#don’t usually do sci fi but hey ho

[chobit92]

Smile! 😀😅

[gay-salt-amber]

What happened to Kenma?

( ships: Kuroken, Kenhina, sugawara x daichi and others on the side)

Kenma stood there, eyes wide as Kuroo continued to yell, "You know what?! If you hate it so much here, just fucking leave!"

"I never said that!" Kenma retorted, holding back tears

"Well it sure sounded like you did!"

"All I want is you to pay attention to me once in a while.."

"I do that all the time! I do it during practice, the walk ho-"

"Yeah, you do that when other people are around.. You rarely do it when we're alone anymore..." The pudding haired teen hissed back

"Well I'm sorry if I have work to do Kenma!"

"What work?! The only work we had was a group project that we both FINISHED A WEEK AGO!" I yelled

Then without saying another word, a hand hit my cheek, hard.

Kenma stood there silent, sighed and walked to his room, to get away from me instead of trying to fix things. I marched back up to my room, booting up my Switch, plugging my earbuds in and tried to space out. But even the soft music of my Animal Crossing Island couldn't calm me down. I finished my daily Animal Crossing tasks and turned off the Nintendo Switch with a sigh. I stood up, walked over to its charging port and put in back into the port before flopping onto my bed and screaming into my pillow.

I wanted to vent, I wanted to scream to someone, I needed to open up. But I can't do that.. They'll just turn me away.. I let out a sigh and checked my phone, looking through the group chat I shared with Karasuno, they added me since Hinata wanted me to chat with others. Even Sugawara, their substitute setter considered me his son, showing me the same parental love he showed Hinata all the time. I started talking in the chat but I could tell they knew something was off.

--------------Karasuno GC--------------

(name key: Sugamama: Sugawara Noya: Nishinoya Gaymer: Kenma Saltyshima: Tsukishima Milk Man: Kageyama Tangerine: Hinata God: Asahi Simp: Tanaka Dachi: Dad)

Sugamama: Are you doing ok Kenma? You're never this quiet..

Noya: Yeah dude what's wrong?

Gaymer: Ah.. I'm fine, just a lot on my mind

Saltyshima: Damn our little gamer must have lost at a boss or something

Milk man: I doubt he would be like this if that was the case.

Tangerine: Yeah! Kenma please tell us what's wrong!

--------------Real life--------------

Should I tell them? I should probably tell Sugawara or Daichi I feel like they would know best what to do.. Yeah, but how do I go about that? Thoughts then whirled around in my head, maybe I can go stay at their house for a bit. I mean, I cant stay here, I wouldn't really feel safe, no happy... Wait why don't I just stay with Shoyo?...Right he already has his sister to watch, I don't wanna bother him more.

I stood up, snuck downstairs, looking for Kuroo, luckily he wasn't in the living room, he was in his room. I quietly opened the storage closet and got out a few bags, I also covered the hand mark with makeup while I was at it, after a few minutes of applying foundation and such, I tried to go as fast as I could back up the stairs without arousing suspicion. I made it to the door, winded from walking so fast. I quickly stuffed about 5 sets of clothes in one bag and my game stuff, like my laptop and Switch stuff into the other. I have other consoles and games but my laptop and Switch have the most on them. I grabbed my phone, charger and earbuds, called an Uber.

I waited outside with my hood up so if Kuroo looked out he wouldn't recognize it was me. About 5 minutes later I spotted the Uber, I check my messages with a driver by the name of Josh to confirm it. Low and behold I was right. I grabbed my stuff and got into the car, gave them Sugawara's address and we drove for about 20 minutes in silence. I sat listening for the same playlist on loop, it was a playlist Hinata made for me, I loved it so much. Then as soon as I got into the car, it seemed, the drivers voice echoed on the leather interior of the car.

"Hey, this your stop, kid?"

"Y-yeah, thank you.." I nodded, handed him money and got out of the car, he drove off, leaving me nervous to ask for help from my practically adopted family I took my earbuds out, looped them around my phone, sighed and walked to the door

--Sugawara pov--

"So, what are we doing for dinner, Daichi?"

"Uh, how about we get take out from that Chinese place you love?"

"We had that last week though.."

"Do you still want it, Suga?"

"I guess so, I mean yeah, I do love their food."

"Well If you want it, I'll order some."

"Alright thank you!"

I plopped myself down on the couch with a good book, it was titled The Shadow of the Phoenix. Its a sci-fi story about a bunch of secret agent kids. Its quite the entertaining and tear-jerking read.

Then I heard a knock at the door, "Daichi? Was the Chinese food meant to get here that quick?" "Uhh, I don't think so.."

I sat my book down stood up and walked to the door, to see a cold, red-cheeked Kozume Kenma.

"Kiddo? What are you doing here?"

"Uh.. I'll explain, can I come inside though..?" He looked sad and his voice was even quieter the usual

"Oh of course! I don't want my son freezing!" I grabbed his arm lightly, walked him into the living room and got him settled on the couch. I got a few blankets for him and let him get relaxed before asking anything, pressuring the Nekoma boy who already had anxiety and stress issues who I cared so deeply about is the last thing I want!

"Hey Daichi?"

"Yes?" Daichi walked into the room, seeing Kenma on the couch

"Why are you here kiddo?"

"..."

My face softened more and I gave him a smile, "Tell us whenever you're ready ok? You like Chinese food right? We can order you some! if eating will help."

Kenma's face finally rose from the blankets "Yeah, that sounds nice, thank you a lot mom." The pudding haired kid gave me a light smile

"Alright, I'll go and get the food, if anything happens while I'm gone, call me ok?" Daichi's words were directed to both of us obviously but he was clearly meaning Kenma more then me.

"OK, don't take too long ok?"

"I know, see you later Suga." He planted a kiss on my forehead and was out.

"Can I have a thing of water please?"

"Of course sweetie!" I got up, got him a glass of ice water, I remembered he liked to chew ice sometimes so I got him some more slushy like ice so he doesn't break his teeth. I then spotted that we have some Ritz Crackers so I got a small napkin full of those for him just incase he wants them. I walked back into the room and sat next to Kenma, handing him the water.

"....I am ready to tell you why I'm here.." Kenma whispered, taking a sip of the water, crunching on the ice that came with it.

"Go ahead kiddo, you can stop if you get overwhelmed ok? I am right here, remember that."

"Thank you, Suga." He let out a deep breath before continuing,

"Well.. Me and Kuroo were arguing, which happens.. More then I care to admit." That set a red flag off in my head right away but I kept listening.

"And he hasn't been his usual affectionate self, so I brought it up and he got defensive, saying that he has work to do and he already shows me enough affection." The boys voice grew shaky but he pulled through and continued,

"I pointed out that the last time he showed me affection was about 6 hours earlier when we were at practice.. So.. I think he may just be showing me attention around other people now and I don't know how to feel."

I reached forward and hugged the small anxious setter, "The fact that you even think that is a problem." I whispered, not wanting to speak loud and make the situation worse,

"Really? I thought I may have been over-reacting.." Those words made my heart want to sink like an anchor

"Kenma, kiddo, for as long as I've known you, you never over react, you are rational and think things through. So I don't think you were wrong for coming here, nor wrong for thinking that Kenma was doing it for attention."

Through tears, Kenma, almost silently, "... Thank you mom.."

"Its no problem kiddo." I ran my fingers through his hair, this type of thing helped Hinata and the other first years calm down and it seems that Kenma isn't any different.

"I'm sorry if I cause you trouble but.. Can I stay here for a while? I'm just not very comfortable going back to Kenma's place."

"Of course, you can stay forever if you really wish, I will let you stay here as long as you need."

Kenma then pulled away from my hug and sat up taking another drink and munching on the crackers. Spending the next minutes in peaceful, relaxing silence.

--Kenma pov--

Eventually Daichi came through the door with bags of food, "Welcome back!"

"Hey.." I greeted quietly.

Daichi sat the food on the kitchen counter and came back to the living room, "Are you holding up better, Kenma?"

"A little, I guess."

"That's good."

I stood up and went to the kitchen, "Kenma! The one in the middles yours by the way!" Daichi called from the other room.

I curiously opened up the middle bag, 'How'd he know what to get me...' I thought I looked into the bag and saw that inside was a thing of fried rice, sweet and sour chicken and egg rolls. I smiled as I got myself a plate. A few seconds later, Daichi and Suga came in.

"Uh.. Kenma..?" Daichi's voice sounded astonished

"Yeah, Is something the matter? Did I do something?"

"No. But, why is there a hand print looking mark on your cheek..?"

Sugas face went from nice to murderous in 1 second, "Was it Kuroo?" He asked, more seriously then I had ever heard.

"Mhm.. It was."

"We will get that patched up after dinner ok?" Suga said, snapping back into mama-Suga mode.

"Ok, thank you."

I got my food and went back to the couch and ate quickly, this was more then I've ate in a while. Which isn't Kuroos fault at least I don't think.. I just don't eat much since I get fat easy even though Shoyo says I don't. But to say I was in food heaven was a understatement. I drank the rest of my water, fishing the rest of the ice out with my finger, I stood up, took my dishes to the sink, washed them and put them away.

"Thanks Kenma, you didn't have to do that though." Sugas voice rang out through the large kitchen as he walked up and put his dish in the sink to was later. Daichi came into the room and handed Suga a few medical items,

"Lets fix that mark eh?"

"Yes, thanks." After a while of silence, bandaging and such Suga spoke again

"Anyway, I should probably show you to the guest room, yeah?"

I nodded and walked to the living room to grab my stuff and got shown to the guest room, it was rather nice, it had a door that led to its own bathroom, a good sized closet and a desk. The bed itself looks like I could just flop right down.

"Remember that time I asked what type of blankets and that type of stuff you liked?"

"Yes, why?"

He pointed to some bedsheets and pillows under the nightstand "I got some of that for you, I knew you would stay here eventually so I wanted to make you the most comfortable."

The stack even had a nice little plush on top and the sheets looked amazingly comfy.

"Thank you, you really didn't have to do this all for me.."

"Nonsense! You're my child of course I did. I do the same thing for all my kiddos."

My head titled to the side confused, "Really?"

"Yeah Tsuki and Yamaguchi have their own room here too since their parents aren't great and they need somewhere to stay, Also Hinata shares this room with you when ever he's here."

"That's good."

'It amazes me how far he would go for someone like me.'

"Thank you, again, really, I am grateful that you would do this for me."

"No problem kid." Suga gave me a final hug and wished me a good night.

As he left I got my bed made, my Switch and my phone plugged in and got everything set up like I wanted, I sat looking at my phone and talking to Shoyo

---Texts---

Kenma: Sunflower Hinata: My little orange

My little orange: So, you're staying at Sugawara's and Daichi's?"

Sunflower: Mhm, they are really nice.

My little orange: That's good! Hey how about us and the rest of the team get together for lunch tomorrow? You know get your mind off of Kuroo.

Sunflower: Where at?

My little orange: How about Lonesome Dove Café? I can talk to mom about getting a large table booked

Sunflower: That sounds nice, sure."

My little orange: Ok! Lets get into the group chat and tell the others.

Sunflower: I love you Shoyo

My little orange: I love you too!

--------------Karasuno GC--------------

Tangerine: Hey guys!

Saltyshima: Why the fuck are you up at 2 AM

Yams: Tsuki relax! It might be serious!

Milk man: What is it boke?

Tangerine: Well, I'll have Kenma explain.

Sugamama: Is this about today?

Dad: I would assume it is

God: I wonder what happened

Simp: Yeah, I'm not sure.

Gaymer: Well, me and Kuroo got into a bad fight so I am staying at Suga and Daichi's place

Yams: Oh! What happened?!

Gaymer: I told him that I didn't like how he wasn't giving me attention and he yelled at me and slapped me.

Milk Man: Oh shit, do you want us to do anything?

Tangerine: Well, we were wondering if we can go to lunch at the Lonesome Dove Café tomorrow for lunch

Saltyshima: Cant make it-

Yams: Yeah me and Tsuki are going!

Milk man: Yeah I'll go

Everyone else: Same here!

Sugamama: I'll book the table! Its for 17 right?

God: I would assume so

Dad: We'll book it!

Tangerine: Also, Kenma are we still on for coffee?

Kenma: Yeah, are Yams, Kags and Tsuki still coming?

Milk Man: Yeah

Saltyshima: I guess

Yams: Ofc! Why wouldn't we be?

Dad: Ok, you guys get sleep.

Sugamama: Yeah, have a good night but if anything comes up, don't hesitate to call me or Daichi

Everyone: Night everyone!

--------------Real life--------------

I sighed happily wishing Shoyo a good night in our own private messages. I turned off my phone and turned to lay on my back on the bed and fell into a nice peaceful sleep. Instead of nightmares chasing me around my head, it was just me and Shoyo being friends and enjoying a nice day. It was a dream I never wished to end but alas, it sadly ended but it ended with Shoyo walking me home, seeing me off then I awoke.

I sat up, the alarm read: 6:00 I'm going to get coffee in a bit so I threw on a hoodie and gray sweatpants, and put on a choker with a cat on it, I also put on a little necklace Shoyo got me. I sighed, blushing at the thought of Shoyo.. Being in his arms, him running his fingers through my hair, wearing his hoodie... What am I thinking he doesn't like me like that.. But I can still dream no? I walked out the door to be greeted by Suga and Daichi

"Morning Kenma! Did you sleep well?" Daichi called from the couch

"Yeah, I haven't slept that well in a while." I said, happily

Suga stood up to go refill his coffee and turned to me with a smile, "Good! I'm glad to hear that, did I get the right blankets and such for you?"

I nodded, "Mhm."

"So you're going out with the others?"

"Yes, we do everyday when we have time." I explained

"Good! It's nice that you're socializing more." Daichi let out a happy chuckle before checking his phone.

"Yeah, I'll be back for lunch though, we're heading out at 12:45, right?"

"Yes we are, have fun Kenma." Suga waved as I put my shoes and left the house

It didn't take long for me to spot the Karasuno students coming down the street to come pick me up, while the others casually walked Hinata ran up, gave me a hug, said hi and waited for the others.

"Slow down boke!" Kageyama yelled

"Yeah we cant all run like we're on drugs." Tsuki commented

Yamaguchi chuckled, "I don't mind it, at least they let us catch up."

We all laughed as everyone caught up. We kept walking to the square where the coffee shop, after walking for a bit, with still about a 15 minute walk left to go, Shoyo, the orange haired, adorable first year, brushed his hand against mine, showing that he wanted to hold hands. I blushed but I slowly grabbed holding it lightly but securely.

"Hey lovebirds! Hurry it up!" Tsuki yelled from up ahead, from which I could see his green haired freckled faced boyfriend flick him lightly on the cheek to get him to stop being annoying for 5 minutes.

We caught up quickly and we were all just on our phones, sending stuff to each other and just talking about shit in the news,

"Holy crap you guys need to see this!"

"What is it?" I asked looking over at Yamaguchi's phone

"Apparently news is spreading about Hinata and Kenma being together even thought, you two haven't made it official, right?" He explained, everyone in the group shook their head and we just played off as dumb press and kept talking until we reached the square.

"Uh Kenma..?" Hinata whispered, which was unlike him

"Is something wrong?" Everyone else asked

Hinata pointed at a face I didn't wanna see..

Kuroo...

I didn't wanna see him.. What the hell would I say to him?! Like oh I'm sorry I left you because you're a piece of shit?

Tsukishima let out a groan, "Hey King."

Kageyama scoffed, "Don't fucking call me that."

The blonde ignored him though, "You wanted to have a word with Kuroo after yesterday right?"

The noirnette nodded

"Well, how about the rest of us get Kenma into the café and you have a talk with him so he doesn't question Kenma, since we don't want anything to happen." The words leaving the middle blockers mouth were rather sweet considering how he normally is.

"Sure, that's actually a good idea." Hinata agreed

"Thanks Tsuki~!" Yamaguchi gave a big smile and kissed the rim of Tsukishima's glasses before walking away, with the rest of us following.

We made it to the café scratch free minus the fact that we could hear Kageyama from a block away yelling at that fucking rooster. We quickly entered the café and got seated. I ordered a frappe, Shoyo got a Mocha Java coffee and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi got a Hawaii Kona coffee and a small cake to share. We were there sipping on our coffees when my phone started to blow up with calls and messages.

