#dont smoke kids >:( unless ...

[hinamie]

we may not get forever / but forever is far

[dadfolddilf]

tony collette has instantly become my favourite in the peachyville horror show he is just SO BASTARDLY (and gay)

I wish upon thee many shared cigarettes with hot doctors.

[alstroemerian-dragon]

nothing more platonic than smoking weed on a balcony at 9 pm and blowing the smoke into your homies mouth. trust me im an expert 🌺🔥🌫️

[ratmonky]

have an inspection for my apartment tomorrow morning, my last day at my small ass uni apartment is today and i'll be doing my last bit of cleaning!!

i literally have nothing else in here other than my new laptop that i only do editing with so i spent last night and my morning just now writing lol

i've partially finished my dbd chapter (4k+ words atm) but it introduces another killer that the reader will be paired up with and the next segment is the michael myers' trial!! so my question is--- would you rather to have me post it now or after i've also written michael's trial? (might take a week or two to write and post michael's trial, if i post it now you'll have another chapter within the next month)

was gonna make a poll but i like to interact personally so let me know in the comments heh <3

i'll make it easy so you can copy paste your answers like this:

i waited 3+ years for michael i CANNOT wait any longer

i waited 3+ years for michael i can wait longer

[wheresmyicarus]

cigarette pls

[reorientation]

zyn anon. sorry again for the long ass updates I shall stop unless I get pregnant lmao.

speaking of, have more faith in me 😭 Ive been playing it mostly safe. kinda. I don't have to stop smoking and i dont want to 😒 and all this is mostly reversible unless he gets me pregnant, so I'm a lil more cautious. and im not pregnant i checked a few days ago, not because of a pregnancy scare but just paranoia lol im definitely a dumb whore tho. we've discovered he has a breeding kink. LMAO. lol. im so fucked

anyway so, as it turns out I was right about lacking self control.

he went on a camping trip for a few days, and i was really pent uppp and so was he lol. and when i came over to his place, almost immediately horny brain took over. we just started kissing on the couch, and took it to his room. thankfully his roommates still on holiday. i got so desperate and pathetic, i begged him to fuck me even though no iud yet. he was definitely enthusiastic lol. he only took his pants off enough to take his cock out. he also ripped my panties 😒 he went to grab a condom from the night stand,

he was like "gotta play it safe now aha" and i was like

"no. go bare. 🗿"

he didn't even question it, i was so wet and i felt how easily his cock slid on me before entering.

he only ever went raw a handful of times even before my failed vow of celibacy. since he thought it was dumb for me to get plan B even if he swore he didn't cum at all in me. other than that one time. he'd tell me when he's close, and immediately pull out to finish on me.

but this time it was so primal, being skin to skin and that bare and close was insane. he had a hand on my hip, and he'd basically pull me back down on his cock but fuck lol it just felt so strong. we stopped at one point, i was still all the way on his cock and on top of his lap but no riding. is that cockwarming?

idk but I want to do it again. i felt his dick like. move inside of me during that. all we did was make out but it was way too hot.

anyway, he pushed me on my back and told me he was close, as predicted, I told him to cum in me. he asked if I was sure and not only did i beg him to cum in me.

i told him to get me pregnant 😭

i wasn't thinking properly and I got scared immediately after saying it. i was worried it was gonna put him out of the mood but it did the opposite 😭😭 he asked smth like "oh, you wanna have my kids?" and omfg he kept mumbling about it. telling me to take it all deep, telling me hes gonna get me pregnant.

i came so hard, and only with penetration. it was such a weird feeling, and before i could become rational and tell him its just a prank. pull out. it was over, he came in me while mumbling about knocking me up 😭😭 i was short circuiting lol. and it was different than last time. it felt more shakey, and he kept doing these small thrusts after I think most of his cum was already pressed deep, and then he just settled all in me. he was soft by the time he pulled out, i was way too hazed out ngl

he came a lot. some started to drip down when he pulled out, and i felt him finger it back in me.

