#but seriously. this online culture has so many problems

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

People online will really be like “you! Individual who cares about this subject and said maybe it would be good, even just an off handed comment, explain it in depth immediately even though you have no real training or experience in debates and even if you point me to someone who you know is better at doing so and articulating the points relevant to what you were saying or suggesting, I won’t check them out even if I wouldn’t have to leave the website we are currently on, because I want YOU and ONLY YOU to explain what this topic represents and respond to my bad faith arguments that have been addressed by people better at it than you hundreds or thousands of time and I can easily look at one of them, especially whoever you suggested could explain it better than you. If you can’t defeat every bad faith argument I make in an attempt to completely discredit both you and the thing you care about then obviously everything about it is wrong and I don’t need to think about it at all ever outside of making you look bad and “winning” this impromptu argument that has been seen and addressed before. Also you weren’t trying to explain the point yourself, you just mentioned it and maybe said it might be good. I win, no one should take that idea seriously, and you’re a bad person.”

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[asshole-rebel-psycho]

The older I get the more I realize these things about dating.

I have been trying to have deep connections and stimulating conversations for some time.

This doesn't seem to work. Especially on dating apps for I guess obvious reasons.

But as an observant, shy, lonely and somewhat intelligent person ( who happens to be gay) I have unfortunately never found love or relationships myself.. I have only seen it through other people

It's pretty apparent that dating is for simple people. I don't mean this in an arrogant way but a majority of individuals seem to not take the question asking part of dating seriously. Idk if this is due to them not being attracted, busy, simple minded or a more narcissistic culture but it is apparent to me that the closer these people are to my location, the less they are willing to learn more about me.

I wonder why that is? 🤔 I've had plenty of engaging online, non dating app conversations with people all over the world.

So part of me thinks that this is due to our new emotionless, soulless culture. Because this problem only exists when I engage with potential matches that can turn into reality.

The need for connection is still there. Fear is holding us back.

Why are people so afraid of reality? What are they running from? Themselves? Other people? Is the world in such a bad place right now that we feel like if we make a connection we know it will probably end up broken like the society we live in? 💔

The more I observe dating and other people's love lives the more it is apparent to me that deep, intellectual, stimulating conversations are not a part of the game AT ALL.

( take it as a grain of salt but from my observations dating goes like this)

One, attraction is the 1# thing! Because if you don't have it there is no fuel to get anything going. The car won't even get out of the lot. Especially off apps.

Secondly, the man usually takes action by getting the girl on the date as fast as possible..he has to woo her by showing her a fun, spontaneous, adventurous, humorous, and flirtatious time.

It is usually filled with banter, funny nostalgic stories, flirting and none of that would even matter if the two ( especially the man who usually carries the convo) was not attracted.

You can seriously make anything work with mutual sexual attraction. I've seen two plain and boring people talk for hours about nothing but because they had those saucer eyes for eachother it just worked! They definitely don't talk about work or deep concepts.

So the man drains his ( or if hes in his 20s) his daddy's resources on the girl to have a "fun" time..meanwhile his sexual motivation is keeping it going because she obviously has many other options.

The girl then looks pretty and vets if he is worthy for a LTR.

If so, she gets brought into this new, advantageous, silly, successful man's life and uses him as a tool to get away from her boring and domesticated life. She uses him for fun, community, hobbies and eventually family.

She uses his resources as a way to post on tiktok, fb and ig to show off to all of her friends " look at the amazing, good looking and successful guy I am able to get" mostly to show status as a woman and to make her friends jealous..because they were mean to her in the past.

None of her *connection* to her man has pretty much anything to do with conversation. ( sounds harsh I know but hear me out)

If you doubt this why do men and women immediately separate at Christmas parties and work events?

Have you ever observed a straight guy talking to a straight girl before? At any age?

It's usually a girl talking with her friends about things that doesn't interest him and his eyes roll over astrology and the girl eye rolling about video games or sports banter. Exc...

It's pretty obvious how for 95% of the population..male and female worlds have NOTHING to do with eachother. And want NOTHING to do with eachother except for what each gender lacks...

Emotional support from the woman and financial stability from the man. What binds them is sex and what keeps them together is family.

This is why my nerdy lesbian ass has such a hard time with dating. Lol

In the typical female way I am relying too much on talking, not much action. And in a very unfair lesbian way I can't seem to find my opposite.

I am trying to find an intellectual match when I should just be finding my feminine opposite. I'm treating dating like lunch dates with friends, Like men discussing politics on the Titanic while smoking cigars.

Unless I want to talk to a mirror long conversation isn't the way to go.

Because it never was to begin with. This is the code I finally cracked. Lol 😆

I'll leave the cerebral banter and philosophical insights to the lonely, individualistic writer side of me..the side of many great minds in history...But even a great writer will drop his work like a hot potato as soon as he finds a woman he is undeniably in love with. 🥰

My point is to find my opposite not my reflection. And my opposite might surprise me with what they can give or know...even if it's not deep or extremely interesting to me. This goes for any gender. Love doesn't work that way.

[thestrangestthing89]

It's not an apology, it's a clarification. He very directly says "you misconstrued what I said" a thing multiple people around here have been trying to say for months. He said this exact same thing in an Instagram post he made a few months ago but people lack the reading comprehension skills to follow something like that. So he said it in a TikTok video again only some people are still not understanding. And it's because they don't want to. (He has recently taken his Instagram post down, I'm guessing because he is getting relentlessly harassed.) The truth of the matter is that many people didn't take the time to understand basic facts about this situation (like what the word Zionism actually means) and the result was that a lot of misinformation spread because people were desperate to make sure their followers knew they were The Most Progressive and The Most Anti-Racist. They did not talk about this issue in a way that was culturally sensitive. They made assumptions about Noah based on anti-Semitic stereotypes and I don't even think they realize they are doing it because, again, they aren't well-informed. But every time someone twists the word Zionism to mean "pro-genocide" and makes the flying leap that anyone using that word is laughing at people dying they are falling into the stereotype that Jews are bloodthirsty. Anytime people say that any Jewish person has the wrong information in this situation and needs to education themselves about their own culture, they are believing that Jews can't be trusted. They did all of these things to Noah and they did it very easily because they are ignorant. These people essentially turned into an angry mob. I can't even count the amount of comments I saw that were basically "I hate Noah too!!! Wait, what did he do? Someone tell me!" They piled on because their peers were doing it and not because they had any clue what the problem was. It was the cool and trendy thing to do so they did it. And they deluded themselves into thinking they were saving Palestinians in the process when they actually didn't do shit for anyone. The only problem is that the people who did this didn't take the time to inform themselves before piling on. Noah didn't apologize to them because he doesn't have to. They owe him an apology though and I think the ones with larger followings are responsible for a lot of this and imo are lucky they didn't get sued for defamation. He didn't do any of the things they are accusing him. They decided for themselves what he thought and believed based on very little information and they have no right to do this to anyone. They seriously think Noah is responsible for single-handedly killing people. He's not in the military or a politician. He didn't even endorse anyone who did. This whole situation is the stupidest fucking thing in the world. They are more outraged over the bullshit they made up about him the actual political situation and it's because they don't actually care. They are using Palestinians as an excuse to say hateful things, but they aren't helping them at all. I don't think Gen Z-ers are realizing that everyone older than them is getting increasingly more concerned about the way they go about their political activism. It's a serious problem and this current political situation only highlighted problems with them that had been occurring for a while now. Relentlessly harassing any Jewish person online for not speaking exactly to your liking isn't activism. Threatening to kill people who disagree with you isn't activism. Trying to ruin someone's career because they didn't act like your parasocial bestie isn't activism. Spamming the comments of everyone's posts with Free Palestine isn't activism and it sure as hell isn't what spreading awareness looks like. That requires being well informed first. Not to mention learning how to have difficult conversations without screaming hysterically at people and shouting that they must be pro-genocide/racist/misogynist/homophobic every damn second just because they said something you didn't take the time to understand.

