by now?”

The room grew heavy as Scott’s question hung in the air, the truth of his words permeating everything but the thick defence Stiles put up anytime Derek was mentioned. To be honest, Scott didn’t understand it. He had liked the dude, appreciated his help more than he had considered him a friend, seen his value in the pack, but he wasn’t heartbroken that he had left. If he was being completely honest, it was easier now that he was gone, the dude was bad luck and things had been good since he and Braeden had disappeared.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2798522    Hurt Me (to Heal Me) by SushiOwl    51k, Stiles/Derek, AU, BDSM, sub!Derek, 

Stiles likes his job, he does. It's just that his boss is an asshole. Stiles has been working for Hale and Associates for a while now, and he's learned to take Mr Hale's treatment of him with a grain of salt. They're coexisting, more or less. Stiles puts thought of his boss out of his head when he heads to a BDSM club called The Menagerie for the first time. It's a nice night, everything is going well, but everything changes when he sees his boss there.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/602124    Last Day on Earth by Saucery    3k, Stiles/Derek, first time, 

Stiles refuses to die a virgin.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/452969    We Should Become More Adventurous by skoosiepants    8k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

Werewolves are the kind of horror you only find in books and movies and gay porn, so forgive him for being a little slow on the uptake. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/378434    he is and as he is by jaegermighty    1k, Stiles/Derek, 

First times and muffins. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/943047    my chest is a field full of landmines by Amber    5k, Stiles/Derek, masturbation, 

Derek Hale's emotional problems extend to his penis. Stiles plays therapist.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11013228    At least the Road to Hell is paved, I'm not good with Stairways by lady emebalia (emebalia)   170k, Stiles/Derek, AU, BDSM, disability, 

When Derek signs up on a BDSM dating site, he expects things to be straight forward. Turns out the road ahead has more unexpected turns than he thought. But at least Stiles comes well equipped for twists and turns.

Definitely one of the best BDSM fics i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. lady emebalia is a fantastic writer.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5365487    Human is Just a Word by lady emebalia (emebalia)    173k, Stiles/Derek, AU, dub-con, biting kink, 

Getting claimed by a werewolf has so not been on Stiles' agenda for the night. But at least he can choose whose human pet he's going to be. That's a plus, right? 

only the first sex scene is dub-con (due to fuck-or-die/get raped by other character), the rest features enthusiastic consent. There is abuse and one non-con scene featuring two minor characters at the end of the fic tho.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2330807   Pale Skin and Fragile Bone by fakinbrilliance    62k, Stiles/Derek, 

Stiles asks Derek to teach him self-defense. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14996549    Thanks for Thumper, But I Prefer Cheeseburgers by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    58k, Stiles/Derek, AU, Wolf!Derek, mates, 

The wolf’s head whipped around so fast, Stiles felt like he was watching The Exorcist.

Stiles wondered if he could just stand still enough to make the wolf think he was a tree. A very bright red and jean-clad tree. He doubted it, but one could hope.

He knew it was a lost cause when the wolf turned fully, lips pulled back from its sharp teeth—so very sharp, good fucking Lord!—and began walking towards Stiles.

“I didn’t see anything!” Stiles shouted, both hands out in front of himself and sweat instantly breaking out across his skin. “I swear to you! I didn’t see anything! I didn’t see anything! I won’t tell anyone! I won’t! I’ll keep this to myself, until the day I die! I promise! I promise!”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12088854   Stained Glass Windows by KouriArashi    85k, Chris/Peter, AU, kid fic, slow build, 

Peter survives the fire and suddenly finds himself trying to raise children with only a vague notion of what he's doing, while trying to cope with his own grief and find his family's murderer. He ends up turning to Chris Argent for help, and nothing goes as expected.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14334453    Five Times Stiles Fell Out of a Window and the One Time He Jumped by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    14k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, pining, 

“What are you doing?”

Stiles started so violently that his hands slipped. He was leaning out so far, and his balance had been relying on his hands so much that he just tumbled right out the window, rolling along the slanted roof and letting out a loud shout when he fell over the end.

He landed hard on his side, pain shooting up his shoulder and let out a very loud curse that his neighbours probably all heard. He rolled onto his back with a groan, clutching at his injured shoulder, and opened his previously closed eyes in time to see Derek standing on the roof, staring down at him with the eyebrows.

How was Derek’s entire language just eyebrows?

“What the hell?” Stiles demanded, sitting up and still holding his injured arm. “Where did you come from?”

“The door,” Derek informed him, giving him a look.  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13417734    The Not So Beauty to Your Not So Beast by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)   64k, Stiles/Derek, AU, royalty, modern, pining, 

“Mieczyslaw Stilinski?”

All eyes instantly turned to Stiles and he felt his stomach drop. They’d taken his dad. They’d actually taken his dad and were here to tell him so.

“Yeah?” he asked in a small voice, feeling ready to be sick.

The second he spoke, two of the four regular guards moved through the rows, the lead guard speaking.

“By order of his Grace Peter Hale, you have been selected to begin your employ under the royal house of Hale.”

Wait.

What?

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13444578    Drive Me Crazy by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    1k, Stiles/Derek, road trip, bickering, 

“Stop making that sound,” Derek snapped.

“What sound? There’s no sound.”

“That,” Derek insisted. “That sound!”

