#don't mind me just familial pain
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skyrim-forever · 20 days ago
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tw: grief
Grief is so strange. I bought a Toblerone bar because it's Christmas and I have a fond memory of splitting one with my uncle and cousin while he tried to teach us to count cards (typical uncle behaviour) on Christmas Eve.
But the chocolate isn't the same, the triangle pieces spread farther apart because skrinkflation has gotten to everything. The taste cheap and not as sweet as I remembered but that could just be adulthood.
I see my cousin once every few years now, the love still there but I had to move away, too much pain in my hometown. Even being in the province is too close.
And my uncle has been dead for 4 years now.
Every Christmas I cry at some point, normally over my mom, my half-brother, the guilt for moving away but knowing staying was not an option. Now it seems I feel sad about my uncle too, unlocking more grief after years. My mom will be spending her 8th Christmas alone but she's says she's okay, that she's been alone all her life.
Nothing hurts quite like family
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gaytommykinard · 5 months ago
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idk if buddie shippers know this but buck and eddie don't need to date for buck and eddie and chris to be a family like that's how non-nuclear families work. even if buck is dating tommy and if and when they start a family that doesn't negate the fact that eddie has leaned on buck or that he's an important person in christopher's life. and more importantly that doesn't mean buck isn't allowed to create his own family with tommy.
one thing 911 has got right again and again is showing non-nuclear families. eddie has been a single father with a solid support system including buck, carla, tia pepa and his abuela, since season 2. that's a non nuclear family.
there's also athena and michael divorcing and coparenting may and harry with bobby and david as sort-of stepdads. that's a blended queer family. (and i know that michael and david are no longer part of the show but if you're looking for a childless queer couple...)
hen and karen adopted denny and fostered nia, fostered other kids short-term, fostered mara with the intention to adopt - then when that fuckass ortiz got mara removed from her family, chimney and maddie, biological parents to jee-yun, stepped in and are fostering mara until hen and karen can sort out the matter.
there's literally not a single "mom and dad and two kids and a half kids and a cat and a dog" nuclear family portrayal on the show. it's great.
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sn0wbat · 1 year ago
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well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s
EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!
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BONUS:
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widowshill · 3 months ago
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— And do you or do you not have difficulty remembering such simple instructions? — Only during thunderstorms, sir.
THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) / DARK SHADOWS (1966)
#don't mind me just absolutely insane about the possibility (probability!) that vicki saw tsom the year before coming to collinwood.#the boom mic in the stairs shot is always cracking me up.#finally me and you and you and me just us and your friend steve (the boom mic operator)#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure,miss winters.#gifs.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.#➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows.#there's obviously far; far less of a christian overtone in ds — but i wonder if you couldn't make the argument that it isn't also#on some level about belief?#belief; namely; in the ghosts that roger resists and vicki with both arms embraces;#faith in the not-so-minor deity liz stoddard; choosing to follow her doctrine even in the face of conflicting truth.#one might consider collinsport a faithful congregation taking sermons from the mount — from the mouth of the reclusive ascetic;#conveyed by loyal (devastatingly; sacrificially loyal) disciples.#and vicki; searching for belonging; for a home; for a family; falls very lamb-like into the flock.#all old gods of course demand their sacrifices in blood: burke; namely; but also matthew; bill; roger (so-attempted)#if i were pushing it (which I always am) you could go so far as to say collinwood's son rises from the tomb.#''but the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night'' etc etc. demanding; first; sacrificial livestock; then virgin blood.#anyway! I digress.#''they say confession is good for the soul. well; my soul needs purifying.''#vicki as the prototypical virgin — the clean slate without history; clear water with neither dirt nor blood —#in which roger cleanses himself (somewhat forcefully!); to wash away guilt and suspicion;#the force of virtue that prevents the intrusion of sin; either through the wood of the confessional or very literally at her bedroom door.#''an innate sense of goodness'' etc; besides being something of a conduit between this world and the next:#re. the seances; the appearances of josette and bill; the various and varied encounters with supernatural; the time travel;#as one might expect of an angel ... or a saint. and one could argue that she goes on to restore roger's faith —#if not in the goodness of the world at large; then the existence of goodness; or in the worth of belief itself.#anyway. long way of saying i love man x his governess whether it's catholic or satanic. sign me up.
