#i dont like the way my fear and anxiety makes my heart feel

[cheerfullycatholic]

Who's gonna get whacked by the snowstorm? It's supposed to get me the next two days and I'm kinda excited tbh 👀

ARE Y'ALL PREPARED?!

[ashlynlovestlou]

abby x anxious! virgin! reader

synopsis: abby teaches her an anxiety-ridden virgin girlfriend how to have sex.

cw: NSFW , abby x reader , smut , abby talks you through it , thigh riding , sub! reader , soft dom! abby , afab! reader , dry humping , use of pet names

masterlist

abby's been your girlfriend for a few months now, but you've been putting off having sex with her. solely because of your stupid nerves.

the thought of being naked in front of someone, then hearing your noises and seeing your face and touching your most intimate spots that nobody has reached before. it made you panic just thinking about it.

but abby knew of your fears. she was patient, and she cared about you more than anything on god's green earth.

so when your twice-weekly date came around on a friday night, something felt off. you'd been horny before, and usually you knew how to take care of it, but not quite like this. your legs were tingling and there was an ache where aches shouldn't be.

of course abby, being the observant girlfriend she is, noticed your squirming halfway through the movie the two of you were watching.

"what's wrong, baby?" she asks, looking down at you with a furrowed brow.

"huh? nothing." you respond quickly, crossing your legs and leaning against her shoulder.

abby knew better than to believe you, "you okay? you seem squirmy."

"i'm okay." you respond, a little too quickly. her suspicions only rose because of your soft and nervous tone, "just feel a little weird."

"weird how? you got a stomach ache?"

"no."

"then what–" she stops what she's saying, a shit-eating grin growing on her face, "oh."

you don't respond, biting your bottom lip and unsure what to do. you could sneak away to the bathroom to try to get off on your own. but you know abby has been waiting so patiently for this moment.

"youre horny, yeah?"

your heart sinks in your chest. it took you a moment to realize how she figured it out so quickly. she saw your squirms and the way your thighs flexed every once in a while, trying to create some friction for yourself.

she spreads her thighs apart a bit, creating a perfect manspread. she taps her lap, "come sit. let me take care of it for you."

"abby, i dunno.."

"baby." she says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "i promise i can make you feel so much better than your pillow can. c'mon, sweet pea."

you hesitate, nibbling on your bottom lip. your heart was in your throat, and you were fidgeting with your earlobe. one of your anxious habits.

she tugs your hand away from your ear, kissing your knuckles. she gently tugs you forward into her, "i won't hurt you, sweet girl. c'mon, honey." she guides you by the hips to straddle her lap. she rubs her thumbs up and down the soft plush of your thighs, "let me show you, okay?"

you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. she takes her shirt off first so that you don't feel embarrassed to do the same. once she's down to her black sports bra she slowly takes yours off too, giving you time to stop her if you wanted.

but you don't, so she keeps going.

once the two of you are both in your underwear, her warm and bulky hands settle on your hips, "you okay?"

you nod, unsure where to put your hands. she notices this and laughs softly, "i'll walk you through it, okay?"

"okay..."

"tell me what you do to your little pillow when you feel like this, baby."

"i.. um.." you struggle to get the words out, your cheeks red from embarrassment, "i put it between my legs."

"hmm.." she hums, "then what?"

"i like.. clamp it there."

she plays with your hair, her entire hand embracing the side of your head, "and it makes you feel good? riding your little pillow?" you nod sheepishly, resting your head on her shoulder, "show me."

"what?"

"i want you to make yourself feel good. i know you wanna." she says, kissing your hairline.

"abby, i dont know how–"

she gives your hips a little squeeze, starting to guide you to grind on her lap. the cloth of her boxers rubs against the sheer fabric of your lacy panties, the feeling alone making you gush. you whimper as you feel yourself getting wetter. you're tempted to get off her lap so she doesn't feel the dampness coming from your cunt. she notices you starting to hover, so she pulls you back down. "don't be embarrassed. i want to see you feel good." she guides your hips to move a bit faster, and you moan in response, "can i touch you?"

you look at her, confused because she's already touching you.

she glances down at your crotch rubbing against her lap, then she looks back up at you, "down there, sweet girl. please, honey. wanna feel how wet you are."

you nod, your nerves starting to dissipate.

she snakes a hand down your stomach, her fingertips sliding into your panties. when the pads of her fingers meet your folds she groans, "oh, baby... you ever been this wet before?"

you shake your head, rubbing yourself against her digits.

"there you go, grind down just like that, mhm."

her words of encouragement make you speed up a little bit. she beams at you, so proud that her girl is finally comfortable enough to let her feel you in such an intimate place.

"gonna go inside, okay?" she says before slipping two of her fingers inside your sopping cunt. you moan at the intrusion, your movements switching from back and forth to up and down.

abby chuckles, kissing your cheek. she's so happy that she can finally see her baby in this light. on her lap, a moaning mess, "you're so pretty, mama."

you smile and open your eyes to look at abby. she pecks your forehead, rubbing tight circles around your swollen bud. you clean around her and she pulls you closer so your chest is flush against hers. she knew you were close before you did, guiding your hips to bounce on her fingers faster.

when you finally come undone you mutter tens of 'thank you's' into her ear. you'd made yourself feel good many times, but you'd never felt quite like this.

"thank you, abby." you whisper to her.

she nods in response, "no need to thank me. next time you feel like that, you come to me, m'kay?"

you hum in agreement, closing your eyes and starting to drift to sleep.

[ellies1luvr]

dealer!ellie x reader

(head cannons)

based on the song daddy issues by the neighborhood

A/n: Im writing this on my notes app, have never written before but i fear if i don’t write this it will never be written😅 currently going though a situation ship and im very touched starved so that is wear this is coming from‼️

Idc if minors read

please give me feedback even if its not the nicest it is really appreciated!!

TW: erm lesbians, reader having daddy issues, casual by chappell roan mentioned, crying, panic attacks, anxiety, reader sits on ellies lap, weed, lmk if i missed anything!! no use of y/n‼️

Dealer Ellie who met you at a party having panic attack

Dealer Ellie who brought you back to a random couch at the frat party and gave you free weed to calm you down while having a meaningful conversations

Dealer ellie who drove you home and got your phone number

Now anytime you have a panic attack or anything close to one, you call ellie and she comes over with free weed/ holds your hand and comforts you the whole time

“hey pretty girl” “there you go pretty”

when you smoke to much shes there to ground you

“its okay baby i got you, your safe with me”

Soon after you both catch feelings, not telling each other because you don’t want to ruin whats going on.

You call ellie one afternoon asking if she can come over, shes really busy but you dont need to know that and comes over.

you both end up confessing your feelings and make out on the couch, soon you both fall asleep in each others arms

by the end of that night you and ellie are bound by the hip (i think thats how the saying goes?? idk) ellie always with you in someway or some form.

Ellie soon finds out about your attachment issues and fear shes gonna leave you in some way, (hints daddy issues😅) but that fear is soon subsided by ellie and her always with and doting on you

at the beginning of you and ellies relationship, you tried not to get too comfortable but as soon as you do, you are clinging to ellie all the time.

(deals, in classes, restaurants, idk but always touching ellie and ellie always with or touching you in some way)

Getting with ellie didnt stop all your panic attacks or anxiety, when bad panic attacks would happen you would sit on ellies lap with a tv show playing in the background, ellie lighting a blunt, lightly placing it between your lips watching you inhale and exhale

Dealer ellie making that collage dealer bank, would take you shopping all the time.

no matter what your style, hyperfem, on the masculine side, or neither she would spoil the hell out of you.

You and ellie dont have sex untill about a month into the relationship, deciding to take it slow

You and ellie rarely ever got in fights, (you being sensitive also hints daddy issues😅) would cry when ellie raised her voice at you, not trying to be manipulative in the way that anytime you two get in disagreements you cry, but when she would yell, yes.

“ellie that girl was flirting with you i saw it”

“babe no she wasnt”

“ellie please just stop dealing to her”

“babe its my fucking job to deal what do you expect for a dealer in a collage campus not to get hit on?!”

when she heard sniffles her heart immediately dropped realizing that she yelled.

safe to say that girl never got another ounce of weed from ellie again.

i feel like all of ellies past relationships were just “casual” but with you it was very different!

Red wine supernova by chappell roan is definitely her favorite song on rise and fall of a midwest princess (but she relates to casual 😅 the most)

The first time she took you to meet joel you cried bc your dad cut you off once he found out you were gay , and especially not a dad like joel

one time when you amd ellie once woke up early enough to make breakfast before classes, you started a playlist on you phone

Naked in manhattan by chappell roan started playing, you started dancing and ellie soon followed hugging you from behind kissing your neck

Suggestive

at party’s when ellies dealing, you would always be perched on her lap, facing ellie, counting her freckles

Ellie being ellie is horny when shes high, you being you are emotional when high but that doesnt stop yall from having heated moments when both of yall are high.

i feel like ellie would have Lunch by billie eilish playing when shes high and that always leads to a long (fun) night

thanks for reading dykes‼️

[apenitentialprayer]

i know that as a catholic you just have to believe with what the church says but i really dont like the belief of the original sin, i feel like its such a horrible thing to believe about yourself and about other human beings too

There are actually ways of legitimately dissenting from less essential Church teachings in a way that leaves you in good standing with the Church; I'm not sure if Original Sin is one of those things, though, to be honest.

But, anon, I'm going to offer another perspective here, starting from a quote (perhaps ironically?) from my favorite heretic. One of the things that James Carroll believes is that Original Sin has been given a bad wrap. In Constantine's Sword, he says:

I referred to Augustine’s assertion of the idea that the human condition implies a perennial state of finitude, weakness, and sin, all of which will be overcome, even for the Church, only with the end of time. [...] Augustine is thus regarded as the father of a severe, flesh-hating, sin-obsessed theology, but that dark characterization misses the point of his insight. His honest admission of the universality of human woundedness is a precondition for both self-acceptance and the forgiveness of the other, which for Augustine always involved the operation of God’s grace, God’s gift. Only humans capable of confronting the moral tragedy of existence, matched to God’s offer of repairing grace, are capable of community, and community is the antidote to human woundedness. Augustine sensed that relationship as being at the heart of God, and he saw it as being at the heart of human hope, too. This is a profoundly humane vision.

I wish I had understood the spirit of this quote when I was in high school. I remember learning in my World History class that Islam teaches that all children are born good, and then the world makes them evil. And I remember my teacher asking how that compares with Christianity, and I raised my hand and said that Christianity teaches that all of us are born evil. Because I believed that at the time. And, really, the whole framing of that question was wrong and gave really simplistic representations of what Islam and Christianity teaches, but I don't think we're alone in having internalized that understanding, anon. And that's a shame.

I thin it's important to remember the worldview that the doctrine of Original Sin is actively defending us against; there was an idea, that gets called "Pelagianism" (the poor guy it got named after may not even have believed it), that said that humans were capable of being saved on their own, by their own power. Someone on this site recently asked what people's thoughts on Pelagianism were, so you can read my thoughts here. But to keep it short and sweet, I think Original Sin is an important doctrine because it saves you from the need to be perfect.

There are ways to treat Original Sin that I think are certainly unhealthy, and I think the doctrine can be a source of anxiety and fear. But I also think, very deeply, that Original Sin should be a reason why we treat ourselves and especially our neighbor with kindness and understanding. I can look at myself and say "What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate. […] For I do not do the good that I want, but I do the evil I do not want" (Romans 7:15, 19). And I can say that because I know I am ontologically wounded; that all of us have our weaknesses. That while we may still be in the moral wrong for committing a morally wrong action, our wills are compromised in a way that causes us to incline towards the comfortable and the easy rather than the good.

I wish I could go back in time and tell that class that Christianity does not teach that people are born evil. I wish I could go back and tell them that it teaches that we are born in a state of dis-integration, that we are wounded beings yearning for wholeness; alienated beings seeking everlasting belonging; beings lost in darkness, seeking the light. But I can say it now: the doctrine of Original Sin doesn't have to be an occasion to think you're depraved and without value, but it can be an invitation to come to terms with your own woundedness, because doing that (to use the words of Lutheran theologian Nancy Eiesland) "opens a space for the inflowing of grace and acceptance."

[yandereaffections]

My Hero Academia Masterlist

Izuku Midoriya (Deku)

Coming home covered in blood begging for love

Headcannons

“if you dont love me ill kill myself”

Deku vs Bakugo

Naga Izuku

S/o who is clingy during their period

Punishments

Kidnapped S/o giving up

Jealous S/o leaving hickeys all over him

College Roomate

Siren Izuku w/ Lost at sea S/o

S/o w/ Psychedelic quirk

Poly Uraraka/Deku w/ a S/o who loves to Knit

S/o w/ a Angelic quirk

Not letting anyone else touch his S/o

Poly Nage Deku/Bakugo w/ Harpy S/o

Naga Izuku w/ Crush whos terrified of snakes

S/o who is tired all the time

The Purge + Blind S/o

Poly Uraraka/Deku HC

Nurse S/o

Tough S/o using her quirk to play with kids

S/o who loves his fluffy hair

Bakugo + Izuku with a S/o whos Quirk ends up hurting them

Dating Aizawas daughter

“hows the weather up there?”

Siren

Villain Deku trying to supply his vampire s/o with his blood

Darlings whos accidently morbid and creepy

Finding Crush s/o crying cause they were rejected by someone else

Gifting him an actual heart in a jar for Valentines

Yandere Alphabet: B,D,H,M,O

Villain Deku Headcannons

Comforting S/o who is upset over a character design change

Goth Darling who melts at affection

Comforting S/o who feels objectified

Poly Deku & Uraraka Headcannons

S/o who cant kiss directly in fear of eye contact

Darling attracting butterflies to them with their blood

Kidnapped S/o breaking down in relief that they dont have to worry about school anymore

Kidnapped Darling demanding cuddles when coming home

S/o that demands affection

Darling who loves that love lolita fashion but broke

Poly Kirideku

S/o wearing a lolita dress inspired by his hero outfit

Izuku Midoriya vs Peter Parker

S/o likes to be carried by him

S/o escapes only to come back with fast food

S/o saying "Yo! Guess what I found!!" with a arrow in their shoulder

S/o who jokes they're basically a acrow with anxiety cause they love shiny

"Why would you want me? You could have anyone you wanted"

Bakugo Katsuki

Deku vs Bakugo

Shut in S/o

S/o who has low self esteem due to family

S/o whose friends are affectionate

S/o Practicing their Love Confession with Deku

Accidentally hurting S/os feelings

Unknowingly kidnapping Vampire S/o

Liking Naga Bakugos punishments

Poly Nage Deku/Bakugo w/ Harpy S/o

Werewolf Bakugo protecting his mate

S/o whose parents dont let them have more than the minimum

S/o does illegal quirk cage battles

S/o Revealing her Healing quirk

Tall darling with low self esteem

Parents not supporting S/o after Winning tournament

Quiet crush Kabedoning him

S/o who can beat his ass

Bakugo + Izuku with a S/o whos Quirk ends up hurting them

S/o has a ‘villainous’ quirk

Kidnapped darling ignoring him

Naga Bakugo/Hunted down

Darling confessing to him first

Only being soft for his S/o

Villain Darling

S/o who’s the polar opposite of him

Finding his missing  kidnapped S/o in his bed

Kidnapped darling loving him back

S/o who spars cause they want to be pinned

Accidently hurting a low self esteem reader

Bat quirked reader

Aizawa Shouta

Depressed S/o

Villain S/o

NS FW HC

The Purge

Vampire

Drider

Vampire S/o

Demon

Demon Aizawa w/ angel s/o

Life Threatening situation

S/o being forced to be a Villain cause their family is that way

Werewolf Aizawa

S/o who relaxes when he plays with their hair

Thicc S/o

S/o who loves cats just as much as him

Making him jealous from giving all your attention to cats

Cuddling HC

Hawks kidnapping Aizawas S/O prt 2 (prt one on Hawks section)

Shinso dating Aizawas child

Cat like S/o

Stalking celerity S/o

S/o with daddy issues

S/o w/ a Bear quirk

Taking care of his new child

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,E,L,W

Student reader turns out to be the UA Traitor

Finding his S/o tangled in his scarf

Headcannons

S/os personality changes around animals

Stalker Headcannons

Finding out crush sleeps with a eraser head plushie

Tall S/o that pulls him into their chest in every hug

Aizawa falling for a MILF S/o

S/o who was rejected at first before Aizawa fell for them

S/o avoiding him cause they think theyre annoying

Todoroki Shoto

Jealous Todoroki

Yandere Crush

Kidnapping Tourist S/o

“You’ve already made me a victim, no need to make me a liar too”

Naga Todoroki

Yakuza Leader S/o attempting to send a hit on his father

S/o who wants to be a Manga artist more than a hero

Sick Darling

S/o whos clingy during their period

Yandere Alphabet: C,E,K,W

Falling for S/o HC

Villain Shoto w/ civilian crush

Villain Shoto w/ Villain crush

Engulfing him in a hug after a battle happy hes ok

S/o doesnt speak the same language

Tsuyu Asui

S/o’s a fan of hers

Hitoshi Shinso

Siren Hitoshi using his voice to make S/o take their swimsuit off

Naga Hitoshi

Shinso dating Aizawas child

How he would treat you

Dabi Todoroki

Headcannons

S/o who’s unfazed by Dabis appearance

Innocent Baby sitter crush

Witch S/o

S/o with healing tears family constantly makes them cry

Freedom HC

Stealing his drugged crush after a dental surgery

socially awkward and anxious s/o

another social anxiety s/o HC

Celebrating S/os Birthday

Commenting he should visit his mother more

Gentle darling S/o

S/os in a loveless quirk marriage

Loner S/o

Fluff HCs

S/o who has a cruel family

S/o whos so scared of dadi they cry anytime he gets near

Kidnapping his S/o

Shigaraki Tomura

HC

Buff s/o who’s actually a softie

someone hurting his darling right infront of him

Younger sister reader

S/o also has skin problems

Affectionate and loving darling

S/o who only allows him to touch them

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,H,I

S/o w/ a quirk similar to his own

Sick darling

Proposing to him

Finding out S/o is his favorite streamer

Peaceful S/o who hates violence

S/o who looking at him with motherly loving eyes

Breaking down and coming to him for comfort

Gentle darling

S/o saying he takes away their emotional pain

naive and trusting darling

“Do I need to remind you what happened last time you acted out? Because I will if you keep pushing me.”

