#don't actually do that usually i turn out to be a bad culture fit for servers [in an 'i drift off rapidly' way not an 'everything catches f

[unopenablebox]

yuletide discord server is really not succeeding at feeding me [social writing activity emotion that leads me to write] and i am instead wasting hours on [nonendorsed fic community server/archives] and it is making me irritable and also causing me to write using weird syntax as displayed here and i had like six hours to write my evil yuletide fic and didn't >:(

[utilitycaster]

this may seem needlessly finicky but I do actually believe it's important: calling Verin a himbo is just one of many examples where like, one of the cast says something off the cuff and it's not exactly the right word or it is highly contextual, and that is fine because no one is perfect especially in improv, but then it gets repeated ad infinitum within the fandom when it never really fit in the first place. We have Verin's stats and he's decently more intelligent than average with a 13 (smarter than most of Bells Hells for one; as smart as Pike); it's just he's the guy with a bachelor's degree with good grades followed by military service in a family where everyone has two PhDs - Matt said "himbo of the family" the way in a family where most people are exceptionally tall you'd call the 5'11" child the short one. In Call of the Netherdeep he appears as thoughtful and competent and promoted to a difficult position at a very young age, and in the campaign his appearance is simultaneously as a leader of troops in a dangerous mission, and someone who cares enough about poetry from a completely foreign and distant culture to have tried to learn more about it. I'm sorry, but if you're using the word "himbo" I don't think you're processing a thing about the character yourself; you're just the latest repetition in a game of telephone that's been going on since mid-2021.

And that's not deeply bad on the surface, and I'm using Verin not because he is the character most wronged by this sort of thing but because he's recent and it's really clear where the word came from and that it's not a good assessment, but something I happen to have a decent knack for is pattern recognition in language. I usually find it really easy to pick up on when someone's plagiarized because of the language and pattern shifts. I tend to remember urls and out of place words well. So I do tend to notice when everyone suddenly starts using a single turn of phrase and I tend to flag it. Sometimes that's not bad; sometimes it means everyone came to a similar conclusion and that's the best way to express that conclusion. But like, when Taliesin called the Yios episode a gas-leak episode and the entire fandom started parroting it? The line "bone-dry takes"? The fact that a lot of ship defenses I see were phrased precisely as "I have eyes"? without actually talking about the ship itself? the fact that I've seen a spike in the use of the term "ontologically evil" including in myself and not all uses are actually correct? And extending this beyond strictly language but consider any headcanon with minimal textual support that catches like wildfire (sidebar: remember how we make, or made fun of the SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE tendency on Tumblr a decade ago? same concept of repetition of a specific turn of phrase without internalizing) all sort of ping this.

And it's fine, truly, to come to fandom and turn off your brain. I know this will sound sarcastic from me, and that's because I don't personally agree, but I do strongly agree that you can do what you want in fandom and you don't have to listen to my opinions so in the end, yeah, it's fine because I am not the arbiter of "fine". But I think critical thought is a vital exercise and I think precision with language is part of it and so if you find yourself using the same exact words and thoughts as everyone else, that should, ideally, trigger a process of "but are these the right words? what do I see when I see this character and how would I describe them? do I agree with this assessment?" Fandom is an interesting and easier microcosm than reality in which to start doing that.

[uss-genderprise]

okay the new episode has people poking my sleeping special interest like a bear and it was about time to wake it from hibernation anyway so here are some fun facts about welsh fairies

it's spelled fairy. it's always spelled fairy. not faerie, faery, fae, or fey. fairy. please. or tylwyth teg if you want to be proper about it

fairies are not inherently malevolent. they work by their own rules that sometimes don't make sense to humans but there are rules, if you pay attention.

yes fairies will punish you for doing something they don't want you to do

they will also reward you for doing things they do want you to do

fairy rings are circles of green grass. they sometimes how up as a different shade of green than the grass around it and are generally markers of where fairies dance, as well as portals to the fairy realm. mushrooms aren't really a thing for that in welsh folklore.

string and bones and flowers are man-made and possibly supposed to bind or protect against fairies (though i haven't seen anything quite like what we see in the episode described in any of my sources) but generally breaking one of those doesn't immediately anger fairies, just lets them in to affect whoever put the ward up in the first place. that's not called a fairy circle.

changelings exist in welsh folklore. have fun with your theories.

fairies will generally let you leave the fairy world if you ask nicely. yes even if you've eaten the food and drank the drinks

however time moves differently so when you come back you might be super old and/or turn to dust the moment someone touches you

dancing is a different thing tho. they don't exactly want you to stay dancing with them until you die of exhaustion but like that's on you my dude get your friends to help you

if you broke fairy rules like kicking them out of their meadow to build a castle they will count eight* generations** and come back to turn that castle into a lake and drown everyone inside. you have been warned (repeatedly. usually by old ladies and/or bards and/or birds or sometimes just. A Voice™)

* the number of generations can and does vary but in welsh folklore it's generally 8 that's an important number, not 3 or 7.

** also the way generations are counted is. weird. idk if it's that i'm bad at math or bad at welsh or that the book i read explaining this is over 100 years old but i don't think i fully got how many generations this actually is.

oh and they only wait if you beg enough otherwise they kill you now

so basically. no getting trapped in the fairy world as punishment. they just kill you

personally i think the closest thing in welsh folklore to that old woman is a weird lady but even that isn't a great fit

yeah fairies bend time and space to always be far away from you if they want to but that's generally because they're trying to avoid you not following you at a distance

i am fully aware rtd probably couldn't care less about any of this. he definitely didn't do the work that i did to learn all this and incorporating this into your theories is probably shooting yourself in the foot as far as actually being correct goes. HOWEVER i do think it's more interesting and fun this way :) theories are gonna be wrong anyway might as well respect the culture that's inspiring them while we're at it yeah?

i will cite my sources if anyone asks but i doubt many people care to read hundreds of pages of edwardian non fiction novels just to fact check me. trust me on this guys

[therollingriceball]

(demi) Aventurine x (bisexual) Female!Reader // tw on my interpretation of Aventurine's past // kind of character study writing based on my personal sexuality hcs for him

At first, Aventurine never really thought much about falling in love anymore. After everything he went through, it was quite the natural thing to do.

It's not like sex and what came with it repulse him. Sure, it still does whenever he felt like he's not in charge. That reason alone made him avoid doing it with men as much as possible; most of the guys who wanted to do it with him wanted him to be the submissive one and he doesn't like it as much as it brought bad flashbacks.

But he doesn't really know if he's completely straight or not, because putting that aside he does admit he got attracted to men sometimes. Though to be fair, since he's the last of his people, he at least thought to actually fall in love with someone who could have a family with him, and most of the time those kind of people are female. Or born and assigned at female at birth.

By now, he knew people usually had a label dangling with them, whether they're attracted to the 'opposite gender' or the 'same gender'--- a concept that was foreign when he was just a child named Kakavasha. The Avgin's concept of attractions were rather unique for the universe, it seems. It's not like they were conservative as some other faraway planets probably does-- in fact, it was so open that most people doesn't put labels on it. Love just happened in their culture, there's no need for labels.

Why he's mentioning these on his thought, you wonder?

You spent a few times with him, as a 'friend' or so he called, when he realized an unfamiliar feeling. A feeling of warmth were resurrected in his cold, unassuming heart, where he wanted to keep you close as much as possible. He's not even sure it's relevant to the feeling of friendship anymore--- and that's where he noticed it might be more than friendship and curiosity, but love.

It's not like he hadn't had crushes before meeting you. He had a few people that interest him, but he usually put those feelings aside for the sake of his work. He thought if he puts these feelings aside for a while, it'll be gone as much as his other thoughts.

At least, until you mentioned a feminine name as your ex, and he felt heartbroken.

By now, he knew about how people had labels with them well, and the one that fits your attraction might've not been suitable for him.

---

You called him out for avoiding you ever since you mentioned your ex. What you didn't know was that he always did that for things he deemed as unattainable flower. It was something he's much more comfortable to do upon losing a lot of things in his life.

But you had no way of knowing that, and thought he's just not comfortable befriending you anymore because of those labels on you. And to those, he broke his silence.

"There's no way I would hate you just because of that!"

"Then what, Aventurine? I'm starting to lose clues!"

"Because," Aventurine avoided your gaze as much as possible as his face were blushing. "I don't want to trouble you if I fell in love with you. After all--"

"Wait!"

You were dumbfounded, but only for a second. Your face grew red as you realized it was a love confession, and that he had a misunderstanding--- and no, actually you both did. You thought he wouldn't like you that way because of similar reasoning. There are a few rumors going on about him, after all----

"....Idiot. I'm actually bisexual." you sighed out loud as you declared. "And I do love you back."

Turned out, you weren't an unattainable flower, at all.

