#don’t want any inappropriate stuffs on here plz

[puppyie-innit]

when your love language is physical touch but you are extremely ticklish

[fleur-bbyy]

SINFUL SUMMER

it’s the first day of vacation and lucifer already can’t keep his eyes and hands off of you.

𓇼 lucifer x fem reader

𓇼 warnings: unprotected p in v sex, semi-public(?), creampie, reader wears a bikini, reader wears sunscreen for anti-aging purposes (pls wear your sunscreen!!!), sub reader, lil oral fixation if you squint real hard

𓇼 a/n: 1.6k words of my own fantasy. I was gonna post all the summer stuff together but i’m scared I won’t finish it all in time and was too excited for this one lol. also if it wasn’t clear, it’s one of those cabanas that’s covered on all sides and has curtains at the front, they’re in the jockey position lol, and it’s one of those lounge chairs where the back adjusts. (plz forgive me for not being that descriptive i was excited)

As the sun beams off his clothed back and his feet begin to burn from standing in the hot sand, Lucifer comes to a realization.

You are quite literally his worst nightmare.

Pretty in the face and so, so naive to any of his lustful advances. An innocent request for him to help you apply sunscreen to your back should be just that, innocent. It shouldn’t be so daunting or feel so inappropriate for a man as respected as he was. Scanning over your barely-clothed back as you rub the contents of the tube on your arms. His ruby eyes linger far too long on the dangerously thin fabric on your lower half. He wanted to tell you that your bikini left far too little to the imagination, but he shouldn’t have been imagining that anyway.

“You’re laying inside a covered cabana, you don’t need it.”

"Do you expect me to spend the whole day in here?" You turned to look at him, smiling as your hands began to run the spf over your collarbones. "Besides, the sun still reaches me. I don’t want my skin to be saggy and feel like leather when I’m older." Lucifer crosses his arms and mentally eye rolls: You’ve been hanging around Asmo too much. 

"Fine. Finish up everything else and then tell me what you need." You smile once more in victory and continue to cover your front with the lotion. Lucifer stands in the doorway, arms still crossed, a seemingly calm expression resting on his face. His eyes stayed transfixed on your body for the majority of the time, glancing over his shoulder once to see his brothers doing their own thing in the sea and snapping right back over to you as you bent over slightly to reach your legs. Your bikini bottoms riding up even further than before and exposing more of your skin. His eyes widening a bit more when he noticed the outline of your cunt peeking through the fabric, causing the air to feel a bit hotter and his swim trunks to tighten a little more around the crotch.

"Okay, need you now." you said, beginning to lie down on the chair and handing him the tube of sunscreen in the process, his fingers accidentally brushing yours as he grabbed it and he swears you let them linger on purpose. He stood over to the side of you and began to gather the lotion in his hand before you stopped him.

“Don’t be awkward. Sit over my legs.”

Lucifer paused after hearing you voice your request like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He lightly sighed and reluctantly moved to straddle your legs, his half chub barely a few centimeters away from your plump ass. Lucifer contemplated whether you knew what you were doing or not. You had to feel it; there’s no way you didn’t feel it prodding against your thigh as he began to smooth the lotion down your back. holding back a groan when you arched into his touch.

“How exactly does sitting like this help?”

“You’ll reach better. Besides, wouldn’t want you to throw your back out, old man.” You lightly laughed at your own joke and Lucifer rolled his eyes, hands moving to the center of your back. “You’re good at this, should be a masseur.”

He wasn’t able to respond, having to bite the inside of his cheek as you arched even more into him. Your ass dangerously close to his hardening cock. He paused to grab more sunscreen and was about to continue before you stopped him again.

“You missed a spot near my shoulders.”

He slowly leaned forward, relishing in the feeling of his clothed cock finally making contact with your ass but trying to avoid it at the same time. Using his legs to lightly hold himself above you and starting to cover the spot that he missed when he heard a soft moan escape from your lips and your hips push into him even more.

There’s no way you didn’t know what you were doing. There was absolutely no way you didn’t feel his hardened length pressed into you. His hands slowly dragged down your back, stopping at your waist and giving an experimental small roll of his hips into yours, feeling a glorious sensation when you moaned a bit louder. He continued to roll his hips against you, biting back small grunts and groans when you started to meet his thrusts with the roll of your own hips. One of Lucifer’s hands slowly traveling from your waist to the edge of your bikini bottoms, pulling them to the side and shivering at the sight of the strings of your arousal sticking to them. He slowed his hips to get a good look at your soaking cunt and ran his index finger up and down your slit.

“Do you want this?” He asked, fingers running over your sopping entrance and examining the way they shined with your essence. You frantically nodded your head, not trusting yourself to speak without getting too loud. “I need to hear you say it.”

You bit your bottom lip, trying to steady yourself before whispering out a quick "yes." You felt him shuffle behind you and shortly after felt his tip prodding at your entrance. rubbing himself up and down your slit to gather your wetness before he slowly began to sink in. inch by inch with shallow thrusts.

“Ohh fuck.. that’s it. You feel too good.” Your toes curled and pussy gushed at his words. Allowing him to sink even further into you

He was big. Barely half way inside, and you already felt so full of him. grasping at whatever you could and beginning to roll your hips into him once more, eliciting a sharp hiss from the man.

“Need you to open up for me.” His breath was hot on your neck as he leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“Can’t. You’re too big.”

“None of that. You can be good for me.” One of his hands positioned your hips up even more, giving him access to your neglected clit. “She can be good for me too.”

You moan when he begins circling your clit. Feeling your arousal drip down and lubricate his working finger. His thrusts starting to speed up and his free hand tracing up your spine to pull the string holding your bikini top together, giving him full access to your back. Everything coupled together gave your cunt to final push to open up completely. Moaning even louder when he finally pushes all the way in. Your whines and moans crescendoing to the point that Lucifer has to clamp a hand down over your mouth and pray that one of his brother’s didn’t hear anything.

“Naughty thing,” he began, sticking one of his slender fingers into your mouth and grinning when you immediately start to suck, “this is what you wanted the entire time, didn’t you? Wanted to rile me up and fuck you where anybody could walk in and see?”

Beads of sweat begin to gather on both of your faces from the summer’s heat and the intensity of the current activity. Some rolling down Lucifer’s face and landing in small droplets on your back that he lovingly wiped away after removing his fingers from your mouth.

“Are you going to be good and quiet for me?” You didn’t answer. Not trusting yourself to speak and worried you’d let out another loud whine instead.

“That just won’t do,” his thrusts slowed and he pulled his hand back from your aching clit, “answer me.”

“Yes. Yes I’ll be good. I promise.” You said through gritted teeth. Even with his agonizingly slow thrusts, the steady drag of his cock on your walls practically made you shiver. Feeling him hit every ridge as he pulled out and pushed back in.

“Then cum for me. Want to feel you.”

Before you could even try to start fucking yourself on him, he picked up the pace again. Going even faster and harder than before and causing your body to bounce up and down on the lounge chair. The grip on your left side becoming ironclad and his hand once again sneaking to rub expert circles on your clit. His heavy balls knocking his fingers every time he plunged into your heat.

Your orgasm comes soon after with a strangled moan. Burying your face in your hands to try and muffle yourself but to no avail. Lucifer also begins to gradually lose himself as he works you through your pleasure. The clenching and spasming of your cunt around him causes the fingers on your clit to fumble in rhythm and move sloppily. His grunts and groans gradually getting louder and his thrusts speeding up just a tad more before you finally feel that familiar warmth as he spills inside of you. Panting and biting his bottom lip to quiet himself.

The air in the cabana was still thick with sex as the two of you recovered. Finally looking over and noticing that the chair had moved at least a foot away from its original position and your tube of sunscreen had been leaking out onto the sand the entire time. Lucifer carefully pulled out of you and admired how his cum dripped from your pussy. Using two of his fingers to push any that had trickled out back into your spent hole before fixing your bottoms and tying your bikini top back to it’s original position. Finally adjusting himself and getting off of you after making sure you were alright.

“Are you going to stay here?” He asked, his voice quickly returning to its stern nature as he crossed his arms over his chest once again.

“Think so.” You turned your head to look over at him and propped yourself up on your arms, watching as he began to leave to check on the others. “Thank you, by the way.” He stopped in the entryway, glancing over at you with a grin and half-lidded eyes.

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

[espressokiri]

If I could, could I request Class 1-A’s with a water quirk who loves mermaids?

Class 1A x GN!Reader

In which Class 1A deals with a classmate who loves mermaids.

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

a/n: These are so cute to write about plz <3

(Y/n) (L/n) has always had a fascination with what was hidden underneath the ocean, it could be the result of their quirk being related to water or just the child-like wonder never leaving them. Growing up they would watch The Little Mermaid on repeat and sigh dreamily at the thought of having a tail like hers. They learnt how to draw in order to create themselves as a mermaid in fictional form, perhaps they could even send in a similar design for when U.A. asks for hero suit designs. 

That is exactly what happened. Despite not having fins for legs on the regular for their costume, there was a resemblance of flow like material that would glimmer like scales. They also garnered mini seashells strapped around their waist like a belt.

“Pft! What are you? Holder of seashells or something?” Bakugou cackled and (Y/n) glared at him, spraying him with water and directly aiming for his open mouth. 

Bakugou sputtered and coughed out the liquid before attempting to charge at them with his quirk engaged, (Y/n) simply sucked out all the sweat he was generating for his quirk with a flick of their wrist, leaving him useless. “What the hell?!”

“Whoa thats so cool! (Y/n) can basically turn Bakugou quirkless!” Denki clasped his hands in amusement as Kirishima and Sero had to restrain him from physically attacking the water bender.

Midoriya was in the cornering jotting down the useful information about them that he had witnessed.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

“Tsu-chan! Tsu-chan let’s pretend we’re mermaids!” (Y/n) exclaimed as they dragged Asui to the U.A. pool. The girls had rented it out for a day before the training camp and invited (Y/n) along because they all found them adorable, the girls had basically adopted them.

(Y/n) was gifted a swimming tail by Hatsume Mei, who had tinkered with the idea of a mermaid suit for them. Once they put it on as trial, (Y/n) could not stop the joyful tears from flowing as they pulled Mei into a crushing hug, thanking her profusely for making their dream come true.

As of now they finally got to try it on for use. To say it wasn’t hard to maneuver in at first would be a lie, but with the help of Asui they finally got the hang of it and felt like they were on cloud nine.

Breathing under water was not a problem as a water quirk user, it made it all the more real. The water was a safe place and they knew if ever they wanted some time to think, away from the loud noises and to clear their mind in general, the water would welcome them with open arms.

“Wow (Y/n)-chan, you look like a real mermaid!” Hagakure squealed as she watched the tail appear and disappear in the water, “you really do look the part.” Jirou commented, a slight blush at the beauty before her.

“Our precious (Y/n)! Here I thought you couldn’t get any cuter.” Mina huffed, trying to take pictures of the moment. 

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

(Y/n) was at the bottom of the pool in U.A.

They were laying down on the floor of the pool, watching the lights above reflect the water. Fully clothed in their U.A. uniform, as they could just pull the water away from them to dry instantly, with their backpack the only thing on the pools edge.

They were trying to think of a special move to progress in their class, it seemed like there was a mental block preventing them from creating any train of thought for the class. Maybe a nap would help?

A sudden splash into the pool pulled them out their light slumber as a hand gripped their arm and pulled them to the surface, “what the hell?!” (Y/n) exclaimed, pulling themselves away from the perpetrator. “I just saved your ass! Is this the thanks I get?!”

They looked at Bakugou with irritation as they calmed their breathing, “saved me from what exactly?”

“From drowning, dumbass! What were you even thinking?!”

A stagnant silence.

(Y/n) snorted before bursting out into laughter, angering the blonde even further. “You think dying is funny?! Wait till I drown you myself!”

“Bakugou, what’s my quirk?” (Y/n) wheezed, trying to calm themselves down.

“What kind of question is that? Water manipulation, idiot.”

“Exactly.”

They both had a stare-down. (Y/n) with a hand on their mouth to hide the small giggles slipping out and watching Bakugou’s face morph from anger to embarrassment as he realized.

“No one must know of this.”

Cue (Y/n) planning to blackmail him.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Training camp was as tough as Aizawa said it would be. 

The students were worked to the bone, being sucked dry of their youth and filled with soreness and pain from the excessive use of their quirks. To think (Y/n) thought they would have it easier since Aizawa had basically thrown them into the nearby lake to practice water pressure and surface tension.

They tried taking a breather for a minute but a stick would be shoved through the water and whack them on the head for doing so. Aizawa had eyes the eyes of a hawk, despite his constant dry eye, and they felt sorry for whoever ends up being his child.

Once they were sure their teacher had left his focus on them to pay attention to the rest of the class, they decided to close their eyes for a brief second. The peace was soon disrupted.

A shot of white tape wrapped around their waist and they were yanked out of the lake and onto the broad shoulders of Sero. “Look what I caught! A mermaid, huh? You’d sell for a decent price.” He chuckled.

“Only decent? Wow okay, my ego’s been bruised.” (Y/n) scoffed, dangling limply on his shoulder despite feeling their stomach bruise from the impact. “Working on making your tape waterproof?”

“Mhm, and I nailed it!”

“That you did. Now carry me properly to dinner while I nap as punishment for disrupting the one time I got away with sleeping.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

When the Big Three were introduced in class, (Y/n) couldn’t help but gaze with sparkles in their eyes at the indigo haired male with elf-like ears. Oh how they were imagining a fairytale themed photoshoot or outing, which was inappropriate as he was a third year and they doubt he would befriend them after observing his timid and shy nature. 

But a mermaid must not leave an opportunity behind.

“Tamaki-senpai!”

The male froze in his steps, shoulders stiff and posture hunched as he trembled and turned towards the voice. (Y/n) approached him with a grin, hands behind their back as they were fidgeting in place.

“Y-yes?” His gaze was on the floor, avoiding eye contact with the first-year.

Nejire and Mirio had glanced at each other before nodding their head in agreement to eavesdrop on the conversation. 

“I just wanted to say that you look so pretty! Like something out of a fairytale! I love fairytales, especially mermaids and I have a suit with a mermaid’s tail since I have a water quirk and stuff.” (Y/n) glanced at Mirio and Nejire and waved at them cheerfully. 

Tamaki on the other hand had gotten red in the face at the compliment and became a stuttering mess, that’s when Nejire and Mirio decided to jump in, both very happy at the thought of talking to the cheerful student in front of them.

“He’s a bit shy so don’t mind him! You’re so precious! You look like a mermaid too, so gorgeous!” Nejire complimented and pulled at their cheek as (Y/n)’s eyes twinkled at seeing Nejire in a new light.

“H-Hado-senpai, you look like a fairy!” (Y/n) was in awe of how pretty she was, she was literally sparkling. 

Mirio was chuckling in the background, “looks like we’re all like fairytales in one way huh?”

Nejire gasped and clapped her hands together, “a photoshoot dressed like that would be so cute! Don’t you think Mirio?”

