#donnie NEEDS help but his family cant always be there to help him (as much as they want to)
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tangledinink · 1 year ago
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has swanatello tried keeping a diary/journal? that way he could write down what happens at the visits and who visited, and his family could tell him what the date is so it could be accurate
Absolutely! He tries to record as much stuff as he possibly can so he can reference it later, the issue is that, on bad memory days, he often won't remember that the journal exists, and therefore can't add anything new to it or reference anything in it. If he does, he may not recognize the importance of it or understand why he's writing it in the first place. He may write down incorrect or conflicting information, as 'facts' may change for him depending on his mental state, which will later confuse him. He also has a tendency to lose things as a result of his memory issues.
He has a journal, but up until now it has been very patchworked and not half as helpful as he would like for it to be. His family tries to help him keep track of it and remind him to write things down when they visit, but they can't help if he won't allow them entry to the lake, if they can't find the journal, or if Donnie is too distressed or confused to participate in the exercise. The bracelet, however, has helped a lot with this, as it can verbally prompt him every day to locate the journal, reference the journal, to write in the journal, and to put the journal back in the correct place so he can still find it again later. This consistency is incredibly helpful, as the bracelet doesn't have to rely on Donnie having a 'good day' to begin with to offer assistance.
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anns-works · 2 years ago
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Ok so i've got something that yall would probably hate me for. But ive been holding this simmering pot of angst for a while and the first thing i was taught is to share, so suffer with me.
New ROTTMNT AU:
Rather than being the only one out of his brothers to survive in the no-good-very-bad-horrible future, Leo is the only brother who dies.
Okay okay okay.
But i personally like to think that after the krang come out everything goes to shit in the bad timeline everyone goes oh fuck and start teaming up right? Human yokai cryptids mutants– none of that matters as long as you got eachothers back.
And after the initial stumbles the brothers start their active participation in the resistance.
Heres the thing.
Leo is genuinly terrifying at coming up with a plan. Kid went toe to toe with motherfucking Big Mama and came out victorious. Big Mama, as if the most terrifying yokai crime boss Big Mama. Kid came out with a smile. Its safe to say his strategies were incredibly effective and it kinda pissed off a couple of people.
Military dude 1: I can't believe i'm following a plan made by a 16 yo mutanat turtle.
Military dude 2: Your just upset the kid called out all the flaws your plan had in less than 2 seconds flat.
But the one pissed off the most were the krang. This tiny insignificant insect was able to somehow keep the resistance 3 steps ahead. So naturally, they went to take him down first.
It took a while but eventually they managed to isolate Leo. His brothers were fighting up a storm but the krang got too much and so they had to leave. Without Leo.
About a week later which involved a lot of crying and screaming, the krang brodacast a live footage of torturing Leo (my boi) before krangyfying (did i spell that right) him.
And now the krang have leo on their side. Leo, who knows everything there is to know abt the resistance (hes a gossipy bitch but thats only cuz its important to have the intel) so they are in deep shit now.
And he was a zombie for a while guys. Fighting against him always had people dying and his fam having a mental breakdown.
Eventually they take him down, but at what cost. (One of the brothers killed him. cuz angst. And now the question is who is the MOST angst) Also, Leo is the first person to die in the resistance. (Ouch)
Casey rools up and has no fucking clue who Leo is (ouch) or why his mom wanted him to take up the role as Casey's dad (HC: Cass took one look at tge record of Leo's victories against his brothers in the lair games, strategy skills and medical knowledge; and declared that he would be Casey jr.'s father. Leo was incredibly touched)
But for some reason. For soME FUCKING REASON. Kid is so much like Leo its scary. His family is near tears everytime they see him act like that. That one time he made a shitty pun and Donnie started crying.
Well its probably due to the blue imaginary friend he has that he calls Bluey. Yes we're going towards that direction. His everything comes from being influenced by the cool older brother figure he has as an imaginary friend. (Cuz of ✨Mystic Shenanigans✨ Bluey is still stuck here. Mikey is the only one who can also see him. But he cant. Cuz hes depressed)
Also without Mr. A-Ninja's-Greatest-Weapon-Is-Hope I feel like shit gets really depressing in the resistance. Everyones sad. Baby casey is sad to see everyone sad. So he asks Bluey's help and picks up his general style of humor. Angst shenanigans.
And. AND. AND. During the whole peepaws time travel back after the movie montage (I am a aimple woman w/ simple need) these depressed hunks see this tiny version of their blue brother still covered in bandages and not fully healed from the krangvasion, and their immediete reaction? Protecc.
Leo is confused abt a lot of things. The future version of his brothers that got spat out of nowhere. Casey and how that worked w/ their Casey. The blue projection of HIS angsty future self (who is pretty cool btw). PTSD. You know, the works. At this point my guy is just vibing, and honestly? The story picks up a pretty chill pace from there. Its all abt healing now baby.
So thats the rough outline of the au. And it might sound like a fucking add but heres more abt this silly little idea that came from my silly little head. -> You'll (Never) Never Be Alone
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annonniiiiieeeee · 2 years ago
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Ok i was thinking, we have seen how Gen Kitsune and Kat(cant remenber the full name) react and behave with the children
But what about Leo fam? How do they react to the fact that he has children? How do they behave?
(Hope ur having a good time an ;>- mine isnt the best since im starting classes again-)
I’m have a great time but I’m sorry your classes are starting again.
I have another ask about their reaction to the decision to have kids which I will answer over there. I’m also going to bullet point this as it has a lot of moving pieces
Raph
Worlds goofiest uncle. Does anything to make the kids smile.
He is Jotaro godfather as he balances out the other god parent best and is the biggest brother.
After the initial shock he is very excited to be an uncle. He’s Leo’s fist choice when they need a babysitter (don’t tell Splinter) as his big brother took care of him growing up there is no one he trust more. (Unfortunately most of the time they need a babysitter is when all the brothers are busy fighting crime)
He’s the second worst when it comes to spoiling the children. He has never and will never learn to say no to baby eyes.
The kids use him as a jungle gym and he let them as long as they don’t move around to much if he’s walking.
He is terrified of the twins. They are much smaller then Jotaro was. It doesn’t help that Leo and Usagi rushed back earlier with two deathly ill children. He’s very protective of all of Leo’s kids but the twins are different for him.
Kaida also freaks him out with her small size. Leo is exasperated by this as he was hoping his family would calm Usagi’s nerves but Raph makes them worst.
“Raph you were once the same size! We were all that small” Leo cried in exasperation. “No I’ve always been the biggest. You might have been that small but I always protected you.”
Splinter has picture to prove him wrong. He was also once that small.
He is closest to Jotaro. He loves them all equally but there is a special bond between the oldest. Leo was right to make him godfather as he helps Jotaro deal with the stress of being the oldest. Usagi and Leo don’t put nearly as much stress on him as Splinter put on Raph. But the kid still feels responsible for his sisters and he knows his parents will protect them but he wants to to.
Raph helps him process this. It’s very therapeutic for him as well as he gets to provide the support he didn’t have when he was young. He lets Leo know that the kid is stressed and they all work together to help him. Their all proud of him for loving and carrying for his sister but there are ways to do it without taking on the responsibility of an adult. He deserves his childhood to.
Donnie
Donnie loves being Uncle Donnie.
He was the last one to be comfortable holding Jotaro he was worried he’d drop the kid or do something wrong.
He’s a soft shell and he becomes very protective of anyone he sees as family. He is extra protective of his twin. These are his twin’s kids. If anyone hurt them they would survive long enough to tell.
He is the uncle that spoils the kids the most as he is always building them now stuff.
He is the closest to the twins. Specifically Sakura as he is her godfather and she is also the oldest twin like him.
After the girls close encounter with their illness Donnie builds them anything and everything he can think of to help. They are so small and they don’t have his brothers advanced strength. They are physically weaker then their brother (DNA wise) and he worries endlessly.
It gets to the point where Leo has to pull him a side for a talk. It’s about a year after the girls illness and they are healthy and thriving. He loves Donnie and he understand what Donnie’s doing. He’s trying to protect the family. He’s also telling them he loves them in the way Donnie does best, gifts. And Leo is thankful for his twin and his care. However. Constantly having things for the twins but not Jotaro is going to become a problem. Right now their young and not noticing and everything is helpful. But he knows his twin will continue with gifts for the twins as they get older. He doesn’t want Jotaro to feel less important then his sisters or have any resentment to them as they always get Uncle Donnie’s cool stuff.
Donnie hadn’t realized that he had been leaving Jotaro out. He was so focused on the twins. But he understand what Leo is saying and starts to feel really bad about it as he never meant for Jotaro to feel second best or worse hold resentment for his sisters. He could tell how much the boy loves his sister and he doesn’t want to damage that relationship. Leo reassures him that he knows this wasn’t Donnie’s intentions and he is so thankful for Donnie and all that he does for them. Right now it’s not a problem but he just want to address the habit before it becomes one.
After that if Donnie has a gift for one of the kids there are two rules he makes for himself. If it’s specialized and something they need or a birthday then the others can be left out. But if it’s just a random gift. He thought of them while shopping or built some new tech he’d think they like he waits till he has something for all of them. He never wants to show favoritism’s as he loves them all equally but he can see how the gifts can easily be misconstrued as favoritism by little minds.
Kaida size does not freak him out. But he does mess with Usagi. By this point the two are close and get along really well. Anytime Usagi starts stressing about her size Donnie will just make wild comments about how it’s impractical that they’d lose her in the sink drain. Now the kitchen sink is different. He’ll come up with ridicules ways the could lose her just so Usagi can see that he’s being paranoid. Sometimes it works and Usagi laughs by the end others he’s so stuck in his own head it gets worst. Yet whatever worry Usagi’s has if it’s legitimate Donnie will go fix it. Sink drains with non removable grates on them ext.
Mikey
Mikey loves the kids he’s great with them. He comes over and plays ridiculous games with them
He always makes favorite uncle a competition. Leo and Usagi tell them not to but Raph, Donnie, Gen, and Mikey are competitive. Knowing they can’t stop it the couple just tell them not to let the kids know and not to make their love conditional.
None of them ever would. They love this kids to death. It’s more just Mikey razzing everyone else. “Oh Jotaro gave you a wave good bye that sad I got a hug.” “Mikey he’s 7 months old. His waves aren’t intentional and he can’t hug anyone. You were holding him.” “But he leaned against me so he likes me more” (youngest sibling energy at its purest)
He’s the fun uncle who brings the kids toy swords and then does battle with them in the back yard. (All the family does this, Mikey just the one who will clobber them at any point and then let them tackle him to the floor)
He is the bad idea uncle. The one you go to when you need adult supervision but know he’s going to let you get away with things your parents wouldn’t. The kids are never unsafe when they’re with him but they might have a little more sugar.
He is Kaida godfather and absolutely loves how small she is. He will teach her how to use that size to get littlest sublime privileges.
He teaches the kids how to cook as they get older and has a really close relationship with Ume and Jotaro who both truly love to cook. He gets along with Sakura as she develops a passion for art. He is the one who teaches them all how to flip around while fighting. Sakura and Kaida are the ones who take after his razzmatazz.
April
Most responsible aunt. Teaches the kids not to take crap from people.
When Jotaro is born she adores him and loves playing with his ears. She will come over for dinner and make sure the house is clean before she leaves because the new parents have enough on their plate.
She is not allowed to take the kids out alone. She used to but every trip always had something crazy happen as she is a magnet for the weird and unusual. Now if it’s an Auntie April adventure there’s another member of the family as well. (Once the kids are older Leo let’s her take out on her own again. Those crazy adventures shaped him and his brothers and he’d rather his kids have them with Auntie April there to keep them safe then not at all.
She is Sakura’s godmother and is very protective of all of the kids. After the twins illness she is around as much as she can be helping the parents out. She doesn’t want the running themselves into the ground.
Kaida size is adorable to her. She also loves the unlimited access her birth has given her to Splinters baby books of the boys. There is so much blackmail material in those.
Cassie
As Leo’s co-parent with Casey she and Leo are used to working together with kids. When they first decided to have Jotaro she claimed godmother as Leo was responsible for her kids she would be responsible for his. Leo couldn’t argue her logic. (This is also why Raph is the godfather as he balances Cassie energy well.)
I’m not going to talk to much about her here as there is a separate ask just for her. I will also tackle Casey in his own at a later date.
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r0b0t1me · 2 years ago
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"#sorry i can only make snippets of scenes and never elaborate on them#unless someone asked me to. huehue" i am begging. you to elaborate the "train me" sketch on the upper right 🥹 and any jr. hcs you have that u wanna talk abt (but only if u want).... also pls your coloring and expressions are INSANE but this is nothing i havent told u before!!!!!!!!! i just think your sketches have so much story bleeding out of them. its great
so funny thing about the train me one....
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some of these are ideas i know ive talked about already, but im pulling a lot from idw where casey copes with fear/anger/insecurity by picking fights and attempting to be a vigilante. leos always the one who portals him out of jail and patches him up but the more i think about it, raph could help in managing his anger or taking it out in a more productive way (duo missions perhaps?), even if he cant unpack the mountain of trauma caseys got on his shoulders
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i cant help it that the scene where casey cusses out leo is engraved in my brain forever. the kids a jones, on top of the constant violence in his life, anger feels like something that would come pretty naturally to him in order to cope* (i know he was raised to be a soldier, following orders and keeping a check on his emotions to carry things out, so i feel like the moment he doesnt have to fight a war and keep himself in line for the sake of other people anymore everything just kind of pours out of him) donnie has easily spent 1000$ in new sandbags for the dojo
*not that i think casey is inherently violent or always upset. but i think the kids a bit messed up sometimes from the. yknow the Everything
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from riches and wonders by the mountain goats. casey jones, the restless ghost who cant feel at home
actually yknow what lets make this post a mile long who cares. i wanna explore casey hanging out with all the boys. i know i focus a lot on him and leo bc their dynamic is so twisted but i need to draw him hanging with mikey, learning to cope with self expression that he never got the real chance to do in wartime. him being around donnie and the two of them both learning they can support each other while still trying to protect their family in their own way (talking mainly abt casey helping donnie with his tech here, since donnies neurotic as hell abt security after the movie to me). casey getting to know raph in general, a living legend to him. and of course cassandra, something i was too afraid to touch on before but now i think im confident enough to try and tackle at this point
i dont think ill ever get around to writing a whole story but i know eventually casey finds stability. in my mind i see him getting a job where he helps people (something in a medical field, maybe). he has a good relationship with his family, and practically lives with them 75% of the time. leo is the one hes closest to, of course. he travels the world alone after a few years and cries over fleo never getting to see it, but knows that wherever his master is that hes at peace, knowing that at least casey had the chance
i have more to talk about but im running out of steam and im starting to get embarrassingly heartfelt the longer i ramble so um- (EXPLODES)
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ducknotinarow · 2 years ago
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With how reckless Raphael can be isn't he scared of dying on a mission? Leavening his brothers behind? Or Casey and their kid(s)?
| Anon Ask
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Imma have to say BIG OOF on this ask here cause uh short answer? No he isn't scared about his own death. If his death meant saving his loved ones he'll tell the grimm reaper hi with a smile. But it sort of vaires so imma answer for 87,03/07/12 and SF Raphs below uwu
Raphael often struggles with what his place on his team is. 87 Raphael doesn't really know what he has to offer he tries the most to keep his anger in check using humor as a coping tool. But sometimes thats not enough and he gets worried about what he even has to offer to his brothers. When his anger gets the better of him it tends to be in a pinch to help. He never tends to care about his own saftey even getting so worked up over the mere idea of Mikey getting hurt or how reckless Don can get over his inventions that he started acting like a jerk to them when Don nearly died over them even. Raph feels if he died? his brothers would be just fine sure sad and miss him but they get on just fine. Casey? he would hate to leave Casey behind of course especially since Casey been slowly letting him in and well he would regret not fully ever getting to be there for him in the end and feel he failed Casey most.
03/07 Raph? his anger issues have always been very well known and he dose work on them meeting casey seems to help him handle them better or at least work out a better outlet to them. But he still gose in blind when hes been ticked off enough Mikey even takes advantage of it. Raph more fears his brothers dissappering the amout of times he losses it when any of them dissaper like Donnie. Raph already knows his roll is to protect his family he only ever worries being away from them because who will protect them then? He dosen't live for himself he lives for others. So of course he would hate leaving Casey and Summer behind, but if what got him killed was to keep them safe? he do it with a smile.
2012 Raph felt like being leader was meant for him due to his ego and need for approval from Splinter. Always questions Leo's orders and gives them a hard time at the start. But Raph quickly learns if he is in a leader role than he cant be the one to protect his brothers. They nearly lost Mikey when he was put in the role and Don had to take over and make the call for them to bail out because Raph froze up. Raph's a bit better about not wanting anyone to be left behind to nearly die especially since he did almost see that happen with Leo He is also a tad scared for all the deaths he has seen and nears ones. (Leo, Donnie, Mikey, Slash, the triceraton who commits suicide in front of him, Splinter, Casey.)