"Kuroos calling you, isn't he?" Shoyo asked, looking at my phone

I nodded, turning my sound off so it doesn't bother me

"You know when we go to lunch, if he's still calling you, you can just have Daichi deal with it! He's really good and handling calls like that." Yamaguchi was correct, I had seen Daichi help Shoyo a few times.

I nodded and continued to sip on my coffee. After another 5 minutes past, Kageyama came into the café with dirt smudging his face.

"Did our king get all rough and tough in the dirt with that rooster?" Tsukishima said, both teasing and asking

"Yeah, the guy wanted to fight yet, I kicked his ass. He's knocked out in the park at the moment." The raven haired boy sighed as he sat down

I looked over at Kageyama and nodded as a thanks. For the rest of the time we sat sipping on our drinks, Tsukishima was blushing wildly at the green haired boy offering him cake, Shoyo was still holding my hand and Kageyama was just telling the story of how he kicked Kuroos ass. We were having a good time and I was happy for the people around me, I checked my phone and spoke

"Hey its about 8:00 a clock, shouldn't we head back? We need to get ready for that lunch thing right?" I exclaimed to the rest of the booth

Everyone nodded in agreement. Everyone got up and threw away the drinks while Kageyama paid for everything which didn't happen often he just said, 'I have some money to spend.' or something. Although I highly doubt that's the real reason. We walked back and as we were walking we spotted Kuroos knocked out body, me and Tsukishima laughed a bit at it but kept walking.

"Thank you for everything today, guys." I said quietly as we were passing Yamaguchi and Tsukishima's houses, Yamaguchi gave Tsukishima a light peck on the lips before walking to his houses porch leaving a blushing tsundere Tsukishima on the sidewalk with the rest of us.

"Oh its not problem Kenma! Don't worry about it." Yamaguchi waved us a goodbye and entered his house with Tsukishima doing the same when we passed his house a block across from the his freckled lover.

Me and Hinata were the last ones to head home, with Kageyama walking to his place about 5 minutes later. Shoyo was being so sweet! Holding my hand, asking if everything was ok since yesterday, if I needed anything, if I had anything to wear for lunch or if I needed to borrow something of his.. He's amazing. Eventually we made it to Suga and Daichi's place, but Hinata seems rather hesitant to let me go.

"Is everything alright, Shoyo?" I asked, still holding his hands. Something in me could tell something was wrong, the normally loud energetic boy was suddenly shy and nervous like I was a lot of the time.

"Yeah I just wanted to do something before you went back inside.." His voice was no more then a whisper, which only raised my concern.

"What is it?" I asked

He didn't even say anything.. The orange haired boy just stared at me for a minute or two before planting a soft kiss on my cheek. My face burned up quickly, my pale cheeks looked as red as my jacket now, and all because of a soft delicate kiss by the boy I had crushed on for a while.

"I'll see you in a few hours, yes?" Shoyo said with a smile going from ear to ear, me following his example with a light smile.

"Mhm, I'll see you then Shoyo." My smile grew bigger with every second he stood there, with his hand holding my face, I felt so soft inside, it felt nicer then Kuroo's affection ever did... But I don't have to worry about him now, he's out of my life thankfully.

His hands slowly left my face and wished me a goodbye, I waved and walked to the front door of the house and entered, wanting to go play Animal Crossing and scream into my pillow out of gay panic.

Daichi was sitting on that couch snickering with Suga, "What's happening?" I asked

"Sooo you and Hinata hm?" Daichi chuckled, acting like a parent when their child gets a significant other, which at this point he and Sugawara might as well be.

"I guess, I don't know if we're dating or not.." I muttered, my cheeks and ears getting warm again.

"Well, do you want to date him?" Sugas tone light and curious

"I mean yes, he's the best person in my life right now." I explained, my brain however didn't follow my words, with my mind thinking about everything that happened until now. I was asking myself, 'Is he a friend? Does he like me or is he just being nice?'

"If you wanna date him go ahead, nobody's stopping you." Daichi said, being the supportive father figure he is.

"Thank you.." I whispered. I then walked over to the living area, taking a seat on a beanbag chair that I am not sure why they have.

"So who's driving us to the restaurant?" I asked

"Oh I can, my van cat fit all of you easily!" Suga-mama said with a grin as he got up to put a book back on the shelf

"Didn't you get that van SPECIFICALLY for stuff like this?" Daichi pointed out

"I mean yeah..." Sugas tone was one of embarrassment but also a little bit of pride in his voice.

After a while of talking, I went back to my room and just sat on the bed and relaxing on my Animal Crossing town, getting fruit, shells, flowers and making money to make this island look its best. While I was farming for sea creatures since those make me a good chunk of cash, my phone buzzed from the night stand. It was Kuroo, asking for me to come back home. A groan arose from my throat. I didn't bother replying and instead decided to follow Yams advice about giving Suga-mama or Daichi my phone at lunch later. I muted his number, not blocking it but I wont get the notifications for the messages. A smile grew on my face as I went back to enjoying the soft music of my animal crossing town that me and my sweet tangerine helped make together with one part of the island being his to design and the other was mine to design, and it worked really, really well!

After about 2 hours, I heard a knock on the door, Sugawara's voice could be heard from the other side, "Hey kiddo! We are gonna leave in a bout 13 minutes, get yourself ready, ok?"

I shouted an 'alright!' Back to him, saved my game, put the Switch back into its port and got out some clothes. While I never considered myself good with clothes and picking them out for events, Shoyo and the others often said my outfits were really good, so I guess that's something. Nonetheless I grabbed a t-shirt, a jacket and some black pants with white stripes down the side. I went to the bathroom, took a quick shower just to get and mess from earlier off of me.

After I finished showering, I dried my hair and put on my clothes. Once I finished that I pulled my pudding colored hair back into a small half up/half down look then made my way downstairs to where Daichi and Sugawara were waiting.

"You ready to go Kenma?" Sugawara asked

I nodded and we headed out to the car, I chose the middle seat in the very back of the van so I could be away from people.

Daichi got into the front with Suga to basically be his navigator, "So who are we picking up first?" Hinata since he's closest?" Daichi nodded and started pointing silver haired boy in the driver seat to his house.

He wasn't very far away just like Suga said, only about 15 minutes away. But by the time we got there I was about half asleep already, then again that was all the time. When he got into the car his eyes batted, looking for me probably, when he spotted me he got into the back next to me, buckled in and started talking to me.

"You seem tired.." The orange haired boy said, pointing out the obvious.

I only nodded to his words, it seems that nod was enough for the sweet boy since he put his arm on my cheek and gently put my head on his shoulder, "Here, sleep till we get there, I'll wake you up once we're there."

I smiled and curled up to him, well to the best of my ability anyway, after all I was wearing a seatbelt which restricted it a bit but I was still comfy.

--Sugawara pov--

I was grinning ear from ear at the sight that I saw from my mirror as I was driving to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi's place, "That's so cuteeee!" I squealed, quietly though I didn't wanna wake them up.

We eventually made it to Tsuki and Yams street to see them waiting on a bench with Yams ranting about something while holding Tsuki's hand.

"Hey kiddos, get in! We need to go pick up Kageyama!" Daichi said loudly out the car window.

They quickly got in the seat row infront of Hinata and Kenma who were still fast asleep. Daichi then started to point me in the direction of Kageyama's place once everyone was buckled in and chatting normally.

--Hinata pov--

I sat as still as possible so I wouldn't wake up Kenma who I could swear I heard purring like a cat. It was so adorable and I could die happy with him right here on my shoulder. After we made it to all our stops, with our final one being Tanaka, the one and only simp himself. Once he got into the car he saw me and Kenma the only thing he had to saw was AWW really loud for Suga to bonk him on the head. But eventually we got there and by that time Kenma was already awake since we went over a bad pothole and the bump from that woke him

Once we got there Yams was also asleep but he's a deeper sleeper then Kenma is and we all know from a sleepover we had a month ago that only Tsuki can wake him.

"You guys head inside I'll wake this idiot up." Tsuki's tone must have tried to sound mean but with Yams head resting on him we could tell he wasn't doing a good job.

We went inside and we got our table that was in a separate room in the back of the café. When Tsuki got there with a blushing Yams we ordered our drinks and started talking. I saw Kenma's phone buzz inside his pocket and I had a feeling I knew who it was,

"Kuroos calling you, isn't he?" I asked quietly so nobody could hear

"Mhm, should I give it to Daichi?" I nodded at Kenma's question and saw him walk up to Daichi and ask if he could answer the phone for him.

I know he wanted Daichi to answer it but Sugawara is too much of a bear mom to let him and will probably answer it himself and that's going to be a show

--Sugawara's pov again--

"Oh, what do you need kiddo?"

"Kuroo is calling me and I don't wanna answer, could one of you take care of it for me?" He seemed shy to ask for such a simple thing, Daichi was about to answer it for him but granted I was arguably the most mad I wanted to.

"I'll step outside and answer this, Hinata, kiddo, come with me would you?"

"Oh, uh, sure!" Hinata instantly popped up, Kenma handed me the phone and we headed outside

"Hello Kenma?" Kuroo started

"Nope not Kenma, this is Sugawara, I want to have a word with you." I said trying to stay calm but my patience was already as thin as a piece of yarn. I ended up putting him on speaker so that Hinata will hear it and pip in if he wanted,

"Put him on the fucking phone this has nothing to do with you Karasuno shits, this is me and Kenma's business not yours."

"Oh, so even though you made Kenma feel unsafe in his own home and he came to me and Daichi, it doesn't become my business?"

His voice grew to one of bafflement, "Wha- I doubt I made him feel unsafe all I did was raise my voice!"

Hinata looked pissed so I looked at him so he knew he could pipe in if he wanted and he wanted to, "He had a slap mark on his cheek! And you of all people should know he doesn't do the best if someone raises their voice like that!" Hinata yelled

"I didn't hit him!" There the rooster goes again, lying..

"Oh, yes you did, I have photo proof of it! Unless you want me to expose you to all the schools that we have played against including your own so they know what a piece of shit you are, I would suggest you leave Kenma the fuck alone!"

"Hand me the phone." Hinata whispered. I nodded and handed over the phone

"He's my boyfriend, I have a right to talk to him!"

"No the hell he's not! You don't deserve him! Kenma is mine, he has been for weeks since you started to treat him like shit."

"So that little fucking kitten has been cheating on me?! What the fuck!"

"You cheated on him with Levs fucking sister, shut the fuck up."

"..." I could hear Kuroo go quiet on the other end, no longer having an argument I would assume.

"I'm sorry.." He said finally after what felt like a year despite it in reality just being a few seconds.

I held out my hand for the phone back which Hinata gave it back, "That doesn't fix it, Kuroo. You still hurt Kenma physically, and probably mentally."

"I-" I didn't want to give this guy a chance to speak,

"No. Shut up. Never contact this number again." I said and hung up on him and blocked the number.

"Damn! That was really cool, aaand a little scary.." Hinata chuckled

"Why thank you~" I said, chucking along with Hinata before heading back into the café.

We walked back in and saw everyone staring at us in shock, "Uh is something wrong?"

"We heard all of that. Goddamn!" Noya exclaimed, looking like he saw god with his own two eyes.. I mean he's dating Asahi so he might as well have seen him already.

"Oh sorry about that, I snapped." I chuckled lightly

Kenma got up to get his phone from me, "Thank you." He whispered, I gave him a pat on the head,

"Its no problem Kenma!"

After that we went to sit back down and the rest of the day was normal, everyone had a good day eating and talking. After we were done Daichi payed the bill even thought multiple people including myself offered to pay it instead, we headed to the car and dropped everyone off.

"Hey do you mind if I stay with you guys tonight? I don't think Kenma would wanna be alone tonight." Hinata said, Kenma asleep on his shoulder once again.

"Of course! What ever makes him comfortable!" I smiled from my seat.

We made it to the house I got out first with Daichi while Hinata stayed behind to pick up Kenma from the car and carry him inside.

--Hinata pov--

The boy sleeping in my arms made me so happy. Knowing that he was safe and away from Kuroo. I knew that rooster wasn't right for him from the start, I don't know why, whenever I saw him red flags just went haywire in my head. Anyway, we got inside and I walked to the room and put Kenma onto the bed, I slowly backed off and got out some spare clothes that Suga kept here and went to change. Once I got back I walked to the bed and sat next to Kenma, once I did I saw his arm reach out for mine.

I smiled at the sight, I laid down and wrapped my arms around the pudding cup cutey who I had a crush on for a while. He was so warm and soft, I never wanted this feeling to end. I set my alarm since tomorrow is school day and fell asleep with Kenma curled up in my arms like the cat-like boy he is.

--In the morning--

I woke up before Kenma, I guess he's a heavy sleeper when I comes to not waking up at alarms... I lightly tapped his chest, he stirred awake, "Eh.. Shoyo..?" He muttered, his eyes opened fully now.

"Mhm, now get up silly you have school, right?"

"Oh, yeah I guess." He said quietly

I stood up, letting him wake up. I grabbed his uniform and put them in the bathroom and grabbed my own, "Your uniform is in the bathroom dear-" I cut myself off at the moment I said dear.

Kenma just sat up and smiled at me, "Thank you dear, I love you." How the hell is he so smug?!

My face was as red as a strawberry but I kept a straight face buuuttttt I am gay so its not easy, but I tried my best. I walked to the bathroom, got into my school uniform, shoved a clean volleyball uniform into my bag and walked out. I sat onto the bed, waiting for Kenma to come out of the guest bathroom, once he did I reached my arms out for a hug. Kenma smiled and gave me a hug, I gave him a peck on the cheek and stood up again.

"How are you getting to school? Nekoma's kind of far.."

"Oh, Sugas driving me." Kenma explained as we walked down the stairs.

"Hey kiddos, we're going to go get coffee so we can get Kenma to school on time! Get your shoes on!" Suga called from the hall.

We both put on our shoes and went out to the car I grabbed Kenma's hand as we walked. We got in and Suga drove to the Starbucks closest to the school, "What do you want?"

"Apple Pie Frappuccino." Kenma said quietly

"Ah secret menu! I like your style!" Daichi praised

"And for you, my tangerine son?"

"Matcha latte please!"

"How do you sound tired yet energized, Shoyo?" Kenma said, curled up on my shoulder

"Uh I don't know, I guess that's just my voice in the morning."

Kenma didn't say anything else, just relaxed on my shoulder while looking at his phone. We made it to Starbucks and Suga went through the drive through,

"Hello, can I get a Apple Pie Frappuccino, a Matcha latte, a Java Chip Frappuccino and a Iced Peach Green Tea Lemonade." Suga said, listing off the orders.

"Alright, pull up to the first window."

We pulled up and the coffees got passed around, "Do we need anything else last minute or are we ready to go?" Daichi asked

"No, I don't think so, do you need anything Kenma?"

"No." He shook his head next to me.

We made our way to the school, sipping on our drinks as we talked. Once we reached to the school, I kissed Kenma a goodbye before Suga drove off with him to drop him off at Nekoma before coming back. We walked into the building and the whole volley ball squad was standing in the entrance way with something behind their back. When me and Daichi went in, they whipped up the sign that read, "CONGRATS HINATA SHOYO!"

"Huh? What's this for?" I asked, very confused about the sign

"To congratulate you and Kenma dude!" Nishinoya exclaimed, running up to give me a noogie on my head.

"O-oh thank you!" I grinned at all my friends being supportive of me and my (unofficial) boyfriend.

We walked to class with the rest of the volleyball club following chatting with each other, dropping me off at my class before going on their way.

--Sugawara pov, 2 minutes after class ended--

I was sitting talking with a classmate about some homework the teacher had assigned when my phone rang, it was Kenma,

"Sorry *insert name* I kind of need to take this!"

"Oh its fine Sugawara!"

I said my goodbyes to my classmate and answered my phone when I exited the classroom, "Kenma, what do you need sweetie?"

Kenma's voice sounded shaky, sad almost from the other side like he had been crying, "Uh can you come get me?" My heart broke hearing that

I ran back to the classroom to grab my stuff, my bag, my keys, etc. "Oh of course! What happened if you don't mind me asking.."

"Kuroo started saying shit to the team, I don't wanna be questioned at practice, and Kuroo has eyed me down all day.. Me and him are always the last ones to finish changing I don't wanna be alone with him if I don't know what will happen."

