#don't bully me too hard if some details are off guys

[skepticalcatfrog]

Kerch, Ghezenism, and the Van Eck Family

The title pretty much sums it up. This is a rather extensive analysis, and to be honest with you all it is 2,500+ words. So get into this absolute beast at your own risk!

~~~

From my experience in this fandom, I've seen it discussed very frequently how important religion is in the Grishaverse. Not only is it very deeply developed, to the point where many of the different countries have unique beliefs - which I'm not sure is seen very often in newer literature - but the various religious systems are also deeply important to many major characters, such as Matthias and Inej. However, one aspect of Grishaverse religions that seems to be overlooked somewhat often is the Kerch religion of Ghezenism. This may just be me, but I have a lot of thoughts on it. A big reason for that is that Wylan is, and always has been, my favorite character, and the culture surrounding Ghezen is actually a very important part of his character for many reasons. When you look into it in the way that I have, you discover that there are a lot of peculiar aspects of Ghezenism that make it stand out, as well as many ties that it has to major aspects of the story.

Right away, one thing that makes Kerch religion different from the others is how deeply connected to the economy it is. So much so that a lot of aspects of the two subjects are one and the same. Given that Ketterdam is a city largely fueled by commerce, it makes sense that Ghezenism would heavily tie into Kerch culture as well. Symbols of Ghezen can be found in many places throughout the city, even beyond the Church of Barter. A very good example of this is Vellgeluk, the island where the Crows meet Van Eck expecting to get their reward from the Ice Court heist: “Smugglers called it Vellgeluk, “good luck,” because of the paintings still visible around the base of what would have been the obelisk tower: golden circles meant to represent coins, symbols of favor from Ghezen, the god of industry and commerce,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 44). This just goes to show how many people in Ketterdam, and the wider country of Kerch as well, put their faith in Ghezen. Vellgeluk is a chosen place for smugglers to do business, specifically because favors of Ghezen are still present there. 

Another interesting part of that passage is the fact that Ghezen is referred to as the god of industry and commerce. Kerch may have other gods, but as far as I can remember - and I may be wrong, but I don't think I am - we never hear about any of them. A similar situation can be found in Fjerda, where Djel is specifically the god of life, implying the existence of other gods. In Fjerda, it is very clear that Djel is mainly what they base their culture and belief system around. This makes perfect sense for a god of life, but isn't Ketterdam’s situation a bit more unusual? The most frequently discussed god, Ghezen, represents industry. We can assume Ghezen is the primary god within the Kerch religious system. Not to mention that their largest church is called the Church of Barter, barter obviously being a term that has much to do with economics. Ketterdam, if not the entire country of Kerch, seems to have no real concept of the separation of church and state. They quite literally hold auctions inside of the church; the auctioning of Kuwei is not a singular event.

The impacts of religion can also be seen in the culture and behavior of the people of Kerch, as seen in a brief section of Crooked Kingdom. “Kerch women—even the wealthy ones—didn’t bother with anything as frivolous as embroidery or needlepoint. Ghezen was better served by tasks that benefited the household,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). Obviously, things like this are much more typical of religion. But I would argue that even this holds traces of the same values expressed by the connection between Ghezenism and the economy. It is specifically mentioned here that Kerch women are encouraged to participate in tasks that will “benefit the household”. This displays one of the very prominent aspects of the Ghezenite religion, which is that one of the most important things a person can do is be productive, and create a prosperous life for themselves and their family.

In addition to direct ties between Ghezenism and the Kerch economy, occasionally the legal system is put into the mix as well. While considering what consequences his father might face after the events of the auction, Wylan reveals this piece of information: “Knowingly entering into a false contract for the purpose of subverting the market wasn’t just illegal, it was considered blasphemy, a blight on the works of Ghezen, and the penalties were harsh,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 41). Essentially what he means by this is that not only is tampering with the economy against the law, but it is also heavily frowned upon in a religious sense, and anyone who does so will face punishment from both sides. This is extremely unique, even within the Grishaverse. This single sentence also reveals another very interesting thing about Kerch society. The market, as it exists in Ketterdam, is believed to be a creation of god - it is referred to here as being a part of the “works of Ghezen”. That, more than anything, is concrete proof of just how interconnected the economy of Kerch is with its primary religion. This also means that committing a crime such as Van Eck did isn't simply illegal (which we can assume he has no issues with), it is also an act that goes against his own religion. But stop to consider for a moment: does he really have a problem with that either?

There are numerous examples throughout both books of Van Eck blatantly abusing the values of his own religion. On its own, the teachings of Ghezenism aren't inherently bad. After all, things such as tampering with the market for your own gain are actively discouraged using the threat of blasphemy, which I'd say is generally beneficial. The issue, however, arises when Van Eck in particular attempts to twist some of these values in order to justify his own actions. If there is one single quote from the duology that exemplifies this, it would be this one: “Ghezen shows his favor to those who are deserving, to those who build cities, not the rats who eat away at their foundations. He has blessed me and my dealings. You will perish, and I will prosper. That is Ghezen’s will,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck openly believes that, since he is a member of the upper class, he is somehow more deserving of a blessing. He is insistent that “Ghezen's will”, or what he interprets as what Ghezen wishes for him to do, is to trample others in order to further his own success. 

It doesn't matter to him who stands in his way, and it never will, because his goal is only to make himself more wealthy; he simply hides this behind a thin veil of piety. This motivation is especially clear when he is speaking to Inej while he is holding her captive. “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). He frames people less fortunate than him - in this case Kaz and Inej - as forgettable and unimportant. The only thing he considers truly important is wealth, which he equates to power. He even references Ghezen here, claiming again that all of his actions, as well as his empire and legacy, are meant to show his dedication to his religion. He also claims that his ability to attain this level of success is a sign that Ghezen favors him. That in particular is a display of his extremely warped view of Ghezenism. The truth is that his success can only be attributed to his unethical actions, but the fact that he claims it is due to Ghezen's favor means that he will never be able to be convinced that he is wrong. He has what he believes to be an airtight justification.

His classism is also extremely evident, while indirectly, in an exchange between Kaz and Wylan earlier on in Crooked Kingdom. ““Your father much for charity?” “No. He tithes to Ghezen, but he says charity robs men of the chance at honest labor,”” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 2). This shows that Van Eck is very protective over his wealth. Which, quite frankly, is more likely than not the exact opposite of what Ghezenism is intended to promote. Based on what we are shown from an outside perspective, it seems as though one of the main aspects of Ghezenism is to create a prosperous economy for everyone. However, what Van Eck seems to believe is that he is intended to simply accumulate as much wealth as he possibly can, and keep it all for himself.

It is incredibly clear that Van Eck doesn't care about the well-being of anyone other than himself when it comes down to it. It could be argued that he cares for Alys, and will care for their child when it is born, but this simply cannot be proven. Just look at the exact mirror of this situation: Marya and Wylan. Wylan states about his parents, “I think he really loved her. They fought all the time, sometimes about me, but I remember them laughing a lot together too,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 14). If we are to believe that this is true, and Van Eck truly did love Marya, that doesn't change the fact that he didn't hesitate to send her away as soon as he discovered that Wylan couldn't read or write. There is no evidence to say that he wouldn't do the same to Alys, under similar circumstances. 

And, of course, this all leads back to the matter of Wylan. When Van Eck decided that Wylan wouldn't be useful to him, he stopped caring about him very quickly. Near the end of Six of Crows, we hear more of the specifics on Van Eck's opinion of Wylan. “I have hired the best tutors from every corner of the world. I’ve tried specialists, tonics, beatings, hypnotism. But he refused to be taught. I finally had to accept that Ghezen saw fit to curse me with a moron for a child. Wylan is a boy who will never grow to be a man. He is a disgrace to my house,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). Van Eck believes that Wylan is a curse from Ghezen, purely because he thinks that Wylan will be incapable of producing profits for their business. This is perhaps one of the most egregious examples of his blatant abuse of his own religion, because he is entirely willing to abandon and even murder his own son in order to fulfill his goals, which he claims is all Ghezen's will.

There is no feasible way Wylan would be able to grow up being raised by Van Eck, and not be affected by his religious ideas in some way. In fact, there is evidence contained in the text that proves this rather thoroughly. There are even certain things that have already been cited within this analysis that can be circled back to, such as the quote just above. This quote exemplifies the sort of treatment Wylan was subjected to while growing up. This is mostly speculation, but it's safe to assume he was told at a very young age that his own father considered him a punishment from god. That is objectively terrible, and we know that by the age of eight his father was his only parent. The psychological impacts that that would have on a child that young are unimaginable. 

Additionally, we can return to this quote from Crooked Kingdom: “When I leave this world, the greatest shipping empire ever known will remain, an engine of wealth, a tribute to Ghezen and a sign of his favor. Who will remember a girl like you, Miss Ghafa? What will you and Kaz Brekker leave behind but corpses to be burned on the Reaper’s Barge?” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 7). While Van Eck is not talking to Wylan here, and Wylan isn't even present at the time, this passage still indirectly displays Van Eck's feelings about Wylan. Here he is expressing the fact that he maintains that if a person is not able to create wealth and prosperity for themselves, they are essentially useless. As we know from the previous example, he believes this of Wylan as well.

It is evident that Wylan was taught Ghezenite values from a young age. While examining the exterior of the Church of Barter, his thoughts include this: “He didn’t need to be able to read the words engraved over the arch. He’d heard his father repeat them countless times. Enjent, Voorhent, Almhent. Industry, Integrity, Prosperity,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). This is confirmation that Van Eck frequently encouraged Wylan to think about these values, and it can be inferred that it likely wasn't in a particularly positive manner. Industry, integrity, and prosperity are clearly the three main ideals of this religion, and we can easily be led to the conclusion that Van Eck is certain his son is capable of none of them.

It is also suggested that Wylan may even associate his father's disapproval with religion subconsciously as well. A good example of this is in Crooked Kingdom, after Wylan is taken to the Church of Barter. “Van Eck shook his head. “Every time I think you cannot disappoint me further, you prove me wrong.” They were in a small chapel topped by a dome. The oil paintings on the wall featured battle scenes and piles of armaments,” (Crooked Kingdom, Chapter 31). While this is also simply meant to provide the reader with a description of the environment, the juxtaposition between the two halves of this passage cannot be an accident. What we can observe here is that after Van Eck once again expresses his ever-present disappointment with Wylan, emphasis is immediately put on the fact that they are in the church. This, along with the other passages listed, creates a clear link between Wylan's negative relationship with his father and the effects that their shared religion has had on it.

