#dont know till you try
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[reverse entry AU]
so glad the work week is over!
no more meetings!
what do you mean its only tuesday.
#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#reverse entry au#isat modern office au#isat spoilers#<- not REALLY but its blink and u miss it tbh#and is hardly legible#and probably doesnt make much sense as a spoiler for regular isat tbf#its more of a spoiler if u know the spoiler from isat to begin with????????#i think i am starting to confuse myself on if this is really a spoiler ASFASDAFRA#inspired by my week so far thumbs up#sometimes u end up in too many meetings about the same subject and wonder why you are even here#proceed to zone out till hear key words#tune in and respond#then continue zoning out#omg just like beloved indie game in stars and timeeeee#for legal reasons that is an exaggerated explanation to further enhance the joke thumbs up part 2#alternative takes that build on this same idea include#staring at computer screen in general trying to remember what you were doing#or silently judging a computer program for freezing on you for the seventh time in the past twenty minutes#or just staring blankly at the screen in general as people do yanno thumbs up part 3#oh also to note yea this is not in the office lmao#modern times means sometimes you also get to have wfh days yippeeee so siffrin is in his apartment#the star is probably sitting in the kitchen next to the flavor tree at this moment in time dont worry about it aha#WAIT i just realized i forgor the shine in siffrins eyes OOPS#actually wait nvm this is fine it adds to this i think HAHAHA#okay tag talk over !!!!
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Chakotay????? A boring character?????
#what show have you been watching?#im trying some voyager podcasts but no luck up till now#had one who kept on whining about harries emasculation like. i get the frustration with his story arcs revolving around failed relationships#but that doesnt mean hes less of a man? that sounds like a you problem#and the chakotay thing i dont even know where to start but that seems a fairly common complaint about him?#that hes just boring?????#and i mean i have to keep in mind that i consumed 7 years of television in two months so i do actually still remember his origin#and all that backstory from s1 and 2 but come on#boring?????#thats my son youre talking about
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"Listen, I love seeing you get into it after the whistle, too, man. Because you'll throw down—Like, you and [Steven] Stamkos went at it... you been going at it with a lot of different guys, but Evan Bouchard—" "I'm not tough! I'm not tough! No! I felt bad about that, man..." "I gotta ask about the chokehold, though! With Evan and he's like tapping out! Is he making any noises? Do you even know that he's in a compromised position? That maybe he can't breathe or whatever? What was going through your mind when this happened? And what was your reaction when you saw it afterwards?" "Yeah, I mean, listen some guys like to keep up the persona... I'm not the toughest guy in the league, I'll never claim to be that. I don't fight often. I haven't—I don't think I did last year at all, but I do believe in protecting yourself. You know, I saw Barkov get hit, and it was pretty dirty hit in my mind—in the moment, right?...before and after replay, and stuff like that. You understand the league made the right call, and what not... But, I see him, he's vulnerable, he's one of their better players, one of our better players on the ice, that was all it was, right? Just grab him and do something. You know, I felt bad about it, I apologised to him in the handshake line on the way out, right? It's all part of the game."
"What did he say? 'No problem'?" "'Go fuck yourself!'" "No, he said, 'All good, no issue.' I'm sure I'll get hit from behind next year or something so..." "'See, I got 45 points in playoffs...'" "Hey, but I'm with ya! I said it at the time! The Draisaitl hit on Barkov—Like, he knew what he was doing, he went straight through his head...I don't know..." "It's—No doubt, no doubt." "...In regular season he's probably getting suspended. You know, if that's the regular season..." "Yeah, and you know what? It all ended well, and Barkov was fine so... the league made the right call obviously, right?" "Yeah..." "Whatever...but when Max Domi—years ago...and he's kind-of like pressuring you, pressuring you, and you're like, 'What?' And you didn't get your guard up and he catches you with one...he catches you right in the jaw, you ate one! Were you thinking afterwards like, 'Man, I know I'm drawing a penalty here, but I gotta protect myself so I don't eat a fucking punch again like this, and set myself back with concussions'?" "Yeah, that obviously taught me a lot about protecting myself, for sure. For sure. You'd rather be the first one in there than the last one so...Yeah, it's not about dropping the gloves or anything, but getting your guard up and—definitely being the first guy to separate yourself, I think, is important. Yeah, I mean, that's all I'm gonna say about that."
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
hey diddle diddle the cat with the fiddle...
