#don’t ask questions IT HAD TO BE DONE
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I feel like we as a society got over this WAY too quickly…
#currently downloading this entire rg semi onto my computer#don’t ask questions IT HAD TO BE DONE#tennis#jannik sinner#carlos alcaraz#sincaraz#roland garros
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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Looks like that video is about a month & a half after The Trade and trevors broken ankle 😣
re: this video… anon 😭 i had suspicions but it is so much worse to have them confirmed that really was like. trevor’s first Public Appearance without jamie AND post-broken ankle which is traumatic in and of itself no wonder every beat reporter was like ‘oh yeah trevor’s just devastated’
wouldn’t you be miserable too if your best friend just got traded and your body betrayed you and what if it was maybe all your fault!!!
#bestie thank you so much for fact-checking me 🙏🙏🥰🥰 i love when y’all come in my inbox & answer the questions i yell into the void of my tag#we are Suffering about trevor TOGETHER in this house. if i scrolled all the way to the bottom of my drafts i think i could find even more#heartbreaking content from before The Trade but we don’t need to suffer that much otherwise the penguin cup of tea is really irish coffee#confirms ALL of my theories about miserable trevor leaning into mason for comfort because in some universes that’s THEIR boyfriend who left#liv in the replies#trevor zegras#mason mctavish#need to go lay on the floor about this one folks. do you think trevor said he would only do it if mason came if he could sit next to mason#right at the end where people were rushing out not stopping to talk tired by the end of the line and not even thinking just to guarantee he#wouldn’t get asked anything because he still has a hard time believing it’s real he keeps thinking jamie’ll be there especially w/his ankle#i’m sure he doesn’t have a great time with stairs so he probably will nap on the couch sometimes and that moment right when he first wakes#up to the bang of the door and he doesn’t quite know he’s awake yet and he thinks it’s jamie coming in? heartbreaker right there bud. sorry#ALSO because I can’t say it and leave it alone I almost put that last bit strictly in the tags but like. there’s gotta be some part of#trevor that knows it’s nothing to do with him but still naïvely believes that if he’d maybe been there if he hadn’t been injured things#could have worked out differently if he’d been there and it’s his fault his ankle broke and do you remember all the interviews jamie gave#about how you never think you’ll be traded and how strange it is to be moving and now i need you to take that naïveté times 1000 for trevor#who of course he never even pictures jamie leaving they were building the core together!!! why would they ever get rid of him!! and if only#trevor had been there to show how important jamie was. what would he have done? literally nothing but that does not stop the emotional guil#from enveloping trevor like a rain cloud and making him sit in mason’s apartment with ice cream bowl in hand. holistic treatment l
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I think I might’ve teared my tutor a new one…
#oh let me tell you I let all out#like crying snot falling screeching#I questioned everything and let me tell you I was not surprised when I asked if they had actually researched anythinh about the topic#and she said no#that out job is to do the research so they can ’’learn’’ and use it as a material for future lessons#and I’m like sure.. I can do research no problem#but have you considered the ethical AND ecologial side of this?#and she literally goes ’’tbh no.. I have not even thought about that’’#jesus take the wheel (actually take the whole fucking car)#plus she had no idea why I’m the only one in a group of just exchange students#and don’t get me wrong they’re very sweet people#but I’m not a project manager nor a babysitter#one of them has studied english for ONE YEAR#and she’s strugggglingggg#so we got to the point where instead of fucking around with fucking crypto wallets and NTF’s we could study the rise fall and darkside of#metaverse cryptocurrencies etc#and don’t ask me what the innovation is because the tutor had no idea either but…#I rather write a thesis about this than fuck around with blockchains bitcoins and whatever the shit#thank FUCK I’m seeing Kuumaa and Käärijä this weekend#might’ve actually done something really stupid if I didn’t have something else to think about#irl shenanigans
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i hate when people ask me stupid questions 😭 use your common sense bro, PLEASE.