What I consider to be one of the most important quotes for this subject, despite also being the shortest one used, comes near the end of Six of Crows. After Wylan has played his role in foiling Van Eck's plan to trick the Crows, he says this: “Maybe you can pray to Ghezen for understanding, Father,” (Six of Crows, Chapter 45). This is sort of the first act of retribution that the reader sees from Wylan. He has just made his father look like a fool, and then he practically spits in his face by taking the thing that was used against him for so long - their religion - and using it against his father instead. Not only is this moment incredibly satisfying, it also marks the beginning of Wylan's growth as a character that eventually leads to him being able to stand up to his father in more ways.

Despite being arguably the least explored Grishaverse religion in online spaces, I find Ghezenism to be extremely interesting when it comes to the ways it ties into the themes of the story. It represents wider, more general themes found throughout the book, such as the idea that people often value their own success over the well-being of others, but it contains even more when examined under a closer lens. It opens the door to a completely new aspect of further analyzing the relationship between Wylan and his father, and introduces vital elements of in-depth characterization for both of them. The way Wylan and Van Eck each view the same religion is highly indicative of their individual values, and that is a very interesting thing to expand upon. It simply goes to show just how much thought went into creating both the culture of this world, and the characters who live within it.

[henrysglock]

[Lumax voice] Turn Around, Look At What You See! In Their Face...

(If you couldn't already tell: I have finally lost all my marbles.)

I'm sure this has occurred to other people by now, but if El's memories leading up to the 4.07 monologue are ripped directly from Brenner's (<- slayful Nat post, required viewing), and she runs in to see One killing Two...then doesn't it stand to reason that that is what Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room in 1979?

Now before anyone hops in to correct me: There's definitely a version of things where Brenner finds El alone in the rainbow room after the massacre. That's not in question. We all know that happened at some point.

(Regardless of the manner of death...no broken bones or gouged eyes...okay!)

However, as I'm sure we're all aware...these guys are different guys.

(This detail has been beaten into the ground but always bears repeating)

So, what is in question is what close-up Brenner saw when he ran into the Rainbow Room.

Those duplicate memories appear to belong to close-up Brenner:

i.e. not the Brenner who runs in and sees El at the start of 4.08. (This isn't to say that that Brenner doesn't have those memories or similar ones, but he's not the Brenner whose memories are being featured. Begone, thot.)

So, arguably, if El has close-up Brenner's memories...then she should be running in and seeing what he saw, no?

So what did he see? Someone just slightly shorter than him, who walked close enough to warrant a tight shot.

That POV (as has been discussed ad nauseam by many) is far too tall to be any version of El:

But it is about the right height for someone a few inches shorter than Brenner...something like:

So, tl;dr: I want to play a clip for you.

I love choreography and camera work. That's art right there.

However, that video doesn't include the subtitling that accompanies the visuals that link El finding One to Brenner finding El:

Now, it's difficult to compare anything after this point (though not impossible, can't keep a south Wisconsin boy down. I will be using them for comparisons later)...because of course that's when weird, random blood starts appearing:

Hence, the clock is visibly frozen after that point:

This smacks, to me, of the same kind of shit that happened with 004 when the kids were bullying El—Scenes that never actually happened in the real past being spliced into a tape that cuts off and then picks back up like no time had passed/nothing had been spliced in. It makes more sense if you read the post I linked, since the video in that post makes my point clearly.

< TANGENTIALLY RELATED >

The anime nerd in me is tempted to liken this whole deal ^ to JJBA/DIO's time-stopping stand "The World" in...that's right...Stardust Crusaders, wherein DIO pause time for everyone but himself, which I'm certain others have done as well.

Tbqh...I'm still here:

Specifically a reference to The World/DIO vs Star Platium/Jotaro, both of which are time-stopping stands...(Much to think about irt Jotaro/Star Platinum developing time-stopping powers later on in terms of El, sure, but also in terms of "Everything was hard for [One]...He walked in here, and it was like something had changed. He told me he had figured it out.").

[Distant screaming as I'm forcefully prevented from going on a "Stardust Spider-Stardust Crusaders-Dio Brando-Joestar Family-Dio's Bone-Green Baby-Green, Green Grass of Home" tangent in this post...and don't get me started on DIO's regen healing/vampirism from the ancient stone mask...don't get me started on King Crimson and Golden Experience Requiem either...]

Not to mention the DIO reference with One linking this scene to (you guessed it) Edward Munson:

Edward Creel proven once again, but this time it's via goddamn JJBA and Brenner fuckery. (And yes, yes, I know about DIO the band. This ain't about her. Things can have multiple meanings. It was a Choice to associate Henward with DIO and Eddie with DIO. I rest my case.)

< ANYWAY, TANGENTS ASIDE >

As I said earlier, close-up Brenner is shot at a distance baby El could never have achieved. She passes out on the far side of the room, entirely too far away to have been anywhere near close enough for a close-up of Brenner's face, height aside.

However, ignoring the blood fuckery and disappearing gate cracks:

Some-One else has enough energy left to walk towards the doors. All the way over, in fact. So while those close-up shots are 100% out of range for post-gate baby El, they're very much in-range for 3:46 PM One.

Tl;dr: It's entirely possible, if not likely (based on the choreography and camera-work in these scenes) that close-up/angry Brenner was addressing One rather than baby El.

[cherrytastiq]

Time Squad Character Analysis #1: Buck Tuddrussel

Hi guys ^_^ I've been wanting to do a genuine, in-depth analysis on the TS main trio for a while, based on what we're told / shown canonically or by the writers. And since Tuddrussel is the face of the Time Squad, I felt it was only fitting to start by analyzing him.

Backstory

Although we never get any deep insight into Buck's backstory, the show sprinkled a few hints here and there that allow us to have a pretty darn good idea of what his life was before Otto and the Time Squad.

The first time Buck mentions anything about his past is in Freud, where he goes on a small ramble about his time at "The Academy".

While we don't know what this Academy is exactly, it's safe to assume that it sounds like some sort of school for wannabe Time Squad cops, training them in combat and whatnot. It also seems to feature some sort of mental health faculty / therapy evaluations. These sessions were possibly forced, too, because Buck's not the type to go to therapy on his own will.

The therapy guys absolutely hit the nail on the head, though. Buck has a lot of trouble managing his anger; he has a very short fuse and tends to choose violence as his first option when going on missions, causing more harm than good to everyone involved. Of course, Buck ignores all of this and reduces it to "junk" and "head-shrinkin' mumbo jumbo". Speaking of Freud, I couldn't forget his psychoanalysis at the end of the episode!

Freud describes Buck as having an "overactive superego, which causes [Bucks] to force [his] will on those around [him]". My knowledge on Freudian psychology isn't great, but, I mean, do you really think the writers took their time to properly research it either? Skimming through a few websites (I am NOT studying Freudian psychology for a 2000s Cartoon Network show), the superego is in charge of making us act "civil" based on what our parental figures teach us in early childhood. Therefore, according to the show, to have an overactive superego means to have a strict set of rules and behaviors perceived as "wrong" that the superego wants to achieve, to a point that it expects everyone to follow said rules. Very fitting for a cop! Though the rules he follows aren't the ones society expects.

Buck's time at The Academy is explored further in Out with the In Crowd and Feud for Thought, both episodes telling us one key detail:

Larry's fatphobia aside, we learn that Buck was overweight back then, and even went to fat camp. Feud also tells us he was in chemistry club, meaning Buck isn't all brawn with no brain.

I'm 99% sure the "glandular thing" is just an excuse Buck makes to "explain" why he was fat back in The Academy. We see multiple times in the show that he's obsessed with working out and staying in shape, although his eating habits aren't particularly healthy. This tells me he was probably laughed at for his weight, and quickly began working out to stop the constant bullying. His reactions in both episodes to comments on his weight (embarrassment in In Crowd and straight up cowering in fear in Feud) tell me that, while Buck likes painting himself as a tough guy with no fears, he is horrified of the past and being seen as a wimp.

We get more insight on Buck's past, and specifically his childhood, almost immediately after Freud. One episode later, in Big Al, he reminisces about his life back on Earth:

Tuddrussel is clearly proud of his Texan / Cowboy heritage (something I'm sure Larry is veery fond of... More on that in his analysis) and absolutely adores guns. He was taught how to handle them from a very young age (around 7 or 8) and seems to be continuing a long heritage of policemen.

(Not pictured: Buck's gun magazines in Larry Upgrade, his reaction to Larry doing a "few alterations" to his Demonitor (?) 800... the list goes on)

A bit off the canon record, but co-writer Carlos Ramos once said he imagines Buck's dad to have been a "hard ass".

It's only fitting for his personality, after all. Speaking of fathers...

Tudd as a Father Figure ....of our country(EXTREMELY LOUD WRONG BUZZER)

Buck is damn proud to be what is basically an adoptive dad. In Father Figure, we see him get furious at George "I'm a better father to Otto than you will ever be" Washington, even flaunting his victory when Otto chooses him over the guy.

Tuddrussel's relationship with Otto is weird. He is as much of a parental figure as he is a prankster, an immature sibling. Sometimes he teaches Otto things like riding a bike and fishing (although in non-productive ways... I wonder what that says about his own upbringing?), and other times he's a sore loser at video games and is generally a bad example for a developing kid. In many ways, Otto ends up having to teach him, using flashcards and infodumping history lessons.

There is another analysis that goes more in-depth into this, though, in my opinion, ends up theorizing a lot of things we never see nor are implied, but I recommend you read it here. What it does get absolutely right is that Buck is a deeply complex character, afraid to fully commit to being a parental figure and instead retreating to childish actions. Just like Sheila explains in Ex, "[H]e's a man totally at the mercy of his own fragile male ego, who hasn't progressed emotionally or intellectually since early childhood!"

Buck and Sheila

As we learn in Kubla, Buck and Sheila got a divorce an unknown amount of time ago, and while Sheila holds no resentment, Buck seems bothered by their separation. When Otto tries bringing up the topic at the end of the episode, Buck immediately shuts him down.

Buck gets upset when learning Sheila took back her maiden name, even calling Sheila "hun". It's clear that Tuddrussel is very much hung up on their divorce and somewhat misses Sheila, although he's mortified of the idea of remarrying, as shown in First Flight when Amelia Earhart suggests the idea of wedding him.

A bit later, in Peace Surprise and Ex, Buck and Sheila start getting along more as friends who have fun together, while understanding that they could never work as a couple.

Toxic Masculinity

It's clear that Buck suffers from a lot of toxic masculinity. He refuses to engage with anything mildly feminine (like the pink cake in Poe), he deems himself tough and strong, and no strong man needs therapy. In fact, he doesn't need any help with anything! He's not weak, he can't afford to show weakness, he's a brave man. This sort of thinking is what most likely caused his divorce with Sheila, a topic he doesn't like bringing up at all. What was that thing about repressing old memories?

Although... this shell ends up breaking a little in Hate and Let Hate when he tries out cooking and ends up really enjoying it. And not just any cooking, it's foo-foo cooking. As the show goes on, Buck starts learning that maybe it's okay to like girly stuff... Sometimes. Baby steps.