They need to learn to ask for a clarification before assuming the absolute worst about people. They do this to people in the fandom constantly and it's why no one decent posts here regularly anymore. They are ignorant, plain and simple. But they are so desperate for peer approval and for people to think they are the best activists ever that they don't realize how much damage they do when they behave this way.

The people still pissed at Noah were always going to be. They were always going to pick him apart because they are anti-Semitic and they made that very clear. All he is saying is that people need to understand that both Jews and Palestinians are human and stop taking sides. A thing that anyone with a shred of human decency has been saying for months. The people who haven't been saying this tend to be very young (teens and early 20s) and it's because they fell for a lot of unverified information on TikTok - something that is concerning a lot of people given that it is an election year in the US. All anyone had to do here was listen and they didn't. They are too busy trying to be morally superior to anyone to bother having an actual conversation. They still aren't listening. There was nothing wrong with what Noah said here either. But people are determined to believe that he was laughing at people dying when he wasn't. This literally never happened. They just heard a word they weren't familiar with a jumped to awful conclusions. It's not their place to educate anyone on anything. They are not qualified to do so. And I wish people were smarter about who they were reblogging and weren't so desperate to get more followers by jumping on the bandwagon. They cause so much drama in the fandom constantly by acting like this. This is just the latest example.

The people who think it's now suddenly ok to be violent and homophobic towards someone just because they perceived that person to do something they didn't like, were waiting for an opportunity. They wanted to be horrible and they think they got a reason. They didn't and there is never a reason to behave like this. But it did reveal just how many people in this fandom are horrible human beings. The people who weren't saying this directly were still agreeing with those people and were not better than them. It should have set alarm bells off in their heads that the only people who agreed with them were being vile. That should have been the first clue they were on the wrong side. I wish people learned to think for themselves better. They were clearly jumping on the bandwagon and didn't understand what was going on. And I stand by my comment from a few months ago, we would not be dealing with relentless drama in the fandom if the show had a higher rating. And I do think they need to focus more on their original adult audience again. Most of us do not feel comfortable posting regularly in this fandom when it got taken over by kids who don't understand any of the things they are upset about, but they are upset with everyone and everything constantly. No one came here to babysit.

[big-coyote]

hi!! this may be a weird thing to ask about but ive decided to make one of my longtime ocs a coyote therian (they were connected to coyotes since the beginning) and i wanted to ask if theres stuff i should avoid when talking abt them or doing character design?

ive done some research on my own looking thru tumblr blogs ran by therians mostly, but i mightve missed some stuff!

for now they show their theriantophy as either wearing a coyote looking onesie (which is the first outfit they ever had) or when wearing other clothes they have a tail keychain on their trousers, so i also wanted to ask if you know of any other things they could have to connect with their theriotype?

again im sorry if this is a weird question! <3

(1/2) Hello! Not a weird question at all, I’m actually very honored and happy you’ve asked! I have quite a number of OCs myself that are also therians or otherkin adjacent lol. Also if anyone else has any ideas they’d like to add/advice feel free to comment or reblog!

As for things you should ovoid I’d recommend straying away from the idea of therianthropy being inherently because of mental illness. While it’s totally okay for your Oc to struggle with mental health problems or other serious topics. I often see the stigma online where people assume being nonhuman or having a alterhuman identity means the person in question must have Schizophrenia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, psychosis, a delusional disorder, etc. And again while I know plenty of nonhumans who have those disorders (I have some of them) and that may effect their identities as a whole, it shouldn’t be the end all be all of their identity you know? Ovoid adding more stigma to both.

Another thing I’d stray away from is the idea of a character being a therian because of spirit animals or any mythology related to closed practices/groups. I’ve seen many indigenous people online speak about their discomfort with the word ‘spirit animal’ and how it’s been adopted into pop culture. Being alterhuman is much more then “I feel connected to this thing/this thing is just like me”, it runs much deeper then that and it is as much as a real identity as something like gender, sexuality, religion, etc. It should be taken with as much care and seriousness as those other identities because it is huge and important part to a lot of our lives.

Lastly I’d recommend avoiding making the character the butt end of the jokes. While the Oc themselves can be funny, have funny things happen to them or have funny experiences as a coyote Therian I’d ovoid making them the punching bag to other OCs. Online it’s not uncommon to see many people misunderstanding and mischaracterizing being nonhuman for a quick laugh. It be very disheartening if an OCs entire existence in a story is just “haha they think they’re a dog, that’s stupid”. Again it’s important to take any identity like being a Therian seriously instead of just being the punch line for a joke or gag.

As for the clothing I think the onesie would be incredibly cute and good to wear as well as the tail! Many therians wear tails, both real and faux fur ones, to feel connected to their identity and feel more comfortable. I’ve also known many therians who were things like jewelry with their theriotype on it, fake animal ears, t-shirts, rings, fur coats, earrings, pins/buttons, etc. Some also like collecting plushies or posters with their theriotype as well, or having stickers on their books or drawing them. Or if you’d prefer a more casual character design you could have a character who doesn’t wear any outward Therian gear and prefers to keep it low key. Both options are very valid and would be interesting to see!

But no matter what I’m sure your Oc is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see them! Please tag me if you make any art or stories about them, or if you have any other questions feel free to ask again or DM me!

[destinyc1020]

https://www.vox.com/culture/355242/hollywood-it-boy-diversity-problem-barry-keoghan-jacob-elordi-jeremy-allen-white

Interesting article, I wish me MOC were spotlighted lik a lot of these "white boys of the months"who can do 1 project and suddently are everywhere.

This was a VERY well-written article Anon! I enjoyed reading it! 😊 It really gave food for thought.

First off, I just wanna say that the Michael B. Jordan erasure is just.... 🥴 Seriously?? How are you all gonna act like this man doesn't exist??

Anyway...

I really do think that there are a lot of factors that play into 1) why there are so few "movie stars" of the younger generation these days, and 2) why there's such a lack of diversity.

Chiiiiiile....You're gonna need to take a seat, cuz I's got THANGS to say on this one! It's gonna be a long one lol. 🤣

RE: Movie Stars....

I think the reasons are:

We are living in a different age from the 90s. People need to keep in mind that "the 90s" was at least 30 years ago. Things have changed. People have changed.

The invention of social media, more online "presence" (something that wasn't around much in the 90s) has also played a role

Actors these days aren't living in the age of Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Denzel, or even Leo DiCaprio were when they were making it big. I don't think you can even really compare them.

I also feel like Hollywood is more so about IPs and less about nurturing movie stars. We're living in a post-Marvel world, and for a LONG time it's been the IP (not the ACTOR) that is selling these films. I blame Hollywood for placing emphasis on nostalgic films, "reboots", and IP-heavy films in order to guarantee a sure success at the box office, as opposed to nurturing actors to become movie stars. Tom Cruise didn't become an A-List movie star overnight. None of those A-list actors did. I think people tend to forget that! You have to give many of these younger actors some TIME.

Did I mention social media?? To me, social media has sort of taken away the aspect of "mystery" and "unattainability" that a lot of movie stars and A-List actors had back in the day. Now days, fans have their favorite actors at their fingertips, and they can even comment and interact w/them on social media. That was NOT a thing 30 years ago.

Being more "relatable" to fans is more of a thing than it was 30 years ago. If you're so "relatable" to fans now days, fans start to see you on THEIR level, and it might be hard to view you as a "movie star" when you're so down to earth and "relatable" Lol. 😅 Idk...just saying. You almost need an air of snobbery lol. 😅

RE: Lack of Diversity....

