#if youre an outsider to their experiences how do u know which thing to follow?

[backinmyphase]

Just a heart broke bitch!

Synopsis. Only 24 hours passed since your ex ended it. So why did you find yourself in a club waiting for someone to fuck? Someone like Satoru Gojo?

Pairing. Gojo Satoru x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, college! Gojo, Satoru is down bad and reader doesn't know, overstím, (not mentioned but reader is on the pill), nipple sucking

Word count. 2.2k

A/N. I have never written smut before, so this is more like an experiment hehe

"Shouldn't we at, fuck! hah~ l-least have a first date?"

Gojo had that smug smile on his face as his eyes looked down at your body, inspecting the sweat that was shining from your naked chest. Behind his smugness you could see his back tense up. Just as sweaty as yours. His hair disheveled, standing up in all directions.

"S-shut u-AAAAAAh-" you gasped and couldn't keep the moan in as he made you shudder with his-

"Up."

A little context to this situation you found yourself in. You were in a shit position. A couple of hours before you sat at the table of a cafe trying to grasp what was happening right there.

"What?"

"We should break up." your, well now ex-boyfriend didn't have any readable expression on his face. "I can't do this anymore."

"What do you mean with this?" your body stiffened, no seeable reaction shown.

"I heard about how you acted in high school. About your little adventures with your friends." his look was different from before. It was filled with- "I don't want a girlfriend which is a slut. Who sucked off more men than she kissed."

Your hand gripped your glass of coffee harder. "Excuse me?"

He shook his head. "You know what I am talking about. Let's just end and forget about this relationship. It was never that good anyway."

And like that he got up and walked away.

And you really wished you got up and gave him a piece of your mind. Tell him how it really was at these parties which you were back then to young to go to. And how the guys you met there knew that. How they used that.

Tell him what kind of entitled asshole he was, to shame you for your old ways of seeking validation.

Back then you were only seventeen. And they were at least twenty one. But you were the filthy slut, who was to wild and surely not loyal enough to be in a relationship, right?

You hated how even now you just swallowed your emotions, your tears and your feeling of self worth.

Because you shouldn't be crying about such an asshole, right? Your friends, well they called themselves that, said not to sulk just search for a new one in the club. They probably told him all about your old stories. Like always when things were going good for you.

They were the only people you had, who stuck by your side. So was it really your fault that you took out your black dress, with your six inch heels?

Yes.

Because even though you wanted to deny it, you liked this boy you had dated. He was your first real relationship, shouldn't that mean something?

But it was never that good anyway, right?

While sitting and sipping champagne in this nightclub, you could already feel your common sense slipping away.

Stupid like back then, because you should know that your friends wouldn't bring you back to your home. Isn't that how you ended up in all these beds? Them doing drugs outside while you were drinking with a guy who will bring you with him, no matter what you really wanted.

You shouldn't trust those people.

It was always just drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex.

And those days were behind you. Right?

You wish you could say that. But then you wouldn't be sitting here, dressed up to forget what was really going through your mind right now. No, they weren't behind you and maybe your ex was right.

You stopped smoking along time ago. You stopped following these things that told you you were only something with them. But today was different.

You took some cigarettes that were given to you from some dude with a devious smile. Not your best move. But right now anything was better than you alone in your head.

"This seat free?"

And then there was this guy like your fate was laughing at you. This guy who had this gorgeous white hair and kind of boyish smile. Like a perfect opportunity to forget tonight.

"Yeah, no worries." you were kind of surprised at the sound of your own voice. It was raspier than usual. Like the smoke already made it's mark.

His tall frame lowered onto the seat next to you, his body facing your direction, instead of the bar. He already had this curious look. "So what brings you here alone?"

You shrugged and gave the bartender a sign as you finished your champagne. "Two more wines, please."

The bartender just nodded and fetched you your first one.

"Woah, slow down." The white haired mans expression changed. "That bad down to get wasted?"

"Yeah, well wouldn't be in a Club if not, or would I?" you looked up at his face, and now was your turn to check him out. Other than the fact that he was tall and he was insanely pretty. That was no problem, in fact it helped. But his almost concerned expression wasn't.

"I guess." He tilted his head a bit. "What's your name?"

Maybe it was the alcohol but for some stupid reason you just told him your name. And he leaned forward and whispered.

"I'm Gojo Satoru."

That wasn't ideal. While you didn't really care about your college people, he had quite a name in your college. But any critical thinking was thrown out of the window since your second shot in the last hour.

Amd as you looked at those eyes that had the for you known look in them you whispered back.

"You want to fuck?"

Yeah, your thinking really did leave an hour ago. Because you swore that you would never be in these surroundings and would never ask such a question a stranger again. But like back then you just wanted to forget.

You didn't remember what came next and how you did end up in this small apartment. All you did know that you were impatient at Gojo because he took too long to get on the bed and fuck you.

Why were there two glasses of wine on this table next to him? Were you talking to him? You couldn't remember.

You just knew that you needed something to keep these thoughts away.

"God, you are driving me crazy." he was on top of you, his hands were everywhere, touching you, heating up your body.

"So beautiful for what?" he mumbled, his naked body (wait when did he get naked? When did you get naked? Oh what does it matter...) was pressed against yours as he kissed your lips.

"I need you now." your arms now around him pressing him closer to your, trying to get your aching pulse down there closer to his.

He laughed and laid his head back. "You are acting like a dick you know that?"

"Well you might as well stick it in."

And that's how you ended up under Satoru Gojo as he bullied his far too big cock inside you.

And you could almost swear he was in love with you, with how he clashed on your teeth so messy, so hot, so starved. Like he couldn’t get enough with the way he hastily moves to press wet, open-mouthed kisses down your jaw. 

"Oh. Fuck. You are so unfair you know that?" he was heavily gasping for air, but still made sure to leave a kiss after every deep thrust inside you.

"Is that what you wanted? No more thoughts because I fuck you so good?" and he went all the way back out of you just to slam his hips back down again.

"fuck!" you almost screamed as he hit that spot inside again, holding onto his back, no more like clawing at his back for dear life. "right t-there, please!"

His head went lower with his trail of kisses until he reached your chest. "No need to beg, pretty."

Your body is slick with sweat and only growing hotter by the moment; the sound of his rough panting coupled with the occasional whine he lets out only has you panting more.

And he has the nerve to go faster while thrusting inside you. Making you see stars as he kissed your nipples, sucked on them, made out with your chest.

"Satoru!" you moaned, you couldn't do anything else. "You are killing me!"

And even though you were far gone and overstimulated to the moon you could feel his cocky smile at your chest. And he didn't even consider slowing down at your plead, no he more seemed proud of himself making you so fucked out.

How is he fucking you like his life depended on it, couldn't he get tired? Every lasting slap! at your walls had you gasping for air, while he had to close his eyes at how your walls clamped down around him and sucked him back in.

Was this heaven?

"Are you close?" he was out of breath while he stopped sucking for just a second and you would be lying if you said you didn't want him to just continue.

"Yeah, please keep going."

"What did I say about b-begging?" he moaned again. " I'm getting closer myself. Where do you want it?"

And for some dumb reason you screamed-

"Inside!"

And he did. You felt the hot spurt inside you, filling you up, making you feel so full. And yet he didn't stop, no still helped you to reach your high.

And you couldn't help how his frantic hits against your core caused your toes to curl and your back to arch further than ever before as you’re slowly being brought closer to your tense, and awaited edge. “Cumming, cumming!”

"Yeah, just let go for me..." his voice was low amd his face suddenly no longer on your chest, but so close to your own. "Cum for me, pretty girl."

"Ooh... Ah!" it was almost embarrassing how hard you came. But you needed that at this day. Maybe it was far more embarrassing how you were asleep five seconds later.

"Fuck, baby, you are so beautiful..."

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"Want a glass of water?"

Your eyes were still sticky, the last night not fully slept away. Where were you? This wasn't your own bed.

You sat up, but realizing that your head would spin and push you down before you could steady yourself. And as you looked up you saw him.

And you remembered what had happened yesterday.

"Wouldn't hurt." he answered himself and sat down next to your, heavy, heavy body and somehow lifted your back so you sat. Bringing the water to your lips.

"Drink so you don't throw up on me now."

You just obeyed him and sipped on the cold water, that went down your aching, dry throat so deliciously. You downed it in one sip.

"That's right." his hand went up and down your back soothing. "You and I had maybe too many drinks yesterday."

And then you realized the situation.

You were sitting here. On the bed of a stranger. With still no clothes on. As you drunkenly followed him into his apartment. What was wrong with your brain?

"Thank you." you took the glass from him. "I'm alright now."

He had that soft smile and something inside it punched you inside your gut.

"Alright I'm doing breakfast now." he stood up and looked amused as you hid yourself under his covers. "You can come when you're ready."

And like that he was out the door. Breathing began to be so much easier. You had to find a way out of here. And quickly, before this was becoming more awkward than it should.

What were you thinking yesterday? Fucking Gojo Satoru of all people? You just proved the point of your ex. You really were a slut.

Your things were all around the room, probably disgarded in the act yesterday. Picking them up and dressing yourself in them again felt nasty, like last night was sticking onto you.

You opened the door and looked around to see the exit. And there it was. The wardrobe with your shoes. You tiptoed there, softly.

"Leaving already?"

You turned around to a Gojo Satoru leaning against the doorframe of the supposed kitchen. He looked amused and had one eyebrow raised.

"Well, yeah... I completely forgot about it, but I have some things to do..." you fiddle with your shoes impatiently.

"Alright, should I bring you home?"

"NO!" You cleared your throat. "I mean- there is really no need."

He shrugged. "If you say so. But be safe and drink at home again."

You nodded and with that you were out.

You didn't remember your old one night stands to be that open and smily. No, they just told you how to leave and slept through the morning, while snoring.

Your phone vibrated inside of your bag. And you could see a message of a new number.

Satoru <333

Hey, get home safe!

Oh and we exchanged numbers yesterday, if you don't remember.

You couldn't help but feel guilty, but you left him on read. Why did he message you? Why was he so nice to you like he wanted to get to know you.

How could you tell him, that you just used him as a good fuck?

[sewinrat]

Yk the older sis hcs u did ??

Well i was wondering if u could write an kind of "what if" scenario where instead of luther waking up so damn late and stopping robert from getting killed what if instead she woke up and stopped ANY of the rats from getting killed and kept them as pets and started absolutely spoiling the ratmen

How would the rats and the other ivories react to this? :3

Awe this would be so cute if you ignore the fact that she is technically capable of watching them suffer in pain but she won't.

You hear a baam from outside your bedroom and sigh out, "Oh dear..." Standing up from your desk and stopping you from whatever you were doing, you went out of your bedroom. Walking down one of the hallway where the noise was coming from, you were met with Nyen cleaning out the inside of a ratman. Your nose scrunched up in displeasure and took out a spray bottle. "Nyen," you called out. Said cat flinched at the sound of your voice and turn around hesitantly.

Approaching him with the bottle in hand as he slowly backs away. Holding up the spray bottle you asked, "What did I tell you about murdering pests inside the halls?" You spray him. He hissed and his ears lowered either from distaste and mad. However he's not mad at you, he's mad at himself for not cleaning it faster. "Now shoo. I have things to deal with." He doesn't want to but he has no choice to obey so he went away grumbling.

