#dont let them silence us
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THEY WILL NOT SILENCE US.
#transgender rights are human rights#human rights shouldnt be debated#human rights should not be political#human rights#i dont like to get political but this is a matter of the fact that i WILL lose my rights#fuck trump#GET TRUMP OUT OF OFFICE NOW#fuck jd vance#keep fighting#dont let them win#dont let them silence us#america is not the land of the free if it actively takes rights#america is not first world#america is a joke#the government is a joke#donald j trump is a joke#fuck donald trump#fuck maga#maga can kiss my fucking ass#if you guys are interested i can take ych commissions for these cause i wanna be able to afford my root canals#trump is a threat to democracy#trans rights#poc rights#womens rights#eat the rich#black lives matter#no uterus no opinion#transgender rights#fuck you if you voted for trump#fuck you if you didnt vote
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The way its just tacked on like an afterthought...
We are witnessing the grotesque reality of the martyred Palestinians and thousands of their massacred children being written off as mere afterthoughts. The way western media outlets steadfastly refuse to call the Israeli aggression and onslaught for what it is, which is genocide and ethnic cleansing, is just another way of dehumanizing Palestinians.
#what the fuck#like an "oh and here's a fun fact!!!'#disgusting#keep talking about palestine#keep being loud#dont let them silence us#free palestine#free free palestine#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#west bank#free the west bank#gaza#gaza strip#free gaza#end the occupation#end the apartheid#end the genocide#fuck israel#fuck america#israel is the killer!#israel is a terrorist state#israel is committing genocide
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Who's gonna get whacked by the snowstorm? It's supposed to get me the next two days and I'm kinda excited tbh 👀
ARE Y'ALL PREPARED?!
#my animals all should be okay#im just a bit worried about the half wild chickens who wont let me put them in the coop#or even the garage#i know theyll be ok with the cold im just worried about how deep the snow will be#ill have to keep up on making paths for them#other than that#i have enough animal and people food to last awhile and i have extra straw in case someone needs more#also got ten gallons each of diesel and gas#lots of blankets medical supplies board games#oh dang i should make sure my portable phone charger is charged#i really need to get a solar charger#the thing im worried about most is if the power goes out#we have a generator but if we can keep the house warm during the day we might turn it off at night#and i know its stupid but i have anxiety and nighttime is really hard for me#especially in pitch black silence#i dont like the way my fear and anxiety makes my heart feel#anyway#ill stop rambling now#yall are in my prayers#please pray for us
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Aaaaaa omg I'm so honored that my silly ask inspired more Anharu art!! They are THE best friends with secret gay feelings Of All Time, to me. Thank you for this blessing 🙏 the Anharu nation, all like. 5 of us, are being FED good today!!
I don't have much I can offer in return, but I did write this itty bitty Anharu fic a little while back? https://archiveofourown.org/works/59091166
On the lighthearted side of things: I think An tries flirting with Haruka at some point but realizes that it's just too similar to the playful banter that they've always done so it just flies completely over Haruka's head. They've been holding hands since they were little, of course Haruka doesn't think anything of it when An does it now.
On the more angsty side of things: I often think about An seeing Haruka's initial rise to fame from afar and being increasingly worried about the worse parts of the idol industry. It chews up the person she knew and spits out something manufactured and Not Right; someone constantly aware of what she's wearing, what she's eating, what she's doing in public, all to maintain that idol image. Haruka her best friend and Kiritani Haruka the Idol are almost different people and it scares her a little. MMJ being such a source of positivity was a massive relief.
more than 2 weeks late reply but anyway,, (looong post ahead ksjsghj)
ur very welcome anon!! im glad to know that im feeding us 5 anharuers. we deserve this tbh. we deserve good fucking food from the Very Cool Pair of Childhood Friends Who Are Obviously Gay And In Love With Each Other. and since ive done a few anharu art already i might as well continue doing more to feed us all 🥹 (goodbye minoharu and more more jump /j)
and your fic. OH MY GOD ANON YOUR FIC. im gonna be real with you ever since i got your ask i still have the fic opened in my browser 😭 i will keep it open and read it forever!! idc if its short!! i LOVE it!! Absolute Chef's Kiss 👌!! I NEED MORE ANAHRU IN THAT KIND OF FLAVOR HKAFGJBS 😭😭😭 ALSO idk why but after reading it, i imagined that this is a recurring convo of theirs. it starts with whatever topic then one of them deviates and it ends just like the fic. this happens over adn over and over and we're just out here wisHING ONE OF THEM CONFESS ALREADY OR SMTH 😭😭
lastly, your lighthearted anharu reminded me of that 'i love you too, egg' meme so, as what youd expect from me, i cant help but put the two sillys in that meme:
Just In: Sources Have Confirmed That Kiritani Haruka Is Dense (real)
and even if An would outright kiss her—a simple, long one or sloppy style even, your choice—Haruka STILL wouldn't think her Bestest Childhood Friend is in love with her, nope! (someone save them)
#asks#art#project sekai#pjsk#anharu#haruan#an shiraishi#haruka kiritani#so what i was thinking there is actually slow burn#(i remembered while uploading the pics and looked it up to confirm)#and yep it fits their dynamic alright LMAOO#betting an has the higher chance of confessing. that doesnt mean she 100% will likely do it anytime tho 🫠#if it was years since they last saw each other then it would also take years for one of them to make a move 🗣️🗣️🗣️ /hj#anyway i was about to draw the angsty anharu but *looks at my pending stuff left on my very tiny plate*...yeah.#tho what i have in mind is there was probs few cases in the past that An closes WEG's tv whenever haruka is on it#(btw lets just pretend that WEG even has a tv somewhere ok)#even if there're people using it. an would always ignore the questions & just continue on w/ her cafe duties in silence#and like what anon said it just scares her. she'd much rather look away to save her sanity than accept the 'idol haruka' being advertised#:'^))))#i love anharu#aughh this ones so long im sorryy everyone#i hope people see my vision tho! (and dont mind the way i write if ever it sounds awkward(?) for some 🥹 my english aint englishing rn idk)
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breaking news local he/it nb creature reads worlds most abysmal rw take
