#dont tell me to chill when im minding my business in my space and youre the one who came into my ask box like wtf

[renegadeknight]

One thing about me is that if you send anonymous hate calling me a baby for expression my opinion on my own damn blog I will just laugh while I block you because there is nothing funnier to me than coming into MY space to complain about ME like bro wut??? you were not obligated to stop in just keep walking bestie

[aita-alternia]

am i the asshole for culling highbloods, fair and square in a strife duel

i (a goldblood, masking my quirk so the haters/p dont find me, otherwise goldblood is all you need to know) often participate in strife duels when im not busy being the best fucking engineer this shithole has to offer to our great empire

and lately ive been getting flack for culling these bitches like the unworthy they are, people complaining about "fairness" and "i started it" or whatever

let me give you a little story here to clear things up

so im walking right, just chilling up in the highblood part of my big city because there are NO laws that say i cannot legally just fucking stroll wherever the fuck i want as long its not trespassing, cause maybe i dont wanna flex my psionics by just flying everywhere and i have places to be

and this stupid ass indigo, pulls up, walking by me, just a couple inches taller than me (im 6'4 btw so this chick was pretty big) fucking shoulder checks me, deadass just bumps into me and doesnt say anything so im like

"dude, are you good? the fucks your problem?"

and shes like "whats YOUR problem, you should mind your space, blah blah blah blah highblood jargin im not assed to type, its disrespectful" and then her fucking moirail or whatever some olive just taps her shoulder and tries to get her on her merry way but whatever i dont give a fuck

and im like "dude you should mind YOUR space pay attention" and she gets all mad like damn bro whats your problem im fr just going on a stroll so im like "you wanna go dude we can strife right here if you wanna stay mad" and even though her moirail is protesting shes like "ok fine this wont be too long" (cocky ass bitch) and they look sad that their moirail is gonna cull some moody lowblood scum like me or however those two viewed me

so im like shit, okay, bet, you wanna play, ill play?

indigo pulls out her dinky fucking mace or whatever, sounds to me like a strife duel just began, so you know what i do?

i fire up the goddamn engine (my psionics) and PUNCH her ass, right across the jaw faster than she can say "mustard", bet she didnt expect to get fucking punched with psionics, it's a free ass way to give someone nerve damage so she kinda locks up all surprised (probably the energy i sent across his nervous system too) and next thing you know i got this bulgehead on the ground and im slamming her stupid skull into the sidewalk until its been painted filthy ass indigo (tell you what no one is immune to severe nervous system damage)

his moirails like yelling and shit and calls me a piece of shit or whatever and fine, okay, i feel kinda bad for culling someones moirail but thats just alternia man, strife rules dont care how much your moirail means to you, if i had a moirail im sure he would be sad if i got culled in a strife duel

and i knew this olive was gonna try and avenge their partner so i just sorta flew off before i had to cull someone else in a duel that was probably in an abusive relationship anyway thats always how it is with lowbloods and highbloods mixing

so am i the asshole? i didnt do anything illegal, i asked if she wanted to strife, she said yes, so i won the fucking strife duel i dont know why i feel this way, she fucking started it i dont start shit man

[skylordhorus]

i fucking hate it when u move backwards with something like last year i was of the firm belief that there is basically no such thing as unproblematic media etc and if we approached everything with “if something is dodgy here, you cannot engage” then we wouldnt be able to fuckin enjoy anything AND would miss out on education opportunities

but something has happened within the past few months that has for some reason suddenly made me start micromanaging and overanalysing every single thing i do for fear of it being offensive to someone and its just??? i dont understand. i still believe the above but its been smothered by fear and paranoia that im doing something wrong

[nevadawasnottaken]

love languages

the love language of dream smp members :) (platonic for minors! romantic for others) im doing them all bc they all deserve recognition! :D keep in mind i dont know all of their personalities well! (hbomb, antfrost, ponk, lazarbeam, etc) these are all c!dsmp (in game) those marked with * are ones im uncertain about/unfamiliar with! -- dream: gift giving or acts of service with a twinge of physical touch. mans will get anything for you, no lie. you want it? hes got it. dream xd: acts of service or gift giving. possibly touch, but i dont see him being keen on it unless its in private. i see him as someone who tries to spoil his s/o a lot. if youre a worthy lover of a god, you should be treated like one. george: probably acts of service, quality time and touch. man would probably cuddle with you while watching some movie that neither of you pay attention to. sapnap: touch or words of affirmation. he does like giving gifts on occasion though! probably something thatll remind you of him. but overall, he prefers hand holding or something. he likes knowing youre there. callahan*: quality time. i imagine he likes going places all over the smp. it makes him happy to take you places that he finds beautiful. even better when you find them beautiful too! sam: acts of service for sure. he would make you tea (or your preferred drink) on a bad day and wrap you in blankets and cuddle as much as youd like. or, he would leave you alone if you need it. hes very caring, warden persona aside. sam nook: gift giving seems his thing! or acts of service! he seems as if he would get you things to cheer you up, or just simply do things like tuck you in. if you want, he gladly will let you pet his lil ears. (yes i hc that sam nook has lil ears :) ) alyssa*: even if we dont see her much, she strikes me as the type to enjoy physical touch. hand holding or something simple. she prefers to stay out of the thick of things and chill, thanks. ponk*: touch or words of affirmation i think are very fitting. he seems the type to always have an arm around you or holding your hand. he definitely would be good at comforting, i think. badboyhalo: i think we can all agree that hes a mix of everything. i think hes most oriented with words of affirmation and quality time. he likes spending time with you, just telling you all the things he loves about you. tommy: more than likely quality time. i dont see him as one to like holding hands (”me? hold hands? grOSS! step away and leave some space for the holy spirit!”) or anything. hes not good with words of affirmation (he needs them, really) and hes a bit awkward with things like hand holding. so spending time with him is his thing. listening to his discs and joking around with you and tubbo is what makes him happy. tubbo: gift giving, touch and quality time. he likes spending time with those he cares for, as well as giving them gifts. little trinkets, mostly. for example, he gave ghostbur a bracelet woven from friends wool, and hes given tommy a ruby! :) fundy: probably gifts. fox man will find you shiny things. emeralds, diamonds, gold, you name it. even if you dont need/want it, he gets you things. rings and necklaces and bracelets. it makes him happy to see you wear them. not all at once, of course, but wear them nonetheless. punz*: acts of service and touch. hes the type to arrange your things to suprise you or leave you flowers on a bad day. he also would probably cuddle and ramble about how perfect you are to him. purpled*: quality time. i think he would gladly spend time with you if you asked him to :) wilbur: a little bit of everything, i think. but one thing i think he would definitely do is write songs, so basically making playlists, but he sings for you instead! but for one of the main ones, i think he mostly is one for touch and affirmations. he likes being comforted/comforting you. ghostbur: gift giving or touch. quality time, too! i think he likes giving you things (like blue!) in general. he also seems very clingy (which is adorable <3 anyone who says its not can fight me rn) and would gladly hold your hand! he often will just take it anyways. :) (”i like holding your hand! your hands are nice to hold because theyre warm!”) schlatt: quality time. like tommy, i think he isnt one for touch. maybe he will give you gifts, but spending time with him is enough of a gift for him. skeppy*: gift giving. he would probably get you big gifts, like stuffed animals or something. or photos. seems like a skeppy type thing to me. :) eret: a little of everything, i think. but i see his thing being touch and quality time. i think they would very gladly cuddle if you asked them to! but shes big spoon, no doubt about it. only little spoon if you ask. jack manifold*: acts of service or touch. he would make you food if you wanted it, i think, or hold your hand. maybe not the best with comfort or cooking, but he tries. (”look i- i know the cookies arent good, but its the thought that counds, right?”) niki: words of affirmation, quality time and touch would all be nikis thing! :) she would spend time with you, probably cuddling and providing comfort if needed. she would remind you every day that youre loved and youre worth it. quackity: definitely touch and quality time. when hes not busy, he takes you places. often to watch the sunset. he also strikes me as one for pda! a bit shy at first, but relaxes into it. hes definitely one to say “gotta show off my partner! >:)” mexican dream*: words of affirmation but in spanish dont @ me karl: do we need to even question this? (spoiler alert: quality time and touch) hbomb*: strikes me as the type for quality time and some touch :) techno: probably acts of service, gift giving and quality time. he likes holidays like christmas and your birthday because he can give you things. he likes shiny things! and he likes you, so he gives them to you! antfrost*: quality time and touch seem fitting. just the peace of being together. philza: quality time and gift giving with a bit of touch. he likes when you touch his wings, running your fingertips over the smooth feathers, or fixing any ruffled spots. he also likes spending quiet time together. he can give words of affirmation and comfort if you need them. connor*: probably touch! i see him as the type to want to hold your hand a lot. so def one for pda :) puffy: probably quality time and words of affirmation. goat mom would def be able to encourage and comfort you. vikkstar*: i think touch is fitting :) pda really, and acts of service lazarbeam*: acts of service seem most fitting! he seems the type to do things for you, especially on bad days. ranboo: gift giving and quality time! he is definitely the type to get you little things! or grass blocks. he gets sad if you rid of a grass block, so you kinda have to store em. or kindly explain that you dont want dirt inside, so you can put the grass blocks outside. foolish: the type for acts of service, i think! and maybe some touch. i think he gladly will do things for you, no questions asked. (unless it seems harmful ofc!) hannah*: seems the type to like words of affirmation (giving and receiving!) especially on your/her bad days. slimecicle: gift giving. he probably picks you flowers and does nice things whilst being sarcastic. he will comfort you on bad days, though. -- as usual, lmk if i should change tags! requests are open! 

[saltwatersweetner]

End Me

Eren x Reader

A Prequel of Sorts. Eren never fought for control preferring the security of your hold on him but you could never fully domesticate a wild animal it seemed.

Part 1 Part 3

CW: Manipulation, Toxic Relationship, Attempted Murder, Unhealthy coping mechanisms all in all mildly unsettling themes.

Eren knew how to be good—painfully so. He also knew how to be bad—concerningly so. He was a creature of habit. He did whatever he decided was best for him at the moment and maybe thats what lead you to your current stare down.

“Eren I said move.”

“Fuck what you said.”

Frowning you tried to think what honestly could have brought this mood upon him. It couldn’t have been because you were going out he always understood your random need to socialize. You also can’t remember purposefully setting him off, not in the mood and you weren’t completely cruel to ignore his random—even for him mood change—more in tune to your partners mood swings and emotions than you were to you own.

Carefully reaching out for him you raise an eyebrow when he moves away from your—for now—gentle touch “Are you really upset or just being a brat?”

“Stop talking to me.”

Huffing you choose to ignore his attitude and slip your coat over your shoulders just in time for a knock to be heard from the front door. With Eren on your heels you open the door for your friend.

“Y/N I called but you didn’t answer so I just came up.”

You get a flashback of Eren throwing a tantrum not even 30 minutes ago and launching your device from you 6th floor apartment “Yeah I dropped my phone off the balcony but lets go—Eren be good.”

His glare turns even more deadly when Reiner politely wraps an arm around your shoulders. Closing the door behind you Reiner laughs into the quiet hall “Be good? What is he your dog?”

“Something like that.”

Reiner was a friend an attractive one at that and Eren didn’t like it at all. He hated anyone that was even remotely close to you because you already didn’t like anyone but with Reiner it was different. You let him touch you and hold you.

Eren hated it, he hated it so much—and to make matters worse you didn’t care about his feelings—not one bit.

After a night of bar hopping and watching Bertholdt make a fool of himself in front of Annie, Reiner once again brought you home.

“It was nice seeing you, without your guard dog.” The face he made at the thought of Eren wasn’t a nice one.

“Aw sweetheart don’t be mean.” Reaching up you hold his warm cheek in your slightly chilled hand.

You knew jealousy when you saw it, could detect the slightest change of emotion when it was presented to you. He leans into your hold like a cat seeking out affection—much different than Eren’s wild way of seeking you out.

“Don’t be jealous my dear use your words.”

Reiners face was slowly moving closer to yours and you smirk in amusement. It would seem you had a knack for catching the attention for boys who were looking to be controlled.

“Y/N....”

Your door swings open before Reiner can kiss you and Eren is looking beyond livid. Reiner freezes his fight or flight telling him to run but you keep him steady with your palm.

“Were you waiting for me?”

Eren’s nod is slow and deliberate his eyes still glaring at the nonexistent space between you and the blond.

“Then that ends our time together, goodnight Reiner.” He shivers in what you think is glee from the acknowledgment of the time you spent with him.

“Goodnight.” He doesn’t acknowledge Eren any longer and hurries out to the elevator.

Turning back to the aforementioned boy you make a motion with your wrist “Move.”

When he eventually does get out of your way your hyper aware of the way he sticks to you almost like glue. Throwing your coat over the back of your couch you stretch and lead him to the kitchen.

“You hungry? All I’ve done is drink tonight I could really eat—“

He swings you into the wall by the neck. The alcohol in your system made it incredibly difficult to feel the pain you knew was blossoming up your back so all you could do was stare at the man before you.

You saw the endless sea of madness that unlike you he didn’t bother to cover up. Everyone found the look endearing on him like he never left that childishness behind but you knew the truth.

You could slowly feel yourself starting to suffocate. You didn’t bother panicking because as it had it Eren had all the power right now. If he or you moved the wrong way your neck was as good as snapped.

“Why did you let him touch you?”

Putting a calm hand on his wrist you try and fail to alleviate some of the pressure being forced down on your windpipe “Why. Does. It. Matter.”

Eren was breathing unevenly stuck between fighting his impulses and actually causing some damage “You’re mine you’re—you’re not supposed to—“

“Says. Who?” That makes him let go.

As it would have it you and Eren weren’t dating in any shape or form but he belonged to you. You brought him pleasure that he couldn’t find anywhere else. He was entirely devout to you and you only, all on his own fruition. From the moment he’d accidentally bumped into you and saw through the mask you wore. From the moment he stalked you from the moment he’d shown himself to you begging for salvation.

He wanted to play the game—wanted to be entertained in the morbid way regular people would get sick to their stomachs at—and you let him. You found him amusing enough to keep around but you refused to belong to anyone but yourself.

He was losing the game and fast. As his god you couldn’t be bothered with feeling bad for him.

“Now we can eat or you can sit here and starve whats it gonna be?”

Eren looked terribly unwell like he was about to fold in on himself “u-um eat please.”

You’d never seen him look so unsure before and it made you excited. How would he cry for you next? Would he try to fight more, yell and scream? Or would it be silent and broken?

Flicking your wrist you busy yourself in the kitchen “Good choice, go sit.”

He does as he’s told mumbling words to himself along the way. Was it cruel? Maybe. But you couldn’t be bothered considering how much of a thorn in your side he’d been all day.

You wanted to break him more and till he was nothing but crushed up stars slipping away in the wind. You almost felt bad for how much you were going to ruin him.

But he was your property after all to do with what you wanted. No one could stop you even if they tried. Especially because he let you and thats what made keeping him around so worth it.

You didn’t have the capability of feeling anything close to love no matter how fond of the boy you actually were. So you settled with ownership—they were damn near synonymous anyways.

So you proceeded as normal—well as normal as you are. You order the food you feed him and you move on to wash the dishes. He’d eventually get out of his feelings because he didn’t have the mental capacity to dwell on certain emotions for too long. It was all but routine now.

“Eren bring me whatever dishes you left lying around.”

“...ok.”

Filling the sink with a mixture of water soap and a drop of bleach you wait patiently for the boy to bring what you requested. Turning off the tap You almost get impatient when it seemed like he was taking forever.

“Eren—“ you’re grabbed by the back of the head and shoved face first into the sudsy water.

You try with all your strength to get your head out of the sink but Eren just doesn’t stop. He’d never...hurt you before? Never acted out in this manner it startled you maybe.

And you were slowly but surely drowning.

When he finally does let you up you drop to the floor taking in large gulps of air. Your eyes stung from the mix of bleach and soapy water and you were suddenly freezing.

“Dont,” you look up to eren to see he once again wore that livid expression.

“Dont you ever think about leaving me do you understand?” His breathing was already heavy but now it was slowly turning into hyperventilation. “I’ll kill you I’ll fucking kill you if you ever l-leave me.”

You watched him begin to sob, dropping on his knees he crowded closer to you looking every bit of the victim he made himself.

“Im sorry I’m good I’ll be good I swear!” He tries to touch you but you smack his hands away making him sob harder.

You knew Eren you knew him. His inclination of violence had never been towards you and yet?

“Hit me hit me hit me im sorry please im good I promise.”

Those were the only words that made sense to you in the moment. You were a violent creature by nature one who prioritized your own life before anyone else’s, you’ve never done anything you didnt doubt you’d be able to get out of and yet? Eren had surprised you and not in a good way.

Your eyes come back into focus and you see the pitiful look he wore as if he hadn’t just almost killed you “Hit me please?”

And so you do.

You punch him right in the face with all your strength causing him to fly back against the tiles and you don’t stop there. You let out all the frustration from your near death experience out onto his body completely aware of the blissed out smile he now sported.

Regardless your mind was going 1 million miles per hour as one thing became clear. Eren was slipping out of your control and fast. One day you feared he’d be the one in control and that wasn’t a game you wanted to play.

You’re in control.

You were IN control

You not him.

You.

You freeze. Fist inches from his face.

It was like your body was in forced reboot you couldn’t move your thoughts finally spiraled too far and too fast for you to reach.

You weren’t in control?

Starring at the needy expression on his face you came to the horrific realization that maybe you’d been playing in his hands all this time. He’d been able to get anything he ever wanted out of you—he knew it too.

Did you really—no you couldn’t be right?

“I’m good see?”

Wrong—you were in so fucking deep.

Slowing your breathing you lower your once trembling fist “Get. Out.”

“Huh?”

Climbing off his chest you wipe the remaining water off your face “Get the fuck out I dont wanna see you.”

Eren hadn’t expected this outcome considering how hurt he looked “B-but where am I supposed to go?”

It was a stupid question you both knew he had his own dorm to himself but he’d been so used to sleeping with you every night that he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

Rolling your eyes you til your head “I dont care.”

“I cant sleep without you.”

“Cry about it.”

Hauling his shocked form up and out of your home you slam the door shut and immediately turn all three locks ignoring his soft cries from the other side.

Pulling at your wet shirt you could feel the breakdown coming. How did he do it? How’d he make your carefully crafted control snap?

Going into your room you lock that door as well before snatching the throw blanket from the end of your bed and a pillow. Going into your walk-in closet you close the door behind you and navigate in the dark to the farthest corner and sit.

You sit and sit and sit and sit and sit...and then you scream.

You scream until your lungs are raw and your voice is gone and you’re not sure when exactly you started scratching at your face but the stinging thats left behind is brutal.

You needed to think.

You needed a plan.

You needed—fuck you didnt know.

But you did know Eren was about to become a much bigger problem.

[p0gue420]

!Too Young To Feel Numb! (Kie x Reader)

ATTENTION!! There are a lot of trigger warnings in this one! Including: drinking, drugs, talks of feeling alone, depression.

Summary: Y/n started smoking weed at the age of 8, It’s all she’d known; She grew up around it so it was normal for her to start super young, she told herself that’s the farthest she’d go...only smoking weed..never any hard drugs. She thought she could learn from her parent's mistakes, guess not. 

pairing: Kie x female!reader, Rafe x Platonic! reader, JJ x Sister figure! reader

Warnings: Substance abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, marijuana Underage drinking,(reader is 15),

A/N: Alot of grammar errors because i dont feel like checking it so sorry....not really,hehe

---------

I use to think people were crazy for even thinking about doing anything harder than weed. Yeah...I was like 7 so it doesn’t count.”Yo you gonna babysit that shit or pass it, I mean...I have all day but  would love to do something besides wait for you to pass the blunt.” I rolled my eyes waiting for JJ to hand it to me.”Chill, what’s up your ass today?”

He finally passes it, after what felt like hours. I take a long hit before seeing he’s actually wanting me to answer his question.”Nothin. man, I’ve just got places to be.” I mumbled out hoping he wouldn’t start asking any further questions. He stares blankly awaiting me to pass it back, knowing I don’t share my feelings so he simply lays off. “Hey. You trynna go surfing today….whenever you’re done with your….things..?”

“Uhh, yeah text me and-” I’m cut off by the sound of my phone vibrating...Barry.

Barry:

Meet in twenty? I got extra today

I look up from my phone stuttering my words, and fumbling.“Uhm, I gotta go do something, but I’ll text you later to surf, yeah?” I say nodding towards JJ as I began walking out.”Uhm yea sure, hey-” I was already out the door.”-be safe.” he muttered to himself left wondering why I left so fast. On the way to my bike, I ran into Kie and Pope laughing about something before Kie began to make her way over towards me.

“Hey, Y/n! Heading out so fast, are we?”Kie pouted her lip out mimicking a whimpering sound.” heh, yeah sorry bub. I gotta go handle some things and I’ll be back later.” I peck her lips in a swift movement as well as pull up the front of her crop top, covering her exposed cleavage.”Those are my love,keep them covered” I wink at her. She laughs and heads inside after blowing me a kiss,that I catch and pretend to place in my heart..Wow im so whipped.

My thoughts cut off by a loud vibrating noise.

Barry:

You coming?

Read: 46 sec.ago

Me:

Omw now!

Read: just now

I hop on my bike heading over to Barry’s place knowing a shortcut I found a few days ago.

It only takes 10 minutes before i’m in front of his house walking up the steps of the porch.My clean oxygen is immediately replaced by the smell of cigarettes,weed,and...Is that burnt hair?I scrunch my face in disgust at the awful smells.”Aye look who it is!” Barry calls out after seeing my face, He’s standing beside..Rafe cameron.

Now...I’m not friends with Rafe but i also don’t exactly despise him.I babysat wheezie all summer last year,most the time he’d join..keep me company;I don’t think he knew i was with Kie but he’s not all bad.He’s helped me more times than I can count,only because i've done the same for him though.

“Yo waddup.I didn’t expect to see you here.” I share a short handshake with Barry and side hug Rafe,he seems unprepared for it so he stumbles a bit but eventually hugs back quickly.”uh yeah.just doing some..business” Rafe says avoiding eye contact,looking everywhere except my face.”anyway i'm gonna head out, i'll catch you guys later.” Rafe walks towards,im guessing his bike;I head inside following barry so i didn’t really catch what he drove in.

“So like I said I've got your usual ,and then I got a little extra something I thought you may like.”He continues on but I'm so wrapped up in the fact that I want to consume something soon,anything;I don’t know exactly what he's saying.”Sound good?” He asked “Uh what?sorry I zoned out a bit.”I shook my head pushing my long hair out of my eyes.”Look,Usually altogether this would be alot of money but considering I stole the pills,I'll spare you the oxy,wadda yuh say?”, “Yeah sure,80$?”

He nods his head holding his hand out as i hand him the money.He hands you a bag full of coke in a plastic baggy, along with the pills in its original container it was prescribed. “Ight,thanks man.Ill see you later next week!” I wave goodbye as I show myself out, shoving the ‘things’ I had bought into my bag and swinging it back on my back.

~Incoming call from:Bubbs<3

I instantly pick up not wanting to worry her.

I instantly hear the boys laughing and playing in the background,but wait for her to say something.”Hey baby, you heading back yet?” Kie questioned sounding bored of the childish boys we spend our time with.”Not yet,i promise im almost done,ask the boys if there's drinks at the chateau please.”She turns her head away from the boys asking what there is to drink besides sink water.

I hear a chorus of “We just stocked up”,”All good momma bird.” and other sayings coming from the overly hyper boys.”Did you hear that,or need me to repeat?” She hesitantly says, making sure I’m still listening ”Gotcha,I'm headed your way now,see you there” I say quickly hanging up without giving her time to respond.

I hop on my bike and drive towards…...the opposite of the chateau,instead deciding to go to the Camerons.I drive,stuck in thought of what ill do when i get there,not quite sure why i decided to come.I had been so lost in thought I didn’t realise I was suddenly at the Cameron residence. I park my bike and began walking up to the door,but before I can knock,Rafe walks up behind me.

“Y/n?” I swiftly turn around being scared for a minute before realizing who it was.”Oh!uhm. yeah...hey” I ‘smoothly’ say”what are you doing here?” he asks..The whole conversation was a blur and before I knew it I was walking up to his room to hang out.I sit on the bed laying back asking about what he wants to do.”I don't know,you came here,what'd you have in mind?” He asked curiously.”I'm not sure.” I snorted at my inability to maintain a conversation.

I dig into my bag as he starts up about how he broke his bed frame the other day, because he put too many boxes on the bed while getting rid of some old things. I finally found what I was looking for,the baggy of white powder.I lifted it up smiling widely.”Can I do this here or no?”I question,feeling my body begin to sweat at the thought of getting to snort the white powder.

“Uh,I mean.. yea sure,didn't know you did that kind of thing.. but I mean go ahead.” He rambles. He stares into space as I do a few lines, my eyes opening wide at the sensation of sudden adrenaline;I look over to see him trying not to stare.”Oh my bad,You want some?” I ask holding up the dollar folded into a cylinder shape , gesturing to the lines of coke spread on the dresser.

---

Hours go by,giggling,cracking jokes with rafe as well as doing oxy and maybe overdoing it with the coke seeing as the bag was almost gone.Rafe hasn't done much.I on the other hand was feeling VERY shaky and everything was just so hilarious..until it wasnt.My high started to get bad and overall scary.I must've did too much in such a limited amount of time.I look at my phone .

17 missed calls from Bubbs<3

8 missed calls from John B:)

9 missed calls from Popey boi

11 missed calls from JJ

Incoming call from Bubbs<3

“He-h-hello ,hi,hey.”

“DON'T ‘HI’ ME!” Kie instantly began screaming into the phone making me move my face away from it as Rafe looked at me with a worried expression on his face.

“Y/n,Where have you been! I’ve been so worried! I’ve-” I Blanked out again not in the mood to be yelled at.”Yeah,hey I nee-need,will-can youcomeandpickme up” I say jumbling all my words together. “Are you okay?Why are you talking like that?''She ask worried about my state of mind.

“Yeah am- I fine,Yes” I say yet again struggling to sound normal. I guess I was on speaker because JJ immediately began yelling into the phone asking about where I was.”Rafes house” Rafe sat silently waiting for them to break out into hysterics about me being with him.The phone went silent for a moment before the call ended.”So does that mean they not-....Vodka” was all i said before heading downstairs Rafe was sober enough to be able to notice what i was doing.I quickly went downstair searching through the freezer.

“Yessss.”I exclaimed before chugging the vodka.”Rafe continuously asking me to give him the bottle.I chugg at least half the pint bottle before having to give it up because Sarah comes down the stairs.”Y/n what're you doing here?” She asks excitedly until she saw me tripping over my own feet walking towards her,”Woah!” she caught me just before I hit the floor.