Someone trying to save kidnapped S/o

Kirishima Eijirou

Headcannons

Fluff HC

S/o who acts tough but is actually really soft

Finding his S/o fighting Bakugou

Poly Kirideku

Getting jealous over how you treat your friend

Momo Yaoyorozu

Headcannons

S/o Spoiling her

S/o wants more stuffed animals but already has a bed full of them

Poly Uraraka/Deku

Poly Uraraka/Deku w/ a S/o who loves to Knit

Poly Uraraka/Deku HC

More Poly Deku & Uraraka Headcannons

Tamaki Amajiki

S/o isnt bothered with being kidnapped

S/o whos on their period

Tamaki + Mirio Poly HC

Vampire

S/o also has Anxiety

Kidnapped s/o insisting on a movie night

S/o is something like the mom of 1A

Seeing his darling is stabbed yet calm about it

Coming home to S/o and their collapsed pillow fort

S/o who loves to cook

Gifting him butterfly hairclips

Hearing S/o saying "Do you have Five wilting Cabbage Leaves instead of a Brain?" to another that tried asking them out

Kidnapped S/o who just stands there after breaking out of captivity

Mirio

Tamaki + Mirio Poly HC

Accidentally bumping into Blind darling

S/o who likes cats but hes a dog person

S/o who has a god level quirk but is a dumbass

How his yandere tendencies are affected by losing his quirk

Darling flirting with other people

Bear quirk S/o

S/o missing school cause they got hurt while fighting a villain

S/o whos soft with Eri

Pregnant S/o who doesnt want to keep them

Rival s/o whos mad at him for taking their spot in the Big Three

Wooing a introvert darling

Villain Mirio

S/os boyfriend left her pregnant

Hawks

Equally clingy S/o

S/o with wings

Cottagecore S/o

S/o with a symbiote quirk

Cat Quirk reader

S/o having a depressive episode

Quirkless S/o whos afraid of heights

S/o who loves the petname ‘kitten’

Hawks Bird habits HC

Soft S/o getting pissed and yelling in Spanish

Bathing with him

Finding out his S/o is pregnant

Kidnapped S/o whos chill as long as they have games

S/o whos dependent and clingy feels like he they dont deserve him

Demon

Vampire

Celebrating Halloween

S/o dressing up as him for Halloween

Purge

Villain Hawks

Comforting S/o whose friend started ignoring them suddenly

Falling for a different heros S/o

Hawks kidnapping Aizawas S/o (prt 2 on Aizawas section)

Almost forcing his Vegan S/o to eat meat

Wings HC

Raising a child

Vegan darling HC

Dealing with s/os teacher who doesnt treat them right

Raising a teenage child

Darling who has separation anxiety

Soft S/o whos tall and buff

Feral Headcannons

Shy, Awkward reader

Bat quirk S/o

Miruko & Hawks x reader Headcannons

Preening S/os wings

S/o who has self harm scars on their legs TW

S/os scared of birds

Hero s/o hates the hero commissions

S/o has a affectionate pet bird thats a little shit to keigo

Foreigner that hardly speaks japanese

Shy S/o thats scared of his wings

S/os cat loves hunting/playing with his wings

Yandere alphabet K,P,T

Yandere alphabet A,D,E,L 

Hunted down

Overhaul

S/o who has a body pillow of him

Trying to get him on a normal date

Angel

S/o whose power ultimately harms them

Darling ends up pregnant because of him

raising a child

S/o is as much of a clean freak as he is

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,I,K,W

Calling him a crow because of his looks

Escaping with Eri

S/o is a escape artist

Naga Overhaul

Kaminari

S/o scared theyll get zapped if they touch him

S/o who loves affection but is shy about PDA

Using him as a shield against socializing with others

Finding out S/o is Kirishimas sibling

S/o who isnt given gifts often

Werewolf

HC

Yandere Alphabet: A,B,J,W

S/o who loves him just as much

Would denki hurt anyone or punish his S/o

Sero

Darling confessing their love to him

Yandere Alphabet: A,K,S,R,T

Tokoyami

Finding out S/o goes out to feed cats with Aizawa and Shinsou

S/o going out of their way to spend time with them

Cuddling HC

Crush is Bakugos sister

Iida

Finding out S/o wonders out at night

Jealous HC

Koda

S/o who also has a animal quirk

Miruko

Chubby S/o

Miruko & Hawks x reader Headcannons

Nejire

Headcannons

Jirou

Headcannons

Mina Ashido

Headcannons

Inko Midoriya

Headcannons

Introducing deku to their new sibling w/ s/o

Average day with her

Haunted house

Rei Todoroki

Headcannons

Soft and quiet darling

Introducing her new child w/ s/o

Calm S/o yelling for the first time

Aoyama

Protective S/o

S/o likes his french

Deku

NS FW alphabet

Submissive 

Naga Izuku 

Praise Kink & Sugar Mommy S/o

Aizawa

NS FW HC

Werewolf Aizawa + Breeding 

Feral 

Incubus 

Neko s/o going into heat Ropework 

Favorite Position & Breeding kink 

Poly Erasermic

Poly Incubus EraserMic w/ S/o 

Todoroki

NS FW alphabet

Orgasm control, BDSM

Dabi

NON-CON + Incubus Dabi TW

End of the world + Breeding 

Poly Dabi/hawks

Poly Incubus Dabi/Hawks w/ S/o 

Shiguraki

Favorite Position 

Praise/Body Worship 

Tamaki

Sugar Daddy & One thing that would instantly turn them on

Hawks

Cockwarming and creampieing 

S/o likes it rough slightly 

Breeding/Heat HC 

Using his Feathers as a form of bondage 

Breeding season 

Extra Heat HC 

Male S/o First Time & Corruption

Overhaul

Virgin S/o 

Kaminari

Using his quirk during sex 

Inko Midoriya

Lingerie & Bodyworship 

Rei Todoroki

Foreplay Headcannons 

[moonxytcn]

Hii could you write a gluff/comfort billie x fem reader who is from europe (non english speaking/ dutch speaking but idk if you know dutch so its not that important) and they speak english but have a very obvious accent and is insecure abt it and struggles with pronounciation and like finding the right words and it gets really frustrating for reader? I know this is a very long request and if you don't like write things like this then dont feel bad or anything also i love your writing so much! <3

having an accent sucks

Billie Eilish x fem!reader

Summary – reader is insecure about her accent when speaking English.

warnings – fluffy, more cute content.

word count – 851.

a/n – hello, I hope this is what you wanted when you requested it, thank you very much for that by the way. and this comment about my writing made my heart warm, thank you anon <3

English is not my first language so there may be some errors.

This gif isn't mine, I found it on Google

–––

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a soft golden glow over the room where you were getting ready with Billie, you felt your anxiety growing with each passing second. In a few minutes, you would be heading out to meet Billie's friends, and it would be the first time you'd meet them. You couldn't help but feel nervous. You and Billie had been together for 5 months, having met her parents in the first 3 months of the relationship.

The reason for your nervousness? Simple, you were Dutch, and despite being in the United States for a while, it seemed like your accent had decided to stick with you, and it was very evident when you spoke. This had become an insecurity of yours since with the added accent, you ended up having difficulties with English pronunciation, stumbling over words and always desperately searching for the right one.

Finishing fixing your hair, all your mind could think about was whether Billie's friends would understand you, and if you would embarrass yourself with your awkward pronunciation. There were so many 'what ifs' running through your mind that you had to stop for a moment and catch your breath. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you began to unconsciously murmur words in English to practice pronunciation and avoid embarrassment, trying to imagine how it would sound to someone who had heard English all their life, fearing the judgment that could come, whether verbal or not.

Billie paused for a moment upon hearing a murmur coming from her girl beside her, glancing briefly at her through the mirror and seeing what she already imagined was happening. She always knew that you struggled a bit more than others to learn and speak English. And although she knew you didn't like how you sounded when you spoke, she always found your escaping accent absolutely adorable. She remembers it was the first thing that caught her attention when she heard you ordering coffee in line, she knows very well that's when she fell in love with you, it might as well be love at first sight, if you believe in that.

"Babe." Billie called softly, wrapping her arms around you from behind, looking at you through the mirror.

"Yes?" You answered softly, knowing you were caught and already knowing she knows what you were doing.

"You know you don't need to worry, right? They're my friends, they would never make fun of you if they know what's best for them. And even if they did, I'd be by your side and protect you. Always." She says, looking into your eyes with those beautiful ocean blue eyes.

"I know, I just— you know how diff-diff neuken!" You speak, already getting frustrated because you can't pronounce it right again. (neuken - fuck)

"Difficult?" Billie says softly, leaving a light kiss on your neck, you just nod, playing with her fingers that are on your belly. "I know. Believe me. But all I see whenever I hear you speak is how perfect your voice is and your accent just makes you more unique. Love, your accent is the cutest thing ever, I'm serious. Okay?" She says.

You nod, letting a small smile escape. "I think I'm ready to go. Just, promise me you'll stay by my side, always."

"I promise, darling. Always. You don't even need to ask me that." She says turning you and giving you a chaste and soft kiss on your soft lips.

–––

Arriving at the restaurant where Billie arranged to meet her friends, she parks the car and turns to you in the seat and grabs your hand giving it a squeeze to let you know she's here. "Ready?" She asks. You nod and take a deep breath seeing her get out and come to your side to open the door for you. Getting out you go straight into her arms and give her a tight hug, she hugs you with equal force knowing you need it.

"It will be alright, love. I love you." Billie says breaking from the hug and looking into your eyes holding your face with a softness that only she has.

"I love you, so much." You say giving a peck on her lips.

Entering the restaurant you soon find the table where her friends are. Approaching they soon see you. "Hey guys, this is my girlfriend Y/n." She introduces you.

"Hey everyone." You say already noticing your accent is very visible.

–––

Opening the door to the house together with Billie you can't wipe off the huge smile that's plastered on your face. When the door closes you jump into her arms and shower Billie with kisses while the last one becomes a slow and full of love, happiness and affection.

"I'm so happy! I didn't mess up any words today, did you see?" You say excitedly to her. While she can only look at you with adoration in her eyes, mirroring your smile and watching you ramble on about how good the night was, how much you liked her friends, and how happy you were for not messing up anything today.

"I'm proud of you, love." She says softly to you. Stopping your rambling upon hearing this, you look at her for a moment feeling tears of happiness wanting to spill. Closing the distance between you, you hope she understands everything you want to say to her at this moment.

"I love you Billie. God I love you so much, you're an angel in my life." You say softly against her lips, not wanting to separate yet you just grab her like a koala. And she understanding, takes you to the bedroom where she lies on the bed and hugs you as tightly as she can, whispering praises in your ear and saying how proud she is, and happy for you.

[whoreforbakugo]

dont say love

summary: You and Shinso are friends with benefits, with only one boundary: Don't fall in love. But you're conflicted about your feelings and so with the small amount of bravery you have, you decide to confront him content warning: friends with benefits, shinso x reader, fluff, suggestive(kissing), cliché, 3rd years wc: 1.8k

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

The clock on the wall ticked softly, blending into the quiet of your dorm room. You tossed your phone onto your bed, perching yourself on the edge of your desk chair, drawing your knees close to your chest. Your head rested lightly on your knees as you gazed blankly at your wall, deep in thought.

The one person you kept thinking about and wished you didn’t was Hitoshi Shinso. Your arrangement with him was simple—your two-year friendship had evolved into something infinitely more complicated but equally thrilling. No strings attached. That was Shinso's one condition: not to get attached in a romantic way.

You tried to shove aside the feelings that swirled in your chest, a mix of exhilaration and anxiety. Moments with Shinso felt intimate, electric, and yet, the unspoken rule lingered like a shadow over your interactions. You remembered the laughter shared, the late-night conversations that turned into dawn, and the way he could read your silence better than anyone else.

But what did it mean? You were navigating a tightrope, balancing on the thrill of fleeting moments while the ground beneath threatened to pull you into something deeper. As you stared at your wall, you wondered how long you could keep pretending that this was enough. Shinso had warned you—he had ghosted through relationships, leaving behind hearts that tried to tether themselves to him.

Your heart raced as you thought of him—his tousled hair, the glint of mischief in his violet eyes, the way he somehow made the ordinary feel extraordinary, his gentle laugh, his rough hands that held months of non-stop training, the way his shoulders shook when he laughed at you, his passionate kisses. How could you not get attached to someone who felt like like home ? But you couldn't ignore the pang of fear that accompanied such thoughts.

The clock ticked on, marking seconds that felt heavy in the air. You pulled your knees tighter, feeling the conflict simmering beneath your skin. Was it wrong to want more? Did that make you selfish, or simply human?

With a determined breath, you resolved to distract yourself. You uncurled from the chair and reached for your laptop, hoping to plunge into your studies or the latest hero articles. Yet, despite your efforts, thoughts of Shinso crept back in uninvited, reminding you of the boundaries that had been drawn, and what might lie beyond them if only you could muster the courage to cross.

Maybe you could confront him, you thought, an urge building to clarify where you stood. But what if he didn’t feel the same? What if your brave attempt to break the stalemate instead unraveled everything?

The possibilities haunted you as the quiet enveloped the room once more, that is until your phone buzzed loudly. Your head turned and your eyes widened at Shinso's contact flashing on your phones screen. Your face heated, hesitantly standing from your chair and walking over to the bed, grabbing the phone. You took a deep breathe, clicking the 'accept call' option and putting the phone up to your ear.

"Shin?," your voice was soft, fragile even, his nickname rolling off your tongue with ease. "Y/n, can you come to my dorm? I need a distraction," his voice expressed a mix of weariness and urgency, the request coming out slowly.

Your heart raced at his words. A distraction? You wondered what he was trying to escape from. “Of course, I’ll be right there,” you replied, already moving to grab your shoes.

“Thanks,” he said, relief evident in his tone.

As you made your way through the familiar halls of Class 3A's dorm. High, your mind raced with thoughts of him. Being fwb with Shinso danced in your chest, but so did the nagging feelings you tried to suppress. You arrived at his dorm and knocked softly, anticipation bubbling inside you.