First of all, let's be honest, Hollywood has ALWAYS struggled in this department. 😒🙄 The article is right though, for a while there, it seemed like HW was making a turn for the better.... With films coming out staring actors like Mahershala Ali, Daniel Kaluuya, Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, etc.

What happened?? Well, let's see shall we? Umm...First of all, Chadwick Boseman DIED. �� I actually saw him getting to the level of Will Smith if he had stayed alive, because he was just so darn likeable, and a VERY good actor.

Ummm....Jonathan Majors had assault charges... 😭 Yet ANOTHER talented Black male actor who was starting to get a lot of hype and attention, and was even starting to gain the label from women as "hot", even though he has a Butter Face lol. 😅🤣 But charges of assaulting your gf don't seem to go over too well when you're trying to make it "big" in Hollywood. 🥴

Rege Jean Page was another one who was labeled HOT (and he IS!) after Bridgerton aired. I was excited for him too, but then, his career seemed to take a turn for the worst after he no longer was on "Bridgerton". He still has a chance though to turn this around lol... But yea....

Kelvin Harrison Jr. is super talented imo, but I feel like he needs some more bigger films (he wasn't really the main focus in "Elvis" ) under his belt in order to get more girls to notice him. I remember that he was supposed to be in Euphoria (which could have gotten him more exposure) but then he dropped out all of a sudden (maybe due to filming conflicts w/another project).

My pick to lead the way is still Michael B. Jordan. Women LOVE him! 🥰 He's hot as idk what, he's charming, and he's been in large films, and even made his directorial debut with "Creed 3"! 😁

Daniel Kaluuya is also a great pick as well... But do women really "sweat" him like that?? Idk lol... 👀 You kinda need someone who has some sex appeal. I'm sorry, but when I see Daniel, I see a good actor, but for some reason, he kinda lacks that "something" that makes me say: "Ooooo yeaaa.... I wanna get with him for one night" lol. 🤣 I'm sorry, but that is probably what is lacking lol....for ME anyway. He's a good actor though!

Another thing...Do young black women go ga-ga over actors like that? Serious question. 🤔 I always feel like as a community, we as black women tend to go HAM for the musical artists. I remember growing up I always felt like I was kind of like an anomaly cuz I always loved and crushed on the ACTORS way more than I crushed on male music artists lol. 😅 I feel like it's kinda rare in the black community for us as women (or young girls) to be crushing on male actors like that. I always felt kind of alone in that regard. Thank goodness I had a small group of other black friends around my age who felt the same way I did and shared my love of film. 🥰 (I might make a poll out of this to see what others think)

I kind of feel like SOME sectors of the population (i.e. white girls) tend to be more of the obsessive types when it comes to "internet boyfriends" lol. There are some who just fangirl over guys more than others it seems. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Some segments of the population tend to be way more obsessive with the fangirling and the fanfic writing, the going-to-see-a-movie-10x-because-so-and-so-is-in-it.

I also feel like Hollywood tends to push certain actors with a certain look, and that look very rarely includes black (or moc) men.

I think Dev Patel is promising.... So are Henry Golding, Charles Melton, and Anthony Ramos. I also think that what makes a "movie star" isn't always just the movie, but also what you push them into doing. Tom Holland didn't become a movie star JUST because he played Spiderman. I mean, that certainly HELPED (don't get me wrong lol), but he also became a movie star because he was pushed into various different avenues of promotion for the film when it came out. Lip Sync Battle, radio interviews, TONS Of ComicCon appearances and Meet and Greets. I feel like Hollywood doesn't really NURTURE black male actors like this in order to become movie stars. You kind of have to be EVERYWHERE for a little while so that people will come to know you. THAT is how you become a movie star. It's not just the movie, it's all of the other little things that go along with it. And I don't see Hollywood doing that for black male actors. Some black films aren't even given HALF the amount of global press tour that white films are given. Just saying...

It's interesting that Pedro Pascal was mentioned, cuz a lot of women sweat him and he's well into his 40s. Very interesting (and good) point!

Sorry for this lengthy discourse (if you've even made it down this far ROTFL). 😅

TL;DR Version: I think there are a LOT of factors that play into why there has been a "movie star" drought in Hollywood lately, and why MOC aren't pushed as much to the forefront.

[c0rpseductor]

i complained briefly about this on twitter (“briefly,” he says. Actually i complained about it for quite some time and with vigor) but i hate that godawful website because i am a verbose autist and a tweet is only about a sentence or two long. for me. so i will try to pursue a thought about it here from beginning to end, outside of the constraints of twitter’s character limit (which is targeting me personally)

i have tried on and off for hours to get my mind off this, but i was really upset and disappointed to find out that richard siken not only did write wincest himself but seems to approve of approaching incest from the angle of sexual fantasy in general — these tweets about it are really sticking in my craw, and apparently they are from an interview he did in 2015, but the whole thing just came up again and it’s not my favorite take!

the question about consequences — and “question” is generous, i know he’s already years ago come to the conclusion that whatever consequences exist as a result of such narratives do not matter — gets me bc it’s like, dude, i KNOW what the consequences are. from experience. i have lived with them all my life.

the cycle is as such: writers portray incest as mutual sexual deviance as opposed to the reality of it being violence. literature portrays it as such, pop culture portrays it as such, fanfiction portrays it as such, it is widely discussed as such — as an example, try really thinking about how often perceived promiscuity is blamed on “daddy issues,” and what that may imply. many people never have any personal experience with incest or with survivors and come to regard it as a distant sort of kink activity, or an imaginary, almost fun and racy sort of violence that happens to a distinct class of subhuman other totally segregated from human society. survivors are blamed because the dominant cultural narrative believes they are willing participants and not victims of rape, survivors internalize shame and do not come forward. survivors often come forward to partners who find their childhood trauma (incestuous abuse is most often CSA) arousing. the online support group i frequent has a recurring problem of lurkers who use DMs to sexually harass psychologically vulnerable victims of abuse while they are in crisis. society does not take us seriously because the violence we face is seen not as violence, but as a category of pornography.

furthermore, trying to say this makes me the bad guy. to frankly and clearly state the harm perpetuated against me and others by these cultural narratives & their continuation in every aspect of life is regarded as puritanical and Orwellian. nevermind that the proliferation of such ideas & narratives and my exposure to them left me terrified that my closest friends would think i was a pervert for disclosing sexual abuse from my parents, nevermind that I spent years being told by my abusers and society at large that i’d brought it on myself, nevermind that i’m continually surrounded by that rhetoric every day and continue to have salt rubbed in the already unbelievably painful wounds — some people are criticized for publishing wincest fic in ao3, and this is the truest sort of victim; surely someone who was merely raped by his father for years could not understand the pain and martyrdom of being called an asshole online. THIS is the real concern. upholding the secret and mystique around intrafamilial sexual violence for the sake of shippers’ enjoyment of a middling CW show from 2004 is how we will fix society, no matter how many incest survivors’ dignity we must sacrifice to make it happen

anyway. i think this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but trying to convince anyone that this stuff is even tangentially related to the experiences of real human beings who may see it and be hurt is a good deal like trying to tell people unicorns are real, in that they will laugh in your face.

[fandom-hoarder]

Considering OP is yelling at ppl to leave them alone when questioned on specifics because a post that says “the grooming in spn fandom is insane” (specifically Wincest) was “not a callout” and only “a legitimate safety concern” about “a space is known for well you know”, they are not worth the time. They also reacted very rudely to an anon who only wanted to apologize for following them (thinking that OP was anti Wincest and trying to respect OP’s boundaries). Just not worth it.