“hey, are you using that?” as i’m using that. “are you busy?” after i’ve texted them that i am, indeed, busy. “is this yours?” as i’m holding onto it. “are you done eating?” as i’m clearly not done eating because i’m still chewing, spoon in hand, and rice on the plate.
#I CANNOT PLEASE#YA ALLAH GIVE ME STRENGTH#I HATEEEEEEE STUPID QUESRIONS THEY PISS ME OFF#idk if it’s because of what#because i have common sense#or because#idk#but incompetence and lack of understanding is gonna ruin society#IT ALREADY IS#WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME IF IM DRINKING THAY IF I CLEARLY AM?????#am i missing something here#like is this just me#do people do this and accept this#am i the issue#i don’t think i am tbh#today. a kid (18) asked me if i was done with my dessert. take in. i was NOT. i had only taken two bites and was holding the plate#BEFORE I COULD RESPOND HE GRABBED AND TOSSED IT????#HUH????#HE DID THE DAME THING TO MU MOM AND HER CHAI#MY BROTHERS ALWAHS ASK ME THE STUPIDEST QUESTIONS#YALL WILL NOT SURVIVE IN THE REAL WORLD!!!#anyways#got heated there for a sec damn#enha!me
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😅
#Feeling down for no real reason#So this is me reminding myself that God had given me a day!#He answered my prayers that some stuff would go well#And I got to hang out with people which was fun#And I have lots of energy unexpectedly so I’m going to go to my brother’s sports game#I asked for prayer about that earlier today actually#Cause it’s rough choosing whether or not to go when I really need to be working on grad school things#But hey God is good and I can both go and work a little today!#anyway the sad thing is probably mainly my hormones#But also one of my new friends asked for prayer about being really sad but she wasn’t able or willing to talk more about it?#So I’m sad for her but also worried#And obviously the solution is just to pray for her so I’m gonna do that and trust it to God#And the other thing (which feels too silly to share) is that lowkey one of my other new friends hinted that my crush might like someone?#She wasn’t hinting to me but to someone else while I was also in the room but only sort of part of the conversation#Plus she doesn’t know I like him#And like I don’t t have a serious crush on him or know him super well even#But still :(#It’s sad girl hours#Cause I do kinda like him and I have been interested for a while#How do I feel peaceful about being single?#And other questions I’m waiting for God to answer for me lol#Anyway!!!#I’m going to read a little of my book on the trinity and relax now that my real job is done#And then I’m going to do grad school stuff#And then I’m gonna go to my brother’s game#And then I’m going to go home
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.
#I hate stupid arguments so much#like. one of the people I work with was asking whether McDonald’s or Taco Bell is masculine or feminine#I don’t. understand. the basis of the question.#this devolved into them using art history logic to say that French fries are phallic#(columns are phallic and in their mind therefore every straight line is phallic. I don’t. understand. but sure.)#and they just kept pushing about it like????#I’m sorry I don’t agree with you????#I think it’s a dumb question but I was trying so hard to not say that????#and then they (jokingly) (I think) called me a loser for not getting it#I KNOW this was all a very silly thing but#I fucking hate that#the whole ‘let’s ask a stupid question to argue for the sake of arguing and get mad when the other person doesn’t immediately agree’#I know being upset about it is ridiculous but I just. can’t.#I had to shut it down and just say that I was done talking about it#and now apparently I’m no fun#I just. don’t want to argue.#just in general. I don’t understand the need to create conflict over something stupid.#ugh
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shoutout to my girl eno’s nightmare bc. Hi! What and/or Who the fuck was that ! its gonna haunt her and i for awhile !