"im not tough im not tough noooooo i felt bad about that man 😣😣🫣" dear god our players are acting like theyre not war criminals...ekky notoriously not a fighter hes just here for a fun time its not his fault he manages to get involved in every single scrum and starts ragdolling bodies guys
#aaron ekblad#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#i cant believe we got ekky to talk about the sasha hit...oh my god OH MY GOD#ekky absolutely resolute in his own conclusion but then trying to be as neutral as possible when talking about the way the league handled i#babygirl has his job on the line#“it was a dirty hit” “he aimed straight through his head” “if it was regular season it wouldve been a suspension”#“but also the league made the right decision at the end of the day ig”#i felt that “whatever” in my soul i went oh yeah im sure ekky#i know its your job or whatever to not light this league on fire but i dont have the same qualms the league shouldve been harsher :)#your feet left the ground dont “im not someone who plays wanting to injure” me :)#that may be true at other points in time but in that fucking moment your intent was to injure#i thought id be over this by now but no im still very much not#im still gonna be fucking petty over this shit till the day i die you hear me#do you ever think about ekky essentially admitting he felt so antsy that it pushed him to do something he later regrets because he just fel#so powerless and wanted to regain an ounce of control back in a 1 for 1 nightmare scenario#he talks a lot with his hands so yeah it is certainly something to see him start to fiddle with them as he starts to remember the sasha hit#this is just a fascinating study on ekkys habits and mannerisms when he starts to feel restless#also whyd you have to whine out the “im not tough im not tough noooooo”#man haunted by his past sins but would do them again if it mean sasha would be okay by the end of it#or however that goes
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ive been noticing another influx of bots, so Friendly Reminder! if you have an Untitled blog with a Default Icon! you will be blocked without mercy!
#either change your icon to Literally Anything or put something in the title#even if its just 'im real' or 'pls dont block me'#literally any sign that you're not a dreaded bot!#ill be doing that Later so! if you have not changed your icon and/or title!#CHANGE IT OR IM BLASTING YOU TO THE PHANTOM ZONE#rambles from the bog#i dont have the time or energy to triple the time spent blocking by checking for likes/following#and you know what? im trying to preserve tumblr culture till this site actually dies
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I'm comparing xuanji and tantai jin right now in how they handle their "innocence" about romance (just cause they don't feel emotion generally)
Xuanji: completely oblivious, WOULD grab sifengs boner while dropping in on him naked in a bath and DOES NOT care. He's her great friend! And he's fun to make blush! Will also be the first to kiss HIM. Again, she's not really sure why or that it means EONS to sifeng emotionally. But she is glad to be with her friend and it seems fun uvu
(Xuanji later will go onto top her babe but that's later, I'm talking the early parts when she isn't feeling things much)
Tantai jin: I am SCANDALIZED you would touch me. I know you're my WIFE but as my wife you tried to sleep with me to lock me into marriage and I was disgusted by how fucked up and cruel you were so I put you to sleep. Do NOT strip me, don't even look me up and down. I don't have lust or any particular romantic feelings for you, it's not like I'm abashed of sex as I AM an adult who got married and know the fucked up palace shit of behind closed doors. BUT I am repulsed by the idea of being near you, especially naked and sharing that experience with YOU agh, so I Am going to continously insist on Being chaste. Maybe one day I'll want to rail someone, like you said when I feel "love" for someone or whatever maybe... but lmao not your awful ass
Also tantai jin, seeing a demon kiss qingyu: huh... evil powers cool I should eat her. It'd be nice if I could eat humans for power too. Huh... that kind of looks enjoyable? Maybe I'll try making out with someone I don't dislike. (Thinks about his wife who feeds him and would die for him, but there's baggage so he just moves on)
A few eps later: actually... like... would it be Too Fucked up? If I just... DID make out with my evil Wife who wants to kill me? I mean... a kiss is a kiss if it feels nice does it matter if we kill each other later? What if she sat on my lap! What if... I was held in her arms... <3 (no! Focus! She'll betray me! We can only have sex if she's my prisoner or something so she doesn't stab me or sell me out while we're naked!)
