#don’t take this too seriously it’s just a vent post

[djungleskogs]

im kinda jealous of how involved american colleges are. like your professors actually take a personal interest in you? my tutors all barely remember peoples names and most of them don’t even try. you have mandatory classes? i went to 1 class out of 13 for one of my units this semester because i couldn’t make myself go. you are failing or need extra credits? the professor can choose to give you some. maybe it’s just my uni but they do NOT give extra credit no matter what. we don’t even get supplementary assessments so if you do badly you’re just fucked. extensions go through the uni itself and not the teaching staff. you have multiple classes per subject a week? ok maybe not all colleges but i feel like if i had more than one to go to i would show up more and would also get to actually know the people in my degree. i am four years into this and i have like. 2 friends who study law and we aren’t even in the same stage of the degree. one of my old unit coordinators was american and she had such a culture shock coming to my uni because of how detached it is. she tried to structure the unit in a way that encouraged students to actually show up to class and get to know people in the classes and she had to change it because it went against uni policy.

[bitterrobin]

Imagine this:

You are hated.

You are ten years old and you are hated. Your father existed in your life for only a day, and he doesn’t like you. He can’t understand you. The anger in his voice echoes. You are to obey him. A teenager you just met scoffs at your presence. You feel he looks down on you. You need to prove them wrong.

You try.

They hate you.

Your grandfather sees you as a tool. He loves you, but you are also just a connection to your parents. His expectations weigh heavy. Your mother loves you. But you know this isn’t the life she wanted. The life she deserves. She loves you, but to stay by your side is a shackle.

You see the teenager again. He assumes the worst immediately. You cannot be trusted. You meet a man who calls that teen his brother. He does not like you. He may not say anything, but you can feel the bewilderment, the annoyance. You are a side character, an obstacle to work around.

Still. Still. You want to try again. Your father is here. He is a fighter. You can fight too. You can be better, even. But he leaves you behind. He already has sons who can be better. Your mother tried to warn you.

So you go to your father’s city. America. Gotham. It is familiar in its oppression and yet alien in its hostility, its rules.

You have cut ties with your grandfather. Abandoned your mother. You can’t be alone.

You discover your father is dead. The connection can’t be made. You have lost your family. The brotherly man is there again. He takes you in. But nothing is easy.

Nothing can ever be easy. No one can be kind to you. They never have. You can’t be weak. They will rip you apart. So you persevere. You have to hurt them before they hurt you. Abandon them before they abandon you. Deride them, see their flaws, before they see yours. You cannot be anything less than perfect.

Fighting back makes things worse. You are a monster.

They call you demon. Feral. A spoiled brat. You cannot be a son. You cannot be a child.

They have the privilege of having your father, and they deny your place. You are fighting for yourself. You must survive on your own.

The man gives you a name. It is an honor, but you can’t help but feel it is also a collar.

You are a bird of prey, yet they scorn you for exacting your purpose. What is an eagle if not a predator? You were born to hunt. You were born to maim.

But you are a Robin now. A songbird. You try to fit the mold. You clip your wings, dull your talons. You learn to sing, not scream.

It’s fine. You are fine here. You hold a name that must be cherished. A name that demands more expectations.

It’s fine. You are used to this. Your name was once “tamer.” Now you hold many more names. They watch you. They evaluate you.

You can be hurt, you are strong. You can be shot, you are strong. You can be killed, many ways, but you are strong. They will appreciate you this way. They will praise you. One day. They will love you one day.

You will no longer be hated until you are more than perfect. One day, they will see you as you.

[red-enby]

why must i CONSTANLY go through shitty little times where i absolutely hate everything i do, i want to delete my tumblr acc and disappear off the internet bc i feel like im never going to get anywhere with anything i like to do bc there are so many other people who are way better than me and it wouldn’t matter if i stopped posting all together bc it’s not like i’ve made any actual friends bc it feels like half the time anyone says anything to me it’s just them being a dick to me for no reason and it’s so much worse trying to be in a fandom cause half the time i don’t even feel apart of any fandom, i just feel like i’m on the outside watching everyone else have fun and make friends so fucking easily and oh “why don’t you just talk to people”, i would rather stick a fork up my ass then do that bc i feel like i just bother people at all times and it’s takes why too long for me to become comfortable with actually talking to someone first and yes it’s the bane of my existence. im simply fucking tired.

[pawjamas]

i’m becoming a man hating lesbian as we speak they are so real for that one… i’m still sticking to sapphic as what describes me but goddamn i’m sick of cis men sometimes For real.

[emsleyanbluejay]

“uk politics” “i hate terf island” “fuck rishi sunak/margaret thatcher”

i’m usamerican. i know it was vague, but fuck.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

People online will really be like “you! Individual who cares about this subject and said maybe it would be good, even just an off handed comment, explain it in depth immediately even though you have no real training or experience in debates and even if you point me to someone who you know is better at doing so and articulating the points relevant to what you were saying or suggesting, I won’t check them out even if I wouldn’t have to leave the website we are currently on, because I want YOU and ONLY YOU to explain what this topic represents and respond to my bad faith arguments that have been addressed by people better at it than you hundreds or thousands of time and I can easily look at one of them, especially whoever you suggested could explain it better than you. If you can’t defeat every bad faith argument I make in an attempt to completely discredit both you and the thing you care about then obviously everything about it is wrong and I don’t need to think about it at all ever outside of making you look bad and “winning” this impromptu argument that has been seen and addressed before. Also you weren’t trying to explain the point yourself, you just mentioned it and maybe said it might be good. I win, no one should take that idea seriously, and you’re a bad person.”

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 6 🕺🏼

🤌🏻 luz-camara-y-accion Follow

So my dad left before I was born. Apparently the second my mom told him she was pregnant with me, he just ran off.

Anyway to this day I am wondering… what if he’s still out there? What if he found another woman and had another child?

What I am saying is that, imagine if I suddenly bump into someone who almost looks like me, is also from Italy and then turns out to be my half-sibling or something.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Would be so wild lol

That reminds me, when I was smaller I randomly got the feeling I had an older brother or something. But I feel like it was just an ”only child wishing they had siblings” thing.

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I always have such weird dreams. I need to write them down more.

🏍️ entre-dos-mundos Follow

Did you dream about me? 😉

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

You wish 😉

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hey! This website has guidelines and you’re breaking them!

I’m giving you a warning before reporting you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

And I’m giving you another warning before I block you, weirdo who reblogs my posts

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

You can’t! I have not found it, but I am sure there is a rule to not block people without reason. Blocking someone without reason is against the law!

12 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hello. There is something weird with Tumblr. I am trying to click on some blogs and it says they are ”ghost blogs” or that they ”do not exist”. But they clearly do exist! Is something wrong with the system?

🙍🏻‍♂️ my-name-is-tomas Follow

I’m having the same issue 😢

2 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Did anyone elses’ guardian give them ”the talk” by using flower metaphors? I’m trying to figure out how (not) normal my childhood was, and if anyone else can never see daisys the same way ever again.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Mine did not give me any. Rather she just expected me to know. I got to learn by reading and hearing girls talk in school.

Also when I got my period and told her, she sighed and scolded me for being so ”late” 🤨 (I was 13 how is that late)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Haha. Uh.

So I got the talk when I was 12. Age I got my period? 11.