[I held onto this in my drafts for a day, but I think I'm just gonna publish it after all. Even though v did a much better job of addressing the op directly, imo, I'm not interacting with the op. I'm also going to gather screenshots in a posterity post, but it will likely be unrebloggable.]

Hmm, I debated publishing this ask, because I'm really just. So tired. And annoyed. And it's not a great combination for tact. Nevertheless...

I haven't seen the yelling myself, just avoidance and redirection. Flippancy. But maybe it's happening in a space I can't see, or between people I've blocked, idk. If so, it sounds a lot like it IS January 2023 redux 🙃🙃🙃 -- I HAVE seen it now, and my suspicion still stands, though still not 100%.

People need to stop making such serious accusations when they refuse to back it up. Words fucking mean things. Saying a certain sector of the fandom--that ostensibly you're also a part of?--has a problem with grooming and is stupid...that was NOT worded in a way to help people stay safe. It was worded like a vague callout post to scare people. We've seen those before. 🙄

A post that was actually concerned about grooming in online spaces *in general* would list some things to be aware of, things to recognize, tips for getting out of a situation. But no, it's this vaguepost without anything specific, with the one question in the notes asking for an explanation or if it's sarcasm-- unanswered [eta: well maybe they responded and I can't see it, since I realized I had op blocked]-- and one reblog from a person who claims it wasn't about wincesties specifically, when it demonstrably WAS??

So who is doing it, and where/how? I don't necessarily think it's a good idea to make public posts with names that devolve into personal beef and worse, but if someone is making the accusation that there's a grooming problem in the fandom they need to come with receipts or at the very least descriptions of the situation??

This isn't cutesy. You know exactly what anon is talking about, as shown later. Reblogging the post unaltered gives at least the appearance of agreeing with it as written.

This isn't to make light of! You reblogged it.

This isn't helpful.

If there was no one specific, why reblog a post specifically about the wincest fandom having insaneeee grooming? It wasn't "just in general." It's not a joke, yet this reply looks entirely unserious.

I am too old to keep seeing this type of shit go through the fandom at regular intervals, especially when it's so often a false accusation based on interpersonal drama. The only purpose this serves is riling up the dash. It's exhausting, and waters down the gravity of the accusation by making it a phrase that cries wolf.

I'm not even saying outright that the post is a LIE; just that it has seriously similar markers of past drama that was approximately 90% unaddressed purity culture biases about fiction, 9% interpersonal beef, and 1% actual concern for a human being who was an adult, but young. And it led to the utter gutting of fandom, loss of acquaintances, deletion of a glut of fic-- all due to smearing the reputation of a writer by using horrible UNTRUE AND INCENDIARY ACCUSATIONS.

So I'm sure many of you already understand why I take umbrage with these types of posts! Who knows if it's about fiction or something real? 🤷‍♀️

And since there's no further context to be found, the way it LOOKS on the dash is that someone is taking creeper!Dean too seriously. It could be about something else, but who knows.

[mask131]

It is always a fascinating experience to see people describe their dislike or hatred of, for example, a fantasy series or a fantasy book, when you, yourself, you know that it is objectively good - as in, in term of literature and of book it is good, no matter if you actually like the story or the characters.

In general, it really makes you realize how one's reception and appreciation of a book recently has turned away from actual literary quality, and is now mostly tied to the reader's personal life-experiences and personal world-views.

For example recently - this is why I picked up a fantasy series as an example - I read a fantasy book which had as a main character a composer of music, and made music a part of its plot, a key part. I myself do not know anything about the technicalities of music, but I recognized that there was a real work of information and knowledge placed into this, and despite not knowing anything about higher musical arts, I still perfectly got everything the author was trying to carry - and it worked very well for non-experts, while also clearly being written by someone who knows what they're talking about.

And I randomly found this one person on a blog that said that this was one of the weakest and most dragging parts/aspect of the book because, and I quote, "I get people would be into reading about sword-fighting, or languages, but music? Seriously?"

This person basically said that because they found the subject silly and uninteresting outside of the book (in real life, as this person clearly has no interest in the making of music), the parts dedicated to exploring it and using it for fantasy were bad. And that was it. It wasn't about the handling of the topic, or the writing style, or how well it carried in the plot, it was just about... "Music doesn't interest anyone, so this book who is third about it is already of bad quality".

And I'm not even going to point out the obvious problems a person has when they think that nobody should take interest in music... In fact (and I am a bit jumping around here from point to point), this is something I noticed in online forums and so when it comes to fantasy reviews and fantasy audiences - at least the English speaking ones. One of their very first complaints is "Fantasy books are too generic, they're too cliche, they're too stereotyped" but when someone tries to do something new or bring something added to the table, the same people will criticize it as being too weird or unusual or not interesting enough. And with this specific "music" comment, we can unload a whole can of worms about this sort of strange "reverse-geek-bullying" in fantasy reader groups.

One of the things I appreciate with fantasy stories is variety, the exploration of new territories, the use of new sources of inspiration. A very easy way to do this is simply to focus on a part of life, a trade, a job, an element of culture that hasn't been focused on by "traditional", "archetypal", "stereotypical", "done to eath" fantasies. There are epic fantasy stories about music and the making of it. There high fantasy series about cooking and the art of food. There are weird fantasy series about poetry and how to write a poem. There are mythical fantasy stories about making books, and the numerous jobs surrounding the existence of a book. There are so many stories which aren't about just digging up treasures in lost temples, and making war against evil overlords, and having sex with pretty girls saved from human sacrifices. Fantasy series where people often overlooked in fantasy - cooks, writers, musician, poets - will have a prominent place and an important role. And what happens?

Some idiots just come in and mock this/insult it, and they typically do what bullies in real-life do when they call someone's interest or passion "geeky" or "nerdy". The two words are never spoken or outright written in their reviews, but when you consider their sentences, their points, their logic, which is "This author has a passion for a specific craft or a specific hobby I do not enjoy/I find boring/I find weird, so this is bad", you actually can hear in their unspoken word the same cries of "Look at this nerd!" or "What a geek!" bullies shouted upon seeing kids enjoy video games, play role-playing games or reading science-fiction books ; talk eagerly about math, or share a love for classical literature, or enjoy computer coding.

This is literaly the same logic, but in a very bizarre way, applied to fantasy reviews and the appreciation of fantasy literature.

I don't know if that's related to specific fandoms and authors fan-base in the fantasy world, or if it is a recurring phenomenon everywhere - but there's clearly a faction of "fantasy readers" and "fantasy fans" you must be aware of, who will complain if something is too "that was done before" and be unhappy if they are given "something that hasn't been done before". They want non-archetypal character, but standard plot-focus ; they want stereotype-breaking worlds, but that the author has the same interests as them ; they want to not see specific tropes they know too well, and yet they refuse to read about stuff they do not know about. They're just infuriating little bugs, who somehow manage to perpetuate within the world of fantasy enjoyers the same behavior little school-bullies had towards fantasy-enjoyers back in the old decades when fantasy "wasn't cool".

In fact, I wonder if this behavior isn't somehow related to the fact that fantasy became much more widespread, normal, recognized and "cool" - meaning the type of idiots who mocked non-usual and deemed-weird subjects got "absorbed" within the fantasy sphere, and simply switched from "Let's not care about fantasy cause it's weird and not real literature" to "Okay, fantasy can be good since everybody is into it, but let's still disdain and reject weird stuff within fantasy".

[myonmukyuu]

Back from Supanova Melb and had a great time 🥳🥳 Thank you to everyone who visited my humble little booth!

I'm happy to announce that I managed to sell the whole remaining stock of my SetsuPomu comic! 🎉🎉

I also feel confident enough to organise another print run in the future as well for anyone who missed the initial run!