Raphael dosen't care to much if he gets hurt, but he sure damn well cares if those he cares about do get hurt. The idea of losing any of them? scares him more than death scares him, he's good about falling back or retreating when with someone else on his own though? not so much. His own well being isn't important to himself every new scar on him is one someone else didn't have to get. Casey and his sons? Well Casey is the reason raph changed his mind set because he promised casey he wouldn't leave them alone then with thier sons? he promised he would let them grow up how he had so they are his reasons to make sure he comes back alive to even if its just barely.
SF (hes new yeah but i have him heavily on my mind u-u so this is a nice excuse to write him)
Raph aint the best about retreating from a fight he swears he can take on bigger fights than he likely can getting upset when they bounce out of a fight that was getting to close to the chest even getting mad at Leo over it when it was Don's plan in the end. Raph's the kind of insane of never knows when to give up sort. Considering the story of the game he turly feels just going in firsts ready will slove the issue with Spliter being kept from them. And is always ready to jump back into the fight he honestly would fight when badly hurt. But hes a bit better about what begin a team means he gives Leo a hard time sure but he knows hes not better off with out his brothers, and them with out him. HE may chance it a lot but he can be smart enough to know when a fights a bit to much. Beside someones gotta be around to look out for Casey as well so he can't go dying.
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m-joys · 2 years ago
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Hello! May I request a matchup for TMNT 2012 please?
My name's Dorothy, but I go by Dee. I'm bisexual, 5'2 in height and on the heavier side in terms of weight, I'd say about 180 pounds. I have fair skin, dark brown hair and dark blue eyes.
I love writing, and I have a journal that I often use to vent about whatever is bothering me. I also really love music and you'll likely see me with my headphones. Force of habit, really 😅
I tend to be a therapist in my friend group, always trying to give good advice and help whenever I can. I'm very reflective of myself and my feelings, so it can be pretty easy for me to identify with a person's feelings. I can be really socially awkward sometimes and find it difficult to talk to others; it really stems from my anxiety.
Speaking of mental health, I also deal with depression and PTSD. Let's just say I did not have a good childhood thanks to my family, so that's the aftermath of it. Plus, I lost my dad almost a year and a half ago, and that really made my mental health worse. I'm in a better place now, but I still have days where I have really bad anxiety, feel depressed or get really irritated pretty easily.
Sorry if it felt like I was trauma dumping, that wasn't my intention I swear 😅 Let me know if you need any more information and I'll happily send it over. Thank you so much! ❤️
Im still figuring out the magic ways of tumblr, so send feedback on what I could approve on
I match you with Leo!
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Probably seems like an obvious and a stupid choice. Like "Yeah theyre helpfull/therapist friend/have mental health problems lets put them with Leo" but Im picturing you in my head and I cant think of anyone else besides you other than Leo.
You seem like an emotionally mature person that has witnessed a lot and thaf gives them an upper hand in having a complex emotional connection with someone. Someone that would also need to be emotionally mature, understanding, not quick to judge or get annoyed/irritated easily but rather try to understand where youre coming from.
I think he would quickly see your behaviour, being intrigued by it he would try and get closer to you and eventually realise you two get along so well. The feeling that he can pur his guard down around you and stop being so tense without you judging him would make him fall for you pretty fast.
Besides that, I think that Donnie(If he doesnt have a crush on April at the time) would also take a liking to you but it wouldnt be that serious and he would quickly back down
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all-that-tmnt-jazz · 4 years ago
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sooo kind of a downer and if you wanna skip it i totally understand 💖 thank you for doing these !! but how do you think the bayverse turtles would react to their afab reader s/o not being able to get pregnant? like maybe they’ve been dating awhile and the boys keep mentioning how its gonna be when “they can finally start a family” and the reader has to break the news that they cant? i found out a few years back that i’ll never be able to give birth annnnd its been a process learning how to talk about it with anyone really. thank you again💙💜
Oo, this one will be interesting…
I’ve been off my posting game today- sorry fam
Warnings: Explicit mentions of infertility and diabetes
Incarnation: Bayverse.
Extra Info: Fem!Reader
Leo:
You two had been together for about six years, nearly seven
You were dating for about three years, then had an official/unofficial wedding officiated by Chief Vincent herself
You two had often talked about getting married, which led to that moment
But recently, Leo had been open about his want for children
You had held back the information that would prevent you from having children
You didn’t want to tell him
You were scared
You were still trying to wrap your head around accepting it, even though you’ve known for years
This night, Leo was thinking out loud as you two lay side-by-side in bed
“I just… Imagine it, y/n. A little creature that we would have created. I hope they’d have your personality, though. I can get a bit too aloof sometimes, and you’ve always been the one to point that out and stand up to it-”
“Leo…”
You looked at him as he quieted
He looked back at you, eyes full of love
It broke your heart
“What is it, Love?”
You looked back to the ceiling
“I’m infertile, Leo…”
You felt tension fill the room
You closed your eyes, not wanting to see what would happen
You felt him shift beside you
You felt an arm drape around your torso
“Y/n, look at me, please,” he whispered
You squeezed your eyes tighter
“Y/n, please…”
You released a long breath and opened your eyes
“How long have you known?”
You bit the inside of your cheek
“Since… Since we started dating. I was scared to tell you. I can’t even…”
You hated how you’re voice was starting to crack
“I’m struggling to accept it myself, and telling you…”
You closed your eyes again, letting out a small, pathetic whimper
Leo laid back down and pulled you to his plastron
“Me talking about it wasn’t helping, was it?”
You shook your head
“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m sorry…”
Raph:
You two have been dating for about four years
You had met him five years before, and finally started dating after months of fluttering around each other
And now, he kept talking about a future with you
You love it
You often talk about it while in his bed late at night
He always holds you close and thinks out loud
“Just picture it, Y/n. You and I… Married… I can’t believe I let myself think that sometimes, but I can’t help it when I’m lucky enough to be with you…”
You kiss him softly
“What else do you think of?” you ask
You were expecting something along the lines of ‘I can’t wait to call you my wife’
But that’s not what you got, not exactly
“I mean, I’ve always seen a future with you. You know, ‘husband and wife’ sorta deal. And like, y’know, one day maybe… Children. I’ve always imagined having our own one day…”
He seemed almost embarrassed by this, but you could sense how genuine he was being
The gentle tone in his voice gave you a pang in your chest
“Would you ever want to have children, Y/n?” he asked you
You couldn’t look at him
“I want to adopt.”
“What about having your own children, though?”
You closed your eyes
You remained silent for a while
Raph got up on his elbow and looked at you
“Y/n, what’s wrong? Did I say something wrong, or…?”
You shook your head, still unable to open your eyes to look at him
“Then, what’s wrong?”
“Raph, I…”
You took a deep breath.
“I can’t have my own children.”
There was a long pause
He was incredibly confused
“But, Y/n… What are you talking about?”
You opened your eyes and looked at him
“Raph, I’m trans.”
He became even more confused
“I fully transitioned before I met you, but… I was born a guy, Raph, and I don’t have a uterus.”
Raph looked away from you for a moment, then back at you
He smiled a bit
“So… You’re a woman?”
You beamed
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Y/n. Um… Can I kiss you?”
You pulled yourself up to him and pressed your lips against his
Once you two pulled away, he held you to his plastron
“You know, we could talk to Vincent about adopting if you want.”
Donnie:
He had always wanted children of his own
Especially after meeting
You two were newly weds after dating for two years when he brought it up
“I’ve never felt so lucky to have someone in my life. Now I get to spend it with the love of my life and our family…”
You tried to imagine your family as just you and him, and maybe a pet
But he always implied that he wanted children
It always hurt you to hear him talk about his hopes for how your children would look and act
He always hoped they would act like you because you were always honest with him
You felt guilty after hearing this
So, you sat him down
“Honey, what’s going on? Is everything alright?”
“I, um… Yeah.”
What a lie…
“You know I have diabetes.”
“Of course- I remember when you first told me and I made that whole meal plan to help balance your sugars.”
You smiled weakly at the memory
“Why do you bring it up? Is something getting worse?”
“No, no.”
You put your hands in your lap and looked at them for a moment
You took a deep breath
You looked at him
“I talked to my doctor.”
You saw the worry fill his expression
He was about to speak, but you stopped him
You blinked slowly, but kept eye contact
“Donnie… You keep saying you want children, and I get that, I just… It’ll kill me if I have children.”
You saw the gears click into place in his head
His expression filled with guilt
“Y/n… I… I’m sorry… I should’ve known…”
You hushed him and looked away
“You’re just excited-”
“But I know the risks, and yet I thought selfishly.”
“Donnie, listen to me. It’s not your fault I inherited diabetes. It’s not your fault I can’t have children.”
“But it’s my fault I kept bringing it up.”
You stood and held him close to you.
“It’s okay. We can figure this out.”
Mikey:
You had been dating for only a few months when the topic of becoming a family started conversations
He always lit up when he talked about Little Mikeys and Little Y/ns running around
And honestly, you did, too
Until you were having a conversation with your mother about your family tree
She told you that your aunts were all infertile, and that- out of her sisters- your mother was the only one who was able to have children
All of her sisters were infertile
She was afraid the gene skipped her and passed to you
You didn’t tell this to Mikey, of course
You didn’t want to worry him
But he, being a total empath, immediately noticed something was off
You just told him you were going to be going to the doctor to get some stuff checked out
Which wasn’t a lie
It was just… a half-truth.
So, a few days later, you found yourself in your doctor’s office explaining the situation
After you left, you went to your apartment instead of the Lair
You felt like you needed to be alone with a pint of ice cream
You felt bad for ignoring Mikey’s calls, but you didn’t have the emotional strength to face him right now
But what does he do? 
He comes to your apartment
“Angel! What happened?! You’ve had me worried sick!”
He engulfs you in a hug, careful not to smush your credit cream
When he lets go, he borrows your spoon and takes some ice cream 
You chuckle dryly
He sits next to you, suddenly much more serious than he usually is
“Talk to me, Y/n.”
You take a deep breath, wanting to disappear into your couch
“I’m…”
You can’t prevent tears from following
“Angel cakes, come here…”
He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you next to him 
“I’m infertile, Mike…” you manage to whisper 
“What?”
“I’m infertile. I can’t get pregnant…”
He nods slowly, processing the information
It clicks, and he gasps slightly
Your cries turned into sobs
He moves the ice cream away and holds you impossibly closer
“I love you, Y/n. I’m not going anywhere…”
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Text
A ROTTMNT FanFiction: Support System Part 1
This is a gift (Part 1 of a few chapters) for a special friend of mine @jadethest0ne who i hope never forgets what a wonderful person and friend she is.
Also I”m warning you now, this story is going to have a lot of medical incidences, which will include blood, stitches, and many other things. Including allergic reactions. If this makes you uncomfortable do not read. But its no more intense then what you’d see in a Med Drama (I think so?I don’t actually watch those. Except Scrubs, does that count? I love Scrubs)
Summary: Leo always understood his role in the family. Ever since he was a child, he was going to be the one who helped his brothers and heal them after their worst pains.  But what if that wasn’t enough anymore?
Pairings: OH sure you can come look! * picks up flaming tree branch* If you dare
Characters: Leonardo, Donatello, Splinter, Raphael, Michelangelo
Genre: Hurt Comfort, friends family With a smidgen of angst
“Donnie catch!!!”
Even though he was seven  years old, Donnie had had enough natural instinct at this point to grab the book he  had been reading (twice as thick as Raphies head) and summersault over the back of his beanbag chair in time for a large brick to land where he had been with a painful ‘thud’. Donnie peered at the thrown object before frowning at the perpetrator  in a large red jersey, “Raphie what did we talk about the reading bean bag?”
“To, uh.” Raphie’s eyes crossed as they usually did when he was asked a question. Leo said it was because Raph didn’t like to t hint. But Donnie knew it was just because Raphie knew if he played dumb people would stop asking him things he didn’t want to answer, “throw things at you when you’re sitting on it? Look at my jersey!” He spun around to show the back, where Raphie marked out players name (with what looked like green jello) and wrote ‘Ghost Bear’ in its place (written in pudding) “See?! Isn’t this great?!!”
“Not great enough to throw a brick at me.”
“You’re right! I should of thrown more!!”
Don puffed up his cheeks so hard that his glasses misaligned,  he wanted to say something to deter the possibility of having to dodge a downpour of bricks (again) when a crashing sound came from the living room followed by loud crying. A moment later Splinter was running out of the bathroom with only a shower curtain for a towel and head full of soap, “Whose hurt whose bleeding?!” He called sliding past the living room for a moment  in a streak of soap before running in. Donnie was already hurrying after him with Raphie on his heels.
The source of the crying came from Mikey who was siting on the ground with a large cut on his scalp, probably the result of the broken lamp by his side, and the source of  the louder crying came from Leo knelt by his side, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry-“ before looking to their father with a unnatural amount of tears pouring out of his eyes, “dad I think his skulls broken and now hh-his brain is leaking out!!!
“Blue its ok it’s just a cut.” Splinter hoisted Mikey up into his arms, looking his head over, “Mikey is it more hurty or scary?”
Mikey let out a small hiccup, wiping at his streaming eyes “S-scary.”
“Alright, lets   Go get this fixed up my brave orange.”  Splinter held Mikey to his chest, before reaching out and cupping Leo’s face in his free hand, “Blue it was a accident. He’ll be ok.” Giving the still weeping child a peck on scalp, before looking back at Leo who looked like he was going to be sick with concern, but Donnie was already out of the room and dragging a chair over to the fridge and using it to climb up, pulling open the freezer to the sight of several dark blue teddy bears lined up in the corner. He didn’t particularly like the texture of the ‘cool bears’ so he put his hands and his sleeved and made sure to grab the one with one ear and a green Jupiter Jim shirt that nearly froze his fingertips through his long hoodie sleeves and hurried back to the living room knowing Dad wouldn’t leave Leo’s side if he was this distressed, “Its ok Dad.” Donnie said, sitting by Leo, “I got him.” The minute Leo saw the teddy he stopped his loud weeping and grabbed it, hugging the icy cold bear to his chest and burying his face in it. Splinter let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you Purple.” He said rubbing his scalp, “Red can you brush up the broken pieces? I’ll clean them up later. I’m going to take care of Mikey.” He said standing up, carrying the youngest child out of the room. Raph, puffed up his chest, “Ok you two heard, I’m in charge so that –“
“Raphie go do what Dad said.” Don wasn’t in the mood to have Raphie power trip on him, before you can ask yes a child can power trip if they’re left in charge for longer then two minutes, the oldest brother puffed up his cheeks. But when Donnie gave a pointed look to Leo, who was still rocking softly with his face buried in the cold teddy  bear, he seemed to understand what he was saying and went to go get a broom. Donnie stood up, brushing the dirt off his hoodie, “come on Leo, “ he said, taking up his brothers hand. The blue turtle stood up, trailing after Don with his face still pressed into his bear as though is the was the last life preserve to his sanity. Donnie pulled Leo into the kitchen, so he could grab another cool bear if the one his brother had defrosted too much. Leo he climbed up miserably onto the round diner couch and curled up into a little ball, “Leo you didn’t mean to hurt Mikey-“   There was some muttering but Don couldn’t understand, “Leo I cant hear you through LL Cool Bear-“ He tilted his head hoping to get a better read on what Leo was saying.  Don climbed up onto chair to sit next to him, he barely had time to open his arms before Leo was curled up against him. With one hand still pressing Cool Bear against his face, Leo’s free arm hugged Donnie tightly to him. Though Donnie was usually the one who didn’t like physical contact, he also knew when his brothers needed him. So he took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around his still trembling brother.
There was a shuffle as Splinter came into the living room, his shower curtain now wrapped like a toga (he was probably sick of holding it up) with hair clips to hold it in place “Alright alright Oranges boo boo’s have been bandaged and kiss glass cleaned up where’s-“ before seeing the two curled up int eh boooth. With some effort he managed to squeeze in on the other side, “Blue it is alright no one is in trouble. Orange said he just tripped over the lamp cord-“ But like last time, the only response Leo was able to give was another muffled shout into the teddy bear.Splinter looked to Don, “how long has he been hiding his face?” Don shrugged in response “Alright time to pull out the big guns.” Splinter shuffled out of his seat and went to the fridge, “Oh Bbblllueeee, I have three  red hots/ raisin cookies with your name on it.”
Leo gave out a  loud sniff, raising his eyes from Cool Bear but refusing to pull it completely from his face or leave Don’s arms, “With hot sauce milk?”
