#don’t know how active I’m gonna be
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Hey, sorry I haven’t posted anything in a bit.
The rest of my trip to Kitikami was kinda hectic and I kinda forgot to post anything. (And tbh I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to post anything) Then after I got back from my trip to Kitikami I was really busy with class work and I didn’t really think about it.
And well to be honest I also kinda needed a break. The rest of the field trip was a lot, like A LOT.
Like a lot of fun stuff happened (like I ran into a cousin of mine) but also some bad stuff as well
Mostly I don’t think Kiri wants to be my friend anymore
#rotumblr#pokeblogging#pokemon irl#pokémon irl#rotomblr#pkmn irl#paldea#naranja academy#kitikami#Perrin#Kiran#ooc:#OK I kind of stopped posting on this blog for a while#oops#I initially took a short break from Tumblr and then when I got back to Tumblr I kind of forgot to go back to this blog#So I’m kind of tying into the lore of this blog#Azure also took a break from posting#However their break was only a couple weeks compared to my ~ five months#don’t know how active I’m gonna be#But I’m going to try to finish this Before the next legends game#And that’s a long way away#So unless I take another five month break or two it should be easy
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i am actually quite depressed that i won’t be able to edit anymore after the ByteDance ban. bear with me while i ramble because the impending doom is about to kill me.
it has been my proudest accomplishment and favorite pastime to create content and share this movie with so many people. bringing in new faces and introducing people to this film who may not have EVER crossed paths with it if not for a platform like tiktok and the popularity of video editing. but now that’s all going away and there’s no substitute for it.
i can’t edit on any other software because A.) i only taught myself to use CapCut when i set out to “market” this film in the first place, and B.) because i can’t afford a better software or even a laptop to edit on. it would be useless anyway because there aren’t any other sites or apps that are as encouraging of editing and push out that kind of material.
it wasn’t ever really just a hobby, yk? i was absolutely determined to share Like Minds with however many people i could and i maintained that for over two years now, even at times when the best clips i could find were from old Youtube videos/trailers. And although i succeeded to an extent, it is incredibly disappointing to me that my endeavor will be cut short before i’m even slightly ready for it to end.
the days of explaining time and time again all the possibilities of the ending and receiving horrified but excited DMs from people who watched the film are over. i won’t ever be tagged in a new LM editor’s videos by a fellow fandom member who got to them before i did and then hold a long and heartfelt conversation with them while they gush about their enthusiasm for it. Even on this site, i won’t be able watch a few new profiles pop up after one of my videos do well and i direct them here for analysis content and just an overall fandom community that tiktok doesn’t seem to really have the algorithm to support.
i’m obviously not taking all the credit for making this film more relevant, that is not my intention or what i’m trying to say at all, i’ve had the help of a few other amazing editors that i will also be missing on tiktok specifically and also our lovely fandom residents on various social medias such as twitter, instagram and the hellsite that is Tumblr.com. but even just the dozens of DMs i receive monthly and the literal 10k+ comments weekly are so so important to me and are significant enough to have me distraught over their oncoming absence.
I’ve been so happy and honestly privileged to have taken on such a task and kept up on it for as long as i have, but i really don’t know how i’m gonna cope once i am no longer able to do it. because i have no intention of just “moving on” and forgetting this film haha.
i guess you guys are just gonna be stuck with me and have to power through how insufferable i’m gonna be now that i don’t have another place to express it.
damn this is SO SAD. i’m losing all the hard work and the profile i’ve built since i was fifteen. i hate it here.
