#dont quote me on that my last few months have been insane

[universesinoureyes]

/

[clownattack]

Whenever i am told thangs abt the leech i just go. What an embarrassing person gosh

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for getting into a screaming match with a neighbour after he harrassed me for months for being sick?

im gonna start this by saying i dont *think* im the asshole. i more just wanted to share this insane story and maybe get some other points of view on it.

i (22nb) got really sick back in april. like rush to a&e multiple times sick. i tested multiple times but it wasnt covid. it later turns out my cold-like symptoms and my horrendous cough were caused by allergies. it took about 3 months to finally dull it down and feel okay again. i take meds everyday and im still not 100% because the allergen (pollen) persists.

but in this 3-month period of me being sick we found we kept getting knocks on our door. it was our upstairs neighbour (approx 50m). the first time he knocked at 3 in the morning to complain about how my coughing was keeping him awake. he rambled through the door for like 15 minutes about my coughing and demanded we move our bed to the front room so he couldnt hear my coughing anymore.

i, having already been feeling guilty and anxious about being sick because my fiancé (27m) had to take care of me and i lost my job over the situation, decided i was gonna go for a walk. i was really upset and i wanted some fresh air (which at the time i thought would help).

the next morning, the neighbour came down again to inform us that we should keep sleeping in the front room until i recover because he slept so great that night. we informed him that we in fact did not sleep in the front room and i hadnt even been in the flat.

a few days go by and we get another knock at the door. its thankfully daytime and hes talking through the door again. hes demanding that we move into the front room because we are the ones causing the noise disturbance. (once again, i am very sick. paramedics were round at our house 2 days prior to look me over).

we say no to this and he says hes going to get our estate agent to resolve this because we, and i quote, "are being selfish".

a few more days pass and our estate agents inform us that theyre coming to do an inspection. naturally they get here and they want to know my fiancé and i's side of the story. we tell them im very sick and they are very understanding because the neighbour said as much when they put in the noise disturbance complaint. they tell us not to worry and theyll tell the neighbour that hes being silly.

two or three weeks go by and we hear nothing. until one day, whilst my fiancé is at work, he decides to harrass me personally because he knows im home alone. he demands to know exactly what im doing to fix this, tells me how its bothering our other neighbours (who had said nothing to us) and tells me its affecting his quality of life. (i was the one coughing so hard i was vomiting for about two weeks but his quality of life was the one inconvenienced???) in the end, he slinks off back upstairs like usual and i then ring the estate agents to complain about his continued harrassment.

this happens again another time when my fiancé and we start arguing through the door again. it was pretty much like the last few times.

but then, heres where we might be the assholes of the story. after weeks of repeated knocks and lengthy complaints and demands, he knocks again. it was 8am, my fiancé was still sleeping for work. my fiancé woke up to him complaining at me through the door again and lost it. this man was knocking to ask if it was okay to move back into his bedroom because the coughing seemed to have gone down. he wanted us to assure him that i wouldnt get sick again. we opened the door to him for the first time (after giving warning) and got into a screaming match with him. of course in the time it took between giving warning and opening the door, he had scurried upstairs and was yelling at us from there.

i think theres a possibility we are the assholes because the screaming match would have been heard by our downstairs neighbour who was not involved in this at all. we did write him a letter to apologise for this but i still feel kinda shitty about it.

i went back to the estate agents after and reported him again saying if they didnt deal with him, id look into taking legal action for harrassment. its been about a month now and weve heard nothing from him since.

What are these acronyms?

[antiadvil]

thank u for being the migraine advocate around here it’s nice to see someone giving context to what phil and other migraine sufferers (like me!) deal with. i have recently started actually doing something more about my head issues than just taking utterly useless NSAIDs as needed so i dont know a lot of things yet and i didn’t know there was a word for that extreme touch sensitivity! its been especially tough since i have been dealing with 2 slow-healing ear piercings that are still pretty sensitive so i cant really have my hair down but then it also hurts to put it up 🙄 so frustrating!! anyway yeah phil is insane for the hat thing id rather die than have anything wrapped around my head like that

ahhh that means a lot to hear :') this quote is probably garbled bc it's like third or fourthhand by now but someone once told someone else that part of everyone's migraine treatment plan should be activism and somehow that quote made its way to me and i thought it was kind of silly at first but i get it now. i was like how is raising migraine awareness going to help me?? i am already aware of my migraines?? and then i realized that a big part of how i got this bad was a complete lack of understanding about my condition on so many levels and i was like oh. ohhhhhhhhh. it's too late for early intervention for me but i hope that by sharing my experiences ppl can learn from my mistakes. my migraines are super genetic, both sides of the family get bad headaches and my younger siblings have really similar headache patterns to me when i was their age, so it brings me a lot of comfort to know that whatever happens with my headaches, my siblings are better positioned to deal with theirs because of what we've learned from my experiences.

i'm glad to hear you're doing something more about your migraines!! i hope things go well for you. migraine treatment can be such a painful slog sometimes but i hope you find something that helps quickly and with minimal side effects. i love to see ppl discover treatment options other than ibuprofen bc i used to think that normal pain meds were the only way to treat headaches and i was like well no one's going to give me opioids so if ibuprofen doesn't work i should just go die i guess :') and i was right that no one was going to give me opioids lmao but i didn't realize that there were migraine-specific options. i also didn't realize that i was getting migraines but you know! that's a whole separate thing.

and the earring thing sounds super annoying! that's another downside to getting a daith piercing that i didn't consider lmao. tbh one of the reasons i'm cutting my hair (it's pretty long right now) is it's difficult to take care of when i can't put it up. i never realized how often i need to put my hair in a ponytail until it started hurting lol.

also, migraines are soooo complicated and can have so many weird symptoms, i was really lucky that the doctor who did my neurology intake was super thorough when taking a history and explained that a lot of problems i had been dealing with were actually migraine related. i'd been dealing with some weird low-level but constant congestion for a while and my neck was always stiff and achy and i thought it was maybe allergies or something wrong with my pillow but OOPS turns out those are just migraine symptoms. and there's a lot of terminology that i didn't know either, i still cringe at my misuse of the word aura for a few months (i thought it was just any migraine symptom that wasn't a headache 😭) and i also did not know what chronic migraines meant lmao. i was correct when i said i had chronic migraines but only on accident (i thought it was like, chronic if you kept getting them for months/years, bc usually chronic just means a long lasting condition but for migraines it refers to a specific number of headache/migraine days per month). and like it's just words and i don't want to place too much importance on words but it's nice to know that other people experience the same symptom and knowing medical words makes research and dealing with doctors easier. i have probably gone a little bit insane and definitely do not need to know as much about migraines as i do but oh well :') i've always felt the need to understand my treatment options and the medications i'm taking, and i am proud of the amount that i know about migraines and migraine medication and my medication specifically.

unfortunately, the wad hat remains a medical mystery, lmao, phil said it helped with migraines from his phone so i thought maybe it was a light thing?? but he seemed to think it was the pressure helping, and i do get why that helps some people when they already have a headache (even though it doesn't work out very well for me), so maybe it's just like, light sensitivity causing a headache but the headache usually goes away when he stops looking at the light? i get headaches like that sometimes, where they go away when the light source/other trigger goes away, the thing is, i always have some level of a migraine, and phil's said he doesn't get the painful ones continuously (which is what i have lmfao). but i've heard of some people with chronic migraine dealing with symptoms like photophobia during the interictal phase (and idk if he's still dealing with continuous vestibular symptoms in which case it's not really interictal anyways), so maybe it's something like that? i need someone to study phil's wad cap under a microscope. i don't expect like, broadly applicable results from this study, i just need to know.

[dancing-cockroaches]

HoooolYYYYY CRAPPOLAAAA

Since me and my husband moved, we no longer needed renters insurance. It was bundled with my auto through Allstate. We could share a renters policy, but even then had to have separate auto. They were like sorry y'all are pretty much strangers to eachother come back when its official. So anyway now that it's not bundled, my car insurance skyrocketed past $400 a month. I drive a fucking kia soul by the way, nothing fancy, insurance charges are just insane here. That's on the lower end I've been quoted, because oh bitch I looked.

So I know I say "my husband", we got into that habit despite the fact our marriage license [application/information] is still sitting at the marriage bureau. A few hiccups caused the finalization to be delayed. Literally last second at the ceremony, as in right before it, we had to be like "oh yeah uh.. due to sudden circumstances we're gonna need that paperwork to not be official so this is just gonna be like a last second symbolic thing now". So they gave us a (very obviously fake) souvenir one instead lmaooo. Like health insurance (being on his policy would be pricey, being married would make me unable to remain under my dads). But right now, I don't give a rat's ass about health insurance despite the fact my body is in such shambles (inability to stay asleep for more than 3 hours, complete loss of appetite, severe eczema covering my already sickly skeletal appearance. My entire abdomen/tittays, back, arms, bootayy, reaching up my neck & collarbone to my face shit is painful bitch it fuckin hurteth) that it's noticeable enough to make others look at me in shock like "damn bitch you are not ok, I am legitimately concerned". Like yeah I should really go to a doctor, I can go a month without it until insurance kicks in from my new job. At this point, fuck health insurance it's no longer my primary concern, that would be car insurance since I legally need it to get to work and make money to pay that ridiculous amount. I could be told I have a severe staph infection from my eczema (a small part of a particularly bad area is already starting to possibly look infected, no I DO NOT scratch it, I know that just makes it worse, i always either use an ice pack or rub with the palm of my hand) and the first thing on my mind would be "ok bitch who cares when I'm having to pay HALF A GRAND FOR FUCKING CAR INSURANCE".

The thing is, my man's got that USAA savings. Already got a quote on my car if it were under his policy, shit would drop down to around $50-$100. I immediately called him up like "we gotta get that paperwork finalized. I dont care if I have to drag a random bystander off the street to be the damn witness, or if we have to do it at 2 am or whatever weird time since the bureau is open 24/7, I ain't paying over $400 a month". So this weekend. Definitely. Hopefully. Because Allstate over here trying to make my heart stop with their bullshit.

Getting married for health insurance is out, getting married for auto insurance is in.

[demadogs]

I know, i know 😭 (30% anon here). It's not that i think the idea is absurd at all, like you listed so many good things!! I'm just trying to actively lower my own expectations because i'm the type who gets really invested and then consequently really disappointed (though i guess since this is tumblr most of us are that type lmao). I'm just used to shows not following through with subtext, and i'm not only talking about gay subtext, but all different kinds of plots. I hear you though, trust me!

Since i'm already in your inbox, i have a question: have you been around for a while? What's the history of the byler ship? Was it always popular? Did people always think there might be a serious chance or was it more of a crackship? Were there any popular theories that came true or that were completely false? Since i'm super new to the show myself i'm curious!

yeah i totally get it. my brain is just not wired to be able to have lower expectations for something that his this much evidence for. im either 100% confident in something in a show or i have absolutely no idea whats gonna happen lmao.

i only started being active in this fandom a few months ago but ive shipped byler and followed lots of byler blogs for years. people started shipping byler after s2 came out. i didnt see anything about it during s1 because they literally had two scenes together and there was almost nothing really to work with. but when i watched s2 when it first came out i distinctly remember thinking “….is anybody else seeing this?? am i crazy orrr?” and then i went on here and found a small fandom of people who shipped them too so i was like “ok cool nice”. at this point it was mostly gifsets of their scenes together and maybe some edits and we hadnt established whether we were gonna spell it byeler or byler yet lmao. then i found @kaypeace21 and she was the first person i saw ever actually analyze it and really start to believe that everything might be intentional.

before i followed her, i never even considered that they might actually go through with byler. i think that was the case for most people during s2. i shipped it in the same way i currently ship ronance and steveddie. i thought they were cute and had good chemistry but i never believed it would go anywhere because of mlvn and also just the doubt that an insanely popular 80s scifi show would put their main characters in a gay relationship. i still loved reading kaypeace’s analyses but i wasnt convinced yet. then s3 came out and that changed everything for me and a lot of other people.

i watched s3 the day it came out hoping for some crumbs of byler but again, not at all expecting anything evident of them actually going through with it. it was kinda just in the back of my mind bc i love this show mostly for the supernatural plot. but during their fight scene when mike said “its not my fault you dont like girls” i was shocked. that convinced me that at least will would have a crush on mike but i still wasnt sure about mike until that painfully awkward kiss on the last episode. it wasnt until a few months later i rewatched that season and went back to kaypeace and found SO many things that i missed!! mike not letting el touch him when they kissed, the drastic tone and aesthetic difference between the break up and the byler fight, the frame of mike perfectly in a closet when they kissed!! i was completely sold then and so were a lot of people. i also think it was around this time that finn liked some byler art that had the quote “im not gonna fall in love” on it so that made a lot of people like 👀.

then everything the cast and duffers have said leading up to volume one only increased my confidence. i went into volume one completely expecting more obvious queer coding and i was right to. i was already overly confident but the biggest thing from volume one that made me more confident wasnt even a byler scene, it was mike and el’s fight. im glad they had her explicitly call him out for not saying he loves her. they kinda had to spell it out for the general audience. that was a really good scene and the fact that they played eulogy over it!!!?? insane. i lost my mind when i watched that episode a second time and realized that. that is 10000% intentional and the only explanation could be that that fight was the death of their relationship.

anywho yeah ive shipped them almost since the beginning and its been so fun slowly realizing that theyre actually going to do this and watching it build up and seeing the general audience start to catch on. it added a whole other layer to a show that already would have been my favorite either way just because of the plot alone.