It was my very first time tabling at a con so I didn't really know what to expect? I didn't bring many goods. Just those shikishis that I've been working on over the year and some of my remaining books that were spares. I could only bring a small number of books because they're really heavy and I'm weak and pathetic 😔

I didn't think the low book stock would be a problem going in because I kinda assumed they wouldn't sell? Love Live Nijigasaki doesn't have a huge presence locally so my expectations weren't set high. I would've been happy to sell a single copy honestly 😅

So when I did sell that first copy I was super surprised! I'm so sorry to the one who bought that first book! I was acting a bit weird bc I was just in disbelief that someone wanted to buy the comic ahahhah

I was like "Huh??? You want to buy it???? Huh???? For real???"

I seriously didn't think I'd sell the rest of the remaining stock. Sure I only had like 10-15 books leftover from the online sales but I only brought 5 books on the first day!!! I ended up leaving the con early and scurrying home to pick up more. And that commute was about 2 hours so it was super exhausting (esp since my day began at 6am 😅)

I'm still super surprised that people actually bought my book! Like ???? All sorts of people too. Both fans of Love Live! and people who had no context of the series. Different demographics too! Again, I'm so thankful for the support!

It was nice seeing that there were still LL fans in Melbourne as well. Love Live! is a bit rare to see in artist alleys these days, so a lot of people stopped by to mention they were Love Live fans 😊

Most people were Muse or Aqours fans and didn't make any purchases but I was still happy to meet them. Again, it's nice knowing there are other LL fans around!

I'm also pleased to announce that there are at least 5 Setsuna Yuki fans in Melbourne...! (Including me...) As well as Nijigasaki fans 🎉🎉

One person was wearing a Dive! long sleeve and I was like !!!! I have the exact same top at home 😭😭😭 I respect it!!! I also know that it's expensive as hell to export so I doubly respect it 🥲

I definitely want to keep representing Nijigaku at cons 💪!!

It's also worth noting that this con was a general pop culture con. So the audience is more mixed with Western pop culture. It made finding those LL fans extra surprising!

During the day I had a lot of time to burn. While I'm happy with the outcome of the con, it's not like I made tons of sales. My store only has a small amount of stock for a niche (compared to having a million prints and little knick knacks) so it's pretty expected. But yes, I was just idling for a lot of it.

I did end up drawing some quick shikishi on the spot.

I ended up selling Rathalos and Yu! (Mizuki is looking for a home still.) I was also asked if I was taking shikishi commissions which feeds my ego, but I did end up rejecting bc I didn't feel confident enough with these quick ones to take commissions just yet. (In general I reject commissions anyways bc I'm not great at them...)

A neat thing is that taking the hour do draw that one Rathalos drew some Monster Hunter fans to the table! I managed to have a few little conversations about the game bc of that. I think I'll make more MH shikishi in the future since it's fun to draw. It's also funny to think about my booth becoming LL x MH since the communities are pretty different 😂😂

Overall, I think the con was a success! I have a bunch of cute stories to tell but I think I'll leave it for another post. Financially, I did end up making back all of my expenses! So that's a success in that front as well.

I'd like to do more cons in the future! But honestly it's a little hard for me to be accepted as I tend to make really little content. (Just a few books and shikishi). I think I can only really do half tables...

But I'll do my best!

Once again, thanks to everyone who visited!

Stay tuned for my shop updating to include all the spare goodies. Now that this con is over I can sell them online 🥳

[intersex-questions]

Hi, I’m the anon who was asking a few questions about measuring the clitoromegaly, I just wanted to say it’s not just you, I’ve also been researching so much about it and also can’t find any definitive numbers unfortunately. Some I’ve seen only measure the clitoris and some also take into consideration the clitoral hood along with measurements of the clitoris.

It’s difficult because most of the ways to measure indicate I do have it, but some might indicate I don’t as well. I think really I’m just quite scared to bring the idea up to my doctor and wanted to be more certain of it before I do, but I think with the amount of uncertainty around it I’ll just have to go ahead and bite the bullet lol.

Do you have any advice for bringing something like this up to a doctor? I guess I’m scared of not being taken seriously or questioning around why I want to know and that “I just want to know what’s going on with my body” isn’t a valid enough reason for the doctor to do testing. Also just the intimacy of the subject matter- for some reason I can talk about it in detail to strangers online with no problem but the idea of talking to a doctor about it brings shame and embarrassment.

Anyways thanks a bunch for all that you do on here (:

That's reassuring, thank you ;w;! It's definitely something that I think doesn't have a clear standard, which makes sense for several reasons. Clitoromegaly can be a cultural/societal standard to what's considered notable or what's considered acceptable. It's also something that some doctors may want to intentionally obfuscate. Also, I don't think many individuals who have clitoromegaly are often seeking out medical situations for it, or, if they are, it wouldn't be uncommon for them to be faced with intersexism (even if they're not aware that's what it is) and either be lied to about their variation or have their variation hidden from them. Determining it on an individual level can be a really harrowing experience. Especially since you can't exactly just go into a room full of people with clitorises and compare. Many of those people would likely be intersex, anyways.

And I totally know what you mean about embarrassment with doctors, don't worry. I can talk about things that are usually "TMI" with people like my partner, friends, even strangers. But with a doctor, it's mortifying. It can also be just embarrassing to mention things that aren't TMI even slightly. I think talking to doctors can be so difficult sometimes because there's often an inherent power dynamic for many where the doctors do have some level of power over them and are situationally in a position that has much impact over you.

There's a few methods you can do to try to cope with embarrassment. However, it's good to keep in mind that no matter what, you'll likely still be very embarrassed about it. Don't go in with the expectation that you'll be able to just miraculously no longer be embarrassed. Sometimes life is having to deal with experiences that make us embarrassed. If you have trouble using words when you're embarrassed, you can write or type a note that explains all your concerns to your doctor and give it to them to read. You could also send it to them prior to any appointment or contact with them and tell them you want to talk about it. Once you send something like that, it's sent, and you can't undo that. And once they do start to talk to you about it and ask questions, it's hard to get out of that situation or just not answer. If you think you'll be able to talk and want help with just dealing with having embarrassment, going through your thoughts and "talking" to and with them might help. Being aware of how you feel can help you determine how to deal with those feelings. I really like the CBT triangle where you identify what event happens and the thoughts, feelings, and actions that surround that in a triangle. All of these things exchange with each other and determine what happens. Feelings and thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies depending on how we choose to act on them, and our actions can cause those feelings to become worse, and, in turn, our thoughts. Try to deconstruct these things and reframe and replace your thinking. Something I was taught was to try to think of the worst case scenario, best case scenario, and the most likely scenario. What's the best possible outcome, and what would happen? What's the worst possible outcome, and how would we deal with that? What's the most realistic thing to happen? Some people, with embarrassment, also feel comforted when considering that other people deal with the same situations that cause you embarrassment. Your doctor also sees a doctor. Your doctor also has "embarrassing" health problems or things that are often considered "TMI". Your doctor also needs treatment for these things. Your doctor wouldn't go into a profession full of things that are considered "TMI" if they were not okay with hearing about, discussing, and treating such things.

I know that might not be the best advice or all too helpful, but I hope maybe it gives you some ideas!

And thank you for your kind words ;w;!!! I'm happy to be of help and love running this blog.

[halleyuhm]

I saw you were looking how to get into the writeblr community.

And I was wondering, what are your current WIP’s or blorbos? Rambles welcome! (No seriously if you look at my blog I am nothing without rambling)

I don’t really know you, but I too want to get in the community more and know more people! Writeblr can be a struggle!