“What, me breathing?” Stiles shot back. “There’s no sound, Derek!”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060220   This Isn't What I Wanted (but I can't keep my filthy fucking mouth shut) by LadySlytherin   26k, Stiles/Derek, 

Alt-S3A, wherein the alpha pack strikes at Derek shortly after taking Erica and Boyd. They kidnap Stiles and bite him, but Sparks aren’t made to be wolves. When the bite doesn’t take, Stiles’ self-preservation instinct makes a choice between dying and surviving at any cost. But the price paid is a steep one, and not something Stiles ever wanted for himself.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544285    Gambling Debts by lady emebalia (emebalia)   141k, Stiles/Derek, AU, BDSM, 

Stiles owns a casino, Peter has a gambling problem and Derek has to pay his uncle's debts. You know the setup, you know where this leads. Or maybe not …

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13881453    Extraordinary by HyperLittleNori (Shiguresan)    109k, Stiles/Derek, AU, disability, 

An awkward encounter with a man of few words in the laundry room of Stiles's building sparks a chain of events that will change the way he sees the world forever. A little story about finding a place for oneself and someone to share that place with.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938150    in this twilight (i can't see shit) by Anniely    39k, Stiles/Derek, AU, 

About three things Stiles is sure:

First, the people in Beacon Hills are supernaturally gorgeous and he has no idea why he was allowed in. Second, if he hears 'mountain lion' one more time, he's going to do some serious maiming. And third, Derek Hale looks at him like he wants to eat him. And Stiles might just let him.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14662854   Something Rotten by HappyJuicyfruit    78k, Stiles/Derek, drug use, prostitution, homelessness, past rape, 

Dammit, this was another reason he hated walking around a big city at night, he always managed to catch glimpses of the dark underbelly. He turned around, planning on going the long way home, but he froze when he heard the voice-

“Let me take you home,” a man said.

“That will cost you more. I get the money before we leave, and I take another hit at your place before we do anything.” Another man slurred.

That voice. It sounded like- Derek’s feet were moving him towards the men before he could think.

“Stiles?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631620    Dress Me Up In Stitches (Or, Five Times Stiles Got Hurt And Hid It, And One Time He Couldn't) by rockmusicplays   22k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, injury, 

Stiles is determined to help the pack protect the town any way that he can. Derek and Scott keep trying to sideline him for his own safety, but Stiles isn't having it.

Even if it kills him.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15503010    Waiting by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    81k, Stiles/Derek, canon-AU, feral!Derek, possessive!Derek, 

Not wanting to think on it took much, Stiles took a step forward and passed his hand between the bars, moving the bleeding side closer to Derek’s mouth.

“Not too close, he bites.”

Stiles snatched his hand away just as Derek had been about to lick at it. The snarl he got in response was not comforting.

“He what?” Stiles asked nervously, turning to Deaton.

The man looked a little amused. “Don’t worry, only if he doesn’t like you.”

“Well, he probably hates me, now!” Stiles insisted, turning back to Derek.

He looked extremely displeased.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/670586    Cross My Soul by ecarian    31k, Stiles/Derek, 

Sometime around mid summer, during the intervening weeks of baseball camp and recovering from baseball camp and the latest Minecraft update, Jinx hops up the plastic step stool to their bed and says, “Derek’s daemon won’t talk to me.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/736142    Messy by blacktofade    1k, Lydia/Stiles, pegging, 

As soft as Stiles appears, he’s surprisingly firm beneath Lydia’s hands. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/758433    Be Sure by blacktofade    1k, Stiles/Derek, watersports, possessive behaviour, 

Stiles likes to think he’s an open-minded guy.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15866892    Magical Encounters by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    105k, Stiles/Derek, AU, phone sex operator, angst, stalking, 

“Shut up and talk to me.”

Spark laughed, and it made Derek’s muscles relax even more. God, even just his voice was enough to calm him down. Derek wished their relationship wasn’t what it was. He knew it could never be anything more, but he wished they’d met under different circumstances.

“Well, which is it? Shut up, or talk to you? Or did you need a little bit of relief?” Spark’s voice lowered and it shot straight to Derek’s groin. “Are you in need of some other services, Derek?”

“Don’t do that,” Derek snapped. He hadn’t meant for it to come out so hostile, but Spark didn’t often use that voice with him. His ‘service’ voice. The one he used to get people off. When Derek was having a normal day, he didn’t mind it so much, but today? No, today he felt it go straight to his dick and he did not want to do that to Spark. He didn’t.

He fucking didn’t!

“Sorry, sorry,” Spark said quickly. “Yeesh, it was a bad day, huh? Okay, no problem, let’s make you happy again. As happy as a grumpy motherfucker like you can be, anyway.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15719427   I'm Lost In You by matildajones    13k, Stiles/Derek, AU, soulmates, coma, 

He knows he should move but a part of him still feels paralyzed. He has clear feelings of not being able to move his body, of not being able to even blink.

“Oh my god,” Stiles says, and he clambers to his feet, feeling dizzy. He easily finds a mirror in the room and then the most gorgeous eyes stare back at him. They’re a sea-green instead of the normal brown that he’s used to.

He’s looking at his soulmate.