#there’s a few upsides. but i think i just want to take some time and be negative and theatric over this#i’m also a bit mortified that it’s gonna be on its way to become lost media after this.#not that i don’t have faith in the few of us that are still here to keep it alive. but after sandman s2 how is anyone gonna hear of it if-#-they don’t like actively seek it out or know someone who’s familiar with it?#i know there’s other methods. but they just seem less effective (imo) and that makes my current situation feel hopeless#there were so many edits i was gonna make and things i wanted to share and PEOPLE i wanted to meet before this was all over#i’ve spent so much time being dedicated to this movie. it’s like my own personal burning of the library of alexandria#i will be inconsolable after the 19th so let this be a preview for all of you#like minds#murderous intent#like minds 2006#like minds fandom#editing#tiktok
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*takes you by the hand as gently as I can*
You can dislike Maya without turning her into a one dimensional villain that serves no purpose to the story.
You can dislike Maya without disparaging the story and message the show is trying to convey.
You can hate Maya without moralizing your hatred. You can just hate her. It’s okay.
#i hear the sunspot#hidamari ga kikoeru#im just so tired of people shitting all over maya because she’s not perfect#she is complex and nuanced and maybe if given more than. oh i don’t know. one episode? we will see the complexity and nuance that is there#we had 7 episodes to learn about how kohei handles losing his hearing and he was offered grace#and i need you all to understand that i also don’t fucking like maya#she is an unlikable character#but thats kind of the point#but everyone’s reaction to her just proves her incorrect point about how people treat others with disabilities#yall can just say she’s unlikable without saying she’s pointless and why is she even friends with kohei anyway#yall can just say she’s unlikable without questioning the entire show#i’m gonna need everyone to take a minute and just think. think about how young she is. think about what she is actively losing#think about WHY she is behaving this way before jumping down her throat because she isn’t the perfect disabled person#and genuinely i want you to sit with my next question for a minute. just sit with it. i don’t need to know your answer#whether its yes or no that is between you and yourself#but i need you guys to think#would you hate maya this much if her gender was swapped?#would you have the same issues with how she’s acting if she were a boy instead of a girl?#again i don’t need to know your answer#but if you think your answer might be no…i want you to examine that#anyway that’s all. be careful how you approach me in talking about this btw. cause i have had it with the treatment of maya#i don’t want to defend characters i don’t like but some of the takes i’ve seen are just plain wild y’all
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Psalm 73:26, Psalm 46:10
hey uh i’ve been extremely unwell recently, was at the hospital for 12 hours last wednesday. um i’m genuinely worried about about my body being able to withstand the what is dubbed the “escalation of my symptoms”. so i just want to thank everyone for making this tumblr experience the best yet. thank you for treating me like a person and for your encouraging words.
for all the bodies in the pit for the knees on the floor and in bush that sides rural highways for all those in the lake those frozen by winter or frozen by freezer for those whom cling to the rock the ones burnt and those who never stopped screaming
i love you and it was never your fault. god loves you and it is the free will of man, our greed that has allowed for great evils to brand our backs and infect our lungs. you are meant to be here in this moment so please live. i hope life unfurls like a rose for you. it takes time. don’t let your anxiety or shyness bar you from opportunities. find the divine in simple pleasures.