She turned to the door hearing someone pull up.Kie.”Rafe what did you do to her?” Sarah asked, holding me up scared of how out of it I was.”SHE BROUGHT COKE HERE,i did a bit with her, but she did A LOT. I legit did nothing this time I swear on everything!”He trailed back up the stairs not caring about the situation now that Sarah was there to take care of you. 

I began to sweat, tears running down my face. scared of what's happening to me.John b and Kie rush through the front doors asking where I am.”IN HERE GUYS!” Sarah screamed for them to hear her.My eyes rolling to the back of my head as I went in and out of consciousness.

“BABYYYY!!!” i exclaimed making grabby hands at Kie as i started crying harder

Sarah helped me stand up shakingly as I tried to walk to my girlfriend,She came running towards me with a concerned look on her face. She grabs my face pecking my lips,”Bub. I need you to listen to me, okay?” I nodd in awe of the gorgeous girl in front of me.”John B is gonna take you to the van,we need you to tell us everything you took to get in this state, okay?” I drowsily  nodded,growing tired.

Just as she said,the tall boy picked me up bridal style carrying me out to the twinkie.

I take notice to seating arrangement so i can close my eyes and know whos talking ,JJ being in the passenger seat,Pope watching From the bench behind the driver's seat.Kie stepped up into the van sitting on the floor of the vehicle waiting for John B to place me down beside her.As he did I sat up enough to lean my back against her chest.

JJ was surprisingly silent.Too silent.Pope looked so worried at my sweating body and dripping wet hair from  sweat,tears,and vodka mixture.”Okay,Y/n,What did you take?” my girlfriend sits grabbing my face turning me to face her, my legs straddling her thighs on the floor as I nuzzle my head into the crook of her neck,but she pushes my head up making me pout but not being able to maintain due to the dizziness. “I took a few oxy,uhm when I -then i did a few lines of coke,and…..i chugged half a pint of vodka..” i said tears filling my eyes trying to not look into anyone's eyes,

Silent JJ was no more .”Are you fucking kidding me.Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n.You’re not supposed to take oxy and drink alcohol together.much less do oxy or coke at all.ARE YOU DUMB!” JJ began turning around. A Quiet ‘im sorry’ came from my mouth.John B finally pulled into the chateau.

Kie carried me while my face stayed nuzzled in her neck still crying due to my,still,VERY high state.she sat me down on the couch out on the porch as everyone except her,went to get a few things.Pope came back with water and a wet rag to place on my head.JJ brought a blanket,John B came back empty handed because he only went inside to pee.

“Kie?” I whispered scared she was mad.”Yes baby?” 

“Are you mad at me?” I questioned hiding my face in her shoulder due to the amount of dizziness being insured. She leaned her head on mine with an unknown amount of emotions,not quite sure of how to fully answer. “No I- I just don’t know what you were thinking I just- Well I figured you wouldn’t ever do anything like this considering what we talked about-and -and what you went through with your parents..” 

“I know-I wanted to feel better tho..I just feel like i have no one-”

Shortly realising the guys were still in on the conversation as Pope cut in.

“Y/n, you have,and always will have us..” I lift my head from the girls shoulder  before slowly looking at Pope in his sad worried eyes.

“I guess, I like-I dont know guys what you want me to say..Im trying to be better for myself for everybody,but nothing was working and i ran into barry one day and we talked and he offered a way to help,of course i was hesitant but its really not that bad...Im actually fine!” I said standing up as John b followed me.

“y/n, you were just saying you need help,so what the fuck are we supposed to do ,one minute you need help and having to be ushered here so you dont die! And-and-the next thing you’re yelling at us about how your fine,you’re not fine and you know it!” I stopped as I watched the long haired boy fight back tears trying to explain how all of them feel.

“Fuck you guys honestly,Im not a child i know how i feel,this is all just bullshit!” I yelled at them all, I ran to the spare bedroom covered in sweat,tears,and vodka; I slowly sink into the bed as tears fall down my face crying myself to sleep,what i didn’t know was that my bestfriend’s and girlfriend were all huddled up outside the door awaiting me to fall asleep so that they could come in and cuddle me to make me feel better.Sometimes things get better, but i dont think this is one of those times atleast for now anyway..

[shewritestheblues]

The Elevator Bae x Chapter 6

Chapter SIX

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

-------------------

Camren stood in the center of everyone as they crowded around her singing Happy Birthday to her. She was all smiles with her Birthday Girl tiara on, holding up her glass of champagne. She swayed her hips back and forth until they finished.

“Thank you guys! This dinner was amazing. I love every single one of yall, but.. Ya’ girl is ready to turn up,” She points to Mica and Phoenix. “I know there’s more.”

“There’s always more.” Mica says.

Camren says good-bye to her family. Phoenix and Ava thanked everyone for coming out while Mica headed to the parking lot to get Ava’s truck.

Camren, Phoenix, Tiana and Ave piled themselves in Ava’s truck and Mica drove them to the club. As they approached the door, one of the security guards noticed Phoenix.

“Big Blue! What’s up lil mama?”

“Hey Jimmy.” she hugs him.

“They with you?” he motions to the women behind her.

“Of course. It’s Cam’s bday.”

Jimmy nods his head in Camren’s direction, “Happy Birthday. Blue got you the best section in this bitch.”

Camren can’t control herself, bouncing on her feet. “She was always my favorite.”

All of the women look at Camren. “Anything for you, Cam.” Phoenix says, grabbing Camren’s hand is leading them inside. Mica was the last in the small line of women and Jimmy stopped her.

“What’s your name lil mama?”

Mica looked him up and down, checking out his tatted, chiseled arms. He stands 6’4 with the prettiest teeth she had seen on a man. “Mica.” she finally responded.

“Come see me before y’all leave, alright?”

“Yeah, I got you.”

He winks at her and she turns to continue into the club where she found her friends watching her from inside the door.

“I see you, Mica. He fine as hell.” Tiana says.

The ladies follow Phoenix as she leads them to through the club. They traveled across the dance floor, around a huge bar and up a flight of stairs and glowed as they stepped on each step. They continued walking until they reached a huge section, with four bottles of Hennessy already waiting on ice. Coby was already there with a few other friends. He greeted each woman with a huge until her got to Ava. He wrapped his arms around her, grabbing her ass and kissing her. Phoenix proceeded to line up shot glasses and fill them with Hennessy. Each of her friends grabbed their glass, raising it in the air.

“Happy Birthday Camren. We love your crazy ass to the moon and back.” Phoenix says.

Everyone shouts, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAM!”

Tossing their shot glasses back, the women have begun their turn up. A few more shots and they were all twerking on each other and talking their shit, rapping along to every song that came on.

“We need a group picture.” Camren yells into Mica’s ear. Mica passes the message on, gathering all the women up near the balcony. Coby patiently waiting, and laughing, as they tried to map out their drunk poses.

“Can y’all c’mon?”

“WE’RE READY!”

Coby takes their pictures, getting every angle just in case somebody doesn’t like their face in the last pic. Because someone WILL decide on one that they don’t like.

“Send those to me.” Each of them yelled at Coby.

They continued to drink and dance. Drinking always gave Phoenix a bit more courage (and weed calms her nerves enough for her to be bold). She was also an I love you drunk and the feeling were starting to come out. She sat on Ava’s lap, hugging her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Philly.” Ava smiles.

Mica, Camren and Tiana stood in front of them, “You don’t love us?” Camren yelled.

“Of course I love you. I love all of you so much.”

“We love you too.”

Camren pulls all of them into a group hug. “Thank You for my birthday.”

--------

As the night progressed, Phoenix found herself just sitting on the couch, babysitting her fourth drink, watching everyone around her. Mica joins her on the couch.

“You good?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m just chilling.”

“Did you text your man, yet?”

“My what!” Phoenix acts surprised.

“YOUR MAN!”

Phoenix playfully rolls her eyes, “No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t-- I don’t wanna be all clingy. He just gave me his number a couple hours ago.”

Camren squeezes herself between them. “What are yall over here talking about?”

Mica looks at Phoenix, expecting her to spill it. She looks away, avoiding eye contact.

“Ugh. I’m trying to tell her to text her man.” Mica finally speaks up.

Camren pinches Phoenix, making her look back to them. “You have a man? Philly! Is he cute?”

“He’s not my man.”

“You want him to be. I seen how y’all was looking at each other.” Mica intervenes.

“We’re building a friendship.” Phoenix says trying to convince herself more than her friends.

“Those are the best kinds. But you never told me if he’s cute or not.”

“Yea--”

Mica interrupts, shaking her head. “The nigga is fine, Cam. He thick too. He just screams big dick energy.”

Camren looks impressed. “Girl, text him.”

Phoenix sighs, processing her friends words. The two of them leave her be on the couch once again. She downs the rest of her drink because fuck it. Erik is about to get this text. She picks up her phone from the table in front of her, typing her message.

Phoenix: Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

------------

Erik had just laid down in his bed. Tired was an understatement. He had worked out hard, earlier that day. After his exchange with Phoenix in the garage, he stopped by his friend, TJ’s place. Catching up and playing 2k. He had cancelled plans with TJ to go to the studio with Phoenix. After a few hours of that and eating a pound of wings, he was home, showered and ready to sleep. That is, until his phone vibrated on his nightstand. He reached for it not really expecting it to be anything. A random number texted him with the message, Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

He knew better. Of course it was Phoenix, but Erik being Erik, he had to have fun with this. His sleep could wait. His thumbs moved around the small keyboard, creating a response.

----------

Phoenix watched as the text bubbles popped up. She bit her lip to stop her smile from forming and waiting to see what he is going to say.

Erik😛: hmm, 🤔this Tiffany?

Phoenix: Boy, you got me fucked up.

Erik😛: lmao. Relax, Im just messing with you. I know this you baby girl.

Phoenix: You’re an asshole.🙄

Erik😛: You dont mind it though.

Phoenix: anyways. Wyd?

-------

Erik had completely sat up in his bed now. He wasted no time on saving her number as ‘Babygirl’.

Erik: Been laying here, waiting on you to hit me up. You still out?

Babygirl: Yeah and my bad.🙈 Didn't mean to keep you waiting.

Erik: I don't mind waiting on you.

Babygirl: Don’t make me blush Stevens.

Erik pictured just how she looks blushing and that made him blush. His cheeks were becoming sore from how big he was smiling. Little did he know, she was looking like a complete dork, smiling at her phone in the middle of the club as well.

———

Phoenix sat in the corner of the club couch texting Erik until her friends were ready to go. They had all decided they would stay at Coby’s house for the night. His place was their usual ‘after the club’ crashing spot. He had plenty of space for all of them. Tonight would be no different. The women piled into Ava’s Jeep. Camren laid out on the laps of those who sat in the back seat and Ava sat up front with her man. One of Coby’s friends took charge of his car and followed him home.

Phoenix couldn’t wait to make it to Coby’s house to continue texting Erik. She kept her phone in her clutch. She didn’t want to risk one of friends seeing her texting him and trying to be all up in her business even more than they already were.

“Let’s get some wings.” Camren shouted from the backseat.

“Where in the hell are we gonna get some wings from at 2:30 in the morning Cam?”

“I don’t know. I’m hungry.”

“I’m hungry too.” Mica and Tiana said at the same time.

“You hungry too, Philly?” Coby asked, looking at her through the rear view mirror.

“When am I not hungry?”

“Y’all gotta be shitting me,” Coby drags his hands over his face. He looks over to see Ava passed out against the window. “Listen. There nowhere that’s open right now that has wings. I can take y’all to McDonalds.”

“YES! I want some nuggets.” Camren sat up, almost hitting her head on the top of the truck.

“Anything else?” Coby asked.

The women started shouting out orders.

“Large fry.” “Nuggets!” “McChicken with cheese.” “Nuggets.”

Coby headed to McDonalds to get their food and take them to his house. He knew they would regret this decision in the morning but he’d rather that than to hear a bunch of drunk women cuss him out over some damn Nuggets if he told them No.

It took forever for McDonald’s to fill his large order. The women whined in protest to how long they were waiting. They finally got the food and dug in without a second thought.

“And y’all better not spill shit in her truck. I’m not trynna hear Ava’s mouth about nothing tomorrow.”

With that being said, Coby got them in the house safely and full. Each woman crashed in different areas of the house. By the time they made it to their destination, Phoenix had forgotten about her text conversation with Erik and passed out in one of Coby’s guest rooms.

————-

Waking up was rough. Phoenix could feel her heart beating in her head. She rolled around the bed, feeling through the sheets for her phone. The sun was shining bright through the window, she her task was tough when her head was buried under the covers. Not having any luck, she finally got up, still in her dress, to look for her clutch. Somehow, it made its way to the floor at the foot of the bed. She took out her phone to see that it's just past noon and she had two unread text from Erik. She grinned big, swiping her screen to open the messages. She scrolled a bit to read her last response to see what exactly he was responding to because in all honesty, she only remembered a few bits of last night after her third shot.

Phoenix: So are you gonna tell me your reasons for picking the tongue out emoji?

Erik😛: You’re not ready to find that out yet.

Erik😛: lol, you must be KO. Hope you had fun baby girl. Text me when you get up.

Phoenix couldn’t contain her excitement that they were actually texting each other now. No more waiting to just see him on the elevators. Her excitement took a turn when her head started spinning. She felt a knot in her throat. She tried to swallow it back down but there was no stopping it. She had to find a toilet, NOW! She ran into the guest bathroom, throwing up last nights drunk food. She leaned over the toilet, chastising herself. Finally sure that she got it all out, she got up to slowly walk her body out into the hallway. Since Coby’s house is their go to after the club, Coby started keeping a change of clothes for them. She made her way to the hall closet where he kept, t-shirts, leggings, etc along with towels. She picked out a fresh set of clothes and towels and went back into the guest bathroom and showered.

Phoenix got dressed and put her hair up into a top knot bun and went downstairs to find everyone else. She found Coby and Ava in the kitchen. Mica was still asleep in the living room, on the couch. The birthday girl and Tiana were somewhere, probably still asleep.

“Morning.” Coby said. His voice sounded like he was speaking in a megaphone.

“Morning.” she whined.

“C’mon over here,” He motioned to the car seat next to Ava, who was leaning over her arm. “I’ll make you some coffee too.”

Phoenix joined them, laying her head down over her hands. Coby started making her some coffee. He placed the creamer and sugar in front of her.

“My face hurt.” Ava finally spoke.

Coby slid a fresh cup of coffee to Phoenix. She added her creamer and more than enough sugar and sipped it slow.

“It’s almost one. I doubt we make it to brunch.” Phoenix says between sips.

They sat there in silence for awhile before they heard someone dragging their feet into the kitchen. “Morning.” They heard from a yawning voice. It was Camren.

“Morning, birthday girl.” Coby said.

“Stop yelling.” Camren said, leaning over the counter.

“I’m not yelling.”

“I want coffee.”

“Me too.” Mica says, joining them in the kitchen with Tiana right behind her. Coby went ahead and made all three of them some coffee. “Y’all need to eat.” He said filling their mugs.

“I want Roscoe’s.” Camren says.

“Tell me what y’all want and I’ll get it. I know yall asses aint trying to leave no time soon.”

Ava typed up their orders on her phone and sent it in a text to Coby. He left to get their food. While they waited, Camren, Mica and Tiana took showers. Ava and Phoenix waited for them to finish in the backyard, on the patio. They sat out there, both wearing a pair of Coby’s sunglasses in an attempt to block out the sun.

Phoenix remembered that she hadn’t yet texted Erik back. Her thumbs hovered over the phone until she could figure out what to say.

Phoenix: Hey, sorry. I was slumped last night. Good afternoon though.

The text bubbles popped up immediately.

Erik😛: It’s all good baby girl. You have fun?

Phoenix: Yeah. Feels like Im dying now though.

Erik😛: You eat something yet?

Phoenix: Coby’s getting us food. He should be here soon. Wyd?

Erik😛: Tell that nigga hurry up and feed my girl.

Erik😛: Im running some errands.

His girl? Phoenix didn’t mind being called his girl.

Phoenix: Im ya’ girl now?

Before Erik could text back, the rest of her friends joined her and Ava outside and they all started talking about the night before. Reminiscing on the fun times they had. Camren thanked them again for making sure her birthday was special.

“We have one more gift for you, Cam Bam.” Mica says.

“Yall have done enough. Stop it.”

“Girl bye. It’s your birthday.” Ava says walking back into the house.

“What y'all get me?” Camren looks at Phoenix and Mica. Neither of them respond. “Stop playing. What is it?”

Ava joins them again with an envelope in hand, giving it to Camren. “Open it.”

She opens it and pulls out a packet that pictures a villa and things to do on an island.

“What is this?” she yells out in excitement.

Tiana snatches the papers from her hands, “Girl, a vacation.”

“Are yall serious?”

“Mhmm,” Phoenix nods her head. “Five nights and six days in Turks and Caicos. Next month. All five of us.”

Camren started to cry. They hugged her and made fun of her for always crying. Coby comes back in with the food. He brings it outside to them.

“Damn, Cam. You always crying, bro.” he says, sitting the food on the table.

“Shut up. They got me a vacation.”

------------

Phoenix walks through her door, exhausted. She threw her body on her couch. What a day. Camren loved her birthday and her gift. Phoenix enjoyed her friends but let's be honest… people, including her friends, were tiring. Her social battery died hours ago. The relief to be home, alone in her own space. She laid there with her eyes closed, taking in the silence of her living room. Her phone goes off, taking Phoenix from her mind. She gets up to find it. She dropped all of her belongings on the floor when she came in and searched through her bag for it. Finally finding it, she has a text from Erik.

Erik😛: You made it in?

Suddenly, Phoenix had energy. She sat on the floor, bringing her knees to her chest. Smiling down at her phone, she responds.

Phoenix: yeah. Just got in.

Erik😛: wow, smh. Thanks for letting me know.

Phoenix: lol im sorry.

Biting her lip, she wants to do something. Her thumbs hover her keyboard. Erik hadn’t texted back yet so she still had time. Fuck it! What’s the worst that could happen?

Phoenix: Are you home?

The three minutes it took for him to respond felt like three years. Her palms were sweaty as she watched the bubbles pop up on the screen.

Erik😛: yeah. Whats up?

Phoenix: wanna come hang out with me?

Phoenix drops her phone on the floor. Her nerves taking over. “What the fuck am I doing? Am I doing this right now?” Her phone dings. She couldn’t open the message. What if he doesn’t want to? She picks up her phone, taking in a shaky breath as she swipes his message open.

Erik😛: 👀 yeah.

Erik😛: I got something for you too.

Phoenix: for me? What is it?

Erik😛: I’ll be down there in a minute. You’ll see.

Phoenix jumps up and picking up her bag and clothes from the night before, tossing them in her room and closing her bedroom door. She rushes back into the living room, turning on the tv. She checks her snack cabinet. She has plenty. “Okay...okay,” she says to herself. “We’re all good. This is gonna be cool. Just two friends--” her words are cut off by a knock at the door. She wipes her sweaty palms on her leggings and makes her way to the door. She opens the door and the site before her, snatched her breath. Erik stood there with his bare, muscled arms on full display as he sported a crisp, white fitted tank, paired with heather grey joggers that hung low. His dreads hung wildly over his face. She took in his seemingly flawless appearance piece by piece. Phoenix hadn’t realized that she was standing there, just staring at him until her waved his hand in her face, breaking her trance.

“Phoenix!” his voice boomed through her ears, flowing down into her chest. She squeezes eyes shut to regroup. She opens her eyes, pushing a small smile.

“Sorry.” she steps back to welcome him in.

He chuckles to himself. “You good, baby girl. You like what you see. I understand.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Stevens.”

He follows her to the couch. He digs into his pocket, pulling out a blunt. “This is for you.”

“Aw, thanks Stevens. We can smoke this right now, actually.”

He gives her a lighter and she lights the blunt taking a hit. Then another. She passes it to him. He takes a drag.

“So Stevens, I figured you could watch Steven Universe with me and eat Oreos.”

“Steven Universe? What the fuck is that?” he passes her the blunt.

“Only my favorite cartoon ever. It’s really good. You’re gonna like it.”

She gives him back the blunt and starts the show from episode one. She grabs a few snacks from the kitchen. “Look what I got.” She holds up two Martinelli Apple Juice. Erik holds his heart with a smile.

“You remembered.”

She joins him again on the couch, sitting so close, their thighs were touching. As the first episode begins, Phoenix sings along with the theme song. Erik watches her with a smile at how excited she was to be singing along. Erik reached down, grabbing her ankles and sliding her legs over his lap. She watched him, not taking her eyes from his hands as his fingertips trailed up her leg until he reached her thigh. He gripped her thigh and massaged it. The entire time his eyes never left the tv screen. Phoenix’s breath hitched as he continued rubbing the spot where his hand rested on her. She looked up at him. He was sitting there like he was just unaware of what he was doing. Something happened on the show that made him laugh and she watched as his body bounced with laughter. To distract herself, she stuffed an Oreo in her mouth and did her best to pay attention to the tv.

“Damn girl, you hogging the cookies.”

Phoenix had been cradling the pack of cookies, eating one right after the other. “Sorry. You want one?”

“Yeah. Feed me one.”

“Feed you one?”

“Yeah, c’mon girl.” He opened his mouth.

She slowly swallowed the remaining pieces she was holding in her mouth. She held the Oreo between her fingers, “You want me to break it for you?”

He cuts his eye at her. “Phoenix, I’m a grown ass man. Put the cookie in my mouth.”

She looked at him with a smirk. She would gladly put the cookie in his mouth. She giggled as she fed him the cookie. He caught on to why she was tickled and laughed himself. “You’re childish baby girl.”

“You said it.”

They continued watching the show and eventually ate the entire pack of Oreos. They were seven episodes deep when Phoenix found herself leaning on Erik’s shoulder. Her fingers were absentmindedly tracing his scars. When she noticed what she was doing, she looked at him, wondering if he knew what she was doing. Was he secretly enjoying it? He could feel her staring at the side of his face. He peeks over at her.

“What?” he asked.

She rubs her thumbs over her scars in thought. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Looking at his arm, “What’s the meaning behind these?”

He watches as her thumbs move softly over his scars. He clenches his jaw and unclenches. Their eyes meet.

“Can I trust you?” he asked.

“I’m pretty sure if you couldn’t trust me, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now.”

“True. If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won’t look at me any differently.”

“I promise.”

He sits there for a moment, gathering the right words. Phoenix was patient with him. She knew there was a deeper story to him. She was willing to sit there as long as she needed for him to feel comfortable. She continued to rub her thumb over her scars in the hopes that it would settle his thoughts.

“Remember when I told you my parents died when I was young and I had to take care of myself?” he started. Phoenix nodded, remembering their conversation in the studio. “That shit changed me. It was nothing that I could do. I was ready to give it to any and everybody. But I was smart about it. I went to the Navy. I trained. I worked hard. I was the best nigga they had. When it was time to get my boots on the ground, I made sure I always hit my target and anything that tried to get in my way. Each kill became a mark.”

Phoenix’s eyes trailed down in arm. There were so many scars. That meant so many bodies.

“I was top ranked. I was given the name Killmonger because I had so many kills.” he continued. “The scars were my way of making sure everybody knew how powerful I was. I wasn’t somebody to be fucked with. I’m not that helpless little boy on missions.”

Phoenix’s thumb motions stopped but she still held his arm in her hand. He looked over at her, searching her face for any sign of disgust or hate. Nothing. Her eyes met his.

“So you still do those missions?” she asked.

“Yeah. They’re a little different now.”

Phoenix seemed interested in what he meant. So he continued telling her how he is chosen for the top missions because of his skill. She asked about his parents and for the first time ever, Erik explained the truth about them. His mother dying in prison. His father being a prince of Wakanda and being killed by his own brother. The more he talked about Wakanda, Phoenix became confused.

“Wait… I thought Wakanada was like a third world country.” she said.

“That’s what they tell the world, but it’s far from a third world country.”

Phoenix sat there quietly, looking off at nothing. She pulled herself away from him in thought. He took that as her hating him.

“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you Phoenix.”

Her head snapped toward him. “It never crossed my mind that you would. I don’t think you’re a big, bad, scary person, E. Like you said, you did what you had to do.”

“Then why did you move over there?”

“Just thinking. I couldn’t imagine having to go through any of that. Here I am thinking my life was so shitty back in Detroit. Sure, it was bad but things could’ve been worse. You’re strong as fuck and honestly, I wish I had balls like you.”

A cheesy smile crept up on Erik’s face. “Nobody got balls like me.”

Phoenix looks at him with a straight face. “Wow. Here I am thinking we’re having a moment and you wanna talk about your balls.”

“You brought up my balls baby girl. I’ll gladly share them with you.”

“You know what I meant.” She said, hitting him in the chest.

“C’mere you little angry bird.” Erik pulls Phoenix back over to him. This time, he pulled her onto his lap. Sitting on him, she could feel his dick under his thin shorts. This man was blessed. He moved his body up, adjusting himself. He had to know exactly what he was doing. Staying up there would be dangerous. She needed to move herself. So she slid her body down to where she is now pinned between him and the arm of the chair. He legs are sitting on top of his. He gripped her thighs again. “You made me miss what happened so we have to start this episode over.” He picked up the remote, restarting the episode. Phoenix didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. The two of them continue watching Steven Universe like nothing ever happened. He wrapped his hand around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Phoenix had drifted off to sleep. Erik softly shook her awake.

“Philly. Wake up baby girl.”

Phoenix slowly wakes up, stretching. “How long was I sleep?”

“Not long. But it’s getting late. I’m gonna get out of her and let you rest.”

Phoenix lays back on his shoulder. “You’re really comfortable.”

Erik scoops Phoenix up in his arms. He picks her up, as he stands and setting her down carefully on her feet. They share a smile. She follows him to the door to let him out. When they approach the door, Erik turns around and snakes his hand around Phoenix’s waist, pulling her into a hug. She automatically wrapped both of her arms around his neck. She took in his presence, one last time. He pulled back, grabbing her chin. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. Her body melted into his as laid her head against his chest. “Don’t forget to text me about your show tomorrow.” he spoke lowly in her ear. All Phoenix would do was nod her head. He opened the door, stepping out.

“Goodnight baby girl.”

“Night, E.”

Closing the door and locking it. Phoenix leaned back on the door. She wanted so bad to turn her head and catch his lips with hers. She fought against it. Her brain now ringing with the ‘what if’s’ if she did. She couldn’t do this to herself. She was going to bed.