#love and redemption#till the end of the moon#tteotm#lb#xuanji#tantai jin#i just. 1 I LOVE how xuanji is actually the forward one unashamed and unworried about physical stuff#while sifeng is the blushing virgin concerned with propriety and feelings and STEPS etc. but love is SERIOUS in his sect#2 i LOVE how tantai jin has same vague Starting Setting as xuanji#but tantai jin IS socially aware of sex and romance enough to know he does NOT want#his evil bitch of a wife who whips him to ever try getting intimate with him#xuanji is both more innocent and naive in that she doesnt KNOW what it means#but also way more like I WOULD BE UP FOR RIDING SIFENG. SOUNDS FUN#and sifengs like NO babe STOP you shpuldnt unless youre in love and married!!! NO DONT RIDE HIM INSTEAD DONT#JUST APPROACH STRANGERS YOU DONT KNOW IF THEYRE NIDE#like if xuanji knew what sex was and had fun doing it shed have done it all the time asap#and she DID do it once she knew what it was lol#meanwhile tantai jin knows what it is but his life is so fucked up he cant imagine it being a#positive experience#(great i made myself sad :c)#anyway i love xuanji
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ouaaaaaghhh i've been on a bit of a pokemon binge lately......... i should crack open my old pokemon games and take a peek at my teams :,) i wish i still had my old copy of conquest and black 2 though............ :(
#gu6chan's musings#im so sad because literally ALL my pokemon games i've had as a teen i still have#up to sun and moon which i got on christmas when i was NINETEEN lmao!!!#but yeah pokemon was technically my first fandom ig???? i used to watch my brother play pokemon yellow and crystal a lot when i was TINY#but i never ACTUALLY played pokemon or video games in general myself until my older sister surprised me with my first video game console#and video game when she came up from florida 😭 a black dsi with pokemon black; i was 13 and my dad HATED her for it like 'Why are you#giving her videogames??? she's a girl :/' BUT I HAD IT!!!! MY FIRST EVER POKEMON GAME THAT BELONGED TO MEEEEE#i loved the SHIT out of that game and then got black 2; soulsilver and platinum; pokemon conquest; got the 3ds games...#i still have platinum/soulsilver as well as all the mainline 3ds games i believe#but conquest; black; and black 2 i lost :( literally my FAVOURITES i took them everywhere with me (which is why i lost them lmao)#funny enough i know exactly where black 2 IS though; its in the pocket of a jacket i owned but lost back between 2013-2014???#if i find the jacket it will 100% be in there; i just couldn't find the jacket and tbh idek if its still around anymore or is in storage#but if it is!!!! i'll literally cry lmao#black 2 is where i got my first level 100 pokemon; a magneton....... i ADORED that little bastard ouaaaghh....#i dont believe i ever managed to get past the league in black 2 though bc i remember being so pissed i couldnt get to see the other side of#the map beyond castelia city lmao#14-15 years old and i STILL didn't believe in stat moves 😭 i deserved to get shot#But fun fact: I DID get a new copy of Black a few years back!!! only it 1. already had save data on it and 2. it was full of rare/hacked#legendaries young me could only ever DREAM of having so i can't get myself to restart the save data even though i rlly want to.......#oh but funny enough!!! i also still have the 14 y/o dsi i was gifted back then; it still works though the battery cover is missing so you#have to hold it lol#but aaaaa so many fond memories of playing black and black 2... black 2 especially since i never really got to finish it lol#like#i finished the main CAMPAIGN with plasma and ghetsis trying to fucking kill you and all that (Something which i remember being so :0!!!?!?!#when i first saw it omgggg its such a clear memory aaaa) but i think like#i got up to the league and could never beat it........ so i just went back to training my mons till i got a level 100 magneton lmao#so many good memories; i hope i can get copies of black 2 and conquest again someday...
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need to get a metaphorical flag that just says IM TECH LITERATE on it to wave around
#i swear to god. why does everyone think gen z is tech illiterate#actually thats kinda correct. ive had to teach people how to save documents before.#but not meee i know how computers work.#and if i dont know. i just ask my dad. or like. google it.#cant wait till i start working and have people by default try to explain how computers work to me#also genz sucks at writing. apparently???#i think i write kinda mid but then every adult EATS it up like its candy#its wild like ??? ? ?? is this really that good???#and then i read what my friends are writing and im like. oh. ohhhhhh.#thank you final fantasy xiv and its usage of big words#i think its great a lot of genz stereotypes dont really apply to me. like idk what the rest of us are doing but im chilling.