[bonefall]

Thoughts on Wasp? I like the idea of cats joining that turn out that the Clans aren’t great… but also it feels… weird? Like it seems like another “lazy cat bad” on some levels. I don’t mind him not joining the Clans but these “outsider learns they’re not fit for the Clans” things always give me a pause from the Erins. Also interested in how you would handle him!

Moonkitti's video on him is really well worded, if you haven't seen it yet. I do think he's different from the way that other books tend to portray outsiders in that they are saying that he was driven away by the xenophobia of the Clans... but.

They still make him extremely disinterested in Clan life while he's in ThunderClan. I think that was a massive blunder to write, if the thing they're trying to say is "XENOPHOBIA PREVENTS OTHERWISE ENTHUSIASTIC MIGRATION"

It would have hit harder if it was Wafflepaw who tried to run to RiverClan, got assaulted, and then didn't want to be a Clan cat anymore.

Wafflepaw WANTS to be a warrior. Wasp did not. It reads more like Wasp getting hate crime'd was a "last straw" more than THE reason why he won't stay.

That's where you're getting that vibe they're saying "lazy cat bad," imo. It's a bit different from usual, but it still seems like the narrative is saying that Wasp really didn't belong here anyway.

(no, Nightheart's moment where he looks at the camera and says "he could have been fine!" doesn't change that they showed, in their text, with the actions they wrote, that Wasp was not enjoying being part of the Clans anyway. If that was their intended thesis, their writing was sloppy.)

It feels especially weird that Bee didn't go with Frostpaw. Bee was the character with a lot more setup and that strange dream. A lot of people were confusing Bee and Wasp when the book first came out and I don't blame them.

Most importantly, you can't talk about Wasp without also mentioning one of THE worst lines I think has ever been written into a Warrior Cats book. The part where tigerHeartstar says, "Those cats who just committed a hate crime were perfectly good people before the evil dictator took over. If we kill the evil dictator, I'm sure they'll CHANGE BACK"

I'm still REELING. Fuck you MEAAAN "CHANGE BACK????" CHANGE BACK? LIKE BEING A BIGOT IS UNCOMFORTABLE SHOES???

CHANGE BACK... me bringing my evil dollars up to the villain store and exchanging it for racism coins... change back...

So when I get around to it, I'm going to evaluate if Wasp is even actually necessary in the form he's in. BB is already about xenophobia and bigotry and the harm it does. Frostpaw has no shortage of examples to witness what Thistle Law is, and what it does to those excluded from Clan Culture.

When I first made my Family Tree for RiverClan, I actually ended up making Splashstar's MOM, Havenpelt, an ex-rogue. I think seeing him order a hate crime against his own mother would be a LOT more impactful here, actually.

What Frostpaw DOES need is allies and friends. I'm already starting by expanding her little "DND Party," a word I'm using to affectionately refer to some cats who will be following her home from her pilgrimage to the Park. 99% chance that Nightheart is going to become a permanent member of this party, joining RiverClan at the end of ASC. Waffle will be another. She'll probably also pick up a Tribe cat.

Wasp will be on this party, but I won't decide what happens to them until I see what that last book has in store. Who knows, he might come back (though I hope not, run as far away from these ghouls as possible Wasp!!)

[considermygenderminecrafted]

hmmmm. Debating makin this post but sure. Fuck it.

context: Sunny felt really hurt over how Phil introduced her to Talullah and some folks are interpreting is as Phil were cruel or that he's tryna be like more fucked up after purgetory

Disclaimer: Sunny is a kid and has every fuckin right to feel how she feels, and interpret things how she does, and it would be great if they talked and figured shit out. Disclaimer over.

Post: Ngl fellas, introducin someone with some banter about a topic you don't see em as insecure about is just kinda summit you Fuckin Do in north england. YUP EVEN WITH THE LITTLENS. My Mam and Dad did it with me nd my sister as a kid, my parents close friends would to it with us, my friends rents do it with them, my mates do with to me, I do it with them. It's like, kinda a thing that just happens,,, It's part of the culture. especially if the person you're introducing them too is nervous, cause its an ice breaker. Like "hey the person you're scared of is a person like you, look they can handle a bit of banter, its all fine we're friends here" type vibes!

Usually, you preface or end it with a compliment to show you're genuine feelings, and usually you don't do it with someone when it's your first meeting with em, but you'll take the piss out of someone you like to show that you like them yknow? Especially if you've like done other shit to establish yous appreciate that thing you're making fun of em about (like qPhil givin Sunny another pretty crown cause she likes gifts and pretty things and feeling like a princess).

You'd also go for something that you don't acutally feel negateiely about, obviously. Phil doesn't give a shit that she and tubbo steal, thats just a like thing that happens sometimes that you can roll your eyes at but whatever kids gonna nick shit /affectionate. It's not a fuckin insult coming from a place to shame or correct, it's intended to be banter, yknow?

Like, its a show that you like the person and know summit about the person and also believe they can handle a bit of banter at their expense. ESPECIALLY if you've seen em take the piss out of you, someone else, or themselves, cause then it's like "oh word you like to play with this dynamic, okay"

And like, does it suck when you misjudge? Absolutely. Does it suck when someone chooses the wrong topic and gets at summit you're genuinely insecure about? Yes. I've had convos with mine being like 'hey can you not use this topic when you're doin banter' and thats like, really fair to do. There are also like more casual ways to tell em to knock it off like, turning it back on them, or lampshadin it etc which are like, accepted way to tell someone to back down a bit, because it's just like. A thing you do here!

Like qPhil takes the piss out of everyone he loves, chayanne and talullah get it all the time, tubbo (the godparents of his kids) gets it SO much, so does fit, so does Etoiles, like its truly is like, just a fuckin, part of friendships.

TO REITERATE. SUNNY HAS EVERY FUCKIN RIGHT TO FEEL THE WAY SHE DOES! SHE IS A KID, SHE'S NOT FROM THE SAME CULTURAL BACKGROUN, SHE DOESN'T KNOW PHIL THAT WELL NOR PHIL AND TUBBOS RELATIONSHIP!!

Did qPhil put his foot in it? Yes. Do they need to have a natter and settle things? Yes.

But it would be fuckin Lovely if we didnae start up "Phil is actually being a bad person and purpose and cc!Phil is making the choice for his character to be bad" when it's just like, a cultural difference from him being northern again

[mannatea]

Waiting for the Rain, a Fire Emblem 7 fanfic

Words: 1,083 words Summary: On their journey back to Sacae, Lyn asks Kent a question that helps them both come to an understanding. Pairing/Character: Kent/Lyn Extra Info: This was originally written for @arthoure from the prompt "Kent and Lyn's journey back to Sacae. Slice of life." It was first posted on February 19, 2012 and was 545 words long. Rating: T Genre: Romance, angst, courtly love undertones.

Thank you to @trash-god for the beta work. 💚

WOW, okay, note time! Read these after the story, please.

Boy do I have notes. First of all, the original story isn't really recognizable now.

You Heard It Here First, Folks!

It's not that I think the original was bad; my notes on it pretty clearly state that I thought it would need some work but had a good concept going for it. Anyway, when I'm doing these rewrites I'm mostly thinking of how I might approach the story if I was writing it now (versus how it was actually written).

When I did that for this story, I came away from the original with a couple of really good ideas—mostly surrounding two points that were brought up in the original comments on this story.

Kent's fear that loneliness would keep them together even if things got bad, and

The idea that Kent might be aware that propriety and titles might get in the way of him being a good partner for Lyn.

In the original the first point was made well enough, but the second stated that he was afraid of not being good enough to be [more than a lover]. I discarded that idea because, I feel like in the more courtly-love-esque background I gave them, here, they almost start out as more than lovers already.

Anyway, the new themes for this story based on those two points came to me so quickly it even surprised me. I feel like people don't really give Kent much credit as a character. Everyone thinks he's boring and has little to recommend him, but I like to imagine him as if he could be a person, because anything less would honestly just make me a shit-tier writer. <3 Also, he's an extremely successful person at a young age, and notably disciplined/hard-working, yet dedicates himself wholly to Lyn in his supports with her...and leaves literally everything he's ever known to be with her.

When I wrote this story originally I had never done such a thing myself, and in fact I would not do that very thing until almost four years later. (Most of you reading this probably know this already, but it's not easy to leave everything you know for a new place—and in Kent's case, a completely new culture, too. All out of love!)

I dunno, man. I think a character like that has a few interesting components worth exploring!

In light of these two points being brought to the forefront of the story, I had to craft a situation where they felt like bigger issues than everything else that comes with "leaving everything you've ever known for the unknown." While all of my ideas didn't make it into the story (there just wasn't room to include everything without bogging it down and making it boring), I did try to fit in a few hints. I really wanted to highlight that these fears are reasonable things for someone like Kent to struggle with, particularly propriety acting as a legitimate potential roadblock, rather than the usual KentLyn fare of "teehee it's funny if he can't remember to call her only by her name" or "it's hot if he calls her Lady Lyndis when they're intimate."