#how about we stop arguing about a fictional robots pronouns hm. how about that#as a nonbinary person who literally uses he/they . shut up . silence.#i dont even LIKE they them that much its just a placeholder so cis people actually use my fucking pronouns and dont sheher me#nonbinary people are allowed to fucking use he/him !!! fuck off !#urgh .#i HATE HATE HATE this . nonbinary people arent just 'woman lite' we're allowed to be masculine or use he him . urgh.#i was stressed about this bcz . they/he suns hc but . now im just pissed#let people have headcanons.#assholes. god.#lev.txt#mmm .#vent#yeah i think it counts
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#im so tired of everything of living no matter what i do its always the wrong thing#i make everyone so uncomfortable and unsafe and i dont know how to stop it#everyday i stop myself from listing who i want to gift my hideous belongings#because im tired#others will find more use. more joy of them#meanwhile they are only getting dirtied by me#i must have been terrible in a past life. to be such a hideous person now#i just want to improve and change but its like everything just makes me fall deeper into this hole#i have depression but i cannot show symptoms. im the idiot trying to stop myself because i dont want others to feel bad#but its the others that make me feel like this#sorrows should not be shown. happiness cannot be shared. i have to be the perfect unemotional puppet to be loved#but my body and mind keep decaying and making it so much harder everyday#i fear soon i will be too weak to keep trying. and that the last thing i will hear will be total silence (from being ignored)#or a constant onslaught of guiltripping for letting myself get to such a state#i await the decaying with resignation because i have nothing else#haunted.txt
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I think I have avpd. I just relate a lot to the symptoms I've found and listening to people talk about it I resonate with too
#i saw some people say. despite having such an intense need for connection and belonging they just self sabotage and have a genuiene fear#i felt that so hard.#i know i have rocd but i never understood why it was so bad. why i always felt so alienated all the time#why i let myself just fall into the background. why i have such a naturally anxious demeanor and overthink comfortable silence.#i worry too much all the time about how im percieved and the fact that i dont fit in and i could never wrap my head around why#or why i push people away all the time for seemingly no reason. i even used to do it in highschool.#getting close to people. being vulnerable with them. its so so anxiety inducing for me.#i thought it was avoidant attachment but it feels like more than that. i dont know.#it would make sense ... im worried im faking it though. idk.#i want to ask my therapist what she thinks. i brought it up before but she kinda brushed it off as avoidant attachment#idk. ive been thinking about it a lot but i also dont want to fakeclaim.#diary
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Remembering that a 4 hour psychological test means 4 hours under the examiner's microscope. I hope they let me listen to music during a written test, but idk if that would defeat the purpose or not. I... really don't know what to expect tomorrow, and it's kind of making me a bit nervous. Lol.
#speculation nation#i dont like to be psychologically analyzed. god i just remembered i have therapy this week too.#which that at least. i mean it's uncomfortable but ultimately it's just talking.#psychological testing they are gonna be Watching me. there will be the questions but also they will be judging my actions#and im so used to masking but that would actually go against me in that instance.#and i really hope theyll let me listen to music bc 4 hours of silence sounds like hell on fucking earth.#but i dont know if that's. part of the process??? put me through stress to see what makes me tick???#my goal is to get an adhd diagnosis but im also scared theyre gonna pick up on the autism.#im gonna be honest. but i didnt plan to get the autism diagnosed bc i dont want the downsides of that#ya know. societal and institutional ableism. etc etc. they might take away opportunities from me.#but it goes hand in hand. and surely it couldnt be too bad if they pick up on it...#i could manage through 4 hours without music but itd be hard. and it could do bad things to my brain.#i think im preemptively prickling up. like a porcupine. i dont want them Looking at me.#i need to just... chill out. whatever comes will come. and it's ultimately in my best interests.#this is what i need to get my adhd meds. it'll be worth it.#..... but im also worried about what else might show up. i know i got Problems. but i dont want them to... know about them.#all sorts of awful invasive questions about me and my past.#for someone who acts like such an open book i really am so allergic to actual emotional vulnerability huh?#decent chance i'll just dissociate thru the whole thing. to get through it.#cut the emotions off. who needs em. the brain can factually answer things without the emotions' input.#anyways im gonna go do some chores. peace#negative/#lol.
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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*chanting* I do not have to justify my suffering I do not have to justify my suffering I do not have to justify my suffering I do no-
#daily affirmation >_<#but no for real i need to not care about this#thinking about how i COULD make a post detailing the the problems ive faced that i dont talk about#but really who benefits from that? i dont think i would#and i dont think other people deserve to suffer in silence just because their problems are less severe than mine either#i dont think its useful to compare trauma or pain like that#ive maintained my compassion for both myself and others and if someone else hasnt been able to do that thats their problem#im actually quite proud that i didnt let what happened to me turn me into a jerk#i dont talk about the worst things that happened to me on tumblr dot com because its *tumblr*#its public and some of the things i have experienced arent exactly tumblr appropriate in my opinion#im waiting to talk to a therapist about them
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youtube
FLY OCTO FLY / EBB AND FLOW LIVE TOKAIGI 2019 I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE
#ITS SO FUUUUUN I LOVE FUN!!!! LET ME HAVE FUN.#anarchy rainbow is also really good live but god i dont know if theyll ever top this 1 for me#MAYBE if the last concert had actually haf a crowd LOL they had them do so much crowdwork to silence. so weird#itll get used again hopefully. with a crowd.#the kat goes meow#splat#video#Youtube
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People are always like "but you shouldn't need it to be you/your daughter/your wife" or "you shouldn't need some metaphor to understand" or "why are we watering this down for people" - Listen:
If I've learned anything by the (weak, watered down, unfocused) leftist reaction to the current attempted genocide of trans people, it is that very few people will act or put themselves in danger unless it DIRECTLY affects them. ESPECIALLY other minorities who are not multiply marginalized (w the understanding that can bring) but Do have a lot to lose.