Don could see Splinter struggle not to cringe , “of course my Blueberry! What a lovely,” the rat shivered, “Lovely combination.” He said pulling out a bottle of hot sauce and a gallon of milk, pouring out a glass. He visibly gulped before twisting open the hot sauce lid and pouring half its contents into he small class of milk. If he hadn’t been focused on being Leos’ support he would of laughed at Splinters struggle to maintain a straight face. But he managed to stir up a light pink glass of contaminated milk, “Purple would you like some?”
“Not hungry.” Purple shook his head, “Dad when are you going to get dressed? You’ve been eating a shower curtain for forever.”
“Oh this is nothing Purple.  I  spent the first four years in a shower curtain.” When Splinter set down the plate and glass Leo finally pulled his face away from his bear long enough to uncover his mouth, taking one of the abomination cookies (as donnie liked to call them) and dipping them into his hot sauce milk, pressing the bear to the other side of his face. “Blue, do you understand no ones in trouble? It was a accident-“
“B-but Mikey got hurt.” Leo’s eyes filled with tears again “He was bleeding, I don’t want my brothers to be in pain ever.”
Splinter gave a sigh that Don recognized a mile away, scooting closer and letting Leo snuggle into his fathers side, “Blue, you  understand that you can not prevent your brothers from getting hurt?  They are their own people, who happen to love playing rough.”
Don could see the tears reforming in Leo’s eyes as his breathing quickened, “No, I love them I don’t want them to get hurt ever.”  Donnie scooted closer to rub at his shell, “how can I help them if I can’t keep them from getting hurt?”
“Well,” Splinter thought for a moment, “ as your father I don’t like seeing you boys get hurt either, when you have four boys running around in four directions it’s nearly impossible to do, but I instead make sure that I’m prepared for when you do get hurt. I have a first aid kit”
Leo sniffed, “You mean the booboo box?”
“I-yes. The booboo box. It has bandages, bandaids, and  what ever I need incase one of my favorite boys gets hurt.”
Leo pugged up his cheeks, squeezing Don’s hand for all it was worth. Donnie could tell he was thinking something through-“Can I have one?”
“I.” Splinter paused, “I’m not sure Blue first aid kits aren’t really toys.” But the moment Leos eyes swelled with tears again their father sighed. While Their dad was easy going when it came to small things he rarely gave in to request like this. But later on Don would wonder if it was Leo’s sincerity that caused Splinter to smile “How about this, i’m not going to give you a full first aid kit now. But how about I give you a couple of bandaids to carry with you if you weld them responsibly. And you must tell me when your brothers are hurt as well, Ok?” Splinter he dug through eh med kit and pulled out a few Lou Jitsu bandaids, “If you prove you can be responsible with these, then we can talk about you getting a first aid kid later, is that a deal?”
Leo’s eyes widen to the size of monster truck tires, holding his free hand out taking the bandaids as though they were a treasure, “I-I’ll do it! I’ll be re’ponsible! I-I’ll keep my brothers safe!” He puffed up his chest. He pulled from donnie and stood up on i the chair, hugging his father rightly around his neck, causing their father to chuckle and hold him back , “I believe in you my little Blueberry.” Stroking the back of his head.
Of course Leo would hold his word, using his powerful bandaids only when needed, and going to get Splinter when he needed him. So next Christmas, when he received a first aid kit (albeit one that was been modified for a child to mess with safely) he smiled for days to come.
But on that day, donnie watched Splinter hold his brother who, just a hour ago, had been in the midst of a intense panic attack. Wouldn’t forget how he felt watching his brother. Unlike Leo, Donnie already had a understanding of the world that a child shouldn’t have. Wheel his brothers dreamt of what it would be like to go to the surface, Donnie knew what dangers would await them.
If they got hurt
If they got discovered
If they-
So the next time he earned enough ‘good stars’ to go to the library he not only got the books he knew wouldn’t arouse suspicion, he also picked up one he hoped he would never have to use.But one he would read over and over again till he ad the entire thing dedicated to memory.
He would be ready
He would protect Mikey
He would protect Raph
He would protect Splinter
He would protect Leo
(#)(#)\/(#)(#)
(Seven years later)
Mikey looked around in panic, searching for a escape route. But before he could do anything Leo gave a mighty shriek of unknown animal origin (he had been going for something between a kitten and bat) and lunging forward. Mikey gave a yelp of surprise before falling back on the armchair. With his quarry trapped, Leo brought up his fingers in a claw form and attacked. His six fingers becoming weapons of death as he dug them into Mikeys sides, his brother burst out laughing, squirming  In a desperate attempt to escape this assault, but Leo danced around the arm chair, both keeping Mikey trapped and attacking his most sensitive spots, “Submit to Leo the Nardo!!!! Submit to your older brother!”
“OK OK!!!’ Mikey kicked at his brother  “You win!!!! You can pick the movie tonight!!!!!”
Leo drew his hands back allowing Mickey to finally breath, in between his barely kept remaining giggles. With a dramatic twist he turned to Donatello who was leaning against the wall watching this whole spectacle with one eyebrow raised, “And now, “Leo said in his best intimidating voice (as threatening as a fourteen year old whose voice still cracked once in a while), ‘“Two down, one to go. The boss battle.”
“Uh, shouldn’t Raph be the boss battle? He is the oldest”
“Puh-lease. Watch this.” Leo took  a step back to look into the main room of the lair where Raph was lifting weights on the half pipe  , Leo raised a eyebrow at him and immediately the largest brother burst into laughing again, rolling off his weight bench and onto the floor with enough force to send a soft tremble through the lair, “See? You jus look at him weird and he burst out laughing. That is why you are my last challenge.” Leo said with a dramatic point, “if I can conquer you, then we have no choice but to watch a movie of my choosing tonight!”
“It’s Little Women again isn’t it?” Donnie pulled out his phone with disinterest, “You posted twenty five quotes from little Woman on Fumlbr in the last hour, and I saw you taking a nap with your copy of the book on your face.”
“YES ITS LITTLE WOMEN!!!!!” Leo brought up his fingers up again, “make it easy on yourself brother, submit now.” Donatello let out a soft if maniacal chuckle, before Leo could ask what was going on something on the back of his cross-body belt shot up towards the ceiling as he shrieked in surprise hanging from some unknown inventions thatDonatello must of attached to his belt when he was tickle tackling Mikey. Leo crowed his arms with a pout, “well played Donatello.”
“Yes I know. And i’’ll let you down if you listen to my conditions.” Donnie gave him a small nudge on the forehead, making him start spinning in a slow circle, “One we watch a series of movies everyone likes, and in return I will not only buy you a carton of any ice cream you want, even if the name of it alone makes me physically sick, and I will let you try out your new jokes on me for, “ Don looked at his phone, “Five minutes.”
Ok, even Leo thought that was a good deal. But the loss of watching his favorite non Lou Jitsu / Jupiter Jim movie was still  a blow to his still spinning heart. It must have been obvious because he heard Don sigh, and move over to be in his line of vision with his head tilted to keep eye contact with him at a somewhat up right level, “AND I promise to watch Little Women with you at a later time. The only reason I don’t want our brothers watching it is because they’re sensitive. I showed Mikey a drawing of a frowny face once  and he cried for three days.”
Its one of the rare times the memory of one of his brothers crying makes Leo chuckle. But he can acknowledge Donnie is making an effort. Donnie wasn’t always the most open turtle when it comes to others, but the fact he was trying to make him happy sorta made him happy. While still hanging from the ceiling (How long was this rope?) He reached his hand out, “deal  first favorite Donnie!”
Donnie shook his hand back, “No problem second favorite Leo.” He brought up his gauntlet and tapped the screen. Leo could hear whirring on his back as he was set on his feet, frowning with a large wrinkled pout on his face, “I’m going to get you to admit I’m your first favorite Leo someday I swear it Donnie.”
“Uh huh.” Don gives him a smug look that’s obviously mean to make him pout more (which it succeeds in doing). “Now if you heathens excuse me, I have a package coming in and I want to get to it before the rabid rabbits next door eat it.”without looking up, Donnie gave a half attempted peace sign before heading out of the living room. Leo crossed his arms and looked over to Mikey “I am his favorite Leo he just doesn’t want to admit it.’
Mikey wiped  his finally dry eyes as one last laugh escaped him before looking up  at Leo from his upside down spot on the arm chair , “whose his  supposed first favorite Leonardo? Da’Vinci? “
“No, cause hes not alive anymore apparently he likes Leonardo DiCaprio more then me!” He crosses his arms,
Mikey giggled before sitting up, ‘“Actually, you know what? Donnies got a point, Leonardo DiCaprio might be my favorite Leo too.”
Leo Let’s out a loud offended gasp, “FOR MY HONOR!!!!” This time Mikey had the common sense to roll over the back of the arm chair when Leo came at him. Laughing as Leo chased him around the living room, throwing random pillows and bean bags to block his path. Mikey had ducked to run out of the living room when Raph appeared in the door way probably investigating the noise, Mikey let out a squeak of surprise bringing his hands up to bounce off Raph’s chest and roll behind him, “Raphie I need help!”
“Wh-“ poor Raph looked more confused then usual, “what Leo-“
“I’ve gotta punish Mikey!” Leo explained, ducking around him. But Mikey kept to the opposite site of Raph with a loud laugh, “Not if you can’t catch me!!!!!” Raph raised his arms over his head, probably to keep one of them from accidentally scratching themselves on his spikes , “Whoa! No playing ring around the raphie you two-“ eh said before letting out a small cough
Leo reached up and caught a hold of Raph’s arms like a parallel bar before tucking his legs up enough that Mikey didn’t have Tim to notice where he was and dropped down on him, “GOTCHA!!!!!’ Mikey shrieked in terror before laughing again, bringing up his elbows to protect his sensitive sides. Of course this time Leo hadn’t been planning on showing any mercy unless Mikey promised to cook him a batch of his famous jello filled cupcakes with mozzarella frosting, and if he just happened to get hot sauce it’d be even better-
That was before he heard a slight wheeze  behind him, he was about to tell  raph he had forgotten to take out his retainer again when that wheeze became a full on cough. Leo looked to his brother to see Raph with both hands pressed over his mouth, smothering the loud coughs that were now escaping his sweating face, “Raph?!” He climbed off Mikey and ent over to Raph’s side,  “Raph do you need water?” Before noticing that his face, though normally squishy, had began to swell up in a way that made his heart stop, “He’s having a allergic reaction!” He said to Mikey now at his side with an equally anxious look on his face, ‘“How did he get peanut butter?! We keep it locked up!”
“I-“Mikeys eyes began to swim with tears, “I-I have a peanut butter sandwich earlier but I cleaned up after myself I swear!”
Oh frick, he must of still had peanut residue on his hands after he ran into Raph.  Leos’ heart was already racing a mile a minute, Raph hadn’t had a allergic reaction to this volume since he first discovered his allergy. They were so careful with peanut-butter, “dad?!” He called loudly, digging around his  satchel and pulling out his first aid kit. Epi pen, did he have one? He never thought o put one in, where did they keep them? Did they have any? How long before Raph’s throat swelled up completely?! Another loud cough escaped Raph causing Leo’s eyes to fill with tears-
He was so wrapped up in digging through his med kit that he barely noticed the sound of a box being dropped at the entrance to the lair. Not until Donnie was running past him, holding a beanbag at had been close to the entrance and swinging it around, “Raph sit.” He ordered, his free hand pushing down hard on Raph’s shoulder giving him little choice, In a fluid motion, he pulled out a epi-pen from his battle shell, pulled off the blue cap and slammed the point on the outside of Raph’s thigh. The effect was almost instantaneous as Raph took a loud deep breath, his airway finally giving him much needed oxygen, cleansing his lung with a few loud coughs before he sighed in relief. Raph’s face was still slightly swollen as he massaged his throat.
Don pulled out the pen and began to massage the injection point for a few seconds. His free hand rubbing Raph’s shoulder, “Nod if your airway is opening up.” Raph did as he was told, tears streaming down his face, Don looked to Mikey, “Micheal go get Raph’s blanket from his room and go get Dad.”
“I-I” Mikey looked at their biggest brother with his own tear filled eyes, “I-I’m so sorry Raphie-“
“Micheal.” Don added a edge to his voice that demanded Mikeys attention, “It was a accident, if you want to make up for it then go do as I say.” The youngest nodded and hurried out of the room.
Leo blinked, for a moment he had forgotten he even existed. His hand was still stuck in his med kit as though still hoping to find a epi pen he knew he didn’t have. He watched Don pull out a second epi pen from his battle shell and coach a trembling crying Raph through breathing. When Mikey returned with Splinter, Splinter wrapped the blanket around Raph’s shoulders and helped him up. Donnie made the recommendation that they keep an eye on Raph and consider going to the hospital if the symptoms returned and that Mikey go scrub down in the shower to make sure he didn’t have anymore peanut butter on him. The only acknowledgement he got was Donnie calling to him over his shoulder to go to the kitchen and check that it was clean of any more nuts. After all that, he stood at the kitchen counter with a sponge in his hand and asked himself one thing
What the hell just happened?
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mikeytmnt · 4 years ago
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Thoughts on Raph's anger issues
2012 applied the "tough with a soft heart" trope for Raph but they couldve done more for Raph and show why he has anger issues. Does such a bad temper come out of a vacuum? Well Im not a psychologist so I dont know but if they provided a reason why hes angry, it would give him more depth. Most of his inner conflict is "i should stop being angry" instead of "why am i so angry?" so i pieced together a reason for why that might be and how his development followed that.
Based on what weve seen in canon, his anger issues might come from resentment that Splinter favors Leo more than him. Donnie and Mikey have other passions outside of ninjutsu but to Leo and Raph, ninjutsu is their world and it seems that Leo beat Raph in that area according to Splinter.
Resentment towards Leo and Splinter
Splinter may love his sons equally but he trusts Leo more. Theyre a very small family and prior to meeting April and the rest of their new friends, Splinter never imagined there would be others to take care of his sons. When he leaves, he expected them to be on their own. So hes preparing ahead for who is going to lead them next and that is Leo. Because Raph focused too much on his skills but didnt develop his character into one like a leader.
But Raph is very young and he might have misinterpreted Splinter's passing of responsibility to Leo as loving Leo more. And he feels frustrated and inadequate and those feelings turn into anger issues.
Isolation made his negative emotions fester
Raph is facing emotions he cant talk to anyone about. Leo and Splinter are the reasons for it and Mikey seems to be more immature than he is to understand complicated feelings like that. Theres a risk that Donnie might scold him if he opens up, personally i dont think he would, but its scary to open up to someone like that and youll come up with worst case scenarios if you think about it. And its very likely he doesnt want to acknowledge these feelings because its painful to admit he holds resentment for family who loves him dearly.
As for Mikey, Raph underestimates him a lot and hes not the type to unload his burdens on his younger brother. Its also implied that he feels protective over Mikey so as a protector, he wouldn't want to bother Mikey with his issues.
Being isolated for most of their lives and only having each other for company isnt the best environment to grow in. I think we all realized that during this quarantine. Its amazing the turtles turned out so well. And Raph developed issues because of it but thats normal considering his situation.
His love for pets
The writers might have put his soft spot for pets just to contradict his tough guy character but if we look at it in the context of his issues, it could be the product of isolation and his wish to connect with others outside of his family. He feels he cant open up to Leo and Splinter because of his resentment, theres a risk Donnie might be "too logical" and point out the flaws in his feelings instead of empathizing, and Mikey is out of the question for him. So he connects to pets instead because they won't judge him and he feels less lonely with them.
How Donnie and Mikey would've helped
Personally i think Donnie wouldve understood him and explained to him what Splinter's intentions are. Like Leo, Donnie has a burden no one else can carry, which is being the brain of the team. And the ones who gave him that burden are his brothers themselves, always counting on him to figure things out. Donnie knows they dont do this because hes their favorite brother but simply because of his capabilities. Just like Splinter gives burden to Leo because of his leadership skills.
Splinter, as their father, only has the right to appoint the role he has, and that is his position as the leader of the family. He cant dictate what the others choose to be anymore and if Leo refused him, he cant force him so its a good thing Leo is willing. But the rest of the brothers fell into place easily. Donnie the brain, Raph the muscle and Mikey the heart. Since Raph values Donnie and Mikey for what they bring to team, then he should also value himself despite not being the leader.
I also think Mikey wouldve helped him. Mikey is wise and has high emotional intelligence. He can concisely put into words what Raph needs to hear. There are some things you know but cant seem to believe in, for example, you know your friends love you but sometimes you dont feel it. But Mikey has no such disconnect, he believes in everything he knows, so assurance coming from him would be very effective. You know if he says something, he means it and hes not just trying to make you feel better.
Embracing the protector role
Since he realizes hes not cut out to be leader, he embraces the role more suitable to his skills which is the protector. He tells Splinter that he can risk his life easily but he cant do it to his brothers. Instead of fighting for Leos position, he finds his place in the team and i think that helps him come to terms with Splinter's favor towards Leo.