[losersclublol]

kinda weird and odly specific (fem) stozier bff head cannons !!!

stan has only ever let her bare feet out around richie

they quote the twins from like that one snl sketch. wait lemme specify. this one and they quote all the john mulany ones. like “we’re so close we finish eachother..” “off”. “his bootys real” “but my personality is fake”

they do those smule duets together and it’s a hot fucking mess but kinda good???

stupid. fucking. tiktoks.

so many

richie insists that they only do like one but they’re both on a friendship high and end up making like 20 and they’re all messy yet funny and good

a few of them blew up

cause why wouldn’t they. like you take richie, an actual comedian, and stan, an actual comedian who just won’t get paid for it. and you get comedic genius with the right amount of fruityness

ew no but matching pjs at sleepovers omg

sleepovers would either be like “we need sleep but you’re at my house” or “almost breaking something whilst having an amazing time and oh wow how did that get in your hair”

stan does richies hair at least once a month and she keeps telling richie to just do her hair like this and it’ll look this good all the time and richie keeps saying she will but noooooooo she doesn’t cause she’s a little dirt girl who has to look messy

they make the weirdest but best snacks together (i used to dip cabbage in lemonade, it was bomb)

they make little cooking videos/vlogs but it’s just stan looking tired and doing a good job, richie getting lost and confused and both of them losing everything they put down

“anyway now we need the spatula to mix it all up… where is the spatula” “how tf would i know dumbass you had it last” “okay don’t be mean stancy but seriously where is it i just had it” “bro i don’t know just retrace your steps or something idk… wait no where tf is it it’s not here” “see what i mean???” *confused looking* “omg where is it” “it’s gonna burn !” “no ! we made that together ! where is it !!!” *even more confused and stressed looking* “I DONT KNOW “ *harmonised screaming* “wait no no no it’s fine i’ll just turn the heat off for now” “oh thank god you’ve saved us,,, wait nvm no need i found it !” “where was it?” “oh the counter right next to us” “omg”

they’re the only ones who can see each others like ugly cackle only for bff snorty loud yet so silent laugh (please tell me you know what one i’m talking about)

the amount of times they’ve gotten in trouble for laughing so much omg

one time richie made them “hold hands” with their feet

she got punched but she got a picture so it’s worth it

their contact photos for eachother are the both best and worst pictures they have of the other

no other losers can see them

stozier eyes only

they definitely had one of those joint bff instagram accounts when they were like 12

omg musically

they had a shared account on musically too and it is the best thing ever made

HOLY SHIT ITS A GOLD MINE

“honey you already know i’m the slomo queen” and it’s just them doing some stupid ass spin with glasses on or something

stan has glasses

reading kinda glasses not like richies blind ass ones

omg no stan being farsighted is so funny to me tho i’ve thought about it before

like she can see birds like a mile away but walks into every fucking pole ever

she just can’t see them (how?? idk)

they share clothes

obviously

but when one of them comes over to the others house for a sleepover they just immediately change into whatever clothes is there

shared wardrobe

y’know my dad once put on my sisters jeans and they fit

sorry back on topic

i hate to be the one to say it but

they were each other’s first kiss and you can not tell me they weren’t

it’s up to you how it happens but it did

stans scared of spiders and richie takes advantage of that as much as possible (within reason she’s not an asshole)

she used the like spider on your face filter r to scare stan and it worked

she horror screams every time

THIS MASSIVE FUCKING SPIDER JUST CRAWLED OVER ME AND ITS LOST WTF

no no no fuck this no no

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF NO

kms

i meant “i’m” but like yeah sure

anyways i’m sleeping downstairs tonight

they make up insane stories about stans bat mitzvah bc they were the only losers there

they shoot the straw wrappers at each other no doubt

have been mistaken for a couple too many times to count

they hold hands when they’re out and about (cause stan feels anxious and needs constant reassurance that she’s not gonna be left alone, also cause bffs)

they’ve got like ten of the bff necklaces and bracelets

like those wee bacon and egg ones that have the words “best” and “friends” on it

(stan got the bacon one)

they’re both lactose intolerant but have ice cream dates

whenever they have like picnics stan always brings perfectly cut fruit and nice sandwiches and food and stuff and richie brings all the snacks that they both like

stans like the mum who makes the cute little bentos

soup making omg

they’ve 100% cosplayed like heather chandler and veronica and like oh god i don’t wanna say it but bakudeku HDHSJXBHXHAJSNSN

i’m sorry but it’s funny

it was unintentional at first tho

richie was doing the deku voice for a tiktok and stan was telling her to stfu and people ran with it

WHY IS THAT SO FUNNYHXVSHXB BHSKSMSM N JEJNS

they’ve definitely ugly cried together

well of course

but it still had to be said

and like cuddles awwwwww

also they genuinely love eachother

whether it’s romantic or platonic they are like soulmates to me

well to me all the losers are soulmates but stozier are just the ultimate best friends

okay y’know what i’m gonna end this here

also i have no clue how to do the read more things apologies

oh and if anyone has any tips on how to do it in the mobile that would be so appreciated !!!

[notquiteaghost]

⭐ for “when we see each other”!

(fic here; director's commentary ask meme) i hope u were wanting me to yell about ghost company because i am gonna yell about ghost company. also do quotes still? work?? im sorry if quotes dont work

Losing Waxer was so hard on Boil, they’d not expected him to make it much longer. That was generally how it went, those last few months, squads and batchmates following each other like dominoes. But Boil didn’t get careless. He got angry. Spiteful. I’m making it out this alive and I’m taking you all with me, he spat once, as he kept pressure on a still nameless shiny’s thigh.

If anyone was going to kidnap Cody, it would be Boil.

i cant remember if the actual structure of ghost has come up in fic yet but. fun fact! waxer is a captain! ghost has four lieutenants, who each have a platoon, then waxer above them, then cody above waxer. this is meant to be so overseeing the nitty gritty running of a company isn't cody's problem but in practice he just backseat drives a lot because he has control issues. waxer gets promoted to sergeant after ryloth, then to captain like two months later. before that ghost doesn't technically have a captain, in that on paper their captain is kabu & in practice if it's not a medic problem it's not kabu's problem

anyway, boil is just a sergeant. he never gets formally promoted because by the time waxer dies ghost's command structure isnt even a flimsy pretence, ghost's command structure is 'whoever yells the loudest and/or has medic training'. boil did NOT get CC training he did NOT qualify as a medic he is a SNIPER. stop! asking him! to sign things!

When Obi-Wan finally moves his head back, Cody brings a hand up and gently wipes away the tears. He says, voice thick, "Thought I killed you."

"No," Obi-Wan swears, vehement, "No, it wasn't you. And I'm here. I'm right here."

"Yeah," Cody rasps. "Found you."

Nowhere you can go I won't follow, he'd said, vowed, their hands clasped in the hangar bay, blood still trailing down his face. Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome.

cody & obi-wan get married entirely on impulse, after a particularly devastating battle just over two years into the war. depending on how u count it they've either not been together six months yet or it's been a year n a half. kabu is a witness entirely because they're convinced either one of them is about to collapse from blood loss. also there is anakin, because obi-wan can't snark about not being invited to his wedding otherwise. the actual ceremony is not even a little legally binding and performed by wooley and not even ten minutes long. they save speeches for when theyre back on coruscant because kabu wont let any of them have alcohol when they are all still actively bleeding.

"We need you," Fluke adds. She's sat to Boil's left, Rex to his right. Rex and Boil are arguing, quietly, through pre-flight checks. "Gotta get Kabu and Ely, next. They've got my fucking platoon."

Obi-Wan looks to Boil, raises an eyebrow at Fluke.

"Only me that went to Kamino," Fluke says. "Kabu and Ely were on Ehn's transport, off Utapau. Haven't seen any of them since."

"We'll find them," Obi-Wan promises, without thinking.

Fluke grins at him, knife sharp, and says, "Good to have you back, sir."

boil is part of fluke's platoon! fluke & waxer are batchmates :) kabu's chip was also fucked (my lowkey fix-it justification is the chips degrade over time & the older a clone is the more likely their chip won't work as intended. this wasnt always a good thing tho). kabu sedated the entire platoon, drove the shuttle themself to the nearest civilian medical facility, then held a lot of people at gunpoint until they worked out what the fuck had happened and how to fix it. did a lot of brain surgery. bounced for a backwater little moon somewhere & then had to sedate people a lot more because ghost are insane and no one wanted to be sat twiddling their thumbs when they could be helping, so what if there's a shoot on sight order! are you saying they're incompetent!

which is to say: fluke's platoon is fine. it takes them a while to find them, because it's a big galaxy & the imps are really cracking down on communications, but they DO find each other and they DO then wreak havoc. rex misses his crazy people.

[fandom-collective-writers]

Reader x Vanderwood - Good to be Home

Title: Good to be Home

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Character: Vanderwood

Genre: ;)

Warnings: it smecci

Kinks: PHONE SEX, dirty talk, masturbation, vibrator, edging, dont worry theres actual sex in here, standing sex, daddy/babygirl (name calling)

Intended Gender Audience: Female Audience 

Word Count: 2000 words

Requested by: Anon!

Quote: Smut quote “You’re going to regret that, sweetheart.”

Shameless self-promo: check out my blog here!  

Other comments: DAMN i been thirsting for some vanderwood smut lately ngl and i was really happy when i saw this request~ 11/10 for this motivation image – I did have to edit the prompt a bit to make it fit! also, posting it a few hours early because i have to sleep early! hope you enjoy~

You are about to wash some dishes when an unknown number calls your cell. This is not something uncommon. Seeing as Vanderwood was on missions all the time, he was not allowed to have a personal cell number. Instead, he called you from any phone available – hence the unknown numbers. 

          After quickly taking the gloves off, you answer the call. “Vanderwood?” 

         There is a moment of silence that makes you question if it’s actually him, but then you hear the token grunt he makes before he sits down. “Hey.” His voice is low and raspy, and you’ve almost forgotten the roughness of it because he has been away for so long. “What are you doing?” 

         You pad over to the couch and sling your legs over the arm. “Nothing real–”

         “Good. Can you do something for me?” 

         It is less of a question and more of a command – you immediately sit up, thinking that something is wrong. “Are you okay?” 

         When the line goes quiet, your heart starts to thunder. 

         “Yeah, I’m fine. I have some time to myself and wanted to talk to you.”

         Exhaling slowly, you relax and rake your fingers through your hair. 

         Vanderwood laughs on the other side and you hear brief shuffling. “Did you get worried?” 

         “Well– yes! I don’t know what could happen to you while you’re out there. I just… get anxious when you do that silence thing.” 

         “Silence thing?” 

         Curling some hair around your finger, you bite your lip. “Well… sometimes you go quiet before you respond to things, and I just jump to the worst conclusions.” It feels good to get this off of your chest – you feel relieved now that you have shared it with him. 

         “You don’t have to worry about me. Alright?” 

         “Okay… What was that thing you wanted me to do?”

         You can almost hear the smirk stretching across his lips. “It’s in the bedroom. I left a surprise for you before I left. Go check it out.” 

         Now excited, you jump off the couch and make your way to your room. “Where is it?” 

         “Nightstand on my side. Top drawer. Has a big red bow on it. You really can’t miss it.” 

         Keeping the phone under your ear, you sit on the bed and open the drawer as instructed… but you are not expecting to find a hot pink vibrator with a red ribbon bow tied around the top. You pick it up, half gasping as you touch it, and then turn over the card to read the message on it. So you don’t get lonely. -V

         “Do you like it?” 

         You struggle to find your words, but then manage a weak yes. 

         “Why don’t you try it out?” He is trying to reign in his laughter. “But stay on the phone.” 

         At his comment, you completely flush. “You mean like… phone sex?” 

         “Yeah. You want to try it?” 

         Now, your heart is racing for a completely different reason. It is hard to say you are not tempted to agree, but also, you have never tried anything like this before. Still though, you lean back against his pillow and clutch the vibrator with one hand. “Are you going to tell me what to do?” 

         Vanderwood swallows hard. “Are you going to listen, baby girl?” 

         “Yes, daddy~” 

         It was too easy to not reply with the name, and you know that Vanderwood likes it. “Hhh… take your underwear off. They’re going to be soaked otherwise–”

         As fast as you can, you kick off your shorts and panties, leaving you only in your shirt and bra. As you spread your legs apart, you take the ribbon off and toss it into the corner of the room. “Okay. Now…?” 

         “Turn it to the lowest setting and rub it against your inner thighs. Don’t think about touching your pussy just yet,” he demands, his voice on edge. 

         You wonder if he’s getting off while listening to you, and just thinking about it makes your stomach flip. “Why not?” 

         “Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean I can’t edge you.” More shuffling comes through the line, but then his voice cuts through the white noise. “Be a good girl and listen to me. I’ll help you feel good.” 

         His voice drips with temptation and is completely irresistible. You want to hear him say everything, and you will gladly do it as well. So you press the round button, turning the toy on. It vibrates in your hand, and before Vanderwood can remind you what to do, you rub the head over the inside of your thighs. It’s so close to your clit, that you are tempted to disobey Vanderwood, but you decide against it. As the rubber touches your skin, it sends electric pulses to your core. 

         A moan slips from your lips, but you cover your mouth and hope that Vanderwood does not hear it. He does though, and snickers in response to it. “Aroused already? When was the last time you touched yourself?” 

         Swallowing the urge to shove the vibrator into your folds, you whimper softly. “It’s been.. a while.” 

         “A while?”

         “Since you left.” 

         You hear Vanderwood stand up. “You haven’t fucked yourself in a month?” 

         “Vanderwood! Don’t say it like that.” 

         “Turn the vibrator off.” 

         “But–”

         “Turn. It. Off.”

         Whining you push the button and turn the toy off. You let it fall from your hand and you slump down into the bed. “Well now you’re going to make me wait more?” 

         “You’re going to regret telling me that, baby girl. Turn it back on to the third setting and put it directly on your clit. But don’t grind against it, just let the vibrator do its job.” 