Buck and Larry

Oh boy. Larry and Buck's relationship is... something for sure.

First off, Buck absolutely despises Larry. He hates how feminine he is, how he's a coward, a wimp, a sissy. He semi-frequently threatens Larry with hurting him one way or another, and insults him like the manchild he is. But you know what other feeling Buck has for him? Fear. Tuddrussel is terrified of Cartoon Network's sassiest (excuse my french) gay-as-fuck robot, and hates him having any kind of power or agency over him. Once again there's already an analysis on this here, so check it out. All in all, Buck's fear translates to anger and violent tendencies.

As per any other kinds of feelings, it's hard to say. Buck sees Larry as a robot who's supposed to follow his orders, him being the officer of the Time Squad unit and all. Comparing his beliefs on robots as servants to Sheila and JT's beliefs of robots as partners, we can assume this sort of thinking is old-fashioned and doesn't really reflect how the futuristic world sees robot society. Buck can't stand Larry acting like a human person with feelings, aspirations and a complex set of emotions.

(Stealing screenshots from my old analysis TEEHEE)

In some part, he's right to be mad. Larry wasn't programmed in the subject of history and doesn't act the way other robots like XJ5 and Lance do, so he's not a great help when it comes to their job. Tudd at least tries to do his job, while Larry A.K.A. The Robot Able To Look Up Anything, is too stubborn to try.

But, despite everything, Larry is still his partner, his buddy. Buck may not show it too often, but deep down he cares for the guy.

Final Thoughts

Jesus Christ I didn't think I would write this much. And Tuddrussel's not even my favorite character!

I'd say Buck Tuddrussel is the character with the most growth in the entire show, and he really makes an effort towards being a better person. He may not be the brightest and it might take a while for him to learn his mistakes, but his determination to keep moving forward really goes to show how strong he is.

[elainsgirl]

"b-but azriel is a f-boy. he's jealous. he's possessive. he's entitled. he's icky.. he's... he's..."

Azriel is so misunderstood because of bonus chapter. "Gwyn can help him with his darkness" are you okay?? Azriel is not some broken person you guys make him out to be! We don't have enough of his pov to see how he is... that's just a glimpse of it.

It baffles me that Gwyn was dragged into these ship wars so she can "save azriel and help with his darkness and trauma" (im obviously talking about the weird ones who ship them together. I've met good gwyn and azriel shippers) ..... Gwyn is an amazing character, stop saying that weird stuff. Not to mention people romanticizing her getting saved by azriel- its annoying and disgusting!

Also Azriel getting shipped with everyone! Like bro, he's fine!

I ship Azriel with no one as of now. Sure him and Elain have moments but... its not enough for me to fully ship them yet. We need everyone's pov before we start making up these theories and gaslighting people so much! Everyone claims to say "Im thinking most of the people in this fandom is 12 year olds" nah, its all of you. Yall can't accept the fact that people have different preferences and opinions. Yall bully people off the internet because of fantasy book??? hello??? are we like, okay??? not to mention people act like this book is so unpredictable! baby, this is a normal fantasy book! nothing about this series is unpredictable at all!

Not to mention Acotar tiktok people have got to be one of the most sensitive people ever! Can't even make a funny video without someone having to debate in the comments. like please shut the hell up. so glad tiktok is getting banned, those insufferable people can get away.

The way Azriels character has been completely twisted by the fandom to suit their anti elri agenda is truly something. The way they potray Azriel as such a disgusting character with Elain but are ok shipping him and Gwyn - cause suddenly he then becomes the perfect male for her. This is why I just cannot understand anti logic - they’re constantly warping whatever they can to fit their ships or disprove elriel and if you have work that hard - taking scenes out of context, adding in your biased interpretations, lying about quotes - just to disprove elriel….says enough about the confidence they have in their ships.

I hate hate hate the fact they use Gwyn as the only one who can “heal” him or challenge him etc, its not Gwyns job to change a grown, 500 year old man. She deserves so much better then the way she’s being treated, dragged into a shipwar for having one innocent conversation- that too more focused on his powers then the man himself - with the opposite gender. I think if Gwyn had shown she felt some way towards Azriel such as having a crush on him or Nesta teasing her about all the supposed “alone” time Gwyn and Az were having in SF and she blushes or gets shy whatever - I would totally understand gwynriel more, and if that was what Mass wanted she never would have given us a descriptive scene on how bad down Az was for Elain - such a scene should have only been for Az and his final Li aka in this case Gwyn. We never got detail descriptions on how badly Cass wanted another woman when Nesta was introduced as early as acomaf. Most stans have really put Gwyns story and journey as a character to the sideline and instead focused on forcing her into a relationship with a man and romanticising that - it just feels icky to me personally.

Its some kind of joke that Az is being shipped with every other person aside from who he wants the most LMFAO.

Thats fine if you don’t want to ship Az with anyone and instead wait for the book, I think thats best to make sure you’re not disappointed by any outcome. Idk, some people do act so immature & childish within the fandom and I think its fair to call such behaviour out. I can accept people have different opinions and as much as they’re entitled to those I am equally entitled to judge or challenge their takes in my own space. As long as no one is saying or doing anything to affect someone beyond the screen - challenges and debates are normal within fandoms. Yh such as how many times certain people have scared off artists and have made others become inactive due to the harassment they’ve received- its all sides of the fandom. Heavy on nothing about acotar being unpredictable but I kind of like how each parallel, pattern and foreshadowing all comes together so nicely in a cute set of 3. Its clear where Mass is going with the storyline and I cannot wait to see it playout.

Welp TT was banned but now its back, so those people are here to stay.

[animentality]

Oh my GOD, the drama that's going on at my work...

So as some of you know, I've been getting bullied by my boss, let's call her Margaret because she's like Margaret Thatcher.

A Grade A bitch.

So Margaret will give me instructions that are wildly unclear, contradictory, or vague.

I'll give you an example.

We have a project that's basically comparing policy guidance from across different federal agencies with our own, so that we can incorporate their best language into our department's policy documents.

I wrote up a word document with policy analyses for all of our chosen examples.

Margaret said, I don't like this. I can't use it. I can't read it. Change it to Microsoft excel and make it like a checklist.

So I'm like alright, makes sense, my bad.

I do that.

She then complains that it's too much like a checklist and what she wanted was a detailed analysis that she could use.

Also that she can't read excel spreadsheets because there are..."too many words."

...

So. Yeah. Too many words, huh?

So I'm like...ok...but I already did that.

And she says, no you didn't, also I asked you to focus on finishing your analyses of all the departments, not to worry about the format. The format doesn't matter.

But here's the thing right.

The FORMAT MATTERS.

SHE LITERALLY TOLD ME TO CHANGE IT BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THE FORMAT MATTERS.

And she's starting to go off and she's beginning to yell at me here...in front of any entire team of people...and I just had to cut her off, because if I don't, she's just gonna rant at me for an hour and then hang up and neither of us will have what we want, ie, she won't have the product she's imagining (which doesn't exist apparently bc she contradicted her own wishes), and I won't have the guidance I need to make the product.

So I interrupt her and say I already did that. The analysis is done. Now it's just the format that matters.

Now, she's very angry about the interruption, because she CONTINUES to just bulldoze right over me and keep talking...

And my supervisor, let's call her Sarah, then explodes and says, "Let him talk! He's trying to explain to you what he did and you're not letting him defend himself!"

And audience.

Fellow countrymen...

I would kill for Sarah, I really would.

I was so happy to have someone speak up for me.

But anyway.

So we finish the meeting, although it's very icy and very angry.

And then Sarah calls me immediately.

And she says oh my god I'm so sorry about that, what was that BS?

And I'm like...I'm like so happy to have someone on my side that I just say thank you for standing up for me there.

And she goes into this wild ass, amazing rant and she DISHED, BOYS AND GALS AND NONBINARY PALS.

APPARENTLY, Margaret has bullied every single contractor she's EVER had.

The guy she keeps telling me to defer to?

She tried to FIRE HIS ASS like a month ago.

The guy she keeps saying is like a godsend because he's sooo helpful?

She tried to fire him in his first month.

She was also apparently so hated at her last office that she had to leave because she wasn't getting any respect. She's been shunted all over the department because no one can stand working with her.

She has such poor interpersonal skills and fails so hard at communicating that she literally has clashed with every single member of her team.

And she hates me because I'm harder to bully.

Because I know what the fuck I'm talking about and I don't let her beat me down with her backwards ass contradictory logic.

And here's the spicy drama...

Apparently when Sarah interrupted her earlier...she literally texted HER BOSS, let's call her Laura...to complain that Sarah and I are "working together" and "conspiring" against her.

because "Kai was contradicting himself and when I tried to call him out on it, he INTERRUPTED me and then Christine ENCOURAGED him to and I just thought you should know."

And I find that really fucking funny.

Because she complained to her boss...who immediately sent THAT SCREENSHOT TO THE SAME PERSON SHE WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT.

So YEAH Margaret. We ARE conspiring against you.

But you don't have any allies, as evidenced by the fact that complaining to your boss literally made her roll her eyes and say ah Margaret is at it again...to the same person that Margaret is bitching about.

Anyway.

Totally insane.

Sarah told me, you're very professional and reasonable and sweet, and honestly, I feel protective of you because you're the youngest member of the team and I know that working with Margaret might make you feel like you never want to work again...but you're honestly very good at your job and I won't let Margaret fire you...

And I was really floored by the show of loyalty...

I also laughed because she said, I don't mind taking the heat from Margaret. What's she gonna do, fire me? (She doesn't work for Margaret and is sort of lateral to her position anyway).

I'd like to see her try.

And anyway.

Anyway that was the beginning of my crazy day.

Honestly I'm just smiling.

I've never had a supervisor stick up for me as much as Sarah and I'd love to keep working for her...it's just a shame if she can't keep me from being fired by the madwoman that leads our team.

I hope she'll let me know if Margaret decides to fire me because I dared using Microsoft excel in her presence again...

I'm so sorry that when you work for the government, you sometimes have to read things...

So sorry. But what do you want me to do about it?

Why hire a writer if you're scared of reading?

[the-missann]

I've never had the chance to share this so ig I'll do it here.

So, I have a speech impediment. Yay.

Specifically a stutter and I've suffered bullying centered around my stuttering for years on end. (For some reason it was always by girls. Guys used to think my stutter was cute for some reason it's not btw).

My sutter is the prolongation of words and the block

I.e How areeeee you and I'm fin____

I wanted to share this for anyone else who's living with a stutter. I've noticed a few things.

