#don't gaslight us
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bootlegramdomneess · 4 months ago
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I'm just thinking about the story of two young and hot people connecting on something they both love. Cooking. Creating. Something that obviously gives them so much joy, a sense of belonging and peace. (when they allow it to happen)
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Just thinking about the deeply intimate space they constantly found themselves in without even realizing or acknowledging it. Just thinking about the possibility of those young and hot people truly opening themselves up to the vulnerability of being incredibly intimate with another human you share your joy with in such a beautiful way.
They can't deprive us of this beautiful and true love story...
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THEY CAN'T!!!
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kittyprincessofcats · 11 months ago
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ICJ Ruling
Okay, let's get into this.
First of all, I get the frustration at the court not ordering a ceasefire. I was disappointed and frustrated at first too, since a ceasefire was the biggest and most important preliminary measure South Africa was requesting - and of course we just all want this horror to finally end for the people in Gaza. So I get the frustration and disappointment, I really do.
However, I do think this ruling is still a major win for South Africa, Palestine, and international law as a whole and here's why:
The court acknowledged that it has jurisdiction over this case and completely dismissed Israel's request to throw out the case as a whole. It will now determine at the merits stage (that will probably take years) whether Israel is actually commiting genocide.
The court acknowledged that Palestinians are a "distinct national or ethnic group and therefore deserving of protection under the genocide convention". Pull this out next time someone tells you "there's no such thing as Palestinians, they're all just Arabs".
The court acknowledged very unambiguously that "at least some" of Israel's actions being genocidal in nature is "plausible". South Africa has a case, officially. Israel is accused of genocide, in a way the ICJ deems "plausible", officially. This is huge. (And seriously, how freaking satisfying was it to hear all of those genocidal statements by Israeli politicians read out loud and used as justification for this rulling?)
The court might not have ordered a "ceasefire" in those words, but they did order Israel to "immediately end all genocidal acts" (which includes killing and injuring Palestinians) and submit proof that they actually did. How are they going to comply with this ruling without at least severly reducing or changing what they're doing in Gaza?
In fact, this wording might actually be more appropriate for a genocide (vs a war), as author and journalist Ali Abunimah notes on Twitter:
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He's completely right. Israel lost today, by overwhelming majority (I mean, 15 to 2? I heard people predict the rulings would be very close, like 9 judges vs 8, but instead we got 15 to 2 (and even 16 to 1 on the humanitarian aid). Holy shit.) The court disimissed almost everything Israel's side of lawyers said, while acknowledging that South Africa's accusations are "plausible".
And this is important especially because of Mr Abunimah's second tweet there^. Because the question is, where do we go from here?
This ruling means that Israel is officially /possibly/ commiting genocide and that should have huge international consequences. The rest of the world now HAS to take these accusations seriously and stop arming and supporting Israel - and if they won't do it on their own, we, the people, have to make them. This is THE moment to rise up all around the world, especially in the countries most supportive of Israel (the US, the UK, Germany): Protest, call your representatives and demand a ceasefire and an end of arms deliveries to Israel.
We now have a legal case to back our demands: If Israel is, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" commiting genocide, then all of our governments are, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" guiltly of aiding in genocide. And we need to hold that over their heads and demand better. We need to do that right now and in huge numbers. Most politicians only care about themselves and saving their skin. We have to make them realize that they could be accused of aiding in genocide.
(As a German, I'm thinking of Germany here in particular: After South Africa's hearing, our government dismissed their case as having "no basis" - how are they going to keep saying that now that the ICJ officially thinks otherwise? Over the last months, people here have been arrested at protests for calling what's happening in Gaza a genocide. How are the police supposed to legally keep doing that now that the ICJ has officially deemed this accusation "plausible"? I used to be scared to use the word "genocide" at protests or write it on my protest signs - not anymore, have fun trying to arrest me for that when the ICJ literally has my back on this one 🖕🏻.)
So yeah - don't be defeatist about this, don't let Israel's narrative that they "won" (they didn't) take over. This might not be everything we wanted, but it's still a good result. Don't let what the court didn't say ("ceasefire"), distract you from the very important things that they did say. Let this be your motivation to get loud and active, especially if you live in any country that supports Israel. Put pressure on your governments to not be complicit in genocide, you now officially have the highest international court on your side.
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I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.