Summary
Raph develops resentment from Splinter's favoritism towards Leo and has no outlet for his emotions. he's unable to express that frustration in a healthy manner, turning into anger issues.
His love for pets also implies that he longs for connection and for someone to understand him without judging him.
If he had opened up to Mikey and Donnie who arent involved in the cause of his issues, his temper might not have gotten this bad because Mikey is empathetic and Donnie has a logical understanding of the situation.
He does come at peace with his emotions and he gets calmer as the seasons go by as he had given up on being the leader and favored student and accepted his role as protector.
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teetlesandnimjas · 4 years ago
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What if in the explosion the brothers got separated?
This is a villain turtle au- if you don’t want to read it you can scroll past! I know it’s a cliche concept but it was fun! And I like doing my own spin on things.
(Note in this au when they’re mutated they are a little older, young kids, as this idea wouldn’t work if they weren’t SEMI competent. They’re still 13, 14, and 15 in modern times, but when they’re first mutated Mikey is 3, Leo and Donnie are 4, and Raph is 5)
Donnie: got scooped up by Draxum in the end, and works as his assistant first, son second. He has a similar position to Foot Recruit; despite being fully capable of actually being useful, he is treated with little respect and does mundane tasks like running errands and fixing random, broken objects. He is trained constantly but is told over and over again that he is “not good enough” yet. Despite this he puts his heart into everything he does. Broken clock? Sure he’ll fix it and it’s got LAZERS now! This causes him to accidentally make problems, and Draxum thinks that Donnie is “a complete and udder fool” which is further from the truth. Villain Donnie is a lot like canon Donnie personality wise but a bit more serious. He does not approve of Draxum’s use of mystic powers, and resents using them himself. He refuses the axe Draxum tries to give him. Draxum has little regard for what Donnie thinks and does, and therefore has an awful relationship with him. And yknow Donnie’s abandonment and self-worth issues? Yeah crank that up to 11. Basically Donnie hates Draxum and the Mystic City, and the Shredder going rouge is the last straw. “WATCH ME! ILL WIPE OUT THE HUMAN THREAT WITHOUT YOUR STUPID MAGIC! YOU HEAR ME BARON DRAXUM- I DEFY YOU!”
Leo: made his way to New York via Senior Hueso. Originally I was going to have him raised by Hueso but then realized it wouldn’t make a lot of sense- so Senior Hueso picks baby Leo up off the streets but ever the wanderer Leo walks right through the GIANT PORTAL IN THE WALL. From there Foot Brute, attempting and failing to find members for the clan, picks up this tiny, promising turtle off the street. “What is that thing?” “I dunno but he’s cute- and we’re in need of members” “That is an actual child” “so?” And then Leo is raised by his two dad- I mean sensei. I put raised lightly. He was treated better than Donnie but he was never given a lot of attention, and therefore turned to causing trouble to get attention. And not just from his dads, from anyone he can. Causing mischief in the city actually helped him in his training, as he became very skilled at sneaking, fighting, and stealing. He butts heads with Foot Recruit a lot because of his constant need for approval and attention. She finds him genuinely annoying while he just views it as “playful teasing.” That comes back to bite him the butt upon meeting Donnie, who comes along to help make form the Shredder armor, but he does not want to be there. Forced to work together, Donnie gets sick of Leo’s crap real fast but they don’t really hate each other, but in the moment they needed to play it off like they did and therefore gave the impression to the other that they DID hate them. Confusing, I know. Draxum tries and fails on multiple occasions to nab Leo but if he does he realizes it’ll put a major dent in his plans. So he forbids Donnie to speak to Leo. But no one stops Leo from talking to him. But Donnie’s coldness and Leo’s cruel banter really doesn’t help them get along. The moment Shredder goes rogue and the Foot Clan collapses, Leo flees in fear. “What if” this and “what if” that but mostly because he tried to take out Shredder and ruined his clan name. But even on the street, Leo remains the same annoying, much more cruel and dark humored mutant.
Mikey: Got scooped up by the Mud Dogs and taken to Big Mama, dragging only Lou’s glasses with him since even as a toddler he picked up anything shiny he saw. I plan to draw the interaction between tiny Mikey and the Dogs (and how Mikey got his name in this au) but that’s a surprise. Anyways pretty quickly he got entered in the Battle Nexus. Think about the appeal that fight would have! Just a couple years of training and then bam! “Introducing Hakka-gu! Our youngest fighter ever- only 8 years old!” And having natural talent and capabilities he was an instant hit. And he wasn’t treated horribly, after all Big Mama couldn’t risk one of her most profitable champions running away. But he is still treated as nothing but that- a profit, a marketable product. No one calls him his real name anymore, no one cares about him, just his capabilities. When he gets injured it isnt “are you okay?” It’s “is your body okay?” And sometimes he’s treated like an idiot- especially by Big Mama. He was never taught language and has very botched speaking patterns because “intelligence isnt important for a champion.” Well eventually he has enough of that, and through a bloodbath, he is able to escape to New York. Now he’ll get respect- he’ll make them respect him. But he gets quickly spotted by the Foot Clan and Draxum, as he’s in the way. Upon finding out about the plans to wipe out humans, he knows he has to stop them. Who can respect him if THESE GUYS wanna take over the world? He’s not getting mistreated again. But when the Shredder goes rogue he panics- he cant stop it but... he knows who can. He goes crawling back to Big Mama and strikes a deal. A better champion. Better than him. And she takes it, although in the end she makes some... alterations to the deal. But this doesn’t stop his quest for respect, and he ultimately heads back to New York.
Raph: Savage! He’s alone, a young child who doesn’t know where to go. He panics, and rampages all the way to New York. After a good, long, temper-tantrum, he finds himself in an alleyway, climbing into a sewer. And there he eats rats, he sets up a not-so-homely-home for himself. He flashes in and out of his anger, but he is almost always emotional and looking for some sort of control in his life. He gets that through rampages, causing destruction in any way he can. Usually he doesn’t make TOO much of a mess but he’s brought down a few buildings in his time. Eventually, upon seeing a rampaging demon-armor in the streets and seeing 2 figures trying to stop it (at this point Mikey is getting Big Mama) he realizes there are others out there like him. And then begins a struggle for control not over the world, but over himself too. There are times he gains control and although lonely, he knows he must learn. He learns English in flickers, and it isn’t perfect, but he can communicate. He can talk to them. Now he just needs to stop hurting them.
Extra notes:
In this au the only one with their weapon is Donnie. Mikey and Leo are skilled with the weapons they have in canon (the Ōdachi and Kusari-fundo) but they do not have mystic powers. Raph is... well... Raph. He can’t fight with weapons well but he can pack a punch.
Mikey is still a chef and artist, taking a liking to the ability to create, but just like with everything else he “needs to focus on his fights” so he can’t have interests. A kid like Mikey HATES this and any time he can he sneaks away to bake and draw. Usually this is at 2 am.
Leo has anxiety. The minute something not in the plan happens, or a loud noise, or having to talk to someone without a script, he goes into fight-or-flight mode. He often finds that the answer is to fight.
Raph is not necessarily evil- he is an antagonist but he is not evil. He simply has no control and lashes out at everything. That’s why he stays in the sewers. Nothing down there’s moves other than rats, bugs, and the water. But he has to get violent urges out some how.
April is a reporter-in-training in the au, as she never met the turtles until after the Shredder incident. She’s immediately interested in it, as she is everything “supernatural” and she gets dangerously close to some of their fights. I don’t know how they meet yet or if she becomes friends with any of them.
After the Shredder incident, the only thing stopping each turtle from destroying New York is each other. Seriously. They keep getting in each other’s ways because “I want to take over the world, not THEM!”
They all have certain villain stereotypes. Donnie is sort of a mad scientist, Leo is a teasing, monologging villain, Mikey acts like a nut case but has a certain intelligence to him, and Raph appears as a total destroyer.
In the end they get redeemed and find out they’re family, but it takes a while. Mikey is the one to hunt down Draxum, while Leo stalks him. Upon finding this out, having 3 out of 4 looking for each other, they find each other pretty fast. And there’s a big dramatic apology scene with all 3 of them, and at first Donnie thinks they’re conspiring against him and ambushes them but is only met with three harmless turtles who refuse to fight him. They tell him what the deal is and Donnie is shocked. And then he’s pissed. “WHY DIDNT DRAXUM TELL ME!? YOURE LYING! LIARS! NO!” In the end he realizes the truth, but it takes a little “talk” with Draxum. And then Donnie nearly commits murder. Don’t worry they stop him. But there’s no Draxum redemption arc because Donnie would continuously try to commit a felony. April is also somewhere in there and like gives the brothers goodness lessons but idk where that fits in I’m still working this out shajajajajaj
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cowabungacafe · 4 years ago
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A request for a Match Ups! It's a lot.
I'm 4'10, recovering from anorexia, physically disabled, autistic ADHD depression, long dark hair, half Sicilian, loving family, only child. Always anxious, curious, easy to love, deadpan. Shy and introverted but I'll talk a friend's ear off excitedly. Writer of urban fantasy with superhero characters with disabilities.
I love psychology, neuroscience, chocolate, avocado, helping someone cook, watching someone play video games since I physically can't because of how my cerebral palsy affects my left side. I love cartoons and nature shows and superhero movies. I have a habit of infodumping about my special interest and then forgetting and repeating. I have no sense of time! I have chronic fatigue and joint problems, and no spatial perception, so I prefer Tai Chi over yoga. I'll make a lot of sarcastic hyperbolic jokes, but I might not get it when someone else does it. I'm very slow to anger, but it's like a tiny volcano.
Hi! Thank you for your matchup request! I hope you got who you wanted.
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Gif desc: you told me you love cats and i couldn't find a cuter picture.
I match you with
Mikey
Why i matched you with your result
You are so strong yet so soft, you suffer from so many complex conditions yet you are hopeful and cool to be with, although i didnt talk to you for much but you gave me very cool and collected vibes.
Although mikey isn't shy but he can and definently does talk a friends ear off. After some time of your meeting, when you get comfortable around him, both of you will talk so much and about everything and anything that eventually both of you will take a break to drink water.
You like cartoons and superhero movies? BOOM you're not alone! Mikey is a die hard fan and have watched every superhero movies and cartoons there ever was. Some he loves , some he didnt. But hey!! Watching isn't a problem right?
Mikey have more sense of time than donnie. And i also think he is pretty mature under that "baby boy" persona. So he knows when its time for lunch,dinner,bath etc and will call you out to go have lunch if both of you are talking for a long time.
For every problem of yours, mikey has and is the solution. Always anxious? Guess who's gonna cheery u up. Need a massage? Guess who's a masseur now. Sometimes you cant help but think of him as an angel from heaven assigned to you for your good deed in the previous birth.
You're easy going and easy to love just like mikey.
You have a lot of patience and slow to anger and mikey really needs someone like that because of his sudden and constant outbursts of adrenaline.
Random headcanons of both of you when together
When mikey got to know that you cant play video games but love to watch someone play. His heart broke for a sec but boy from then on he plays all the games with you by your side. When you're not around he wont pay games(surprisingly) bcus he doesn't want you to miss out !!
Many days he will video call you while he plays video games so that you dont get left out. And your happiness is his happiness.
He is in for any superheroes!! And superheros with disability is a very new thing for him so he is even more hooked on you and your writings. He will read your previous writings and ask you for spoilers!!
He jokes with you too and a lot!!, but if sometime you don't get it he will patiently describe is to you.
When he got to know that you love nature shows, he decided of surprising you to a picnic/date out in the green and the woods. That was the most beautiful date you ever had!!
Thanks to you, mikey now knows a lot about neuroscience and psychology which surprises his brothers and april. He is a very good student and listened to your infodumping with a willing heart, and your repetition of it helped him memorize even better.
He lovvvveeess chocolate (honestly who doesnt?) And he brings diff stuff made of chocos on your dates. Sometimes you really get worried about his chocolate intake capacity but miraculously he hardly gets sick.
When he came to know that you own to cat he begged to come and see them right away!! He loveess catsss. Whenever he is over at your place he will spend half the time with you cats. You dont mind seriously, you love to see them play.
You like to help cooking and mikey has had experience on cooking so its a full-on cooking show for both of you!!!. When you two are cooking, the kitchens a bit messy bcus both of you will be playing around with the flour, or he will throw some random jokes which will send you laughing but that isn't a problem bcus hey! Love is a bit messy isnt it?❤
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exophilelovings · 6 years ago
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Golden Gate
This is January’s Short story, Golden Gate! 
Want February’s? Go to my patreon now to get access to it for a $1!!
https://www.patreon.com/monsterlover2018
Going to her grandmother’s had never been a problem for Katrina. Her whole family had been living up in the appalachian mountains in Pennsylvania for quite a long time. They had settled there according to her grandmother with some of the first German settlers in the area. It had been a bit crazy for her family when she had moved to Carlisle instead of opting to stay up in the little mountain village her family had made. It did make their lives much easier, as every weekend she would come up and visit and bring the mail from the P.O. Box since the little cabins were way outside city, and the mail man’s, limits. Katrina placed the grocery in the bed of her truck in baskets before starting her way up the mountain road. Every week her grandmother sent her with a list even though she swore she didn’t need anything from ‘down the mountain’ as she would say. She watched as the trees grew more dense as she drove up the pass, as the asphalt disappeared into gravel. When she pulled up to the large cabin she couldn’t help the deep breath. The smell of burning pine and the thick plume of smoke coming from the chimney let her know her grandmother was baking something in that old archaic stove of hers. She gathered two baskets from the truck bed before heading into the cabin.
“Hey Grandma.” She said, setting the baskets on the table. The old woman looked up from poking at the biscuits in the stove.
“There you are girl!” She huffed, closing the door on the stove. “Late this week!”
“Told you I had to work late this weekend if I was going to be able to stay the night so I could pick out those Red Mulberries you want so much.” Katrina said, looking her grandmother over. The old lady huffed as she stirred the stew on the stove. While her grandmother was a bit hard, she knew it was because she loved her. “I got you those things you asked for, along with some of those crisp lemon cookies.” As Katrina set the package on the counter she could feel her grandmother’s stare.
“If I wanted cookies I could make my own.” The elderly woman huffed, but she knew that come morning that package of cookies would disappear into her grandmother’s bedroom so she could hide them from her uncles if they came to visit. Katrina grabbed the last of the groceries before heading to the guest bedroom, setting down her bag. She was thankful there was some cell service out here, so she would be able to at least scroll through facebook and get a few emails out before bed. She set her bag down on the bed with a sigh, knowing that the bed was less than comfortable, but she didn’t want her grandmother going out into the woods to pick mulberries. Old woman would probably break something and be stuck out there for days.
Katrina pulled her blonde hair up into a ponytail, knowing as soon as she came back out of the room her grandmother would be putting her to work. Even though she had moved to the city years ago, she knew what her chores would be before she got some dinner. She immediately grabbed the bucket to fill with water so they could heat it up to wash dishes when dinner was over. Katrina walked to the pump just on the other side of the cabin, setting the bucket on the ground and began to pump water as she remembered when she had told the family she would be moving to the city for good. Sure, some of her family had jobs in Carlisle, but no one actually lived in city limits. They had all had the same argument. The family had been living on the land for years, they worked in town and always came back home. This land had been with their family for generations and would be for generations to come, thus the family had to stay.
Even though they had been plenty upset, Katrina had still left. She had found an office job in the city and an quaint little apartment all things considered. She hadn’t always been excited to head into work to patch phone calls around the office, but there was something about the forest that...Well, that had honestly scared her. Something about the shadows that danced in the trees that sent shivers down her spine and caused her to sweat. She felt much better nestled in her apartment, doors locked and the sounds of car engines up and down the street. She didn’t know why but it was just safer to her.
She grabbed the bucket and brought it back to the cabin. “You know you could move in with Uncle Donny. He has running water and electricity at least.” Katrina said as she put the bucket on its designated place on the wood stove.
“And I’ll tell you the same thing I told your Uncle Donny. Once I cant take care of myself no more, I’ll move.” Her Grandmother said as she moved the tray of biscuits out of the oven. Katrina rolled her eyes. She was sure her grandmother would die alone in this old cabin, but she knew that was what her grandmother had wanted. She had been raised like this, and she would die like this. Katrina grabbed cups and bowls as she cleared the kitchen table off of the groceries and mail she had brought.
“I’m going to bring Uncle Donny his mail when I go to pick Mulberries, is there anything you want me to bring him?” Katrina asked as she brought the stew pot to the table. Even though her grandmother fussed that she could do it, things were getting too heavy for her now a days.