Did not know what it was. Thought I did something wrong. Refused to tell her because ”she would never understand and probably scold me for not being careful” or something.

She found out on her own, probably because she noticed a stain somewhere, and I was almost crying, begging her to not be mad and she was like ”😐 I knew this would happen, so I don’t see a reason to be mad. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon 😐”. She then gave me pads and told me to use them whenever this happened. She also gave me a small smile and stroked my hair slowly. Then she said ”I should have known you were an early bloomer… 🙂”

I had no idea what that meant until a YEAR later when when she finally gave me the talk. And then it was all in metaphors of flowers.

#what was up with her and flowers seriously

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Most delusional crushes you’ve had?

I’ll start: Someone on the internet who wrote nice posts and who I was so obsessed with meeting, to the point where I ran around trying to search for her whenever I heard she was nearby.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Omg same

📸 felicityfornow Follow

… you’re welcome?

15 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

People tell me so many dirty jokes that at this point I’m assuming that everything is a dirty joke when it not even is.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

I’m sorry, I feel like this is my fault…

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Was that a dirty joke?

#seriously I need to know #I can’t keep track of what is and what isn’t

40 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Hey! I have a brand new fic I posted today!

Check it out! 💫

Posting every saturday🪐

2 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

It's so fun how easy I could find my friends here 😂 Half of them didn't even have to say they had tumblr, I found them anyway.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wish I could say the same, but people refuse to tell me and I can't seem to figure it out.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Strawberry boy when he can't figure out who runs the tumblr blog even with clear signs of who it might be:

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Hey! Only Luna can call me that!

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

If I'm the only one allowed, why did you name your blog that?

9 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

So like. I dream about the future and stuff.

I dreamed that I was pregnant.

And like. That may happen at some point. In the future. But my dreams that predict the future are often stuff that happens basically the next day.

Not that it… would make sense for me to be pregnant right now…

Or, well…

…

I’m buying a test.

#vilu gets real #SO glad my dad is not on Tumblr he would freak if he saw this

1 note

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I usually joke about myself being the most distracted person in the world, but at times it feels like everyone looks down on me for it. I know that is not the case, but sometimes I feel like it.

Because I am like that, I easily forget stuff, and having to have people remind me, it sometimes feels like people don’t take me as seriously? Like they see me more as a child than someone their age. I mean, sometimes I feel like my friends act like I am their baby sister just tagging along and ”not knowing as much”. And I know they don’t actually see me like that. I know that’s just how I feel. But… ugh. I wish I could concentrate more on things, I wish I could not forget stuff so easily. I wish I could keep my mind focused on what people want me to focus on, and yet my brain does not let me.

I wish I didn’t feel like I somehow missed a manual on how you’re supposed to act in life. Why does everyone know how to behave in social situations except for me?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Hey Luna? I know you tagged this with ”may delete later” and all that, but I need to assure you, yes, that is only in your head about us seeing you as ”someone younger who does not know as much”. We do not see you like that!

In all honestly… we’re all on the same page when it comes to ”maturity” I would say. Trust me when I say, I can be very distracted too. You just have not seen it yet, but trust me.

I guess I can sort of relate to ”not knowing how to act in social situations”, but I guess when there’s more of us, we act in our own way that we then percieve as ”normal” but then we meet someone else who never would act that way.

Anyway, we love you Luna, and you’re not alone with thoughts like this 💜

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Luna I need you to know, if you ever feel ”childish”, just know I am way more childish than you.

Seriously, I’ve been in situations where I go out of them feeling like I acted like a toddler and everyone else was so mature and cool in comparison.

You should just KNOW about all the antics I’ve had that you haven’t witnessed. If there is someone who does not know how to act in social situations it’s me.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Luna sometimes I’ve felt like I am younger than YOU. Seriously. I don’t know how anyone has ever seen me as mature 🤣

And I may joke that you’re distracted, but I never look down on you for it 🩵 Because you’re also at the same time very focused on what you want, when you get an idea there is no stopping you! And I admire that so much about you 💖

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh my gosh, guys… I really was about to go delete my vent post because I made it under such a spontaneous rush and then it felt weird to just write all of that.

But I feel really happy by your messages, and that I am not alone 😅 💕💕

I still wish I wasn’t distracted in the way I am, though.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

HELP, it’s so wild finding this post now like 4 years later?

I’m happy I never feel that insecure about why I can be so distracted and all over the place anymore. Because I did look into it and I did get an explanation 👏🏼 And honestly I really should have done that earlier because 😅😅 there was some CLEAR signs.

But it did feel validating hearing people had similar thoughts as me, especially about feeling like you’re more ”childish” than what society expects you to be.

60 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

People are asking why my ”childhood rival” is my childhood rival and if we are still rivals:

Basically I was born 2 days before her and, while I of course do not remember this, I have been told we met the first time in the hospital when I came for my 48 hour checkup. I really imagine newborn me seeing her screaming her lungs out after just being born and thinking ”what a drama queen”.

Idk, we just provoked each other by existing. There is a picture of us on a playdate when we were around 9 months old, and I chew on her arm. I guess the adults thought this was cute and that we played, but I am sure that I was attacking her.

From the memories I do have, we have had epic fights like on the christmas party where we caused a mayhem, we fell down from a tree together during a wrestle game, we poked and teased each other so much at school that an assigned teacher had to be a guard at recess so that we would not interact… and then there was all the things that happened when we were teens…

Is she still my rival? Yeah. But I guess it’s ”playful teasing” now more than actively hating her.

If I hated her, I’d ignore her. And we have never been able to ignore each other.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Shut up you nut 💜

[catcake24]

Tumblr has some of the most paranoid people I’ve ever seen, even including other social medias. There always seems to be this fear of tumblr changing at all ever, even though this website needs money to keep going, and that every other social media is always ghoulish and some indication of how society is going downhill.

I’m not even saying everything some anxious people say isn’t without merit or that I really blame them, but it’s kind of seeped into a Tumblr culture as an undercurrent from what I’ve seen.

TikTok isn’t just an annoying app with some worrying stuff going on, it’s a social plague that spreads misinformation and that makes people miserable (even though most of the videos on here are from TikTok creators, meaning that at least it isn’t an inherently bad concept in my opinion); words changing their meanings over time isn’t normal, it’s a sign of propaganda and we should police ourselves over it to make sure we don’t fall for it; everyone in the world is out to get us and there is nothing we can do about it.

It makes this weird website a bit suffocating sometimes, especially since Tumblr is a very internal/clicky community compared to most social media’s - which isn’t a bad thing all the time but it does mean this paranoia and fear passes much quicker through this site just in general.

I’m just musing on thoughts, maybe I just follow a lot of paranoid people and popular tags just get that way sometimes idk

[konpeitonom]

Pookie I'm BEGGING YOU for a curly x fem reader smut but like he has a rough day and reader asks her to take it out on her so he's like rougher with her than usual 🤭🤭 then there's some nice fluffy aftercare afterwards. As usual take ur time and take breaks!