         This sounds like torture, but you do it anyways and press the head between your folds. The second it touches your bud, you throw your head back and moan. This setting is much stronger than the first one, and you immediately feel your muscles tense. “V-Vanderwood, please–”

         “Nuh-uh. Drag it across your cunt. Slowly.”

         “D-Daddy…”

         Vanderwood grunts. “Do it.” 

         You relent and do as you are told. The toy slides against you, and you realize that you are already more wet than you expected. It feels amazing, especially since you have not indulged in something like this in a while. Still, you wish that Vanderwood were there to do it himself. You miss his warmth and the way he drags his calloused fingers over your skin. 

         “I can’t hear you moaning. Louder.” 

         So you set the phone down and put it on speaker phone. Even though he never gave you specific permission, you grind the head against yourself, making your clit pulsate. “I–I’m going to cum–”

         Vanderwood exhales sharply. “Keep going.” 

         You put a leg up and turn on your side slightly. Muffling your moans with the pillow, you whine, praying that you’ll reach your release soon. Vanderwood licks his lips and groans. “Turn the vibrator off.” 

         “What?!” 

         “You heard me. Turn it off.”

         “But–”

         “Babygirl…”

         You’re about to cum, but you know that you’ll moan the second you do, so you turn the toy off and drop it. Your legs are shaking and your high escapes quickly. “Why did you–”

         But before you can finish your question, Vanderwood pushes the door to your bedroom and walks in. He’s holding the phone in one hand and the other is hanging loosely off of the waistband of his pants. While keeping his gaze locked with yours, Vanderwood smirks. “Hey baby girl. Miss me?” 

         His voice echoes through your phone, and he hangs up before closing the distance between you and him. Vanderwood grips your wrists and pulls you up from the bed. “V-Vanderwood! You didn’t tell me you were coming home!” 

         He smirks and catches your lips in a deep kiss. “I had to get you warmed up. It’s been too long since we did this…” Vanderwood pushes you against the frame of your canopy bed and takes a moment to remove his shirt. The hidden holsters are still strapped to his muscular arms and toned chest. He does not bother to take them off, and you aren’t really complaining because they rather turn you on. 

         You move to help him with his belt, but Vanderwood grips your hands once more and keeps you pinned down. He pushes his pants and boxer briefs down just enough so that his cock is exposed – it is erect and dripping with precum. 

         He’s been here all along, you realize. He wanted to tease me and get me ready for this. 

         “You ready?” 

         Even if you say yes, you are definitely not ready for the sensation of Vanderwood stretching you. Somehow, he is larger than you remember, and you cry out as his tip rubs against your slick walls. He grips your thigh and pulls your leg to rest over his hip, giving him more access to your cunt. 

         You don’t dare hold back this time. Moans fall from your lips as Vanderwood thrusts into you. The bed creaks, so you throw your arms over his shoulders and drag your nails across his shoulder blades. “I missed you so much…” 

         Vanderwood grinds against you, pushing himself deep into you – he hits the spot that he knows makes you go insane. “Yeah? I can tell. Your pussy is pulsating around me.” His caramel hair falls over his eyes, so you push it back quickly and smile at him. 

         “V–Vanderwood–”

         He nips the skin of your collarbone. “Yes baby girl?” 

         “Are you going to edge me again?” 

         “Hm…” Vanderwood tips his head back slightly when you clench down on him tightly. Biting his lip, he digs his fingertips into the supple flesh of your thigh. “How badly do you want to cum?” 

         You whine and arch your back against him. “Really bad…” 

         “Oh?”

         “Daddy please.” 

         Again you say that, and again Vanderwood has a hard time restraining himself. Every time the name falls from your lips, he wants to fuck you senseless – but Vanderwood swallows the fantasies and saves them for another day. He bends his head to meet your nipple, and after giving it a soft lick, he teeths on it. 

         “Say that again. I’ve missed your voice.” 

         Your mind goes blank as he grips you tightly. You have forgotten how skilled he is with his tongue – it rolls over your skin as he sucks and bites on you, marking you, teasing you. “D-Daddy!”

         “Fuck,” he groans in response. “Cum.” 

         “What?” 

         Vanderwood leans down against you and kisses the soft skin behind the back of your ear. “Cum for me.” His hand slips down to grab your ass, and he pushes you down harder onto his cock. It rubs against your most sensitive spot, and you tense before releasing – almost on command. 

         He bucks back and forth, now panting heavily, and his hair tickles your skin. Just as you feel his muscles contracting inside of you, Vanderwood pulls out and pumps himself hard. Still in a daze, you close your eyes and feel his seed paint your skin. It is warm and dribbles down your stomach. 

         As you come to it, Vanderwood presses his forehead against yours. “Damn… it’s good to be home, baby girl.” He pulls out and you slump against him. 

         “You had to do the whole fiasco to tell me that?” You laugh and pull him down for a sloppy kiss. 

         His arms wrap around your waist and he brings you flush against his chest. “Is that suggesting that you aren’t happy I’m back? Well this is awkward then.” 

         “No! Of course I’m happy you’re home–” 

         Vanderwood slaps your bare ass, making you yelp. He steps back and takes his pants and underwear off completely. “Then let’s clean up. I want to spend time with you tonight.” With that, he winks and pads off to the bathroom. 

         You lean back against bed frame and inhale slowly. 

         Damn he looks good walking away from you. 

[remmiesaloser]

13 Years | 4 Weeks

honestly, I dont know which of the two have been longer in my life. 

so recently I ended a 13 year long relationship with the guy I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. it took me this long to understand, acknowledge, and accept the relationship was emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive and thanks two my two best friends and a very nice therapist I asked him to move out.

I thought the overwhelming life style change would be the hardest. I haven't been alone since I was 14 and it took me a long time to build up the courage to end things because I am terrified of change and had little to no idea what to do without him. to my surprise I've adapted to being alone pretty well. the loneliness does get to me sometimes - I miss those moments we had where we could have a conversation without speaking. I miss over a decade’s worth of inside jokes, and it still hurts when I see something and instantly think of him cause it was our thing.

its a daily struggle to remind myself why I did this because its frighteningly easy to minimize the damage he did when he’s not here to do it every day. the gaslighting and emotional manipulation isn't something that just switches off or diminishes with distance. somehow, in some super shitty, unfair way, it gets worse. because im left alone with my thoughts that he’s managed to turn against me and they’re still working angles for him that catch me off-guard sometimes. I still battle with guilt for making him move out, because I feel terrible that now he’s stuck living with his mom and all his things are in boxes. and I hate that it’s gonna take a long time for that to go away. 

but I digress. because all of that isn’t the hardest part. the hardest part is getting him the fuck out of this apartment. we 'ended things’ April 5th. there are quotes around that because we haven’t officially broken up. like, I told him I needed a break till he gets his shit together, and he’s all but moved out, but I haven’t even changed our relationship status on Facebook (yay, guilt!) and we haven't really agreed that we’re broken up. Jesus, again I digress. ANYWAYS. I knew it was gonna be a process to move him out because our lives are so intertwined that we’ve had to go through rooms and drawers and boxes one by one separating our shit. and this process has been fucking agonizing because he is dragging his goddamn feet. 

Initially I thought we were gonna bang this out in a weekend, get all the shit out and be done. A month later, and there’s still a pile of his shit at the top of the stairs, a handful of things in the corner of the living room (including the giant china cabinet filled with his things) and his grandmother’s dishes in my cupboards. but that’s a post for another day. because right now im just gonna vent about him taking his sweet ass time, being insanely petty, and still somehow fucking manipulating me when he doesn’t even live here anymore. 

honestly the pettiness and inconsideration for my own time and requests is the biggest thing that’s getting to me, what’s driving me to write this. most of the time he’s been here for his shit, his mom’s been with him, and I was chalking up a lot of the pettiness to her. because he’d be here to get the things from the living room, and hours after they'd left I’d notice small things had been taken from other parts of the house. now some of the stuff he’s taken was his, just something I was using with him that I’d assumed he’d at least mention he was taking. im a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them and honestly unless it’s something from my family or something that I bought that was expensive, I don’t care. he can have it. It’s more the fact that, when I need something all of a sudden I cant find it and realize he took it. 

like, his nana’s pots and pans. They’re a really nice set his mom let us have and I fully expected them gone. my only request was that he give me a heads up so I could go out and get my own set when he planned to take them because with them gone, all I’d have left is a few frying pans. This is our conversation from that weekend:  

This was Saturday afternoon. He never told me he wasn’t going to come by Saturday, and gave me a 15 minute heads up he was on his way over on Sunday - which did me no good because I wasn’t even home. That meant I couldn’t clean out the dressers (I didnt want to do it until the day he was going to get them because I would have to leave my clothes on the bed until I could get my own dresser from my parent’s house once his were gone). When I got home, all of my clothes were thrown on my bed and the ground.I had to rewash a bunch of shit, refold everything, and then clean the entire room from the mess that was made. 

fucking on top of that, his mom decided to take the pots and pans. I’d specifically asked him Saturday because I was going to Walmart and could have bought a new set for myself while there. I didn't want to buy them until I needed to because I’m trying to save money and didn’t get paid that weekend, so I figured if he’s not taking them I don’t need to get things until I get paid next weekend. Wrong. I had to go out that night again and get a set because, as I said, all I had were 3 frying pans and a skillet thing. Oddly enough, she didn’t take the dishes. They were her mom’s, just like the pots and pans, and for some reason she didn’t want them... don’t worry, I already plan to pack them up this weekend and give them back because lord knows what’ll happen if I dont and she decides she wants them six years from now. 

honestly though the biggest level of petty was the Tylenol PM. I know, it’s not a big deal. But it’s just one of those little things that I stopped and was like, are you fucking kidding me. I noticed that, after taking his bed and dressers, the pack of tissues he’d got us from Sam’s was gone. Again, he bought them, whatever. would’ve been nice for him to tell me so I had a heads up to fucking get them when I was at Walmart but whatever. he also took a 6-pack of toilet paper he’d gotten literally the day we ended things (because he’d gone to king Soopers with his mother instead of talking to me about the fight we’d had) and he’d initially told me to keep it, it was for me anyways. I noticed just last weekend it was gone. 

but the fucking Tylenol PM. I'm not one to buy brand name medicine. if I can get store brand, I will. Almost all my medicine is store brand except that Tylenol PM because I was really sick one year and wanted the good stuff. Y’all know how expensive Tylenol is. I sprang for it, and I used it sparingly because I didnt want to have to buy more if I didn’t really need it. Well, two weekends ago I fell down a fucking mountain. I was running a trail down a mountain, tripped, flew through the air, and landed on my shoulder and kneecap. It still hurts, and that day I was in a lot of pain. The regular Tylenol and Ibuprofen that I’d been switching back and forth with all day just wasn’t doing the trick and I was like, okay. this is a Tylenol PM kind of pain. That night, right before bed, I went to grab it from the bathroom cabinet. 

it was gone. the rest of my medicines, the store brand acetaminophen and store brand ibuprofen, those were still there, but the Tylenol PM was gone. It has exclusively only lived either on the dresser/nightstand in the bedroom, or the bathroom cabinet. as he took the dresser and nightstand, and it wasn’t in the cabinet, it had been taken. I cannot tell you how livid I was. it still pisses me off. because of all the things to take he took that. Not the rest of his bathroom shit, not even all his shit from the bedroom. but he took the Tylenol PM. I even asked if he knew where it might be - thinking he’d come across it at some point. he told me “it’s always been in the linen closet” where the rest of our medicines are. It was never there, but I checked the entire closet just in case - nothing. Again, I know it’s small. it’s just a bottle of pills. but it’s the whole damn thought behind it. 

there’s more things too - the fact that no, he doesn’t take all his things from a certain room, and I have to then box the rest of his shit up, move it out of my way, and clean the room that he trashed. 

It’s the fact that 90% of the things on our walls were his (which helps show me how little say I had on my own things in the apartment I exclusively pay for) and now that he’s taken them, he’s left the walls, hooks, and nails behind. most of them are up way above my head - he needed a ladder to put them in - and now they’re littered all over the wall. today, as he worked to get the shit from our front bedroom (hopefully the last things he’ll need to get) I asked him if he could also get the nails and hooks out of the wall because I can’t reach them. he asked me, “did you try using the step-ladder?”. I answered no, and he simply said, “that should work then”. Like, no. you put those up, so you could display all the things of yours YOU wanted to display (3 out of 4 walls in the room were covered with his things) and now he can’t even take the tacks down even though he took the hangings down. 

and then of course, it’s the fact that he just leaves a mess in his wake. when he first moved things out of the living room it was a mess. I spent hours rearranging shit, packing up the rest of his shit that he left behind, and then cleaning up everything because I still have to live here. it was the same with the bedroom. and now it’s gonna be the same thing with the front room. I told him today that everything needs to be out by next weekend because I can’t do this every weekend. He asked what I meant by ‘this’ and explained that I was tired of having to clean up everything that got messed up. He told me simply “it’s not being destroyed. I’m just taking my things”. At the moment the entire room was in shambles, everything askew from him digging his things out and leaving my stuff lying in piles. It’s cleaned up now - save the pile of boxes and junk at the top of the stairs - but I told him I have to clean up the mess that’s left behind. He didn’t have an answer for that. 

Honestly there’s really not a point to this. I’m just pissed, I’m annoyed, and I’m angry, and I’m sad. I’m just tired. And I wanted to vent. So if you stuck with me through this, I wanna thank you for listening. I appreciate being heard, because I haven’t been for so long. your time means a lot to me. 