The fact that Kenma even feels like that makes me sick.. "Alright, I will tell my couch I'll be late and I will bring you back to practice with me so you can hang out with us, ok?"

"Ok thank you, mom." Kenma said his goodbyes, when he ended the call I texted Keishin Ukai, our couch that I would be late.

I got into my car and drove to Nekoma to see Kenma waiting outside for me, "Get in kiddo!" I called.

Kenma quickly hopped in tears glazing his face, "Hey, once we get there I promise you we will do everything in our teams power to make you happy."

I kept driving and we made it back to Karasuno, we got out of a car and I walked with Kenma to the gym, I slowly opened the door and walked in with Kenma beside me.

"Hey guys.. We have a guest.." I announced quietly.

The minute I said that Couch Ukai looked at me, "Isn't that the Nekoma kid?"

Before I could answer Hinata ran up, "Oh my god! Kenma are you ok?! Who made you cry? Your face is red!"

"I-I'm fine Kuroo was just.. Being Kuroo.."

Almost the whole team piped up with some version of, "That bastard, that piece of shit, that motherfucker," Or something like it.

"Sugawara, Kenma sit down and explain what happened please." Couch Takeda called from the bench.

The whole team sat down instead of just us two with Hinata sitting off to the side with Kenma, holding his hand, peppering his face with kisses and just all around making him feel loved.

"So why exactly is Kenma here?" Ukai asked

"His ex was making him nervous and he didn't want to go to practice because of it so he messaged me to come get him, and I knew everyone would want to make sure he was ok so I brought him here."

"Its that Tetsurō Kuroo, right?"

Everyone nodded with murder in their eyes, "I'll can call the principal and fix stuff on the schools end, but if things are that bad, does Kenma have anywhere to stay?"

Daichi spoke up, "Yes he's staying with me and Sugawara."

"Alright, good." Ukai stood up and walked out

"Practice ends early! Stay safe everyone! Feel better soon Kenma!"

We all grinned and got our stuff together. Once we were ready to go we all hopped into my car, dropping off everyone at their houses,

"Thank you, Suga, Daichi, Shoyo.. all of you thank you." Kenma muttered from the back seat.

"Awh! That was so sweet! It's no problem Kenma! We will always love you!" I saw Hinata give Kenma more kisses and hugs from my mirror in the front seat. We got out and everyone went inside.

--Kenma pov--

"Hey Hinata?" I called from my bed, the boy popped his head in, his hair wet from a shower,

"What are we?" My cheeks lit up as I asked

"Well.. Aren't we boyfriends at this point? Or would you prefer another title?"

I shook my head, "No boyfriend sounds good."

Hinata sat down next to me, looking into my eyes and placing a hand on my cheek, "I love you, I love you so much Kenma."

I blushed at the words, I guess I'm still not used to that..

"I love you too, Shoyo."

I crawled into the tangerine boys lap and settled my arms on his chest.

"Thank you for being with me all this time Shoyo."

"Of course, you don't need to ever thank me for that."

I slowly fell into a comfortable sleep on my best friend- no on my beautiful, amazing, talented.. did I say beautiful already? Boyfriends chest.

----Now small snippets from all le ships featured--

Tsukishima x Yamaguchi

"Man.. This weekend sucked ass." Tsuki said from the couch

"I know. I know. It was, wasn't it?" Yamaguchi chuckled

"Question.."

"What is it Yams?"

"Could you wear the cute dino onesie I may or may have not bought you..?"

Tsuki looked at me his face turned red, "..........Fine, just don't tell ANYONE." Yamaguchi grinned ear to ear by that response

The green haired boy grabbed the onesie and Tsukishima embarrassingly slipped it on, "Oh my god you look so cute!" Yamaguchi squealed.

"Sh-shut up.."

"Gomen Tsuki!"

A few minutes later they were cuddling up to each other, Yamaguchi was in a heaven of cuddles and warmth. He felt loved as shit.

Daisuga

"Our sons are all grown up.." Suga exclaimed with a sigh while Daichi was on the couch sipping coffee with him watching some comedy on TV.

"Yeah, you really are a great parent figure to them dear."

"I mean some of them need that in their lives and I am more then happy to be that role."

"Mhm." Daichi nodded and held his boyfriends hand with one hand and sipped his coffee with the other.

"I love you dear."

"I love you too, sugar."

"Now excuse me while I expose Kuroos ass in every single team GC"

"Have fun with that dear."

aaand lastly, Kenhina!

Kenma grabbed his Switch, along with Hinata's which was right next to his, its orange case a custom one Kenma had made.

"Hey wanna play Animal Crossing?"

"Sure, whos island?"

"How about Nekoma's shared island? I wanna take all of Kuroos shit."

Hinata's eyes lit up at that comment, "I shall help!"

While Kenma was destroying the rooster heads stuff, Hinata was making patterns that led to Kuroos home that said stuff like, "Cheater this way ->," and "The home of a cheater"

"You're the best boyfriend ever Shoyo." Kenma said with a smile

"Uno reverse~"

Kenma curled up into a gay, blushy ball that fell into Hinata's arms

"You're so sweet and pure.."

"I mean I wouldn't say I'm pure but sure."

They both saved their games and fell asleep

--AAAND its over! I hope yall enjoyed, this is my first Haikyuu fanfic and I am hella proud of it! ~🏳‍���🧂Amber

[local-femme-gentleman]

10 things I’ve watched in the quarantine (so far)

1. Dazed and Confused 1993 ‧ Comedy/Indie film ‧ 1h 43m

So, I kicked off the apocalypse lockdown with Dazed and Confused - and yes, even though the movie made me realise I was going to have to survive literal months without my usual amount of marijuana consumption, it also filed me with that warped sense of nostalgia and longing for a bygone era that Dazed and Confused always leaves me with - especially a deep yearning for seventies music because the soundtrack of this movie may be one of its best aspects. It is equal parts kinda stupid, ridiculously fun, and wholly introspective, and at the end of the day I love this movie for helping me see what my boomer parents - and their whole generation - were like as teenagers more than anything else.

2. 2001: A Space Odyssey 1968 ‧ Sci-fi/Adventure ‧ 2h 44m

2001: A Space Odyssey has since its release become an absolute classic, and I for one adore it to absolute death. This was one of the first ‘adult’ movies I watched, I was 11 years old at the time - and although I didn’t understand it then, and frankly got a little bored, revisiting it now (after having rewatched it many many many times, and as a slightly older, well, kid) I’ve come to absolutely love it. I personally was looking for some slightly longer movies for the lockdown - considering I have more than enough time, and if you are too then this one may be just what you’re looking for - even if you’ve seen it already. There’s always more to discover in a movie like this one.

3. Okja 2017 ‧ Adventure/Drama ‧ 2 hours

Of all the movies on this list this may be the one I recommend the least. Not because it’s a bad movie, because it honestly and truly isn’t ( Bong Joon Ho still definitely came through for this one), however, this movie is, in my opinion, far too heartbreaking for this exact moment in time. If it was any other period in history I would be overwhelmingly promoting this movie, because I honestly and truly loved it - but it made me want to give up meat in a period of time where I simply do not have the resources for that to be an option. So if you’re down with your day just getting a little bit sadder, albeit in a not entirely bad way, I’d say watch Okja - if not, then I’d say, just for now, maybe stay away.

4. Spirited Away 2001 ‧ Animation/Fantasy ‧ 2h 5m

Okay, I love this movie, my parents love this movie, your parents love this movie, your sister loves this movie, your best friend loves this movie, you’re-cousin’s-nephew’s-dog’s-best-friend’s-owner loves this movie - and, if you don’t love this movie, well, each to their own but you’re kind of a monster. Spirited Away is one of those universally agreed upon masterpieces, everything about this movie just makes you feel good, from the colours, to the world, to the characters, to the animation. Spirited Away wraps you up in a blanket of all things warm and comforting in this world - if you’re looking to just feel better, which given current situations you probably are, this is the one for you.

5. Before Sunrise 1995 ‧ Romance/Drama ‧ 1h 45m

I’ve always loved this trilogy, yes, it may be one of the most teenage girl things to ever exist, the ultimate teenage girl fantasy, but what’s wrong with that? Before Sunrise, at every watch and rewatch, makes me want to meet a stranger on a train and just wander somewhere in europe for a single night. I’m fairly sure this will never happen, but this is the perfect time for daydreaming and so I will. Honestly, this movie truly is good, the amount of angles explored in Jesse and Celine’s still forming relationship over a single night is fascinating and it’s a very pretty film. If you’re just looking for something light and easy to watch - that gets you just the right amount of emotional, this is the one for you.

6. The Royal Tenenbaums 2001 ‧ Drama/Comedy-drama ‧ 1h 50m

Oh so you thought I’d go one recommendations video without mentioning Wes? Ha. Okay look, The Royal Tenenbaums is probably my fifth favorite Wes movie, but considering I love basically every Wes Anderson movie that isn’t not saying much. The Tenenbaum siblings stand as some of my favorite Wes Anderson characters and I love Angelica Houston no matter who she plays. The Royal Tenenbaums is just a good Wes Anderson film, and you get exactly what you’d want and expect from it - whip pans, impeccable wardrobes, symmetrical shots, a Wilson Brother, a sugary colour pallette, the futura font, and rich white people, well, being rich white people

7. American Vandal 2017 ‧ Satire ‧ 2 seasons

Ok I’ll say it, this is the perfect quarantine show. It’s completely stupid in the smartest way possible, absurdly funny, and overall one of the best shows netflix has ever produced. If you’re looking for a laugh, and I know I was when I clicked on this, then this is the one for you. American Vandal is satire at its peak - and I can officially say that both seasons hold up at a third rewatch, because yes, I’ve watched this entire show three times over. If you like true-crime series, or The Office and Parks and Rec (and yes I see the disparity in genre) then you will absolutely adore American vandal - and the fact that this show didn’t get a third season is a whole tragedy. Shame on you Netflix, shame on you.

8. Marriage Story 2019 ‧ Comedy-drama/Drama ‧ 2h 17m

Again, considering current times Marriage Story may have not been the best choice, but hey, I love this movie, and as sad as it makes me, it also makes me incredibly happy in a bittersweet sort of way. The good thing about marriage story is that it’s one of those films you truly get lost in, when I watched it just a few days ago, I truly and honestly, for just those few moments, forgot about everything going on right now, and - i say this at a risk of sounding selfish, I know - it felt good. Marriage Story is by far one of my favorite movies of last year, the writing is gorgeous, the editing is genius, and although the movie isn’t intrinsically happy in nature, it may just be what you need right now.

9. Every John Mulaney Special New in Town ‧ The Comeback Kid ‧ Kid Gorgeous ‧ etc.

So I, in true Gen-Z fashion, have watched every John Mulaney Comedy Special  many many times. I love these specials, they truly mean quite a bit to me. I like playing these in the back while I do other things like cleaning my room or cooking. I think I watched him so much  that his voice has become almost comforting - I may have formed a bit of an attachment. Chances are you’ve probably seen at least one John Mulaney Special, if you’ve only seen one watch the rest! And if you’ve seen the all then rewatch like I did! For me, this is the perfect time to just watch some good standup, so even if it isn’t John, just watch a comedian who makes you happy - trust me, it’ll help.

10. Tangled 2010 ‧ Animation/Musical ‧ 1h 40m

Ok so honestly my friends put this on together on Netflix Party to watch that first song and get some self-quarantine ideas - but then we just watched the whole movie so, yeah. I do love Tangled though, it was one of my favourite Disney movies as a kid, granted I’ve always been more of a Pixar girl (speaking of which this is the best time to binge on Pixar movies!!!!). Honestly, this is just a solid disney movie, it’s cute, it’s adorably animated, I properly adore Pascal and Maximus because no matter how old I get I will always adore a fun animal sidekick. Honestly, now is just a good time to watch a good disney movie, I had fun with this movie okay, no lie it was great.

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 18: 1x15 Shore Leave

Shore Leave tonight! Because I need it. I had a lot of thoughts on this because it’s so ridiculous and wonderful.

That planet looks like a giant green screen. Which is appropriate.

I could watch this back rub scene on a loop all day. Fellas, is it gay to want your First Officer to really dig it in there?

Captain going to his quarters to work from home today.

Oh-ho, what is this, the little seen Sulu & McCoy dynamic.

Plant nerd Sulu wants information on all the greenery.

That rabbit is so great. Fun fact I had an LJ icon with that rabbit back in the day.

Honestly this is such a great concept for an episode. Like I don’t have any really deep notes or feelings about it but both as a sci fi idea (a very high-tech ‘amusement planet’ that uses unseen machines that can read your thoughts to manufacture delightful things for you) and an entertaining yarn, it’s so good. I also think the characters are really on point.

It’s so good that Theodore Sturgeon could put that back rub scene in there and no one even noticed.

“Stardate.... something.....uh, point three.” I laughed, I really did. Stardates do not and never have made sense and I like that even Kirk is so tired at this point he’s like “yeah whatever.” Mood, Sir.

Kirk is canonically a workaholic. He’s the kind of guy who checks his email on vacation. Who answers emails at 11pm. With his husband next to him like to rest is to rest jim!!!

“On my planet, to rest is to rest.”

Kirk thinks he’s so cute. He’s looking really handsome today himself, but Kirk always looks at his best when he’s got his heart eyes face on.

“A crewman’s rights end where the ship’s safety begins.” We need that on a poster today in 2020 for Reasons.

Love how unamused Kirk is and how amused Spock is. Ya got played, son!

Oh, look, it’s a random gun. Too bad Chekov’s not here to claim it. (He’d love this planet btw.)

YFIP: Captain Kirk. Cancels shore leave mere minutes before it’s supposed to start.

Gunshots!! Sulu found the gun! And he’s so excited! And then Kirk takes it away like the Mean Dad he is.

One thing I wonder about this planet is at what point do the objects, people, etc. cease to exist. Do they just eventually wander back to the trapdoors and.... get recycled? Do they have this built in? Is that not... weird? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: Shore Leave. And do the inanimate objects have to be returned?

I love this Kirk Academy back story and we were robbed--ROBBED--of it in AOS, fight me on this. “I was downright grim.” Bullied by an upperclassman?? Who liked playing dumbass pranks?? Sounds like enemies to lovers, slowburn, 20k, to me.

Love how absolutely deranged Finnegan is though.

Yeoman Barrows’ rape fantasy.

Kirk stops to a pick a flower! To romantic music!! He is so soft and I love him byeeeeeeeee.

And then the flower reminds him of his Academy girlfriend Ruth. Who is uh obviously played by a woman in her 30s and yet hasn’t aged a day in 15 years so 19 year old Kirk with an older lady y/y?

Love his confused face while she’s kissing him though.

He’s so dazed as he calls McCoy and then just kinda... gives up lol.

Bones, too busy flirting to remember the white rabbit he’s supposed to be chasing. Don’t say “a whole army of Don Juans”!!!

His eyeshadow is also on point today. He’s so shameless, trying to not-quite-watch her as she changes into the Princess Costume. No one ever remembers how flirty McCoy is but he IS.

Oh look, a big kitty!!! Very beautiful and nice.

Sulu lol, just casually thinking of samurai. Bet he wishes he still had that gun now.

Spock having a hard time beaming down reminds me of that meme “Now I will always be a child of two worlds.”

Spock’s thought process is hilarious. “Our transporters were about to stop working so I thought, hey, how about I strand myself too--just to be with you, Jim.”

McCoy and Barrows holding hands.

They’re supposed to spread out but Kirk and Spock go together obviously.

Oh no, the knight! I’m sure Kirk told Spock not to shoot bc he knew his phaser didn’t work but it still looks like ‘I got this baby.’

There’s no one to say “He’s dead Jim.” :(

Barrows shouldn’t feel guilty; it was Bones’s fault for conjuring the knight in the first place by saying the word “knight.”

Lol can’t Sulu run the tricorder? Like the obviousness with which they switch out Sulu and Spock so K and S can have their moment is... Something.

“Are you saying that this is a plant, Mr. Spock?”

Lol just poking the dummy in the face.

“Funny air vehicles.” Don’t have planes in the 24th century I guess?

Don’t say strafing run!!

When Kirk thinks of the Academy, he thinks of Finnegan first apparently. And now begins an incredibly long fight sequence. I actually like the TOS fights in general quite a bit because they’re SO choreographed. So for me they are more fun than fights now, which are such a mess I don’t even know what I’m looking at. But even so--this one is VERY long.