#evidence of life#i know this is quite glib but don’t know what’s next and if my physical body can make it there#sucks the purpose of this blog my project sea legs never got to be in its live / active phase#anyways again this is not goodbye this is i genuinely don’t know if i’m waking up tomorrow this isn’t 2 scare anyone this is 2 say thank you#what’s a chill way to say that i didn’t go into detail about my illnesses n kinda fading fast like it’s not even ~me it’s my body giving out#this isn’t a suicide letter or my final words or something silly like that it’s that medically and physically idk what’s next#if you pray i’d appreciate prayer or if you’re spiritual in any way or keep people in your thoughts in a special way pls do so for me#it’s the end of our holiday but it isn’t goodbye !!#mwah#yeah i really don’t know how to write this without it sounding like fluttershy i think i’m gonna die soon sorryyyyy
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I made a lmk oc
#they’re supposed to be some sort of experiment to see if people could recreate Sun Wukongs stone egg. the goal was to make a more controlled#and tame version using carved wood and cultivation. but eventually they got worried about it becoming too powerful and scrapped it#eventually they come to life and live in the abandoned temple they were built in#their bottom half is made of wood because when they came to life their creator/s left them unfinished when they scrapped the project#they had to carve the rest of their body out of hunger and frustration because they couldn’t eat or move much by crawling on their top half#this is also why they spite their creators and hate irresponsible creation. because of abandonment issues and feeling like they have no#purpose or direction in life#their power is also very limited to due being man made since they were originally a wood carving#meo gave me the idea but one reason would be because they’re half finished. the sculpture was still half stump so it was completely untouche#that half can channel power in its raw form but the other half cannot once it’s been carved by man#so technically they could have the same level or potential for power as the stone but that was dampened#the other thing is how they were created to be a duplicate or recreation of a stone monkey and a celestial looked at that and was like#‘we’re not doing that again’ LMAO#i think the case of them carving their own legs doesn’t take away their power though. that balance was made#before they came to life so carving the legs or not can’t affect it anymore. like making a cake and slicing it#their energy levels are also naturally low because of that so their movements are sluggish and they aren’t very active overall#constantly lying in the sun to charge their batteries and get some stuff done. just like me fr#I actually don’t know what I’m gonna do with this character besides Put Them In Situations with other ppls ocs.. so if you have#a lmk oc you have been warned /lh /j#I wanna make some backstory art for them though.. maybe even the animatic treatment if I can get through dear wormwood which is 25#SECONDS OUT OF 3 MIN BTW#doodles#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk oc#monkie kid oc#myart#my art#xin ya
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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how do i turn qantoine’s spontaneous marriage proposal to qetoiles into evidence of his early-days fear of qfrench drifing away and keeping secrets from one another
#the conversation takes place in antoine’s vod: L’ANNIVERSAIRE DE TALLULAH at 41 mins ish#like . okay . its such a fucking crazy moment to me that still lives in my head bc it’s a a joke . but it’s also not#he asks etoiles directly after spiderbit wedding . ‘don’t you want to get married?’#after it gets mentioned*#etoiles turns him down bc he ‘doesn’t have time to fuck [he] needs to kill everyone’#and antoine says ‘well but— just a marriage’ like it’s the act itself that is the most important to him not anything that could come with it#the confirmation of partnership . of having someone to rely on . something that feels to him maybe more certain and solid than the#friendships antoine had at that point . like if he felt things were slipping and he was being left behind he wanted the certainty of#something like a marriage that is traditionally considered More important and certain .#and i think the end of their conversation is notable in how antoine brings up the notion of betrayal — he getting betrayed by others and how#he’s fed up with it . after etoiles says no to the marriage (though specifying that he’s gonna think about it) antoine brings the whole#betrayal thing up after a pause . he doesn’t necessarily consider etoiles as having betrayed him but it’s that lack of certainty#certainty that etoiles has refused to give him that makes him start to open up about how he’s tired of people promising him things (or#seeming to promise him things) only to leave him out and in the dark . and there’s an insecurity there that really shines if you take this#moment into consideration with the Larger Shifting his character is going through .