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deoidesign · 5 months ago
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I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.
same disability (waving hand emoji)
Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me
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crimeronan · 8 months ago
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tonight i found out that the woman in my irl writing group who clocked that devin is trans several months back actually has an adult trans daughter of her own! and i got way too excited about it. me out here flapping like omg omg omg did you know i love trans women and being gay So Fucking Much. (as if..... this wasn't obvious already.)
anyway writing group knows i'm a she/they now.
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thr4shit · 8 days ago
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I'm tired of the memories of being looked on in pity...
I don't want us PITIED.
Stop reminding me of Her pathetic, false PITY.
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todayisafridaynight · 10 months ago
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sorry if you've already been asked this but what did you think about eiji in iw? like idk i feel like they were trying to recreate a masato and ichi moment without actually having any of the elements that made their relationship narratively compelling.
as a whole, i thought eiji was at least a nice 'how he wished things couldve been' for ichi in regards to masato, but still being independent enough from the masato comparison to stand on his own as a character (or at least as an antagonist. his actions wasn't what was reminding me he was a masato parallel, but more so ichi's insistence he help him). i think thats why ichi and eiji's relationship don't have the same 'elements' that make their relationship interesting like masato and ichi's
#iw spoilers#not really but lol#snap chats#like what made masato and ichi interesting was their family dynamic and how they were narrative foils to each other#eiji isn't supposed to be that. both in-universe and meta wise he's just meant to remind ichi of masato not wholly replace him#and not replace who masato was in ichi's life. just yk. trick him for a bit fJALKAJ#i mean sure you can still find their relationship uninteresting with that in mind so just to me i thought it was cute at the very least#at least in that you can see ichi trying his hardest to connect with eiji#like you can tell he just doesn't want history to repeat even if he's mostly projecting his fears onto eiji#and the situation is not. equivocal LMAO but i digress#i don't feel strongly about eiji one way or another- i mean i liked how it was easy to tell he was going to be an antagonist vjlKJAJ#i dont mind that kind of thing though. i like being able to pick up on things being Not Right with a character or situation#so it was neat seeing how that culminated. still confused on what he was blackmailing chitose with but i assume it's family related#sometimes i think about how beau says eiji and ebina were meant to be rgg feeling bad about killing aoki and it makes me chortle vjalkvjla#anyway thats the end of my eiji prattle. oh ps i like how he actually had a chair that doesnt look painful to sit in#veyr cringe he turned out Not to be disabled but listen if i start talking about masato's disability again im gonna lose my mind#as i frantically close my thirty tabs about lung diseases/conditions and lung transplants and patients' anecdotes post operation
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fromtheseventhhell · 2 months ago
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They're so twins-coded
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#don't mind me y'all my childhood love for Hinata just came rushing back STRONG and I love connecting my favorite female characters#the gag is they actually have a lot of similarities when you think about it...#love my low self-esteem girls who feel like outcasts in their own families because they don't fulfill a role correctly 🫶🏾#(including a difficult relationship with a sister fostered by unfair comparisons)#Hinata standing up to Pain to protect Naruto...Arya standing up to Joffrey to protect Micah...it's all connected 😁#hell you could even compare hinata/naruto to arya/jon because they're all outcasts with mutual respect + support for the other#also funny that Hinata gets hate for being too /feminine/ and weak-willed while Arya gets hate for being too /masculine/ and strong-willed#cause female characters truly can't win and will get misogynistic hate that people love to justify regardless of how they're written#my girlies are really tethered! we love iconic female characters who make insecure losers upset!#now that I'm thinking about it Arya with the Byakugan + her canon skillset would actually eat so bad omg#I just know they'd get along well and be besties 🤭 they'd train together + help encourage each other...bring real sisterhood back!#born to be twins forced to exist in separate fictional universes 😔#Hinata being a side character will always gag me because her development is better than some of the characters with double her screentime#no wonder she became one of the most iconic/popular characters of the series...see what happens when you're that girl? 🤭
