#don't bully me too hard if some details are off guys

[skepticalcatfrog]

Kerch, Ghezenism, and the Van Eck Family

The title pretty much sums it up. This is a rather extensive analysis, and to be honest with you all it is 2,500+ words. So get into this absolute beast at your own risk!

~~~

From my experience in this fandom, I've seen it discussed very frequently how important religion is in the Grishaverse. Not only is it very deeply developed, to the point where many of the different countries have unique beliefs - which I'm not sure is seen very often in newer literature - but the various religious systems are also deeply important to many major characters, such as Matthias and Inej. However, one aspect of Grishaverse religions that seems to be overlooked somewhat often is the Kerch religion of Ghezenism. This may just be me, but I have a lot of thoughts on it. A big reason for that is that Wylan is, and always has been, my favorite character, and the culture surrounding Ghezen is actually a very important part of his character for many reasons. When you look into it in the way that I have, you discover that there are a lot of peculiar aspects of Ghezenism that make it stand out, as well as many ties that it has to major aspects of the story.

Right away, one thing that makes Kerch religion different from the others is how deeply connected to the economy it is. So much so that a lot of aspects of the two subjects are one and the same. Given that Ketterdam is a city largely fueled by commerce, it makes sense that Ghezenism would heavily tie into Kerch culture as well. Symbols of Ghezen can be found in many places throughout the city, even beyond the Church of Barter. A very good example of this is Vellgeluk, the island where the Crows meet Van Eck expecting to get their reward from the Ice Court heist: “Smugglers called it Vellgeluk, “good luck,” because of the paintings still visible around the base of what would have been the obelisk tower: golden circles meant to represent coins, symbols of favor from Ghezen, the god of industry and commerce,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 44). This just goes to show how many people in Ketterdam, and the wider country of Kerch as well, put their faith in Ghezen. Vellgeluk is a chosen place for smugglers to do business, specifically because favors of Ghezen are still present there. 

Another interesting part of that passage is the fact that Ghezen is referred to as the god of industry and commerce. Kerch may have other gods, but as far as I can remember - and I may be wrong, but I don't think I am - we never hear about any of them. A similar situation can be found in Fjerda, where Djel is specifically the god of life, implying the existence of other gods. In Fjerda, it is very clear that Djel is mainly what they base their culture and belief system around. This makes perfect sense for a god of life, but isn't Ketterdam’s situation a bit more unusual? The most frequently discussed god, Ghezen, represents industry. We can assume Ghezen is the primary god within the Kerch religious system. Not to mention that their largest church is called the Church of Barter, barter obviously being a term that has much to do with economics. Ketterdam, if not the entire country of Kerch, seems to have no real concept of the separation of church and state. They quite literally hold auctions inside of the church; the auctioning of Kuwei is not a singular event.

The impacts of religion can also be seen in the culture and behavior of the people of Kerch, as seen in a brief section of Crooked Kingdom. “Kerch women—even the wealthy ones—didn’t bother with anything as frivolous as embroidery or needlepoint. Ghezen was better served by tasks that benefited the household,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). Obviously, things like this are much more typical of religion. But I would argue that even this holds traces of the same values expressed by the connection between Ghezenism and the economy. It is specifically mentioned here that Kerch women are encouraged to participate in tasks that will “benefit the household��. This displays one of the very prominent aspects of the Ghezenite religion, which is that one of the most important things a person can do is be productive, and create a prosperous life for themselves and their family.

In addition to direct ties between Ghezenism and the Kerch economy, occasionally the legal system is put into the mix as well. While considering what consequences his father might face after the events of the auction, Wylan reveals this piece of information: “Knowingly entering into a false contract for the purpose of subverting the market wasn’t just illegal, it was considered blasphemy, a blight on the works of Ghezen, and the penalties were harsh,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 41). Essentially what he means by this is that not only is tampering with the economy against the law, but it is also heavily frowned upon in a religious sense, and anyone who does so will face punishment from both sides. This is extremely unique, even within the Grishaverse. This single sentence also reveals another very interesting thing about Kerch society. The market, as it exists in Ketterdam, is believed to be a creation of god - it is referred to here as being a part of the “works of Ghezen”. That, more than anything, is concrete proof of just how interconnected the economy of Kerch is with its primary religion. This also means that committing a crime such as Van Eck did isn't simply illegal (which we can assume he has no issues with), it is also an act that goes against his own religion. But stop to consider for a moment: does he really have a problem with that either?

There are numerous examples throughout both books of Van Eck blatantly abusing the values of his own religion. On its own, the teachings of Ghezenism aren't inherently bad. After all, things such as tampering with the market for your own gain are actively discouraged using the threat of blasphemy, which I'd say is generally beneficial. The issue, however, arises when Van Eck in particular attempts to twist some of these values in order to justify his own actions. If there is one single quote from the duology that exemplifies this, it would be this one: “Ghezen shows his favor to those who are deserving, to those who build cities, not the rats who eat away at their foundations. He has blessed me and my dealings. You will perish, and I will prosper. That is Ghezen’s will,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck openly believes that, since he is a member of the upper class, he is somehow more deserving of a blessing. He is insistent that “Ghezen's will”, or what he interprets as what Ghezen wishes for him to do, is to trample others in order to further his own success. 

It doesn't matter to him who stands in his way, and it never will, because his goal is only to make himself more wealthy; he simply hides this behind a thin veil of piety. This motivation is especially clear when he is speaking to Inej while he is holding her captive. “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). He frames people less fortunate than him - in this case Kaz and Inej - as forgettable and unimportant. The only thing he considers truly important is wealth, which he equates to power. He even references Ghezen here, claiming again that all of his actions, as well as his empire and legacy, are meant to show his dedication to his religion. He also claims that his ability to attain this level of success is a sign that Ghezen favors him. That in particular is a display of his extremely warped view of Ghezenism. The truth is that his success can only be attributed to his unethical actions, but the fact that he claims it is due to Ghezen's favor means that he will never be able to be convinced that he is wrong. He has what he believes to be an airtight justification.

His classism is also extremely evident, while indirectly, in an exchange between Kaz and Wylan earlier on in Crooked Kingdom. ““Your father much for charity?” “No. He tithes to Ghezen, but he says charity robs men of the chance at honest labor,”” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 2). This shows that Van Eck is very protective over his wealth. Which, quite frankly, is more likely than not the exact opposite of what Ghezenism is intended to promote. Based on what we are shown from an outside perspective, it seems as though one of the main aspects of Ghezenism is to create a prosperous economy for everyone. However, what Van Eck seems to believe is that he is intended to simply accumulate as much wealth as he possibly can, and keep it all for himself.

It is incredibly clear that Van Eck doesn't care about the well-being of anyone other than himself when it comes down to it. It could be argued that he cares for Alys, and will care for their child when it is born, but this simply cannot be proven. Just look at the exact mirror of this situation: Marya and Wylan. Wylan states about his parents, “I think he really loved her. They fought all the time, sometimes about me, but I remember them laughing a lot together too,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). If we are to believe that this is true, and Van Eck truly did love Marya, that doesn't change the fact that he didn't hesitate to send her away as soon as he discovered that Wylan couldn't read or write. There is no evidence to say that he wouldn't do the same to Alys, under similar circumstances. 

And, of course, this all leads back to the matter of Wylan. When Van Eck decided that Wylan wouldn't be useful to him, he stopped caring about him very quickly. Near the end of Six of Crows, we hear more of the specifics on Van Eck's opinion of Wylan. “I have hired the best tutors from every corner of the world. I’ve tried specialists, tonics, beatings, hypnotism. But he refused to be taught. I finally had to accept that Ghezen saw fit to curse me with a moron for a child. Wylan is a boy who will never grow to be a man. He is a disgrace to my house,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck believes that Wylan is a curse from Ghezen, purely because he thinks that Wylan will be incapable of producing profits for their business. This is perhaps one of the most egregious examples of his blatant abuse of his own religion, because he is entirely willing to abandon and even murder his own son in order to fulfill his goals, which he claims is all Ghezen's will.

There is no feasible way Wylan would be able to grow up being raised by Van Eck, and not be affected by his religious ideas in some way. In fact, there is evidence contained in the text that proves this rather thoroughly. There are even certain things that have already been cited within this analysis that can be circled back to, such as the quote just above. This quote exemplifies the sort of treatment Wylan was subjected to while growing up. This is mostly speculation, but it's safe to assume he was told at a very young age that his own father considered him a punishment from god. That is objectively terrible, and we know that by the age of eight his father was his only parent. The psychological impacts that that would have on a child that young are unimaginable. 

Additionally, we can return to this quote from Crooked Kingdom: “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). While Van Eck is not talking to Wylan here, and Wylan isn't even present at the time, this passage still indirectly displays Van Eck's feelings about Wylan. Here he is expressing the fact that he maintains that if a person is not able to create wealth and prosperity for themselves, they are essentially useless. As we know from the previous example, he believes this of Wylan as well.

It is evident that Wylan was taught Ghezenite values from a young age. While examining the exterior of the Church of Barter, his thoughts include this: “He didn’t need to be able to read the words engraved over the arch. He’d heard his father repeat them countless times. Enjent, Voorhent, Almhent. Industry, Integrity, Prosperity,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). This is confirmation that Van Eck frequently encouraged Wylan to think about these values, and it can be inferred that it likely wasn't in a particularly positive manner. Industry, integrity, and prosperity are clearly the three main ideals of this religion, and we can easily be led to the conclusion that Van Eck is certain his son is capable of none of them.

It is also suggested that Wylan may even associate his father's disapproval with religion subconsciously as well. A good example of this is in Crooked Kingdom, after Wylan is taken to the Church of Barter. “Van Eck shook his head. “Every time I think you cannot disappoint me further, you prove me wrong.” They were in a small chapel topped by a dome. The oil paintings on the wall featured battle scenes and piles of armaments,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). While this is also simply meant to provide the reader with a description of the environment, the juxtaposition between the two halves of this passage cannot be an accident. What we can observe here is that after Van Eck once again expresses his ever-present disappointment with Wylan, emphasis is immediately put on the fact that they are in the church. This, along with the other passages listed, creates a clear link between Wylan's negative relationship with his father and the effects that their shared religion has had on it.

What I consider to be one of the most important quotes for this subject, despite also being the shortest one used, comes near the end of Six of Crows. After Wylan has played his role in foiling Van Eck's plan to trick the Crows, he says this: “Maybe you can pray to Ghezen for understanding, Father,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). This is sort of the first act of retribution that the reader sees from Wylan. He has just made his father look like a fool, and then he practically spits in his face by taking the thing that was used against him for so long - their religion - and using it against his father instead. Not only is this moment incredibly satisfying, it also marks the beginning of Wylan's growth as a character that eventually leads to him being able to stand up to his father in more ways.