#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something#positive instead#this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling#their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it#i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them#i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be#safe from our oppressors#and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN'#guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too#trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men#if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit#from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors#so#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off#and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer#feminism#misogyny#sexism#patriarchy#tw men#tw rape#tw abuse#misandry#terfs dni#radfems dni#feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit#men are entitled to nothing from us#and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling#ok? ok.
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radio-writes · 10 months ago
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What is Left of Me Without You?
Synopsis: Your husband didn't love you, not yet at least—that's what he told you. First, he wanted to see just how much you loved him.
Warnings: dubcon, smut, oral - m receiving, sex, abusive relationship, heavy manipulation, gaslighting, some misogyny, angst
Tags: married, one sided romantic love, Alastor x Reader, female!reader, reader is somewhere on the ace spectrum too
MDNI
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To everyone in your town, you and your husband were the picture perfect couple.
Alastor, the bright, charming, down-right intoxicating radio host, walking down the street with you, his absolute darling of a wife on his arm.
Smiling, giggling, sharing hushed whispers. It looked as if the two of you were lost in your own lovely little world.
Even behind closed doors, Alastor proved himself to be the perfect gentleman. You never wanted for anything, never grieved, never felt lonely. 
If you so much as glanced at something by a storefront, Alastor would have it tied with a bow at the foot of your bed.
If anything caused you grief, or even inconvenienced you the slightest bit, Alastor would have dealt with it by the end of the day. 
If you ever felt lonely, well...
You supposed you didn't really have the right to feel lonely. Alastor was always there, wasn't he?
You woke up to the sound of your husband's humming. His smooth voice glided over each note skillfully as you peeled your eyes open.
The sight before you wasn't anything new: the other half of the bed empty and already fixed up. 
You turned to sit up, and found Alastor in front of your vanity as he straightened his bowtie. He caught your eye through the reflection, and his smile broadened.
The greater half of New Orleans would probably kill to be in your place right now. Seated in a lavish bedroom, your famous, dapper husband walking to your side of the bed to place a kiss on your hand. 
"Well good morning, darling! Don't you look adorable in this state." His sweet words greeted you.
It was there again, that odd feeling that sunk in your gut. What was that?
"Good morning, my dear." You greeted him back, ignoring whatever it was. A tired smile graced your lips as you peered up at him. "Headed to work already?" You asked him. 
"Why, of course! Who else would wake up New Orleans and tell all those sleepy bones to shake a leg and hop to work?" He struck a pose, hand on his chest. "Only yours truly, of course!" 
His warm chestnut eyes met yours through the lenses of his glasses. You let out a tired, soft laugh as you glanced away to hide the heat that rose to your cheeks.
You adored this man—every single bit of him—so you found it hard not to get flustered over him, even after all this time. Hell, you were still counting your lucky stars that he chose to marry you of all people.
Why? Well, you tried not to ask yourself that.
He'd already given you his answer, hadn't he?
Alastor placed a chaste kiss to your cheek, quickly pulling you out of your thoughts before they could spiral. You looked back at your husband as he said something about having to run off or risk being late.
You remained sat in your bed, smiling and watching with hearts in your eyes as your darling husband waved on his way out of your room. 
"Looking forward to what you'll cook up this evening, sweetheart!" Alastor grinned, right before the door shut behind him.
And it was there again.
The gnawing feeling was coming by more and more frequently now. What was it?
Was it actually loneliness? But that would be so silly, wouldn't it?
Your husband didn't love you, but he trusted you. And that should be enough for now.
At least, that's what he said when he proposed.
You and Alastor knew each other for a very long time, and basically all of New Orleans knew you took a very strong liking to him.
Alastor had raised the proposition back then. You remember how he had explained that it would be a good thing for both your sakes. How you'd get to be with someone you loved oh so much, and how convenient it would be for him to finally get marriage out of the way. And even more so with a cherished friend like you!
Sure, you hesitated back then; unsure if you really wanted to marry a man who didn't love you the way you did him. But he sung you praises, he sung you promises.
You were darling, you were beautiful, you were smart, you were kind. How could he not grow to love you in your marriage? How could he resist falling for a such a doll who was offering him her heart?
So you said yes. 
Because you loved Alastor with every bit of your heart, but he simply just wasn't ready to love you back yet.