--

Stiles wakes up in his soulmate's body, on his twenty-second birthday, with blurry memories of the past year. Derek doesn't wake up at all.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15869025    The Sun to Rise by andavs    7k, Stiles/Derek, AU, Alpha!Derek, Emissary!Stiles,

Stiles has an imaginary friend. He's kind of a dick.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/941881    You Always Make A Bloody Mess by Sweetsyren    5k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, scars, injury, 

Stiles is used to hiding his scars.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/515709    And You Say You're Alone by taelynhawker   30k, Stiles/Derek,injury, 

Between the kanima, the Argents, and Peter's untimely return from the dead, everything has fallen apart. Stiles and Derek try to put their lives back together once the crisis has passed. Stiles deals with the aftermath of being tortured, and the distance growing between he and Scott. Derek attempts to become a stronger alpha and keep his pack safe, and that includes Stiles.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/702099    Thunder, Steal the Wind by qthelights    10k, Stiles/Derek, forced proximity, h/c, injury, frottage, first time, 

Trapped in a thunderstorm with an unknown creature chasing them, Stiles and Derek find they need to trust each other to get through the night.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/648444    Under Pressure (Approximately 7lbs) by shlynn    2k, Stiles/Derek, injury, h/c, 

Stiles breaks his collarbone.

Well, Derek breaks Stiles' collarbone.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/562077    Say it Sweet by morganoconner     4k, Stiles/Derek, h/c, truth serum, 

"Wolfsbane." Derek grits his teeth. "Interrogation blend. Still in my system. It makes me talk."

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/614989    Never Cage A Rabid Wolf by tty9    49k, Stiles/Derek, AU, prison, prison appropriate warnings, 

Stiles is sent to prison, and gets assigned to a cell with-

“Hale?!” Scott gasped as his gaze followed Stiles’s. “You got Derek Hale?! Oh boy, man, good luck with that buddy, that guy is a psycho!” His voice had become worryingly high pitched. Stiles’s heart started thumping in his chest, and he swore it actually skipped a beat when Hale looked up at them, his eyes searing into Stiles’s who quickly dropped his head. His beef (or was it pork?) slop suddenly looked very interesting.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/925944    constant as a northern star by Hymn   6k, Stiles/Derek, smut, Derek discovers he loves to bottom

Derek stole a chicken wing from Stiles’ pile, said “You’re special," in a way that was probably meant to be a subtle jab at Stiles’ sanity but really just came out sounding like Derek was having emotions.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1664021    I Can Kill You With My Mind by Snowjob    4k, Stiles/Derek, psychic bond, masturbation, 

Response to an open prompt on tumblr:

I need a fic—no, this fandom needs a fic—wait, THE WORLD NEEDS A FIC where magic!Stiles accidentally forms a telepathic bond with Derek while having sex with someone else.

He may or may not be having an orgasm at the time.

He also may or may not be picturing Derek while doing it. - Jerakeenc

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1533503    Seeing Double. by doctorkaitlyn    62k, Stiles/Derek/Stuart Stilinski, AU, twincest, polyamory, 

Derek had always had a thing for libraries, even before he started working in one. There was nothing like the feeling of having all the knowledge in the world at his fingertips, nothing like the quiet serenity that only books could bring.

One day, that serenity was shattered by two young men, twins to be exact, sitting in the English Literature section and firing off rapid Polish at a completely inexcusable volume. Derek told them to be quiet, like he'd done to dozens of other students, and that should have been the end of it.

In reality, it was just the beginning.

or, that fic where Derek falls for both Stiles and Stuart (and the feeling is definitely mutual.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/899188    Riding the Lightning by Vendelin    23k, Stiles/Derek, AU, temporary amnesia, past torture, 

Stiles finds himself on the doorstep to his home in Beacon Hills, not remembering how he got here or why he’s barefoot. As it turns out, he was abducted a couple of weeks earlier from a college party and bears the same marks on his body as victims of a serial killer his dad just can’t seem to get a hold of. So there he is, with no memories of what happened, the last couple of weeks like a blank line in his mind and knowing all too well that he’s the best shot they have at catching this guy. As a key witness and in acute, assumed danger, he finds himself under surveillance 24/7 and more often than not, his dad’s best Deputy: Derek Hale, is sitting at his kitchen table.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/857035    Just a social construct by queerly_it_is    2k, Danny/Stiles, first time, 

"I really was kidding," Danny says. It'd be more of a put-down if it wasn't said against Stiles' mouth, if his hands weren't on Stiles' hips while Stiles just sort of twitches against the wall he's being pressed into.

He mumbles back, "I really wasn't," trying to get Danny to use more tongue. Stiles is maybe already a little addicted to Danny's tongue. It's a problem.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/850274    Bought the T-Shirt by the_deep_magic    6k, Stiles/Derek, first time, fuck-or-die, 

Stiles needs some help with a thing. (Post-ep for 3x03 "Fireflies")

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https://archiveofourown.org/series/34394    And Will Not Be Commanded series by whiskey_in_tea     13k, Stiles/Derek, Derek/Erica, 

He can’t decide if it was worse when Derek was with Erica, when he would touch her shoulder or hip with his fingertips and the perpetual frown of his forehead would smooth out, just for a single, tender second, or now, when his hands are always empty at his sides and Stiles is starting to feel compelled to offer himself to fill them.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/515616    You are the Moon by skoosiepants    10k, Stiles/Derek, AU, wolf!Derek, 

Stuff Stiles doesn’t like to deal with first thing: hot, moist dog breath in his face, a cuddly werewolf creepifying his perfectly normal morning wood with shades of bestiality, and his dad holding his service revolver up against the skull of his bedmate, never mind the fact that his bedmate could possibly be a vicious unhinged rogue omega.    