Despite being arguably the least explored Grishaverse religion in online spaces, I find Ghezenism to be extremely interesting when it comes to the ways it ties into the themes of the story. It represents wider, more general themes found throughout the book, such as the idea that people often value their own success over the well-being of others, but it contains even more when examined under a closer lens. It opens the door to a completely new aspect of further analyzing the relationship between Wylan and his father, and introduces vital elements of in-depth characterization for both of them. The way Wylan and Van Eck each view the same religion is highly indicative of their individual values, and that is a very interesting thing to expand upon. It simply goes to show just how much thought went into creating both the culture of this world, and the characters who live within it.

[henrysglock]

[Lumax voice] Turn Around, Look At What You See! In Their Face...

(If you couldn't already tell: I have finally lost all my marbles.)

I'm sure this has occurred to other people by now, but if El's memories leading up to the 4.07 monologue are ripped directly from Brenner's (<- slayful Nat post, required viewing), and she runs in to see One killing Two...then doesn't it stand to reason that that is what Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room in 1979?

Now before anyone hops in to correct me: There's definitely a version of things where Brenner finds El alone in the rainbow room after the massacre. That's not in question. We all know that happened at some point.

(Regardless of the manner of death...no broken bones or gouged eyes...okay!)

However, as I'm sure we're all aware...these guys are different guys.

(This detail has been beaten into the ground but always bears repeating)

So, what is in question is what close-up Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room.

Those duplicate memories appear to belong to close-up Brenner:

i.e. not the Brenner who runs in and sees El at the start of 4.08. (This isn't to say that that Brenner doesn't have those memories or similar ones, but he's not the Brenner whose memories are being featured. Begone, thot.)

So, arguably, if El has close-up Brenner's memories...then she should be running in and seeing what he saw, no?

So what did he see? Someone just slightly shorter than him, who walked close enough to warrant a tight shot.

That POV (as has been discussed ad nauseam by many) is far too tall to be any version of El:

But it is about the right height for someone a few inches shorter than Brenner...something like:

So, tl;dr: I want to play a clip for you.

I love choreography and camera work. That's art right there.

However, that video doesn't include the subtitling that accompanies the visuals that link El finding One to Brenner finding El:

Now, it's difficult to compare anything after this point (though not impossible, can't keep a south Wisconsin boy down. I will be using them for comparisons later)...because of course that's when weird, random blood starts appearing:

Hence, the clock is visibly frozen after that point:

This smacks, to me, of the same kind of shit that happened with 004 when the kids were bullying El—Scenes that never actually happened in the real past being spliced into a tape that cuts off and then picks back up like no time had passed/nothing had been spliced in. It makes more sense if you read the post I linked, since the video in that post makes my point clearly.

< TANGENTIALLY RELATED >

The anime nerd in me is tempted to liken this whole deal ^ to JJBA/DIO's time-stopping stand "The World" in...that's right...Stardust Crusaders, wherein DIO pause time for everyone but himself, which I'm certain others have done as well.

Tbqh...I'm still here:

Specifically a reference to The World/DIO vs Star Platium/Jotaro, both of which are time-stopping stands...(Much to think about irt Jotaro/Star Platinum developing time-stopping powers later on in terms of El, sure, but also in terms of "Everything was hard for [One]...He walked in here, and it was like something had changed. He told me he had figured it out.").

[Distant screaming as I'm forcefully prevented from going on a "Stardust Spider-Stardust Crusaders-Dio Brando-Joestar Family-Dio's Bone-Green Baby-Green, Green Grass of Home" tangent in this post...and don't get me started on DIO's regen healing/vampirism from the ancient stone mask...don't get me started on King Crimson and Golden Experience Requiem either...]

Not to mention the DIO reference with One linking this scene to (you guessed it) Edward Munson:

Edward Creel proven once again, but this time it's via goddamn JJBA and Brenner fuckery. (And yes, yes, I know about DIO the band. This ain't about her. Things can have multiple meanings. It was a Choice to associate Henward with DIO and Eddie with DIO. I rest my case.)

< ANYWAY, TANGENTS ASIDE >

As I said earlier, close-up Brenner is shot at a distance baby El could never have achieved. She passes out on the far side of the room, entirely too far away to have been anywhere near close enough for a close-up of Brenner's face, height aside.

However, ignoring the blood fuckery and disappearing gate cracks:

Some-One else has enough energy left to walk towards the doors. All the way over, in fact. So while those close-up shots are 100% out of range for post-gate baby El, they're very much in-range for 3:46 PM One.

Tl;dr: It's entirely possible, if not likely (based on the choreography and camera-work in these scenes) that close-up/angry Brenner was addressing One rather than baby El.

[cherrytastiq]

Time Squad Character Analysis #1: Buck Tuddrussel

Hi guys ^_^ I've been wanting to do a genuine, in-depth analysis on the TS main trio for a while, based on what we're told / shown canonically or by the writers. And since Tuddrussel is the face of the Time Squad, I felt it was only fitting to start by analyzing him.

Backstory

Although we never get any deep insight into Buck's backstory, the show sprinkled a few hints here and there that allow us to have a pretty darn good idea of what his life was before Otto and the Time Squad.

The first time Buck mentions anything about his past is in Freud, where he goes on a small ramble about his time at "The Academy".

While we don't know what this Academy is exactly, it's safe to assume that it sounds like some sort of school for wannabe Time Squad cops, training them in combat and whatnot. It also seems to feature some sort of mental health faculty / therapy evaluations. These sessions were possibly forced, too, because Buck's not the type to go to therapy on his own will.

The therapy guys absolutely hit the nail on the head, though. Buck has a lot of trouble managing his anger; he has a very short fuse and tends to choose violence as his first option when going on missions, causing more harm than good to everyone involved. Of course, Buck ignores all of this and reduces it to "junk" and "head-shrinkin' mumbo jumbo". Speaking of Freud, I couldn't forget his psychoanalysis at the end of the episode!

Freud describes Buck as having an "overactive superego, which causes [Bucks] to force [his] will on those around [him]". My knowledge on Freudian psychology isn't great, but, I mean, do you really think the writers took their time to properly research it either? Skimming through a few websites (I am NOT studying Freudian psychology for a 2000s Cartoon Network show), the superego is in charge of making us act "civil" based on what our parental figures teach us in early childhood. Therefore, according to the show, to have an overactive superego means to have a strict set of rules and behaviors perceived as "wrong" that the superego wants to achieve, to a point that it expects everyone to follow said rules. Very fitting for a cop! Though the rules he follows aren't the ones society expects.

Buck's time at The Academy is explored further in Out with the In Crowd and Feud for Thought, both episodes telling us one key detail:

Larry's fatphobia aside, we learn that Buck was overweight back then, and even went to fat camp. Feud also tells us he was in chemistry club, meaning Buck isn't all brawn with no brain.

I'm 99% sure the "glandular thing" is just an excuse Buck makes to "explain" why he was fat back in The Academy. We see multiple times in the show that he's obsessed with working out and staying in shape, although his eating habits aren't particularly healthy. This tells me he was probably laughed at for his weight, and quickly began working out to stop the constant bullying. His reactions in both episodes to comments on his weight (embarrassment in In Crowd and straight up cowering in fear in Feud) tell me that, while Buck likes painting himself as a tough guy with no fears, he is horrified of the past and being seen as a wimp.

We get more insight on Buck's past, and specifically his childhood, almost immediately after Freud. One episode later, in Big Al, he reminisces about his life back on Earth:

Tuddrussel is clearly proud of his Texan / Cowboy heritage (something I'm sure Larry is veery fond of... More on that in his analysis) and absolutely adores guns. He was taught how to handle them from a very young age (around 7 or 8) and seems to be continuing a long heritage of policemen.

(Not pictured: Buck's gun magazines in Larry Upgrade, his reaction to Larry doing a "few alterations" to his Demonitor (?) 800... the list goes on)

A bit off the canon record, but co-writer Carlos Ramos once said he imagines Buck's dad to have been a "hard ass".

It's only fitting for his personality, after all. Speaking of fathers...

Tudd as a Father Figure ....of our country(EXTREMELY LOUD WRONG BUZZER)

Buck is damn proud to be what is basically an adoptive dad. In Father Figure, we see him get furious at George "I'm a better father to Otto than you will ever be" Washington, even flaunting his victory when Otto chooses him over the guy.

Tuddrussel's relationship with Otto is weird. He is as much of a parental figure as he is a prankster, an immature sibling. Sometimes he teaches Otto things like riding a bike and fishing (although in non-productive ways... I wonder what that says about his own upbringing?), and other times he's a sore loser at video games and is generally a bad example for a developing kid. In many ways, Otto ends up having to teach him, using flashcards and infodumping history lessons.

There is another analysis that goes more in-depth into this, though, in my opinion, ends up theorizing a lot of things we never see nor are implied, but I recommend you read it here. What it does get absolutely right is that Buck is a deeply complex character, afraid to fully commit to being a parental figure and instead retreating to childish actions. Just like Sheila explains in Ex, "[H]e's a man totally at the mercy of his own fragile male ego, who hasn't progressed emotionally or intellectually since early childhood!"

Buck and Sheila

As we learn in Kubla, Buck and Sheila got a divorce an unknown amount of time ago, and while Sheila holds no resentment, Buck seems bothered by their separation. When Otto tries bringing up the topic at the end of the episode, Buck immediately shuts him down.

Buck gets upset when learning Sheila took back her maiden name, even calling Sheila "hun". It's clear that Tuddrussel is very much hung up on their divorce and somewhat misses Sheila, although he's mortified of the idea of remarrying, as shown in First Flight when Amelia Earhart suggests the idea of wedding him.

A bit later, in Peace Surprise and Ex, Buck and Sheila start getting along more as friends who have fun together, while understanding that they could never work as a couple.

Toxic Masculinity

It's clear that Buck suffers from a lot of toxic masculinity. He refuses to engage with anything mildly feminine (like the pink cake in Poe), he deems himself tough and strong, and no strong man needs therapy. In fact, he doesn't need any help with anything! He's not weak, he can't afford to show weakness, he's a brave man. This sort of thinking is what most likely caused his divorce with Sheila, a topic he doesn't like bringing up at all. What was that thing about repressing old memories?

Although... this shell ends up breaking a little in Hate and Let Hate when he tries out cooking and ends up really enjoying it. And not just any cooking, it's foo-foo cooking. As the show goes on, Buck starts learning that maybe it's okay to like girly stuff... Sometimes. Baby steps.

Buck and Larry

Oh boy. Larry and Buck's relationship is... something for sure.

First off, Buck absolutely despises Larry. He hates how feminine he is, how he's a coward, a wimp, a sissy. He semi-frequently threatens Larry with hurting him one way or another, and insults him like the manchild he is. But you know what other feeling Buck has for him? Fear. Tuddrussel is terrified of Cartoon Network's sassiest (excuse my french) gay-as-fuck robot, and hates him having any kind of power or agency over him. Once again there's already an analysis on this here, so check it out. All in all, Buck's fear translates to anger and violent tendencies.