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

[girlwiththelightson-god]

so the jail support mutual aid group that i’m a part of has been being antagonized by this cab driver who parks across from where we work. hes not a liscenced cabbie really - my understanding of his “origin story” is that he was a yellow cab guy who has hung out outside the jail for decades occaisionally picking up fares when people are released with money or have family members with cash at the destination. hes been there for so long in many ways its largely social - he has his other cabbie buddy, he rubs elbows with the COs - but he feels very much like its his space. at some point the jail told the yellow cab companies to buzz off, so he just stopped working with a cab company and still sits outside the jail waiting for rides.

since the beginning things were tense - hes a gregarious old school type of dude who can be pretty moody and unhinged. but i always felt deferential to him in a way - he can be a huge help, he can be a funny guy, and it doesnt feel right to gentrify out a cabbie just because we give out free rides. that being said most of the rides we give he wouldnt take anyway - people who cant afford a ride home, who dont have a conventional home to go back to, people who need to collect their seized property from the county -- and on top of that he really just chills in his car most of the time. but for a long time we were like, OK, when we’re at capacity we send some rides his way. No problemo.

Problemo. the things he says start to alienate people. he definitely does not know the agreedupon vernancular when discussing LGBTQ issues. this begins to make people feel unsafe, and he also becomes more moody as the weather gets colder. 

a chicago summer renders the city into a carceral boomtown - kids minding their own business get picked up on bullshit drug charges that get thrown out the next day, legal gun owners get caught in the midst of constantly changing regulations that mean that the way you store your legal firearm today can get you thrown in the pen tomorrow (of course, only if you’re black), everyones out enjoying the weather so if you have a warrant and some cop with a chip on their shoulder sees you, you’re screwed. that being said - in winter, things slow way down. i have no doubt that the economic impact of this seasonal change influences the broader drama of this situation from henceforth.

Back to the problem - soon it feels like him screaming at us that we’re taking his fares, or don’t know what we’re doing, or are giving other cab drivers too many fares, is an every night occurence. People start feeling unsafe - you hear this guy say a couple slurs... and hes loud and angry......but to me i was like. Well you’re white. This is an elderly black man who is pretty much living hand to mouth. I wanted to be in a position where we could provide hims ome material financial support via pay for rides (that, due to our understaffing, we still needed help with) and everything seemed chill. We were sort of telling offended people to check their own privilege and assumptions. Because I don’t have a lot of energy and time for people who criminalize and pathologize black masculinity. 

Regardless our policies and attempts to play ball don’t matter - whatever we do still isnt good enough. Its clear that he views us giving any sort of rides to people as a threat to his livelihood despite, as i’ve said, us only really giving rides that he wouldn’t take anyway, and being as deferential as we can to give rides that seem like a good fit for him - to him -- which also is eating at our financials. And the contingent of people feeling hurt, threatened, burnt out by dealing with him grows.it becomes clear that ignoring this group of people is coming off as callous and silencing voices. there are people whos departure from the organization is clearly linked to this guy bothering us -- and his hassling is getting worse. He starts talking about burning down our tent, slashing our tires, etc.

Maybe coming from a more working class or hick town, being a str8 white boy, i never felt the fear in my dealings with him, just a lot of frustration. But i became one of the few people who can really get in the car with him and talk out how he feels, doing my best to act as a go between from the group to him. I take a lot of verbal abuse and shit talk throughout this but always call him on this. To me the key failure of the young american left is an unability to engage materially with real working class people who do not speak in such flowery language and have not been as understanding of the large-scale social developments that have been undertaken since the obama presidency especially around “microaggressions” and the defied canonization of identity politics from an aspect of Marxism to the underlying dogma of most centrist-to-center left projects. Le sigh! So I tried to fit in where I was effective and act as a filter - sifting out this guys bullshit and calming him down so we can have a good normal talk. Honestly? This begins to wear on me. Im a conforntantion averse person, ask anyone...

We have a referendum on everything and its clear that no one except me and my gf are even open to the idea of still working with this guy. So we (me, some other volunteers) decide to have a sit down chat with him this week. 

Well on Sunday i guess he was walking over to us hollering and talking major shit - normally we can handle this, but this time we actually had people who had been released from jail waiting for a ride as he was coming to talk shit. The people waiting couldn’t bear to hear the way he was yelling at his and start to intervene. He flips out and goes to his car, a beat up classic coupe, and produces some sort of steel pole weapon. He starts pounding on the light post by our tent with it and rushes our tent threatening to kick it down. The situation is deescalated, but holy shit.

So now we’re having a sit down chat with him tonight to figure how what  moving forward looks like. I dont think we’re ever going to work with him again, but he’s also cearly not going anywhere - he’s been at that area for a long time and again, considers himself the don of it - so I simply don’t know what will happen. I’m sick to my stomach thinking about this, how fucked up and weird and sad it all is to have to deal with, when this mutual aid project is otherwise such a beautiful and harmonious thing.

[dreamgirl4certain]

The Elevator Bae

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE

Chapter SIX

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

A/N: This one is kinda long. I had a good, black time writing this chapter. Things are definitely picking up more with this one. :)

Camren stood in the center of everyone as they crowded around her singing Happy Birthday to her. She was all smiles with her Birthday Girl tiara on, holding up her glass of champagne. She swayed her hips back and forth until they finished.

“Thank you guys! This dinner was amazing. I love every single one of yall, but.. Ya’ girl is ready to turn up,” She points to Mica and Phoenix. “I know there’s more.”

“There’s always more.” Mica says.

Camren says good-bye to her family. Phoenix and Ava thanked everyone for coming out while Mica headed to the parking lot to get Ava’s truck.

Camren, Phoenix, Tiana and Ava piled themselves in Ava’s truck and Mica drove them to the club. As they approached the door, one of the security guards noticed Phoenix.

“Big Blue! What’s up lil mama?”

“Hey Jimmy.” she hugs him.

“They with you?” he motions to the women behind her.

“Of course. It’s Cam’s Bday.”

Jimmy nods his head in Camren’s direction, “Happy Birthday. Blue got you the best section in this bitch.”

Camren can’t control herself, bouncing on her feet. “She was always my favorite.”

All of the women look at Camren. “Anything for you, Cam.” Phoenix says, grabbing Camren’s hand is leading them inside. Mica was the last in the small line of women and Jimmy stopped her.

“What’s your name lil mama?”

Mica looked him up and down, checking out his tatted, chiseled arms. He stands 6’4 with the prettiest teeth she had seen on a man. “Mica.” she finally responded.

“Come see me before y’all leave, alright?”

“Yeah, I got you.”

He winks at her and she turns to continue into the club where she found her friends watching her from inside the door.

“I see you, Mica. He fine as hell.” Tiana says.

The ladies follow Phoenix as she leads them to through the club. They traveled across the dance floor, around a huge bar and up a flight of stairs and glowed as they stepped on each step. They continued walking until they reached a huge section, with four bottles of Hennessy already waiting on ice. Coby was already there with a few other friends. He greeted each woman with a hug until her got to Ava. He wrapped his arms around her, grabbing her ass and kissing her. Phoenix proceeded to line up shot glasses and fill them with Hennessy. Each of her friends grabbed their glass, raising it in the air.

“Happy Birthday Camren. We love your crazy ass to the moon and back.” Phoenix says.

Everyone shouts, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAM!”

Tossing their shot glasses back, the women have begun their turn up. A few more shots and they were all twerking on each other and talking their shit, rapping along to every song that came on.

“We need a group picture.” Camren yells into Mica’s ear. Mica passes the message on, gathering all the women up near the balcony. Coby patiently waiting, and laughing, as they tried to map out their drunk poses.

“Can y’all c’mon?”

“WE’RE READY!”

Coby takes their pictures, getting every angle just in case somebody doesn’t like their face in the last pic. Because someone WILL decide on one that they don’t like.

“Send those to me.” Each of them yelled at Coby.

They continued to drink and dance. Drinking always gave Phoenix a bit more courage (and weed calms her nerves enough for her to be bold). She was also an I love you drunk and the feeling were starting to come out. She sat on Ava’s lap, hugging her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Philly.” Ava smiles.

Mica, Camren and Tiana stood in front of them, “You don’t love us?” Camren yelled.

“Of course I love you. I love all of you so much.”

“We love you too.”

Camren pulls all of them into a group hug. “Thank You for my birthday.”

--------

As the night progressed, Phoenix found herself just sitting on the couch, babysitting her fourth drink, watching everyone around her. Mica joins her on the couch.

“You good?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m just chilling.”

“Did you text your man, yet?”

“My what!” Phoenix acts surprised.

“YOUR MAN!”

Phoenix playfully rolls her eyes, “No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t-- I don’t wanna be all clingy. He just gave me his number a couple hours ago.”

Camren squeezes herself between them. “What are yall over here talking about?”

Mica looks at Phoenix, expecting her to spill it. She looks away, avoiding eye contact.

“Ugh. I’m trying to tell her to text her man.” Mica finally speaks up.

Camren pinches Phoenix, making her look back to them. “You have a man? Philly! Is he cute?”

“He’s not my man.”

“You want him to be. I seen how y’all was looking at each other.” Mica intervenes.

“We’re building a friendship.” Phoenix says trying to convince herself more than her friends.

“Those are the best kinds. But IS HE CUTE?!”

“Yea--”

“The nigga is fine, Cam,” Mica interrupts, shaking her head. “He thick too. He just screams big dick energy.”

Camren looks impressed. “Girl, text him.”

Phoenix sighs, processing her friends words. The two of them leave her be on the couch once again. She downs the rest of her drink because fuck it. Erik is about to get this text. She picks up her phone from the table in front of her, typing her message.

Phoenix: Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

------------

Erik had just laid down in his bed. Tired was an understatement. He had worked out hard, earlier that day. After his exchange with Phoenix in the garage, he stopped by his friend, TJ’s place. Catching up and playing 2k. He had cancelled plans with TJ to go to the studio with Phoenix. After a few hours of that and eating a pound of wings, he was home, showered and ready to sleep. That is, until his phone vibrated on his nightstand. He reached for it not really expecting it to be anything. A random number texted him with the message, Wassup Stevens. Guess who?

He knew better. Of course it was Phoenix, but Erik being Erik, he had to have fun with this. His sleep could wait. His thumbs moved around the small keyboard, creating a response.

----------

Phoenix watched as the text bubbles popped up. She bit her lip to stop her smile from forming and waiting to see what he is going to say.

Erik😛: hmm, 🤔this Tiffany?

Phoenix: Boy, you got me fucked up.

Erik😛: lmao. Relax, Im just messing with you. I know this you baby girl.

Phoenix: You’re an asshole.🙄

Erik😛: You dont mind it though.

Phoenix: anyways. Wyd?

-------

Erik had completely sat up in his bed now. He wasted no time on saving her number as ‘Babygirl’.

Erik: Been laying here, waiting on you to hit me up. You still out?

Babygirl: Yeah and my bad.🙈 Didn't mean to keep you waiting.

Erik: I don't mind waiting on you.

Babygirl: Don’t make me blush Stevens.

Erik pictured just how she looks blushing and that made him blush. His cheeks were becoming sore from how big he was smiling. Little did he know, she was looking like a complete dork, smiling at her phone in the middle of the club as well.

———

Phoenix sat in the corner of the club couch texting Erik until her friends were ready to go. They had all decided they would stay at Coby’s house for the night. His place was their usual ‘after the club’ crashing spot. He had plenty of space for all of them. Tonight would be no different. The women piled into Ava’s Jeep. Camren laid out on the laps of those who sat in the back seat and Ava sat up front with her man. One of Coby’s friends took charge of his car and followed him home.

Phoenix couldn’t wait to make it to Coby’s house to continue texting Erik. She kept her phone in her clutch. She didn’t want to risk one of friends seeing her texting him and trying to be all up in her business even more than they already were.

“Let’s get some wings.” Camren shouted from the backseat.

“Where in the hell are we gonna get some wings from at 2:30 in the morning Cam?”

“I don’t know. I’m hungry.”

“I’m hungry too.” Mica and Tiana said at the same time.

“Let me guess. You hungry too, Philly?” Coby asked, looking at her through the rear view mirror.

“When am I not hungry?”

“Y’all gotta be shitting me,” Coby drags his hands over his face. He looks over to see Ava passed out against the window. “Listen. There’s nowhere that’s open right now that has wings. I can take y’all to McDonalds.”

“YES! I want some nuggets.” Camren sat up, almost hitting her head on the top of the truck.

“Anything else?” Coby asked.

The women started shouting out orders.

“Large fry.” “Nuggets!” “McChicken with cheese.” “Nuggets.”

Coby headed to McDonalds to get their food and take them to his house. He knew they would regret this decision in the morning but he’d rather that than to hear a bunch of drunk women cuss him out over some damn Nuggets if he told them No.

It took forever for McDonald’s to fill his large order. The women whined in protest to how long they were waiting. They finally got the food and dug in without a second thought.

“And y’all better not spill shit in her truck. I’m not trynna hear Ava’s mouth about nothing tomorrow.”

Coby got them in the house safely and full. Each woman crashed in different areas of the house. By the time they made it to their destination, Phoenix had forgotten about her text conversation with Erik and passed out in one of Coby’s guest rooms.

————-

Waking up was rough. Phoenix could feel her heart beating in her head. She rolled around the bed, feeling through the sheets for her phone. The sun was shining bright through the window, so her task was tough with her head buried under the covers. Not having any luck, she finally got up, still in her dress, to look for her clutch. Somehow, it made its way to the floor at the foot of the bed. She took out her phone to see that it's just past noon and she had two unread text from Erik. She grinned big, swiping her screen to open the messages. She scrolled a bit to read her last response to see what exactly he was responding to because in all honesty, she only remembered a few bits of last night after her third shot.

Phoenix: So are you gonna tell me your reasons for picking the tongue out emoji?

Erik😛: You’re not ready to find that out yet.

Erik😛: lol, you must be KO. Hope you had fun baby girl. Text me when you get up.

Phoenix couldn’t contain her excitement that they were actually texting each other now. No more waiting to just see him on the elevators. Her excitement took a turn when her head started spinning. She felt a knot in her throat. She tried to swallow it back down but there was no stopping it. She had to find a toilet, NOW! She ran into the guest bathroom, throwing up last nights drunk food. She leaned over the toilet, chastising herself. Finally sure that she got it all out, she got up to slowly walk her body out into the hallway. Since Coby’s house is their go to after the club, Coby started keeping a change of clothes for them. She made her way to the hall closet where he kept, t-shirts, leggings, etc along with towels. She picked out a fresh set of clothes and towels and went back into the guest bathroom and showered.

Phoenix got dressed and put her hair up into a top knot bun and went downstairs to find everyone else. She found Coby and Ava in the kitchen. Mica was still asleep in the living room, on the couch. The birthday girl and Tiana were somewhere, probably still asleep.

“Morning.” Coby said. His voice sounded like he was speaking in a megaphone.

“Morning.” she whined.

“C’mon over here,” He motioned to the car seat next to Ava, who was leaning over her arm. “I’ll make you some coffee too.”

Phoenix joined them, laying her head down over her hands. Coby started making her some coffee. He placed the creamer and sugar in front of her.

“My face hurt.” Ava finally spoke.

Coby slid a fresh cup of coffee to Phoenix. She added her creamer and more than enough sugar and sipped it slow.

“It’s almost one. I doubt we make it to brunch.” Phoenix says between sips.

They sat there in silence for awhile before they heard someone dragging their feet into the kitchen. “Morning.” They heard from a yawning voice. It was Camren.

“Morning, birthday girl.” Coby said.

“Stop yelling.” Camren said, leaning over the counter.

“I’m not yelling.”

“I want coffee.”

“Me too.” Mica says, joining them in the kitchen with Tiana right behind her. Coby went ahead and made all three of them some coffee. “Y’all need to eat.” He said filling their mugs.

“I want Roscoe’s.” Camren says.

“Tell me what y’all want and I’ll get it. I know yall asses aint trying to leave no time soon.”

Ava typed up their orders on her phone and sent it in a text to Coby. He left to get their food. While they waited, Camren, Mica and Tiana took showers. Ava and Phoenix waited for them to finish in the backyard, on the patio. They sat out there, both wearing a pair of Coby’s sunglasses in an attempt to block out the sun.

Phoenix remembered that she hadn’t yet texted Erik back. Her thumbs hovered over the phone until she could figure out what to say.

Phoenix: Hey, sorry. I was slumped last night. Good afternoon though.

The text bubbles popped up immediately.

Erik😛: It’s all good baby girl. You have fun?

Phoenix: Yeah. Feels like Im dying now though.

Erik😛: You eat something yet?

Phoenix: Coby’s getting us food. He should be here soon. Wyd?

Erik😛: Tell that nigga hurry up and feed my girl.

Erik😛: Im running some errands.

His girl? Phoenix didn’t mind being called his girl.

Phoenix: Im ya’ girl now?

Before Erik could text back, the rest of her friends joined her and Ava outside and they all started talking about the night before. Reminiscing on the fun times they had. Camren thanked them again for making sure her birthday was special.

“We have one more gift for you, Cam Bam.” Mica says.

“Yall have done enough. Stop it.”

“Girl bye. It’s your birthday.” Ava says walking back into the house.

“What y'all get me?” Camren looks at Phoenix and Mica. Neither of them respond. “Stop playing. What is it?”

Ava joins them again with an envelope in hand, giving it to Camren. “Open it.”

She opens it and pulls out a packet that pictures a villa and things to do on an island.

“What is this?” she yells out in excitement.

Tiana snatches the papers from her hands, “Girl, a vacation.”

“Are yall serious?”

“Mhmm,” Phoenix nods her head. “Five nights and six days in Turks and Caicos. Next month. All five of us.”

Camren started to cry. They hugged her and made fun of her for always crying. Coby comes back in with the food. He brings it outside to them.

“Damn, Cam. You always crying, bro.” he says, sitting the food on the table.

“Shut up. They got me a vacation.”

------------

Phoenix walks through her door, exhausted. She threw her body on her couch. What a day. Camren loved her birthday and her gift. Phoenix enjoyed her friends but let's be honest… people, including her friends, were tiring. Her social battery died hours ago. The relief to be home, alone in her own space. She laid there with her eyes closed, taking in the silence of her living room. Her phone goes off, taking Phoenix from her mind. She gets up to find it. She dropped all of her belongings on the floor when she came in and searched through her bag for it. Finally finding it, she has a text from Erik.

Erik😛: You made it in?

Suddenly, Phoenix had energy. She sat on the floor, bringing her knees to her chest. Smiling down at her phone, she responds.

Phoenix: yeah. Just got in.

Erik😛: wow, smh. Thanks for letting me know.

Phoenix: lol im sorry.

Biting her lip, she wants to do something. Her thumbs hover her keyboard. Erik hadn’t texted back yet so she still had time. Fuck it! What’s the worst that could happen?

Phoenix: Are you home?

The three minutes it took for him to respond felt like three years. Her palms were sweaty as she watched the bubbles pop up on the screen.

Erik😛: yeah. Whats up?

Phoenix: wanna come hang out with me?

Phoenix drops her phone on the floor. Her nerves taking over. “What the fuck am I doing? Am I doing this right now?” She asks herself. Her phone dings. She couldn’t open the message. What if he doesn’t want to? She picks up her phone, taking in a shaky breath as she swipes his message open.

Erik😛: 👀 yeah.

Erik😛: I got something for you too.

Phoenix: for me? What is it?

Erik😛: I’ll be down there in a minute. You’ll see.

Phoenix jumps up and picking up her bag and clothes from the night before, tossing them in her room and closing her bedroom door. She rushes back into the living room, turning on the tv. She checks her snack cabinet. She has plenty. “Okay...okay,” she says to herself. “We’re all good. This is gonna be cool. Just two friends--” her words are cut off by a knock at the door. She wipes her sweaty palms on her leggings and makes her way to the door. She opens the door and the site before her, snatched her breath. Erik stood there with his bare, muscled arms on full display as he sported a crisp, white fitted tank, paired with heather grey joggers that hung low. His dreads hung wildly over his face. She took in his seemingly flawless appearance piece by piece. Phoenix hadn’t realized that she was standing there, just staring at him until he waved his hand in her face, breaking her trance.

“Phoenix!” his voice boomed through her ears, flowing down into her chest. She squeezes eyes shut to regroup. She opens her eyes, pushing a small smile.

“Sorry.��� she steps back to welcome him in.

He chuckles to himself. “You good, baby girl. You like what you see. I understand.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Stevens.”

He follows her to the couch. He digs into his pocket, pulling out a blunt. “This is for you.”

“Aw, thanks Stevens. We can smoke this right now, actually.”

He gives her a lighter and she lights the blunt taking a hit. Then another. She passes it to him. He takes a drag.

“So Stevens, I figured you could watch Steven Universe with me and eat Oreos.”

“Steven Universe? What the fuck is that?” he passes her the blunt.

“Only my favorite cartoon ever. It’s really good. You’re gonna like it.”

She gives him back the blunt and starts the show from episode one. She grabs a few snacks from the kitchen. “Look what I got.” She holds up two Martinelli Apple Juice. Erik holds his heart with a smile.

“You remembered.”

Erik had mentioned in the studio how much her loved Martinelli’s. She joins him again on the couch, sitting so close, their thighs were touching. As the first episode begins, Phoenix sings along with the theme song. Erik watches her with a smile. Erik reached down, grabbing her ankles and sliding her legs over his lap. She watched him, not taking her eyes from his hands as his fingertips trailed up her leg until he reached her thigh. He gripped her thigh and massaged it. The entire time his eyes never left the tv screen. Phoenix’s breath hitched as he continued rubbing the spot where his hand rested on her. She looked up at him. He was sitting there like he was just unaware of what he was doing. Something happened on the show that made him laugh and she watched as his body bounced with laughter. To distract herself, she stuffed an Oreo in her mouth and did her best to pay attention to the tv.

“Damn girl, you hogging the cookies.”

Phoenix had been cradling the pack of cookies, eating one right after the other. “Sorry. You want one?”

“Yeah. Feed me one.”

“Feed you one?”

“Yeah, c’mon girl.” He opened his mouth.

She slowly swallowed the remaining pieces she was holding in her mouth. She held the Oreo between her fingers, “You want me to break it for you?”

He cuts his eye at her. “Phoenix, I’m a grown ass man. Put the cookie in my mouth.”

She looked at him with a smirk. She would gladly put the cookie in his mouth. She giggled as she fed him the cookie. He caught on to why she was tickled and laughed himself. “You’re childish baby girl.”

“You said it.”

They continued watching the show and eventually ate the entire pack of Oreos. They were seven episodes deep when Phoenix found herself leaning on Erik’s shoulder. Her fingers were absentmindedly tracing his scars. When she noticed what she was doing, she looked at him, wondering if he knew what she was doing. Was he secretly enjoying it? He could feel her staring at the side of his face. He peeks over at her.

“What?” he asked.

She rubs her thumbs over her scars in thought. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Looking at his arm, “What’s the meaning behind these?”

He watches as her thumbs move softly over his scars. He clenches his jaw and unclenches. Their eyes meet.

“Can I trust you?” he asked.

“I’m pretty sure if you couldn’t trust me, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me right now.”

“True. If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won’t look at me any differently.”

“I promise.”

He sits there for a moment, gathering the right words. Phoenix was patient with him. She knew there was a deeper story to him. She was willing to sit there as long as she needed for him to feel comfortable. She continued to rub her thumb over her scars in the hopes that it would settle his thoughts.

“Remember when I told you my parents died when I was young and I had to take care of myself?” he started. Phoenix nodded, remembering their conversation in the studio. “That shit changed me. It was nothing that I could do. I was ready to give it to any and everybody. But I was smart about it. I went to the Navy. I trained. I worked hard. I was the best nigga they had. When it was time to get my boots on the ground, I made sure I always hit my target and anything that tried to get in my way. Each kill became a mark.”

Phoenix’s eyes trailed down in arm. There were so many scars. That meant so many bodies.

“I was top ranked. I was given the name Killmonger because I had so many kills.” he continued. “The scars were my way of making sure everybody knew how powerful I was. I wasn’t somebody to be fucked with. I’m not that helpless little boy anymore.”

Phoenix’s thumb motions stopped but she still held his arm in her hand. He looked over at her, searching her face for any sign of disgust or hate. Her eyes met his.

“So you still do those missions?” she asked.

“Yeah. They’re a little different now.”

Phoenix seemed interested in what he meant. So he continued telling her how he is chosen for the top missions because of his skill. She asked about his parents and for the first time ever, Erik explained the truth about them. His mother dying in prison. His father being a prince of Wakanda and being killed by his own brother. The more he talked about Wakanda, Phoenix became confused.

“Wait… I thought Wakanada was like a third world country.” she said.

“That’s what they tell the world, but it’s far from a third world country.”

Phoenix sat there quietly, looking off at nothing. She pulled herself away from him in thought. He took that as her hating him.

“I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you Phoenix.”

Her head snapped toward him. “It never crossed my mind that you would. I don’t think you’re a big, bad, scary person, E. Like you said, you did what you had to do.”

“Then why did you move over there?”

“Just thinking. I couldn’t imagine having to go through any of that. Here I am thinking my life was so shitty back in Detroit. Sure, it was bad but things could’ve been worse. You’re strong as fuck and honestly, I wish I had balls like you.”

A cheesy smile crept up on Erik’s face. “Nobody got balls like me.”

Phoenix looks at him with a straight face. “Wow. Here I am thinking we’re having a moment and you wanna talk about your balls.”

“You brought up my balls baby girl. I’ll gladly share them with you.”

“You know what I meant.” She said, hitting him in the chest.

“C’mere you little angry bird.” Erik pulls Phoenix back over to him. This time, he pulled her onto his lap. While sitting on him, she could feel his dick through his sweatpants. Was he free balling? It felt like all he was sporting were the shorts. This man was blessed. He moved his body up, adjusting himself. He had to know exactly what he was doing. Staying up there would be dangerous. She needed to move herself. So she slid her body down to where she is now pinned between him and the arm of the couch. Her legs are sitting on top of his. He gripped her thighs again. “You made me miss what happened so we have to start this episode over.” He picked up the remote, restarting the episode. Phoenix didn’t say anything. She couldn’t. The two of them continue watching Steven Universe like nothing ever happened. He wrapped his hand around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Phoenix had drifted off to sleep. Erik softly shook her awake.

“Philly. Wake up baby girl.”

Phoenix slowly wakes up, stretching. “How long was I sleep?”

“Not long. But it’s getting late. I’m gonna get out of here and let you rest.”

Phoenix lays back on his shoulder. “You’re really comfortable.”