“Hado-senpai I was thinking the same!”

[under-the-cherrytree]

Hello may i have a romantic match up plz<3

- [ ] Hi my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz.

- [ ] have like a caramel colored skin-tone and im 5’3. Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair(the ethnic popped off hehe), im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape(but i have super noticeable hip dips) , i got pretty big fucking tittes (not even in a bragging way, im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. I could say i dress kinda “sexual” like i wear tight clothes or i have low neckline but thats kinda what only fits me, but also who gives a fuck.

- [ ] Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

- [ ] Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

- [ ] My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga.

- [ ] My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.

- [ ] Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family

- [ ] I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch

- [ ] I have a couple ideal dates. So the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit.

Hello hello!!!

Sorry for how late this took- a lot of stuff happened-

BUT IM HERE TO DELIVER!!

I match you up with…

Kou Minamoto

- Honestly doesn’t give a damn what you look like- its your personality for him

- He is so respectful of you body and everything

- He will not look at you inappropriately if you don’t give him permission

- Especially after he hears about your past relationships, he wouldn’t be disgusted that someone would only want something sexual from you

- You are perfect and you don’t deserve that

- He is a total gentlemen

- While he does tend to get flushed a lot, he loves physical affection as well

- I can see his love language being personal time and gifts- but please if you two just cuddle it will make him so happy to be spending time with you like this

- He would never find you too clingy

- He might get a bit flushed if you just randomly start hugging him but he doesn’t mind and he will hug back

- Show him your paintings- he would adore them

- I can see him as the type to not stay up that late but if you ever want to nap or sleep in late he is right next to you cuddling you

- If he wakes up before you he will make you breakfast in bed for when you do wake up

- If you do say an inappropriate joke, he would be flushed by your words

- Might try and say an inappropriate joke back to impress you-

- He will talk about how pretty you are all day if he has too

- He loves your body and he thinks its perfect just the way it is

- He also wouldn’t let you get hit on by older guys, he wouldn’t allow it

- He will politely tell them to screw off-

- Yes, screw off. He will never cuss in front of you-

- If you talk to him about marvel, DC, or any manga- he will have his full attention on you during this time

- he is listening to everything you say

- He just loves you so much and he promises to treat you very good!<33

[simpgirlsposts]

Hi may i have a haikyuu match-up please<3

- [ ] Hi my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15. And i would prefer someone not over the age of 19 plz.

- [ ] have like a caramel colored skin-tone and im 5’3 (short king). Rn i have a purple-pink short mullet and i have pretty curly hair(the ethnic popped off hehe), im pretty chubby but i have an hourglass shape, im pretty busty(im a fuckin k cup bro😭) and thicc thighs(thicc thighs save lives, sorry i’ll stop). I dress pretty alternative but i cant just choose one subculture tho, i wear a lot of heavy eye makeup. I could say i dress kinda “showy” but thats kinda what only fits me, but also who gives a fuck.

- [ ] Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

- [ ] Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

- [ ] My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga.

- [ ] My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music.

- [ ] Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family

My description on what i look like is bad so here:

I'd match you with...

Tw.Mention of being s*xualized and p*dos

Iwaizumi Hajime!

He's 18 so he's fine...hopefully-

Now when it comes to type of people I head cannon his types are hot people and your hot sooooo yes-

Now Oikawa is kinda clingy and you're kinda clingy too, so he's good at dealing with clingy people-

But he won't go far as hitting you like he hits shittykawa.He would let you cling onto him whenever you like, he isn't much into PDA just simple holding hands is fine with him.

Oh when you do get s*xualized Iwaizumi might as well throw as many volleyball balls at the guy or practically punch them head on-

Iwaizumi doesn't mind you being social, though he would stick around,and you and Oikawa surprisingly gets along well, but he would stick around and when Oikawa was like “You know Iwa-chan talks ab-”*HIT* Oikawa gets hit by a ball.

When you told Iwaizumi about your medication and how you forget you sometimes, he makes sure you NEVER forget your medication.He wouldn't want it to get worse and he loves you(Much for a tsundere to admit it head on,I mean he would sometimes if he's confident)

He would stop you from hitting yourself and when you say some random stuff he would just listen but would also try to snap you out.

You and Oikawa became besties-

Two hot people as besties

Because of that you would learn more about Iwaizumi and would roast him sometimes for liking Godzilla-

Small cute fistfight when you forget you medication he would sometimes feed it to you if he has too-

You and Iwaizumi sometimes scare Oikawa, especially after he learned that you have a punching bag, Iwaizumi would encourage you to punch it-

Now if a grown adult did hit on you-

Their dead,D E A D! The whole Aoba Johsai volleyball team are hands or decks!Including Iwaizumi and Mad dog!

Now I also have a head cannon that you influenced Iwaizumi to on DC superheroes and Marvels-

While he also influenced you on Godzilla

You and Iwaizumi kinda have the same taste in music so you both would listen together sharing a headsets!

He finds your sarcasm funny,your creativity amusing and your inappropriate jokes at right time also amusing,Oikawa sometimes doesn't get you but you both are besties no doubt.

You and Iwaizumi are basically the balanced type of couple purfect for each other(´ε｀*)

Honestly people who s*xualizes you and use your body are sick like you deserve better than all of your other ex.And grown adult trying to hit on you?!I can't believe grown adults would do such a thing like their old!Old crusty musty p*dos!

I hope you had the best day!

[pfreadsandwrites]

Kakashi NSFW Alphabet

18+ CONTENT AHEAD - NO MINORS - ANY MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED

Okay, attempt 2 - That’ll teach me to try ever posting from the mobile app. This is a rewrite from scratch and I’m way too tired to reread and see if it makes sense or if there are typos, it’s probably not a good thing this is longer than the original though.

No one asked for this, no one at all, and I know everyone’s done these but hey, it’s Kinktober, and you can never have too many Kakashi headcanons, right? Right? Right. I hope you enjoy these!! Goes without saying that these’ll be smutty. It’s also about 6.4k words. There is some real filth ahead, very nsfw, seriously, the thirst is so real. (I hate myself), so, this is 18+ only!

Also, I'm tagging @allthingskakashi​ because she asked me to (i really hope these aren’t disappointing)

Side note: This is all written from the view of an established relationship. I can kinda remember most of what I said, so these will be still be very long despite being a rewrite from scratch. Apologies for any rambles and tangents I might go on, since I was rewriting this, my brain got weird and tired, but I wanna take you through my thoughts. I’m also very concerned about keeping things in character and not self-indulgent/self-projecting of what the writer’s personally into so I won’t be doing that here... You’ll see what I mean as I go on. But I still wanna make it hot so i’ll try lol. I’m new to writing but I’m even newer to writing dirty stuff so i’ll try my best. And with this post goes my dignity

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Straight after sex is one of the rare times where Kakashi feels completely at ease and relaxed. He’s pensive, often quietly mulling over what you two have just been doing and trying to come to grips with it, his hands gently running through your hair or along your back. He’s probably at his most affectionate here too. Expect gentle, lazy caresses, little kisses here and there, soft, easy conversation. He might not always be the most talkative, but post-coitus is where you’ll most likely hear him say something earnest and romantic compared to other times. You’ve gotta understand, you’re a miracle, and you being in his arms is like heaven, but he can’t really believe it? But he’s also overwhelmed and tired to let it bother him too much, so he’s able to let his doubt and restraints go a little easier and just breathe. He feels safe, he feels at home and that’s a rare thing, so he’s really just happy to bask in the afterglow and the quietude of it all. It’s the safest, easiest thing in the world for the both of you.

If he’s been on the rougher side, he’ll definitely make sure you’re alright and be more gentle in comparison. and he’s generally more attentive than usual. He’s usually nice about cleaning you up, too, a gentleman lmao.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kakashi quite likes his upper body, or his torso more generally. He’s lean and broad, but not in an overbearing or obvious way, and he really likes the reaction he gets when you actually do get to see him shirtless. He’s also a little sensitive on his back (and he doesn’t mind if you end up scratching it). But if you rub his shoulders or massage his back or chest, he’s putty in your hands.

When it comes to a partner? So the fandom seems to be consistent in thinking of Kakashi as an ass man, and I’m inclined to agree. He just loves to grab it, slap it, just look at it tbh or whatever, but even if you don’t think your ass is that great, there’s very high probability that he does anyway. But honestly I think he’d have a hard time picking a favourite part of your body.

Some other body parts he definitely loves that don’t get mentioned though: he just loves your waist and how it curves in and out into your hips. He’s mesmerised by it.

plz imagine Kakashi’s nice big hands running gently running along your waist while he thrusts into you deep and slow, your back arching and then they settle on your hips?

Also, he loooooves legs, how they feel wrapped around him, the soft thighs omg. When you wear stockings or heels or other things that accentuate them, ahajhfkaj have mercy on him. Also, wrists and ankles? They’re so pretty and delicate he’ll just grab them where he can. If you both are in some kinda position where he can, he’ll definitely give you lil ankle kisses. also wear an anklet to see him blush

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

So uh, I’m really doing this, huh?

Soooo hear me out. Kakashi’s diet is impeccable. I don’t take criticism here lmao, it’s been mentioned multiple times how much he hates deep fried stuff and sweets (yeah yeah he’s one of those weirdoes that enjoys healthy food most, Kakashi we get it) and he’s always feeding Naruto veggies (or trying to). My point? His cum would taste good, okay? Or at least, not strong or bad at all, very neutral if not good. (You have zero problems swallowing)

Also, he cums a pretty good amount. He tends to try and hold back his orgasm so when he does come it does build up. Coming inside you is his favourite, just the intimacy of it, of filling you like that.

But…. he’s pretty ashamed of it at first, but he does love coming on his partner. Whether it’s on your face (ughhhh when you lick up some of his cum around your mouth after a blowjob), or your breasts, or your back, or wherever tbh. He doesn’t know whether it’s the visuals, the eroticism of it or even a territorial aspect? He doesn’t wanna ponder it too much it’s just hot okay.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So this one was hard… because, unpopular opinion, I don't see him as into anything too crazy or depraved?

But here’s what I came up with: he’s totally fucked in the Hokage’s office. It’s only a dirty secret because of how improper that is, how inappropriate it is that the man in charge of the whole village is having sex in the very epicentre of where he’s supposed to be doing that, when other Hokage have been in that room before him… but it’s also why he’s into it.

Also, he’ll die before he ever admits to you exactly how many times he’s jerked off to the thought of you. And after you got together into a pair of your panties when you were away and he missed you too much

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Short version: Kakashi’s not as experienced as you might think, but this doesn’t translate into lack of skill in any way.

The long version: Ahhh so I go back on forth on this but I’ma attempt to think this through here. Okay, so, fandom has generally two sides when it comes to Kakashi and this topic. He’s either the completely suave, smooth ladies’ man who has all the one night stands or on account of his issues he’s a passive, stuttering virgin who’s constantly flustered.

Neither of these are that accurate. So I do get ladies man Kakashi to a point. It comes from the fact that he is quite smooth? And women do seem to like him quite easily in the series. And Kakashi definitely has the capacity to be a charmer, and is quite good at flirting when his job requires it or it’s a stranger etc. He’s good at reading people and winning them over. This is more complicated when he’s faced with someone he’s attracted to, or that has the potential to mean something to him. He still might be charming, but he’s very good at using this to keep you further from him, so you can’t really get to know him or get close to him so it’s not quite the same. It’s his way of controlling the distance between you.

Now, when it comes to experience, I don’t think Kakashi’s incapable of using casual sex as some kind of a coping mechanism (it’s not the healthiest), but if he was going to do this, it’d be during the latter part of his ANBU years. I can see him having sex as just a means to forget and remember he’s alive, and quell an urge, with basically faceless partners, or maybe complete strangers on missions. This does make him feel even lonelier after a while though, and it’s not really what he wants. Eventually having sex with women he’ll never see again serves to make him more miserable, and I think by the time we see him at the beginning of the series he doesn’t really do this anymore. So I wouldn’t say he’s completely inexperienced sexually at least, though he definitely is romantically.

Generally after that, Kakashi’s gonna reserve sex for someone who he has a deep emotional and physical connection with, but God forbid he ever calls it what it is - a relationship. Basically, if he’s sleeping with you, he pretty much loves you whether he knows it or not. And if he’s comparing that to his past experiences, he really feels the difference and cherishes it all the more (but it still scares him and he won’t admit it to himself.

So here’s how I see it. There’s always been a sexual chemistry between him and you, and a physical and romantic attraction. But of course Kakashi is Kakashi so he does absolutely nothing about it and doesn’t want to let you do anything about it. Still, you’re surprisingly persistent, and you do become close to each other in a friendly capacity, in whatever way Kakashi’s able to participate in that. Eventually, ( I haven’t thought this through quite yet) you do end up fucking and Kakashi tries to convince himself that he can just do that, that he can keep up having great sex with a great friend and that you don’t mean the world to him. You try to do the same, for his benefit, but you’re in deep and neither of you can’t deny there’s a bond and your connection is so strong that you’re basically in a relationship - and you kinda are by the time you start having sex - but he doesn’t really have the balls to actually call it that till after the 4th shinobi war. (I have some thoughts about how the war impacted Kakashi’s psychology but it’s generally then when he’ll genuinely feel comfortable enough to fully commit himself to you and see a future for himself, which he’s never really had before, and a future with you to boot).

To bring it back to this (I’m sorry what a fucking tangent), Kakashi’s maybe not had sex with a large amount of women, but he’s a quick learner and has natural skill. He also learns your body and what you like quickly. So whilst he’s not as experienced as he seems, he’s definitely more skilled than he has any right to be.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When it comes to positions there’s very little he wouldn’t enjoy tbh. He does have an affinity for positions like doggy style, just the visuals and the power it gives him. It’s easy for him to get a bit carried away though, but that’s his go to when he’s feeling rougher.

When it’s more romantic and slow and sensual, he also loves variations of missionary, because he loves the intimacy of the eye contact, and how your body is so close he can hear your heartbeat but his absolute favourite positions are missionary variations where your legs are on his shoulders, or where he’s spreading your thighs as perpendicular as possible and really testing your flexibility are probably his favourite cuz legs, and he can go even deeper and get an amazing angle.

But he definitely likes it when you ride him too, whether you’re facing him or away, it just feels too good when you’re bouncing on him like that. Also it’s nice to relax a bit and not have to do more of the work… plz take care of him from time to time…

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely has the capacity to be a fucking dork, as we know, and this has the potential to translate to his sex life. It’s a sign of complete ease if he can laugh and joke with you during, and he loves to have fun and play around with you, but at the same time, he does prefer to be serious most of the time. This means a lot to him and he’ll make sure you know that. He’s also gonna get a bit exasperated if you don’t seem to be taking it as seriously as him, or if you’re too into jokes and giggles for his liking that day. Probably will try and shut you up one way or another.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

(Ughh okay so the idea of Kakashi with a silver happy trail leading to a messy shockwave of hair down there really does things to me okay, I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out)

Okay so… Have you seen how Kakashi manages his hair? Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. I don’t even know if this man owns a hairbrush. So I can definitely see him not being assed about shaving his bush. It’s probably kind of wild, or at the very least more on the unkempt side.