And he was such a lovely man who never failed to shower you with affection. Maybe you were just asking for too much—fretting over such small things—for you to feel upset about waking up without your husband beside you. 
And—and he was a radio host, after all. Of course he had to get to work early.
You really didn't need to spare it another second of thought.
No, what you really needed to focus on was how you could help your dear, hardworking husband.
You shook your head and slapped your hands softly against your cheeks. You've got to knock that annoying feeling loose. It was all so pointless.
With a more determined look, you got up from the bed. You neatly fixed the sheets and pillows, taking extra care to make sure every single wrinkle was smoothened out.
You silently ran over the list of tasks you had to do today.
Obviously there's cleaning and making sure the house was in order. It would be a real shame if Alastor came home to an untidy space. He's already out working late for both of you, the least you could do was make sure he had a clean home to rest in.
You ought to make time to drop by the market for some fresh meat to cook up. Alastor would surely be famished after work, right? And your mama always did say that the quickest way to a man's heart was through his stomach. 
You could also drop by the tailors and get the hem of one of your Alastor's dress shirts straightened out. He hasn't said anything about it, but he's avoided using that particular one for a while now. You knew the uneven stitches had to be bugging him.
Oh, you really needed to pass by a locksmith, too. That dang lock on the basement door still had not budged no matter what Alastor did, and you just could not find the key anywhere.
You've been waving the issue off for a while now—Alastor was right in saying there's no real rush to it, nothing really important down there, anyway—but it'd be nice to have the extra storage available to you again.
You let out a huffed breath and placed your hands on your waist. You held your head high and ready. "Right. Let's get this show started."
It was a busy day, as it always was for you. The hours ticked by as quickly as loose sand through an open palm.
You didn't have time to feel lonely, not when you were too busy scrubbing with all your might against a particularly stubborn grease stain on your sink. 
When the house was finally all neat, you got yourself ready to head out. Hair done, just a touch of make up, and a rather modest dress—at least as modest as Alastor had bought you. That man did lean towards the more finer tastes.
You felt it was a bit much just to do a few errands, but you were the sweet wife of a local personality. You had an image to uphold. You had to make sure you didn't do anything to tarnish your darling husband's reputation. 
This was just part of the whole package, you supposed. Nothing that can be done about it.
Heading out into the afternoon sun, you painted on a bright smile for all the kind people that greeted you. Cheery, happy, friendly. Oh, but not too friendly.
Meek, quiet, all prim and proper. The makings of a fine lady worthy of her spot by the dapper radio host's side.
You dropped your husband's shirt off by the tailors first. They seemed to be more than happy to rush your request once you let slip who it belonged to. They promised they could have it ready in just a few hours. You thanked them softly, and noted how they were such jolly workers, laughing even as you left the store.
You dropped by the locksmith before the market, not really wanting to carry out a bunch of raw meat as you went about your day.
The nicely dressed man was a bit—difficult to talk to. He seemed to think you had no idea what a door even was. He had just started explaining how you open a doorknob when you felt your cheeks start to strain from how hard you worked to maintain a smile.
"Oh dear me, would you look at the time," You politely cut him off, pretending to be shocked at how late into the day it was. "I am so sorry, sir, but my husband should be coming home any minute now and I haven't even started on dinner!" 
A lie. Alastor always came home late.
The man raised a brow at you in disbelief. Not that he didn't buy your act, but more judgmental that a woman would be so careless as to forget to take care of her spouse.
You ignore the look he gave you, keeping your shy smile on. "Maybe you could just sell me the tools. I could get my husband to work on it."
"Sure thing, sweetheart," The man shrugged. "I'll get what you need in a split, so you can run back and make a quick stew at the very least."
He ended up selling you the tools, along with a bunch of other needless things, with the assurance that your husband would definitely need them all.
You bit your tongue as you smiled and thanked him.
Why on earth would you need a box of nails and a bottle of glue to split a lock open?
But you really did not have it in you to stand in that shop any longer.
Besides, how would it look if the papers caught whiff of Alastor's sweet little wife yelling and lecturing a local shop keeper.
You couldn't burden your husband like that.
You hurriedly rushed to the market before they could close, buying the best cut of meat they still had at this hour, before you made your way back to the tailors to check on the progress.
The workers snickered as you entered, but you really didn't think much of it until they pulled out the dress shirt you dropped off.
A large, nasty stain of lord-knows-what sat right at the center of what used to be its pristine white color.