And I mean, don't get me wrong. The former can be funny in some circumstances and the latter can definitely be hot (teehee), but in a story like this I wanted to try something that sits outside of that realm and rests more in angst: "they're both tired of propriety but have been beholden to it for so long it's hard to remember it doesn't govern them anymore." And Kent struggles especially with it.

The backstory, for those curious, is more or less that, rather than die quickly, Marquess Hausen took a downward turn and not only lost some of his physical health, but also his mental faculties. Basically, he suffered from dementia. I really wanted to include this in the story to some degree (by having him recognize Lyn as Madelyn, completely forgetting who Lyn actually is & also failing to recognize his loyal retainers of the last few years), but I just couldn't fit it in clearly without it sounding clumsy.

Anyway, Hausen's unstable mental health also spells trouble for Kent and Lyn's (quiet, somewhat courtly love) relationship because mentally he's backsliding into seeing Lyn as Madelyn and sometimes he still imagines she's in love with someone he doesn't approve of (because he is remembering Hassar). Due to the fact that he oftentimes doesn't recognize Kent anymore, the price of getting caught doing anything together kind of skyrockets; they can't really predict how he might react, but they can guess that it will be bad due to how poorly he is doing.

Thus, they have this mostly courtly love romance going on, where they try to find moments to at least have something more for themselves. And this goes on. For several years.

So by the time they get out of this situation, they're both rather beaten down by it, but he struggles to really put himself in a mindset where it feels natural to just hold her outside of specific intimate periods (which is a nice way of me saying they definitely had sex before this story takes place, but as you can imagine, this doesn't fix the issue for him).

I don't actually think this is that big of a deal to Lyn (though if it went on too long it would make her despair), but from Kent's perspective: he literally gave up everything but Lyn to be here. SHE IS ALL HE HAS. He wants this to work. And he loves her so much that all the factors that are out of his control or that he can't know make him anxious. He doesn't want to disappoint her. He doesn't want to fail her. And he's afraid that his own habits—born more or less of survival when they had to be careful—will start causing her to resent him.

Like he thinks she shouldn't have to remind him. It's a small thing. He knows it is. He understands that now. He should just do it; he shouldn't have to think about it or be told. And he's like, ashamed that he's not immediately able to shed those literal years of what was essentially trauma.

Truthfully, he should think about it like he's breaking one habit and forming a new one; he just needs more time is all. But he also needs to feel comfortable taking that time (which is how this gets resolved—not with him explicitly saying, "I'm afraid you're going to resent me because I'm struggling with this thing I don't even want to struggle with," but with them reaffirming that they are on this path together and that they still love one another).

AND IT IS MY HOPE that even if you hadn't read that part about the backstory I had in mind, you still got the impression that they were being so careful for a reason (especially with Lyn mentioning his integrity; if she's the one pushing him against a wall to kiss him, it makes it much harder to place blame on Kent) and now that they are finally out of that situation he's just not adapting as quickly to this "new normal" as he wants and he struggles with this.

ANYWAY...

The original version of this story was pretty bare-bones "This is your last chance to change your mind" kind of a story, and while that wasn't a bad approach, I felt like skewing this one a little more toward that original "slice of life" prompt where it feels like there's a story going on and a history that we're not fully privy to. This is a handful of moments in time for these characters where they tackle their fears and communicate a little and come out the other side a bit better for it.

Oh, and angst. The original was marked as "angst/romance" as well, but I felt like I should lean into it a bit more, here, because both of these characters are pretty vulnerable right now.

In the original Lyn just kind of asks him if he's okay out of nowhere, but I wanted it to feel like she had a reason to ask it, here—especially after everything they've been through. Kent's hesitation and the way he doesn't answer her question ("For what?") tell her he's struggling, and this digs at her own insecurities (which we do understand a little, through Kent's eyes).

Anyway, it wasn't my intention to over-explain this story to anyone. I'm just really excited that I deviated so far from the original while still managing to write what I hope is a much more solid story.

Tiny bits of the original remain, but so much of this is new, and I think the biggest change I made was not just in the backstory I crafted to build this story from, but also in the echo of their supports, in him realizing that even though he's been showing her his heart hasn't changed through all those difficult years that they waited for one another, that now that they're free of the castle and he's only beholden to her—that she probably needs to hear it from him, too. Not just that this is what he wants, but that he is here because he loves her.

--

If you read this far, I hope you enjoyed the story and the notes! I have zero intention of writing that backstory out as a real story but if a bunch of people express interest, well...you never know. (I'm easily persuaded...what can I say?)

Thanks for reading!

[b1asho]

So sorry for the spam!! I saw your post about the Rosettians and went a bit silly scrolling through your page 😭😭 I love your work!!

Two questions: is there a place I can read more about your story, and do you allow people to make characters of your species?

Also, where do you get inspiration / info for your work if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve been wanting to make my own xenofiction/alien story and I’d love to hear any tips you have!!

Thank you and have a lovely morning/evening/night!

Alas, other than deviantart, I don't have anywhere else I post art or anything (everything there is a mess, but i do have a lot more posts and usually writing on those posts if you want to know more before i get around to bringing it over here) (https://www.deviantart.com/blasho)

I love when people do characters and stuff from my world! (Just make sure you say it's mine, etc etc ) Tag me in anything you make, I really like seeing it

I get information and inspiration from here on earth, of course!!

It wasnt on purpsoe, but i got my start watching just a Lot of nature documentaries, it's an easy way to absorb a lot of the basics and get to see how actual organisms move and learn all the weird stuff they do, all the weird stuff that they evolved to survive in their habitat, and in general get stuff in the back of your mind you can use to make your own stuff and add design or behavior characteristics to your guys. For anything in depth....research articles and papers on google? That's what I use

I try and smooth mine over a little and add other stuff to them so they aren't cut and dry Exactly like one animal or another, but its inevitable and also part of the fun that they do look and act a little like animals we're familiar with (or even looklike humans)

I'd also say start reading/watching/etc other scifi, fantasy, etc, even bad ones, it helps get an understanding of what's already out there and can give you some ideas on what you want to have in your own world/how to approach some things in your world (like cultures or how their society works) nonfiction can even help with this in the same way nature documentaries helped me

The rest really depends on what story you want to tell/what aliens you want to have (more realistic would mean a lot more research and puts more limits on what you can do, but working with and around that can be fun XD )

I'd say if you want to turn a mindscape idea into a story, definitely work towards locking down the basics at some point (like how many aliens are you going to have? Whats the tone of the story? Is it a hard scifi or soft scifi? What's each of their general vibe/how can you fit that with their design or culture? Where do they live that gives them that design/where are they living now? That stuff) and build from there

Its easier to start small and just start designing little guys and then refining them along the way (though if you already have specific stuff in mind and are working towards that purpose then this streamlines a bit.)

Thanks for asking!! Hopefully this isn't too long

[arshem]

thank u @archonfurina for the tag + questions! this was a v fun way for me to secretly pass time at work <3

‧₊˚ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ soft ask game ‧₊˚ ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

01. a character you love.

Lee Gyu-Hyuk. i think about him every day. i listen to songs that make me think of him and make lil music videos in my head. he is... what can i even say ㅠㅠ very vague general non-spoiler spoilers, but everyone in Buried Stars Game ™ has their issues and Gyu-Hyuk is no exception, but he works so hard to take care of others and he's so kind and caring IT DRIVES ME CRAZY ACTUALLY hahahaha i am SO normal about him...

02. your favourite food from your culture.

i have been pondering this for days and i just dont know TT i dont want to act like because i'm from the US i have no culture but also it's hard for me to figure out what our cultural foods are. umm i guess i really like pumpkin pie? also pizza my beloved. i know pizza is not exactly an american thing but also. the way we do it is, so. i shall count it. pizza my beloved

03. what your dream apartment / room / house is like.

ooh okay. it's definitely gotten a bit smaller as i've gotten older, but it'd be nice to have more room than i've got now. not to go toooo wild but i'd love a 3 bed 2 bath single level house with a garage/shed and a porch?? with enough room for both me + my partner to have nice pc setups. also barely related but... i want a nice desk so bad 😭 my dad had one that's sitting unused in my mom's house and i dont have room for it at my apartment but it's so nice and sturdy and i journal a ton and would fucking LOVE to have an actually nice space to do it

04. your personal style or aesthetic.

tried thinking about this on my own and could NOT come up with an answer, so i asked my sisters for their input and i got "stinking cute" and "turbo punk with pop overtones" so take those how you will

05. a happy memory.

when i was a teenager, most thursdays i would go to a roller skating rink with a few friends. we'd skate for hours and pester the dj to play marina and the diamonds songs. then afterwards we'd go to the huge 24-hour grocery store across the street and buy ice cream and/or doughnuts and we'd sit in the car eating and talking for hours.