The door opened, revealing Shinso leaning against the frame, his hair tousled and his eyes slightly darkened from lack of sleep. He stepped aside, allowing you to enter. The room was dimly lit, shadows playing across the walls, creating an intimate atmosphere that felt both comforting and charged.

“Hey,” you greeted, trying to gauge his mood. He looked at you, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Thanks for coming,” he said, closing the door behind you. “I just needed to get my mind off things.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. “What’s bothering you?” you asked gently, settling onto the edge of his bed.

He shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “Just the usual stress, I guess. Training, expectations… you know how it is.”

You watched him, your heart aching at the vulnerability he rarely showed. “You don’t have to carry it all alone, you know,” you said softly.

He turned to you, his violet eyes locking onto yours, and in that moment, the tension shifted. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, his hands finding your waist as he leaned in. The kiss was sudden, yet it felt like a natural progression of the unspoken connection that had always simmered beneath the surface.

You melted into him, your worries momentarily forgotten as his lips moved against yours with a mix of urgency and tenderness. It was a kiss that spoke volumes, igniting the excitement of your relationship while also hinting at something deeper. As you pulled back, breathless, you searched his eyes for answers, knowing that this moment could change everything.

“Shin…” you started, but he silenced you with another kiss, a gentle yet firm reminder of the boundaries you had both set. The kiss deepened, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip before it pushed into your mouth. His grip on your hips tightened, pulling you closer ever so slightly. Your breath hitched, your tempreture risising at his touch. Yet, in that moment, you couldn’t help but wonder if these boundaries were meant to be crossed.

You gently pulled away again, your heart racing with anxiety and excitement. “Hitoshi, wait,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. He looked at you, confusion flickering in his eyes as you uttered his first name, and you could see the question forming on his lips.

“We need to talk,” you continued, your heart pounding as you searched his gaze for understanding. “About us… about what this is.”

His expression shifted, the playful spark dimming slightly as he processed your words. “Okay,” he replied slowly, his brow furrowing. “What do you want to say?”

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your feelings pressing against your chest.

“I just… I can’t keep pretending that there isnt something more between us. I care about you, Shin. And I don’t know if I can keep doing this without knowing where we stand. I need to know where we stand. We've been friends for over 2 years now and ever since we started being friends with benefits I've started seeing you differently. Wanting you more, wanting your kisses, your touch and I want to be the one that makes you smile, that makes you laugh, I want us to be more than whatever it is we are right now. ”

Silence hung between you, thick with tension.

So much to say but no words to say it.

You could see the gears turning in his mind, and you hoped that your honesty wouldn’t shatter the fragile balance you had built. But deep down, you knew it was time to confront the truth, no matter how daunting it felt.

Shinso sat there, his expression a mixture of surprise and contemplation. The silence stretched, heavy with the weight of your confession. You could see the blush creeping across his cheeks, a deep crimson that contrasted sharply with his pale skin. He covered his face with his hand, as if trying to shield himself from the intensity of the moment.

“I… I didn’t know you felt that way,” he finally managed to say, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes, usually so guarded, were wide with a mix of vulnerability and realization. “I thought I was the only one struggling with this.”

Your heart picked up at his words, relief washing over you, but the uncertainty still lingered. “So, you do feel something more?” you asked, your heart racing as you awaited his response.

His gaze dropped to the floor, and he took a steadying breath. “Yeah, I do. I’ve been trying to ignore it, to keep things simple, but it’s hard. Every time I see you, every time we’re together, it’s like… I want more. I want you more.” He ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit that only made your heart flutter. “I want to be the one who makes you smile too. I want to be the one who gets to hold your hand and kiss you without worrying about what it means.”

His honesty hung in the air, and you could feel the tension between you shift. The warmth in his cheeks deepened as he continued, “I’ve liked you for a long time, Y/n. I just didn’t know how to say it. I thought maybe if I kept pretending, it wouldn’t hurt as much when we… when we were together.”

You moved closer, your heart swelling at his admission. “Shin, it doesn’t have to be like that. We can figure this out together. I want to be with you, not just as friends with benefits, but as something real.”

He looked up at you, his violet eyes searching yours for confirmation. “Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin what we have. You mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to mess this up.”

You reached out, placing a hand on his cheek, feeling the warmth radiating from his skin. “You won’t mess it up. I promise. We can take it slow, figure it out as we go. But I can’t keep pretending like this doesn’t mean anything to me.”

His gaze softened, and a small, genuine smile broke through the uncertainty. “Okay. Let’s do it then. Let’s be more.”

With those words, the tension that had been building between you both seemed to dissipate, replaced by a sense of relief and excitement. You leaned in, capturing his lips with yours once more, this time with a newfound depth of emotion. The kiss was tender, filled with promises of what was to come, and as you melted into him, your heart raced, banging on your ears.

As you pulled away, you found his gaze fixed on you, a mixture of awe and affection in his eyes. “I’m really glad you said that,” he said, his voice steady now. “I’ve been wanting to say something for so long, and I just… I didn’t know how.”

“I’m glad we finally did,” you replied, your heart soaring. “Now come here," you giggled, kissing him deeply.

♡✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

[sinning-23]

Net Pt.2 (Shanks x Siren!Reader)

someone asked for part two and it blew up so uhhh here part two for my shanks loving bbgrls!

warnings: definelty pron with plot lol, tension, kissing, intense touching, p in v, never been touch, slow and gentle smeggs. uhh yeah, loss of virginity? Sorta?

Pt.1 Found Here

You gasp, feeling his hands slide under the fabric of your shirt. Cold. You huff at the feeling, breathless at his touch. Your lips don't stop, the two of you just barely separating for air before going back to being stuck like glue.

"Will you?" He asks, eyes soft and pleading desperate.

Stay with him? Live this life of piracy and be protected and loved by him? Be held and kissed and touch in places you'd yet to discover on yourself? Youd be a fool to say no.

Like clumsy young adults you sprint with one another to his quarters, the door locking before he's back on you, whimpers and moans just as musical as the creaky floorboards when you're backed against his bed.

Fear settles in your heart, well no, not fear, anxiety. He can see it and only kissed the top of your head, slowing his pace.

“Slow. Okay guppy?” He smiles, seeing you nod.

He scoots you back, your body upright but comfortable against then pillows. Shanks opts to work his way down, making sure you knew just how precious you were to him. Soft and slightly chapped lips brush over your scales and the flesh of your necks, praises fall from his lips like a prayer.

It makes your tummy turn, a wave of emotions flooding your mind and body like you’d never felt before. For someone who’s lived their whole life in the ocean you were almost too sure this is what it felt like to be seasick, a loved, nervously, excited mess.

“Focus.” He hums, seeing the emotional roller coaster your conscious had gone on.

And you did, finally letting yourself just relax. His hands aren’t cold anymore, and they slide down the fabric of your shirt, exposing your chest to him. It’s only a little embarrassing but the embarrassment is soon overpowered by pleasure.

Your back arches into him when he takes one into his mouth, sucking and licking the sensetive bud while his free hand bust barely grazed over the other. A moan slips past your lips and you feel him grin as he unlatches and decides to kiss down your stomach.

“I-I don’t, how do we even-I’ve never-“ You gasp, the feeling of his fingers over your wetness making yoo shirt circuit.

“I do remember saying we’d go slow, right? We’ll work out way up love.” He explains, just barely circling your clit, enjoying how you unraveled before him.

“I- please.” You beg, not sure of what you were asking for.

Maybe for him to not stop, to stop teasing and let you feel his fingers fill you up. Desperation is what that was. Pure, horned up, desperation.

“I know love, I know. Are you okay for me to-?” He doesn’t finish, only pushing your folds open slowly as your head lols back an your mouth falls open in a silent moan.

“Yea, please keep touching me. Dont stop touching me.” You whine, curses in your native tongue rolling off your swollen lips. You’re now gripping his forearm, nails leaving indents in the flesh there.

Your eyes lock, yours glossy, his desperate, and promising.

"Oh honey when you ask like that I’ll touch you whenever you want for as long as you want I promise." He sighs, connecting your lips again as he begins to pump two fingers in and out of you, your wetness making the process a bit easier.

He’s gently, knowing that you've never touched or been touched like this. He knows its rather overwhelming and the last thing he wasn't to do if make you feel, uncomfortable.

You cling to him, letting him suck and lick the flesh of your neck, spots of purple being left in his wake. You do the same though, marking him as yours with a smile. You gasp when he hits that softer spot inside you, your head falling onto his shoulder.

He knows your close, velet walls fluttering around his fingers as he used his free hand to rub circlesover your sensitive nub. It feels so much hotter than before, your legs feeling like jelly when he takes the initiative to fold them a little more and guide you to wrap them around his waist.

“That’s it, let yourself feel good. Let me make you feel good.” He whispers, pupils wide as he watched you pall apart from his touch.

You can feel your body squeeze, muscles feeling tight as he speeds up a bit, the sound of your squelching only filling you with embarrassment. It didn’t last long though, because before you could warn him of this feeling of pleasurable impending doom, you snap.

And alll he does it smile, slowing his back as you two your head back, squeezing him as if he’d suddenly disappear.

Shanks is back on you, kissing you through your damn near earth shattering orgasm with a smile. He knows you’ll feel empty when he pulls his fingers out of you so as a sort of courtesy he doesn’t stop, still keep that agonizingly slow pace.

“That’s it my love. Gods you look beautiful like that. So pretty cumming over my fingers.” He hums, finally removing them from you and raising them to his mouth.

“Shanks!” You gasp, trying you tug his hand away but it’s too late, the action making you burn up.

He doesn’t respond, only pressing his lips to yours, sliding his tongue between your teeth as you moan into him, further relaxing. It’s somehow bitter and sweet.

“Just wanted you to see how good you taste.” He chuckles, placing his hat atop your head.

“Now, let’s get you cleaned up, hm?” He finishes, kissing your forehead before turning to find something to clean you with.

He’s soft, pulling you into one of his shirts which is far too big for you. He kisses the top of your head, your eyelids, your nose, and finally your lips. The silent agreement of sleep written over your faces.

Yeah, you’d be a fool to say no to this.

Tag list: @gingernut1314 @commanderfreethatdust @justrandom20

[aluraveil]

no title because i dont have a name for this and i cant think of anything what

TW: Yandere themes, implied kidnapping, captivity of reader, Arlecchino is really mean and aggressive, and yelling.

Word Count: 800

A/N: This is so bad because I rushed to get this out. Again this is incredibly rushed so don’t expect to much LOL

There's always a way to tell if Arlecchino is in a good mood today.

Whenever she's happy, she always opens the door like how she normally does. She opens it, and then she'll close it with a soft click. She'll take off her shoes and hang up her coat and then she'll call out your name and that would be your cue to come greet her at the door.

You were laying on your bed wanting nothing more to sleep and do nothing the entire day. But suddenly the door slammed open and loud footsteps echoed through the house.

The second that the door slammed open, you could feel your heart drop.

Arlecchino.

She's back. And most importantly, she's not in a good mood today.

You could hear yelling and the voice of her screaming about who knows what. The second you heard her yelling, you instinctively hug your blanket tighter because you're scared. You're scared of her.

As if on instinct, you grabbed your blanket and kneeled down into the corner of the room. You sat there as if you could hide away from her.

You knew how angry Arlecchino gets whenever she's in a bad mood. 9 times out of 10 she always makes sure to take it out on you. She's scary and she yells a lot whenever she's mad at you. Flashbacks of when she would yell at you came across your mind and anxiety filled your veins.

You could hear loud footsteps making their way to your shared bedroom. Oh no. You don't know what to do. She's probably going to yell at you isn't she?..

Well you were right.

Arlecchino opened the room with a loud thud and despite knowing it was coming, it still scared you because of the loud noise.

She took a glance at you all curled in the corner with a blanket over you and how nervous you looked, she raised an eyebrow before saying, "why are you sitting in the dirty corner? Get up."

You didn't know what to do. You were paralyzed in fear. You took one look at her face and you could tell she was pretty heated.

Damn.

She had to ask that didn't she? What a way to rub salt on the wound.

"Did you hear what I said? I told you to get up." Arlecchino said looking disgusted at the way you were on the ground. The anger in her face dissapeared a bit before she noticed how nervous you looked. "Why do you look so scared right now?"

"I- uh.. um" You stuttered. How the hell are you supposed to answer that?

"I'm scared of you because you're always yelling and whenever you get angry you become scary and I don't like it. I don't like how you brought me here against my will. I hate you. I hate you so much. You're a cruel person and I don't want to ever see you again."

Is what you wanted to say.

But alas you were a scared pet, too afraid to talk back to your master.

"How many times do I have to tell you?!?!" She begins shouting. "Get up from the floor right now."

You scrambled to get up when she started shouting at you. It was best not to anger her anymore.

"You can never do what you're told can you?" She yelled. "I had to tell you three times to get up from the floor."

Arlecchino began yelling at you for the next minute about how you can't follow simple directions. After that, she walked away to let off some steam leaving you in the room all dumbfounded. You sat on the bed and decided to lay there. You were tired of her and how angry she could be.

Later on in the night she came back to your room and she saw you laying there. She laid right next to you and her arms wrapped around you body holding you tightly. Your heart immediately dropped when she starting cuddling you.

"I love you darling.." She mumbled as she nuzzled her face into your neck. A few hours ago she was yelling at you and now she's acting like nothing happened?

You couldn't do anything about it though. Arlecchino is always like this. She never apologizes after she yells at you.

You were afraid that if you didn't give her any affection, she might start yelling at you again. So you said the four words that would make her happy.

"I love you Arlecchino.."

You could feel her lips turning into a smile as her icy touch makes you shiver. As long as you show her some sort of affection she will be happy. Maybe she'll stop taking her anger out on you next time..

Probably not.

But hey? You could at least have some hope right?

Right?

[wonjns]

uncanny ii. resemblance ∯

♡° pairing. . .  lee heeseung x male reader

♡° genre. . . smut, fluff, angst

♡° summary. . . so you ended up with your twin sister’s boyfriend... what a turn of events. heeseung is definitely your dream guy, but little did you expect all of what exactly would unfold once you got him.

♡° includes. . . bottom!reader, even more horny bisexual hee!! lmao, lots & lots of kissing, dry humping, possessive heeseung, finger sucking, car sex (almost), blow job, orgasm prolonging, unprotected sex (dont irl!!)

♡° wc. . . 7k

°A/N. . . requested by many !! months & months later... finally 😮💨, i am so happy to be posting this!! i had no idea that so many of you would enjoy Uncanny, & i never intended on adding a second part. im just so mad it took me so long to write— so i’m sorry guys, i really hope its not awful !!!

                                  . . . .% Part 1 ♡ % . . . .

ㅤ

“so.... you two are now... dating...?”  

three pairs of very beady yet confused eyes lingered before you in your family living room. their glances examined you head to toe, along with a certain 6' ft male who stood beside you. 

you could feel your palm growing clammy in heeseung’s hold as you both timidly nodded, desperate to read the intent behind the deadpanned expression on your parents’ faces.

despite heeseung’s tall and stronger build, he almost felt his weakening knees give from beneath him as he caught eye contact with your sister-- his ex-- who had an ominously suspicious look on her face. he had seen this expression on her quite often, but was never the recipient. it was less than ideal. 

“well, y/n, do you really like him?” your mother chimed, her puzzled tone cracking the silence. 

all you could do was nod once again, slightly more fervently at the question. if only ‘like’ was enough to describe your feelings for the equally-as-nervous boy who stood fiddling with your fingers.  

“and heeseung? do you really like my son?” your father spoke up this time, eyebrows transfixed as he sunk deeper into his leather recliner. 

heeseung found himself only able to offer a shy nod as well, the soles of his shoes feeling as if they were hovering over lava from the heat of the atmosphere. 

“words, son.” your dad sternly quipped. 

it was unbelievable to heeseung how these two adults, whom he'd usually seen as secondary parents, suddenly felt like stone cold, life-sentencing supremes.