I actually only stutter on vowels (lovely that every word has a vowel in it huh?)

I pretty much stop breathing when I talk (it's like my brain can only focus on one thing at a time)

Reading does not increase or decrease my stuttering.

I sometimes add extra words or pronounce words differently to avoid stuttering.

My stutter decreases dramatically when speaking to people who don't cut me off.

Now, I'll go through and explain them to help anyone who may have similar issues.

For 1, I noticed around four years ago that I actually only stutter on words that have a vowel sound. I sat down with myself and talked for a bit and found that every word I stuttered on, it was at the vowel sound.

Shockingly, even words that begin with a vowel sound I stutter over, I'll give details on that later.

So, the best way I've learn to handle this is to stop when I know a word has a vowel and I stutter on that word, so I'll say something like:

Everything is all ready done.

Separating them into two words seems to prevent me from stuttering.

2 might also just be my anxiety, but for the sake of this post, let's say it's not. I noticed I'm usually out of breath when I talk. I do talk fast, but I mean like I just ran a marathon out of breath from just saying a simple sentense.

The best way I can describe it is like when you're singing a song. You try and sing the full line as the singer does, but most of us haven't trained our lungs so we end up breathless by the end of it.

I still do this, but it's gotten better as I've learned to breathe from my diaphragm when I talk instead of my chest.

3 I'm really saying for anyone trying to help someone with a stutter. This does not help someone to calm their stutter. As a kid, my parents sat me down and assumed if I read aloud I would learn not to stutter, but it makes no difference.

My advice is to just be patient. That person knows they stutter, let them take their time and they'll eventually get out what they need to say. You're in no rush to hear what they say, so just let tham go at their own pace.

One last thing about this. DO NOT try and finish a sentence for them. It's bad enough we have a stutter, but if someone tries to fill in the sentence for us, our self esteem goes 📉📉.

For 4 (lol) this is a thing I developed and it works pretty well. This is the detail I was going to get into. So, sometimes I stutter over the word it, no Pennywise.

So, to stop that from happening since it is used a lot, I started saying "I T is like." Now, I don't say that in public, but I do with my family and the word is simple enough that no one is thinking too hard on what I spelled out.

But this is why I usually don't refer to things by their proper name (so if anyone here ever becomes my real friend, please know I'm not saying things wrong, I'll just stutter otherwise).

Lastly, 5. I would assume this is the same for everyone regardless if they have a stutter or not. When someone is cutting you off, it makes you rush your words, cut your words off, and stutter. So it gets worse for someone with a stutter.

I have very rarely encountered people who didn't try and cut me off because I paused to take a breath or held out a word. It's true that the anticipation of someone cutting you off sometimes makes you stutter.

I have my stutter under control a lot now, but it did take me a while to get to this point. So, for anyone out there who has a stutter, try and find out what makes your stutter tick and go from there to find ways around it.

This has been a PSA about stuttering, thank you for reading 🍂

Sorry, but last thing, since I'm a writwblr, I wanted to add how to properly write a character with a stutter.

We know t-the (repeating sound) stutter is a real one, but it's normally used for someone who's simply nervous. Someone who actually stutters would stutter at any point in time and sometimes in different ways (eg me having two versions of a stutter).

Also, know where your character's stutter comes from. Mines happens to be hereditary and environmental as I frequently get cut off and thus rush my words to get them out faster. It's also just kind of the way I am since I'm very fast paced and have a hard time "taking things slow"

It's also good to detail a tick or habit your stuttering character may have, like they stop talking and shake their head when pausing their stutter.

Oh, and it's true, cursing eliminates stuttering. There needs to be some testing done on that.

[valkerymillenia]

Finally had the appointment with the psychiatric specialist. Had to get up at 6am and go to a whole other city but I got it.

He was a guy (not the actual doctor I was supposed to see because she's on medical sabbatical). And he was nice but I am awkward with strangers and there were some things... Look, I just hate medical gender bias and there was a little here.

But most of all, there was... Some ableism?

Don't get me wrong, he was good and proper and did his job, he was also nice (and very young), but I was there for an ADHD and autism screening so I could have an official documented diagnosis and, well, there was quite a bit of gender bias about these disorders... And a significant amount of unconscious ableism too.

I'm already being treated for these things but my current doctors (psychiatrist, psychologist, and GP) don't have expertise in this area because these disorders aren't usually diagnosed in adulthood and that is their field, and this guy is the "expert" so we need his stamp on the matter just to dot the i's.

Turns out we didn't have enough time for all the tests because someone messed up and scheduled this as a follow-up appointment instead of an assessment but we made do. Here's my problem though: he only wanted to focus on the ADHD.

Also, he ignored a lot of details I was trying to put on the table but I might be reading too much into this.

According to him, yes, I definitely have ADHD and it's good that I'm already testing the medication for it but he wants to see what else he can do and if he can fix the side effects, but we didn't really have enough time for a full evaluation so he sent me home with a bunch of written tests to take so he can check them next month and have a more concise idea of my issues.

He also cut some of the older medication I had that is now obsolete with the new stuff.

I'm fine with all that. Grateful even.

But I wanted to talk about the autism diagnosis, I've been trying to approach this with doctors for years, I've desperate to be heard ever since I learned just how strongly the symptoms applied to me every since I was born, I'm been desperate ever since I discovered the gender bias in diagnosing females, I did so much research and talked to other autistic people and associations that gave emotional support, but the doctors keep brushing it off, not because they don't agree but because they literally don't want to talk about autism in general, they don't even wasn't to explain why they don't want to talk about it, the stigma is just too big.

Eventually, this is what this doc said:

"Look, autism is a spectrum and all so it's complicated. You definitely have serious autistic traits for sure but I don't think we should test you for it, there's no point because you're an adult and you've already learned coping mechanisms and masking the hard way, you struggled a lot but you're here, there's really not much else we can do help with and not much treatment we can give for this so why saddle you with a bad label?"

Like, it's so ableist. He totally missed the point? I told him I don't really care about what treatment they can give me, I just want confirmation because:

1. there's safety in labels, much more comforting to know I'm normal zebra and not a failed horse,

2. having the diagnosis gives me access to more information and a better ability to find good coping mechanisms and helpful tools for my daily life,

3. having the diagnosis allows me to find community and get mutual help and support without judgement,

4. having an official diagnosis helps me get certain amenities (or at least understanding) to make my life easier, be it with work or family life, even with social security or at certain events,

5. and finally, just because I survived my childhood without a label and found a way to blend in with neurotypicals doesn't mean that's a good thing (I was horribly bullied and abused for a reason), it doesn't mean that I'm currently happy pretending to be what society expects, doesn't mean it's not fucking exhausting, doesn't mean I don't deserve validation for my struggles.

But noooo, his whole focus was on "we can't medicate to FIX it so why bother" and on "what people would think of you if you had that label".

Bitch, I don't care about either of those, I don't care what people think of me, I care what I think of me, and autistic is not a slur, contrary to what people in this country seem to think! I just want to understand myself and my own struggles, and whenever I get harassed for being different I want to be able to defend myself with this knowledge.

For fucks sake, just test me and show some support!

I stg the doctors in this country are so scared of the word "autism", it's insulting.

[oc-aita]

AITA? (Sorry in advance that this is long)

My (?14) best friend H (M15) and I had been friends for 3 years now, but we'd gone to different schools the whole time. He didn't know my classmates, family, or other friends, and I counted that as a blessing.

I'm your stereotypical 'mean girl' type at school. Or at least, I'm friends with those girls. I'm mostly just complacent in their bullying. But I've allowed, ignored, and excused all kinds of shit ever since we were little. Mostly they're just badmouthing kids, but there's other aspects, too. I won't go into too many details, but if you know anything about the social hell that is bullying, you can guess a sample of the stuff that happens. I will say in my defense personally that at least I don't let them be particularly awful? Like, yeah, we're unkind, screwed up people to the kids my friends deemed as 'targets', but the particularly vile shit my friends try to say to them always gets my explicit condemnation.

I don't like being mean, I consider myself a nice person internally, but I'm actually stuck with my friend group. I have a controlling dad who wants me to act a certain way and hang with certain people, and even my friendship with H is highly secretive and behind his back, despite his flawless reputation and general fitting-the-bill of a guy my dad might allow me around. I've only ever expressed once that my friends are kinda mean (understatement, I know), and my dad freaked out at me. In short, I'm not allowed to not be friends with them. I'm not even allowed to be nice to their targets against their will.

I told H that once I entered his high school (he's a grade ahead of me) that he was going to think differently of me once he met my friends, but he brushed me off, saying he knew what kind of person I was and that nothing could be that bad. I tried to argue, but he assured me otherwise and dropped the subject. But due to a long series of contrivances, myself, H, and two of the kids my friends target most often, who will be known as R (F15) and C (M15) from here on, have been working together on what's effectively a series of projects, and will be for a while. R is our team leader, and C is her right hand man. They both fucking hate me, and I don't blame them at all.

R's pretty non-confrontational, and tries her best to keep everyone civil. She doesn't like me in the slightest, but doesn't want to have the team dogpile me for it, because she's really just too nice for her own good. We communicate as we have to, and that's that. C, however, makes it very clear to everyone that he never intends to forgive me or act as if I've been anything but awful to him - even though I haven't said pretty much anything personally, I'm sort of the de facto face of my friendgroup, which is more than bad enough. I won't act like he's even a little unjust for it, and honestly I deserve every word and more for never standing up for him, R, and everyone else.

At first H just assumed he was just holding some meaningless grudge and assumed C was a spiteful, shallow person, but after enough time I told H that he really should talk to C about why he dislikes me so much. For a while I didn't hear anything about the topic, but a couple days ago H called me, pissed off. He explained that C had told him all the things I'd overseen my friends do and say to him, as well as listed every instance of my direct interactions with him and R. To my surprise, I also learned of the things my friends had done when I wasn't there - and I was appalled. They were even worse when I wasn't around. They were vitriolic, cruel, and even took physical actions against them. To make a long story short, they once even broke something of C's that was really, really important knowing it would be hard to replace as well as expensive for his low-income family. I did my best to explain that I never would have approved of such a thing, as well as why I'm around those kinds of people at all, but H said that I was just making excuses and that, clearly, since I was friends with him, my dad can't control me as much as I act like. I wanted to point out that my dad knows my friends' parents and stuff like that, but he wouldn't let me, and I'm honestly not sure he's wrong about that anymore. Maybe I just assumed I was as powerless against my dad as I'd felt? I can't say. Either way, he told me my behavior was deplorable regardless of my explicit actions, and that he didn't feel like he could talk to me anymore for the time being outside of project work.

Am I the asshole for how I handled the situation? I know how R and C were treated is fundamentally wrong, but is there anything better I could have done?