-🌺 anon

a long day of work, captain grant curly.

nsfw — lowercase intended ^_^

fem reader — content warnings for light choking, degrading.. he’s a bit mean. some creative liberty was taken..

requests are open and heavily encouraged, i write for every mw character ^.^

notes; i don’t like to write full length one shots n such and don’t plan too.. just not my style. so i’ll write this in sort of a headcanon-ny / drabble formatting. just a quick heads up for anyone who requests me! i also.. forgot the fluffy aftercare part.. perhaps another time, or a little pt2 if i feel so inclined..

but this might have been my favorite to write for today. this is my 6th piece for the day (posting in the morning..) thank you for ur request anon..

nsfw under the cut! minors do not read

— curly after a long, tiring day of work, all he wanted was to see your pretty face. it always made him feel better. everytime he opens that door, he’ll hear, “welcome home!!”, “you were working for so long, can’t you cut back your hours?”, “i missed you so much. quit that stupid job, please?” .. you get the point.

— he seems extra tired today. even after dinner, a nice bath, some tv, he still looks so stressed! you have to do something. isn’t there anything you can do?

— eventually he ends up venting about work, how stressed he is. he doesn’t like to but he knows you don’t mind. one thing led to another and he was on top of you.

- ♡

“curly.. you know, you don’t have to hold back as much as you do..” you say, your hands on his arms. your fingertips trace his muscles just slightly, as a way to ease him into the idea.

he groans at that thought. god, he really needs to let it all go. but he can’t do that. he really can’t, “what are you talking about?” he said, playing dumb. but you were able to see through him, of course you were.

“curly..”

“no, i can’t.”

“please.. you can take it all out on me. please? i want it. i really do. don’t you want it too?” you respond so desperately.

- ♡

— you knew your husband well. he’d only do it to make you happy. and if that was it? then he can’t say no.

— he’s a bit soft at first. he’s still holding back. just be patient with him, it’ll take awhile for him to get a bit rough the way he does.

— one of his hands holds tightly onto the bed frame, the other on your shoulder keeping you down. his pace is regular but his thrusts are much rougher, you can feel his dick bruising your insides.

— please be vocal.. it tells him you’re enjoying it too. even all pent up and stressed, he’s prioritizing you’re pleasure. even like this, he’ll make sure you cum first.

- ♡

your mouth is wide open, the prettiest noises coming out of it. he looks down at you, his eyes a bit squinted as he places a hand on your neck. you nod gently as to reassure him it was okay, and that’s when he pressed down.

he lets out a low groan, “fuck, do you like that? seriously?” he teased, his tone mean. you didn’t expect that from him, but it was more than welcome.

“god, should’ve told me sooner.” he said, as he pushed down just a bit- pushing the boundaries of what was you’re regular, “look at you. you’re such a mess. i wish you could see your face right now, it’s fucking pathetic.”

- ♡

— you can tell he feels bad, but small reassurances fuel him. so just nod and smile and he’ll continue.

— at this point his pace quickens and he’s rough with it. his hand that isn’t wrapped around your neck like a vice, is on your hips- digging deep into your skin.

— he’d then turn you over to your tummy, making you go on all fours as he pulls your hair back. kind of like a leash. his dick balls deep into your pussy still.

— god, he was so rough. it hurt, you can’t lie. but it felt so good, so good to know that the sensitive man you married has a side to him that only you have the pleasure of feeling.

— “fuck. seems like you enjoy being used like this. yeah? like a fucking toy? why didn’t you say so before then?” he’d whisper into your ear.

— he cums at the sight of your eyes rolled back to make eye contact with him, your tongue a bit out as you moan uncontrollably. maybe it was also the teardrops that stained your face. you looked pitiful, really.

— “are you okay?” he’d whisper in your ear. he felt bad for cumming first. but he couldn’t help it. he could only hope you wouldn’t be too upset.

— that’s when he’d turn you over to your back to see your face much more clearly. if you tell him now that you need a break, he’s happy to do so- then please you. no harsh words, just love.

— but if you nod, tell him it’s okay- and that you want to continue. you’re in for a long night, because at that slight nod he’s already shoved his dick back in you. he’s desperate, and you’re willing to give it to him.

[revelboo]

would you ever think about writing something with the elite trine/starscream, thundercracker, and skywarp x a human reader ...... perchance .......... i am a hungry little peasant child, digging for scraps of poly trine x reader on the side of the road which is called tumblr .......... [TAKE UR TIME . OR DONT DO THE REQUEST ITS OKAY SERIOUSLY !!!!!!!!! GENUINELY YOURE SUCH A GOOD WRITER AND ITS SO INSANE THAT THE STARSCREAM X READER HCS HAS 33 POSTS ...... SINGLE HANDEDLY FEEDING US STARSCREAM LOVERS]

All I heard was reverse harem Seeker smut 🌶️ 18+ no plot here. Mass displaced mechs

Trine x Reader- sharing (stand-alone)

• Big servos flex against your hips and pull you back against a warm frame. It’s the feel of denta gripping your shoulder hard enough to bruise that gives away that it’s Skywarp. Little stinging nips along the curve of your neck that are intended just to make his brothers angry. Marking you. One of his big hands slides up to curl around your throat, the other down your front.

• Biting again as he cups your slick flesh, you make that little breathy sound of need that drives him crazy. Hips rocking against his hand in invitation and he’s generous today, not teasing. Pressing a servo into you and stroking until you’re moving against him to ride his palm. So needy. “You started already?” Growling as he looks over at Thundercracker, he nips that soft skin again, ignoring the question. He’d never shared anything very well. Star can be as angry as he likes after he’s finished with you. Withdrawing that slick servo earns him a little noise of protest, but as he urges you down, bending you over, you submit willingly. Needing this as much as he does. Wings lifting stiffly as he tries to ignore Thundercracker watching, he buries his spike in your wet heat.

• Groaning as he drives deep, you feel his servos tighten on your hips and then he’s rutting against you. Rough and fast, almost too much. And he’s growling in your ear, a rumbling stream of Cybertronian you can’t understand as he claims you, his bigger body caging yours. What’s it say about you that you don’t mind being shared by them? That your body responds the same way to all three Seekers. Hunger and heat. Skywarp shifts against you, thrusts becoming more urgent to send heat coiling through you. Impatient, hard strokes and then his rhythm falters and he bites again, hard enough to break the skin. The sharp sting tangling with the pleasure to drive you over the edge as he buries himself deep to release.

• Thundercracker watches Skywarp drag his glossa against your shoulder, his red optics bright as he slides out, a hand stroking affectionately down your spine. “Such a good pet,” Skywarp chuckles, teasing. Thundercracker knows he needs to wait for Starscream, that he’s going to be mad enough, but as you roll onto your back, thighs parted and slick, he’s moving without thinking. Dragging you to the edge so your legs hang over and burying his spike inside you. Curling himself over you, he rolls his hips and slides a hand under the back of your head. Lifting you enough he can reach and explore your mouth as he lazily rocks himself inside you. Taking his time to tease you both.

• For being the most affectionate of the three, Thundercracker’s mouth is pure sin. That glossa of his stealing inside, turning that warm kiss into something urgent and wholly at odds with the slow stroke of that big spike buried inside you. If Skywarp has no control, Thundercracker has too much. Your body heating again, needing more and being denied. Hooking your legs around his waist to buck your own hips against him, chasing that high he’s denying you.

• “Again?” Starscream vents as he lets himself inside and scowls. Skywarp laughs from where he’s sprawled, servos curled lazily about his own spike watching Thundercracker and their human. As annoyed as he is with them, he’s not too surprised. It’s so easy to rile you up. Always so eager and needy. Able to keep up with their needs. Thundercracker growls, hips moving faster, the wet sound of their bodies meeting mingling with the little noises of their human lost in passion. Your head thrown back, thighs trembling as Thundercracker bucks into you, his wings shuddering with his own release.