“yes–” the poor boy coughed, clearing his throat. “yes sir.” 

the fluttering of your heart after hearing his confession out loud threatened to distract you from the anxiety that surged through your nerves, but one glance up at your sister snatched you back to reality.

you couldn’t believe any of this was actually happening. normally, you and your twin shamelessly spilled everything you thought and felt to one another without a second thought - but you could only feel like shit as your mind resurfaced flashbacks of heeseung working your body in ways you’d only dreamt about, while your sibling, who just so happened to be his former lover, lingered cluelessly outside your room.

you and the older male had debated often after your first hookup whether or not this was something you guys should make public, out of fear of what your sister would think. 

but you knew you were too in love with heeseung– and always have been, to keep things suppressed. especially since neither of you showed signs of leaving what happened as a simple one night stand. so you chose the route of honesty, which lead you to the painfully awkward confession in front of your high council of family members.

“okay.” your mother, sister, and father chirped in a perky unison.

the air shifted, the imaginary weight your shoulders bore suddenly vanishing into nothingness. 

“okay!?” you and heeseung blurted in an equally perplexed harmony.

“yeah, okay!” your sister responded, on her own this time.

she uncrossed her folded arms, picking up the laundry basket she was previously interrupted from lugging to her room. “whatever keeps mr. clingy out of my hair so often. he’s a lot like an abandoned puppy at times, you know... was starting to get a bit draining.” 

“i’m... right here, you know.” heeseung mumbled out in response to your sister’s teasing. you noticed the tint of his cheeks growing red and couldn’t help but softly chuckle.

“honey, don’t be a bully.” your dad replied before your parents emitted a couple giggles themselves. 

“i’m sure what she meant to say was,” your mother started, standing to grab her purse and approach heeseung. “we love having you around. you’ve been a part of this family for some time now, so as long as you take care of our son as well as you did our daughter, there’s no reason for us to not give you our blessing.” 

and with that, she gave heeseung and yourself a quick peck to the cheeks before sauntering out of the room. she was followed shortly by the others, leaving just the two of you motionless as mannequins; both dumbfounded. 

that was... easy. too easy.

the back of your head landed gently against your pillows as heeseung pressed a deep kiss into your lips, giddy giggles escaping the both of you. 

the taller male’s hands casually roamed under your tank top as his mouth nearly swallowed you whole, pliantly groaning as he felt your fingers dance into his locks. his confidence was through the roof, the adrenaline from the confession still running ramped through his bones. 

he rolled his hips flush into yours, smirking into the makeout after absorbing one of your small whimpers. 

“what... even just happened?” you sighed out as heeseung moved to nip at your jaw. 

“i have no fucking clue.” he chuckled between nibbles on your sensitive skin, tracing over the area under your ear with his eager tongue.

you moaned, tugging his head back to reconnect your lips and feel that very tongue glide over yours. you reveled in the feeling of his hands massaging you beneath your shirt, not even the slightest bit surprised when he lifted it high enough to place kisses on your tummy.

“i just don’t- seriously... how did we pull that off??” you babbled, genuinely baffled while heeseung adjusted between your legs into an easier position for planting pecks along your hips.

he hummed into your skin, propping one of your legs around his torso. “i don’t know, i guess we’re way better than we thought.” 

heeseung’s kisses started growing hungrier, and he took the liberty to suck a few marks on the surface of your stomach amidst your confused rambling. your hips started instinctively rolling into his chest, and you bit back a moan from the friction of your member grinding against his solid pecs. 

“seunggie, wait, literally everyone is still home...” 

“so? we got the green light, didn’t we?” the boy taunts before playfully tugging on the waistband of your shorts. 

you chuckle before nudging his hands away, scooting yourself back to sit up against your bed’s headboard. “i think so... but let’s talk about that first.”

heeseung huffed while blinking his gorgeous lashes at you, dramatically hovering above the empty silhouette of where your body was. 

“talk about...?”

“well, the word my parents used. dating.” you uttered as if it were a curse word. 

“you... want to talk about the word ‘dating’?” he questioned, shifting to prop his head up with an elbow. 

“not the word itself, stupid- i just..... i think-” you stumbled, laughing to yourself while also resisting that familiar rosy blush from spreading on your cheeks. "i think if we’re officially a thing...”

heeseung hesitatingly nodded along with your words, his beautiful brown orbs watching you intently as if he was trying to read your mind. 

“then shouldn’t we, like, do the things people who date do before we keep messing around? like,, don’t we have to do that sappy couple stuff before sex?” 

heeseung couldn’t help but release a loud chuckle at your adorableness, attempting to muffle it in a nearby pillow. god, you wanted to at least pretend to be aggravated, but his laugh was just too damn cute. 

“you’ve never dated anyone, have you?” he asked when he eventually finished his cackles. 

“...is it that obvious?” you chime, your signature blush undeniably as present as ever. 

the older boy cooed at you, quickly sitting up and pulling you into the empty space between his lap. he pecked your lips, running his thumb along the bridge of your nose and fondly examining your flustered face, a little too long for your liking, before finally speaking up. 

“i mean, if my baby boy wants a date, then that’s what we’ll do. you’re right, we should get to know each other more first.”

you wanted to melt into a puddle and trickle all over his lap right then and there, and absolutely would if you physically could. you felt small, but protected, under heeseung’s gaze. something about the way he looked at you made your insides ignite with a feeling you’d never felt so intensely before, and you started to realize you were down… bad.

“okay!” you triumphed brightly.

you cupped your hands around his neck, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on his forehead before staring back into his eyes. 

“where do you wanna go?” heeseung inquired, nonchalantly leaning back on his arms propped behind him. 

“i don’t know? we just established i’m the one who’s never done this before!” you admitted while shifting your eyes down to his prominent adams apple, grazing your finger over it. 

“fine, it’ll be a surprise. and you’re gonna love it. this friday.”  

everything just sounded so cool coming from him, and he spoke in that careless manner that was just too hot to keep you focused. 

“perfect,” you feigned confidence, having transitioned to fiddling with his hoodie’s drawstrings. “and... no more kissing until then.” 

heeseung let out an exaggerated gasp, eyebrows furrowing at you.

you could only chuckle before being completely tackled back into your mattress, your boyfriend’s lips as relentless as ever. 

so much for that rule. 

two weeks later, you and heeseung were sickeningly attached by the hips— and lips— more than ever. 

the boy had swooped you off your feet in every sense of the term. he took you on your first date, a dual movie-picnic date on his front lawn wrapped in warm blankets (all too cliché, but still didn’t fail to spark a storm of butterflies in your stomach), which led to your second. and then third. and then fourth... and they only got better each time.

after living a long, agonizing year of being secretly infatuated with him, you weren’t sure if it were physically possible to even fall for this guy any more.

yet, you were wrong. 

through solely a few mere weeks, myriad of walks around town, and late night drives, you were seeing so many more sides of heeseung than you could’ve imagined. his charms, humor, honesty, chivalry, and even his flaws. you were taking in all of it. and he was learning so much more about you, beyond the fact of being the former love of his life’s twin brother.

you were growing obsessed with each other, and it showed. at no point in the day could heeseung keep his hands to himself anymore, and you were hardly complaining.

it even came down to the time you had to actually pry his lips from your neck in a public restaurant so that a stunned waitress, the unfortunate soul to serve your table, could finally take your order.

he just loved to show you off;

no matter where you were. 

his tinge of possessiveness was a bit embarrassing at first, but god it was kinda hot. you were so caught up in the total package of lee heeseung that you hardly had sense to worry about anything else; not caring if you were in the seclusion of your rooms or a grocery store parking lot when he would snake one of his hands down your pants to greet your erection.

every little thing he did drove you crazy, and even more so vice versa.

little did you know, heeseung was operating from a slightly different source of obsession.

you sat in the passenger seat of heeseung's red mercedes, soft rnb music playing through your boyfriend's speakers as one of his hands securely held the back of your neck while he lathered your lips in passionate, lustful kisses.

you moaned as heeseung swirled his tongue in your mouth, taking his sweet time in tasting you and using his free hand to guide yours down to his crotch. you were hesitant, but couldn't resist pressing your palm to his member to feel how hard he already was.

heeseung exhaled from the pleasure, wasting no time in maneuvering your hand beneath his waistband. he swallowed a gasp that escaped your lips once he started shamelessly bucking his hips up into your hold.

it took strength, but you willed yourself to break apart from the kiss and give him a nervous look, considering the two of you were parked in front of his parent's house in broad daylight.

"babe," you spoke, catching your breath. "we're about to go inside, we shouldn't."

your boyfriend smirked at you, hearing your warning but noticing how you still hadn't retracted your hand from inside his pants. his eyes also caught the slowly forming tent in your own jeans.

"exactly, that's why we should get this out of the way now." he half whined, needily leaning over into your space and tugging at your hips. "my mom takes forever to get dinner ready, you know I can't wait."

his plush lips were immediately on your neck before you could rebut, him aiming straight for your weak spot. damn, he knew exactly how to kill your resolve in an instant.

you rolled your eyes, partially from annoyance but also from the way he groaned while sucking on your soft flesh. you fumbled a bit, climbing over the center console and settling atop of his thighs. his satisfied grin only grew wider before rushing to capture your lips again, his kisses as addicting as ever.

heeseung's large hands roamed up and down your back as he widened his jaw to deepen the kiss, and quickly settled them on your hips to grind you forwards on his lap.

your arms found purchase on his broad shoulders as you molded your mouths more fervently. heeseung repeated the action in a rhythm, pleased by how simple it was to get reactions out of you.

jolts of excitement tingled through your legs as your clothed bulges ran along each other, the feeling heavenly as you began bucking your hips on your own accord without his assistance. heeseung's hands snuck their way under your shirt and returned to roaming your back. he gently dragged his short nails along your skin, causing goosebumps to grow array all over you.

your own hands began unbuttoning his flannel and dipping under his collar, the familiar smoothness of his shoulders warm on your fingertips, helping settle your anxieties of being seen by the neighbors, or worse– his own parents who were inside the house mere steps away.

you couldn't understand how heeseung always had you in these sort of positions, but judging from the rock hard length pressing between your thighs, he was clearly into it.

heeseung could still feel your nervousness, and leaned back amused as he watched the embarrassment and pleasure battle for dominance on your face. he kissed the tip of your nose and chuckled.

"your sister used to love making out to this song." he mumbled in a low tone, dipping down to wrap his lips around your adams apple while simultaneously turning up the radio's volume.

you could barely register the odd statement as you threw your head back, eyes fluttering closed when heeseung started suckling and licking on the column of your throat in sync with the melodic tune that filled the car. 

it was bliss, but just as you felt yourself drawing close to your high, the sentence rang through your head again.

your sister? this song? in this car?

suddenly, the image of your sister being in your exact same position– which she undoubtedly had been in several times before, flashed through your mind.

it caused you to jolt a little bit. heeseung paid no mind to the sudden action, thinking it was another one of your cute responses to his ministrations.

"uhm... hee?" your hips slowed to a halt, a bit of that familiar guilt settling into you again.

at first you thought it was just mindless sex talk, but as you had delved deeper into your official relationship with heeseung, you caught on to how often he would still talk about your twin, consistently making comparisons and recalling similarities between the two of you.

he wasn't necessarily wrong, but it was getting weirder as it progressed. you had just convinced yourself it was natural due to how similar you were with your sibling, and kept things pushing without dwelling on it for too long.

"hee?" you spoke again, opening your eyes when you hadn't gotten a response.

he hummed against your neck, sloppy kisses never ending in the crook of your neck. you managed to draw back, gently pushing his shoulders to disconnect from his lips. he looked at you quizzically, yet adoration still beaming in his eyes.

"i've been meaning to talk to you about-"

you were cut off by the abnormally loud ringing of his cell phone, which sat lodged in one of the car's cup holders. he sighed, telling you to wait just a moment when he read the caller id.

"hello? yeah mom, we just pulled up. we're coming in now." he exhaled, gently rubbing your thigh.

a huff of disappointment left your nose, but you were semi-grateful you didn't actually have to have the awkward conversion right before meeting his parents.

you gathered yourself back together, clasping the first few buttons of heeseung's shirt back together for him as he flattened the small wrinkles on yours.

he opened the car door, helping you climb out of his lap and onto the pavement, where you readjusted yourself in the reflection of the car's glass.

"after you, prince." heeseung gestured to his home's front door.

"but, it's your house." you responded.

"yeah, but... mom likes it when people make strong first impressions." the older boy grinned.

you took your bottom lip in between your teeth, a pool of nervousness returning to your gut as you realized you really had never met heeseung's parents before.

sure, they were all too familiar with your sister from their year together, but you were an entirely different story - an entirely more complicated story.

you knocked on the large glass front door nervously, heeseung standing just behind your shoulder. he leaned down to whisper.

"they don't take to strangers very well. if you get scared, tap my leg. they can be pretty tough."

heeseung was a liar. 

you had received nothing but beaming smiles and suffocating hugs as soon as you stepped through the door. 

you had prepared to walk into a homophobic hellfire, not knowing what sort of glares and comments would be thrown your way. setting the fact that you were a boy aside, you still had plenty to worry about.

heeseung left a committed relationship, albeit not by his own choice, just to end up with his girlfriend’s brother was quite a unique situation - yet it seems his parents hadn’t even thought about that as they chattered away through dinner table conversation. shit, the wholesome smile you were met with the second his mom opened the door would be tattooed in your mind forever.

“so, y/n dear, heeseung hasn’t been giving you too much trouble now, has he?” his mother asked as she cut her steak into tiny pieces from across the table. 

“our son can be so lazy sometimes,” his dad chimed in with a chuckle. “gotta make sure he’s not constantly slacking off.”

you laughed, feeling like heeseung was being regarded as your new employee. you caught a slight frown on his face from his parents teasing, and you reached up to run your hand through his hair. 

“i guess you could say he isn’t too bad.” 

he looked to you quickly, an adoring smile growing, seemingly grateful you hadn’t joined in his parent’s shenanigans. or so he thought. 

“except for when he takes forever to get out of bed. or to go run errands. or to-”

“alright!” he huffed, frustratingly spooning some food together on his plate.

you all erupted with laughter, he was so cute when he pouted. it was nice seeing lee heeseung, the confident athlete, get all blushy and shy around his parents - his usual commanding demeanor nowhere to be found as he sheepishly shoveled broccoli into his cheeks. yet another side of him you hadn’t expected to see, but made you fall just a little more.

you found yourself in heeseung’s room after dinner, a surprise to no one, after helping his parents clean the dishes afterwards. 

you had taken the opportunity to spend more time laughing and teasing heeseung alongside his parents, so it was no shocker that he quickly whisked you away to his own private space - desperate to have all of your attention fully on him.

you giggled as you were ushered into his bedroom, his hands never leaving your waist until the door was securely shut. 

“your parents are so much fun.” you beamed at the taller boy whose blush still lingered on his face. 

“yeah, probably a little too much fun.” he huffed, walking over and plopping on his bed.

your eyes fondly gazed around his bedroom, surprisingly still somewhat childlike, figurines and pictures of his youth still lining the shelves. a genuine smile grew on your face. you really shouldn’t be shocked, he did often have the tendencies of a big baby.

“you know, mr. lee, you’re not all that of a tough guy.” you commented, reaching up to examine one of his action figures.

“oh, really? what makes you think that?” he chuckled back, discreetly unbuttoning his shirt while you were distracted.

“yeah… i don’t know why you put up the act so often, you’re really just a little softie. like i remember whe-” the words halted in their tracks when you turned to taunt him more, but froze at the view of his toned abs glaring right at you, jeans slightly lowered on his hips. 

“is that so?” he responded lowly, tilting his head to the side. “why don’t you bring that little ass over here and see how much of a softie i really am?” 

his words sent a wave of arousal straight to your cock, which you immediately tried to will from springing to action so quickly.

you let out a half-spirited scoff, trying to appear unbothered as he sat there and widened his legs while staring you down. but damn, the golden evening light that shone through his window was hitting him in all the right places. his solid abdomen lured you in while he lolled his head back, teasing you with the prominent grooves of his neck that had you practically squeezing your legs together. 

damnit, he was temptation personified – too effortlessly hot for you to resist.

before you knew it your legs brought you to stand between his. he cocked an eyebrow before giving you another annoyingly sexy smirk and nodding his chin towards your own top. 

“off.”

your face instantly surged with heat, but you couldn’t help but obey with the sudden authority he spoke with. in seconds your shirt was discarded and on the floor by his feet, a chill crawling across your topless chest. 