[satyrcon]

i’ve been having a really tough time. its always tough this time of year, and every year the gravity of the toughness builds up and leads to an inevitable ego death worse than the one that preceded it. 

life has just been so confusing. its a huge clusterfuck of sadness, anger, shame, grief, and every other synonym for disappointment. 

lets start with my job. it fucking sucks. i know that this job isnt going to be my forever job, and i am clinging onto that thought with every atom of my body but somehow it isnt enough. i hate this job. i hate how every single movement is tracked, i hate how much work i have to do for the amount i get paid, i hate how i have no friends there, i also hate the uniform. every week i get my pay check and i think “is it even worth it?”. idk. i would love the job if there wasnt any pressure to hit targets and to close sales and to kiss the ass of every single person who walks into the store. the bonuses are not worth it. the staff discount doesnt even pay for itself. before i start every shift i am muddled with feelings of fear and anxiety and sloth. i often think about the future before i work at my dingy part time mall job and how i will hve this feeling and perhaps even more when i work full time, probably in an office. probably with worse people, with worse pay, and no benefits. i feel a twang of pain in my guy and a large glob fill my throat that i cant choke back. is this what i have to look forward to? is this really fucking all? 

next, lets go with school. this is a tricky one. i thought i would be graduating in the fall. turns out im not and i have to stay an extra year. i sacrificed my summer to take this one course and now i realized that it was in vain. whatever. im just angry that my excitement is delayed. but i also feel somewhat relieved that my true adulthood has been pushed back for at least a few months. i just hate my major so much, i hate writing papers so much, i hate sitting in class so much, i just hate everything so much. 

now lets talk about mental health. this is a doozy.

i think i am depressed. i think i have been depressed for a long time now. i have no energy, i am constantly on the brink of crying while simultaneously feeling a void, i have been self harming a lot, i binge eat drink and smoke. i used to think it was stress. but with no school, and a job that isnt too demanding and honestly not that important there are days where i just cant get out of bed, i cant interact, and i cant stop thinking about killing myself. there. i said it. 

theres just nothing i enjoy anymore. i don’t enjoy being outside, i dont enjoy being in the company of others, i don’t enjoy socializing, i don’t enjoy being talked to, i don’t even enjoy eating anymore. when i eat now, especially if i binge, it feels like i am punishing myself. 

what i like? i like being by myself. preferably in bed, either stoned out of my mind or drunk like a fool. alone for hours. living in my mind. sometimes i even enjoy talking to myself. recounting old eras of my life like an elder. addressing old friends and old foes, making jokes. for the past few months ive had the insane pleasure of having the house to myself for days at a time. i would purposefully wake up as early as 7 AM to enjoy every last moment i could alone. unfortunately i wont experience that bliss again until september.  fummmmmmm. 

my boyfriend keeps putting this weird pressure to see somebody, to seek out therapy, to talk to my doctor, or talk to my family. but i cant. there is just something physically stopping me from even attempting being vulnerable and trying to get some help. i don’t know why. im not a glutton for punishment, but i also don’t know how to get things in order even if i tried. i called a mental health clinic and i got quoted 200 dollars a session to speak to a therapist. i just dont have that fucking money. i dont have the time. and i dont think a stranger can help me even if i were to find the time or the money. how do i explain to a straanger my inner most thoughts when i myself cannot even express them? its not even about the job, or the school, or my binges, or my body that i hate...its everything and so much more...its almost nothing. see what i mean?

i know he is trying to help the best way he can. but whenver he brings it up i cant help but feel like i am being pushed into a corner. its like i have to admit that there is something wrong with me. i dont think theres something wrong with me. i think there is something wrong with the world. he makes me feel so stupid when he suggests i go see someone. i just need space. i just need support. i just need love. i need friends that arent just acquaintances. i need a job where i feel useful and successful. i need money to go on a vacation. i know what i need. i dont know how to get it.  why do i need to see a therapist for that? what the fuck are they going to do to help me? i dont even want to enjoy food anymore. fuck tht.

the only place i can be vulnerable is online, and even then i feel like i am under some sadistic pressure to be funny and to be whatever even when i am screaming in pain. i dont even have online friends anymore that i can even confide in, and fantasize with. 

im writing this down, and i know i am not making sense, but i feel the lump in my throat. i just want this pressure to stop. 

please god. give me a few more weeks alone. give me a cabin in the woods in complete isolation. give me no money stress, give me no axiety. i will be fine then. 

[stitches-for-solo]

“You’d Be Surprised What You Can Live Through”

Personal story below the cut, but it’d be cool if you read it, ‘cause it’s really important to me, and I’m pretty proud of it. I just don’t want to fill up anyone’s Dashboard with a wall of text.

A few years ago, I was driving down one of the main streets in the town I live in. I still even remember what plaza I was passing. I’m not sure where I was coming from, but it was probably a bar. I had tried to get sober after my ex and I split (the first time), and I did okay for a few months, but at that moment in time, I was starting to slip. A beer here or there with my ex (who had the audacity to repeatedly ask me to meet him at a bar we used to frequent), or I would go out by myself a lot on nights I knew he was with another woman he was seeing. He wouldn’t admit to it at the time, but that’s not the point of this story. I was enjoying going out by myself, and it was beginning to become a more frequent occurrence. Anyway, I just remember where I was, and that it was late, because I was listening to “Loveline” on the radio.

A man called in and asked Dr. Drew a question — I don’t really recall the details, but I do know he shared that he was an addict. I believe he had some concerns about his sex drive, which had been low since he had gotten clean. Dr. Drew asked how long he had been sober, and the man replied “17 months and [x] days”. Dr. Drew congratulated him, and made a comment about when you know down to the day how long it’s been since you’ve used/drank, you’re probably pretty serious about your recovery.

I remember hearing this, and my heart just sinking into my stomach. 17 months seemed like an ETERNITY, and I knew I’d be six feet under long before I could ever achieve that. I had only managed 3 or 4 months, and I was already secretly falling back into old habits, and worse still, making new ones. I had only tried to quit drinking because of the infamous “I refuse to date an alcoholic” line my ex dropped on me when he initially dumped me. We did briefly reconcile after I had managed to stay away from a drink for maybe 2 months, but it didn’t last, and with my only motivation gone, neither did my short-lived sobriety. I was failing, and I knew it. I felt doomed. I had tried telling myself I was still doing good, because I wasn’t drinking every night, and I wasn’t drinking alone at home. I had total control over it, and I’d never go back to the way I was — drinking in excess every night and trying (and succeeding for quite a while) at keeping it all hidden. I was fine. I just needed self control.

Except that was total bullshit, and deep down I knew it. 17 dry months would never be in my future, mainly because I didn’t want it to be, especially since I was a single adult and didn’t have to listen or justify my drinking and risky behavior to anyone. I was doing what I wanted, fuck the consequences. In my mind, if he was gonna keep seeing that homewrecking whore, I was gonna keep drinking. It sounds ludicrous, but sometimes I dressed up all cute (or attempted to be sexy and alluring), and went out to spite him. That wasn’t the only reason I drank again, but if he wasn’t a factor, I would have just stayed home most nights, drank alone in my pajamas when I felt like it, and only go out when I wanted the ego boost of catching someone’s eye in a bar/restaurant or having them buy me a drink. Of course this was the complete opposite of logical, because he didn’t give a flying fuck what I did. We would meet up at a bar, after he dumped me for my drinking and refusal to get help, ffs.

I continued to backslide until it was like nothing changed at all. I eventually ended up in (and getting thrown out of) rehab after some mental and physical health scares, but again, it didn’t last. I drank myself out of another relationship, out of chances with my ex, out of two jobs, into a DUI, and into the hospital several times before it was either quit or die. I’d been right all along. 17 months wasn’t in my future.

Except.. today (yesterday technically, since it’s after midnight) is 17 months.

When I look back at the utter insanity I was living in, it’s almost incomprehensible what I went through and what I lived through. It feels like a few months, at best, but now I’m 30 days away from a year and a half. Holy shit.

My life is far from perfect. I’d change more things than I’d keep the same, if I’m being honest. And although I do have some self control, I can’t say I don’t think about alcohol — a lot. I have cravings; I’m only human. And I can’t say I don’t have some bad habits to kick (some of which could be said to be a replacement for alcohol, but I know what I need to do). And I can never say that I’ll one day recover completely and no longer be an addict. That’s just not how it works. What I CAN say is that, even though my life feels like it’s been decimated by being hit by a train, it’s so goddamn easy to forget how bad it actually was. That’s something I need to work on — remembering the bad things so the temptation to go back isn’t so strong. And I guess I’ll end with this — I know I complain a lot, and this process hasn’t been at all what I was expecting, however, I am so glad I didn’t die on that couch.

Oh, and can anyone guess what movie the quote in the title of this post is from?

[eligrantbooks]

gotta vent about my day real quick

highlights of the day

> be professional ghostwriter.

Agreed to edit a 25000 word segment of a finished manuscript for a much loved regular client, who said the MC’s dialogue needed to be punched up. Easy enough. I figured it would take a few hours.

Was briefly excited to discover the manuscript was for a concept I had outlined and written several chapters for a few months ago.

Excitement rapidly dwindles as I realize that beloved client has hired another ghostwriter to write the majority of the book. Which would be fine, except this other ghostwriter has no fucking idea what they are doing.

Formatting is a god damn disaster and I spend several hours just getting the document into a workable condition.

You ever open a word doc, look at the navigation pane, and just see a wall of blank links, because someone applied the header formatting somewhere and then just hit enter a million times instead of using a page break like a civilized god damn human being?

in the middle of this forest of blank headers, actual chapter titles are scattered at random, and also they only applied the header to roughly one out of every five chapters or so, you know, just, when they felt like it. when the spirit took them. when the stars aligned. when the feng shui was right.

Also, apparently they like the way first line indenting looks but don’t know how to make word do that (spoiler: its easy as shit and takes like two clicks) so every once in a while they start manually hitting tab before every line, until they get distracted and stop for a while, luring you into a false sense of security before they remember and start doing it again.

Sometimes, when a scene transitions but they dont want to just end the chapter for some reason, they break it up with spaces. Other times, they like to use asterisks. Once or twice, just for flavor, they throw in one of those page width lines that word makes when you type a line of hyphens.

There is random highlighting in places, for no discernible reason.

Once I have the document formatted in a way I can bear to work with, I start actually reading through it. About the first seven chapters were written by the client. They’re cheesy but solid.

Then I get to chapter eight, and the suspicions i had begun to form while putting the formatting through traction (namely that whoever did this was a fuckwit) quickly crystallized into a shining certainty that my beloved client had mistakenly hired An Ass Clown.

Not just An Ass Clown, but An Ass Clown who thought 50 Shades was a beautiful love story, actually.

And they gave This Ass Clown, this literary reprobate, this paste eating remedial english mother fucker, my outline.

let me clarify that i did not expect to have sole control of this story when i produced the outline for beloved client, and I was okay with that. That’s how it works. If I’d been dead set on writing this myself, i wouldn’t have sold the outilne to beloved client. but it really rubs salt in the wound to have spent hours of my life crafting the bones of this story, which i really liked and was excited to see take shape

and then find out it has been put into the pie fondling hands

of An Ass Clown.

first hint that something has gone drastically wrong: the arrival of completely unnecessary and ridiculous fantasy names for things.

“oh we dont drink coffee in this book. it’s kofee. at least until three chapters from now when i forget and it becomes kofe. Oh, and watch out for those thornaby bushes! I’m going to misspell that one literally every time I use it! It’s entirely possible that this isn’t a fantasy name at all and I just have a small seizure whenever I try to type the word thorn bush!”

second omen of my impending anuerism: phonetically written accents which are so comically stereotypical and inaccurate that native speakers of that accent should be entitled to financial compensation, except they can’t even stick to the stereotype accurately, producing gems such as  “It’s not safe in that there pen with ‘em swine, young miss.” I don’t even know what accent that’s supposed to represent. To top it off these accent abominations are sprinkled in with all the consistency and reliability of a lactose intolerant cheese enthusiast’s bowel movements.

But this, I tell myself, moving on, is not my problem. I just need to punch up the mcs dialogue. It’ll be fine. I can do this. I just need to take this shit: “A fond idea, but I doubt I have that ability.” I joked. “I can’t imagine living without true sunshine. Even the triplet moons must shine less brightly without their sister sun.” and make it… not like that.

Except, and here’s where I start hitting the real roadblock guys

this book is in first person.

essentially, the entire novel is the MC talking.

So sure I can change the spoken lines, but her internal monologue

which is, i remind you, the entire narrative

her internal monologue is going to keep being maggie gyllenhal’s character from The Secretary if her copy of the script had been swapped with just a binder full of sonnets written by a middle school english class during the Shakespeare unit.

I get to chapter ten around three in the afternoon. I have been working steadily, with an unusual degree of focus thanks to my recent adderal prescription, since ten in the morning.

this is where shit begins to go truly bananas.

this is a YA beauty and the beast type fantasy

that good fun indulgent shit that’s almost as enjoyable to write as it is to read

usually. previously. before i had to endure this traumatic twelve hour experience.

Chapter ten is the first big “dinner” scene. this book isn’t being shy about pulling from the source material, but that’s fine. the beast “apologizes” (heavy quotes there) for having earlier used magic to force the heroine to answer his questions truthfully. They talk and almost seem to making progress for a bit, and then have a fight and storm off. Standard stuff.

Except, uh, the beast’s apology is, essentially “Yeah I shouldn’t have done that.” “so you’re apologizing?” “no but it’s the best you’re going to get so deal with it.”

and the headstrong, independent heroine who wears pants and wrestles pigs and dont need no man

just kinda rolls with this. There’s giggling.

They have their big dramatic fight, exit stage left, much angst and todo.

The next morning heroine wakes up to find the beast has (presumably) snuck into her room while she was sleeping and dumped a bunch of new dresses on her. he has also (apparently) replaced her brain with Bella Swan’s more vapid cousin.

She forgives him instantly. Because pretty dresses. She also starts calling him master, because why not. She has, over night, become the darling submissive Tumblr doms dream of.

This is not a bdsm book. I am eighty percent certain it doesn’t even include soft core smut. I’m telling you this so that you understand this transformation was not a contrivance in order to facilitate kinky sex. I have written a contrived set up to a sex scene or two in my day. This is not that. This is Not what is in the outline. I know, because i wrote the outline. It is My Outline.