That's not true for every person! Some people have a basic understanding of empathy and compassion. Some people have higher level critical thinking skills or kindness. But I hate to break it to you - all of those things (empathy compassion critical thinking even kindness) are SKILLS. They are not a given. They are rarely honed by accident. They are difficult and many times come at a cost to you to learn and practice.
People may not have these skills for a MILLION reasons, but many of them are linked to poverty and generational trauma, lack of funded public education, and living in a dystopian capitalistic society that prioritizes individualism and leaves barely any time or energy for thinking through complex ideologies unless you MAKE that time. None of those reasons are "they're just too dumb" or "they only have the capability for hate and evil."
There are people doing very bad, purposefully malicious, monstrous things - and they are still people. If we lose sight of that we lose sight of the lengths of dangers and kindness capable of EACH of us. Beyond those with real harmful intent, there are MANY MANY MANY more people who are letting themselves accept the wrong solutions to the same problems we all see. For example, many of them genuinely want to protect children! And they listened to the answers for how to do so given to them by church and state and friends.
THOSE are the people we need to make metaphors for, we need to connect with individually, we need to show how and why this will impact THEIR lives. In a perfect world where the entire American society wasn't run on "us v them" that wouldn't be necessary!!! But it is! Because they want to protect the people IN THEIR LIVES right now, not a theoretical kid somewhere else they can't imagine being anything like their own. They want to put food on the table and a roof above the heads of their family, and they have grasped onto ANYTHING that they think will let them keep providing that.
We need to show these people how easily their child could be the center of these debates. How limited a world their child will grow up in without access to information on different ways of being and existing. We need to show them how and why this will impact them, their daughters, their wives, because we need to break through that concrete wall of defensiveness, built and calcified by the words of politicians and leaders with malicious intent but hiding nothing but desperate fear. We need to make it personal, to make it real FOR THEM, to make it understandable without a college level degree of critical thinking analysis why and how this war will show up at their doorsteps too.
It's exhausting. It's hard!!! It's infuriating and invalidating and endless. But appealing to their humanity, in whatever means that must take, is the only way to thaw out those who may stand with us. Because if we stand alone, I know with every bone in my body we will fall alone as well.
#queer#trans#empathy#critical thinking#politics#who is your true enemy: those in silence or casting a single uninformed vote - or those telling them what to do and painting us as monsters#that doesnt mean you shouldnt be angry or betrayed or fearful or mistrusting it just... means falling into those things wont help ys#wont let anyone reach them#we have to reach those we can we HAVE to or we have nothing not even those we marched beside are standing with us#and if youre reading this like “whats rich peoples excuse they had good schooling and no poverty to run them into the dirt exhausted#umm rich people Are the Problem and also i dont know what their excuse is - being out of touch? not meeting real different humans?#being isolated in an echo chamber of beliefs in an environment led by and filled w the very monstrous sharks creating these laws#like idk try to get through to them too but idrc theres like 8% rich people thats the worlds worst minority#we need to get through to the poor working class masses and middle class WASPS with voices at the PTA meeting and the people Around Us
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oughhhghh where is that "don't trust anything you think abt your life past 9pm" post when you need it
#its ''feel like an alien'' hours once again#recently ive been trying to unmask a little bit but even that tiny bit is like. breaking the dam of how weird i am#ive barely scratched the surface and im already starting to get those Looks that i haven't gotten since middle school#i wouldn't mind masking at work if i could just figure out how the hell to correctly bounce back questions#like the 10 year old in me gets so desperate to talk about herself in a genuine fashion that i can't stop myself#unless i am 100% masking. like even a little bit less and i overshare like an idiot#i dont really care to learn body language yet but i need to know how to refuse to answer personal questions#without making it weird#like allistics seem to just Know how to carefully roll with those questions without actually saying anything#''you should be genuine bc you'll feel better'' there is very little that makes me feel worse than oversharing at work#i work with conservatives baby. a little oversharing here and there leads to them finding shit out abt me that they WILL use against me#and i do not trust myself enough to not actually tell them in the moment because i can't fucking lie to save my life#when someone asks me a genuine question i just can't do anything other than offer a genuine answer#and i want to stop ! i dont feel comfortable sharing these things about myself so why wont i shut my fucking mouth!!!!!#i need to learn to let people simmer in silence. i am always too focused w filling the silence to prevent people seeing how weird i am#its always another little fucking quip with me. i can never just shut my fucking mouth#sorry#vent
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Read Part One of "Breeding Hips" here...let's gooooooo!
It was supposed to be a simple beach trip-- "Give the kids a break in Okinawa", Gojo said. "It'll be fun!" Gojo said.
Kento had failed to check the staff attendance list. Of course they'd invite you, with your natural warmth and the way the kids loved you. Of course they'd invite you, when you'd seemed so down lately.