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/532552    You Taste Like Glitter by dizzzylu    1k, Danny/Stiles, first kiss, 

There was a time in Danny's life when he'd have sworn he had better things to do than sit in a club and check out the latest guy his ex is trying to hook up with. That is not the case tonight.

(written for the prompt: Danny sees Stiles at a gay bar and asks him to dance to make his ex jealous, only things get a little out of hand when he realizes Stiles is really into it and is not so straight as Danny thoughtat the Everybody Loves Danny Fanworks Fest)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/546446    Hide Of A Life War by Etharei    26k, minor Stiles/Derek, BAMF!Stiles, hostage situation, injury, 

“We have received confirmation that there is a hostage situation in progress at a warehouse compound two hours out of Los Angeles, following a multiple-vehicle pileup on Highway 101 this morning...”

The one in which Stiles has lived to (legal) adulthood and, along the way, become a bit of a badass himself.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/2262240    A Desperate Arrangement by mikkimouse    115k, Stiles/Derek, AU, arranged marriage, 

"I'm sorry, I believe there's something wrong with my hearing," Stiles said. "Because I could have sworn you just told me you set up a betrothal agreement with the Hales. A betrothal agreement involving me. Me."

Scott smiled his easygoing smile and nodded, which told Stiles no, he hadn't misheard a damn thing.

After seven years of lengthy negotiations, the treaty between the Hales and the Argents has fallen apart and the two countries fell into war.

Months later, there's an uneasy truce, thanks to the intervention of King Scott McCall, but it won't last. In a desperate attempt to maintain the peace, the Hales sign a treaty with the McCalls to marry Prince Derek to Prince Stiles Stilinski, King Scott's brother.

In the history of the world, there have been many better ideas.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1935087    my heart's been offline by thepsychicclam    58k, Stiles/Derek, AU, online dating, past drug use, 

31/M/New York. Rich, lays in bed all day, likes to read (aka Derek Hale, son of an Oscar winning actress, brother of one obnoxious reality star and one rebellious fashion designer, hates the paparazzi so much he's a recluse)

26/M/California. Boring office job, likes to read (aka Stiles Stilinski, co-owner of a 100 acre organic farm with his dad and two best friends, writer of obits for a newspaper, has absolutely no life)

Or, where Derek and Stiles meet online, and Stiles has no clue Derek's part of a famous family.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/754219    Alpha Complex by Hatteress (goddammitstacey)    3k, Stiles/Derek, smut, 

"Hold still," Stiles says, hand clamping down on the back of Derek's neck to keep him from turning and it's laughable, really – the thought that that would be enough to hold him. Except it is. Because Stiles' fingers are gripping the nape of Derek's neck, pressure sure and hard and Derek- Derek can't fucking breathe.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8804740    Your Darkness Will Be Rewritten by Omni    11k, Stiles/Derek, AU, incubus!Stiles, 

Stiles is no guardian angel. In fact, as an incubus, he's pretty far from it. But still, it seems he's always there at the right place and the right time to be the protector that Derek didn't even know he needed.

(An alternate timeline where Stiles prevents the Hale fire, and returns to Beacon Hills years later when someone's performing three-fold ritualistic killings.)

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/11342160    Honey, Can't you See (The Bloodstains on my Teeth) by Loup_Aigre, TroubleIWant   44k, Stiles/Derek, canon AU, soulmates, angst, 

“Mr Stilinski.” Deaton’s usually impassive face betrays a hint of surprise today, maybe even disappointment. “You haven’t changed your mind.”

Stiles tips his chin up, smiling against his irritation. “Nope,” he confirms, so cheerily it bites. They had arranged this weeks ago, yet Deaton was apparently betting Stiles wouldn’t go through with it in the end. Fuck that. He doesn’t know what it’s like out there, not really. He can afford to hold himself aloof and uninvolved, knowing his druid power is enough to keep him safe in this little office. Stiles can’t. Scott’s pack has got to protect this whole town, and Stiles’ spark isn’t enough to protect all of them while they do it.

The thing is, magic isn’t like the fairy tales. It’s blood and risk and sacrifice. Nothing comes without a price, and anyone who tries to say different is baiting a hook to gut you on. Stiles knows that, has known it since he was a kid and his mother started training him for the inevitable day when he’d need to fight for his life.

That day had come four years ago when she died, and it hasn’t stopped yet.

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https://archiveofourown.org/series/23664     Good Things series by alchemy 10k, Stiles/Derek, first time, smut, power dynamics, 

His social circle consists almost entirely of creatures of the night and men who dress as women; if he ever wants to pop his cherry he’s going to have to make some concessions somewhere. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/series/114250    the one where the Hales are related to the Addams series by callunavulgari    8k, Stiles/Derek, AU, uuuuh gore?, 

“So is this a werewolf thing or a you thing?” Stiles asks eventually. He’s half-hysterical, but his heartbeat is still steadier than Derek would have expected it to be. “Because I’m pretty sure Scott would die if I chopped off his head.”

“It’s a me thing,” Derek says. “Well, it’s a Hale thing. A Hale-Addams thing. Look, can you help me reattach this? I’m a bit out of practice, so it’ll be easier if you do it.”