• Your body is still humming pleasantly as Thundercracker pulls away with one last kiss against the corner of your mouth. Head back and heart racing, you tremble as servos curl around your knee. Starscream, his expression calculating as he takes in your sweat slick skin and the mess his brothers have made. His expression growing tight before it passes. The complaint doesn’t come as he vents and buries himself inside you, that familiar spike stretching you. Bowed over you, thrusting deep his optics hold your eyes. And somehow your tired body responds for him, winding up again. Needing this. Him.

• Eyes dark with passion stare up at him as he takes you. Sometimes he regrets agreeing to share you. Wishes he’d kept you to himself, but he doesn’t regret how sharing you has mended the strain between them. You’re his. Always will be, but theirs too. Rutting against you, feeling your soft hands on him, he knows this is right. A trine united over something precious that they need to protect at all costs. Wings trembling as he pounds into your wet heat, he chases after as you arch under him, moaning his name as you milk his spike. Shattering.

[biting-miguel-ohara]

Holiday Blues - Wade Wilson x bunny mutant!Reader x Logan Howlett

A/N: *deep breath in; deep breath out* there are so many things about this fic that I despise. I want to put so many disclaimers about bad writing or sloppy endings or heavy angst. But I said I’d post it if there was interest so here we are. However, THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK!!! I really just wrote it as a way to channel my anxiety, so if it’s shitty or just bad I won’t be surprised

No taglist for this one

Reader is vaguely implied to be ftm trans during one paragraph of the fic. But it also can be read as a cis male!Reader too

There are a lot of internalized feelings in this, some toxic masculinity, and other uncomfy things. Please read all the warnings and take them seriously before reading

Also, very important. While it’s never directly stated in the fic, I wrote this Reader based off my experiences with RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). However, there’s a lot more going on with me than just that, so I do have to say this is only indicative of my experiences, not experiences with this as a whole. Other things may have crept in as well, simply by the nature of basing this off of me

CW: Reader is dating both Logan and Wade; Reader loves the holidays; Reader comes from a family with holiday traditions; Logan comes off as a bit rude, but it’s for reasons I don’t elaborate on; Reader is a bunny mutant; Reader is sensitive to rejection; Reader spirals fast in this; angst; anxiety; panic; hiding; Reader is hit with a lot of emotions all at once; negative thought spirals; internalized emotions; toxic masculinity moments; crying; humiliation; shame; guilt; Reader’s family is mentioned as a guilt trip; comfort seeking; more shame; there’s lots of shame in this one; prey instincts contributing to the negativity; hugging; comfort; problems are not addressed; Reader bounces back fast; Wade gets Reader’s brain; Wade has implied mental health issues as well; soft moments; quick ending; mild allusions to sexy things; god this reads so bad; okay, here are my disclaimers: bad writing, vent writing, fast-paced writing, sudden ending, and highly-charged emotional states from the Reader

1641 words

It’s no secret among your boyfriends that you love the holidays. Any chance you can get you’re constantly hanging up decorations, planning parties, and preparing food,

It’s some of the few times a year you truly come alive when doing something. It’s your time of the year. Holidays have always been your thing.

It’s tradition, from growing up in your burrow. Everyone would help out, making the holidays a time of family fun and chaos and celebration.

So when you come home to Wade decorating your apartment, you immediately want to help. You’ve barely taken off your sweater before you’re bouncing up to him. “What can I do?”

He gives you a grin, gesturing to the kitchen. “Ask Wolvie. He’s been baking all day.”

It both excites and confuses you. You’re not hosting any parties or going to an event today. So what’s going on?

Still, you head into the kitchen. Logan’s working on a pie, carefully making a beautiful lattice of crust on top.

You place a kiss on his cheek. “Can I help?”

“Ask Wade.”

His answer is short. Quick. To the point. Almost brusque even. You know he’s just concentrating, but it still makes you falter. “Um… alright.”

You head back to Wade, but he just gives you a shrug. “Sorry, handsome, but I think we got it.”

You stand there for a moment before nodding and heading into the bedroom.

You sit on the bed, staring at your hands. Normally, you’d just brush off their responses and find something else to do. But it’s the holidays. You’re supposed to be out there helping.

Their rejection of your help hurts more than you care to admit.

But it’s stupid. It’s just decorations and food. They’ve got it all covered.

You try to tell yourself that, but the hurt still wells up in your chest. You can feel it rising, making your breathing quicken. You grip one of your bunny ears, stroking it in an attempt to calm yourself down. It’s what Wade always does.

Maybe you did something to offend them? Or maybe they were trying to surprise you and you ruined it by coming home early?

You try to think of anything and everything as a reason for their dismissals. It has to be something. It has to be.

Anxiety spikes in your chest and you burrow under the covers. It feels comforting, like you’re back in your home warren for a moment. You curl into a ball, tucking your knees to your chest.

You count your breaths, struggling to slow the beat of your heart. But it’s no real use. The wave of emotions is already here. It crashes into you, drowning you in reasons why and what you did wrong. Over and over, your thoughts spiral.

Your eyes prickle, but you refuse to cry. The only thing worse than feeling like this is having Wade and Logan think you’re dumb for it. You’re a man. You can handle it.

You press your palms to your eyes, but the wetness still seeps out. You can handle it. You can handle it. You can handle it.

You don’t sob. Thankfully. You just cry in silence. Stuttered breaths in and out. In and out. It feels humiliating. You, crying while your boyfriends decorate.

You should be better than this. You should be better than this now. What would your family think if they saw you crying instead of celebrating?

That thought only adds to the shame in your chest and you scrunch up even tighter. You’re not some dumb flopsy bunny anymore. You’re a rabbit. A man. Crying is for flopsy bunnies.

The thoughts continue. Eventually, your silent crying turns to soft hiccups. Your tears dry up, leaving your eyes puffy and itchy.

You don’t get up until you hear the timer ringing in the kitchen. Logan’s pie is done. You can smell it. Apple. Your favorite.

Slowly, you uncurl yourself. You crawl out from beneath the blankets. You change into a pair of boxers and one of Wade’s sweaters. Your comfort outfit. You know it’ll be a tell that something’s wrong, but you need the safety of the fabric.

You open the door to the bedroom and shuffle out. No Wade. You hear him in the kitchen.

You take a moment to use the bathroom. To stare dully at your reflection in the mirror and splash water on your face to try and reduce the puffiness. It… sort of works.

Wade’s knock on the door has you startling. “Oh, bunny boy! Dinner’s ready!”

You flinch, curling into yourself a little. They’re gonna know you were crying. They’re gonna know you were upset over something so stupid. They’re gonna think you’re dumb.

You’re shaking as you open the door. You know it’s your prey instincts. Programmed to carry you away, to keep you safe from any harm. But that doesn’t make it feel any better.

Wade blinks at you as you emerge. His whole body seems to soften. “Hey… What’s wrong?”

He’s always so soft with you whenever you’re upset. Occasionally silly, but so soft. Sometimes you love it. Right now it just makes the pit of guilt in your chest bigger.

“Nothing…” you mumble.

He frowns, but pulls you into a hug. It helps. It loosens the ball of shame, slowly soothing it apart. You take a deep breath and hug him back.