And VERY homoerotic.

“Jim baby.” “Sweet Jimmy boy.” Resting on top of that cliff in a ‘draw me like one of your French girls’ pose. Kirk’s shirt just like.... REALLY randomly ripping right the hell off.

“You couldn’t find your head with both hands.” ???

I love this Irish tune. Apparently this was the first ep this composer worked for and I think he did a really good job all around! I rarely notice music but I did in this one and always in a good way.

Spock’s makeup is great as usual. He and Kirk are on the same expository wavelength.

Spock, don’t say the word “tiger”! You can clearly see it is on a leash lol. Lots of gratuitous touching as Kirk and Spock run away. My mom and I agree that Spock liked the tiger, though. He does like cats and big animals like iChaya.

All the crewman line up except for Angela. Really dropping the ball there.

Love how the amusement park manager shows up just after Kirk told everyone not to think about anything. “Okay, who imagined the man in green robes?”

Spock’s posture and expression.... so good. He clearly loves the idea of an amusement park, and, given that he describes it as a place with “many fascinating things” to do/see, I think he would, canonically, love it.

“The more complex the mind, the greater need for the simplicity of play.”

 THE MUSIC WHEN MCCOY SHOWS UP WITH THE GIRLS OMG.

He’s such a slut. One whole love interest plus TWO imaginary showgirls? Tone it down Mister.

I can’t believe one of the girls goes to Spock. He’s like “What do I do with this?” Then hands her off to Sulu because Rodriguez is already helping Angela move on from her dead husband. So now Sulu gets two ladies.

Spock doesn’t need any more shore leave, because he got to spend some time with Kirk, solve a mystery, and see a tiger. That’s all the fun he needs!

The last scene was pretty unnecessary (except that I guess without it, it kinda looks like Kirk is just...leaving the Enterprise for his old girlfriend lol) but at least we get the awkward implication that Kirk, McCoy, and Sulu had a lot of sex, and some random fake laughter.

(Sulu absolutely canonically had a threesome.)

Next up is the Galileo Seven, a Classic TM Spock (and Spock & McCoy) episode.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Colonialism

You back into things sometimes.

One of my many guilty pleasures is old school pulp, which I first encountered with the Doc Savage reprints in the 1960s, then old anthologies, then back issues at conventions, and now thanks to the Internet, an almost limitless supply.

And to be utterly frankly, a lot of the appeal lays in the campiness of the covers and interior art -- brass plated damsels fighting alien monsters, bare chested heroes combatting insidious hordes, etc., etc., and of course, etc.

Once past age 12, I never took these covers or the covers of modern pulps such as James Bond, Mike Hammer, or Modesty Blaise seriously; they were just good, campy fun.

While my main focus remained on the sci-fi pulps, I also kept an eye on crime and mystery pulps, war stories, and what are sometimes called “sweaties”, i.e., men’s adventure magazines.

Despite the differences in the titles and genres, certain themes seemed to pop up again and again.

Scantily clad ladies, typically in some form of distress, though on occasion dishing out as good if not better than they got.

Well, the pulps that drew my attention were the pups made for a primarily male audience (though even in the 1930s and 40s there were large numbers of female readers and writers in the sci-fi genre).  Small wonder I was drawn to certain types of eye candy; I had been culturally programmed that way.

That’s a topic well worthy of a post or two on its own, so I’m putting gender issues / the patriarchy / the male gaze aside for the moment.

What I’m more interested in focusing on is the second most popular characters to appear on the covers (and in the stories as well).

The Other.

The Other comes in all shapes / sizes / ethnicities.  Tall and short, scrawny and beefy, light or dark, you name it, they’ve got a flavor for you.

“Injuns” and aliens, Mongols and mafiosi, Africans and anarchists.

Whoever they were ”they ain’t us!”

Certain types of stories lend themselves easily to depicting the villainous Other.

Westerns, where irate natives can always be counted on to launch an attack.

War stories, where the hero (with or without an army to help him) battles countless numbers of enemies en masse.

Adventure stories, where the hero intrudes in some other culture and shows them the error of their ways.

Detective stories, where the Other might be a single sinister mastermind but still represents an existentialist threat.

And my beloved sci-fi stories?

Why, we fans told ourselves our stories were better than that!  We didn’t wallow in old world bigotry, demonizing blacks and browns and other non-whites because of their skins.

Oh, no:  We demonized green skinned aliens.

Now I know some of you are sputtering “But-but-but you wrote for GI Joe!”

Boy howdy, are you correct.

And boy howdy, did we ever exploit the Other with that show.

I never got a chance to do it, but I pitched -- and had Hasbro accept -- a story that would have been about the way I envisioned Cobra to have formed and been organized, and would focus on what motivated them.

They were pretty simplistic greedheads in the original series, but I felt the rank and file needed to be fighting for a purpose, something higher to spire to that mere dominance and wealth.

I never got to do “The Most Dangerous Man In The World” but I was trying to break out of the mold. 

For the most part, our stories fit right into the old trope of The Other.

Ours were mostly about the evil Other trying to do something nefarious against our innocent guys, but there’s an obverse narrative other stories follow, in which our guys go inflict themselves on The Other until our guys either come away with a treasure (rightfully belonging to The Other but, hey, they really don’t deserve it so we’re entitled to take it from them), or hammer The Other into submission so they will become good ersatz copies of us (only not so uppity as to demand equal rights or respect or protection under law).

These are all earmarks of a very Western (in the sense of Europe and America…with Australia and New Zealand thrown in) sin:  Colonialism.

Now, before going further let’s get out terms straight.

There’s all sorts of different forms of colonialism, and some of them can be totally benign -- say a small group of merchants and traders from one country travel to a foreign land and set up a community there where they deal honorably and fairly with the native population.

The transplanted merchants are a “colony” in the strictest sense of the term, but they coexist peacefully in a symbiotic relationship with the host culture and both sides benefit, neither at the expense of the other.

Oh, would that they could all be like that…

Another form of colonialism -- and one we Americans are overly familiar with even though there are all sorts of variants on this basic idea -- is the kind where one culture invades the territory of another and immediately begins operating in a deliberately disruptive nature to the native population.

They seek to enslave & exploit or, failing that, expel or eradicate the natives through any means possible.

It’s the story of Columbus and the conquistadors and the pilgrims and the frontiersmen and the pioneers and the forty-niners and the cowboys and the robber barons.

It’s the story where different groups are deliberately kept separate from one another by the power structure in place, for fear they will band together and usurp said power structure (unless, of course, they band together to kelp make one of ours their leader, and build a grand new empire just for him).

It’s the story where our guys never need make a serious attempt to understand the point of view of The Other, because they are just strawmen to mow down, sexy lamps to take home.

I think my taste in sci-fi and modern pulp writing in general started to change around the mid-1970s.

Being in the army quickly cleared me of a lot of preconceptions I had about what our military did and how they did it.

The easy-peasy moral conflicts of spy novels and international thrillers seem rather thin and phony compared to the real life complexities of national and global politics.

Long before John Wick I was decrying a type of story I referred to as “You killed my dog so you must die.”  Some bad guy (typically The Other) does a bad thing and so the good guy (one of ours -- yea!) must punish him.

Make him hurt.

Make him whimper

Make him crawl.

Make him suffer.

The real world ain’t like that.

Fu Machu falls to Ho Chi Minh.

As entertaining as the fantasy of humiliating and annihilating our enemies may be…we gotta come to terms with them, we gotta learn to live with them.

That’s why my favorite sci-fi stories now are less about conflict and more about comprehension.

It’s better to understand than to stand over.

. . .

The colonial style of storytelling as the dominant form of story telling is fairly recent, dating only from the end of the medieval period in Europe and the rise of the so-called age of exploration.

This is not to say colonial story telling didn’t exist before them -- look at what Caesar wrote, or check out Joshua and Judges in the Old Testament -- but prior to the colonial age it wasn’t the dominant form of storytelling.

Most ancient stories involve characters who, regardless of political or social standing, recognize one another as human beings.

And when gods or monsters appear, they are usually symbols of far greater / larger forces & fates, not beasts to be subdued or slain.

Medieval literature is filled with glorious combat and conflict, but again, it’s the conflict of equals and for motives and rationales that can easily be understood.

It was only when the European nations began deliberately invading and conquering / dominating foreign lands that colonialism became the dominant form of storytelling.

It had to:  How else could a culture justify its swinish behavior against fellow human beings?

Even to this day, much (if not most) popular fiction reflects the values of colonialism.

Heroes rarely change.

Cultures even less.

We’ve kept The Other at arms length with popular fiction and media, sometimes cleverly hiding it, sometimes cleverly justifying it, but we’ve had this underlying current for hundreds of years.

Ultimately, it hasn’t served us well.  

It traps us in simplistic good vs evil / us vs them narratives that fail to take into account the complex nature of human society and relationships.

It gives us pat answers instead of probing questions.

It is zero sum storytelling: The pie is only so big, there can’t be more, and if the hero doesn’t get it all, he loses.  (John D. MacDonald summed up this philosophy in the title of one of his books:  The Girl, The Gold Watch, And Everything.)

It’s possible to break out of that mind set -- The Venture Brothers animated series brilliant manages to combine old school pulp tropes with a very modern, very perceptive deconstruction of the form -- but as posted elsewhere, imitation is the sincerity form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness, so while I certainly applaud The Venture Brothers I don’t want to encourage others to follow in their footsteps.

Because they won’t.

They’ll pretend they will, but they’ll veer off course and back into the old Colonialism mindset.

We need to break out, break free.

Here in the U.S. it’s African-American History Month.

The African-American experience is far from the Colonialism that marks most white / Western / Christian storytelling (and by storytelling I include history and journalism as well as fiction; in fact, anything and everything that tells a narrative).

It’s a good time to open our eyes, to see the world around us not afresh, but for the first time.

Remove the blinders. 

I said sometimes you back into things.

Getting a clearer view of the world I’m in didn’t come from a straightforward examination.

It came from a counter-intuitive place, it found its way back to the beginning not by accepting what others said was the true narrative, but by following individual threads.

It came from Buck Rogers and the Beat Generation and Scrooge McDuck and the sexual revolution and Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance and the civil rights era and Dangerous Visions and the Jesus Movement and Catch-22 and the Merry Pranksters.

It came from old friends, some of whom inspired me, some of whom disappointed me, and yet the disappointments probably led to a deeper, more penetrating insight into the nature of the problem.

This Colonialism era must come to a close.

It can no longer sustain itself, not in the world we inhabit today.

It requires a new breed of storytellers -- writers and artists and poets and journalists who can offer 

It’s not a world that puts up barriers by race or gender, ethnicity or orientation, ability or age.

There’s ample opportunity for open minds.

All it asks of us is a new soul.

  © Buzz Dixon

[iveneverseenthesebowlsbefore]

16, 29

Hey thanks anon! I don’t usually get a lotta these!

(Disclaimer, this may get a bit verbose. We quarantining and I am *bored*)

16. Do you follow porn blogs? I used to but I’m pretty sure the ones I followed got disappeared in the Great Purge. I’d like to follow some now but they’re hard to find...and I can’t figure out how to get tumblr’s damn safe mode thing off 🙄

29. What’s the most overrated movie? Oh ho, but there are so many! 

Award winner-wise, Shakespeare in Love is the first (and most obvious) one that comes to mind. Also The Artist (lol remember that? Only memorable part was the dog.) and then there’s always my mortal enemy, Crash. I think Jaws needed some serious editing. Field of Dreams is just, like, objectively bad. I tend to dig space stuff and usually adore Alfonso Cuarón but I didn’t really like Gravity. And even though I’m big into sci-fi, personally, Blade Runner just never really clicked for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Director-wise, though a lot of them are certainly entertaining, I’ve always found Quentin Tarantino’s movies to be pretty prefect examples of style over substance. And although I used to adore Nolan (Memento ftw), while his flicks look amazing (thanks Pfister) his characters leave a heck of a lot to be desired. Guy really needs to learn how to write women.

Ok, that’s enough kvetching for now. Thanks again for the ask, that was fun! 😘

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 11 Review: Sword Loser

Well guys, we’re edging into the final few episodes (IDK if it’s gonna end at the standard 19 or not at this point, but still) and the Reds and Blues are almost re-united. With everyone back int he present and Chrovous beginning to push his plans forward through Donut, what will happen next? Well let us find out.

Overview

Huggins is back at the Cosmic Powers planet, that I... think they later called pile? IDK. Anyways, Huggins approaches Atlus and the other Gods, ready to make her plea. To say that Atlus is unhappy that Huggins talked to the Reds and Blues instead of crushing them into dust would be an understatement. But hey, Golfing Guy is enjoying this! Huggins however reasons that they can’t hurt them, they don’t know what they’re doing, and that their best move is to negotiate with the three that she’s already brought with her. Atlus storms off to go think about it and to relieve some stress... which according to his wife,includes turning into a swan. I went to go look up if Zeus could do that... and he can. And that is all anyone needs to know...

Since he can’t turn into a swan, Atlus instead blasts at the moon as Kalirama goes to talk to him. She’s not exactly happy about their position either, especially since... you know, Goddess of Destruction and all. But she’s also Goddess of War and therefore thins that strategically, it’s best to go the negotiation route sine Huggins hasn’t rounded up all the Shisno yet. Atlus gets so angry that he blows up part of the moon... and if you’ve watched RWBY, we now who to blame for the moon’s state there. Jerk! Atlus takes a moment to cry... no seriously, he cries. But after it, he calms down an agrees to go through with it as he and his wife... have some alone time, if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, the Grif SIbs and Tucker are waiting on some kind of island with Grif telling his sister about Doc betraying with... with vegan pizza. GOod to know that Grif has his priorities straight still. Huggins shows up, saying that all is good and that none of the Gods are conflicted about this whatsoever, but warns them to be on their best behavior. Atlus and his entourage show up... and Tucker nearly fucks everything up cause he’s still on his power trip. GI Tucker. But Atlus does try to be diplomatic and even lets Tucker grow giant size. Cause that’s what he needs! Fortunately Sister just asks why Atlus can’t shrink and Kalirama talks him into listening. So Tucker goes back to normal size, ha!

So the Cosmic Powers wants to see all of the Reds and Blues, but Grif tries to convince them to give them three wishes first. Which kudos to Grif cause trying to be reasonable with an authority figure has got to be killing him right now. Apparently Atlus doesn’t understand the concept of genies, but Kalirama explains it to him so Atlus agrees... too bad that Tucker negotiates it to just three and not three per person. Oh and what does Tucker want you may ask? Why a giant dong of course! Because Tucker! Also I guess that Atlus doesn’t understand Earth slang, so Muggins has to explain it to him. Did I mention that I love Atlus?

So this all ends with Grif pretty much getting annoyed at Tucker being Tucker, and makes the first wish himself. Does he wish pizza back into existence. Shockingly no. I assume that he does this because of Tucker being Tucker, but he wishes for of all things an energy sword! But longer! Tucker wishes it away, but Grif uses the final wish to get it back. Poor Sister didn’t get anything, bummer. So yeah... Grif has a sword now! Cool! So since the Cosmic Powers fulfilled their end of the bargain, then ll that’s left to do is have the Reds and Blues be reunited. And Huggins doesn't get to be tortured and even gets complimented for her work! Yay!

The three go... somewhere and as Grif plats with his new sword and uses every sword punt hat he can think of (which seeing him happy just makes me happy), Sister is clearly annoyed at Tucker. So much so that she goes into another time period for a few hours to let Tucker reflect. When she comes back... yeah that didn’t do anything. Sister reflects that after this, everyone will be together again and there won’t be anymore Sis and Tuc’s Sexcellent Adventure (easy to sneak in your episode titles Joe). Tucker is... perfectly fine with this. After all, Sister never seemed to care one way or another, just going and sleeping with random people. Never.. you know, him.

That... was the wrong thing to say. Big time. Sister decides fuck just being silently disappointed and gives Tucker one HELL of a verbal smackdown. She points out everything that Tucker has done so far: go mad with power as King of England, expect her to bow before him during it, frequently screwed up Sister’s sex attempts, and now fucked up the wishes all to try and make his penis larger (okay part of that was Grif’s fault, but at least his wasn’t about his own ego). She points out Tucker’s entire character, being so insecure about his own sex life and his own ego that he needs to try to have sex with any woman just to make it happier. He’s been nothing but a narcissistic egomaniac and is simply upset that Sister doesn’t want to band him. Shes a very sexually active person and loves being sexual, but Tucker? He only loves himself. And since he can’t see that despite having good qualities, Sister is finally fed up.