“you know, i’m not really a fan of how much you used my parents to tease me tonight,” he said monotonously, raking a warm hand up your exposed torso. “i think you were enjoying it wayyy too much.”

his thumb found one of your perked nipples, rubbing in firm circles. you moaned at the sensation, just to hurriedly cover your mouth with your own hand, the realization that you were at his parents’ house hitting you once again. 

“hee… wait.” you responded, attempting to take a step back. 

heeseung only chuckled before catching you still with his free arm, continuing to play with your sensitive bud. 

“where’s all the laughter now? you were having so much fun earlier, remember? let's keep that fun going.”

your boyfriend then leaned in to run his warm tongue over your other exposed nipple, causing you to hold back another whimper as your hands flew to his hair. he pulled your body closer as he started suckling on the bud, and you didn’t have it in you to fight it anymore. once he started working his mouth on you like this, you were puddy.

you cursed how weak you were to his actions, but even he could sense how badly you wanted him at all times.

“s-someones the jealous type, huh?” you stuttered, sounding way less intimidating than you wanted. “even over your parents, hm?”

he released your bud with a wet pop, dark eyes shooting straight up to yours before returning his lustful gaze to your body. your limbs started to quake with desire.

“how could i not be? when i have all of this just for me…”

both of his hands held your hips as he licked a long, teasing strip up your torso before finishing it with a peck to your chest. he locked eyes with you again, his determined pupils staring deep into your trembling, desperate ones. he enunciated his next words slow and smooth, like honey.

“just… for… me…” 

you pounced first. you couldn’t take it anymore, the alluring mischief in his eyes and addictive touch all over your physique had you grinding your topless bodies together like animals. your limbs entangled with his as your mouths waged war together, the possessive bites against your lips sending your mind into a daze. 

he effortlessly flipped you over, taking the advantage to grind down on you even stronger one last time before working the zipper of your jeans. he stripped the both of you down to your boxers in record time, licking his lips as he watched you begin to palm your own growing bulge - putting on a show for him. 

“you’re going to absolutely kill me.” heeseung muttered, trying to control the raging need surging throughout him.

“your parents might do that for me, if they catch us.” you speak with a newfound confidence, hiding the fact that you were completely mortified of that exact occurrence. 

heeseung chuckled before shimmying your last layer of underwear off, leaving you fully exposed for him as he lowered his own and started pumping his unbelievably large member. 

“we won’t have to worry about it if you can stay quiet, prince.”

you thought heeseung was about to just dive into you raw as he lowered his muscular body to yours, but relaxed when you felt him reach under his pillow to grab a bottle of lube. your eyes grew wide. 

“you planned this!” you gasped, fauxing a complaint.

“shh shhh.” heeseung hushed you, tapping his fingers against your lips. 

narrowing your gaze at him, you didn’t hesitate to trap his fingers between your lips, emitting a low groan from your throat as you ran your tongue over his digits. you successfully caught him off guard, if his quiet gasp was anything to go by, but a sly grin crept on his face.

“naughty boy, trying to do my job for me. are you that excited?” he commented before yanking his digits from your mouth, chuckling at your pout. 

he leaned down to swiftly place a flurry of pecks on your plump lips while lubing his fingers up, right before he reached down to push them into your entrance. you moaned into the air much louder than before, causing his other hand to toss the bottle of lube and clamp your mouth shut. 

“god, baby, do you want them to hear us? control yourself.” he smirked, finding all too much pleasure in the way your eyes rolled back when he began pumping his digits in and out of you.  

a mantra of muffled sounds flew from your mouth into heeseung’s palm, and thankfully so, since your body had already compromised your self control. when he finally pulled his fingers from your ass, you whined at the loss of contact. 

“heeseung, please fuck me already. please.” you breathlessly begged once he removed his palm from your mouth.

again, heeseung mercilessly chuckled down at your state. 

“such a needy boy… so fucked out and i haven’t even done much.” 

you wanted to banter back like you usually would, but this man had already reduced you into such a desperate mess with nothing but a couple minutes and his hands. he learned so quickly how your body worked, and how much of an affect his words had on you. once you were turned on by him, you wanted– needed every ounce of him as soon as you could have him. 

feeling merciful, heeseung lined up his girth with your entrance, pushing in slowly. this time, it was an equal struggle for both of you to keep yourselves quiet, the size of his length and intense look into your eyes causing you to melt while your hole sucked him in so desperately. 

“fuck, fuck. still such a tight ass. my boyfriend really loves my cock, hm?” heeseung grunted, trying to keep himself together when he saw tears of pleasure form at the corner of your eyes.

you nodded your head, unable to form words at the pleasurable pain you felt. your fingers curled into his dark locs as he lowered his head to sink his teeth into your neck, sucking marks there in order to keep quiet. you were fighting with everything in you to not scream and beg him for more, for him to fully consume you. 

“h-hee,” you whined, trying to keep it a whisper. “more.”

your hands sprawled along his toned back, feeling his muscles ripple as he began rutting his hips into yours, releasing deep moans into your neck. the vibration had you feel like you were levitating, a sensation only heeseung seemed to bring you. 

legs sliding along his strong thighs, you wrapped them around his torso as he picked up in speed, your vision blurring over at his power. 

“you’re so sexy, baby. sucking me in so well, making me lose my fucking mind.” he commented between the harsh nips along your jaw, sweat starting to bead around his forehead.  “what if my parents came in here and saw me wrecking you like this? would you like that? my mom seeing me do all of this to you right here after breaking up with your sister.”

you squeezed your legs tighter around his torso as he spoke, causing you to moan out loud once feeling your leaky cock rub against his solid abs. before heeseung could shush you, you clenched down on his fat length while your liquids shot out over his chest - him finding the moment so hot that it was only a second before he was emptying out in you as well. 

he collapsed on top of you after as you both silently gasped for breath, but you welcomed the crushing feeling. 

you couldn’t believe you just screwed him in his childhood room, with his parents just on the other side of the door, praying they didn’t hear you. but knowing how turned on heeseung was by risks, you should’ve known this was gonna be how the night would end.

after just sitting in eachothers embrace for a while, you finally sat up, heeseung leaning over to place even more kisses on your glossed over lips, never getting enough of you. 

“lets get cleaned up and head to bed, prince. my parent’s already know you’re staying the night.” 

“staying the night?” you questioned tilted your head. you saw another sinister glint in his eye as he kissed you one more time.

“yeah, you still gotta meet my grandparents tomorrow.”

you drug your feet through the threshold of your home, utterly exhausted. it had been a long day of class, filled with a suspicious amount of exams and lectures compared to normal, but you were relieved to finally be done with the day. 

heeseung had texted you just as you had begun driving home, telling you he was already at your place helping your dad with chores around the house. you smiled to yourself, still giddy over how perfect he was and thankful for the loving relationship between him and your family – you couldn’t wait to finally see him after such a draining day. 

it was oddly silent as you walked through the house, failing to have found heeseung when visiting your parent’s room in hopes to collapse in his arms as soon as possible. 

you heard giggling rise in volume as you crossed the house and neared your room. you drew closer to your door, hearing muffled sounds just behind it. when you curiously turned the doorknob, the sight of heeseung looming over your twin sister, mouth practically devouring her, caused you to stand frozen - blood running cold under your skin. 

you stood speechless, tears beginning to well as you watched their lips passionately interlock in a noisy makeout just like they had done months before, tongues brazenly running along each other as wanton moans filling the atmosphere. 

you tried to speak but could only choke out a sob, your knees threatening to betray you. heeseung and your sister paused, turning their heads towards you after hearing the sound. they both stared at you pathetically, and simply chuckled before heeseung returned his grip on your own headboard, continuing to thrust his tongue into your sister’s mouth - the latter resuming to claw at your boyfriend’s naked back and moaning smugly.

you were stunned, and wanted to scream, cry, or throw anything you could get your hands on at them… 

but instead, you woke up. 

your body jolted up in bed, met with a dimmed room and a ray of moonlight beaming onto you - reflecting a sheen of sweat on your face. 

glancing around the darkened room, your eyes found the clock at read 1:25 am. not far from your line of sight was heeseung himself sprawled out beside you, softly snoring away with an arm draped over your waist. you noticed you were in one of his baggy shirts, the previously comforting smell almost causing you to grow nauseous. 

you couldn’t control your breathing, stinging feelings of betrayal and embarrassment still burning in your gut from your dream - rather, nightmare.

you let out a deep sigh once you finally realized everything you had seen in your sleep state wasn’t real… everything except the tears. you felt salty droplets drip from your chin and onto heeseung’s arm, who began to stir. 

humiliated, you tried to shuffle back down into your prior position in order to avoid waking up heeseung, failing to soften your fast breathing or stop your flow of tears. 

but alas, as if your uncomfortability set off an inner alarm of his, heeseung had awoken. you felt him lean up on his elbow, arm lazily pulling you towards him. 

“whats wrong, y/n?” he asked in a groggy voice. 

immediately, another stream of tears raced down your cheek at the sound of his voice. it was embarrassing how worked up you had managed to get from a simple dream, but you almost felt sick even being this close to him, although he had done nothing wrong. 

it had finally become too much; your insecurity and constant comparisons to your sister had caught up to you. the continuous chipping away at your rose-colored view of heeseung had ultimately found you, and it hurt like a bitch. your intrusive thoughts were convincing you that you were nothing but a rebound-by-blood, a second best option.

refusing to have heeseung see you like this - a sobbing mess in the middle of the night, you remained facing away from him, not answering his initial call. 

“y/n.” he spoke again, a little more cognisant. he turned your body over, squinting at you through the dim lighting, before his eyes gently widened. “what happened? bad dream?” 

he was right, but it was more so your subconscious so cruelly giving you a visionary of what you had secretly been scared of this whole time. sitting up, you wiped away the wet streaks on your face. 

“heeseung… do you like me?” 

the older male furrowed his brows. “babe, what? i-” 

“im serious. do you like, me?” you insisted, doubt slithering its way onto your expression. 

“where the hell is this coming from?” heeseung sighed, pushing himself to fully sit up. 

“everytime we’re together, you always talk about her. how much i look like her, sound like her, the things i do… the things we do…"

as much as it pained you to finally ask this question out loud, you couldn't keep it in anymore.

"you’re not over my sister, are you?” 

your beady eyes held a tundra of anxiety in them, with heeseung’s almost bulging out of his head. 

“you make me feel like i’m not even my own person, hee.” you continued, voice cracking between sobs. “you’re still hung up on her and you just use me, don't you? just to feel like you’re still close to her.”

heeseung was baffled at your accusation, and was ready to rebut everything, until a wave of awareness crashed over him. his gaze softened, hearing the doubt and self-consciousness in your voice. he turned his body to face you directly. 

“y/n. i won’t lie to you. when your sister dumped me, my entire world felt like it was shattering. i had gotten use to a life with her, and i did have genuinely strong feelings for her… i thought she was my everything.” 

you could feel yet another dam breaking behind your eyelids, closing them shut in order to keep the waterworks from flowing. 

“but,” he spoke firmly, taking both of your hands in his before you could retract them. “i love you, y/n. i love you. when i started seeing you, i did think it would just be a way for me to move on, but you are amazing. so fucking amazing. everything you do, all you've done for others,, i’ve fallen so fucking hard for the person that you are. you’ve made me feel things she never did, and never could. i’m sorry i’d been so caught up on your sister before, i guess i just wasn’t ready to move on as soon as i thought. but there is absolutely nobody i’d rather be with than you… right now, in this moment. i promise you that with every fiber of my entire being.”

with that, the well overflowed, streams of tears treading down your skin and landing on the interlocked knuckles of you and heeseung. you knew telling the truth, his words smashing down and easing away each wall of doubt you had in your mind. 

you were so unbelievably in love with this man, and a tender wave of relief radiated throughout your body when you caught the reassuring smile he gave you, closing the distance to attach your lips in a loving kiss.

the kiss deepened as you grabbed the sides of his face, pouring all of your emotions into the gates of his lips, melting into the comfort of his affection. his long arms wrapped around you and pulled you under him, meeting no resistance. 

he moaned into your mouth when you licked at his lips, letting you in easily. he kissed you sensually, slower than any other time before, refusing to detach your mouths until you absolutely needed to breathe.

“never gonna make you doubt how much i love you again,” he whispered into your neck as he started laying sweet kisses to your soft skin, hands gently roaming every inch of you. 

his supple lips felt like heaven as they followed his path down your body, taking his time to suck marks into every inch as he lowered himself. when he reached your hips he left wet open-mouthed kisses along the waistband of your boxers, looking up at you with his beautiful orbs for permission as his hands tugged at the seams. 

the butterflies returned when you nodded at him, running your hands along the grooves of his biceps. he removed your underwear, not wasting any time in placing kisses to your shaft, chills shooting up your spine at the sensation. his nose poked at your pelvis as he lightly dragged his lips up to your tip, before taking your length whole in his mouth. 

you gasped as the warmth of his mouth, hardly having the energy to react to the pleasure. your head fell to the side of the pillow as your erection was soothed over by heeseung’s talented tongue, flattening along your member licking up and down before he started bobbing his head. 

his large hands kept your body still from squirming as he showed your cock attention, occasionally humming and sending more waves of electricity through your legs. 

“feel s’good… gonna come.” you muttered not long after he started, only causing a satisfied groan to rumble through his throat. 

he released your member and lowered just to prod his tongue at your rim, before suckling gently on your balls and recapturing your cock in his mouth in one swift motion. a couple more strokes of his precise tongue and you were spilling into heeseung’s mouth, shuddering when he didn’t waste a drop. 

he repositioned back above your body, and you had only then noticed he’d slept in just his boxers, his neck chain dangling in front of your face. you ran your hands up his toned torso, once again growing obsessed with the feeling of his skin on yours.

the look of utter adoration in his eyes felt heavy on your form, and you could already feel yourself wanting more when he dipped down to place searing kisses to your jaw and grind your hips together.

“i love you baby, let me keep making you feel good.” he spoke, nipping at your earlobe while reaching down to stroke your member back to attention.

“please, baby. i love you too. and i want you so bad, forever.” you admitted, feeling the breath of a light chuckle against your cheek.

just as you wished, his thick length had entered you, gliding along your walls in no time with a delicious friction that you never got tired of. except this time, more than just desire and arousal, the friction brought a comfort, a feeling of love you could feel surging throughout your whole body.

“you can have all of me, whenever you want, prince. i belong only to you.”

© 𝐟𝐥𝐰𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐢 — all rights reserved

[b1mbodoll]

pairings: lee heeseung x f! reader

warnings: angst + hurt no comfort

💌: ok i never considered writing anything other than smut bc i dont think im suited for fluff/angst but im listening to miss taylor swift and champagne problems + right where you left me are so heartbreaking agh i love taylor she’s so good at telling stories thru songs ♡__♡ anyway here’s something based off them pls lmk if u like or not T_T ps i didnt know how to finish it so yeahhhh this is my frist time writing angst agh!!!!!!

your relationship with heeseung was perfect. too perfect, you think. it’s a miracle the two of you lasted as long as you did, but you loved him, and you’d do anything to keep him in your life until the love you shared ate away at your being, consuming you entirely before spitting you out, leaving behind a broken mess of the person you once were.

you realize it’s gone too far when he proposes. he’d planned a romantic candlelit dinner for two on your anniversary. you looked gorgeous, he thought, anxiety coursing through his veins as he mentally prepared to ask for your hand in marriage.

heeseung waits until the two of you finish your meals before sliding out of the booth and getting on one knee, a black box in hand as his eyes well up with tears. “yn,” he starts, “i’ve loved you since the moment i met you. all i want in this life is you by my side, please just say yes.” his hands are shaking as he awaits your answer.

silence. your mouth opens and closes as you try to voice your thoughts but everything is too much, and you’re unable to give him the answer he wants. it tears your heart in two when he swallows thickly, unshed tears pooling in his lashline.