But then again he’s assed enough to keep his face clean shaven so he can wear his mask, so maybe he does, like I do head canon that he’s a very clean person and he probably feels like it is a *bit* cleaner that way but I’m leaning towards nah he just leaves it alone, but will trim it from time to time when it gets too wild or if it bothers you. I do think he probably has slightly more body hair than you’d expect tbh, but his hair is so light especially against his complexion so it’s not really noticeable. Oh and obviously, the carpet matches the drapes. (Idk why this made me imagine Kakashi with a ginger bush..  LMAO there’s a thought)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It does depend on the mood between you, what kinda day he’s had, what position you’re in etc but he places a lot of value on sex in your relationship, for the intimacy and emotional bonding, not just the physical pleasure. So there are a lot of times where he’d be super intimate. Kakashi’s a man who chooses his words and actions very carefully in normal life and during sex he allows himself to let all that go. His actions really convey the depth of what you mean to him, what being with you like this means to him. He’ll hold you close to him, running his hands all over your body just to feel you everywhere, kiss you everywhere you can whilst he moves, bury his face into your neck, breathe you in - he just is very overwhelmed by this and there are times during your most intimate moments where he’s so in awe and so happy that he could die right there.

That being said, if he’s fucking you over his desk in the hokage’s office and it’s rough and fast, it’s a little harder to feel the intimacy and the romantic connection. Still, it is underlying every moment between you too. You’re the only ones that see these sides of each other, and make each other feel that way, and he really values that. He’ll still make it feel tender somehow and not just mindless fucking (no matter how blank he makes your head feel)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don’t see him as being a particularly frequent masturbator tbh. He strikes me as disciplined and he can probably go a while without it, especially if he’s busy, but more than just that, he kinda sees it as an inconvenience he just has to do sometimes? To blow off some steam, or when he’s not had sex in a while or something got his mind racing and it’s a distraction because he literally can’t think about anything else. He’ll probably use his books, but he prefers to use his imagination tbh, though the books can start as a seed for that.

He also doesn’t like having to put too much effort into jerking himself off? He doesn’t like to overcomplicate things when it comes to his sex life, and especially when it’s just jacking off.

He just kinda wants to get it done so he can move on to something more productive or fall asleep or something. So he’s just happy to pump himself off until he gets there.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay here’s where I’m gonna lose some of you.

Kakashi’s just not that kinky. Or maybe not kinky by tumblr/fic standards. Like I said in the previous head canon, he just does not see the appeal of making his sex life more complicated than it needs to be and his kinks aren’t gonna be too crazy. He just wants to feel good with you and he’s not that difficult to get going. With that in mind, here are some things he likes:

Spanking ;)

Teasing

Face-fucking

Dirty Talk (to a point, anything too stupid sounding or too dirty might make him laugh or take him out of it…)

clothed sex (where you are so horny for each other you can’t even wait to get undressed properly)

semi-public sex (he would hate the idea of actually being seen but the idea of *almost* being caught is kinda hot to him, not that he’ll ever let that happen if he can help it),

body worship (is that a kink)

LIGHT dom (I’ll mention it more later but he’s not too extreme into this stuff, but if you call him Hokage-sama or captain he might get a little too into it… not that that’s bad) I heard someone call him general during the war arc and that shit SENT me

he maaaay do a a threesome with shadow clones (either two of his if you want that, but two of you seem kinda hot… that being said, this might delve into that ‘making things too complicated’ so Idk, this might just be hot to me cuz I would like two Kakashis to rail me and I do think he’d enjoy it if two of you focused on him),

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bed is fine but that’s really what he associates with either morning sex, or romantic, intimate lovemaking type stuff. When it’s more raunchy and playful, he really likes bending you over stuff tbh, his desk, kitchen counter etc most surfaces work well. He likes the shower too. Also, one time you both were just so hot for each other and didn’t make it to the bed and went at it on the hard floor and it was so wild and rough.

But he really loves fucking you up against walls, doors, mirrors, etc, Wall is his favourite, it’s just so intense and he gets animalistic and yeah it’s so good.

WAIT, how did I forget, sex in front of the mirror?! This is something he enjoys more with a more flustered or shy s/o who’s not used to looking at themselves. I have been thinking about writing something for this

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kakashi’s more on the traditional side in terms of what he likes but it’s really not that hard to turn him on. He loooooveeees when you wear lingerie for him, anything pretty and lacy but also stockings and all that. But then there’s something about when it’s simplistic too, like when you’re just wearing his shirt and nothing else? That’ll get him going too. But yeah, plz surprise him with a sexy outfit when he comes home from a long day of work and he’ll love you 5ever.

I dunno why I’ve always thought this, but I also think he’s turned on by subtle, understated signs of femininity? It’s just such a contrast to what he’s used to and he really appreciates it and is just mesmerised by you tbh. It’s things that are natural, the way when you sit down your hips get that crease where they meet your thighs, you might sometimes look down when you smile softly, the way you walk, pretty hair. If you have a really classical, elegant/sophisticated kind of style he loves that. Kinda hard to explain what I mean with that but like, say a dress or skirt that shows off your curves but isn’t too revealing? It really gets his mind racing. That make sense? (No worries if that’s not your style either, like I say, it’s not that hard to turn him on) But I also think he kinda likes when you wear jewellery? Like nothing too ostentatious but if you’re naked beneath him and the only thing you’re wearing is a necklace or some fancy earrings he just thinks you look so beautiful.

He also likes the comfortable, gentle teasing and flirting in the conversations you have, the jovial aspect to them, the connotations they carry. You could say one comment and not mean a whole lot by it and it might get his mind racing. He’ll think about you all day.

I mentioned before but offering to massage his back/chest/shoulders is his favourite, and if you kiss his jawline or neck even innocently it might not be innocent for very long ;) just when you’re generally affectionate and gentle with him.

He’d definitely enjoy it if you were confident, but I also feel like he’d like a shyer s/o too? If you were a little easier to fluster than he is, he finds it much easier to be confident and make you feel that much better ;) he likes making you blush.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Okay, here’s where I’m definitely gonna lose some of you. But hang with me.

Short version: He doesn’t really like BDSM, be nice to him and let him be

Long version (I’m sorry guys):

By the time Kakashi’s in a loving relationship with you, he’s shown you his vulnerability and he trusts you, and he’s happy to try things within reason, but he has boundaries. And he expects you to respect them, just like he respects yours. You’re gonna frustrate him and make him close off if you’re wanting to push him to try new stuff or go out of his comfort zone. He can be set in his ways. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. So if that’s not cool for you, that’s a turn-off.

He’s not into role-reversal. This is a tricky one to explain (and I’d explained it better in my first version of this that got lost to the void but alas this is where my memory is getting hazy), but though he’s a man with a lot of power and responsibility and control, these things aren’t necessarily things he’s insecure about or that come unnaturally to him. They’re not a persona or things he’s necessarily putting a lot of effort into being. He just is. He’s self-aware of his own abilities and strengths and he’s very a-matter-of-fact about them. I guess what I’m saying is, the more masculine attributes of his personality and demeanour that make some people say he’s DaddyAF and others say he’s probably not like that sexually, are just who he is naturally. He’s not putting effort into being these things and does not see the appeal of working to reverse this in the bedroom, or better yet, doesn’t really understand it. It’s way more effort for him to do that than it is for him to just be who he is. I could go way more into the psychology of this but this thing is long enough already but part of that accepting him for who he is is just letting him be. I’m saying he’s in no way a sub, basically.

But he’s not a huge dom, either. He’s actually really not into anything hardcore when it comes to dom/sub or bdsm stuff like at all. Like he’s not gonna be your daddy or your master or anything like that. He really values ease above all else and is happy to just enjoy the two of you and your body without adding extra layers of extreme power dynamics and kinks on top of it. He’s happy to be more on the authoritative side, which is why I say light dom, and it’s more natural for him to take the lead, but he’s not thinking about it too hard. I also don’t think he’d be averse to some mild power play - in that mean he likes it when you get a little cheeky, tease him, you can make fun of him, there’s a bit of cat and mouse between you, but if you’re too much into control or power that actually might bring out his rougher dominant side a bit more than normal. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not incapable of lying back and letting you do your thing.

…But he is still a bit of a control freak at heart and he doesn’t want to feel like something could go wrong, so if you make him feel like he can’t do anything about the situation or having no control at all is likely gonna be a bad experience for him.The other thing is that Kakashi doesn’t feel like he’s had control over his life where it counts, and he still feels pretty shitty about himself a lot. He’s not gonna wanna relinquish all control during his sex life, no matter how much he trusts you. He’d hate feeling completely passive, and if you humiliate him you’re just gonna make him feel shitty. He doesn’t wanna humiliate you either. So what I’m saying is, he’s just not into femdom or extreme male sub stuff or anything like that, sorry not sorry. He’s felt shitty enough in his life for you to turn it into a kink. He’s a pretty chill guy, but he still has his comfort zone, and he trusts you enough to be vulnerable, don’t take advantage of that. Be kind to Kakashi Hatake 2020.

With everything I’ve said so far, he’s never gonna let you peg him. It’s not something that really appeals to him visually or psychologically, plus any kind of receiving anal stimulation is just not really his thing. Leave Kakashi Hatake’s asshole alone 2020. Also, he doesn’t like the plastic/artificialness of toys in general, he’d much rather genuine skin on skin contact and feeling your body and you his, and just yeah you having to use toys on him will turn him off or seeing you in a way, that’s you know, not you, with an artificial appendage is just, a big no for him. Probably has the exact opposite effect you’d want. 

He’d also never wanna hurt you, or be into you hurting him. If it doesn’t trigger his PTSD or his tendency to self-loathe like all the other things I mentioned, he’s been getting hurt his whole life so he’s likely not gonna enjoy this in the bedroom, it’s either banal to him or a complete turn-off at the least. He’s self-aware enough to know it’s not gonna be the healthiest thing for him to sexualise it. He’s also hurt too many people to do something that could potentially hurt you, so no weapons, ninja techniques, things like that. I don’t think he’d even be into choking you. He just wants to relax, and enjoy himself and being with you in a way where he can feel safe, but not passive, and he loves having a partner that can allow him to do that.

So a partner being too dominant to the point of making him feel shitty and weak would be a turn-off, or just generally one that’s impatient or unkind. You’ll need to be empathetic and warm to get anywhere with him anyway, or at least you’ll struggle otherwise. Also, he wouldn’t ever want a threesome. It’s taken so much out of him to build up trust and intimacy between you, he’s sure that introducing another person, even if it’s only a one time thing, would ruin it. He also doesn’t want anyone other than you to see him in that way, or vice versa.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

So I don’t know why but I feel like Kakashi sees eating you out as such a special, intimate act? It’s a big deal, and this is something he probably wouldn’t do with someone he doesn’t have a strong connection to, or not as much. But when he does love you, your responses and the whole act are just mesmerising to him. Maybe it’s how vulnerable delicate you seem, how your moans are more gentle and delicate compared to when he’s fucking you, how he’s up and close against your most private parts, how he’s the only one that sees you like this… It really gets him going tbh, but it also takes a lot out of him? It just ends up meaning more to him than a blowjob might mean to you. So he might actually end up receiving more than he gives, despite the fact that he enjoys it and is very good at it. I don’t mind I’ll suck his dick 25/8

Like most men, he’ll be putty in your hands if you give him a good blowjob. It’s one of those things that never cease to amaze him or drive him crazy, no matter how many times you’ve done it, the sight of you on your knees, sucking him down. He’ll feel guilty but he face-fucks you sometimes, and it feels amazing, but he honestly might let himself get carried away. So he’ll sometimes grab your hair or clench his fist instead, otherwise he’ll just try to gently guide your ahead along sometimes. His moans during blowjobs are also damn hot as well. Like guttural groans and moans, he’s louder than normal.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends with Kakashi! Whether it’s a quickie, the position, where you’re doing it. He has a penchant for slow and sensual though. He wants to savour you, the sensation, the moment, the sights, everything. He really wants to bask in the intimacy of what’s going on and go as deep as he can and take his time. He likes taking it easy.

But there’s always gonna be moments where he can be pretty damn animalistic and rough and he’s pretty good with that too. Though, where he has the time to do so, he likes to build up to it? Occasionally he’ll be too pent up/frustrated or too short on time to really do it but like if time and space allows he doesn’t wanna start ramming into you like right away, he wants you to adjust, and will slowly fuck you until you’re really want it as crazily as he does.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes a good quickie, or rather, they’re his only option sometimes. He’s a busy guy who can’t always plan his schedule, and this goes tenfold when he becomes Hokage. So whilst his favourite will also be something longer where he can take his time and enjoy your body, you’re gonna have to accept that there will be periods where all you’ll get is quickies in his office, or in the morning before he has to leave.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

So despite all that stuff I listed about all the things he won’t do, he’s willing to try a lot of stuff with you. He does enjoy experimenting and he thinks it’s fun and brings you guys closer together, but within reason. He doesn’t wanna do anything too complicated or too strange by his standards, but he’ll be up for new locations, new positions, and he is risky in the sense that he won’t mind doing some stuff in public, or semi-public at least.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

So it’s definitely better when he doesn’t have his sharingan constantly sapping his energy anymore, but not to the point that you really noticed there being a problem before. He just puts a lot of effort and concentration into not cumming before you, and he’s pretty good at that. Depending on how pent up he is, he can last a decent amount of time. But if he has lasted quite a long time, when he finally does cum, he might not be in the mood to go again.

I see him going for like, one short round and one long one. Or if it’s shorter his recovery time’s pretty decent. But if you get ever happen to get three or more rounds of him in one go you should definitely praise him or take care of him cuz that’s pretty difficult and his dick might be broken for the next few days.

The only time his ability to hold back his orgasm goes to shit is when you’re having his way with him by riding him or sucking him off. You’re just too good have mercy on him But he’s better able to control that stuff and slow down and take breaks when he needs to when he’s the one leading things.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nah, this harkens back to the whole thing about him not wanting to overcomplicate things and just have fun without thinking too much. He can’t be assed with toys and won’t use them on himself. I also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t like the fakeness/artificiality of toys, just the gimmicky-ness of it, the plastics... Nah. He wants to feel something real. Besides it’s canon how crazy this man’s physical skill is, his hands, his fingers… He’s completely satisfied with just his hands. And you are too

If it means a lot to you, he can use toys on you. But let’s be honest I really don’t think you’ll feel the need.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kakashi is a little shit, we all know this. He loves to tease and edge, and he just loves seeing how frustrated you get, your scolding, knowing that you still can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, your annoyed little whines and huffs… But he always more than makes up for it later.

He is so bad at receiving teasing though, he cannot withstand as much as you can, which is lame, considering how much he can put you through.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not that loud, though there are times he can be. When he’s getting close to cumming, when he finally does are probably his loudest. But generally, his noises are so so nice. He makes soft little grunts and pants mostly, but he’ll growl and groan, whisper your name.. But sometimes you can get a semi-loud moan out of hiim and omg it’s so so hot.