he said he didnt nut the whole trip, and was saving his cum for me. he knew id be too horny and impulsive to make good decisions. 😒.

as it turns out, he has a big thing for breeding, but was scared to tell me incase i took it a bad way.

im terrified of having a partner who gets off on the idea of getting me pregnant but I can't stay away.

i complained that id have to wake up so early to run out and get plan B, and buying it will be expensive.

so he told me to just not get it then. and I'm like .. well .. I'm not on any birth control and im full of cum .. like maybe risking it be a bad idea. ironically, like you had once suggested, he suggested I leave it up to chance.

I did take plan B after. twice lol. im still really anxious, but incredibly horny and I didn't know both could exist at once

he's arrogant now too. ill go over after work and when we're about to fuck, ill ask him to wrap it. and he's like "nah, don't feel like it tonight". he also threw out his condoms. but even if i bring my own he doesn't use them 😒

my birthcontrol method was to start riding him when he's about to get close, and pull off before he's about to cum. but he caught on and now just grinds me down on him as he's cumming

i told him about my detrans kink and he leans heavyy in it. or he probably is just an actual straight man. he reminds me daily that he can't believe i ever thought i was a boy. he doesnt even say it in a kinky way like he just means it. lol :/

im pretty much always thinking about it. everytime he finishes in me, im stuck dripping his cum for two days, and im still paranoid that ill be carrying more than just his cum from this blip up lol. and also, you taught me more about post nut clarity right. he told me to risk it maybe half an hour after he came. surely hed have post nut clarity and not actually want a baby, right?its weird to feel fear and horny at the same time.

(Previously)

have more faith in me 😭

-

I told him to cum in me. he asked if I was sure and not only did i beg him to cum in me. i told him to get me pregnant 😭

Oh, I certainly have faith in you, Anon. I know you're going to do just what you're supposed to. 🖤

Come on, sweetheart. Do you really expect to make it out of this without him putting a baby in you? You begged for him to knock you up, took a week's worth of his cum in your unprotected pussy, and then just lay there blissed out and hazy while he made sure every drop ended up inside you.

Sure, you took Plan B afterwards. But now he knows what kind of girl you are, and that you won't stop him from keeping you full of his cum. Sooner or later, you'll be ovulating, and you'll conceive for him.

And that makes you dripping wet, doesn't it? Knowing that your straight boyfriend, who never thought of you as anything except a girl, is doing his damnedest to give you a baby bump. That you already came off T for him, and now you're taking his load in your fertile pussy whenever he tells you to.

When the day of your IUD appointment comes, I hope he just holds you down and fucks his cum into you, instead of letting you go. Clearly, he'd be justified: you can't possibly claim to be a reliable source on what you really want.

You thought you wanted to be a boy, but you eagerly turned back into a girl the minute a straight man got his cock into you. You thought you wanted to be safe, and then you begged for him to knock you up. Hell, you thought Zyns were worth whoring yourself out for, and you don't even like them. Why should he think that not wanting to have his babies is the one way you really know your mind?

[sunny-ssunset]

MASTERLIST AND REQUESTS

Divider by Pinterest

❀ All my storys are here! ❀

REQUESTS! OPEN!

I try not to ignore any requests but tumblr has been deleting some before I could even start the draft so im sorry if your request hasnt came through :(

Disclaimer! If gender is unspecified in the request it will be chosen by me.

❀ What I'll write! ❀

♡Any gender

♡Any characters

♡Headcanons and fics/oneshots

♡Yandere x reader/ Character x Yandere reader

♡Romantic will be aged up and platonic doesnt really matter the age

♡I only write for south park sorry

❀ What i wont write! ❀

♡Character x character im selfish

♡Character x oc again im selfish

♡No poly relationships i dont really know how to portray that sorry

♡Smut i cant take it seriously tbh

♡Adult x child (unless platonic) self explanatory

♡Incest or like weird shit bc im normal

I post every Wednesday :D

Divider by @k1ssyoursister

ONESHOTS!