Hi, thank you for the ask and the kind words! I've been working on the answer for a while because tbh I have so many wips (ENFP issues with finishing stuff) that I had to choose those that do have a chance to be completed someday haha

So these are my more advanced wips:

Route LXVI. Status: Fixing plotholes, reducing the number of words, and editing in general. It's my only slice of life so far. I began writing it because I wanted to practice my English and use a real-life setting. I got hooked haha. It tells the story of Liv (Olivia), whose past has affected the way she approaches relationships. The story follows her character development throughout the events that take place around her. I actually wrote a synopsis, soo copy-paste:

Living with her sister in Orlando, with an exhausting job and trying to finish her studies, Olivia has no interest nor time for distracting stuff. But after her online friends suggest she should start taking her gaming channel more seriously, her life changes. Quite literally. Behind anonymity, Liv can have whichever life she wants, away from her most hidden secrets. The new hobby allows her to turn into LXVI, a joyous and bubbly girl with a perfect life. And maybe that's what Liv needs to feel happy again. But, she also has to deal with real life as well, including bad choices, faulty relationships, and the hot new problem called Damien. And, when real and virtual life mix, how many lies are too many lies? How much can you trust someone on the other side? And, what happens if you fall in love with a boy on the other coast of the country?

Lunática. Status: writing. Genre: fantasy. The idea is to have the story set in the current modern world but with magic creatures aka Beasts (werewolves, vampires, witches, and the like), and Hunters of those. It's a mash-up of some different blorbos I previously had and couldn't manage to finish, so I'm still working out how they fit together. In the basic storyline, the main character's family (code name: Lex) belongs to the Hunters faction, but she doesn't know anything about this. Until she saves a "wolf" and later finds a human with the same wound markings, so she adds two + two. As a bonus, she develops water powers that change according to the Moon phase... and she wears hearing aids, which sometimes pick up voices that shouldn't be there... I want to play around with synesthesia, portals, clans, and abilities for this one.

Ichor. Status: planning and world-building. Just like the previous wip, this is a mash-up of ideas, but now in a High Fantasy medieval-like setting where different realms come into play. In this world, the only creatures that are magical by nature are the inhabitants of the other realms (which in layman's terms are shapeshifter angels and demons). Humans have discovered that they can also cast spells if they use the blood of the first group, and this leads to the expected wars, refugees, famine, closed realms, and prejudices. The main character's story is still a mess of imagery I'm yet to put together, but the main idea is for her to be a shapeshifter affiliated with the human military who slowly discovers the plotting going on behind closed doors, as well as the truth about her past.

By the stars foretold. Status: writer's block. This is a High Fantasy set-up where I have 4 different narrators whose stories are alternatively told through the chapters. Each one belongs to a different background, culture, ideology, classical nature element... Their code names are Ruby, Zak, Silva, and Enzo. They intertwine and separate along the story while they all pursue their own goals, which slowly converge into the same one, in a sort of "tangled destinies" story, and I plan for at least one of them to become a 'villain'. There are dragons and other magic creatures, different countries in war, magic academies, royalty plots, tournaments, and bustling city life. The issue? I started writing with no plan in mind because I just wanted to enjoy the characters, and now I've reached a point where I should already know what the end game is. Besides, some ideas overlap with the previous wip! I still have a long way to go but at least I like where it is going.

So these are the most advanced, but I have more blorbos around there which are just a basic idea and some scenes, names or even endings: I have a wip about a magic (called Modulation) Academy where everyone has their own ability, and I have the beginning and the end but not the middle xd.

Anyways! Thanks for letting me ramble! Writeblr is indeed a struggle and this has immensely helped me start expressing myself (and I really like your blog, btw!).

See you around!

[jonathanbrostar]

So I found out that one of the streamers who was bullied for wanting to play hogwarts legacy was Pikamee, my favorite vtuber. She was harassed to the point of logging off and now she hasn’t come back for several weeks. And I want to talk about this because it made me realize something.

First, I myself am a closeted trans woman, so I have every reason to take trans rights issues seriously, and I do. I despise jk rowling and I share most people’s objections to hogwarts legacy. It upsets me how many people will still defend her and Harry Potter as a franchise.

Second, I really like Pikamee and still do. She’s a sweetheart and has always been inoffensive. She’s also half Japanese, living in Japan. I have no read on the Japanese trans community with regard to how they feel about hogwarts legacy, Harry Potter, or jk rowling. While I doubt they like rowling, my ignorance of Japanese lgbtq+ priorities gives me pause—it’s very possible that the problems with hogwarts legacy are lesser known or prioritized there, because of different concerns of different urgencies, and perhaps different cultural values at play. Pikamee is historically very careful not to offend her viewers, and because of the different situation in Japan, she may not have seen much or understood the issues surrounding the game—and I highly doubt the most vocal people bullying her were explaining them to her kindly, and we probably not her fanbase. I think that’s unfair. It highlights once again the extremely western and white-anglo priority of people’s objections—that what white anglos care about is objectively the most important and not up for debate, because it affects us. (Another example is how “Sirona,” a traditionally feminine and non-English name, that is not even pronounced as “sir” but “see-roh-nah” has been taken by this site to be a blatant instance of transphobia.) This all strikes me like we’ve decided that playing hogwarts legacy is against the Trans Commandments, and if you play it you’re sinning, no matter who you are, where you’re from, or what your situation is. I think it’s rigid and unfair in a moralist sense, and is quite similar to how religious people harass non-believers.

Next, a valid point is that “people were mean to me for playing a video game” and “people won’t listen to us and our lives are at stake” are of course not equivalent situations. The latter is far more serious and urgent than the former. So how could I compare this scenario to religious moralist harassment when the harm they cause is not even remotely equivalent? Well, for one thing I think it’s the methodology that’s similar and not the effects—I think the moralist attitude is a holdover from western Christian rigidity, and is morally problematic.

For another thing, and this is my most important point, the awareness that we are trying to raise hasn’t provided us any material benefit whatsoever. Our material situation hasn’t improved at all. More and more anti-trans legislation gets passed, jk rowling is still rich as sin, transphobes are still harassing us; the systemic forces keeping us down and oppressing us are no weaker than they were before. But hey at least we stopped a sweet Japanese girl from playing an offensive video game, right? We did it, reddit tumblr! But actually nothing has changed (except maybe now MORE people hate us??), our lot has not improved, no one has listened to us, and transphobes celebrate hogwarts legacy because they know we hate it. Is this the victory we were hoping for? Was our conquest worth it? Did our online inquisition root out all the sin in those nasty streamers? Did we finally prove once and for all that consuming certain pieces of media is inherently immoral?

I’m over it. People can play the goddamn wizard game if they want and I’m not going to give them shit for it. Instead I’m going to put my transgressive energies to good use somewhere else. An online utopia where everyone follows all the made-up moral rules still doesn’t put food in my fucking mouth when no job will hire me because I’m trans. Fuck this.

[saint-starflicker]

Other/Nuance. Back in the day, we had goatse and tubgirl memes. Don't look that up. Do not look that up, for the love of every pantheon in human history do not revive it. But, I mean...That was trolling culture. That was a specific way to be an annoying loser, and people getting upset about a troll spamming lemon party (don't look that up if you don't already know it) was the end-all be-all purpose of spamming those shocking images. This would be on sites that it would take such a long time to report and remove that content, and trolls were basically online droogs that revelled in it. That's what I had to navigate, so that's become my baseline: Is this discomfort from a trolling thing? Is the "artwork" or "writing" purposely violating as many people's peace for no purpose beyond that the troller can feel like they made some mark on the world by upsetting somebody else, as a distraction from their real-life problems or to feel superior? If yes, then ignore or block. It's pretty easy now, even if some trolls would feel triumphant that they got some reaction (blocking)—curating your online experience is a lot easier now than it was 25 years ago, isn't it? So curating your online experience is normal now. Trolls imagining a win are not my problem—that's between them and their court-mandated therapist, or whatever.