“Everything alright?” Logan, from the kitchen doorway.

You think Wade gives him a look, or maybe he just picks up on the clothes you’re wearing. Either way, you’re enfolded in another set of arms.

“Hey, bunny. What’s wrong?” Logan’s often gentle too. It helps you relax the last bit of the way, the knot in your chest finally unraveling.

“Just… my brain…” You’re now more embarrassed than anything. Why would they think you’re dumb? They’ve always been understanding and loving, especially with you.

Wade strokes one of your bunny ears, the action immediately calming your frayed emotions. Bringing back your peace of mind. “Being a bully again, huh?”

You nod.

Logan rubs your back, his touch gentler than normal. “Was it something we said?”

Damn his perceptiveness. You were hoping to get out of this without an explanation.

You sigh and rest your forehead on Wade’s shoulder. “I just… I wanna help too…”

There’s a moment of silence, then Wade hums. “You can wrap the gift I got Wolvie. It was supposed to be a surprise, but it’s the last thing to do.”

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly your entire self perks up at the idea. You grin, already straightening up. “You mean it? I can help?”

Logan chuckles while Wade matches your grin. “Absolutely, handsome! But first…”

He takes your hands and gives them a squeeze. “Let’s eat. You’ll feel much better once you have food in you. The surprise can wait for later.”

Logan agrees and you give in quickly.

Dinner goes by fast and soon you’re in the bedroom again, this time with a box and gift wrap in your hands. You focus on wrapping the present as Wade sits on the bed. Logan’s busy with food clean up, bustling away in the kitchen.

“We'll always love you,” Wade says, startling you from your task. You look up at him. “What?”

“Whatever your brain says while you’re upset. It’s not true.” He looks at you intently. “We love you.”

You swallow and look down. With anyone else, you’d protest. But you know him. You know him. He’s speaking more than just to comfort you right now.

“I love you too,” you say quietly. “Even on your bad days, I love you too.”

His shoulders relax but his gaze stays on you. He doesn’t say anything more though. He just watches you. It’s a little intimidating, but you let him.

You finish wrapping the box and place a nice big bow on the top. “Done.”

Wade smiles. His expression soft once more. It relieves a burden off your shoulders in some way. Some lingering guilt or whatever weighing you down.

You love him. He loves you. He doesn’t have to say it for you to know he gets your mind almost as well as you do. He struggles with his brain too.

You hold out the box to him, a silent acknowledgment of each other in the air. He takes it, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “You’re adorable in my sweater, you know that?”

It pulls a laugh out of you, lightening the air. “Yeah. I know. Why do you think I wear it all the time?”

He smiles. “Careful, buns. You know how your sassiness gets me going.”

You roll your eyes and grin. “Yeah, yeah.”

You eye the wrapped box in his hands, a spark of curiosity in your mind. “What’s in there anyway? And what’re we celebrating in the first place?”

Wade smirks. “We’re celebrating us. And this?” He shakes the box a little. “This is for later. Consider it my gift to you and Wolvie.”

Celebrating us. The idea warms you like nothing else. Nothing else seems to matter except that. They planned a small thing just to celebrate you and them.

You lean in and kiss Wade. “Thank you. For all of it.”

He softens despite himself, his smile turning warm. “Hey, don’t thank me yet. Wolvie still hasn’t opened his gift yet. Thank me then.”

But he seems to understand. For a moment. Before he smacks your ass lightly and points towards the kitchen. “Let’s go, buns. The Readers and Wolvie can’t wait for the ending forever.”

You blink, but don’t question his words. He’ll explain eventually. For now, you’re just ready to enjoy some pie and find out what’s in Wade’s gift.

After all, knowing him, it’s probably something raunchy. And you could do with something a little stronger than cuddles.

[lockheed-martin-unofficial]

Starscream is given a bath, Part 4:

Bet y’all thought I was done with this. I’m not done, I was just stuck on this part for a really long time. It wasn’t going the way I wanted it to, but then again, I always have doubts when it comes to Starscream’s characterization.

Anyway, it ended up being pretty long. 1298 words. I’m not all too satisfied with it, but I gotta just post it and move on.

Part 3: here

Part 5: here

——————————————————————————

“Starscream.”

He opened his optics once more, taking a few seconds to recalibrate. It appeared that he had actually fallen into a recharge without noticing. He looked down at himself, seeing that his arms and chest were looking…shinier than usual. He flexed his digits, touching the tip of every talon to his thumb. She’d done a good job, for a human. Collecting himself but still feeling a little drowsy, Starscream looked down at her.

“Yes? What is it?”

“I need to clean your vents.”

He bristled at that statement, his expression quickly turning sour. “You don’t need to do that.” He waved a servo, wings flattening behind his back.

“Come on, would you rather be breathing dirty air for the rest of your life?”

“My cooling system cleans itself.” He huffed. “I thought you knew that by now.”

“Your air filtration and internal components do. The vents don’t. They’re external.” Damnit, why did she have to know so much about cybertronian biology? The human reached up, her hands grabbing onto the vents on both sides of his face and tugging on them. He grumbled at that, still wanting to avoid this wretched fate. Nevertheless, he allowed her to pull him down. He knew by now that arguing would be pointless.

“I won’t get any water in, I’m just gonna run a towel over them.” She let go of him, stepping out of the bathtub. She quietly walked to a cabinet, opening it and grabbing a soft little towel. The human ran some warm water over it, before squeezing out the excess and returning to him.

“Lean on the side of the tub, please?”

He didn’t say anything, but did as told. His wings were hanging low, as flat as they possibly could be. Seriously? Did he hate vent cleaning that much?

“This won’t hurt a bit, I promise.”

He only grumbled in response.

The human brought the towel up to him, first rubbing it over his faceplate to wipe off anything that wasn’t cleaned by the initial run of water. She cleaned him with the soft cloth using one hand, the other holding onto the side of his vent intake to keep him still. Starscream had shut his optics as tightly as possible, not moving an inch during this part of the cleanup.

“That’s nice, isn’t it?” She asked, her voice gentle as if talking to a child. “Doesn’t that warmth feel so soothing, Starscream?”

“Don’t patronize me.” He replied, his voice muffled from the towel she kept rubbing on his face. The human just chuckled at the sight.

“Now if you just tilt your head back, I can move on to the vents.”

He did as instructed, but she could easily see how tense he was. Starscream’s servos gripped the sides of the bathtub, holding himself still. She tilted his chin up ever so slightly, noting that the seeker still refused to open his optics. Slowly and being as gentle as possible, she pressed the towel into his vents, using her fingers to assist in cleaning any grime off the grilles. The process went smoothly for the most part, Starscream obviously uncomfortable but managing to keep himself still. All the way until-

He yelled and kicked up the water when she touched a bad spot, his servos finding and gripping her wrists as he pulled her away from himself.

“That’s enough touching, thank you very much.” Starscream scrambled away to the other corner of the tub, a flash of irritation on his faceplate and a defensiveness to his mannerisms.

“Hang on, I think I saw something in there.”

The seeker wrapped his arms around his frame, pulling his knees all the way up to his chest. The human let out a soft sigh, sitting on the side of the tub and trying to sound as gentle as possible.

“Do you want me to get it?”