No, The Ass Clown just… decided to do this. Apropos of nothing. I’m beginning to think the Ass Clown’s decision making process involves whipping pies at a comically large dartboard. And all the options on the dartboard are just “lol whatever”

By the time I get to chapter eleven, wherein our newly lobotomized heroine is “excited to wear a new frock and please the master!” - direct quote I have given up any pretense of editing dialogue and I am just straight up rewriting shit using the previous garbage as a loose outline.

I have eaten, maybe, three bites of a bowl of oatmeal all day. I have not taken a bathroom break since before noon. I have missed my deadline. Beloved client is concerned. I’m sure I can still do this, I just need a few more hours.

the words sound like truth but my soul knows i am a liar

I frantically restructure scene after scene, deceiving myself each time that it will be the last, and I will be able to get this crazy train back on the rails. But this crazy train has no interest in being on the rails. It’s a direct line no stops right off the edge of the cliffs of insanity.

The beast jumps unpredictably from homicidal rage and threats of violence to jokes and flirting as though he did not just declare her his property and threaten to rip her tongue out a few paragraphs ago. Heroine swoons and sighs and giggles regardless of whether she is dealing with Dr.Jekyll or Christian Gray on PCP.

But I’m still sure I can do this. I’ll just adjust these two full chapters to make her appropriately scared and angry, and then replace this weird conversation here with a heartfelt apology from him and an effort to do better. That will totally work. Unless, you know, it turns out that conversation I want to replace only starts out with them joking and laughing together, and turns into him berating and abusing her mid paragraph of a fuckin montage a page later! But, haha! Why would The Ass Clown ever do that? It would be completely irrational, tonally jarring and out of character! Only a seltzer slinging rainbow suspender-ed peanut butter fumbling son of six fucks would do that.

so of course The Ass Clown did that.

It’s eleven at night. I know when I’m beaten.

I inform beloved client that the Ass Clown has bested me and I can do no more.

She is very understanding.

I send her what I managed and I check the added word count while im at it

i added a full 6,000 words to that manuscript just trying to patch up this sloppy motherfucker’s lopsided prose and gossamer thin understanding of narrative structure

son of a bitch had about as firm a grasp of romance as i currently have on the trembling shreds of my sanity.

their grip on character writing could not be more tenuous if they had first dipped the target brand Hulk Hands which I assume they always have on their person into a barrel of adult-film-grade silicon lubricant and then taken their Leapfrog 2-in-1 Leaptop Touch down a waterslide.

Do you know how much I usually make for 6000 words?

$180.

Do you know how much I made for enduring this ass blasting, which I naively believed I could tackle in a matter of hours?

$100.

You owe me $80 Ass Clown. And I aim to collect.

Also I lost my damn mind for a minute and said the words "i dont know shit about fuck my guy” to my actual father on facebook

so there’s that.

[letsimportanttreecollection-blog]

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

"Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Would it be better for our government to give everyone health insurance or?

Produce more health care resources by increasing funding for medical schools and work to flood the market in health care services thus making it more affordable for everyone?

Allstate insurance?

does allstate have medical insurance

How much does motorcycle insurance cost in kansas for a 16 year old driver?

im 15, about to turn 16 and want to get a motorcycle. i only have a few dirtbikes that aren't street legal and im thinking about getting a 1993 gsx750r this july for my bday. how much would i expect to pay for the insurance? i live in a rural area so it SHOULD cost less right?""

Mustang GT for a teen? insurance question?

When i graduate from highschool my dad is going to buy me a mustang GT 2005 and i was wondering if it was a good choice. when i go to college i am goin to hav a job so will i be able to afford a mustang insurance? How much will it run about (estimate). Thx in advance, ~Key key24~""

""After a DUI,about how much a month does your car insurance go up?

First DUI and I share a policy with a family member.

Why can't we have Medicare for all?

Old people love it?? I don't get it. It's so unfair. My cousin has MS and she couldn't afford Health Insurance and her employer didn't offer it to her. By the time she could qualify for Medicaid, her MS became much worse, and she is not doing well right now. All Americans should have the right to be healthy. It's not a privilege, it's a right!""

What's a good place in california for insurance?

What's a good place in california for insurance?

Primary insurance?????????????/?

So I took my Daughter to the doctor today she is on ARkids. everything went fine at the Doctors but when i went to get her RX they said i would have to pay 81 dollars because of my primary insurance. I dont have Primary insurance she has only had ARkids. well they told me it was through her (sperm donor) father. that had not had anything to do with her for 2 years. she is 5 and when he did it was off and on. well how is this right I have custody of her. I can not afford her meds with his insurance making me pay. when it was just her insurance i didnt have to pay since it is his doesn't he have to pay? I dont know how to get ahold of him like i said no contact nothing for 2 years. she never gets sick.. i havent had to get her any meds or take her to the doc for like 5 mo.or more.

""California Life and Health Insurance, How can i Lower my Insurance rates?""

California Life and Health Insurance, How can i Lower my Insurance rates?""

Cheap Auto Insurance?

I know for a 17-yr-old newly licensed female its expensive, but what auto insurance company would you recommend. I live in New York, drive '93 Ford Explorer thats in satisfactory condition.""

Insurance question for duis?

Alright, im 22 years old and i have 3 duis in a matter of 2 years. Im getting my liscence back in 5 months after losing it for a year. how much will my insurance be so i can be ready for the cost?""

Is this good Health Insurance from my work?

I will be paying 182 dollars a month for medical vision and dental coverage. I will have a 50 dollar deductible, 30 dollar copays for primary care visits (50 for specialist) and 80/20 coverage. (They pay 80 percent of the visits and I pay 20 percent, plus the flat co pay. Im new to the whole insurance thing, I just left my parents coverage. Is this considered good? I just think its sorts a lot as I only make 2100 a month.""

What is a cheap car insurance company in New Jersey?

I am only 20 yrs old.

How much do you spend monthly on Repairs and Maintenance for your car?

Question is pretty straight forward: How much do you spend monthly on Repairs and Maintenance for your car? (Don't include insurance or gas) Thanks

My insurance co. just cancelled my policy!!! Plz. HELP!!!!?

IVE HAD TICKETS FINALLY THEY SUSPENDED MY LICENSE BUT I TOOK DEFENSIVE DRIVING JUST BEFORE THEY SUSPENDED IT BUT WHEN MY INSURANCE CO. REVIEWED ME IT JUST SHOWS THAT MY LICENSE WAS SUSPENDED NOT THAT IT WAS REINSTATED BECAUSE OF THE POINTS REDUCTION FOR DEF. DRIVING. ANY WAY THEY WANT 3345.07 PER 6/MONTHS PLUS MY HUSBAND 995.00 THATS 4400.00 PER 6 MONTHS!!!! ANY ADVICE HOW TO GET SOME INSURANCE CHEAP!? PLZ HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does the condition of the car affect car insurance?

Does the car appearance (good or bad) affect how much we pay for car insurance. I know insurance companies always ask What condition is your car?..any dents, etc does saying its in good condition make the rates go up or down?""

CHEAP DOWN PAYMENT FOR CAR INSURANCE JUST LIABILITY?

CHEAP CAR INSURANCE LILABITY ONLY

Can a 17 year old purchase health insurance?

I am seventeen years old and i no longer live with my parents(with their permission), and they do not have health insurance. I have terrible eyesight and am on my last pair of contact lenses that are not in very good shape themselves.I have a job but it would take a long time for me to save up enough money to take care of all of the costs included in getting my contacts. I need to know if i can purchase health insurance or if i am eligible for any type of coverage?""

What car is the lowest cost for insurance for a 18 year old male driver (2 years Driving)?

Just curious what is the least expensive to cover for those of you in the insurance industry

What would be the average cost on home insurance?

just an estimate, i have no clue is it 30$ a month, 100, 200, 300, 500?""

Trying to find cheapest van insurance for private use?

Has anybody researched cheapest van insurers in uk

Car insurance!!!! HELP?

Hi i have just rung up Diamond car insurance to find out the cost of getting some car insurance and paying monthly! they said i need to pay a deposite of 200 quid and then my monthly payments are 200 quid. In my first month do i pay both the deposite and the monthly payment or just the deposite!??????? xxxx

Insurance for honda civic?

Does anyone no how much insurance is for a Honda civic, I am 17. Do i have any hope of getting any?""

Texas health insurance plans?

Are there any texas health insurace plans beside CHIP, CIGNA, and Blue Cross Blue Shield because they don't cover insurance for eye doctors and their deductible is too high also. I'm 19 if that helps and I don't qualify for gold member or medicaid.""

Looking for affordable health insurance in Arizona for my child ONLY?

Kidscare is no longer acccepting applicants and and SCHIP has been discontinued.....All the sites i go to that offer quotes are only for adults and the deductibles are outrageous.... ...show more

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

Anyone in pennsylvania know of an affordable dental plan that covers everything?

Does anyone have good dental insurance for a fair monthly price? I need something that covers crowns root canals check ups fillings and xrays. I don't really know where to start. ...show more

Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?

Cheap car insurance for 7 star driver?

Im going to be in Wisconsin my friend has a car for me..can i get insurance to cover me there?

Im going to wisconsin for their summer and my friend im staying with has a car i can use for the period im there. im 21 is there a way for me to get covered by insurance for the 4 months im there? Im from New Zealand. Thanks

What happens after you settle with your insurance company?

My car was stolen Monday morning on July 15 around 3am to 5 am in Richmond CA the car was park right by my parking lot my question is what happend after I settle a payment with my car Insurance and The police find my car after I settle with my insurance?

Is there such a thing as a joint life insurance plan?

Just wondering if there is such a thing that would cover my spouse and I on one policy. For ex. 20 or 30 year policy for around $150,000.00 where either myself or spouse would ride the policy.""

""Car insurance rates are through the roof and I don't know why, help!?""

I need help with car insurance, I'm having some problems. Okay, I'm a 21 year old single, never married, male and I got my driver's license when I was 18 in March 2008. Now, I know my car insurance rates are high because I'm young and a guy, but here's the problem. I see people who are about my same age who have been driving for the same amount of time as and have no accidents, violations, or tickets like me. My car insurance rates are ridiculously high, I mean insanely high, even compared to others my age. My younger brother even, he's had his license for a year, he's 19, and had 3 speeding tickets and still pays less than me. On average for my car insurance rates, getting quotes online range from about $1500 all the way up to $2500 for 6 months! I used old vehicles, new vehicles, safe vehicles, unsafe vehicles, every kind of car/truck you could imagine and my projected rates are still through the roof. For example, for full coverage with the minimum amounts and highest deductibles, my insurance on a 2010 Mazda 3 would be about $1800-$2300 for 6 months. However, I also got a quote for a 1997 Ford Escort and the same exact coverage is still $1200-$1300. I don't get why my rates are so much higher. A coworker of mine is 21 years old, not married, no tickets, and has had his license since 18 like me, and he has a 2007 Mazda 6 and he only pays about $170 a month, which translates to about ~$1050 for 6 months. I put in my information including SSN on the same company's web site that he uses (Geico) and my insurance rates are about $1700 for 6 months. So my question is why are my insurance rates so high? I have no tickets, no moving violations, no accidents, nothing, and yet insurance rates are so high. I figure SOMETHING has to be on my driving record, but I can't imagine what. How can get a copy of or look at my driving record? I just want to know why my rates are so much higher than other people, male or female, who are about my age and have been driving for about the same amount of time and yet I still pay 2x or 3x as much as me. Please help me out! =)""

Can you rent a car without insurance?

For example....I don't have a car, so I don't need insurance, but if I want to rent a car, won't they ask for proof of insurance?""

Does the car appearance affect insurance?

Does the car appearance (good or bad) affect how much we pay for car insurance. I know insurance companies always ask What condition is your car?..any dents, etc does saying its in good condition make the rates go up or down?""

Has legislative push for affordable insurance been cut short in the u.s congress?

Has legislative push for affordable insurance been cut short in the u.s congress?

New driver car insurance?

How exactly do you get/where can you find cheaper car insurance for new drivers?

Gerber life insurance company?

is this even worth doing has anyone ever done this...i need feed back and ideas i have a one year old little boy and i want him to have something to fall back on when he gets older, weather its college or whatever The insurance says they can cash it out for the premium. So should i sign up or just get him a savings account?""

Car Insurance question?

I own a car with me and my boyfriend.( I am on the title) I live with my parents. I'm going to get my license soon, and it is required I go under their insurance. Do I have to pay for both, or just go under my parents'? Thank you.""

Problem with car insurance?

This isn't my car. So sorry if I'm fussy on details. Basically in the snow a car lost control of their car and crashed into my friends car. Which was parked up. They were decent and called their insurance company. Unforcantly there's a problem with the door that needs to be replaced. They said they will give her 600 and she has to cover the rest. Surely it all should be paid by their insurance not just some of it? Her father wants to demand money off the bloke which I don't thinks right. But I wanted to know where they stand on getting money off the insurance. And what advise I can give them. Why pay insurance if they don't give out. Doesn't make sence. Anyone been in a similar situation? What was the result? Cheers.

How long do i have to have my drivers permit?

I am 18 and live in Arizona. i have never had my drivers permit and i am getting it in a couple days.. How long would i have to hold my permit in order to get my licence

How much would car insurance for me im 21 and i want a ford fusion?

How much would car insurance for me im 21 and i want a ford fusion?

Aviation Insurance Question.?

How much do universities with aviation departments spend on average to insure their entire fleet of training aircraft annually?

Car and insurance problem.?

If I was in the process of getting a driving lesson from my instructor, I crashed his car. Am I suppose to be in charge of this, but I don't have a license yet. So, am I going to be the one who pays for the insurance or the instructor?""