Your smile strained badly. "Oh dear, what on earth happened?" You asked with feigned worry. You already knew what happened.
"Afraid we spilled a bit of lunch on it, sweetie." One of the ladies explained, her companions giggling behind her. "Couldn't be avoided, unfortunately."
You felt your eye twitch.
"I'm sure a lovely doll like you could find a way to fix it. Wouldn't want that hotty husband of yours to leave your pretty face for something like this, would ya?" She went on.
"You better run, though. I heard the cleaners were planning on closing up early today." Another bitch woman spoke up.
Had you been any less horrified at your husband's ruined shirt, you would have been fuming.
You quickly took the shirt and paid, rushing out before you did anything stupid. Like cry.
Oh Alastor's rivals would have a field day twisting a story like that.
As you left the ladies called out "We did straighten the hem, darling!" And a more snarky, muttered comment, "Although, you'd think someone as handsome as Alastor could find a gal that could do something that simple herself."
The walk back home was probably the most tiring part of it all. Having to keep your back straight, your smile lovely, your voice friendly. Never letting the kind people know anything was wrong.
Because you knew those kind people were all itching to have any reason to gossip about your husband.
And you just couldn't have that.
Your shoulders finally sagged as you closed the door to your house. Your smile dropped immediately as you leaned against the door in exhaustion.
You stuffed the ruined shirt in your bag, thinking maybe your can throw it out later on, but you just knew Alastor would notice it was missing. He won't be happy with you, that's for sure.
Never mind that you've bent over backwards for the better half of a year to cater to him. Never mind that you've hidden all your faults under the rug. Never mind that you've been absolutely devoted to him even before your marriage.
You had to be perfect.
But you weren't. And you knew that. It seemed every other woman in New Orleans knew that. And now with the ruined shirt, Alastor would know that too.
He'll see you as less.
It's there again, that's stupid heavy feeling in your gut. Whatever it was.
You sighed in defeat. If you couldn't get the shirt fixed, maybe you could at least make sure he had a good meal to come home to? Maybe that could make him overlook your faults this time.
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You burnt it. Somehow,—despite normally being an amazing cook every other time besides tonight—you managed to burn dinner.
You put your hands over your face, groaning in frustration, just absolutely exasperated. Why on earth was everything going wrong today. Why couldn't you just do one thing right? Why couldn't you just be of some help to Alastor? Why—
You lifted your face from your hands, attempting to slow your breathing. Your eyes glanced around your ruined kitchen and your burnt dinner, and that stupid shirt peaking out of your bag, and...the door to the basement? 
Right! Maybe there could still be one thing you could do right today.
You wiped your hands over your apron, immediately scrambling for the tools you bought earlier today. 
While you weren't the smartest when it came to these things, surely you could figure something out to try to loosen the lock.
You've watched your gentle husband fiddle around with the lock many times before, never opting to break the thing. You suspected he didn't want to look in any way violent in front of you, but you always thought it was so needlessly complicated.
You grabbed a hammer from the pile of junk and made your way towards the basement door. You tested the lock's strength with a few, rather light, taps of the hammer head. It didn't feel that sturdy. You thought you could definitely break it with a bit of force on your end.
You gripped the handle with both hands and brought the hammer down on it.
Once. The sound of metals clashing echoed in your house
Twice. You had to do at least this today.
Thrice. You can't be useless to him.
You smashed the hammer down onto the lock one more time and the battered thing fell to floor. 
Your eyes widened, lips spreading into grin out of relief.
Thank heavens, you managed something today. Alastor would be glad to hear this, at least. 
You bent over, picking up the fallen lock from the floor.
A weight pressed against you from behind.
Startled out of your wit, you stood up straight, just in time for whoever it was to flatten your body right against the basement door.
"What a lovely sight that was." You hear Alastor's voice right by your ear.
His head found home where your shoulder and head met. His nose trailed up against your skin as he breathed you in.
A gasp escaped your parted lips as you feel his hands squeeze the flesh of your hips harshly.
"Alastor?" You were partly dazed, confused what was happening.
His hips pressed against yours at the sound of his name from your mouth, and you all but recoil.
Alastor was rarely handsy, and that was fine by you. You actually realized that you much preferred it that way. Alastor's love being the only thing you ever really wanted from him.
Moments like these have always caught you off guard.