He’s a little louder when he’s tired, or first thing in the morning? He’s more sensitive. When he’s not having to concentrate so much or think too much about what’s going on, he’ll get a little louder. He’s also louder when you’re riding him than in other positions.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You know what I’ve gone in so deep with this head canons that I can’t think of a random one and I can’t remember what I wrote yesterday.

So Kakashi really appreciates just physical contact with you, wherever it might be. It doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual either but it makes him feel at ease. I said this already too, but Kakashi loves the comfort of just being vanilla. Nothing special, nothing elaborate, no gimmicks, just him on top of you, with your legs around his hips, as he drives into you. It’s literally just you and him in the world and that’s all there needs to be and nothing’s ever felt more right than that.  

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It’s canon Kakashi is big need I say more. Okay I’ll say more. So it’s pretty long and thick. It’s not like monster huge but he’ll definitely take some adjusting. Probs uncut, and the same girth all the way down. Also kinda veiny, there’s some big ones on the underside. You’ll definitely feel him throb inside you.  But his body is nice too, but we been knowing that. He’s lean, and muscular, but in an understated way. He also has really nice legs? Like his thighs are good. The only time I saw his legs was in ep 101 of og Naruto but I was very pleased tbh. Like they’re well-trained but not crazy muscular like those men who work out a lot get… do you know what I mean? The round calves and stuff? He doesn’t have that. He also has a very nice ass. Gets flustered if you stare at it or slap it. Please do though his reaction is so cute.

Anyways, back to his dick, the colour is slightly darker than the rest of his body and the tip a tad darker than that. I remember seeing a picture on twitter and omg I couldn’t like it cuz I need some semblance of keeping my twitter professional but omg I saved the link, this is it though, the artist gets him perfectly.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s high but nothing ridiculous. He’s controlled enough where he can go a while without it, but this is harder once he has a partner.

Once you guys have settled into each other and grown comfortable, he’s probably up for it 3-4 times a week, but depends on you and both of your schedules too. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes less.  But he’s a busy guy and has tons of things going on so as much as he’d like to, he can’t think about having sex extremely frequently. He’s also gonna have periods where he physically can’t see you that much, so the times you do see each other might be spent having sex so it might feel like it’s crazy high, but it’s more that he’s making up for lost time.

As he gets older his sex drive does decrease slightly, but not by much tbh. He’s very adaptable to your needs too. If you wanna fuck a lot that’s all great but if it’s like twice a day every day then calm down dang you might need to satisfy yourself. But if yours is a lot lower than is, he might struggle, but eh, he can manage.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex definitely depletes him and makes it easy to sleep, but he’ll normally wait for you to fall asleep. It’s a control thing and a protective thing, but he just feels a lot better about sleeping once you’re already there dozing off in his arms, and after sex is one of the rare times where he feels relaxed enough and his mind is empty enough where he can get a good night’s rest without any issues.  

[wetcatspellcaster]

end-of-year fic writer roundup

Thanks @hawkeish​ for the tag! (I say, as if I lowkey didn’t bully you into tagging me :’) )

word count: 380,935 words published to AO3 since my first foray into fic in february, by far the most words I’ve ever written in a year. It’s amazing what clinging to a hyperfixation for any sense of self while living alone in a pandemic will do to your productivity.

new things I tried this year: like hawkeish, fanfic in general! I’d never written fanfic before this year, and it was the perfect hyperfixation to pick up roughly 3 weeks before the first UK lockdown. While I was depressed in December, I made a new year’s resolution for 2020 to try to rediscover the joy of writing again by Any Means Necessary. Add a pandemic into the mix where I was cut off from all my friends in England, and I decided to focus on fanfic rather than original fic, because I needed to write only for me and I needed it to make me happy. Thank god it worked! Fic is literally the only thing keeping me going at times. It helped me recover from my depression and it remains my no.1 pandemic coping mechanism.

fic I spent the most time on: obvs all 325k of Eye of the Storm, given that my other published fics are 1/10 of the word count.

fic I spent the least time on: I think the one I’m currently posting, Fortress of Highever? Because I set myself a deadline for the draft that I met, and also Alistair is way too nice to cause half the drama of any of the other DA characters.

favourite thing I wrote: this works out very neatly, because it is absolutely A Man’s Word is His Bond. I think Eye of the Storm is kind of a hot mess, but this fic literally does everything I wanted it to. I just wanted to read something with the same kind of dynamic as Howl/Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle (as in, dramatic disaster bisexual and his hypercompetent wife), so I wrote myself a trashy soulmate AU. I reread this fic whenever I am ill.

favourite thing I read: I’ve struggled with reading in general this year, favouring webtoons over both books and fics. But I really liked The Prince’s Penance by Ocreata which is a Sebastian/F!Trevelyan fic (I want to marry this version of Evelyn plz), Of Amulets and Dragons by MakjangCandy (Modern Girl in Thedas WITH ADDED KDRAMA TROPES, meaning it is literally a mashup of my two comfort genres) and a old Handers fic I found called A Little White Lie by CherieoftheDragons, which wonderfully lampshades how awful and inappropriate and endearing all of Hawke’s canonical flirting dialogue is.

Also, it ain’t a Dragon Age fic, but any fan of the Magnus Archives, or anyone who has ever had to do work with GDPR in the UK should read Beholding the GDPR: How the Magnus Institute Updated Its Privacy Policy for the Twenty-First Century And Only Caused One Nervous Breakdown In The Process by shinyopals, which is one of the best and funniest goddamn fics I’ve ever read.

writing goals for next year: Finish Eye of the Storm without losing motivation in a motivation destroying world. Write my Modern Girl in Thedas project, if only to have a chance to drag another Dragon Age love interest within an inch of his life. Tentatively look at my original fic WIPs sidelong.

I don’t really have anyone to tag bc I don’t know many writers on tumblr! So instead I’ll just add a quick “Happy New Year!” here. And if anyone on here follows me cause they read my stuff, thank you so much!!

[ijustreallylovezebras]

Courtney’s Crisis Writing Challenge

So yeah as I’m sure all of you are aware of by now I’m having a crisis

and I figured what better way to deal with an emotional crisis than to do a writing challenge and read all the wonderful thing’s y’all can write to distract myself from my ever-growing list of responsibilities

maybe i should change it to Courtney’s Procrastination and Existential Worry Writing Challenge instead

ANYWAY

This is a whole-ass mega writing challenge, going across ALL the people I’ve ever written for and all the people I lowkey want to write for/kinda have a current obsession/love for atm

I’ll give a full comprehensive list below the rules 

But yeah this is going to have an English Literature theme bc I’m a nerd like that and have been reading too many books lately, again, to distract myself

So the prompts are split into three categories - “The Heartbreakingly Beautiful”, “The Hilariously Relateable” and “Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff”

yeah the categories are just what went through my mind when I read the things these authors wrote

The Rules

1) You don’t have to be following me but it would be nice because I’m lonely and want friends plz

2) If your piece of writing is over 500 words, please use the ‘read more’ feature

3) Reblog this post to get the word out (and tag anyone who may be interested!)

4) It’s going to be one person per prompt but if needed I can add more prompts

5) Smut is fine but please leave warnings as appropriate (THOUGH NO UNDERAGE CHARACTER SMUT THANKS)

6) On the back of that one, no inappropriate pairings pleaseeeeee

7) Also please make sure you leave appropriate warnings at the beginnings of fics if any sensitive subjects are brought up (e.g. mental health etc)

8) Ships and OC’s are welcome

9) Tag me in your writing! - on any of my blogs or all three if you’re keen whoooo

10) Use the hashtag #CourtsCrisisWC

11) If you want to enter send me an ask with the prompt you want and the pairing you’ll be writing it with - again the ask can be sent to either of my writing blogs

12) The deadline for this is 15th December (this can be extended if y’all need it)

Characters/People/Pairings

Okay so imma split this section into parts real quick

Main Blog

1) Pretty much anyone from the MCU is welcome - with the exception of Tony Stark and Clint Barton

2) Tom Holland & Harrison Osterfield and HOCO cast and the Holland boys (NOT PADDY) 

3) Any of Les Amis

4) The characters from Peaky Blinders as well

5) Poly ships (e.g. Steve x Reader x Bucky or Tom x Reader x Harrison)

Side Blog

1) Ben Hardy (+ Warren Worthington)

2) Joe Mazzello (+ Eugene Sledge, Gardner Langway, Pat Murray, Dr Tim Murphy)

3) Gwilym Lee (+ Charlie Nelson)

4) (BoRhap!)Queen members (Freddie only platonically)

5) Roger x Reader x Ben

6) Joe x Reader x Ben

7) The Hargreeves Children (older!Five only)

8) Richard Madden (+ David Budd, Robb Stark, Prince Kit)

9) Taron Egerton (+ Eggsy)

10) Rocketman!Bernie Taupin and Ray Williams

11) Smosh Members

12) Jake Gyllenhaal (+ all his various characters)

13) Chris Evans (+ Ari Levinson, Frank Adler)

Just For Funsies (i.e. current obsessions I don’t officially write for but lowkey want to)

1) Ashton Irwin

2) Calum Hood

3) Sebastian Stan (+ Chris Beck)

tbh y’all can just send me a person and I’ll let you know if I’m cool with you writing for them but judging by this list I think you can rest fairly assured that I’m going to be okay with whoever you want to write for

Prompts

The Heartbreakingly Beautiful

“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons” - The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S Eliot // the most beautiful and wonderful poem ever written don’t fight me on this // ( @writingsoftheloser w/ BLANK)

“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is” - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do you start missing everybody” - The Catcher In The Rye by J.D Salinger ( @takenbyheartstrings w/ Peter Parker)

“I should have made it as hard for you to leave me as it is now for me to leave you” - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë ( @bensakindofmagic w/ Ben Hardy)

"The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind." - Love Letters To The Dead by Ava Dellaira ( @petersfreckles w/ Peter Parker)

“You never forget the face of the person that is your last hope” - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins ( @tom-holland-stuff w/ BLANK)

“Hope may be the thing that pulls you forward (may be the thing that keeps you going) but that it’s painful and dangerous and risky it’s making a dare to the world and when has the world ever let us win a dare?” - The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness

“We can't fight another person's battle, no matter how much we want to.” - Holding Up The Universe by Jenifer Niven

“I'm sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to this nervous condition.” - The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.” - Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

The Hilariously and Painfully Relatable

“As far as I'm concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.” - Solitaire by Alice Oseman

“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." - East of Eden by John Steinbeck ( @queen-paladin w/ Joe/Eugene/Charlie/Les Amis boy)

"We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered." - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard ( @lilulo-12 w/ Bucky)

"It's just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is." - The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen ( @sataninsatin w/ Detective Loki)

“It was books that made me feel that I was not completely alone” - The Night Circus by Erin Mogenstern

“Was there some kind of rule against drop kicking arseholes in the face? Probably. They always had rules against things that needed to be done” - Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

“I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed” - Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare ( @icantspellanything w/ Poe Dameron)

“Some people are born with an ear for music, some people are born with a talent for drawing, some people...have a built-in radar that tells them where a comma needs to go in a sentence.” - Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak

Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff 

“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you” - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin ( @mavalenovaninagavi w/ Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker)

“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Flitzgerald ( @angiefangirlworld-2 w/ Ben Hardy)

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë ( @fichoe21 w/ Bucky)

"The curves of your lips rewrite history." - Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde ( @sarahp879 w/ Bucky)

"[BLANK] was right. [They] never looked nice. [They] looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." - Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell ( @writing-of-a-british-bitch w/ Eggsy/Warren)

“Here’s my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Love is worth everything. Everything.” - Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace,  against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” - Great Expectations by Charles Dickens ( @natdoesthings w/ Jake Gyllenhaal)

“I just want you to know that you’re very special and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chebowsky ( @d-is-for-delightfull w/ Enjolras)

“Don’t you understand? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!” - Peter Pan by J.M Barrie

[vagrantblvrd]

ramwood fahc early days plz

That one where Geoff goes to Los Santos on his own to start up his own crew, right?

Jack was supposed to go with him, but there’s some kind of delay on his end of things.

Dealing with loose ends to a job he was a key member of or he’s just sick and Geoff and everyone else insists he get better first. (“Jack, c’mon man. The last thing we need is you bringing the plague to Los Santos.”)

Geoff leaves it to Jack to put together a support team for them - after Jack’s back on his feet and functioning at 80% capacity at the very least, and don’t think Burnie and the others won’t keep an on you for me Patillo!!1!

So Geoff heads out first to get the lay of the land and all that.

Goes to see the Roosters’ contacts out there, get what information on the local gangs and crews. Current political climate when it comes to things legal and illegal, and goes back to the modest little penthouse to sift through everything he’s learned.

Ends up visiting seedy bars and the whatnot, charming grin as certain parties buy him drinks. (Guy with a face like his out at a place like that all alone? Of course someone’s going to see if he’s interested.)

Most of the time he finds a way to turn them down, sweet and charming and no hard feelings out of it for everyone.

Sometimes he says fuck it and has a very good time indeed because he’s only human and it’s kind of lonely out here. (Not that he’ll ever admit it. Well, unless someone like Jack asks, but still.)

One night he meets this guy, broad shoulder and this little smirk. Quirked eyebrow as glances at the drink that ~magically appeared at Geoff’s table and look okay, look.

Geoff is very much a weak man because this guy’s got some scruff going on and when he asks if Geoff’s new to town, that fucking voice.

Geoff goes home with him, kind of amused at the unbelievably Totally Normal Guy place he has, all these plants and shit. Some books scattered around. Typical bachelor stuff in this quaint little apartment and don’t think Geoff misses the way some strays come out of their hidey spaces when they see it’s the Totally Normal Guy.

(The little blush that hits the guys cheeks when he catches the dopey little grin on Geoff’s face when he greets the strays, all these dogs and a cat or two that look like they’ve had a rough time of it, right? Only they look like someone’s been feeding them, don’t shy away when the guy goes to pet them, and fucking seriously. Geoff would feel more guilty about this whole thing if he wasn’t so sure it’s just going to be a one-night stand kind of deal. No need to worry about dragging this guy into Geoff’s kind of trouble or catching feelings for him.)

So they have their one-night stand and Geoff feels guiltier than he should when he leaves the next morning – didn’t have it in him to sneak out in the middle of the night, no.Pressed a kiss to Totally Normal Guy Geoff’s shoulder when they woke up in the morning and told him he had fun and thanks for everything. But he’s got work and gets the hell out of there before he did something stupid like let Totally Normal Guy’s sleepy face and soft little smile make him want to stay when he absolutely shouldn’t.

Geoff’s old, okay. Got stupid with  it, wants something a little more serious than these one-night stands, but that’s not in the card for someone in his line of work. Dangerous as hell, never mind the ones like Burnie and Hullum, even fucking Gus who make it work for them. Geoff’s track record in that area is kind of shit, so it’s better this way.