“oh.” he rises to his feet, nearly tripping as he clumsily reaches for his wallet, slapping a wad of cash on the table before making his way out of the restaurant.

you chase after him desperately, “heeseung, wait please. i’m sorry, i love you too, so much but- ”

he’s cornered and embarrassed and angry. “but what,” he sneers, sadness evident on his face despite the bite in his voice. but he’s not angry with you, he’s angry at himself because he was foolish enough to believe he was good enough for you.

again you’re hesitating to answer him, tears streaming down your cheeks as regret settles in your bones, and heeseung’s itching to comfort you, to press kisses along your face until you smile at him and all is forgotten but he can’t. not this time. “but i’m not good for you!” your voice cracks as you reveal your deepest fears to him. “you deserve so much better than me, it’s not fair to keep you to myself when i know i’ll never be enough.”

“you don’t get to decide that.” his tone is stern, “i do. i’m free to make my own choices and i choose you, so please,” he’s begging now, “just pick me.”

you clear your throat and wipe at your face, streaks of mascara staining your cheeks and undereyes.

“i can’t.”

this moment has replayed in your head every single day since your breakup and it feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest when every morning you’re forced to remember that heeseung is no longer in your life. forced to remember the anguish he so obviously felt and how you were the cause.

[gtzel]

Help! My classmate is a size shifter!

3.Oh Crap! You're Awake

(first/previous/next)

I had been scrolling on his phone, trying to distract Myself from the overwhelming panic my brain had resorted to, when I heard my shrunken classmate begin to stir. I immediately froze to see what he was going to do.

the tiny figure of Elijah was laying on top of an old folded up t-shirt, which acted as a make shift blanket as well. he slowly started to wake up, rubbing his eyes. Elijah was so tiny and frail looking, not to mention the lack  of color on his skin, which couldn't have been normal. or maybe it was normal, after all, I had only recently met him and his overall complexion was quite pale. anyway, he was waking up, and i just sat there frozen in shock and awe.

he sat up and opened his eyes, the shirt sliding down his bare torso and crumpling in his lap. he seemed dazed at first then began to look around in a panic.

His eyes drifted around the room as he looked around with a confused demeanor. I watched him carefully until his eyes eventually landed on me. When we locked eyes a shock went through the room.

"h-hey....eli" i said softly, raising my hands as a sign of peace. unfortunately for me, it didnt work, as just the entire shock of the situation caused him to shrink back. he clamped his hand over his mouth as he looked at me. 

the way his eyes widened with horror as he looked at me broke my heart. i felt so guilty for scaring him. i saw itty bitty tears well up in his eyes, and i started to panic, not sure how to deal with a tiny hysterical person. 

"wait wait wait wait wait! hey bro its just me, its okay...im here" i leaned closer to his delicate form reaching out my hand gently.

"w-w-whats....whats going on....why are you- what happened to-" i saw him struggling to stay calm as his tiny form shook with anxiety.

"hey hey, its okay im here to help you" i cooed moving my hand to brush against his tiny arm. he flinched back violently which made me feel terrible. my heart squeezed with guilt as i saw my friend look at me like i was a monster.

i cringed "sorry, do you not want me to touch you?" i stayed still waiting for his response. he pressed his tiny mouth into a thin line and shook his head. i sighed, which ruffled his shaggy black bangs out of his face momentarily, and moved my hand away from him.

"i guess.....your probably pretty confused and scared right now" i looked down at my hand, sadly in awe of how scared he must be of me. for good reason too, i could-not that i would EVER do such a thing- crush him with barely any effort. 

"w-what....w-why am i-" he choaked unable to continue the sentence.

"listen, i dont know myself. all i know is we were hanging out one second, then you double down and...you like...started glowing..." i raised my eyes to meet his gaze, my heart twinged as i saw he still was on edge and frantically glancing around. "....and then you just disappeared, and i found you like this in a pile of your clothes. i got scared and brought you to my place, its the only thing i could think to  do" i said guiltily.

there was a tense silence that blanketed the room as i waited for eli to calm down enough to talk. i was about to speak when i heard a faint sniffling coming from my nightstand. i looked up to see elijah wiping away tears, his legs curled up in front of him. 

"o-oh, eli" i cooed silently "its..its gunna be okay" i said trying to calm him and using all my willpower to not touch him. 

"am-am i going to be s-stuck like this f-f-forever?" he looked up at me with terrified tear filled eyes in desperation. 

"im-im not sure, but ill do everything i can to help you" i leaned in closer, trying to make him feel better. he scooted back anxiously away from me and looked up at me with fear.

"w-what are....you going to do with me?" the way he phrased it broke my heart. i looked at him sadly, and he returned the gaze with fear. 

"eli-" i stopped, feeling my own tears well up at the realization that my friend thought i would do something to harm him, that i would take his free will just because of his predicament "elijah, i would never do anything to hurt you, well find a way for you to be normal again, i promise" i just wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him, assure him that everything was going to be alright. but i couldn't, he was small and scared of ME and i had to get him to trust me before i could help him with anything.

he bit his lip and nodded, hugging his knees tightly. i wanted so badly to hold him again, help him feel better. i wanted to comfort him and hug him and tell him everything would be okay. 

"c-can i....can i hold you, eli?" i said softly looking town at him with pleading eyes.

a bead of anxious sweat trickled down my forehead as i anticipated his answer. he looked at me hesitantly and gulped. his eyes wandering up my torso and meeting my eyes as he shuttered involuntarily.  

i sighed "i-if you dont want to its fine, i jus thought it might-" i started before he interrupted me.

"okay" one word. but that one word made my heart swell with affection and relief. 

"okay" i breathed in eco as i reached out my hand to grab him, then a thought crossed my mind. i changed my hand positioning to be palm upward laying it next to him. "get on when you feel comfortable" i smiled encouragingly.

[gwaaaaar]

Hate being a toma stan bc a. Hes toma . (Fucked up and evil. And b. Because hes so much lost potential it pisses me off... Toma in heart route >>>> toma in diamond.

I think hes fascinating in the sense that his fears and worries are legitimate but no matter how "correct" he may be he doesnt have the right to take another persons autonomy as he sees fit. There have been many times in my life where I have feared for my friends' lives and in my mind id be like "why cant i just take care of you and make you happy" and the answer to that is bc theyre sentient human beings 🐴. I feel like tomas route doesnt address the dilemma of that as much as it couldve because i think its interesting... i know not everyone wants a lil ethics lesson or whatever but considering how in heart route hes forced to take responsibility for the shitty things he did i dont think this debate would be too out of place in diamond world. Ultimately how toma feels is understandable, combined with the fact that he trusts no one but himself and may be extremely paranoid... very interesting. But again his methods are unreasonable and just because his feelings are valid doesnt mean its rational and he took it too far...

i think diamond route shouldve explored his anxiety, why he is the way he is, and maybe heroine couldve helped him through being a less paranoid person, resisting his overcontrolling personality and letting her take some responsibility for herself as well bc shes a grown ass adult. And showing him that theres always going to be a better alternative such as just. Talking things out. BC SHES TOO MUCH OF A DOORMAT IM SORRY 😭😭😭 i dont mean to victimblame she didnt deserve anything that happened to her its just. Her dialouge is too flat it makes me angry.

[jolalibrary]

ix. not his place. not your place.

javier peña x dea f!reader | chapter nine of nowhere to run

chapter warnings: season three narcos spoilers. no use of y/n. use of a nickname. mentions of smut. feelings. angst. anxiety. ptsd. love thoughts. word count: 6.5k.

AN: sorry for the wait, I got really in my head about it all, but thank you to @yeyinde who listens to me ramble about my writing woes and also to the brilliant @guyfieriii who tells me things my brain won't let me believe.

dedication: i dont normally do dedications, but a special one to @thelightsandtheroses because her love for this has made me want to keep chipping away, even if i lost my way. thank you for being such a light.

You’d love to say that you'd been his the moment you had stood in his office. 

But you hadn’t. 

You fought losing yourself in his brown eyes more times than you’d like to count. 

Somewhere between his face being between your thighs and you riding him, you’d been sucked in—like a moth to a flame. 

You’d been able to peel back the thrown-up walls, while he’d been assessing how to take down yours. Until the two of you are both standing in rubble, staring at one another more bare than you have been in bed. 

“You have to work with Don Berna?” 

He’s looking at you, swiping his tongue across his teeth. Your heart falling in your chest. 

“Shit…”

“Indeed.”

The house of cards is floating down, haphazardly falling, ready to land and squash those who don’t get on the right side of it. You’re never sure if he is on the right side—not because of his past, but because they’re always one step behind. 

Chasing something, anything—everything. 

One thing away from finishing it, from drawing a red cross over another photo. 

It’s why you gnaw your lip, why your nail polish is picked off from your index, middle and thumb on the one hand, and one hand only. It’s what made you begin unravelling: the sight of your undoing evidence each time you stapled or picked up the phone. 

Because… you like him. 

Truly, like him. Could even, possibly, maybe love him. 

And it makes you want to plead. Beg him to move closer, at least. Close the gap. Let you clutch him. So much said, without words being spoken. A soft glance, warm eyes and a kind smile—both given and returned. 

“Don’t…”

But he does. 

Taking soft strides to close the gap, hand reaching up to take hold of your cheek. You know he can see the fear shimmering in your eyes. It sitting in the pools that you try to blink away. Hiding your anxiety, how much you want to protest but choose not to. 

You knew that was the thing with love, you could fight it, attempt to bury it, smother it in sex, whiskey and other destructive decisions, but it always cracked through. Always rose, standing in its flaming glory like a reborn phoenix. 

“Javi. Please…. Please don’t….” Die. Leave me.

“Not a fucking chance.” 

You let his forehead press to yours, eyes closing, managing to choke out, “Good.”

At some point along the way, before he’d gone to Cali, he had handed you a key to his place, and you had told him where your spare was. 

Easy, convenient. Practical. 

Those were the words you chose and the ones he leaned on. The two of you allowed them to be the reason you took the step, not because it made sense or felt right. 

Doing so allowed the two of you less rigid plans when it came to meeting. It allowed you not to rush as he sat outside your place, not needing to tap his steering wheel as you flicked lights on and off, dashing across your windows. It meant you didn’t have to wait to begin showering or cooking when it was time to be at yours. 

It also meant the two of you didn’t need to look in his mirror—just in case someone saw. Something he’s thankful for now, more than ever since your friends are back. 

In the days before the attempt to take down Miguel, it felt right to be in your possession for many reasons. Leaving his pocket—all heavy and meaningful—and finding a home in your palm. 

Because it also stood for something else. 

Just in case. 

The words linger, heavy and pulsing in the air. In case you need me for anything or shit hits the fan. 

Both of them are things they should keep an eye on and consider. It’s in the air, how dangerously close they all were—how things were in place, yet no clear direction paving its way. 

Then there was you. 

You who has shared all that you have with him, but won’t answer him truthfully when he asks if you’re okay. You save that for your nightmares. 

It’s another reason he handed you the key: a gesture, a promise: I’m here. So much so he hadn’t been sure how you’d react, watching you stare at it for a second before your fingers closed around it, and he felt able to breathe. 

Then you’d smirked. Is this in case I need your signature, sir? 

If his name hadn’t been shouted, he’d have congratulated you for it—slipped his tongue past your lips and tasted the coffee on your tongue. 

Instead, he spent the evening signing his name against you. First, your neck, then your collarbone, before he wrote over and over with his tongue between your slit—carving each letter, gripping your hips, controlling them as they tried to meet him. One of his palms flat on your stomach, making you wait—

Paciencia, he whispered. 

Blowing cool air over your soaked core, watching you write to wriggle, twisting yourself to meet him. Little pleas and begs leaving your lips, the same one that is more wit than honest. 

It was different. The way you two fucked. 

It had been for a little while, but that night it was noticeable, a shift ever present in the room—words sitting on the edge of his tongue as he captured kisses and swallowed your moans. 

He missed it when your nails didn’t slide down his back; he craved the way you looked at him before you let go. 

Things he hadn’t focussed on before, not with you or anyone else. 

Then, there’s the morning when he wakes to find you next to him. Sometimes asleep, sometimes just waking the same as him—sleep-filled eyes washing him in beauty, warmth, and a future that feels like he could have it. 

Though, Javi hadn’t expected to hear from you tonight—never mind seeing you. 

Had assumed that you’d be catching up with Van Ness, the two of you have clung to one another in the office—some part of you visibly snapping back into place before him. He’d have been jealous if not for how you iced out Fiestl—a smugness sitting behind his teeth as he nodded at the three of you before faking a reason to hide in his office. 

Your voice was barely a whisper when he picked up the phone, softly asking if you could come around—or whether he could come over. 

Something you never ask, which is why he’s there in record time, finding your spare and sliding it in. 

For saying usually, your door has a petulance for letting him in, the lock turns in with ease, greeting him with the darkness inside—all shadowed ornaments and streams of light from cars passing your window. Your curtains are limp, undrawn—not perfectly slid into their place as usual. 

Nothing seems as it should be, not even how your place makes him feel. Usually, it wraps warmth around him, all hopeful—swamped with happiness. Your home feels cold and withdrawn tonight—like it’s at a loss. 

The door clicks with a finality, placing the key inside the glass bowl with a chime, yet he doesn’t hear you call. Not a Javi, not a Peña. 

With each heavy step he takes, he expects light to blind him—your hand over the light switch, smirk so broad that his mind automatically takes a photo of it. It never happens. His hand moves for his phone, the other motioning for his gun as he passes the open kitchen, living room and bathroom door. 

His mind goes into overdrive, wondering if anything seemed out of place, if your voice had given anything away as he pauses outside the only one shut: your bedroom.

“Cariño…?” 

He considers knocking, tapping knuckles against wood as a warning, as a sign when he hears silence. But he twists the metal door knob in hand instead, opening it, expecting to find emptiness—made bed, cushions placed at the head. 

Javi finds none of that, removing his gun from his waistband to put on the side table—his phone following suit. 

Because what he finds instead is lit by the occasional headlight and the weak stream of the streetlight. Cold ochre shimmering across balled-up sheets, used tissues and the broken mess of a person at the centre. 

At first, he can’t tell if your eyes are open until a car slowly drives past—light reflecting from the walls and hitting your open irises. 

He says your name uneasily, each letting falling consciously from his tongue as he moves close to the bed. Only receiving the lowest hum back from the duvet and destruction.

The mattress dips, your body unmoving still as his fingers find the string of your bedside lamp. 

“I’m turning the light on—just need to see you.” 

He wishes he hadn’t. 

Black stains against usually manicured cheeks, tired, empty eyes staring into him—all forbidding as they wince and then land on him.

Javi knows shattered pieces typically cut skin, but his hand finds your exposed shoulder—coldness greeting him, sliding down the pads of his touch to his wrist and bones.

“Cariño.”

He says it differently, more a calling than questioning.

You blink, trying to erase your distress and pain—but it hangs all the same, like a banner, there all for him to see. 

“You came…”

His chest tightens, something falling from within as he releases a feeble breath. He knew, suspected it for a while, that you weren’t okay. Not pushing, not knowing if his words could be ones that could heal you. So he said nothing, let silence do its thing between the two of you, as his thumb brushed your cheek. Wiping across spilt grief and fresh tears.

“What…” 

You swallow it loud in the quiet—eyes furrowing before widening, as though hearing his words repeatedly.

He smiles, knuckles resting on your cheek, thumb stroking the edge of a smile he misses. 

“Talk to me, cariño. Please?”

More fall from your eyes, sliding down like rain droplets against dry cheeks and a sorrowful stare. If he could, he’d take it all from you. Urge the ball that clogs your throat to shrink—the one that lives inside you and has gotten matted with your soul. He’d do whatever you needed him to do. 

Your eyes fall from him, landing on a spot—darkness blooming over the colour as they unfocus. 

“I thought once you knew, it would feel easier. The same way I thought I’d be okay with seeing him back, Chris. Thought the distance would mean I didn’t hate him, but then I saw him and…” 

More fall in single file, orderly. 

Something tugging at the corner of his lips, because only you would have tears that fall in unison—that march down your cheeks and cut across your misery. 

“Did you know that I didn’t have a nickname before her? Luna—the moon. Said it was because I only came alive at night. The name was just for us—that name. Threatened to punch someone back in the States for using it.” 

Smirking, he watches as you blink. A river, cloudy with memory, scales down your face, tracing the outer edges of your nose and hanging expertly on your cupid bow. 

It catches—whatever comes next. 

Clings to the back of your teeth—rots on the tip of your tongue as he continues his ministrations on your cheek. Watching, studying—waiting for a cue, a mark. A sign. 