The above level doesn't really deserve as much effort as this next one, which is...when it's not a trolling thing.

It's an artist or writer doing their thing, there are warning labels, it's all art and fiction. Then, despite the warning label, something in it just happens to be very repulsively not a thing that I can stay with. Maybe I don't find any substance that makes the shock/upset/disgust worthwhile, and then there's nothing more to say. Maybe I can't explain it because the content activated my "yike" and click-away reflex so fast that I don't even remember it because I'm laughing with relief at that not being on my screen anymore (this has seriously happened to me. Buffy fandom, geocities site, 2002.)

So the reason I seem to have a threshold for it is because I can yike and click away with online art and stories. I can't do that with real life, offline, physically harmful people. These are not the same. The lived experience of the difference is strikingly obvious.

Beyond that, sometimes I have nothing to say about it. Beyond the shock, maybe the art or fiction is really banal and mediocre—but I don't even bother wondering if this artist/writer in (allegedly) earnest to create something is genuinely working through personal issues or exploring an idea, or disguised their trolling...because, just, nothing. Nothing from me, I can't help that, whatever. We all move on like ships that pass in the night.

Other times, I think the work had enough about it that I can say something about. "Night Eats Color" is the Persona 4 fandom's own Lolita in the way the child-abuser narrator gets to tell the story, but there's also a bit of Neil McCormick from Mysterious Skin to his victim, and I will argue that despite containing CSA and telling the story from the point of view of the abuser and the victim does not behave as expected of a traumatized CSA victim...this work still successfully frames the act as disgusting and reprehensible using various other literary techniques, details, story context and plot beats.

I did not tell the author this. I even probably have to say, "don't harass the author just because I said this exists".

Sometimes I think something has shocking subject matter and that it's not good art or writing at all—but that there is something to it that is interesting to analyze, even if the work itself is unutterably garbage. (I did not like the execution of A Little Life, but I can understand what it was going for but just not nailing it.) In those cases, I hope that even my complaints will be analytical. I should by then have clarified my standpoint within myself, so that I'm not railing against something because of misappropriated personal issues, like so-and-so idea represented reminds me of something I blame a bad breakup for or getting bullied in grade school or blah blah—I hate reading those sorts of things, I think it's a waste of my time and attention (because it's not a developing discussion, instead it's a You problem disguised as a This Show/Character Sucks problem, basically bad-faith criticism) so I hope I don't write those. If my discomfort is a Me problem, then I hope that's sorted out before I talk to anybody other than my nearests and dearests about it. Finally, I also should have clarified my framework by then: Am I analyzing/discussing the meaning of this uncomfortable art on the basis of its craft and skill in this medium? Or how it emerged from the culture it's in? Or its rhetorical purpose (whether that's good or godawful)? Those are not the same frameworks at all, and I get annoyed reading them conflated with each other (or one disguised as another) just because the reviewer/complainer is upset.

The standpoints and frameworks should be much better-defined, if anything worthwhile is going to be added to the discussion about it beyond "thing bad."

CSA mention warning in the video below, because Talk Salò 2002 is about (surprise!) talking about Salò 1975.

There. That's what I do. ☝️

Plz reblog for a bigger sample size

[ayakh03]

The Bechdel test: The representation of women in the media.

The Bechdel test is a test that evaluates the representation of women in movies, works of fiction, and other media in general. For a piece to pass the test, it must include:

2 female characters

The 2 must have a conversation with each other

The conversation can’t be about a man

When I first saw this I thought about how simple those requirements are, there’s no way so many movies won’t pass the test. Well I was wrong. 

Allison Bechdel had a realization in 1985. She realized that she had never seen a movie that included more than 1 female character, and if it did they never talked about anything other than a man. This realization inspired her to create a comic strip called “The Rule”. In this comic, 2 women are talking and one of them expresses her requirements, which will allow her to go watch a movie.  

Bechdel, A. (2008). The essential Dykes to watch out for. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

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This comic strip is the basic foundation of the bechdel test, which has become a tool to call out gender inequality in works of fiction, and pop culture. 

Taking in consideration the date Alison Bechdel made her comic strip, it explains a lot. At the time, everyone was way more sexist, female representation was very stereotyped in every type of media, and the lack of female repression was very present. Of course, times have changed. This test has made filmmakers and audiences pay more attention to diversity and the authenticity of female representation.

This test has raised awareness of the big picture, but what I’m worried about is people taking it too seriously, specially nowadays. In movies, you have to take in consideration the context of the story and the message of it. And a media not respecting this rule doesn’t make the movie sexist, and it doesn’t make it bad. I feel like this rule was a good test to call out filmmakers in the earlier days but nowadays, I wouldn’t pay too much attention to it, feminism-wise.

In fact, I believe we can use this test to point out other issues, like concerning character depth and relationships. Thinking about the amount a movies that had no reason to fail this very simple test, but still did, is quite sad honestly, specially successful movies like Avatar, baby driver, 500 days of summer and many more, just because it’s really not that complicated to achieve. 

The way I see it this test really just points out the lack of depth in characters. Well-developed characters have opinions, passions, interests, and problems that definitely don’t revolve only around men. Again, this doesn’t make a movie bad, it’s just surprising that so many movies fail this test. Funnily enough, even movies with female protagonists fail the test, like “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, and “House of Gucci”. One of the most shocking for me would be “Blonde”, which is a biopic about Marilyn Monroe. This really shows that the movie focused mainly on the male presence in the pop icon’s life, which was actually one of the subjects the movie was most criticized on.

A recurring subject of controversy in the animation industry has been the representation of women in animated movies. Regarding Disney, with time there has been a very obvious change and growth in the depictions of female characters in their movies, especially with their princesses, regarding culture, gender roles, and standards in society. For a very long time, the most successful Disney movies, which are obviously Princess movies, would constantly portray women as helpless women who need to be saved by a powerful man. As expected, many of the earlier Disney princess movies do not pass the Bechdel test. But once again, I use this test to focus on the lack of character development the princesses endure. 

Epstein, J.Z., Kristin Chirico, Leonora (n.d.). We Did An In-Depth Analysis Of 21 Disney Female Leads. [online] BuzzFeed. Available at: https://www.buzzfeed.com/justinezwiebel/we-did-a-census-of-all-the-disney-female-animated-characters.

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Fun fact: Aurora only had 18 lines in the movie Sleeping Beauty. However, older Disney princesses being more towards the passive side could be justified by the era of their time, and their cultural norms' impact on trait tonal women's behavior. Their stories usually focus on their escape or the defeat of evil, but never their character growth. The princesses obviously do have personalities but it’s more about the exploration of their characters being limited by the creators. Fortunately, with time, Disney has evolved a lot more, along with their characters. Nowadays, the stories revolve more around the princesses’s character growth, and even if they have a love interest, it doesn’t mean they need them to survive, which sends a beautiful message that strong, independent women can be in love too. 

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References:

Backstage.com. (2022). What is the Bechdel Test? [online] Available at: https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/what-is-the-bechdel-test-75534/#section2.

Edlund, M. (n.d.). The Portrayal of Women in Disney Films. [online] otago.shorthandstories.com. Available at: https://otago.shorthandstories.com/the-portrayal-of-women-in-disney-films/index.html.

Jimenez, S. (2022). THE REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN IN DISNEY ANIMATED FILMS THE REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN IN DISNEY ANIMATED FILMS. [online] Available at: https://digitalcommons.unomaha.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1189&context=university_honors_program.

No Film School (2018). The Bechdel Test - Everything You Need To Know. YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Meq3CyuKOjM.