After making sure he's gone, you then crouched down in front of the dead ratman, "Oh, you poor thing.. I'll fix you right up." You took his body in your arms, and bring him to your room where you'll be fixing all of his organs. Once you're done, you put something of yours on him to let everyone know that he now belongs under your name. You put him in a big enough cage so he'll recover safe for a while. But for now, you have somewhere to be. Sensing another chaos happening near the kitchen, off you go quickly before another one dies of Nyen. Sighing, you shook your head as you're walking at fast speed mumbling, "I know that Luther is stressed but doesn't mean that I'm not stressed from you murdering all these rats..."

Arriving in a dark room, you menacingly called out at the cat in front of you that is strangling another rat but this time with three eyes, "Nyen." Nyen immediately dropped the rat. Looks like he has learned his lesson on the last rat but that doesn't mean he's stopping. It was cat instincts. "Have you not learned?" You took out the spray bottle once again, "Bad kitty." You spray him as you uttered the words he doesn't like to hear. "Now go back to your bed," you pointed to somewhere that is not near your location or the kitchen. Nyen begrudgingly left, not wanting to push your limits. He knows how badly your punishments are so he's not wanting to experience it, ever.

After he left, you straightened your blouse and skirt, "Now, where was I...? Ah yes, the rat." Sharply turning towards the three-eyed rat who flinched, you pick him up from his collar like he was a cat... Ironic. "Stay still. This wouldn't hurt a bit," you imprinted your mark on him and now he's part of your pets. You let go of his collar, "From now on, you belong under my name, got it?" To which he nods rapidly, probably relief to not die. You walk off with nothing else to say. The ratman hesitates in following you but figured he'd try because technically he belongs to you so he's safe right?

You found Nyon on the ground and help him off the ground, dusting anything off. "Nyon, I'm gonna need you to find one of the rats and bring them to me. Use force, okay dearie?" Nyon trembles a bit but nodded obedient. You pat his head and send him off to find one of the rat.

In one of the kitchen you saw Randal and his pet accompanied with another scared ratman, this time in a sailor outfit. Calling out, "Randal dear! Would you be so kind to bring that rat to me?" Said creature perked up at the sound of your voice, you can hear him excitedly say sure and immediately dragged the - squirming - rat to you. The three-eyed rat behind you, hides his body using your figure from behind. "Good boy, Randal. I'll reward you later but now I need to do this," You put your mark on the squirming rat, to which he struggles more - not understanding what's happening. You sighed and told Randal to hold the sailor outfit rat down and to sit down while you search for the others. Randal nods eagerly and drag both Sebastian and hold the rat tightly in his hold. The three-eyed rat sweat dropped but doesn't make a comment in order to not trigger the happy boy with glasses.

It didn't take long to find another one. You found a rat with a crying eye hiding and you grab the hand that holds a weapon and took it away, "You should know better that I know every part of the house. Now be a good boy and stay still." He didn't however and instead continue to struggle. This makes you irritated but you managed to stay calm and took out a tranquilliser. You put the dart in his neck, and slowly he started to cease his squirming, making it easier to put your mark on him. Bringing him to Randal to also hold the 'crying' rat down in case he wakes up.

That leaves one more rat, you thought. It might take long because Nyon isn't physically capable in comparison to Nyen but he can manage. Looking over at Randal rambling to your rats with Sebastian looking pitifully at the three of them. You figured that you can cook for the family. Standing up and grabbing your apron, you get started. Making a perfect portion of food for your family while making a slightly larger portion for your rats.

It took a while but Nyon came back with an aggressive ratman that's wearing circular glasses who's trying to attack Nyon even if technically he's weaker. "Good boy, Nyon," petting the Nyon who enjoyed the pats that can make Nyen jealous, you grabbed the newest rat addition by the collar and immediately put your mark on it. "Oh! Before I forget," you snap your fingers and Jeff showed up with the ratman with a long nose from it's containment in his hold. Jeff put the ratman down on one of the chairs upright. "Thank you Jeff, you can go now," snapping your fingers once more and Jeff is gone.

"Now, all of you ratmen are now under my name. That means you can stop stealing our food. All of you better sit down and eat, okay?" With the threat lacing the last word, all the rats scrambled to take a sit at the table while Randal is just excitedly rambling to everyone about how good your cooking is. "Nyon, go get Nyen and interrupt my brother's sleeping. I'm sure he'll be needing my food when he sees the mess," you can see Nyon nods and leave the room as you put out the dishes to everyone present.

Soon, Nyon came back with Nyen and your brother, Luther who almost fainted at the sight of the ratmen before you explained that they now belong under your name. To which, he has no choice but to accept it. So they all joined in on dinner. Although the ratmen are hesitant on eating because they thought it might be a trick to poison them. All of them seem to also glance at each other, especially at the 'crying' ratman. However to no viewer's surprise, the one to eat it first is the rat wearing the sailor outfit who complain about being too hungry to care. Seeing as he's not dropped dead, they all then eat it slowly besides the sailor ratman. They were so cute so you gave each of them a pat on the head, some even lean into it. Slowly but surely they accept everything that's happening.

Randal whined out about wanting a head pat too since he helped in keeping them in check! Sebastian would rather not have you touch him but he can't have a say in it or anything for that matter. Luther can't say he doesn't mind you starting to like the ratmen but he can't stop you. However, he will try to cut the time if you are spending more time with them than your family. After all, family is important♡

Nyen is seething. He doesn't like that the ratmen are now part of the family. While he won't kill them, in front of you that is, he'll torture them more than with Nyon. Speaking of, Nyon is just there. He doesn't mind and he doesn't question your decisions. Plus, he might have a friend in the house with one of the ratmen.

In the end, all of you enjoyed the food you made. The company however? That's 50/50.

[sunghoonmyprince]

BERRIES✨- P.SH

You and Sunghoon were a Happy living couple....

That's what the others said...

You both met in a cafe, you were there to take a break from your regular studies and to have time for yourself and Sunghoon was there to meet his friend but that was the time when he first laid his eyes on you. After few months he asked you out and you said yes to him.....

But that was a clear mistake , actually you were too innocent to know that Sunghoon was a Psychopath......

you were innocent and fragile as a flower and that benefitted him, so he started controlling you and started to get you distanced from your family, friends and the world outside.....

Even tho he was a psycho but still he never punished you or hurted bcz you are so fragile that with just a harsh touch you can be broken

All you now got was him and whenever you asked why can't you go out he would get mad or else would say that

"it's not safe for you outside my love and I'm just protecting you"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a beautiful weather outside, Sunghoon was at work. So, you decided to make a berry pie for him as he always says that he loves it...

You checked the Refrigator and you were out of berries so you decided to go out in the forest and get some berries

Even tho you were forbidden to go there but you thought that you weren't going anywhere , just going to get berries

You opened the back door and when you stepped outside you felt the cold air brushing your skin, your hair lightly fluttering in the breeze. It was a nice experience to go outside after such a long time

You were innocently jumping with joy just like a cute bunny hopping outside and when you got to the berry tree you started plucking fresh berries......

_______________________________________

Sunghoon opened the main door as he just came back home from work

He was tired already today and called out your name but there was no response he called again still no response , he got to your room to check if you were there but there was no one.....he started to panic and quickly got to the entrance and saw that your shoes weren't there

He started running outside and saw your footprints which were leading to the backside forest

He thought that you are running from him and decided to follow you....

Meanwhile you were happily jumping around the forest

You saw a pretty flower there and decided to take a look closer while you were staring at the pretty flower you felt two hands gripping your waist harshly and then heard his voice which was full of.....Anger

he turned you around at looked at your eyes with rage

You were scared cuz u never saw him getting this nas before.....you weren't even knowing that why was he angry..

He took your wrist and pulled you back towards home, his grip on your wrist was tight that it will leave red marks on it

He opened the door of your house and straight up got u to the basement, it was scary in there

he starting tying you hands with chain as you panicked and started screaming and struggling to get out

Then he slapped you really harsh and said

"SHUT UP!! How dare you tried to run from me ? Do u think you are that smart ?!"

He took a knife from the cupboard in the left and started unbottoning you shirt's first 2 button and when you said that what is he doing ? he told you that he's going to carve his name in you to make you remember that you are his

you struggled to got out but nothing work and then you felt a sharp pain in your collarbone area and saw that he's carving his name on it

You started crying and screaming for him to stop but nothing worked this was all done for a good one hour until you fainted...

When Sunghoon saw that you fainted, he stopped and admired his work and left you there all alone in that cold basement