06. your favourite way(s) to spend time.

i am. such a homebody. i like doing all sorts of things but i honestly love just being at home with my partner and playing video games. oh. also i love eating. it is a hobby <3

07. story behind your url / title / quote / description / icon.

cryborgs i believe kinda came from VIXX's "Error" mv, not any type of direct reference, but just the vibe. my blog title is a slightly weirdly translated line from We Best Love, a bl drama that infected my brain for a while in 2021 (i still love it ok im not over it). i never know what to put in my description so i usually just put the media i'm currently watching/playing but also i dont update it so it's almost always wrong 💀 annnnd my icon is my beloved Han Do-Yoon from Buried Stars Game ™...... i love him.....

08. something that comforts you or brings you joy.

i dont watch it regularly anymore, but Running Man. regardless of what bad things are going on, i know i can turn on an old ep and be happy for 1.3 hours. it's gotten me through so much school stress, family issues, and general mental unwellness, it'll always have a place in my heart.

09. what you're looking forward to.

i started writing this a week ago and the thing i was looking forward to already passed soo um,. i really don't have anything too notable right now? i am looking forward to being done with my 6pm meeting -_-

10. something else that's important to you.

hmmmmmm i have this brain problem where sometimes i get pedantic about the meaning of words so right now i am like, "important" ?? what is it,,,, for somethign to be "important" .... anyways i think journaling is something that probably fits the bill? it's something i enjoy doing and i really like having a written record of things to look back on, and being able to see how i felt about things in the moment they were happening. i also journal about video games a lot and it's so fun to look back at the times Before big twists and reveals... ah my innocence...

[mikkeneko]

For choose violence ask game: 6, 12, 21, 24 (I was thinking mdzs but if you prefer to do them for another fandom go for it!)

Lots of options! Starting from the top!

6. which ship fans are the most annoying? ... for SVSSS.

I considered this for MDZS, but nothing really fit the bill. Other people doing this meme have named some subsets of WangXian stans, and while I can see the frustration, my OTP is also WangXian so those don't usually annoy me personally. XiYao and other 3Zun combos don't impinge on my enjoyment any, various F/F shippers are fine, juniors shippers bounce right off me... there are some specific types of character stans that annoy me but not so much ship fans.

However, I'd say that there is a specific subset of ship fans in SVSSS that do annoy the heck out of me -- LiuJiu shippers who seem to have decided that Shen Jiu is the actual one true hero of SVSSS and Liu Qingge is the one sole, shining source of reason who Understood Him (what?) and every other character is a horrible monster for doing him dirty. This character assassination starts at Luo Binghe (okay fair) extends to Shen Yuan (he didn't even get there until SJ was dead!) and Yue Qingyuan (c'mon, really?) and around the point where the ship thesis was explaining how Mu Qingfang was actually a horrible monster who denied medical care to all the disciples on Qing Jing Peak out of unfounded malicious spite against Shen Jiu, I was turned off this particular mindset quite permanently.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them... also for SVSSS

I dunno that I've got one of these. I think I don't tend to get into fandoms where the characters I like are broadly unpopular. There are characters who are divisive, but they tend to have fervent defenders as well as detractors (Anders from DA, Jiang Cheng from MDZS.) And characters that are broadly unpopular, well, I don't usually like them much either.

How about Zhuzhi-lang? I like Zhuzhi-lang. I don't know that he's unpopular so much that generally just doesn't seem to get much attention overall. Same for Tianlang-jun, maybe. Anyway what I like about ZZL specifically is that particular combination of sweet, good-hearted nature and absolutely blue and orange morality. You showed kindness to me and I love you! Now I will repay you by completely ruining your life. This step is completely logical and I can't see how anyone else wouldn't get it.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped... for MDZS

Guanyin Temple. I will not elaborate.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse... for MDZS

Absolutely everything relating to the Jiang family dysfunction. You can get takes in a spectrum running from "Yu Ziyuan was right to treat Wei Wuxian as she did because he was a bad seed and it doesn't count as abuse because it was normal for the setting" to "suggesting there's any kind of complex dynamics at play or that any of the people involved are any more complicated than a 2d papercut monster is abuse apologism" to "Jiang Cheng should simply have Understood that everything his parents and culture taught him was completely wrong, on his own, in a vacuum, as a teenager" to "Jiang Yanli should have made her parents stop being abusive, this is a reasonable thing to expect a teenager girl to accomplish" and they are all very bad

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

[izzyspussy]

Hiya Jack! For the OTP ask, Roy/Jamie/Keeley and 22, 56 and 58. If three is too greedy, pick and choose as you see fit. Please and thank you. <3

What reminds each of their partner?

Roy and Jamie will never tell each other but they are both genuinely reminded of each other by actual muppets. The reason they won't tell each other is not because they don't want to be insulting (they do want to be insulting) but because they feel sentimental about it lmfaooo. Jamie will see Sam Eagle or Oscar the Grouch somewhere and get misty eyed alsfjksk. For Roy is pretty much any fucking muppet 'cause he's the one who said it, but most particularly Rowlf and Janis. These two are also reminded of each other by certain shades of blue. Keeley is reminded of her boys by Richmond colors, by the brand Jamie's always wearing, by anything all-black that isn't usually black, and by basically any football stuff. She also has "their song" for each one of them and them as a throuple. (I don't listen to the kind of music she listens to, so I don't have specific songs to tell you.) She also really loves both of their accents and she thinks of them whenever she hears someone speak like them. Roy is reminded of both Keeley and Jamie (and Phoebe) by the color pink. He's reminded of Jamie by his own various Three Lions stuff, now lol. He's reminded of Keeley when he cooks or reads (the latter reminds him of Phoebe too). He's reminded of Keeley any time he takes a moment to fucking chill out and appreciate his surroundings. He's reminded of her (and now Phoebe too lmao) by the music Keeley listens to. He's not really that much of a music guy himself, so whatever music he does know will remind him of one of them tbh, since they're both passionate about what they like. He's reminded of Keeley by his own shitty handwriting lmfao. Listen. He's always thinking about them. Jamie is reminded of Keeley whenever he's doing something or behaving in a way he feels is responsible/kind/mature. He doesn't exactly credit her for him doing that, he knows he's the one who's accountable for his actions both bad and good, but she was the first person (other than his mom) who ever had any expectation of him to be "good" or belief that he could be, and that was a really important thing for him! He also thinks of her any time he's enjoying something he thinks is fancy or, like, sophisticated or "cultured" or whatever (like plays, etc). He also has a "their song" for her (not for Roy, their "song" is football wlkjrlkskf), and they had a sort of battle of the bands once where they blew out the speakers of Jamie's surround sound stereo and also Roy's patience, so the songs the two of them used for that remind him of her too.

What do they do turn the other on/put them in the mood?

Well, Jamie is RoyKeeley's little sexbot puppy, so they can pretty much turn him on just by telling him to be alsfjkkw. In particular though, he gets really weak kneed and easy by being petted/caressed, praised with that certain tone, or made to feel special in some way - nice individualized attention from Roy, being compared favorably to someone (other than Roy), an elaborate date or gesture, etc. These things give him a sort of "time to make love" kind of arousal. He wants more of the intimate/special feeling and he wants to make them feel as good as he does, and some very sweet sex is a great way to do that. For a more "time to fuck" type of arousal, Jamie can always be reliably worked up by a little roughhousing or pets/caresses that are particularly possessive (grabbing his throat or patting his ass or circling his wrists, etc, regardless of if it's rough or gentle). Being sexually teased/denied/having to watch (even just Roy and Keeley kissing if he can't join them for whatever reason) will also get him this type of aroused. And also of course winning a match, but that's not really something either of them do (although Roy will claim credit for it sometimes lol). The two most sure-fire ways for Jamie to turn one of them on are opposites qljisk. He can be an absolute brat and make them want to put him in his place, or he can be incredibly sweet and submissive and make them want to make use of that. When he's preemptively submissive, Roy always wants to test him, see how much he can make Jamie do for him, and he likes to assign him tasks that aren't necessarily explicitly sexual as a sort of tease for both of them. Keeley doesn't really see the appeal of that, her sex is generally much less convoluted than theirs lmfao. When Jamie's sweet she wants to reward him. Jamie also really good at putting very specific inflections into his patterns of speech, so he can turn a completely mundane phrase into something fucking filthy through tone alone and then say it normally later to be an unconscionable tease in public lmao. He can also rev Roy up by making him jealous. This one doesn't work on Keeley, for obvious reasons.