My car stolen and insurance company is delaying claim?

My car was stolen at my school, after calling the police and everything. I was asking people at school for a ride home one girl told me she was busy and asked her friend to drive me he agreed. When I notified my insurance, he asked for a recorded statement which I gave. Then he wanted the name and contact numbers of the two people I asked for a ride a home. Which took a while to get yet i still got them a gave them to the guy. After they contact the adjuster, I called to try to see whats going on with this claim because its been over 30 days and I am trying to replace my stolen car. He says there are some difference in the three statements he recieved and he has to file some notes and contact me later. I later called the other two people and asked what did they say and to me it seemed the same just in different person view and they also told me they did not remember alot...Can these people cost me my claim? I cooperated and did everything..How long can this take? What else does he need""

What happens in california if you are stopped without car insurance?

I read recently that 47 % of cited / stopped Drivers in California have NO License, NO Insurance, and NO Registration for the vehicle (of that 47 %, over 92 % were illegals). I am just wondering what the penalties are if you are caught driving without car insurance?""

Advantages of IT on insurance?

I had got the topic Advantages of Information Technology on Insurance , please tell me what points i can say on this topic ... the main points that i should mention will be pleased if you could give me a few 10, 12 lines of speech on the topic ...in simple English""

Cheapest car insurance????

looking for a cheap car insurance guys, plz help""

Someone hits me and I have no car insurance?

I live in Texas and was wondering what would happen if someone was to hit me with it being their fault and I didn't have insurance?

Insurance rates of a new leased car vs. a used car?

I am looking for a car to drive, and it's my first car. I am wondering what the difference in insurance costs would be between: a) A brand new leased car b) A fairly old used car I know it depends on the type of car, but lets go with a honda accord, because that's what I would buy/lease. Also, I am 16. Is it possible for my dad to own the lease but designate me as the driver of the car?""

Any cheap car insurance in uk?

i have full uk licence and 2 years no claim bonus age 30 to 40 how can i buy the cheap car insurance.please

""Can Doctors offices charge you, when they lost your medical insurance card?""

I got my appendix removed in California and used the state insurance at the time (since I was low income and never had insurance). All the hospital bills are payed for; however, the surgeon has charged me an additional 1,445.00. I never even saw the surgeon after the hospital. I went in for follow-ups to his office but would always miss him. I gave my insurance card to front desk girl and she told me she didn't need it but just in case she made a copy. Now two years later I come to find out that there is this bill. What can I do?""

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

Change car insurance name and registration?

My car is registered under someone elses but I've been m aking the car payments since the beginning... I just got car insurance myself with no help from her(my friend) but the policy is in her name but I'm down as a driver... Is there anyway that I can be the policy holder eventhough its not in my name.. also I plan on moving but taking the car I still have quite a few more payments but I dont want to leave with the car not registered to me is the anyway I can get the car in my name and still pay it off

Can a dealership sell you a car without car insurance?

I bought a car, thinking I had car insurance, and I want out. I didn't put any money down, yet i signed the paperwork and drove off the lot with the car. I brought back the same day, but of course they didn't take it back. Can they hold me to the loan if i didnt have car insurance and i have no job? I am only 19 and want a way out.""

Insurance: Get car fixed?

On Friday, I was rear-ended by a 2000 Mitsubishi Montero Sport. I got some minor damage done to my 2004 Mazda 3s. My bumper has scratches and a dimple-- which really isn't noticeable. The car has 100,000 and I'm debating whether or not to get it fixed. I am thinking of taking the insurance money to pay off debt. Should I or should I get the car fixed? Will I get into trouble if I use the money to pay off debt?""

What kind of liability insurance do gyms have?

I was playing some basketball on a guest pass at the gym yesterday. I rolled my ankle and just left thinkin it wasnt that bad, decided to sleep on it. turns out, it's a lot worse than I thought and I can't even walk on it today. I dont have any health insurance, or any means to pay these medical bills right now. Do gyms usually have insurance for things like this or are you on your own?""

Help with life insurance?

My husband apply a life insurance for me without my knowing for $150,000 dollars. I came from other country and I was shocked because as if my husband wants to kill me and just married me for life insurance. One day a nurse came to our house and get blood and urine test and asked my husband what's that for, he lied to me he told me that was only needed for his work and for my health insurance. I was just wandering, after few days I received a letter from Veteran's Insurance that my beneficiary when I died is my husband for 150,000 dollars, I called right away the insurance company and disconnect it. My question is, is there anyway that my husband can apply me again for life insurance without my knowing? I don't want him to become the beneficiary. Can I make a last will and testament that when something happen to me my beneficiary are my parents? What will I do to do this step?""

Can I carry car insurance for a car that's not in my name?

Our car just broke down and we can't afford a new one. My father-in-law wants to finance a new car in his name but let us drive it. Is it possible for my husband and I to carry ...show more

How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old?

Hey I will be turning 17 in a month and I was wondering how much car insurance will cost. I Think I will be going under my parents plan. I will either be getting my dads 05 range rover or an 03 nissan 350z. I have geico and live in NY if that helps. About how much would it cost to insure each car?

In order to get your permit do you have to have insurance or be on somebody elses?

i wanna get my permit do i have to have insurance or be on somebody elses?

Will my Insurance go any higher if paid off by Collision ?

I bought my Acura in 2006 and have been in mint condition since then. Recently, the snow plougher scratched my car and didnt leave a note. I called the manger of the snow plougher and filed the police report. He took the responsibility but during the report he said that he will give the name of the driver and vehicle later. After few weeks when I didnt hear I called the manager and he said his company will not cover anything and I can do whatever I can.... I called my insurance company and they are willingly to cover through my insurance - Collision, instead of comprehensive. The repair is $2000 + rental car for 9 days ~$2500. My deductible is $100 for collision and $50 for comprehensive. Do you think if they use Collision my insurance rate will go higher ? [Ofcourse I dont have any choice at this time. my insurance company said they cannot file a lawsuit or anything against the snow plougher company]""

Insurance E-bike?

I live in california and I would like to know if I need an insurance for my e-bike if I hit someone or something. If you could post the web page you found it on that would be nice. Thanks

Insurance? what will happen?

ii was diagnosed at 17 i am 19 currently getting medical cause of my parents income and my current diagnosis brain tumor i was wondering if i worked and made my own income would it be my own or family? i am cvred under family cvrage what would happen to the insurance i live in california would i have to purchase my own insurance are there companine who would do that? i will be able tto work i have a physical disability

Georgia Car Insurance?

If i'm moving to Georgia it states that I have 30 days to register my car and I need to get car insurance within those 30 days. If i'm looking around for insurance am I allowed to drive with an out of state insurance during those 30 days? Please give a absolute answer not something that you are guessing.

Will my insurance go up?

My brother got a ticket while driving my car, will that make my insurance go up?""

About how much should the car insurance of a 17 year old who drives a 2003 Black Ford Mustang?

About how much should the car insurance of a 17 year old who drives a 2003 Black Ford Mustang?

What is a good and cheap insurance for a Acura Rsx 2002?

I just recently got my license and want to know of good and cheap insurance for my car.

How much will my auto insurance cost?

I just turned 16 a couple months ago and i already have my license, and i live in Colorado. My parents have State Farm auto insurance and they want me to pay for my own insurance when i get a car. I already know that you can get a bunch of discounts for things like getting good grades and attendence and safe driving and not driving your car to school, but anyways i was wondering how much it would cost me without any discounts? Like how much would it be every month or so? I do have a job but i dont know if i would have enough to pay for car insurance. Any help is needed! thank you!!!""

Lowest priced liability insurance in Texas?

I need only the bare minimum required by law. Have had only one ticked in the last 5 years. Live in Anderson County. Geico is a joke.

Can i drive any car with insurance?

Alright I asked a question earlier and i didnt provide enough information Im 16 and my dad just got me insurance on our car, a toyota camry. He said that i can drive any other car as long as i have the insurance card of the camry, i have my 'own' car (acura) that i dont know that i can drive or not that is under my dads name.. but that car isnt under our policy. is it true that i can drive the acura with my camry's insurance?""

Do i get the money (first and last months payment) i put down for car insurance back if i switch companies?

i bought car insurance two months back and i put a down payment first and last month payment but i would like to switch i found a cheaper insurance will i get that money back?

What is the best health insurance company in Canada?

from your experience. just a student on a budget. i have two little ones as well.

How much do you pay for car insurance?

How much do you pay for car insurance?

Car insurance 15 year old with 4.0 gpa?

my son is going to turn 15 i wanted to know what it would cost and what options i have

Do you need motorcycle insurance in the state of Tennessee?

As a Tennesseean, I was wondering if motorcycle insurance is necessary in order to ride in the state.""

Insurance on Giving Birth?

Me and my husband don't have any insurance and we want to have a baby, what is the average monthly payment for insurance that will cover everything from the ultra violet sound to the monthly check-ups to the auctual giving birth in the hospital.""

Insurance for first time motorcycle driver?

I'm 16, female, & am looking at the Kawasaki Ninja 2009. I would be the primary owner, and I'm wondering whether the color of the motorcycle will affect the rate of insurance as well? Thank you!""

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

How much does a ticket cost for no proof insurance in ca?

I got a ticket for no proof of insurance at the time. But I have insurance. Does anyone know how much the ticket costs. Or what I can do to get it written off??

How much does it cost for auto insurance for a 16 year old??/?

How much does it cost for auto insurance for a 16 year old??/?

I would like to know if i can get affordable insurance for melanoma treatment?

i am a low income single mother and need insurance for myself my kid is already covered

(uk) Do you need to tell your car insurance this....?

If you get diagnosed with mild arthritis, do you need to tell your car insurance this? And if so, do they make it more expensive?""

Dependent's health insurance?

My friend wants to move into an apartment with me, we are both in college so we want to be roommates, but her parents say that they will not pay her health insurance if she moves out. Since she is a student, she is going to be a dependent of theirs for a few more years. Does being a dependent of her parents legally obligate the parents to pay her health insurance?""

I was just wondering if anyone knows how much your car insurance goes up if you have been into an accident?

I was just wondering if anyone knows how much your car insurance goes up if you have been into an accident?

I need to get car insurance im 17 year old male see more info below.?

Im 17 will be 18 in January. I need my license because I have a good opportunity to be a baby sitter but it involves driving the kids kids to soccer practice and school. I have already gotten hired I just need to get my license. I think my mom and dad have alstate and the car I would be driving is a 2001 mini van. How much would it cost ? Would the rates be cheaper if they said I would be driving on rare occasions ? The job pays 200 weekly so its a good opportunity and plus i love the kids.

Do you need to pay for insurance if you're using a family car?

Im 16, and am getting my license soon. Do i need to pay the $1500 dollars a month for insurance, or does the family insurance cover me? Im wondering if the insurance is for the person, or the car that the person is driving.""

Car insurance thats cheap for kids?

I am 17 just bought a car and dont have any insurance i work and make around 120 a week, im still in school and am looking for insurance that is affordable.""

How much will it cost to insure a motorbike such as cbr600f if im 23 and just passed my test?

And are there ways of cheapening the cost - I really have no clue of how much motorbikes cost to insure. the cbr600f is group 14,which sounds reasonable. Can i lump the insurance with a car thats group 11? i live in the uk.""

How much is Accutane with insurance?

I hear that accutane is uber expensive without insurance. I just want to know how much it is with insurance. Thanks

How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old from allstate in california?

does it also matter what kind of a car it is? I have a 1999 chevy malibu

How much would it cost for a 16 year old with a 91-93 300zx tt?

How much would the insurance be for a 16 year old to have a 91-93 300zx twin turbo? in alabama

""First car, low insurance group, modifications, help?""

Just asking for a few suggestions for a first car, second/third hand not too expensive 2000-3000 max, however i would like to add modifications to it such as alloys and lowered suspension. Have you any ideas for what car would be cheapest and if possible what UK driving insurance company? Thanks :)""

Shouldn't I try to claim all I can on car insurance?

Someone didn't quit stop on time and hit me a little in the rear. This guy was in his early 20's and when I asked for insurance he said he doesn't have it with him and that he is driving his grandmothers car. I asked him for his phone number in case there is a problem. My car just has a few marks from this but bodywork is expensive and it wouldn't surprise me if it wouldn't cost $300.Since my car is 12 years old I may not get the work done.Usually insurance companies tell you to get an estimate and mail a check to you. The driver that hit me said he is sorry but I think he hopes he doesn't owe me anything for this. Shouldn't people try to claim any amount of damage through insurance even if it is minor?

Is it illegal to drive car if you personally don't have car insurance?

Let's say a teenager doesn't have car insurance and he has his license. His car is registered in his parents name and the teenager isn't under the family car insurance. The teen drives his car and gets wrecked in a accident. Now will he be protected because the car is under his parent's insurance and they let him use the vehicle?

How much will my insurance go up for my first DWI-drugs conviction (read for more info/details)?

I am wondering how much my insurance will go up by a percent amount? I am a 25 year old guy with a dwi conviction on the way. I didn't hurt or kill the other driver. I did have to repair the other car, but my rates didn't go up for that. I don't have any other points against me. My lawyer just keeps saying substantially, but that is it.""

How dos US car insurance work compared to english car insurance?

I'm looking to get a bmw x5 but insurance is 9000k a year like $13000k I heard they do it different so its easier to get bigger cars. In england they don't allow young drivers to get big cars so the insurance is expensive How dos us car insurance work

Who should I trust when it comes to auto insurance?

I am looking for Auto Insurance but want to deal a company I can trust.

How much will my car insurance cost me?

I am 18 years old, and live in Northern BC. I have had my N license for just over a year, I have had NO accidents or tickets. I have a 1995 Honda Civic 4 Door. I am a very safe driver and I have been unlucky to find a good quote. Do you think it would be around $100/month?""

Can a car insurance company find out when you were first issued your license?