He got to upstairs locked himself and started breaking things and getting his anger out in any way he can

~~~~~~~~~~~AFTER 2 HOURS ~~~~~~~~~~~

you opened your eyes and felt sharp pain in your whole body , tears started to well up in your eyes but after sometime you managed to get up

You got to the basement door it was unlocked , He didn't locked

You got to upstairs weakly, got to the kitchen and started completing making the pie you were making for Sunghoon

After some minutes you made it and decorated it with writing 'Sorry' on it

You took the pie which was looking so delicious and it's smell was so tempting

You searched for him and found that he was in his room

You knocked on it couple of times but it didn't opened , so you knocked on it a one last time and it opened revealing a Sunghoon who was still mad at you

"Why are you here? You should be in the basement dont you know?"

he yelled at you which made you flinch , you looked down on your feet feeling scared and weakly whispered

"I'm s-sorry hoon , I was there t-to pluck berries s-so that I can make a p-pie for you"

Realisation hit him and he felt guilty for that he took the pie from you placed it on the table and tightly hugged you , you started sobbing and he started calming you down he said sorry for a million of times , placed kisses all over your face and took you to cuddle on the bed

And that's when he got to know that he punished you just bcz of a misunderstanding

After that day he never even yelled at you bcz if he did , it reminded him of that day

He started treating you like a princess you are..

okk so that's it and thank for your request @stacey-stonem and please y'all can send requests whenever you want I won't say no to you guyz . Love y'all <333✨❣️

[skylardoesthings]

PLEASE DOOOOO drop more or elaborate your hcs I'm starting to feel the eiliea illness creeping back up so might as well (the illness was never gone in the first place) also just realized your blog title. handshaking u on that we are in this asylum together 🤝 - @kumagorosh

LMFAO??? Yeah guys, im ill abt these guys, its funny that theyre not my favourite characters though.

Anyways i hope you like my insane ramblings, this is gonna be REALLY long so, you can see em all under the cut 👍

For the "in go, to the public Kiyama is Kira Hiroto, to his friends and family, hes Kiyama Tatsuya" hc, the reason why they found out his name is Tatsuya is because of Touko. No one knows how she found out, all they know is that one day during summer she appeared, saw Kiyama and went "HEY TATSUYA!" And watched him panic,

Inazuma Japan noticed that Kiyama and Mido sometimes tend to not answer them whenever they say their names, so they would say their alien names. When the two do reply by their alien names, they would yell "WRONG TRY AGAIN!" bc they are Not Gran and Reize anymore and they have to learn to not reply to those names

As for "The reason why InaJap was so nice to kimido was because of Dark Emperors" hc, it sorta came to me out of the blue while rewatching s3, Mido and Kaze are good freinds despite aliea and my hc is that is the reason why everyone warmed up to them – if DE didn't happen, Kaze wouldn't feel like he understood what Reize had to go through ans that feeling of inadequicy that followed them, if this makes any sense. (Note; if DE didn't happen, they would've either A. Not even be a part of InaJap or B. Be a part of it and get treated like outcasts, kinda like Fudou.)

Also all the sun garden kids, areori or og, knows how to fight btw. Og sun garden is just, better and stronger because of the Aliea Meteorite

ALSO BTW. This is game canon but like, aliea???! Is so fucked up in the games? Like Seijirou rlly was going to sell those kids as weapons of war and we went "wow, normal IE stuff." And Garshield too. Like what the hell

Anyways back to the hcs; Demonio, Kiyama, and Ronijo are friends! "How so?" You might ask, its the child experiments.

Prominence is very used to the heat and prefers it, they hate the cold.

Diamond Dust player, menawhile are the opposite, whenever it snows Hitomiko always has to remind them that they're human and need to be warm, so "Don't go outside without gloves or jackets–!" And they absolutely hate the heat.

Ok this is just semi canon bcz mido, but Gemini Storm totally has a inferior complex.

This is dubiously canon? But all of Eisei are on given name status with each other, and for the og cast, they're still a bit to awkward (well, more like strangers) with each other to do that, but in go they totally call each other by their given names

Ok now for my hyper specific hc where i have no idea where this came from but its something i like and kept

Reina is a psychologist! Maki is a nurse, why? Because honestly, with the way they grew up, they were probably frustrated a lot by all these different things would probably want to help themselves and others. Why them specifically? Idfk it just happened. Same thing with Mutou being a techie, Nagumo being a choach to bunch of kids (like handa in canon), and a bunch of other stuff

Ngl, my hc is that all the Kira's were probably in the spotlight post-aliea, so the hc that Shuugo probably lost a of friends when he was a kid was born,

Which takes me to the hc that he loves his friends and family. He's not ashamed to be a Kira, he holds so much pride for being one. One of his goal's for when hes an adult is to probably just make something for himself, be someone he himself could be proud of,

I honestly have ZERO idea where i got my "Kiyama sees a lot of himself in Kariya" hc, but i think it was when i was rewatching s2 and went "wow thid guy has a lot of similar mannarisms as Kariya" whenever i saw covert Kiyama+Gran

Which takes me to the, "Shuugo and Kariya are just mini versions of the aliea captains" hc, which is mostly by mannerisms. They probably unconsciously mimicked them or just adopted it into the way they do things or smthn idk. Hitomiko finds this adorable.

Ehm. Here's some of Shuugo and Kariya actually why not, mostly shuugo because... he's my favourite.

The whole "they're complete opposites of each other" bit is mostly based on my other headcanons, but also from Shuugo's recruitment needs + kariya's canon behaviour. (shuugo's talks for the both of them, and kariya in turn, insults people for fun)

Shuugo likes to fist-fight people btw, he's nice and calm, but he has anger issues, and when someone pisses him off bad he'd start fist-fighting people, which is pretty often. (Kariya in turn, gaslight people. for fun. like father like son, I guess?)

Nagumo taught both Shuugo and Kariya curse words.

Shuugo was the one who came up with the idea of Masaki transferring to Raimon (the moment he joined the soccer club, shuugo went through all five stages of grief at once)

oh yeah kariya and shuugo have a sibling-like relationship. idk if you can tell from all the previous hcs.

literally no one knew that they know each other, so one day during the match of raimon 1gun vs raimon 2gun in s1 of go, they started talking to each other post-match and everyone was just "????? since when ???" and the revelation that kariya is an orphan and shuugo knows him because his cousin(??) is the "owner" of the orphanage opened,

also because of kariya and shuugo knowing each other, the two of them (along with ichino and aoyama!) sorta become the bridge between raimon 1gun and raimon 2gun! they have a lot more joint practises and team 2 are able to play in official/friendly matches!

Also fun fact, Shuugo was supposed to have a character arc similar to Hikaru's when he was first introduced in the sequel for go s1, aka, Chrono Stone, but as we can see that never happened. Anyways, i totally do NOT have a whole ass plot and am writing a fic of this for myself. nope, Nuh-uh.

(i am, i just stopped writing it cause i got stuck with a bit I cannot write to save my life :sob:)

wow this is. really long, i am so sorry if this makes no sense, and I'm sorry in general.

[inkovert]

Writeblr (Re)-Introduction

« A B O U T »

Hello there! Call me Ink (she/her pronouns). I'm a black female writer in my late 20s. I've been on writeblr since 2018 (according to my ~ archive ~) and I've probably made a couple intros since then, but nothing quite as organized/formal as this so - here we are!

I primarily write contemporary/literary fiction (which I know isn't super prevalent on writeblr so happy to bond with any fellow litfic writers). I enjoy writing deeply introspective, character-driven stories (I think because, I'm learning, I'm a deeply inspective person lol) so if that's your cup of tea then check out my WIP(s) below :)

Links/places to find me (if you are on any of these sites, pls connect with me! I'm actively looking for other writers to follow)

Wattpad

Instagram/Twitter: @rianeblackwell (my writer pen name!)

Random things about me/how I run my blog

I'm a dual-degree bio graduate student so I spend my days pipetting shit in a lab

outside of writing, I enjoy reading (when I have the patience and bandwidth for it), watching anime (fav: fruits basket; currently watching: one piece), (guided) painting, and...sleeping?

I am ask game and tag game friendly! Though it may take me time to respond to tag games.

You will typically find me posting my random thoughts about things (tagged: inkoverted thoughts) - as I said I am introspective af so this constitutes like 90% of what I post. my writing you say? yeah we're still working on growing the gonads to post about that consistently or at all :^)

Because I have so many thoughts, I just started a writeblr discourse series called Spilled Ink (tagged: spilled ink) so that I'm not just shouting into the void and can (hopefully) have people talk back to me and share their opinions

I am always down to talk! seriously. a message in my ask box will never fail to brighten my day so come talk to me about anything and everything.

« W I P S »

Again, unlike most on writeblr (I feel like such an oddball here sometimes), I do not have a trillion WIPs to list and advertise. I'm very much the person that prefers to focus on one WIP at a time. That said, I do have one main WIP and a side-WIP that I started out of spite (and haven't touched since):

My Dearest Enemy (YA literary fiction) | WIP intro | WIP tag | read on wattpad

a coming-of-age story about a 17-year-old aspiring artist whose artwork is deteriorating as she struggles to come to terms with the death of her father a year prior. as the story unfolds she meets a series of new people who force her to contend with the bleak reality she's settled for. the emotional journey that results opens up her world, and ultimately unearths a shocking truth.

Untitled Romance WIP (Contemporary fiction) | no tag or intro just yet

a story about a black female physician assistant living a life of self-sabotage as she jumps from one unfulfilling "relationship" to another. she's been convinced, by society and past experiences, that someone as "dark" as her needs to settle for any form of affection she can get. fairly tale love stories with happy endings don't happen to people like her. But when her crush from high school who unknowingly started her streak of self-sabotage suddenly reappears in her life, she has to decide whether it's worth giving him another chance.

[secondsonaym]

The Book of Leshy - 1 [Leshy 3]

(read on Ao3 here)

-------------

It wasn’t too long of a wait before Father Edvard brought in the people he had referred to. A looming yellow skunk followed behind him, their loping pace indicative of their aged and weary body, while a few feet behind trailed a purple skunk, looking as if she had to force herself to take each step.

“Leshy, I would like you to meet Tyler and Aster.” Father Edvard explained, gesturing to each of the new arrivals in turn.

I examined them carefully, noting the scars covering Tyler’s face, and the one that crossed over Aster’s eye. Tyler also looked me over, eyes narrowing slightly before they folded their arms, not very interested.

“V-Vessel Leshy?” Aster piped up, a mix of awe and apprehension on her face. “Th-The one chosen by Lady Zuriel, the b-br-brother to the heretic--”

Tyler raised a hand, putting it in front of Aster’s face and making her fall silent. She flinched back, realizing her error, and closed her mouth, looking to Tyler to take the lead.

“A pleasure to meet the both of you.” I managed, making sure not to forget my manners. 

“So you want me to spend my time teaching this kid how to fight.” Tyler grumbled, looking to Father Edvard, who nodded.

“He is of the age where some basic defense would do him some good, and you’re the best one I can think of for the task.” Father Edvard replied.

“Father,” Tyler snorted, pinching their brow. “He is a worm.”

“U-Uh, actually, a ca-caterpill--”

“He has no bones.” Tyler interrupted, snapping a sharp look at Aster. “His anatomy does not exactly scream ‘agile,’ you know.”

“Perhaps for typical combat, but are we truly followers of Chaos if we do not adapt?” Father Edvard raised an eyebrow.

Tyler let out a sigh, closing their eyes for a moment.

“I am willing to try.” I forced myself to say, puffing my chest out a bit. I didn’t want to seem weak, or scared, in front of Tyler. I wanted to show to them I was capable.

It was a good few moments before Tyler finally heaved another sigh, setting their hands on their hips.

“I’ll see what I can do, but I make no promises that you’ll be a warrior by the time all’s said and done.” 

“Brilliant,” Father Edvard said, clapping his hands with a small smile. “I entrust you with Leshy’s potential, Tyler.”

“Don’t blame me if things don’t turn out how you want.” They replied. “Now, is that all?”

“For now.” Father Edvard nodded. “Thank you, Tyler.”

“In that case, come with me, squirt.” Tyler suddenly turned and began to head to the entrance. Aster followed close behind, only glancing back to make sure I was following--which I did with haste, barely managing a wave farewell to Father Edvard.

“The sooner we start your training, the better.” Tyler announced when we stepped outside into the clearing. “The question is… What kind of combat would you best suited for…”

That was….  Certainly quite the question. I couldn’t exactly punch or kick like most others, given my limbs were quite short. 

“Are you ever going to metamorphize?” Aster asked, a finger to her chin. “There’s definitely options if you were to become a butterfly…”

“I… I’m not sure.” I admitted. “Lee is an adult, but she’s still a caterpillar herself, and I never knew my parents, so…”

“No sense dwelling on it, then.” Tyler scoffed. “As for what can be done right now, I think equipping you for range is probably the best bet. You don’t have to worry too much about your mobility, for one.”

“So, like bows and arrows and stuff?”