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alligaytorswamp · 1 year ago
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Im kind of feeling like i can't take it anymore
#vent#bad sad sleep-deprived and mentally ill#i am currently crying myself to sleep just fucking sobbing because everything hurts#my brain is failing me my body us failing me#i dont know what to do with myself#so many things are happening so many things hurt and i have no body to talk to#i have never felt so utterly alone#i hate myself for even writing this because i feel so pathetic and as if im just whining for attention#because i probably am#some lame ass cry for help because i really don't know how to function at this point#truly i am just so fucking alone#and there is just so much that is happening and i cant share it with anyone so it just all stays in my stupid brain and#probably makes me more mentally ill or smth#and for however long all i do is keep myself from crying during the day bc i cant let my family catch me having mental breakdowns#yet i have all of these painful thoughts that are plaguing my mind all the fucking time#i am just so so tired#and i keep thinking about death and it's so fucking scary#i just wish i wasn't myself and i had a different brain i could be better than this because maybe then i would be fine#at home im in toxic hell#in online spaces i have no one actually close to me#in my brain i have horrible thoughts and hardcore daydreaming distactions that dont fix anything#in my course i think im not doing well enough and im scare dthat my the end of it im still going to be a useless unemployed moron#on my silly blog i think if i dont make content i have no value and ehatever i make is not even that good or interesting#so i better cover it up with quantity but i dont have time or ability to do so#which again makes me into a fucking Nothing#god my head hurts so much#that's what u get for wailing at 4 am#anyways i am doing horrible and i can't take it anymore truly reaching my fucking limit#all my fault tho so ☺#delete later and if someone actually reads it Um sorry for this i am hashtag unwell 😋💫
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savage-rhi · 2 years ago
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🫂😪
#hey I've been on a bit of a hiatus with writing and other projects#answering this cause ive had some anons asking for updates on drabble requests#leaving a toxic job that I endured for a year#getting a new job and new enviornment#finding out I had a whole ass other family I didn't know existed#and trying to keep up with the cost of living has taken a huge toll#on my mental health and wellbeing#to the point where I had to take time off my new job and go on a peer respite#i got back the other day and I'm doing better#but my mental health isn't 100%#and my chronic pain has been fluctuating a lot cause of stress#i know i don't owe anyone details about what i go through#but i like being transparent#and this makes it easier than answering 6-10 anons asking me for an update#i am not sure when im gonna fulfill drabble requests but they'll come when they come#and you can keep sending in stuff i dont mind it at all#just know i gotta take care of me right now#and I'll be slower answering stuff#take care of your mental health and bodies the best you can#im always rooting for ya#and to end on a good note#i got accepted into a masters program for clinical counseling and therapy#only 25 people could get in and somehow i got it#idk how im gonna get financial aid for it but im gonna try#im excited and nervous#i might have more vo stuff coming too idk yet but im trying not to do too much at once#if yall could do me a solid and drop something cool in the comments and let me know how your life is going id love that#especially if you got good news to share#i could use more of that right now#love you guys and here's a hug and a biscuit from me
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icharchivist · 1 year ago
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"Percy villain arc", does Aglovale mean nothing to you people
You're right though, it would be funny to see Percy go truly evil. The fire association is super common in villains. Making it hot in several senses. You're completely valid
LIKE I SAID -- it's about a different type of villainy!! the brothers may look alike but they're not interchangeable!!!!
Aglovale's villainy came from an hatred of all of humanity, a desire to control people out of fear, and a desire to get his family back, including his mother.