Who’s more likely to hold a grudge after an argument?

I actually don't think any of them really hold grudges, at least not against each other or about real arguments. Like, Roy has a grudge against Carragher, and he held his grudge against Trent for forever, but those are from an apparent mutual dislike and a distant devastating insult respectively. Having an argument or even full on fight with someone you have a personal relationship with is something totally different from those. I also think all three of them have tempers, but they are also all three fully cognizant of those tempers and take deliberate steps to control them or at least mitigate their effects. This is especially true for Jamie and Roy, who are both very scared of hurting people they love. Keeley holds the same type of grudge that Roy does, against strangers or near strangers or acquaintances or whatever that she'll hold onto for foreeeeeever, but she's extremely quick to forgive someone she cares about no matter how dramatic her anger was when her temper snapped with them. All it really takes for any of them is an open discussion of what upset them and a genuine, self-aware apology to get them past things. The only time they'll hold "grudges" with each other is over stuff that doesn't actually matter. Like if one of them eats someone else's special snack, or jokingly insults a musician they like, etc.

OTP Asks

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Uh, hello.

I'm very new to tumblr, and i'm not exactly sure how it works.

i was wondering if you could give me some basic tumblr rules and etiquette?

like how reblogs and stuff work.

I'm just really worried i'm doing something wrong, and i don't want people to get mad at me for it.

I feel like the number one way I can suggest figuring out the social etiquette of tumblr is just to follow blogs you like and observe how they use the site and just like work from there, that's how I figured out the site when I joined at least. Back when I joined there weren't actually a lot of people joining so there wasn't a lot of guidance but the site's been seeing a lot of user migration the last year or two so there are plenty of posts circling around with like tips on how to use the site and the general culture and such if that's the kind of stuff you're looking for though.

Generally, reblogs are appreciated, especially by artists since it's the best way for their work to reach new people. People will try to claim likes do nothing and so you should always reblog, this is generally a lie. Reblogs do more for artists but its not like it's the end of the world if you don't reblog every post you like that's just some weird moral panic bullshit people get on every once in awhile. Usually if someone doesn't want a post reblogged they'll say it explicitly in the post or tags so that's not something you need to be paranoid about. People talk in the tags on reblogs and original posts. If you're reblogging a text post or art op is probably always gonna be chill with you talking about the post in the tag, in fact that's the more common way here to leave praise for art rather than leaving actual comments.

I keep my reblogs and most of my personal posts on a separate blog but that's like a personal organizational thing I like having my art all easily accessible in the same place. If you're a content creator of some kind it's totally chill to have all of your personal work and all of your reblogs on the same blog. Really how much you organize or split up stuff is up to you. Some people have different blogs for every fandom they're in, some people put everything in one place. Some people tag everything thoroughly some people don't tag anything. It's really just up to you what kind of organization you want to have and what stuff you want to keep track of on your blog.

Block people you don't want to interact with. Block tags you don't want to see. Unfollow people whenever where ever for whatever reason and don't feel bad about it. Curate your experience on this site as much as possible. It's one of the best social media sites in terms of personalizing your experience by far and that's something you should absolutely take advantage of. Don't force yourself to engage in discourse you don't care about, don't harass people for anything, don't get pressured into reblogging serious political posts if you don't want to, turn your gaze away from anything you don't want to see. It's the funny fandom site, don't make yourself miserable, curate your space so that it sparks joy.

This is more site function than etiquette but. Tumblr live is a really recent addition to the site, it's stupid, might be a data harvesting scheme, and everyone hates it. No one uses it. There's a place in settings you can turn it off for a week at a time. Everyone does that every week it's a collective in joke basically.

Anyways mostly my point is have fun, curate and organize your space as you see fit, and watch other people to pick up on site etiquette. If anyone else wants to leave tips on this post it's totally welcome. Good luck out there dude o7

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today I'm Gonna Play: Mafia II (Original version)

Almost a decade ago I had a period where I was addicted to Grand Theft Auto's formula for some reason. I played IV but didn't have the proper specs to play V, so I looked for similar games. The Mafia series came up and 2 was the latest at the time, so I got it. It definitely fit the bill although at some point I ended up rage quitting early on. This time I've decided to revisit and finish it.

Because this series gets compared to GTA a lot, I had the impression that this would be GTA-levels of open world. In a way, it is. You can drive around, buy clothes, eat at places etc. But the game is divided into chapters because it places story first. There's not much to explore in the city as it is to just get from one place to another. It's not really a bad thing, as other games have done something similar such as No More Heroes (Although I think that game implemented it in a strange way and wouldn't be worse off if it removed the open world). I wouldn't say that the world is boring either for the most part, the first half of the game really sets a nice ambience despite being set in the 40s during World War II. Driving in the freezing cold with the radio on made me feel a type of nostalgia for a time I never lived in. I love it when games do that. The second half shows a revitilization of the States post-war, with the country going through advancements and a time of peace, which is pretty great too.

The gameplay has a bit of variety going on, unlike GTA's usual methods of ''go to location > shoot people > go to location". Although this is present here, there are a number of stealth segments that condemn violence, mundane tasks that regular people would realistically do, and escorts (which is also present in GTA). It's nice to see this kind of formula be done in a different way. Do I prefer it over GTA? I can't say. Maybe with the right budget and polish this could be more interesting. I don't consume a lot of gangster or mafia media, nor do I know too much about their culture and history, so I don't have any suggestions or improvements, other than wondering if there is a game or series that really tries to be accurate and takes upon the opinions of people that actually live the lifestyle, like the Yakuza series for example.

The story is alright. It's a bit more serious and cast is somewhat interesting, mostly the protagonist Vito and his friend Joe. They really remind me of Niko and Roman from GTA IV. War veterans that end up in the US and are helped by someone close who's a bit of a goof, except Joe is way more likely to stand up for himself and make a good living. It even follows the structure of starting from the bottom and climbing the ladder to the top, which I think is the standard formula for this type of story. If I recall correctly, Scarface and The Godfather also have a similar structure.

As for cons, the controls feel quite clunky in the two most important aspects of the core gameplay: Shooting, and driving. Shooting is a lot better if you use keyboard and mouse, but it's not great on controller. I prefer to play most games on controller these days for better sitting posture and playing too close to the screen. But driving is quite bad in both modes. It seems like open-world games have a hard time figuring out the handling part of driving a vehicle. It's like I'm slipping on soap every time I turn. It doesn't help that I end up accidentally bumping into a car which puts me on a chase if the police is nearby. Other culprits that had this issue were games like Watch_Dogs and Cyberpunk. GTA on the other hand is a hit or miss but has managed to grapple with it fairly with IV and V. Games should really prioritize handling if driving is a major aspect of transportation, otherwise it's a huge frustration.

Additionally, sprinting is a nightmare. Not due to poor controls but rather the camera itself which shakes a lot when you run. I'm not sure if this mechanic has been playtested much but even as someone that doesn't really get motion sickness (I can play the Mirror's Edge games without the reticle) but this made me feel woozy every time I used it. There's no way to turn it off, and unfortunately nobody has made a mod of it either. So my only choices was to just look at the minimap or away from the screen to get to where I want to go.

Another frustrating aspect is that the game has no autosave or even manual save. Rather, it has sparse checkpoint saves that are at least guaranteed to occur after a finished chapter. This is frustrating if I have other commitments I need to get to in real life but cannot drop the game, but luckily I've strategized my time well, plus the game's chapters are typically short too. But I still don't like the idea of not having frequent saves, or at least checkpoint saves.

Some of the dialogue is also a bit iffy, although this is wholly subjective. A number of what's depicted and said towards minorities would not be tolerated today. There are a few instances where a game may use hateful language to depict a historical time, such as Red Dead Redemption 2, and this may be the case here too since it's set in an older time period. But I think it was done a bit excessively, as it gave me the impression that the game really liked to make use of slurs a lot, especially towards one ethnic group due to their presence in the story. RDR 2 on the other hand, did use slurs too but it was done sparingly, and also had a number of characters highly discourage hateful behaviour just to be safe. As much as telling an authentic story is important, video games are more interactive as a medium and can therefore be more influential (especially with how people can be online), so it is something to be a little careful of. I also noticed that the collectibles, which involved nude magazine pictures were more for satisfying typically masculine desires. But regardless, I understand that this game was made in a different time, and it's interesting to see fictional media do different takes on social issues which may conflict with my values from time to time. The developers also seem to acknowledge this as a warning message is apparently displayed in the Definitive Edition.

Overall, this game is nice to go through for those interested in gangs in fiction, or want a shorter and more story focused version of GTA. The frustrating gameplay make me hesitant to try any other entry of the series, but maybe I might change my mind in the future.