Because your husband knew that. He knew you weren't comfortable with being intimate. He knew you'd much rather have him just sit by you. He knew you weren't one to jump his bones.
And Alastor normally respected that.
"What a naughty little doll you are," Alastor's breath hot against your skin. "Welcoming a man home all bent over, presenting yourself." He whispered.
Your eyes widened, attempting to turn to face him, but his body kept yours pinned to the door.
"Baby, no. I," Your breathing had gone a bit ragged. "I was just picking up this lock here."
You raised your hand, showing the broken, battered lock in your grip. "I finally managed to open the stubborn thing." You tried to smile up at him over your shoulder, expecting praise.
Alastor's eyes stayed on the lock for a second too long you think, before his hand circled your wrist and yanked your arm behind your back. His swift hands made your other arm follow after it immediately.
The ache in your limbs, the grip he had on you, the shock of it all made the lock tumble right out of your grasp.
Alastor let out a hum of disappointment. "That's a real shame, sweetheart. I thought you were finally opening up to me." He said, his voice still filled with mirth. "Could have really used it tonight, too."
You felt him ground his hips against your clothed ass. His half hard cock evident against you.
He used one hand to keep your arms where they were, the other made its way to caress up your torso. His large palm trailing past your breasts, ending up by your soft cheeks.
Contrasting with the ones that held you still, his fingers were gentle against your face. His fingertips barely ghosted over your skin.
"I had a rather rough day at work, you see. Could you blame a man for wanting a little comfort from his wife?" He whispered.
The words hung in the air. Your lips unable to deny him, but unable to agree all the same.
A heartbeat passes, and suddenly you were free. Alastor stepped back from you, your body relaxing at the absence of his towering figure. 
"But what kind of ruffian would I be to force a lady to do that against her will," Alastor said, his tone rather carefree.
You turned around to finally face him, only to see him looking else where.
Your eyes followed his line of sight and you noticed the ruined shirt, pulled out of the bag, sitting right next to a burnt dinner, all framed by a horribly messy kitchen.
Alastor looked back at you, his charming smile ever present. "I'm sure you excel at all the other aspects of being a wife, anyway." He says, as if he hadn't just seen the failure you've made of your day.
He began to walk away, and your hand reached out before you could even think. Almost as if on reflex. Almost as if it's what you had to do.
You meekly pulled him back. His eyes watched you, almost expectantly, as you cupped your palms against his cheeks, and invited him down to meet you.
Your lips brushed chastely against his as he let out a satisfied hum.
You pulled away just enough to speak, your eyes looking up at him as your breaths mixed. "What...what can I do for you, my love?"
Alastor's smile stretched, his lips dipping down to meet yours again for a second time. His hand quickly found its way to the small of your back, heavy as he ushered you out of the kitchen.
"I think that's better discussed in the bedroom, darling." He purred against your ear.
You swallowed thickly against your tightening throat. 
Normally Alastor's hands on you were cherished, but you wanted nothing more than to squirm away from his hold right then. You knew where this was heading, but it just was not something you ever found appealing.
But you could do it for Alastor, right? You have done it for him before, anyway. 
Even if you didn't particularly enjoy it, at least you'd be satisfying your husband. At least you'd be close to him. At least you'd be useful to him.
Alastor, like the chivalrous gentleman he is, opened the door of your bedroom for you as he lead you in. You heard the click of the lock behind you, right before you were quickly tossed onto your bed.
You squealed as your felt your body bounce against the soft sheets. Your dress bunched up your thighs as you adjusted your legs.
Alastor stood at the foot of your bed, working his bowtie off with nimble fingers. "Darling, why so tense? It's only me." He says, his voice almost soothing.
But it was there again. That annoying feeling. It seems heavier than ever.
Was it really loneliness? 
How could you even be lonely now, when the man you love was waiting to mount you.
"I'm just nervous, that's all, darling," You managed to say honestly. "It hurt quite a bit last time."
Your eyes watched closely as Alastor's hand made quick work of the buttons in his vest, shrugging it off and placing his knee on the bed. His eyes trained on your reactions all the while, enjoying the flicker of uncertainty on your face as you bit your lip.
"I know a way we can ease that," He said. He reached out his hand to you, inviting you to take it.
Your shaky hand didn't hesitate. Because you'd do anything for this man.