[alyszaen]

Venting about some things I need to process TW: mentions of self-harm, relapse, mental health, sexual assault and death-threats

I feel like I need to get this off my chest in detail. I'll never process it if I don't.

Ce was my friend. She was my best friend. She was the girl I trusted with everything. She knew all my deep and dark secrets. This was primary school. When my bully started telling me I was ugly and worthless, she was there for me. Except she told An about it behind my back. She laughed about me behind my back. Ce, you were my best friend, but I was never yours.

Al was my friend. She was there with me when my bully threattened to kill me. She went to the self defense class with me, so I wouldn't need to be alone. We had a dynamic, no matter how much we fought you were there. But when you failed the classes you switched schools and never reached out again. I missed you.

Me was my friend. She was not in my class, but in the same year. We were the best little group, with her classmates in there. But whenever they hung out they didn't invite me. I wanted to be close to them, but they never let me into the last border. You didn't want me.

Em was my friend. She was her own kind of disturbed, but we vibed so well. She promised me I could get drunk this time and she'd protect me. Yet when he touched me she dismissed me and said "It's cool he does this." If I hadn't yelled at him and made him drive home drunk I would have been raped that night. You broke your promise. You would have let him. You made me self-harm.

Si was my friend. He was the person I told about everything. He was my trusted person when all the others left me. He knew my triggers. He knew I couldn't handle rape-jokes yet made them a lot. When Le joined the group and kept mistreating me and I told Si about it, he told everyone about how much of a "pussy" I was being. You lied to me.

Al was my friend. He was the one that told me what Si was doing. He was the one that picked me back up when I fell. We watched shows together daily, healing together. I was the first person you told about your date. I cheered you on the loudest. When she asked you to distance yourself you did it without question. You left me alone, after you knew how hard it was for me to trust anyone. You chose to ignore me and treat me like I didn't exist, after everything you knew. You made me relapse.

Ja was my friend. She was easier to trust because she was online. She was mute and never turned on her camera, but our messages meant so much. I felt like I was finally being understood. Until it turned out that she lied about getting into accidents. She was a pathological liar. She was a guy acting like a girl to get close to me. You made me incapable of trusting people that don't turn on their audio.

Di was my friend. He was a trusted person. It took me a year to open up to him. And when I finally fully did I felt safe. He was there for me through every hardship that followed. He was the one that actually got me to finally get diagnosed and medicated. But he started to make rape-jokes. And when I distanced myself to not get hurt again, he got mad. He spread rumors. He attempted to have me murdered. He told our friends he'd like to rape my dead body. You broke the last trust I had in anyone.

I can't trust anyone. You can say you are not going to leave me as often as you want, I'll never be able to believe you. I still give a general trust so easily. I still get attached so easily. But I'll never be able to give you that last bit of trust. I'll always be stuck on 80%. Too many people I trusted betrayed me. Too many people I thought had my back were the ones stabbing it. I try to be kind. I try to make everyone feel welcome. I try to be there for anyone who needs it. I try to be the shoulder to lean on. Because I don't want this to happen to anyone else. My heart aches at the thought that someone would be betrayed so often that they can't trust anymore.

8 friends. 8 BEST friends. 8 people I would have trusted with my life. 8 people that hurt me beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

[curejiraiya]

Episode 1 of Knick's somewhat nightly OC lore, today's OC is my boy Derrin!

I don't remember his last name, you'll find that a lot of my OC details I either can't remember or have placeholder names that have been placeholders for 10+ years. I don't really need to give them real names unless I was to make some official work or something, so I don't.

Anyway, Derrin is 26, his birthday is June 21st. He's been married to his husband Jay (they took Derrin's last name) for 5 years. Derrin is grayace or somewhere on the ace spectrum I haven't thought too hard about labels because Derrin is the kind of guy who wouldn't want a precise label. He's approximately 5'5 which makes him pretty short, but probably the median height of FIF members.

FIF is the band my OCs are all either in or have their life revolve around. It stands for Funeral in Flames. I made up this band name when I was 12 years old don't laugh. Nowadays I pretty much always call them FIF pronounced like the beginning of Fifth. (This is a lie I called them funeral in flames maybe 5 times while writing this and had to go back and fix it while I'm spell checking, but I cringe at their name. Maybe I'll tell you what it's from someday)

His hair is dark reddish brown and straight, and he keeps it short but not buzzed. He dresses the most formally of all my OCs, think like sweater vests and button downs at all time. Derrin is the only member of FIF to actually finish college, but it took him like 7 years on and off. He has a law degree that he only got this past January, and he finally took the BAR over the summer. (I don't know how law degrees work but however they work assume he did those things.)

Derrin is a first generation American to two Filipino parents. Both his parents died when he was 10 in a car accident and he became an orphan, because all good OCs deserve a tragic backstory. Because of this he regrets not knowing much about his parents culture, despite his parents both speaking Tagalog they did not teach him. They distanced him from their culture so he wouldn't be bullied growing up in America, and he regrets not asking them to teach him about their past because now he just doesn't know.

Derrin got his law degree to help out a charity he helped found that helps first generation American orphans. He started it when he was only 19. It's not only him though and at this point he's more of a speaker and a figurehead then an active worker, but he didn't know that's how it was gonna be when he started his degree like 7 years ago.

Because all my characters need a huge character flaw, his biggest flaw is his multi year battle with alcoholism. He was introduced to drinking at a concert when he was just 15 and unlike the rest of his friends he quickly developed a bad relationship with alcohol and drugs in general. Just recently like within the past month he returned from the third rehab stay of his life, and though he thinks he's finally clean; for the sake of me continuing his story he's probably not. Sorry man.

Derrin also writes a lot of poetry in his free time, one of two FIF members to do so. He currently plays drums or keyboards in the band depending on the song, they switch who's playing what a lot. Most of the songs FIF writes are co-written by Derrin and Chris with the other 5 members giving less but still always some input. Derrin isn't an incredibly strong musician like Chris is, but after doing it for so many years (he joined the band at 14) he's gotten pretty good and knowing what kind of music sells. He's also an amazing lyricist, and within the bands fandom they say anytime their lyrics are poetic and complex Derrin probably wrote them.

I could talk a lot more about the band itself and its history and rise to fame, but maybe another time.

My OCs world has a magic system, but I don't have to explain it right now because Derrin is the only one of my OCs that isn't a magician whatsoever. He helps when they do like "magic tasks" but he's almost always the guy who tells innocent bystanders to get the fuck out of the way, and not anything more.

He did end up being a guide to a lot of non human magical beings (god ill explain them another time too ig, or maybe I'll never post about this again who knows) but it sort of happened by coincidence. A lot of them look up to him though, and when nothing else is going on he'll hold little "learn to be human" classes for the magical guys. He definitely doesn't do any of that alone, but he also serves as a figure head for this because he's the only one in the friend group who's a non magician, and that makes him interesting and weird to all the magical beings.

I hope that paints a small picture of Derrin! He's a good boyo, him and his husband have a really cute relationship dynamic where he's the stereotypical husband and his husband fits the wife role more, but his husband is 5'11 and built. It's cute.

Also out of all my OCs Derrin is one of two that would have a Tumblr, but Derrin is the one who's most tumblr-kin, like the "I unironically said the shoelace thing when I was 16" kinda Tumblr user. You know?

[sayahs-corner]

Fanfiction by Sayah

Boy do I love me some Stony, but I try not to limit myself to any one ship.

I write mainly smut with darker themes. I do like a happy ending, but I like the angst too much to write fluff.

If suffering, angst, and questionable morals aren't your cup of tea - please don't read my work, you probably won't like it.

If you are under 18, please don't read. Almost nothing I write is for young eyes.

Below are all my works, so far, in the Marvel Universe.

Secrets Don't Make Friends

Summary: Tony Stark has a secret. Several, in fact. Outed to the world as an Omega, he finds himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. His only hope at salvation rests upon the strong shoulders of a certain Captain Steven Rogers. The problem? Rogers hates his guts.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: AU, Past Abuse, Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Bullying, Past Abuse, ABO, Omega verse, Omega Tony Stark, Alpha Steve Rogers, Power Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Hurt Tony Stark

Red Handed

Summary: A One Shot in which Tony Stark is a vigilante on the wrong side of the law. Things go sideways, and he ends up getting caught red handed by Captain America. Ironman has been a thorn in the side of the Avengers for too long, and Steve is more than happy to serve up a hot, steamy, glass of justice to his wild and irksome nemesis. That is, until Tony comes up with a proposition for the Captain.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Shameless smut, TonyxSteve, Stony, Dub con, Dubious Morality, Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Rough Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Rough Blowjob, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content

Teach

Summary: Tony is the new teacher at Belvalle Academy, where the more notorious crime families send their kids, and has run into some trouble with a group of students. Bullied and beaten, Tony is rescued by none other than a Mr. James Barnes, one of his rather lack-luster students...when he actually show up to class. It isn't long before Tony discovers that James Bucky Barnes doesn't help anyone for free, and if he wants the protection the younger man can provide, he's going to have to pay a price for it. Tony can't afford to pay with cash on his limited teacher's salary, so Barnes comes up with a more...creative way that Tony can pay off his debt.

Pairing: Bucky x Tony, Bucky x Tony x Clint

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Some serious AF dubcon, blackmail, AU, Student/Teacher, Student Bucky Barnes, Student Clint Barton, Teacher Tony Stark, Bullying, Anal sex, Blowjobs, Verbal Humiliation, Threesome, Voyeurism, Deepthroating, PWP

Beauty in the Broken

Summary: Tony Stark is a halfbreed Omega on the run. Notorious for being uncatchable and outwitting those who would try to tame him, Tony doesn’t stay in one place for very long. He doesn’t want to be tied down or beholden to any Alpha because in his experience they bring nothing but pain and terror. Besides, Tony has not met a wolf he can’t outrun or outfox.

Until now.

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: AU shifter fanfic, Past Rape (underage - I don't go into extreme detail about this, but if this is triggering for you please do not read), Past Child Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alpha/Omega, ABO, Mildly Dubious Consent

Bound

Summary: A non powered AU in which Tony is a young college student with a vendetta against some of the guys on the hockey team who bully him mercilessly. He concocts a plan to get revenge in an epic way. The only problem? He broke into the wrong house… in more ways than one. August_2022: Where it all went wrong, Twisted Fairy Tales

Pairing: Steve x Tony, Stony, StevexTonyxBucky, Stuckony Rating: Explicit Tags/Warnings: AU fanfic, dubcon, non con, bdsm, bondage, spanking, anal fingering, anal sex, rough oral sex, hurt/comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, blackmail, threesome

The Storm

Summary: Steve and Tony haven't seen eye to eye in a long time. Once inseparable, the two can no longer stand the sight of each other. But when he gets a call from Natasha telling him that there is something seriously wrong with his ex-lover, Tony rushes out into the wilds of Maine to meet her.