He met her gaze and the look on his faceplate momentarily shifted as though she’d just offered to rip his spark out. Then, his expression changed again to one of contemplation. He knew this was going to hurt. But he also knew that he was going to feel much worse over the long run if she didn’t get it out. Could she really, though? Get it out?

Starscream could tolerate pain, best to just get it over with. Better her than asking the Autobots for help. Fine, he’d trust her to get it out.

“Fine. Just… be quick about it?” He asked, a hint of vulnerability creeping into his voice.

The human nodded, and Starscream shuffled back to his previous spot, unusually timid. He was partially acting, pretending to be more scared than he actually was with the hope that it’d earn him a gentler touch.

“Try not to make any sudden moves, alright? I won’t lose a finger if you flinch, not there, but please… be mindful of your strength.”

“Right. The usual.” He replied with a tiny chuckle and a subtle crack of his voice.

Evidently, it had worked. She held his faceplate between her hands, positioning it just right so she could see inside the grilles- which he had feathered to a 90-degree angle for better access.

“Thank you.”

She leaned forward, peering inside. Once she had a good look at the piece of debris, she spoke up.

“Okay, I’m gonna start now. Don’t panic.”

Starscream didn’t resist, just kept his optics shut hoping that this would all be done soon. Carefully, the human reached her fingers inside- this felt weird. This felt so weird. Cooling vents were not supposed to have anything solid entering them. Not so deep. Even though he knew the human’s hand was there to help him, that she was not a threat, he had to clench his servos in order to ignore every coded instinct telling him to keep his vents clear, to remove the obstruction that was her hand immediately.

He was so focused on keeping still that he didn’t even realised she was done until his temperature regulation system suddenly stopped yelling at him. Hesitantly opening his optics once more, he was met with the sight of the human looking down at him, a shard of metal in her hand covered in dried energon.

The first thing he felt was relief, as he took in a strong intake of air and a slight smile found its way to his faceplate.

That hadn’t hurt all that much.

“See? Got it out. didn’t hurt too much, I hope.”

Seeing as he didn’t reply, she continued.

“But I think it left behind a cut, do you need me t-“

Oh no. He knew exactly what she was going to ask, and he wouldn’t allow it.

“No, no need!” he suddenly cut her off, and grabbed the piece of shrapnel from her hand, examining it. “If this is all that was in there… my frame will be able to repair any leftover damage on its own now.”

He turned his gaze back down to her.

“As helpful as you have been, I’d rather not have you rooting through my internals any longer than you absolutely have to. Especially there.” he explained, an aversion of his optics accompanying that last word. He didn’t want to seem rude, especially after all this human had done.

“Hmm, that’s fair. I guess I see why it’d be uncomfortable if our roles were reversed.”

He was relieved at her understanding. Well, his problem was solved. He should probably thank her for that. Starscream scoffed. He was doing too much thanking today.

“I’m…grateful. For the help.”

She smiled. Huh. There she went again. He could really get used to that.

“Don’t mention it. Must’ve been painful. And besides, it’s not time to thank me yet. We’ve still gotta do your wings.”

[7ndipity]

“Are You Confident?”

fwb!Jungkook x Plus Size Reader

Summary: The one where you get fed up with Jungkook’s teasing and decide to take him up on his offer.

Word Count: just under 1.7k

Warnings: +18 mdni, smut. oral(m. receiving), swearing, Jk starts out fuckboy-ish but turns subby, slight dom reader, reader’s referred to as Noona, not proofread

A/N: This idea has been sitting in my drafts since early December, but I finally managed to finish part one! This is sort of a prequel to this drabble, so if you can read it too if you liked this one. I’ll also be posting part two and a masterlist(hopefully)later this week, so lmk what you think!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

If you had to choose a favorite place in the whole world, you would choose Jungkook’s apartment without a thought. Not your own apartment, not you favorite shop, not even the dream vacation you’d been planning and saving up for forever, just being tucked into the corner of Jungkook’s couch, Bam curled up next to you, his massive head resting in your lap, subtly begging for pets as you vented to his owner about your most recent dating fiasco.

The guy one of your friends had set you up with had seemed nice enough at first, but as dinner progressed, things had progressively gone downhill.

“Did he least pay for dinner?” Jungkook asked, sprawled on the opposite end of the couch.

“I’d assume so, I walked out before the bill even came.” You replied, taking a long drink from your glass.

“Why do you even bother with dating anyway? You said before you hated it.” He asked.

“I’ve told you, I’m… lonely.” You said pointedly, avoiding his eyes.

He squinted at you, understanding suddenly flashing across his face.

“Ah, so you just need to get laid?” He asked, sitting back with a smirk as your face flushed with color. “Why didn’t you just say so? I could help you with that.”

“Ugh, shut up.” You groaned, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

“I’m serious.” He said, following you. “It’s better than fucking some random asshole.”

This type of conversation was a recurring thing in your friendship. Jungkook loved to tease you, and with a relationship that had grown as close as yours had, he had plenty of opportunities.

Your friends often joked that the two of you should just date already with the way you acted with each other, often toeing the line between what was typically considered okay for ‘just friends’. You’d slept in the same bed more times than you could count(a fact that had made Taehyung nearly choke on his drink when he’d found out), you’d even kissed at his friend's New Years Eve party after a few too many drinks and a similar conversation to the one you were currently having, lamenting about not having someone to kiss at midnight.

You didn’t know what had possessed you to do it, all you could remember was hearing the countdown and leaning in, connecting your lips with his for the briefest moment, only for him to quickly chase after yours when you had started to pull away.

Neither of you had brought it up afterwards, but the memory of it was permanently seared into your mind; the feel of his lips moving against yours, the way his hands had gently gripped your waist-

You shook your head, redirecting your attention back to the current moment, trying to ignore Jungkook as he leaned against the counter next to you.

“Look, if you don’t want to, that’s totally fine, I’m just offering a possible solution to your problem,” He said, shrugging as he grinned at you. “You know, if you’re really desperate.”

You scoffed. “You’re one to talk. When's the last time you even went on a date again?”

Your words had the desired effect on him, turning his expression sour.

“That’s different, I’ve been… busy.” He said grudgingly.

“Uh-huh, sure.” You grinned triumphantly.

“I mean it though,” He said. “If that’s really all you’re after, I’d be glad to help.”

You blinked at him in disbelief. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” He shrugged. “I mean, like you said, it’s not like I've got anything going either. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, just two friends helping each other out.”

“That is, if you think you can handle me.” He added with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes, letting out an irritated laugh. “Please, I could handle you.”

“Are you confident?” He asked, quirking a brow at you.

“Yes.” You answered immediately, catching both him and yourself off guard as you stared him down.

Your words weren’t entirely true, you weren’t all that confident when it came to things like this, but Jungkook had a way of triggering your stubborn streak, whether it was with that cocky smile he always threw your way or the domineering tone he like to tease you with, something about him made you suddenly brave and willing to challenge anything he said.

Normally, that was part of what made your friendship fun, the two of you constantly bickering and at odds with each other, but this was much different than arguing over where to get dinner or what to watch on tv.

You were chest to chest now, able to feel his heart pounding surprisingly fast as he stared down at you.

“Prove it.” He said, his tone having lost its teasing edge as his gaze flickered between your eyes and your mouth.

That was all it took to make you break.

You closed the gap between the two of you, pushing him back against the wall as your lips clashed.