#my art#its a shitpost batman#Pirate Campaign#Enososin Folook#rea rambles in the tags#OK SO LIKE IT KINDA TOLD ME WHAT/WHO IT WAS BUT IT ALSO DIDNT? YKNOW? LIKE—#it started off with normal dream stuff and then devolving into fear/nightmare stuff and ‘wtf is this who are you why are you in my house’#but then the whole argument shifted when the thing posing as Rollo— bc it WAS an outside force— said “i am his rage i am his guilt’’ etc.#and i could FUCKING FEEL ENO IN MY HEAD RELAX SO GODDAMN FAST. STILL ANXIOUS BUT JUST. ‘Oh. Is that all?’#‘Well what i’m about to do is still incredibly stupid but i feel much better about how it will go now’#AND IT WORKED. WONDER OF WONDERS. AND THEN FUCKING AFTER THAT WHEN I WAS HUGGING THEM.#the ‘creature’ for lack of better terms EXPLICITLY said “of course you are one who can calm my rage— you who was raised by the one#whom i love the most’’ and HI. HELLO. THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS I COULD TAKE THIS SENTENCE ENTITY-OF-INDETERMINATE-EVERYTHING.#ROLLO. DAD MAN. BELOVED GOLIATH WHOM I TRUST WITH MY LIFE AND THAT SCARES ME.#I HAVE QUESTIONS. SEVERAL ACTUALLY. WILL WE EVER ASK THEM? PROBABLY NOT!!!!!!!!#BUT IM *SO* CURIOUS. WAIT A MINUTE. WHO *ARE* YOU??????????#final shoutout to the fact that both times I have tried/thought about casting a vaguely aggressive spell. to someone who was#threatening me/eno. it has not *worked!!* and I have had to use my THINK THONKING BRAIN AND DO A STUPID MOVE!!!!!#aka roleplay and use way too much compassion. *I WONDER WHY SHE'S SO INSISTENT THAT IT'LL WORK STRANGE ENTITY I CALMED BY HUGGING*#they were also INCREDIBLY insistent that I don’t die. Peacefully/trying to help someone that is. Full of rage like a supernova ?#only acceptable way to go apparently /lh /very aff (<- already attached to this strange person I DONT KNOW)#ok ok im done /jov#shut UP rea#rea's trash
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it’s ✨okay✨, right~?
#s o rry rant incoming im just. re a l l y crabby after working for 8.5 consecutive hours with no proper break okie~? </3#ayEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE ADMINS AT MY WORKPLACE CAN GO K I C K R O C K S#their time management is somehow worse than mine and i suck balls at it?????? SJCFJFFHDHHD I THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE BETTER AT YOUR JOBS MANSSSSS#the!!!!! admins!!!!!! sent in over a hundred samples without any info sheets and stuff so the morning shift literally couldn’t get started!!#doing the morning shift’s part of the job was. annoying. to say the least. especially when said work could’ve actually been done (ʘ‿ʘ)#dammit workplace admins you had one job </3#and n o it’s not to send in the sample info sheet things at the same time as the pm shift’s reporting time </3#and as if that weren’t enough.. the!!!! admin!!!! refused to go home in the evening?????? and sent in like 80 samples at like 8.30pm??????#and that’s not counting the samples that were yeeted in at 5pm </3 truly sadge#and o f c o u r s e we haaaaaaaad to be short-staffed today lmfao. the two workstations life compels me to lay down on the floor and c r y .#but bc i’m just ✨too great✨ at my job you see (lies) i finished my stuff way too early and had to do other extra tests too s o b s#and that included a test that i don’t fully know how to do (sadge)#well. at least that test involved the use of a microscope. thank you past me for attaining magic skills with microscope zooming and stuff#seriously. thank you past me. i can almost forgive you for choosing to enter the f r e a k i n g ✨s c i e n c e✨ industry of all things#but hmmmmmmm im amazed that i actually managed to finish everything across those two stations. am i too good at my job or ✨w h a t✨ (lies)#but man. m a n. none of this even gets into my secret beef with the data entry admin.#she can’t spell for her life. it s e r i o u s l y grinds my gears whenever i see her spell the word ‘content’ as ‘contant’.#but no. her spelling got on a w h o l e new level of questionable when she spelled the word ‘crackle’ as… ‘cracker’. like??? how????????#and she told me to ask the senior analysts if it was possible to retrieve the results for a test that we’d write the results for ✨by hand✨#from some kind of system????? like i was just so!!!!! baffled!!!! that she couldn’t understand that there was no system to check????