Erik scoops Phoenix up in his arms. He picks her up as he stands and setting her down carefully on her feet. They share a smile. She follows him to the door to let him out. When they approach the door, Erik turns around and snakes his hand around Phoenix’s waist, pulling her into a hug. She automatically wrapped both of her arms around his neck. She took in his presence one last time. He pulled back and grabbed her chin. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. Her body melted into his as she laid her head against his chest. “Don’t forget to text me about your show tomorrow.” he spoke lowly in her ear. All Phoenix would do was nod her head. He opened the door, stepping out.

“Goodnight baby girl.”

“Night, E.”

Closing the door and locking it. Phoenix leaned back on the door. She wanted so bad to turn her head and catch his lips with hers. Her brain now ringing with the ‘what if’s’ if she did. She couldn’t do this to herself. She was going to bed.

Tags: @lushloaded @abeautifulmindexposed @purple-apricots @missshae @lostennyc @tip222u @janelledarling @chaneajoyyy @thadelightfulone **If anyone would like to be tagged, please let me know :)

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Homestretch....the final Cyberverse episodes... :’(

Season 3: Episodes 21 - 26

Episode 21

Ok so before we start, I gotta fess up and say I got spoiled for something because Twitter Sucks, so I know Tarn is in this series. Here are my predictions about that: 

Megatron said he rescued Astrotrain from a tyrant. I thought he meant an Alt!Universe version of him, but now that I know This Bastard is gonna be in it, I’m guessing it’s Tarn

If Megatron DID save Astrotrain from Tarn, it’d be hilarious if Tarn & co. weren’t actually planning to kill Astrotrain, they were just using him as transport, in which case Megatron essentially car-jacked (train-jacked?) them.

As much as I rag on Tarn and the DJD I actually do genuinely love the idea of an Autobot + Decepticon teamup against the DJD THAT WOULD BE SO FRICKIN COOL....

Anyways, on to the episode!

Pics taken 10 seconds before disaster, rip Cosmos.

MEDIA BOT and Cosmos! :D GOSH COSMOS REALLY IS CONFIRMED FOR BABY THAT”S ADORABLE.....I’m so glad he’s finally back in a cartoon

OH WHOOPS I FORGOT WINDBLADE WAS FRICKIN DEAD (ish)

LUNA 3???

The “FORBIDDEN” moon? 

Chromia: You can go there anyways! Bee: Huh?  Chromia: When have the rules ever stopped you before? Bee: Fair point

BRO WHY DO YOU HAVE A TOY OF SQUIDSCREAM

aw I love all those photos of him and cosmos, that’s cute

Oh no did he quit the business because he lost Cosmos???

METEOR-FIRE what a cool name

I like this dude a lot

I love that he’s obviously depressed about losing his partner but immediately gets convinced to go break into Luna 3 lmao

HE’S GOT CUTE CAMERAS WITH HIM I love that

LMAO I was gonna say “Wow you just flip the switches alright” THEN HE JUST RIPS THE CORDS OUT I love this guy

Hmm suspicious

Aw I love the space-shots of Cybertron, what a gorgeous planet....

Oh hello cannon-fodder #418

SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE!!!!!

IT”S THE GRUDGE LMAO

It’s probably a sim that shows you the scariest thing you can think of

BLURR!!! AW THAT’S SO SAD

Ok I take it back, it’s probably like MTMTE’s “Cyberutopia” thing where it reads your memory files

Watch the cameras Bee!!!

“Bee, I don’t mean to alarm you, but the alien presence has taken over my circuits” *HEAD DOES A 180* GOSH I LOVE THIS FRICKIN SHOW

The facial expressions in this show are SO FUN Bee’s so expressive I love that

I like that Meteor-Fire is so chill about this, this ain’t his first rodeo

He just snaps his neck back into place that’s so freaky and they play it off so well lol

PRETTY SPACE BALL???? PRETTY SPACE BALL!!! HEY HASBRO CAN YOU MAKE A TOY OF THIS I WANT IT!!!!!!

Gosh I’d legit buy a gem like this if it had constellations engraved on it THAT’S SO PRETTY I LOVE IT

It’s a good thing that Bee’s got Meteor-Fire with him, this is his field!!!

Oh lmao JUST KIDDING I GUESS

Well so much for the alien, rest in pieces

I think Saling already said this in their liveblog but I love that Bee’s collecting Windblade’s parts a-la-Megaman X2 style

COSMOS!!!!!! Yay I’m so glad they got him back!!!

Meteor-Fire: Look everybody, Cosmos is back!!! :D ME TOO BUD I’m so excited to see my space-baby

RODDY AND ARCEE!!!! I love that Percy took over for Maccadam, but that’s also so sad!!! ALSO WHY HAS HE NOT FIXED HIS EYES, RATCHET PLEASE HELP THIS POOR GUY

Episode 22  

OHH PRETTY PLANET

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The background designers on this show are great

Rodimus: That place has nothing but bad memories for me Every Drift fan simultaneously: Mood....

I really don’t think they’ll bring Drift back (unless he’s like, a zombie, which would still suck) so that’s a bummer

Rodimus: *Talking about his trauma* Me, very distracted: Wow Bee looks really cute here

SERIOUSLY THOUGH THEY NEED RUNG IN THIS SERIES They need a therapist in every Transformers series, all these bots need therapy (though tbf they tried to give Starscream therapy and that sure didn’t help, pft)

GRIMLOCK MAYBE DON’T--oh ok too late WELL THERE THEY GO

Repugnis?? I don’t remember who that is

A CITY?????? PRETTY

INSECTICON

lmao the frickin voice actor for that grey dude cracked me up

BEE MAYBE DON’T IMMEDIATELY TRUST THEM

Energon masters???? What

Interesting that they used “She” for Grimlock

Affluence?? 

Oh great these guys are the Cybertronian bourgeoisie 

Oh boy they’re just wasting energon huh

THE SHOCKS????

That’s a pretty bubble but JEEZ

OH NO WHY CAN”T HE TRANSFORM??

WAIT WHERE”S THE AUDIO oh wait no OP did mention there was an audio dropout

Is Grimlock gonna make friends with the bugs!!!

OH RIGHT the bug is Repugnis 

Aw the bugs are way nicer than the bourgeoisie, surprising absolutely no one

HELL YEAH, EAT THE RICH GRIMLOCK

“If we let you go, things will change! We like things the way they are” jeez

I wonder how the Shocks came about

It frickin figures

PRISON BREAK BEE!!!!

EAT HIM GRIMLOCK!!!

“Well this is quite astonishing” cute....

YEAH I WAS WONDERING IF THEY HAD THE SAME ALT MODE they looked like they had bug-bits, I didn’t realize that thing was keeping them from transforming though

Episode 23   

Oh right Megatron has a Matrix of Leadership I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

I ALSO FORGOT WHIRL WAS IN THIS SERIES, MY BABY.....

JETFIRE WATCH OUT YOU BIG NERD

“Rack ‘n Ruin and Ratchet” OH IS THIS GONNA BE A RATCHET EPISODE??? PLEASE?????? PLEASE SAY RATCHET EPISODE

Aw poor Rack n Ruin...

RATCHET BABY BOY!!! I forgot he was a New Yorker in this series lmao

“I LOVE Jetfire!”  “I know, me too!” CUTE....

I love that every continuity has Ratchet stuck with someone who annoys him in a ship

I love that Ratchet’s not even concerned

RATCHET’S DESIGN IN CYBERVERSE IS SO CUTE...

Wait UNSPACE???? Isn’t that where they sent a bunch of bad people????

Different Quantum Frequencies??? Dimensionally aligned??? MAN I LOVE THIS GOOFY SHOW

“It’s a blue-purple” CUTE....

UH OH HERE COMES ASTROTRAIN throwing dead-end??

I love that Astrotrain is so HUGE compared to everyone else, thank you Cyberverse for my life

“Every time..” LMAO GOSH THIS SHOW IS LITERALLY THE BEST someone please make a gif of that. I love that this implies that every time someone rides in Astrotrain they get ejected at 100 mph and skid 50 ft face-first, that’s such a delightful mental image. I think this 5 second scene is legitimately one of my favorite goofs / scenes in this show IT’S JUST THAT GOOD

You can tell I really enjoyed something when I make a meme of it

IT”S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!!!!!

OK IT’S LEGITIMATELY A LITTLE FRIGHTENING TO SEE HOW HUGE ASTROTRAIN IS WHEN IN ATTACK-MODE, HE SO EASILY PICKED THEM UP but that’s why it’s cool for him to be SO much bigger than they are, I LOVE BIG CYBERTRONIANS

LMAO I LOVE ASTROTRAIN he’s such a turd to DeadEnd

“Time to pay Ratchet a house-call. ‘Cuz he’s a doctor!” I almost snorted my drink up my nose, I LOVE THE DORKY HUMOR IN THIS SHOW

I swear this series was made with me in mind

TWO HEADS, NO BRAINCELLS

You wonder if Shadow Striker and Soundwave ever just rock-paper-scissor to see who has to deal with the latest Autobot bs that day

“And we don’t” OH SHOOT THEY’RE BEING LEFT OUT OF THE DECEPTICON’S PLANS TOO...This is more dire than I thought

Man I really do love Shadow Striker and Soundwave, they’re the only competent Decepticons

OH NO NOT RATCHET!!! NO!!!!!

Ohh so Astrotrain is still a triple changer in this series!! :O

WOW A SHOT TO THE HEAD REALLY DIDN”T DO ANYTHING HUH

REST IN PIECES DEADEND lmao he and Percy both have good survival stats it seems

NICE MOVES GRANDPA glad your hips still work lol

Oh good I’m glad they actually kept the purple thing

RIP Rack n Ruin

DEADEND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS

YEAHHHHH SHADOW STRIKER AND SOUNDWAVE!!!!!

“You’ve been told this area is off-limits” Oh shoot so Megatron really doesn’t trust them with this huh??? Must be some serious stuff they saw while universe-hopping

“Make us” SOUNDWAVE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY SASSY BOY

Love that he’s pissing off this dude who’s literally 4 times his height, love my son

Shadow Striker & Soundwave are Goth / Jock solidarity

Ratchet: Yeah yeah yeah I know Cuteeee

Wow they’re really not gonna help Shadow Striker and Soundwave????

THEY’RE LITERALLY JUST DOLL-SIZE IN HIS HANDS which is probably a not great reminder for Soundwave after that Dr. Tentacle Dude incident

Astrotrain: *bops their faces together* heehee Soundwave: BI Shadow Striker: >8(

JEEZ, BYE ASTROTRAIN

THE STYLE IS SO JARRING I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE UNSPACE AND HOW IT LOOKS (especially when contrasted with the regular drawing-style of the show. Really great artistic choice!)

Oh shoot so Astrotrain can just leave whenever huh

Aw what cute high fives, man this show has such good vibes

Episode 24  

NOOOO ONLY THREE EPISODES LEFT.....

:(((((

WINDLBADE!!!! I hope she’ll be ok

DID it work?? Wait you guys still have two frickin shards left, YOU”RE SO BAD AT THIS

A SHARK????? WTF

HE JUST PICKED HER UP AND DIPPED WTF WHO IS THAT

It’s not Skybyte obviously but he’s a shark too so WHO IS THAT

OHH IS THAT THE HALL OF RECORDS???? 

Wait wtf the Decepticons are attacking?? Oh wait RACK N RUIN DID YOU REALLY TELL THEM THAT

OH NO HE FROZE

WHOA  WHAT”S HAPPENING

WHAT OPTIMUS NO

WHAT”S HAPPENING!!!!! WTF

I WAS GONNA MAKE A BSOD JOKE BUT I TAKE IT ALL BACK OPTIMUS PLEASE BE OK YOU CAN’T DIE IN THIS SERIES

Is this referencing the other time when he glitched oh no....I knew that’d come back to bite us

In other news, I love that we’re learning more about the life and (cyber)biology of Cybertron, I’m so glad we got to have pretty much almost the entire series set on Cybertron

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THAT!!! THAT’S SO COOL!!! This is the stuff I want to see in Transformers shows!!!

Hasbro could literally make a nature documentary set on Cybertron and I’d be ecstatic. Gimme more details about their world and architecture and city stuff

“Fellow Primes, why have I been summoned?” Oh shoot so the other past primes can just jack OP’s consciousness whenever??? That frickin sucks. I do love the Atlantis vibes I’m ge HOLY FRICK IS THAT MAC

AHHHHHHHH MACCADAM!!!!!!!!!!! GRANDPA!!!!!!! PLEASE GIVE OPTIMUS DAD ADVICE!!!!!! IM SO GLAD WE GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN

Chromia: Bee are you crazy?? Bee: YES! *jumps off the ship*

I love that this weird storm cloud area is basically like an ocean, that’s so cool

OH NO BEE!!!!!!!

Jeez that startled me, the shark sounds just like Bee

“Well you’re doing a scrap job” lmao Chromia please

Oh it’s the Argon Sea, it IS an ocean pft

“An ancient evil” hooo boy

BEE he’s so cute. Wait don’t just jump down a random hole AT LEAST WAIT FOR CHROMIA

CREEPY TENTACLE STUFF AGAIN, JEEZ CYBERVERSE

KICK HIS BUTT CHROMIA

Aw man, not you too Bee

MISTRESS OF FLAME!!!! I get so excited about every IDW reference haha, I love Caminus and I love that they’re letting that still exist

JEEZ THAT”S NOT CREEPY AT ALL

Is this a Titan???? IT IS A TITAN

It’s like a Cthulu titan huh

Chromia: That is THE creepiest thing I’ve ever heard THANK YOU CHROMIA, SAME THOUGHT

Chromia’s just like “This doesn’t even come close to my Top 10 list of BS I’ve had to deal with lately”

More weird smoke, oh great

JEEZ THAT’S A FREAKY TITAN

Me, crying softly: GAY RIGHTS....(and Bee). MAN THE FRIENSHIPS IN THIS SHOW ARE SO GREAT :’)

ALCHEMIST PRIME!!!!!!!!! I FRICKIN KNEW YOU WERE A PRIME

“But this is not about me” I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THOUGH

Wait why is a part of Windblade in Megatron’s Matrix

WHY WOULD THEY ALSO BE IN THE OTHER MATRIX oh they mean alt-universe them

It’s frickin HYSTERICAL that every time Optimus has some ~deep spiritual~ conversation with the past Primes he’s just standing there frozen while the Autobots wait for him to unfreeze like he’s some kind of ancient computer doing updates. Like, that’s legitimately one of the funniest pieces of information canon’s given us so far, thank you for my life Cyberverse writers.

I wonder if Arcee and the other bots ever take selfies with him while he’s frozen like that THERE’S SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR COMEDY HERE

Optimus: *is frozen for a couple hours while talking to old Primes* Autobots: *put on PJs and unroll their sleeping bags so they can have a slumber party while waiting for him*

Heck now I’m just imagining them playing truth or dare or some similar game while waiting for Optimus to wake up. 

I’m sure at some point during their voyage on the Ark, Optimus froze and they all played the “who can do this silly / embarrassing thing in front of Optimus and get away with it before he wakes up” game. Like, Rodimus somersaults down the hall while spouting fire in front of Optimus, Bee does a handstand while singing the alphabet backwards, etc, and whoever’s in front of Optimus when he “wakes up” loses. (It’d be even funnier if Optimus kept pretending to be frozen while they played until someone did something REALLY embarrassing and he unfroze to freak them out. Then again, the Matrix going back into his chest would probably be too much of a giveaway huh)

OH NO I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN THE EUPHORIA OF THIS IDEA I FORGOT THERE’S ONLY TOO EPISODES LEFT NOW....

Episode 25

I love Astrotrain’s design (both in bot-mode and his alt mode) because he just looks like a grumpy evil train and that makes me so happy.

Also RAIN!!! I love rain and this looks so pretty

LMAO ASTROTRAIN YOU’RE SUCH A TURD I had no opinion of him before this show but now I frickin love him

HE PULLED THE CHAIR OUT FROM UNDER HIM

“I HAVE HIS MATRIX” OH NO DID HE STEAL THIS FROM SHATTERED GLASS’ OPTIMUS OH FRICK

Megatron running like that while holding the Matrix in his hands reminds me so vividly of a younger sibling stealing their older sibling’s diary and fleeing at top-speed from said older sibling and that’s hilarious to me. Megatron is so petty

Dang, so that’s how his eye got messed up. Ngl it’s a good look

CYBER COWS!!!!

Wow that wall is so WEAK the Decepticons are so dumb lmao

Oh yeah they have a new furry on their team

Rodimus: Math isn’t my strong-suit.

Arcee: Especially me!  Arcee you are ADORABLE

OH SHOOT MEGATRON CAN TALK TO THE PAST PRIMES TOO...DANG

WINDBLADE!!! MAKE WINDBLADE A PRIME YOU COWARDS

Ok I know I said “Shattered-Glass Optimus” earlier but based on that spoiler some moron on Twitter posted, IT’S PROBABLY TARN...man I wish I hadn’t seen that spoiler but despite that IM STILL EXCITED

Makes you wonder how TARN got the Matrix though (not that I can’t guess 8( )

Oh my gosh I just realized we have the potential to see Windblade kick Tarn’s butt in this series. Cyberverse PLEASE, I’D LOVE TO SEE THAT

Ah so Astrotrain is the new scientist

Ur bugs are probably dead dude

LASERBEAK!!!!

RAVAGE??? Oh no that’s the furry dude MAN I GET SO EXCITED EVERY TIME, I KEEP FORGETTING

As much as I Die for loyal Soundwave, it’s really cool seeing him being his own character and acting on his own in this series and trusting his own judgement / surveillance! It’s so good. Soundwave you’re so smart (and I love that he loves Laserbeak :’) )

*SOBBING* CASE IN POINT...HE PET THE BABY..

OHOHO IT”S *THE* INSECTICONS

Oh shoot the Insecticons are deserting 

“No one can stop him. Not even you” dang son

“He doesn’t want us. He wants you” OH BOY

MY BABY WHIRL!!!! THAT’S MY BOY

SEEKERS!!! I forgot we still had a few who Starscream didn’t frickin kill

NICE JUMP-ATTACK OPTIMUS I love that he cuts the dude’s weapon in half meanwhile Grimlock just frickin eats the guy lmao. So much for Optimus’ mercy

FRICK FRICK FRICK IT IS TARN

OK TARN OBJECTIVELY SUCKS BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ACTUALLY DO LOVE HIM BECAUSE HOLY FRICK IS HE A DANGEROUS CHARACTER AND THERE’S SO MUCH TO PLAY WITH THERE, I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM AND HOW THEY USE HIM FOR THE STORY AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dead End: Yeah, I see your point Lmao I love this guy

Everyone’s gonna frickin die in this series

OH NO WHIRL oh wait yeah he and Dead End know each other, Whirl’s fine

SOUNDWAVE CAN YOU AND SHADOW STRIKER CHILL FOR 2 SECONDS

I love Skybyte’s voice

WOW MEGATRON, YOU”RE ONLY PROTECTING HALF THE PLANET, JEEZ

OH SHOOT

OH SHOOT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh so that’s why they had a wall, Megatron you turd

WHIRL NO!!!!!!! oh he’s fine thank goodness

Did Megatron get taller??? He looks taller than Optimus now

Just use Optimus’ matrix you big baby

“It’s time I called in that debt you owe me. Now it’s time for you to save me” I LEGITIMATELY SHRIEKED OUT LOUD, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

THERE HE IS, THERE HE IS THERE HE IS!!!!!!!

SCREW PAST ME’S OPINION, TARN IS FRICKIN COOL AS HELL

OH SHOOT THERE’S A TON OF HIM WTF

WHERE’S THAT FRICKIN “THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS, THERE!!! IT!!! IS!!!” MEME BECAUSE THAT’S BEEN ME THIS ENTIRE EPISODE HOLY HECK

Episode 26

MORE PRIME NAMES!!! A) that’s very pretty B) LEGIT THOUGH IF WINDBLADE’S THE ONE WHO KICKS TARN’S BUTT I’LL GO APE

OH FRICK IF OPTIMUS IS THERE THEN TARN REALLY DID KILL HIM or it means he beefed it in that universe, as he usually does

“I wish I’d gotten to know you better” 8((((((

What happened to Alt!Universe Optimus!!!!!!! How did you die!!!

Windblade: Optimus, you’re speaking in riddles... Optimus: I always do, it comes with the job of Prime. Windblade: Oh right

“A perfect Decepticon race” HOO BOYZY.....

“All because I spared your life” MAN THAT HURTS

At least they aren’t attacking them right now?

HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY RESOLVE THIS SERIES IN 10 MINUTES

ASTROTRAIN YOU COWARD not that I blame him, every bot for themself I guess

OH NO THE HURT PUPPY WHINE MAKES ME SO SAD

HELL YEAH SOUNDWAVE SAVE MY BABY BEE

I TAKE IT BACK TARN IS CANCELED, HE HIT SOUNDWAVE

*AND* HE GRABBED CHROMIA, YOU”RE CANCELED, ALL THESE CLONES ARE CANCELED

SOUNDWAVE IS THE ONLY VALID DECEPTICON

Optimus: Can’t keep-- Megatron: WE MUST! Me: *SOBS*

OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON BACK-TO-BACK FIGHTING AHHHHHHHHHH, IT”S THE LITTLE-THINGS

Definitely not the right time for this joke but: AU where instead of saying “Powers of Cybertron, unite!” they say “GAY RIGHTS” to activate their Matrix powers

Frick what if they kill MEGATRON in this series

HECK YEAH EVERYONE’S GETTING AN UPGRADE

Megatron: We must join our Matrixes together! Optimus: Now REALLY isn’t the best time for a marriage proposal Megatron: What Optimus: What

Thank you for telling Optimus to get down for once instead of just blasting him AND the Tarn-copies, Megatron

OH FRICK IT IS ALT-UNIVERSE MEGATRON NOT TARN WHO’S THE BIG BAD

I LEGIT STOPPED BREATHING DURING THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE AHHHH

THIS IS INFINITELY BETTER (AND WORSE) THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THAT MEANS ALT!UNIVERSE MEGATRON DID KILL OPTIMUS...MEANWHILE OUR UNIVERSE’S MEGATRON SPARED OPTIMUS...MAN THAT HURTS ME SO BAD

MEGATRON NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OPTIMUS SAVE HIM SAVE HIM PLEASE SOMEHOW SAVE HIM!!!!!

OPTIMUS LITERALLY FRICKIN RAN ACROSS THE ROOM TO CATCH HIM, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS DRAMA

NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN”T DO THIS TO ME CYBERVERSE

“Prime...one shall stand...one shall....” THIS IS THE SADDEST FRICKIN THING THAT”S HAPPENED IM LEGIT GONNA CRY, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Hold on...my friend...” IM GONNA BAWL MY EYES OUT OPTIMUS

I legit had to take a moment to get up and do a lap around my room while processing what happened LIKE OK I KNOW THEY PROBABLY (???) WON’T PERMA-KILL MEGATRON BUT FRICK DUDE THAT WAS SO EMOTIONAL

MEGAOP RIGHTS....BUT AT WHAT COST

What’s fricking me up rn (granted, several things are fricking me up right now) is that this universe’s Megatron knew he could’ve achieved his goals if he’d just killed Optimus. He said so himself; he could’ve had it all but he failed “all because I spared your [Optimus’] life”. Whatever he saw in that other universe convinced him that killing Optimus just wasn’t worth it (or perhaps, deep deep DEEP down, he really doesn’t want to kill his old friend).

I’m rewatching that last minute and this feels like a frickin fanfiction. I’m Living but also Dying

I KNOW THIS IS A VERY TENSE SCENE BUT MEGATRON’S “I won’t pay for anything!” MADE ME LAUGH

SOUNDWAVE STANDING BETWEEN SHADOW-STRIKER AND MEGATRON!!!!!!!!! STANDING UP TO MEGATRON!!!! SOBS I LOVE SOUNDWAVE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO PLEASE BE CAREFUL MY SWEET BOY!!!!! IF YOU GET HURT ILL NEVER BE OVER IT

Two reasons he could’ve done that: to keep Shadow Striker from getting super pissed off and lashing out at this enemy who’s way above their level, or because the “jacked up Frankenstein experiment” thing is a sore subject for her and Soundwave recognizes that (and frankly I’m leaning toward option B because SOBS....I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP)

GOTH FRIENDS!!!

OH OK THANK GOODNESS, MEGATRON ISN’T DEAD DEAD YET

Dang so Megatron did kill Optimus

OH NO WE’RE GETTING A FLASHBACK

FRICK THAT”S SO GRUESOME, HE JUST RIPPED OPTIMUS’ CHEST OPEN

YOU ALREADY KNOW THE MOST PERFECT DECEPTICON, HIS NAME IS SOUNDWAVE!!! YOU JUST DON’T APPRECIATE HIM YOU BIG BULLY

Oh shoot so the Quints came to that world too

DANG HE JUST WRECKED THEIR SHIP HUH....

I’m loving this throwback to the IDW design

WOW Y’ALL JUST IMMEDIATELY WENT “SURE WE’RE ONBOARD” (I mean, good way to stay alive but C’MON GUYS....)

“I have no need for any of you” WHOOPS SO MUCH FOR THAT should’ve seen that coming

THIS SUCKS SO BAD

NONONONO!!!! MEGATRON!!!!

HECK NOW HE HAS THE MATRIX

wow you guys really just let Megatron fall to the floor COME ON OPTIMUS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SMOOTH MOVES

NICE ONE BEE!!!!!!

YEAH WERE ARE ARCEE AND HOT ROD

FRICK YEAH WHIRL, MESS HIM UP!!!!!!!!!

YEAH SHADOW STRIKER!!!!!!

RATCHET PUNCHING TARN HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

FRICK HE CAN JUST MATERIALIZE LIKE THAT TOO

WELL THAT DIDN’T LAST LONG

BEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“And now you will pay the price...for being a hero” DANG THAT”S A COOL LINE BUT DON’T HURT MY BOY

FRICK HIM UP OPTIMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WINDBLADE NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO SAVE EVERYONE

YEAHHHH WINDBLADE!!!!!!!

Yeah don’t turn your back on the body please

YO Astrotrain came back

ASTROTRAIN THAT SOUNDS SO CREEPY AND ALSO THAT’S SUCH A BAD IDEA, JUST KILL HIM

I know this is a kid’s show but PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO MAKE SURE HE WON’T POP BACK UP IN A FEW YEARS WITH ANOTHER ARMY

IM GLAD WINDBLADE IS BACK AND IM LOVING THE HUG BUT DID MEGATRON LEGIT FRICKIN DIE????

WHAT!!! WHAT THAT CAN’T BE IT!?!?!? HOW COULD YOU END IT LIKE THAT NO!!!!!!! THAT WAS SO ABRUPT nO!!!!!!!!!! 