Lamorak's villainy came from selflessness, a desire to help absolutely everyone who ever experienced massive heart pain that can only be solved by revenge, a savior complex so big he ends up helping the most dangerous of people, while putting himself in danger and therefore also keeping his family as far away as possible from him so he doesn't get swayed into going back on his words.
A Percival's villainy arc would never be like Aglovale's because Percival never let go of his desire to see good in people, and he wouldn't keep his family away like Lamorak.
Like i said i do think it's a bit hard to see a path to villainy Percival can take when his brothers went to both different extreme to start with. I think what makes Percival's arc strong is that he's not tempted by snapping, and that he is holding strong despite the fact he sees how his brothers are torn apart by the same trauma they all share.
I personally love the fact Percival doesn't seem to be in any situation to snap, but i like thinking about what if he did actually go apeshit. What if he got tired of fixing his brothers' shit. He's constantly having to clean up after them because they mishandled their trauma while he is trying so hard to make it something productive.
And it's not like Percival doesn't have a mean edge. Remember when he insulted Lancelot when they found him in a cell after he's been tortured, because Lancelot "only had himself to blame" for turning a blind eye to the wrongs of the King? and that it essentially came from how he's been hurt that Lancelot abandonned him during the Siegfried's debacle and the fact Lancelot blindly supporting people in position of power rather than getting to the bottom of something was something Percival found reprehensible. (i have many thoughts about this).
That's why i think two componants to break Percival is if the weight of his brothers' sins get lifted off his back, so he's less alert to his own shortcomings as he's no longer in this state of survival about holding his family together, and losing MC, which would set him in a situation of thinking "despite everything i do i still lose the people i care about." (especially, once again, because MC is the only person who never disappointed Percival, which is why Percival always was so unconditional in his way to be attached to MC, in ways even the Dragon Knights nor his Brothers can live up to.)
It's like "you can do everything right and still lose", in comparaison to his brothers who just did things wrong.
how do you deal? how do you cope? this grief was supposed to stay in the past, yet whatever you do it still comes back to catch up on you.
there's a potential there that is completely unlike what Aglovale and Lamorak went through in their own villain arcs, and it's what i'd personally explore if we give Percival an evil arc.
It'd be hot! especially if it's about MC which i have totally neutral reasons to want personally obviously.
But as it is i just really like the idea of him being the only one to keep things together while the familial trauma is destroying the rest of his family. Feels nice feels organic and i'm just genuinely invested in this storyline, is all!
#between you and me though there's also sort of the fact i relate to Percival's position in his family#as the youngest of three and the fact my siblings are a hot mess in term of the family's bagages and trauma we have#trying desperately to hold on together and take all of the responsibilities when your older siblings fall apart#while being in a position where you should be vulnerable// where your siblings see you as vulnerable and yet add more pain to your load#and this idea of how wanting so bad not to fuck up like your older siblings did#is already something that is its own weight on to itself#but one that can easily crush you down and make you wonder why even bother when in the end it's for nothing#and this is the feeling i'm canalizing for Percival's evil arc that i can't have just from his siblings arc#and like ofc this is not exactly what Percival goes through in the sense that he didn't expect having to clean up after them like that#but it's one that ends up resonating a lot once the stories are over and you see how much he has to deal with all of this#also don't mind me i'm being Super Normal about the Wales brothers#just one day a friend pointed out that there were similarities between my siblings and theirs and suddenly my world came crashing down#and i realized just why BFAF left such a huge impact on me despite predating the Very Well Written granblue events.#.... i'm very normal about Percival granblue and that's why i never talk about him#ichareply#ichafantalks gbf#anonymous#ichablogging 4kishi
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i just had to explain to my father (grown adult man, 6something) how to FORWARD AN EMAIL
fATHER
FATHER PLS
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himalayaan-flowers · 2 months ago