Of course they'd invite you, with how the sea-breeze pleated the saran around your hips, barely-there, almost as soft as the way your plush creased at the top of your thighs when you sat he'd heard Shoko laughingly call them your "thighbrows" and how he could have bitten Shoko's head off as you cringed mortified and covering yourself up shit don't go please dont leave--
In his hotel room, Kento groaned in abject self-pity. He tried to breathe in time with the hushed roar of the waves, lapping up the shore like a lovers' tongue. In...out...in...out.
His head rested against the cool wall, his forearm planted above it, while his other hand tried to grip his aching length into submission, torturing himself with fuck up after fuck up after fuck up and it all started with that ill-fated car journey--
He'd take the edge off, he thought, slipping his hand into his beach shorts, shivering as he swirled pre-cum over his hypersensitive tip, biting the back of his hand as he began to stroke himself-- just one more time, and then I can cope--
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"...and in the most disrespectful possible way?"
Kento made a strangled, animalistic noise in the base of his throat, stalling the car at the traffic lights. He sat, ramrod straight, sweating like a virgin.
"...dont." He warned, his voice throaty and dangerous. "Don't."
A frisson of electric ran down your spine. You clenched your fists in your lap, staring straight ahead, and whispering; "Oh...okay."
The car journey was fraught with silence. For "disrespectfully" were the words bloomed into pictures, graphic and obscene, that Kento used to get himself off to you. "Disrespectfully" were the stones of shame weighing his pockets, as he showered himself down, water rehydrating the cloying cum stuck to his belly. "Disrespectfully" were the feral parts of him that sought to lift you onto the counter and bite you, until you were crushing his head between the thickness of your thighs.
"Disrespectfully" was so unprofessional, Kento could vomit. Still, saliva pooled under his tongue, unable to eschew "disrespectfully" from his mind when you asked him in that petalsweet voice.
"Disrespectfully" opened the car door for you. "Disrespectfully" offered you the curtest of bows as you headed inside. "Disrespectfully" waited until you'd definitely gone, before rubbing his eyes so hard, lights fizzlepopped behind them. "Disrespectfully" took him over the edge again, and again, to the imaginary sound of his thighs slapping into the backs of yours.
You screamed into a pillow, never able to look Nanami Kento in the eye again, after overstepping so hard, so fast.
The next few weeks of work with Nanami Kento were like sharing an office with a well-dressed wooden broom. Even pencil skirts didn't appear to break him.
They did. He spent the best part of two weeks stiff, in every way.
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He hadn't known you'd be coming to the beach, until the watermelon incident.
You and Shoko had been day-drinking, in just swimsuits, and you brought the curves and giggles of the Piña Colada glass with you. Misty as the clouded glass, you swayed with Shoko, and each step you took closer, the lower Kento's IQ dropped, point, by point, by point. That heavy arse flicked from side to side, bopping Kento's sanity away with it.
Somehow, impossibly, you held a whole watermelon in the deep divot of your waist. Your hip shelved it up, your squishy saddlebags plumping out beneath the heavy, verdant weight. With one arm draped above to hold the watermelon in place while you staggered hand in hand with Shoko, it all looked so effortless. Kento was sweating bricks, his book all but forgotten.
Thank god for dark sunglasses. He looked up without looking up. Hidden in sun-lounger shade, he watched you, obsessing in secrecy, a modern day peeping-Tom. You're okay Nanami pull yourself together stop being such a fucking boy--
"Hey, hey..." Shoko teased you, grasping your hip-squash with the girlish friendship needed to get away with it, "...I bet you could crush that watermelon between your thighs."
Oh. Oh no. Oh no no no no--
You laughed, you and Shoko high off your own supply. Shoko sat on the sand, placing the watermelon between her thighs, trying her best to squeeze them together as you wiped tears away, sitting down beside her.
And Kento watched how your ass spread, how your thighs spread, like melting gumdrops, want to fucking bite them--
"I'll give it a go...c'mere c'mere...nonono Shoko, 's my turn!"
Shoko rolled the watermelon across the sand. Kento wasn't aware his mouth had dropped open, when you opened your legs, leant back on the sand, like heaven's gates opening...and you clamped the watermelon between them.
And squeeeeezed.
Kento pressed his book over his lap, a tent over a tent. His mouth was dry, his throat thick. He moaned, somewhere deep in his chest, as a hot little dribble of pre-cum dripped down the leg of his swim shorts.
Surely she can't break a watermelon just between her thighs, those hips couldn't be that stro--
Crack.
Shoko cheered. You threw your arms in the air, and cheered. Your inner thighs dripped, stickysweet with watermelon juice. You lay back, laughing in the sand, your arms still above your head.
Kento relieved himself to the bar, his head swimming, still clamping his book over his throbbing lap, far too dizzied to be surreptitious.
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The day-drinking buzz faded by the time the seagull calls grew tired, against ombre skies. Shoko remained smashed, and Gojo designated-driver'd her to her room. Sandals grasped in one hand, with the salty sting of a chafe between your legs, you ambled across the beach, past the waterside bar.
Except, you stopped. To see him.
Kento's head was in his hands, his shirt opened and hanging off broad, lightly freckled shoulders, seasalt crystals down his back. You frowned at the volume of empty glasses in front of him.
"...Ken--...Nanami?"
Kento's elbow gave out under him with a grunt of surprise, his head lurching, swoopy before recovering. Narrow, slanted eyes glared at you, bleary.
"...oh. 's you."
You drew your saran around yourself, astonished by how such a big strip of fabric was still barely enough to cover your arse. Kento could feel himself thickening already, burying his face in his hands again with a groan. He stood, his legs barely responding to commands. He tried to sober himself, standing tall and stern, his usual self, wettened by drink.