As per any other kinds of feelings, it's hard to say. Buck sees Larry as a robot who's supposed to follow his orders, him being the officer of the Time Squad unit and all. Comparing his beliefs on robots as servants to Sheila and JT's beliefs of robots as partners, we can assume this sort of thinking is old-fashioned and doesn't really reflect how the futuristic world sees robot society. Buck can't stand Larry acting like a human person with feelings, aspirations and a complex set of emotions.

(Stealing screenshots from my old analysis TEEHEE)

In some part, he's right to be mad. Larry wasn't programmed in the subject of history and doesn't act the way other robots like XJ5 and Lance do, so he's not a great help when it comes to their job. Tudd at least tries to do his job, while Larry A.K.A. The Robot Able To Look Up Anything, is too stubborn to try.

But, despite everything, Larry is still his partner, his buddy. Buck may not show it too often, but deep down he cares for the guy.

Final Thoughts

Jesus Christ I didn't think I would write this much. And Tuddrussel's not even my favorite character!

I'd say Buck Tuddrussel is the character with the most growth in the entire show, and he really makes an effort towards being a better person. He may not be the brightest and it might take a while for him to learn his mistakes, but his determination to keep moving forward really goes to show how strong he is.

[animentality]

Oh my GOD, the drama that's going on at my work...

So as some of you know, I've been getting bullied by my boss, let's call her Margaret because she's like Margaret Thatcher.

A Grade A bitch.

So Margaret will give me instructions that are wildly unclear, contradictory, or vague.

I'll give you an example.

We have a project that's basically comparing policy guidance from across different federal agencies with our own, so that we can incorporate their best language into our department's policy documents.

I wrote up a word document with policy analyses for all of our chosen examples.

Margaret said, I don't like this. I can't use it. I can't read it. Change it to Microsoft excel and make it like a checklist.

So I'm like alright, makes sense, my bad.

I do that.

She then complains that it's too much like a checklist and what she wanted was a detailed analysis that she could use.

Also that she can't read excel spreadsheets because there are..."too many words."

...

So. Yeah. Too many words, huh?

So I'm like...ok...but I already did that.

And she says, no you didn't, also I asked you to focus on finishing your analyses of all the departments, not to worry about the format. The format doesn't matter.

But here's the thing right.

The FORMAT MATTERS.

SHE LITERALLY TOLD ME TO CHANGE IT BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THE FORMAT MATTERS.

And she's starting to go off and she's beginning to yell at me here...in front of any entire team of people...and I just had to cut her off, because if I don't, she's just gonna rant at me for an hour and then hang up and neither of us will have what we want, ie, she won't have the product she's imagining (which doesn't exist apparently bc she contradicted her own wishes), and I won't have the guidance I need to make the product.

So I interrupt her and say I already did that. The analysis is done. Now it's just the format that matters.

Now, she's very angry about the interruption, because she CONTINUES to just bulldoze right over me and keep talking...

And my supervisor, let's call her Sarah, then explodes and says, "Let him talk! He's trying to explain to you what he did and you're not letting him defend himself!"

And audience.

Fellow countrymen...

I would kill for Sarah, I really would.

I was so happy to have someone speak up for me.

But anyway.

So we finish the meeting, although it's very icy and very angry.

And then Sarah calls me immediately.

And she says oh my god I'm so sorry about that, what was that BS?

And I'm like...I'm like so happy to have someone on my side that I just say thank you for standing up for me there.

And she goes into this wild ass, amazing rant and she DISHED, BOYS AND GALS AND NONBINARY PALS.

APPARENTLY, Margaret has bullied every single contractor she's EVER had.

The guy she keeps telling me to defer to?

She tried to FIRE HIS ASS like a month ago.

The guy she keeps saying is like a godsend because he's sooo helpful?

She tried to fire him in his first month.

She was also apparently so hated at her last office that she had to leave because she wasn't getting any respect. She's been shunted all over the department because no one can stand working with her.

She has such poor interpersonal skills and fails so hard at communicating that she literally has clashed with every single member of her team.

And she hates me because I'm harder to bully.

Because I know what the fuck I'm talking about and I don't let her beat me down with her backwards ass contradictory logic.

And here's the spicy drama...

Apparently when Sarah interrupted her earlier...she literally texted HER BOSS, let's call her Laura...to complain that Sarah and I are "working together" and "conspiring" against her.

because "Kai was contradicting himself and when I tried to call him out on it, he INTERRUPTED me and then Christine ENCOURAGED him to and I just thought you should know."

And I find that really fucking funny.

Because she complained to her boss...who immediately sent THAT SCREENSHOT TO THE SAME PERSON SHE WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT.

So YEAH Margaret. We ARE conspiring against you.

But you don't have any allies, as evidenced by the fact that complaining to your boss literally made her roll her eyes and say ah Margaret is at it again...to the same person that Margaret is bitching about.

Anyway.

Totally insane.

Sarah told me, you're very professional and reasonable and sweet, and honestly, I feel protective of you because you're the youngest member of the team and I know that working with Margaret might make you feel like you never want to work again...but you're honestly very good at your job and I won't let Margaret fire you...

And I was really floored by the show of loyalty...

I also laughed because she said, I don't mind taking the heat from Margaret. What's she gonna do, fire me? (She doesn't work for Margaret and is sort of lateral to her position anyway).

I'd like to see her try.

And anyway.

Anyway that was the beginning of my crazy day.

Honestly I'm just smiling.

I've never had a supervisor stick up for me as much as Sarah and I'd love to keep working for her...it's just a shame if she can't keep me from being fired by the madwoman that leads our team.

I hope she'll let me know if Margaret decides to fire me because I dared using Microsoft excel in her presence again...

I'm so sorry that when you work for the government, you sometimes have to read things...

So sorry. But what do you want me to do about it?

Why hire a writer if you're scared of reading?

[the-missann]

I've never had the chance to share this so ig I'll do it here.

So, I have a speech impediment. Yay.

Specifically a stutter and I've suffered bullying centered around my stuttering for years on end. (For some reason it was always by girls. Guys used to think my stutter was cute for some reason it's not btw).

My sutter is the prolongation of words and the block

I.e How areeeee you and I'm fin____

I wanted to share this for anyone else who's living with a stutter. I've noticed a few things.

I actually only stutter on vowels (lovely that every word has a vowel in it huh?)

I pretty much stop breathing when I talk (it's like my brain can only focus on one thing at a time)

Reading does not increase or decrease my stuttering.

I sometimes add extra words or pronounce words differently to avoid stuttering.

My stutter decreases dramatically when speaking to people who don't cut me off.

Now, I'll go through and explain them to help anyone who may have similar issues.

For 1, I noticed around four years ago that I actually only stutter on words that have a vowel sound. I sat down with myself and talked for a bit and found that every word I stuttered on, it was at the vowel sound.

Shockingly, even words that begin with a vowel sound I stutter over, I'll give details on that later.

So, the best way I've learn to handle this is to stop when I know a word has a vowel and I stutter on that word, so I'll say something like:

Everything is all ready done.

Separating them into two words seems to prevent me from stuttering.

2 might also just be my anxiety, but for the sake of this post, let's say it's not. I noticed I'm usually out of breath when I talk. I do talk fast, but I mean like I just ran a marathon out of breath from just saying a simple sentense.

The best way I can describe it is like when you're singing a song. You try and sing the full line as the singer does, but most of us haven't trained our lungs so we end up breathless by the end of it.

I still do this, but it's gotten better as I've learned to breathe from my diaphragm when I talk instead of my chest.

3 I'm really saying for anyone trying to help someone with a stutter. This does not help someone to calm their stutter. As a kid, my parents sat me down and assumed if I read aloud I would learn not to stutter, but it makes no difference.

My advice is to just be patient. That person knows they stutter, let them take their time and they'll eventually get out what they need to say. You're in no rush to hear what they say, so just let tham go at their own pace.

One last thing about this. DO NOT try and finish a sentence for them. It's bad enough we have a stutter, but if someone tries to fill in the sentence for us, our self esteem goes 📉📉.

For 4 (lol) this is a thing I developed and it works pretty well. This is the detail I was going to get into. So, sometimes I stutter over the word it, no Pennywise.

So, to stop that from happening since it is used a lot, I started saying "I T is like." Now, I don't say that in public, but I do with my family and the word is simple enough that no one is thinking too hard on what I spelled out.

But this is why I usually don't refer to things by their proper name (so if anyone here ever becomes my real friend, please know I'm not saying things wrong, I'll just stutter otherwise).

Lastly, 5. I would assume this is the same for everyone regardless if they have a stutter or not. When someone is cutting you off, it makes you rush your words, cut your words off, and stutter. So it gets worse for someone with a stutter.

I have very rarely encountered people who didn't try and cut me off because I paused to take a breath or held out a word. It's true that the anticipation of someone cutting you off sometimes makes you stutter.

I have my stutter under control a lot now, but it did take me a while to get to this point. So, for anyone out there who has a stutter, try and find out what makes your stutter tick and go from there to find ways around it.

This has been a PSA about stuttering, thank you for reading 🍂

Sorry, but last thing, since I'm a writwblr, I wanted to add how to properly write a character with a stutter.

We know t-the (repeating sound) stutter is a real one, but it's normally used for someone who's simply nervous. Someone who actually stutters would stutter at any point in time and sometimes in different ways (eg me having two versions of a stutter).

Also, know where your character's stutter comes from. Mines happens to be hereditary and environmental as I frequently get cut off and thus rush my words to get them out faster. It's also just kind of the way I am since I'm very fast paced and have a hard time "taking things slow"

It's also good to detail a tick or habit your stuttering character may have, like they stop talking and shake their head when pausing their stutter.

Oh, and it's true, cursing eliminates stuttering. There needs to be some testing done on that.

[valkerymillenia]

Finally had the appointment with the psychiatric specialist. Had to get up at 6am and go to a whole other city but I got it.

He was a guy (not the actual doctor I was supposed to see because she's on medical sabbatical). And he was nice but I am awkward with strangers and there were some things... Look, I just hate medical gender bias and there was a little here.

But most of all, there was... Some ableism?

Don't get me wrong, he was good and proper and did his job, he was also nice (and very young), but I was there for an ADHD and autism screening so I could have an official documented diagnosis and, well, there was quite a bit of gender bias about these disorders... And a significant amount of unconscious ableism too.

I'm already being treated for these things but my current doctors (psychiatrist, psychologist, and GP) don't have expertise in this area because these disorders aren't usually diagnosed in adulthood and that is their field, and this guy is the "expert" so we need his stamp on the matter just to dot the i's.

Turns out we didn't have enough time for all the tests because someone messed up and scheduled this as a follow-up appointment instead of an assessment but we made do. Here's my problem though: he only wanted to focus on the ADHD.

Also, he ignored a lot of details I was trying to put on the table but I might be reading too much into this.