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518480    Better Than Deep-fried Twinkies by shift (clarz)    7k, Stiles/Derek, AU, rodeo, 

There’s a guy sitting cross-legged in the hay, seemingly unconcerned with the cow excrement almost certainly contained within it; Inara’s laid down in front of him, and he’s leaning forward, her huge head cupped tenderly in his hands, his cheek almost touching hers. He looks completely enraptured, staring into her eyes intensely and rubbing her cheeks in slow circles, leaning into her with his whole body like she’s precious and beautiful and everything he ever wanted. It’s weirdly intense, and should really be off-putting, but Inara looks sleepy and calm and happy, and Derek is way too distracted watching the guy’s hands, long-fingered and beautiful, massaging her face tenderly.

In which Stiles hits on Derek's cow, then hits on Derek. Also in which Stiles' eyelashes are favorably compared with those of a cow.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4646664    as you are by veterization   34k, Peter/Stiles, 

Stiles runs straight into a tree and suddenly, things are... different. Namely, he's in a world where Peter Hale is his boyfriend.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/486351    Hearts in High-Vis by tourdefierce    7k, Stiles/Derek, smut, exhibitionism, 

It's three days after the events of Master Plan (S2 Finale).

A fic in which Stiles has questions, Derek wants to talk about his feelings, everyone is hurting and not really anything gets resolved or answered but they do manage a puppy-pile.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15741372   The PlayLiszt by dylanssourwolf    21k, Stiles/Derek, AU, hand kink, classical music, 

Dr. Derek Hale is one of the most qualified musicologists in the country. He’s damn proud to be one of the most sought-after specialists in the world; he’s done his fair share of travelling to colleges all over the country to to give insights on the musical structures of some of the most famous pieces of classical literature.

While he can't really play any of those pieces, he does have a particular choice of pianist when it comes to listening. Mieczysław.Derek likes to think he’s in love with the guy, even though he isn’t sure if Mieczysław is a first name or a last name or even a name at all, and he's never once gotten a glimpse of the pianist’s face. It’s about the music, the money-makers, and the guy’s hands are plastered on everything.

The only other pianist who may be well on his way to being as talented as Mieczysław is a student by the name of Stiles Stilinski. He's just come back to school after a semester off and is now taking an independent study with Derek, who's trying desperately not to fall for his student. There's one peculiar thing; Stiles always has his hands mostly covered by fingerless gloves, yet still, Derek swears he's seen them somewhere. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225304    We Are Here by suburbanmotel    7k, Stiles/Derek, pining, touch starved, h/c, 

Derek is touch starved. Stiles has beautiful hands. And so it goes. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11697558   Bittersweet and Strange, Finding You Can Change (Learning You Were Wrong) by WithMyTeeth (Ylith)    50k, Stiles/Derek, AU, fake dating, sugar daddy, 

When perpetual loner and failwolf extraordinaire Derek Hale finally loses patience with his meddling family, he grabs a confused Stiles Stilinski, unsuspecting diner patron and herbal medicine student, off the street to pose as his new boyfriend. Hijinks ensue. 

.  

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10503357    To Build a Home (Of Sorts) by nogitsune_lichen    75k, Stiles/Derek, slow burn, angst, fluff, 

The words were stuck on loop, Stiles’ broken voice repeating them over and over. Derek didn’t realize he was crying until he let out a broken noise, so low he could barely hear it himself. His hands dug into his eyes trying to stop the flow but the tears kept coming. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t be strong like he’s supposed to be.

He was weak. So weak.

He walked away from the only person that felt like home.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he couldn’t help but acknowledge that by the time he got back, his home would be miles away, once again leaving him all alone.

///

Or the healing/getting together AU that involves building a house together and a healthy dose of angst.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1047593    You Are series by Livinginfictions     104k Stiles/Derek, fake dating, 

With the Hale pack finally settled and safe, it only makes sense that something would happen to screw it all up. To top it all off, Stiles has to pretend to be Derek's mate, or face a pack of angry Alphas. He's doomed.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15202121    Lost on you by devilscut    51k, Stiles/Derek/Peter, polyamory, incest, 

A deadly encounter with an Alpha changes Stiles' life forever - kicked out and betrayed by his best friend and brother, Scott McCall, he leaves Beacon Hills, but much to his surprise not alone. Ten years down the track, living a life he never dreamed possible, a chance meeting brings back memories of that night - the good and bad mixed with a whole lotta WTF that even now still has him scratching his head as to what happened. 

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/15931463    Door to Door Enquiries by katiemorag    1k, Stiles/Derek, 

John and one of his deputies are carrying out door to door enquiries when Derek Hale answers the door of the final house on the street wearing only a pair of boxers.

Those boxers look really familiar to John.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142392    lift you to your higher ground by verity    4k, Stiles/Derek, awkward boners, 

Derek takes a deep breath before he looks up. "I was going to Jungle to pick up a guy."

"Huh." Stiles taps his fingers against his bottom lip. They come away red; there's already lipstick on his teeth. "You know, there's an app for that. Grindr. You're—I bet you could just get guys to come over, like pizza delivery."

"I don't like pizza," Derek says.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/781435   Of college boys, old tv shows, trust and heavy petting. by Original_Cypher    7k, Stiles/Derek, neck....kink?, maybe trust kink??,

It's a quiet midday during Spring Break at Derek's. Stiles is set on a lazy afternoon, and judging by the way Derek is sinking into the couch, he won't get any arguments from the sleepy alpha, so he settles for his usual routine of 'petting the werewolf's hair'. It all goes like usual until they make an interesting discovery.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183982    make something good by verity    7k, Stiles/Derek, kid fic, babysitting, lactation kink, 

Stiles sighs and slouches down in his chair, taps his pencil against his desk irritably. He spent a year and a half fighting evil, being evil, and then fighting evil again, and now he's just—a glorified babysitter.