You loved Alastor, so much, with your whole body, but he seemed to revel a bit too much in that knowledge.
He knew you could never deny him. So when your hand was in his, he pulled you closer, watching with delight as you awkwardly crawled to the end of your bed.
"Care for a box lunch, darling? It'd hurt less if we're a lot more slick." Alastor teased, chuckling as you looked at him with confusion.
The gears seemed to click in your head when one of his hand rested on your hair, the other worked his belt off.
"Oh," Was pretty much all you managed to squeak out. It was definitely not what you expected. 
You hadn't noticed that you tried to pull away until Alastor applied a bit more pressure on your scalp to keep you still. 
He pulled his heavy cock free from its confines. He ran his hand over it, lazily pumping the hardening member in his palm as his gaze was transfixed on you.
Your wide eyes watched every movement of his hand. Panicked, you seemed. Not unlike many panicked does he's shot down in the past.
Not unlike many panicked other things he's felt lose life under his hands.
"Something wrong?" Alastor mused, head tilting as he watched you flinch at the sight of his dick twitching.
Your eyes finally pulled away from your husband's groin, looking up to meet the man's lidded gaze behind his glasses. "We haven't really tried that before and," You bit your lip, unsure on how to proceed. "It just seems a bit deviant." 
"Well then it's lucky we're both in such safe company then, isn't it?" The hand in your hair loosened it's grip, opting to softly comb through your hair. The slight tension in your shoulders melted away. "I've been rather curious about what all fuss was about, didn't really have a partner I trusted enough before to try, though." 
Your breath caught in your throat at his words. He saw how bad you messed up today, didn't he? He saw how miserably you failed at the simplest of tasks. But he still trusted you? He still trusted you enough to do something as unorthodox as this?
"I suppose I've been rather curious about it myself." You smiled up at him nervously, your hand reached out by your own choice to hold his hefty cock in your palm.
You were lying.
He knew you were lying and he loved it.
"Then open up, my dear." You heard him say, gently guiding your head closer to his crotch.
You decided looking up at your husband was easier than watching your own hand pleasure his shaft. You kept his gaze as you parted your lips, letting your soft tongue meet the skin of his head before wrapping your lips around it.
There was a rather salty taste in your mouth, a bit of his precum leaking onto your tongue. You tried not to cringe at the taste, choosing instead to focus on the way Alastor's brows furrowed when you took more of him into your warm, obedient mouth.
"How do I taste, darling?" He teased, knowing you couldn't answer. 
He looked down at you expectantly. Not knowing what else you could do, you began to slowly bob your head, keeping your lips wrapped around his shaft.
You took your time, slowly letting more of him past your lips each time you sank your head back down. Eyes trained on your husband's face, part of you wondering if he'd praise you if you did a well enough job. But it seemed your efforts offered far too little friction for Alastor's patience.
His hips started moving against your face. Softly at first, but he soon began to push at your head to meet his thrusts.
The head of his hard cock nudged your throat and you choked. Your hands immediately went to his hips, nails digging in with how hard you held onto him. 
Tears forms in your eyes as you looked up at your husband, and your heart immediately filled with panic when you were met with a look of disappointment. 
"Hmm. Seems this might have been too much for you to handle." He sighed, finally pulling you off his dick.
A string of saliva stayed between the head of his cock and your lips as you coughed and gasped for air. 
But even as your jaw throbbed, you went to reach your hand out and tried to lean back in towards his dick. "No, no. I can do it, I promise," You said hurriedly.
"There's no need to force yourself, my darling wife," Alastor tutted, pushing you back by your shoulder, stopping you from getting another chance to prove yourself. "We can't help that you have your limits."
"I just need practice." You swore, looking up at your husband. You hated that you disappointed him again.
His fingers reach out to tilt your chin up, making space for his lips at your neck as he slowly pushed you back into the bed with his own body.
"If you ask nicely enough, I'm sure we can have you try again another time," Alastor said softly, as if granting you such a troublesome request.
The back of your head softly met your pillows as Alastor nudged your legs apart with his knee.
He slotted himself between your legs, grinding his slick cock impatiently against your panties. His groan was practically breathed into your ear.
You wanted to hear more of it. While you weren't particularly eager for sex, you were starved for your husband's praises. And if this is what it took then so be it.
You bucked your hips up to remove your underwear, your groin meeting his lazy thrusts as you did. 