According to him, yes, I definitely have ADHD and it's good that I'm already testing the medication for it but he wants to see what else he can do and if he can fix the side effects, but we didn't really have enough time for a full evaluation so he sent me home with a bunch of written tests to take so he can check them next month and have a more concise idea of my issues.

He also cut some of the older medication I had that is now obsolete with the new stuff.

I'm fine with all that. Grateful even.

But I wanted to talk about the autism diagnosis, I've been trying to approach this with doctors for years, I've desperate to be heard ever since I learned just how strongly the symptoms applied to me every since I was born, I'm been desperate ever since I discovered the gender bias in diagnosing females, I did so much research and talked to other autistic people and associations that gave emotional support, but the doctors keep brushing it off, not because they don't agree but because they literally don't want to talk about autism in general, they don't even wasn't to explain why they don't want to talk about it, the stigma is just too big.

Eventually, this is what this doc said:

"Look, autism is a spectrum and all so it's complicated. You definitely have serious autistic traits for sure but I don't think we should test you for it, there's no point because you're an adult and you've already learned coping mechanisms and masking the hard way, you struggled a lot but you're here, there's really not much else we can do help with and not much treatment we can give for this so why saddle you with a bad label?"

Like, it's so ableist. He totally missed the point? I told him I don't really care about what treatment they can give me, I just want confirmation because:

1. there's safety in labels, much more comforting to know I'm normal zebra and not a failed horse,

2. having the diagnosis gives me access to more information and a better ability to find good coping mechanisms and helpful tools for my daily life,

3. having the diagnosis allows me to find community and get mutual help and support without judgement,

4. having an official diagnosis helps me get certain amenities (or at least understanding) to make my life easier, be it with work or family life, even with social security or at certain events,

5. and finally, just because I survived my childhood without a label and found a way to blend in with neurotypicals doesn't mean that's a good thing (I was horribly bullied and abused for a reason), it doesn't mean that I'm currently happy pretending to be what society expects, doesn't mean it's not fucking exhausting, doesn't mean I don't deserve validation for my struggles.

But noooo, his whole focus was on "we can't medicate to FIX it so why bother" and on "what people would think of you if you had that label".

Bitch, I don't care about either of those, I don't care what people think of me, I care what I think of me, and autistic is not a slur, contrary to what people in this country seem to think! I just want to understand myself and my own struggles, and whenever I get harassed for being different I want to be able to defend myself with this knowledge.

For fucks sake, just test me and show some support!

I stg the doctors in this country are so scared of the word "autism", it's insulting.

[oc-aita]

AITA? (Sorry in advance that this is long)

My (?14) best friend H (M15) and I had been friends for 3 years now, but we'd gone to different schools the whole time. He didn't know my classmates, family, or other friends, and I counted that as a blessing.

I'm your stereotypical 'mean girl' type at school. Or at least, I'm friends with those girls. I'm mostly just complacent in their bullying. But I've allowed, ignored, and excused all kinds of shit ever since we were little. Mostly they're just badmouthing kids, but there's other aspects, too. I won't go into too many details, but if you know anything about the social hell that is bullying, you can guess a sample of the stuff that happens. I will say in my defense personally that at least I don't let them be particularly awful? Like, yeah, we're unkind, screwed up people to the kids my friends deemed as 'targets', but the particularly vile shit my friends try to say to them always gets my explicit condemnation.

I don't like being mean, I consider myself a nice person internally, but I'm actually stuck with my friend group. I have a controlling dad who wants me to act a certain way and hang with certain people, and even my friendship with H is highly secretive and behind his back, despite his flawless reputation and general fitting-the-bill of a guy my dad might allow me around. I've only ever expressed once that my friends are kinda mean (understatement, I know), and my dad freaked out at me. In short, I'm not allowed to not be friends with them. I'm not even allowed to be nice to their targets against their will.

I told H that once I entered his high school (he's a grade ahead of me) that he was going to think differently of me once he met my friends, but he brushed me off, saying he knew what kind of person I was and that nothing could be that bad. I tried to argue, but he assured me otherwise and dropped the subject. But due to a long series of contrivances, myself, H, and two of the kids my friends target most often, who will be known as R (F15) and C (M15) from here on, have been working together on what's effectively a series of projects, and will be for a while. R is our team leader, and C is her right hand man. They both fucking hate me, and I don't blame them at all.

R's pretty non-confrontational, and tries her best to keep everyone civil. She doesn't like me in the slightest, but doesn't want to have the team dogpile me for it, because she's really just too nice for her own good. We communicate as we have to, and that's that. C, however, makes it very clear to everyone that he never intends to forgive me or act as if I've been anything but awful to him - even though I haven't said pretty much anything personally, I'm sort of the de facto face of my friendgroup, which is more than bad enough. I won't act like he's even a little unjust for it, and honestly I deserve every word and more for never standing up for him, R, and everyone else.

At first H just assumed he was just holding some meaningless grudge and assumed C was a spiteful, shallow person, but after enough time I told H that he really should talk to C about why he dislikes me so much. For a while I didn't hear anything about the topic, but a couple days ago H called me, pissed off. He explained that C had told him all the things I'd overseen my friends do and say to him, as well as listed every instance of my direct interactions with him and R. To my surprise, I also learned of the things my friends had done when I wasn't there - and I was appalled. They were even worse when I wasn't around. They were vitriolic, cruel, and even took physical actions against them. To make a long story short, they once even broke something of C's that was really, really important knowing it would be hard to replace as well as expensive for his low-income family. I did my best to explain that I never would have approved of such a thing, as well as why I'm around those kinds of people at all, but H said that I was just making excuses and that, clearly, since I was friends with him, my dad can't control me as much as I act like. I wanted to point out that my dad knows my friends' parents and stuff like that, but he wouldn't let me, and I'm honestly not sure he's wrong about that anymore. Maybe I just assumed I was as powerless against my dad as I'd felt? I can't say. Either way, he told me my behavior was deplorable regardless of my explicit actions, and that he didn't feel like he could talk to me anymore for the time being outside of project work.

Am I the asshole for how I handled the situation? I know how R and C were treated is fundamentally wrong, but is there anything better I could have done?

[alyszaen]

Venting about some things I need to process TW: mentions of self-harm, relapse, mental health, sexual assault and death-threats

I feel like I need to get this off my chest in detail. I'll never process it if I don't.

Ce was my friend. She was my best friend. She was the girl I trusted with everything. She knew all my deep and dark secrets. This was primary school. When my bully started telling me I was ugly and worthless, she was there for me. Except she told An about it behind my back. She laughed about me behind my back. Ce, you were my best friend, but I was never yours.

Al was my friend. She was there with me when my bully threattened to kill me. She went to the self defense class with me, so I wouldn't need to be alone. We had a dynamic, no matter how much we fought you were there. But when you failed the classes you switched schools and never reached out again. I missed you.

Me was my friend. She was not in my class, but in the same year. We were the best little group, with her classmates in there. But whenever they hung out they didn't invite me. I wanted to be close to them, but they never let me into the last border. You didn't want me.

Em was my friend. She was her own kind of disturbed, but we vibed so well. She promised me I could get drunk this time and she'd protect me. Yet when he touched me she dismissed me and said "It's cool he does this." If I hadn't yelled at him and made him drive home drunk I would have been raped that night. You broke your promise. You would have let him. You made me self-harm.

Si was my friend. He was the person I told about everything. He was my trusted person when all the others left me. He knew my triggers. He knew I couldn't handle rape-jokes yet made them a lot. When Le joined the group and kept mistreating me and I told Si about it, he told everyone about how much of a "pussy" I was being. You lied to me.

Al was my friend. He was the one that told me what Si was doing. He was the one that picked me back up when I fell. We watched shows together daily, healing together. I was the first person you told about your date. I cheered you on the loudest. When she asked you to distance yourself you did it without question. You left me alone, after you knew how hard it was for me to trust anyone. You chose to ignore me and treat me like I didn't exist, after everything you knew. You made me relapse.

Ja was my friend. She was easier to trust because she was online. She was mute and never turned on her camera, but our messages meant so much. I felt like I was finally being understood. Until it turned out that she lied about getting into accidents. She was a pathological liar. She was a guy acting like a girl to get close to me. You made me incapable of trusting people that don't turn on their audio.

Di was my friend. He was a trusted person. It took me a year to open up to him. And when I finally fully did I felt safe. He was there for me through every hardship that followed. He was the one that actually got me to finally get diagnosed and medicated. But he started to make rape-jokes. And when I distanced myself to not get hurt again, he got mad. He spread rumors. He attempted to have me murdered. He told our friends he'd like to rape my dead body. You broke the last trust I had in anyone.

I can't trust anyone. You can say you are not going to leave me as often as you want, I'll never be able to believe you. I still give a general trust so easily. I still get attached so easily. But I'll never be able to give you that last bit of trust. I'll always be stuck on 80%. Too many people I trusted betrayed me. Too many people I thought had my back were the ones stabbing it. I try to be kind. I try to make everyone feel welcome. I try to be there for anyone who needs it. I try to be the shoulder to lean on. Because I don't want this to happen to anyone else. My heart aches at the thought that someone would be betrayed so often that they can't trust anymore.

8 friends. 8 BEST friends. 8 people I would have trusted with my life. 8 people that hurt me beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

[satohqbanana]

Satoh's Personal Comment-a-thon Part 3

About this new series/project: Since not a lot of people comment on my works, I’ll do it myself. :3 I aim to help myself get better by getting more conscious of how I write. One of the ways that I feel like I can accomplish this is to reread my works and post comments here. This not only helps me improve my craft but also promote my works.

Title: The Stink

Summary: Divorced from a Veldtonian?! How???

Warnings: Talks about body odor and an implied gross-out situation

Comments: It's time for ANOTHER review so here we go.

Off the bat, the author's note makes me smile. This is essentially a story about side characters. And I managed to still make it very interesting.

I find it amusing that Derez remembers Rhen and Lars coming by themselves into his shop some time ago to get some cool gear, and they are also polite enough to introduce their companions to him.

Right away, Derez finds a way to mention his little story. I have a stinking (ha) suspicion that he noticed Elini first, realized that it is a prime time to tell his stinky story and further "befriend" his patrons, and found a way to segue into that conversation. He's such a sly one!

I see a lot of online spaces where people who identify as women mention how much they hate men and all these aspects about them, but somehow I never see anybody mention body odor, which in real life I know is a huge turn-off. I guess not a lot of people discuss this in fiction, and even if they do, they have to also mix in stuff about bullying, gross-out, sexuality, and so on. I appreciate myself being able to talk about it in a way that would be more tasteful and light-hearted without leaning too hard on comedy.

Even the way I had Derez discuss the whole ordeal, including what seems to be Ilya's harmful behaviors, is I think quite tasteful. I love his voice, and I love the choices he made when telling his story. He doesn't go into unnecessary detail. He's not upset enough at her or their former relationship to trash her name, but he's clearly delighted by all of what had happened so far and he wants to share that, well, it is possible to annoy someone to the point of getting what you want.