"I'll walk you to your room."
"You don't have to do that--"
"I insist."
In truth, you weren't sure if you should walk Kento back to his room instead. He repeatedly fell a few steps behind, before shaking himself off and catching up again.
Each time, Kento's drunk eyes dropped, the mesmerising swing of your hips, the dimpled jiggle of your arse...how his tongue thickened like his cock, thirsty and hungry all at once and god she's lovely too the whole deal the whole nine yards shit Kento how can you look at her so--
"Thanks. For walking me back."
Kento clenched. Time's up. His face was flat, expressionless, downcast to the floor. You cleared your throat, opening your door and stepping through.
"Goodnight, Nanami--"
A foot jammed your door, Kento growling in pain as it squashed his sandal'd foot. You looked slowly up to his face, feeling a trickle of hot, terrifying anticipation slide down your spine. Kento's eyes drilled into you, whiskey on his breath, sobering rapidly as he made up his mind.
"I'd...like to come in."
You throbbed. Every hair stood on end as you asked.
"...respectfully?"
Kento's jaw clenched so hard, you heard the crack.
"Disrespectfully."
#jjk#pseudowho#Haitch#kento nanami#jjk nanami#nanami kento#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x reader#nanami fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami headcanons#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami smut#kento nanami x y/n#nanami#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#jjk kento#Nanami
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need you - Chris Sturniolo
summary: after a lot of convincing, you finally convince your best friend, chris, to take away your biggest insecurity. being a virgin.
contains: fluff, smut, needy!reader, gentle!chris, virginity loss, a lot of praise.
-----------------└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘-----------------
i lay on chris's chest, as scrolls through his phone. my eyes fixed on his long fingers, swiping across his screen.
chris puts his phone down before looking at me. "y/n..." he speaks up with a small laugh,
i sit up off his warm chest, my back now resting against the headboard. "hm?' i hum in response,
"whats up with you?" he asks, fixing my hair.
"nothing." i fidget with my hands,
a lot was up, actually. my biggest insecurity is that i'm almost 21, and a total virgin. chris doesn't know this, the subject has never really been brought up between us. but i see him so often, and i've known him forever! it wouldn't hurt to ask him to take my virginity?
"i've known you for like- 6 years, i always know when somethings up." chris smiles, pushing my shoulder lightly.
"i'm okay- i promise." i laugh nervously.
chris stares at me blankly, his eyes roaming over my face. he knows i'm lying.
the silence grows as he waits for an actual answer out of me. i fidget with my bracelet, avoiding eye contact with chris.
"can i ask you something..." i whisper, finally looking up at chris.
"uh oh." he mutters,
"shut up- i'm trying to be serious" i scoff, chris reaches out and grabs both of my hands, holding them.
"you may talk to me" chris forces a stupid voice,
"you are such an idiot." i groan, throwing my head back.
"no- tell me!" chris cuts me off,
"okay, but you have to promise to not bully me forever- like actually if you say no to this i will rot away from embarrasment" i ramble,
confusion grows on chris's face by the second.
he nods, waiting for me to say something.
"im- i'm a.. you know?" i whisper,
chris shakes his head with confusion painted across his face, "a criminal?"
"no! a virgin- chris i'm a total virgin." i sigh,
"what does this have to do with me?" chris laughs, his cheeks a light shade of pink
"i want you to fuck me." i blurt out, clasping a hand over my mouth.
"what?" he responds, his eyes widening and his chest rising and falling dramatically.
"please..?" i whisper, avoiding eye contact with him.
he runs a hand through his hair,
"i don't want things to be weird between us y/n," chris states seriously,
"they won't be, it'll just be one time-" i protest,
"look- i think you're a very attractive young woman-" chris starts but i cut him off,
"you sound like my dad!" i whine,
he grabs my chin, making me look at him, "just listen- okay?'
i nod, he lets go of my chin.
"i want you to think if this is actually what you want- because i'm thinking that just is a desperation type thing." chris says,
"i'm not desperate, i just dont want to die a virgin!"
chris looks around the room,
"please- just one time?" i ask, he stays silent
"then we don't have to speak about it again- i just need you to fuck me once" i continue,
chris lets out a chuckle,
"what. is. funny!" i say with frustration laced in my voice,
"i never thought you would be begging for me to have sex with you" he grins widely,
i let out a laugh, "shush"
"c'mon- just teach me how to-" i ramble again, but chris cuts me off,
"okay- fine- lets just do it" he smiles, covering his face
i clap, "yay!"
he scoffs, "you're stupid."
"i don't care, so- where do we start?" i smile nervously,
he stands up off the bed and walks over to the door, locking it.
"um-- do you ever do stuff with yourself?" chris asks, walking over to me and standing above me by the bed.
"yeah." i reply, chris nods understandingly,
"like what?" he asks, i hesitate before answering,
“just stuff with my hands.” i say, fidgeting with my bracelet,
“okay- yeah that’s perfect! see your not a total virgin.” chris smiles at me,
i scoff as i sit up, cross legged on the matress as i wait for some sort of instruction.
“right- well.” chris stammers,
“you’ve done this before right?” i tease earning a flick from chris,
“obviously, i’m just not sure how you want to do this.” he rolls his eyes,
“i’ll do anything you tell me to chris.” i say, locking eyes with him.
“yeah?” he grins, reaching down and tugging up my shirt.
his long, cold fingers graze against my bare skin.
i feel the fabric of my shirt slide up off my body, leaving my in my dark red, lacy bra.
his eyes just roam over my body, his chest rising and falling.