“If that’s what you want to try. But there’s a few different classes of range to experiment with, like with staves or lances…”

“Those can be pretty heavy, though…”

Tyler sighed, folding their arms. “Well, we could always try to--”

It was then we all froze, hearing an eruption of shouts. We turned in the direction of the noise, and I felt my heart sink into my stomach.

“DON’T LET HER GET AWAY THIS TIME!”

“DEATH TO THE HERETIC!”

It was Lee. For some reason, she was back--Why?? Why would she make herself known, when she knew what had happened last time?

A group of people had surrounded her, screaming insults at her as she desperately looked for an escape. I had never seen her so scared before, not even when Zuriel had attacked her…

A squirrel lunged at her, pinning her to the ground. She squirmed, but was helpless against the others who swarmed in closer to kick, punch, and claw at her. I could hear my blood rushing in my ears and my fear spiked, knowing full well the crowd had no intent on being merciful.

“H-Help me stop them!!” I choked out to Aster and Tyler before rushing to the crowd, pushing my way through the tangle of legs in order to reach Lee. I could feel a few blows on my back, but I didn’t care, I just focused on protecting my sister.

A few people faltered when they saw me, unsure what to do in my presence.

“AS ZURIEL’S VESSEL, I COMMAND YOU STAND DOWN!” I hollered at the top of my lungs, just before receiving a hesitant punch from somebody. At my command, they backed off, as did the rest of the crowd, confused.

“Leshy?” Lee managed, looking up from her hunched position. “What are you--”

“I should be asking you that!” I hissed under my breath. “Why did you come back so soon??”

“Well, I--”

“Why are you protecting the heretic, Leshy?” Somebody in the crowd asked, followed by a murmur of agreements. “She seeks to stifle Lady Zuriel’s Chaos!”

I turned back to the crowd, trying my best to still my shaking body. I could see over the shoulders of a few participants that Tyler and Aster had done nothing to help, merely staring at the scenario with disinterest. So much for their assistance!

“I…” I managed, keeping my voice as level as I could. “I am working on reforming her. Teaching her the true wonders of Chaos.”

“You’re what?” Lee hissed.

“Go with it! Unless you want to die!” I returned, before raising my voice to the crowd again. “So please… Keep your distance, and leave it to me…”

Silence echoed after I closed my mouth, everyone else looking carefully between me and Lee. I was certain some of them didn’t buy it--But it’s not like they were in any position to go against me, being Zuriel’s right hand. 

Then, finally, the group began to disperse, most heading in the direction of the temple to pray. The rest hovered for a moment, still looking at me with unsure expressions. They only went to tend to their own business when Tyler and Aster approached, surprised looks of recognition crossing a few of their faces.

“You’re lucky they didn’t call your bluff.” Tyler scoffed.

“Yeah, well, you weren’t exactly very helpful.” I spat back, turning to help Lee stand up. 

“Wanted to see if you actually had a spine in there, that’s all.”

“Tyler. Aster.” Lee said curtly. “Long time no see.”

I raised an eyebrow, surprised that Lee actually knew the pair, but none of them elaborated. Perhaps it was best to not get into that at the moment, anyway.

Instead, I repeated my earlier question, “Why are you back so soon, Lee? You said you were going to be a few hours.”

“I was…” She started, giving a wary glance to the other two, before lowering her voice to a frustrated mumble. “I was looking for Haro.”

Tyler’s mouth twitched, like they wanted to say something, but they remained still. Even Aster, who kept quiet to begin with, started fidgeting with her fingers upon hearing the name.

“After they left last night, I just couldn’t get over all the stuff they said, so I wanted to find them, or at least Decarabia. No such luck, of course. Seems they only show up if they want to be found.”

“Well, if you’re done looking, you’re just in time to see Leshy start some of his training.” Tyler finally managed through a tight jaw. “We were actually discussing what weapons might be best for him, before we overheard the commotion.”

“Weapons?” Lee’s antennae sprang up straight, showing the true level of her shock. “Leshy’s--Why would he--He’s too YOUNG to--Why??”

“I want to.” I interrupted her stammering, trying to sound assertive. “I don’t want to be helpless, Lee! You’ve had to protect me for so long, and you can’t keep it up forever! I need to learn some independence! I.. I need to be brave.”

“This isn’t because of what Lady Zuriel said you to, is it?” Lee pressed, voice softening. “Because you don’t need to be brave, Leshy--I mean, you don’t need to put yourself in danger to prove you’re brave.”

“Lee, face it!” I snapped. “You literally just got attacked, and what if I’m not there next time? I don’t want people to look at you and go, ‘oh, there’s the heretic, we should kill her,’ I want people to know you’re my sister, and that they should think twice before hurting you again! I can’t do that if I’m still a weak little bug!”

Lee just stared at me, still worn down from the attack, and not really having much energy to argue with me. I could see a tired pain in her eyes, a thousand retorts being drummed up and waiting to jump from her mouth, but… After another glance to Tyler, she just sighed.

“I guess it has to be sooner rather than later, at this rate.” She said quietly. “Because frankly, even if you do become strong, it’s not like I’ll be around to help you for very long.”

I blinked, and almost asked her what she meant by that, but Tyler suddenly clapped my back, making me stumble forward a bit.

“Well, with all that out of the way, how’s about we get to what we were planning to do in the first place?” They said, forcing a smile. 

With not much else to say in protest, I gave a nod, glancing back to Lee, who was now waiting for Tyler to lead the way.

“C’mon, then.” Tyler prompted, beginning to walk once more. “I know a spot where we can try out some different things and figure out what’s best for you.”

[insertdisc5]

Devlog #13: Achievements and Q&A (one more time)

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, a timeloop RPG, which is also the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!).  You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!! 

LET’S GET TO IT. This month has Steam achievements news, and a third round of Q&As!

I’m very happy to announce… THAT STEAM ACHIEVEMENTS HAVE BEEN IMPLEMENTED!!! That’s right, the true Gamers(™) among you will get to have fun trying to 100% the game. 

But let me tell you, trying to make steam achievements work for RPGmaker was hell. I must’ve spent 3 months trying to make the (admittedly, somewhat easy) code work. Most plugins for it just use the magic sentence “refer to [someone’s plugin] for instructions on how to do it”, and guess what? SOMEONE’S PLUGIN ISN’T ONLINE ANYMORE. So I had to figure out how to make it work with the few crumbs I found on forums. And I still couldn’t make it work!!!

Thankfully, In Stars and Time’s programmer extraordinaire Isabella Ava took one look at it and figured it out instantly. And I tried it out. And it worked. And I yelled very loudly. Thanks Isabella for saving me again!!!

(pictured above: ISAT’s testing room, and steam achievements unlocking for the first time. Yes I took a screenshot and I was so happy the screenshot is a little cropped. Adds to the experience)

There’s currently 40ish achievements that can be unlocked in In Stars and Time, I hope you will have fun getting them all!!!

Overall, development is going well, from QA to localization to porting, and many things are in the works! Like, MANY things. I hope I get to share more with everyone soon because I am so excited for everyone to see what’s in store!!! Thank you for your patience!!! 

…What? That’s it for this month? Well, no. Once again, it’s Q&A time! I asked the lovely people in In Stars And Time’s discord to send me some questions! So let’s get going! (Side note, you should join the discord channel teehee) ((Everyone is anonymous this time because it’s discord. Discord names are a very private thing.))

What's everyone's favorite food/animal/both? Which character do you like or relate to the most?

I answered food some time ago, so you get favorite animals! Siffrin likes cats because of course. Isabeau might actually prefers cats over dogs but its a close one. Mirabelle is a dog person. Odile is cats all the way. Bonnie is right in the middle. Wait, that’s just cats and dogs!!!!!!

As for which character I relate to the most: Siffrin :) Closely followed by Odile!

does anyone in the main cast know magic tricks/sleight of hand stuff? if so, what kind of tricks do they do? where did they learn them?

Siffrin for sure knows some coin tricks and maybe some sleight of hand, which they’d probably learn while traveling… Being a traveler means you gotta know some of those right??? It’s part of the mystique???

I also think Mirabelle and Isabeau would know some basic sleight of hand as well, just because I can easily imagine the House of Change having this as a class… 

How do you write the name of the island east of Vaugarde? The map from devlog #10 makes it seem like it's M Wudu? (Similarly, how do you pronounce it?)

Mwudu! And as for pronunciation, hm… Maybe with a soft oo sound for the U letters in there? I wonder… (<- never pronounces things out loud)

Q: Does Odile have a massive collection of books back home? Are there certain books that she took with her on her travels, or had to leave behind? Same for Mira, if she has any books outside of her collection in the House.

I actually don’t imagine Odile having a massive collection of books, just because I imagine Ka Bue as having libraries that are easy to access… Like she definitely owns books, but not a massive collection or anything. She brought the one book with her (her weapon!) but it’s more of a notebook than a book. But also if you ask me in a month I might go "she obviously has 300 books at home"

As for Mirabelle, her room is her home, so she doesn’t have anywhere else to put her books!

are there any deaths that are random chance? if so how would that be programmed?

also. what ARE the gang's favorite books

No, not really! Mostly because it would be very fun from a story perspective, but hellish from a gameplay perspective. Dying for reasons that are just Numbers Said So and this can happen at any time is not very fun as a player! What about my sense of control!!! So, when you die in ISAT, you will know why. HOWEVER, a bunch of events are random chance <3

And Mirabelle’s favorite book is a book series called The Cursing of Château Castle. I’m freestyling for the rest of these: Isabeau would say it's some book like “How To Get Bigger Muscles For Dummies'', somehow I’m certain Siffrin’s favorite book is a memoir of some kind or a poetry book, and Bonnie’s favorite book is the current most popular comic book for kids in Vaugarde. Odile’s is a secret <3

Q: Are there any bugs you've made into features?

alternative Q: What do the characters think about freeze tag?

YES!!!!! YOUR QUESTION IS SO GOOD IM MAD I CAN’T SPECIFY HOW… PLEASE ASK ME AGAIN WHEN THE GAME COMES OUT <3 Without giving away too much, there’s a couple events in the game that are here because of a bug that I thought added a lot to the atmosphere <3

Most of the gang are adults so they do not think about children’s games. However I imagine that for most kids in Vaugarde, freeze tag is the new fun game to play. Maybe they’d call it King instead. Who’s the King? Don’t get tagged by the King or you’re gonna be frozen!!! (Bonnie doesn’t want to play tag anymore.)

what & when was your first exposure where you went: "time to make a game"? im just wondering what got you started 

would there be an official subreddit for the isat community? i dont really use reddit much anymore but its something that croessed my mind a while back and by that i mean would there be official support for it or would it just be supported by fans? 

whats your favorite track from the prologue? 

A lot of things made me start making the prologue and then ISAT, but really: boredom from the pandemic teehee.

A subreddit… That’s a neat idea!!! If enough people are into it, that’s definitely something we’d consider, so if you want that you should make some noise :3

As for tracks, I genuinely think every single track Studio Thumpy Puppy has made is a 10/10, but the King’s battle theme holds a special spot in my heart… And Long Journey too ;w; And that’s not counting the tracks from ISAT which are just All Bangers All The Time (pst go get the prologue’s soundtrack here)

1. What’s something about working on the game or the prologue that was more difficult than you thought it would be? 

The… scope… I truly intended to have both the prologue and ISAT to be very short experiences, and they became way bigger than I envisioned! I did know they were going to be bigger than I thought, but They Sure Are Bigger Than I Thought. For example, I intended the prologue to be a 30mn experience… And it ended up being a couple hours long teehee

with a scale from 1 to 10 how much will the poor guy suffer in the game

Aiming for 11 baby

You got to the bottom of this devlog! Have a Silly Little Picture, which I sent as payment to everyone on discord who sent in a question

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

[iraprince]

Heyo! Any advice on struggling to get your art seen in the world? I feel like no matter how much I post, or what I post, people never see it or seem to like it. I love art and am pursuing it as a career (hence why Im getting a degree in it currently lmao) but its kind of disheartening to work really hard on something, post it, and no one sees it.

oh, man. i'm afraid for this one i don't feel like i have a lot of solid advice. having a large-ish following online feels like something that kind of just, like, Happened to me, mostly on accident/in ways outside of my control, and even if i had some ideas on how to potentially replicate those gains i don't think they'd work consistently. (also, a lot of my large jumps in follower count came from mental health related work going viral bc it's #relatable; this is something i have complicated feelings about and it's absolutely not a viable, like, "strategy" or something that i would recommend, in the way that ppl can say like, "fanart gets attention!" or stuff like that.)