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#if i weren't an anti natalist at this point i wish my brother and his wife would have children#then i'd feel less bad about ending everything once my parents are no longer here#bc he'd have a new family#ughhhhhhhhhhh i've been here 28 years and i can't stand it i don't want another 50 years of this#it's so ridiculous there are people fighting for their lives and i just want to be dead#like i really truly want that#i don't want to get old and even worse looking#i don't want to “settle” into a miserable relationship#i don't want to spend another 50 years hating everything about myself and being jealous of others and working a boring job#trying to force myself to remember to eat and doing chores and being in physical pain and being told to be grateful things aren't worse#worrying about everyone else#feeling guilty for absolutely everything#just watching as everyone else lives their lives#there is nothing whatsoever that could possibly change my mind i'd always choose “no life” over this life#but i'm so TRAPPED#i know i'm a broken record but literally what else can i do but repeat myself#it's horrible having no way out bc you can't stand to cause your family pain#and then i think#am i actually THAT bad#because if i were totally heartless i wouldn't care right????#i would just do it without worrying about them#which makes me think i can't be completely devoid of compassion#so then why?????#it feels like i HAVE to be a bad person otherwise why would i be in this situation#even people in warzones have a will to live#i don't starve or live in a warzone#but people living in famine or through war STILL have the will to live???#i have none#i don't get it
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barbatos-sama · 2 months ago
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political opinion warning but something that rly irks me is when the people who say "you shouldn't get a pet unless you're financially capable of having it" (which is a correct statement) but they're the same people who upon hearing one say "i don't think people in poverty should be having planned babies" they'll say it's eugenics
#like. you want them to be able to pay for pets but not for the children. i don't follow the logic#if you can barely afford to eat you Shouldn't be planning for a baby i don't know why it's a controversial opinion#if You can't eat how are you gonna expect a baby to eat#it's like pre planned child neglect hello#also an opinion i have that seems controversial to some#is like when ppl have a baby even when they know it'll have a painful disorder/disease/whatever#like idk if you've seen those documentaries of ppl with#harlequin ichthyosis. there's one family that rly pisses me off (the parents i mean) bc they had two girls with the disease#and it's INCREDIBLY PAINFUL. like every single activity is painful. your life is just Pain all the time. suffering#most babies die shortly after birth but there's rare cases where they can survive longer#but these parents found out they basically had a 1/4 chance that any baby they had would have this because they both carried the gene#(neither of them actually had the disease just the gene)#and they still had children anyway. Three Of Them. in hopes that they'd have a 'normal' baby. all three ended up with the disease#and it's fucked up bc you can actually even plainly see the father didn't want to have more but the mom insisted#and i'm like. that's just morally fucked up. you people don't have to live with this suffering but your kids do#to even take the risk of having more after the first one is just awful to me. 1/4 is such a high chance#part of the reason those girls live as long as they did (i'm hoping they're still alive) is that they have a daily regimen#of Very Painful Baths that include aggressively scrubbing their already painful skin#and then slathering themselves in lotion/antibiotics/etc#and they need these scrubbings At Least twice a day i can't remember if it was more but i know it was at least two#like that's traumatic these children are traumatized. esp seeing them scrubbing that little baby's skin. i can't even imagine how fucked up#someone's mind gets if they're subjected to constant pain from the time they're born and through their whole life#it's just fucked up i got heated just thinking about it#i will cease my bitching now 🫡
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s0dium · 6 months ago
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I need you
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Synopsis: Choso needs to fuck you despite the fact that you are Yuuji's babysitter.
Warnings: Desperate sex, rough sex
Visual link: xxxxx
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Choso thinks you are an angel.
Honestly.
He marvels at how you always help his family out by babysitting his little brother Yuji, even if it's late at night. Your kindness shines through in every action, and he can't help but notice how your eyes glow like an angel's, your skin seems so soft, and your voice carries a soothing, gentle tone. It's not just what you do; it's the way you do it, with such grace and beauty, that makes him believe you truly are a blessing to his family.
So that is why he must do this.
His touches are relentless, drawing you into his room the moment Yuuji is asleep. You can barely even get a word in before his bigger hands are under your shirt, exploring the warmth of your skin, a desperate longing evident in each caress. You want to tell him to slow down, to truly connect beyond the frantic urgency. But your words dissolve into breathless whispers as you meet his dark tired eyes that are practically begging for you, begging to be with you, begging to feel you.