“you’re really pretty, you know that?” he breathes out, tugging off his white wife beater.
i cover my flushed face with my hands, chris pulls my hands away from me.
“let me see that pretty face.” he praises, making my heart thump.
his hand snakes to the waistband of my sweatpants, he pulls them down my body, i lift my hips off the mattress for easier access.
he drags out each touch, his fingers just grazing over my bare skin as he runs his spare hand through his locks.
i lay bare on the matress below chris, the only thing covering me being my thin panties and bra.
“can i take these off?” he asks, tracing an outline along the outside of my panties.
“yes- do anything you want-“ i almost beg,
he tugs down my underwear, shoving them in his pocket nonchalantly,
“christopher!” i laugh, he shrugs cluelessly with a guilty smile.
“i better get those back.” i state,
“we’ll see.” he says under his breath,
he stares very obviously at my soaked core, i look at his crotch, which has a very obvious tent in it.
“so pretty.” he coos, finally reaching down and dragging his middle finger across my slit.
“oh chris.” i moan lightly with his feathering touch.
“so sensitive aren’t we?” he says with a smug smile,
i nod desperately,
chris removes his hand from me to tug down his black jorts, letting them pool at his ankles.
he tugs down his boxers,
my mouth falls open gently, my eyes fixed on his length.
he’s big, bigger than what i’ve ever seen in movies and shit.
my heart rate picks up, i sit up on my elbows.
“chris- chris that’s gonna hurt- that’s not gonna work-“ i panic, words frantically spilling out of my mouth.
he sits down on the matress beside me, clasping a hand over my mouth.
“you’re boosting my ego.” he laughs, taking his hand away from my mouth.
“no chris- actually that’s not gonna happen!”
he looks at me, a small laugh exiting his moth before he speaks.
“it doesn’t have to hurt, it might be a little bit uncomfortable because it’s your first time, but i promise that i’ll go super duper slow.”
god, the man who’s about to take my virginity just said ‘super duper’
“and if you want me to stop at any time we will stop, and take a break, then see if you’re still feeling up for it. if not then there’s always another day!” he smiles warmly, rubbing my inner thigh.
“yeah?” he follows up,
“yeah.” i nod eagerly.
he stands up, before tugging me to the edge of the bed, my legs dangling off the side of the matress.
he stands between my legs, rubbing my thigh continuously.
“you’re so gorgeous.” he sighs,
his erection rests against my thigh, making this all feel so real.
he reaches between my thighs and dips a finger inside of me quite suddenly.
i gasp, his finger is a lot longer than mine.
he curls it against a spot which is driving me crazy.
“just gotta stretch you out real quick.” he says to me,
it feels so wrong, so dirty. having my bestfriend of 6 years about to be inside of me, his words making me crumble. god- if he knew how long i have been wanting this he would kill me.
he slowly teases his second finger at my entrance before pushing inside of me slowly,
“chris-“ i moan lightly,
he bends over, hovering above me so our faces are face to face, so intimate.
my hand reaches up and grips his arm, squeezing it.
he scissors his fingers apart inside of me, stretching me around his hand.
“you- are so tight.” he breathes with a small laugh,
“can’t wait to feel you around my cock, already feel so good around my fingers don’t you?” he teases, i arch my back off the bed.
he slowly pulls his fingers out of me, “chris i wasn’t finished-“ i whine,
“shh- don’t want you to cum yet.” he smiles, wiping his fingers on my thigh.
he steps out from between my thighs, walking over to his bedside table.
“where are you going?” i pant,
he holds up a condom,
“no- i don’t want that.” i protest,
“we need it sweetheart, as much as i love you i am not getting you pregnant.” he laughs,
“i’m on birth control.” i state,
he looks at me, “oh- shit okay!” he bites back a smile.
he goes back between my legs,
“just gonna give you a little bit at a time, you tell me if it’s too much or too fast.”
i nod, he lines himself up with me.
i reach out and grip his his hand, holding it tight while his tip presses against my entrance.
i squeeze my eyes shut,
“look at me, take a nice deep breath for me okay?”
i suck in a sharp breath,
chris pushes inside of me,
his tip stretches my walls slowly, a pathetic whimper escapes from my throat,
jesus christ.
christopher sturniolo, my childhood bestfriend, is inside of me.
“good girl, fuuck..” he sighs, moving the stray bits of hair infront of my face away from me.
“you can take a little more, can’t you?” he breathes,
i nod, he pushes slightly deeper inside of me.
“oh chris- fuck!” i moan softly, squeezing his hand.
“taking me so well, so so good.” he praises, making me clench around him.
a low groan falls from his mouth as he pushes further, and deeper inside of me.
tears prickle in my eyes from the burning stretch, which chris seems to pick up on.
“hey- don’t get upset, you’re doing so good, you’re not a virgin anymore!” chris smiles
he pushes the rest of the way inside of me, “look at that..” he sighs, at the closed gap between our hips.
“you okay?” he says, wiping my watering eyes with a sympathetic grin.
“i’m- full.” i whisper with a small smile,
“i know you are, aren’t you?” chris grins, just resting inside of me, allowing me to get used to his length.