so, i don't have advice for how to actually GET those eyes on your art; i can maybe help with making ppl more likely to STAY once they do find you, and how to build a following that will actually help you maintain a living from your work -- bc i have TONS of peers w a following a fraction of the size of mine who get more jobs than me, are doing cooler/more "professional" stuff than me, etc! (heads up that most of my experience is on twitter; i know less than nothing about places like instagram + tiktok, and while tumblr functions very differently from twitter i feel like i handle things mostly the same here, aside from doing less personal posting/being less talkative and not 'networking' or following many people).

SCROLLING BACK UP TO ADD A SPOILER ALERT: AS ALWAYS I HAVE SAID "HAHA IDK I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY ADVICE" AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TYPE A FULL ESSAY. IF YOU ARE ON DESKTOP YOU CAN HIT THE 'J' KEY TO SKIP THIS POST. IF YOU'RE ON MOBILE, I'M SORRY

a very important thing, especially professionally: it HAS to be easy to see what you do. (this is easier here on tumblr, where u can have a designated art tag etc, than on twitter, which is an awful website that sucks. <- guy who makes all his money on twitter) this means, like -- if i see something from you and get curious and click your profile, it should only take one more click to quickly see at least SOME of your art. on a professional account, it's probably best for your icon to be your own work, something snappy and memorable and eye-catching that reads well at a small size; people shouldn't have to dig for 20 minutes before they can start browsing your art. on twitter, this means TRY not to gunk up your media tab with a ton of reaction images/screencaps of your gacha pulls/etc; on here, it means make your art tag easy to find; on any website, a portfolio link, prominently displayed, is the best bet. (i am still working on that one myself lmao and i've been working professionally full time for a few years now so like, there are outliers and wiggle room on all of this).

next! it's great when your audience finds you, but you have to find them, too. find artists who do similar stuff to you and get into their stuff -- sincerely, not just as "networking." (like only do this with ppl whose stuff you actually think is cool, not just trying to get in mutuals with everyone you see in hopes of a bump, obviously.) get interested in other indie artists, find the people who are working/publishing in the spaces that are exciting and aspirational for you, and support them! i don't want it to sound cynical when i say there's a kind of give-and-take built into this; the point is not "well, if i reblog/retweet a bunch of YOUR stuff, maybe you'll feel obligated to boost mine in return," but that when you find other artists/creatives who are on the same wavelength as you, you will naturally stumble into pools of people who want to support art like yours, and you and your newfound peers will help each other when you hype each other's stuff up and direct followers to each other! (again re: things going differently on dif websites: this is twitter-specific for me, bc i use my tumblr as a gallery/portfolio. that doesn't mean it doesn't happen here tho! it can and does happen everywhere!)

it is really not a competition. i know that SOMETIMES it is in like, a really nitty-gritty numbers sense; people only have so much money to spare, they will make choices about whose patreon they can afford/what comic to buy/etc, that's true. but to me that's not competition. people who are sincerely into your stuff will hang on until they can afford it; maybe that means someone follows you for two whole years before the planets align and they have the budget/opportunity to commission you. by hanging out in similar circles you are not taking potential business or opportunities away from anyone else, nor are you risking leading your own audience to Someone They'll Like Better; you're just offering more options, and the internet is VAST and endless, and EVENTUALLY people will show up who are into YOUR STUFF, SPECIFICALLY. helping each other is never going to stifle or delay that!!

and my final chunk of advice is the one i give constantly that everyone is probably super sick of hearing but i just seriously seriously believe in it, even tho i know it's slow to pay off and hard to follow: keep doing exactly what you want to. keep doing it!!! you have to!!! yes, i mean the stuff that's getting like, 2 likes and 0 reblogs! the stuff that 'nobody likes!'

earlier i mentioned i have gotten big follower bumps from like adhd comics and stuff like that going viral. the thing is that, from a professional standpoint: my follower count has like, more than quintupled from where it was at a few years ago; my patreon income has absolutely NOT quintupled lmfao. it has less than doubled, over that same period of like... i wanna say over 4 years. that's still good, i'm grateful for it, and i owe a lot of it to the sheer numbers game (the more ppl see ur work, the more likely it is you'll reach someone who decides to support you), but there is absolutely not an actual direct correlation between numbers and career success/stability.

where there IS a direct correlation is between "people who give a shit about the art i really truly love making" and "people who like my art enough to support me professionally." HUGE chunks of the followers i get any time something goes viral slough off over time; there's nothing wrong with that, they just follow me bc something was funny/interesting and end up realizing my work's not actually their thing. but the ppl who follow me bc they're into all the stuff i post most consistently, the stuff i care about and am passionate about, stick around. and i would not have found them if i wasn't posting the shit i care about!

out there there are people who will be 100% crazy about the stuff that is 100% what you want to make. it's like actually statistically impossible for there not to be. the more niche your thing is, the longer it will take to find them, but they absolutely exist. but if you give up before you find them -- if you start saying, "well, i'll put in 50% of this idea that i love, but the other 50% is too weird and nobody's gonna like it and it'll flop" -- well, in that case, you can only ever find the ppl who are 50% into what you do. don't fuck yourself like that!! you cannot deny yourself the possibility (the INEVITABILITY!!! IMO!!!!!) of finding the people who will 100% get what you're doing.

so: on a pragmatic level, i'm sure there will be ppl who disagree with me on this, and who think it's absolutely mandatory to do fanart as a crowd draw or learn about algorithms and posting times and get on tiktok and do the visibility grind and everything and that it's stupid and irresponsible to tell people not to. i'm sure it's also easy to point out that i'm speaking from a place where i now have more eyes on my stuff than i know what to fucking do with so maybe i'm just totally out of touch and being naive or something. but for me the most important part of doing art now, ESPECIALLY as a career, is to keep loving it and to believe in what i'm doing and to build an audience that cares about the same things i do. and i think it is really really vital to make that your top priority. bc if you don't, then even if you DO crack the code to suddenly getting tons of notes on everything etc -- will you even keep wanting to do it?

this job is hard. it's lonely, in my experience; i spend so much time sitting in front of my computer alone. it's unstable, which is stressful and can be frightening. it's emotionally taxing, for me, because art is so important to me that it's hard to set boundaries and separate my identity from it and actually treat it like a job. it has taken me a long time to find success doing this; maybe i could have gotten there faster if i had tried to find ways to draw an audience specifically, but i think if i had somehow managed to get a big patreon following/tons of commissioners/etc by doing something formulaic or doing stuff that specifically gets tons of attention, but isn't what's natural for me -- i don't think i would have lasted very long that way. this is already hard and complicated enough; i don't think it's sustainable to give up any unnecessary ground on doing exactly what you're passionate about, bc at least in my case, that's mandatory for this even being a livable career for me. i would burn out and decide to do something else very quickly if the only way to succeed was to chase numbers/engagement.

doing it this way is very slow. if i hadn't been able to lean on family/my wife while starting up, i would have had to have a day job for much longer (like, years, probably) while saving up and preparing to go full time; for as long as you struggle to get traction, it may mean going full time has to be on the backburner. but the thing is that there's nothing wrong with that, it's the reality for the vast majority of us (from what i've seen) -- and you'll eventually build a career that can last way longer, i think.

okay oh my god i'm done. sorry about that. like i said this job is pretty lonely and i sit here all day and think about this stuff and then generally do not talk about it with anyone until somebody asks me about it and then i repeat myself at length again. like i did here. anyway have a good night sincerely and i hope some part of this was helpful!!!

[flippythedoodle]

hey can u give some tips for a beginner ambigrammist to refine her ambigrams and make the process easier?

i'll just put what ive learned from others and my own experience (i kinda put a lot so imma put it all under a read more)

1. you need to really know what letters look like

one of the talents an ambigrammist needs is to know the details of what makes a letter a letter, and what strengthens or weakens this reading. for example:

on the right are what i would say are very readable letters, almost instantly recognizable. on the left however are essentially the same letters, but missing the core elements of what makes them them. i recommend looking at fonts if you really want to fully understand, but as long as you know the glyphs, you can ambigram them!

additionally, there are so many other forms to choose from. we're all used to the simple, elementary alphabet we were taught, but there is a vast sea of different forms of letters you can try! things such as style, form, and mutations if done correctly will look cohesive in a design! experiment with cursive, square, fancy, blackletter, capitalization, italicization, the world is possible! for example, here are the many ways to write an r that i've collected:

14!!

14 for the LETTER R ALONE. the modifications may be subtle, but in the world of ambigramming where totally legible ambigrams are far and few between, every possible form counts bc you'll have more options at your disposal to choose from. as you see more ambigrams (and trust me, you probably will), you'll learn more about what's possible with them!

2. get feedback!!

the unique thing about ambigrams is theyre made to be seen by others, to be read and gawked at by onlookers, and so any outside feedback means the world to development. let family members, friends, preferreably people that mostly read normal words, try to read them, if they missed any letters, try and improve it. reiteration and tiny modifications help so much, even the tiniest of changes can help. sometimes we may be tunnel-visioned into thinking our ambigram is legible, because we know the word already, we see what it's supposed to look like. but when you get opinions from others, its almost like getting a new perspective, the ambigrammists equivalent of flipping a canvas. there are also communities dedicated to creating good ambigrams out there! (to name some, Ambigram Aficionados the discord server and ambigr.am the website, both of which are linked if you want :3)

3. know the methods!!

there are two main methods that ambigrammists "officially" recognize, downstroke matching, and shape matching

shape matching

this is the more freeform of the two methods, providing more space to do whatever, and thusly, maybe come up with either cool new stuff or bad new stuff. this matches "shapes" of letters, straight, curvy, half curve, spirally, etc etc. this one takes more experience to master, but if done well works wonderfully. heres an example with "greener"

(hey, look! weird R from earlier!)

downstroke matching

is one of the easier of the two, and most often than not yields the best results. in essence, letters are broken down into their vertical strokes, which are then "cut in half" and aligned to each other. this comes from the notion that people read the top parts of a letter more than its undersides. so, when flipping, all that crazy stuff that used to be on the top is now on the bottom, becoming flourishes and designs. this is kind of a precursor to shape matching, as if pretending all letters are squarish before actually taking into account their shape. an example with the word "Basket" would be:

this of course, has its downfall in curvy letters like b and o, as these have specific curves to follow, which may get lost in how strokes are made straight. i got lucky here with the e curving the same way the B would normally, but this isnt always the case.

the best ambigrammists tend to find a good balance between the two, making sure both form and style are as optimized as possible!

finally,

4. not all ambigrams are possible*.

*as a normal rotational

unfortunately, jojo, hello, uwu, and many more words aren't (currently) possible just because of how theyre built at words. so don't be disappointed if some seem impossible, because (like chloe *wink wink*) they might just be. you can then resort to different types of ambigrams, or different modifications!

here jojo works okay as a lake, uwu works perfectly and naturally as a mirror, and chloe and hello work as chain rotationals! another somewhat crucial element of making an ambigram work is flourishes. these help hide the modifications made to a letter, almost like camouflage, or even to hade a letter itself. here are some examples:

this one uses a curvy flourish for the hoops of the Ps, tiny dots for the i tittle and the Es midline, and a bit more flourishes to hide them like serifs and extra curves

this one turns a C into a drawing of a cockatoo! the flourish being the cockatoo, hiding the otherwise awkward C

this one's rather extreme, S and e being turned into flourishes. these are then surrounded by more flourishes to hide them, which works semi-okayly

thats all i think i know about ambigramming, i hope it was semi-useful!

(find me on ambigr.am at chump, and discord as shin_dig :3)

bonus resources: John Langdon (ambigram god)'s advice: https://www.johnlangdon.net/thoughts/advice-on-ambigrams/