#like tldr ; qantoine has begun to realise that his friends are starting to form deeper bonds with other people and thus keep secrets with#them which to him means leaving him behind . taking notice of this he brings this up to his friends in . not exactly direct ways . he#talks about how he doesn’t like secret keeping but doesn’t seem to push much further and he also tries to remedy the issue#of feeling left behind by doing shit as discussed above ^ however on account of the InHuman i’m not sure he understands what he’s doing very#well . and as we know antoine doesn’t make much progress and ends up retreating into himself and beginning to keep his own secrets . to do#his own shady shit . to work in the shadows and not be honest with any of his friends either . to hold them at arm’s length despite how much#he still cares . the only person he puts his full trust into anymore is pomme . not ayp who he deems too underhanded . not bagz who he sees#as having started the whole ‘secret keeping’ stuff in the first place . and not etoiles who’s actively going down a path with the codes and#resistance that he cannot follow#that was NOT a short tldr . why the fuck am i writing dissertation length tags about MINECRAFT BLOCKS#god whatever who cares i get joy out of this thats what matters#anw if you read this far holy shit ur insane . thank you#i am going to bed now godbless !#jay rambles#qfrench.posting
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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Unpopular opinion but I want wrecker to have an arc/and or get seriously wounded. Because like almost every other bad batcher had episodes revolving around them but wrecker. He’s just the side character, but like just imagine he actually gets an episode solely focused on him. And I know last episode he kind of got to shine with Hunter and fennec but like I need more wrecker content people…
#star wars#the bad batch#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo#tbb hunter#tbb omega#please let him get more screen time#I love my boy but he gets nothing#I want angst pain tears#the whole nine yards#gimme#if there is such an episode that I’m forgetting let me know!#I love wrecker so he gets to be put through the wringer#like I know realistically if someone’s gonna die or get seriously hurt it’s gonna be Hunter#but I can dream#shhhh we don’t talk about how his chip activated first#I need more than that tiny little episode
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i think when i’m like 30 i either gotta be an extremely rich architect in a foreign country or i’m killing myself no in between i’m sorry
#also you know what i’ve been thinking. No one is going to find this interesting except grace#but it was my second profection year right and i really embodied it#and i’m gonna be 26 soon so third one is activated and it literally sounds so boring like zzzzz i’m ignoring that shiet. And i’m also#thinking how jeonghan will go through his saturn return or is probably already going through it… maybe not he just turned 29 but yeah.#anyway what else yeah i think i just need to drown myself in work and not enjoy life like truly 6H of me but be a machine i was born to be#and i will get lots of money + get satisfaction from work + feel less suicidal#but it’s HARD when all i’ve been thinking is whatever something for therapy but i don’t go so tumblr will hear about it#i think i need to have some off time from tumblr tbh#i did put shit in queue okay whatever this makes no sense it should probably be deleted or not even posted#tt
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There’s not enough discourse in the paranormal fandom about those of us who are such space cases that we could walk into the kitchen and find all the chairs stacked on top of the table in a manner that defies physics and either a) not notice, or b) notice and think, huh, I don’t remember doing that - maybe it was the cat?
#that poll reminded me of this#like good luck trying to haunt me with strange noises and shadows and so on#a shadow person could do the Macarena in my living room at 3am and it would just#blend into the background noise of golden girls on the tv#I have long wanted to write a story where a person lives in a haunted house#but they are adhd and also middle aged and tired#so they don’t notice the haunting#and the ghost who had been haunting this place for like hundreds of years#just does not know how to deal with this so they get really invested in the haunting#and the paranormal activity just steadily escalates to the point of absurdity#the main character will walk into a room and see shit like#‘get out!!’ scribbled on the walls in blood and be like#‘… uh. the fuck?’#and the ghost will be like ‘FINALLY JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION FOR A YEAR AND A HALF’#and the narrator will be like ‘…. so are you gonna clean this or? bc I’m not losing my security deposit’#and the ghost is like ‘oh yeah sorry about that - the economy amirite?’#and the narrator is like ‘you have no idea’ and the ghost is like ‘yeah I do I’ve seen how you live’#anyway#this has been a quality post#paranormal#the Charlotte Lennox diaries#adhd artichoke
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when the disability is actually disabling and not just funny jokes