“You could bring the leftover biscuits if we dont eat the rest at breakfast...Oh! I’ve got some Jam I made that's finally done setting that you could bring a jar.” Katrina nodded as the list got longer and longer of things she would need to bring. She was glad she had packed her clothes for the weekend in a backpack this time.  She ate dinner and helped her grandmother with the dishes, taking a moment to sit out on a stool just outside the cabin. It was thankfully cool enough that she wasnt batting away swarms of gnats and mosquitos. Even though she was happy in the city, she did miss this. The absolute quiet that the woods brought. She sighed, leaning her head back against the wood cabin as she listened to the rustling of the trees and a few birds call as they settled in for the night.
What she hadn’t expected was the figure standing at the very edge of the woods. She noticed him when she stood to finally head inside and get some sleep. He was amazingly tall, standing along the brush just inside the woods. Katrina blinked before deciding to speak. “Are you lost?” She asked. It had happened before, hikers going along the appalachian trail would get lost and end up at one of her family’s cabins. The figure didn’t move, only gently swaying with the brush as the wind blew through it. Katrina took a step closer, but was still cautious. Anyone up this far in the woods was family, a hiker, or a murderer, and this guy was starting to lean towards the third option in Katrina’s mind. “The trail isn’t far from here, I can get you on your way, no need to worry.”
The figure stood still as she stepped closer before suddenly setting something on the ground and disappearing into the woods. Katrina debated a moment, staring at the object the figure had placed on the ground. At this distance she could tell it was a bowl filled with something, but the contents were obscured by the brush and growing darkness. She swallowed. Definitely a murderer. Maybe a psycho, giving her a bowl full of someone's intestines. Even though she wanted to turn her back to the woods and book it into the cabin, something drew her to the bowl. If it was a bowl full of human organs she would need to drive a bit to find some cell signal to call the police. She stepped closer, still keeping an eye on the brush. One crinkle of a foot step she would be in the cabin in seconds and dragging her grandmother into her truck.
What she hadn't thought it would be would be a decent sized bowl of mulberries. She blinked, picking up the bowl. The wooden bowl was smooth, carved with flowers and leaves, little fairies dancing among the vines. As she went to inspect the berries again, seeing if a heart was under all the berries, she heard a voice.
“Cake please.” It was like a whisper on the wind, but right next to her ear. Katrina shrieked, turning quickly and dropping the bowl. She had expected the man to be there, towering over her, but there was nothing. She breathed heavy, whipping back around to the woods to see the bowl on the ground, still full. She had flung that bowl, there should have been berries everywhere, but there it sat. On the ground by her feet, still as full as it had been before.
“Careful.” The voice whispered again and Katrina swore she could feel a hand pass over hers. “Greta will know.” As those words were whispered, the wind completely stopped and Katrina swore she couldn’t hear a thing. Not a single thing in the woods and she was completely unnerved. Yet, Katrina still picked up the bowl from the ground, bringing it into the cabin. Her grandmother looked up from where she had begun to pile all of the things she would need to bring to her uncle’s house. She set down the book, going to the kitchen and grabbing her apron.
“What will he like this time?” She asked, beginning to gather baking ingredients from shelves around the kitchen.
Katrina stared at her grandmother moment. “Um...Cake?” She said, setting the bowl down. “But there are about a hundred questions before we even get to that part.”
Her grandmother raised an eyebrow. “Must I answer them?”
“If you don’t want me dragging you out of this cabin this instant you damn straight you’re going to answer them.” Katrina said, arms crossed.
“Language.” Her grandmother scolded as she took up the bowl. “It’s the Erlking.”
Katrina blinked as she stared at her grandmother. “The Erlking. Like fairytale.” Katrina would have to call her Uncle in the morning. Her Grandmother had finally lost it.
“King of the Fairies and all that, yes yes.” She said, getting a bowl from the shelf and beginning to add her dry ingredients to a bowl. “Can you get a fire started back in the oven so it’ll be hot in time?”
“Um, no? Because you’re currently cooking a cake for either an imagination or a homeless psycho, either way we are going to Uncle Donny’s for the night.” She said, but before she could move she was getting whapped on the back of the head with a flour covered wooden spoon.
“Get the fire going Katrina, wasn’t a question.” She scolded. “And if you keep doing as your told, I’ll explain.”
Katrina rubbed the throbbing place on her head, going to grab wood just to keep her grandmother happy. In the morning they would be on their way out. “Fine, Fine, but you better keep talking.”
Her grandmother continued to mix in ingredients to the bowl. “When our family settled here, back when the immigrated from Germany, They were led here by...well the Erlking.” Her grandmother said, cracking an egg. “He said that if we smuggled him out of Europe, He would find us a place to live. And it was truth. We were given this land up in the woods by him. After a while though….Children in the local towns began to go missing. Our family knew immediately it was the Erlking and we went out in the woods to hunt him down. A redemption for all of the children taken.” She gestured for the bowl of berries and Katrina handed it to her, listening intently. “When they found him though, it was way too late. This wasn’t the man they had faked papers for anymore. He had found power here he hadn’t found in Germany because too many knew his name. He said he desired sweet things, like the innocent children in the village. My grandmother made a deal with him. Our family would make him sweets if he left the children alone.” She finished buttering a cake pan and began pouring in the batter. “My grandmother made him hard candies, as did my mother, but I can never get them right, so I began baking for him.” She slid the pan into the oven and sat to wait till it was done. “I’ve got to talk to your Uncle Donny’s wife, see if she will take up the deal after I’m gone.”
Katrina blinked, staring at her. She slowly sat down in the chair across from her. “Grandma...You know how crazy that sounds right?” She said, watching her.
Her grandmother sighed. “I...I know.” She looked at her. “But you saw him, and heard him.”
Katrina couldn’t deny that. “There is probably some crazy homeless man Grandma.”
“You know he’s not.” She said, eyeing her. Katrina was in her own head about that. She was right about that. “...Bring him the cake when it’s done. You’ll see.”
Katrina looked at her. “Grandma, you’re crazy! That could be some crazy-”
“I’ve been doing this for years Katrina.” Her grandmother scolded. “If he wanted to kill me, he could have easily done it years ago.” She scolded. Katrina swallowed. “If I do this, and I realize it’s some homeless crazy man, you go live with Uncle Donny.” Katrina eyed her grandmother. “Deal?”
She looked at her a moment before nodding. “Deal.”
Katrina waited in quiet as the cake baked, playing on her phone even thought she wasn’t truely connected to anything. She looked up when her grandmother finally stood and took the cake from the stove. “Alright.” She said, taking the cake out and wrapping it up in a cloth. “He likes it still hot.” She said, setting the cake on top of the bowl. “Go on.”
Katrina took the cake, rubbing her face. It was close to two a.m. at this point and she couldn’t believe she was not only up, but going to bring a cake into the woods. She took the cake and brought it back to where she had found the bowl.
“...Alright Erlking, if thats who you are, its two in the morning and I’m exhausted and if you could just take this stupid cake that would be great.” Katrina stood in the quiet a moment, looking around as her eyes tried to adjust.
“Well Katrina, that was terribly rude.” She jumped, spinning around to see the tall figure. He towered over her, and as her eyes continued to adjust she realized he wasn’t right.
He was not only amazingly tall, but he seemed to be oddly lanky. Long arms at his sides, reaching towards the cake. His hair was pulled into a complex series of braids around the crown of his head, a tangle of flowers and leaves tucked in and his eyes….his eyes were just white. No color or pupil. She wasn’t sure if she would have been less unnerved if his eyes were completely black or like this. He took the cake, immediately tearing off a piece and taking a bite.
Katrina blinked as she stared as he ate torn off pieces from the cake. “H-How…” He groaned at the bite. “So sweet, she always does so well.” He looked at her. “...Been a long time since I’ve seen you. Not since you were a young one.” He blinked as Katrina took a hesitant step back.
“I-I...um…” She looked back at the edge of the woods, wondering if she could make it if she booked it.
“I could catch you if you tried.” Her eyes shot back as he smiled. “How have you been? I have missed you since you moved to the city.” Katrina more made gasping noises and mouth movements than answering. “I appreciate you visiting your grandmother. She is lonely often.”
Katrina held up her hands. “Wait a dang second.” She said. “How..How do you know all this?”
He took another bite of cake. “I have been with your family since they immigrated in the twenties, I owe them quite a bit.” He said, flicking crumbs from his fingers. “Well Katrina…” He held out a hand. “Would you like to take a walk with me?”
Katrina blinked. “Walk?” She asked. “Are you crazy? You can get super lost out here.”
He chuckled, gesturing against with his hand. “I know very well where I’m going.” He said. “Spend the night, just one, and I’ll let your grandmother get some peace by ending this age old contract I have with your family. You know it’s why she stays right?”
Katrina glared then. “How do I know you aren’t just going to kill me?” She said.
He raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t tried yet, have I?” He took her hand then, taking a few steps that Katrina ended up following. She couldn’t believe she was following some...creature deeper into the woods. She could hear the leaves crunch under their feet as they walked. “Just about there…” He said, helping Katrina over a fallen tree. In the middle of an empty grove stood a rusty looking garden gate. The fence had fallen away long ago, only the gate entrance remaining.
“And where are we supposed to be staying, hmm Mr. The Erlking?” Katrina huffed.
He raised an eyebrow but chuckled. “Just call me Oberon.” He said, pushing the gate open. It creaked loudly, but as it opened Katrina could hear a weird echo. It almost sounded like talking. “Follow me and you’ll see.”
Katrina swallowed, but took the couple steps forward. When she stepped forward, there was a blast of warm air...then they were in the bustling city. Though it was night, the streets were still busy with nightlife. They stood at the base of a golden archway and he brought his arm around her, pulling her to his side.
“Welcome to Golden Gate.”
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geminimoonbeamx · 7 years ago
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In the Land of Gods and Monsters: Part Two
A/N: So I’ve been doing my research, and for the last few days I’ve been doing nothing but binging on mob material. From Donnie Brasco to Mob Wives to a shit ton of documentaries. I really want this story to somehow…embody? That feel. That glamorous, dangerous feel. I’m aiming for you to feel like you’re listening to a Lana Del Rey song when you read this. Which is why at the beginning of every chapter I’m going to be posting a song lyric of hers- set the mood, ya feel?
Word Count: 6k+ you guys know I’m a sucker for these long ass chapters.
Warnings: As with all of my stories there’s a permanent warning of cursing. I have a mouth like a sailor and express myself through the word fuck. Drug Use, Sexual Tension and Pining are all you’ve gotta’ worry about for this chapter. Pretty SFW, no juicy stuff…YET.
Summary: You knew what you were getting yourself into when you met Bucky Barnes. He was a known wise guy. A feared mobster. Everyone in the neighborhood knew his name. Funny, in retrospect, you think that might have been why you couldn’t help but be drawn in like a moth to a flame. This first and foremost, is a love story. Blood stained and littered with bullet holes, but the story of how you fell in love with the man none the less. Mobster!BuckyxPlus Size Reader
Swinging in the back yard, pull up in your fast car, whistling my name. Open up a beer, and you say get over here and play a video game- Lana Del Rey
-Past-
It’s that pretty time of year in New York, your favorite time. The small window where the last tendrils of spring spillover across the beginnings of summer, where the heat hasn’t completely taken over but the sunshine warmed up the city from the inside out. It was also, the most wonderful time of the fucking year, in your humble opinion, because you were nearly out of school for summer break. Funny, in your early twenties and still counting own the days til’ the last day of school. College really was a ball buster.
Only a few more months, you repeated it to yourself like a prayer- like some kind of moral boost. You were set to graduate in December with your Bachelor’s.
Wanda had made it a habit lately, due to the nice weather, to come and pick you up from school. She’d have a pre-rolled waiting, and the two of you would stop and get something to eat on your way back home.
Today it was bagels, you munch happily, and highly on the last of the cream cheese, salmon and tomato bagel as the two of you walk down the city street. Wanda’s beside you, walking tall as always- and it’s not even the fact that she literally is tall. Runway model tall- accentuated with the heels she has on her feet- but its just the way that she holds herself. Even in her t-shirt and leather leggings; you’d be able to tell from a mile a way that this girl was someone, just by the confident jut of her chin.
The two of you babble about little things- not innocent things though.
About the fact that Pietro had come home with a nasty shiner the night before.
“He’s going to get himself killed” She hisses, distress and annoyance lacing her tone “I don’t know why he cant just get his pussy outside the families. Idiot has some kind'a death wish”
Wanda was ranting about how Pietro had been dipping(quite literally) into the mob pool of women lately. According to her that was the stupidest thing he could do- daughters, sisters, wives; that was an easy way to get yourself killed. Mess with the wrong mans woman, phew, you better watch out. Pietro never did watch out for shit, though. You thought it was almost…fascinating, watching the way the man navigated the world. Not looking at his surroundings as he buzzed through them.
Obviously, you spent a shit ton of time at Wanda’s house. Why wouldn’t you? The you opted to hang out at her mansion of a home instead of your apartment most of the time- even though Wanda was more then willing to go help your Grandma Viv in the Bodega she owned below it. You’d much rather sunbathe on one of her many balconies instead.
After being granted access through the iron wrought gates, and walking up the drive way that you teased was a fucking city block; you notice the unfamiliar cars that are parked in front of her house. Luxurious sports cars- not something the milkman drove. She must notice your staring, because she answers you before you can ask-
“My dad’s got some company over”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah” She waggles her eyebrows then in a way that makes you half frown, half smile “Tony’s here, and guess who’s with him”-
Your stomach does a little flip flop at the possibility- at the probability because that gleaming look in Wanda’s eye told you everything. You’d relayed to her the little time you’d spent with Bucky Barnes at the Social Club a couple weeks ago and she’d just laughed and told you to watch your shit. That many a woman had fallen victim that pretty eyed spell he was tryin’ to lure you under . You’d scoffed and rolled your eyes, indignantly. You weren’t falling for shit.
“Uh-huh, Y/N” Wanda had sing songed “You tell yourself that, babe- but he asked Pietro about you at a sit down the other day. ”
-“Who?” You play innocent, dumb.
“Bucky” She whispers like a schoolgirl, bumping your shoulder with hers and you shove her away playfully, laughing at her antics.
“Oh, my god, you’re such a fuckin’ child”
You loved Wanda like this, though. When she opened up, her playful child like side that she concealed with dark clothes and scowls was your absolute favorite. So as you’re walking up the steps to her frond door, her arm is slung across your shoulders and you’re giggling into her cheek, elbowing her ribs softly.
“Hello girls- you look like you’re having fun. Care to share what’s got you both so- giggly? Not that I don’t enjoy it- you know I dig the whole Lolita thing”
Tony Stark, you’re learning, even though you’ve only met him once- is dramatic. From the insanely expensive tailored maroon suit that he wears, to his sharp goatee, he was like some sort of Gatsby. Some sort of established, flamboyant character that had walked off of the pages of a book.
“I’m sure you do. Innocent little girls your thing, Tony?” Wanda shoots at him, grinning and you purse your lips to hide a smile.
She’d explained to you that she liked flirting with Tony because it rattled her dad’s cage- nothing had ever happened, but she wouldn’t really mind if it did.
You’d told her in return that she had a nasty case of ‘daddy issues-itus’ and needed to make sure that thousand dollar an hour shrink of hers helped sort it out.
“C'mon, friends make secrets, secrets don’t make friends”
“Why don’t you stop harassing them- God, I leave you alone for five minutes”
Just then, a red headed woman that you’d never seen before, because fuck, you would have definitely remembered her, turns the corner into the foyer. She was gorgeous, in her body tight pencil skirt and heels. She held her chin high- kind of the same way Wanda did and you just knew that she was somebody, important. The Givenchy on her arm only adding to that notion.
Bucky, as Wanda had promised, is there too. Next to the red-head, and your eyes meet for just a moment. You flash him a quick, small smile before adverting your stare. You can feel he hasn’t done the same- feel his eyes on your face.
Wanda and the woman share a small smile and nod.
“Y/N, this is Natasha Romanoff. Natasha- Y/N” she introduces the two of you and you shake the woman’s hand pleasantly. You don’t mean to, but you cant help but just…look at her.
Was it like some kind of unspoken rule that you had to be gorgeous to be apart of this world(underworld?)
“And Bucky-”
“We’ve already met” Bucky grins at you, interrupting your friend and you try to keep your face as neutral as you can “Good to see you again, Y/N”
“You too” You feel…very underdressed around these people. You had on a fairly cute outfit, but it paled in comparison to Bucky’s crisp black blazer. The dress shirt he wore underneath was open, showing the top of his chest and the small peppering of dark hair at the start there.
“I heard I missed a hell of a get together” Natasha grins, knowingly, at the two of you. In a way that’s almost scary.
“You didn’t really, nothing special” Tony, obliviously rolls his eyes “Happy took twelve tequila shots and didn’t black out, that was probably the most interesting part of the night”
Erik walks in then, looking like Hugh Hefner himself in a robe and loafers, Raven trailing behind him, and asks why everyone’s clogging’ up his doorway.