This is how it ends: not with a bang, but a whimper.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057876    all wound up in you by verity    2k, Stiles/Derek, fluff, physical disability, bed sharing, knitting,

Stiles's blue project grows steadily, the finished pieces draped over each other haphazardly on one edge of the knitting basket in the living room. Sometimes Derek touches them, squishing the springy wool between his fingertips. Maybe it's an afghan: those are supposed to take a long time to make.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/1562651    the devil makes work by llassah    7k, Stiles/Derek, masturbation, awkward sexual situations, 

“It takes Stiles four days to notice something’s wrong. Well it’s not like jerking off three times a day is unusual behavior. The third day, he has his usual good morning session, comes straight home from Lacrosse and jerks off without even taking off his jeans because it’s laundry day tomorrow and it’s not like he’s got standards. And everyone jerks off last thing at night; it’s like a glass of warm milk for your dick.”

Stiles has been hit by a jerking off curse. He might not make it through May unscathed.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1239916    stem of the bloom by languisity    5k, Stiles/Derek, Nemeton/Stiles, dubious consentacles, first time, 

“I have to fuck that tree,” he tells Scott and Allison at lunch. The cafeteria is packed but Stiles doesn’t bother to keep his voice down.

“Okay,” Scott says. “Wait, what?” He’s been a little slow lately, but that’s forgivable. True Alphahood, darkness in his heart. Those things build up.

“The Nemeton,” Stiles says, rolling a tater tot around in ketchup. “I’m gonna put my dick in it.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/936514    the dog days are over by M_Leigh    5k, Stiles/Derek, wolf!derek, stiles is a dick, 

"To say that Scott and Stiles are surprised when Derek manages to turn into a wolf – a big one, an actual real-sized wolf that probably weighs twice as much as Stiles on a good day – would be an understatement of the highest caliber, but even so, they’re not half as surprised as Derek himself."

Derek changes into a wolf. He decides to stay that way.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/521237    Lovebitten by LunaCanisLupus_22    10k, Stiles/Derek, awkwardness, 

The one where Derek gets bitten by a lovebug and Stiles is the first person he lays eyes on. Hilarity ensues.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/712284    Your Yoda I will Be by darksylvia    5k, Stiles/Derek, 

Stiles offers to give Derek tactical training.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/762715    may your path be the sound by magneticwave    13k, Melissa/Sheriff, Stiles/Derek, 

This may make Melissa a terrible mother, but things were so much easier when Scott and Stiles were unpopular and spent their weekends on either her or John’s couch, playing Mario Kart and talking about all of the stuff they were never going to be cool enough to do. Scott and Stiles’ weekends now mostly involve blood and Derek Hale.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/698441    Special Collections by hannah_baker    16k, Stiles/Derek, AU, everybody lives, 

Stiles Stilinski is a senior in college working on his thesis. Derek Hale is the grumpy (though inhumanely attractive) special collections librarian. All they needed was a common interest to spark a friendship that becomes more than either of the bargained for.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/703198    A Life Less Ordinary by Jebiwonkenobi    19k, Stiles/Derek, buried alive, giants, 

It takes a few years but eventually they manage to agree on something; Derek Hale is an asshole, and Stiles Stilinski is in love with him.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16303505   Captain’s Log: I am Sly as a Fox by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    42k, Stiles/Derek, pining, fox!stiles, magical mishap, 

Derek wandered into the store with him, some of the cashiers cooing at Stiles because, yes, yes, he was very cute, thank you. He was getting more attention as a fox than he’d ever gotten as a human.

Figures.

He just pouted while being carried through the store, one of the girls helping Derek with what he needed and bringing it all to the cash register for him since he seemed reluctant to loosen his grip on Stiles. He probably didn’t want him wiggling free and wreaking havoc across the store.

He was pretty destructive, he’d admit that.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15452388   Breathing You In by lavenderlotion    29k, Peter/Stiles, PTSD, touch starved, 

“Good morning, kiddo,” his dad said, and the words hurt.

All Stiles wanted to do was step forward and let his dad hug him, allow his father to give him comfort. His father's hugs had always been all-encompassing, the way he would fold himself around Stiles and hold him as tightly as he could.

Stiles stepped around him, careful not to let foreign skin touch anything that was special to him.

Anything he loved.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225304    We Are Here by suburbanmotel    7k, Stiles/Derek, pining, touch starved, h/c, 

Derek is touch starved. Stiles has beautiful hands. And so it goes.

.

.

Onward to Part 2!