The last few episodes were such an adrenaline rush I CAN”T BELIEVE WE CAME DOWN FROM THAT HIGH SO QUICKLY....IS MEGATRON ALIVE??? KICKSTARTER TO FUND ONE MORE EPISODE???? SPARE ANOTHER EPISODE FOR A POOR FAN???

MAN I wish we could’ve stayed in the universe of this show for a little longer but dang!!! That was really really good!!! I’m so grateful we got to have such a wonderful series like Cyberverse! :’) Thank you to everyone who worked on this incredible show!!!

Man now I gotta wait for WfC for new Transformers content....at least I can look through the tag w/out getting spoiled now

A few more thoughts now that I’ve re-read my liveblog:

If Megatron could hop into the Matrix of Leadership he possessed, I wonder if he ever had a chance to talk to that universe’s Optimus Prime... :( based on what he said, probably not, but that makes me so sad!!!! Did they ever get the chance to work things out!!! IS MEGATRON ALIVE OR NOT.....

[johnnysnostril]

Without You

chapter twelve

jaehyun’s pov

alonna and i sat on the couch, as johnny walked through the front door.

he looked defeated and broken.

it was weird for me because i had never seen johnny act like this, over a female before.

alonna stood to her feet, clicking her heels across the tile and grabbed her purse and keys.

“well, im sober now and i’d rather not stay here and watch johnny feel sorry for himself.” she said.

i huffed, shaking my head.

“stop it, babe.” i said approaching her and smacking her booty.

she pouted and turned towards me, swinging her purse over her shoulder.

“but, he could've hurt ivy- jae..” she mumbled as johnny walked past us and up the stairs.

“i know..” i said rubbing her shoulders. “but, just give him a little break. mark just walked out the door with his girl.” i chuckled a little.

alonna shrugged.

“she would've been johnny’s girl if he wasn’t such a douche bag.” she mumbled.

“well, regardless if that’s true or not- it’s none of our business. we just need to focus on us.” i whispered, kissing her lips.

i gently pulled her bag off her shoulder and held it for her.

“you’re not going home though- you’re coming with me.”

taking her hand, i lead her over to the front door.

“we’re leaving johnny! text me if you need anything!” i shouted before walking out the door.

ivy’s pov

instead of falling asleep, like we were supposed to- mark and i talked all morning.

i was relieved when mr. suh text me- telling me to take the day off and that he would run the store today.

i had no objections to that.

“so- you and johnny..” mark started. “you really like him?

i played with his hair as he laid on my stomach.

i wasn’t sure what i was feeling anymore.

all i knew, was that- maybe i was moving a little too fast with everyone. including mark.

i shrugged, answering his question internally.

mark suddenly sat up, looking down at me.

“ivy-” he chuckled. “did i make you uncomfortable with that question?”

i swallowed down the lump in my throat.

“i just dont know what i feel anymore..” i admitted.

mark nodded and traced a smiley face on my exposed thigh.

“and that’s okay. as long as i’m still in the running.” he laughed.

i bit my bottom lip and sat up.

“why do you like me?” i asked, tilting my head.

mark tucked some hair behind my ear then kissed my forehead.

“your vibe is very different from any other girl that i’ve met before. and trust me- we’ve all been around plenty of women.” he stated. “you and alonna just have a special aura about you.” 

mark took my hand and laced our fingers.

“i know i dont know much about you, and it’s only been a few days. but i feel like this is right. and if i’m wrong for that- then so be it.”

i looked down, staring at my bed sheets- keeping quiet.

“i dont wanna scare you off either.” he admitted. “it’s just- i haven’t liked someone like this in awhile and to be frank, i’m scared that this feeling will go away. and i dont want it to.”

mark laid back, pulling me with him. he draped my leg over his waist and rubbed my back.

why was i feeling guilty?

“we dont really get the opportunity to even attempt to have a relationship. so when the guys and i found someone special, we wanna hold onto them as long as we can.”

mark continued.

“i dont know about anyone else, but i wanna fall in love. i have yet to experience it.”

i looked up at him, slightly sitting up.

“you’ve never been in love before?” i asked surprised.

he shook his head.

“not yet-”

johnny’s pov

i decided to stay at my parents’ house, since jae and alonna would be back at the hotel room.

i still couldn't believe that she had slapped me. ever since alonna started working with us, she never struck me as being any kind of violent.

i guess i couldn’t blame her though. i was really acting out of my element. but, i did have a valid reason for it.

mark was always trying to overshadow me, with everyone- and i was getting sick of it.

granted, i shouldn't have put my hands on him.

all that really mattered to me at this point, was how i was going to get ivy back in my arms and out of mark’s.

part of me wanted to go down to the hotel and see if she was there.

but what would i do once i found her?

i didn't have a plan at all.

maybe i should just give her space.

looking over at the clock, i sighed.

8:42am. 

i suddenly jumped up from my bed.

“maybe she’s at the shop!” i shouted.

i quickly slipped into a pair of shoes that laid on the floor, collecting my keys and running out the front door.

as i pulled up to the shop, i quickly parked and ran inside.

“iv-” i started to yell, then stopped- seeing my dad at the register.

“dad?” i questioned as i let the door shut behind me.

“hey son.” he smiled, fixing a bouquet of flowers.

“what are you doing here?”

i was halfway disappointed that ivy wasn’t here.

“where’s ivy?” i questioned.

my father smiled, looking back down at his flowers- ignoring my question.

“how was the party? everyone seemed to have a good time.”

“did she quit?” i pressed the issue, joining him behind the counter.

“you know, the funniest thing happened to me this morning.” he announced randomly.

“dad- where-”

“i ran into an old friend.” he smiled, patting my shoulder. “a friend from college.” he continued.

“when he first walked through that door and i seen his face- for some reason, my mind told me to be upset with him.” 

my father laughed.

“but i couldn’t remember why.”

i sighed and took a seat on the small stool that was behind me.

“he started to tell me that his wife had recently passed and he needs some flowers for the funeral- then it hit me.” my father snapped his fingers.

“right then and there, i remembered his name and what had happened between us.”

suddenly my father got quiet. he continued to make his bouquet of flowers without saying a word.

“so what happened?” i asked. “how come you stopped being his friend?”

my dad put the finishing touches on his master piece, then smiled. pulling out some decorative paper, he wrapped the flowers up and gently placed them on the counter in front of me.

“to keep it simple-” he said folding his arms. “in front of all of our mutual friends- he asked out a woman that i was very fond of. just about everyone knew that i was attracted to her- even he knew. but he still did it.” 

my father smiled.

i furrowed my brows and shook my head.

“and you’re smiling why?”

“because that woman, was your mother.” my father patted my shoulder once again and walked over to the section of tulips that hung from the wall. 

“wait- mom was stolen from you?” i asked following him.

he nodded.

“she was. but, i got her back.” he chuckled.

“how’d you do that?”

my mind was racing, ready to take a mental note so i could use this trick on ivy.

“that’s not the point of the story, son.”

fixing the flowers, he turned his head in my direction.

“but you know, i was holding onto that anger- and i didn’t even know it until i seen his face. hell, i couldnt even remember why i had been mad at him for all this time.”

now, i seen where this was going.

“there’s still a way for you to get her back, son.”

i snapped my head in his direction, parting my lips.

“how did you know?”

“im a suh. i know everything.” he laughed.

my father made his way back to the counter- grabbing the bouquet and handing it to me.

“go make things right, son.”

mark’s pov

i smiled as ivy yawned. 

“are you sleepy?” i said rubbing her thigh.

she nodded.

“well, get some rest then- babygirl.” slowly sitting up, i removed myself from the bed.

“are you leaving?” she mumbled.

“if i dont, you wont sleep at all.” i exhaled softly as she reached out and took my hand.

“do you have anything planned for later tonight?” she asked, looking up at me.

i leaned down, softly kissing her and smiling against her lips.

“hopefully seeing you.”

as i pulled back, ivy hid her face into the sheets, rolling over onto her stomach.

i chuckled, quickly slipping on my shoes.

“sleep, okay?”

i reached over to her night stand, grabbing her notebook and writing my number down.

“call me, when you wake up?” handing her the notebook, she nodded and smiled.

“okay.. i’ll be waiting.”

scanning her body with my eyes, i took in her features for the last time for a couple of hours.

alonna’s pov

“i win again!” i said standing up on the couch and shaking my butt.

jaehyun rolled his eyes and laughed, tossing the controller to the side.

“i let you win, chill.”

jae stood to his feet, taking hold of my hand and pulling me off the couch.

“you’re just a sore loser, babe. you can never beat me.” i stuck out my tongue and tilted my head.

“put that tongue back in your mouth, before i put it to use.”

i quickly rolled my tongue back in, covering my lips.

jae cupped my chin, brushing his nose against mine.

“one thing i can beat though, is that pus-”

“ivy!” johnny said running into the room.

jae and i both looked towards the door, rolling our eyes.

“you have the worst timing, dude.” jae laughed, throwing his head back.

“have you guys seen ivy?”

“she’s not here.” i said folding my arms. “you don’t need to be looking for her anyway. i told you to stay away from her, stupid.”

grabbing the blanket that laid on the couch, i wrapped myself up to hide my body.

as i plopped down on the cushion, my phone began to ring.

sister <3

it was ivy.

i reached to the other side of the cushion, where my phone laid- grabbing it quickly and running up the stairs.

locking myself in the bathroom, i threw the blanket on the floor- answering ivy’s call.

“ivy!” i whispered into the phone.

she laughed.

“why are you whispering, alonna?” she whispered back playfully.

“johnny is here! he’s looking for you! are you still at the house??? where are you?? you’re not with mark are you?” i questioned.

“okay, wait a minute. too many questions.” ivy continued to laugh.

“where the hell are you?”

“i’m at home- i was calling to see if you wanted to meet me for brunch. or are you already, you know- “busy”?”

i knew she was doing air quotes.

“yes, i can meet you. but johnny doesn’t know where we live- right?”

ivy was quiet.

“ivy!”

“i mean, i dont know. unless you told him, cause i fersure didnt.”

i sighed of relief.

“what time are we meeting?”

ivy was smiling.

“wait- why do you sound happy? what’s wrong with you? are you sick?” i asked.

“just meet me at 12pm. Laura’s! i love you, byeeeee.” she sang into the phone.

i rolled my eyes as the called ended.

walking back downstairs, johnny slouched in the chair- in the kitchen area.

“what’s wrong with you?” i said tossing my phone on the couch.

“i gotta talk to ivy. can you please give me her number?” he said running his fingers through his hair.

i really felt sorry for him at this point. but my sister was way more important than his feelings.

“aren’t you supposed to be at practice?” i said folding my arms.

“isn’t jae?” he fired back, giving up from the chair. 

johnny snatched a bouquet of flowers off the counter and headed towards the door.

“how’d you know that ivy likes pink roses?”

i lifted a brow and looked over at jae.

“i didn’t say anything. i didn’t even know that she liked roses.” he laughed.

johnny looked down at the flowers, keeping his mouth shut- then left the hotel room.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

On their first official date, Tony has a cold and ends up taking the wrong kind of cold medicine which makes him loopy but Steve kinda crashes the date trying to tell Tony he loves him before he ends up losing him to Bucky. Even doused Tony kindly but funnily rejects him but offers to buy him dinner. Bucky gives him a friendly threat saying he loves Steve, he's his bff and brother so they'll be cool but that he can't ever go after Tony.

Doped Up Date

Bucky’s heart pounded in his chest as if he were battling a levithan—not on a date with Tony Stark.

Honestly, fighting a levithan would be easier; he’d just need to grab his largest gun and shoot at the damn thing until it was dead.

How did one combat the humor and charm of Tony Stark—resist the beautiful, brown bambi eyes?

How could he win and not wave his white flag in defeat when the  red, stuffy nose on Tony’s face endeared Bucky to him?

Tony chuckled. He rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re amazing.”

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand. He pulled Tony close to his side. The chill off the evening seeped into his coat. If he could feel the cold then Tony could as well; he needed to keep Tony warm. It was bad enough that he had taken Tony outside when he was sick. Tony should be resting somewhere with a heater. Bucky hadn’t been able help himself when Tony had asked him out though.

He had been pouring himself a glass of milk when Tony had stumbled into the kitchen with a loopy grin on his face.

“There’s my gorgeous man.” Tony had clumsily sashayed up to Bucky. “Let’s go on a date.”

Bucky forced himself to swallow instead of spitting out the milk like it had gone sour. “Are you high?”

Tony had waved off Bucky’s question. “I took some cold medicine. Nothing strong. Date me.”

Like the weak person that he was, Bucky caved. He’d wanted to date Tony for so long, but had been too afraid to make a move due to their history. He couldn’t give up his chance at a date with Tony just because the circumstances weren’t perfect.

He also trusted that, despite a few out of character moments, Tony was telling him the truth when he said he was not high off his gourd.

(More after the break!)

“Bucky, you’re ignoring me.” Tony nuzzled Bucky’s shoulder as he whined.

“Sorry. I’m just really happy.”

Tony hummed. “That’s good.”

A violent sneeze bowed Tony’s body.

Bucky patted Tony on the back. “We should get you home.”

Tony rubbed his nose with the back of his wrist. “But we only had dinner. What kind of a date is only dinner?”

“A filling one.” Bucky slung his arm around Tony’s neck. “We’re walking under the stars.”

“On a dirty, busy sidewalk in New York.” Tony pressed closer to Bucky to avoid the two kids and their guardian rushing past.

“We could call Happy to pick us up.”

“Are you trying to kill the romance?”

“We could make out in backseat of the car.”

Tony scrunched his face. There was just something so childish and silly about the pout Tony directed at Bucky; it caused fondness and humor to course through Bucky. He kissed Tony’s temple. “A movie. You, me, and a comfy couch at home. We’ll dim the lights, grab a couple of blankets, and keep each other warm. How is that for romance?”

“Sounds better than it should be,” Tony grumbled. “It’s our first date; it should be more romantic. Flowers, sweeping music, and all that Hallmark stuff. Fireworks.”

“Watching fireworks or kissing being like fireworks?”

“Both.” Tony closed his eyes as he lolled his head back.

Bucky chuckled as he planted another kiss on Tony’s head. “Yeah, sounds like it is time to take you home.”

“I could buy fireworks, you know. I have bought fireworks.”

Bucky nodded his head and mumbled agreements. He had no doubt that Tony had purchased fireworks before.

With a gentle arm wrapped around Tony’s shoulders—or a hand tucked into Tony’s back pocket when Tony took to gesticulating—Bucky guided his sickly love home. Cuddled together, they entered the common area of the Avengers compound and took over the living room. Tony sprawled across one of the sofas and picked out the movie, as Bucky hunted down soft, fleece blankets to cocoon them in. He also fetched Tony’s medicine, much to Tony’s chagrin.

“I’m fine.” Snot dribbled out from Tony’s nose. He grimaced.

Bucky shook his head. He pulled a travel packet of tissues from his pocket then passed a tissue to Tony. “I’m sure. It’s for later when you don’t feel fine.”

Tony took the tissue. He blew his nose. “Hand sanitizer.”

“I’ll grab some while I get the popcorn.”

“My sweet prince, I would kiss you like a porn star if I weren’t carrying the plague.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Bucky grinned as he went to the kitchen. In a flash, he had a bag of popcorn popping in the microwave and was on the move to fetch a bottle of hand sanitizer for Tony as promised. Just as quick as he was to get the popcorn started, he scurried to the bathroom where, after riffling through a couple of drawers, he found the hand sanitizer.

There was a bounce to his step as Bucky returned to the living room. The soft hum of the microwave coming from the kitchen told him the popcorn was still cooking, even as the salty and buttery aroma of the light as air treat teased his senses.

A square, blond head attached to a pair of broad shoulders peeked out from behind the couch. A corded arm pillowed Tony’s head. Laughter lit up Tony’s face as he looked at Steve: the encroacher.

Insecurity opened its maw and threatened to swallow Bucky whole.

Vague memories of a time when he used to be the dashing charmer who had all the girls fawning over him flooded back to him. Bitterness assaulted his tongue as shame coiled through his being; his jealousy was so strong that he was embarrassed.

He was happy that Steve knew how to flirt and charm.

He just wasn’t happy that the person who Steve was interested in was Tony.

Be a good friend, Bucky. Be a good friend. Tony asked you out. He likes you. Don’t go caveman.

Steve cocked his head then looked Bucky’s way. “Bucky, there you are. Tony was just telling me that you two are about to have a movie night. Hope you don’t mind a third wheel.”

“And here I thought you were tired of being a third wheel.” Bucky spoke with a smile that belied his backhanded words.

“Not when I am with two of my favorite people.”

Tony snorted tersely.

Steve gave Tony a look that communicated that he had heard Tony, knew exactly what Tony was saying without uttering a word, and that despite his disapproval, he was amused by Tony’s antics.

The microwave beeped its completion.

Bucky ignored it. “You’re giving me cavities, Steve. Tony and I planned for this movie night to be just the two of us. So…” Bucky swung his arms toward the exit.

A befuddled frown crossed Steve’s features. He looked to Tony for understanding.

Tony wrapped the blankets tighter around himself. “No need to fight over me boys.” He sniffled. “I know-” Tony blinked. “…and my head is spinning. Hello, vertigo, my old friend. Oh! Friday, movie change. Get ready to play Vertigo.”

Bucky marched over to Tony. He tucked the bottle of hand sanitizer into the space where sofa cushion met armrest. Bucky splayed his flesh hand across Tony’s forehead. “You’re not burning up.”

Tony nuzzled Bucky’s hand. “It’s just the mucus forming crystals in my head.”

“Are you sure?” Steve leaned into Tony’s space.  His brows knitted together. “Maybe we should cancel movie night tonight. You need your rest, Tony. I’ll take you out to the movies some other night. What do you say? We can make it a date.”

A part of Bucky applauded Steve for his new and improved pick up skills. Another part of Bucky screamed in horror. With just a few sentences, Steve had brought an end to Bucky’s date while simultaneously asking Tony out.

Steve was devastating him.

Tony huffed. He put his hand on Steve’s cheek and pushed him away. “I know thanks to that serum you are immune to the common cold but please stay out of my face.”

Steve frowned but kept his distance. “I’m worried about you, Tony.”

“Bah.” Tony tossed a corner of the blanket over his head. The fleece covered half his face. “Everyone is such a worrywart!” Tony twisted. He flung his arms open at Bucky. “Come to me, beautiful. Sick people need warmth.”

“Yeah, you were right about not needing more medicine.” Bucky went around the couch. He plopped himself on the other side of Tony. Tony embraced Bucky like he was Tony’s long lost teddy bear. Happiness curled in Bucky’s stomach like a contented cat. It was nice to be wanted. It was wonderful to be wanted by Tony.

Steve touched Tony’s shoulder. Genuine concern contorted his face. “Tony, I’m really worried. I love you; I don’t want to see you hospitalized because we didn’t take care of you.”

“That’s a sweet love confession, Steve, but my weak, barely functional heart belongs to this darling raccoon over here.” Tony pecked Bucky on the lips. “I really hope you are immune to the common cold, otherwise that was a lot more disgusting than I thought it would be in my head.” Tony sniffled.

Red-nosed, watery-eyed, and a voice that was slowly but surely becoming raspy, and Tony was still the person Bucky most wanted to kiss on the planet. He was a smitten man; he did not mind.

“Tony, I’m serious,” Steve’s tone hardened.

“So am I.” Tony lightly kicked Steve’s knee. “Shoo, shoo. Go pine for me in another room, or make another super boy band to fight against mine, whatever it is you do to cope.”

Steve shook his head. “You’re delirious.”

Tony closed his eyes and groaned. When he opened his eyes again, a shade of the sharp wit that he usually carried shimmered in his eyes. He turned on Steve. “Steve, if I am hospitalized it will be from blue balls, because right now, I am trying to get in your best friend’s pants, and you are cockblocking me.”

Steve’s head jerked back as if struck. He blinked rapidly like a cartoon character then stared at Tony and Bucky.

“You two are dating? Really dating? This isn’t a joke?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “We are trying to.”

“Yeah, third wheel and the love confessions are making it a little hard,” Bucky said.

Steve stiffened. Red tinged the tips of his ears. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Love confession? Really?”

“You said, ‘I love you,’” Bucky argued. He wasn’t going to let Steve off the hook for intruding on his date with Tony.

Tony nodded.

“I say ‘I love you’ to both of you all the time.” The red traveled down Steve’s eartips to his neck. Steve’s jaw set stubbornly.

“No, you don’t,” Bucky said.

“Yes, I do.”

“Friday,” Tony chimed in. “Has Steve ever said ‘I love you’ to Bucky or me before now?”

“I have no record of Steve Rogers saying ‘I love you’ to either of you; however, my records do not account for times that he was outside of my hearing range.”

Tony smirked at Steve. “Don’t try to say that every time you’ve said it you’ve just happened to not be around Friday.”

“I was wrong.” Steve stood up. “You’re not sick enough to go to the hospital. You have too much energy.”

“Love you too, Steve,” Tony said.

Steve’s face turned tomato red.

Tony tilted his head so he could kiss Bucky’s cheek. “Love you more.”

Bucky’s grin cut his face in half.

“I’m going to leave you two alone.” Steve hurried for the exit, like a child who had just walked in on his parents kissing.

“Don’t go after my fella again,” Bucky hollered at Steve’s retreating back. He spoke the words playfully with an undercurrent of seriousness that he knew Steve would pick up on. Steve was his family and best friend–he loved Steve–but Tony was special. He wasn’t okay with Steve hitting on Tony.

“I wasn’t!” Steve shouted as he made himself scarce.

“Sure,” Bucky said, sarcasm dripped off the word.

Tony flopped against Bucky. “Finally! Alone at last.”

[morphituu]

Milagro

Chapter 2: At Last

Ch. 1 - 

A long yawn interrupted his reading of the paper in hand, and he tightened his broad body, pressing as deep as possible into the passenger seat. The briefing was bland as usual, same thing every week. A compiled stack of papers that amounted to possible sightings of Bright’s or wand activity, their locations, dates, descriptions he had to skim over in case anything seemed familiar. It was mind numbing, but if it kept him out of the hole for the incident years ago with Tikka, he’d bear it. His mind might collapse in on itself in the process though.

Activity seemed to have kicked up around the outskirts of LA, but there was nothing to be alarmed about if the paperwork was any say indication of it. If there had been, Nick would’ve been sat in a cramped office with MTF, answering the same questions he’d memorized perfectly in order from all the years of interrogations.

He chuffed silently, rolling a peppercorn from his pasta he’d taken for lunch between his canines.

The last few pages were always dedicated to Tikka and the grave importance of her being apprehended, but still, nothing sparked his interest or alerted him, not even the paragraph where there was a supposed sighting in San Diego. He just couldn’t believe she’d wander back to LA after what happened.

Nick folded the papers and stuffed them in the glove compartment. Everything there he’d heard that morning, anyways.

Instead he scrolled through his phone as he took hearty bites of the pasta, mindlessly looking through Facebook videos and news articles- same shit, different day. Nick rarely liked anything on Instagram; he’d only gotten it so Callie could tag him in the long stream of photos she posted, detailing their everyday life and sometimes the more private aspects. Cautious he was about staring down at his lover in some of the revealing photos while working. Popping a boner was dangerous on the job.

He opened another app, observing where they were that day and grinned before flashing over to message Callie.

Its the size of an apple today

The drivers side door yanked open and another officer climbed in, slamming the door behind himself.

“Chill out,” Nick mumbled, taking another bite but leaving the fork between his teeth, reading her reply.

Really cause i feel like i have an eggplant in me

He smirked. Stick my eggplant in you if you want

“They act like I’m fucking contagious or something,” the younger Orc spat, and Nick snorted.

“Get used to it,”

“No respect- not even for a cop,” he went on, unwrapping his sandwich hotly.

“You’re telling me stuff I already know, kid,” Nick exhaled, stifling a chuckle when Callie responded, Only if you bring me home more cheeeese

“When did they stop harassing you?” the rookie asked, looking at Nick with worried brows. Nick’s head leaned back against the headrest, running his tongue over his filed tusks as he thought it over, but in the end, grinning again.

“When you joined,” Nick smiled sarcastically and his young partner looked down to his sandwich dispondantly. “It gets easier when they get used to you,”

“Or when another Orc joins and carries the burden…” Sergey mumbled, taking a bite of his sandwich. Nick nodded indifferently. Sergey was quite young compared to when Nick finally made it into the Academy and onto being an officer, but he had a good heart despite being a little skittish and hot headed at times. His tusks had been filed like Nick’s, but he’d been blooded young- something about resuscitating a toddler at a pool, ah, he couldn’t remember. Not like he could gloat about his own blooding. Either way, it meant most Orcs didn’t chastise him like they had Nick, which in turn made their jobs a little easier.

“It’s bullshit,” Sergey chuffed.

"You wanted to join- that’s on you. What’s bullshit is Heig making us work the afternoon before the banquet,” Nick reasoned, returning to the message.

Im getting a costco bag this time. Does pucca need food?

“You’re going?” Sergey asked, a cheekful of sub.

“We have to go,”

“Oh fuck- Dura is going to kill me. I told her we didn’t have to go,” he griped, holding his head.

“Anytime the LAPD is doing something expect to have to go,”

His phone vibrated in his hand again. Nah she’s good. Im off at 4 today

Nick finished the last bite of his food before replying, Okay. Dont forget to take your vitamin

“You’re taking Callie?” Sergey asked, looking over to Nick yawning again and sliding down his seat as he stretched as best he could in the cramped space.

“Wouldn’t go without her,” he told him, his phone face down on his chest.

“Gonna tell people tonight?” the young Orc piped, his ears twitching when Nick side eyed him. Nosey little asshole.

“Not like we could hide it. If anyone says anything to her I might throw a table,” Nick grumbled.

“Even if, it’s none of their business. People delve into others shit for their daily dose of drama and then don’t want to assume any of the responsibility afterwards. Like humans abandoning babies,” Sergey rattled, his accent coming forth a little.

Nick had turned his shoulders in his seat, looking at him a little aghast. “Such depth- is that why Dura puts up with you?”

“It is because I’m the darkest hue of grey she’s ever seen.” he flaunted, earning a scoff from Nick. It was true- Sergey was a very muted color compared to most Orcs that were painted in swirls of green or blue tones.

Nick’s shoulder radio sounded, and the two listened for the call to the accident. Sergey took a couple more heaving bites of his sandwich as Nick responded, instructing him to turn on the lights before siren until they’d pulled onto the street.

↠

His day closed around 2, uneventful, and he liked it that way. Coming home pissed off wasn’t necessarily a bad thing when Callie willingly offered herself up as a sexual ragdoll for him to blow off steam, but being in more delicate condition meant having to withhold some of the roughness she adored. He was left with time to head to Costco before he had to pick her up, which by this time on a Friday, would be packed, and her method of dealing with rude shoppers who bumped into her uncaringly was… hostile, to say the least.