"I like kissing you." He murmurs against your lips. "I like you. I like you so much, you are so pretty. I like and love you."
You let yourself fall into his touch and Choso captures your mouth with his, a deep, enveloping kiss that makes you moan and whine for more. As he gently removes your tank top and shorts, leaving you in your bra and underwear and he devotes attention to every inch of your skin, delivering tender nips, soft sucks, and gentle bites.
"Perfect." He mumbles under his breath, burying his nose into the crook of your neck to pepper the delicate skin with soft kisses. "Fuck, you are so perfect, baby."
Your mind grows fuzzy at his words and you let out a sharp gasp when you feel him pull the hem of your underwear down your legs.
"Jump," he commands softly, his voice a low rumble that reverberates through you. Without hesitation, you leap up and in one fluid motion, he lifts you up. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, securing you against him as he presses you against the wall. Your fingers find their way into his black hair tied up in buns long, tugging gently at the strands, anchoring yourself to him as his kisses deepen. You don't even notice that he has lowered his pants until you feel the hard pressure against your tight hole, making you instinctively squirm away.
"Stay still f'me ok baby?" Choso groans, peppering kisses along your jaw while he aligns himself with you. Without warning, he thrusts into you, the sudden friction and collision with your G-spot knocking the wind out of your lungs. It's as if every fiber of your being is tuned to this moment, each caress and sensation amplifying the pleasure that surges through you. You feel a soft shiver start at the base of your spine, traveling upward, making your skin tingle with exquisite delight. Ticklish pleasure courses through your veins and you immediately throw your head back against the wall as Choso thrusts into you.
"Hnghh, s-so good~~" You whine. It was dizzying, the grith of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, the euphoria of him fitting snuggly against walls with every thrust. The friction is incredible and it made pain quickly turn into pleasure. The tightness of your cunt has Choso gasping for breath, the grip on your hips almost bruising as he tries to keep himself from spilling inside of you right here and now.
"I can feel you baby, sh-shit, I can feel you doing it to me." Choso is not a whining man but here he is falling apart at the warmth of your cunt. God you were heaven, he thinks he would be eternally happy if he could just spend all his time inside of you, feeling you squeeze around him, smelling the intoxicating scent of your shampoo. He uses you like his personal cock sleeve, thrusting up into your warm cunt with such vigor that it shapes your insides and bruises your cervix until your entire body jolts with sensitivity.
For a moment, he slows down, leaning down to the space between you and letting a glob of thick spit drop onto your clit. He moves side to side, opening up your folds and rubbing your clit. You cry from the pleasure and Choso's Adam apple bobs as he groans as well.
He's close, and he knows you are too.
He is glaring at you with hooded eyes, watching the expressions of pleasure you make intently. Choso is caught in some sort of trance, like even though he is fucking you, he is powerless to you.
Your mind begins to drift, losing itself in the intensity of the experience of Choso fucking you. Time seems to blur, and the world around you fades, leaving only the profound connection between you and the pleasure you're immersed in. Each moment stretches and deepens, and you're carried away by the ebb and flow of sensations. Your body responds instinctively, arching off the wall and lifting your hips to meet Choso's thrusts, seeking more, craving the next wave of ecstasy. The pleasure builds and builds, a crescendo that fills you to the brim. It's a symphony of sensation, a dance of pure, unadulterated joy that leaves you breathless and yearning.
And then, in a glorious, breathtaking instant, it peaks. The world seems to explode in a kaleidoscope of bliss, and you are utterly consumed by it. Your heart races, your breath catches, and for a moment, you are weightless, suspended in a universe of pure pleasure.
Luckily for you, Choso is right there with you. His mind dips into a ocean of pleasure and before he can put a stop to it, he is spilling load upon loads of himself in you.
Damn it, he should've done this sooner.
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