Really.

He focuses on getting the crew up and running, and his contacts tell him he might want to look into this Vagabond guy.

Some guy making a name for himself these days. Professional and efficient, and smart as hell. Not just a weapon you aim at someone and hope for the best.

There are a few rumors that he’s not all there, kind of strange and whatnot but the stories he gets about that side of things are a mess okay. Conflicting accounts and the whatnot. The main threat Geoff gets out of it is that all the assholes the Vagabond went psycho on double-crossed him in some way, so. You know. (Jack’s not there in person to tell him no, and Geoff fails to mention his decision to look the Vagabond up to Jack when they talk on the phone, so yeah.)

It takes him a bit of work to track the guy down and when he does -

“Um...hey?”

It’s Totally Normal Guy.

There’s this whole Thing the Vagabond set up first though. A meet somewhere, just the two of them and Jack is going to kill Geoff if he ever hears about it, so good thing he won’t.

EVER.

Anyway.

There’s a whole Thing, but they get ambushed by some people who heard about Geoff being in town and wanted to bag them a Founder.

There’s a pew-pew shootout wherein Geoff and the Vagabond save each others’ lives more than once. All buddy-cop movie shit with witty one-liners and quips and laughter at inappropriate moments? Also, Geoff trying to think why the Vagabond’s voice sounds so familiar?

But you know.

Trying to stay alive and shelving that little mystery for later.

So.

Pew-pew shootout and when it’s over the Vagabond takes Geoff to one of his safehouses because who knows if there are more assholes out there, and also flesh wounds that need tending. (Because plot reasons.)

The Vagabond’s the worst off, all these grazes and cuts and the whatnot, so Geoff grabs the first aide kit and comes out to see the Vagabond just standing there.

Clearly struggling with whether or not to take off his mask -

“Hey, look,” Geoff says, figures it’s the least he can do since the guy saved his life half a dozen times earlier and also, none of his business who the guy is if he doesn’t want Geoff to know. “If you want me to leave - “

There’s this pause, the Vagabond cocking his head as he regards Geoff.

(It makes Geoff wince because one of the assholes had a knife and there’s a trail of blood down the Vagabond’s neck from under the mask and he’s worried about the guy. )

And then the Vagabond sighs, shoulders slumping as he reaches up to take the mask off. All dramatic and shit and Geoff’s half expecting a crack of thunder and flash of lightning even thought it’s a clear night out.

“Uh, hey,” the Vagabond says, only it’s Totally Normal Guy looking back at Geoff.

Kind of sheepishly, fingers fiddling with the dumb mask and doing one hell of a job of not meeting Geoff’s eyes.

“Huh,” Geoff says, maybe possibly internally panicking because oh no, Totally Normal Guy is somehow a million times hotter after everything he did at the pew-pew shootout, and also oh no. “That’s. Okay.”

He was interested in hiring the Vagabond before the whole pew-pew shootout. But then seeing the guy in action ramped that up a whole hell of a lot. He’s everything that reputation he’s been building says he is – but knowing he’s also Totally Normal Guy is just.

It’s a lot.

Because Geoff’s idiot heart and feelings he’s certain he would have caught for Totally Normal Guy in any other situation, but also Vagabond???

The Vagabond winces at Geoff’s reaction, which sets that cut on his face back to bleeding and Geoff curses and he fumbles the first aide kit.

“Okay, okay. So first we’re going to get that fixed, they we’ll talk???”

Geoff would be an idiot not to hire the Vagabond, but apparently they have History and shit and Jack is going to kill him when he finds out.

But first the bleeding.

So he h patches the guy out, gets his real name out of him. (Wouldn’t have pegged the Vagabond as a “Ryan”, but what the fuck does he know?)

Tells Ryan he still wants to hire him if he’s interested. (Tries very hard not to stare at Ryan’s face because it’s an awfully nice one, even with the abuse it suffered earlier.)

“Just work?” Ryan asks, something to it that has Geoff looking hard at him for a long moment.

Trying to untangle all the nuances in those two words, things unsaid, that kind of thing.

Because look.

This life, there are some real pieces of shit in it, okay.

People who do truly despicable things, come up with these arrangements with their subordinates all the fucking time.

“That was the idea, yeah,” Geoff says slowly, hand curling into fists because he’s dealt with those sort of assholes before and it’s always ugly. Makes him fucking furious that Ryan might have reason to ask that question. “No hard feelings if you say no.”

Geoff knows he’d be on the losing side if he tried to strong-arm Ryan into working for him.

Ryan hums, lips twitching into this little smile as he relaxes.

“Okay.”

Just like that. Fucking ‘okay’ and this dumb little smile and fucking fuck, what an asshole.

ANYWAY.

They pull those little jobs Geoff has lined up, members of B-Team arriving in Los Santos ahead of Jack to get things set up.

Always kind of awkward when they meet the Vagabond (Ryan’s got a Thing about his mask and they all respect it, but it’s a bit startling at first.)

Any lingering (sexual) tension between Geoff and Ryan doesn’t quite go away so much as it turns into this Thing neither of them openly address, because idiots.

They work well together and get along too fucking well and Geoff’s being a Good Boss, not taking advantage of shit and trying to forget that one-night stand thing because Professional!

Ryan is just.

Fuck, who knows what that idiot’s thinking?

Gets wary at the oddest times, watches Geoff like he thinks he might turn on him for whatever reason and gives him just enough rope to hang himself if he tries something. (He never does though, and those watchful moments lose that dangerous edge to them. Go all soft and thoughtful and Geoff is even more confused, but again, who the fuck knows what goes on in Ryan’s head.)

Lindsay is all ??? when he notices the shit going on between Geoff and Ryan, but she’s busy with background shit and can’t find the time to effectively interrogate Geoff yet. (Soon though. Soon.)

Eventually Jack comes to Los Santos and while he’s aware there’s some weird shit going on with Geoff and Ryan he needs to be caught up on shit.

Geoff is like, oh no, because Jack will figure everything out so fucking fast the moment he gets time to process everything, but until then!

They recruit Michael and Jeremy. Gavin shows up one day, cheeky grin on his face and this rambling explanation about being bored with the Roosters. (There’s no challenge to things anymore with the Roosters running their city the way they do, and anyways, Geoffrey, didn’t you miss me???)

Find Jeremy in some fighting ring somewhere and Michael and Gavin immediately take a liking to him like he’s a fuckin’ stray. (Also, he helped save Gavin’s life, so points for that.)

Run into the Twins and somehow get bamboozled into bringing them in the crew. (No, really. No one knows how the fuck that happened.) More people for B-Team like Matt and whoever else, and Alfredo mentioning this Fiona person he knows who might be able to help the crew out on a job. (Talented as hell, but she doesn’t work for just anyone. Gotta prove you’re worth it first.)

And on and on, and the whole time Geoff is Suffering because Ryan’s just.

Very much Ryan.

(Completely fails to notice that Ryan is having a similar problem with him.)

Eventually there’s a heist in which the two of them get paired together. Have to play happy husbands at some gala being held on a yacht in international waters just out of Los Santos where (miraculously) no one knows Geoff’s face.

(Combination of the most ridiculous masks he insists on for heists, Matt’s Hacker Magic, and Plot Reasons.)

Since no one knows the Vagabond’s face (outside the crew and a few select others, such as Meg) he’s got a few aliases out there for Reasons.

Identities in case things go to hell for him and he needs to hide out somewhere, a few from past jobs and the like. The one he uses when he’s going around Los Santos as your average civilian who needs to get things done like the grocery shopping or just to watch a movie in the theater.

Conveniently has one that gets Ryan and Geoff on that yacht for the party, only this time he gets to introduce his husband around. (Always off on a business trip or home sick and so on.)

Everyone’s a little taken aback with Geoff, because he’s not at all the kind of man they’d imagined Ryan’s high society alias would marry.

Oh, he cleans up nice, but Ryan insisted he didn’t need to bother hiding his tattoos and the whatnot.

And maybe he didn’t to Ryan, but Geoff knows okay.

He knows.

Knows what all those rich snobs think when they lay eyes on his tattoos, the way they turn their noses up and whatnot.

(Not that he gives a shit, but the hit the reputation of Ryan’s elite rich persona took is a substantial one.)

Ryan doesn’t seem to notice, at least at first.

But then Geoff goes off to grab them punch, and comes back just in time to hear the tail end of Ryan verbally eviscerating someone who clearly took offense to Geoff’s everything.

Cold and cutting and Geoff has absolutely just witnessed a murder as the asshole slinks off with their tail between their legs.

Ryan going all bashful and “Oh, uh. You weren’t supposed to hear that?”

Geoff staring at him for the longest moment before snorting and holding out the cu of punch, and offering Ryan his elbows. Steers them out of the packed room to the bow of the yacht and leans on the railing as he sips at his own drink. (This bubbly sort of warmth in his chest because Ryan had sounded so genuinely furious as he gutted that prick with his words in defense of Geoff. Sounded too damn sincere to be acting.)

And he’s not stupid okay, he’s really not.

Knows this whole Thing of acting like he hasn’t caught feelings for Ryan is going to fall apart on him someday. That Ryan will figure it out and either bolt for it because Geoff remembers that question of his okay, never wants to be like those assholes, or he’ll turn him down. (Which, is the preferable one of the two and completely understandable and the whatnot.)

But Geoff’s idiot everything when it comes to Ryan and this little speck of hope in him that maybe, maybe they could make this thing between them work? (He’s seen how good Ryan is when it comes to their line of work, if anyone’s “safe” for Geoff’s idiot heart, it’s him.)

Geoff thinks about all that as he sips his punch, sun setting over the horizon bathing them in gorgeous colors and this light breeze coming off the ocean. Ryan moving up next to him, slight tension to him that Geoff doesn’t call him on because he’s far from relaxed himself at the moment.

“Defending my honor huh?” Geoff asks, crooked little smile on his face as he looks at Ryan, who blushes harder. Throws back half his punch to try and hide it, and Geoff’s kind of idiot that has him laughing quietly. “Thanks.”

Ryan looks surprised at that, but then he smiles. This small, oddly tentative thing as he leans against the railing next to Geoff and watches the sun set.

“You’re welcome.”

Eventually they have to go back inside, play (mostly) nice until the others who have infiltrated the yacht as crew put the next stage of the heist in motion.

It won’t kick off until the next day, though, so they end up going back to their cabin suite – one bed, but they’re mature adults who can handle sharing it, okay.

Totally.

(Neither of them mention the fact that they wake up tangled together the next morning, and Geoff absolutely does not feel guilty about how nice it was to wake up to Ryan like that again, hell no. For real.)

They go about things again until one of the others gives the signal and then it’s all heist shenanigans. (A  lot of screaming and yelling, some gunfire, an explosion or two. Chaos and pandemonium as they steal the shinies they were after and make their escape.)

Geoff and Ryan and up in a speedboat together headed for safety, laughing like idiots as B-Team holds off pursuit in their Buzzards.

Get to a safehouse where they lay low for a bit before going back to the penthouse to regroup/debrief/split the loot.

And look, okay.

Maybe they’re a little more aware of this Thing between them after everything – the whole happy husbands thing and then hiding out together in a cramped safehouse and so on.

Maybe it follows them back to the penthouse where everyone is just like. They’ve had enough of watching Geoff and Ryan pine over each other like morons?

“What?”

Because they totally have been, and it stopped being kinda cute a long, long time ago, and is just kind of sad now.

So like.

Figure your shit out because it is killing them okay, killing them.

Geoff and Ryan staring at one another as the others go off to celebrate a successful heist after their intervention???

Hugely embarrassed and awkward and Geoff is super, super guilty, because -

“So, uh,” Ryan says, clears his throat cheeks this bright, bright red. All awkward and adorable and Geoff’s fuckin’ heart. “I think maybe there was a misunderstanding.”

Geoff all but falls over himself to apologize – for his behavior, what the others said, anything everything, and Ryan is like -

“Geoff, Geoff, shut the fuck up.”

Alarmed by how scared Geoff looks, because okay, look.

There are some shitty people out there, it’s true, but Geoff isn’t one of them and neither are any of his people. (Part of the reason Ryan stayed on way back when, gave the Fake AH Crew the chance he did.)

There’s some fumbling, because words are awkward things sometimes, but what Ryan has to say is that way back when, that question he had for Geoff?

He was trying to ask if maybe Geoff wanted to turn that one-night stand into something more...permanent.

Fucked that one up, though. But hey, mature adults and he could handle the feelings he’d already caught for Geoff if he just wanted them to be in a crew together. (And then he fucked that one up too, because the better he got to know Geoff, the stronger those feelings got.)

“What?”

Geoff’s absolutely certain he’s got to be dreaming all of this, or hit his head and having some fucking soap opera coma life thing going on.

But no, no.

The look Ryan gives him for asking to pinch him to see if he’s awake is enough to convince him this is real and holy shit, what doe he do now???

“I mean, uh,” Ryan says, clear his throat again, all-over nervous. “We could get coffee?”

He winces as soon as the words are out of his mouth because what is this, some twenty-something television sitcom/terrible romcom?

Geoff stares at him for a long, long moment before he laughs at the utter ridiculousness of the two of them.

“Or,” he says, because it’s been a long fucking week without the whole emotional bullshit on top of it. “We could watch some shitty movie and order takeout and see what happens from there?”

Because they’re both sad old fucks okay.

Ryan gives him this look, hints of that smirk he gave Geoff way back when in that seedy little bar and says yes.

(The rest of the crew refuses to give them a moment of peace when they come back to find them both asleep on the ouch, some terrible movie playing and Geoff’s head on Ryan’s shoulder, because goddamn that’s old people shit.)

[slusheeduck]

The Way You Keep Me Guessing: Coco Teacher!AU

@im-fairly-whitty and I are co-authoring this fic for the monster that is the Coco teacher!AU!!

(AU started by @scribblrhob, with inspiration from @upperstories, @hyucktor and SO SO MANY OTHERS AND IT’S A MAGICAL EXPERIENCE FOR ALL.)

Warning: I got creative with formatting and POV in this chapter, so I have no idea how it reads to someone who’s not me. Hopefully you enjoy!!

[Part 1: Unexpected Responsibility] [Part 2: La Directora] [Part 3: Skipping Class] [Part 4: An Unannounced Visit] [Part 5: The Roommate][Part 6: Día de Muertos (Pt. 1)] [Part 6: Día de Muertos (Pt. 2)]

Part 7: A Birthday Livestream

               The tweet goes out late on the 29th. Even so, by 6:45 a.m. the next day, the stream is packed. The cheery little “Stream will start soon!” sign is up, and the chat is already lighting up with thoughts about what the surprise stream’s going to be.

Littlebear119: I bet they’re releasing a new album!

veramaj: then héctor wouldn’t be surprised tho

Littlebear119: Truuuuuueee.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Do…you guys not know what day it is?

veramaj: what?

Littlebear119: It’s Sunday?

hectorriveraseyelashes: omg you guys don’t know lmao. Preciosooooos.