And, of course, I adore having the guys of the party become very self-conscious of how they smell like after Derez' little speech. Smell is not something that is easy to hide, after all.

Finally, the reveal occurs through Lars, who had the opportunity to talk to Ilya. Like the last line says, that explains some things.

Overall, while I don't think a lot of people would've liked this, I like it. It's got that touch of realistic life situations TM in a light-hearted scenario. Solid 10/10 for me!

[mirimirionthewall]

Okay, preemptive begging of pardons as this is my first attempt at anything like this, but this has been HAUNTING me. Not only can I not stop thinking about it, I'm hormonal as all hell and feeling the angst, so I'm specifically thinking...

TW/Content warnings; dark!Kate Laswell, emotional manipulation, talk of low self worth, reference to past bullying and harassment, mention of kidnapping and being drugged, mention of torture but no detail/description, suicidal mindset/thoughts

What if you met on an op? You weren't one of her people, and you certainly weren't one of theirs-at least, not technically. You were just some civilian, caught in the middle as a hostage. And just when you thought the day to end your days was here, the doors are blown, and in strolls Perpetual HBIC Kate Laswell, personally leading the strike team and taking out the bad guys.

OF COURSE, you're moonstruck over her. How could you not be?! Have you SEEN her?! HEARD her calm, cool, collected commands of her people (and of comforting you!! And your fellow hostages I guess) and in that VOICE?! AFTER SHE LITERALLY SAVED YOUR LIFE???!!?! Moon. Struck.

 But the first time you catch her looking your way? She's merely taking stock of the situation, obviously. The second or third times? She's concerned about the hostages, that's all, and of course that includes you. The fourth through fifteenth? You were probably imagining things.

When this continued as she followed to the med center where you were all evaluated before you could be released, and the woman in the bed next to you kept pointing it out with a nudging elbow of encouragement? Well, that's a thing, right? When people fall in "love" with someone they saved? Like the opposite of Nightingale Syndrome or whatever, right? Because there's simply NO WAY she'd ever actually want YOU. Almost literally everyone you ever knew in your most formative years made sure to let you know so until, even after all these years, you still hear it in your own voice in your head.

 But that just works to her advantage, you see. Because, she DOES want you. And wounded prey is easier to catch.

Something something, sorry, head empty, only little thought

But fast forward and you fell for her trap, but because of your self image/esteem, there's always that niggling little part of you that worries she's only with you because she feels obligated to, like she HAS to keep protecting you.

Not only, purely, of self esteem issues, but also because of what she's been saying to you.

 Kate Laswell rarely miscalculates. But rarely isn't never.

She thought, as your relationship progressed and deepened over the years, that her words were of encouragement. That these subtle reminders that she COULD get someone younger, prettier, who complained less about the long hours and dangerous ops, were the fenceline pinning you in. But you always feared the opposite. And having the lengthy history you do with these issues, you also learned (the hard way) that partners "don't want to hear all that", or to be "burdened with YOUR issues", and God forbid you ask they "change their behavior to accommodate YOUR issues", so you keep the slow spiralling descent of your mental health to yourself. And Kate, being the all encompassing badass that she is, could never fathom that-has never had to, really, and so she wouldn't. Have. A. Clue.

Until it's too late.

Your mental health has taken too far a slip down that hill, and you are CONVINCED that you were right all along, your wonderful, amazing, literal hero to the world, practically a saint of a wife, couldn't possibly be manipulating you in hopes of keeping you all to herself, forever. No. Obviously, you were right on thinking it was the reverse Nightingale thing, and the charm has worn off, and she feels trapped.

By you. 

And her reiterations of the aforementioned "younger, prettier" comments, only drive the belief home. You are clearly doing what's right, what's best, what needs to be done. This is what SHE wants, and you've been selfish enough to deny her that all these years.

Her practically throwing all the assets at you are salt to the wound-she really wanted to be rid of ANYTHING to do with you!

 And then your life goes to SHIT. And how could you POSSIBLY ask for her help?! After YEARS of hoarding her wrongly earned affections in such a self-serving manner?!

But then they take you.

You don't know who, or where, or even really why (whoever their pharmacist is, they've got the GOOD SHIT), just that they are ordering you to call Kate.

And you do, blubbering and hysterical and kind of choking on your own spit. And she cuts you off, barely a few words in, shouting over the engine (of the boat you never wanted her to get) to her girlfriend (younger, prettier, and got together with her after only 2 weeks) that it was "just" you, and "nothing to worry about" before hanging up.

She well and truly, NEVER wanted you.

Right?

So then when they record themselves torturing you on your own phone, sending it to Laswell, she finally realizes how serious this was. She shouldn't have interrupted you. She rounds up the 141, all her best behind-the-scenes people to boot, and they all collectively put their nose to the grindstone, and they get a location. They storm in.

You, after a few days of silence, being ignored, then hearing all this ruckus, assume they must have gotten their hands on somebody ACTUALLY important to Kate. Obviously. She didn't even come to help after they took that video, which you can only assume means she finally caught on to how horrible and selfish you had been, and hated you now, justifiably so. Obviously.

So when Soap breaches the room you're held in, you. Flip. Shit. 

You're hysterical, even moreso than anything they saw in that godawful film. And you can not be consoled. Finally he tries to radio for back up, call it in so she can come and comfort you-"tha's whit ye need, aye?" And you DOUBLE DOWN. Hysteria, pleading, BEGGING. "Please just kill me- don't let her know I'm here, she's going to be so mad! Please!" You were unknowing that he already held the line open, and she was finally knowing just how badly she fucked up.

So, yea.

ANGST

(I purposefully left the cause of insecurities vague, because being a plus size, chronically and mentally ill, afab queer, I am painfully aware that there are oh so many drains on the self esteem)

sy of syoddeye fame, do you have thoughts about divorcee kate?

hi! hell yeah i do, thanks for the free worm food.

i think divorced!kate is a different animal than say, divorced 141, specifically price. she's not going to chase you or keep you against your will.

you're done with her? you don't want to work on your relationship? fine. any possessiveness or protectiveness she might've felt for you dissipates the second she's served the papers. you want your freedom so bad, fine. she'll find a younger, hotter version of you by the end of the week.

she behaves so amicably during the divorce process. she gives you what you want. the house, the car, even the dog. she's fair and sympathetic, and bids you well. you know your lawyer thinks you're nuts for letting her go.

just don't be surprised if the company you work for is suddenly under investigation or if your parents are visited by the irs. don't think about it too hard when your dating profiles keep getting deactivated, and several social media platforms ban you.

and definitely don't think you can swallow your pride and reach out to her for help for any of it. she's busy ferrying around some cute thing on the boat you didn't want her to buy.

[curejiraiya]

Episode 1 of Knick's somewhat nightly OC lore, today's OC is my boy Derrin!

I don't remember his last name, you'll find that a lot of my OC details I either can't remember or have placeholder names that have been placeholders for 10+ years. I don't really need to give them real names unless I was to make some official work or something, so I don't.

Anyway, Derrin is 26, his birthday is June 21st. He's been married to his husband Jay (they took Derrin's last name) for 5 years. Derrin is grayace or somewhere on the ace spectrum I haven't thought too hard about labels because Derrin is the kind of guy who wouldn't want a precise label. He's approximately 5'5 which makes him pretty short, but probably the median height of FIF members.

FIF is the band my OCs are all either in or have their life revolve around. It stands for Funeral in Flames. I made up this band name when I was 12 years old don't laugh. Nowadays I pretty much always call them FIF pronounced like the beginning of Fifth. (This is a lie I called them funeral in flames maybe 5 times while writing this and had to go back and fix it while I'm spell checking, but I cringe at their name. Maybe I'll tell you what it's from someday)

His hair is dark reddish brown and straight, and he keeps it short but not buzzed. He dresses the most formally of all my OCs, think like sweater vests and button downs at all time. Derrin is the only member of FIF to actually finish college, but it took him like 7 years on and off. He has a law degree that he only got this past January, and he finally took the BAR over the summer. (I don't know how law degrees work but however they work assume he did those things.)

Derrin is a first generation American to two Filipino parents. Both his parents died when he was 10 in a car accident and he became an orphan, because all good OCs deserve a tragic backstory. Because of this he regrets not knowing much about his parents culture, despite his parents both speaking Tagalog they did not teach him. They distanced him from their culture so he wouldn't be bullied growing up in America, and he regrets not asking them to teach him about their past because now he just doesn't know.

Derrin got his law degree to help out a charity he helped found that helps first generation American orphans. He started it when he was only 19. It's not only him though and at this point he's more of a speaker and a figurehead then an active worker, but he didn't know that's how it was gonna be when he started his degree like 7 years ago.

Because all my characters need a huge character flaw, his biggest flaw is his multi year battle with alcoholism. He was introduced to drinking at a concert when he was just 15 and unlike the rest of his friends he quickly developed a bad relationship with alcohol and drugs in general. Just recently like within the past month he returned from the third rehab stay of his life, and though he thinks he's finally clean; for the sake of me continuing his story he's probably not. Sorry man.

Derrin also writes a lot of poetry in his free time, one of two FIF members to do so. He currently plays drums or keyboards in the band depending on the song, they switch who's playing what a lot. Most of the songs FIF writes are co-written by Derrin and Chris with the other 5 members giving less but still always some input. Derrin isn't an incredibly strong musician like Chris is, but after doing it for so many years (he joined the band at 14) he's gotten pretty good and knowing what kind of music sells. He's also an amazing lyricist, and within the bands fandom they say anytime their lyrics are poetic and complex Derrin probably wrote them.

I could talk a lot more about the band itself and its history and rise to fame, but maybe another time.

My OCs world has a magic system, but I don't have to explain it right now because Derrin is the only one of my OCs that isn't a magician whatsoever. He helps when they do like "magic tasks" but he's almost always the guy who tells innocent bystanders to get the fuck out of the way, and not anything more.

He did end up being a guide to a lot of non human magical beings (god ill explain them another time too ig, or maybe I'll never post about this again who knows) but it sort of happened by coincidence. A lot of them look up to him though, and when nothing else is going on he'll hold little "learn to be human" classes for the magical guys. He definitely doesn't do any of that alone, but he also serves as a figure head for this because he's the only one in the friend group who's a non magician, and that makes him interesting and weird to all the magical beings.

I hope that paints a small picture of Derrin! He's a good boyo, him and his husband have a really cute relationship dynamic where he's the stereotypical husband and his husband fits the wife role more, but his husband is 5'11 and built. It's cute.

Also out of all my OCs Derrin is one of two that would have a Tumblr, but Derrin is the one who's most tumblr-kin, like the "I unironically said the shoelace thing when I was 16" kinda Tumblr user. You know?