“can i move?” he asks, “yes- please chris.” i reply
he slowly rocks his hips back and forth, he hovers above my face, breathing heavily into my neck.
small groans and grunts fall from his mouth, straight into my ear.
after several thrusts the pain fades into pleasured
suddenly i feel chris’s lips connect with my neck, sucking on the plush of the skin.
he gradually starts to quicken his pace, “chris! fuck- fuck chris oh my god!” i arch my back off the matress
he reaches down where our bodies meet and brushes my sensitive clit,
“you feel so good, taking me so well.” chris mutters into my neck,
“you look so pretty with me so deep inside of you.” he whispers,
i grip his back, my nails running up and down his bare skin.
the intense pressure in my stomach builds with each thrust,
i look down, a clear stomach bulge is imprinted in my stomach.
that’s enough to tip me over the edge, i clench around him, finally releasing,
“good girl- so good, let it all go.” he says in between jolted breaths.
he thrusts a few more times before finishing inside of me, my eyes widen as i feel the warm sensation.
he stays buried inside of me as he flops down on my chest
his floppy hair rests on my face, as he buries his face in my neck.
i stroke his hair as i come down from my high, too stunned to speak.
“you’re so pretty.” he mumbles,
i let out a small flustered laugh,
“are you okay? not hurt or anything?” he mutters quietly into my shoulder
“i’m- good.” i giggle,
chris slowly lifts himself off of me before pulling out with a slick pop.
i groan from the emptiness, “mooreee.” i whine,
“you are definitely too sensitive for that.” he smiles, rubbing my thigh before walking over to his closet
he pulls out a sweater and some sweatpants before walking over to me.
he redresses me slowly, his eyes still roaming over every inch of my body.
he tugs on his clothes aswell before jumping into bed beside me, launching me a couple inches into the air.
he rests his back against the headboard before tugging me onto his lap quickly.
he presses a kiss to my forehead, “you did so good.”
i smile, resting against him.
a silence grows between us,
chris breaks the silence with a bold statement
“look- i’m just gonna say this, but i think i’m gonna have to be inside of you again at some point-“ he rambles
“i thought you insisted on it being a one time thing christopherrr” i poke his chest with a grin,
“i know- i know but please? maybe like friends with benefits type thing..” he suggests fidgeting with his hands
“i don’t want things to be different between us.” i laugh
“they won’t! i promise it will be the exact same apart from the fact.. you know.. i get to fuck you..?” he protests
“weren’t you teasing me an hour ago for ‘begging to have sex with you?’” i giggle,
“okay but that was then- this is now!” he whines
“fine chris, we can fuck sooometimes.”
—————-
this taglist is actually getting insane
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last part of virgin!Choso<3 (im gonna write more for him tho, just in other scenarios!!) other parts here: part 1 part 2 part 4
.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.
Virgin Choso who stands on his small balcony, looking over the city, a grey cloud creeping out between his lips.
Choso had taken up smoking. He’d asked Leiri about it when he’d seen her doing it, and she’d told him it helped her to relax. he’d bought a pack right after that. The first couple of times he’d coughed the smoke out. But now he does it smoothly, inhaling and exhaling the smoke with no problem. It makes him feel at ease even just for a moment, and lord knows he needs it right now. Humans are fucking weird he thinks, they’d jepordize their health for a little break from their troubles. Guess that doesnt sound so ridiculous now that he thinks about it. Either way hes a human now too, or a half one atleast.
he squeezes the cigarette into an ashtray and looks at the time when he hears the door bell ringing. Its late and you’re here.
he hears you running up the stairs, and when you get to the top you run to him, giving him a soft hug. His heart keens.
“hi Choso!” you smile and let go of him, he immediately misses the feel of you, “hey,” he mumbles.
“why do you smell like cigerattes?” you huff and your nose crickles. cute.
he raises his shoulders.
“i cant believe it…who taught u to do that huh?” you make a disappointed face and fold your arms, tapping your foot on the floor. And he knows youre just joking, you and Yuji have been using enough sarcasm around him for him to have a pretty good understanding of it.
“Leiri,” he shrugs.
“of course…that hag,” you grin. And you look so fucking adorable, in your little outfit, and the way you look when you smile makes him weak. He has your bag ready on the couch, he had washed your panties before putting everything back into it. But he can’t think about that now, or he’ll turn bright red.
he sighs “i made dinner,” he says, “if you’re hungry,” you stop infront of him and you almost look like youre gonna cry from happiness. “im starving,” you say quickly, “what did you make?”
He’d made rice bowls for you. your favourite. And you eat like a girl who’d gotten her first meal in months. Happily humming while eating your food.
Rather than focusing on eating his own bowl, he thinks about eating every meal of the day with you, sitting across from him.
when you’re done you put your plate in the sink and you yawn, you look adorable when you yawn, you look adorable when you do anything.
you turn around, “Choso?”
his heart skips a beat. he nods.
“it’s really late and um…dark outside and i don’t really want to walk home alone,” you look away, are you….blushing?
“is it okay if i stay here for the night?”
And hes heard the stories. About what happens to pretty girls when they’re alone at night and they don’t see the stranger walking behind them. And his fist clenches at the thought of someone being mean to you. He’s stronger than any human. he’d crush their fucking skull.
“you can stay,” he says quickly, a little too eagerly he realises. And you smile, “give me your plate,” you say, looking greatful that he let you stay, unknowing of the fact that he’d do just about anything if it meant your safety, or your happiness.
You start washing the dishes in his tiny kitchen, and when Choso tries insisting that he wants to help, you splash a bit of water on him. And you laugh so sweetly, when he jumps a little, trying not to get hit.
When youre done washing up, You both stand in silence for a while. For some reason its not as akward as it sounds.
“i will sleep on the couch,” he says,
“no Choso…id feel bad, you sleep in your bed,” you mumble.
You both argue like that for a while, and youre not letting up. stubborn little human.
you both get quiet for a moment.
“how big is your bed?”
“Queen size,”
“so why dont we just…sleep in it together?”
youre blushing slightly again. it must be his imagination.
And then he thinks about it. Friends sleep in the same bed sometimes right? you dont mean anything by it, he thinks, its just you being polite.