I know its wrong to lie, BUT ,my insurance would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much lower if I had been driving for longer. I didn't get my license until I was 22 and I'm 23 now, but they give me the rates of a teenager. I pay way too much!""

""Which company offers the best health insurance policy in Delhi, India?

I want a health insurance as it saves tax. I am 21 Male

Best location for insurance agency?

I'm very early in the stages of starting an insurance agency in Lafayette IN. Where do you think is a better location? There are reasonable prices in downtown lafayette, but also on the east side, which is has a lot of offices, retail stores, and restaurants. Where do you think more people would likely to meet a beginning independent insurance agency?""

Decent car that's cheap to buy and insure?

Hi so I'm looking at buying a car. Right now I only have around 3,000. I would rather just get a cheaper car now but if nots possible I can wait until I have 5,000. Okay so I know I'm not going to be buying a Ferrari for my budget but I'm looking for some ideas of cars that are inexpensive to buy, inexpensive to insure and one I won't get laughed at for driving. The oldest year I would go is a 1999.leave your ideas. Thanks""

How can I get affordable health insurance?

I'm 19, in good health, not pregnant nor do I already have a child. I was told by the state that I have to either be under 18 or have a child to get Medicare. My job does not offer insurance. What can I do? I'm on a very low income, and can't afford very much, but I am willing to pay something.""

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

Southfield Michigan Cheap car insurance quotes zip 48037

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-look-insurance-anthony-fisher/"

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 99 Poll Results

The chapter 98 poll closed with 1,751 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated.

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,722 Responses

On the “awful” to “awesome” scale of 1-5, nearly 70% of respondents rated “Guilty Shadow” with a “5″, making it the highest rated chapter since we started polling. Well done, Isayama!

On that day, Marley received a grim reminder... this chapter woke up the obsessed snk fan in me, finally JESUS CHRIST

SNK has always been a wild ride, but I don't believe I've ever been this excited and frustrated that I don't have the next chapter in my hands RIGHT NOW- if only to satisfy the itch of knowing which half-hidden face is who from Paradis. And also to figure out what they've done to Porco, Pieck and Zeke to neutralize them while Eren gives Reiner the most uncomfortable tableside chat.

My heart was pounding throughout the entire chapter. The last time that happened was chapter 84 and I gotta say, I finally feel like this whole Marley arc has been worth it. What an adrenaline rush it's become! Now that's now Attack On Titan is supposed to be. I can't wait to see everybody else again and proceed to reach the climax of the story.

The hype for SNK 100 is too real. Everything will explode

I need Ch100 right now immediately. Waiting another month is going to be torture. In the meantime I hope Porco and Pieck enjoy their time in the pit. If it turns out that Helos is Levi I will eat my own platform boots

It was amazing. Really great story.

I'm so glad this chapter is fake and SnK ended last month with everyone having a huge pizza party!

....is it December yet?

  DID THIS CHAPTER SHOOK YOU? 1,711 Responses

To not be excited by this chapter was simply not an option, but I’ll assume that those who voted “Yes”  are slightly more subdued than the majority of us who shouted “AW YISS”.

omfg hype for next chapter!!! How does Eren not have a leg, it really should've grown back, this doesn't make sense. Why is he even there, I feel like I missed something but it's probably just this manga's bizarre structuring. I've been selling my soul the past few months. There is nothing more to sell.

Kill me now The hype is REAL. I had a feeling issue #100 would be THE BANGER. This issue (#99) however set the stage for the next one. We have potentially Connie and Jean going undercover, we have Willy's solution that is just about to be revealed, the Asian woman's sudden leave, etc. I am really excited to see what will happen next month. Just need to add: seeing Eren's hand cut to threaten Reiner and Falco was such a power move, I had chills all over.

Boy howdy this was crazy I'll tell you what

Holy crap I love isayama. What a genius!

God help me I cannot wait another month

Endgame right here, brothers.

#shooketh

  WHAT SIDE CHARACTER MOMENT DID YOU MOST APPRECIATE? 1,720 Responses

The giant red chunk that wins this question  is the “All of the Above” option with 26.4% of the vote. “Every character with a partially hidden face” was second with 23.8%. There was plenty of excitement around Trapdoor-kun. He came in third with close to 20% of the vote.

I hope the SnK world has a heaven or some shit, because then Bertolt can maybe be finally happy together with his dad at least ;-;

ANNIE IS ALIVE AND FREE CHAPTER 100 HYYYYYYPE

I love moment with Trapdoor-kun/Connie (I hope it's him). He promised Reiner in Utgard Castle that he'll return the favor and I want to see their reunited. Maybe Connie will save Gabi and the other kids in this shitstorm. Please Isayama! Connie needs his personal moment!

  ON THE SCALE FROM “FLUFFY KITTEN” TO “ACTUAL PENNYWISE”, HOW CREEPY WAS EREN IN THIS CHAPTER? 1,727 Responses

Eren’s creep factor was strong! More than 70% of us picked a 4 or 5 on the “Actual Pennywise” scale.

Eren is 100% savage. Damn I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't like him. His meddling works so well with his bitter ass and his sense of entitlement over making all these fuckers taking his freedom away disappear and get their comeuppance (read: the whole world). Fucking human worms.

Eren using Falco as a hostage makes me cry

Eren gave me fucking chills of fear

I'm loving this Eren alignment shift. Lawful Good boy is changing and I am HERE for this.

Eren's "Same reason as you" and "I don't have a choice" are the single most savage moment in the series.

I don't like Eren at all... Poor Reiner

Eren is frickin INSANE

  ON THE SCALE FROM 1 - 420/69, HOW MUCH DID EREN ACTIVATE YOUR HARDENING ABILITIES IN THIS CHAPTER? 1,713 Responses

The creep factor and hobo hair didn’t hurt Eren’s attractiveness for the majority of the fandom since 36.1% would love to be locked in the basement with him right now. The second most popular choice was the extreme opposite. 22.2% selected “ewww no” on the question about Eren’s attractiveness.

why did y'all have to write "Lock me in your basement, Hobo Daddy!"

Protect Reiner Braun You've made me have sexual thoughts about long haired Eren, damn you pollster!!!!

Eren made both my jaw and panties fall straight to the floor. It's finally getting somewhere.

my mom called eren hobo daddy o__O"

Eren being so chilled out and yet so chilling at the same time...how does one being so cold make the room seem a lot hotter than it actually is?!

I want to officially shame Eren for telling Mikasa to cut her hair during training and now he could model for   L'Oréal (I love his hair but he is a hypocrite)

EREN FUCKING JAEGER. I want to say he's cool... but I feel so strangely conflicted. I'm turned on by his loony face but at the same time fucking terrified that it's all going to crumble. He'd grown so much. I can't believe the kid that we used to adore has turned into such a beast.

eren would be a 4/5 if he shaved his facial hair imo

  WHAT WAS EREN’S MOST CHILLING MOMENT? 1,717 Responses

Again with the “All of the above” as top pick. The most popular write in was “Reiner. Sit”. We clearly made a mistake when we forgot to include that.

Reiner. Sit.

His eyes all the time, they're like windows to hell

Everything! Eren was so chilling and bad this chapter, I love love loved it!

The fact that he's still missing a leg, it should've grown back, does he just keep cutting it off?

Messing with the head of an already mentally unstable Reiner

Eren did not come to play. Cutting his hand was a power move and then when he said "same as you." I can't wait to see him transform into a Titan. Reiner wasn't ready for this. He looks like he's gonna pass out.

I never thought i needed psycho!eren and badass!eren in my life. But then i read this chapter and HOOOOOOLY SHIT!

  WHICH OF REINER’S TORTURED FACES WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 1,707 Responses

I’m borrowing a quote from a friend who said, “Reiner had enough panels of his sanity crumbling like pie crust to fill a photo album”. We thought so too and had a hard time limiting ourselves to just these six. The look of horror on page 20 was Reiner’s expression as Eren told him, “I’m the same as you. I didn’t have any other choice.” It was the winner with 44.5% of the voice.

Note to Isayama: If you want to torture a character, hands on the face is the way to go (even when those hands are strangely tiny.)

Don't freak out, Reiner, your buddy Eren has come to save the world just like you've always wanted.

I wonder how bad  will Reiner's strabismus be when Eren ultimately touchs the Bertolt and Annie subject.

Someone please protect Reiner D: (and maybe give him a hug)

ISAYAMA STAHP TORTURING REIGNER!

#stopreinerabuse2017 >:) 

Reiner is the true victim here man

If Reiner didn't have a drinking problem before he sure has one now

I really don't like seeing Reiner looking so scared... It makes me feel so bad and helpless because I can't do anything. ;-;

I’m expecting Reiner to go full insane next chapter. Seriously, he can only be pushed so far!

I absolutely love Reiner's suffering faces :D I also loved how shocked Falco was. I have a feeling that something bad is going to happen, that why Eren told him to stay. He wants to save his life. I only wonder what will happen with the other kids.

reiner has baby hands

  CAN YOU PINPOINT THE EXACT MOMENT FALCO’S HEART SHATTERED? 1,700 Responses

This was not a fun chapter for our poor little bean. There was no shortage of moments with him looking on with wide-eyed horror as the situation was unfolding.  His expression on page 35 was the landslide winner. It’s the moment Falco realized Eren must’ve met Reiner during his time on Paradis.

My boy Falco doesn't deserve this.

DONT HURT BABBY FALCO 

Calm the f down Eren! You’re scaring Falco!

Falco is too precious for this messed up world

  WHAT IS RANDO MCSOLDIER WHISPERING TO MADS? 1,709 Responses

We have a poll meme now and don’t think I wont use it! Thank you to the 29.1% of you for playing along. We were a close second. Thank you also to everyone who took the question seriously. One respondent suggested they might be whispering about the fact that all the warriors were missing. I love that thought.

Yes. There's sour cream in Marley.

For the question of what Rambo McSoldier whispered, I'm actually kinda wondering if he's whispering about someone being missing from the crowd. (I.e, Reiner.)

how much farther is my sour cream joke going to go

I do NOT trust Eren one bit and we still do NOT know if there's sour cream. Crazy stuff man.

This wasn't an option for the question about what the soldier was whispering to Mads, but I thought it had to do with that panel where the guy on the rooftop said to "report it" no matter how small it is. The Marley soldier was relaying that report, whatever it is.

The lack of concern over the disappearance of all the Warriors from the audience is alarming...unless it's part of their plan, which removing the fighters from the crowd sounds like something inline with what Paradis would be attempting if they're about to hijack the play.

  CHARACTER ALLEGIANCES! WHICH SIDE DO YOU THINK EACH PERSON IS ULTIMATELY SUPPORTING?

So much uncertainty here! We are truly divided over Willy, Zeke and Kiyomi’s loyalties.

I do not think that Zeke would be on Paradis side, he had that chance and discarded it as an idiot.

The Warhammer Titan seems to know so very much about Paradis and the truth (and Eren's name) that I think it's no coincidence he looks like an adult long hair Armin.

Willy was such a sweet pie in this chapter. I wish he joined the Team Paradise.

Why did the Asian lady wish Willy good luck and then immediatly got away from the play as fast as she could? The plot thickens...

Everyone need to calm tf down and stop being huge mega douchebags on the whole warriors vs paradis sides of the fandom Ima lose my goddamn mind let yams tell the fucking story. This fandom is killing me far more effectively than yams ever could, crying Reiner or no!

The Asian lady and the rest of the Azumabito definitely know something, as they didn’t stay for Willy’s play, and she said that “she hoped he’d play his role ‘safely’”

What is Willy's game? With so many important people there, it is setup for a massacre. But, why tell the truth beforehand? There is a part of me thinking that it is all a setup to Willy simply saying we're all going back to Paradis.

  WHAT ALLIANCE DO YOU THINK IS MOST LIKELY? 1,697 Responses

EZ and REZ feelz so strong! A sizable percentage think Kiyomi is also a part of the alliance.

I love/hate how much Isayama plays with us (?).. this is the worst who is with  who and why and when and how is it its 99 chapters and i am stiff as confused as when i watched the first anime chapter in 2013...

Yeah, I still believe in Reiner + Zeke + Eren alliance. Grim Reminder won't happen and I will be a happy, happy fan." İt's amazing!

I think Willy is working with Armin, whereas, Eren is working with Zeke. Isayama did say they were going to split.

I think Zeke is helping Eren for the time being but I also think it is only a temporary alliance. He will double-cross Paradis like he did the Restorationists and Marley before the end, and he will be a sizable end-game threat to both Paradis and Marley.

"Lady" Kiyomi of the Azmabito family seemed like she was teasing Willy before his performance, since he was so nervous. But then, she said "you're very brave. And you know our family very well", she seemed like she was threatening Willy

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE CRAZY EREN. I think he's gonna offer an alliance with Reiner so they can both save the Eldians. I hope the SC will appear next chapter!

I'm willing to bet 'The Owl' Eren knew Willy and the Asian chick when he was still living.

  WHY WERE PORCO AND PEICK SEPARATED? 1,715 Responses

62% believe Porco and Pieck were captured to keep them from meddling. An even larger majority believe Zeke was in on it. Hmmmm....

about porco and pieck. I think they will be locked somewhere. But not to take their titan. Well, it's good opportunity to take their titan but... who wants do that anyway? Jean, connie? I think not.

PLEASE SAVE PIECK

"We done fucked up" -peick and porco

My favourite panel is Pieck looking at 'springer, not a shower' whilst falling into the sin bin. Wow, she's perfect.

Porko remains oblivious

  WAS ZEKE PART OF THE PLOT TO SEPARATE PORCO AND PEICK? 1,701 Responses

That would be a solid “yes”.

