#dont mind me im just sleep deprived

[reaper-in-reverie]

At some point he'd forgotten why he even killed in the first place, why he felt these chills all the time. It was because he liked seeing people filled with distress, he liked to see the light miserably fade out of their eyes. No—

It was because he fucking hated them.

OR

zack foster's occasional musings. takes place pre-canon. which makes him about a teenager (?) also he's pretty much just as quiet as he was as a kid because i said so. very uncreative i think. warnings. murder, obviously. all things zack. tw for blood. knife. cw swearing (like twice). minor character death mentioned. mainly me yapping lol. character analysis. wc 855.

The city lights shone brightly against the dark night sky.

There air wasn't warm, but it wasn't freezing cold — and Zack treaded the dark, dusty back alleys of the place, spinning the knife in his hand, walking towards nowhere in particular. He waited. And waited. And waited, until there it was again.

A chill.

Like a silent call that took form as shivers up his spine. Zack turned back, a now determined look in his eyes as he moved out of the alley. There was no satisfaction for him until this chill ceased — it beckoned to him, it itched against his wrapped hands and guided his palms to the hilt of his knife. It invited him to plunge it into the chest or the stomach of the nearest person.

Zack found himself in another alley (stepping on something soggy under his boot and letting out a quick "ugh, shit,"), waiting for some drunkard to stumble out and find himself to be a very unlucky man.

Zack could hear the loud bar from where he was hiding in the semi-dark alley. It was bustling with chatter and laughter and music, and the occasional chorus of a group of friends shouting in unison. His hands gripped the handle of his knife tightly. He couldn't wait until this laughter and this noise turned into pained groans or terrified screams. Or better yet, an expression of complete and utter dread in contrast to whatever fun they had in their drinks and in the company of their friends. He couldn't wait for them to die, alone, at his burned hand.

And someone eventually did walk out. A man stumbling out of the bar, hiccupping, babbling nonsense, leaning against the walls of the alley, not even having a sense of direction as he stumbled into the darkness. He bumped into Zack with a drunken "whoops!", one Zack grimaced at in a mix of annoyance and disgust.

There wasn't any greeting, no warning, no threatening call — Zack just lunged at the drunk man, hands gripping the knife tightly as he shoved it into his back. Zack heard a loud groan come from his victim, but that didn't stop him; he kept stabbing him. Again and again. Until he fell to the ground. In the chest, in the stomach, anywhere that made his heart thump in excitement. Blood spilled, then pooled under the corpse, staining the clothes he was wearing. There was a rattle in the dying man's chest — he's choking on his own blood — and Zack knew it was done. He stared at his work, then walked away.

He was used to it at this point.

At some point he'd forgotten why he even killed in the first place, why he felt these chills all the time. It was because he liked seeing people filled with distress, he liked to see the light miserably fade out of their eyes. No—

It was because he fucking hated them.

Them. Them — everyone who looked happy, everyone who could laugh and live satisfied with themselves — them. They all just lied to themselves, cackling as if they weren't evil, as if they weren't monsters to everyone around them, as if they weren't vermin to the very ground they enjoy. They didn't deserve to live, they didn't deserve their glee — that was why Zack was honored to force upon these monsters their ultimate dread; death.

Zack was a monster, too.

A different kind, he always justified. He knew he was evil — he embraced it like he would to a mother he never had, cradled the reality in his hands — he didn't lie to himself. He was the kind that was never truly happy like them unless he killed them. He was the kind born from them.

But still a monster.

That was why he didn't kill that old man — guh, that old man. Zack kicked around a trash can with a frustrated look, finding himself in his previous alleyway. He didn't kill him because it'd be pointless. He wasn't happy in the first place, he was a miserable blind man, he was just a loner. Killing him wouldn't bring Zack any satisfaction.

Or maybe because the old man wasn't a monster. Maybe because he was a kind old blind man — maybe it was his misery that made him good.

And what do you want to do now? The questioned nagged at Zack every so often, and he always answered himself — I want to kill all these laughing bastards so that they fall to anguish and despair.

But he knew that wasn't what he always thought. Not before the old man died, anyway. Maybe it was just for a night, just for a few hours, that Zack was satisfied with himself. Without blood. Without a knife in his hand. Without looking for happiness in the despair of other monsters.

Things would be a lot different if that old man were to still be alive.

But he doubted anything would be normal.

Zack didn't even know his name.

© reapkusho on tumblr. 2024. all rights reserved. refrain from translating, copying, or stealing in any way, etc.