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[thefunfeds]

One, Two, Three, Four, How Many Addictions Do Girlbosses Ignore?

If I told you to picture someone who has a porn addiction, you'd probably think of a man.

Suppose I asked you to explain the harmful effects of excessive porn watching. You'd probably tell me that it starts young, or something about how it creates an unrealistic expectation for real-life partners, or that it causes problems achieving arousal and orgasm, leading men to seek out often increasingly violent scenarios that depict the brutalization of women just so they have that precious hit of dopamine. Maybe you'd even mention something about the online spaces where these men find themselves in pursuit of the porn that will get them off.

We live in a society that places stereotypically masculine ideals, traits, and people on a higher pedestal than stereotypically feminine ones. This is dangerous because it implies that most research and technology are designed with a male-centered focus, often overlooking women and failing to recognize that certain issues may present differently in women.

Take alcoholic drinks, for example. The low-caliber, casual drinks by gender usually consist of men drinking beer and women drinking wine.

Beer ABV is usually between 4 to 8 percent. Wine ABV is anywhere between 18 to 22%

If I told you about a man who went to the bar every single day to knock back glasses of Corona and Heineken because it calms him down and helps him unwind, you'd probably be worried that he was a functioning alcoholic, and if he continued his behavior, he'd be at risk of developing a beer belly, and the effect of his drinking on his family would probably mean some type of aggression towards them.

If I told you about a woman who kicks off her heels and immediately heads to the kitchen to knock back glasses of wine after work every day to relax, the reaction might be slightly different. You might shrug and say she deserves to destress! Or pull up one of many articles that exist saying that a glass of wine is actually quite healthy! If she gets a little intoxicated, it's okay because it's just wine, after all! It'll probably just make her a little giggly or horny, and that's okay!

The two people in both scenarios are both people suffering from an alcohol use disorder, but despite the fact that wine has a higher ABV level, and thus means that the tolerance and withdrawal effects have the potential to be more harmful, society is not inclined to take it as seriously, because wine is more commonly marketed towards women.

What does this have to do with porn?

Well. Men watch porn. Women read smut.

If we're going by our criteria above, differences could be argued that porn is worse because it's the brutalization of real women, and creating unrealistic expectations of real-life parents might actually be a good thing for heterosexual women because real-life men are trash.

I'm not totally disagreeing with anything, but I do have counterpoints.

Hentai, Mangas and Manhwas exist. And often depict children or childlike mannerisms along with casual rape, beastality and incest. Which are often written off by avid consumers as just “apart of the culture” when you and I know both know there’s an obvious problem here. Just because it’s not real, doesn’t mean it has less of an impact. Words have power. If they didn’t then there wouldn’t be a very long list of banned books on Wikipedia.

Unrealistic expectations of male partners in cis women comes from an established romantic component that accompanies smut in books. There's a difference between a book that has an attempt at fleshed-out characters, plot, settings, and general narratives, themes and lessons that are being conveyed to the reader that just happens to include smut to achieve its goals, and a book that uses characters, settings and certain narratives as gateways to plot of gratuitous smut.

A booktook example of the former would be It Ends With Us (don’t mistake this as me liking Colleen Hoover, I read Verity and that was 20 hours of my life I’m never getting back), it’s a book that has lots of smut, but it’s also a story about a women’s experience with domestic violence.

An example of the latter, would be like ….. anything Penelope Douglas writes, but because if I have to see it so do you, we’re gonna talk about the more egregious example, which is Credence, where the entire plot is a girl going on vacation with her “step” uncles and cousins where she has sex with all of them.

You know what else commonly has videos of step family in sexual situations? Pornhub.

Similar to porn addiction in boys, it also starts very young. Most grown 18-25 year old cis women who read dark romance now, were people who had unsupervised and uncontrolled access to the internet as children, where fandom spaces are prevalent, and a large part of them involve written smut (of both real and fake people) under names called “imagines”. And if you didn’t have to ask your parents to visit Disney Channel dot com, what was stopping you from accessing Harry Styles imagines on Tumblr? Tumblr would lead to fan-fiction dot net and then to Wattpad and then to AO3 and then to TikTok where the carefully curated algorithm would drop dark romance recommendations into your lap, some of which were written by those same big authors who were on fanfiction dot net and Wattpad.

Fandom hasn’t went anywhere. The presence of children on social media also hasn’t went anywhere. Children as young as 10 were getting into anti-aging products and wearing makeup to school, because that’s what they saw all the adults do. The books that they’re exposed to, aren’t any different.

When Fifty Shades of Grey was everywhere around 2012-2013 ish. it was one of the rare times that my mother, unprompted, put her foot down and told me not to even think about asking for it.

I didn’t wanna read it, nor had I gave her any indication that I did. But it wasn’t because of what she told me.

First of all she was too late. By that point, I had already learned what the clit was from reading twilight fan-fiction and confused Google searches.

Fifty Shades of Grey was originally a twilight fanfiction.

By the time she got to me, I had already saved and read a PDF of Masters Of The Universe.

And it’s not like I hid it very well. But she didn’t pay attention, so I got away with it.

I know adult and child literacy rates are kinda in the dumps right now, and it might be a blessing to see your daughter, niece, little sister or cousin with a book in her hand, but it doesn’t mean you let them stick their heads in every book.

Cuz not every dark romance book looks obvious like this

Some of them look like this

Or this

Or worse, like this:

I also wanna make another thing clear, liking sex and sex scenes is not the problem here. Repression of normal and healthy sexual activity, including masturbation is bad. Sure it gets a little shocking when I’m watching a Netflix show and it goes from characters staring at each other to bare balls in my face, but I get why it’s there. Sex has come to be an important part of romantic bonds in modern society for better or worse, and what is fiction if not a reflection of the times?

As a writer myself, I’ll be the first to say that sex can actually be a great device to showcase a character’s personality, motives, and development/progression, but the dark romance books that commonly blow up on TikTok aren’t interested in that, because the plot would take away from the sex. And that’s the problem, the intense tunnel vision fixation on dominant men having sex with submissive women. What happens in the plot doesn’t matter if it’s not acting as kind of foreplay to the actual event.

Dark romance as a whole isn’t even the problem here. Don’t get wrong, most of these books are bad, but 1. That’s a subjective opinion and not what we’re talking about here. 2. As a twilight kid, you can take it from me when I say one bad book a day keeps the pretentiousness away. A lot of the targeted hatred for these books is indeed fueled by misogyny however, this doesn’t change the fact that there is still microagressive to blatant abuse, racism, etc etc perpetuated in these books and YES it can distort your reality, if you consume them frequently enough.

Everybody thought 2000s fashion was ugly for the longest time. And now look. Chunky platforms, juicy couture sweatsuits, Low-Rise pants and heroin chic are all back like they never left.

Also, everyone has guilty pleasures. After Fifty Shades of Grey hit the market, most cis women readers will admit to indulging in a crappy little mafia or billionaire romance book. Those books with Fabio and a majestic looking stallion on the cover that older women were reading also contained graphic sexual content. Erotica and smut are definitely not new things. Most people turn to porn when they’re horny enough to do something about it. It doesn’t make them addicts.

However, comma, semicolon:

When this fixation begins to spiral to the point of asking in every book recommendation “does this have spice?” Or the inclusion of a “🌶️ level” on certain book recommendation that aren’t even dark romance means there’s a problem.

If the chase of your next dark romance book leads you to begin chasing stories that involve graphic torture, rape, and increasingly unrealistic depictions of what healthy, safe, sane and consensual sex looks like… what makes it any different from a boy who started off watching “girls kissing” on pornhub but ultimately found his way into types of porn that depict torture more than pleasure?