-Unbearable.

❀Kyle x a Mute! Rebellious! Fem! Reader❀

Kyle helps a girl he's been keeping his eye on, not knowing it will change his perspective of her permanently. (AGED UP)

-Her highness.

❀Princess Kenny x Fem! Knight! Reader❀

Y/n asks Princess Kenny to be her Queen. (AGED UP)

-Y/n's coffee catastrophe!

❀Tweek x Coworker! GN! Reader❀

Y/n's first day on the job!! How hard can it be? (AGED UP)

-How I met your mother

❀Kyle broflovski x Fem! Reader❀

How kyle broflovski met his now wife. (AGED UP)

-I just can't live with out you

❀Kenny mccormick x Fem! Reader❀

He really does love her, don't you think? (AGED UP)

divider by @k1ssyoursister

FANFICS!

-Pretty in Pink!

❀Yandere South park x a Girly! Fem! Reader❀

A cute popular girl vs. highschoolers, Can Y/n win their hearts over? (AGED UP TO 18 AND OVER)

-Chapter 1

-Chapter 2

-Chapter 3

-Better in Red

-Chapter 4

-Chapter 5

-Yandere headcanons (TW)

-Chapter 6

-Chapter 7

-Bathing Kenny headcanons

-Kyle shopping headcanons

-Chapter 8

-Choose your Soulmate!

Old name: Choose your character

❀Yandere south park x reader❀

Y/n finds themself playing a cute dating sim that includes lots of hot LIs! What could go wrong? GN! AGED UP!

-Tutorial

-Level one

-Level two

-Level Three

-Level four

-Level five

divider by @k1ssyoursister

HEADCANONS!

❀Smoking 🍃❀

-Smoking 🍃 with Stan, Kyle and Kenny

Smoking zaza with Stan, Kyle and Kenny. (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

-Smoking 🍃 with Craig, Clyde and Tweek

Smoking zaza with Craig, Clyde and Tweek (GN AGED UP)

-Smoking 🍃 with Damien thorn

Smoking zaza with Damien thorn (GN AGED UP)

❀Honest dating hcs❀

-Honest dating headcanons

What i think dating show accurate Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny would be like. (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

-Honest dating headcanons Part 2

What i think dating show accurate Craig, Tweak, Jimmy, Tolkien and Clyde would be like (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

❀Dating headcanons❀

-Damien thorn dating headcanons

How I imagine damien thorn would be in a relationship (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)

-Pip pirrip dating a female misunderstood and sweet reader

Pip pirrip dating a girl that sticks up for him.

(AGED UP)

-Mean! Jock! Stan Marsh x Weird kid! GN! Reader.

Bully! Jock! Stan marsh x Weird kid reader headcanons. GN AGED UP

-Watching a movie with Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Cartman.

How I imagine watching a film with the main 4 (seperate) would go (GN AGED UP)

-Watching a movie with Craig, Tweek, Tolkien and Jimmy

How I imagine watching a film with the Team Craig (seperate) would go (GN AGED UP)

-Dating Clyde Donovan headcanons

How dating Clyde Donovan would go! (GN AGED UP)

-Dating Kenny Mccormick headcanons

How dating Kenny Mccormick would go! (GN AGED UP)

-Kyle dating a hispanic GN reader

Kyle with a hispanic reader! (AGED UP GN)

-Cartman dating a trans FTM! Reader

Eric Cartman dating a trans FTM! Reader (AGED UP)

❀Super hero hcs❀

-Dating human kite headcanons (GN AGED UP)

-Dating mysterion headcanons (GN AGED UP)