[koutaroulogy]

ITTO? MORE LIKE TITTO! (arataki itto x reader)

contains: us bullying his tits. his tiddies. his biddies. his man boobies. his g cup boobies. his breasts.

details: he's shy about it. you would know. you were a virgin once too.

real warnings: mild dubcon, misogyny, deflowering, breeding, bulging, tits, more tits, pregnancy mentions, tit-smacking, oni knots, knotting, first rate tits, s-class tits, teasing, a bit of degradation because why not, did i mention tits already?

notes: betaed. thank you sol @xianoii , this is for u and ur gorgeous collab. lurv you always! sorry if this is vvy late but i wanted the best !

his upper clothes flew across the room. "you got these out in the open all the time! are you trying to whore yourself out? you minx!" your cruel laughter resounded through his eardrums like a vice. he wants to be really mad at you, but your hand on his teat is making him hard for it to do so.

"s-stop that!" he thrashed. you clicked your tongue.

"no can do 'taki. i'm trying to help you aren't i? lift those up with your hands f'me!"

he thrashed again. you did it for him instead, quickly straddling his wide chest like a saddle. he's too kind to throw you off like a ragdoll yet he's too rough to sit still.

stupid. he's so stupid. he wanted a wife, he's getting a wife.

you clicked your tongue again, grinding over his boner. he grunted when he caught a glimpse of your pussy that had been covered by your yukata, shiny with slick. "your tits are spilling out. what are you, some kind of hostess from the red light district? no wonder people think so dirty of you!"

"better let go of me before i make you," itto growled.

"big talk for a guy who's a virgin," his member strained, a wet stain showing as precum flitted through the fabric of his jinbaori.

"don't-!" itto practically wailed when you pulled his trousers down.

your mouth took its words back. "archons..."

you're practically drooling. he's huge, absolutely huge that his length's practically reached your belly button. little spikes formed underneath the skin of his cock while the crown was already out of its hood, slit leaking precum.

it looks to be at a good twelve inches, you thought absentmindedly while your fingers flitted around his cock hole, causing him to cry out at the sudden sensation. won't he impale you with that thing? oh well. trial and error as they say.

"hey, can i suck your dick? oh right, you didn't have anyone who did it for you!" he's practically mortified, blushing and dick twitching untouched. "you're so sensitive and i'm not even touching you- how cute ♡!"

your palm feels so soft, he thinks. his nails dig into his fists and you notice the action. he might be nervous, but that's okay. weren't we all at our first time?

"don't worry, 'taki. you have the prettiest dick in the whole world."

you looked up when there was no reply. the oni was covering his head with his arm. you think he still had the gall to be embarrassed when he swings his tits around in public. you reach his hand only to hear him sniffle.

ah, so he was crying.

"'m sorry i'm being mean. i won't do it anymore," you cooed. you had every intention to tease him, degrade him for his soft heart.

but even oniis can cry too.

you hopped off his abused tits, coaxing him to stop crying. hiccups remained.

"it's just-" he wipes his tears and you frown, waiting, "this is my first time so-"

you jumped on to your knees, spreading your legs and letting the yukata that had been covering you fell, revealing your naked form prominently. his cock twitched as he stared wide-eyed at the pink muscles clenching and unclenching while you held your pussy lips open for him to see.

"i'll let you take me yourself, if you're that nervous."

arataki's hands are big and clumsy, trying to slip his dick inside yet failing at it, pretty much slicking you up with precum as his lube. you aplaud him for the natural talent he had but didn't know of. itto holds his girth instead, letting the hardened penis slip slowly into your inner muscles.

"oh," you almost came. he's stretching you out so much he's practically adjusting your pussy to fit his size.

"t-tight..." he grunts.

"feels so good, so big you're g'nna split me open," you mewled and watched him thrust slowly as if he's taking his time. you twisted your hips teasingly and watched him grit his teeth.

his patience brewed thinner than ever, and the thread snapped as he found himself pulling out and flipping you over, cock resting on your belly and grazing you with its little spikes. he shoved it in like an animal as your eyes widened, your lips pouting in surprise while you swore.

"yeah? you like that huh? you fit around me so perfectly!" he smiled all while he's fucking you and he's hitting you in the right places. your eyes crossed, your fists bunching up the futon underneath you while he rocked into your cunt.

the tables are turned, and the oni has grown confident. as you're busy losing yourself to the throes of pleasure, feet moving up to rest across his back and it makes you stick closer to him while he's fucking you up into the high heavens- he takes this moment to observe you.

legs on his shoulders, cute little pudge jiggling on your stomach and arms as you rocked back and forth along with him; nails digging and creating lines along his broad back, lips swollen and eyes tearing up from the feeling of it all.

you look absolutely divine.

"i'm gonna cum-!" your cries spurred him on. oh, oh. you're so pretty he's gonna die looking at you just like this.

how about babies? a whole fuckin' litter of chubby oniis?

he can't really lie. he really wants to envision you swelling in all the right places with his children.

"go on baby, you can take it. take all my cum like a good wife, yeah? hah, fuck... "

you gagged. you could feel him hitting your cervix. he could feel it too. just a little more and he's going to slip in your womb and give you a reason to stay at home and be the wife he always wanted you to be.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!" your whining made him growl and keel his head to settle in between your neck and shoulder. the knot that had been steadily growing ballooned in your pussy, locking in his cock that remained thrusting inside until he felt himself burst.

your tummy poked, you could feel yourself bulge. he's panting, settling inside your cunt while his cock softens and makes its home inside your pussy that's next to overflowing, nestling in your womb like it was his second nature to do so.

"'m gonna fill you up real good," he's cooing and he's thrusting again. you respond with a mewl, eyes crossed and lips pursed between your teeth, "gonna give you a baby like i always wanted, sweet wife."

itto panted, white seed still painting the insides of your pussy raw. confidence glimmers amidst his lust filled eyes.

"that's a good cunt, darlin'. a real good cunt to have my babies in."

[sayahs-corner]

Fanfiction by Sayah

Boy do I love me some Stony, but I try not to limit myself to any one ship.

I write mainly smut with darker themes. I do like a happy ending, but I like the angst too much to write fluff.

If suffering, angst, and questionable morals aren't your cup of tea - please don't read my work, you probably won't like it.

If you are under 18, please don't read. Almost nothing I write is for young eyes.

Below are all my works, so far, in the Marvel Universe.

Secrets Don't Make Friends

Summary: Tony Stark has a secret. Several, in fact. Outed to the world as an Omega, he finds himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. His only hope at salvation rests upon the strong shoulders of a certain Captain Steven Rogers. The problem? Rogers hates his guts.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: AU, Past Abuse, Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Bullying, Past Abuse, ABO, Omega verse, Omega Tony Stark, Alpha Steve Rogers, Power Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Hurt Tony Stark

Red Handed

Summary: A One Shot in which Tony Stark is a vigilante on the wrong side of the law. Things go sideways, and he ends up getting caught red handed by Captain America. Ironman has been a thorn in the side of the Avengers for too long, and Steve is more than happy to serve up a hot, steamy, glass of justice to his wild and irksome nemesis. That is, until Tony comes up with a proposition for the Captain.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Shameless smut, TonyxSteve, Stony, Dub con, Dubious Morality, Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Rough Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Rough Blowjob, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content

Teach

Summary: Tony is the new teacher at Belvalle Academy, where the more notorious crime families send their kids, and has run into some trouble with a group of students. Bullied and beaten, Tony is rescued by none other than a Mr. James Barnes, one of his rather lack-luster students...when he actually show up to class. It isn't long before Tony discovers that James Bucky Barnes doesn't help anyone for free, and if he wants the protection the younger man can provide, he's going to have to pay a price for it. Tony can't afford to pay with cash on his limited teacher's salary, so Barnes comes up with a more...creative way that Tony can pay off his debt.

Pairing: Bucky x Tony, Bucky x Tony x Clint

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Some serious AF dubcon, blackmail, AU, Student/Teacher, Student Bucky Barnes, Student Clint Barton, Teacher Tony Stark, Bullying, Anal sex, Blowjobs, Verbal Humiliation, Threesome, Voyeurism, Deepthroating, PWP

Beauty in the Broken

Summary: Tony Stark is a halfbreed Omega on the run. Notorious for being uncatchable and outwitting those who would try to tame him, Tony doesn’t stay in one place for very long. He doesn’t want to be tied down or beholden to any Alpha because in his experience they bring nothing but pain and terror. Besides, Tony has not met a wolf he can’t outrun or outfox.

Until now.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: AU shifter fanfic, Past Rape (underage - I don't go into extreme detail about this, but if this is triggering for you please do not read), Past Child Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alpha/Omega, ABO, Mildly Dubious Consent

Bound

Summary: A non powered AU in which Tony is a young college student with a vendetta against some of the guys on the hockey team who bully him mercilessly. He concocts a plan to get revenge in an epic way. The only problem? He broke into the wrong house… in more ways than one. August_2022: Where it all went wrong, Twisted Fairy Tales

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony, StevexTonyxBucky, Stuckony Rating: Explicit Tags/Warnings: AU fanfic, dubcon, non con, bdsm, bondage, spanking, anal fingering, anal sex, rough oral sex, hurt/comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, blackmail, threesome

The Storm

Summary: Steve and Tony haven't seen eye to eye in a long time. Once inseparable, the two can no longer stand the sight of each other. But when he gets a call from Natasha telling him that there is something seriously wrong with his ex-lover, Tony rushes out into the wilds of Maine to meet her.

Only...there's a blizzard. And when he finally reaches the cabin, it's not Natasha there waiting for him. But Steve himself.

Crafty Russian.

For @captain-stark-rogars (hope you don't hate it! :P) Prompt: Stony on the verge of Divorce but end up stranded ((snow storm?)) and they realize there is a ember burning…they end up wanting to work it out …((maybe sexy time ?))

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, angst, makeup sex, sex on the kitchen table, snowed in

Rocky Road

Summary: Tony Stark has been kidnapped... again. This time is different that the others, though, because his kidnappers are not interested in a ransom. They mean to kill him. His only hope rests upon the smashed smartwatch on his wrist that doesn't seem to want to work. When a call finally goes through, it's to the last person in the world he wants to talk to. His ex-boyfriend, Grant Stevens, who he put in his phone as FuckHead.

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Mature

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, angst, identity porn, secret identities, college age Tony, Steve comes out of the Ice sooner, AU, Feral Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Nazi Punching, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Rescues, HEA

The Tribute

Summary:

He was being hunted.

Which, yeah, okay, was maybe the point of this whole stupid, archaic, tradition. Tony was supposed to be hunted. He was supposed to be chased down by the mythical creatures that haunted these woods. And when they caught him he was supposed to submit, to give himself body and soul, to whatever creature chose him as theirs for the night.

He was supposed to be a sacrifice. A gift of submission to appease the creatures who dwelled in the forest that surrounded the sleepy little town of Pine Hollow. His submission was reparation for a debt owed.