Nick grinned to himself as he palmed the wheel to park the truck. Already so protective.

He wandered aimlessly, up and down the aisles, grabbing this and that, knowing he was forgetting something that he’d only remember once home; it happened every time. He grabbed the massive bag of shredded cheese and moved on with his cart, snatching samples as he passed the small stands. As always, he stopped to look over the books, mostly for himself, but kept an eye out for a new Stephen King novel- yep, there it was. Now Callie would have something to do during her appointments that seemed to drag on and on for hours. But another one caught his eye and he picked it up.

Multi-race Baby Names: 1000+ Choices for Your Little Surprise

Nick scoffed. “Surprise?” he said under his breath. 1000, huh? That was also placed in the cart and purchased.

The drive to the bank was decent. In that neighborhood, people drove angrily, like they were the only ones that mattered on the road. It resulted in him flashing his badge at a particular asshole who kept trying to shove his way in front of Nick when the lanes merged. Nick couldn’t help but laugh a little sarcastically. Years in, and he was over being prim and proper just so people wouldn’t mind the Orc cop.

He parked the truck in front, pulling out his phone to tell her he was waiting.

He thumbed through the book he got for himself, reading the preface as he snacked from a monstrous box of crackers he’d bought; Sci-fi was becoming a new favorite of his.

A soft, carrying whistle caught his attention and he looked up, smiling at the pretty face that tuned the two-note whistle as she walked to the truck, her growing belly poking out from between the smartly pressed jacket she wore over her dress suit.

“Hey baby,” Nick said as she struggled to hoist herself up into the truck, tossing her bag to the floorboard along with her folder packed with paperwork, grunting when she curled over her stomach. “How was work?”

“I’m on the verge of firing Isabel. I’ve never met someone so fucking lazy and sorry for themselves, ugh! And she always attacks people for being more committed than her? She tried to get on me for being branch manager and I was this close-” she basically mashed her thumb and index together, “This close to knocking her on her ass,” she leaned over to give him a quick kiss.

“Don't forget you’re preg-”

“I didn’t work my ass off to feel bad that she can’t manage to make it in 3 of the 6 days she works-” she angrily tied her hair up. “Fuck that,” she yanked the seatbelt over her stomach, arching her back to better settle in the seat and slipping an ankle under her thigh once kicking off a heel. “And I need maternity clothes. I can’t keep squeezing into these shirts,” she huffed, letting her head bounce back against the seat with a hard exhale. “Fuck I’m winded,”

“Little thing getting too big already?” he asked affectionately, backing out of the spot.

“Your dad was right when he said you’d make big babies,” she smirked.

“We could skip the banquet and go shopping,” he tried, flashing a devious grin but only receiving an unamused glare in return.

“I didn’t spend all that money on a dress to let it go to waste. You can’t weasel your way out of the suit,”

“I hate suits,” he grumbled, his hand instinctively moving to her stomach when he pulled up to a busy road he had to turn onto.

“Mhm. Did you get the cheese?”

“And a few other things,” he motioned to the box in the backseat. Her legs bounced in excitement at the newest Stephen King, but she passed it to look over the baby names, also pulling a cheese stick from her purse as she flipped through the pages.

“We should also make a list of names we won’t use,” she commented dryly, and he snorted.

“Like?”

“Bog- Bogdub?” she pronounced slowly, her nose scrunching. “I like Lorn though. Shat? Shat is a name?” she exclaimed.

“Really old name,” he palmed the wheel as they pulled into a drive-thru across the street, lowering his window. “What’ya want?”

“You’re getting takeout?” her brows drew in together.

“There’s only gonna be snacks and drinks at the thing,”

“Oh, okay, eehhmm… 2 five-layered burritos with guac and crema,” she said through the corner of her mouth.

“Better not have fish in it,”

“It’s a Taco Bell, mensito.” she ribbed, his flat look making her giggle.

They drove home with pleasant conversation drifting between them, his hand remaining on her stomach and his thumb rubbing absentmindedly over the baby that had caused an unexpected bout of nausea that morning, but had subsided in time for her to order her favorite item on the menu.

Once home, he carried their bags and Costco purchases in one hand and kept his other arm around her shoulders, pulling her tightly against his side to plant firm kisses on her temple, Callie pushing half-heartedly against his chest as she laughed against his affections. Pucca was already barking inside, jumping at eye level excitedly once the door had opened.

Both of them took the time to smother her with kisses and silly questions about how her day was, the chubby pitbull wiggling side to side to keep up with the lightning speed of her wagging tail as her parents showered her with love.

Callie only bothered enough to take off her jacket and unbutton her shirt once sat at the table, far too eager to dig into her meal with Pucca’s chin rested on her thigh; she gave her little scraps, baby talking endlessly to the pretty eyed pitbull. Nick had started sitting at an angle in his seat beside her, making room on his lap for her restless feet so she didn’t fidget uncomfortably.

“What time is the thing tonight?”

“Six,” Nick barely got out. She had a brilliant habit of asking him something whenever his mouth was full.

She twisted her wrist to look at her watch. “Doesn’t leave much time to get ready,”

“Don’t rush. As long as we show up it’s fine,”

The final bite of her food washed down her throat with her drink, standing to ball her wrappers and toss them.

“I’m gonna shower real quick.” she called from the kitchen, speed walking as she pulled her dress shirt down her arms, Pucca at her heels.

“Mhm,” unconsciously he hummed around his food, pushing some around with his fork when his eyes flickered up in realization. He sat straight with his neck extended, listening intently from the table; the shower curtain rings scraping across the pole, the water springing from the shower head. Nick started to cover his food and gather his trash, his eyes remaining trained on the entrance to the hallway.

By the time it was all shoved crudely into the takeout bag, he was on his feet, and had heard the shower curtain open and close again.

There was no reason to, but he still tiptoed down the hall as he pulled his shirt forward from his shoulder blades, pushing his face into the cracked door so it opened a little more.

Thinking of how the water streamed down her naked body only provoked his eagerness, which in turn made him a little clumsy in his impatience to push his pants and briefs down and yank his socks off.

“Nick?” she called loudly from the other side of the curtain, and he took the opportunity to poke his head in.

“Yeah?”

She spun with a short screech, her hands hidden in her bubbly, lathered hair.

“What’re you doing?” she started to grin, scratching her scalp as he stepped into the narrow shower, now even more of a tighter fit with a wide shouldered Orc before her.

“I needed a shower too,” he said against her neck, partially squatting to wrap his arms around her middle, her distended stomach right below his pecs. He tried to hide his flinch when the searing water ran over his scalp, and she laughed at the way he tensed and grunted.

He flinched from under it, wincing as he spit some from his mouth. “S’like fire,”

“Only way to get clean,” she smirked, bending back under the water to shake her fingers between her soaked tresses, the raining shampoo following the curves and dips of her body.

Nick felt his eyes heavy, as well as his breathing when he watched how her honey-golden skin shone from the miniscule light coming in. He was already salivating, inhaling deeply to find her scent, but there was too much steam and the smell of her fragrant shampoo around them.

The soft brush of his touch across her nipples shot goosebumps down her sides, her eyes opening to find his burning ambers as he stepped into her space. His thumbs rolling and swiping stirred a soft sigh from Callie and her arms fell around his shoulders loosely when he leaned down to adorn her wet skin with kisses and soft bites, his hands catching the curve of her back when she craned backwards.

His tongue was hotter than the water running over them, his nipping, sharp teeth a pleasant shock every now and then, either around a nipple or biting along the soft sides of her breasts.

“No point in a shower if you’re gonna be dirty,” she murmured when he fisted his hand in her hair after standing straight, a hard kiss to follow.

“Dirty is better than filthy,” he growled, and she smiled when he gripped her bare ass.

“Says you,”

He eyed her, wanting nothing more than to sink his teeth into her again, but also fuck her until she was blind. Her soft touch grazing up his hardened dick made him grunt, his eyes fluttering when she pumped him.

“Mhm,” she kissed into his jaw, then down his neck, finally resting back on her heels when she reached his chest. “You like it dirty, don’t you?” she questioned seductively, un-needing of an answer; she knew.

Nick shuddered in anticipation as she kissed down his chiseled belly, her hands dragging down his ass and thighs. A soft kiss at his inner hip started a hard tremble in his legs; that was his pressure point she only sometimes took advantage of. Finally she gazed up at him as she took his hard member into her hands, finding his desperate eyes.

It always left his mind a pile of useless muscle when she did this. He’d before questioned inwardly how she’d become so good at the way she took his dick to the back of her throat and rotated her hands so perfectly along his shaft at the same time, but by the time the question arose in him this time, he was already bracing himself against the shower wall, his hips rocking into her hot mouth.

And she encouraged it. She’d pull on his hips when he slowed, her attentive touch winding up his clenching stomach, her eyes keeping his when she’d let him fall from her hot mouth onto her chin- fuck, that thin string of spit made him whimper- before letting him rock back in, his direction the only guide back between her lips.

Nick pressed his face into his arm, exhaling harshly when she squeezed along his shaft. Forget the hot water running down his back, or the drops waterfalling over his shoulders- all he could focus on was the soft scrape of her teeth and the way her tongue shaped to his girth perfectly.

“Fuck, Callie,” he ground out, fighting with every shread of restraint left not to pin her arms above her head and fuck her face.

“Feeling filthy?” she teased, her tongue gliding up along the underside of his dick.

Nick shivered.

She gasped as he lifted her from under her arms in a flash, holding her face to kiss her harshly.

His rigid cock was rested against her stomach, and already her hands were around him again, stroking up to his head where her thumb could swipe over the tip and move the thick beads of precum around.

“Stop,” he breathed heavily, again squatting before her, but to pull up from under her ass until her legs wrapped around him.

Her stomach hadn’t grown big enough to stop this… yet.

A wavering moan fell from him when he merely brushed against her cunt while carefully hooking his arms under her knees, his palms flat against the tile wall.

She was open, and ready, and he didn’t need to smell her to know she’d been prepared for this since he first stepped into the shower. He could see it in the feral glint of her caramel pools, and her mouth hung open, her full lips begging to be kissed.

But Nick liked to take his time.

Despite her pleas, he pushed in agonizingly slow, always groaning loudly for that first slide in.

She kissed him with abandon, her blunt nails pinching every so often as he loved her from tip to base, the deep pumps leaving her limp in his hold.

“Apurate,” she sighed, her tongue lapping against his teasingly. She tasted like the water dripping down their faces, her lips still soft as he stole a few slow pecks.

“Shut your big mouth,” he played, hissing when she bit down on his bottom lip. He snapped his hips forward once, a gasp falling from her wide smile.

“You like my big mouth,”

“Yeah when it’s around my big dick,”

“Oo, getting cocky?” she asked, clinging to him when he fired into her. Callie’s head fell back, her body thrusting up and down against the wall as he fucked her, gazing down at her bouncing breasts. She cursed, and cried, her toes curling on either side of him.

“Keep saying cock,” he groused, kissing her turned jaw.

“Then fuck me harder with that big cock,” she simpered, watching one of his hairless brows rise before her repositioned his feet and fucked her without restraint.

Immediately she locked up, under an assault she couldn’t flee from, but squirming from this would be foolish when he so perfectly caressed her hidden treasure, turning her words to clustered cries and sending her eyes rolling back into her skull.

“Yes-” she choked, heavy hands holding his face. “Fuck me, fuck me just like that,” she near laughed, smiling widely as the bliss started its slow build-up.

He kissed her sparingly, unwanting of those delicious moans to be smothered, stifling his own so he could hear clearly the way she begged in his name. It sounded like a holy prayer, the way it rolled off her tongue; it made him feel like he was the one to be worthy of worship.

“Baby-,” he panted, dropping his face to her neck when his groin area started to tighten. “Baby I’m gonna cum,”

“Not yet,” she begged, “Just a lil’ longer,”

But he continued, entranced completely.

“Nick,” she breathed, and he had enough power in him to stop from thrusting back in, his head hidden inside her smooth pussy. No way he could stay like this for long. He was teetering on the brink, wanting so badly to throw himself over that brilliant edge.

“Rub your clit,” he ordered, and watched, and moaned, fighting the burning urge to fuck her again as she rubbed her swollen clit rapidly.

“Do you like it?” she asked, but his head didn’t lift as he nodded, daring a slow, single pump as she carried on. His arms shook from the power of his hands pressing into the shower wall.

“Do you still wanna fuck me?” she whispered, grinning at the desperation in his face.

“Don’t do that,” he whined, daring another slow pump, pressing tight enough into her that she moved up the wall.

“Fuck me then,” she moaned, her breath fluttering. Nick recognized that. “Fuck me,”

He obeyed, a loud, shuddering moan coming forth as he shifted back into that steady rhythm again.

“You’re gonna make me cum baby,” her voice was peaking, her head hanging forward as the once flawless flicks of her wrist became erratic, and then her hand pulled back altogether. ”Oh there, oh there-”

There was a long moment of her eyes pinched shut and jaw hung before she let go of her long symphony of moans, her hips circling as much as possible as the euphoria stretched across her shaking form.

It only took a few pulses of her pussy around him to finally have him falling into that pool of ecstasy, pressed balls deep into her quivering cunt as he drained in her, thick shots of semen pulsing from his dick again and again.

Where once the water splashing down them had been forgotten, it was now preventing her from holding around his shoulders comfortably, and he at last looked at her, bumping her nose a few times as they both struggled to even their breathing.

“We need to bathe in holy water after that,” she cracked, and he snorted, placing a few good kisses on her cheek before carefully letting her down. It was almost comical the way he popped from her, grunting quietly when his still shrinking dick felt vulnerable without her warmth around him.

“Now I’m too lazy to finish,” she sighed, a hand over her tightened stomach and the other reaching to pump conditioner in her palm, uncaring of the aftermath leaking down the insides of her thighs.

“So I guess you washing my back is out of the question?” he pouted.

“Only if you wash me first,” she played, her long hair held up in a wet pile atop her head.

Callie hadn’t actually expected him to, but when he squeezed a tiny mountains worth of her silky body wash into his palm, she turned, already turning to jelly in his hold as he massaged it all along her body. Across her menacing crow tattoo that adorned her shoulder blades, and down her toned arms to her hands that he cupped in his, wrapping them around herself when he circled her.

She turned her cheek into his kiss, relishing in his sturdy chest against her back and his protective hands holding either side of her stomach.

Now he could smell her- even above the body wash. There was Callie’s vanilla, and the savory essence of pregnancy that reminded him of her blood he’d savored when he first bit her, and now there was him, seasoning her like the final pinch to a perfect dish.

She was all of them- a tailor made perfume just for him.

One hand lingered over her stomach where the other moved around her, holding close what he owed his happiness to. But alarming pride also coarsed through him. Seeing her grow with pregnancy made him animalistic, almost; there was nothing like seeing evidence of what he’d done with his mate literally show before him like that.

“I did this,” he declared softly, fingertips pressing mindfully into her round belly. “I put a baby in you,”

She reached back to hold his opposite cheek, planting a few lingering kisses on the one closest to her. “That’s your baby.”

Pulling on the tux and making sure everything was tucked and buttoned neatly had been easy up to this point. The YouTube tutorial was doing little to help his fat fingers loop and pull the tie into anything that could actually pass as a tie, and he slipped it from around his neck angrily, the fitted fabric of the black tux around his shoulders already bothering him.

“Fuckin’... piece of shit,” he hissed under his breath. “Fuck this,”

He stalked towards their room, pushing Pucca down when she jumped at his thigh. “If you get fur on this your mom will kill me.” She still wagged her butt, whining after him as he walked down the hall. That’s when it hit him; fucking lint rollers! He stomped the rest of the way to the room, pissed at his own inability to remember his entire purchase list when going to the store.

“Can you help me with… this,” he trailed off, rendered speechless.

The carnelian red material of the sheer gown flowed down her body softly like the calm running of water, changing shape only over her stomach that bulged beneath it. It pooled elegantly around her feet, and the thin straps of the shoulder and low cut back showed off the art adorning her body, especially the dark, menacing crow across her shoulder blades. She looked at him curiously as he detailed her long hair pulled into a loose twist, some locks falling around her face and neck, just a glimpse of the silver earrings dangling and the small stars beside her brow ridge.

“How do I look?” she asked, tentatively, her thigh and knee poking from the high cut of the dress.

His mouth opened to utter everything; gorgeous, beautiful, perfect, astounding- but he was left with nothing but his hand on his chest, unable to take his eyes from his ecstatically beautiful lover.

“Lat're ij goddeukuk,” he uttered, finally, but not knowing what he’d said, she looked back to the mirror, her hands running down the curve of her belly and cupping underneath.

“Think people can tell?” she asked.

He grinned, proudly. “People can tell,”

That’s my baby.

She nodded, turning to grab his tie and loop it around his collar. “I’m nervous,” she said softly, her thin fingers manipulating the material expertly.

“You both look beautiful,” he said, and she grinned, her eyes still on the tie. “So good that I can’t imagine how you’d look in a wedding dress,”

“I’m not-”

“Getting married pregnant, I know,” he griped, a little sourly.

Her hands moved to hold his face, stood on her toes and craning her neck for a kiss until he leaned the rest of the way down. He exhaled, holding her sides as her thumbs smoothed his chiseled cheekbones, her kisses soothing away what little disappointment sat on his heart.

“You will one day?” he asked huskily, enveloping her mouth for a deeper caress as his fingers curled into the sheer material of the dress.

“Calista Jakoby is too good of a name to pass up. And that police pension.” she grinned, yelping when he smacked her ass.

With the tie braided artfully and her heels slipped on as she steadied herself against him, she grabbed her clutch and phone as he grabbed the keys, planting a few kisses on Pucca’s head before closing the door behind them.

She half jogged to the truck when the cold of the night pricked her exposed skin, and this time he helped her into her seat, making sure her dress didn’t catch in the door. The heater was cranked once inside, noting the goosebumps already rising on her arms and again they rode with his hand over her stomach.

“Rosie is salty she wasn’t invited,” Callie grinned, flashing the long rants worth of messages from her sister.

“Paramedics aren’t as cool,”

“Oh you’re gonna get on her about that again?”

“If she keeps mocking about seeing me at that doughnut shop, which I was at for you,”

“To be fair that was too good of a joke to pass up on.” Callie simpered, laughing when he squeezed her knee.

Valet took his truck when they arrived, surprisingly complimentary of the LAPD, and Callie kept her clutch against her stomach when Nick offered his elbow, walking up the dazzling stairs carpeted in rich red and stunning gold linings. He felt a little out of place being at such an upper class location but Callie fit right in, like she should’ve always attended sparkling events such as this.

They passed a few familiar officers chatting in the marble lobby, and she almost forgot to keep her chin lifted confidently as they took double takes at her obvious condition.

“That makes me feel like a walking attraction,” she intoned.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, they were obviously looking at me.” he corrected, evoking a giggle.

They boarded the elevator, both looking around at the exquisite space that looked like it belonged in New York amongst the ultra rich, not LA.

She turned, finding one of the walls to be a mirror, and took her phone from her clutch.

“C’mere,” she called, and he stood behind her, posing against her back as she beamed in the photo. There were silly ones; of him holding her up as she craned back, pretending to bite her neck, and there were raunchier ones of her ass pressed into his hips he couldn’t help but laugh at.

“That ones for Instagram.” she chimed, depositing her phone back in her clutch as they made it to the upper floor.

The music boomed through the wide hall they walked through to enter the banquet room, the tables lining the walls littered with fellow officers and their wives or husbands, some with kids dressed elegantly. All had a look to dish to Callie, who was in the small handful of other woman wearing something besides the normal neutral colored gowns, but then they saw the stomach, and their conversations shifted. Nick hadn’t told anyone at work beside Sergey and Ward, so this was the night the news was breaking: the Orc finally knocked her up.

They stood at the entrance, overlooking all the tables and people, the dance floor a little sparse besides Nick’s captain dancing poorly with his band of merry men. She scoffed.

“I’m already over this.” Nick stated, fixing the cuff around his wrist.

“Jakoby!”

They turned to find Sergey walking up to them, a wide smile and also in a fitted tux with his girlfriend close behind.

“Hey kid,” Nick nodded in his direction, greeting Dura quickly.

“Miss Callie, my favorite human,” Sergey said in a silly manner, a little smitten as he hugged her tightly.

“Hi sweetie- hi Dura!” Callie said excitedly, hugging the lean female Orc behind him that was cloaked in a strapless, deep green gown with diamond embroidery beneath the bust and equally dazzling hoops hanging off her pointed ears.

“Oh my god you’re finally showing!” Dura whined lovingly, holding Callie’s sides after she hugged her. “Any kicks yet? This lug won’t tell me anything,” she jabbed her thumb in Sergey’s direction, but he only rolled his ochre eyes.

He wouldn’t let me say a word to anyone,” Sergey directed the blame to Nick.

“Yeah cause that was so difficult for you,” Nick grumbled.

“Y’all Fogteeth need to stop congregating in public like this,” Ward piped in, walking up from behind Nick before giving him the handshake. Their interaction wasn’t as constant since Nick had finished his first year, but they made it a point to still meet up for lunches or when Ward needed help in his yard. “How ya doin’ mamas?” he moved to hug Callie, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“Ahh, depends on the day,” she grinned, leaning sideways. “Hi Sherri,” she flashed a dazzling smile, effectively warding off Daryl’s salty wife who didn’t look half bad in her royal blue dress. Hair was a little tacky along with those ridiculous nails, though.

“My goodness, look at this,” Daryl held her sides, patting a couple times. “How long ‘til he gets to meet his uncle?”

“Got about 5 more months,” Nick said, loosening his tie. Callie pulled his hands down, mumbling to stop messing with his suit.

“You know I still don’t understand how you were able to keep quiet about this but I can’t get him to shut up about fuckin’ veggies- just in my ear, all day when we have routes together,” Ward teased, the girls laughing as Nick chuffed loudly.

“You never shut up about your dead ass lawn…” Nick mumbled.

“Cause that shit you suggested still ain’t doing shit-”

“I’ve told you a hundred times-”

“I want a snack,” Callie butted in before they started bickering endlessly.

“Me too- come, tell me all about the little faushnu.” Dura said affectionately, the girls arms linking as they walked back to the tables loaded with sweets.

“Congrats, brother,” Ward clapped Nick on the back, making the Orc somewhat bashful.

“Yeah yeah, thanks.”

“Hey, did you get that briefing from Heig this morning?” He questioned, bumping Nick’s arm.

“For everyone?” Sergey butted in, listening curiously.

“Yeah- is there really another wand floating around?” Nick asked lowly, and Sergey’s eyes widened.

“A wand!?” Sergey exclaimed, and Nick hit his chest with the back of his hand. The young Orcs face tightened, his filed tusks showing momentarily from behind his angry pout.

“Do we really have to get involved in that shit again?”

“I don’t see why we would. What happened was one thing and this is another. I don’t want none of that shit in my business.” Ward explained, head shaking as he searched for Sherri.

“What shit?” Sergey tried again, but the other officers dropped it, leaving the rookie fuming.

A few hours in, and most of the men had removed their jackets and rolled up their sleeves, leaving Nick to follow suit promptly. Any longer and he would’ve lost his mind under the restricting fabric. Heig was alongside a few other deputies, all lined up across the stage as the mayor spoke highly of the LAPD, his shadowed eyes only aiding to a sense of lies alongside his smile.

Most watched, but a lot mingled amongst themselves still, uncaring of the announcements that could’ve been done at the station instead of this whole thing.

“Theadora,” Callie tried, scooping ice cream into her tiny spoon. Nick scrunched his nose.

“Elizabeth?” but now Callie shook her head.

“Why do we only ever suggest girl names?”

“I feel like I’d only make girls,” Nick shrugged, sipping his rum and coke. “Most of the firstborn in my family are girls,”

“Mm, maybe. What about Guillermo?”

“Wasn’t that Rosie’s…?”

She shook her head. “Benecio,”

“Ahh. Anyways- something I can pronounce please,”

That unnecessary part of the banquet ended in low applause, but Heig looked like he’d been handed the key to the city, standing under the hot lights and sweating like a hooker in church.

“He didn’t even get a medal or anything,” Nick commented dryly, and Callie looked at him with a knowing smile.

“Like you got? For being the biggest and baddest?” she asked, and he nodded, confidently.

“Damn right. That’s why that shits framed.” he wiggled his brows, smirking when she chuckled with the spoon between her teeth.

The men dispersed from the stage, the dance floor filling again with tipsy couples only embarrassing themselves as they flaunted their supposed dance skills.

Nick’s arm hung off the back of her chair, his fingers tracing designs on her arm when she leaned against him, whispering little nothings and the occasional joke as the minutes ticked by in their own little world. Ward ambled around, butting in and then wandering off again and again until Sherri kept him close, and the same went for Sergey. He was already tipsy by the time he flopped back into a chair beside Nick, asking where Dura was even though she’d been following him around for the past hour.

The seats started to fill up when the music slowed, sending most of the more lively attendees away to the drinks.

“Are you gonna ask me to dance?” Callie asked softly, and he looked down at her, his brow cocking.

“You’re gonna make me go out there?” he asked, and she smiled, nodding. He considered arguing, but he also knew how much she’d missed dancing since instructed by doctors to take it easy. With a defeated sigh, he rose, holding out his hand to help her stand and smooth down her dress. Nick lead her through the tables, thankful that a slower song had started lulling through the speakers; he didn’t have any skills to get down like she was capable of. But after years of watching Callie during recitals and performances, and gazing at her as she spun slow circles in their kitchen only to be dragged over, he knew enough.

With their hands held up, he spun her slowly, bringing forth a dazzling smile as he drew her in. The way he so tenderly ran his hands down her arms to her lower back made her sigh, her own inching up his chest as they fell into a steady, smooth swaying. His forehead bumped hers, catching her molten eyes that sparkled under the lights around them.

“You’ve been practicing?” She asked softly, her thumbs stroking his neck when her hands slid higher over his shoulders.

“Shuffling in a circle isn’t that hard,”

“Say that to my broken toes,” she teased, and he growled at her, only stirring another smile. “I’m joking. You’ve only broken one of my toes,”

“Keep it up and I’ll pass you to someone else,” he smirked, arm moving around her shoulder when she slipped hers around his waist. Callie beamed when he started to purr with their cheeks touching, the soft strokes against her shoulder blade from his wide, rough palm sending shivers down her sides.

“You’d never,”

“Don’t tempt me,”

Their shape was a little funny- her stomach prevented her from pressing flat against him like normal, but it still made him grin, just barely, to himself.