“…I don’t mind some, but there’s something about him using it that way.” 

You pause, the smallest of laughs slipping from your tight lips. “I wish you could have met her. She’d like you. You think I’m witty, but she was so much better at it. Barely needed to think. Always a retort—both in English and Spanish, always ready...”  

The last word hangs, syllables dancing until they run out of steam and are swallowed by silence. His knuckles pausing on your jaw, clearing his throat, finding your eyes flick up to him. 

They smother him in heaviness, so much so, it almost makes him crumble. The edges of him weakening, the knot in his chest that needs to make you smile constricting, wrapping further around his oesophagus— 

“She sounds wonderful,” he manages to say. 

Your face scrunching, a mix of agreement and anguish fighting in battle on who should show first—should prevail. 

“She was.” 

It wounds him to hold your stare, for the stinging edges of your grief to dig further into his spirit. Injecting more cause into his blood, more reason to keep fighting, pushing—hunting injustice until bars surround it.

When he blinks, he’s freed. Temporarily, but enough to think. To rest his palm under your chin, keep your eyes upon him.

“You think you can let me in, cariño?” 

His eyes flick down to the sheets, the duvet wrapped around you, trapped under limbs. 

It takes a second, one which spreads across space for far too long, but you nod. Shuffling awkwardly so a corner emerges—one he can lift and slide in. 

Your blouse is gone, but the rest of your work clothes still adorn your frame. Javi’s shirt rustles as he seeks to bring you comfort—to find a way to pull you close without forcing you to flee. 

“This okay?” 

It’s tinged with nerves—draping between you as he finds you still watching him. 

He'd have missed your nod if you were almost shoulder to shoulder. Only catching how the edges of white teeth bite down your bottom lip. Spotting the tremble before he sees the unmissable wobble as your eyes fill until they’re shimmering with a new wave that’ll crash down and coat them. 

“Cariño—“

“Lune.” 

He looks at you, takes it in. The look in your eyes, the way they burn unspoken emotions into him. 

“French, I know. She had to make an adjustment, claim it back before we left. She didn’t let anyone, not even Ch….him. But, I think she’d let you call it me,” you whisper, all hiccuped and difficult. 

Something unlodges inside of him, a thing which is determined to rid those two words. Because he suspects you’re thanking him because you don’t get this. Usually pushed, nudged to the edge until you devastate.

He kisses your hairline instead. Feeling you curl into him, head against his chest—and then he braces for the first shake, the eruption of shudders ripple from you to him. 

And he clings, clutching to root you here—to him, with him.  

“Javi…” 

His fingers continue sliding up and down, feeling soft skin as your breath flutters across his cheek. 

“Thank… thank you for coming over.” 

He smiles, spreading over his lips before he can hold it back, opening his eyes to face you. “I’ll always come, cariño.”

“Prometes?”

“Promesa, baby.”

Javi rarely dreams of the after. But he has begun to. 

You’ve stayed over at his place more often as of late. Easier, you’d tried to protest, and he never complained. 

The thoughts the dreams leave behind knock on him more frequently, especially when the darkness slides over the two of you, when you’ve gone quiet before soft shallow breaths fill the space in his room. It there, sitting on his tongue, wanting to ask:

What are you gonna do when it’s all over? 

A question which festers and burns—eroding a hole in his mouth and the back of his brain. It throbs more when he feels you curl against him, craving some form of touch before the two of you have to rise and pretend all over again. 

It’s why he likes it when you stay. When he can start the day with his palm on your cheek, lips slotted over yours. Pulling you flush against him as you whisper his name into the air—not tired of him, not even close. 

Because after it’s rushed, you need to do this or do that. The pretence needing to be kept up—him rushing to get in before you, more so now your friends are back. Fingers shakily doing his tie until you spot him in his kitchen, half-dressed, barely ready for the day, and your fingers smooth over his. Helping, shifting your hips against him as you loop his tie and knot it: the definition of a multitasker. 

Letting his eyes take you in, he lowers his hands to your hips. “You keep doing that, cariño, and we’ll undo your handiwork in a moment.” 

He likes the way you smile around him. 

How soft it is, the sharp edge you’d once purposefully wrapped it in, now gone. Faded. Vanished. 

“I could fuck you with your tie on, Peña.”

Javi knows that. Almost lets you prove it. Mouth opening to find words to say—

“You have a meeting, remember.” 

Gritting his teeth, jaw sliding to the side, he nods. 

Your fingers drop from the fabric as something sits in your eyes—a set of words that roll around that pretty head of yours he’s yet to decipher. 

“You think you’ll come here tonight?” 

Javi asks, hopeful. Not wanting to assume—not even with his spare on your keychain and most of your things in his bathroom. A smug look crosses your lips, making him leave ahead of you even harder. 

“I’ll be here. Prefer your water pressure than I do mine and the hands that come with it.”

He tortures himself by sitting in your lingering perfume on the commute. 

Fingers tapping on the wheel, thumb and index brushing in tight circles over and over as he parks his car, trying not to think of bubbles, water dripping down, you against the tiles. 

Like most mornings, he notes how dull the place is when you’re not around before he picks up the metaphorical weights he carries. The ones stuffed with expectations, getting it done—passing the board with the photos he can see when he blinks. 

Each minute until you arrive, the weight digs in. In the same way, it did before the night, he took you back—only being removed from his shoulders by your fingers and yours alone. 

It’s the relief you provide that makes him flick his eyes up as he hears someone arrive, casting a glance through the blinds—all on edge until he sees you. Until he knows you’re safe—something prickling, pecking at him that you’re not. 

It’s worsened since you told him everything. Since he saw you in the centre of your bed, all broken and at a loss. A part of him was angry with himself that he hadn't tried to take the weight from your shoulders, hadn’t noticed how close you had woven yourself, how unspooled you’d become. 

Worst of all, Javi wonders if there’s still a target on your back. Your face stuck up on some wall like the Godfathers are stuck on theirs, a thought easier to silence when you’re in sight. 

He knows it’s because he cares, feels things. It creeps into his chest, unwrapping, unfurling—spreading its vines until they loop around his muscles and bones. Making him feel so much it burns a hole in his tongue, in his heart—

“Morning,” you say, file in hand. 

His eyes lifting from the paper, watching you smile—body relaxing. 

Your words linger in the air, all innocent, airy as though you hadn’t said it to him already two hours ago. Fingers in his hair, nails scraping along his jaw as he rocked his hips into you, filling the air with breathy mornings and right there. 

He smirks, taking the file from you as you step into his office, beginning your usual morning rundown of his day, who has left messages, and what he hasn't done that needs handling. 

It’s not until you begin talking about having a meeting yourself, that he forces his head to look up from the file, does he take you in. Eyes dropping down your frame, not able to help himself, until—

“—so I have to go—“

“Is that my shirt?”

You pause, words dying on your tongue before you softly begin to smile. “How would I be wearing your shirt, sir?”

“Are you wearing my shirt, cariño?” 

Folding your arms, you shift your weight on the spot. His eyes scan behind you, spotting and noting that no one is within ear reach. Working out the probability of whether he has time to hook his finger in one of the belt loops of your trousers, pull you to him, shut the blinds and kiss you until your lips are swollen before duty calls. 

“If I were wearing your shirt, it would be because I ran out of time this morning to iron my shirt because someone needed assistance with their tie. So if this was yours, it’s merely being borrowed.” 

He swallows—something stirring inside of him. 

Because you’re wearing him, here. Out in the open, around their colleagues. He’d be able to look out of his window and see you dressed in him, marked in him. 

You’ve buttoned half of it, tucked it into the band of your trousers. His fingers want to trace the vest underneath the open buttons—take you in for a second, admire the way it’s styled so it looks less like him, and more like something new you’re trying with a pair of your trousers and heels. 

Your confidence falters; he watches it—how it wrinkles out over your face. “Wait…Javi, do you mind?” 

“Fuck no,” he says, more gruff. “Not one fucking bit. It’s just…”

“Just what?” 

He shifts his jaw, staring at you, tracing his eyes up and down your body—knowing how each curve feels, how your skin tastes. “I’m not going to be able to fucking concentrate.” 

“Wh… Javier Peña, do you like women wearing your clothes?”

“Not women. You.” 

You pull a face, smirking. “Well, that’s good to know.” His brow arches, watching something glimmer in your eyes. “Because you have quite an impressive shirt collection, and guess what I like?”

Tracing his bottom lip with his thumb, he tries to stop himself from tracing his eyes up and down you. Hearing people come in, the office slowly springs to life behind you. 

“What’s that, cariño?” 

You lean forward, allowing you to drop your voice. “Knowing to take it back, you’ll have to take it off of me—once I get to yours, tonight, that is,” you whisper, soft and breathy, a hint of silk to each of your words as they slide into his ears. “Have a good day, sir.” 

Failure was something he was being served more and more frequently.

This time, it was dealt to him when he’d allowed a part of himself to relax—to feel like they were close to a win—having gone from panicked to relieved when he felt Jurado’s wife against him.

Her all curled up, trembling. The scent of mud, sweat and something he assumed had once been perfume rotted into his nose as the jungle faded from view. 

It’s why he allowed her the comfort she so desperately needed, giving himself the chance to feel the joy that he had managed to fix the mess he’d caused by not thinking of every single option. 

Then, like grey clouds holding back her storm, there was a clap of thunder—Christina's eyes were then full of sorrow and fury, digging into him as though they were made of knives. Yet, it had been her words that did the slicing. 

It hadn’t meant a damn thing, not accounting for a single thing. All of it, from listening in on her and Jurado to now, a giant waste of fucking time. The phone call confirmed it.

He was dead. All that chasing, the jungle—

Javi had intended to cool down before he headed back to the office. It had all boiled inside of him, unable to think straight, that was until his eyes landed on you. 

Finding you at your usual spot, bent over, the low light making you squint. Your head lifts to glance at your screen before back down to the files on your desk, fingers rubbing at that spot on the side of your forehead—your tick, your tell. 

Then you lean back, hand brushing over your face before landing your eyes on him. At first, he watches you relax, relief flooding your expression—likely due to the fact that he’s safe. You'd been forthcoming with how much you'd been worrying.

Then, a smile. One that is quickly swallowed by concern. It amazes him how quick and astute you are—lifting yourself, grabbing something without taking your eyes off him as he approaches, nodding to Stoddard as you clear your throat. 

“Could—can I talk to you about a lead?” 

He nods, swallowing. He gestures for you to lead the way as he follows you into his office. It isn’t until the door closes, wrapping his arm across himself and playing with his other elbow, does he see you throw the file on the desk. 

“There’s no lead. I just… you looked like you needed to talk.” 

It's instant, the way he softens. Looking down, letting himself feel the calming wave you cast over him without knowing you even do it. 

The airport. The jungle. The call. 

He’s not even sure where to begin.

“She thinks I’m a piece of shit. That’s… that’s what she called me.”

Slowly, you move to the mini-table-turned-bar as you pour a glass—one for you, one for him.

“And maybe, I am…” You extend the glass, his hand taking it as he nods, running his thumb over the top. “I mean, I get tunnel vision—and I just have to….” 

He sighs, feeling you watching him, before it all comes out.

From the moment they reached the jungle to the airport. Your eyes not leaving him, likely seeing how easy it is for him to undo—how he’s coming apart, crumbling, pieces of him snapping off. The words keep coming and coming, the stress releasing a hold on his chest but doubling on his shoulders simultaneously.

It isn’t until he’s done, your silence, thick and loaded, does he even feel he needs to ask:  

“Y'agree with her?”

He has to ask, watching as you undo the thought. 

Studying your expression as he coats his tongue and lips in deep amber and misery. He used to drink to celebrate. Somewhere between Colombian takedowns and Escobar, it began as a way to stop himself thinking. Now, he’s unsure if it calms him, deafens things or just numbs him—or better, a concoction of the two. 

You lean against the wall, wrestling with your thoughts. He can see it—the thin line that appears between your brow and the way your fingers dance along the crystal glass. 

“I can… see why she’d think you were one.”

He takes a large sip, raising his brow. “Well... fuck, thanks.”

“You don’t—this doesn't work because I lie to you. We work because I’m great at feeding that self-deprecation you’re carrying around.” 

He smirks, snorting into the glass as he watches you take your first sip. Not hissing or scrunching—sipping it like it’s water. Suspiciously so.

He hears you step forward, closing the gap, placing your hand on his shoulder, nudging him to turn entirely towards you. “You’re a good person. The only time you’re a piece of shit is when you don’t do that thing with your tongue to me. She's hurt, Javi. Understandably, so.” 

He smiles, and you brush the sides of it with your thumb. 

Because he knows he’s experienced in non-committal fucking. Well-versed, almost excelling at it, until you. You who he wants the opinion of, the person who makes his world splinter and crack in the best way—more so when you dig your nails in, and he paints your walls in ropes of white. You are different. 

He's thought it since the beginning, when you barged in, all confident and smug. Now, it’s so much harder to ignore, to bury—to smother in other problems and issues. 

All of the realisation snapping inside of him, the walls he’s built coming down with ease, as your palm remains on his cheek—all intimate and full of care. 

“Starting to think you like me.”

“Get rid of that thought, sir. I merely tolerate you.”

“Liar.”

You blink, dropping your hand.

Holding your eyes steady, Javi lets the seconds add up, sliding into a minute. The air tightens with understanding as it rises like a slow tide threatening to pull you both under and drown you. Realisation twists and gnaws in your chest, not able to blink, not able to turn. 

He sighs, knowing it too. Releasing you, watching your head tilt before you roll your eyes, and then you’re moving to close the blinds—the office slowly fading from view before you approach the last turning so all he can see is you.

You who is looking at him with a mixed expression he hasn’t got the energy to decipher. Thoughts, suspicions, all rolling around his head, mixing horribly with the expression of Christina Jurado staring at him as he ended that call. 

“You do matter to me.” 

“Tell me you like me, baby,” he says, likely knowing that you're struggling for breath. 

Him doing the unspeakable—making a move, so off the board, he’s confirming neither of you is playing. Likely haven’t been for weeks. The signs were all there if you really looked, really focused on it. 

You smirk, shaking your head as you step back. “I like you, you know I do.” 

Hand slowly spinning the glass in your hand as you sink into the chair opposite his desk. Eyes staring into it, the amber sloshing from side to side. 

“I just…”

“Cariño…” your eyes look up, meeting him. “It’s different for me too.” 

You nod, biting the inside of your mouth as you rest your head on your palm—elbow digging into the arm of the chair. 

“What now?”

“What do you mean?” 

You scoff. “Well, do we stop?”

“Do you want to stop?”

“I want you to answer a goddamn question without asking another question. Because this is humiliating as it is.” 

“Having feelings for me that bad, huh?”

You smile, barely—but he notices it. “No. But, I—I’m not good at it—being with someone. Being in a relationship. I'll fuck up. I’m broken and…. without even fucking meaning to I'll—”

Sighing, he swallows. “Bonita… I don’t care.” His hand grips your cheek, tilting your eyes up to him. “I’m no good either. You deserve—fuck, you deserve far better than me, but I’m selfish, a piece of shit. So, I can’t let you go, so let's just call this what it is.” 

“You don’t know—“

“I do, cariño. I do.” 

Your eyes fill with tears, staring at him, unsure if you’re going to agree or push him away. That is, until your hand comes over his wrist, holding him—just like you usually do. 

Then, you turn him, so his frame hides you. Your lips press to his, kissing him as though you didn’t care. The two of you are now experts with both your tongues than words—able to articulate full-blown sentences with your mouths pressed against each other. 

Now, you're in his arms after all the sheer determination—after doing nothing but fighting him. The low light from the lamp casts a soft glow over you both, offering comfort, hiding how everything else around the two of you is burning. 

“I hate how good your cock is.”

He laughs, pressing his forehead against yours. “Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem.”

Strumming his fingers up and down your side, he smiles against the top of your hair. Letting the moment settle, the confessions being filed in a happy place in his mind. 

“Are you okay?”

“Now?” he asks, fingers toying with your hip. “I’m better.” 

For a moment, he just watches—takes you in. 

It goes back to the night in the bar when half of your face had been shrouded in mystery, and the two of you had gotten off on the wrong foot. If Murphy were here, he’d say it was typical Peña—somehow managing to fuck the woman who hates him. 