Sister walks off as Tucker is left completely frozen and without a rebuttal. Even Grif seems pretty surprised by his sister’s harshness... before rubbing it in with a sword pun and going off to have his fun. Yeah, I think Grif enjoyed that. So Tucker is left alone, still speechless, as the episode ends.

Review

I’m already seeing people saying that nothing happened this episode, and I’ll argue about that in a moment. But first, my thoughts... I liked it! It’s more filler-ish than the past couple, but as I said I’ll talk about that. But it was a funny episode, and we’re making some progress as we head for the endgame. The Reds and Blues are about to get back together, the Cosmic Powers are going to make some kind of move, and we have whatever Chrovous is going to have Donut do in play as well. I can say that this episode wasn’t what I was expecting, but that’s not a bad thing and we need these things to move forward. So I’m glad!

Speaking of the Cosmic Powers, I get that people feel that it’s out of place. I really do. And yes I would like mroe on an explanation about them and if not this season, I hope that Joe puts one in next season. But... honestly I’m having a ball with them. Like Atlus was set up as this serious figure... but it didn’t take long at ALL to show that Atlus may be powerful, but he’s also a dork. He enjoys violence, the thought of being diplomatic makes him cry, and he doesn't understand Earth slang at all. He is very much a fitting RvB character and I am enjoying the Hell out of him. Kalirama also calming him down, explaining things to him, and overall being a... pretty good wife despite being a Goddess of Death and wanting to go the violent route, but knowing it won’t help also makes her a really good character. They’re both super enjoyable. Heck, even Golfing Guy’s couple of lines and just enjoying all the chaos made me giggle. Look I get it, it’s bizarre and so different form the usual sci-fi, but IDK I’m just having a lot of fun with the God stuff. I tried to hate it, but... I just don’t. I don’t see why they make this season bad, but maybe I’m just too open minded. Point is, I am having fun and that’s what matters.

Onto the Grifs and Tucker now... ho boy. Hooooo boy. So not much to say about Grif in this one, but still it was nice that he was trying to be on his best behavior since Huggins asked him to. Also yeah him not wishing pizza into existence was kind of weird since we knwo how pissed that made him... but as I said, Tucker was being Tucker and Grif I think decided to hit him where it hurt.  I think he’s willing to delay pizza to make Tucker shut up for a little bit. Plus I can forgive it because Grif was HAPPY.  Like... genuinely HAPPY for the first time since Episode 2. Look, fate has been incredibly mean to the guy all because he wanted pizza and he deserves to be happy at least for an episode. Also I gotta wonder if Geoff was able to keep a straight face when Joe had him do a bunch of sword puns, or if he just cursed at having to do a bunch of puns. Bonus points if he blamed Barbara even though she’s not a writer. She’d take it!

That leaves us with Tucker and Sister and... man, where do I start? So... I did not expect that. At all. I mean I’m glad it happened, but I definitely didn’t see it coming. But let me talk about Sister. SO... I’m going to be honest, I did not care about Sister whatsoever before this season. In BGC, she had been utterly pointless as far as I was concerned. I mean her personality fit and it was nice to see Grif actually show that he could care about someone, but being added at pretty much the last second and not being used in over ten seasons means that Sister didn’t get much focus or anything to do. I guess the reason she can be now is because Becca actually works at Rooster Teeth full-time now , but still it meant that while I thought she was an okay character, I didn’t care about her either.

This season had my opinion do a complete 180. Joe has done an excellent job giving Sister more depth. Like Sister is very sexually active, and that’s fine. But we see that she can be smart, has more common sense than at least Tucker, is a sociable person, and I believe that Sister is RT’s first officially bisexual character. And I am super glad that Sister isn’t demonized or shown to be, well... slutty because she’s a sexual person. While I am the kind of person who believes in having sex with someone you have a commitment to, that it only me and my own personal preference. I think that as long as everything is consensual and you aren't cheating on/hurting someone, you are free to do whatever you want with your sex life. While Sister mentioned screwing with someone married to the head of HR, I assume that she wasn’t aware of that and she said that she needed time away from that, so at most I can say have her learn to be mroe careful, but the point is Sister is allowed to be sexual and it isn’t made a bad thing.

The reason that it’s a bad thing with Tucker is because of his ego and how incapable he is of handling rejection. For years, Tucker has always been obsessed with sex and picking up women. He seems to realize that there is some kind of issue with it, but only it how it affects him. Like he got served a class action law suit and felt bad because he now owes child support, not int hat he left a bunch of kids fatherless. This whole season he’s been pursuing Sister, and she has flat out rejected him or he screwed it up whenever it looked like she was reconsidering. When Sister tried to have sex with others, he ruined it for her. Then he becomes King of England and goes on a power trip all because Sister still passed him over. Then with the wishes, and why Sister isn’t upset at her brother, Tucker kept trying to get a larger dick. Again, only caring about inflating his own ego. To put it simply, when Tucker doesn't have to be a leader or worry about anything serious, this is what he reverts to and what he’s been since the series began: a narcissistic egomaniac who is so insecure and so bad with women that he just acts more and more like an asshole and keeps trying to inflate that ego.

I am going to be honest, I NEVER thought that RvB would bring attention to this. I mean I never took it seriously and while I could certainly understand others finding Tucker’s behavior problematic, it’s a comedy so I always took it as such. IDK if they’re addressing it because Joe saw an opportunity, people pointing it out and Joe deciding to do something with it, or if someone just realized that in the current climate it wasn’t alt hat funny anymore. But I am glad to see this direction. One, it helps give Sister more depth and show her as more than just a one-note party girl-like character. She’s smart, insightful, and has good social and judgement despite how she seems on the surface. It’s also, for the first time in sixteen years, pointing out Tucker’s biggest character flaw and why it is a bad thing. This is why I get pissed when these kinds of episode get slammed as ‘nothing happening’. Yes, ti did. It is called character development. Sorry it isn’t with the Freelancers, but it is what it is. Everyone is free to have their opinion, but here’s mine down below.

Final Thoughts

I loved this episode. I loved the character focus and development with Sister and Tucker because I feel that it was sorely needed. I liked the comedy with the Cosmic Gods and Grif just having a blast with the sword. And yes, I love this season. It’s bizarre, nonsensical, and yeah it has some pacing issues. But it’s fun. It has plenty of character stuff, but it’s overall just fun. I’m pretty positive that this season is like 7 and 11, it’s a setup for next season. But before then, Joe is just letting the season be funny while keeping in the character stuff. I like that. I like that he’s letting us have fun. We’ll see how this all ends, but for now I really enjoyed this episode and I’m going to keep watching to the very end.

[a-crown-of-glass]

Sins of the Father Summary: What is the price of living forever? Spencer learns that his partner of five years lives with a burden only a parent can understand, and the wounds run back centuries. Warning: Murder, death, brief mentions of suicide, war, Notes: I slapped this together on the spur of the moment. The premise loosely focuses on an RP between me and @dontshootmespence and the relationship between Spencer and my OC (well... more like a sci-fi/fantasy adaptation of the historical figure for an upcoming original series) Yeon Namsaeng  Hope you enjoy! It hasn’t been edited or betad again it just came to me in the heat of the moment. @lureofthesiren Namsaeng sat on his leather couch in his large luxurious living-room. His gaze was transfixed on the small wooden box that sat on the glass coffee table before him. It’s old wooden shell weathered with time mirroring the age of the contents within. His long slender fingers ran along its smooth frame as he opened it and looked at the ancient jewelry held within. All he had were these mementos of a dynasty now marked in the pages of history. A soft knock wrapped at the door. Namsaeng’s ears perked as he heard the familiar footsteps against his marble floor. “Hey, I would’ve come sooner when I got your message, but, I was tied up in this case. Everything okay?” Spencer’s calm but nervous voice broke the pensive silence that hung in the air. As much as he tried, he couldn’t fully turn off the profiling part of his mind. When Namsaeng didn’t answer right away, the gears whirred deep within- imprinting every detail to his memory. The way Namsaeng’s short hair caressed his high-set cheekbones and framed his effeminate warm-toned oval face. How his round almond eyes were focused on an old wooden box he held. His thin wiry body was relaxed- even in the tight black leather he was wearing from the band’s photo shoot earlier. Spencer could only guess what his boyfriend of five years was thinking. All the profiling skills he had couldn’t fully unravel the layers of Namsaeng’s psyche. Only when he learned his boyfriend was 1300 years old did it make sense why. His walls were fortified with over a millennium of mental conditioning, and the horrors of immortality and changing history only made him stronger. “You wanted to talk about my past,” Namsaeng’s voice broke the silence. He looked up, his cat-like lips pressing into a calm smile- dimpling his soft angular cheeks. He patted the leather seat next to him, “I thought I’d show you something first.” Spencer’s brows furrowed, and he idly licked his lips. He expected a few reactions from Namsaeng after their talk the previous night; Namsaeng’s usual rock ‘n roll diva attitude, the aggressive – now- ex-politician image he’d take on when he felt threatened or cornered, or even his dismissive closed off demeanor when he couldn’t think of any comeback. This was none of those and for a half a second, Spencer thought San Ho- Namsaeng’s other boyfriend who’s shared centuries-old past still baffled him- bribed him with alcohol and sex in exchange for this talk. “What?” Namsaeng’s warm smile fell, “San Ho was nagging me like an old hag all morning to talk to you today, but, if you don’t want to—” “No no, I do…” Spencer took off his shoes and approached the couch. “I- I just didn’t expect you to want to discuss Goguryeo is all.” Spencer sat beside him and focused on the box. Since he came to Seoul, Spencer’s new job dealt with more than just the criminally insane, he joined an organization known as UMBRA, that had dealt with extraterrestrials and international crime organizations that used or sold alien tech on the black market. He never thought that the former U.N. representative- turned Rockstar after resigning- that he’d been dating for five years was an immortal from the Three Kingdom’s dynasty. Spencer barely grasped the reality that this was all real, but, being in love with a thirteen-hundred-year-old former military leader wasn’t easy to process. He still asked himself how he ended up with a borderline narcissist with psychopathic tendencies and sadistic streak. Maybe it was his charm and charisma, his profound knowledge of East-Asian history- which now he knew why- or his confidence and interest in music. Spencer loved intelligent and passionate people, and Namsaeng was all those things despite his flaws. Namsaeng pulled out an ornate gold and silver hairpin. Its designs were customary to Goguryeo and its detail reflected the social status Namsaeng had back then. “I don’t remember a lot, but, I think my mother gave this to me.” It was worn down now, the gold dull and designs worn. Spencer took it from him and admired it. Some of the gems that were in it had gone missing, despite that, it was still elegant. "what was your mother like?” Spencer asked as he passed the hairpiece back to him. His mind spiraled with questions, what was Yeon Gaesomun really like? Was he truly the military dictator that history made him out to be? What kind of life did he lead all this time? Did he have other families or just his son? How did he become immortal? Spencer knew if he asked all these questions Namsaeng would close up on him and withdraw. He had to be mindful of his words and questions. “She was quiet and gentle. My father didn’t like outspoken women, but, he did admire women who were intelligent- especially in the arts and literature.” He smiled a little, “she used to write a lot. When my father was away, she would read to me and my brothers… and when I had Eun San, she’d read to him too.” Namsaeng’s expression grew nostalgic, his smile wasn’t his usual cocky one, rather, genuine and tender. “Eun San loved reading and music. Mother thought he’d become a scholar.” “Maybe he got the musical talent from you?” Spencer teased, then bit his lip when Namsaeng rolled his eyes. “My father wanted all of us to make our country strong and to focus our attention on stopping Tang’s invasion.” Namsaeng’s warm voice hardened and became withdrawn as he pulled out a gold ring. “I don’t remember where I got this, but, I always liked it.” He said and passed it over to Spencer. “Eun San would constantly beg me to let him wear this thing when he was five.” He mused. “Why didn’t you give it to him?” Spencer said as he took the ring and looked it over. His lips quirked a little, “were you a diva back then too?” His tone came light and playful. He chuckled when Namsaeng glared at him. “No, he had a habit of taking off and losing them or getting ink on them when he’d paint.” Namsaeng took back the gold ring and placed it on his index finger. His eyes lingered on his hand, the weight of the metal was foreign to him now. He used to wear it all the time- and still would if he could- but, having not worn for centuries, it felt strange on his fingers compared to the occasional jewelry he wore now. It was no surprise that he was holding back. Even though they were talking, and he was showing him his jewelry, they weren’t really talking. How much does he remember about that era? It was normal to forget over time, and if he actively tried to forget it because of the emotional impact, it would make sense. His brows knit together upon seeing a small metal vile in the bottom of the box. At this rate, the only way he’d truly get answers about his past is if he pried a bit. “What’s this?” He boldly reached into the box and grabbed it. “Hey!” Namsaeng’s hand shot out and ripped it from his hand. “Don’t touch that!” His demeanor hardened as his mental and emotional barriers shot up. Silence hung in the air and Namsaeng realized this was a mistake. Taking off the ring, he put his belongings back and closed the box, “forget it, this was a bad idea.” He got up and walked to his room to put it away. “What’s wrong?” Spencer rose to his feet and went after him, “Hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.” What was significant about that bottle that warranted such a reaction? Spencer’s mind raced trying to think of the answer. Namsaeng was thirteen-hundred-years old, no doubt in that time he’d seen many loved ones die… what if that bottle was his way out? Spencer’s chest tightened, and his stomach knotted at the thought. “Wait, wait, let's talk about this please.” He pressed on. He didn’t show signs akin to suicidal tendencies, but, then again profiling someone like him was near impossible. He knew him, but, Spencer realized that he didn’t truly know anything about him. Everything he knew about his lover was- in a way- a projection of himself- much akin to the Rockstar persona he wore when he’d put on his leather and makeup and become “Kumiho” for his fans. Namsaeng sighed, taking a moment to calm his thoughts and frustration. This wasn’t what he’d hoped for, all he wanted was to reminisce about the good memories surrounding Goguryeo before its fall and talk about his family. But all it did was agitate old scars and remind him that… “Would you resent your father if you had to protect him?” His hands gripped the sealed box as he stood in the middle of his bedroom. His anger melted into dejection as his downcast gaze focused on it. He couldn’t look at Spencer even though he saw him standing in the doorway from out of the corner of his eye. Spencer tilted his head slightly and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t know. I try not to think of him too much.” What was there to say about a man that abandoned his son and mentally ill mother? Nothing. “I took care of my mother since my father left us, but I don’t resent her for it. Why?” This wasn’t entirely a fair comparison, but, then there wasn’t much in his life that could compare to what Namsaeng had experienced. What did he expect him to say? Of course, he’d have no way of understanding something like this. This was different. Throughout his life, Namsaeng regretted many things, things he did and didn’t do. Perhaps living indefinitely was his punishment for his sins. “Never mind. It’s…” He sucked in a deep breath and tried to dodge this whole conversation. “Forget I said anything.” “Namsaeng, please, talk to me.” He wasn’t about to let it go. If he did, he’d likely never get this chance again with him. “Please, for once talk to me.” “What is there to say? History speaks for itself. My father was a warlord, I was framed for treason and fled to Tang with the help of Eun San. I used my influence to get a high ranking military position among the very nation who plotted to invade us. My brothers tried to assassinate me because they thought my new military position and connections would be their undoing.” He scoffed bitterly. “Eun San was only fifteen...” He began, “when I came back to Pyongyang and found him on the floor suffocating and choking up blood.” Namsaeng pulled the bottle out faced Spencer holding the bottle in his hand. “I keep this, so I never forget the price of a reputation. My son was killed because he warned me and insisted I flee to Tang for safety.” Resentment boiled within him, as much as he tried to bury the past, the guilt still ate at him. “I failed my country and my family.” What bothered him most, wasn’t just the murder and the betrayal- it went deeper than that. Spencer took a couple of steps forward and reached out to Namsaeng only to stop himself when Namsaeng withdrew. “It wasn’t your fault. Eun San loved you and tried to protect you—” “I’m forgetting him! What kind of father forgets their child!” His hand clenched the metal bottle causing his knuckles to pale. “I look at these things and can hardly remember anything from that time. I loved him- I still do- and I can’t remember what his laughter sounds like or his smile… I can barely remember his face. Am I going to forget him completely one day?” The hand that clenched the bottle trembled from how hard he squeezed. “The only vivid memory I have of him was how he died.” The anger in his voice shook with sorrow and guilt. His desperate eyes searched Spencer’s for any sign of understanding or answers. That’s what he was best at, explaining things like this- finding solutions. “It’s normal to forget. The only real memory of my father was when he left.” What was he supposed to say? It wasn’t Namsaeng’s fault that he couldn’t remember, nor was he to blame for his son’s murder. “Your brain can only retain so much information and over time the details fade.” He pressed his lips together as he added,  “Namsaeng, you’re not responsible for what they did to him. I’m sure he knew what he was risking when he told you.” Spencer reached out and rested his hand over the hand that gripped the bottle and gently squeezed it in reassurance. As Namsaeng started to calm down, a thought occurred to Spencer. “I don’t know if this will work but, we have a way to help victims recall certain details and events when they witness something traumatic.” Thought in Namsaeng’s case it might not work given how long ago it was. “We could see if it’ll help you remember Eun San, but, there’s a chance—” “All right.” Namsaeng murmured. Even if it didn’t work, he wanted to try anyway. He had to hold onto his memory for as long as he could. To Namsaeng, the greatest sin was... ... to forget his son.