It was like they were dancing with their baby, softly lulling it like Callie talked about doing when she could hold it in her arms.

“If I can hold it in my arms,” she pouted, wiping the gel from her stomach after an ultrasound.

Nick frowned. “Why would you say that?”

“Cause this is the fourth time I’ve been pregnant, and I haven’t been able to name or hold any of them.” she told him, silencing any further rebuttle. No matter how grim that was, her words were valid.

His arms drew tighter, giving her a light squeeze. Every pregnancy, she was more disconnected than the last, afraid to become attached. He was already head over heels excited, but he had been the other times, too. It saddened him to see her pass by onesies and various other baby items when they’d go to stores, telling him, ‘we can wait a little longer’.

Let’s see if this one makes it, is what she really meant.

“Do you know how many times I had to stop myself from grabbing a glass of champagne tonight?” she said into his chest, shaking him from darker thoughts.

“If my kid comes out with an ear on their forehead I’m gonna punch you in the throat,” he grumbled, and grunted when she poked his sides.

“I want a day to get drunk after I deliver,” she looked up at him. “I miss our nights at Loco’s,”

“We still have fun without getting drunk,” he mouthed against her jaw, keeping his arms secured around her when she giggled and wiggled.

“We’ll have mommy and daddy days,” she decided, tucking her head back under his chin. He blinked a few times.

“That’s the first time I’ve heard something like that out loud,” he confessed softly, a little flushed. “Never thought of myself as a daddy over just being a parent,”

“You’re my big Orc daddy,”

He scoffed stubbornly, squeezing her. “Shut up,”

The slow song only lasted that one turn. People started calling for upbeat music again and Callie pulled Nick away from the dance floor, mentioning that she didn’t want to risk getting kicked in the gut when one of the white boys inevitably tried to breakdance.

So they all huddled to a table; Ward with Sherri- although she could care less at a table full of Orcs- and Sergey with Dura, all of them teasing and talking and booming with laughter when the drinks came and went quickly, the men throwing them back and some more when Sergey pulled a fat flask from his tux. Nick became quite the chatty cat when he got to drinking, pointing this way and that, speaking of things he normally kept bottled after shitty days or telling Ward in particular how much he liked his mustache.

When the men started slurring and Sergey nearly tripped over an entire chair after saying he didn’t see the entire said chair, the woman gathered their stumbling men, sneaking out of the banquet despite Heig moving to the stage again to make more announcements, drunkenly that was.

At valet, Callie directed Nick to the passenger side, pushing his big body up until she could close the door quickly. Off with her heels and she could drive, again blasting the heater when the harsh chill of the night stung her skin.

“Nick c’mon,” Callie laughed, a hand against his chest to steady his towering form that one arm around his back couldn’t do alone.

“You could’a left me in the truck,” he mumbled, walking, but when he swayed here and there, it was like trying to catch a falling tree.

A string of giggles tumbled from her lips as he mouthed the back of her neck, kissing across her shoulder with his hands against the door and his body shielding hers as she struggled to find the house key, her shoulder drawing into her cheeks every time he tried to get one of her ears.

They both lurched forwards when she managed the door finally, but Nick still had good enough reactions even drunk and caught himself, then her before they both went crashing to the floor. A moment of shock, and then he was laughing, air forcing out between his pursed lips.

“Go, go to bed,” she instructed, letting him wobble his way towards the back of the house, but stopping to give Pucca hugs and kisses. “Go lay down before you fall,” she instructed as she tossed her heels aside. Ugh, much better. She even wiggled her toes into the carpet a bit.

“You go lay down before you-” he mimicked, standing suddenly, walking with determination into the kitchen, throwing open the pantry door with more force than meant. “Found them,” he mumbled with heavy eyes, cradling his bag of Takis as he bumped into the kitchen entrance before heading back on his original path.

She had lock up duty that night- closing windows, double checking doors, arming the alarm system that Nick had had installed a couple years back.

Upon entering the room, she found him with the open bag still in his inner arm, struggling to kick off his shoes and not fall flat on his face with Pucca walking circles around him.

“Get,” she waved Pucca away, then pushed against his chest to get him onto the bed, losing a few Takis along the way. “Stay there,”

“Are you trying to get me in bed?” he asked coyly, lifting his feet as she pulled his shoes off.

“I already have you there- Nick!” she smiled, exclaiming as he kept stealing kisses along her collarbone when she tried to unbutton his shirt.

“You’re so pretty,”

“Hush and stay still,” she ordered, somehow getting his dress shirt off before smacking his thigh to make him turn a little.

“You’re my girlfriend,” he stated matter of factly while pointing to himself with eyes clouded by booze, chewing loudly on the chips.

“That so?” she went along, pulling his slacks down his legs and stepping back as he violently kicked them off across the room.

“Yeah, cause I,” he pointed to his own chest again, “Put that in you,” his finger landed back at her belly.

“Proud of yourself, ain’t ya?” she smiled, pulling her earrings off.

He nodded, a smug smile plastered across his face that only made her eyes roll in amusement. But his amusement puddles when he watched her start to carefully hang his suit up, pressing down small creases.

“Just throw it in the laundry,” he mumbled, glaring hatefully at the handsome suit.

Callie turned, the temper of her eyes dangerous. “Hell no. I picked and paid for this suit- it’s gonna be treated like a member of this household,”

Nick scoffed. “S’not that nice,”

She looked at him blandly. “Wanna pay me back the $300 for it then?”

“Pay you back with some lovin’, c’mere,” he made grabby hands at her, but his reach was smacked away, an exaggerated pout following.

The dress was pulled up from her feet as she padded to the bathroom, eager to take off the make-up she’d painstakingly put on. At least swirling the makeup remover around was enjoyable- she’d often drag the mascara around her eyes to resemble the joker, cackling quietly to herself before rinsing it off. A quick wash, some moisturizer and her eye cream she couldn’t live without later, and she was finally done, but stopped halfway down the hallway to turn back.

Should pee now before I get up and run into something.

Doing that with the dress was a damn chore. Coming back out again, she glanced at the sticky note on the spare room they still needed to clean out and prepare. The corners of her lips kicked up in a smirk.

N + C = baby, the sticky note said. Nick had first stuck the note to a onesie he’d bought the day she’d made it past her first trimester, and despite the teasing nature of the words across the onesie, she couldn’t part with the attached note. It had been on the door since, and realistically, she didn’t think she’d ever be ready to take it down; there had been times she considered framing it. Even after recalling that beaming, cocky smile he gave when presenting the ‘Of course I’m cute, have you seen my dad?’ onesie.

Nick chewed noisily, still sprawled across the bed and offering a hand to pull the zipper of the dress down the soft curve of her spine. Callie swatted at his hand when he pinched her butt, his eyes a little hungrier for something besides Takis when a waft of her scent hit him after the dress fell into a red puddle around her feet and left her only in red lace panties that barely contained the ass she’d gained.

If he thought fucking his scent into her was something that made his ego skyrocket, sticking a baby in her and carrying that child heightened it everyday, boosting his pride to an otherworldly level. On top of the bite that adorned her breast, this would solidify them as mates for life, more than marriage ever would. That being said, it still fascinated Nick that of everyone she could’ve chosen, she loved him, an Orc, and chose to breed with him regardless that they’d have a halfling. She wanted his child.

Nick was lost in admiration before he could realize that she’d been watching him as she rubbed cocoa butter into her stomach, her brows curved in scrutiny. He looked like he was on the verge of crying… but he could just be tremendously sleepy after downing his weight in alcohol.

Her hair fell loose around her shoulders after pulling a loose tank top on, turning with hands upon her hips. “You look sad,”

“I’m in awe,” he elaborated artfully, his hand spinning and a chip between his lips.

“Awe?” her brows perked up, watching him struggle to sit up and reach for her.

“I need t’talk to ‘em,” he murmured, pulling her by the hips.

“About?” She grinned, leaning back into her hands when he pushed her shirt up.

“It’s private,” he mumbled, and she snorted.

“Listen,” he said close to her distended stomach. “You are the greatest- and I mean greatest when I say it in the presence of a literal goddess,” he paused to gaze up sleepily, but she looked away, pink dusting her cheeks. “You, tiny me, are the best thing I’ve ever done,” he proclaimed softer, his wide hand over her protectively. “You made me realize how badly I wanted to be a father,”

Sentiment stirred her heart, listening to Nick declare such love to their unborn child with his forehead rested against her stomach.

“I love you,” he murmured, a kiss lingering on her stomach before he pulled her shirt back down. “I love you,”

Soft strokes from her hands across his head turned his face up to her, and she grinned, holding his cheeks when he stood to kiss her; he tasted like vodka and fire.

“I told you this one would stick,” he said against her mouth.

“Don’t get a big head now,”

“I’m just sayin’, third time's the charm,” he simpered, and she followed him into bed.

Just as Callie had finished propping numerous pillows around herself and grabbing the Firestick, Pucca came bounding up the bed, walking all over Nick in attempts to lay between them.

“Braav-” Nick cursed, pushing her away, but she was still smiley and wiggly, rolling to lather Callie’s face in kisses. “We have to train her to stop that,”

“She just feels left out,” Callie baby talked, smooshing and swirling Pucca’s wide head between her hands as the panting dog moved closer. “My big baby,”

“Not gonna be th’baby anymore,”

“But she’s always gonna be my first! Aren’t you? Aren’t you preciosa? Mi hermosa bebe?” Callie gushed, Pucca’s head twisting back and forth and her floppy ears perked forward.

Nick finally settled, Takis in one hand and phone in the other when he stopped to watch her smother the dog, kisses upon kisses to her furry head, wondering how enamoured she would be with their baby in her arms.

“We can start buying more stuff now y’know,” he carefully suggested.

Callie shrugged, resting her jaw in hand when she perched on her side. The knuckles of his hand rubbed her stomach, peeping from beneath her shirt. “I suppose,”

“You know you’re allowed to enjoy your pregnancy,”

“It’s not that,” half her face scrunched. “I do- I really do. I even try to remind myself when I’m puking that I’d rather be dealing with that than… empty. But I feel like if I become 100% invested it’s all gonna be taken away again,” she explained with a reserved tone.

“Not this time. You’re so far along now,”

“I’m still worried. I always worry.” she said with her eyes keeping his, a hidden fear showing through in her jittering foot.

He didn’t know what to say. There would be no vanquishing the worry until she had it cradled in her arms and against her chest. Nick could offer little words of reassurance. He didn’t know what it was like being afraid of your own body that could betray you after giving life.

“I like Leonardo,” he stated instead, and although her mouth opened to protest, a sense of appeasement filled her, flipping the name again and again in her mind.

“That’s a strong contender,”

“Or Jonaq,”

“Started strong and ended lame.” Her lips flattened into a straight line, and he smacked her hip.

Pucca’s head popped up from behind Callie, a soft growl rumbling, but her tail was wagging fiercely, her pretty eyes trained on Nick.

“Oh what’re gonna do? Huh? You big useless thing?” Nick challenged, sitting up to press his nose to Pucca’s as she continued to growl.

-----------------------------------------

“Okay, let’s take a look here,” the ultrasound technician chimed, dragging the probe across her jellied stomach that was just starting to swell outwards. Nick had lost his mind the first time they noticed it. He spent at least 10 minutes taking pictures, even ones where he knelt beside her before the mirror with his cheek against it, smiling proudly.

The screen displayed the fuzzy black and white mess of shapes and blurs, Callie’s head not having yet rested against the examination table as Nick leaned in closer from her other side.

“Got the butt first this time,” the technician chuckled.

When the small definition of a foot and leg came in suddenly, he tensed, the picture moving up past ribs to a clear profile, softening Callie’s tense expression.

The little head bobbed back, along with small arms and legs that fidgeted in the misshapen oval that would be it’s home for the next 28 weeks.

“It’s moving,” Callie grinned, Nick’s head tilting to watch it wiggle around. “I can’t feel anything,”

“Probably won’t till after about 15 weeks,” she told her kindly, her fingers flying over the keyboard of the machine as she measured and took screenshots.

You’re inside me, Callie thought affectionately, her adoration for the black and white fuzz shaping her baby growing every passing second she saw the tiny arms curl close to its face, or a little leg kick outwards.

“Do you wanna know the sex?”

Nick and Callie looked at one another, but he shook his head. “We’re okay with waiting. So far,”

“Do we get pictures?” Callie asked eagerly, wiping down her stomach once the exam had ended.

“Better yet- here’s an entire album.” The technician smiled, handing over a long stream of printed photos displaying profiles, butts, and overall shapes.

“I can’t tell who’s nose it has,” Callie squinted, holding the scan at arms length after pushing her glasses up.

“It's still too squishy,” Nick chuckled.

“Yeah. Should we get one of those 4D ones done?” she asked, and he pulled in his shoulders while parking in his parents' driveway.

“I wanna wait ‘til it’s born to see it. I don’t want something in my head of what I was told it’d look like,” he explained, grabbing the scans so he could look them over again. “Look at those little arms,” he groaned lovingly.

“I guess,” she said, looking them over again when handed back. “I think it has my nose,”

“Maybe it’ll have my elbows.”

She snorted, folding them diligently to place gently back in her purse as they exited the truck.

Dinara was there to answer with warmer hugs for Callie now than Nick, her hands falling to her small stomach as she berated her with questions about her health; how she was feeling, was she tired, had she eaten yet.

Oleg always had open arms ready, almost picking small Callie up off her feet in a hug and holding her face affectionately as he smiled down at her with warm, golden eyes. “You glow like my Dinara did when she was pregnant with Nick.” he’d say.

Nick was bossed around by his mom as she ordered Callie to sit down and put her feet up, directing her son to pour his lover tea. He handed it off sourly, winking at Callie.

His mother and Callie could sit and talk for hours, most of which was gossip from two completely different lifestyles, added in the normal day to day life and shit at work. Nick and Oleg watched TV, bickering over their rival teams before any steady chit chat could find it’s way in until the food finished cooking and they all moved to the table.

She would deny it at first, but when Dinara slopped seconds and thirds onto Callie’s plate, she never pushed it away.

“You give my grandbaby all the food they can eat.” she’d order earnestly, the spiced rice and veggies piled high on Callie’s plate and too good to resist.

“Speaking of,” Nick said around a full cheek. “She hit 12 weeks a couple days ago,”

Dinara gasped, her fork falling into her roasted potatoes. “You did!?”

Nick retrieved the scans from her purse, but they were snatched from his hands by Oleg before he even sat at the table again, which were in turn snatched by Dinara who barely gave him any lean to look at them as she did, blubbering words of amazement.

“Oh I’m so relieved- I’ve bought so many things I’ve wanted to give to you but didn’t want to anger you!” Dinara sobbed, the scans against her chest even with Oleg trying to pry them from her hands. “Oh, beautiful baby,”

“We can start crib shopping now,” Nick said, holding Callie’s thigh, but she only shrugged indifferently, still smiling as she watched Dinara.

“Onesies first?”

The hesitation was still there, even though they’d made it over that mark. But he nodded, and smiled, leaning over to kiss her head before returning to answer the questions his parents laid on them.

--------------------------------------------

Oh oh oh here we go 🖤 don't she look the cutest with that bump! and Nick in a suit Y U U U U M

translations: -"apurate": hurry up -"lat're ij goddeukuk": you're a goddess -"faushnu": baby -"braav": brat

[kazhewbrekker]

vilify me - chapter 4

this is the longest chapter to date! and probably the last one for a little while as im settling into college and dont have as much time. fear not though! chapter 5 is in the works and im committed to finishing this monster of a multific. without further ado!

(AO3 Link) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3)

Kenji seemed unimpressed as he walked into the hanger. I wasn’t expecting a huge reaction, but I thought he’d be at least a little bit excited over the prospect I was offering. I gave him a wink as he walked closer and patted the seat on the motorcycle I was leaned against, lovingly. It was a good thing I hadn’t run my plan past Warner, he would’ve been jealous.

“Do you know how to ride a motorcycle?” I asked innocently.

Definitely not impressed. “Never seemed like a necessary skill set.”

I shrugged. “Feel like learning?”

Kenji crossed his arms over his chest as I passed a helmet to him. He didn’t take it from me, which was to be expected. There was no chance he was going to go easy on me. I mean this was literally me trying to appeal to him enough to get him to trust me. Or maybe, just maybe, it was me trying to find something to relieve myself of the utter boredom that had befallen me since I came to Sector 45. Which, I had to remind myself, wasn’t Warner’s fault.

He was busy. I was also usually busy, that’s just how things were with us. And now, with this mission he’d put me on, I would find a new way to be busy.

“Come on, it’ll be fun.”

Kenji took the helmet begrudgingly, “Where are we going?”

“Does it matter? Let me answer that, no.”

I climbed onto the seat, settling my feet in their place on either side of the bike. Kenji hesitated again, the black helmet now smugly fastened around his head, trying to figure out where he was supposed to sit on the motorcycle with me. I grabbed his wrist, between us was the layer of his military coat and the riding gloves I had fashioned myself with, as I pulled him on behind me.

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“I didn’t say you would, Princess.” Kenji shifted uncomfortably and created a space between the two of us. I had the urge to roll my eyes. Like that would stop me. If I wanted him dead he would be by now. “How come you don’t wear a helmet?” Kenji asked.

I revved the bike. “Let’s hope you don’t find out.”

-

“Put your foot on the break,” Warner instructed. “No, hold it down.”

“Sorry,” I shot him a glare and pressed down all my weight on the car’s brake. The glare broke apart in an instance. I was too excited to be mad.

Finally, after being told over and over that he would teach me, Warner was going to show me how to drive. I’d wanted to for years, ever since he had when he was eight. Mum and Dad would never let me behind the wheel of a car, at least not until I was older no doubt, they didn’t even trust Emmaline in one yet. But I would learn how to drive first, because Anderson had left home earlier that morning and Leila wouldn’t mind if we borrowed the car. Or totalled it.

“Okay,” I said, “okay, what do I do next?”

“Shift into drive.”

I blinked down at the controls. “What am I on right now?”

“Reverse.”

I managed to shift the car into drive recalling what I’d seen in films, “You don’t have to look so nervous, we’re indestructible, remember?”

Warner sighed exasperatedly, hands tightening on the seatbelt. “Keep your eyes on the road.” I grinned and checked my mirrors, slowly pulling my foot off the brake and towards the gas. “And I wish you’d stop saying that.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because my biggest fear is that one day it’ll stop being true.”

I frowned. I took it slow, but driving on a street that no one was ever going to come down again gave me the whole road to practice. I jumped between brake and gas over and over, inching forward and trying to get the hang of it. Every once and awhile, Warner pointed something out to me, but he was as patient as he was with teaching me anything. It was easy, easier than I thought it would have been.

“I’m not going to lose my powers, Aaron.”

“No,” he agreed, “but have you considered your parents’ new project.”

I sucked in a breath and the car huffed in response. Warner didn’t looked shocked as I hit the brakes to look over at him. He looked worried. “Project Canary. Emma’s losing her mind over it.” I said.

“I know, I heard.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me she’s bothering you about it too.”

“When she can’t call you she calls me, I’ve told you this before.” He tucked his chin and looked down at the watch affixed to his wrist. “Emmaline is just worried about you, love.”

“Of course she is, because if they can get through me it means she’s next. I don’t blame her.”

“Ella.”

“It’s true!” I shrugged, “You know it, I know it. I reckon if Canary succeeds, then I’ll be the only one affected. Well, and you, probably.”

“Probably? You can’t be serious.”

I sighed dramatically, shifting gears and turning us around back towards the house. I knew he was staring at me, I could feel it burning under my skin. If he was offended by the truth that was his problem. Not mine.

“If something happened to you,” I wasn’t watching his face, but I heard the way his breath caught in his throat. A chill settled around me as I waited for him to continue. “I would be devastated. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, sure, of course.” I snipped back.

“Ella, I’m serious.”

Too much, too heavy. I nodded in an attempt to get him to drop it. Warner was my best friend, but God if he didn’t make everything out to be life-and-death. Though, technically, this situation could very well end in my untimely death. It didn’t matter. He was serious all right, far too serious. And I didn’t want to think about the immediate future, not like he did.

-

I loved motorcycles. More than cars, planes, especially boats. Nothing else could get me in contact with the same level of speed as the motorcycle could. I wondered a lot if it was anything similar to drugs, Mum and Dad would have me caged again if I experimented with anything that could mess with my brain or my body. So, death defying activities was all I had.

But I had to drive carefully, Kenji’s arms wrapped around me so tightly I had to focus on the wind whipping my hair to not break down at the feeling of being barred.

I hadn’t been lying about the helmet comment, as far as Kenji knew I was talented in hand-to-hand combat and could most likely kill someone if they just so happened to brush my skin. He had no way of knowing that a motorcycle crash was much more likely to hurt whatever I crashed into then myself. When I’d first embraced my daredevil tendencies, Warner had insisted that I wore protective garments, riding jackets and enforced padding. We hadn’t known the full extent of how much damage I could sustain. We found out though, eventually.

I came to a stop in a place where the road evened out and the buildings had grown scarce. It was strange, Southern California had always been overflowing with populace and new houses that the large expanse of nothingness was almost unnerving. I pushed those thoughts from my head and removed Kenji’s hands from my waist.

He attempted to climb down with me, but I steadied him on the bike with a smile and said, “I’m teaching you how to ride remember?”

“I never said I wanted to learn how.”

“Yes, but you also never said you didn’t.” I placed my hand on the handlebar, about to launch into a speel about what each part on the bike did, until I noticed he was staring at me strangely. “What?”

“I’m curious. What brought this on?”

“Me teaching you how to ride a motorcycle? I was bored, wanted to ride my bike, and you’re supposed to follow me everywhere I go.” I paused, sardonic in nature. “Thus, here we are.”

Kenji looked back at me as if he didn’t believe me, and I had to give him credit, he was a lot more intuitive than he had appeared at first glance. It wasn’t as if I was lying. I was currently trying to use enough of the truth that he’d have eventually just have to believe that my intentions were pure. It’s not as if I had given him any reason to believe otherwise. Beside the fact that I work for a fear mongering government that treats its citizens even worse than the ground they walk on.

I might have to rethink my plan of action.

“Okay,” I huffed. “Clutch is here, gear shift is down here, throttle, and break. You’re ready to go.”

“Wait, hold on a second, that’s the big lesson? You point at all the controls, pat me on the back and say ‘Good luck.’ You’re the worst teacher in the history of ever.”

“Jesus, that’s a little harsh.”

“Never have kids.” He said with a straight face, “You’d try to teach them how to ride a bike and then just throw them straight into oncoming traffic.”

I groaned, “Newsflash you egg, traffic isn’t as issue anymore. The 405 is dead and I’d be a great mum.”

Kenji didn’t move as he held his humorless expression. As the silence dragged and we continued to just stare at one another, something cracked. I wasn’t sure if I was the first to snort, but giggles erupted from my lips until I was crumpled on the ground holding my stomach from laughter. Kenji wasn’t much better, he had to use to the motorcycle to hold himself upright as he practically hacked up a lung.

I was wiping tears out of the corners of my eyes when Kenji finally said, “All right, that was hilarious. But I’m still not riding this death trap with a ten second long instructional period.”

“Just,” my voice was still strangled with restrained giggles, “trust me here.”

“You don’t make that easy.”

But he listened and settled on the bike like before, keeping one boot on the ground to stabilize himself. I corrected his form and I watched as his eyes darted nervously around the open field. I couldn’t say I completely understood his nerves, I’d never had to really worry about bodily harm before. With that, I had the sudden realization that this was a terrible plan, and if it failed it would really suck to have to drive home with a dead body. Or, even worse, have to walk.

“Ready?” I asked honestly.

He didn’t in the least bit look ready. At least he knew how to brake.

Kenji gave a curt nod and I stepped away from the bike, giving him room to start the engine again and prepare for take off. The motorcycle gave a growl that I felt in my chest, that made the hair on my arms stand up, and as Kenji gave me one more glance before staring at the opened, empty road before him. I gave a silent prayer to a God I don’t believe in.

The motorcycle lurched forward, shakily and slow it made its way down the street. A couple of times I worried if it was going so slow that the machine might tip over, but at every chance Kenji shifted his weight to keep it steady. It wasn’t until he turned around and came back towards me that I saw he had a genuine smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes, he was going barely more than 20 miles per hour.

“All right. It’s not a vespa.”

He hit the brakes as he neared me and the sudden stop made him ram his stomach into the center console. Kenji took a shaky breath but his voice was only a little winded, “What’s a vespa?”

“Oh my God.”

-

Our bedroom was cold. It was the middle of July and from the window I could see the moon against the cloudless sky. It was the only thing lighting the room. For once I was happy that snow hadn’t come so early this year, because if it had then I wouldn’t be able to see the moon at all. I clung tightly to my blanket knowing that it was my only protector, that would stop the dark corners of the room from getting any closer to the foot of my bed.

I had been working very hard to not let it bother me, to sleep through the night without interruptions or nightmares. If Emmaline could do it then so could I. But it seemed like the harder I pushed away the negative thoughts, the stronger they came back with a vengeance. And the more they stole my breath straight from my lungs. I knew what panic was now though, I’d felt it before. It kept rising and rising like the temperature on a thermometer. Until my head started to feel dizzy and my chest began caving in.

What was it that Warner always said? Try to breathe.

Easier said than done.

At this point I should’ve been used to any form of sensory deprivation. Nothing to see, or hear, only the cold walls of the room that remind you that you’re not dead. Or asleep. Or somewhere in the middle. Mr. Anderson would turn down the oxygen in the room if I tried to fall asleep. It would go on for hours. But it always ended, sometimes I was worried it wouldn’t.

Little bird, little bird in a gilded cage. With spikes on the bars. Little bird with no escape.

“Ella,” my sister’s voice whispered across the bedroom. “Ella, go to sleep.”

I froze. My rampant neverending thoughts must have woken her up, or at the very least kept her from falling asleep. I wasn’t quite sure what Emmaline could hear and what she couldn’t. But if I hated being in my own head, then surely my sister would despise it just as much. “Sorry, Emma.”

She sighed, rolled over. I felt my face burn with shame. “No worries, just…“ Her soft words disappeared into the cloud of dark that blanketed over her half of our bedroom. We’d been sharing a room since I was born. At least that’s what I had been told. But now the sea of carpet between the two of our beds felt wider and all the more terrifying under the gaze of the moon. I had to steel myself. I couldn’t be weak, I couldn’t whimper at the idea of closing my eyes, what would Mum say?

“Ella. Come here.”

I looked over to Emmaline’s moving sheets. I could barely make out her motions across the room. But I didn’t give it a second thought. I bundled the blankets around my body, grateful for the socks that covered my feet, and I tiptoed over the lie to Emmaline’s side of the room. Where pink met purple.