#though. hm. i guess saying that i have ✨secret✨ beef with that admin would be an understatement. i think none of the others like her either#but! i do have secret beef with the janitor bc he alwayyys magically appears behind me whenever i’m doing something important/holding acids#well! at least we don’t cross paths when i’m working the pm shift. the janitor dude was spared from my presence for the week lmao#hfhfhfhhfhfhfhffffffff well. m. i’m sorry if you read all that. i’ll be more normal tomorrow i swear!!!! (blatant lies)#i feel like tling something ✨t o x i c✨ to match how im feeling thoughhh… hm. maybe the p a r a s ite chapter from the d*27m annequin anth…?#been thinking about that song lately ngl.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.#oh wellssssss at least i can try to enjoy what’s left of my long weekend lmaooo goodnighttttt#inedible blubbering
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also if u have sent me an ask recently i apologize that it is taking me 500 years to answer, i walked like six hours last saturday and regrettably have not yet regained basic brain function
#why did everyone make tumblr user kyo quicktimeeventfull walk for six hours and also accidentally kick xir cane out from under xir feet#like 7 times#questions to ask#i also had to climb a lot of stairs bc i went to a concert & i dont like to buy the accessible seats#bc i CAN do it whereas other people cant idk#they were empty though i should have just done it#btw hot tip#pretty much everyone i know has at some point kicked my cane out idk it happens its fine#but it does hurt pls don’t laugh fygfrtgddtg i think people do this bc they feel embarrassed but pls don’t#also please please TRY to avoid it idk for some reason some people don’t seem to care if they do it#walk on the opposite side of the cane to avoid it
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So today I want to talk about puberty blockers for transgender kids, because despite being cisgender, this is a subject I’m actually well-versed in. Specifically, I want to talk about how far backwards things have gone.
This story starts almost 20 years ago, and it’s kind of long, but I think it’s important to give you the full history. At the time, I was working as an administrative assistant for a pediatric endocrinologist in a red state. Not a deep deep red state like Alabama, we had a little bit of a purple trend, but still very much red. (I don’t want to say the state at the risk of doxxing myself.) And I took a phone call from a woman who said, “My son is transgender. Does your doctor do hormone therapy?”
I said, “Good question! Let me find out.”
I went into the back and found the doctor playing Solitaire on his computer and said, “Do you do hormone therapy for transgender kids?” It had literally never come up before. He had opened his practice there in the early 2000s. This was roughly 2006, and the first time someone asked. Without looking up from his game of Solitaire, the doctor said, “I’ve never done it before, but I know how it works, so sure.”
I got back on the phone and told the mom, who was overjoyed, and scheduled an appointment for her son. He was the first transgender child we treated with puberty blockers. But not, by far, the first child we treated with puberty blockers, period. Because puberty blockers are used very commonly for children with precocious puberty (early-onset puberty). I would say about twenty percent of the kids our doctor treated were for precocious puberty and were on puberty blockers. They have been well studied and are widely used, safe, and effective.
Well. It turned out, the doctor I worked for was the only doctor in the state who was willing to do this. And word spread pretty fast in the tight-knit community of ‘parents of transgender children in a red state’. We started seeing more kids. A better drug came out. We saw some kids who were at the age where they were past puberty, and prescribed them estrogen or testosterone. Our doctor became, I’m fairly sure, a small folk hero to this community.
Insurance coverage was a struggle. I remember copying articles and pages out of the Endocrine Society Manual to submit with prior authorization requests for the medications. Insurance coverage was a struggle for a lot of what we did, though. Growth hormone for kids with severe idiopathic short stature. Insulin pumps, which weren’t as common at the time, and then continuous glucose monitoring, when that came out. Insurance struggles were just part and parcel of the job.