This wasn’t at all like the first time you’d kissed, there was no hesitancy or tender playfulness, it was hot and rushed and needy, full of tongue and teeth.

You were aware of a voice in the back of your head frantically screaming at you, something about how this was terrible idea and could ruin things between you and Jungkook completely, but you really couldn’t bring yourself to care as his warm hands found your waist, pulling you flush against him as his tongue fought with yours for dominance. He tasted sharp and sweet like the wine you had brought, his skin hot under your fingertips as your hands slipped from his shoulders to tangle in his hair, tugging lightly at the strands and earning a low grunt from him.

His grip on your hips tightened before sliding down to grope your ass, grinding you against the growing bulge in his pants.

A surprised squeak left you, making him chuckle against your lips as you mentally cursed yourself. You were not about to let him have the upper hand, not this quickly.

You slipped a hand down between you to palm him over his pants, squeezing just enough to cause what sounded very much like a moan to you to release from his throat, though you knew he’d tried to deny it.

Just as suddenly as you’d begun, you pulled away, making his eyes snap open in confusion.

“What are you-?” He panted, stopping in shock as you dropped to your knees in front of him.

“I’m helping you out.” You said simply, undoing his belt as you looked up at him with doe eyes. “Is that okay?”

He nodded, breathing unsteadily.

“I need words, Sweetie.” You said, making him flush at the petname as you fiddled with his zipper. “I can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell me.”

“I want it,” He quickly blurted, giving up control with surprising ease as he stared down at you, eyes black with need. “I-I want your mouth, please.”

“Good boy.” You tugged his jeans down, revealing the prominent tent in his boxers, a small wet patch on the material showing just how eager he was.

“These are cute.” You commented, toying with the waistband before letting it snap back against his skin, making him jump slightly. “Purple looks good on you.”

“Noona, please.” He whined in frustration, his head falling back against the wall as his hips twitched forward involuntarily.

“Fine, since you’re asking so politely.” You pulled his boxers down, letting his cock spring free, hanging heavy in front of your face.

He was slightly bigger than you expected, the tip flushed deep red and leaking precum as you took him in your hand, making him shudder.

“Mm, should’ve known, even your cock’s pretty.” You mused, leaning in to give it a cursory lick, sucking the tip into your mouth for a moment before pulling back, leaving a few kisses along the underside of his length as you glanced up at him to gauge his reaction.

He was staring down at you slack-jawed, his breaths coming out in uneven pants as you pumped him with your hand.

He already looked slightly fucked out and you’d barely done anything to him yet, giving you a massive surge of confidence as you held eye contact with him, gathering as much spit as you could in your mouth before letting it dribble down over his twitching length.

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath, squiming slightly.

Still holding his gaze, you took him fully into your mouth, sinking down as far as you could go.

“Fuck!” He gasped, his head falling back against the wall with a thump as you pulled back, swirling your tongue around him teasingly before sinking down again, letting him hit the back of your throat and holding him there for a moment before pulling off.

You quickly found your rhythm, bobbing your head up and down on him and using your hands on what wouldn’t fit in your mouth.

He let out a low whine, fists clenched so tight against his thighs his knuckles had gone white.

Noticing this, you used your free hand to guide his to your head, letting him tangle his fingers in your hair and giving him something to ground himself with.

All too soon, you felt him beginning to tense, his grip on your head tightening as his thighs started to shake.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum.” He whimpered. “Where do you want me to-?”

You only answer to him taking him and deeper and swallowing around him, making him cry out as his hip bucked forward, fucking your face as he chased his release.

“Shit, Y/n, I-” His words were choked off with a groan as he came, cumming down your throat in hot spurts.

He slumped back against the wall, breathing hard as you slowly pulled off of him, making a point to meet his eyes again as you swallowed.

“Shit, Y/n,” He said weakly as you stood back up. “That was-”

You cut him off with another kiss, feeling him twitch against your leg as he tasted himself on your tongue.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @ldysmfrst

[muniimyg]

𐙚₊˚⊹ lawstudent!jimin ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

series m.list // taglist

friends to lovers / post break-up (oc is going thru a break-up)

uni au (law students)

fluff

//

it feels like jin has been yapping in your ear forever. if not forever, at least a good 15 minutes has passed since this horrific mock trial finished. you’re still here—taking his shit. 

truth be told, it isn’t really shit. he’s not trying to be mean, he’s being himself—critical in the most gentle way possible. but on days like today, it’s difficult for you to differentiate the gentleness and criticism in his words. 

“___, what i’m saying is… next time, if you’re going to wing it—commit to it. it was too obvious,” jin sighs, watching as you stuff your papers into your bag. “jimin had you cornered by the second argument. prep more, and you’ll do fine for the next one—”

“right,” you mumble. “noted. got it. thanks jin. sorry about today.”

you force a tight smile. jin looks at you, not buying it… but he nods and heads off, leaving you alone in the empty classroom.

except, you’re not alone. 

“it’s no fun if you suck, you know.”

you glance up to see jimin leaning casually against one of the desks. he’s loosening his tie as he approaches you. there’s a smug expression on his face, yet there’s a softness in the way he looks at you.

“not in the mood,” you huff, going back to packing and not bothering to spend another second looking at him. “everyone knows it was an off day for me. i’ll be more fun for you next week.”

jimin chuckles, shifting his weight. “okay but—seriously, you went all in on the wrong precedent. if you’d just tied it back to—”

“jimin,” you snap, finally turning on him. your voice comes out sharper than you mean it to be. “i said i’m not in the mood.”

the air stills as he processes the deliverance of your sentance. his smirk quickly fades and is replaced by something more cautious—more caring. 

jimin raises his hands, palms up. “okay, shit. fuck. what’s going on with you?”

you bite your lip hard, but it doesn’t stop the tears that suddenly spill over. 

you and jimin are decent friends. you’ve gone to enough events with him to feel comfortable and have ran in the same circles every now and then. you two are familiar with your personal lives but not in great detail… maybe that’s why you admit the truth instead of brushing it off. out of everyone you know, jimin is the least likely to be nosy and opinionated about what is going on. 

“i—namjoon and i broke up,” you blurt out, your voice breaking. “and this stupid trial, and jin’s feedback, and—i don’t know, it’s just too much right now.”

jimin’s eyes widen, and for a second, he looks completely out of his depth. but then he steps closer, his hand hovering near your back before he finally pats it, awkward but sincere.

“hey,” he says softly. “that must suck. i’m sorry, ___.”

his words… pull you. 

so simple, yet so heavy. before you can stop yourself, you let out a sob. then, another and another… until you’re completely crying and suddenly he has his arms wrapped around your face is buried in his chest. for a split moment, it feels like he holds you so tight that if he lets go—you’d crumble without him. 

“i’ve got you,” he murmurs, one hand rubbing small circles on your back. “let it out. it’s okay. i’m here.”

his words hand in the air as your heart continues to ache. 

you don’t know how long you stay like that, clutching at his shirt as the weight of everything pours out of you but eventually, your sobs quiet. eventually, you pull back and wipe your face with the sleeve of your button up. 

you two stay silent for a moment. only the sound of you catching your breath and the classroom vents humming fills the space. 

then, with a small tilt of his head, jimin asks, “soju?”

you let out a light laugh, shaking your head. 