Emmaline was waiting patiently with arms outstretched. She pulled me and my blankets up onto the sheets with her, and that’s when I noticed the long sleeves pajamas and the gloves. How had she been wearing gloves to bed? Emmaline pulled my head to her shoulder and hugged me tightly. I wished I could see her expression. I wished I could read her thoughts for a change. My panic spiked once more.

“Calm down,” Emmaline yawned. “Give it a rest.”

“S-Sorry.”

It was dangerous to be this close to my sister. It was dangerous to be around anyone, ever. This was my curse. My burden. Mum called it a gift, she said it made me special. But I had to work harder, so I could be just like my sister. Mum would kill me if anything happened to Emmaline. She’d actually kill me.

“Shhh, go to sleep.”

“I-I…”

My sister’s finger combed through my hair. I closed my eyes against her pillow.

“Sleep, Ella. You can worry about things in the morning.”

She was right. I knew somewhere deep down that she was, but a part of me refused to accept it. It seemed like no matter what I did, my worries would follow me into my dreams too. I focused on Emmaline’s breath, her heartbeat, the slight brush of my hair from my forehead. It made me crave the blurry memories of climbing into bed with Mum and Dad, falling asleep in the safety they provided. Now it didn’t feel safe to be near their wing of the house, or even near them.

“I don’t want nightmares.” I whispered back to her.

Emmaline paused. If I paid close enough attention I could feel the edges of her power just on the cusp of my consciousness. If I dared to push against it all I would feel would be numb. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal.”

I blinked my eyes opened, “A deal?”

“Sure,” she pinched my shoulder. “If you try to sleep, I promise I’ll chase all the bad dreams away.”

It was far too dark in the room for me to see the look on her face. I couldn’t even tell from her tone if she was messing with me. I was a bit too old to believe that anyone could chase away my bad dreams, especially when they had been formed out of reality. But then again, Emmaline had power over the mind. Even now I could feel her rooting herself in my thoughts, sharing them with me, but blocking me from following that path back into her own head. It was a one way trip, or so she said.

If anyone could get rid of the nightmares, actually get rid of them, it would be Emmaline.

“All right.” I said.

She nodded once into the dark, “Close your eyes, then.”

I did as she asked. A moment passed, but in the moment the darkness of my eyelids didn’t feel constraining, like I was being pressed against the walls of a prison. It felt almost calm. Like a purring cat under my bare fingers, enjoying the feeling of my touch. It felt like I was back in North America, tucked into familiar sheets, pressed against the side of someone else. But only for a moment.

And then I opened my eyes and Emmaline was gone.

I sat up, wrapped in pink sheets, and stared across the room to the bed I had fallen asleep in. Purple sheets as pristine as if they had never been slept in at all. I should have figured. That kind of comfort and safety could only last a night.

-

Kenji wasn’t confident enough to drive us back, and I wasn’t entirely confident he could either. So, I drove the motorcycle to the compound, stopping myself from taking any unnecessary risks, least Kenji never go on another adventure with me again.

As much as I loathed to admit it, my plan was almost certainly backfiring. I was having fun just making friends with someone new. Socializing wasn’t exactly a skill I excelled in and the fact that Kenji almost didn’t seem nervous to get on the back of the bike with me after spending the afternoon in my company made me feel better than I had in awhile. There was a churning afterthought though, that if he wasn’t who he said he was, if Warner was right; then Kenji would die by my hand. There was no way around it.

Or so I told myself as we parked in the hanger.

I shot a scathing look at the soldier who carted off my bike, knowing they would take care of it, but trying to retain the menacing aura I had accumulated before I started letting myself go soft. Maybe Warner was right and I really should go back to training in the mornings.

It was only a second later as I turned to speak to Kenji that I felt a thrum of energy go through my body. The sensation stilled me to my core, even my lungs refused to take in oxygen as my brain scrambled for concrete meaning. I knew this feeling and I knew it well. My body restarted.

“Kishimoto,” my voice was harsh, “you are dismissed.”

“But--”

“Now, soldier.” There was a bite at the end of my words that I hadn’t ever used in conversation with him before. He registered this and, probably with some sense of betrayal, turned on his heel and marched away from the hanger. I hoped he was fast enough.

When my ability had first manifested, there were a lot of things going through my five year old head. And still it wasn’t anywhere near as complicated as Emmaline’s own mind. My sister, being a year older than me, took it upon herself to compare us in everything. Even before our powers. Shockingly, she wasn’t so far off when it came to this over everything else. Our abilities were simultaneously complete opposites and so similar that they could not be recreated in any test subjects. Though it wasn’t from lack of trying.

I could feel the energy of living things. Around me were spools of thread that tied back to every living creature, I could feel their hearts pumping, I could sense the electricity beneath their skin. By extension, Emmaline was connected to life through their minds. She had her own network that she organized and colorcoded, more orderly than my own, efficient. But our largest connector remained each other, and it was at that moment that I felt my sister’s ability wrap itself around me. As if it wanted me to know she was here, listening in to the private confines of my head. So, I did what any little sister would do.

I immediately thought back to the last time Warner’s lips were on mine, the heat of our breath as I undid the buttons of his shirt. I let my eyes close as the memories washed over me, leaving a singing fever in their wake.

Emmaline withdrew faster than a bat out of hell.

“That was rude.”

I heard her before I saw her. My eyes blinked opened tentatively as I watched my sister walked down the stairs into the hanger. Soldiers stopped, if only for a moment, to stare and wonder. Emmaline looked a lot like our mother. Her hair was two shades darker than mine and always laid flat down her back, her face was older, wiser. And she wore that red lipstick that Mum liked.

It was hard not to think of that woman when I looked at her. “What, like looking through someone’s head? Tell me, is that real rude?”

She rolled her eyes, “You’ve made your point.”

“Have I?”

When she stepped down from the last stair a smile appeared on her face, out of nowhere. And then she held her arms open towards me. I noticed the sleeves of her coat, the collar of her shirt that covered her neck, the gloves that seemed to permanently cling to her hands. This wasn’t a last minute decision, my sister had come to Sector 45 with the full intent to see me.

I tried to walk calmly towards her. I’m pretty sure I failed.

Emmaline hugged me. She squeezed my shoulders and rocked us from side to side like a dance. It wasn’t appropriate, to be so excited to see each other, if our mother was there she would have chastised us greatly. But Mummy dearest wasn’t there, and we could do whatever the hell we wanted.

“This is a surprise,” I said as we pulled away.

“I told you I’d be visiting shortly.”

“Actually, you asked if you could visit and I never got back to you.”

Emmaline huffed as if I’d greatly inconvenienced her, “Doesn’t matter. It’s not as if you’re busy, hiding out from our parents and what have you.”

“They know where I am.” My eyes narrowed on her as a mischievous smile inched its way onto her face. “Mum does know where I am, right Emma?”

“Oh, she could guess, but I’m afraid she’s preoccupied right now.”

I held my breath. No wonder I’d been left alone for almost a month. Emmaline was covering for me and with her powers no less. It was starting to get scary how easily she could deceive the people that more or less ran the world.

“And what was your excuse for flying out here?”

Emmaline glanced at me, her lips upturned in a smug expression that made her lipstick seem darker. The color of blood. “I’m allowed holidays just like you.”

There was a palpable moment of tension between us that shattered with a clap of my sister’s hands. She turned on her heel and made her way back towards the stairs. I followed, just as she had expected me to do, and I watched as her hair flew behind her like a black veil. Nothing was different about Emmaline from the last time I had seen her, but I knew my sister better than that. She wasn’t a consistent person in the least.

She had plans. Always.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friend?”

I met her eyes as she glanced back at me, “Didn’t think you’d be interested.”

Emmaline hummed to herself for a moment before we entered the main hallway. She let me move to take the lead as I headed for the nearest elevator. It was just around dinner time now, the sun had already begun it’s decline over the ocean. Well, it would’ve anyways, if it wasn’t for the clouds hiding it. And I was starved from messing around in God knows where for hours.

“Y’know, sis,” she spoke finally after the elevator doors closed. “You can’t exactly lie to me.”

I gritted my teeth.

“And I’m not just saying that because I can read your mind. What, can’t trust me now? Especially when you’ve decided on making friends with someone you think is working for the rebellion.”

“Hush up,” I hissed.

The elevator was still steadily moving up towards the higher floors. That left us with little time left to speak with the comfort of not being recorded. Once we were out in the open, anyone could overhear us and report back to Anderson, Kenji would be as good as dead.

“I don’t know for sure.”

Emmaline scoffed.

“I don’t. Doesn’t matter, I just don’t want you rooting around in his head while I’m trying to do my job. Because if he is with the rebels, then maybe he can lead me to that base.”

“The base Anderson’s on your ass about.”

The doors open, “That’s the one.”

We walked in silence towards the dining room. There was something strange and familiar about wandering these halls with my sister beside me. Maybe it reminded me of when we were children, I scrunched my nose. Emmaline and I hadn’t wandered the halls together when we were little. We barely interacted outside of bedtimes and Sunday breakfasts. I watched her out of the corner of my eye and found her looking back at me. Her expression was blank.

Before I even opened the door to the dining room, Emmaline groaned from beside me. I felt a tinge of a smile make its way onto my lips before I waltzed inside, emulating the grace of a person with the ball in their side of the court. If she was going to be confrontational or then I simply wouldn’t let it get to me, Emmaline could whine all we wanted but this was still Warner’s sector.

A telepath and an empath walk into a bar… I’d hate to hear the punchline.

Emmaline hesitated by the door as I swept inside to take my usual seat beside him. He barely spared a glance at my sister, before turning to me, his side of the table devoid of paperwork for the first time in weeks. I narrowed my eyes, had he heard of her arrival before I had? Most likely.

I leaned close enough to press my lips to his cheek as he whispered, “A nice surprise.” I had to stifle the laugh the built up in my throat.

As much as I liked to taunt my sister, I also found myself increasingly more demure in her presenance. My cheeks reddened and I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as I pulled away from Warner and into my own space. I caught Emmaline’s eye as she, now quiet for the first time since I’d seen her, sat down carefully beside us. I braced myself for whatever she was reading, whatever she could feel.

“Don’t stop on my account.”

My nerves blew out of my lungs in an instant. Warner brought a water glass to his mouth rather enthusiastically, he was hiding a grin. I could rest easy knowing that this dinner wasn’t going to be a normal Emma-Aaron staredown, where I was placed in the middle and forced to choose which one I would have to calm down first. Frankly, I found it unfair that they put me in such a position at all.

Emmaline and I had been rivals since the beginning on account of our abilites and the expectations that came with them. It made our relationship difficult to say the least, stressful and even distant. We rekindled what we could salvage the older we got, but it was hard to put the pressures our mother had forced down our throats away. Warner and Emmaline’s rivalry was different. And I couldn’t even be sure when it started. It almost felt like I had woken up one day to the both of them being at each other’s throats with no explanation other than, “Because I hate him, Ella.” on my sister’s lips.

I had my assumptions. But I certainly wasn’t going to tell them that.

“C’mon now,” Emmaline spoke first. “What have you two been up to, spare no details.”

“Is that why you came here? To catch up?” Warner raised an eyebrow and I felt his hand find mine underneath the table.

Emmaline amused herself my looking through the assortment of bottles on the table, in Sector 45 there never seemed to be a shortage of alcohol, before picking one that suited her tastes. “Why else would I be here?” She said as if there was a very obvious, very necessary reason for her to be here. Her eyes met his with something I could only describe as contempt, “To make sure you haven’t defiled my little sister?”

I felt more than saw Warner’s reaction to her words. It was like the walls turned ruby red, the air became almost stifling, but neither of the other occupants seemed to notice. No, Emmaline was reveling in my love’s discomfort. There was a gnawing dread in my stomach that colorfully plated breads weren’t going to fix. I squeezed Warner’s hand.

“Behave,” I said.

Emmaline shrugged, “I haven’t done anything that warrants punishment, Els. Even if punishment is your specialty.”

“For someone so gifted in speech, you’d think you would have learned when to shut up.”

“Bite me.” She laughed and buttered a roll.

The heat had dulled, but only slightly, and a dull blade was worse than a sharp one. I turned to Warner, who was still fixing my sister with a death stare. I raised his hand to my cheek. If I kept his attention on me, then hopefully they wouldn’t do something I would end up regretting.

“I rode my motorcycle today.”

“You did?” Distraction successful, he answered curiously.

“I missed it. We should do it more often, it wasn’t the same without you.” The room smelled like lilac. “It’s getting pretty cold out, as well, so if you want to go riding--”

“A metal deathtrap.”

“--We’ll have to go soon.” I gritted my teeth again and caught Emmaline’s gaze out of the corner of my eye. “You never have anything helpful to add, do you?”

Emmaline was watching our exchange, eyes shimmering with something that I couldn’t place. But Warner could. I could read his movements better than his facial expressions, as he tilted his body in front of me. The lilac that had misted the air had turned frigid, but hadn’t disappeared. Not yet anyways. Emmaline placed her chin on the palm of her hand.

“Still trying to find a way to break your neck?”

How dare she pretend to be innocent. “Why? Decided to give it a go afterall?” I answered.

There was an ebb and flow to the frequencies that surrounded the table. Emmaline, ever the bringer of chaos, was upsetting my natural balance. I knew she would, hypothetically, and I could handle it. Hypothetically. But what I couldn’t handle was my sister trying to infuriate the both of us at the same time. Though that was what she did best wasn’t it?

“Tell us why you’re really here, Emmaline.” Warner’s voice was serious.

I stiffened as my sister’s lazy smile faded. “You already know, don’t you?”

“Tell her, then.”

“Or you will. I’m familiar with the threat, thank you.” She rolled her eyes and the childish glee she’d been playing with from the moment she’d hugged me, disappeared completely. If I could feel emotions like Warner, I’d suspect any cheerfulness in my sister had blown away, almost like it never existed. “Project Canary.”

My blood froze in my veins.

“They’ve completed it?”

Emmaline appraised Warner’s question, “They believe they have.”

“And that’s all that really matters.” His fingers tightened their grip on my hand and I squeezed back with just as much force. I couldn't feel the rest of my body, I was grasping for anything, and had settled on my power. It covered me like a blanket, extended itself to Warner and wrapped him in it as well. It was protecting us, it would protect us. But not from that, not if they had succeeded.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Emmaline chasitied. “As if I would let them create something powerful enough to neutralize Ella. I’m not an idiot.” That was a pointed statement if I ever heard one.

“What were you doing in Asia?” How could Warner be so calm?

“Testing it, obviously.”

He leaned back, “And?”

Emmaline was silent for a long time. Long enough that I began to count. I hated counting, more than anything. As much as I loved mathematics and sciences, the theory of numbers and how they could organize the entire universe, I despised counting with a passion. Because once I started, it was almost impossible to stop. To pull myself out of that scared little corner of my head that I only fell into against my own will.

1, 2, 3, 4…

Warner’s pointer finger tapped on the inside of my wrist.

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t serious.” Emmaline continued, “I could have waited for my sister to come home to see her again, but it couldn’t wait. So, here I am.”

“Here you are.”

It was a message, it was a message and I couldn’t decipher it, but I would keep trying. For him. I focused on the feeling. The soft brushes of the pads of his fingers as they typed out a message to me and only me, heavily coded, even in his mind. Emmaline couldn’t read this, only I could. If I just--

“The Unnaturals they found in the last raid have been wiped out. Overseen by Supreme Commander Ibrahim and Mummy dearest, of course. It wasn’t a diplomatic mission, I lied, Nazeera and I watched the precessions.” Warner could no doubt see what Emmaline was recalling in her mind, “Their frequencies, their signatures, just vanished. Like they were dead.”

“But they weren’t dead, not when they disappeared.”

Emmaline nodded, “It was like a blackhole. I’ve never felt anything so… wrong.”

“I can understand that at least.” Warner went quiet again, and deep inside my mind where reality couldn’t touch me I felt all the more trapped losing that tether. I shut my eyes tightly. Without the sound of their voices, the darkness, the frequencies were consuming the edges of the room, and I could feel them sting across my skin. The hand that Warner held was the only place that cooled, like soaked in water, safe. “Love, you need to come back to us now.”

I was weak. How could I be falling apart so easily? Here the two of them were speaking calmly and I was falling apart at the dinner table. If Anderson saw me, if our mother heard--

27, 28, 29, 30…

“Thinking like that isn’t going to get you anywhere, sis.”

Warner’s free hand came up to tuck my hair behind my ear and slid down to cup the side of my face. It was like balm on a sunburn. If I could just move, then I could disappear into the circle of his arms where I would be safe, and loved, and

“Wake up, sweetheart.”

I gasped and the ticking of a clock. The numbers. The counting stopped.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to the both of them, my eyes trained on the tablecloth. Embarrassment, shame, weakness burned in my gut.

Warner stroked my temple, his eyes never left my face but Emmaline turned away and I had to restrain my own wince. My mind was not a serene place to be in at this moment, that was for damn sure. Maybe if she learned to stay out of my head then she wouldn’t read things she couldn’t stomach.

“But that wouldn’t be very fun, would it?” She mused.

Warner pursed his lips and answered her, gaze still trained on me. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Actually, I think that’s enough entirely. You passed on your information, Emmaline, go home.”

“Gladly,” she responded, “if my sister comes with me.”

“No,”

The noise was raw and strained, I wasn’t sure where it came from until I saw my sister’s eyes turn to me. There was a mix of pity and desperation in them that made me feel all the more sick to my stomach. Maybe she believed the best way to protect me was by us staying together, but if her information had solidified anything it was that I couldn’t return home. Not anytime soon anyway.

“Emma, I can’t.”

“And why not?” Emmaline stood to her full height. She towered over the table, but I could feel her unease rolling off her frequencies in waves. It had been awhile since I had fallen apart in front of her. Probably almost a decade.

“Mum, she plans to test it on me.” To my surprise, my lips didn’t quiver. “It will work.”

“And I’ll stop her.”

I shook my head. She didn’t understand, she couldn’t understand what losing my powers even for a moment would mean for me. The vulnerability that I hadn’t felt since I was a child. How stripping me of something so intertwined with my entire being would be alike to killing me. The fact that the Reestablishment could very well kill me using such an object.

I watched the warring emotions on my sister’s face as she considered my thoughts. I wished that I could read her own and understand why she would be so insistent that I return home with her. It didn’t work. Emmaline turned away from me, and away from the table, and walked back towards the door. We hadn’t even gotten the chance to eat anything. I hadn’t noticed until now.

“Els,” Emmaline called back to me. “I’ll see you in the morning. For training, yeah?”

She paused. I bit my lip, “Of course.”

And with that she nodded and left. The door slamming behind her with more force than necessary and a weight settling in my gut that I could be sure would disappear overnight. I glanced to Warner, his eyes still heavy on my face, and I found something in them that perfectly reflected how I felt. How this whole situation felt.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into the collar of his jacket. And I cried.

[palukoo]

so a couple months ago i relistened to w359 and made a 18000 word document while doing so containing iconic quotes, my reactions, feelings, et cetera. heres some highlights with varying amounts of context. (theres lowkey spoilers for the whole series btw)

""""i empathize too much""""

crazy how i still vividly remember walking outside [my old job] and to starbucks while listening to the spider ep... trauma

i mean i dont love it but it makes me feel things

GABRIEL THATS TOO ON THE NOSE

"let me have my badass space chick victory cocktail"

god like i AM team what wrong with handcuffs but I WOULD NOT HESITATE to kill hilbert for hera

the girlssss are fightinggg

THE SAD W359 MUSIC IS KILLING ME

like memoria who maxwell who jk jk

i love you renee minkowski marry me

local idiot's heart is in the right place

HARPOOOOOOONSSSS

lovelace lovelace lovelace loveLACE LOVELACE

"maybe she's some kind of clone thing" EIFFEL... this is day 1!!!

i hate these self sacrificial idiots

no no no not this music again ill cry

yall are so emotionally stunted it fucking hurts but damn if you dont care

literally how are they still alive

i want to hug her so much omg

alan rody shut the FUCK up im crying

rip zach valenti's throat

face the death reality via math

jacobi being a piece of shit

maxwell said lets kill hilbert rights

this is a kepler hate blog

minkowski thinking her emotions dont matter to the mission oh ho ho

"youre gonna straighten up" cutter they cant theyre not straight

maxwell and jacobi show up and blow up lads

"and you should really be more careful with your queen" KEPLER WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

wolf 359 stop making me stan these literally terrible people

FUNZO FUNZO FUNZO

i am caring about men tonight lads

theyre both awful sure go ahead have history

hilbert you interrupted their emotional moment they wouldve had a MOMENT

hera said im gay

ohhhh nooo interpersonal conflict makes me sad

hug minkowski rn

FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC jacobi and maxwell are iconic

minkowski how did you not kill him

how much do yall use the words "good enough" and "cant"

"are you an alien" GOD the Hints

"one of our... sexier jobs" vs "this is gonna said less sexy after that"

eiffel stop cockblocking them

y'all's choice of pronouns IS illuminating

PROTECT HERA AT ALL COSTS

aw eiffel... minkowski... communication is KEY

oh yeah THATS what the psi wave regulator is for.... SURE

hilbert read the room

JACOBI you can't just describe minkowski like that without giving me a heart attack

how many times have all these bitches almost died

SORRY ANYTHING THEY SAY I LOSE IT

oh minkowski finally flipped (VALID)

oh wait that fact isnt fun at all and im literally crying

LIKE sometimes you save someone's life at great personal risk only to kill her a little while later

minkowski cries to “back to before” from ragtime

i feel to many things about the gals here idk what to tell you i love them thats the problem

its gay and it hurts!

lovelace laughing at people who can and will kill her... hot

OH WERE STARTING LOVELACES SELF SACRIFICE ALREADY

they let lovelace say FUCK

OH WAIT NO I FORGOT ITS WORSE

THANKS FOR MURDERING ME WITH YOUR TEARY ANGRY VOICE

ouchie anyways gay or no but also gay

hilarious and sad at the same time?

MAXWELL dont be a bitch... i expect this from jacobi and honestly i actually expect this from maxwell too but i dont like it

NO NOT THIS MUSIC

BROTP BROTP BROTP

i cant say anything else im too busy crying

UGH I COULD WRITE ESSAYS ON MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS THE MESSAGE THE TAKEAWAY BROADLY THE PERSONAL EMOTIONAL ANGUISH THE DESIRE TO HUG HERA ITS

im mad but thank you... all of you... explain... 

stop stop stop im literally so tense gone straight from sobbing to freeze instinct

GOD I HATE ALL THESE SURVIVALS GUILT IDIOTS

OH theyre all about uncertainty... the what ifs... okay... ouch ouch ouch

give everyone awards for bolero

eris are you gay

she said gay rights and AI rights

like i know i know we been knew but goddard really is so awful

Hera stop narrating Lovelace’s ongoing existential crisis

HOW IS THIS NOT GAY (I know how it’s not gay but. Let me have this)

KEPLER stop giving Lovelace insecurities and existential crises

Team back off lovelace for the win

like not to be dramatic but her arc is beautiful

oh boy thats my girlsssss

THATS FLIRTING MINKOWSKI

god i love that concern for your gf keep it up minkowski

COMMUNICATION? WITH THIS CREW? BOLD

GOD angrey hera is great

you know hera is having the time of her life witnessing it

eiffel you just ruined their romantic moment

minkowski is gonna kill them

a much better gayer more altruistic light

WE’RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT COMMUNICATION

WAIT I WAS BEING CANON DAMN I THOUGHT I WAS BEING CREATIVE AND PERHAPS OOC BUT IM IN THE CLEAR I GUESS

god hera has needed to snap at eiffel for so long

i can already feel myself about to get hit with the tears... the emotions

that shit hits different renee

The implications that Goddard like destroyed global warming omfg

it’s the moral grayness babeyyy

when it hits you with minkowski's shaky sigh first thing you know its gonna hit different

MINKOWSKI i need you to. love yourself as much as i love you

GOD the mutual concern they always have for each other is touching whether or not you think its gay. i think its gay

HERA WOULD YOU ASK A COW TO NOT BE A COW

oh of COURSE they cut coms first

lovelace is man, butterfly is quote, it says "is this flirting"

jacobi i need you to chill

but jacobiiiii thats lovelaces schtick

oh eiffel... you fucking idiot who gets really lucky sometimes

this game of chicken where theyre both chickens and kepler doesnt know any of that and each of them only know half

minkowski said im an ethics teacher now

who taught minkowski empathy in high stress situations?

yeah so i stay hitting the nail on the head

“kepler SHUT UP” is what brings everyone together

this is, como se dice.... kinda gay

this statement does not bode well for that

“Maybe less talking to yourself” he says to himself

ugh, to be Pop Culture Man™️

RACHEL i love you even tho I also hate you

Rachel if you make one more hand joke I’ll lose my mind

HER NAME!!!! IS HERA!!!! And I love her!!

i have a vivid mental image of post-series eiffel doing stand up like chris fleming style 

"my crew has made it very clear through a series of looks and gestures that one more slip up and i am out, thats it, so im taking this job very seriously"

"minkowski is very overprotective in a weird, erratic way, like when your seat belt randomly locks and its like i appreciate what youre trying to do but im going 4mph in a drive way."

"so when something like this happens you have to at least consider going away for a long time and living on a cursed space station"

"you know how when maxwell and hera are talking ive never felt less needed, you know, like ‘cause you guys would be totally happy alone on a rock in the middle of a lake"

"this is the kind of body you look at and go he'd probably be ok in space without a space suit"

the whole "theater kids" video is actually him going off about minkowski

minkowski is too swole for her own good

jacobi im gonna need you to take the redemption arc more seriously

i love my crazy crazy bitches

this FUCKING music

GOD HOW DOES PRYCE JUST ALWAYS GET WORSE

she just like mutilated that man he is doa absolutely destroyed one hit ko

can you tone down the gay, sweetie

you did it you broke rachel and Goddard down to their bare essentials

GOSH shes so AWKWARD 

so damn jacobi was just IMMEDIATELY ride or die for maxwell

this is too much for my poor baby heart

pryce & carter literally are just like lets do eugenics, lets do genocide

when hera says ill pull a yall and sacrifice myself for minkowski and lovelace 

god like cant believe KEPLER got a redemption arc (well not arc but you know)

ah yes the most tragic scenes all take place at once :)

I HAD TO STOP LISTENING TO BRAVE NEW WORLD CAUSE IT MADE ME TOO CRAZYYYY

THE SCRIPT SAID IT NOT ME

i love space moms!

this fucking music ALAN RODY IM SUING FOR DAMAGES

like the document also does have a lot of like deep thoughts and meta and parallels and discussion of motivations but this is just fun random things i said