Write Words Make Magic (who's also on here @writewordsmakemagic! makes much more in-depth videos on downstroke matching and ambigrams in general on youtube and tiktok)

[luckyshouse]

hi! im the asker of that not too vague not too personal question, haha. i did want to sincerely thank u outside of a like for responding and talking about it all; more is more, i'm so glad you had more to share!! i've only been able to understand or recognize my alters through fictional media, *ESPECIALLY* character tropes, like you mentioned?!!? it was basically the main tool i had that i could use to mentally cleave the concept of the alter apart from "me," which i also don't have a strong grasp of the desires/etc of, and when i looked around at typical experiences of fictives where they appear clear-cut instead of like blurry bundles of vague tropes and ways that a character acts, i felt for sure that i'd been misjudging myself when i used rules of thumb like "oh these tropes i'm exhibiting in this moment align with chara undertale, the character i bought a sweater to match with and act like, [X] is fronting, i guess??" -- the thing about kankri and having a "rule" about attractiveness hit too, in the sense that i couldn't have an alter from media i found too self-indulgent. this is a lot about moi you didn't need to know but genuinely. thank you for posting. thank you for making the art and the posts you do. i had no idea someone who i follow for it would make me have to sit with a disorder that a week ago i had completely tossed out the idea of despite also having the privilege of pretty persistent external validation from very obvious trauma. have a good one!

i'm so glad you were able to get help and gain something from my posts and art :') genuinely this is one of the sweetest things i've ever been told and i am so happy i could've helped. i understand completely, especially when i first started figuring out my system, i felt exactly like what you're describing. creating fursonas that embody those tropes have helped me so so much, but thats also because i at heart am a furry person. i have been making fursonas since before i could use the internet. and i think its really important that people talk about these things because DID is less so a specific set of rules that someone exists within and moreso a disorder that is extremely personalized to the person experiencing it. i think constantly about how DID generationally would portray in extremely different ways. someone with DID in the 50s is completely different than someone who has DID in the 2020s, because we have computers, we have new forms of media and entertainment and escapism. we have roleplaying and kinning where as a long time ago i'm sure systems were more focused on like television, or books, or spoken word. DID is a disorder characterized by completely dissociating from the body for extended periods of time, attempting to severe and fracture yourself when engaging with your body, but uiltimately, it is a disorder that is about being extremely abstracted from your physical self due to repeated and consistant trauma. i think its silly how people attempt to police how DID presents, becuase its like, how the fuck do you know someones "escapism" is wrong? you think theyre maladaptive daydreaming incorrectly? that doesn't make any sense. and i am so happy that i could portray other examples of DID so people know it isn't exclusively a one-model type of disorder.

this year has been really really rough on me, it's lead me to shedding a lot of things i considered core beliefs or held onto really tightly, due to nearly developing sepsis at one point and everything else going on in my life, i've decided that i'm trying to put all my effort into healing and learning who i actually am and who i want to be. i started making my art because i realized i was putting all of my energy into making art to create something for a bigger audience, and while that was helpful at the time, i want to create for myself. i want things i can be proud of not just because of the reception but because i internally feel proud and pandered to. im so happy my art means something to someone else

i hope you have a good night. :)

[kentopedia]

hi rylie,

talking about safe space.. lately, since i switched blogs, i've been having some mixed feelings. While I feel more at ease and comfortable, i can't shake off this sense of being an outsider? like i'm standing on the sidelines while all the other writers interact, already familiar with each other. it's giving “new kid” energy, hahaha but i've been trying to make friends, so it doesn’t just feel like i’m logging in, dropping a fic, and bouncing.

any advice? i’d really appreciate your input if you have any thoughts.

HI JESS !! sobbing bc i had a whole long response typed out and then it got deleted by tumblr, my number one opp. this is really long but hopefully it's helpful in some way!!!

i'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like that :( i know that ur feelings are coming from moving blogs, but i think that's been the general consensus on here (at least from my close moots/friends). that many people feel like an outsider. it's been weird on here lately, and while this is kind of a cliche thing to say, more people feel similar to that then you'd think <3

but i can def give you my advice on how i made friends !!! i'm honestly pretty shy so it took me a while, but everyone's different when it comes to interactions. how i started out was just by talking to and following people who had reblogged my fics. sending a "hey thank u so much for reading" or even just a little question to break the ice really helps. i tend to be more talkative to people who send me asks first, but i know that's not the same for everyone bc some do have friends they already stick with and don't really branch out :// some of my friends i've randomly dm'd and started a conversation with if i feel like there's one to be had and they're open to that.

i will say my easiest friendships came from giving people my discord, if you have one. personally i'm more comfortable with 1 on 1 conversations, so i just offer it up to any of my mutuals (which, i will def give u mine if you want it hehe). and if they want to chat with me more, then they can !! but servers are another good way if you do better in group chats. i know some people don't like dm's and would rather just talk in a server. personally i've had some bad experiences and i also know i will never talk in them, so i tend not to join them. but i know many people that really like them and/or networks bc they are more outgoing than me LOL. and also, they can share their fics and it makes it easier to circulate them and get support! but yeah, don't feel like you HAVE to join them to make friends, i think that's a misconception on here.

don't be too hard on yourself though, i was the same way for a while as well. sometimes i still feel like all i do is drop fics and the random personal life story and dip LMAO. being perfectly transparent, it took me probably 6 months to find a mutual i still interact with today, and a year to find one i would consider my friend! i think a lot of people really pretend on here, but of all the mutuals i talk to on a somewhat regular basis, every single one of them has told me within the past few weeks that they feel like they don't fit in here. which, i do not say that to be discouraging but instead to be like i PROMISE it's not you at ALL. and honestly, within the bsd fandom, there's only a few people i really interact with. everyone's superrrr nice (for the most part), but it's tough to make close friends in that fandom ><

okay but also i saw u were doing kinktober and i think this is a great time to get interactions !! i gained so many followers and started talking to so many people during this time last year, so i feel like you will have good luck with it :))

[eldritchmochi]

OKAY SO I JUST FINISHED REREADING COPING SKILLS AND I'M BACK TO HOUND YOU WITH QUASTSHUNS <3

When did Essek get into the Rosohnan kink community? Before/after his hEDS showed up? (basically I guess I'm wondering if he was into kink before dealing with hEDS or if, like many disabled kinksters in my experience anyways, he got into it as a way to have some control over pain in a pleasurable way)

Who exactly would Essek have mentored under????

How did Testament clock Bren as a kinkster, let alone introduce him to it?

Is Frumpkin an ordinary cat in this fic or a familiar?

How did Beau and Yasha meet??? What brought them to Xhorhas?

How did Essek meet his Guides?

LISTEN it's really hard for me to not ask about stuff that seems like it's gonna get answered over the course of the fic because I wanna be patient, dammit! Just please know that for every question I am pestering you with (affectionate) I have like, at least three more I'm holding back lol.

Anyways I hope you're healing up well! :3

holy shit you were not kidding about SO MANY QUESTIONS lmao (i am healing well thank u i got halfway thru typing this up and then went to the hospital so uh....)

When did Essek get into the Rosohnan kink community? Before/after his hEDS showed up?

his interest in kink came first when he was younger, thru the elf equivalent of his teens as he tried to figure out sex acts that interested him beyond the abstract of touch-dick-feel-good, then the inkling of hmmm maybe there's something physically wrong with me as he got a little older and it stopped being excusable that he was a bit of a klutz, but he became active in the scene as an adult around the same time he was getting official diagnoses in his late 90s, early 100s

Who exactly would Essek have mentored under????

good question! honestly, he probably hasn't (hadn't??) with the exception of/until zehra because before his guides he hadn't really spent too long in relationships, kink or otherwise. he attended plenty of workshops when he was starting out and has done scenes with several others in the community like, casually, but he is probably not as experienced as readers (or caleb) would assume

How did Testament clock Bren as a kinkster, let alone introduce him to it?

it was the other way around actually! kink is not precisely taboo in rosohna, not the same way it is irl or even in the empire; it's generally expected that most folks, particularly those in noble circles ESPECIALLY if they're a longer lived race, have dabbled at least a little. rather, its hush-hush to like, allow those same nobles the freedom to operate outside the expectations of their circles. like there can be repercussions, but its mostly just private business is private. caleb, however, is very observant and there was like, a kink equivalent of the "i like your shoelaces" deal, which absolutely delighted testament

Is Frumpkin an ordinary cat in this fic or a familiar?

he is a familiar! i've fudged some things from cannon/dnd raw because fuck you its fanfic i can do what i want, but frumpkin is still a familiar, still a fae creature, still telepathically linked to caleb, and still able to be summoned and banished as needed. its absolutely impossible to show given how 99% of the fic is from essek's pov, but caleb very politely bribes frumpkin with mlem sticks to please leave him and his guest alone until such and such time when his guest will leave so caleb can fuck in peace (per yasha's suggestion given that cats are not common in rosohna, so it follows that essek has not much interacted with them (he has not) and may be uncomfortable with the staring (he would be))

(further fun frumpkin fact, caleb had to get a special permit to have his familiar's default form be "cat" because they are a non-native species lmao)

How did Beau and Yasha meet??? What brought them to Xhorhas?

they met through caleb and molly respectively; after molly's "death", yasha had a hard time staying in rexxentrum without feeling overwhelmed, so when beau got the opportunity to be part of the souls efforts to set up a library in rosohna, they got shotgun married and went somewhere new

How did Essek meet his Guides?

the tl;dr of it is basically lapin walked up at some event and was basically like my wife girlfriend and i saw you across the bar and we really like your vibe lmao. essek was mildly put off because he only likes men and zehra was basically like well thats fine because im a lesbian and you're obviously not a woman but that doesn't mean things cant be interesting, queue lapin being like yeah you dont have to fuck to have fun!! and essek was so baffled he agreed to get to know them and then somehow it was two years later and he was in their wedding party with friendship nipple piercings

absolutely feel free to ask questions even if you think they'll be answered in fic!! i don't mind fielding them because like, tbh, i am not THAT good of a writer so its entirely possible i wont think to really explain xyz thing because its obvious to me (there have definitely been SEVERAL things ive had to last minute edit into following chapters to explain a thing previously because people commented like wait what is this??? because i just... knew what it was so obviously everyone else would lmao). worse case scenario i'll pull a neil and go wait and see

but thank u for so many questions it was very fun!!

[acidbathpuppy]

love that ur talking about this because i’ve followed u forever but i have never really understood what puppy play is. i know there are masks and stuff but is it cool to ask u what it means to u? i’ve just assumed it’s a role in play and occasionally it’s a full-time thing for some.

Hello I'm so happy you asked cus I'm really passionate about these sorts of things, hence why I took a while to respond (that and I've been at work). Obviously everything I talk about is from my own personal experience of what I've read, written, and also what I've done in practice at fetish clubs. I've actually published an article about puppy play for my work magazine as well! Although I've got strong opinions no one has to agree with me cus of course we all play differently! Despite my attitude, I actually don't care what anyone does to be happy, you do you!

Another thing is my perspective is mostly as a gay man. Pup play is for everyone of any sexuality and gender, but it has strong roots in the gay community, and so I'll be talking about that.

This is gonna be an extensive post with mature themes, and I also don't mince my words about my opinions on the whole dogboy thing I see on tumblr so if that's your thing and you're sensitive to rejection maybe don't read this.