               The chat quickly devolves into “CRUUUUUZ” and “NESTO HI NESTO <3” as the stream switches on. The screen’s fairly dark, but Ernesto’s face is just visible as he whispers to the camera.

               “Hola, Cruzcitos. So I know a lot of you were upset that Héctor couldn’t be there with us on Día de Muertos.”

               There’s a general burst of agreement from the chat.

               “I know, I know.  So, since we couldn’t spend the day with you, I figured you all could spend the day with us.”

               There are several crying-face emojis and “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”s in the chat.

               “And today’s no ordinary day. I’m sure some of you know it’s my amigo Héctor’s birthday today. So, Cruzcitos, we need to start the day off properly.” He switched the camera to face forward as he slowly opened the door. Beneath a heap of blankets, a gangly leg hung off the bed and a lanky arm was slung over a pillow. “Mira mira, here’s our Sleeping Beauty now,” Ernesto whispers as he creeps into the room. “And there’s only one way to wake someone up on their birthday.”

               The chat goes quiet as Ernesto sucks in a deep breath. He pauses when Héctor shifts beneath the blankets. Then, once he goes still…

                                       “ESTAS SON LAS MAÑANITAS                                        QUE CANTABA EL REY DAVID…”

               Héctor flies up off the bed as Ernesto belts “Las Mañanitas” as loud as he can, and immediately a pillow is thrown toward the camera.

               “Tú maldito hijo d—!!”

               “There are children watching this, Héctor!”

               “It is seven in the morning, tú pin—”

               “Cruzcitos, cover your ears!” A sweatshirt collides against the camera; both Ernesto and the chat are dying.

Littlebear119: OMGGGGGGG

musiica-vida: lmao

p0c0l0c0: I CAN’T BREATH OH MY GOD

veramaj: pobre hector but rip cruz

               The camera jostles as a thud that sounds suspiciously like a shoe hitting a wall rings out, and it quickly turns as Ernesto runs out and shuts the door. He switches the camera back to face him, a big grin still on his face.

               “So our Héctor might not be much of a morning person. But our celebration of Héctor’s birthday is just starting; come back around eleven for the next stream.” Ernesto ends the stream with his trademark wink and smile.

Littlebear119: Aw, boo, I can’t come to the next one :’(

p0c0l0c0: Don’t worry someone’ll record it.

hectorriveraseyelashes: I hope poor Héctor gets to sleep a little bit more.

~

               The next stream starts promptly at eleven. Another chorus of “HI NESTO!!!” and “CRUUUUZ” fills the chat, but Ernesto looks none-too-pleased. He lets out a sigh before sending a withering look to the camera.

               “So Cruzcitos, tell me this. What do you think is the best way to spend your birthday?”

               The chat rings in their answers.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Backstage passes to one of your shows.

hectorriveraseyelashes: And getting to pet Héctor’s hair for an hour.

veramaj: a nice dinner with my bf

musiica-vida: UM SORRY WHAT @hectorriveraseyelashes

hectorriveraseyelashes: You heard me.

Cruzita41: I would party ALL DAY!!!

               Ernesto nods at the answers that pour in (He does a double-take at one of them, and the chat is generally certain it’s hectorriveraseyelashes that earned it.), then huffs and shakes his head.

               “See, you all have good ideas on how to spend your birthdays. But Héctor…my friend Héctor decides that the best way to spend his birthday—”

               He turns the camera around, and the punchline of his joke is lost in the chat’s reaction.

musiica-vida: GLASSES?????

Cruzita41: GLASSES!!!!!

veramaj: since when does hector wear glasses?????

p0c0l0c0: GLASSES

musiica-vida: @HÉCTOR PLZ WEAR YOUR GLASSES ALL THE TIME

(hectorriveraseyelashes merely posts several crying faces and prayer hands)

               Héctor is tucked up on the sofa, green pen in hand and thick-framed glasses on his nose as he goes through several papers. Ernesto snorts as the reactions come in.

               “Héctor, look up.”

               Héctor sighs, but does in fact look up. “What?” he asks exasperatedly. (hectorriveraseyelashes floods the chat with various heart, crying, and prayer emojis)

               “Apparently you should wear your glasses more often.”

               “No.”

               (The disappointment in the chat is almost audible.)

               Ernesto sighs. “Sorry, Cruzcitos, but as you can see, Héctor Rivera is a tough man to sway. He won’t wear his glasses, and he spends his birthday grading papers.”

               “Well, they need to be graded by Monday. Do you have to shove that in my face? It’s hard enough reading these kids’ writing without a phone in my face.”

badnugg: omg profe héctor is actually youtube famous

musiica-vida: HE’S YOUR TEACHER??

badnugg: lol yeah

p0c0l0c0: IS HE A GOOD TEACHER???

hectorriveraseyelashes: IS HE HOT WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT MUSIC??

Littlebear119: I’m back!

Littlebear119: WAIT IS HÉCTOR WEARING GLASSES

veramaj: lol u missed a lot bear

               “Hey, Héctor, I think one of your students…” Ernesto trails off as the sound of a door opening comes from a distance. Héctor immediately perks up and smiles off screen.

               “Morning, chamaco. We’re going out for breakfast once I’m finished with these papers.”

musiica-vida: CHAMACO!!!!

p0c0l0c0: HI CHAMACO!!!

 Littlebear119: Who’s Chamaco?

hectorriveraseyelashes: It’s baby Héctor.

Cruzita41: Aww, did he just wake up? Buenos días, chamaco!!

Littlebear119: BABY HÉCTOR??

veramaj: it’s his nephew.

musiica-vida: Preeeetty sure he’s his kid. They look like exactly alike.

hectorriveraseyelashes: They definitely don’t. Also he calls Héctor Tío so checkmate.

Littlebear119: OH!!! HE’S SO CUTE!!!

               “The chat thinks you’re cute, Miguel,” Ernesto says as Miguel walks on-screen. Miguel sends him a surprised look and a shrug.

               “Thanks?”

               “Oyé, what did I say about filming Miguel?” Héctor asks, voice slightly sharp.

               “The kid has his own channel, it’s not like you’re hiding him,” Ernesto brushes off, then focuses the camera on Miguel. “So, Miguel, do you know what day it is?”

               “Uh, Sunday?”

               “Okay, but do you know the date?”

               Miguel presses his lips together, then looks down at Héctor for help. Héctor’s head falls back as he sighs.

               “It’s my birthday. Ernesto’s making it into a…thing.”

               Miguel’s eyes widen. “It’s your birthday?! Why didn’t you say anything?”

               “Because Héctor hates having fun,” Ernesto cuts in. “So Miguel, what do you want to wish your Tío Héctor on this very special day? He’s twenty-seven, you know.”

               Miguel blinks. “Oh. That’s how old you are?”

               Héctor returns to grading. “How old did you think I was?”

               “Super old. Like thirty-five.”

               The snort Héctor lets out is deemed pure and good by the chat.

               “Thirty-five?! Ay, Díos mio, then how old do you think Ernesto is?”

               “Anyway, Cruzcitos,” Ernesto says before Miguel can hazard a guess. “What are some of your wishes for Héctor’s twenty-seventh year on this earth?”

Cruzita41: I hope he has a wonderful year!!

p0c0l0c0: I hope he doesn’t join the 27 club :(

veramaj: what’s that?

Littlebear119: I hope you guys really make it big!! Being a teacher looks so boring

p0c0l0c0: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club

p0c0l0c0: Did the link work?

Littlebear119: OH NO :’(

veramaj: HÉCTOR PLEASE DON’T JOIN THAT CLUB

(hectorriveraseyelashes’ wish for Héctor is reported as inappropriate by several members.)

p0c0l0c0: Lashes plz

               “Aw, qué amable! Well, we are trying our best to get more gigs and…”

               Ernesto’s words are ignored, viewers instead focused on Miguel as he climbs onto the arm of the sofa and peeks down at what Héctor’s grading. Several heart emojis flood the chat as they talk too quietly to be heard over Ernesto’s talking. Héctor asks something, Miguel pulls a face, and Héctor laughs as he pulls off his glasses (much to the disappointment of the chat.)

               “All right, all right, I won’t let you starve, chamaco. I’ll bring these with me.” As he stuffs his papers into his backpack, he sends the camera with a withering look. “And if you bring out that—” The chat doesn’t miss the quick glance toward Miguel. “--darn phone while we’re out, Ernesto, I’m throwing it right into the street.”

               “And then you’re paying for it.” The camera switches back to Ernesto, where he gives a dramatic sigh. “Looks like that’s all for now, Cruzcitos.” He glances up as Héctor and Miguel’s voices trail off and a door shuts. He smiles, then adds in a whisper, “Come back around two. We’ll be having another stream then.”

               The screen goes black, and the chat is all abuzz.

Littlebear119: Héctor really doesn’t seem like he wants to do these streams…

p0c0l0c0: It’s part of an act they do. Héctor’s all smiles on whenever he’s on Chamaco’s channel.

Littlebear119: CHAMACO HAS A CHANNEL???

p0c0l0c0: YES AND IT’S THE SWEETEST THING.

p0c0l0c0: My heart grows three times bigger whenever I get a notification from him.

veramaj: yeah héctor’s definitely just playing.

Littlebear119: I hope he is.

hectorriveraseyelashes: I don’t care if he is. I’ll take any excuse to see that man’s beautiful face.

musiica-vida: WE KNOW, LASHES.

~

               The next stream starts without so much as a word from Ernesto. The chat goes quiet as the camera focuses on Héctor and Miguel. Both have their guitars in their lap, and Héctor picks out a simple tune.

               “Okay, no looking. See if you can play what I just did.”

               Miguel starts to pluck out the same tune, but he groans as he messes up a note. “It’s so hard!”

               “I know it’s hard, that’s why we’re practicing. You gotta train those ears just as much as your fingers, chamaco.” He plays the tune again. “All right, una vez más. I bet you’ll get it this time.”

querida9512: Can Héctor Rivera please be my dad?

p0c0l0c0: This is SO CUTE, I can’t handle it. Gracias, Nesto.

Littlebear119: Does Héctor know Ernesto’s filming?

veramaj: probably.

musiica-vida: It doesn’t seem like it, but I’m sure he doesn’t mind.

               A knock sounds out. Héctor doesn’t look up.

               “It’s open! All right, chamaco, play it one more time.” He turns and grins from his place on the floor as a woman pops her head in. “You’re just in time, diosa, Miguel’s just learned a song by ear.”

               The chat is a STREAM of activity.

querida9512: IS THAT THE POCO LOCO LADY???

hectorriveraseyelashes: Um, I am the Poco Loco lady.

Littlebear119: Diosa’s such a pretty name!

badnugg: wait, dire imelda?

querida9512: YOU KNOW HER????

badnugg: I think she’s the directora of my school…

badnugg: omg

badnugg: téodora was right about her and profe héctor

veramaj: she’s so pretty, she can’t work at a school

p0c0l0c0: Héctor works at a school.

veramaj: but she’s actually PRETTY.

p0c0l0c0: ARE YOU SAYING HÉCTOR ISN’T???

hectorriveraseyelashes: The rule in this stream is that we love and respect Héctor Rivera’s beautiful face.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Can we block @veramaj?

veramaj: omg u guys chill out

               Diosa smiles fondly as Miguel picks out the tune, correctly this time. (The chat is full of praise for him.) “Perfecto, Miguel. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you remembered that our reservations are at—” She glances up midway through the sentence, then freezes as her eyes lock onto the camera. She quickly pops her head out and slams the door shut.

               Héctor jumps at the slam, then glances down at Miguel before setting his guitar aside to get to his feet. “Imelda? Imelda!” he calls as he heads to the door and steps outside.

               Miguel’s brow furrows, but he looks up at the camera with a shrug. The camera moves slowly to the door, and the barest bits of conversation can be heard through it.

               “Why didn’t you warn me? I would have texted you.”

               “Warn you about what?”

               “That your roommate was filming.”

               “What? No, he wasn’t.”  

               “Did you not see the way he was holding his phone?”

               “He just does that sometimes.”

               “Well, why don’t you go and ask him?”

               “He wasn’t filming! He knows he has to ask before filming if Miguel’s in the room.”

               “He doesn’t have to ask with you?”

               “It’s different. This is what we make part of our living off of. I’m used to it by now.”

               There was an irritated huff. “I can’t help you there. But you’d better be taking care of that little boy.”

               “I am, Imelda.”

               A thrill goes through the chat as Héctor’s voice, quiet as it is, goes sharp, though everyone quickly quiets as they hear his sigh.

               “I’m sorry. It’s…been a long day. Would you believe I woke up at seven?”

               There’s murmuring outside, but it’s too quiet to be picked up by the mic. What is picked up is the creak of a doorknob and a bitten-off word from Ernesto before the screen quickly goes black.

p0c0l0c0: So…he didn’t ask permission?

Littlebear119: I thought it was off.

dlcswaifu: I’m sure it’s fine. Cruz probably thought Héctor knew.

veramaj: i hope so. i don’t want them to fight.

~

               There’s no announcement when the next stream is, so everyone is pleasantly surprised when they get a notification that Ernesto y Héctor is streaming an hour later. The first thing everyone sees is…

p0c0l0c0: CHAMACO!!!!

Cruzita41: CHAMACOOOOOO

Littlebear119: AAAAA it’s Miguelito!!!!

veramaj: omg look at that precious face.

               Miguel’s brow furrows as he tries to figure out how to best hold the phone, but he grins at everyone’s greetings. “Hola! Cruz let me take over the livestream for a little bit!”

Littlebear119: OH MY GOODNESS HOW PRECIOUS!!!

veramaj: we’ve been blessed today

querida9512: I mean we already knew November 30 was a holy day.

musiica-vida: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

p0c0l0c0: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

veramaj: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

dlcswaifu: @hectorriveraseyelashes BE GOOD

hectorriveraseyelashes: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS SHUT UP

hectorriveraseyelashes: Of course I’ll be good. My future step-son doesn’t need to know how thirsty I am for his tío.

               Miguel’s eyes dart down to the chat, reading the responses before frowning slightly. “Um, I don’t think you can drink my tío.”

               The chat collectively dies.

Littlebear119: So how are you doing, Miguel????

Cruzita41: We saw your practice earlier, you’re so good!!

dlcswaifu: Where’s Cruz???

               Miguel grins brightly as he catches the praise among the questions, then settles back in his seat. “I’m fine. Tío Héctor said that he and Cruz needed to talk for a bit, so Cruz set me up here so I could talk with you all!”

               There’s one comment from quetzalcoatl-kun about how they came for Cruz and not some stupid kid, but it’s quickly drowned out by the wild enthusiasm from other Cruzcitos over how they get to talk to Chamaco.

 musiica-vida: So big fandom question, are you Héctor’s kid or his nephew?

               “Actually, we’re primos! My abuelita is his tía,” Miguel chirps.

dlcswaifu: So do you live with him?

               “I do for now.”

dlcswaifu: Why?