#personal#i haven’t been keeping up with applying for jobs#because i can’t do too many major activities at once#and since i had an internship my brain chose ‘internship and video games’ as the things#now i’m sweating in my parents’ house about to drop at least a week of time on the new ffxiv expansion while my mom has a panic attack#because she thinks i’m having a repeat of my 2018-2019 postgrad depressive episode and won’t apply for jobs#when actually i just couldn’t mentally handle doing three things at once instead of two#i don’t know how to explain this to her without it sounding like an insane lie#like i AM gonna do it. it’s just that i’m looking at my several hundred unread emails and shaking like an abused dog#i need to get out of here but that requires doing the apps and to do the apps i need to finish dawntrail and to finish dawntrail i need to#get her off my back by showing her progress and to do that i need to work on apps#i’m gonna throw up i hate it here (my brain)
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🕯️ please no sleep paralysis tonight 🕯️
#bitches be deteriorating!!! it’s me i’m bitches#when my friends left just now i had this harrowing haunting feeling of the paranoid fear of Not Being Alone#i’m probably really just tired from today and from not sleeping last night and spending the day in absolute panic mode so#it’s all chill we chill we don’t take our beta blockers tonight so our body can feel its pulse lmao#anyway i love how strong i am just pushing through but also telling my friends about the current state to give them the chance of being#gentle with me and also take care of me. and they dooo.#anyway i’m gonna pass out soon and will probably have to activate the ‘taking care of myself as though i were a little child’ mode and#honestly?? that’s very okay and fine and valid. i know the drill i know i will live and make it out of this alive
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Imagine being so pretentious that you think an entire country of people are stupid based on the propaganda you’ve been fed about them for decades that their government has pushed out about them bc they fucking hate their citizens, meanwhile the reason you’re calling them stupid in the first place is bc you think they’re the ones believing the propaganda.
#I can make post after post about this but ik not going to#I need a rant so I’m doing it here#I will never claim to love America ( btw we call it that bc it’s in the name not any other reason. it’s literally that simple#and we’re not the only country who does that)#I will never claim to love the American government or any of it leaders or the military or anything#I care about the people bc I fucking live here and I know we’re not all like THAT#but it’s so fucking annoying to be an ethnic person living here and to have people who don’t lump you in with a bunch of bigots#just bc they don’t understand the social systems built here that actively oppress you as well as people around the world#I’m not claiming to have it worse than anyone on the planet#I’m fully aware of what’s happening#but how can people claim to have empathy EXCEPT when it comes to Americans#or claim to care about human rights EXCEPT when it comes to Americans??#I know this country is shit I fucking hate it here and I know probably no one is gonna read this and idc#but for the love of all things unholy please realize that youve been duped almost as much as we have ABOUT US#what’s also crazy is that this conversation has been had a million times on tiktok#but some people still believe it’s just an app for dancing kids so they don’t bother to hear what anyone has to say#as if there aren’t also academics on there who genuinely try to educate#snit there are clearly brain dead people on all platforms including tumblr so#I just needed to put this somewhere#I get so sick of dealing with racist and xenophobes in this country#and then having to deal with people outside of it with the same talking points as if that’s not a problem too#end rant lol#mj thoughts#fuck trump and fuck you too#**but not snit. what even is that??#I’ll continue doing what I do which is finding empathy no matter where someone is from cause you know that’s what empathy is supposed to be
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when I was in high school there was a tendency whenever there was an attractive boy to simply fan over him. in a way that talked over everything he might say for himself and created a narrative that completely ignored, the fact in some cases, that he was really struggling—or if he was struggling, to pin all the blame on the girl he’s dating and completely ignore the thousands of other factors (no it can’t be mental illness or unaccommodated disability or systemic abuse or exploitation and if he is in an abusive relationship we won’t ever consider the factors that put him at risk for that)
and I’m not saying this fandom is like that. I get the need for privacy around some things and how in public conversations sometimes it’s a lot more respectful to stick to the positives (everyone who does that, I admire you) or even the struggles that are talked about publicly, show respect by not reading too far into them. there’s a time and place for that. but sometimes I feel like our only options are shitty and ableist gossip or totally ignoring the systemic and structural issues we know exist in something like the music industry until someone dies and then we’re looking for someone to blame. friends, there is a point where the respectful thing is to listen to what someone says and come together to make things better. and you can learn how to have that conversation respectfully. please do