❀Dating a girly female reader (AGED UP)❀

-Kenny dating a girly reader

-Kyle dating a girly reader

-Cartman dating a girly reader

-Stan dating a girly reader

-Stan dating headcanons part 2

-Craig dating a girly reader

-Tweek dating a girly reader

-Damien dating a girly reader

divider by @k1ssyoursister

[yourclumsyguardianangel]

the seven + a few others future headcanons

percy:

becomes a high school teacher

teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)

also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach

annabeth:

we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture

learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally

has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture

learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals

her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off

piper:

love her but shes a nepo baby

she doesnt act like it tho

”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”

loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi

marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights

is basically leos big sister atp

leo:

him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding

they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends

he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop

starts smoking cigarettes/vaping

his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so

goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma

they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it

he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him

piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship

hazel:

my girl stays at camp jupiter

takes nicos place at camp

horse trainer

her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho

hazel often visits leo in his shop

as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo

not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids

they all call her ms. hazel

she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)

wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO

frank:

my friggin HOMIE

i relate to frank a lot personality wise

therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO

hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties

but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”

other than that hes a great leader

after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)

him joining the military does not make sense to me

he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war

he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals

when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong

”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”

jason:

rip home-slice

nico:

my other homie

my guy does not get taller than 5’8

stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids

him and will get a house together

teaches history at the camp school

cat dad (5 cats and counting)

will:

takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler

him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT

EMTs are hotter anyways

does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time

if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students

[squipdop]

HIYAA !! im here to ask about your camp counsellor max au >:3 who is the camper that grows attached to max? do you have any sketches or a description? also what responsibilities does max have around the camp? does it change frequently or does he have a routine of stuff to do? i love this idea so much and I'm so glad to see that you have some content cooking up for this concept >:]

awaawa!! hii :]

yes!! i dont have much but i do have a few sketches!! her design isnt final yet, ill have to see how i feel about it going forward... and find colors i like LMAO

her name is adeline, her mom signed her up for summer camp (genuinely simply just 'summer camp' camp) because ade was really struggling to find friends and make connections on her own, and her parents thought summer camp would help her learn those skills!! unfortunately lots of new people all at once is. very scary and the plan didnt work. BUT she did latch onto max almost immediately! now she hardly leaves his side and wont join activities unless he does as well. oh boy.

max' duties are a BIT all over the place! lots of busywork, lots of clean up, he 'volunteers' for kitchen duty frequently (he WILL serve these kids edible food or god help him), david wants him to plan his own camp activities real bad but max kinda. dodges this so far. he also often is available for the kids later at night since he sleeps real late. nets him the added bonus of getting to sleep til breakfast and not having to do the wake up round. does he sometimes use his night time privileges to sneak off and smoke at the lake? maybe.

oh! not really a responsibility, but! there are a few times him and gwen set aside for paperwork and all - max is trying to get emancipated from his parents at this point.

ok this is Really Long so!!! thank u for asking 🥺 🥺 im glad u like this concept!!! its been cooking for years and i didnt expect ppl to really,, respond to it LMAO :'0 im very happy <3

[beauisoffline]

haii idk if you're still doing the SWTD headcanon ask thingies but do you perchance have any for Rennick.. begging emoji

i dont think i have a ton for rennick, but i can give u the ones i got!!

he is around 63-64 at the time of swtd

as said in a past post i made for roper hc's, i feel like him and roper knew eachother from childhood, living in the same neighborhood as roper, but rennick is around 6 years older than him.

He served in ww2, though i dunno what theater I'd put him in (pacific or atlanic)

rennick barely checks backgrounds because hes so cheap and needs a good workforce. if you do your job and stay in line, he'll let you work there (unless you bring the cops to his rig...)

rennick was very self conscious as a kid and teenager. when he got the promotion, all the power went to his head and he became an egotistical asshole.

He only tolorates addair. rennick knows how much of a prick addair is, but he gets the job done.

rennick sits outside on good days and drinks/smokes. it time was around when he had just hired finlay, which started their routine of meeting outside/inside his office to talk and drink coffee in the mornings.

speaking of finlay, she once found a photo of 5 year old rennick in his office during one of these talks and may or may not use it as blackmail to get things from time to time.

rennick despises doing taxes since he hates spending money.