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lol Clark Gregg being the villian this season, you'll always be the failhusband of two Christines to me but sure little buddy, keep trying to be serious & scary
#i know he has some bland copypaste Agent America MCU character that he thinks launched him as a serious actor but i dont buy it#'i see he enjoyed the classics... me i prefer murder mysteries' jeez louise give it a rest and go back to the hot topic you crawled out of#snowpiercer#see i give daveed diggs crap for how bland his character is but its mediocre writing across the board#lol when he said 'put that down or youll get shot' i said 'boom' to myself bc characters never have courage in those situations#but then Till actually did keep trying and got shot lmao aw my lil Lesbian Cop(tm) continuing her growth arc#dani talks about tv
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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i dont think I should have to explain how it's fucked up to tell someone with bpd, someone with an already unstable sense of self, that they're not themself and try to insist you're them instead. I feel like that's pretty self explanatory actually
#i wonder what excuse they came up with to treat me like this. that so many people keep enabling them to treat me like this too.#vent#i mean at this point if they're still trying to harp on the situation (i wouldnt know i dont keep up with them.) im assuming they're blamin#me for every type of abuse under the sun so that suddenly makes however they treat me okay or something#person reading this that doesnt believe me: imagine for a second im telling the truth. now look at their actions.#you really think thats a normal non abusive person? ya fucking sure? you sure they wouldn't act that way to someone close to them too#if they're so confident about acting that way about someone else bc they know they can say anything to justify it?#personally its a huge red flag when someones convictions and morals go completely out the window when they want to hate on#someone. like you're anti rape till you hate me. you're anti invalidating trans ppl until you hate me. you're anti punitive justice#until you hate me. idk but to me that just tells me you were never progressive and your progressiveness is conditional.#its more of a 'manners' thing for you rather than actual morals.
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Fun fact you're like a lab rat to me wrt my OCs. You're the only one without any spoilers. I mean you probably figured out what ☁️⚡️ is but I haven't told you explicitly
Also there's this story I'm developing that I think you'll really like but it's still so fresh I haven't even finalized the designs ahfjdjskfjkdjfkf
I'm going to respond to this properly tmr when it's not 10 pm and I'm passing out as I type, but for now I can't help but say that no I still don't know what any of the emojis mean still
#any time you use the emojis i gloss over them#i just go “ oh hes talkin about the ocs again” and read the rest of it without any specific OC in mind instead of trying to figure out#which ones which#i could figure it out and am going to try to now but till now i just didnt pay attention to which emojis you used lol.#i knew each emoji was a different oc but i just assume “ i dont know which ocs these are so ill just read the rest and be clueless who hes#even talking about“#now though i am going to try to figure them out esp these twk#two#oc posts#asks
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Now we're nearing the end of my move (fucking finally) i can safely say that if i had not had the Song of Salvation on repeat for large stretches of time during this i do not think i would've made it through as well as i have
#jay talkin#like not to be dramatic but i really needed that damn song to grab my hand and pull me up so i could keep packing and tidying and going#obviously the support of my fiance means so much more than that and without him i do not think i would have made it thru this#in any kind of state at all. he's my world. but also yeah that song kept me going#its the specific kind of hope it brings that isnt a very sunshiney everything will be ok hope#but moreso ok. i know you hurt. i know you've had enough. but come on one last time lets go#bc you HAVE to keep picking yrself up snd going 'ok one last time' over and over till u dont have to do it anymore#and thats just. what i did. my body is a mess now my legs and arms keep giving way#cuz more than a month straight of this has exhausted me and exacerbated my prexisting conditions#but i made it through and im nearly done. and this song helped immensly#last time smth helped this much is when i was watching texas chainsaw massacre every night to be able to sleep#it was like the only soothing thing i cld latch on to. felt familiar and safe. got me thru some rough shit#now S.O.S has done much the same. thank u dethklok i suppose#feels kinda corny ey but idk. idc anymore S.O.S and AOTD in general has been a salve on my brain lately#grabbing nathan forcefully. my fucking favourite fuckhead o how u have helped in these trying times
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The breakdown is gonna hit
#I avoid things till I HAVE to#and atp where I’m too dysphoric to be a girl in customizable games#hm.#ANYWAYS#got cyberpunk from my brother#Jackie Welles….the man that you are….#I don’t wanna be a corpo but corpo storyline in my head….#I’m a street kid 💪🏾#I started as a female nomad but. dysphoria#Jackie i cant save u…#I don’t think u understand that I’m mourning#I’m saving for a laptop#and i need a Jackie lives mod#GOD#I told my brother that u can call and try to talk to Jackie and he was confused#LIKE BABY THATS NOT THE FIRST THING U THOUGHT OF?!#and i cant even be sentimental or sappy on that. call#I want a burst into tears option#dude i dont play games that much so I’m not used to the loveable die first character#I got attached in those 7 hours#yes im on easy mode and it took 7 hours I have bad aim I can’t drive and I didn’t know how to loot#yes this is after doing nomad for 5 hours#leave me alone#anywayyyys#I walk into a bust and expect Jackie behind me 💔#the npcs are useless but like he still put work in#OMG WAIT HE DID PUT WORK IN FR#if u did a silent takedown on one person Jackie would do it on the other and his shots did do some damage that’s more than k can say for#other helpful npcs?!#misty is black now that’s a earthy baddie