"And here I was beginning to think you didn't want me." Alastor jested as he parted from your neck to help you rid yourself of your underwear. His long fingers slid the flimsy thing down one leg and let it stay on the other.
"There probably isn't a woman in this apple that doesn't want you, my love." You half-joked, but your soft laugh abruptly ended in a gasp.
Alastor pressed the thick head of his cock at your entrance, teasingly pushing in just the smallest bit. "You're most likely right," He said, watching as your eyes closed at his trespass. "But you are the only one lucky enough to have me."
And you should know it.
Your back arched as your husband pushed past the tight hole of your entrance. What little resistance your walls made barely bothered him as his throbbing head forced your walls apart.
His hands dug into the sheets by your body. The smooth covers wrinkling in his grip as he strained to stay still.
"This alright for you, darling?" He asked, running his thumb softly under your eye to coax you into looking at him.
Your heart fluttered. Even when in such carnal need he cared about your silly little wants. You pry your eyes open to see Alastor peering down at you with a smile.
"I could stay with this much if you need me to." He told you, rocking hips barely moving. The head of his cock nearly slipping out before he pushed back in, just until it disappeared again into your warm walls.
He was being so kind and accommodating, you couldn't bring yourself to be so needlessly selfish.
Your cunt strained to take even just his very tip, but it was so pointless to let something like that get in the way. Your petty little apprehensions shouldn't matter. Not when you're with your husband.
Your lips strained to force a smile. "I think I can take more, my dear."
It was all Alastor really needed to hear. he dragged his dick out of you, letting it slip out. Wanting you to feel how empty you were without him. Before he rammed his hips against yours; sheathing his cock fully in your warm cunt.
"What a gal," Alastor praised. "Loving, kind, and gentle, but takes a cock like she's on the clock in a call house."
Alastor loved the way you keened at his words.
He loved the way you yearned for his touch, even when you both knew it wasn't your game.
He loved the way you worshiped him, always so desperate to please him.
Oh, how he loved how you were always so ready to give him everything. 
Alastor loved you, but just not in the way you hoped.
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When you woke up the next morning, the view in front of you wasn't anything new.
Alastor's half of the bed was empty. The previously rumpled sheets for the previous night's rendezvous were pristine and smoothened out once more.
It was there again. Whatever that feeling was. 
You assumed it's going to be here for a while.
Alastor seemed to have already headed out before you awoke, not that it felt any different from other mornings.
With a sigh you made your bed. Once again going over everything you had to do for the day.
You had to clean—because you always had to clean—but more so now knowing you left quite the mess yesterday. You have to stop by the market once more, maybe look through clothing stores to find a new shirt for Alastor.
You didn't want him upset with you over that after all. While he didn't bring it up, you knew it still likely bothered him.
You made your way to the kitchen, ready to get the day started.
Except something glimmered as you walked by it. Your head turned to its direction, seeing the same padlock you broke the night before in perfect condition—back on the door to the basement.
Your brows furrowed as you approached it. Fingers gingerly examining the cold metal.
But, how could it be back on here? You swore you broke this stubborn thing last night.
From the corner of your eye, you see a note on the counter, immediately recognizing Alastor's messy handwriting. 
Yes, of course. He must have replaced the old one and fixed whatever damaged you did on the door while you were asleep. That would easily explain it.
You picked up the note, smiling softly to yourself at how silly it was to be confused.
It was a brilliant bash, my darling, but it seems this lock is just much too sturdy :(
Don't fret! I'll find a way to open it eventually! Do try to stay away from the tools though, dear. We wouldn't want you hurting your soft delicate hands!
Yours, Alastor
P.S.
I'd prefer a little less char on the meat this time! Haha!
You tried to reread the note several times, wondering if your husband was pulling your leg again. 
You broke this lock, you knew you did.
You swung a hammer at it thrice and it broke. 
Thrice? Or was it four times?
Whatever, the count didn't matter.
Or did it? 
You remained where you stood, confused at what to believe. The note still clutched in your hands.
Did you really break the lock last night? Or were you just so desperate to get something right that your fooled yourself into thinking that?
If you broke the lock then why was it still there now? Why would your darling husband tell you otherwise?
The only reasonable conclusion was that you didn't.
Surely, that made sense, right?
Your eyes stared at the note. Alastor's name seemingly bright against everything else. 