Only...there's a blizzard. And when he finally reaches the cabin, it's not Natasha there waiting for him. But Steve himself.

Crafty Russian.

For @captain-stark-rogars (hope you don't hate it! :P) Prompt: Stony on the verge of Divorce but end up stranded ((snow storm?)) and they realize there is a ember burning…they end up wanting to work it out …((maybe sexy time ?))

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, angst, makeup sex, sex on the kitchen table, snowed in

Rocky Road

Summary: Tony Stark has been kidnapped... again. This time is different that the others, though, because his kidnappers are not interested in a ransom. They mean to kill him. His only hope rests upon the smashed smartwatch on his wrist that doesn't seem to want to work. When a call finally goes through, it's to the last person in the world he wants to talk to. His ex-boyfriend, Grant Stevens, who he put in his phone as FuckHead.

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Mature

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, angst, identity porn, secret identities, college age Tony, Steve comes out of the Ice sooner, AU, Feral Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Nazi Punching, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Rescues, HEA

The Tribute

Summary:

He was being hunted.

Which, yeah, okay, was maybe the point of this whole stupid, archaic, tradition. Tony was supposed to be hunted. He was supposed to be chased down by the mythical creatures that haunted these woods. And when they caught him he was supposed to submit, to give himself body and soul, to whatever creature chose him as theirs for the night.

He was supposed to be a sacrifice. A gift of submission to appease the creatures who dwelled in the forest that surrounded the sleepy little town of Pine Hollow. His submission was reparation for a debt owed.

Allegedly.

Pairing: Steve/Tony

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: Non con, Extremely Dubious consent, Werewolf AU, Werewolf Steve, Human Tony, Monster/Human sex, Voyeurism, Human Sacrifice (sexually)

[enha-doodles]

Can you write an expanded version for sunghoon from the one enhypen reaction to you rejecting their confession. Like what happened in detail but in a fic or one-shot.

-🎀

Hey 🎀 anon , I couldn't write more than this due to lack of time but I hope you liked it ^^

.*･ﾟʚ SUNGHOON YANDERE FIC - (drabble 1) ɞ.*･ﾟ 

➸ʚ pairing ɞ : sunghoonxreader!

➸ʚ genre ɞ : yandere

➸ʚ warning ɞ : mention of bullying , hitting ...

➸ʚ Disclaimer ɞ : yandera relationship is not good at all and is very toxic . This is all a work of fiction and my imagination . Credits of the GIFs to the owners . None of the members have the same personality or resonate the traits mentioned below .

Your first day of your new school was up and you were definitely excited . You had got everything new and the clothes were the best part . This school didn't had a fix uniform so you bought the clothes you liked . Cardigans and baggy pants . It looked really cute . You left your home with your driver which was a female . You two talked for bit and then you arrived . After bidding her bye with a wave , you spun on your heels and entered the school gates . You could feel all the eyes that were starting at you . You knew it was common since new people always gets attention . You entered the hallway and that's were you and your life took a turn . (Lol sorry)

When you were finding your homeroom , you were met by a guy bullying a nerd . Some people were just watching , recording or laughing . Nobody was helping so you decided to be the one . We'll hero gets consequences too , right ? "Where's my homework you book worm" The guy exclaimed hitting the boy . "I am sorry Sunghoon I forgot it . You can take mine" the nerd was at the verge of tears ."Yah you . Stop bullying people " when Sunghoon turned around he was met by your blank face . 'who is she and why is she saving him' was the first though that came into his mind . "yeah and who are you to tell me that doll " he said leaving the nerd who ran for his life , quietly thanking you from afar which you acknowledged with a nod . Hoon started walking towards your direction . He came face to face with you and you did what came into your mind . You slapped him . Hard . Many gasps were heard and he was furious . Rather than gasps there were laughs too and some people even got it on tape . Victory for them ? "No one you need to know and stop it because it's not funny nor cool " you walked away unknown to the danger coming behind you . He was humiliated but more of he was angry . "Your gonna regret it doll."

You went to the staff room to take your schedule and dorm keys . After coming out of the staff room you were suddenly pulled into the janitors closet and you heard the door being locked "who tf-" you were met buy sunghoon's gaze and you knew you were fucked . "What ? Why did you pull me here ?!" He flipped you to the door and pinned you . "You think you can slap me and get away with it so easily ? I don't think so doll ". His hands were beside your face and he was close . Too close for your liking . "First of all back tf away and secondly you deserved it" he chuckled . He was amused , it was af if he didn't want revenge now . It was you who he wanted now . "Ahh your a feisty one , I really like you . Be my girlfriend " he said so proudly as if you would directly say yes . "Dude are you in the right state of mind ? Heck no " Oops . That got you to be yanked back and forth really hard and his face became serious . He held you jaw tightly and inches close to you . "You have no say in this doll , you are mine from now" with that he slammed his lips on yours . He was so harsh that it hurt . Your tears wouldn't stop and so would he . You were pushing him but he was clearly stronger . After you finally managed to push him off you and ran away but you knew that wouldn't be the last time he was approaching you .

This was something that freaked you out so much that you couldn't get any sleep that night . You were more afraid because you had to see him again tomorrow too and that jerk could possibly try something on you again . You did your routine and went for your school . You were thinking of skipping it but it was just the second day so you had to go . When you safely made it to your locker without any trances of hoon you were happy . Guess you celebrated too soon . You felt someone behind you and when you turned around it was him . Park Sunghoon . Standing tall with the evil smirk that showed the power he had . You knew you had to be strong . "Fuck off " he just laughed and inched his face closer mockingly saying "where was this strong girl in the janitors room , hmm ?" You were annoyed and just pushed him and walked away fastly thinking 'what an asshole '.

The school was finally over and you got a text message from the driver staying she had some emergency so she can't come to pick you up today . Guess walking it is then.

While you were walking you could swear someone was following you . Learning from the movies you didn't turn back to give them a chance to make you unconscious instead you lead them the wrong way . When you couldn't feel anyone close you stepped out of your hidding spot and were relieved when there really was no one . "Finding me?" You knew the voice and were gonna run when he stepped in front of you making you back away .

"Why are you following me you jerk?!" you questioned all bravely with anger evident in your voice . But the colour of your face drained out when you heard his next sentence followed by an pyschotic laugh " I am here to take you with me since you didn't agree the other day , I told you you were mine and I do what I say " you were too focused on how to run away that you didn't see the syringe coming your way . When it hit your neck you looked at Sunghoon in fear which added to his excitement. "When you wake up ,I'll be by your side , don't worry and sleep well " he smiled . Oh how you wished you never crossed paths with him .

[shotorozu]

hello !! I'd rlly like to request Monoma if that's alright! I've had a huge soft spot for him for a while now and I'd love to see more content of him ;v;

anyway! we all know that superiority complex of his is definitely hiding some insecurities, but I also feel like he'd be quite touchstarved too bc of his peers seldom physically interacting with him due to his quirk, yknow?

with that in mind, I'd love to see how he'd handle an s/o who has "physical touch" as their main love language. they can give verbal praise/comfort, but they always get so shy abt it that they prefer giving physical affection to show their love. and maybe combining that with "quality time" being their second love language, they love to just cuddle him or toy with his hands/hair during quiet moments uwu

if you wanna do multiple characters, I'd love to request Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki (separately) for the same idea, but if you'd rather do this with just Monoma then I'm okay with that !! no worries if you don't wanna do all four ♡

thank you if you do this request, and make sure to take care of yourself !! ♡

physically affectionate s/o

character(s) : monoma neito, shinsou hitoshi, midoriya izuku (i cut out tamaki for this one, sorry :[ but i’ll do another part if anyone wants it)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk but the details aren’t specific, reader is a part of 1-A

headcanon type : fluff (and if you squint, then crack)

note(s) : yes i do agree :,) monoma should be getting a little bit more content, and i’m sorry that this came out so late! i was multitasking with other requests (because i took a 2 day absence,,) but this doesn’t mean i don’t read people’s requests

»»————-　♡　————-««

monoma neito

monoma 🤝 bakugou “the pros at sending mixed signals”

if there’s one thing he’s known for— then it’s for the persistent teasing, and his quite obnoxious attitude (especially at 1-A)

but he’s not a terrible person, he sure does have his reasons. and by now, people either choose to ignore him, or they simply knock the wind out of him

so, he was not prepared to encounter someone that was tolerant of him, AND also his type— like.. huh. that’s.. odd

and he was even more surprised when they accepted his wild love confession. there must be some catch to it, right?

so like i’ve said— monoma sends a lot of mixed signals. it’s either he’s complimenting your existence, or teasing you in various ways.

so— it’s just another normal day of monoma mouthing off to you, teasing you in a playful way, while you guys are hanging out this is way of making you remember him

but then, you just.. leaned forward and placed your hand on his head— not exchanging any words at all.

monoma’s first reaction is (・・?) because what?? someone is touching him right now.. wait.. someone is touching him!

honestly really shook, and at a lost for words— because everyone has refrained from coming into any physical contact with him? what a surprise! what even is this?

after said incident, you decide to speak “you had something in your hair.” and for once, monoma is the one that’s sitting in silence

“R-REALLY, Y/N? DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO W-WORK ON ME OR SOMETHING?” he questions in his usual mocking tone, but his cheeks are accompanied in a flushed red

he’d only experience field day when he realized that touch was basically your love language, with quality time in the second lead

so whenever you guys are spending time together, you’d,, actually go closer to him! this has never happened before, let him be

he doesn’t really like the idea of getting his hair touched, so you usually choose to fiddle with his hands— sometimes observing his details, and other times you’ll be comparing hand sizes

he’ll ridicule you for being so touchy— but he’ll ask if he’s “that irresistable?” while also moving you closer to him. he loves it a lot, okay?

don’t let class 1-b see this, he will flex on them because when he starts getting annoying again, they’ll use you as blackmail.

“monoma, i swear— if you do that, we’ll tell Y/N-”

“HAHA— ok, i’m sorry.”

shinsou hitoshi

he probably has the most chill reaction out of the bunch

again— another person that has been antagonized because of their quirk. he’s been perceived as villanious ever since his middle school days

kids have been told to keep their distance away from him at a young age so.. you’d bet that he’d be really touch starved

he never had any serious experiences with dating, and he never had any real friends— that weren’t cautious of his quirk

that was until he met you, which he just assumed you were another highkey stuck up person in the hero course

but, you were basically the opposite, and you were a real pleasure to have around. one thing lead to another, and now you guys are dating

he thought it was really cute whenever you got too shy to just sit in silence during dates, or to even give out words of affirmations

but hitoshi was surprised at first when he felt you pull yourself closer to him— resting your head on his shoulder. the concept of someone wanting to be in his presence is still sinking in for him

lucky for you! shinsou knows how to adapt to situations quickly, immediately slinging an arm around your shoulder, as he listens to you talk

he’ll be surprised when you start touching his hair, because golly!! are you guys close

but do it more pls, he loves it a lot— it sometimes makes him really drowsy.