Firstly, I'm not saying that one way of practicing pup play is more superior or 'correct' than another. My frustration in my vent posts were aimed towards the more roleplay side of the kink being way over represented which has seemed to cause a misunderstanding to people on the outside of what the community and kink is about. It's sort of been woobified and watered down and cutesified to the point where it's become just as cringe as the daddy dom/princess shit we used to see back in the tumblr haydays. Maybe that's just the tumblr curse, but I feel cus of that people are missing out on understanding all the things about pup play that really makes it appealing to myself and others.

Pup play to me is more than just roleplaying as a dog and being called a good boy. To me it's a pillar head of queer identity through sex and involves a combination of BDSM practice, fetishised materials and gear (such as leather, rubber, neoprene), queer sex culture such as leather daddies/dykes and boy/girl dynamics (not the same as age regression or age play), alongside other important queer cultures like fisting clubs, leather bars, and BDSM bars in general. I'll link a book at the end of this post that talks a lot on the significance of gay sex clubs and really lays out how queerness and fetish have been linked historically, but basically the scene would be nowhere today if it wasn't for fisting clubs and gay sex bars.

Pup play allows me as a gay man to hand create an identity to explore BDSM through. I get to affirm my masculinity by belonging to a community that has existed since the early days of queer sex publicity, and was largely represented by other gay men. It feels euphoric to belong to a culture such as this. That is the very base level of appeal even without considering anything erotic. It's the same appeal that causes me to flag as a pup in public via dog tags or paw print patches as I really enjoy that sense of belonging. (I don't consider this to be the same as when dogboy tumblr kids wear dog ears or collars in public as that's not flagging that's just more of a costume or expression of style. More on that later.)

My own experience has been with leather in particular, the erotic appeal of leather is not something that has to go into pup play necessarily but there's plenty of pup gear that caters to leather lovers like me. Pups can wear leather hoods or masks, as well as leather harnesses, collars, boots and leashes. Pups will also often wear silicone tail plugs and sometimes chastity cages. Basically, the gear is a big part of the culture, which is both a good thing due to a sense of uniform and also a bad thing due to some people thinking you're not a ‘real’ pup unless you have all the expensive shit, but fuck them.

The pup is quite literally dehumanised to an animal state to either provide a service to their dom or to interact with other pups (or both). Lots of people enjoy being in touch with their more primal side especially in an erotic sense. If you're unaware of the practice of headspace in BDSM then I recommend looking into it as that is often a large appeal of the kink and can explain how people are able to comfortably reduce themselves to an inhuman state without lasting effects.

Anyway, pup play for me becomes an extension of the leather scene and daddy/boy dynamics (again, not fauxcest, but simply the classic titles used in the leather community). A pup is a devoted sub (not the same as a bottom, service tops are very popular with pups) and is in a dynamic either solo (pups without masters are called strays, I am a stray because I am not owned by anyone and instead have casual scenes with many different people either handlers or other pups) or with a dominant. Dominants are often referred to as handlers and a big appeal of this dynamic for the pup is to be cared for and controlled/punished/rewarded in the same way that an owner might behave with a beloved pet. Although many people might disagree with the exact wording, being a pup is the same as being someone's gimp or slave. It's practically the same roles and devotion, but with different attitudes and language used. And yes, you're right, some people do choose to live this lifestyle 24/7 (although realistically these cases are few and in-between and are often targeted and blown out of proportion by documentary teams and social media to make it seem a lot more 'weird' than the reality, which is just two consenting adults being dedicated to a dynamic). Like with most aspects of BDSM it's hard to pinpoint exactly what draws people towards this, being a submissive can be relaxing for some, it can be a chance to unwind, and being a pup can have the same effect. You get to forget about real people worries for a bit. I can only speak from my own experience.

Now, this is where my own attachment to puppy play might start to differ from other pups, but for me pup play is intrinsically linked with humiliation play and erotic mindfucking. Both of these BDSM practices are a form of edgeplay (practices that push the boundaries of ethics and safety) and although there are other pups that share my tastes, oftentimes pupping can be a reverse experience and instead can be a form of empowerment for some if not most.

Erotic mindfucking and humiliation are two very big topics and if I tried to go into all the nuances and appeals behind it then this would be a 20k word answer, so I've linked some key reading below if you're really interested in knowing more about it.

In the sense of pup play though, humiliation and mindfucking is a priority to me. I have a guilt complex when it comes to receiving pleasure or affection, and oftentimes this makes it very hard for me to actually enjoy being a bottom or a sub during sex. I'm constantly thinking that the giver is only doing this cus they want something in return and that it's a chore for them and that they will get bored but won't be able to say it and it will feel like I'm being selfish. A good way to short circuit those thoughts are to be put in a pup headspace. When in headspace, I no longer feel those concerns because I am aware that the dynamic forged here is one of care and that it is normal for a dog to be needy and to get attention, and I am providing a service for the dom in that sense. The humiliation plays into this in the sense of being ‘forced’ to behave as a dog, to dehumanize myself for my doms entertainment. It's very hot to me to have my masculinity affirmed by being treated like a powerful man who has to be ‘forced’ to be submissive, it helps eliminate any dysphoria I might feel about taking a submissive role in the bedroom. Also it's hotttt.

Like most subs, it's about having your control taken away from you. The puppy side of it only informs the way that you act and react and the way that you are spoken to and are treated. For example, obedience training with a clicker or being made to wear a bone gag, or being teased for the silicone tail butt plug that wags with any small movement. Being called a good boy or bad dog, being punished in specific ways like leashed up or muzzled. All of that is secondary to the initial importance of the base dynamic. You can't just leap into pet play without securing ethical boundaries and good BDSM communication first.

During scenes like this, wearing a mask is not something I would do. I like my doms to see the full range of my emotions not just for enjoyment but also for safety (monitoring my face for signs of discomfort or pain) and also the mask effects my range of vision due to me being half blind in my left eye. Wearing a mask is something that is mostly reserved for going to parties or taking photos, but that's very much just my preference.

Circling back to my original posts, I think the issue I have with a lot of the puppy rp textposts I see on here stems from the way that it leans heavily on a very phallocentric and penetration focused view on BDSM. A lot of hardcore (and by hardcore here I'm not referring to the play, moreso the involvement in fetish scene) players will tell you that as soon as a scene turns to penetrational or traditional sex acts of any kind then the scene is pretty much either coming to a close or fully over. Traditional sex acts do not go hand in hand with BDSM or kink practice. Not to say that they can't, but it's very uncommon to watch a scene in a fetish club that involves penis(or strap)-in-hole sex (depends heavily on the theme of the club tbh). And yet all the uwu puppyboy hashtag puppy nsft text posts on here take an almost ridiculous penetration focused attitude. At this point they're basically just reinventing vanilla sex but claiming that they're still a hashtag freak cus they call their sub a puppy and wear a cheap ass velcro collar. There's nothing wrong with vanilla sex!!! Just accept that already instead of calling it something it isn't. I work in a sex shop and the amount of vanilla cishet couples that come in and buy run of the mill pet roleplay stuff like buttplug tails and cat ears is very high. There's nothing wrong with being into tamer stuff, just don't claim that it's hardcore pet play cus it's giving other people a wrong impression of what that involves. Many times I've gone to pup events and seen tumblr queers petrified in a corner cus they were expecting t4t dog motif sexy roleplay and instead got a room full of cis gay men doing poppers and wearing neoprene hoods. Not to mention that it's become just yet another highly commercialised micro-trend-identity that completely diminishes the gravity behind the kink itself. The whole dogboy thing has become a costume, it's completely taken it away from the powerful queer sex movement that allowed (mostly) gay men to express their sexuality to a world that demonised them for being freaks and instead has become just a cutesy tiktok trend. Not to mention the same people who leave the house wearing fluffy ears and dog collars are the same people who would kick up a fuss if they saw pup hoods in public at pride events. By all means express yourself however you want, good for you! I too wear a bone tag on a chain, but once more it is not associated with pup play, and is instead simply just cosplay or roleplay. I consider my chain to be a post-punk accessory. Which is fine!!!! But again, it's giving people who think it's the same as pup play the wrong idea.

All in all the appeals for everyone are different. I love the dynamics puppy play opens up for me, I love feeling in service to someone and feeling that unconditional affection often shown to a pet. I like feeling humiliated and brought down to my knees and ‘forced’ to behave in a subservient and obedient manner. I love the gear, I love how it makes me look, how the leather feels and smells, it gives me an opportunity to become a more primal version of myself which eliminates a lot of self consciousness or guilt complex. But all in all I think what separates puppy play from just puppy roleplay is the historic sense of community that surrounds it, even if you don't go to pup or kink events, and it's interweaving with other BDSM practices and dynamics. It's something that really enriches my kink experience and I only hope that people who want to get into it aren't put off by the tumblification of it in recent years.

If you're an unsafe dom or an inconsiderate sub that's shown no attempt to change or research what it is you're doing then you don't deserve to be part of the BDSM community. I've played with partners before that have been overly dangerous, unethical, and have disrespected the boundaries surrounding my body, and by proxy these types of people aren't pup players, they're just uninformed roleplayers who get all their sex ideas from cringe tumblr textposts. If you wanted a clear example as to why the sext post porn on here is not just annoying but dangerous, there's your reason. It creates arrogant dominants out of inexperienced amateurs, and they will end up killing someone. That's not a hyperbole.

This post could have been 10k words to be honest cus I kept wanting to talk about different aspects, so if you've got any other questions or if you want to understand something I mentioned here a little better then please feel free to ask me!

If you wanna read more about the history of queer sex in general, such as the haydays of sex clubs and what they did for the queer community, then I can recommend:

LEATHER FOLK: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1295028.Leather_Folk

If you want to know more about the intricacies of erotic humiliation then there's a great book written into the ethics and appeals of that:

ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU BLUSH: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/75278288-enough-to-make-you-blush?ref=nav_sb_ss_4_18

If you want to learn more about ethical mindfucking then this book was very enlightening to me and is written by a queer author (always nice):

MINDFUCKING MINDFULLY:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58411742-mindfucking-mindfully?ref=nav_sb_ss_1_21

[fuckyeahjasonschwartzman]

im becoming a fan bc of spiderverse and i love your blog <3 ive seen a couple wes anderson movies/scott pilgrim but are there any movies or shows you’d recommend? thank u!!

okay so fair warning, outside of the animated movies, the wes anderson ones, and spvtw, pretty much all jschwartz movies and shows are going to contain something mildly graphic at the least. usually it's weird sex which I think is awesome but I can't recommend viewing if you're a minor (most of my followers aren't tho so I'm not worried)

anyway, here are recs with my personal thoughts! (reading the little reviews is not mandatory but suggested? I guess if you want a better idea of what you're getting into)

Shopgirl (2005)

Besides Steve Martin's absolutely rancid performance, I'm actually a huge fan of this movie and I think it's so enjoyable. it's not a masterpiece, but there was clearly a lot of intent and thought put into the design choices and cinematography (I've written papers on the color symbolism!) and though the story isn't amazingly coherent because it was adapted from a much better written novella, it is still at least enjoyable. I love the atmosphere, and I think it's a very unconventional romance film that explores the unhealthy relationships that are glamorized in similar media as sexy and desirable (ray porter is a character that existed before, and yet still makes fun of toxic love interests like christian gray). and I like how it extremely accurately represents what it's like being a severely depressed lonely woman.

I'm inherently biased here because I watched this movie for the first time while I was in an abusive relationship and it still really resonates with me. most people luckily do not experience that so I'm a bit of an outlier here :')

2. I Heart Huckabees (2004)