I remember vividly when CVS Caremark, a pharmaceutical management company, changed their criteria and included gender dysphoria as a covered diagnosis for puberty blockers. I thought they had put the option on the questionnaire to trigger an automatic denial. But no - it triggered an approval. Medicaid started to cover it. I got so good at getting approvals with my by then tidy packet of articles and documentation that I actually had people in other states calling me to see what I was submitting (the pharmaceutical rep gave them my number because they wanted more people on their drug, which, shady, but sure. He did ask me if it was okay first).
And here’s the key point of this story:
At no point, during any of this, did it ever even occur to any of us that we might have to worry about whether or not what we were doing was legal.
It just never even came up. It was the medically recommended treatment so we did it. And seeing what’s happening in the UK and certain states in America is both terrifying and genuinely shocking to me, as someone who did this for almost fifteen years, without ever even wondering about the legality of it.
The doctor retired some years ago, at which point there were two other doctors in the state who were willing to prescribe the medications for transgender kids. I truly think that he would still be working if nobody else had been willing to take those kids on as patients. He was, by the way, a white cisgender heterosexual Boomer. I remember when he was introduced to the concept of ‘genderfluid’ because one of our patients on HRT wanted to go off. He said ‘that’s so interesting!’ and immediately went to Google to learn more about it.
I watched these kids transform. I saw them come into the office the first time, sometimes anxious and uncertain, sometimes sullen and angry. I saw them come in the subsequent times, once they were on hormone therapy, how they gradually became happy and confident in themselves. I saw the smiles on their faces when I gave them a gender marker letter for the DMV. I heard them cheer when I called to tell them I’d gotten HRT approved by insurance and we were calling in a prescription. It was honestly amazing and I will always consider the work I did in that red state with those kids to be something I am incredibly proud of. I was honored to be a part of it.
When I see all this transgender backlash, it’s horrifying, because it was well on the way to become standard and accepted treatment. Insurances started to cover it. Other doctors were learning to prescribe it. And now … it’s fucking illegal? Like what the actual fuck. We have gone so far backwards that it makes me want to cry. I don’t know how to stop this slide. But I wrote this so people would understand exactly how steep the slide is.
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Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who from the moment he laid eyes on you, has only ever referred to you as his wife
You, this sweet little thing, running through the halls on base one day when you turn a corner and nearly run headfirst into the Lieutenant, who’s walking alongside Soap
“Oh! Sorry about that, sir.” You told him, never slowing down in your hurried pace as you snuck around his large frame and continued down towards whatever you were evidently late for
The only reason his gaze had followed your retreating form, was that unlike everyone else, you had met his eyes when you spoke, even smiled warmly up at him
That one smile and he was done for
“Who was tha’?” The sergeant had questioned, seeing Ghost’s attention still fixated on you.
“Think that was my wife.”
“Yer what?!”
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who makes it a point to let everyone know that you are in fact his wife
Well, everyone apart from you apparently
He would certainly never abuse his position as a Lieutenant, but some new recruit had the audacity to whistle at you as you walked by? Well 100 laps around the base don’t exactly run themselves
Another soldier saved you a seat next to him in a briefing? He can enjoy scrubbing toilet seats for the next week in that case
Someone actually had the bollocks to ask you for your phone number? Perfect, he needed a volunteer for demonstrating hand to hand combat to the recruits, medics on standby of course
By the time he properly introduces himself to you for the first time, it’s understood by everyone else around that you are, for all intents and purposes, Mrs Riley
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who listens to you tell him your name in a voice that resembles music to his ears, hardly bothering to remember your last name, seeing as it’ll be changing soon enough anyway
“You can call me anythin’ you want, love.” His deep, gravelly voice had sent shivers down your spine, cheeky smirk widening beneath his mask. “So long as you call me, that is.”