[moaccyrk]

Some of my favorite excerpts:

“Sometimes I worry about our cultural emphasis on alignment and agreement versus compassion. Meaning I worry that in the culture war, it’s all about being on the right side of the fight, and if you aren't? To hell with ya. Sometimes I worry that in call out culture, we have no idea what to do with "part 2" of the situation once the called-out genuinely wants to get better. We just want them to go away forever (which literally no one can do). Sometimes I worry people think their morality and what makes them good just depends on pointing at the bad people and saying they're bad. Sometimes I worry in a way where I have these grand outlandish thoughts where I want to look everyone in the eye and ask the provoking question: "Okay, if this country literally broke out into a race war, with minorities on one side and white people on the other, and there was fighting in the streets... What would you really do?" Sometimes I worry about the maelstrom of polarity and how it causes the "rational centrists" to end up mistaking abject philosophical hatred as "a side in a debate" against those merely expressing ire about a basic lack of civil rights. And thus the centrists end up sliding into the eye-rolling "both sides are wrong" conservative-leaning pit of doom like Laci Green. I worry about all these things, because in the end, they are about systems around me and what affects me. “

“[...] I remember a moment where I was going to watch a movie with someone (and for clarity purpose, they were not white) and there was a bunch of old screeners lying around and I picked up The Big Short and was like "hey, wanna watch this?" They took a quick look at the cover and went, "Eh, five white dudes. Not really into it." It wouldn't have occurred to me, but it just hit me so suddenly. It wasn't a dismissal. There was even the acknowledgment that it was probably good. It was simply disinterest. A disinterest that stemmed from this person having been fed these kinds of omnipresent white guy movies their entire life. It didn't matter that the film was a criticism of the worst of white guy culture, for it was already something they understood intrinsically, and thus they were interested in something more specific to their own cultural interests. It's pretty simple, actually.

But you will not believe how much this still blows the minds of Hollywood white people. The modern Hollywood person still thinks they're doing a good job because they make minority-focused films and think of them as niche (despite the constant evidence good films will blow up, like Get Out, Girls Trip, etc). But white films? White is for everyone! White is default!

*laughs maniacally*“

“White entertainment haaaates thinking of itself as niche, but it always really has been. And it is that acknowledgement that is the most important part. Not defensiveness, not feeling like we are bad, nor that the Coen's are bad for doing this. Just simple acknowledgment that it is what it is. For so long, white culture has had (and of course still does have) a lock on the direction of pop culture, and the time has simply come to tell better stories, more inclusive stories, or, in the very least, show awareness of an intersectional world. For instance, the other night I saw Spider-Man: Homecoming and while it's not the Miles Morales movie that many craved, it is, in the very least, a film that shows awareness of what modern day New York actually looks like. In that, it vastly changes our sense of what these characters should be (my favorite was Tony Revolori playing Flash). To that, we have to understand that the future of geekdom is going to look a lot more like Yuri On Ice than "Ironman 6."

So, Dear Hollywood: All the criticism you feel you are hearing is really more about disinterest. And the time of the white, default omniverse is going away.“

“Why do we think every movie has to have 100% consensus?

If you look at the very definition of intersectionality, you have to acknowledge that conflicting interests and needs are at the very heart of it. Thus, 100% consensus is a literally impossible. Sure, there are overlaps in what we all do, but it's mostly about acknowledging and owning the things that don't overlap and how it impacts all of our lives in different ways. It's acknowledging difference. So why do we think that a movie could somehow implicitly satisfy every condition of intersectionality? And more importantly, when someone is vocal about the ways that it does not, why do we then freak out?

I'll throw out an example. While I am irrevocably biased because I know Emily and Kumail, The Big Sick is considered pretty fantastic across the board, right? In terms of consensus, it has a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is absurdly high. Plus it taps into so many brilliant conversations about intersectional culture and does so with humor and insight. So anyone who must not like it or has some complaint with it must be insane! Because they're part of this 3% that just doesn't get it! Or they have some ulterior motive! They must be dismissed somehow! We need consensus!“

“So I will ask again, what does it mean to fix your heart?

It is not a switch that is flipped. It is the constant, pervasive, everyday choice to conscious. To be present. To try to be a good person, but if you fail? If I fuck up royally? That's the most important choice. To pick yourself up. To accept consequence. To do it again. And do it every day for real and better than before. And in that choice, the biggest need for compassion is not when you succeed, but when you fail. And once you make that hard choice? Well, the smaller ones become so much easier. For instance, the other week I was on twitter and a POC writer was talking about the very real struggles "to be perfect" within the industry. In an attempt at supporting them, I jumped in with the obvious knowledge about how us white guys get a million second chances! Isn't that not fair!!? Aren't I showing my awareness?! I'm helping this conversation somehow!

But a twitter follower responded about how the person was trying to talk about their struggles and I butted in to make it about something else related to my dynamic and in the end, "it's not a good look." My first instinct to defend myself. I didn't mean it! I was agreeing! I was talking about the system and being critical of myself! I'm getting at the system! Etc. But I wasn't listening to the person or projecting their voice or understanding of the system, I was just making it about me. Especially when simple RT of the persons thread or show of support would likely do so much more. Because I've learned ally-ship isn't about rushing in and saying "I agree and here's more!" Sometimes it's just about listening and amplifying. So I just said oh shoot and apologized and everyone was like "cool, all good." That's literally it. And I got to understand a new wrinkle. But it was so much easier for me to understand in this specific moment because I wasn't being defensive, I just had to make the hard choice first to understand it wasn't about me.“

[amorremanet]

I got tagged by @a-mi-zivi

Rules: 1. Tell us your Top 10 characters from different fandoms. (…I limited myself to five, each. Except HP, because it was too hard. Dude, that was hard enough. All arranged alphabetically, not in order of preference or anything.)