“Girls- I didn’t know you were home. I made lunch if you-” Raven rambles as she steps forward.
“We already ate” Wanda doesn’t snap it really, no. Snapping requires some kind of, emotion? And she’s nothing but cold to that woman.
“Sorry, old man” Tony teases good naturedly as he puts a hand on Erik’s shoulder and shakes his hand once more “We we’re just leaving when we ran into your daughter. Prettier every day, this one gets”
Ballsy, you note again. -“just like her mother”
“I know, and you know I’d cut the hands off of anyone that touched her”
Ha, ha, ha. Everyone laughs, but you know it’s not a joke. And so does Tony.
They all pay their respects then, Tony and his crew going to exit out of the door and you following Wanda and her father towards the kitchen-
Your pulled to a stand still by a long fingered grip on your forearm. One that startles the shit out of you, and makes gooseflesh break out where his skin touches yours as you lift your head and meet his eyes.
“I wasn’t lyin’ when I said it was good to see you again” Bucky says lowly, languidly.
His voice just a sinful as you remembered. Fattening and silk smooth.
“That so?” You quip, fuck, you even don’t know how. Your heart is jumping, leaping, and he still hasn’t let go of his light grip on your arm. Your eyes flash, scanning behind you, almost scared to get caught by Wanda or her father. That they might come back round the corner. Being alone with him feels so much more intimate then it really is.
“It is…we shouldn’t wait such a long time before seeing each other again”
“Bucky” You laugh “It’s been two weeks”
“Yeah” He grins down at you “Like I said, long time. Too long, if you ask me”
Fuck…pretty eyed spell? Yeah, that shit was real. Your head feels airy, maybe it’s because how hard your heart is pounding. Oh god, you were going to have a heart attack or something.
“So what exactly is it that you’re asking me?” you manage.
“Let me get your number?” Your eyebrow quirks at that, at the almost pleading edge in his voice “Let me take you out? I’ve been thinkin’ bout'cha, doll”
His tone drops then, drips with electricity “You been thinking about me too?” he all but whispers and you bite your bottom lip in some kind of attempt to keep yourself in your body. Fuck man, you don’t know if anyone had eve had this kind of affect on you.
“And if I said no?” You challenge, weakly, but still. He chuckles low, his eyes blazing. Like you’d ignited something in them- a part of you, the one that screamed for your self preservation almost wished you could put it out.
“I’d know you were lyin…”
“You’re very sure of yourself, Mr. Barnes”
“-Well maybe, but mostly I’m sure of the fact that I would show you the best time of your life. Take you somewhere you deserved”
“You don’t know me. How do you know what I deserve?” You point out, trying(but not really) to pull yourself away from him. Something about him ant the way he was with you made you want to…make him chase you. Made your hummingbird heart want to play.
Your eyes say it all.
“I want to know you” It’s such a simple statement, but it’s so…honest. The truth of it rings around the hot bubble the two of you have seemed to create for yourselves.
Who were you, to say no to something like that?
“Do you have a pen?”
“Nah-but I’ve got a great memory” He grins and you cant help but shake your head. This man…
He leaves the house with your number and your peace of mind.
It takes him four days to call you, 96 grueling hours where you’ve completely convinced yourself that he’s not going to.
How stupid could you fuckin’ be, you internally berate yourself. Thinking that a man like him- ugh. It had been a bad idea anyway. Him and his gunmetal eyes and his jawline that almost made you salivate-
“Y/N!”
You’re broken out of your mind by your Grandma who gives you a pointed look “Those cereal boxes aint going to shelf them selves”
You sigh and give her a “Sorry Grams” before getting back to the task at hand. Your Grandma Viv might have been elderly, but she was honestly the spunkiest, most alive person you’d ever met. She kept her long, silver hair pinned up and her cat framed glasses covered her defined eyes. She was always dressed in shawls and capes, in fabric that danced behind her. But even with her bohemian vibe, everyone knew she wasn’t one to be fucked with. It’s why she had had this place, this bodega(corner store) for the past twenty years. An organic bodega? In the hood? Everyone had laughed, but she’d proved them all wrong, and it had become a sort of staple of the neighborhood.
Needed fresh produce? Go to Vivs. Healthy ingredients or fresh flowers or quinoa(because that was all the rage right now) that wouldn’t break your bank like Whole Foods would? Go to Vivs.
She loved her shop, was so proud of it- but she also wasn’t getting any younger. And when her partner died a few years back(god rest her soul), you’d moved back in with her to help take care of things. You told her you were only there to help with the store, but really, you wanted to keep an eye on her too. You knew all those years of organic eating and tea cleanses and marijuana had done her good, but still. You worried about her- a fact that would always make her laugh.
“You’re the kid, little bird. I’m supposed'ta be worrying about you!”
You’re signing a clipboard, chatting with a delivery boy an hour or so later when your ringtone chirps from your back pocket.
“Yeah, you can just go line them up against the back wall, thanks” You finish up quick with him before pulling it out and looking at the number. It’s unknown, foreign and you try not to get excited as you answer it. It could be anybody- a bill collecter maybe? Your cousin who could seem to keep that same number for more then a week for the life of him-
“Hello?”
“Hi, doll”
None of the above. The voice belonged to Bucky- who you’d convinced yourself wasn’t going to call.
“-It’s Bucky” He verifies after it takes a beat for you to reply.
“I figured” You don’t mean to be bitchy, but you’d really thought he wasn’t going to contact you and that shit had stung.
“What are you doing, pretty girl?”
“Working” you deadpan back, trying to smother the butterflies that came with his “pretty girl”
“Yeah?”
“Yup”
“What are you doing tomorrow night? And don’t say working because I simply wont accept that”
You cant help but let out a sound that’s halfway between a snort and a laugh. His forwardness could easily be mistaken for assholy-ness, if not for that voice of his.
“As of the moment, I’m not sure yet. Why?”
“I want to take you out”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I do. Somewhere real nice”
You sigh dramatically “I don’t knowwww”
“What don’t you know? The only thing you’ve gotta figure out is what you’re wearing tomorrow night, let me take care of everything else” His voice is a pull, an invisible rope that he’d lassoed you with- a noose, your dark humor thought.
“I don’t know…” You repeated again, even though you do. You really fucking do. You’re totally aware, that you were one hundred percent going to agree…but you had to make him beg, just a little bit. Didn’t you?
He shouldn’t have made you wait.
He groans, playfully into the receiver “C'mon, doll face. Don’t give me a hard time. I want to see ya’, don’t you want to see me?”
You hold the phone between your shoulder and ear as you arrange the banana’s, gnawing on your bottom lip. You did want to see him. So badly- these four days waiting had been shit-
“I might want to see you, a little bit” You admit ruefully and he chuckles.
“Good. Now, what time would work best for ya’?”
And just like that, you were agreeing to a date with Bucky Barnes. When you’d hung up with him, and immediately dialed Wanda, she’d snorted and told you that she “Fuckin’ told you so” and gave you a few more warnings before asking you what you were planning on wearing.
That is how a natural disaster struck your bedroom room. No, but really, it looked like a tornado had passed through the room the next night as you tore your closet apart, eagerly searching for something to wear. You liked to think your were a fashionable person; your size had never smothered your love for clothes or your personal style, but god almighty, it was like you had nothing to wear.
You’d already changed multiple times and stood in the middle of the chaos in just your lacy bra and high wasted shapewear, pinching your nose, reminding yourself to breathe.
All Bucky had said was dress up nice. He hadn’t told you where he’d been taking you, nothin’. Did he mean like floor length gown nice or jeans and a pair of stilettos nice? Fuck.
After all your strife, you end up in a fawn colored leather skirt and top duo- figuring that if he meant wear a damn ball gown he would have said so. Your hair falls over your shoulders, styled and smelling good and you’d taken care with your make up. All in all, you thought you looked pretty damn good as you dab at your lipstick in the mirror.
You get the itch- one that has to be scratched. A need of a high to calm your nerves, and you decide for a couple puffs on an old joint instead of the coke that you kept in your jewelry box.
You, as per usual, were late and you scrambled to throw on a pair of pumps, a spritz of perfume and grab your handbag as you whirl winded out of the room.
“You have fun tonight, little bird” Your Grandma Viv calls after you and you grin, trying not to feel guilty and kiss her on the head as you pass her in the living room on your way out. She thought you were going out to a nice dinner with some friends from school to celebrate the end of the semester…she’d have a coronary if she knew what you were really doing.
Grandma Viv was, at heart, still a true flower child. Sometimes you teased that she was still on that acid trip from Woodstock. She hated violence, and she despised gangs and the mafia. “They take little boys and promise them a family, and make them into killers”
She loved Wanda, only because she didn’t know her last name. “That girls gotta’ deadly pair of stems on her- what’s her obsession with coverin’ up her knees?”
If she even saw Bucky, and his car and his suits, oh she’d lose it. That’s why you’d asked him to park down the block. Yes, you were a grown woman who shouldn’t have to sneak around like some high schooler- but your Grandma’s health mattered to you, and you weren’t about to burry her because she’d gotten a load of you with a made man and dropped dead.
It’s a pretty night, mild and clear and your heels make clacking sounds on the pavement as you walk, your eyes eagerly searching the street for him-
You don’t have to look far. About halfway down the asphalt, you see him. He’s leaning against his parked car, a burning cigarette hanging lazily between his loose fingers. He looks like a sin, with his dark suit jacket and his patterned dress shirt that once again he wears with the top button popped, revealing a gold chain that you suspected costed the entirety of your monthly rent. He perks up when he sees you coming, the side of his mouth pulling into a grin and his eyes sparkling in the light from the street lamp.
“Look at'chu” He grins when you’re in ear shot and even though you try to bite on your smile it beams. “You look real beautiful tonight, doll”
“You don’t look so bad yourself”
He chuckles and flicks out his cig, stepping on it before ushering you over and into the car. He does it all gentleman like, opening the door, his hand on your lower back as he makes sure your comfortable before shutting it. His car is nice, of course. It somehow manages to look vintage and updated all at once, you run a finger along the fine leather seats as he drives.
He takes you a ways from Brooklyn, all the way to Manhattan, claiming that the lobster at the place you we’re going to was worth the commute through traffic.
“You do like seafood, don’t you? Fuck, I should'a probably asked-” He frets a little bit and it’s almost odd seeing the brick house of a man looking so unsure.
“I love seafood, don’t worry” You try to keep the laugh out of your voice “I mean I’m allergic to shellfish, but-”
“Oh shit”
You bust out laughing hard at the sullen look on his face, at the way he’d paled “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”
He makes a squawk at that, giving you a jesting glare “You’re not very nice, ya’ know”
“I never said I was” You manage between cracking up, wiping at the corner of your eyes to assure that your makeup didn’t smear due to the tears that had collected there.
“I guess I just assumed”
“Well you know what they say about assuming” You shrug one shoulder, but give him a sweet smile. That makes him bark out his own laugh, shaking his head at your antics.
“So are there any allergies I should know about? Real ones? Just for future reference” He makes conversation and you cant help that flip flop, flutter feeling in your chest. Future reference. You hadn’t even made it to your first date yet, and here he was. Making plans for the future. Were you freaked out or flattered? Both.
“Well unless your going to try and slip me a Trazadone, I think were good”
He chuckles again “No sleeping pills, got it”
The restaurant he takes you to is gorgeous, high scale. A few blocks away from Central Park. A Valet meets you at the curb and takes Bucky’s car as you walk to the entrance of the establishment.
It’s busy, obviously very in demand and your eyes don’t know where to focus. When someone almost bumps into you and you have do this shuffling act on your heels, Bucky’s hand goes to your waist, pulling you in closer to him.
“Reservation’s under?” The hostess asks, but you can barley hear her.
Truth be told, you’d never had a man treat you like this. The protective way that he held you was new and exhilarating.
“Barnes” He drawls and with that, the two of you are seated pretty damn fast. His large, leather glove covered palm doesn’t leave your curvy waist until you’re sat at the table. He takes his seat only after you’ve taken yours.
You cant stop looking around- it’s absolutely beautiful in here. From the chandeliers to the mod decoration. You’d been to some high end restaurants with Wanda and her family in the past few months but none had been as aesthetically pleasing as this. The waiter drops off your menu’s and you don’t recall having ever been attended to so fast before.
“You like it?” Bucky notices your eyes and you snap them back to his, a little sheepish at being caught ogling.
“I do, it’s gorgeous” You nod, picking up the menu. “You bring all the other girls here?” You tease, your eyes on the print and not on him.
“What other girls?” He asks, teasingly outraged and you scoff and roll your eyes.
“C'mon Bucky” You urge, just meeting his eyes about the edge of the menu. His are blazing, yours are kitten like “You think I’m not aware of your…reputation?”
He chews on that. Little do you know, no other woman had ever called him out like that, so boldly. On the first date none the less.
“We’ve all got a past, doll. I’m sure you’ve left a string of broken hearts behind ya’” He searches for the words, and jeeze, he’s so good with them.
You shake your head with a tut of your tongue “Not really”
“Now I call bullshit on that” Bucky leans forward and you have the urge to hide behind the menu, so you do. “You’re too beautiful. I’m sure there’s a dozen guys who hate even hearin’ your name cause you fucked em’ up so bad”
Had you ever been complimented so much? Most people assume bigger girls never get any attention, but that was never the case for you. You’d had boyfriends, flings. You’d always been “pretty enough”.
But Bucky looks at you like you’re the sun from the very start.
“Flatterer” You accuse, and he just bets if you’d lower that menu he’d see that pretty blush creeping up your neck…
“It’s all the truth, baby”
The waiter decides to take pity on your soul then and comes back to the table. Bucky orders a bottle of wine that just sounds like it costs fuck load.
“I hope you like red”
“I do” You smile.
He orders the lobster with herb butter and filet migon plate and you a seafood sampler plate. It’s all ridiculously decadent, the lobster just as buttery and rich as he’d promised and the two of you eat and drink until you feel like you’re going to bust a seam in your spanx. It’s fun, it’s easy.
Bucky seems to like your teasing, he isn’t rubbed the wrong way by it like some people were.
You talk, try to get to know him, even though every question that comes out of his mouth is centered on you. You tell him about school, that you’re majoring in “political economics” and he grins and asks what that’s like. He asks about your “job” and you relay stories about the bodega, which then turn into stories about your childhood, which then turn into stories about everything.
The two of you spend hours, at the table. Talking and digesting.
“You and Wanda are close” He notes and you nod.
“Yeah, I love her” You say simply because it’s the truth “She’s a good friend”
“And her brother? You close with him too?” He has that same look in his eyes that he’d had back at the bar the night that Pietro had interrupted you. It makes you shiver a little.
“You could say that. I mean there’s no Wanda without Pietro, is there?” You know you hadn’t answered his unasked question, but that was your intention. For one, even if you had, had a thing with Pietro(which fuck, you never would. You liked living your life STD free, thank you very much) it was none of his business. And two, maybe you liked that way he was looking at you.
Maybe you liked the idea of him getting jealous, no matter how dangerous you knew that might be.
“That’s right, it’s been that way since they we’re kids. Always the two of 'em” Bucky tells you a story of how they’d always been at their fathers feet during “meetings” as he called them.
“How old are you, exactly? I never asked?”
He chuckles “You scared I’m a geezer?”
“No, I’ve never had an issue with older men” Where the heeeeelllll did that come from. He brought out some hyper flirty side of you and you were going to need to watch your mouth(that already tended to get you into trouble) with him.
His eyes flash from yours to your lips and back up, his pupils flickering before he answers “I’m thirty two”
You cluck your tongue and scoff “And you’re over here acting like you’re soooo much older then us. You’re not even ten years older then me, Bucky”
“Nine years is nine years. You’re like a baby to me, huh?” He gives you a cat that ate the canary grin “Baby girl”
You could scream. Baby girl, coming out of his mouth it sounded like the dirtiest praise you’d ever received. You just shrugged and adverted your eyes, and hell, Bucky loved that little blush he watched blossom from the collar of your top up.
You decide not to get a dessert, claiming that you didn’t need chocolate and shrimp doing the tango in your stomach and he agrees and instead asks for the check. When it comes, you cant help but be curious at the amount. You could bet it was a pretty penny.
“Should I even ask?”
“No, doll. It’s none of your concern” He gives you an easy grin as he signs his signature and gives the man his card.
“That expensive?”
He shrugs “Completely worth it”, he’s happy to have earned that blush again.
After exiting the restaurant, back into the gorgeous weather, it hits you- just how much you don’t want this night to end. Dinner was over, and you honestly had no intention of letting him take you back to his place, at least not tonight…but you don’t want to go home. Not just yet.
“Let’s take a walk?” You suggest, even though your feet would probably hate you in the morning “Were right next to Central Park”
You think it’s the puppy dog eyes you make up at him that ensures his “I’m game”
It’s nice, just walking beside him. Having him so close you could feel the sparks of his body next to yours, and yet the two of you didn’t touch. You refrained from grabbing his hand so many times. He slows him self, his long legged strides to match your shorter legged, heeled ones.