[hobbit-in-kuroshitsuji]

Kuroshitcember 2022 Prompt Nr. 25 - Christmas Special 3/3

prompt: Sebastian bears an awful resemblance to someone held near. Pick a character and let them realise this!

You can find all prompts here!

All of these will be uploaded/archived to this blog's Ao3 eventually

📌Because I ended up not being able to participate in quite a lot of prompts lately, I decided to put together a 3 part little story for 23rd, 24th, and 25th of December, each chapter inspired by that day's prompt. I tried incorporating as many characters as I could <3 I hope you enjoy!! I hope I can keep up writing after Christmas though <3 these prompts have been amazing, and it's been so much fun participating <3

Summary: On Christmas Day, the Phantomhives host a special Christmas Dinner. This year, it's even more special than they anticipated... as memories of Vincent flood everyone's minds. CW: kuroshitsuji spoilers (if you don't know about o!ciel and r!ciel, do not read this 3 parter!!), mentions death, suicide, anatomy study, workhouses - please be careful if you are easily triggered by real events that happened in the past. oh, if you don't ship Vincent/Undertaker, please don't send hate <3 it's just a fleeting mention, but still <3

“What…” Sebastian and Ciel stood in the dining room, forty minutes before the annual Christmas Dinner was set to begin.

The decorations that the servants, along with Agni and Prince Soma, had put together were………..

Interesting.

It was all made of paper and glittering glue. Tanaka had tried to show everyone the best way to create Christmas crafts to decorate everything – but the servants weren’t the greatest at following orders.

Amidst well presented art made by Tanaka were some that were… either plain ugly, burned to a crisp, or confusing imitations of Christmas trees.

Sebastian hoped they were Christmas trees, at least…

Oh, and the Undertaker had shown up early to the party, inviting himself to aid in the Christmas crafts to add some “festive skulls” to the decorations – of course, because why not?

Prince Soma had also taken it upon himself to change the way the table had been carefully prepared by Mey-Rin, removing all chairs for everyone to sit on cushions on the floor, and removing the “confusing amounts of cutlery”. How Prince Soma had managed to find a low enough table that housed over 14 people, no one knew. Not even Agni.

“He looks positively pale. That means we succeeded in what dear Finnian called the ‘wow’ factor,” the Undertaker said with an air of sarcasm only Ciel and Sebastian seemed to pick up on. The glares they sent his way only made the Undertaker fall into a fit of laughter.

“My lord, I will immediately change–“

“Don’t.” Ciel interrupted his butler. He sighed. “Despite what I might think of the decorations… it does incorporate the culture and personalities of everyone at the estate including the varieties of guests we’re serving. Christmas doesn’t belong to aesthetics. It belongs to the people. Just leave it. Spend the time double checking the food is… up to standards though. I’m starving.” Ciel turned to leave, but paused to add a quick: “Focus on the desert, actually.”

Sebastian sighed. This Christmas was definitely not running the smooth, traditional way it usually did. Then again, what else did he really expect at the Phantomhive estate?

“I think he liked our decorations,” Finny whispered to the others with glee.

Shaking his head, Sebastian left them to their joy to double check Agni had saved the food.

…

“He acts awfully fatherly, doesn’t he?” Ronald pointed out. He and his red dressed reaper partner were on their way to give William the… (sort of) bad news.

The holidays were a time when reapers had to work overtime. For a full 24 hours, they had to deal with suicides (this was not on Ronald’s pay-roll, only certain reapers were allowed to handle these), murders, starvations, people freezing to death, and other freak accidents (a lot of people die from candles, surprisingly)… Normally, there was a night shift. But with the added family drama humans often brought to the holidays, the night shift also had to work 24 hours alongside the day shift.

“Who?” Grelle asked.

With three more hours to go, things were starting to calm down. When Ronald and Grelle walked through the office, people weren’t running around with papers and bloody scythes anymore. People were starting to clean up instead, or slumping down in their chairs with a hot beverage to calm down.

Ronald pitied the reapers that had to take first shift in the morning after all these hours – but this was the life of a reaper. They had to suck it up.

“That demon of his. Of Phantomhive’s.”

“If you ask me, it only shows what good potentials he would have as a husband,” Grelle said simply, smirking.

“You want children?”

“If they’re mine I wouldn’t quite hate them so much,” Grelle scolded. “If they were mine, they would have impeccable taste and not shout so much. Obviously.”

Shaking his head at Grelle’s words, Ronald refrained from commenting on it. Truth be told, Ronald could see her being quite a good mother. There was empathy and gentleness hidden away behind a façade of craziness.

Though… that was not what either reaper should be focused on anyway, because they had just reached William T. Spears’ office door. Preparing themselves for the scolding of a life time, they opened the door to find their supervisor hunched over his table, paper everywhere from table to floor to even one stuck on the ceiling, and with his hair a complete mess. The long shift had taken a toll on him too, it seemed.

Which most likely only meant the scolding was going to be ten times worse.

“Ehm…” Grelle pushed Ronald ahead, forcing him to take point on the bad news. “Mister Spears, sir. We uh… We just came back from London-“

“Yes?” William snapped, lifting his gaze from piles of papers to try and locate a report in Ronald’s hands. Upon not seeing one, his eyes narrowed into anger which was dangerously murderous.

“Uh – Well, you see… Those uh, workhouse children you asked us to reap?”

“Yes?” Despite only speaking so few words, it was crystal clear what William still meant. Honestly, it was a gift that he could portray so much with just the inclination of tone… and glares…

Hurry it up, Knox, I have work to finish.

“Uh, we didn’t get their souls. The demon – Sebastian Michaelis – got in the way… We did, however, get some other souls that took their place if that’s-“

“What?” William straightened up behind his desk. “What do you mean he interfered? We- We would have known if he was going to! Those children were set for death, we were not told of any inclinations of possible fate twisting changes-”

Standing up, William began rummaging through the mess on his desk, lifting papers, throwing some to the floor even, to try and find what he was looking for.

It was madness, really. William T. Spears was never disorganised.

“William, darling,” Grelle piped up, stepping up beside Ronald with a less crazy look in her eyes than she usually had around Will. “Have you allowed yourself even a second’s break?”

“What does that have to do with the – There,” William found what he was looking for, apparently, and lifted one folder for him to read through. “Six souls, aged between 6 and 10…”

Then it got quiet.

“They’re not deceased?” William asked again for clarification.

“No, sir.”

“None of them?”

“None.”

William flopped back down into his chair, folder falling to the floor as he let out such an exhausted sigh that it looked like he had given up on life – again.

“It’s not in the report. Which means Sebastian acted upon a nature which was not predicted by fate, which indicates it even goes against demon nature… Those are four separate reports for me to fill in after work, not to mention the two reports I will have to write taking your statements, then write up a full conclusion of my own investigation as I go down there-“

“William,” Grelle interrupted. “That’s impossible for you to do all alone after this shift.” She walked up to him, noting he was still listing reports and documents he needed to take care of because of this one incident under his breath, not listening to her.

He was beyond exhausted. He was getting delirious.

“William…”

“No, you cannot help. There is a Christmas dinner being served for all who have participated in this long shift.” The words ‘you both should go, I’ll handle this’ were not said, but it was heavily implied.

“William, darling, you do so much for us all…” Grelle tried with a frown, earning nothing more but a shake of his head. Approaching him, she sat down on the arm rest of his office chair, wrapping herself around him, arm around his shoulders. William didn’t budge, not even leaning away from her to try and recover some personal space.

It was both an act of affection from Grelle, and her making good use of this version of William so she could have some intimacy… But it was mainly a testament to William’s exhaustion. If William had been feeling alright, he would have pushed further, moved away from Grelle’s attempts to let her help him.

“How about, we give you a break not for you, but for someone else?” That sentence was entirely confusing, even for Ronald. Both male reapers glanced at Grelle in confusion. Gently, she brushed some stray strands of hair away from William’s face, an act normally not needed should the supervisor be feeling like himself. “If you can’t take a break for yourself, then take a break for someone else…” That didn’t clarify it either. “Besides, you have to go there anyway to investigate the premises and search for that demon.”

…

Apologising profusely, Mey-Rin wobbled up the ladder. Her glasses were fogging up from the sheer anxiety… But she soon calmed down when Agni remained gently smiling at her, doing nothing more but climb the second ladder to assist her.

The entrance hall to the Phantomhive Manor was huge. Literally. It was a testament to the wealth of the Phantomhives, and a testament to the dramatic flair of a certain demon who had “helped” rebuild it.

Of course, the servants and everyone else didn’t know about the latter part.

Its grandness meant that the walls were extremely tall, perfect for fitting large portraits of long lost family relatives onto it; watching over the going-ons in what used to be their domain.

One such portrait was that of Earl Vincent Phantomhive, the previous head of the family before Ciel.