[bionic-bat-archive]

Sins of the Father

Summary:

What is the price of living forever?

Spencer learns that his partner of five years lives with a burden only a parent can understand, and the wounds run back centuries.

Warning: Murder, death, brief mentions of suicide, war,

Notes: I slapped this together on the spur of the moment. The premise loosely focuses on an RP between me and @dontshootmespence and the relationship between Spencer and my OC (well... more like a sci-fi/fantasy adaptation of the historical figure for an upcoming original series) Yeon Namsaeng

 Hope you enjoy! It hasn’t been edited or betad again it just came to me in the heat of the moment.

@g-liveblogs

Namsaeng sat on his leather couch in his large luxurious living-room. His gaze was transfixed on the small wooden box that sat on the glass coffee table before him. It’s old wooden shell weathered with time mirroring the age of the contents within.

His long slender fingers ran along its smooth frame as he opened it and looked at the ancient jewelry held within. All he had were these mementos of a dynasty now marked in the pages of history.

A soft knock wrapped at the door. Namsaeng’s ears perked as he heard the familiar footsteps against his marble floor.

“Hey, I would’ve come sooner when I got your message, but, I was tied up in this case. Everything okay?” Spencer’s calm but nervous voice broke the pensive silence that hung in the air. As much as he tried, he couldn’t fully turn off the profiling part of his mind. When Namsaeng didn’t answer right away, the gears whirred deep within- imprinting every detail to his memory. The way Namsaeng’s short hair caressed his high-set cheekbones and framed his effeminate warm-toned oval face. How his round almond eyes were focused on an old wooden box he held. His thin wiry body was relaxed- even in the tight black leather he was wearing from the band’s photo shoot earlier.

Spencer could only guess what his boyfriend of five years was thinking. All the profiling skills he had couldn’t fully unravel the layers of Namsaeng’s psyche. Only when he learned his boyfriend was 1300 years old did it make sense why. His walls were fortified with over a millennium of mental conditioning, and the horrors of immortality and changing history only made him stronger.

“You wanted to talk about my past,” Namsaeng’s voice broke the silence. He looked up, his cat-like lips pressing into a calm smile- dimpling his soft angular cheeks. He patted the leather seat next to him, “I thought I’d show you something first.”

Spencer’s brows furrowed, and he idly licked his lips. He expected a few reactions from Namsaeng after their talk the previous night; Namsaeng’s usual rock ‘n roll diva attitude, the aggressive – now- ex-politician image he’d take on when he felt threatened or cornered, or even his dismissive closed off demeanor when he couldn’t think of any comeback. This was none of those and for a half a second, Spencer thought San Ho- Namsaeng’s other boyfriend who’s shared centuries-old past still baffled him- bribed him with alcohol and sex in exchange for this talk.

“What?” Namsaeng’s warm smile fell, “San Ho was nagging me like an old hag all morning to talk to you today, but, if you don’t want to—”

“No no, I do…” Spencer took off his shoes and approached the couch. “I- I just didn’t expect you to want to discuss Goguryeo is all.” Spencer sat beside him and focused on the box. Since he came to Seoul, Spencer’s new job dealt with more than just the criminally insane, he joined an organization known as UMBRA, that had dealt with extraterrestrials and international crime organizations that used or sold alien tech on the black market.

He never thought that the former U.N. representative- turned Rockstar after resigning- that he’d been dating for five years was an immortal from the Three Kingdom’s dynasty. Spencer barely grasped the reality that this was all real, but, being in love with a thirteen-hundred-year-old former military leader wasn’t easy to process. He still asked himself how he ended up with a borderline narcissist with psychopathic tendencies and sadistic streak. Maybe it was his charm and charisma, his profound knowledge of East-Asian history- which now he knew why- or his confidence and interest in music. Spencer loved intelligent and passionate people, and Namsaeng was all those things despite his flaws.

Namsaeng pulled out an ornate gold and silver hairpin. Its designs were customary to Goguryeo and its detail reflected the social status Namsaeng had back then. “I don’t remember a lot, but, I think my mother gave this to me.” It was worn down now, the gold dull and designs worn.

Spencer took it from him and admired it. Some of the gems that were in it had gone missing, despite that, it was still elegant. “what was your mother like?” Spencer asked as he passed the hairpiece back to him. His mind spiraled with questions, what was Yeon Gaesomun really like? Was he truly the military dictator that history made him out to be? What kind of life did he lead all this time? Did he have other families or just his son? How did he become immortal? Spencer knew if he asked all these questions Namsaeng would close up on him and withdraw. He had to be mindful of his words and questions.

“She was quiet and gentle. My father didn’t like outspoken women, but, he did admire women who were intelligent- especially in the arts and literature.” He smiled a little, “she used to write a lot. When my father was away, she would read to me and my brothers… and when I had Eun San, she’d read to him too.”

Namsaeng’s expression grew nostalgic, his smile wasn’t his usual cocky one, rather, genuine and tender. “Eun San loved reading and music. Mother thought he’d become a scholar.”

“Maybe he got the musical talent from you?” Spencer teased, then bit his lip when Namsaeng rolled his eyes.

“My father wanted all of us to make our country strong and to focus our attention on stopping Tang’s invasion.” Namsaeng’s warm voice hardened and became withdrawn as he pulled out a gold ring. “I don’t remember where I got this, but, I always liked it.” He said and passed it over to Spencer. “Eun San would constantly beg me to let him wear this thing when he was five.” He mused.

“Why didn’t you give it to him?” Spencer said as he took the ring and looked it over. His lips quirked a little, “were you a diva back then too?” His tone came light and playful. He chuckled when Namsaeng glared at him.

“No, he had a habit of taking off and losing them or getting ink on them when he’d paint.” Namsaeng took back the gold ring and placed it on his index finger. His eyes lingered on his hand, the weight of the metal was foreign to him now. He used to wear it all the time- and still would if he could- but, having not worn for centuries, it felt strange on his fingers compared to the occasional jewelry he wore now.

It was no surprise that he was holding back. Even though they were talking, and he was showing him his jewelry, they weren’t really talking. How much does he remember about that era? It was normal to forget over time, and if he actively tried to forget it because of the emotional impact, it would make sense. His brows knit together upon seeing a small metal vile in the bottom of the box. At this rate, the only way he’d truly get answers about his past is if he pried a bit. “What’s this?” He boldly reached into the box and grabbed it.

“Hey!” Namsaeng’s hand shot out and ripped it from his hand. “Don’t touch that!” His demeanor hardened as his mental and emotional barriers shot up. Silence hung in the air and Namsaeng realized this was a mistake. Taking off the ring, he put his belongings back and closed the box, “forget it, this was a bad idea.” He got up and walked to his room to put it away.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer rose to his feet and went after him, “Hey I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.” What was significant about that bottle that warranted such a reaction? Spencer’s mind raced trying to think of the answer.

Namsaeng was thirteen-hundred-years old, no doubt in that time he’d seen many loved ones die… what if that bottle was his way out? Spencer’s chest tightened, and his stomach knotted at the thought. “Wait, wait, let's talk about this please.” He pressed on. He didn’t show signs akin to suicidal tendencies, but, then again profiling someone like him was near impossible. He knew him, but, Spencer realized that he didn’t truly know anything about him. Everything he knew about his lover was- in a way- a projection of himself- much akin to the Rockstar persona he wore when he’d put on his leather and makeup and become “Kumiho” for his fans.

Namsaeng sighed, taking a moment to calm his thoughts and frustration. This wasn’t what he’d hoped for, all he wanted was to reminisce about the good memories surrounding Goguryeo before its fall and talk about his family. But all it did was agitate old scars and remind him that…

“Would you resent your father if you had to protect him?” His hands gripped the sealed box as he stood in the middle of his bedroom. His anger melted into dejection as his downcast gaze focused on it. He couldn’t look at Spencer even though he saw him standing in the doorway from out of the corner of his eye.

Spencer tilted his head slightly and licked his lips. “I wouldn’t know. I try not to think of him too much.” What was there to say about a man that abandoned his son and mentally ill mother? Nothing.

“I took care of my mother since my father left us, but I don’t resent her for it. Why?” This wasn’t entirely a fair comparison, but, then there wasn’t much in his life that could compare to what Namsaeng had experienced.

What did he expect him to say? Of course, he’d have no way of understanding something like this. This was different. Throughout his life, Namsaeng regretted many things, things he did and didn’t do. Perhaps living indefinitely was his punishment for his sins. “Never mind. It’s…” He sucked in a deep breath and tried to dodge this whole conversation. “Forget I said anything.”

“Namsaeng, please, talk to me.” He wasn’t about to let it go. If he did, he’d likely never get this chance again with him. “Please, for once talk to me.”

“What is there to say? History speaks for itself. My father was a warlord, I was framed for treason and fled to Tang with the help of Eun San. I used my influence to get a high ranking military position among the very nation who plotted to invade us. My brothers tried to assassinate me because they thought my new military position and connections would be their undoing.” He scoffed bitterly.

“Eun San was only fifteen...” He began, “when I came back to Pyongyang and found him on the floor suffocating and choking up blood.” Namsaeng pulled the bottle out faced Spencer holding the bottle in his hand. “I keep this, so I never forget the price of a reputation. My son was killed because he warned me and insisted I flee to Tang for safety.” Resentment boiled within him, as much as he tried to bury the past, the guilt still ate at him. “I failed my country and my family.” What bothered him most, wasn’t just the murder and the betrayal- it went deeper than that.

Spencer took a couple of steps forward and reached out to Namsaeng only to stop himself when Namsaeng withdrew. “It wasn’t your fault. Eun San loved you and tried to protect you—”

“I’m forgetting him! What kind of father forgets their child!” His hand clenched the metal bottle causing his knuckles to pale. “I look at these things and can hardly remember anything from that time. I loved him- I still do- and I can’t remember what his laughter sounds like or his smile… I can barely remember his face. Am I going to forget him completely one day?” 

The hand that clenched the bottle trembled from how hard he squeezed. “The only vivid memory I have of him was how he died.” The anger in his voice shook with sorrow and guilt. His desperate eyes searched Spencer’s for any sign of understanding or answers. That’s what he was best at, explaining things like this- finding solutions.

“It’s normal to forget. The only real memory of my father was when he left.” What was he supposed to say? It wasn’t Namsaeng’s fault that he couldn’t remember, nor was he to blame for his son’s murder. “Your brain can only retain so much information and over time the details fade.” He pressed his lips together as he added, “Namsaeng, you’re not responsible for what they did to him. I’m sure he knew what he was risking when he told you.” Spencer reached out and rested his hand over the hand that gripped the bottle and gently squeezed it in reassurance. As Namsaeng started to calm down, a thought occurred to Spencer.

“I don’t know if this will work but, we have a way to help victims recall certain details and events when they witness something traumatic.” Thought in Namsaeng’s case it might not work given how long ago it was. “We could see if it’ll help you remember Eun San, but, there’s a chance—”

“All right.” Namsaeng murmured. Even if it didn’t work, he wanted to try anyway. He had to hold onto his memory for as long as he could.

To Namsaeng, the greatest sin was...

... to forget his son.

[the-desolated-quill]

Empress Of Mars - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Well... at least it’s not as bad as Sleep No More.

Yes it seems Mark Gatiss decided to spare us the agony of a sequel to his derivative, found footage schlock in favour of a return visit to the Ice Warriors. And this time, we’re going to the Red Planet itself.

I can’t say I was optimistic going into this. Gatiss’ last attempt at an Ice Warrior story was a bit of a letdown and I’ve never exactly been a big fan of the Ice Warriors anyway. They’re not bad, just not very interesting. Despite 1972′s The Curse Of Peladon setting the stage for a more complex and engaging path for the Ice Warriors to take, Doctor Who has frustratingly never taken it. Instead forcing them to tread the same alien invasion route again and again.

In some ways Empress Of Mars serves as a prequel to The Curse Of Peladon (there’s even a surprise cameo appearance from Alpha Centauri at the end with Ysanne Churchman reprising the role). In theory this could have been a great opportunity to give the Ice Warriors the depth they desperately need and that Who has stubbornly refused to capitalise on until now. Depict how the Ice Warriors went from being a race of nomadic conquerers to the noble peacekeepers of the Galactic Federation.

Sadly it isn’t.

So it’s 1881, and already I’m confused. If the Ice Warriors join the Galactic Federation in 1881, why did they try to invade Earth in The Seeds Of Death? Were they another rogue chapter like the ones in The Monster Of Peladon? That doesn’t seem likely. But anyway, it’s 1881 and it’s the Martians vs the British Empire. Like H.G Wells, only not as good. These Victorian soldier guys have fixed an Ice Warrior’s spaceship (how they did that I have no idea) and have come to claim Mars in the name of Queen Victoria. God save the Queen, tally ho and all that bollocks. But thanks to a cockney tea leaf who can’t keep his hands off a shiny thing for five fucking minutes, the Ice Queen has been resurrected and now it’s a war... unless the Doctor does something... which he doesn’t. In fact that’s one of the many problems with this story. The Doctor seems to be almost superfluous to the plot. He doesn’t actually do anything, merely being a spectator. Same with Bill, although she does get some good moments, like when she confronts the Ice Queen. The other main problem is that Empress Of Mars is titanically dull.

It looks as though Mark Gatiss’ ideas bucket is getting very empty. Not only is this set in the Victorian era again, a lot of the plot feels like its been borrowed wholesale from the previous Ice Warrior story Cold War. You’ve got the Doctor pleading ineffectually at the Ice Warriors to show mercy, a one dimensional traitor who wants to fight the Ice Warriors despite all the evidence demonstrating why this is a spectacularly stupid idea, and the Ice Warriors themselves being little more than angry, ranting, shouty brutes with almost non-existent motivations.

Also, like in Cold War, Gatiss seems to be borrowing liberally from the Silurians, but it doesn’t work for two reasons. The first is the context. Both humans and Silurians share the same planet and have an equal claim to it. Here, the humans are invading Mars. The Ice Warriors are clearly in the right here. Quite why Friday and the Doctor want the two to form an alliance I don’t know. I fail to see what humanity could possibly offer the Ice Warriors. Yes Mars is a dead world now, but the Ice Warriors still have far superior tech. They don’t really have anything to worry about. The second is the complexity, or rather the lack of it. It’s not possible to sympathise with either side of the conflict because both sides are portrayed in a ludicrously over the top fashion. The Ice Queen does the usual shouting, warmongering nonsense, whereas Friday is portrayed as being so nice to the point of being delusional. He believes that humanity could help rebuild Mars (why does he believe this?! Someone explain this to me!), and even when the soldiers start attacking, he still insists on defending them. He’s just such a flat character with no depth or personality whatsoever.

The humans on the other hand are somehow even worse. Man, don’t you just hate the British Empire? With their imperialist colonialism and racist arrogance? Yes! Of course we do! But do you know what would be more interesting? Exploring why someone would willingly buy into that kind of elitist entitlement. No one is racist just because. Why do they feel superior? Why do they look down on others? Then while you’re answering those questions, use the opportunity to take them down a peg or two. But no. It’s all tea and scones and over the top RP accents. They’re little more than caricatures. 