2. Tag 10 people.

tagging: @bizeke @donttouchandrewminyard @derekslaura @gentlepromises @girlronanlynch @pansexualpoedamneron @gaylukeskywalkers @scarlettwitchery @saralanceing @bpdrussell & literally anyone else who wants to do it can just do it and blame me (and contrariwise, if I tagged you and you don’t want to do it, no pressure <3)

Community: Abed Nadir, Dean Pelton, Jeff Winger, Shirley Bennett, (my number five changes on a daily basis, usually between Troy, Annie, and Britta, but I can’t pick right now, so fuck it, I pick Annie Kim and Quendra with a QU)

DC: Cassandra Cain/Black Bat, Harley Quinn, Jason Todd/Red Hood, Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow, Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy

But honorable mention nods go to Dick Grayson/Nightwing, Koriand’r/Starfire, Raven/Rachel Roth, Renee Montoya/Question, Roy Harper/Speedy/Red Arrow, Stephanie Brown/Spoiler, Tim Drake/Red Robin, and Wonder Woman, and this list was hard for, “there are SO MANY CHARACTERS, THE FUCK” reasons.

And Sandman technically is a DC title, but whatever: Death, Delirium/Delight, Desire, Despair, and Dream/Morpheus of the Endless, tyvm

Good Omens: Adam “the Antichrist” Young, Anathema Device, Aziraphale, Crowley, Pepper (Pippin Galadriel Moonchild)

Harry Potter: Andromeda Black Tonks, Barty Crouch Jr., Cedric Diggory, Cho Chang, Hermione Granger, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Lavender Brown, Luna Lovegood, Pansy Parkinson, Percy Weasley, Remus Lupin, Zacharias Smith

Sirius Black and Severus Snape get to share honorable mention status because, even though they are actually in my top ten, I know that being on the same point would annoy the ever-living shit out of both of them. Which amuses me because I am easily entertained.

AlSev Potter and Scorpius Malfoy get to share a point because the ones I love are essentially headcanon, since my take on Cursed Child is, “*nods* Uh huh… that’s nice… I’m going to ignore like 99% of it, but okay, it’s nice”

Legit Honorable Mentions:

[this is where i’d list the Dumbledore family and Gellert but it’s Complicated and i can’t legit list them without needing to Discuss it, so let’s just not even bother today]

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Dean Thomas

Dolores Umbridge

(in a way where I absolutely despise her as a person, but I appreciate her presence in the story because she is, along with Barty Jr., the only fucking COMPETENT villain in the books.

Also, she’s the actual, “repulsive to the core but makes no excuses for it just like white male villains, does her own thing and fuck anyone who tries to stop her, self-determined and she has decided to be awful, feminist on a meta level where she’s terrible just to be terrible without any excuses being made for it” villain that so many people have tried to make out of Bellatrix, when…… lol no, Bellatrix is a total fucking joke, sorry ‘bout it.

Like, man, Umbridge sucks, but she enriches the story and presents an actual, credible threat that has any kind of internal consistency and isn’t just, “I read an entry on fascism in a children’s encyclopedia and made it an OTT cartoon caricature of itself and added some cult leader BS because of reasons or w/e, and named it Voldemort, lol” — I appreciate that, as a reader, even if JKR did it more by accident than anything)

Fleur Delacour

Gilderoy Lockhart

(I blame myself entirely for making up Kingsley/Lockhart headcanons and getting Defensive of him in the face of JKR’s ableism; I should’ve known better, because shit like literally always happens to me, but I did it anyway because I never fucking learn)

Harry Potter

Justin Finch-Fletchley

(……I have post-war headcanons. A lot of them. You probably don’t want to know them, though, bc they’re depressing as fuck)

Nymphadora Tonks

Parvati Patil

Regulus Black

Ron Weasley

Ted Tonks

Viktor Krum

and a whole bunch of characters who are basically headcanon because they are literally just names who do like one or two things and that's it

Hunger Games: Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair, Johanna Mason, Katniss Everdeen, Madge Undersee

Marvel: shit, I did this one last and I have to go to therapy, so this is basically, “the order in which they came to mind and I stopped at eight bc holy fucking SHIT, there are a lot of characters”  — Erik/Magneto, Kurt “Nightcrawler” Wagner (my small blue Catholic mutant son <3), Sam, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Ororo, and I feel like I should list someone else, but anyone who knows my usual type knows that Loki is exactly my type and I was all but doomed to be Loki trash. Which I am. Whoops. Sorry for my choices.

Sailor Moon: Fiore (……from the “Promise of the Rose” movie. ……I love my gay glam rock alien son), Tenoh Haruka/Sailor Uranus, Tomoe Hotaru/Sailor Saturn/Mistress Nine, Tsukino “Chibi” Usagi/Sailor Chibi Moon/Wicked Lady/Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity/etc., Tsukino Usagi/Sailor Moon/Princess + Neo Queen Serenity/etc.

Star Trek (DS9): Captain Benjamin Lafayette “the rest of Starfleet are a bunch of slackers, has YOUR captain become space Jesus and saved the entire Alpha Quadrant lately” Sisko, Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Kira Nerys, Tora Ziyal

Kasidy, Worf, Jadzia, General Martok, and Ezri get honorable mentions because this list was really hard to even whittle down to FIVE, but.

Star Wars and, “Star Trek (Everything But DS9)” were vetoed as categories because picking was hard and I didn’t feel like it.

Steven Universe: Amethyst, Connie Maheswaran, Garnet, Lapis Lazuli, Peridot

Yuri On Ice: Christophe Giacometti, Katsuki Yuuri, Lee Seung-Gil, Phichit Chulanont, Victor Nikiforov

Bonus — My Own Novel(s) bc Reasons: (also done before running to therapy) Sebastian, Pete, Josie, Margot, Lucy.