“Sorry to disturb you, sir,” Mey-Rin whispered to the portrait. “Twas all my fault, I’m too clumsy.”

In harmony, Agni and Mey-Rin lifted the long line of tinsel up and stuffed it back behind the top corners of the portrait. Around the entire hall, Christmas decorations were put up high up to create a flair of glistening beauty as a welcome to the guests. Mey-Rin had… somehow… tripped and let one plate fly up into the air, only for it to bring the decorations down with it.

Agni had been present, catching Mey-Rin before she fell face first onto the floor, before then proceeding to help her fix the decorations.

“There we are,” Agni calmly said, “all fixed again, and no one will ever know anything even occurred here.”

Yet, despite being done, both stayed up on the ladders, staring at the portrait. It was immaculately done, with details only the finest of artist, or closest of friend, would have known existed on Vincent’s face.

“He looked like a kind gentleman,” Agni eventually said. His voice echoed against the walls, but no one paid it any attention. All guests were currently in the dining hall, enjoying the peculiar decorations, the fine food and each other’s company. Even Ciel had been seen cracking a smile from time to time when Elizabeth said something – that in and of itself was a Christmas Miracle, truly.

“I wish I could have known him… I bet it woulda gladdened the Earl plenty if someone could tell stories about his dad,” Mey-Rin pondered.

“Tanaka could, no?”

“Tanaka does, but… There’s something between the two of them. I can’t tell what, but sometimes it feels like Tanaka doesn’t want to remind Ciel of the past, even the good stuff.”

“It can be painful sometimes… To know the good will never come back.” Agni sighed. “I see it in my prince’s eyes sometimes. He does not want to go back home, but he does miss it… I know he does.”

“But there’s new good things here,” Mey-Rin said.

“Yes.” Agni smiled at that, offering an appreciative smile toward the maid. “And that is the case for your master too.” Slowly, the two started heading down the ladder again. “I heard he spent the afternoon helping the poor.”

“Yes he did indeed, sir. My master is the kindest. He took us all in too, even if we were… not exactly the best of servants.” Done on the marble floor once more, the two continued to stare up at the portrait. “I wish he could have something other than a portrait of the good times, I do.”

“He has a great Khansama. Actually…” Both servants suddenly cocked their heads to the side, realisation hitting them both. “His Khansama looks a little like…”

“Yes,” a third voice said, “so you’ve noticed it too?”

…

“That was mighty kind of you, sir,” Ronald praised, stuffing his mouth full with leftover stuffing.

“You are meant to eat that with the turkey – Oh why do I bother? You’re going to do whatever you want anyway,” William sighed, rolling his eyes.

He, Grelle and Ronald were perched atop the church roof once more. Down below them, Christmas carols were being sung by a choir, their voices a beautiful background to a Christmas morning sunset. Across the road, the workhouse stirred with laughter, cheers and prays of gratitude. Not only had the children been offered toys that day, but the children had also been given a mysterious feast of Christmas food – prepared, unknowingly to them, by the reapers who had wrongfully predicted their deaths.

Sitting atop foldable beach chairs, the reapers took in the sight of their charity as kids rushed around sharing the food amongst each other; food they otherwise would have never gotten, not even a goose to share between them.

“It wasn’t my idea, Knox,” William corrected. “Though I suppose no one will ever believe it if we said Sutcliff offered up a luxury of hers.”

“Hey,” Grelle commented with offense, “I can be nice sometimes. Besides, you really needed a break from working with the dead.”

“That’s… awfully insightful of you,” William said in surprise. In his hands, he held a plate of food he was enjoying at the end of their shift. His held more turkey than the others. He’d been forced to have more turkey on his as he had made a simple comment that he enjoyed turkey – apparently, hearing William say he ‘enjoyed’ something was seen as a Christmas Miracle, which then urged Ronald and Grelle to fill his plate with turkey.

“I take offense to the fact you sound so surprised.”

“And I am surprised Miss Sutcliff isn’t throwing a tantrum over all these offenses thrown her way,” Ronald teased. “’Tis a Christmas Miracle!”

Ronald’s last words were said in unison with one of the kids rushing outside to throw themselves into the snow, creating a little snow angel out of glee to have new toys and food all within the span of 12 hours.

All three reapers – yes, even William – chuckled at that.

Sometimes, working with the dead meant little appreciation was offered to the living. All they saw was the suffering toward the end, moving past the good they saw in the cinematic records like it was nothing, but always taking note of the bad. The good… was easy to forget, and easy to set aside when in reality that should be what people focused on the most. Successfully eating three meals a day, successfully brushing one’s teeth, seeing a puppy on the street, having access to one’s favourite books, being able to go for a walk, laughing with friends – or, in this case, sharing Christmas dinner on the roof of a church whilst enjoying the merriment of happy children being fed by luxuries no one on Earth had (William was going to get in trouble for this, but for now… he didn’t worry about it).

As shifts ended, other reapers joined them too. It wouldn’t become a tradition, but it was a pleasant way of spending Christmas morning together as a found family in the afterlife.

…

“Yes,” a third voice said, “so you’ve noticed it too?”

The Undertaker had been taking a break from the merriment of nobles. He didn’t mind it so much, really, he was used to accompanying the Phantomhives at holidays. It was just… a lot, and a lot of colour and a lot of jokes that only made half sense to him as a being who knew the intricacies of the universe.

It got tiring to dumb it down sometimes.

Besides… lately… these holidays had been a tad more difficult for him. It used to be that Vincent sat at the head of that table, Rachel by his side and twins running around the table until they were told off by Madam Red. It used to be that the Undertaker sat on one end of the table, next to Vincent, whilst Rachel sat opposite him on the other side of Vincent.

It used to be that Vincent would hold both their hands under the table, offering glittering, appreciative glances to both as they secretly celebrated a shared holiday as a family bigger than the onlookers thought it was.

It used to be…

But it wasn’t no more.

Now, a child pretending to be another child sat at the head of the table, with the Undertaker far away… watching as a demon who had stolen the looks of his beloved tended to the butler duties and whispered in the young lord’s ear. It was suffocating to know more than even demon and master…

But it was also pleasant to be reminded of the old days, in a sad sort of way. And it was pleasant to be reminded of what he was attempting to change… what he was trying to accomplish…

So when he had walked back to the bathroom and heard the maid and prince’s butler talk about Vincent, the Undertaker had stayed in the shadows to listen in. He couldn’t quite help it.

Nor could he help but butt in once they realised a truth he so desperately wanted others to realise too.

Why did the demon choose a father’s face if demons could not care for humans?

“Yes, so you’ve noticed it too?” Mey-Rin and Agni spun around so quickly that the Undertaker simply had to cover his lips with oversized sleeves as he let out a giggle. “The face of a dead father returns in the shape of a black butler, mimicking the human like a raven found at cemeteries, picking at the dead… waiting to pounce…”

“I… sir?” Agni voiced as Mey-Rin was too scared to ask anything at all.

This particular guest was always an enigma to all. He helped the young lord, yet he also… was curious. Scary, sometimes. As if he was an antagonist waiting to show his true colours.

“teeeheee – look at your faces,” the Undertaker giggled. “Did I fool you? Vincent was a great friend of mine. If you want to know anything ever all you have to do is call on me. I aid not just the dead.” The Undertaker was beginning to walk away, when Agni stopped him with his words.

“Sir? Do you think Earl Ciel chose Sebastian as his Khansama because he felt… that the familiar face was comforting?”

The Undertaker dramatically turned around in a slow gesture, tilted his head to the side and offered a tooth revealing grin as he said: “Oh no, I think it was the exact opposite. Those with dark hearts are not meant to become attached, but I think something in the past of our beloved hell of a butler changed the man to want the child to choose him as his most trusted protector. Like a father. I think the man chose the son.” The Undertaker grinned at their confusion. “But then again, I’m just a crazy fool speaking far too many truths. I should return to the feast.”

Indeed… the Undertaker had a feeling that the face was chosen purposefully, so Ciel would feel calm around that which was a demon of hell, meant to scare kids. Whatever past the demon held had meant that the demon understood how a child’s mind works… It knew Ciel needed a father figure to help feel comfortable as he exacted revenge. To keep motivated.

And to feel safe.

…

“I don’t mean to speak ill of the master’s guests but… What a strange man,” Mey-Rin pointed out.

Agni quietly nodded his head, not wanting to speak ill of anyone either. “Let’s return to our work. The feast will be over soon.”

…

“Sebastian?”

The demon paused in the doorway. Room dark from the night. The only light source was the candle held by Sebastian, and the moon shining brightly outside. The child barely saw Sebastian. But the demon saw him as he turned to look.

It had been a long day, and Ciel was exhausted, his breathing even a little ragged from poor health making him even more easily tired.

“Yes, my lord?”

“If Timothy wanted you to be his father, how could you… take his soul?”