By the end of your first date, (you were sitting alone in the dining hall and he wordlessly joined you what do you mean this isn’t a date) he’s wondering if you’ll insist on a ceremony or if he can sweep you away to the nearest courthouse and make this official, slipping a ring onto you finger and his cock into you
You had laughed when he put his number into your phone and named himself ‘Husband’, certain that the man was only messing with you, some kind of hazing that you apparently weren’t aware Lieutenants played on the new communications hire, but it was only fair seeing as he’d saved your contact under ‘Wife’
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who is over the moon every time you play along, even if he knows you believe you’re only playing
“Ach, thanks Lt. Just what I needed.” Soap said, seeing Ghost’s approaching form enter the common room, holding a steaming cup of tea in each hand
“S’for my wife. Get your own.” The older man gruffly replied, sliding the mug onto the side table next to where you’re curled up on the couch, reading a book
“Aw, thank you honey.” You giggled, smiling up as him with an expression he thinks would taste even sweeter than honey if he were to run his tongue across your upturned lips
“Happy wife, happy life, sergeant.” Ghost shrugged, ignoring the other man’s pout, landing next to you and reaching an arm behind you across the back of the couch
“God, maybe I really should keep you.” You’d laughed, reaching a leg out to dig your socked toes into his muscled thigh, teasing him
Grasping your foot into his large, strong hands, he began massaging it, uncaring that you were only two of the many people in the common room, not when you looked at him like that, smiling together as though you truly were nothing more than a married couple
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who surprised you one day, insisting he needed your help with something crucial off base, and drove you to a local shopping outlet to look at none other than dresses
“Is there some sort of party happening?” You’d questioned, confused out of your mind
“Suppose you could consider it a party.” He’d answered, leading you through the many racks of dresses, you noticed were all, very conveniently, white
“Now while you’re lookin’ through dress sizes,” he’d added, taking your left hand in both of his. “You know your ring size? Got my own shoppin’ to do ‘round here.”
Series masterlist
#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty fic#simon riley#simon ghost riley#cod fanfic#ghost x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon fluff#simon ghost riley x you#cod simon ghost riley#ghost x you#ghost fanfic#call of duty ghost#ghost cod#ghost#wife at first sight series#wife at first sight
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boyfriend!toji who doesn’t know why but he feels this weird jealousy everytime he sees you meet your friends and greet them all with a big hug. you never did that with him. you relationship was still fairly new to the both of you, but you kissed you fucked you even held hands sometimes when walking around. but, what toji was now realizing, was that he wanted a hug. well, he wanted a hug from You. not a casual little hug, a hug. holding each other. he didn’t know how to broach the subject without sounding needy and like the complete opposite of how he usually acts. he had never cared about this kinda stuff with other people, he’d never experienced it growing up and he thought he could live without it. until you. until you showed him that wanting to be held was normal. he’d been thinking about it for a while until one night, as the two of you got ready for bed it simply slipped out.
‘how come you don’t hug me?’
immediately you stopped plaiting your hair and turned to him with a shocked look.
‘what?’
‘how come you don’t hug me? like when you see your friends or you say bye you hug them. you don’t hug me.’
as soon as he said it he felt stupid. a grown man like him, older than you and he was sat here asking for a fucking hug. what if you turned the question around and said ‘well you don’t hug me’ what would he say? that i’ve never done that before sorry i don’t know how? his thoughts came to a stop when he felt a small hand grab his own larger one.
‘i- toji im so sorry. i’m sorry i didn’t think that was something you wanted.’
fuck now he’s made you feel bad.
‘nah doll you don’t have to say sorry, its nothing let’s just go to bed’
‘no toji please. let’s talk about it.’
you lifted the blanket and made your way over to his side of the bed so you could sit face to face. everything about you was so soft, so kind. such a complete contrast to himself. he was panicking, he didn’t do stuff like this, never talked about stuff like this.
‘honestly toji, i really just thought you weren’t a touchy person. i’m sorry for just assuming especially considering everything you’ve been through,’
‘no please doll. i wasn’t trying to blame you for anything. i just’
his palms were actually sweating, but your face. god your darling sweet face, looking at him like he hung up the stars in sky. like every word out of his mouth meant the world to you. you would wait for him to get the words out no matter how long he took.