Only two characters stand out. Traitor guy and Captain Coward (I can’t remember their names and I bet you can’t either). Traitor guy is so one dimensionally evil, it borders on comical. He declares war on the Ice Warriors for no reason other than he’s British and they’re ‘savages’ (snort), and when that doesn’t work, he scarpers off and takes the Ice Queen hostage after the Doctor threatens everyone with a giant gun (yes. A giant gun. That’s bound to help calm things down, you fucking moron). Again, no idea why he decides to threaten the Ice Queen. He reckons she can fly the spaceship, but why does he think that? That would be like kidnapping Queen Victoria because she knows how to ride a horse. And then there’s Captain Coward. A deserter who was hanged, but survived and so his executioners just shrugged it off and allowed him to rejoin the army.

Rrrrright.

Then once he’s shot Traitor guy and the Ice Queen has praised him for sacrificing the bastard without gaining a tactical advantage (I would have thought stopping a traitor from half-inching your spaceship and only means of escape was a tactical advantage, but hey ho. You say tomato, I say this is a shit script), Captain Coward promptly forgets about the Queen and country he pledged to serve and instead joins the Ice Warriors instead. Presumably he’s going to help rebuild Mars by making the tea.

And then we end with the Master showing up and being all concerned about the Doctor’s wellbeing, which would have been more impactful if we had seen her growth and development over the course of the series instead of it happening entirely offscreen. Also am I the only one starting to detect a whiff of Moffat style sexism here? Can you imagine a male Master doing this? Please don’t tell me the only reason the sex change occurred was just to make the Master yet another one dimensional female character to prop up the Doctor? Don’t we already have enough of those?

So that was Empress Of Mars. Cliched, dull, unoriginal and painfully unsubtle. If you want a Victorian era sci-fi story that criticises imperial colonialism and features Martians, read War Of The Worlds instead.

[porkchop-ao3]

I’m always here for FC Rick. Maybe what he does with female reader when the band isn’t touring and they’re taking time off?

This was a nice request… Thank you :)

-

I stared down at Rick as he slept. Face down, snores muffled by the pillow, he was completely naked aside from the leather choker around his neck that seemed ever present. I let my eyes roll down the ridges in his spine as it curved nicely down to his cute little ass. I smiled fondly, weirdly endeared by the pale, round cheeks that were so innocently exposed to me. The temptation to put my hands on him was real, but the last thing I wanted to do was wake him up. He needed his sleep, the poor guy.

He’d just finished a tour, covering twelve planets over eight Galaxy’s, and I knew it would’ve been months since he’d had a real chance to rest. Between the shows, the wild parties, the practice sessions and full on days of exploring each planet with me, he barely managed to get three hours a night. It didn’t help that he was spoon fed drugs and alcohol the entire time he was on tour, and despite what the bags under his eyes said he insisted he was never too tired to give me a good rogering. At this point his body was completely spent. It always was after his tours. That was why it had become a sort of tradition that he booked a week, sometimes more, in the swankiest hotel he could find on whatever alien planet we were on. He’d spend the time sleeping, and when he’d had enough of that he’d spend the rest of the time recuperating. We’d lounge around the hotel all day; watching TV, indulging in room service, and having lots and lots of laid back make out sessions.

Nothing was forced or took effort, the two of us made sure of that. We rarely left the room, unless the hotel had a pool or a hot tub somewhere; then we made sure to take advantage of it. While he was on tour, Rick was almost constantly surrounded by people, whether it be his band mates, his fans, or the people running the establishments they played at, it was tough for him to get a moment to himself. Sometimes I even felt bad about him having to spend time with me, when I knew he could use just a few hours of solitude. Of course Rick had scoffed at this, telling me I was being ridiculous. It made me feel better for a while, but I still gave him his space on the first couple of days after his tour. I only woke him up every now and then to get some food into him, other than that, I left him to it, often exploring the nearby area on my own.

We were on day three of our ‘vacation’, and Rick had been sleeping for the past fourteen hours. It was midday, and I knew he’d be waking up soon enough feeling hungry, so I went ahead and ordered some room service. Being on an alien planet, none of the food was familiar, and it was usually hit or miss as to whether what you received was palatable or not. But Rick and I had found a few solid options over the past couple of days, so I ordered those and wrapped up in the deep red silk kimono that Rick had bought for me about three tours ago. It was about the closest thing I got to ‘dressed’ on these occasions, it was a sort of unspoken rule that being naked was comfortable and was the most appropriate state to be in when one was recuperating. Plus it made sex a lot more convenient, with none of those pesky clothes to get in the way.

The food came quickly, and I opened the door to receive it from the scaly red humanoid who delivered it. I thanked them in English, and it seemed they understood, before I closed the door and wheeled the fancy trolley over to the bed. Rick stirred, probably smelling his late breakfast arriving. The food was all sweet in nature, and I assumed it was all made with unfamiliar fruit, native to this planet. There was something close to pastry incorporated into some of the dishes, others were gelatinous, some cold, some hot. They were all desert-like, and very yummy.

“Hey.” I said softly, taking a seat on the bed next to Rick as he opened his eyes, blinking up at me. He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, rolling onto his back.

“Mmm, food.” He mumbled, breathing in through his nose as he sat up. He leaned over to me, planting a kiss on the side of my head. “You’re an angel.” He told me, chuckling. He scooted to the edge of the bed and tucked into the food, munching away quietly for a while. I picked up one of the pastry items, since it looked too good to resist.

“Are you awake now?” I asked him. My question wasn’t literal, of course he was awake. But Rick knew what I was getting at.

“Y-yeah. I think I can grace you w-with my consciousness for a while.” He smirked. “That tour was a rough one, ho-how long have we been here for?” He asked, licking a blob of fruity goo from the corner of his mouth.

“This is the third day.” I told him. The days often blended together for him, since he slept for around eighty percent of the time.

“The th-third? Oh man. Sorry, y-you must’ve been bored shitless.” he said, and I laughed in response, shaking my head.

“I can have fun without you, you know.” I teased, polishing off the pastry and licking my fingers. He raised a brow at me and spun to face me, bringing one leg up onto the bed and hooking it behind me, scooting himself closer.

“Is-is that so?” He asked, and I nodded my head. “So what have you been doing?”

“I went for a walk around the city yesterday, looked in some of the shops. I didn’t buy anything; the clothes here are… very strange.” I snorted. The fashion on this planet was exactly how old sci-fi films interpreted futuristic fashion; everything was either metallic silver or transparent. “There’s a nice park down the road, it has a pond with all sorts of weird fish in it. I spoke to an alien there who knew English.”

“What did’ya talk about?” He asked with a mouthful of food.

“Mostly about earth. They don’t get many human visitors here, do they?” I said, and Rick shook his head, a laugh escaping him.

“Nowhere does. You and I are the only hu-humans with the ability to travel to different planets and di-dimensions.” He reminded me and I nodded my head, glancing over at the buffet.

“Oh yeah. I forget I’m dating the smartest human being in existence, sometimes.” I smirked. Rick hummed in approval, his chest puffing out slightly at the flattery. “So I’ve got you all to myself for the next few days, hmm?”

“If-if you want me.” He confirmed. I hooked two fingers in the ring on his choker, and urged him close to me. I pressed a kiss to his lips, he tasted sugary and sweet, and I ran my tongue over his bottom lip out of instinct. He chuckled and pulled away slightly, denying me access. “You’re gonna want me t-to brush my teeth. It’s been th-three days.” He told me, and I let him go, dropping down onto my back, sinking into the puffy cushions beneath me.

“Like I care. I’ve put my tongue in worse places.” I said, and he gave a deep laugh.

“True. B-but even I think my mouth tastes like shit.” He said, stuffing his face a little more before disappearing to the bathroom. I closed my eyes and waited, planting my hands behind my head as I relaxed into the impossible softness of the bed. I didn’t know what the hell these aliens used to stuff their mattresses, but humans were sleeping on goddamn rocks back at home.

I didn’t hear Rick return, but I felt his hands tug on the tie around my waist that was keeping my kimono together; he parted the silk, exposing my body to him. I hummed pleasantly as he pressed his face into my stomach, dragging his nose and his lips up my body, planting wet kisses on my skin. His thumbs rubbed circles on my hip bones, and he crawled up my body, kissing my nipples one by one before moving his attention up to my neck. I pushed my fingers into his hair, staring up at the ceiling as he showered me with affection. His tongue drew dainty patterns up to my ear, and he took a moment to suck on my earlobe. He then nibbled on the shell of my ear, before moving his lips to my face. I stared at his closed eyes as he dotted my face with kisses, before finally giving me what I needed and connecting our lips.

His kiss was slow and passionate, his lips moving with mine almost like a dance. If I had to pick a genre, it would be the tango. I trailed my hands up his back, tangling my fingers in his hair as he nipped at my lip, soothing me quickly after with a gentle sweep of his tongue. I coaxed his tongue into my mouth, continuing that dance in the warmth of our mouths. He moaned and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, rolling onto his back and pulling me on top of him. There was no urgency in our movements, no burning need to advance the situation, we simply enjoyed the kiss as it was.

Rick fiddled with the tie of my kimono, running his fingers down the strip of silk before holding onto my waist. It was my turn to explore his body with my mouth, and I broke the kiss to press my lips underneath his jaw, feeling the prickly brush of his stubble. I secretly loved it when he went a few days without shaving; a stubble really suited him. I grazed my teeth over his neck, hooking my fingers once again in the ring on his choker, giving little tugs. My lips followed the planes of his body down to his chest, and I let my hand continue the journey on down to his abdomen, feeling the subtle muscle tone there, and how it contracted when my touch stooped low. I straightened up, looking down at his eyes; they were glazed over with adoration, and it made my heart swell.

His hands moved to cup my breasts and he sat up to bury his face there, nipping and sucking on the soft flesh. I gave breathy moan, reaching my hand down to where his cock lay against his hip, half hard. I stroked him gently, hearing his breath become laboured as I worked him to his full length. Once he was there, I pushed him onto his back by his shoulders, adjusting my position so I could grind my pussy up and down his hard length. He pushed his hips up into me, exhaling with a hiss and a grunt. I played with my breasts above him, giving him a show as I coated his erection with my own lubrication. He reached out to thumb my clitoris, stroking it in quick circles.

I was a panting mess by the time he gripped my hips and rolled me off of him. He guided me to lay on my side, my back to him, and he brought a hand behind my knee, lifting it up so he could slide his cock between my legs. He entered me from behind, and quickly began rocking into me. I whimpered and leaned my head back against his shoulder, holding onto the sheets below me for support. He kissed my neck as he thrust into me, reaching his hand down to work my clit again.

His pace quickened, and so did my heart rate, I could do no more than gasp and pant and take it. Rick murmured unintelligibly into my ear, and I could only manage to pick up the occasional word. “Beautiful… so good, I’m gonna… I love… baby.”

His other hand snaked underneath me and could just about reach my breast, he pawed at me, squeezing and pinching my nipple, gently rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. The stimulation that simply surrounded me was becoming too much, and I could feel my end draw closer. Rick seemed to sense this, and fucked me harder, the bed rocking with the force of it, the rhythmic slapping of skin on skin sounding out across the otherwise quiet room. The two of us became more vocal, Rick’s heavy breaths and deep grunts were a constant, along with my breathy sighs and pathetic sounding little mewls.

“Cum for me. I know y-you’re close.” Rick whispered into my ear. “Mmm, I can feel it with how tight and wet you are. I’m gonna nut so fuckin’ hard. Are you ready baby?” He purred, and I shook violently, my muscles coiled as I teetered on the edge. “Unng, fuck, p-please…” he suddenly wailed, sounding desperately aroused, and those words finally pushed me off that edge.

“Fuck! Mmm, fu-” I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut as he fucked me through each intense wave of my orgasm. Rick laughed in delight behind me, but it was cut in half by a sharp intake of breath. I opened my eyes in time for him to pull out of me, rub his cock against my slit a few times before I had the pleasure of watching him shoot his load between my legs. It spurted across the mattress at an impressive distance, and he bit down on my shoulder to stop the slew of curses that usually poured from his mouth during orgasm, instead all I heard was a broken wail and heavy, shaky breaths. It sure was a beautiful thing to witness, and I moaned in appreciation.

With a pleased sigh, he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him so my head was laying on his chest and his arm was draped around my waist. I laid there being gently rocked by the heavy rise and fall of his chest, and placed my hand over his. Neither of us said a word, not feeling the need to fill the silence. Rick planted a kiss on the top of my head, and I knew right then that I’d found a keeper.

[bluekayanite]

Theory: Are Gems A.I.s?

I personally believe that Gems are roughly the equivalent of androids, or other forms of artificial intelligence we’ll often see sci-fi.  Here’s why.  (Fair warning: I get into some science, including computer science.  I tried not to get too confusing but I make no guarantees.)

EDIT: Part 2

Gems aren’t entirely considered living

Okay, so Gems will sometimes use the terms “alive” and “dead” to refer to whether or not they’ve been broken.

“We don’t age, but we can still get hurt and die.” - Pearl, So Many Birthdays “I’m... alive.  *laughs* I’m unstoppable!” - Eyeball, Bubbled, after narrowly avoiding asteroids

And Peridot once uses the term “living” to mean “actually experiencing things, instead of just doing as told.”

“There’s so much life.  Living here... that’s what I’m doing!  I’m... living here!  I’m been learning new things about myself all the time!” - Peridot, Earthlings

But a lot of the time, Gems prefer other terms for “death,” such as “break,” “shatter,” “perish,” and “destroy.”  And in place of “life,” they often talk as if they simply exist.

“You had no idea?!  Ho!  This is like, my entire existence!” - Amethyst, On the Run “Steven, we can’t both exist.” - Rose, Lion 3: Straight to Video

There’s a scientific basis behind this.  While the exact definition of life is hard to pin down, one definition is that the thing in question needs to fit three criteria:

1. It needs to breathe to survive 2. It needs to consume fuel for sustenance and/or growth (eating) 3. It’s able to reproduce (some part of itself is used to make more of the same thing)

Some will point out that, by this definition, fire is alive (it requires oxygen, it keeps going by consuming flammable materials, and fire creates more fire).  Though let’s take a look at Gems:

1. They have no need to breathe (they can survive the vacuum of space indefinitely)

2. They don’t need to eat (they do absorb nutrients during incubation, but they stop when they emerge) 3. Gems are produced; they don’t reproduce (even Rose had to give her entire self to Steven, instead of just a part of herself)

If my theory on how Diamonds make Gems has anything to it, then it would be a stretch to say even the Diamonds reproduce, since they don’t seem to create more Diamonds.

Still, I personally think there might be deeper reason: the very fact that Gems are made.  They probably consider themselves more of a fabrication of life than the genuine article.

Gems don’t consider themselves people

The most obvious case of this is from We Need to Talk:

Greg: “Can you just... talk to me for one second like a real person?!” Rose: *long pause* “I’m... not... a real person.”

There are cases where “Gems” are mentioned as if a separate category from “people:”

“Uh... no such thing as a good war, kiddo.  Gems were destroyed.  People too.” - Greg, The Return

And the book Guide to the Crystal Gems, the intro, which is signed by Rebecca Sugar herself, starts off with this:

“There are a lot of people in this world who don’t fit in, and might act strange, and tend to keep to themselves.  That’s definitely true of the Crystal Gems, who aren’t even people at all!”

Now I’m sure many of us (myself included) would argue that Gems are people.  Still, this has shown up enough that I figure there’s got to be a reason for it.  I think it’s the same basic reasoning for them not being alive: the fact that they’re made.  Or they might not consider themselves people just because they aren’t alive, either.

Judging by Rose’s dialogue, they might argue that even if they are people, they aren’t real ones.

Gems are officially without gender

The creators of SU stated somewhere that Gems are genderless.  I don’t know where exactly, but it’s something most of the fanbase seems to know about.  I have seen an article that describes Gems as female-presenting, though apparently I didn’t save the link, and I’m having trouble finding it again...

Anyway, you know what else may seem to have a specific gender when they don’t really?  Robots.  And programs like Siri.  A.I.s might have genders in sci-fi, but so far, real-life robots can only be made to resemble a certain gender, at best, and it will often just be the way they look or sound.  Even if a robot may seem male or female, it’s not hard to realize that a robot is still just an “it.”