“You grow up in the neighborhood?” You decide its time for him to answer a few of your questions, the ones that had been gnawing at you.
“I did. Brooklyn born and raised”
“Never wanted to do any traveling?”
“I spent enough time away when I was younger. I ,uh, I enlisted when I was eighteen” He reveals and you look over.
“Yeah? The army?”
“Yeah. I was stationed in Iraq for a few years til’ there was an accident” He holds up his gloved hand, but doesn’t elaborate and you’re not about to push. “I’m glad to be home, I love this city, ya’ know? Once you come to New York you never want to leave. It’s magic”
You giggle at the sincerity in his voice “I wouldn’t call it magic, but it’s got it’s charms”
“Everyone I love is in this city”
“Are you close with your parents?”
“Not as much…any more” Again, he only half answers “You? I know you live with your Grandma but what about your ma’ and dad?”
“Um, kind of? My mom lives in Arizona, but my dad’s just- not in the picture”
He nods and doesn’t press you about your answers either. You appreciate it. You don’t want to kill the vibe with all of this family drama.
He reaches in to his pocket to pull of the box of cancer sticks and pulls one out, lighting it up easily. He offers you one but you shake your head.
“The make me jittery” You explain and he chuckles as he takes a drag, a glint of gold showing from under his sleeve.
“That’s a nice watch you’ve got there, Sir” You point out, impressed “What is that, a Rollex?”
Bucky smiles, softly. With a shrug, as though he’s embarrassed you’d noticed it “Thanks, it’s 'aight”
He dipped himself in gold, and yet seemed to shrug about it when someone noticed? What even was that? He just…sparked your curiosity, in a way no one else really have. You were so curious about this man, you wanted to know him.
'I want to know you’ his words ring in your head.
“It’s more then alright, Mr. Humble”
“Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues” He tells you all matter of factly and it almost stops you in your tracks.
“Did you just quote Confucius to me?”
He looks equally shocked, brow crooked as he stares back “I’m surprised you picked it up”
Right then, you decide he’s not the man you thought he was. Quoting philosophers and being humble about his obvious wealth? Yeah, not what you were expecting at all.
After a half an hour walk your feet are hollering in your pinchy heels and he decides it’s time he get’s you home. The car ride is peaceful, filled with a quiet you’d never personally experienced. When ever people talked about “comfortable quiets” you would laugh at them because there couldn’t be anything comfortable about there not being a flow of conversation…but this was. The radio played softly and the breeze through the open windows whipped your hair lightly, he’d reached over about half way through the drive, his in gloved hand sliding along your thigh until it found yours. You’d smiled and held it, getting acclimated with his long fingers, with his bony knuckles you could tell had been broken a time or two before and the rough callus’ that contrasted with your own plump, satiny skin.
When he pulls back into the exact parking spot he’d been in when he’d pick you up(which you think is rare, because if you’ve ever been in New York you know it’s some kinda’ voodoo to park in the same place twice) he looks over at you. He’d had to pull his hand away to park the car and yours feel empty…
“What are you thinkin’ about?” His voice is low, like he doesn’t want to break the cristiline bubble you two are in and you smile wistfully as you lean your head back against the rest, never taking you eyes off of his.
I don’t want this to ever end.
I don’t want to go inside.
The moment you drive away, I know I’m going to miss the hell out of you.
Those were just a few of the many thoughts that rushed through your mind.
“I had a really good time tonight” Is what you choose to tell him though.
“So did I- I’m hopin’ you’ll let me take you out again”
“I might be open to negotiation”
He just grins, with a slight shake of his head “You’re somethin’ else, doll, you know that?”
You bite your lips then, because fuck, when he swallows his Addams apple bobs in a way that’s almost hypnotic. The tensing of his pretty jaw is the most beautiful thing.
“Doll?”
“Uh-huh?” your distracted, you can barley reply.
“I really want to fuckin’ kiss you right now”
Your whole body tenses and you try to take a labored breath. When had the two of you leaned in so close to each other? When he says this, all you can do is watch the way his lips move as the form the words. You cant speak, not with all the tension in your body.
“Let me kiss you?” It’s a plea and you just nod as his forehead clunks against yours and his nose nudges your cheek. Your breathing in what he’s exhaling and he tastes so good already.
“Baby, can I kiss you?” he presses on, wanting to hear you affirm him. Not with a nod, but with your voice.
“Please” You all but whimper and then he’s pressing his plump lips to yours and its wet and sweet and your eyes flutter closed as you try to zero in on nothing but this feeling. But the smell of his spicy cologne and the way his hand comes up to cup your jaw, leaving you gripping at his arm for dear life.
Your hearts hummingbirding as you suck on his bottom lip, as his tongue licks into his mouth, as his hand on your jaw goes to grip your hair in an vain attempt to pull your mouths closer together.
What was supposed to be a first kiss becomes a first make out of sorts and when you pull away to suck in a ragged breath, to somehow regain control of yourself , you lean heavily back against the seat. Two sets of ragged panting fill the air of the car and your chest heaves as your lungs work for needed oxygen. You don’t see the way his dark eyes watch your breasts rise and fall, because yours are fixed in front of you, a bit unfocused honestly.
“That was um-” You try to string together words.
“Amazin’?” Bucky answers for you and you let out a little laugh that’s almost hysterical and nod before daring to look back over at him.
“Yeah, something like that”
The tension starts to build the moment your eyes meet again and you know if you don’t get out of that car you’re just going to start right back up again.
“I should go” It’s barley audible, and you really, really don’t want to even say it.
“Let me walk you to your door?” Bucky offers but you decline. Not wanting your grandmother to see him.
“No, that’s okay. It’s literally just right there”
He pouts a bit at that, but sighs “At least let me kiss you one more time?”
You giggle and shake your head “No, that’s not a good idea”
“Why? C'monnnn” He drags out and you want to reach over and squeeze this known mafia man’s cheek. He was just too fucking cute.
“No, Bucky. I have to go and I don’t know if I’ll be able to if we start kissing again” You argue, gathering your bag, ready to exit the car.
“What about one? Just one more?”
How can you say no to those eyes of his? So you lean back over, slowly…but just before your lips re-connect with his you jerk, pressing them to his cheek instead.
“Goodnight Bucky”
You hear his groans over your triumphant laughter as you exit the car, shutting the door behind you. Feeling like you’re walking on air.
His window rolls down quick, so that he can holler to you as you cross the street. “Goodnight, baby girl!”
You think about that magic he’d talked about in the city earlier as you make your way up stairs- you feel that when you’re around him.
INTRO
PART ONE
@buchonians @papi-chulo-bucky @geekyweed @kelly96q @missrobyn81 @iamwarrenspeace @docharleythegeekqueen @beccavesper @buckysforeverprincess @yslbucky @plumfondler @prettybubblesintheair @4theluvofall @huntressxtimelady @curiositywillbethedeathofmee @welcometothelordsden @jacks-on-krack @peacefulwriter88 @thejenniferincident
I’m crying as I write this because I want a Bucky of my own. Ugh. So usually in my stories I like myself a good ol’ slow burn, but not with this one. I want their love to be wild and passionate and all consuming from the start.
Also, I’m writing Y/N as a confident plus size woman because we exist lol we wear skirts and men think were pretty! Gasps, I know. Shocking.
Give me some feedback! What are you guys thinking of this so far? Yes? No? I love reading your comments, like litterally, even the shortest comment slays me. Please gimme- lol I’m like a fairy, I need attention to live.
If you’d like to be tagged for this series let me know in the comments!
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galaxy-dusk · 7 years ago
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Shipping post!
For @tmntloversblog I hope you don’t mind me sending this here since it’s pretty long. Thank you for doing this! I’ve tried for years to figure out who I’d be best with and I’ve never been able to pick, so I’m sorry if this seems tricky!
I’ll start off easy with looks! I stand at 5’5”, have a curvy/chubby pear-shaped frame, and have multiple tiny scars littered around myself. My skin tone is a yellow tint of ivory, and I have chestnut colored hair and “hazel” eyes (mostly brown with green rimmed the edges and pupil. Best seen if a light is flashed in them). I have a nose stud on the right tip of my nostril and a beauty mark near the outer corner of my left eye. I’m told I’m fairly pretty, which I’ll live up to.
I normally wear splashes of lighter purples and blues with a pair of jeans and baggy hoodies or sweaters. My collarbone lengthen hair is almost always tugged up into a ponytail or held back by a headband.
My favorite colors are pastels of any sorts, and my favorite animal has to be a Western Swamp Tortoise (look at its cute little nose!!).
Onto my personality, I live up to my name (Gabrielle/Gabby) and tend to talk/rant a little too much… my mind runs constantly, and I can’t help it sometimes. I have a love for learning, especially about our world and us as human beings. I’m pretty knowledgeable in any type of Earth Science and Biology related things, but I’m not too good at Chemistry. Outer space is more of an aesthetic pleasure to me. It’s interesting, but not my cup of tea to learn about. I’m definitely the ‘mom friend’ of any and all friend groups I’m in, and tend to lead more than often. I tend to be optimistic towards everyone but pessimistic towards myself. I push myself to be the greatest, and maybe get too excited when given praise. It’s odd, to be honest, since I actually hate the lime light. I’d rather be “in the shadows” or on the side lines observing.
Hobby wise, I love arts and crafts. Drawing/sketching is a talent I once had but stopped for a while. Along with writing. I’m trying to now gain back my skills, and thankfully it’s slowing coming back to me. I like to build and take things apart, and I LOVE psychology (that’s counted as a hobby, right?)!! I like helping people and learning about them.
I’m not very easy to read and my come across as cold and “thinks with her brain” when in reality, I’m quite the opposite. I always, sadly, think with my heart and tend to give people more credit than they deserve. However, I do not trust easy and it takes a lot to break down my walls. I rather be on the side of someone’s story than a main character, if that makes sense. I’m here for you, but I’d rather you not be here for me. I’m… complicated. If you do bust down my walls, however, you’ll learn I’m a huge goofball who gets lonely easily. Huge animal lover and has plenty of facts, trivia and knowledge to share!
I hope this is enough info for you, I tried being as open and descriptive as possible! Have a lovely day sweetie, and be safe! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hmmm actually your good with all of them but I am going to Analyse as best as I could so I ship with…. Donnie with 95% matching Okay let’s start with your personality: -He loves that your a mom friend - you like to obseve and your love for knowledge. He will research some of the topics you like and just you 2 could cuddle and just talk about them all night. - And since your mom instincts tells you to pull him to bed (And sometimes you fail because he ‘cANT SEE WHATS WRONG WITH THIS THING’) you just stay beside him and observe and if ypu find something you 2 just fix it quickly and go to bed. -He loves your artistic side so he makes a special part of his lab and room for your needs. And he just randomly asks you for advice on some of his projects - you WILL have deep conversations and it always ends in silly topics -and you have to be prepared for extra super cheesy pickup lines and puns - he just loves your nose for some reason - give you all the kisses but most of them are nose kisses -he sometimes gets upset about being pisimistic about yourself so donnie tries to include youas mush as possible in his projects and every day life - when you first met after April introduced you to the guys you were a bit scared and you didn’t trust them for the first 5 minutes until mikey made his lil’ introduction. But for some wired reason donnie didnt like you for the first couple of times but it quickly went away and replaced with all mushy love♥ -the hacking love messages - you could be doing some work on your computer and it freezes and shuts down for a second and sudenly this digital ‘I LOVE YOU from your dork’ pops up♥ - for your birthday ( if you intrested in digital art) he would totally make you a personal tablet for you with all you can imagine in it for the other guys: Okay I think you are the family’s therapist so you would go and help them through anything -especially raph since he thinks that no one can understand him and he needs someone to talk to -you will be there to let him steam out his anger - and it actually works and it will affect him as he will be more calm than usual - you dont talk that mush to each other in public but you are just fine with that -donnie sometimes gets jealous from this and might end up fighting with raph -but dont you worry they will get over it soon… eventually. … maybe - you and mikey are the gaming champions -even if you dont like video games -art buddies -leo would be interested in Japanese art and writing -so you end up finding some thick paper and ink pen and just draw together -meditation classes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So what do you think? I am sorry this took so long to get out but I have a little surprise for you. I hope you like it♥♥
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littlebitoffanfic · 7 years ago
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Stay
Fandom: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Character: Donnie Relationship: Donnie/reader Request: will you write one where Donnie tried to get the reader to leave because he loves her and wants a better life for her but strugges because he loves her and doesn’t want to lose her. It was late when you finally arrived at the lair. You had been working most of the day and your feet were sore. You could barely keep your eyes open as you pushed on the door and stumbled through the entrance. To your surprise, there was light in the living room of the lair. It was a soft light from a small lamp by the sofas but a light nonetheless. You expected everyone to be in bed by now. Even with the brothers patrols, you shift normally finished well after they were in for the night. On the odd occasion when the five of you did enter together, no one spoke as you all made a b-line for your bedrooms. You had grown up in the lair with the boys. Splinter said you were abandoned in the street corner and he found you. The rest was history. Growing up with them was easy. What wasn’t easy was that you were able to go out and have a normal life when they were stuck down here. You loved them and you wanted them to be happy and live normal lifes. But you weren’t stupid. You closed the door over and walked further into the living room and saw Donnie sitting on the sofa. He seemed to be in a deep thought and didn’t seem to notice you come in. “Donnie?” You saw him jump when you said his name. “Why you still up?” “Just wanted to make sure you got back safely.” Donnie shrugged, getting to his feet and smiling at you. you smiled and nodded at him before letting out a yawn, “Im fine. Just tired. It was a busy night.” You stretched, batting your eyelashes slightly as you did so. “Why are you still here?” Donnie suddenly asked, making you freeze and look at him in utter confusion. “What do you mean?” You asked, tilting your head slightly. “Why do you stay? You have enough money for an apartment. You could leave. You should leave.” Donnie would not look you in the eyes. He didn’t seem to be able to. Your mouth fell open. First, you tried to speak, but all the breath had been sucked from your lungs as you stared at Donnie. your heart broke in two. It was hard to accept at first, but you loved him. You always had. You two had been the best of friends growing up and it was that friendship that grew for you. He was sweet, kind, thoughtful, intelligent and so much more. You admired him deeply and cared for him. If he asked anything of you, you would do it at the drop of a hat. He knew this. You two had each others backs in everything. It had been a long day. Your feet and head hurt and now your heart as well. You had just worked 14 hours in a bar and, while the tips were good, you hated it. The only reason you did it was so the family would have some money. Donnie played the stock exchange but nothing big so your income was really the only money you all had. You were tired but you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not after this. You dropped your gaze from him, your eyes becoming blurry with the tears that now formed. “I stay because I love you.” You mumbled, squeezing your eyes close and shaking your head. “But you could have a normal life! You could-“ Donnie trailed off as he finally looked up and instantly saw the tears cascading down your cheek. “y/n]?” he mumbled before darting to your side, but you were quicker. you stumbled back, pushing him away from you as your sadness turned to anger. “I stayed because of you! I stayed to help the family! I stayed because I loved you, because im IN love with you.” You growled as more and more tears ran down your cheek. You turned and bolted to your room. Donnie stood frozen in the living room for a moment before following you, but he was too later. You slammed your door and locked it before pressing your weight against it and sliding to the ground as a number of small gasps left your lips. You heard him trying to get in and felt the door move slightly but it didn’t give. You were thankful for that but you wished the door was soundproof as you heard him mumbling and whining your name in a desperate attempt to persuade you to open your door. You passed out on the floor, your cheeks wet with tears. ---------------------time skip------------------- When you woke up in the morning, things didn’t feel brighter or better like they normally did after a bad night. You pulled out your phone and unlocked it. As you did this, you pushed yourself up and stumbled over to your bed. In your bank account was just over $10,000 of savings, some from working but most from when Donnie had doubled your money on the stock market. Next, you went to search the internet. In a couple of minutes, you found a small hotel just around the corner with plenty of rooms. From there, you found a small apartment that would be avalible at the end of the month. Sighing, you got back onto your sore feet and started to pack. You packed your best clothes, work stuff, your personal things and small bits and bobs from your room. You had grown up in this room. And now you would be moving out. You were nearly done packing when you heard a timid knock at your door. For a moment, you considered ignoring it, but it could be Splinter. So you decided to unlock the door. Instantly, you regretted it as your eyes met Donnies. For a moment, you were frozen to the spot, his words running through your mind as you shook your head and tried to shut the door. Donnie leapt forward and wedged his foot in your door. “You don’t need to worry, anymore. Ive found an apartment. Im leaving.” You frowned, giving up on the door and turning back to pack. Donnie stepped inside your room, silently, as he watched you folding clothes and putting them