if you play with his hands omg, his heart will do somersaults. he’s lucky that he’s able to keep himself composed.

loves watching you choosing to cuddle him, after briefly giving up on trying to form coherent words of affirmations.

it’s something he brings up quite often, but not in a teasing manner!

sometimes he’ll pat the free spot beside him, basically begging you to come closer to him.

eventually, denki notices on how touchy he’ll get whenever you’re around— but hitoshi will just shrug it off

“it’s always been that way.” he simply says, but he’ll turn around with this big ass grin on his face 💀

he’s whipped for your touch. so please, do it more

midoriya izuku

he’s also touchstarved. actually, all of them are really touchstarved, and for different reasons 💀

well.. it’s not like he had a choice from the getgo. he was born quirkless, and that lead to him becoming an outcase— and also the victim of bullying i wanna hug him

and being told constantly that he won’t ever be enough, or he won’t ever be a hero— it’s obvious that he doesn’t have any dating experience

but he didn’t think he’d be dating anytime soon— especially since he was ‘just’ pinning over you. he was convinced it was going nowhere

until you confessed. he’s surprised that he didn’t pass out

ever since you guys started dating, he noticed that you’ve been a little timid— not in the way that you feel awkward, more like,, you wanted to say something

or do something, because when you guys were studying together, you just suddenly sat closer to him— and started counting his freckles

he short circuited for a second.

he was reduced to a stuttering, and blushy mess— and you just laughed, telling him “you should continue what you’re doing!” as you ran your other hand across his shoulders

that night, he was wide awake in his bed— recalling your gentle and loving touch, running his hands along the parts of his hair, that you’ve touched

he loves quality time, because while he does like to ramble a lot— he does enjoy spending time with you in silence, but it’s the touches that makes him flustered

despite him being quite shy to initiate any sort of touch, you— on the other hand, were shy with saying praises. so you coped with physical touch, and quality time

man, izuku never gets used to it. no matter how much he tries to— he’s just.. needy, touchstarved.

he doesn’t realize how lost he looks when you’re sitting beside him, and not touching his hair or hands for once. please feel free to do so

oh, and since we’re on the topic of hands— he’ll tear up if you start playing/fiddling with his hands, and especially when you start tracing his scars. it makes him feel so warm.

okay but,, please give him a heads up if you’re going to act touchy in public. he’ll start stammering and blushing hard you might have to put him in rice or smth

the dekusquad talks about that quite a lot, especially when they accidentally witnessed it in the common room (for the first time)

in short— he adores it. sometimes he’ll initiate it, by asking you if you want to sit beside him, to play with his hair. he’s so inlove

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works for audio readings without my permission :))

[thetimelordbatgirl]

In regards to your latest post, did you read the part where it was stated that Li'l Shang (the poor kid's name is cringy as hell) has a hip hop career and a solo album coming out. Also, I did some research and I found out that Chinese kids who were named after their parents or elders is considered disrespectful, so imagine Jr being bullied severely because of his name. I feel like Disney doesn't know or care about Asian, specifically Chinese characters. What do you think?

Not gonna lie, given I'm not Chinese and I go off uh, what other people have been saying and basically research I had to do in the past for fics, its kinda hard to say what I think? Like, its definitely bad representation all around- as @ishiphumasohard pointed out, Lonnie's designs aren't even influenced by Chinese culture but instead, Japanese....which means Descendants really mashed up Asian cultures just....just because Google wasn't around or you know, a Chinese person to ask I guess.... And then you got the obvious problem: Lonnie's name. Lonnie's name is obviously not Chinese and instead, German/American, which is a little weird cause....that means they had to google names and found Lonnie but....apparently googling Chinese names was hard??? And like, in regards to D1 still, you also got....Lonnie's hair. Aka when they introduce her, she's got a pretty good short hairstyle that is at least dark haired like Lonnie's actress....but then Mal's spell makes the hair look more 'perfect', aka standard curls and....light brown hair.....yeah, to say D1 failed Lonnie is an understatement.

And in D2....they at least gave her her dark hair back, since actress is finally free from Descendants wigs.....but then they, um, gave her cornrows.....which as pointed out by @harriyanna , isn't made for non-black people cause it will fuck up the hair, and in terms of Descendants history with Black People, is basically giving a non-black girl....a black hairstyle....cause just a simple braid that wouldn't fuck up the actresses hair was hard, I guess. And like, they dis-respect Mulan HARD really in this franchise....which isn't hard, if your not Mal, your guaranteed to be disrespected somehow, but still- remember how in D2 we got gendered sports suddenly??? Why is that??? Ignoring Queen Belle suffered sexism and you also got Merida, MULAN SAVED CHINA- so why is she ignored??? And, "Wait until I tell my mom", is really an insult to the inspiring message of the OG Mulan as....come on, is it not insulting to find out a guy just passed the problem to Lonnie to deal with???

Oh and then Lonnie's just....not in D3. I get its cause actress was busy, but not even a MENTION of her....like, wow, Disney.... Do not get me started on Li'l Shang. His whole introduction is weird as like, when did Lonnie get a brother??? But yeah, @descendantofthesparrow did point that detail out to me about names ironically enough today when we were talking....like, next to it being lazy to just, slap a parents name onto the character....its also disrespectful as like....basic research is key here. And I really don't get what it is with Descendants and making their two Chinese characters, Lonnie and Li'l Shang....into hip hop....I really don't. Lonnie's personality is already constantly changing, and the fact that they did that to her brother too..... Also more evidence they didn't research Mulan.....they say Li'l Shang....is going to rule his kingdom soon....which by logic, is China....which....um....how???? Mulan and Shang are NOT royalty. Yes, they are close with the emperor, but they are not royalty. Disney Princesses doll line isn't evidence at all for this, and neither is the Mulan entry into The Queen's Council, as that book series started AFTER Rise I'm pretty sure, so like, they literally couldn't even look into Mulan's own film and just said, "Yeah guess she rules China now."

And shout out to this bitch cause I still can't get over him: the Elder Wong off Stone City, Charlie Wong. First off. his name should be Wong Charlie from what I understand of how names work in China, not Charlie Wong. And also, WHY CHARLIE?! Like, is he Chinese-American or is this really slapping the whitest name onto a Chinese character? Like, I am so lost by this. There is also Dizzy technically as a Chinese character, as her actress is half-Chinese, but uh....you'd be forgiven to not know that in D2, given how white they make her look, and in D3, they introduce Tremaine as Chinese too, but um....yeah, that can fall into some iffy writing tropes with how we know Tremaine is a abusive person to Cinderella and even in D2, is implied to be abusive to Dizzy....let alone the fact that in the graphic novel for Isle of the Lost, Tremaine is depicted as white, and we technically had Dizzy by that point, so they literally had a relative of Tremaine's to take a hint of what Tremaine should look like a little.

But like....to wrap up I guess this really long answer....its bad is all I can say. Again, I'm not Chinese, so I really would encourage anyone to seek out Descendants fans who are Chinese, but like, Descendants really just fucked up with Chinese representation....just like they fucked up with most representation really.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Your place

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (High School AU)

Warnings: yandere, obsession, bullying, threats, non-con.

Words: 1510.

Summary: You suffer in the arms of America's golden boy, the one who has been bullying you for years.

P.S. I just realized most of my smut fics are about Bucky, so I decided to write one with Steve instead. Btw, all characters had reached 18 years of age. Hope you'll enjoy!

______________

"Damn girl, you better put some makeup." Someone's loud voice behind your back made you flinch. "Y'know, you can still do something about that face."

You heard a burst of laughter and bit your lips. It had always been a part of your daily routine for several years once you moved to New York and went to Abraham Lincoln High School. God, you regretted it with all your heart.

"Come on, Sam. Give her some credit." You didn't even need to turn your head to know who was speaking. "She's the natural beauty, isn't she?"

You spun on your heels, watching harshly the group of guys leaning against the wall and smirking at you, all beefy, muscular and tall. The biggest assholes in whole Brooklyn; players of Howling Commandos, your school's basketball team; the ones most of the girls dreamed about and to whom they sent love letters every goddamn week, as the guys claimed. They had been your absolute nightmare since you got transferred to this place.

You glanced at Steve Rogers, America's golden boy, incredibly handsome with those blonde hair and blue eyes; the picture-perfect image of a diligent, polite student; the one whose face they put on promotional posters every year. You knew better than anyone else who was hiding behind this facade of "just a kid from Brooklyn".

"What, are you moody after yesterday's game?" You smirked, knowing very well that they had just lost against Hydra, the team Steve always hated with all his soul. "Go fuck youself and calm down, dear. Or are your buddies gonna lend you a hand, maybe?"

The smile fell from his face as the guy frowned, his bright blue eyes burning a hole in your figure. You guessed he really missed those days when you just listened quietly while he and his friends kept insulting you, but these days were long gone. You grew some teeth by the end of your final year.

"Listen, you little..." Bucky hissed, but Steve raised his hand and made him fall silent as you grinned, clenching your lunchbox in your hands.

Oh, he was mad. You knew well how much Rogers detested swear words, especially if they were coming from a woman's mouth.

"Watch your language, girl," his voice was unusually hoarse, his eyes watching you intensely, "or I'll have to teach you how to speak to a man myself."

"I'd like to see that." You giggled nervously, relieved there were enough students passing by to prevent Steve from doing anything stupid. "But if you want to complain to Mr. Banner to give me a detention, please feel free, dear."

You turned around with a silly smile on your face, waiting for him and his friends to give you some more empty threats, but you heard nothing at all as you kept walking. Suddenly feeling victorious and somewhat invincible, you laughed to youself, hurrying away. Did you just make those assholes silent, gasping for words at your audacity? Did it truly shut their goddamn mouths? God, it was unbelievable. Well, maybe going against Steve Rogers wasn't wise, but you couldn't pretend you were okay with that attitude of his after all those years of pure humiliation. You did nothing but protected yourself, right? Besides, he could hardly do anything since you were never alone at school, and after finishing your classes you were lucky to be driven home by your dad who worked close.

But maybe buying a mace wasn't a bad idea.

You laughed at yourself, finally arriving at the cafeteria and landing on one of the seats with a loud sigh. You knew Steve and his friends wouldn't do anything - their college admission was at stake, and you'd be happy to provide police with all the details if anything were to happen to you. Surely, they wouldn't risk it for just a few words you exchanged with them this morning.

