#dont give them the benefit of the doubt

[uramitashi]

when my friend implies a boy we know is a misogynist, i still have the impulse - you know, to defend him. To say "he's actually not that bad as a male, he's one of the good ones!"

i used to do that all the times when i was younger; i learned it from my mom. I remember being 12 and asking my mother why, why those nude photos of a girl my age circulating are embarassing for her? Why is it not embarassing for the boys who look her up? And my mother having to explain to me, men don't care about you as a person that much. Men will masturbate on the photos of 12 years olds - you included. I remember asking but is dad too? but is my brother too? how can i trust them if they are like that? and with an almost offended frown, she'd snap at me with an oh, but not all men are like that! Why would you even think that?

Growing up, she would do it all the time. Boys being pigs and my female classmates being groomed were just me exaggerating, me acting too much like a radical feminist instead of a normal one.

My mother has hated, without fail, every single one of my boyfriends. She would always remark that i am way, way better than any boy i have ever given attention and they should be grateful someone like me even looked in their direction. But oh how drastically did this attitude change, when i was the one venting about them. How i would become a stuck-up, exaggerated nagging girlfriend who can't accept that no one is perfect and men are just kind of worse than women. How everytime i would lament some sort of injustice - from my brother, from a boyfriend, from a male friend - she would be on first line defending him with sweat and blood. They are not all bad, you know. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he means well. Maybe you are exaggerating.

A boy in my uni college acts like a textbook misogynist. He uses girls for their body and services, openly insults women. Some of my old male friends have a single recurrent topic: insulting women. My mother speaks within me: but maybe he's not a lost cause. Maybe they are just dumb in a teenager way and will grow out of it and don't really mean it in a way.

The voice of my mother is the one of a scared girl who can't stomach to see the bigger picture of men's behaviour, of a girl who just want to coexist with them freely; but i have the moral duty not to inherit that.

hes even worse than i thought. maybe he is the one we should stay away from.

[purpurussy]

This literally does not matter but it irks me so much when I say something in the tags and then the op reblogs their post and says pretty much the exact same thing or something to that effect in the reblog without referencing me. I know this is so petty but it really irks me like would it have killed you to say "prev tags" or tag me. And I know that sometimes we all just have the same thoughts at the same time so whenever someone makes a completely separate post that's almost identical to something I said, I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they didn't see it (although I can't lie that still annoys me too) but when it's the same post it's like I know you saw me saying that... This has happened several times recently like stop stealing my silly little thoughts lmfao 😭

[sinfuego]

Tbh, nothing has made me sympathize more with Kipperlilly Copperkettle than her anger issues.

Cause anger is an emotion we feel when we're missing something. When we need something and can't get it. It's a balm to make us feel better when things don't go our way.

When things aren't fair.

[confessiononadancefloor]

weirdest type of friend breakup will always be the 'just stopped contacting you'.. my brother what is going on at least tell me you dont fuck with me anymore

[pikkish]

Hm. I admit I'm. Cautiously optimistic about Dark Ages. Looks like it has cool designs, and id software at least has a reputation for good gameplay, if not good story. I just really, really hope they at least stick to the story they established in Eternal and don't completely mutilate it.

[redysetdare]

I wish people understood that not every situation deserves to be treated with neutrality. Neutrality isn't always a good thing. it doesn't make you better at reporting. some situations are NOT neutral. some situations NEED a stance to be taken. You can tell both sides of the story but don't try to play devils advocate when one side is very obviously worse than another. You can report both sides in a way that makes people understand both sides without trying to make the worst side sympathetic and the low-key demonizing the other side to "Make it equal" Some shit is not equal. Neutrality can end up spreading misinformation. The point of reporting is to not do that. Neutrality doesn't = factual.

[vonlipvig]

i know nothing about br1dgerton and apparently there's some drama brewing on twitter because they genderbent a character and potentially made that couple gay women and the book fans are mad, and like, without any knowledge of the source material and what that would entail, i kinda understand at least some of the outrage? i mean, i'm not naive, i know they're probably just homophobic which sucks ass, but i'm someone who's annoying as all shit about adaptations and would probably be miffed by any minuscule change (tho i'd then watch the show and probably be like OH! ok it wasn't bad yay), so like...i get it.

...and then i saw a passage from the book about this originally male character and oh no. this can't be the hill you're choosing to die on. c'mon.

[lorenlily]

btw even with some of these celebrities now posting about donating to palestians funds/aids, sure that's good in terms of providing resources, but it doesn't mean they're pro palestine. it's taken majority of them the best part of 7 months to finally post but that's all they've done is share a link. and yes resources are very needed but unless they have outright called this what it is, and that is unmistakably a genocide, none of us should be calling them pro palestine. the one thing that differentiates this genocide from the ones before it and what makes it infinitely worse is that it is being documented in real time and the people on the ground as much as they need the resources right now, the one thing they've also repeatedly asked for from the beginning is to share their voices and call this out for what it is. it's easy for these rich folk to spend what is essentially 'change' for them but we should not be giving any of them the benefit of the doubt and none of them should be getting any praise for it either because frankly no one deserves any praise for doing anything for palestine. there is no 'moral dessert' to be sought for this.

[voltstone]

I HAVE MORE PROOF VIOLET AND MINNIE WERE NEVER ✨A THING✨ I SWEAR

plus how violentine is better bpd relationship. i mean what? hm?

i dont know what spawn within be woke me up from a dead sleep but here we are.

violet gots bpd (…probably). bpd idealization is not at all a good thing and is actually a sign of a rough connection. also, there's a taste of how identity plays into it.

and stuff. but whatever. nobody likes talking about bpd and i'll just sit here and rot or something.

okay, i'm being dramatic. lol. i'll go work on other essays. this is the one that it coms from btw.

[noneedtofearorhope]

i find it funny how leninists will be alllll about ‘the masses’ and ‘the people’ and how they are the true leaders and we must trust them etc etc etc, but then you also hear shit like ‘oh, don’t say anything negative about any Actually Existing Socialist™ countries, that will just manufacture consent for US imperialism’, implying that these same masses are too stupid to be able to have a position outside of the dichotomy of ‘AES countries good, leave them alone’ and ‘AES countries bad, send in the tanks’

which ya know, may explain why so many leninists are tankies, because they probably exist solely within such dichotomies.

[beebopurr]

OK no more acknowledging what ppl say. Apparently if someone responds to your discussion and you respond back saying your problems with their statement you are aggressive

[florida3exclamationpoints]

I didn't realize Alec Baldwin was on trial already but if he doesn't get found guilty .........

[alchemiclee]

I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.

for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.

when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.

equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?

I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?

I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!

BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS

(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either 😅 can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)

[nicklukenelson]

Can we pretty please acknowledge how creepy the logan x Kendall plotline is for a second? That is a 25 year old sleeping with a barely legal adult. Under false pretenses ! Weird as hell.

[swagging-back-to]

who else hates the intro for paint the town blue

[femmefaggot]

hi

block/unfollow us if you care about "syscourse" we dont think anyones level of trauma is anyone elses business and are too blurred to know our origins for all you know and for all we are willing to share, we are an endogenic system for the love of everything and anything read the carrd. it says this.