[disruptxrr]

fucking hate it when people are talking about their kinks or addictions or issues or anything mildly controversial to a family friendly sheltered tiktok chronically online kid and their reaction is to go straight to the comments and say shit like "sharing is NOT always caring!!" "digital footprint exists you know…" "invest in a diary maybe?" "at least i have pink lungs!!" bitch shut the fuck up. if u dont like what u read just keep scrolling. look way. you arent legally fucking forced to give your opinion on fucking everything you come across. no one gives a fuck about your goddamn fucking pink lungs. unless it is something like racism or homophobia, someone smoking or liking to act like a dog while fucking wont affect your life . stop shaming people for stupid fucking reasons and shut the fuck up. you are all annoying as fuck and piss me the hell off

[laithraihan]

Would you be comfortable sharing any personal info (age, profession, relationship status, etc...)? Completely understand if you're not but it's always really interesting learning about the lives of ppl I admire. Again, if that's not something you wanna do it's totally understandable! I love your art!!

Ah thank you so much 🫶 and sure I dont mind sharing some stuff but to be very honest Im not an interesting person, so I'm sorry in advance for disappointing you.

So I'm a woman (or something like that) even though I use a male pen name for art, Im 22 years old, 151cm (4'11"), the eldest daughter who has two teenage siblings who are both taller than me and make fun of me for being short. I do not have a profession and I do not go to school due to a disability I will not disclose. Im a lesbian engaged to a butch, we've been together for almost 4 years (our anniversary is in August)

My favorite season is winter because all the bugs are dead and I despise summer because the bugs are alive. Im also really scared of butterflies for some reason. Im scared of winged bugs in general. Ive never seen a cockroach in my life but I'd probably kill myself if I saw one. I really hate bugs. The winters are harsh here but I like walking outside when theres light snow falling at night. Im also a bit obsessed with Christmas lights but I dont celebrate Christmas, I dont follow any religion in general but my family is Muslim so Ive been raised with that. If I could just put Christmas lights in my room all year then I would do that. They look really pretty.

About my ethnicity I think everyone knows Im Algerian already, well Ive only been to Algeria once when I was like 8 years old so I dont really remember anything. All I know is that my uncle would keep telling my dad that I convinced him to stop smoking and that he's eternally grateful for that but I literally cannot remember what I did or said back then so I just pretended I knew what he was talking about. Anyway. Id like to go there again one day. I most likely will go soon in the future so it makes me happy to think about it.

My first language is French and Im somewhat fluent in English but it needs more work. Whenever I speak English I have to think harder about the words that come out of my mouth and I start saying things that dont make sense. But my pronunciation is good so other people just assume Im fluent. Also I understand Derja (Algerian Arabic) when people talk to me out loud but I cant form sentences and respond back so I just answer people in French. I know how to read Arabic script and I understand basic words but again I cant form sentences. As for Japanese I can only read Hiragana and Katakana and a bit of Kanji, and my understanding of the language is worse than Arabic, so I practice by translating Japanese song lyrics, reading news articles and talking with Japanese users online

Honestly I dunno what else to say, I dont really have any special skills or anything like that. Unless you count memorizing all the metro stations in Montreal but thats only because I had to use public transport all the time when I was a kid because my parents never felt like driving me to my appointments. At that point I probably visited every single station because I had to go to many random places. I dont have a drivers license but I prefer walking to places in general even though there are no stores near my neighborhood, but I think it's better for me because I get to walk more. I think I really like the idea of travelling in general but I dont have friends for that, my parents also wouldnt allow me to hang out with friends so it's a bit unfortunate

Oh and lately Ive been enjoying making eggs for some reason, I think Im good at doing that. But I only cook whenever Im hungry and I rarely feel hungry so I dont cook many eggs. I also dont like cleaning dishes so I avoid making huge meals in general. I dont really eat much in the first place but I still like food. I really like going to restaurants too. I just like going outside in general. I like listening to music and talking with people, normal stuff like that. Im running out of things to say so I'll probably just stop there.