I have no deeper reason for loving IHH I just find it delightful. it's weird, it's confusing, its kinda gross, it's shocking and you don't start understanding it unless you think about it really hard for a while. it's essentially a beginner's guide to different schools and concepts in philosophy, which I'm a big ol sucker for. lovely message that I believe is handled better than a lot of movies who go for the existentialism thing. not a fan of the director, but this movie is pretty enjoyable and leaves you with a lot to think about (if you're into that). LOVE the score.

3. Spun (2002)

INITIAL WARNING THIS MOVIE IS DISGUSTING. and I love it. it's so fun and experimental especially with the editing and cinematography, the pacing is insane, not to the mention the animation, the color correction, the everything... has one of the most amazingly satisfying closing shots in a movie, ever. but it's definitely not for the faint of heart, if you can't sit through watching someone snort meth off a urinal stall or a close up of someone injecting themselves with a needle, this is definitely not for you. (not to mention the sex, again).

4. Marie Antoinette (2006)

yayy finally an option that most people agree is good! unless you're French. I was almost named Antoinette after my French g-g-gma (got named after my French g-g-g-gpa Raymond instead), plus rococo is a huge interest of mine so I adore this movie. it was shot on location at Versailles, the costumes are GORGEOUS, and almost everything is accurate! it has a mixed classical-modern soundtrack and aesthetic that I find very effective in getting its message across. however I do tend to like this movie more than most because I know who everyone is and what's happening already! it's based on a biography by Antonia Frasier which is sitting next to me as I type this lol.

5. Funny People (2009)

HEAR ME OUT. OKAY. mark taylor jackson was my "ohhh shit this dude's hot" moment and this movie was The Beginning for me. YES, it's an Adam Sandler movie co-starring Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. AND YES. I FIND IT TO BE AN EFFECTIVE DRAMA. I don't like drama in film in general, I find most to be very unrealistic and unrelatable for me so I get bored easily, but I do think this weirdly works? I love how it's kind of an introspective look at Adam Sandler's career, with liberties taken, and the characters seem to actually have some chemistry and realism to them, even in the sillier moments. jason schwartzman is super cute. need I say more.

6. S1m0ne (2002)

ok, admittedly jason isn't in this one too much. and yet it's still worth mentioning because it's an insanely underrated and likeable movie! if anything al pacino is hot, and the entire premise is so unsettling and dystopian in an ACTUALLY WELL HANDLED sci-fi manner (good sci-fi concepts tend not to be "what ifs" but allegories for things that are actually happening already). S1m0ne is a criticism of hollywood, celebrity culture, and mass media, and it's genuinely just so creative to me. another contender for the best ending shot in cinema. ALSO, very pretty cinematography and a very fun early 2000s feel to it. the writer/director also wrote the Truman Show iirc!

7. Bored to Death

saving TV for last. let me tell you one thing! if you're looking for jason schwartzman at his best, you need to watch this show. it is so funny, so entertaining, and best of all, every character in it is so terrible and fucked up and it's wonderful. it's crazy, but grounded in reality, which makes it even crazier. jason schwartzman plays a hopeless romantic author who's boredom and disappointing love life lead him to becoming an "unlicensed private detective" who accepts jobs through craigslist. also there are zach galifianakis and ted danson, who play the two other main characters. the entire premise of the show is these three guys getting high and solving mysteries together and it's phenomenal. there's an actual episode where jason runs down the streets of brooklyn in full leather bdsm gear. there's an episode about furry sex. It's so weird and perverted and SUCH a good comedy noir(?) I can't not recommend it, despite having the worst fucking ending out of anything ever cause it got canceled.

tldr: I like bad movies

there are a ton more I could go ok about but these are the ones I personally enjoy the most. good luck

[faebriel]

this might sound a lil weird but I’m going into college soon n was wondering if u had any advice 😓 bleh chronic anxiety sucks

hiya!! omg first of all congrats, college is so exciting <3 anxiety makes things scary but genuinely it's a super exciting accomplishment and time of your life for sure

my exp with uni in australia is probably a bit different - for example we don't really board at uni unless you live very regionally! so unforchies i don't have much advice on things like dorms and rooming which i know would be a huge shift. i guess if any followers have advice feel free to reply/reblog?

otherwise here is my advice for a stress-minimal tertiary education experience:

it's good to figure out How You Study and How You Stay Organised ASAP. one of the biggest shifts from high school to university for me was keeping on top of all of my assignments/readings/study along with work, social life, going outside and seeing the sun etc. think about - where do you study best, at home/in your dorm or in a library? do you need people around to motivate you to focus (my uni had drop-in study sessions at the library, which might be less distracting than friends) or do they distract you? does a digital planner or a diary help you keep track of what you need to do? (i tried keeping a diary for YEARS and failed multiple times - it just doesn't work for my brain! i need that shit on a phone! and that's ok.) even if you feel like you should be able to keep on top of your study and stuff the "normal" or "expected" way... sometimes your brain just doesn't work like that. don't be afraid to experiment with different ways of planning your day or different ways of studying. first year of college is the perfect time for this! go digital, go paper, print out your readings, make a big visual brainstorm or collage instead of taking rote notes. find out what sticks in your brain and do that.

for study - don't be afraid to be proactive in class and ask your professors if there are any practice questions or past assignments you can review. just try to ask towards the start of semester, not right before your due dates.

do at least 50% of your assigned readings before class. really you should do all of it unfortunately but sometimes you hit a busy week and shit happens. on those weeks, aim for 50%

join a club! social ones are great to know people, and there are also field/industry ones which can help you get internships and experience and find people who are also in the field you study. my uni at least also had a lot of nonprofit/charity clubs which are great for 1) giving back to the community 2) making friends and 3) it looks good on a resume okay i'll just be honest with you

try not to wind up on the executive team of a club tho unless it's a great environment, something you're passionate about, and something you have time for. ultimately, you're at college for your education - extracurriculars like clubs are nice, but don't kill yourself over keeping them afloat. (this one comes from experience!)

and following on from some of those... everyone is expecting freshers to be awkward. social clubs are, teachers are, everyone. i know it's so silly to be like "just try not to be socially anxious!" but for me realising that literally everyone i spoke to expected me to be awkward and kind of out of my depth as a fresher helped. you can show up to a social event for a club, decide that it's not your vibe, and just not come back. or only come to every 2 or 3 events. that is totally fine. no one is checking your name at the door (and if they are, it's just so they can count attendance and prove to the college that they should be allowed event budgeting money because people do come to their events - it's nothing personal!) it's okay to be in a club for one semester and then leave, or stay for two years.

if asking questions in class makes you anxious, ask your teacher if they have office hours - in my experience they prefer this to emailing.

and if there's something you're struggling with - they literally have a degree in explaining what they're teaching to you, they won't mind catching you up to speed in office hours if you need extra help. if they're an asshole, look on your college website or ask around your class if possible to see if there are other teachers on campus who can help you. googling your course and the teacher can also help too - a lot of the time people who have issues with a prof and are looking for alternatives will post about it online.

some unis/colleges also have student services that provide counselling - they deal with general and social anxiety cases a lot. i won't lie, some of them are useless. but some of them will be really familiar with your college campus and be able to give you really specific advice about managing anxiety

having to retake a unit sucks, but stressing yourself to death about it is worse. sometimes that's just a punch you have to roll with

look for internships and work experience as soon as possible - it's good practice for writing resumes whether you get the position or not, they're great for figuring out if you really like the field you're aiming for, and they're great for building references for getting a job later. idk my uni had a platform where they would advertise a wholeee lot of internships which helped figure out where to look exactly. i'll be honest there aren't many for first years, but the earlier you start becoming aware of what's around, the less stressful it is towards the end of your degree

missing class cos you're sick happens. email the teacher ASAP and let them know, hopefully they can give you material to catch up on. some classes have absence policies but i'll be honest i finished my degree mid COVID and no one knew what was going on

if there's something like ADHD you should be being treated for i would suggest getting on top of that real early

most importantly........PRIORITISE YOUR HEALTH !! burnout is real. chronic flu is real. wrecking your sleep schedule is real and it hurts you. we have a saying in aus that Ps (passes) Get Degrees. obviously do your best and all but sometimes you're sick or something has come up and taken all your assignment time or w/e and you just gotta go for the P this time. always always communicate with your tutor, let em know you're sick or having trouble as soon as possible. most of the time they are understanding and not assholes. if they are, well, that's their choice to be an asshole. (and if they are violating your rights as a student, go to student services/your guild and rip them a new one.) but you're keeping them informed, and that's supposed to be what they want.

ok this list is long as hell sorry 😭 tl dr is 1) prioritise your health 2) figure out how YOU stay organised and study 3) join clubs for fun and profit 4) always ask the "stupid" question to your prof because someone else is probably also thinking the same thing. love and light i hope you have the best college experience!!!!!!

[imaginidol]

Do u have any tips/advice on starting a fanfic blog ??

Hi!! I appreciate you asking me first of all, it makes me feel like I'm getting better to the point where I can give my own tips <3

I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE THIS IS SO LONG :(

I've given you here my 4 best tips that have helped me :) I hope they are of some use to you as well!!

I'll tell you what--the one thing that really helped me grow personally was consistency with writing. I did have a point where I went MIA for a while because of school, but I took advantage over this whole summer to write, write, write! Sure, if you read some of my old stuff it's actually pretty bad and poorly written lol, but I just kept going until eventually I found a decent-ish writing style that works for me. Sometimes I'd have a REALLY nice fic written, and other times it feels like my writing just wasn't it/downgrading. It's a lot of yo-yo'ing, but keep going at it and soon enough the ideas and words will come to you smoothly.

What I also started with was moodboards!! Like this Mingi moodboard, for example, which eventually became an inspiration for a short fanfic story that I went along with based off the pictures. You know what else is cute sometimes, too? Posting song links if a certain song is an inspiration for a fic. I'm gonna start diong it, and most definitely will be linking from anything like orchestra to noise music if it fits a vibe lol. I'll admit, I haven't gotten to give a really detailed moodboard + fic like that Mingi one in a while and I'd like to go back to it. And, it's currently my post with the most notes ever, so I really would advise you to try a fun mood board with pictures and feel your way around the vibes and write!

As for HOW to write -- I'm currently working on "show, don't tell." I like reading a few of my absolute favorite fics from other people and I study how they use methods of showing emotions, gestures, events, etc. in discriptive manners--it makes me feel as though the fic comes to life and I'm really there, feeling and experiencing everything my y/n does!! Also this is a short fun challenge that I give myself -- I don't ever use "Y/N" in any of my fics because i feel like it disrupts the flow of the reading lol (this is just my own preference though, you don't have to do this!) instead, I refer to anyone directing their attention to you as "You," or if your partner is speaking to you, something like "thank you, my love/how have you been, love?" :P ALSO!! I alwaayyysss have a second tab open on google where I look up synonyms/antonyms of words so that I don't repeat them so much. Like, angry synonym, and I'll choose the word vexed instead. Works wonders and actually enhances your vocab!!

Requests will come in soon, and they will definitely challenge you to think outside the box and get creative!! Who says all stories have to be happy endings? What if they're about self-reflection? Love? Friendship? Or just silly buffonery 😆 I could ask you a few requests as well if you'd like as a way to get started :') Also, interact with followers as inbox msgs come in! I wasn't too good at this at the start and it is one thing I wish I could go back and work on.

Thank you if you actually even made it all the way down here! My hope with this blog is that my fanfics will help me become a decent enough writer to a point where one day I'll have enough creative experience to draft a full YA novel, which has been a dream of mine since elementary school! I hope these tips help you in anyway, and I can't help but thank you and anyone else who even gives a second thought to this blog for all the ways you guys help me fix and enhance my writing.

-ii