The question struck deep within the demon, eyes turning red. Enough about Timmy, already. His master really needed to learn to let go of the past – then again, if Sebastian started teaching Ciel that, his work to get Ciel’s vengeful soul to perfection would fail.

“In truth, my lord, I found ways to extend the contract. I am not proud of it, but I did. It was… a confusing couple of years.” Staying in the doorway, Sebastian only felt comfortable admitting this because of the distance between them, and the fact that Ciel’s question had come out slurred, indicating the boy was half asleep and might not remember this. “And it was not easy to take the child’s soul. Nor will it be this time.”

There was no reply. Sebastian assumed Ciel had gone to sleep and left the bedroom, locking the door behind him.

Left alone in the darkness, Ciel, quietly, pondered those words. The face of his father had spoken those words… It felt… Strange. Oddly comforting.

When Christmas Day ended, Ciel fell asleep with a peaceful smile on his lips…

__

taglist: @eemoo1o-animoo

[salmonellaandcheese]

Tag Game To Better Know You!

Tagged by the lovely and talented @lady--lisa (So sorry for taking so long! I didn't forget! I just couldn't figure out a way to copy all the questions easily on mobile)

If you saw the first version of this no u didnt

What book are you currently reading?

I'm halfway through Anne of Avolea by L.M Montgomery and a few chapters into the Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett. I really should read more, I used to devour books back when I was a kid, but the library I volunteer at is based on community requests so its almost entirely formulaic ghostwritten thrillers (curse you James Pattison). If anyone has book recommendations let me know!

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

I think the only movie I saw was the new Top Gun, which I only watched because my mum loves the original and we went for her birthday. I wouldn't say its fantastic, but I did end up infodumping to my friends about propaganda and pop culture.

What do you usually wear?

Usually loose jeans or other sturdy pants and some variety of print t-shirt with my red flannel. Anxiety kind of made it into my uni uniform, I never thought I'd miss my high school uniform that much. When I'm at home I'm usually wearing shorts and an old singlet that I got in grade 8 or something. Winter means I get to wear big jumpers! I have this horrifically ugly one on it that says New Zealand with a red kiwi on it, I adore it. If I'm reaching out of my miniscule comfort zone I'll wear a funky button up or a more form fitting shirt, I've always dressed quite modestly (although not entirely by choice) and this year I cut my hair off and started to explore my masculinity and being openly and visibly queer. I pretty much only wear natural fibres and very practial/sensory friendly clothing, so most of my clothes are made to last and will be repaired until I deign them unwearable.

Fun fact, I used to actually dress in a style I'd say is somewhere between classic lolita and cottagecore, lots of pinafores and frilly shirts and ribbons. Next year I'd like to step out of my comfort zone and dress in any way that sparks joy, maybe experiment with makeup, different styles or more revealing clothing (ooh a shoulder, scandalous).

How tall are you?

I'm actually not quite sure, between 165cm and 170cm I think (5'5" to 5'7")

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Gemini

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

I introduce myself with my name but with hopes that I'll get a nickname, I've always wanted one.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I'm still in uni but by a technicality yes? I wanted to be a scientist but came to dislike science in high school, but now I'm doing archeology (and history) through an arts degree but I could do it through a science degree. I did really enjoy digging in the dirt as a child, so I think little me would be happy about that, even if i was more into paleontology.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

No. I do have a bit of a crush on my best friend, who I turned down a year ago because I'm the stupidest person alive and can't tell the difference between friendship feelings and romantic feelings.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I'm good with precision and detail orientated things. I love knitting and I've picked up archery and bread making recently. Its actually why I got into archaeology, I wanted to work in restoration and conservation.

I'm bad at remembering to do stuff. It's the ADHD man. Assessments? whoops. Consistent meals? Forgot. Cleaning? sorry not happening

Dogs or cats?

Dogs, I've never had a cat and don't really know how they work.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

I knitted my best friend some lovely socks, they're my first pair of socks and my second time doing fair isle.

What’s something you would like to create content for?

Look I know this means fandom but I have to start planning for what I'm putting in the show next year, it's only 6 months away. I'd love to do some more sewing, maybe make a gunne sax style dress (provided my anxiety will let me wear it out of the house) and I want to find something technically challenging for knitting, maybe lacework? Send me knitting/crafting inspo. I was thinking of maybe picking up counted thread embroidery too (yes I hate myself).

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Star Wars. I've got brain worms about it. I've been microwaving it for months. Its been on my mind constantly, yet I have no thoughts. I'm forcing all of my friends to watch it. I'm rewatching all of it. I know nothing but also everything. I'm being excessively autistic about a background character wearing a cable knit jumper.

Good thing is that it makes conversation with men under 25 incredibly easy. I've made industry connections over a conversation about Lego Star Wars.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Uhhhhhh. My uni's archaeology society? The history society raised my standards high, they do a lot of fun events, whereas the archaeology one is useful but a lot more industry training and connections focused instead of having regular pizza and power-point nights like the history one.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

Hmm. I'm not too sure. I can flip an egg without using anything other than the pan, does that count? Like just wiggle, wiggle, throw it up in the air and catch it.

Are you religious?    

Catholic but in a cool and funky queer way

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A concrete plan of what the hell I'm doing and how to do it. A solution to my joint pain?

Tagging: (only if you want to) @elprupneerg @rights-for-redshirts @doveyluvey @notaghost3 @swagtalia @radioactivehydronerd @hetaari @arthoe-iceland @ratfish-blues and anyone else who sees this is welcome to join in!

[a-study-in-dante]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Thank you @lithugraph for the tag, it sounds fun!

What book are you currently reading?

Hu, make it plural. I've been struggling to find time and motivation to read, so I've been blocked at page 75 of Babel by RF Kuang for over a month. Did it stop me from buying and starting Ondaatje's The English Patient yesterday? Not at all.

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I think the only movie I saw in theater this year was... Top Gun: Maverick. It was pretty good but mostly for the Easter eggs of the first movie (I'm weirdly obsessed with it for some reasons).

What do you usually wear?

Jeans, usually in darker shades of blue, and whatever top is appropriate for the season (or not). With Vans sneakers and a trenchcoat.

How tall are you?

168 cm. Or 5'6'' as I recently found out!

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? 

I'm an Aquarius. I know that my birthday is the end date of the Franco-Prussian war of 1870-1 (the weird thing you learn when writing Hetalia fanfics). It apparently also is Tommy Ramone's, Oprah Winfrey's and Adam Lambert's birthdays!

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

Most of my friends call me by a nickname, to the point where it actually feels weird/deadly serious when they use my full name. My family also has a nickname for me, that I used to like but doesn't fit me anymore (because I grew up and when they use it it feels like they still see me as a child). Otherwise, I go by my full name.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Uh I don't even know.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

Not in a relationship, and too many dormant crushes to count or pick one.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

Not that good at picking a thing I'm good at and one thing I'm bad at, apparently

Dogs or cats?

cats!

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

Ah. From Patria I guess? (A Spamano - Hetalia fanfic I picked up recently but has been on and off updated since 2018 on ff.net)

"Revenir à la réalité ne veut pas dire qu’il faut abandonner tout moment de rêve. Je ne serais pas dans la Revolución si je ne croyais pas qu’il y a sa place." (Coming back to reality doesn't mean we need to give up on every piece of dream. I wouldn't have joined the Revolución if I didn't believe dream belonged in it.)

It's cheesy af I know and that tells you a lot about my writing year T-T

What’s something you would like to create content for?

If only I could finally bring myself to write those Bagginshield (The Hobbit- movies) and Stucky (MCU) fanfics T-T

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? 

Since I assume my PhD doesn't count (I'm not that obsessed with it anyway) I guess you could say BBC Merlin (ten years too late I know but ah)

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

men *coughs* It's been a pretty good year actually! I've traveled more than ever before, although being on my own is great, it may not be the most fun way to travel (it definitely has its perks though and I loved it) but summer i.g. july and august did not disappoint in being their usual disappointing selves. Not much happening, mostly working, not doing exciting things as much as I'd have wanted to, etc.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

Drinking lots of coffee with no physical effects whatsoever.

Are you religious?     

No. I was raised as a Christian (baptized and attended catholic school, though for very practical reason - more accessible from my home and better level of education) but by the time I was old enough to have my opinion on it religion was no longer part of my education. I know it's still deeply rooted in the cultures I'm evolving in though, and the history I 'claim' as my own. I admire churches as I do works of art. And I appreciate the religious diversity of the world, and freedom of religion is a value dear to my heart.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A cute lumberjack shirt I saw a few weeks ago but didn't buy because it was expensive huhu and a reading routine!

Tagging (if you're keen!) @linguadesk

@frenchiepal

@marie-curie

@learnelle

@oeuryale-study

No pressure!