[purpurussy]

i log on to this site. i write essays about dnp and their gay little antics. i save them to my drafts because i am scared of being perceived. i log off again

[devestatedutterlydevestated]

(wearing bloodstained clothes, standing over a dead body) why do i have to be the big person? i dont want to be the bigger person. do i look like a big person to you? i am just a small, tiny, unassuming little guy. look at me! im just a little guy! im just a lil uwu just a helpless lil dude who can do no wrong :3

[skylarkking]

Part of me wishes to be crushed by a spider lady

Like please mommy

[orcelito]

Went skimming thru late trimax For Reasons, got caught up reading the Legato fight, realized things about the fight that I never had before & went WOW, I kind of want to write an analysis post right now!

Felt the same kind of insanity grip me, however momentarily, that fueled all my analysis posts however many months ago. Too tired to actually word things coherently right now, but...

I May or may not have a full(ish?) analysis of the Legato & Vash fight a la style of This post analyzing the Trigun: Multiple Bullets fight that got unexpectedly kind of popular. People seemed to really appreciate that one, & I even had some ppl saying it could be cool if I did that for others?

So. Legato fight. Maybe. Feel free to remind me later if u see no mention of it again for over a week lol

[ultimatewildcard]

I really need a soldier boy/hughie fanfic, but specifically I want it to be them realizing they like eachother in the hotel scene. But I also want a fanfic of a more possessive soldier boy being even more fucking pissed at homelander when hughie tells him what homelander has dne to him

Bonus points if homelander kidnaps hughie and that causes soldier boy to snap

[bahoreal]

i want to make my stand for aro/arospec ted. i truly believe the creators and writers did not intend for this (possibly because they didnt know its a thing lol) but:

doesnt date for three years in richmond, is completely happy and satisfied with his platonic friendships and his fatherhood

sleeps with sassy multiple times before asking her out (needs some kind of connection to someone before he can think about a romantic entanglement)

wasnt actually offended or upset about sassy saying no, was more upset about her calling him a mess

canonically is not good at romance and michelle felt overwhelmed by him (doesnt know what people actually like in romance just goes overboard with romantic gestures. this isnt common to all aros but i know i get this lol)

i think we should think a little deeper about arospec ted who mistakes intense platonic feelings for romantic feelings

[becauseplot]

Idk thinking about Cellbit’s current investigation of Richarlyson’s kidnapping and how it’s,, so similar to his investigation of Felps’ kidnapping, what with the drama of the current arc.

It’s not a perfect one-to-one but once again, Cellbit is trying to infiltrate the Federation by doing tasks for them. At the same time, he is trying to investigate the disappearance of someone very close and dear to him, a member of his family. Meanwhile, (and especially now with q!pac getting the “happy treatment” from the Federation) the rest of his family is unavailable, distanced, and he’s now at odds with a lot of them. He and Forever are on awful terms, once again torn apart by a matter of Richarlyson. Again, the only person he has left who he’s close to is Roier (Richarlyson is, of course, out of the picture this time.) And because his tasks for the Federation are supposed to be kept on the down-low, a lot of the investigation is going to have to be done on his own.

The main difference is that last time, he initiated this lonesome investigation. He willfully martyred himself, he willingly isolated himself, he planed it. The situation he was in when investigating Felps was shitty, sure, but at least he felt like he had some control over the situation. He did it on his terms.

Not this time.

[cerealmonster15]

jesus christ like i only finished the sumeru story like a few months ago but i already forgot your literal first intro to kaveh is a scene of several minutes of him and alhaitham fully bitching at each other

[alligaytorswamp]

Im kind of feeling like i can't take it anymore

[databent]

[pained wailing emoji]

[lucysarah-c]

You know ... This is not the first time that I post Levi X Oc/reader art, smut or not, that yet gets me a "your content had been reported in Tumblr"

Which is weird because fine, maybe a nipple and a bulge is a bit too much for Tumblr standards YET I see all the time sexual art content of canon X canon ships without even the "mature" label. I'm not complaining, because their art is amazing but... This is the third time it happens... Even with the "kissing" scene that had nothing SEXUAL on it. I'm starting to think it's AT least weird 😂

[animnightmare]

"If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?"

"Id make you stop asking stupid questions like these."

"No! my body."

"Your body?"

"Yeah, physically."

"Hmm...Id put more wrinkles on your face."

"Wrinkles!?"

"Yeah. Smile lines."

[nopeferatu]

grrrrr *my eyes turn black as i snarl and growl and bite and bite and bite*

[cherry-colored-petals]

Context: me and Esther (@mixed-kester) were discussing about our yanderes from Ansy's Pen Pal event on @throwaway-yandere (gonna fix the tag with it soon oops)

Anyways I think Esther doesn't want to be with Dorian but I am perfectly fine with not having Wanderer yet hahahaha God help me if he finds out—

[nerdie-faerie]

The naps I take after pulling an all nighter where I just collapse for however long I have before dinner are always the best sleep I'll ever have