[thelittleswordsman]

"To think anyone could even stand against me"

-Gen'ichirou Fukuchi (15)

//Mod heree @angelicutz , i have never roleplayed a canon character before so bear with me if any mischaracterization happens. Same mod @timrava @french--devil and @srvantsbitterness//

//i am like 90% of the time open to asks because i live for interaction. Anyways here are the rules//

-

//Fukuchi is 15-16 years old here so no nsfw unless its like a lightly suggestive joke i suppose//

//Mod uses any pronouns but use He/Him for Fukuchi in this case//

//Mod is an anxious freak when it comes to roleplays so i might not reply immidietly//

//not much else to say, any character is welcome to interact including OCs. Have fun// -Mod Angel

- Timeline is somewhere in very Late 1960s or early 1970s japan i assume based on the mental math i did regarding the bsd timeline

Headcanons l

V

- Smokes weed

- Contrary to a popular belief he can cook REAL good actually like put him in a kitchen and you'll have a supply for an entire week

- is actually mostly Chinese and is fluent in it too, sometimes he will switch languages just for the shock value

-like the last statement he's exactly 3/4 chinese (his dad was half japanese)

- He cant do math for shit

- Chronic Insomniac

- Undiagnosed Adhd

- Borderline personality disorder

- banned from tesco for shoplifting

- spiky teeth

- Bisexual and cis male

- His hair isnt completly white, it actually has a blonde-ish tint

- Mole on right cheek

-Very sharp features and an upturned eyes and upturned nose

- is actually albino thats why he hates the sun because albinos are more prone to sun burn and cancer due to their lack of melanin and why he has yellowish gradient to his hair (the appearnce of albinos varies on race and asian albinos tend to have yellowish/yellow hair as i heard from google)

Forget

---

Facts about mod Angel/Bee!

- I paint and do traditional art

- i cry over children's songs alot

- I know suprisingly alot about traditional japanese kimonos and other clothing

- i can do traditional archery

- i have dyscalculia, Autism and Bipolar and suspected ptsd and maybe aspd

- i have a superiority complex bordering on god complex

- i am suprisingly convincing irl i dont know if that makes me a manipulator

- former tantrum kid

- I am slavic and yes i think fyodor is terrible slavic rep

- i have a fear of being percieved as racist so i do alot of research on cultures before stating my headcanons and opinions

- i am a teen extrovert lesbian

People who MIGHT be intrested

- "I CANT GO ONNN I WONT ACHIEVE ANYTHINGGG" <- sums up my mindset

This is me \

V

@god-motherofthegulf @myluckymoon

[anatrik]

First thoughts TTPD:

What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!

1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10

2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?

3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10

4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺

5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂

6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.

7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.

8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever

9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂

10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man

11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.

12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.

13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.

14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?

15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10

16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.

17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10

18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10

19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10

20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10

21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10

22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10

23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10

24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10

25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.

26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷‍♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10

27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10

28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss

29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.

30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10

31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.

[thesituation]

thc vape smoke is harmful to pets! I have a cat I adopted and wherever he was before they must have smoked heavily, he has scarring in his lungs and has asthma (dw he gets his medicine and inhaler now!) but all smoke whether tobacco or vape or weed or cigarettes is harmful to them just like it technically is to humans

that’s def good to know, i was kidding btw in case anyone’s worried lol i take tiny hits that i exhale thru my nose and have a window fan and a standing fan running all the time in my room (the only place i vape) so theres never any cloud or anything. so hes not rlly inhaling anything unless he gets up in my face but i dont vape if hes near my face lol, i swear im a responsible pet owner slash stoner

[fastofthekillones]

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I'm just going to pin this post and use it to find weird tags that I have inexplicably written on something, mostly for my own gratification, but if any of you wonderful weirdos wanna look, feel free