Zeke does seem to comply with too much questionable activity to not be working secretly with someone. He doesn't question being separated from Pieck and Porco, he's the only one not facing the guard that summons them, he let - encouraged- Reiner to go with Falco right as the ceremony started, and the baseball mitt Eren had likely had something to do with him. The Zekeret is still a wild card though so it makes all this hard to pinpoint.

  WHO IS THE SOLDIER THAT TOSSED PORCO AND PIECK INTO THE BALL PIT? 1,691 Responses

Nearly 80% of the fandom thinks Connie is  parading around Marley as a very tall Marleyan soldier. The write in responses on this were insane!

A pikupork shipper

Hajime Isayama

The Plothelping Titan

If Pieck knows him, the most probable option is Connie, buuuut... Is he even taller than Porco? He used to be really short, has he grown up?

When I first read the chapter and found similiarities between Connie and the trap-kun soldier I was like "what the fuck?!" And than I thought Connie being that soldier would be absolutely LIT.

I don't think any of the background characters are people we know. We saw how Isayama does that with Amputee-Kun, he appeared several chapters before the official reveal and there was no doubt once it was done. Trapdoor-kun, Helos Cosplayer, anyone else? Nope. as expected of pieck, she figured out the soldier was an impostor

Personally I really hate how people are making these predictions and analyzing details like chin shape in attempt to recognize him. We simply do not see enough of his face to tell who it is so it's pointless that people are arguing about it so vehemently. It could be Connie. I could be Levi. It most definitely isn't Armin. It could be a whole lot of people but right now at least half of the people will be wrong about it so arguing is going to get us nowhere. End of rant.

Zofia from the future, who traveled through paths

  DID PIECK PASS A MESSAGE TO THE SOLDIER SHE HUGGED? 1,717 Responses

Yes. As expected.    WHO IS THE HELOS COSPLAYER? 1,703 Responses

Jean trounced this poll question with 64.4% of the vote. “No one important” was second with 18.4%. 8% are hopeful it’s Levi.

A Majestic Stallion

A member of Paradis Team, but it is too early to say who

Jean dressed up as Levi aka the REAL Helos (Deja Vu).

Kenny "The Ripper" Ackerman rides again!

I want the Helos cosplayer to be Hange, but if it's not, Armin would be interesting.

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPEFUL FOR IN CHAPTER 100? GO NUTS AND CHOOSE AS MANY AS YOU WANT. 1,718 Responses

1,161 (67.6%) Seeing the rest of the SC

1,134 (66%) Annie. Please. It’s been 84 years,

1,027 (59.8%) Information about character loyalties

1,013 (59%) Learning Willy’s “one solution”

875 (50.9%) The Warhammer Titan

788 (45.9%) Eren wreaking havoc

781 (45.5%) More Reiner suffering

747 (43.5%) RIP everyone sitting in the audience at the play

652 (38%) Grim Reminder

565 (32.9%) Action with the Asian Clan

534 (31.1%) Overwhelmed Falco turning into a falcon and flying away

Seeing the rest of the Survey Corps is our dearest wish, followed by a sighting of Annie. The most common write-in was simply “Levi”.

RIP Gabi and everyone else in the audience. But mostly Gabi.

I'm saying it now - there won't be another Grim Reminder. It would be the worst possible move to make. However, I can see some sort of staged assault happening.

What if chapter 100 is just an elaborate reenactment of the finale of shrek two where shrek and the gang ambush the castle with a collosal gingerbread man whilst fairy godmother sings. Honestly I would pay good money to see willy start singing 'i need a hero' with a choir behind him make it happen isayama I believe in you.

I am going to sell my soul for chapter 100

All the pieces are being set in place. It is about to begin. We don't know for sure what will happen but things are about to get wild. Prepare the feelingstrain cause we're all hopping aboard

  HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CAST ON PARADIS? 1,712 Responses

No matter how great a chapter is, we remain desperate for the original cast. Last month 34.5% select “5” on the poll. This month that number was up to 38.1%.

And gimme some of that paradis crew daddy yamyams ✊️💦✊️💦😩

I'm severely lacking in Ackervitaminz

I'm tired of Marley to be honest. I hope next chapter shakes me, because this chapter didn't at all.

i still wanna know what the little miserable gremlin man is doing and my badass child Hanji

I loved the Marley chapters, but GOD I NEED MY PARADIS CREW THE SNEAK PEAKS ARE KILLING ME

while I haven't really been in any rush to return to the main cast, I'll be really excited to learn that they've all infiltrated Marley in this way, and for some final smack down to begin soon.

It's just a setup chapter I just want my Mikasa fix.

GIVE ME MIKASA AND ARMIN  BACK. I MISSED MY BABIES. I WOULD SELL BOTH OF MY KIDNEYS TO SEE THEM WELL AND HAPPY AGAIN. JUST GIVE ME THAT WISH ON CHAPTER 100 ISAYAMA. AM I ASKING TOO MUCH?

  WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST 1,717 Responses

Cries forever for my vets.

Nearly 100 chapters in and I feel like I'm losing my damn mind. Oof. Isayama...amazing. PS: I will continue to select 'The Vets' even long after The Vets are gone!!!

(fist bumps you, my friend!)

   WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES 1,695 Responses

Last month this question was 40% Tumblr and 48% Reddit. This month Reddit was most active on the poll with 56.8% of the responses. The other platforms remained consistent.

"Where do you primarily discuss the series" giving 4chan the silent treatment?  Although I guess what they do doesn't really count as discussing.

  ANY OTHER CHAPTER THOUGHTS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE? We had 360 write-in responses and some were essay sized in length! Thank you all for your enthusiasm! Here’s a portion of the comments.

  EXTRA DANCC

It's about to be lit fam

NERD-SQUAD TO THE RESCUE! Nothing but goosebumps for that entire chapter thankyou.

If Helos is actually a lie created by Marley and Tybur, then was the devil of all the earth a lie too? Or did it exist in reality? Will it return? And how the hell could Tybur know of Kenny and Uri sitting in front of that lake? Does he have some spies on Paradis? All this stuff is just becoming more and more fishy...

I want everyone to die.

Is it just me or did Reiner lose weight? Not aroused. Isayama sensei please try harder.

Pieck grabbing Zophia's shoulders. 100%. A+. As expected.

Okay, so, we've been speculating like mad on how Eren arrived in Marley. Reiner asked the same thing. And Isayama, through Eren's words, answered us: "is that really what you want to ask first?" LIKE DAMN, at this point I'm sure Isayama reads our blogs. At least he answered the "Why", kinda...

for god sake. reiner's suffering have to stop TTTTT-TTTTT

Bertl deserve this world.

Isayama has officially changed his icon to Reiner. Protagonist confirmed. It was Reiner's story all along. We were just along for the ride. The very traumatic ride.

I love the parallel between Reiner and that old man that hanged himself back in Paradis. I'm quite sure that Reiner, like the hanged-man, is looking for judgement. Cool to see how Bert nightmares played a big role in the end.

sc stans are insane I wonder how bad  will Reiner's strabismus be when Eren ultimately touchs the Bertolt and Annie subject.

needs more porco

Is Eren gonna sacrifice himself for the sake of saving the world as a scapegoat? Will his death be the only meaningful one in the whole series??

I hope to God Armin has a different haircut.

Learning that we're getting ova of Lost Girls and reading this chapter was the best way to start my week. I love you I wish Isayama hadn't made Reiner so hot. Too hard to focus on everything else going on =\

if reiner wants to get judged maybe he should look to judge judy for judgement, that'd be lit

I love my shifter kids, but they're fucked.

I don’t personally think there will be a Grim reminder 2.0, Paradis people, ie Armin, Hanji and all, usually don’t fight fire with more fire, they plan better shenanigans. Also, how they would be considered better than marleyans if they did the same stuff? They won’t play this low, they also know that Grim reminder™️ Is everything but effective.

Isayama why it's great that we have all those informative, descriptive chapters but something need to happen. I hope that next chapter will be full of action.

SHOW ME MIKASA AND LET HER AND EREN  BE MARRIED. And let annie be alive and well and dont make reiner any sadder. #chap100 No

Soldier, who are you? Willy, what are you really trying say? Eren, will you start causing some trouble? Levi, come out!" AAAAAAAAAAAaa!!!!

Pieck was actually exactly right! I always loved her design and oppressed but trying her best herb merchant aesthetic. So cool that she saved the lives of Reiner and Zeke, her influence on character relationships and the plot.

In RtS I wanted Reiner dead. Half to end his suffering, half to be vindicated for the things he'd done, but I guess it was Berty Beetle's turn.

I miss Levi so much, it's been such a long time since we've seen him and all I want is for him to keep his promise to Erwin and obliterate Zeke.  I can see him now, sitting with his arms crossed as Zeke enters the room.  "Been a while, you piece of shit.  Not so tough now when you're not ripping a bunch of people in half with rocks, eh?"  He cracks his knuckles.  "I will destroy you.  I will make it hurt.  Because you killed Erwin Smith and I promised him, I *promised him* that I would end this fight for him." Ahhhh please Isayama. <3

CHAOS FOR THE CHAOS GOD The slow build has been so worth it, we're all going to hell and I can't wait

Annie is alive. That shouldn't be a point of discussion anymore,

Please make my children happy, they suffered enough

I really think Jean is the Helos cosplayer because of face/mouth shape. That might be wishful thinking though :') Also DAMN EREN REALLY IS HOBO DADDY

ISAYAMA CAN YOU PLEASE DRAW BERTL FAMILY OR PHOTO OF HOOVER HOUSE OR WHAT SO I CAN REST IN PEACE I WANNA BERTL AGAIN I DONT CARE WITH OTHERS 

I just want to say that the chapter 99 pre release megathread on /r/ShingekiNoKyojin was one of the best things to ever happen, and i'm proud to be a part of it.

Now i just want to see jean What if we're all just too hopeful and in reality the helos cosplayer and trapdoor-kun are just normal people. If Annie isn’t coming back I’m rioting honestly. Also where TF is mikasa?!

I LOVE PIECK SO MUCH she is becoming one of my fave characters. Also hopefully nothing happens to cause Reiner’s mental state to become worse than it is right now. CAN’T WAIT FOR NEXT CHAPTER I think the Asian woman is Mikasa. My evidence to support this claim is that after she talked to Willy, she said ‘let’s go’ to her body guards. As if she knows what’s going on.

Seeing Pieck being smart and quick-witted made me like her even more. I'd be very sad if she ends up being killed or if Porco and her never truly meet the original main cast. Give us those warriors/soldiers interactions Isayama.

Annie...please...it has been too long now...

Regarding Eren he ackwonledged that Reiner and co. were just clueless kids trying to save the world when they destroyed the Wall. And he is stating that he as well has been forced in this role. I think he is trying to bring Reiner to his side as well as to remove a Warrior (and Falco) from the stage where things will soon go wild.

This shit was lit lit lit!!! I need war!

If the marley arc was a dubstep song, this chapter was the part where the song builds up in speed and frequency and ends right before it levels off and the beat subsequently drops. Ya feel? Warriors, come out to plaaaaay.

IMO PIECK IS ON EREN'S SIDE AND SHE ACTED IN FRONT OF PORCO

I want to know who works with who (especially ZEKE), how they arrived in Marley, I want the SC but also I really love the Warriors, asdfghjkl I really don't know what to expect but I love the way Isayama keeps us on this subtle line between ""OMG"" and ""WTF MAN"". I want some answers!  AND I DEFINITELY WANT ANNIE BACK

I hope Sasha is in Marley too. She needs pizza.

Too few panels of Marco's death. 😠

i miss zeke memes

PATHS

I love the art in the recent chapters. I will forgive slow pacing for good art.

Karina is a bitch

Isayama give Reiner a break or kill him already, end the suffering pls

And lastly, the Rick and Morty copypasta meme made it's way into our poll. I laughed!

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Attack on Titan. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Eren's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Attack on Titan truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Zeke's existential catchphrase "As expected of Pieck 👉😶👉," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Hajime Isayama's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Reiner and Historia tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

Thank you also to those left nice comments about the poll. We appreciate it!

[sexinamsterdam]

Astronaut Dr Kathy Sullivan just became the first?!!!!!!!!! women to reach the bottom of the Earth

What the acutal fuck. That was my first response to this statment. Given the last one and a half year when I reached all the possible reasons to be named the FIRST women to reach the bottom. And I am not going to quote Drake started from the bottom now we here. We are still very much at the bottom waving polietly to Kathy to take me out of here. 

Why behind every woman*’s anxiety there is a man*? The man. Very particual man. Any memory gives you shivers of embrassement whenever you think of acts you have been involved together and a tear of sadness at night when you miss his arms around you at night. Feelings are crazy and if you do not really know how to handle them it is especially hard. In my case this very particular man that I would call Einstein. I always thought Albert EInstein is super sexy. 

He was a particular factor in me reaching the bottom of my life. Before I knew him I have never expect from myself to be able to take so many drugs, cry so much, feel betrayed, lied to, manipulated, be so lonely but also sexy, smart, funny and free. The truth is he did not made me feel any of those good things. I only was telling myself that I feel this to compensate all his disgusting behaviour. Whenever he has done ten bad things, he will do one good and I would forget everything. Or you know.. he would just smile. or look at me. that is how easy is to steal someone. I was doing anything for him. Over and over I was conving myself to believe this time it will be different. We were using each other for different reasons and for different reasons we were not able to be apart from each other.

Albert Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

(un)fortunatly, currently I am not capable of giving myself absolution from this person and to write about him feels like dragging a knife through my whole body. Even though I might be done with it physically (have not seen him in few months) emotionally I am not. I am not writting this to blame him for everything wrong in my life. He just left me at the time in my life when I thought he would be next to me and without him it is especially hard. I fucking miss him and I know it is senseless. 

Kathy, if I dont tell to anyone I reached the bottom before you, would you take me back with you?

tinder is complicated now

*sex can be changed regardless. this is subjective. please read as you wish. love is love.