#forever haunted by ‘I wasn’t always a cynic it’s just I’ve been bought and sold’#and actually this highlights my whole frustration with the conversation around mental health just about anywhere#like you tell people something sucks and they’re completely unwilling to even try to challenge the status quo in order to help#and idk. I tell myself they’re going to be fine. they’re so resilient. I’m doing all I can; I’m not on the ground there I’m at a distance#but at the same time is it not bittersweet sometimes to enjoy music born from trauma? to be at a live show knowing they shouldn’t be?#to me these stories have to be told for the reason that yes so people relate but also so we can do better for the next generation#anyway I’ve gotten deep into inxs lore lately and I can say. yes it is better for 5sos simply for the fact men can talk about emotions#but that didn’t come without a MASSIVE fight don’t you ever forget that. it’s gonna still carry shame. they’re choosing to fight that#but the sad songs we got as a result?? idk they’re the thing that turned me parasocial because there’s rarely absolutely nothing you can do#like if we’re ever gonna give them a gold star for talking about this stuff as early as sgfg til today we gotta ask ourselves to look at#larger systemic issues and stuff that we ARE a part of and while we can’t be there for them when they have a bad day. we can work on#anyway the high school example still haunts me. still drives some of what I do now. we were just kids. but most of us here aren’t anymore#and the newbrokenscene is grown up now and tbh the status quo should be TERRIFIED#so idk. at the very least sign the petition for liams law. advocate for better. address local issues of injustice and addiction etc#which in some ways I’m lucky that I get to do that in sydney so it feels connected but this is just as valuable anywhere#tbh the 2010s era of bubblegum pop and ignoring all our problems is over. you’re punk now. even katy released chained to the rhythm#thinking about the nfp I’m trying to start and how to start small. for disadvantaged kids maybe? intervening via urban design?#(don’t you ever forget 5sos WERE disadvantaged kids not even 20 years ago. that shit sticks to you no matter how much you achieve)#albums and activism#anyway it fascinates me to see how differently people do this kind of thing to each band member. like the vibe is different but still track#for this whole phenomenon like whether they’re seen as pretty or strong or cute or smth else that becomes the main thing not their words#and I say that but tumblr is pretty good overall. I just wish sometimes we could have a more active conversation before any tragedy#so gosh I’m ranting so much but PLEASE talk about this with me. I notice far too much and I can’t say any of it publicly#so occasionally I come out with a rant like this
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aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#brain is being weird again. i miss the person i thought you were before i found out how truly truly horrible you are#but that person doesn’t exist! i never met them because they aren’t real!#i just wanna meet my person yk. like yeah i don’t want to be in a relationship bc that sounds exhausting but also#it wouldn’t be exhausting if it was my person. i wanna know someone. i wanna learn how someone works.#i wanna take care of someone and be taken care of without asking.#and like the thing is is i definitely have my people in my friends like i already have them in this way#and i appreciate that so so much which is why i won’t settle for anything less ever again and why i’m no longer actively seeking something#but i really do just miss clicking that well with someone right off the bat. and i know most of it was probably 1) me being lied to and 2)#me trying to make myself palatable for him#but i haven’t felt that truly blatantly appreciated in a long time#i just wish that fate would work a little faster at putting my person into my lap is all#i’m not even gonna say that it doesn’t have to be The Person i’ll end up with and can just be One Of the people along the way#because now that feels like settling and if the universe doesn’t want me to settle then i won’t#and i’m not trying to be impatient because i know that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to and i can’t force anything#i just want it to happen so badly. i want to have my cute love story. i want to have it last longer than a week. in a good way this time.#and i know i vent a lot about this in my tags but this time feels different#i just want what is supposed to happen to happen. and i want to feel comforted knowing that it will.#i just need a sign that it’s gonna happen someday so i don’t lose my mind waiting for it#that i’m in the right place. and i’m right where i’m supposed to be#idk. i just know i don’t deserve to feel alone anymore. especially when i know i’m not.#this feels like a prayer. maybe it is. whatever.#mari is irrelevant
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