No other possibility made sense. Besides, if Alastor trusted you enough to marry you, it only made sense to return that privilege.
Right.
Your eyes lifted from the note, to the kitchen in front of you. The mess you made still loud and present and ugly. 
There was no use standing there fretting over such a silly, pointless, thing. Not when you had more pressing matters to attend to.
Who really cares about a dumb little lock, anyway? Didn't you have such a long list of tasks to do today?
Like proving your worth
To yourself
To the world
To your husband. 
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Part 1 of 2 I hadn't intended for this fic to run as long as it did, and the best part was yet to come. It would have taken ages to get this out if I didn't cut it into half. Anyway, Read part 2 of 2 here!
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arttsuka · 3 months ago
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Some past fiddlestan? (Like Ford just went through the portal. He gone now. Past. Yk?)
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The mystery misery yaoi
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thewildmother · 7 months ago
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CATARINA DE LURTON Deus Salve o Rei (83)
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highschoolfrenemy · 2 days ago
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That's what makes the betrayal hurt so much.
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myflowerdeer666 · 4 months ago
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iwasbored777 · 1 year ago
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The worst thing Miguel and Jessica did to Gwen wasn't even threatening to send her home if she ever visits Miles, it's forcing her to choose their side during the chase scene and make Miles never want to see her again and once the chase scene ended they kicked her out. That's the kind of evil that the Spot was trying so hard to become.
Edit: just in case you forgot - they knew that prison and dead dad were waiting for her when they send her back home
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cxndiedvi0lets · 3 months ago
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angels444yuri · 5 months ago
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how does anyone romanticize hot nights this shit is AWFUL
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canisalbus · 1 year ago
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Hello! I love your art- you have a real talent for expressive eyes. You're a great cartoonist, and I can't wait to see more of your work
It's a little silly, but I just wanted to say- don't beat yourself up for having a reaction to needles after a bad experience. On a moral level, yes, but also a practical one.
It's normal for a body to react to a bad experience with fear. That's what fear evolved to do, warn you about something that could go wrong next time.
However, fear can be reinforced. If your body responds to a stimulus with fear, and then you feel a negative emotion around that memory, your nervous system goes "Wow! That was so bad that even thinking about it stresses me out. I'd better make sure to never let this happen again. Time to dial up the fear signal!"
Being kind to yourself about something frustrating or painful is hard in good conditions, and I don't want to minimize that. This isn't "don't let it bother you" or "just get over it" or "think positive" advice.
When a fear of needles happens to me again (the fear comes and goes), I try to treat it like I would a food aversion resulting from food poisoning. You know when you eat something bad, get sick and then the thought of the food is really gross for awhile? Like that!
I try to let myself be mildly annoyed, but not so much it gets my blood pressure up. Sadness doesn't seem to extend the length of the fear either. But anger, guilt, or shame for me really seem to reinforce the fear reactions.
Your mileage will vary, of course! For me, I went from no fear of needles, to fainting when an IV was put in, back to no fear with patience and time. Maybe this can be a bit of hope for you too! I wish you luck and a smooth road!
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tea-cat-arts · 1 month ago
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Might delete later, but I had to scream about this in doodle form to avoid scaring my housemates by screaming about this irl. I'm so happy my blorbos are back, man. Hoyo please let them have a happy ending this time around
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secret-garden-for-claire · 1 month ago
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Why can't my mom be different?
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yiiiikesmish · 3 months ago
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i'm actually so fucking dumb. it just clicked that rivers mum was almost definitely the girl that bad sam grabbed and therefore his dad is one of those weird assassins and the guy who came to kill david looks eerily like him BECAUSE HES ALSO A KID FROM THIS WEIRD ASS ARMY CULT SO THEY PROBS SHARE A FUCKING PARENT
it has taken me 5 days for me to realise this 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
edit: why did my dumbass not realise it wasn't just any weird assassin guy it was THE weird assassin guy (frank). my sister is horrified it took me this long to get it lol
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thelunastusco · 4 months ago
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If the two sides in an argument are
"hey, we exist and we just want to be treated as real and with respect" (and their supporters)
and
"you're fucking delusional fakers who are trying to ruin our lives and even if you were real you don't belong in this city that your people, in part, helped build, because I said so, so get the fuck out and also go die"
then you don't have two extreme sides.
You have a community, and the abusers targeting them.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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