But then, you’d never really hated him, just like he hadn’t really ever found you difficult. 

“Let's sit,” you say, joining him on the sofa, the leather creaking under you. 

The silence is an odd comfort—so used to cracking under quiet, yet with you, he settles. 

No one to disturb it, the peace. No one was ringing or asking for him. 

Even the office outside has gone quiet. 

That one thought, which has been hammering and hammering, rises—bubbling at the top of the sea of shit he has to undo, answer for and deal with. 

“If you weren’t doing this, what would you be doing?”

It’s likely too deep for such a day. Knowing he should take the win that the two of you have agreed to be something more concrete than convenient fucking, but it falls from his tongue quicker than he can say I’m okay or let’s go. 

You think, eyes sliding to the corner as an array of expressions flash across your face. A frown to a relaxed smile, a shift of your lips to a soft sigh. 

“Not sure. Maybe run a coffee shop? A cafe. Want it to be a local place, lots of gossip.”

Watching you lick your lips, he lets himself take you in. A mental photo snapped, locked away in the vault he’s drafted just for you. 

“One of those places where either the coffee is good, but the cakes are bad, or the cakes are good, but the coffee is bad. Because I’m one person, y’know? I’m not fucking superwoman.” 

His fingers tease the edges of yours—wanting to keep you here, in this moment. Not step back out into the sound of phone calls and typing.  

“There would be this will-they-won’t-they with a local guy. He’d come in, and everyone would study our interactions and gossip about how long he stood at the counter.”

Smirking, you turn your head, confronting him with a wicked smile—a sight that makes his heart beat. 

“What about you?” 

Shrugging, he laces his fingers in yours. “Probably be on the ranch. With my dad. Helping. Do the good son thing, for a bit at least.” 

“Well, you can only do the good son thing if you’re good.”

Nudging you with his knee, he shakes his head. “Hey. I’m a fine, good rancher.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

He sneers. “Come see it, baby. I’ll show you all my moves.” 

You smile, and like this—after today—it’s something more stunning than he can find the words for. Not sure he’d ever be able to describe it, what it does to him—how it feels like an arrow has been shot into his chest, inflating his heart, making it grow twice as big. 

Licking his lips, he smiles wider—almost allowing it to spread to his eyes. “You open your cafe in my town. We’d be the talk of it.” 

“Because you already tried the buns.” 

“First thing I’d talk up.”

You laugh. Sweet and weightless. It flushes through him, easing the stress from his muscles. Basking in it, the momentary pause on the job, the mission—the reason. 

“I’d make sure a Catrina or a Mary would have overheard me telling people you’re good with a whip. Let them gossip.” 

“Oh, there’s actually three Marys, and I’m sure there’s at least two Catrinas.” 

Shrugging, you wink. “See, I’m fitting in already.” 

“Texas would love you.” 

“Texas would be quaking in its cowboy boots.”

“That too.” 

The two of you go silent.

All comfortable and nice. No thoughts rushing through him, no darkness ebbing in the corners—it’s like it is in the mornings. Where he can pretend the world outside isn’t Colombia but Texas. That his responsibilities are to make you smile and make sure a cow doesn’t crush his pop. 

You tap your fingers over his. “You okay?” 

“I don’t even fucking know.” 

“It’s okay if you’re not.” 

Turning his head, he meets your eyes, a little smile so effortlessly falling over your face. “I know.”

He moves, shifting so he’s closer, and you subconsciously move closer, letting your head find his shoulder as you take a deeper breath. 

“We could. I could.” 

You slowly look up at him, watching him stare off before glancing down. 

“It's not a lot, but you could make lemonade, and I could help my Pops do ranch shit. Live out our days in the field and between one another’s thighs.” 

“You’d get bored…”

“Of you?” he asks, shaking his head. “Never. I’m never tired of you, not even when you’re frustrating and annoying.” 

“You crave danger, Peña.”

He moves you closer, wrapping his arm around you to pin you close, dropping his mouth to your ear. “Guess we’ll have to begin fucking outdoors, see how far we go until we’re arrested for public indecency.”

“You drive a hard bargain.” 

His hand slides up your forearm, spreading warmth back through you. 

“Think about it, cariño. Yeah?” 

You swallow, nodding. “Would you wear a cowboy hat?”

He laughs, rich, light. “For you? Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll think about it, sir.” 

It’s you who interlocks your fingers with his, squeezing—like a version of a signature on a contract. 

“I didn’t ask. How’s your day been?” 

You snort, not moving—not even to look up or find his eyes, thumb sliding over his hand. “Why?”

“You always hiss when you first have a sip of whiskey. You didn’t earlier.” 

Then you move—eyes finding his, something in them he can’t read—a look he can’t place. Your own moving from one eye to the other as you swallow. 

“I may have helped myself to a glass… or two.” 

Placing his fingers under your chin, he lifts your face. “Talk to me.” 

“Just a bad day, that’s all.” 

“Cariño.” 

Rolling your lips, you sigh. “Can we just go home?” 

Nodding, he drops his hand from his nose, taking the glance balancing precariously on his knee as he drains it. It’s only when he feels the loss of you, hearing you mumble about getting your coat—and your bag, that you need to nip to a store on the way—does it come back to him. 

Home. 

You’d said home. 

Not his place. Not your place. 

His teeth bite down on the inside of his cheek, the softest twitch of his lips. One, that on another day, where it hadn’t felt like a complete fuck up, he suspects would be a smile, a real one. 

Fingers tap on your desk—hands you used to know, once upon a time. Lifting your chin, you stare at him. Chris. 

His face was all a mixture of annoyance and pleading, a sight you suspected didn’t mean good things for you. 

“You thought about it? Helping me.”

Your fingers pause on the keys. “If it involves me leaving this building, there best be a good reason you’ve even brought this to me. The shit I could get into—”

“I wouldn’t ask.”

You tilt your head. “Yes, you would.” 

“It’s for Van Ness, too.” 

Narrowing your eyes, you slowly stand. “We need a meeting room or a quiet space. I need—I need what you have. Photo, information.”

Chris nods, furiously so. “So, you in?”

Your head turns, glancing at the empty office—the one you’ve been staring at the entire time he’s been out of it. “I’m in for the debrief. That’s all I’m committing to for now.” 

AN: hope it was worth it!

[gamblersdoll]

ITS THE MATTER OF IT … chapter 4

tw: mentions of busts, nasty things.

for a better reading experience, please listen to the following songs “i will possess your heart” by chained to the bottom of the ocean and “kaizoku” by ibaraki on spotify, apple music, or youtube. enjoy!

your heart was racing, but not out of fear.

not by anxiety, but by defense.

“its been a while, y/n.” sukuna said, how could he say that when you havent even met him before? “its been a while since ive seen that face.”

so this is what he kind of looked like. tattoos on his face made yuuji look rugged. but if you had to ruin it, then oh well be it. you should arm yourself, you had thought to yourself. it seemed like sukuna already understood it.

“theres no need to defend yourself, i already said you wouldnt be harmed unless you provoke me.” he chuckled, getting closer and examining you. his eyes felt like he would’ve devoured you, like a damn maniac. he more than likely would have if it was his thing or not.

“the only thing thats changed is your tits.” he said amused. he eyed them, licking his teeth as if wanted to bite them. you wouldve felt your face get hot from the king of curses talking about it….

but you didnt.

“what is it.” you meant to sound like a question was being asked, but because of your tone and demeanor it sounded like you were talking at sukuna, not to. luckily for you, he didnt catch onto that, instead he looked happy that you were at least speaking.

“you know what,” sukuna paused, lowering his gaze. “you surely dont think that i was just making an appearance to say hi, do you? or do you not believe you are the reinca-“

“–i am not some reincarnation!” you growled out, cutting him off. that shouldve been a mistake on your end, but for some reason he didnt care. “im just … me.” you trailed off.

“you look the same way you did a thousand years ago, little one.” he chuckled, practically in your face. you bet he only smelled decent since yuuji was decent with hygiene. “whether you like it or not, you are. eventually, youll grow happy that you are— or maybe just comfortable with the fact that you and i…” he took his finger and pointed back and forth between himself and you.

“we have history. whether the memories or knowledge comes to you, we do. and there isnt anything you can do.” he laughed, his pearly whites on display and he put his hands on your shoulders. “now that you are here though…”

“why didnt you say anything back then.” he asked, when the fuck did he have you cornered? this was bad, real bad.

“yes, because i completely remember what exactly happened during a thousand years ago.” you sarcastically said, rolling your eyes. “remind me of what happened with–“ you made air quotation marks with your fingers, “me and you?”

“we were close, you had feelings i guess yaddy yadda yadda.. you developed hanahaki disease, you died.” sukuna recalled, growing sarcastic as well. “why didnt you say anything to me?” he asked, growing serious again.

“realistically speaking, if i were to admit my feelings to you, you either wouldnt care, youd laugh in my face while laying down with another woman, or would just kill me and move on with your life.” you said in a matter of factly tone, he was a cursed spirit after all.

could he even experience love like emotions at all?

“you could be wrong, considering how strong you were before.” he said, which made your ears ring.

did this motherfucker call you weak?

“are you saying im weak?” you asked, planning to make a move, which could result in sudden death or a missing limb if he felt forgiving.

“not exactly, but since you are reincarnated, we never know if youre rusty or your strength depleted.” he said, taking several steps back. “if you land a blow on me, ill take back what i said, and ill settle with any conditions you may have for me.”

“and if not, then you have to accept that you are what people say you are, and youll have to work under me.” he said—

a challenge.

and a challenge that granted you authority in some areas.

…

…..

……

a challenge that seemed unrealistic!

you had been working your ass off to land a blow, not even bothering to use your domain. you were simply out of breath, your hair a mess from the constant movement.

“this isnt the beginning of you, y/n.” sukuna had said with his hands in his pockets. he was certainly worried you had lost your abilities over a thousand years, but he also thought you were always a teasing woman.

come on, y/n, think.

think, goddamnit, think!

would it.. work on him?

you ran towards him knowing he would throw his hit first—

until black particles floated in the air, forming in the shape of the human skeleton. sukuna’s eyes widen, focusing on the black matter in-front of him, bringing its fist back to throw a punch—

until he realized that you were also landing a blow into his abdomen, now having to deal with a blow in the face but also in his beloved stomach.

a reversed curse technique, is what made you, you. you could separate your soul from your body into black matter, allowing the soul to fight with you, along side of your original body. making you somewhat immortal, only in certain circumstances would it kill you.

only one knew of this technique… only one had done it successfully a thousand years ago, against sukuna, and won.

sukuna had looked away and spat, laughing at nothing. you had landed a blow– two matter of fact. he then looked at you, and smiled.

“what do you feel?” he asked, he knew you had to have felt it, too.

deja vu.

“ive… been here before.” you admitted, watching him smile the wicked grin he carried.

———

“so… what did you tell him?”yuuji asked, eating his burger on your bed that you specifically told him not to do. he had laid down plastic wrap around him though to not ruin your satin silk bedding, which you’d appreciated.

“he doesn’t cause mass destruction, him not killing anyone unless necessary, and how hed teach me some things since i had won.” you said, eating a chicken philly. yuuji had since learned you loved them, occasionally eating steak philly but preferring chicken. so, the boy had brought you one. what a sweetie.

“oh! well.. thats good— hey i think we should sleep, since nobara had planned for us to hang out tomorrow all day.” he reminded, getting up and leaning down to hug you.

when did you both decide to start hugs, was beyond you.

“goodnight!” yuuji said, waving at you and you only replying with a “night.” made him smile. only when he reached his bed was when it went down hill for him…

or uphill?

“can you please stop talking about it?” yuuji asked sukuna, sukuna had decided to breakdown what had happened with you and him. but sukuna was infact a perv— of course he was, hes a curse!

“you dont look at y/n and think about how deep you could go in that–“ yuuji had cut sukuna off,

“stop it!” yuuji had growled out at him, only causing sukuna to laugh uncontrollably at his little outburst. “shes more than that!”

“well of course she is, but you gunna sit here and tell me you wouldnt tap that?” sukuna had asked, growing curious. yuuji had stayed quiet, ignoring the question until he thought about you.

the way you said his name, the way you walk, how you didnt take anything, the way you eat…

the way your shirt would tighten around certain areas of your body, the length of your legs. he had let out a frustrated sigh. he would feel bad if he did anything like that to the thought of you, like he was the biggest perv in the world…

but did you think like that about him, too?

honorable tags: @lisaaannna @coldbreadbouquetworld all reposts and shares are appreciated to see more of my work!

…

…..

(chapter 2 of “THE WARM THE COLD THE SIX coming soon!)

[bloomingdayswithyou]

Heyy, how are you? İ saw your requests was open so here i am 🧍can i request a hongjoong fluff or hurt comfort type of thing?? Im studying animation and game design in uni but i dont feel like i belong here. Finding motivation was always hard for me but its worse than ever in uni and my depression isnt helping either haHa- like for a while i stopped eating properly, not sleeping more than a few hours in a day and always do oil paintings, kinda locked myself home alone and cant find any strength to do something.

İf you cant write its alright tho!! Love you and your works <3

Guiding Light

Pairing: Hongjoong x gn!reader

Warnings: none, just angst with a good ending<3

Word count: 646

Author’s note: hi!! thanks for the request🤍 honestly I’m kind of going through something similar and just wanted to say that you’re not alone in this even though it might seem like it. Wishing you strength and healing on your journey as you pursue game design and animation or whatever you feel is right for you. 🌸

You sat alone in your small apartment, staring at your computer’s screen which displayed a few unfinished assignments. The room was dimly lit, mirroring the haze of emotions that consumed them. The weight of depression and anxiety had become almost too much to bear, leaving you feeling lost and disconnected. Hongjoong had noticed the subtle changes in your demeanor over the past few weeks. As he knocked softly on the door, his heart filled with concern for the person he cared deeply about.

"It's me," Hongjoong called out gently, hoping to offer some comfort in your darkest hour.

Slowly, you opened the door, your eyes reflecting a mix of sadness and relief at seeing Hongjoong's caring face. "Hey," Hongjoong said softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. "I brought something for you." He held out a cup of warm tea, knowing it could be a small source of comfort. You took the cup with a weak smile, grateful for Hongjoong's presence. You settled on the couch together, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light around you.

"You know," Hongjoong began gently, "everyone faces moments when they doubt themselves or feel overwhelmed. It's okay to have those feelings. You don't have to be strong all the time."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you couldn't help but spill your emotions to Hongjoong. You shared your struggles with finding motivation, your fears of not belonging, and all of the other burdens that seemed to weigh you down. Hongjoong listened attentively, his heart aching for you. "You're not alone in this," he said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I'm here, and I care about you so much."

He pulled you into a warm embrace, creating a safe space where you could let your emotions flow freely. Hongjoong's presence was a guiding light in the darkness, offering solace and understanding.

"Sometimes, we need to take a step back and breathe," Hongjoong continued. "And it's okay to ask for help when we need it. You don't have to carry this burden alone." You clung to him, finding comfort in his words and his unwavering support. You realized that you didn't have to face your struggles alone, that Hongjoong was there to walk beside them every step of the way.

With Hongjoong's encouragement, you began to open up about how you feel with animation and game design, the dreams that had once fueled your creativity. Hongjoong listened with genuine interest, reminding you of the talent and potential you possessed.

"You are meant to be here," Hongjoong said firmly. "Your art and your creativity are unique and special. Don't let anyone or anything make you doubt that."

As the night wore on, you felt a glimmer of hope reigniting within you. Hongjoong's words acted as a balm to your wounded soul, soothing the ache of self-doubt and depression. "I'm here for you," Hongjoong said, brushing away a tear from your cheek. "And we'll get through this together. Your art, your dreams, they matter. And so do you."

In the days that followed, Hongjoong stood by your side, offering unwavering support and encouragement. They started to find motivation in your passion once again, your creativity slowly returning like the first rays of dawn after a long night.

As time passed, your art flourished once more, fueled by the newfound strength and love you had found in Hongjoong's embrace. Through the darkest of storms and the brightest of days, you held onto each other, knowing that with Hongjoong by your side, you could weather any storm and find the courage to embrace your dreams once more.

.

.

.