               Miguel opens his mouth, but closes it and swallows hard without answering. The chat is quick to flood him with other questions.

p0c0l0c0: Is your tío a good teacher?

querida9512: You’re a fan of Cruz, too, right? What’s it like living with your YouTube idol?

hectorriveraseyelashes: On a scale of 1-10 how willing would you be to have me be your new tía?

veramaj: have u been to any of their concerts yet?

hectorriveraseyelashes: There hasn’t been a concert with both of them since Chamaco came around.

musiica-vida: Not that we mind! It’s so sweet to see Héctor taking care of his primo <3

veramaj: he could have gone to one before he lived with héctor

Littlebear119: What’s your favorite subject in school, Miguel?

querida9512: And when’s the next update on your channel?

               “Espera, espera, this is a lot!” Miguel laughs, discomfort gone as he scrolls up through the chat. “Tío Héctor’s a really good teacher, even though he keeps making me do boring things like scales. I used to watch Cruz’s videos to figure out how to play better, but now I can just ask him!” He scrolls a little more. “I really like math. Is that weird? Oh! And P.E.! I’m definitely the fastest on my class’s fútbol team.” He shrugs. “And I don’t really know about updates, I—” He stops suddenly, glancing up as a sharp voice comes from somewhere, just loud enough to be picked up over the mic. “I, uh…” He glances back at the phone. “One second.”

               He sets the phone down, livestream still going on. A creaking door is picked up over the mic, and the two voices are a little clearer. Nearly every viewer turns up their volume to max to catch what’s being said.

               “You’re absolutely sure you weren’t filming?”

               “Honestly, Héctor, it’s not like I can do it by accident. You’ve gotten so paranoid since bringing in the kid.”

               “I’m his godfather. I’m supposed to be.” A frustrated sigh. “Look, I’m done, okay? I don’t want anymore filming today. Just let me enjoy my birthday in peace.”

               “We wouldn’t have to do this if you’d come to the Día de Muertos show, you know.”

               “But you couldn’t even ask me before you burst in at seven a.m.?”

               “It wouldn’t have been funny if you knew. And it’s gotten us a stable audience all day.” There’s a beat of silence, then a long sigh. “Look, I’m sorry you’re bothered. I thought you’d be more game for this. Guess I was wrong.”

               “It’s…it’s fine. Just no more filming Miguel unless I know.”

               “I didn’t.”

               “I know, but you might. And if I find that damned iPhone around him I swear…”

               Miguel gives a little gasp, and quick footsteps come back toward the phone before he’s back onscreen.

               “Gotta go! I’ll see you all around!” he says, then quickly ends the livestream.

Littlebear119: So Héctor really didn’t know…

musiica-vida: Did…Ernesto lie to him?

dlcswaifu: He probably didn’t know he was filming.

querida9512: But he just said that he couldn’t do it by accident.

dlcswaifu: I’ve done a lot of dumb things by accident without knowing I could. He’ll probably delete the footage once he realizes.

veramaj: i think it’s scripted. cruz’s done drama things in the past; maybe the views are down.

musiica-vida: Ooh, that’s a good point. I think you’re right.

dlcswaifu: Nothing gets views like a fight and a kid.

Littlebear119: :/ I dunno. I feel weird about this stream.

~

               The last livestream comes late that afternoon. Once again, there’s no notice before the notification goes off on everyone’s phone, and everyone who can manages to pile in to the chat as quickly as possible.

               There’s a general air of confusion as they get a very nice shot of the kitchen.

               “Is it recording now?” Héctor asks off-screen.

               “I can’t see. Is there a red circle?” comes Miguel’s voice. The camera tilts, shifting the view to the ceiling. “Yeah, it’s recording, but you’ve got the wrong camera on.”

               “How do I change it?”

               “You see that camera button? Just tap it.”

               “Just tap—” The camera abruptly switches to selfie-mode, and Héctor’s obviously startled by it. “Ah! Okay! Okay, there we go. Hola!”

               The chat is FULL of heart emojis and !!!!!!!!!!!!!’s.

p0c0l0c0: FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS, HÉCTOR!!!!

musiica-vida: FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!!!!

Littlebear119: FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!! <3 <3 <3

(Needless to say, the chat is flooded with “FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS”es.)

Héctor looks caught off-guard by the response, then laughs. “Gracias, gracias! I’m, ah, I’m not really good with this whole livestreaming thing, but I wanted to thank you all for such wonderful wishes!”

musiica-vida: IT’S NOTHING WE LOVE YOU HÉCTOR <3 <3 <3

hectorriveraseyelashes: That blazer tho…

Littlebear119: We all hope you had a wonderful day!!!!

               “That’s, ah, that’s really all I have to say. I actually have to leave in…” He glances off-camera. “Now. But I wanted to let you all know that I appreciate your…” He trails off as the chat bursts to life again.

hectorriveraseyelashes: GLASSES.

p0c0l0c0: YES PLEASE WEAR YOUR GLASSES.

p0c0l0c0: JUST FOR A SECOND.

musiica-vida: HÉCTOR PLZ. DO IT FOR US.

hectorriveraseyelashes: GLASSESSSSS…

               He sighs as he looks over the chat. “Diosa, look at this.”

               The woman from earlier (“IMELDA!!!” as musiica-vida pointed out), just peeked over Héctor’s shoulder to look at the chat, then tilted her head up with a smirk.

               “See? It’s not just me who thinks you should be able to see.”

               “I can see just fine.”

               “It took you three times to hit the record button,” Miguel pipes up from off-screen.

               “Here.” Imelda looks down as something that sound suspiciously like a glasses case opens, and she holds up the glasses. “You should at least do it for your fans. And for me.”

               Héctor rolls his eyes, but smiles a bit as he leans down slightly so Imelda can slip them on. “Only if you wear your hair down on your birthday.”

               “Deal.” She smiles at him as he stands up straight and pats his cheek. “Muy guapo, cariño.”

               He shakes his head, then looks back at the camera. The chat has devolved into a mess of “SO CUUUUUTE!!!” and “SÍÍÍ MUY GUAPO” and more sparkle emojis and hearts than could be counted. (Save for hectorriveraseyelashes, who floods the chat with crying emojis.)

               “Well, that’s it for today. We really do appreciate your guys’ support, and thanks again for being part of one of the most memorable birthday’s I’ve ever had.” He gives a little wave with his free hand. “Adíos!”

               The video ends, and the chat is beside itself with delight—all the drama from the last stream completely forgotten.

Littlebear119: They’re all so cute I just can’t.

musiica-vida: I KNOOOWWW

hectorriveraseyelashes: I don’t know if I want to KILL Diosa or BE Diosa.

p0c0l0c0: Please choose “be”

hectorriveraseyelashes: FINE.

hectorriveraseyelashes: For now.

hectorriveraseyelashes: Those glasses, tho

dlcswaifu: I’M A CRUZ FANGRIL AND I LOVE THOSE GLASSES???

hectorriveraseyelashes: I found God in those glasses tonight.

badnugg: omg i can’t wait for school tomorrow.

hectorriveraseyelashes: #jealous

veramaj: i’m just so glad that everything’s all right. i knew it couldn’t be a real fight. cruz is way too nice for that.  

As always, thank you so, so much for reading! Wit’s got the next installment, so be sure to check over her way in the next week or so! Also we have tons of headcanons we’re ready to scream about at any given moment, so don’t be shy and come talk to us!

 Also, if you like my screaming-in-written-form and want to indulge my caffeine addiction, feel free to buy me a coffee (or not, of course.)

Thanks once again, and we’ll see you around!

[under-the-riverwolf-fanfiction]

Can Love Conquer All/Chapter 4

Hey guys, sorry that I haven’t updated in a while, I had stumbled across the horrible writer’s block, I’m not a hundred percent happy with this chapter, mostly because this isn’t something I’m used to writing. I more tend to dwell on writing dark stuff. this chapter isn’t very long, I know I keep saying that the next chapters will be longer and they will…..hopefully, lol. thank you for all lovely comments, it really does help encourage me to write. Anyway enough rambling, enjoy chapter 4!!! PLZ don’t hate me!

Read it on A03 It was around 12 am and Jughead was sitting on his bed when he heard a loud bang outside of his room. He stood up quickly at the noise. His dad wasn’t home. He was at a meeting in Auckland for three days. Jughead looked around his room quickly and found a bat, with it in his hands he quietly opened his door.

“Umph, crap.” Wait, he knew that voice.

“Betty?” he called out, as he reached the lounge. He found a flustered betty on the floor.

“Hey honey,” she replied with a guilty smirk

“What are you doing here Betts?” he said with a smile.

“Why are you holding a bat?” she replied, returning the smile.

Jughead completely forgot that he was holding the bat in the air. He lowered it and replied, “I thought you were a burglar or a murderer coming to kill me.”

Betty chuckled, and sat up.

“You didn’t answer my question. Why are you here?” he said, while helping her off the floor so she stood in front him. Their faces only inches apart.

“What!? Can a girl not miss her boyfriend,” she replied with a mocking tone.

Jughead wrapped an arm around Betty, pulling her close. Brushing his lips across hers, he teased her.

“At 12 am in the morning? Wow, you must really like me,” he mumbled against her lips.

“I could do worse,” Betty mocked.

Jughead smirked before he leaned in and captured her lips with his.

The time they stood there kissing felt too short. The only reason they broke apart was in need of oxygen. Jughead stepped back, finally taking in the sight of his girlfriend. She was wearing pajamas with little teddy bears on the pants and a picture of a teddy bear holding a heart on her shirt.

“Wow, teddy bears? I kind of thought you to be a unicorn kind of gal,” he mocked.

Betty looked at him with a mocked rage but he could see the smirk creeping up on her face. He chuckled at her attempt to be mad.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong Jones, I’m all about the teddy bears,” Betty snarked.

Jughead was conflicted of her tone, and thought offended her. She knew he was just teasing, right?

“Betts, baby, whats wrong?” he asked, reaching for her, but she took a step back.

“Nothing wrong.” Betty replied, pushing his hands away.

“Obviously something is, Betty. You’re here at twelve o'clock in the morning and you just got angry at me for teasing you,” he said reaching for her again. This time Betty let him grab her hands, pulling her closer to him, and she visually relaxed.

“I had a fight with my mom. I just wanted to be with you, you always make me feel better,” Betty said, almost whispering. “You always make me feel safe.”

Jughead pulled her into a hug. Slowly he reached up to run his hand down the hair of her ponytail, then clasped her neck and coaxed her head into the crook of his neck. He felt Betty’s arms wrap around his waist and her lips skim his neck.

This isn’t the first time Betty had come to his house upset about a fight with her mom, but normally she showed up around six. You know, practical and appropriate visiting hours and they would spend their afternoon together until Betty has calmed down. For her to show up now, meant an overwhelming sense of trust, and it warmed Jughead’s heart.

It had become a routine, Betty would turn up to his house every day for two weeks, but Betty and her mom had finally got to a good place and Betty had stopped coming around. Even though he missed her, it was good to see Betty happier. This confused Jughead, seeing her now so upset and at his place so late in the night…not that he minded…but it made him feel worried to the point he just wanted to hold her so all the sadness would melt away.

“I thought you guys were in a good place?” he asked softly

“We were, but she……it doesn’t matter what she did, I just want to forget her right now. Can I stay here the night?” Betty replied.

“Yes of course,” he replied, kissing her forehead.

He felt Betty snuggle closer into his neck. He enjoyed this, the closeness that they have. He doesn’t have it with anybody else. His mother left when he was twelve and took his little sister Jellybean with her. His dad stayed however, but he was a drunk that couldn’t stay straight long enough to keep a job. Jughead grew up not knowing what it was like to have a stable home.

He didn’t care to give much attention to girls before Betty, so his best friends thought he was gay, but Jughead knew that wasn’t a problem, he just needed to find the one girl that would capture his attention. That day in class, he was forced to move seats next to Betty, was the day that girl was found. She was beautiful, and he never wanted anybody more in his life. He honestly didn’t realise how he didn’t notice her before. It was like a switch in his brain went off the moment he saw her.

Now he had her. All snuggled up in his arms. He knew right then that he loved her. In a away it thrilled him but it also terrified him. He has never loved anyone except for Jelly bean and his dad, but his mom doesn’t fall under that category. Betty was the one person who made him feel optimistic, and it was the best thing that has ever happened to him.

He tilted his head so he can kiss her, leaning in close he paused just inches from her lips.That moment could be defined as the longest moment in history, but when when his lips brushed hers, it was more the satisfying. The kiss was meant to be short and sweet, but it quickly escalated.

Five minutes later, in a totally different room, Jughead had Betty on the kitchen counter, attacking her neck with kisses. With Betty’s legs wrapped around his waist and her hands gripping his hips, Jughead couldn’t help but wrap one hand up in her hair to feel the locks, for Betty’s hair tie was long gone and her hair was draping around her shoulders, sheltering them from the outside world.

Eventually, he noticed his other hand gripping her hip tightly and probably leaving bruises. Not giving it much thought, by the way Betty was stifling her moans. It was the best sound he’d ever heard.

“You know, I think this classifies as “later”, so you can express your enjoyment as much as you want now.” Jughead said as he smirked, and nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She’d promised him “later” in the diner yesterday, when public displays of affection were inappropriate…but now they were alone. He heard Betty giggle, and his eyes closed as he savoured the sound of her voice, the sound of her happiness, that he’d invoked.

“Juggy, do you mean–” Betty hesitated, feeling a pit of nerves unfurl in her lower belly. “I’ll never rush you, Betty. I was – I don’t know what I was suggesting.” “I feel so much for you Juggy, it’s just I’ve never done this.” “I know. Neither have I.”

“Juggy, I trust you.” “Is that your way of telling me it’s okay?” he muttered and brushed the hair out of her face. He needed to be sure. He needed to protect her, love her and keep her safe. Wait, love? Yes, love. He did love her, and he needed her to know. “Betty, I love you. More than anything. Regardless of what happens, I always will. I’ll never let anything hurt you, especially me.” “Juggy,” she whispered breathlessly.

A small smile appeared on his lips, and Betty’s action mirrored his own. Satisfied that she wouldn’t flee, he kissed her gently before lifting her by her thighs. Her legs wrapped around his waist tightly, as she clung to him, pressing kisses to his throat. He carried her to his bedroom, and the unspoken consent didn’t need to said because they trusted each other. The love they shared ensured each other’s heart would be safe. “I love you, Jug,” was the last thing Betty said, before they took that final leap.

————-

That deadly scream, could be heard from miles away. Cheryl was sitting on the edge of the bank at Sweetwater River when she noticed something floating downstream. She didn’t pay much attention to it, turning her gaze away from it, looking out at the sunrise.

What a beautiful day, she thought. That thought would soon be clouded.

The subject in the water was suddenly getting bigger, a smell of rotting flesh following it. Cheryl stood and moved closer to the water’s edge trying to get a better look at the object. She thought it might be a log with a rotten possum in it.

As the object got closer, the smell got heavier and the shape that once looked straight and narrow now looked like it had arms and legs.