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Augh
#ive been through ten high schools they start to get blurry no point planting roots cause your gone in a hurry my dad keeps two suitcases#packed in the den so its only a matter of when i dont learn the names dont bother with faces all i can trust is this concrete oasis seems#every time im about to despair theres a 7/11 right there each store is the same from las vegas to boston linoleum isles that i love to get#lost in i pray at my altar of slush yeah i live for that sweet frozen rush *slluuurrpp* freeze your braiiinnnnn swim in the ice get lost in#the pain happiness comes when everything numbs who needs cocaine freeze your brain freeze your brain go on and freeze your brain#care for a hit? does your mommy know you eat all that crap? not anymore when mom was alive we lived halfway normal now its just me and my#dad were less formal i learned to cook pasta i learned to pay rent learned the world doesnt owe you a cent your planning your future#veronica sawyer youll go to some college and marry a lawyer but the skys gonna hurt when it falls so youd better start building some walls#freeze your braainnnn suck on that straw get lost in the pain shut your eyes tight till you vanish from sight let nothing remain freeze your#brainnnn shatter your skull fight pain with more pain forget who you are unburden your load forget in six weeks youll be back on the road#when the voice in your head says your better off dead dont open a veiiinnn just freeze your brain freeze your brain go on and freeze your#brainnn try it bum bum bum bum
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people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh
#not like it makes a practical difference considering i only upload twice a year at best#but im realising how much my writing is shame motivated and its just not sustainable or healthy#it saddens me that these stories i invested So much time and effort into will probably never get finished#i wanna hold out hope that they will but#i dont want anyones expectations to be too high#bc knowing myself they probably wont#i started wgoin thinking that this would be the story i commit to finishing and not just abandon as soon as i get bored#but that was before i had really realised how my brain works#and for a while writing these chapters have felt very forced#gbgb had a much better run till it crashed and i was just unable to pick it back up#tbh that one could potentially still be saved bc of how open ended it is if i get any inspo for it back whatsoever#bc it had no strict plan i was entirely making it up as i go#and im realising thats how i write best. i tried to plan wgoin so id commit to finishing it but im realising that has the opposite effect#if i plan anything too thoroughly writing it becomes like gnawing on lead#cause i got all the dopamine out of the idea already#i write best when i have nothing but a vague idea or a vibe#gbgb crashed bc i ran out of vibes and ideas but if i find any again who knows#there is the possibility where i scrap the plan i had for wgoins entire plot and make the rest up as i go#which i might try purely bc i love the story sm#and i think i enjoyed writing it most back in the first three parts where i Was making it up as i went#which is why im saying indefinite hiatus instead of discontinued#bc there is hope for them. just not. much#so if u stick around maybe follow me on ao3 if u dont wanna see all my posts n just my stories#maybe in 3 years time youll see another wgoin notif or sumn#sorry to the small but dedicated handful of readers who really loved these fics#i wanted to write more for you guys bc ik its hard to find this kinda fic anywhere else; its why i started writing it#but i am but one unmedicated autist w severe adhd. we r working on the unmedicated part tho#ive learned so much abt how my brain functions now n how to make the most of it tho#i told myself id finish any new writing before i post it. so know anything new Will be complete :3#mischiefing time
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day 3 went from "its soooo over" to "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO"
not that i have a schedule but i am proud that i am fighting against anxiety by shoving myself into situations to get some work done
#snow speaks#work log#like morning was awful and was very humbling (rusty as hell knowledge)#and i was like 'man i may as well just give up now since i dont have a schedule#but told myself YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE GOING TO TRY AND DO SOMETHING#so i went back and asked for things to do and :) i did good.#i think maybe its bc i wasnt as intimidated#but it went ok!! i learned more things !!#and i actually felt like i wasdoing something so that was great alskjdafh#and also had a moment of 'AH YEAH THATS WHY IM HERE I FORGOT......'#this is a constant struggle this dreams gonna either kill me or im going to kill it#the main problem is~ i dont like this stuff so none of this material sticks for me#so most times this knowledge is over my head but i have some recollection askdlajfhh#just wait till i get to a specialty that i actually like#then ill just be shouting answers excitedly like a little toddler LMAO#youll see ....#just 23 weeks (barfs)
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