_________________

Shit, you were so late for your PE class! Everyone was already at the field while you ran to the locker room, gasping for air. You didn't need Maximoff to yell at you the third time this month.

You threw your bag to the floor once you spotted your locker and jumped to it, abandoning your skirt in a matter of seconds and desperately trying to get your shorts out. You didn't care much about your surroundings as no one else was inside the locker room. Class had already started 10 minutes ago.

You didn't think anyone could be waiting for you here on purpose.

Before your heard the lock snap, somebody slammed your body into the locker, pressing you to its cool metal door so hard you lost your ability to move. Frightened to death, you were ready to scream, but someone's hand clamped over your mouth, muffling the sound. God, what was happening? Who was that? Why didn't you see anyone?

"Shhh, it's okay." You knew this voice too well. "You can keep screaming, but there's no one around, you know that."

You grunted against his hand, trying your best to throw the huge guy off you but achieving little: Steve was a bull of a man. His enormously big body leaned so close to yours that you could feel his every fucking muscle with his chest pressed to your back. His other hand gripped your throat tighter to make you stop squirming.

You needed to keep your mouth shut today instead of provoking him.

"Yeah, like that." Steve shushed you in a mockingly gentle tone, lifting his hand from your mouth and nuzzling against your ear, inhaling your scent. "I like when you're quiet."

"What the fuck are you doing, Rogers?" You asked him furiosly, pretending you weren't frightened to death. "Have you lost your head?"

"Language." His low gutteral growl made you shiver as you felt his palm on your neck moving.

Clenching your teeth, you tried pushing him away once more, but instead you just grinded against his heated body and realized he was... aroused, the bulge in his pants obvious as you moved your ass. God, no. No, no, no! You were at the edge of going into hysterics, shaking and pushing and crying with his hand on your mouth again. It was hard to breath with so little space Steve gave you, his unbearably hot body covering yours.

"What happened, dear? Cat got your tongue?" You were disgusted at his sweet loving tone. "Aw, don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. You wanted me to teach you how to speak to a man, remember?"

His grip on you was madly strong - you winced in pain once Steve had squeezed the cheek of your ass with his huge calloused palm, your head pressed into the cool metal locker as he hovered above you. When he started kissing your neck, you bit your tongue in utter despair. He was fucking sick. Deranged. He was ready to do this over some little quarrel when the only thing you actually did was responding to his bullying.

Your mind was hazy as you started losing your strength after good five-minute struggle. Rogers didn't relent in his efforts to keep you pinned and completely defenseless.

"This is rape, Steve." You whispered, exhausted and anxious. "Do you understand?"

"Come on, what are you saying?"

His hand travelled down to your hips as he caressed them gently and moved to tug your panties down your legs.

"You're so wet for me, dear. How can you call it rape?" You shut your eyes when Steve touched you down there, forcing you to spread your legs and settling in against the craddle of your thighs. As he moved the elastic of your black panties, his fingers were playing with your folds, and you realized with shame he was right as he spread a bit of your wetness on your skin playfully. "Admit it, you have a thing for bullies."

"No, I d..."

Before you could bark at him he forced you to turn your head and kissed you hungrily, pushing his tongue in your half-opened mouth. You squirmed, grasping his hand, yet his arm that he used to hold your chin before swept yours away as he pushed you against the locker even harder. You could feel his erected cock through the fabric of his school pants.

Making a soft noise at the feeling of his tongue rubbing against yours, you heard Rogers groaning, his chest heaved. If you could pull away, a shudder would rush down your spine at the sight of his face. Instead of a school bully there was a predator waiting to tear his prey apart.

"Stop, please..." You panted heavily once he finished kissing you, his fingers still caressing your womanhood, your juices leaking down your thighs. "Why me? What have I done? You have hundreds of girls who want to throw themselves at you."

He smiled and rested his sweating forehead against yours, teasing your entrance.

"You see, it's easy. You get off on being bullied, and I get off on bullying you." Steve started rubbing little circles on your engorged clit, admiring your blushing cheeks. "We can have so much fun together if you just stop resisting me and take your place."

___________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki ​ @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​ @lovelydarkdaydream

[the-ghost-king]

Interestingly enough the fandom isn't always rational with their criticism. Take Percy and Rachel for instance. A perfectly healthy cute and functional relationship dynamic, but people really hated it because it got in the way of Percy/Annabeth.

I think it can also come down to the fact that not all situations are exactly equal if that makes sense. If you have a character dynamic in couple A, that often playfully bully of fight with eachother that's a different dynamic than relationship B, where one person has trauma resulting from bullying and the other parter behaves in roughly the same way as couple A do. In that case the behavior may be seen as inappropriate. Not that this example has anything to do with the ships at hand, but I think a long form meta examining the different paralleling issues from both relationships and their validity would be easier.

Also I haven't seen anything about about Nico/Will being called toxic. Yikes, what are people saying exactly, because I don't doubt a lot of people might be projecting unconcious bias.

Oh absolutely, I may seem young but I remember the Rachel vs Annabeth ship wars all too well... I do not want to go back 😅

The rest is under a read more though, I got a little carried away talking! Also this isn't my best post on the issue by far so please feel free to check out the tags I mention later on!

(AN: I use nblm alongside mlm in this post because some nblm individuals will consider their attraction to men as gay, or queer, while others will not and those individuals are often closely connected to mlm experiences and they also deserve to talk about their thoughts and feelings if they wish. I am aware nonbinary people are not a monolith and not all nonbinary people will categorize themselves or their attraction this way, it's up to nonbinary individuals reading this to determine where they fall on what)

As for Solangelo being toxic some of the conversations revolve around the ableist nature of the ship, this is definitely most obviously a dynamic in BoO, and it's a more than fair point about the ship I don't have anything negative to say there in the slightest!

(The above parallels with the idea that Will is introduced as a "healer character" for the "sad gay kid", which is a fair criticism as well but one that's often left rather one sided, because while that is true- if it's a way Nico likes being treated (watched closely for injuries and cared for) then it's not wrong, and in ToN Will is seen overstepping Nico's boundaries which causes a healthy argument about Will doing so and he stops, so if Nico doesn't tell Will "no" or some variation he's obviously not horribly uncomfortable with the situation, or from the way it would be interpreted alongside previous text, there's fair reason to think he likes it)

The thing with Solangelo I see often is "Nico is still processing trauma, and internalized homophobia and isn't ready for a relationship" which is a huge misunderstanding on how trauma and internalized homophobia work as a whole, because the experiences can be different for everyone. You can absolutely date someone while processing internalized homophobia, you may struggle with certain things but it is absolutely doable for some people. And trauma is such a varied thing, and it's not like he's solely relying on Will either, he is seeing Dionysus for therapy and getting the help he needs! Your life doesn't have to go on hold for therapy no matter how much trauma you are sorting through! (Not disclosing my medical history or anything but I have struggled with both things and my life didn't stop for me to deal with them, I made new friends, went on dates, etc- it is possible depending on the person so the very narrow view of "this is unhealthy" and "this is impossible" rubs me wrong when it's treated as fact over opinion, because it's an opinion).

There's also constant discussions about how fandom (in current) fetishizes both Nico and Will, which I, and other mlm and nblm have spoken our own thoughts on multiple times to be largely ignored by the biggest perpetrators of this "they're overly fetishized narrative". There's also fairly consistent discussion of how fandom treats Nico and reduces him to uwu small gay boy, which more often than not seems to mean "effeminate" rather than actually harmful stereotyping (yes queer men are allowed to be "girly" especially considering there is some canon text that could be interpreted with that meaning, if there wasn't a plausible way to determine canon that way I wouldn't care if people were going after others feminizing Nico a bit- but the issue is again, fact and feeling aren't the same and fandom seem to conflate the two rather often).

(Some of that ties into nonbinary Nico head canons which are common as of current, and that argument quickly becomes transphobic is people don't watch themselves... Even without bringing nonbinary Nico into the equation, headcanoning Nico as femme isn't bad or wrong, and to say otherwise becomes gender policing which is bad).

There's also this weird obsession with there being a "correct way" to ship mlm ships (specifically solangelo), which when considering it's not mlm or nblm saying those things, it becomes really uncomfortable. Especially because the wording of some posts is less "hey this is homophobic" and comes off more like people are more upset at seeing an mlm couple than at the fact that they're being shipped poorly.

All of this in combination with the constant, talking over of queer guys (specifically mlm and nblm) comes off really messed up, and yeah homophobic.

It's not something that can be pinned down to one specific thing but rather a series of smaller microagressions (which in sure most of are intended in good faith but are being filled with subconscious bias) that build up over time- which is why my concern is that solangelo is facing harsher criticism/different treatment that percabeth simply for being a queer ship.

I can't be 100% sure on that like I said, because that's something that is hard to gain tangible evidence for, or maybe even impossible :/

If there wasn't so many other small things going on alongside the harsher criticism of solangelo, I would honestly just ignore it... But the weird policing of "how to ship solangelo" while proclaiming it's "overly fetishized" all while speaking over a not insignificant number of mlm and nblm who have agreed with certain opinions, or taken time to write their own (+ some of the rhetoric that can be found on he blogs of people commonly expressing these opinions) is super uncomfortable and definitely homophobic... Even if they were treating the ship kind of weird, but treating the queer guys talking about it well and actually listening (because the current solangelo fandom probably has the highest proportion of queer guys in comparison to any other fandom I've been in with an mlm ship as of right now) I wouldn't be so bothered... But sadly that's not the case..

(I'd also like to note out of my posts criticizing the current conversations happening around the issue my post saying "listen to mlm voices" got a lot more notes than some of the other ones, which I can't say is specifically anything, because like solangelo perhaps being treated unfairly to percabeth, I am willing to acknowledge there might not be an issue- but it's weird how often mlm and nblm's posts on "listen to us" will be uplifted but never any actual criticism... Just a thought)

I detail things a little closer and in more detail in some of my posts tagged #fandom homophobia, #mlm fetishism, and #gender policing in fandom, it's not a full or comprehensive list (I've only really started speaking up in the last month or so), and it is largely solangelo specific. However I am always interested in listening to the voices of other queer guys about the issues and hearing out their thoughts as well (people aren't a monolith and I'm interested in trying to be as nuanced as possible!) and I acknowledge that although I am mlm and am going to be a little better at recognizing issues and calling them out (although I like every person am not perfect of course)

So yeah! That's a bit of the current ongoings, again not a full comprehensive list, and definitely not my best explanation ever but I think the point gets across well enough? Definitely check out my other tags if you're interested in more, there's also definitely more posts I need to make on some of the things I've seen (maybe not all of them so solangelo fandom specific, and maybe some of them even more solangelo fandom specific) but it's rather slow work in progress!