Allegedly.

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Non con, Extremely Dubious consent, Werewolf AU, Werewolf Steve, Human Tony, Monster/Human sex, Voyeurism, Human Sacrifice (sexually)

[enha-doodles]

Can you write an expanded version for sunghoon from the one enhypen reaction to you rejecting their confession. Like what happened in detail but in a fic or one-shot.

-🎀

Hey 🎀 anon , I couldn't write more than this due to lack of time but I hope you liked it ^^

.*･ﾟʚ SUNGHOON YANDERE FIC - (drabble 1) ɞ.*･ﾟ 

➸ʚ pairing ɞ : sunghoonxreader!

➸ʚ genre ɞ : yandere

➸ʚ warning ɞ : mention of bullying , hitting ...

➸ʚ Disclaimer ɞ : yandera relationship is not good at all and is very toxic . This is all a work of fiction and my imagination . Credits of the GIFs to the owners . None of the members have the same personality or resonate the traits mentioned below .

Your first day of your new school was up and you were definitely excited . You had got everything new and the clothes were the best part . This school didn't had a fix uniform so you bought the clothes you liked . Cardigans and baggy pants . It looked really cute . You left your home with your driver which was a female . You two talked for bit and then you arrived . After bidding her bye with a wave , you spun on your heels and entered the school gates . You could feel all the eyes that were starting at you . You knew it was common since new people always gets attention . You entered the hallway and that's were you and your life took a turn . (Lol sorry)

When you were finding your homeroom , you were met by a guy bullying a nerd . Some people were just watching , recording or laughing . Nobody was helping so you decided to be the one . We'll hero gets consequences too , right ? "Where's my homework you book worm" The guy exclaimed hitting the boy . "I am sorry Sunghoon I forgot it . You can take mine" the nerd was at the verge of tears ."Yah you . Stop bullying people " when Sunghoon turned around he was met by your blank face . 'who is she and why is she saving him' was the first though that came into his mind . "yeah and who are you to tell me that doll " he said leaving the nerd who ran for his life , quietly thanking you from afar which you acknowledged with a nod . Hoon started walking towards your direction . He came face to face with you and you did what came into your mind . You slapped him . Hard . Many gasps were heard and he was furious . Rather than gasps there were laughs too and some people even got it on tape . Victory for them ? "No one you need to know and stop it because it's not funny nor cool " you walked away unknown to the danger coming behind you . He was humiliated but more of he was angry . "Your gonna regret it doll."

You went to the staff room to take your schedule and dorm keys . After coming out of the staff room you were suddenly pulled into the janitors closet and you heard the door being locked "who tf-" you were met buy sunghoon's gaze and you knew you were fucked . "What ? Why did you pull me here ?!" He flipped you to the door and pinned you . "You think you can slap me and get away with it so easily ? I don't think so doll ". His hands were beside your face and he was close . Too close for your liking . "First of all back tf away and secondly you deserved it" he chuckled . He was amused , it was af if he didn't want revenge now . It was you who he wanted now . "Ahh your a feisty one , I really like you . Be my girlfriend " he said so proudly as if you would directly say yes . "Dude are you in the right state of mind ? Heck no " Oops . That got you to be yanked back and forth really hard and his face became serious . He held you jaw tightly and inches close to you . "You have no say in this doll , you are mine from now" with that he slammed his lips on yours . He was so harsh that it hurt . Your tears wouldn't stop and so would he . You were pushing him but he was clearly stronger . After you finally managed to push him off you and ran away but you knew that wouldn't be the last time he was approaching you .

This was something that freaked you out so much that you couldn't get any sleep that night . You were more afraid because you had to see him again tomorrow too and that jerk could possibly try something on you again . You did your routine and went for your school . You were thinking of skipping it but it was just the second day so you had to go . When you safely made it to your locker without any trances of hoon you were happy . Guess you celebrated too soon . You felt someone behind you and when you turned around it was him . Park Sunghoon . Standing tall with the evil smirk that showed the power he had . You knew you had to be strong . "Fuck off " he just laughed and inched his face closer mockingly saying "where was this strong girl in the janitors room , hmm ?" You were annoyed and just pushed him and walked away fastly thinking 'what an asshole '.

The school was finally over and you got a text message from the driver staying she had some emergency so she can't come to pick you up today . Guess walking it is then.

While you were walking you could swear someone was following you . Learning from the movies you didn't turn back to give them a chance to make you unconscious instead you lead them the wrong way . When you couldn't feel anyone close you stepped out of your hidding spot and were relieved when there really was no one . "Finding me?" You knew the voice and were gonna run when he stepped in front of you making you back away .

"Why are you following me you jerk?!" you questioned all bravely with anger evident in your voice . But the colour of your face drained out when you heard his next sentence followed by an pyschotic laugh " I am here to take you with me since you didn't agree the other day , I told you you were mine and I do what I say " you were too focused on how to run away that you didn't see the syringe coming your way . When it hit your neck you looked at Sunghoon in fear which added to his excitement. "When you wake up ,I'll be by your side , don't worry and sleep well " he smiled . Oh how you wished you never crossed paths with him .

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

Hey I saw your Link belly bullying ask! I was hoping we could get some more of that good stuff since it seemed you had a lot of detailed ideas, with weight gain as well please.

Oh I’d love to do more with that. I'll use the other characters I had ideas for. Sorry if these are a bit too long though--I'd formate them as stories if it was feasible to break them up more. But due to length, I'll stuff these under a read more.

"Your highness, I must insist that you reconsider--!" Sharp teeth clamp down before the face of the pleading Z.ora and a resounding gulp sends him down the hatch. The face bulges out S.idon's neck before disappearing past his chest. His belly gains another notch as he aids yet another of his many subjects to his bubbling, boiling tank--a sloppy belch rumbles out of his jaws, making his face flush red. "O-Okay...that's...about half of my staff, five R.ito, three H.ylians, and--BWWWWOOORP!--ugh...one Lynel..." He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling his stomach bounce and shake as all of his meals kick around inside. "Are you finally satisfied with seeing the capacity of Z.ora royalty, L.ink?" He tries to peer past his stomach to see his friend, who had been pestering him all day since he'd read some texts explaining the dietary habits of the royal Z.ora family, but S.idon's stomach is so massive that he can't seem to. "L.ink, are you still there? Please don't tell me you left me while I'm like this." After a few seconds of silence, S.idon feels two hands push down hard on his stomach. His eyes widen as a massive belch roars out of him, making the steelwork of their kingdom shake under his feet. His entire face goes red as he lets loose for nearly twenty seconds. When it finally stops, he puts his hands over his mouth and he can hear L.ink laughing just out of view. "L-L.ink! That wasn't funny!" Completely flustered now, S.idon moves without thinking and swings his heavy stomach forward. It hits L.ink and he can hear a yelp as he knocks the hero off his feet and onto the floor. Before the man can get up, that large gut is on top of him, smothering him into the floor. After such a big belch, his stomach is stretched tightly, showing off the bulges of his still live meals struggling inside of him--a few of the softer ones had folded from how constricting it got in there and are little more than a bubbling slop in the bottom of his gut. S.idon can feel L.ink struggling under him but his stomach is far too heavy to move. The prince crosses his arms with a frown. "If you want to act like a child, then I'll treat you like you. You can sit under there and think about what you did. I'll let you up once I've finished processing all of this food you convinced me to eat." He can feel L.ink continue to struggle against his stomach but he leans forward on it and quickly puts an end to that. In reality, S.idon did quite enjoy letting loose and pigging out like this. The tightness of his gut, the heavy groans and churns of it chugging along, the sense of power feeling all that live prey struggling inside of him--it's all so addictive, even for such a friendly guy. What he didn't appreciate was being L.ink's plaything and the butt of his jokes, so it's only fair for the price to get the upper hand. His powerful stomach only took another hour to process everything inside, and while he's no stranger to live meals, he hasn't indulged quite like this before. S.idon's normally lean stomach now hangs heavy before him, so much so that he can still use it to keep L.ink smothered under it. The muscles he's gained from so much swimming have been smothered under squishy, soft chub that's left his arms and legs and hips much thicker than before. Even the sharp features of his face have rounded out somewhat. S.idon finally rises to his feet, his stomach wobbling as he does. L.ink is splayed out on the floor, his expression dazed. The prince feels a bit bad for him but doesn't want to think L.ink has gotten off so easily, so he keeps on the stern expression. "I hope that was an enlightening experience for you, L.ink. While you're catching your breath, I must step out." He tries to keep some kind of regalness to his leave but the groaning of his bowels makes him rush a bit. There are plenty of deep caves far underwater he can get to--he'll have to leave the mass of waste he's built up in one of them. He'd be absolutely devastated if anyone could find something so...unbecoming of him.

"That's it...it's time for...my secret technique!" This was Master K.ogha's final gambit to destroy L.ink. With a throw of his hand, a scrap of paper flies up into the air above him, exploding in a huge puff of smoke to reveal...nothing. Kohga was still for several seconds before he starts flailing his arms again. "H-Hey, which of you numskulls forgot to replace my secret technique?!" L.ink comes charging in with his sword, with K.ohga barely manages to avoid. Now he's getting a bit panicked. He needs something big and unstoppable to crush this annoying pest! If he doesn't have his secret technique and those useless clan members couldn't slow him down then...wait, that's it! K.ohga disappears from sight and reappears farther away, his fist full of the scraps of paper he uses to summon things. He crams them all into his mouth and swallows hard. L.ink wasn't wasting any time in this and comes charging after the Y.iga Clan leader again, ready to attack him. But right as he gets close, the man's stomach suddenly expands. L.ink got out a shocked cry before he's knocked down and suddenly covered. K.ohga's stomach was about as big as he was but much, much wider. His outfit was made to be stretchy, so it has no trouble containing and morphing to his gut, which is now stretched out over a lot of Y.iga members. K.ohga pants a bit as he adjusts to the sudden heavy weight in his stomach, but once he does, he starts laughing with his hands resting on his hips. "Spectacular! How's that for a secret technique, hm, hero?" He leans forward on his stomach, grinding against it just to make sure it's really rubbing into L.ink down below. He can feel the H.ylian trying to move, but the immense weight seems to be making that difficult. K.ohga throws his head back for another victory laugh but it ends up coming out as a massive belch instead. He's sent plenty of unqualified and downright useless Y.iga members down the hatch before--he had to get that pot belly from somewhere--but this was far more than he's ever done before. He uh...honestly hadn't expected this to work. But now nothing but confidence is oozing from him. "We'll see how long you survive against such a mighty stomach, hero! And I'll be able to put these Y.iga rejects to some actual use now. I'm sure they'll be more than pleased to know their lives were given in the efforts to destroy you!" Another belch belts out of him, sending a mask flying from his maw. The men down in his gut were still winded from L.ink's crusade through their hideout, so most of them can do little more than sit back and let their master's stomach process them all at once. K.ohga took no breaks in mocking and boasting to L.ink over the sounds of his churning guts. They slowly lose their form, all those bulges becoming softer and less defined until his gut is a massive, round beast. As it pumps sludge deeper through him, his body expands, growing thicker and heftier with the added weight of so much live prey. He was already a bit out of shape, but his new body would make the old him look like a model. His thighs press together now with all the added heft. His ass is stretching out his suit so much that each cheek is left well defined. His stomach goes from a mild beer gut to a heavy beer keg that hangs past his waist naturally. His arms get thicker and softer and his chest gains visible moobs. His mask even looks smaller now that his cheeks are starting to poke around the edge. K.ogha made sure his gut was pressed right over L.ink face until he noticed it had finished its processing. He gets back to his feet triumphantly and...he's still alive?! L.ink is breathing heavily now that K.ohga's stomach has been moved off of him and he's sweating from the heat but he's undoubtedly alive. "Oh, so you think you think you're sooo strong, huh? I'll show you!" His stomach lets out a low, deep groan. "...a-after a bathroom break." He looks around before going over to the deep pit in the center of the arena. Once he drops off these rejects, he'll get some more. He'll do this as many times as it takes to defeat the hero!