She noticed it then, it was a body. And not just any body. The realization made her scream.

It was the body of Archie Andrews with a single bullet hole in his chest

[doomedgeomorph]

(SAOIRSE RONAN, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) — ✧ that looks like LYKKE NIELSEN! they’re the NINETEEN ( THIRTY-SEVEN ) year old , known as PETRA. i hear they’re COURAGEOUS  & TACTICAL, but tend to be DISTRUSTFUL & PESSIMISTIC. She is a STUDENT ( catching up on high school ) at paragon.

tw: sexual harassment, tw: pedophilia mention ( sorta ? i wanted to make sure tho ? I didn’t go into detail ), tw: verbal abuse mention

Also a bit long cuz she’s obscure so I wanted detail :D

Okie so here is my fave X-Men of all time, don’t ask why IDK I just have always liked her.

Petra is the daughter of two Danish immigrants. She had an older brother who was also born in Denmark, but she was the first family member born in America ( she had no canon name so I picked one). He family was killed in a landslide when she was 11 while they were out hiking and for reasons at the time that even she did not know she escaped unscathed despite being in the middle of it.

She was placed in foster care where she bounced around a bit til a family kept her. If you could call it a family. She and five other foster kids all lived in the same room and it became abundant;y clear that the couple was only taking in kids for the support money. The woman was emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive and the man had a tendency to give her and the other girls unwanted attention.

When she was 16 her foster father brought her and a couple of the other kids out on a picnic where he tried to touch her inappropriately. She panicked and he ended up waist deep in a sinkhole that appeared out of nowhere. This i the moment she discovered she was a mutant. She fled from the scene amid her foster father shouting slurs at her for being a mutant.

For the next couple years she would live by her wits and learn to use her powers as an aide, finding she could mold and move any earth based material at will ( ie, dirt, glass, stone, lava, sand, etc. ) and could ‘airsurf’ on a board made from any earth material helped in part by her mild aerokinesis. She also found she could create diamonds from coal, a trick that would help her pay to get off the streets but would also eventually get her arrested.

After her arrest she was taken in by Moira McTaggert and went to live with her and three other teens:  Armando Muñoz ( aka Darwin ), Gabriel Summers ( aka Vulcan ) & Suzanne Chan ( aka Sway ). In the care of Moira, Petra would feel herself for the first time in a while and would become close friends with the other kids. 

One day Xavier would turn up and try to convince Moira to allow the teens to go on a near suicide mission to rescue the real X-Men from the clutches of a sentient mutant island, Krakoa. She refused so he manipulated her telepathically into releasing the teens to his custody then he falsely implanted memories of training and being x-men into the minds of Petra and her friends. Despite their best efforts they failed to save anyone but Cyclops whom they managed to return to the x-jet in a state of semi consciousness before the island killed them.

Humiliated by the tragedy, X wiped all memories of the teens from everyone’s minds, effectively making it as though they never had existed. 

In this version, she and Sway accidentally combined their powers to create a time capsule of sorts where the two managed to stay in a state of suspended animation for almost 2 decades before being found.

TL;DR:  Petra is an orphaned Geomorph stuck out of her time in a world she doesn’t know. Trust issues abound but she has a certain fondness for any non-telepathic mutants and/or anyone taken care of by Moira or betrayed by Xaivier. ( she distrusts telepaths by default, but as long as ur name ain’t Charles Xavier she’s willing to give u a chance )

Wanted Types of Connections:

I’d love anyone who may have known her as a teen, especially seeing she’s still stuck as one and being a friendly face through her navigating the change in times

SWAY. PLZ BRING SWAY ! Suzanne is a time manipulator, able to freeze time around objects or people and to replay past ( and possibly future ) scenarios and events. Her parents were from Hong Kong, so if you wanna play her ( i’d love u forever ) plz keep this in mind while choosing a fc. She should be around 19 in appearance though due to the time capsule she’d be mid thirties.

On that note DARWIN ! In the comics he used his reactive evolution power to meld with Vulcan who had something something i don’t remember that made it so they survived, so he is alive and probably older than them in appearance. He is Afro-Hispanic !

A big Xavier fanboy for her to butt heads with. She hates Xavier with a passion for what he did to her and her friends.

Literally any type of brotp, friendship, enimies, frenemies etc connection I love em all

A tutor would be great so she can catch up on high school level stuff since she was on the street for most of that age.

[anoldwound]

No I in Threesome - Jack/Sendhil, Greg/Sendhil - RPS

Title: No I in Threesome Rating: R Characters/Pairings: Jack/Sendhil, Greg/Sendhil Word Count: 1849 Warnings: Sex stuff, infidelity, suggested threesomes. Small spoiler for 2x02. Recipient: medoroa Prompts: Tokyo, cigarettes, “I’m really bad at that” Disclaimer: I am, of course, in no way insinuating that any of this is real. This is entirely fictional, and these guys are merely my puppets being treated as fictional characters. Plz no sue kthnx. Summary: All it takes is one miniscule little incident---one tiny little blip in the grand scheme of things---and suddenly your entire world is thrown off-balance and you are desperately clinging onto the edges of normalcy with a weak, slipping grasp. A/N: For the heroes_rps fic exchange. Enjoy! ^_^ He had this itch, you see. A really bad one. It was in his hair and on his chest and under his arms. It was in his brain. It was on his…well, you know. This itch was Jack Coleman. It was a rather strange phenomenon that had only occurred recently, and seemingly out of nowhere. The universe was odd like that. All it takes is one miniscule little incident---one tiny little blip in the grand scheme of things---and suddenly your entire world is thrown off-balance and you are desperately clinging onto the edges of normalcy with a weak, slipping grasp. The whole thing had started when, upon entering Jack’s dressing room to run over lines, he had caught him dragging on a cigarette.   “Jack! What is this?!” he cried with mock astonishment as Jack noticed him and hastily put out the cigarette in an ashtray. “What’s what?” he asked innocently. Sendhil quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “You were smoking, weren’t you?” “No I wasn’t.” “Sure looked like you were.” “Well, I guess your eyesight isn’t so great. You should get that checked out.” “Just admit that you were smoking, Jack.” “Okay. Fine. I was smoking. Are you happy now?” “Now, sarcasm won’t get you very far, will it?” Jack took a deep breath and fell back in his seat. “Okay, yes, I was smoking.” “Good. Feel any remorse?” “Not really.” “For shame.” Jack smirked and took another cigarette out of his pocket. “You only live once.” He pulled out a lighter, and flames burst up elegantly. Holding the cigarette between two fingers, he brought the tip to the dancing orange and yellow and slowly exhaled, a stream of wispy smoke shooting out from between his lips. Sendhil stared. Jack looked up at him. “What?” “Huh? Oh, nothing…” He felt the oddest little blush creep up his neck, and he made a strange gesture towards his script and mumbled something like “Wasgonnaworkonlinesbutyeahokaybye,” and quickly scampered out the door. Well, shit, he thought as he ran back into his own dressing room. This can’t be good. It wasn’t. It wasn’t good at all. Because now here he was, peering over the top of his newspaper to catch a glimpse of Jack fucking Coleman, all thoughts of his wife and kid totally wiped from his memory. Obviously Jimmy was behind this. He was snapped from his reverie when Greg hit him over the head with the shooting script. “Mr. Daydreamer over here,” he chuckled as Sendhil glared up at him. “It’s not very polite to assault people with scripts, you know,” Sendhil said dryly. “I consider it my personal duty to hit you whenever I possibly can.” Greg beamed. “I mean, c’mon. It’s one of my favorite pastimes!” Sendhil rolled his eyes and let his gaze fall back on Jack. It was like some sort of weird magnetic force field was around him or something. He just couldn’t look away. “What’re you staring at Jack for?” Greg asked, looking also. “No reason,” he said. “Hmm.” Greg stroked his chin and gave Sendhil a mischievous look. “Someone’s got a cru—u—ush,” he sing-songed teasingly, but there was something…odd in the way he said it. “I do not,” Sendhil said, too defensively, and a strange expression flickered across Greg’s face. “I don’t,” he said again, calmly this time, and grabbed an apple from the crafts table. “I’m gonna go over lines now. See you in a bit.” And he strolled casually towards the dressing rooms, taking a large, juicy bite out of his apple while Greg stared after him. *** “You’ve been staring at me an awful lot lately,” Jack commented several weeks later while they were having lunch. “Huh?” The spaghetti hung stupidly out of the side of his mouth. “Whaddaya---” He swallowed. “What do you mean?” “What I said. You’ve kinda been leering at me these past few weeks,” he said casually, wiping his mouth neatly with a napkin. “Any reason why?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, and coughed. “I think you do.” Sendhil stared at him wordlessly, caught in the trap of Jack’s gaze, when suddenly Jack’s lips were brushing against his. “What---” “Shh,” Jack hissed in his ear, and ran his finger tantalizingly down Sendhil’s neck. “I know you want this.” Sendhil shivered. Jack brought his mouth to his again, and Sendhil wrapped his arms around Jack’s waist. The space between them suddenly disappeared as Sendhil sat himself on Jack’s lap and slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. Jack moaned and Sendhil felt an unexplainable rush course through his veins. “Hey, guys, what do you think would happen if---” Jack and Sendhil snapped apart. Greg was standing in the doorway, holding a Krispy Kreme doughnut, his mouth hanging open. “If…if I put this…uh, never mind,” he muttered, and quickly side-stepped out the door, slamming it shut. They looked at each other. “Should we continue?” Sendhil asked. “Don’t see why not,” said Jack, and kissed Sendhil’s jawline. *** “So. You’re gonna be in Asia.” “Yep.” “And I’m going to be in Europe.” “Looks like it.” “Well, this kinda sucks.” “Yeah. I was looking forward to humping you in front of the Eiffel Tower.” “You’re just a barrel of laughs, aren’t you.” “Who else is going with you, again?” “I think it’s…Adrian, Milo…and Hayden. Ali’s going with you, right?” “Yeah, so are Masi and Greg.” “Oh, geez. Greg.” “Ha, yeah.” “I think he has a crush on you.” “Oh, stop. You’re embarrassing me.” “Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “Okay, I’ll be sure to have an orgy with everyone in the cast.” “Laugh riot. You’re a laugh riot.” “You know it.” *** It was their fifth round of sake, and things were getting a bit…friendly. “Tokyo is just the greatest, ain’t it, Sendhil?” Greg asked, playfully shoving Sendhil’s leg with his foot. “It’s awesome. I never, ever wanna leave,” he proclaimed, and downed another cup. “Ever.” “Hey! Me neither! Isn’t that weird? Hey, I wanna show you something!” “Oh my God, what is it?!” He had no idea why he was so excited. “It’s totally friggin awesome. You have to come see it. It will BLOW YOUR MIND.” Greg pulled on his arm and started dragging him out of the bar. “What is this totally amazing thing that you feel the need to show me?” Sendhil asked as he was shoved into a large closet, Greg closing the door shut behind him. “This,” he said, and suddenly slammed Sendhil against the wall and started kissing him fiercely. “What’re you---” But Greg was licking his collarbone, and all thoughts came to a screeching halt. “I’ve wanted you for such a long time,” Greg said softly. Sendhil felt his pants tighten. I’m gonna wind up having sex with everyone in the cast, aren’t I, he thought idly to himself as the pants were discarded. Oh, well. He could live with that. *** “You and Jack,” said Greg after they were finished. “What about me and Jack?” He pulled up his pants and zipped the fly. “That…thing that happened. Is it a regular thing, or…?” “Kinda, yeah. That was the first time, though. When you caught us.” “Oh. Okay.” He looked a little disappointed. “So…yeah. Right. Okay. See you around.” And he hastily pulled on his shirt and left. *** “So, how was Asia?” “It was…fine. How was Europe?” “Completely insane. I sent you those pictures of me in lederhosen, didn’t I?” “Oh, right.” “Something wrong?” “Nope. Everything’s fine.” “Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to do something very inappropriate right now.” “What---oh. Ah…feel free to do this any time you want…” “Oh, I will.” “Urgh…um…something…something happened in Tokyo…” “What happened?” “It---oh, God---um, there was sake involved---ah…” “Maybe we should discuss this some other time?” “Best idea you’ve had yet.” “No. That’s not my best idea. This is.” “Holy---!” “Yes. Yes, I am.” *** Sendhil bit his lip as he stared at his script that he wasn’t actually reading, just staring at. He needed something to focus on, after all. Something to focus on besides the fact that Greg and Jack were in the same room with him and thus the destruction of the world was imminent. He still could not believe that he was even in this situation. “So, Greg,” said Jack, propping his feet up on the coffee table, “I hear you and Sendhil had quite the time in Tokyo.” Greg looked at him, and Sendhil felt himself blush. He raised the script up in front of his face. “Yeah…yeah, we did. Is that…is that a problem, or…?” “What? Oh, no, of course not. Why would I have a problem with it?” “I dunno. I mean, I’d have a problem with it, if I were you.” “Why?” “I wouldn’t want to share him.” Oh, for the love of… Sendhil thought, but said nothing. “I’m sharing him already. In case you forgot.” “What, with me?” He sounded confused. “With his wife.” “Oh, right! Duh. I’m an idiot.” “We’re all sharing each other, really,” Jack continued, as Sendhil listened on, still not believing that this conversation was actually happening. “We all have wives. Families. We’ve got this trinity of infidelity going on here.” “Trinity of Infidelity,” Greg chuckled. “I like that.” “Me too.” It seemed like the discussion was, thankfully, over, so Sendhil lowered his script and actually started to read it. Then Greg had to go and say: “You know, we should have a threesome.” Sendhil choked on his own spit, and Jack looked up in some alarm. “Excuse me?” he asked politely. “You know. A threesome. It would solve all of our problems.” “I didn’t know that we had any problems with this arrangement.” “Just think about it. It would be awesome.” “I…I don’t think so,” Sendhil choked out, his fingernails leaving indents on the pages. “Sure it would! You could have both of us at the same time. It’d be so hot. No lie.” Sendhil shook his head fervently, not daring to look up from the line, You’ve given me everything I need. Wait, why did he have this script? They had shot this episode already… “Are you sure?” Greg sounded rather dejected. “Yeah. I am. I’m just…I’m really bad at that.” “At what?” “Threesomes.” Jack burst out laughing. “How are you bad at threesomes?” “I dunno. I just am. Me and Olga tried it once. It was…a disaster. To put it mildly.” “Well, if you guys ever change your minds, the offer still stands,” said Greg, and chose that opportune moment to leave. Sendhil sighed with relief and tossed his old script to the side. “Thank God that’s over.” “Hmm. I dunno. The idea is intriguing, I have to say.” Sendhil sputtered with indignation. “You’re not suggesting that---!” “Not with Greg, no. But maybe with someone else…” Jack sidled up next to him and kissed his neck. “Like Zach, maybe.” He felt his eyes bulge out of his head, but forgot everything when Jack placed his hand in a strategic location. It was official. His life was completely, totally insane. And he loved it.