“we broke up this morning… am i really going to get drunk now? it’s hardly past lunch.”

he smiles, the corners of his mouth lifting in that soft, familiar way that makes your chest ache a little less. “it’s almost 4pm. lunch passed. it’s dinner time.”

“seriously?”

he nods and nods towards the door. “come on. soju on me.”

without another word, jimin reaches over and finishes packing up for you. you watch and listen quietly as he begins to talk about the best meal pairings with soju. he makes you laugh a little more too.

as the two of you leave the classroom, your bag slung over his shoulder, jimin’s mind begins to race. he feels bad about your breakup—of course, he does—but fuck. 

finally. 

namjoon’s a good guy and all and you didn’t deserve to get hurt—but again. 

finally.

jimin has liked you for so long and has been unable to do anything about it because his timing was off. so, he figured he’d wait it out. you and nam joon were a good pair—but something was missing. passion? yearning? love? something like that… 

not to worry—jimin has a feeling he’ll bring those things to the table along with the soju.

[cxtori]

Osamu Dazai ✮ Reckless (Angst Version)

summary: you vent your frustrations to Dazai after the crazy stunt he pulled with Fyodor

genre: angst, kiiinda comfort, cleaning his injuries, Dazai being a protective idiot

wc:835

warnings: n/a, some Dead Apple spoilers

tori’s note: I’m posting a second version of this story that will be more lighthearted/fluffy than this one. I just liked the concept and when I started writing I realized this could go two different ways. So I just wrote both lmao. Here's the fluffy version!

You were frustrated. No, that only begins to describe it. You were pissed, furious, irate. Whatever other powerful words there are to describe extreme anger, you were feeling it. 

You pour some antiseptic onto the cotton pad in your fingers, the fibrous material soaking up the liquid quickly. You raise it to Dazai’s back and press it against the deep wound resting there.

“Ahh,” Dazai hisses. “Jeez, you could be a little more careful.” You can hear the pain in his voice, but you can also hear the teasing tone underneath it. Your face scrunches in annoyance.

“Shut up. I’m still mad at you,” you huff and continue to clean his wound. 

He’d explained what had happened, how he’d been quite literally stabbed in the back with a poison coated dagger. looking at its placement, it’s a miracle the blade didn’t hit his spine. just an inch further to the right and this whole situation could have been very different.

“I can’t believe you left like that. You should have told me,” you say quietly. 

“I couldn’t. It wouldn’t have worked out like this if I did, you know that.”

And you did. But still. He disappeared so suddenly and the next thing you knew he was working with someone who planned to destroy your home? You knew Dazai would never betray you like that, not seriously. But at the same time, seeing him in that light scared you.

You finish cleaning his back and apply antibiotics and bandages, adding to the many that were already wrapped haphazardly around him. 

Once you’re done, you move to stand in front of him and begin to clean the various cuts and scrapes on his front side. You prepare another cotton pad and swipe over the wounds, none of them being severe enough to require much attention.

As you work, Dazai’s eyes are keenly focused on you. He watches as you carefully clean him up, a soft but determined look on your face, though it’s almost entirely hidden by the frustration distorting your features. 

A smile spreads across his lips and he wraps a hand around your free one. You ignore him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of falling for his flirty little tricks. 

You were both aware of the effects he had on you and, though he didn’t use it against you often, he would use it to his advantage. And right now it was in hopes of getting you to not be angry at him.

As your eyes scan over the marks scattering his body, your vision begins to blur. Before you can stop it, there are tears falling from your eyes. Are these angry tears, sad tears or relieved tears? You have no idea. Maybe it’s all of them at once.

“You idiot. Why do you have to be so careless?” You ask, your voice just above a whisper. Dazai looks at you, his smile slowly fading into a thoughtful but somber expression. He knows you aren’t expecting an answer, but he replies anyway.

“Because I care for you.” And that’s really all it boiled down to. He recklessly puts himself in dangerous situations if he knows that’s what it’ll take to protect his home and friends. To protect you. Even so, you hated his methods.

“I was so worried, Osamu,” you say quietly, afraid that your voice will crack too much if you speak normally. Despite your low tone, the pain and fear in it rings loud and clear. Dazai’s hand grips yours tighter.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to act like you’re working alone.” He doesn’t reply, only drops his gaze to where his hand is wrapped carefully around yours. 

You’d had this conversation countless times before. That he is part of a team that is more than capable of handling serious situations. That he doesn’t have to jump head first into danger to solve problems. That he has other’s to lean on. That he has you. 

But no mater how many times you said this, it never changed. And it terrifies you.

“It’s just… what if you had-”

“I didn’t, that’s what matters,” Dazai says, cutting you off. His hand leaves yours to rest on your face instead, his palm cupping your jaw as his thumb strokes over your cheek, wiping away your drying tears. 

“Please, don’t ever do that again.”

“You know I can’t make that promise.”

He was right. He will continue to keep you in the dark if he knows that’s what it takes to keep you safe, even if you both hate it. There was no point in promising that he wouldn’t. 

His hand moves from your face to the back of your neck, tangling his fingers into your hair. He brings your face closer to his, his dark brown eyes looking into yours intently.

“I love you, more than anything,” He whispers and places a kiss to your forehead. “And I only want to protect you.”

And that’s what he’ll continue to do.

©Cxtori 2024 please do not copy, plagiarize, repost or translate any of my works. reblogs are appreciated

[hazelfoureyes]

Hate mail?

A very misguided edgelord child, or very damaged and lonely adult, seems to be harassing members of the larger hazbin community (not just our HDC)!

Here’s how to respond to these my dearest GN!Does:

0)Screenshot the inbox (optional, see step .5)

1)Report them

2)Block them

0.5)Send Hazel the screenshot and exactly how you WANTED to reply and we will laugh at them and then pity them together (optional, ig, but Im a messy bitch and I love reading these really dumb messages)

In all seriousness, seeing people delete blogs or go inactive from hate mail is just… gut wrenching. Tumblr has provided me such a massively needed community and source of acceptance when I’m terribly lonely and isolated so far from home and my native tongue. I can’t imagine any of us losing that over… well, clearly a child. (If these aren’t children then they are very very pathetic adults so desperate for attention yet too unlikeable to muster kindness they have write the most uninspired hate messages. And on anon? A coward at that 😂)

Luckily, I have a terribly thick skin (scarring does that ✨)

But for the days you are vulnerable, or your skin is running thin, or the words happen to hit a chord, you’re welcome to reach out to me.

If *you* are someone who is also a safe person to turn to, feel free to sound off! Let’s circle the wagons and protect each other. 💝

Yes, they can make more accounts. But every time they have to make a new one is time they aren’t able to harass someone else.

꒰১Fallen Guardian Angel’s of the HDC List*໒꒱

People safe to reach out to when these hit you too hard or just to vent and laugh at the sender (let me know if you want to be added, always keep your mental health and peace in mind):

@fraugwinska ✧ @hazelfoureyes ✧ @zzzykiek ✧ @dewdropdinosaur ✧ @afallowedfawn

This post is linked at the top of my pinned master list if you want to see an updated list! Reblogs don’t show changes to the original post

*again, adults only added to this list. Your life is hard enough at under 18 you don’t need to be taking on the stress of adults. Feel free to start a group amongst yourselves if you really want to be someone’s safe place, but I don’t want to send stressed and possibly trauma dumping adults to a minor.