Peridot mentions that Gems have an “intended form,” and hints that Gems have certain traits programmed into them (e.g. Quartzes being loyal).  This seems like a hint that whatever femininity Gems have is because they’re designed to do so, and ultimately considered a facsimile.  Which also segues into my next point...

Gems appear to have programming

In Back to the Barn, it’s indirectly stated that Gems are designed for specific purposes, and it’s assumed they can’t go beyond their intended function... like with robots.

Peridot: “No no, you’re confused.  A Pearl can’t build a thing like this.” Steven: “Why not?” Peridot: “Because Pearls aren’t for this!”

In The Answer, Ruby also implies that Gems of the same type are basically considered the same person.

Sapphire: They were gonna... break you... Ruby: Who cares?  There’s tons of me!

Now, obviously this idea gets blown out of the water when me meet the Ruby Platoon.

(Image from here.)

There’s definitely some variance between Gems of the same type, possibly (at least partly) due to the exact conditions they incubate in.  Normally, programmed things stick to a specific behavior, with no variation between them.

I think it’s more likely that certain Gems are made with a specific template, and that as long as they’re within the designed specifications (or at least within tolerances), they’re considered acceptable.  Too far outside the specifications, and they’re considered “flawed” and “defective”; terms that can apply to gemstones in real life, but also to technology.  The smaller artificial Fusions (which I like to call Frankengems) are even called “Cluster Prototypes” - another technological term.

Also: Peridot calls Pearls “made-to-order,” suggesting that Pearls are designed with a degree of customizability (which I personally suspect is part of why they’re on the bottom of the totem pole: they’re not necessarily designed for what the Diamonds choose).

But wait!  The idea of programming goes deeper:

Gems’ programming can be corrupted

Remember how Gem monsters are called “corrupted”?  That word is often used to imply that there’s something wrong with the very essence of something.  This is even the implied meaning given in Monster Reunion:

Pearl: Remember, she’s not cracked: she’s corrupted, and that’s something... different.  Something... nearly impossible to describe! Garnet: It’s sort of like... if MC Bear Bear didn’t tear the fabric of his arm, but the fabric of his mind.

In programming, the term ‘corrupted’ refers to data that’s been overwritten, erased, or otherwise damaged.  For example, I’ve tried recovering deleted files before, and ended up with some pictures that looked something like this:

If Gems have some sort of programming at their core, then “corruption” could fit all these definitions.

Another term for corrupted files is “damaged” files, and Gem corruption is described as “damage from the Diamonds,” so that also fits.

Though personally, I think corrupted Gems look oddly... stable.  Gem corruption just plain doesn’t look like random data distortion to me.  In fact, Gems of the same type will turn into the same kind of creature.

And data corruption doesn’t usually spread between systems, like it did with Jasper.

To me, Gem “corruption” behaves more like a computer virus.  Viruses are designed to do specific things (which can include data corruption), and certain types of viruses will spread.  It might be more accurate to say that the Gem monsters are infected.  Granted, I suspect the Crystal Gems came up with the term ‘corruption’ to try and describe it as best as they knew how.

That said, I’m guessing Steven’s healing powers can recover data that’s been erased, but he can’t correct rearranged data or get rid of the underlying infection.  Fully restoring a Gem’s data might require the work of a master programmer: or in other words, a Diamond.

Damaged Gems can go glitchy

This is probably the strongest hint about Gems being A.I.s.  We don’t have to guess to see that “glitching” is what’s going on.

In Keeping It Together, the large, hand-like Frankengem glitches out as it tries to form.

When their Gemstones are damaged, Lapis gets stuck with mirror-eyes, and she can’t use her water wings.  Eyeball’s form glitches out.

Amethyst’s form really glitches out, with body parts getting misshapen and sticking out from the wrong places.

Plus, she starts speaking backwards, and if you reverse the audio, you’ll find that the first thing she says is “Hey guys!  What are you doing on the beach?”  This suggests that her memory glitches out, too.

I will note that this is probably closer to what natural data corruption looks like: a hard drive gets damaged, making it hard to read the data correctly, resulting in weird, random effects.  If the corruption gets worse, it’s because the hard drive is getting worse.  Granted, other faulty parts could be the cause, but it usually stems from a hardware issue.

Anyway, it seems to me like Gems glitching out speaks for itself in saying that Gems are probably A.I.s.  Really, if a program has a problem, what do you expect it to do besides glitch out?

Gems still aren’t your average A.I.s

I’ve mentioned that Gems with issues are still oddly stable.  Even if corrupted, their bodies are useable.  Even if cracked, they can usually still function, with their forms having some semblance of a complete body.  Even shattered Gems function surprisingly well.

This is surprising because even minor damage can sometimes bring down an entire computer system, depending on where the damage is.  One missing function for text generation can make a program crash on startup.  If a Gem’s code was in pieces, then I wouldn’t expect the pieces to be able to do much anything, because programs can’t function without the pieces being able to communicate.

Instead, cracked Gems can typically still walk and/or talk.  Lapis was still able to steal the ocean with her Gemstone cracked.   There’s also a contrast to what Pearl says about shattered Gems in the What Are Gems? minisode:

“If a Gem’s Gem is shattered completely... they’ll cease to be.” - Pearl, What Are Gems?

I think we’ve seen enough to confirm that this is a false assumption on the part of Gem society.  We can see that Gem shards can retain some of their powers, often still forming complete limbs, and with enough consciousness to try to find the other parts of themselves.

Granted, damaged and broken Gems functioning as well as they do might be chalked up to Crewniverse only being so tech-savvy, glitches being hard to accurately portray, and/or an attempt to keep the creepiness factor of the show to a relatively low level.  Though personally, I think there might be a reason damaged Gems are so stable.  It could be that Gems have sort of an adaptive programming with levels of redundancy, so they can keep going even if things get bad.

But what if it goes deeper than that?  What if there’s something behind their programming that keeps them going?  Say... a spark of life?

It could be that damaged Gems are so stable because, on some deeply-subconscious level, they’re still trying to hold themselves together.  It could be that they’re able to go beyond the limits of their programming because they do have souls.  This could also be the real reason why Gems of the same type can be so different.

Yeah, sure, I think they’re A.I.s, but I think you’ll probably agree that it doesn’t make them any less of people.

[clumothy]

All of them :3

I deserved this.1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Proooooobs cotton candy. Bubble gum loses its flavour way too fast

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Angry, annoying, uncooperative, etc. I wasn’t a pleasing student in elementary school

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m a fan of formal wear

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones

8. movies or tv shows?

movies

9. favorite smell in the summer?

campfires

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I usually skip breakfast

12. name of your favorite playlist?

“heck” lol its fun when I yell ‘Hey Siri, shuffle heck!’

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Sour Patch Kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

leaned on one side with a leg up

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

I have a zipup pair I love

18. ideal weather?

15 ° Celsius and sunny

19. sleeping position?

face down!

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone notes app

21. obsession from childhood?

I mean, Pokemon, Mario, Sonic, etc. The usuals

22. role model?

RDJ is pretty inspiring when you read his story

23. strange habits?

sleeping chest down? I’m not that strange of a person

24. favorite crystal?

Emerald

25. first song you remember hearing?

Another one Bites the Dust by Queen

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Go for walks. I am dog.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Stay inside. I am cat.

28. five songs to describe you?

A) Your Love - The Outfield

B) Heat of the Moment - Asia

C) Get a Ride - The Northern Hues

D) Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

E) Is it arrogant to say Iron Man - Black Sabbath?

29. best way to bond with you?

Quiet talks in low lit rooms. Sounds creepy, is fun in practice.

30. places that you find sacred?

The kitchen

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Dress as formally as possible

32. top five favorite vines?

I’m a Giraffe, Adam!, Is that a weed?, only one thing worse than a rapist, and of course: SHAWDY I DON’T MIND!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“That’s Fair.”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Avenge the Fallen

35. average time you fall asleep?

1:30 am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Does the Lazy Song by Bruno Mars

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

if its iced, tea.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Anything with meringue wins

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Someone gave the special needs kids weed brownies and that was a weird day.

41. last person you texted?

You

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I love my jacket pockets because they arent the average hand pockets but I keep my phone wallet and keys in my pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

leather jacket

44. favorite scent for soap?

uh. soap. Pumpkin I guess?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Tie between Fantasy and Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

tshirt and boxers

47. favorite type of cheese?

Dude. Cheesestrings are good. Idgaf

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

A spicy pepper

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

God you or chaz have said something like every week that made me laugh harder than the previous thing

51. current stresses?

doggos and schoooooooool

52. favorite font?

the uh. The coca cola font is nice. Isn’t it also the ford trucks?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a tad beat up but healing nicely

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Only give 100% of your effort if it makes you happy. If you’re giving 100% and you aren’t happy I guarantee no one cares. If you can get away with giving 60 or 70% and your boss is fine with that, awesome. Giving 100% all day every day is exhausting and if your job expects that of you it truly isn’t a good place to work. In my opinion at least

55. favorite fairy tale?

SHREK.

56. favorite tradition?

I dont really have any but I’m excited to start one or two

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Depression, school, learning to let go of “toxic and entitled” people

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing, designing, thinking quick and mathematics

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Talley Ho!” I wanna be a pirate don’t @ me

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

A farmer. I like Stardew Valley but as an anime

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

All that is gold does not glitter - J. R. R. Tolkien

62. seven characters you relate to?

Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Link Link, Jim Halpert, Edward Elric I guess, Bilbo Baggins, and uh. uh. Shrek?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

The Malo Mart theme on repeat, we don’t need any other songs. Ever.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkins and Miniclip

65. any permanent scars?

Three on my head/face, one on my stomach and probs one forming on my finger

66. favorite flower(s)?

lavender

67. good luck charms?

I love that triforce chip you got me

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

PEPPERMINT!

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Nintendo almost owned the Sony Playstation but backed out last moment. WHOOPS.

70. left or right handed?

Right for most things but oddly left handed on other things

71. least favorite pattern?

I agree with you, pokadots suck. but especially uneven pokadots

72. worst subject?

Biology

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

spicy and sweet, like the spicy gummies i had

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

10

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

who knoooows. Proooobs at age 3?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Tater tots! also fries too and flavoured chips

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A cactus. Lets get a cactus.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Sushiiiiii

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

School ID.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

WHATS THE DIFFERENCE

82. pc or console?

Both have perks but console mostly

83. writing or drawing?

drawing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio

84. barbie or polly pocket?

polly pocket. When i was a kid i went to this babysitter and the girls all played with Polly Pockets and I was the only guy and Polly Pockets were the same size as my Mario toys!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies

87. your greatest fear?

The death of those around me

88. your greatest wish?

A peaceful life with you and our friends with little to no stress

89. who would you put before everyone else?

You

90. luckiest mistake?

Breaking up with you a few years ago? Idk kinda helped our relationship in the longrun

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps

93. nicknames?

Clum/Clump/Clumothy and Smeef

94. favorite season?

Spring

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr probably

96. desktop background?

The master sword in the korok forest

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

two.

98. favorite historical era?

Medieval!

hooooly shit that was long

[theinkstainsblog]

2, 11, and 15, please, for the identity asks?

Thanks for sending these lovely xx These are some great ones.

2: have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

To be honest, I don’t think I really have. I mean I’ve certainly seen parts of me mirrored in various books and ideas, but I think the beauty of writing is it is putting our own thoughts on paper - and every writer’s voice can be so unique even when writing the same tired old stories, we’re always bringing new experiences and new flavour with us.

11: describe your ideal day.

You mean like realistically how I would like today to go or my dream day? I’ll answer for how I’d like today to go, then I can do positive thinking and see how much of it I manage.

How I’d like today to go:

- I get up, now, it’s 6:30 am. I get dressed, brush my hair. 

- I grab a bowl of cereal and while I’m eating I draft a new blog post to put up on my Wordpress later

- At about 7:30 am I brush my teeth, put shoes on, that kind of thing. 

- Hop on my bike. It’s about five miles to work which is fine but its mostly up hill. I will hate it while I’m doing it. That’s okay, I’ll be glad I did it later. 

- Get to work for 9:00am. Use my awesome ID thing to scan myself in at the door (I still feel like a spy doing that I’m such a child).

- Say good morning to everyone, make a cup of tea, settle down.

- Do some testing. Find some cool problems with the software. Confuse the poor developers with the problems. Poor developers. 

- Break at like 1:00 pm for lunch. I get half an hour lunch break which is the perfect time to sit down and work on my novel while I eat. Try to maintain a good balance between writing and chatting to my co-workers (who are all lovely) so as not to appear standoffish. Probably fail.

- Back to testing for the afternoon. Should all go smoothly from here. Unless the devs decide they want to get their nerf guns out or something that’s usually interesting. 

- 5:00pm. Cycle home again. Somehow magically avoid traffic so I can actually enjoy the downhills. Hate the uphills that there are because while there are a couple less, its not enough to make it worth it (Bath is all hill my guys. Up, down, up, down, up, down). 

- Get home for 6/6:30 pm. Kinda collapse for a minute. Probably read some more of The Raven Boys.

- Have dinner about 7:30pm. Hopefully something nice, like some good pasta puttanesca or something. 

- Have a quick bath, nice and hot. Read while I’m in there because I’m a risk-takerTM.

- Get out, its probably about 9:00pm. Finish off that blog post and put it up because this time of night my dash is busiest. 

- Do a self-compassion exercise for about fifteen minutes. It’ll feel a little emotionally draining but having been doing them for a month, I can start to feel how much its helping my outlook on things, which is improving my anxiety a lot so I know it’s worth it.

- Stay up til I feel tired somewhere between 10 and 12 pm. Try to get some more of my novel done during this time. 

- Chat to my boyfriend online before bed, we can’t see each other much at the moment because he works weekend shifts and I work Monday to Friday. Tell him I love him and hopefully feel loved and wanted back.

- Go to bed smiling because of it.

15: five most influential books over your lifetime.

Okay well: 

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by JK Rowling - as a kid, like a lot of you I’m sure, Harry Potter is the series that most influenced me. It’s the series that made me fall in love with the fantasy genre and magic and storytelling (although as a kid I told them out loud and acted them out with friends as this massive ongoing saga that for a while I fully believed in the way only a child can).

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman - Gaiman has been so so influential to me as a young fantasy writer, and this was the first book of his that I read. I actually saw a video of his Make Good Art speech before I read this, my dad sent me a link. And watching that, I thought yeah, those are the changes I need to make - stop trying to be like other authors and just be me. Then I picked up Neverwhere (my boyfriend saw it and remembered me going on and on about this Mr. Gaiman who had so inspired me, so he bought it for me - poor boyfriend ends up buying a lot of books, bless his heart) and just, you know that feeling when you’re reading exactly the right book at exactly the right time? It was that. It made me feel hopeful again and reminded me that there is magic in the world - we just can’t always see it.

Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley - Probably the only thing I’ll put on here that isn’t fantasy but hey ho. This book is another one that I read exactly when I needed it, actually only a couple of months ago for Pride. I’d been feeling really insecure in my sexuality and then I saw that this was a f/f romance with the main character/POV character being a bi girl… and I knew I needed it. I felt so validated and recognised and most apologised and most importantly not alone in how I felt after reading this. And that is why I will scream from the rooftops about how important representation is, all the damn time.

The View From The Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman - Oops I lied this one isn’t fantasy either, its a collection of essays (how many times can I put Neil Gaiman on this list? As many as I want!). Reading this book was incredible. It’s a compilation of reviews and essays and thoughts and it’s just fantastic, honestly. It reminded me of so much of why I love fantasy and sci-fi, it reminded me of the things i am aiming for in life and with my writing. But more than that, it gave me access to more incredible things. Now I know that no matter how I’m feeling, if I need something new I can go back to that book and there will be a book, or some obscure fantasy novel, or a song, or a band, or a comic book or a  museum or even a painting that someone felt was important enough to share. And I can read or listen to or visit these places, and capture some essence of that feeling, in my own personal way (seriously if you feel like art is an important part of being human, read The View From The Cheap Seats. Actually read it even if you don’t, it might change your mind).

I’m going to stop at four because I can’t think of a fifth and honestly, I don’t want to put any books on here that didn’t speak to me in this way - I probably just haven’t lived long enough to come across another one yet. But some close contenders are the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett, It by Stephen King, and The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.