in a large case. “You’ll be happier.” He finally spoke, his voice filled with sadness. But his words made you freeze as you held one of your favourite dresses in your arms. “I was happy here.” You mumbled, your eyes filling with more tears. You closed your eyes and raised the dress to cover your face as you cried. “Did- did you just pretend to like me?” you asked, your voice mumbled by the dress but he heard you loud and clear. “I don’t like you.” Donnies words cut you deeply as your hands dropped your dress and your gaze snapped to meet his. You were about to scream at him and break down, but then you saw tears in his eyes. “I love you.” Donnie looked you in the eyes for the first time since last night. “But you deserve more than this.” He swiped his hand across the room. “you could have a normal life. You could get married and have children. You could have everything I cant give you. I want you to be happy.” “And what about what I want?” You looked at him with wide eyes, tears falling down your cheek. Donnie gritted his teeth, frowning. “Is this what you want? To be stuck in the sewers with a bunch of mutants for the rest of your life? To always be in danger? God, [y/n], I-I cant give you anything.” Donnie broke down, his voice breaking as he gestured wildly with his hands. “I wish I could, I really do.” there was a long silence as Donnie took deep breaths to calm himself. “I’ll leave. But give me one thing. And I’ll go without another word.” You finally said, closing your eyes as you gathered the courage. “I’ll give you anything.” Donnie mumbled. “A kiss.” You breathed, looking up at him from beneath your eyelashes. Donnie froze at your words for a moment, watching your face as if to see if you were joking or if you were being serious. “One kiss, and I’ll leave. And I wont come back, if that’s what you want.” You explained, gesturing to the suitcase. Donnie took a deep breath, before darting to you. One of his hands cupped your cheek while the other arm wrapped easily around your waist. His lips were then pressed against yours and he kissed you. Despite the sadness and despair you felt, a rush of warm ran through your veins as you kissed him back. The kiss was passionate, much more than you ever thought it could have been. You expected a quick peck on the lips but this wasn’t that. This was fiery and emotional as you were pulled against his chest. You couldn’t help but cry into the kiss. that was the reason you pulled away from the kiss to take a deep breath and sob. He pulled you against his chest, your forehead resting on his shoulder as you cried against him. His arms were shaking as he engulfed you and pressed his lips to the top of your head. But all good things had to come to an end and you were the first to pull out of the embrace. You wiped your eyes and turned away from to walk back to your suitcase. “Can you pass up my dress?” you called over your shoulder to him as your voice broke. After a few moments of silence, you glanced over your shoulder to see him gripping the dress in his hands, staring down at it. “Why did you want… that?” He asked, not looking up at you. “Because its my favourite dress.” You answered, a little confused. But then you saw him smile and shake his head. “No, I mean the kiss.” He looked up to you and instantly saw the blush spread across your cheeks. “I just wanted my first kiss to be with someone I loved.” You shrugged in an attempt to cover the fact it broke your heart. “This- this apartment you’ve found. Is it nice?” he asked, looking from you to the dress and back. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen it. Only found it this morning. But I’ll stay in a hotel until I find somewhere.” You explained, looking away from Donnie. “Stay.” Donnie suddenly said, making you jump. “you’ve just spent the majority of your time with me telling me I should leave.” You snapped, confused by his actions. He winced. “I know. I know. I-I-, just stay. Until you get somewhere. Stay here with me.” Donnie stammered as he pleaded with you, only adding to your confusion. “You want me to leave and then to stay? I don’t get it, Donnie. I cant deal with this! What do you want me to do? Leave or stay?” You threw your hands up in frustration. “I-I want you to stay. But im selfish. I should want whats best for you and whats best is for you to leave. But I don’t want you to forget me. I don’t want to forget what you look like for how your voice sounds or your laughter. I don’t think I can ever stop loving you and that scares me because I cant be logical about you. With you, I think with my heart than with my head and I cant do that! You’ll get hurt. That’s kiss… I thought I could do this. I thought I would be fine because you would be safe and happy. Im sorry, god, im sorry.” This was the thing that broke Donnie as he collapsed to the floor, his head in his hands. you fell to your knees in front of him, almost unable to believe what he had said. He had poured his heart and soul to you. you wrapped your arms around his shaking shoulders. “I just want you to be happy” He sobbed. “Im happiest when im with you.” You whispered to him, and you slowly felt him calm down until you sat back up on his knees to look at you. “You know, theres no point leaving if you haven’t got a flat yet.” Donnie mumbled, looking past you and to your suitcase. Instantly, you knew what he was doing. It was a sort of game the two of you played in a way to get your own way. Like when you both wanted to sneak out, one would say something like ‘oh, you know there really should be another patrol tonight’ or when you wanted to order food it was ‘you know, we need the energy’. It was a game you very much enjoyed, especially when the two of you had to think of funnier or more outrageous reasons. “No, I guess youre right. Don’t know who I could end up living next to.” You pretended to muse as you raised your eyebrows. “Yeah, you might end up next to Shredder or something. We should really do proper back ground checks on any neighbours.” Donnie couldn’t help but smile because he knew you had caught on and you were now going with it. You couldn’t help but giggle, but that giggle turned into laughter as Donnie joined in. you clasped your hand over your mouth as you tried to stifle your laughter. An arm wrapped around your waist and you were pulled against Donnie chest. “I’ll never upset you again.” Donnie mumbled the promise to you, looking deep into your eyes. As if to seal the promise, he ducked his head and pressed his lips against your lips but froze and pulled back, wide eyes as if he was scared he had stepped over the line. You couldn’t help but smile as you went up on your tip toes to kiss him again. This time, Donnie relaxed and fully kissed you back. This kiss was a lot more relaxed than before. It was almost filled with content and relief as you were pulled to sit on his lap. Eventually, you had to pull away for air and the two of you started to stand up. Unfortunately, because you had slept on the floor last night, your back was sore and you must have moved in a strange way because you let out a gasp of pain. Donnie instantly placed his arms around, as if he feared you would collapse. “whats wrong?” he asked, his voice worried. “No, its fine. I fell asleep on the floor last night and I must have lay a weird way. My backs hurting.” You explained, seeing him wince and shoot you an apologetic look. “Maybe you should lie down?” He suggested and moved away from you to place the suitcase on the floor, leaving your king sized bed clear. Since all the others had to alter and make special beds for their shells and the way its easiest to sleep, it was agreed you could have a king sized bed. “Will you stay?” You asked, walking over and taking Donnies hand in your own, squeezing it slightly. You saw a light blush spread across his cheeks as a small smile dawned his lips. “Of course.” He answered, pulling back the covers and allowing you to climb in first before following. You didn’t know how long you lay in his arms for. It seemed so natural to be wrapped in his warm embrace like this that sleep came not too long after you lay down. But you remembered waking up slightly and noticing how cosy and comfortable it felt before nodding back. It was only when Mikey burst in the room with pancakes did you both fully wake up again. It took a little bit to convince Mikey not to say anything to anyone about both you being in bed with Donnie and the suitcase that was lying open on the floor. In the end, he agreed but only when Donnie promised to make him a new feature for his skateboard. One thing you did like was that Donnie didn’t jump up out of bed when Mikey had come in the room. He didn’t try to deny it or every cover it up. He was very open about everything and even spoke with an air of pride that made you smile. It was at the moment, you knew there was no way you could ever leave. You had to stay.
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tmnt-fangirl101 · 8 years ago
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TMNT Fic Evermore 2k16 Raph x Reader
My first TMNT one shot fic ever. I hope you guys like it. I hope to write more in the future.
Summary: you’re dating the rebel Raphael. You miss home but a certain turtle is worried you may leave him and go back home and leave him forever.
Y/N- Your name
S/N- State name
Song: Evermore (Beauty and the Beast)
Warnings: none
Enjoy :)
You lived in New York for about a year now and this there were times where you missed your family. You had no friends or family in New York with you so its natural you start missing them. You went down to the lair to see a certain big, green, red clad turtle ninja who was also your boyfriend. It hadn’t been long since the two of started officially dating. You were always so happy and excited to see him when ever you went and visit but something was different about you today, you didn’t seem so happy.
“Hey tiger ya doing alright?” He asked you. You look down to your feet fiddling with your fingers for the past 15 minutes trying to think of something to say. You look back up to meet his golden green eyes as he gazes deeply in yours. “(Y/N) are you okay? You’re not your usual self..” He asks. 
“I’m fine” you say “its just…I guess i’m just feeling a little home sick is all…” you say. “Home sick?” He asks.
“Yes I miss my family from back home. I want to go visit them soon but not sure when that will be.” You turn your gaze from him too sad to look into his eyes.
Of course he wanted you to be happy and go back and see them. So he does what any good boyfriend would do to comfort you. He took your hand gently and raised it to his chest.
“Then you should go be with them..” you look up at him in shock. Did he really just say what you think he said?
“What?” You asked still a bit confused and shocked.
“You should go to them, if you miss your family, Id never want to keep you away from something so important to you.
“But-” you were about to retort then you were hushed by a giant green finger to your mouth.
“Ill be alright, but you should go be with them, that’s where you need to be ill see you when you get back.” He smiled at you reassuring you it was okay.
You took his hand and raised it to your the left side of your cheek to feel his warmth. “Alright i’m leaving in a few days, ill miss you” you said as you smiled up at him and returned one back to you before he leaned down to kiss you on your lips.
It was the next day and it was time for you to get going back to where you came from to visit your family. You were excited but nervous to see them. You missed them so much and they missed you. But you hoped the visited would be everything you hopped for. Since the boys could only come out at night to do patrolling you waited till night fall so they could see you off. Lucky for you your flight was leaving at night anyway so it wasn’t a big deal at all. Plus it would give you more time with your turtle boyfriend before you left.
“Are ya excited” he asked as he looked at you sitting on his workout bench. He just got through doing a really heavy work out.
“Yea I guess I am, just a bit nervous.” You admittingly say to him as you looked down to your feet.
“Don’t worry i’m sure your family misses you as much as you miss them.” He said.
“Yea but I cant help but feel something may go wrong. What if the visit wont go well?” You look at him searching for some for some reassurance. He looked deeply in your eyes and held you tightly in his strong arms.
“The visit will go well, I promise.” He said.
“Thanks Raph.” you say as you placed a light kiss on his cheek.
Night approached and you were all had arrived at the New York airport. Casey and April were there for support and made sure you got on the plane safely.
“Well this is my stop.” you tell everyone as they look at you with sadness in their eyes but understanding.
“Wow I cant believe you’re really leaving us” the orange clad ninja turtle says to you.
“I’m not leaving to stay Mikey i’m going to visit. I’ll be back soon I promise, the visit is just two weeks long.
“Okay well while you’re there bring me back a souvenir from there!” He gets happy again.
“Will do Mikey.” You smile and laugh a little.
“Thanks Angel cake’s.” He says as he pulls you in for a big hug.
“We’re gonna miss you while you’re gone.” Leo says as he smiles at you.
“I’m gonna miss you guys too. You’re all like my second family.” You tell him.
“Tell us all about the adventure you had back at home.” Donnie said.
“Yea we wanna hear everything when you get back.” Mikey said.
“Don’t worry guys I will.” You said giving them a smile. You said your goodbyes to April and Casey and finally went to your boyfriend.
 You both just stare at each other for a minute not saying a word. “So…” Raph finally says trying to break the silence between the two of you. “Are ya still a bit nervous?” He asked you.
“Yea I am, but I know i’ll be okay.” You say looking up into his eyes. You both give each other a big hug. Raph knew the right thing to do was to let you go back and visit your family right?
But what if you missed your family so much you end up moving there permanently and forget all about your other family at New York. Surely you wouldn’t. You made a new life there. You can’t just abandon them..abandon him. Raph was starting to think hard about the whole thing but didn’t want you to worry about anything.
(I was the one who had it all. I was the master of my fate. I never needed anybody in my life. I learned the truth too late.)
You look at him one last time as you walk inside the airport with April and Casey as the boys watch to make sure you get in.
(I’ll never shake away the pain. I close my eyes but she’s still there. I let her steal into my melancholy heart. It’s more than I can bear.)
You give Casey and April one last goodbye hug as they escort you to your plane safely. Raph climbed on top of the building and leaps on the roof making sure you get on the plane safely.
(Now I know she’ll never leave me. Even as she runs away. She will still torment me. Calm me hurt me, move me, come what may. Wasting in my lonely tower, waiting by an open door. Ill fool myself she’ll walk right in. And be with me forever more.)
(I rage against the trials of love. I curse the fading of the light.)
He watches as your plane takes off.
(Though shes already flown so far beyond my reach. Shes never out of site)
(Now I know she’ll never leave me. Even as she runs away. She will still inspire me be apart of everything I do. Wasting in my lonely tower. Waiting by an open door. Ill fool myself she’ll walk right in. And as the long ling nights begin. Ill think think of all that might have been. Waiting here forever more!)
Those two weeks had passed but to Raph it seemed like an eternity since you left. Tomorrow would be the day you finally come back from your trip and the boys were ecstatic to see you. Though you guys did communicate everyday and sent texts it just wasn’t the same as seeing you in person. Though as excited Raph was too he couldn’t help but feel you’d never come back or worse you tell them you want to move back there forever. He just couldn’t take it, so he goes to the one place he feels more comfortable at. The gym.
Leo walks in and sees his brother. “Hey aren’t you excited? (Y/N) is finally coming back!” Leo tells his brother.
Raph sits up on his bench whipping the sweat from his head. “Yea” he says not saying anything else.
Leo gave him a look of confusion. “You don’t sound too excited like the rest of us” he says still looking at Raph.
Raph gets up from his bench and walks out ignoring his brother. He did miss you he was just nervous seeing you again. What if you didn’t love him anymore? What everything wasn’t the same? What if you really wanted to stay there? He couldn’t get that out his mind.
You had just arrived from the airport and Casey and April were there to greet you and take you back to your apartment.
“So how was the trip back to (S/N)?” Asked Casey.
“It was great I got to see everyone I missed and it was just great being back there. I really needed that.” You replied.
“It must be hard being away hundreds of miles away from home like that.” April said.
“Though as much as I missed everyone back at home I did miss everyone here. You all have become a second family to me.”
“We feel the same way too.” April said and Casey agreed.
After you got settled in back at your apartment you were anxious to get over to the lair and see everyone again. Even a certain green turtle you missed so much. When you arrived you were greeted a certain orange banded turtle.
“ANGEL CAKE’S!” He says as he runs up and hugs you and you return the hug.
“Hey Mikey.” You laugh and smile up at him. “How are you?” You ask him.
“I’m doing better now that you’re back babe.” He says.
“Aww i’m glad. Where is everyone?” You ask.
“Splinters watering his garden, Leos in the dojo meditating, Donnie’s in his lab and Raph is probably working out in the gym.” He says.
As if on timing Leo and Donnie both stopped what they’re doing and came into the living room. They both rushed over to you and hugged you.
“(Y/N) you’re back!” Leo said excitedly as he let you go.
“How was (S/N)?” Donnie asked.
“It was wonderful. I really enjoyed my visit. And it was nice seeing everyone again. But I missed here it here even more, because of you guys.” You smile at them. “Wheres Raph?” You ask.
“Last time I saw him he was in the gym.” He said.
“Thank you.” You say as you rush right over to the gym.
“Raph!” You scream his name as hes still lifting weights. “Raph its me!” He ignores you and continues lifting. “RAPHAEL!” You scream his full name and you wonder if you did something wrong. “Raph why are you ignoring me?!” You were starting to get a bit frustrated. He got up and walked toward the door not once looking at you. You follow after him.
“Raphael whats wrong with you? Aren’t you happy to see me?” He stops as you get in front of him. Seriously whats gotten into him? Why was he acting like you don’t even exist? “Why are you being such a jerk? Am I not important to you anymore? Are you over me? Did I..did I do something wrong?” You were starting to get teary eyed and he instantly felt bad.
“(Y/N) no no ya didn’t I-I’m sorry. It’s just… -sigh-.”
“Just what? What did I do for you to ignore me and make me feel like this?! You made me feel like I did something completely wrong!” You yell at him and start walking away until you were pulled into big strong arms.
“I’m sorry (Y/N) I was afraid.. He said.”
“Afraid of what?” You look back up at him showing concern.
“That ya were gonna move back home and leave me fa good.” He admitted as he looked down on the ground.
You were looking sad and instantly felt bad and grabbed his hand gently. “Raph that would never happen. You’re very important to me and I never want to let you go.”
“Really?” He said as he looked up at you.
“Really.” You say. “I love you Red.” You tell him as you looked deeply into his eyes.
“I love ya too babe..forevamore”
With that he pulled you in for a kiss and you two stayed there holding each other for 20 minutes.
The End.
Well what do you all think? Kind criticism is appreciated. This is my first fic on here ever. I know I still have a lot of work to do but I only hope to get better. Let me know what you guys think thanks. :)
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