“i guess…we could do that yes,” he agrees.
you smile and nod, “okay,”
Choso excuses himself to go to the bathroom then, telling you to go ahead and get ready for bed.
He looks at himself in the mirror. He takes out his buns, his hair falling down to his shoulders. His eyes are dark and sunken. He looks dead he thinks. He looks down, “behave,” he says quietly, mostly to his heart, but also his dick.
he buries his head in his hands And He realizes he cant, he realizes the second he’s gonna look at you in his bed, he won’t be able to stop himself. to stop himself from confessing everything he feels, everything he’s done. that he thinks about you all the time, that you drive him insane, that he stole your pretty panties and came in his hand from the smell of your wet cunt.
When he rounds the corner of his bedroom, you’re sitting patiently on the edge of his bed, waiting for him.
“i am going to sleep on the couch, i don’t think this is a good idea,” he says it quickly, before he changes his mind, before its too late to go back.
you open your mouth to speak, hesitating a little.
“is it because of what yuji told me?”
his brain goes quiet. “what?”
“that you…that you like me?”
fuck. its over. he sighs angrily. that little fucki-
you stand and walk to him.
and when you put your hand on his chest, for a moment he forgets why hes mad, he forgets who he is and what year hes in. all he sees is you. And how close you are all of a sudden. and how youre leaning in, standing on your tippy toes, pressing your soft lips to his, in a short gentle kiss. His world stops for a moment.
And when he regains his senses, his instincts take over and he kisses you back ferociously, it’s sloppy and uncoordinated, but neither of you seem to care.
You walk backwards onto his bed, and you push him down so he’s sitting on the edge. He looks at you like a puppy dog, and his cheeks are flushed red.
When you sit down in his lap his dick twitches in his pants.
“i- i didnt think you…,” he stutters. he doesn’t really believe what’s happening.
“well i do,” you say, while cupping his face in your hands. “a lot,”
“can i…” he needs it he needs it he needs it, “can i eat your pussy?” he mumbles it quietly.
your eyes widen. fuck, he shouldn’t have said that, it was way too fast, you were just kissing.
“oh…uh okay,”
fuck. yes.
he lifts you up from his lap, and you skriek a little from surprise. He puts you down in a chair in the corner of his bedroom.
he gets on his knees infront of you and speaks quietly,
“i…im sorry i,” he sniffles a little, he’s so overwhelmed. And you’re letting him taste you.
you lean down and give him a kiss, biting your lip slightly.
“its okay…we can talk later, if you need it i’ll give it to you okay?”
And fuck he almost cries, and he buries his face in your lap. You shush him a little, caressing his hair. Hes hugging your legs.
He lifts his head, and you start unbuttoning your pants. Slowly sliding them down your hips as they fall to the floor. You spread your legs and he whimpers. Your panties are pink this time, and theres a big wet spot on them. And he doesn’t spare a second, he dives his head into your cunt, rubbing his face in it and licking at the wet spot desperately. you moan his name softly, and he cant help but grind his hard cock against the leg of the chair. Hes pathetic but he doesnt care, he wants you to feel good, he wants to make you cum on his face. He groans into your weeping pussy as he thinks about you cumming for him.
He pulls away a little, silently begging you to remove your panties. He wants to see your pussy so bad. His pussy.
You slide down your panties to reveal your soaked cunt. Choso almost growls. He looks up at you, asking for permission to keep going. you nod, your eyes half lidded. Spoiled little princess, he thinks, and thats exactly how hes going to treat you from now on.
he leans in again, kissing your pussy and it makes a wet sound. He licks his lips and groans deeply at your taste. He starts lapping at your cunt like a dehydrated puppy. He’s making out with your pussy now, swiping his tongue all over. You can tell he’s inexperienced, but it doesn’t matter, he’s doing such a good job.
you feel so good, his tongue is too much, its all too much. You love him so much. And you cum unexpectedly, crying out his name, begging him to keep going and he whines. You thrash around and Choso keeps you steady, his strong hands grasping your hips.
After youre done he keeps licking up your cum, making sure youre cleaned.
“Choso…stop, too much,” you say softly.
He pulls away.
His face is covered in your juices, dripping all the way down his neck. And he looks so happy. He stands up, like its on instinct. He needs to hold you.
He grabs you into his arms and plop down onto the bed, with you on his chest. He squeezes you into him, kissing your hair while you slide your panties on again.
“mine,” he says softly. youre his now.
You look up at him, searching his eyes, “Choso i wanna um…you know,” you gesture to his crotch. you want to make him feel good too.
but he looks away shyly. its embarrassing and pathetic, “i um..,” he sits up with you in his lap.
He doesnt feel hard under you anymore. And then it clicks.
“oh my god did you…”
he blushes furiously and nods, “its embarrassing,” he had cum in his pants the second he put his face in your bare pussy.
“no! no…it’s really…hot,” you reason and he looks less embarrassed. He looks into your eyes then, looks at your pretty little face and he already knows he wants you to be his forever.
“do you want to be my girlfriend?” he asks nervously.
you giggle and nod eagerly, jumping on him, wrapping your arms around him and nuzzling into his neck.
hes the luckiest man in the world he thinks. And you both fall asleep, you laying on his chest.
.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.
guys they didn’t actually fuck and i’m SORRY
now….part 4?? hey!!! HEY OKAY IM SORRY!! comment if yall want more ill do a lil short one where buddy ACTUALLY looses his virginity.
taglist:
@iqzo @multy-fandom-lover
#choso x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#choso#choso fluff#choso kamo#choso kamo smut#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo x you#choso smut#kamo choso#kamo choso x reader
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