"Are you...sure about this?" K.ass asks with a twinge of hesitation. The traveling minstrel is no stranger to a good, squirming meal. R.ito are natural predators, after all, and with how dangerous the lands are and how sparse civilization can be, he's quite used to guzzling down whatever unfortunate soul crosses his path during meal times. This was the first time he'd done so in such...excess, however, and for money. But that blond H.ylian that he's taken a liking to--enough of one not to devour him at least--had offered him quite the bundle of rupees for a simple task--eat the folks staying at the stable he was resting at. It was rather easy, even as his stomach got heavier and bigger, to snap up every last person hanging around. And now they're inside the tent, his blue stomach stretched wide over lots of squirming meals. But L.ink's next request is what's actually making him hesitate. The H.ylian just smiles and nods and, although still a little hesitant, K.ass fulfills his wishes. He grips the bottom of his gut in both large hands, grunting with the effort of lifting it up. He moves to stand right over L.ink and then lets it go. It slams down onto the H.ylian with a loud slosh, also knocking a rather wet belch out of the R.ito. All that movement seems to have upset the occupants because they're getting very noisy and squirming but it doesn't so much to upset the bird's stomach. Instead, he's still concerned over his companion. "Are you alright down there, H.ylian?" He tilts his head a bit, trying to see if any part of L.ink is still visible to him. He feels shifting under his stomach and hands pushing into his feathered gut. "Ah, good. I suppose it was silly to doubt you. Well, you just relax down there, and if you need any air, try to let me know." Maybe they should have figured out a signal for that first but...oh well. K.ass picks up his accordion from off the floor and begins to play it, humming to himself as the music mixes with the heavy sounds of his gut. Perhaps subconsciously, K.ass would occasionally lean forward on his stomach, making the noises come out louder while further pressing his stomach into L.ink. But overall he's lost in his music, his body busily breaking down all the people inside as he plays. His normally thick figure gets a lot thicker as all the chub from such a binge packs on, further thickening his large arms and adding some additional weight to his legs and ass. His face gets fuller and rounder and his belly becomes a beast of its own, hanging off of him as a great mass. His feathers only help make it even softer though, which L.ink got to experience once that chugging gut rounded out all those rough lumps. When K.ass finished playing, his stomach had quieted down, mostly finished with its heavy meal. L.ink is fast asleep when he moves his stomach and it's grown dark outside. "My, that late already? Well...I suppose we can stay here for the night." He sets his accordion aside again and rubs his stomach, feeling how easily it molds to the touch of his wing. "And I'll make sure you all have a final resting place as well. I'm sure there's a nice ditch for you all to rest in." He heads out of the tent, confident that no beasts will try to bother him tonight. Once he returns, he'll be able to get a good night's sleep with that H.ylian. And perhaps, when they meet again, he'll have another payment for another large meal.

[shotorozu]

hello !! I'd rlly like to request Monoma if that's alright! I've had a huge soft spot for him for a while now and I'd love to see more content of him ;v;

anyway! we all know that superiority complex of his is definitely hiding some insecurities, but I also feel like he'd be quite touchstarved too bc of his peers seldom physically interacting with him due to his quirk, yknow?

with that in mind, I'd love to see how he'd handle an s/o who has "physical touch" as their main love language. they can give verbal praise/comfort, but they always get so shy abt it that they prefer giving physical affection to show their love. and maybe combining that with "quality time" being their second love language, they love to just cuddle him or toy with his hands/hair during quiet moments uwu

if you wanna do multiple characters, I'd love to request Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki (separately) for the same idea, but if you'd rather do this with just Monoma then I'm okay with that !! no worries if you don't wanna do all four ♡

thank you if you do this request, and make sure to take care of yourself !! ��

physically affectionate s/o

character(s) : monoma neito, shinsou hitoshi, midoriya izuku (i cut out tamaki for this one, sorry :[ but i’ll do another part if anyone wants it)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk but the details aren’t specific, reader is a part of 1-A

headcanon type : fluff (and if you squint, then crack)

note(s) : yes i do agree :,) monoma should be getting a little bit more content, and i’m sorry that this came out so late! i was multitasking with other requests (because i took a 2 day absence,,) but this doesn’t mean i don’t read people’s requests

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monoma neito

monoma 🤝 bakugou “the pros at sending mixed signals”

if there’s one thing he’s known for— then it’s for the persistent teasing, and his quite obnoxious attitude (especially at 1-A)

but he’s not a terrible person, he sure does have his reasons. and by now, people either choose to ignore him, or they simply knock the wind out of him

so, he was not prepared to encounter someone that was tolerant of him, AND also his type— like.. huh. that’s.. odd

and he was even more surprised when they accepted his wild love confession. there must be some catch to it, right?

so like i’ve said— monoma sends a lot of mixed signals. it’s either he’s complimenting your existence, or teasing you in various ways.

so— it’s just another normal day of monoma mouthing off to you, teasing you in a playful way, while you guys are hanging out this is way of making you remember him

but then, you just.. leaned forward and placed your hand on his head— not exchanging any words at all.

monoma’s first reaction is (・・?) because what?? someone is touching him right now.. wait.. someone is touching him!

honestly really shook, and at a lost for words— because everyone has refrained from coming into any physical contact with him? what a surprise! what even is this?

after said incident, you decide to speak “you had something in your hair.” and for once, monoma is the one that’s sitting in silence

“R-REALLY, Y/N? DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO W-WORK ON ME OR SOMETHING?” he questions in his usual mocking tone, but his cheeks are accompanied in a flushed red

he’d only experience field day when he realized that touch was basically your love language, with quality time in the second lead

so whenever you guys are spending time together, you’d,, actually go closer to him! this has never happened before, let him be

he doesn’t really like the idea of getting his hair touched, so you usually choose to fiddle with his hands— sometimes observing his details, and other times you’ll be comparing hand sizes

he’ll ridicule you for being so touchy— but he’ll ask if he’s “that irresistable?” while also moving you closer to him. he loves it a lot, okay?

don’t let class 1-b see this, he will flex on them because when he starts getting annoying again, they’ll use you as blackmail.

“monoma, i swear— if you do that, we’ll tell Y/N-”

“HAHA— ok, i’m sorry.”

shinsou hitoshi

he probably has the most chill reaction out of the bunch

again— another person that has been antagonized because of their quirk. he’s been perceived as villanious ever since his middle school days

kids have been told to keep their distance away from him at a young age so.. you’d bet that he’d be really touch starved

he never had any serious experiences with dating, and he never had any real friends— that weren’t cautious of his quirk

that was until he met you, which he just assumed you were another highkey stuck up person in the hero course

but, you were basically the opposite, and you were a real pleasure to have around. one thing lead to another, and now you guys are dating

he thought it was really cute whenever you got too shy to just sit in silence during dates, or to even give out words of affirmations

but hitoshi was surprised at first when he felt you pull yourself closer to him— resting your head on his shoulder. the concept of someone wanting to be in his presence is still sinking in for him

lucky for you! shinsou knows how to adapt to situations quickly, immediately slinging an arm around your shoulder, as he listens to you talk

he’ll be surprised when you start touching his hair, because golly!! are you guys close

but do it more pls, he loves it a lot— it sometimes makes him really drowsy.

if you play with his hands omg, his heart will do somersaults. he’s lucky that he’s able to keep himself composed.

loves watching you choosing to cuddle him, after briefly giving up on trying to form coherent words of affirmations.

it’s something he brings up quite often, but not in a teasing manner!

sometimes he’ll pat the free spot beside him, basically begging you to come closer to him.

eventually, denki notices on how touchy he’ll get whenever you’re around— but hitoshi will just shrug it off

“it’s always been that way.” he simply says, but he’ll turn around with this big ass grin on his face 💀

he’s whipped for your touch. so please, do it more

midoriya izuku

he’s also touchstarved. actually, all of them are really touchstarved, and for different reasons 💀

well.. it’s not like he had a choice from the getgo. he was born quirkless, and that lead to him becoming an outcase— and also the victim of bullying i wanna hug him

and being told constantly that he won’t ever be enough, or he won’t ever be a hero— it’s obvious that he doesn’t have any dating experience

but he didn’t think he’d be dating anytime soon— especially since he was ‘just’ pinning over you. he was convinced it was going nowhere

until you confessed. he’s surprised that he didn’t pass out

ever since you guys started dating, he noticed that you’ve been a little timid— not in the way that you feel awkward, more like,, you wanted to say something

or do something, because when you guys were studying together, you just suddenly sat closer to him— and started counting his freckles

he short circuited for a second.

he was reduced to a stuttering, and blushy mess— and you just laughed, telling him “you should continue what you’re doing!” as you ran your other hand across his shoulders

that night, he was wide awake in his bed— recalling your gentle and loving touch, running his hands along the parts of his hair, that you’ve touched

he loves quality time, because while he does like to ramble a lot— he does enjoy spending time with you in silence, but it’s the touches that makes him flustered

despite him being quite shy to initiate any sort of touch, you— on the other hand, were shy with saying praises. so you coped with physical touch, and quality time

man, izuku never gets used to it. no matter how much he tries to— he’s just.. needy, touchstarved.

he doesn’t realize how lost he looks when you’re sitting beside him, and not touching his hair or hands for once. please feel free to do so

oh, and since we’re on the topic of hands— he’ll tear up if you start playing/fiddling with his hands, and especially when you start tracing his scars. it makes him feel so warm.

okay but,, please give him a heads up if you’re going to act touchy in public. he’ll start stammering and blushing hard you might have to put him in rice or smth

the dekusquad talks about that quite a lot, especially when they accidentally witnessed it in the common room (for the first time)

in short— he adores it. sometimes he’ll initiate it, by asking you if you want to sit beside him, to play with his hair. he’s so inlove

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likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works for audio readings without my permission :))