‘i don’t know to be honest. you’re right i’m not a touchy person i’ve never really hugged anyone. but i want that. with you. and im sorry, i should be the one to initiate it i just didn’t really know how doll.’ his voice was so quiet, just a rough whisper.
he looked up to stare into your glassy eyes when you leaned in and kissed him. a small whisper of a kiss.
‘can i hug you?’ you said with your lips pressed against his.
he knew you knew he would prefer not to dwell on it.
and then he wrapped his arms around your back so tightly like he was showing the universe just how bad he needed you. he pulled you into his lap and let his cheek fall to your shoulder. he felt your arms wrap around his neck and you fingers stroking the hairs at his nape.
neither of you spoke, you simply sat and held each other and made a silent promise to maintain the closeness from today onwards.
‘thank you for telling me toji. you big baby.’
‘yeah that’s enough. time for bed.’
your giggle was music to his ears.
#toji x reader#incredibly sad#soft toji save me#jjk x you#jjk toji#toji fluff#jjk fluff#jjk#toji headcanons#toji x you#toji x y/n#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#jjk headcanons#jjk drabbles#jjk fic rec#jjk fic#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#fluff#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut#jjk angst#toji angst#hurt/comfort#toji comfort#jujutsu toji#angst with a happy ending
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not to be gleefully evil but both my boss and the owners told me yesterday what they all think about a coworker of mine who I’ve hated pretty much ever since he was hired and it’s not anything good hehehehe 😈 the owners even said they might need to replace him soon and just thinking about him being gone makes me smile
#text#my shitty coworker be like#step 1) get hired#step 2) be late every day#step 3) ask the same basic questions and slow down the entire team avery day#step 4) don’t do any work unless someone catches you slacking and tells you what to do#step 5) get mad when they tell you what to do#step 6) LIE to the boss about what goes on between your and the coworkers even when the boss WAS THERE AND KNOWS THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED#step 7) simply don’t show up to work the day after you’ve had arguments with coworkers and don’t let anyone know you won’t be in#step 8) hopefully get fired?????#like was that his end goal ? cause everything he’s done seems to point to it like??? crazy bitch lol
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𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄.ᐟ
what happens when you don't use their pet name to call them?
⟡ content: zayne/sylus/xavier/rafayel x gn!reader; more dialogue heavy; silly and cute
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ZAYNE ⟡
“Can you help me put this on, Zayne?”
From the reflection in the mirror, you tried not to react at the twist in his brow and the momentary confusion in his eyes. Wordlessly, he moved behind you, fingers taking the necklace out of your hand. With his gaze focused on the task before him, you could see him open his mouth, hesitating to speak.
“Did I do something wrong?” he questioned.
Zayne’s deft hands carefully laid the chain around your neck, centering the pendent between your collarbones.
You plastered on your most innocent expression, despite the twinge of guilt you felt at his question.
“Hm? Why do you ask?”
Swiftly, he clasped the ends of the chain together. His eyes flicked towards yours in the mirror.
“You’re calling me by my first name. I thought pet names were an important step in a relationship for you.”
You nodded. “Yes, Zayne, I do think it’s an important step.”
His eyes narrowed at your continual uncharacteristic responses.
Folding his arms, he mused aloud. “It took you some time to drop the title ‘doctor’ for me and to just use my name. After we became official, you were quick to call me ‘love’.”
You fiddled with your necklace, trying to, impossibly, force away the heat from your face.
“So, either I did something to make you upset, or”—he leaned in close to you, the side of his face almost touching yours—“you’re playing a trick on me.”
You gave a mock frown. He cocked his head to the side, awaiting your response.
“Okay, okay, it was a prank.” Sighing, you surrendered to his deductions. “I wanted to see how you’d react, but you saw right through me,” you mumbled.
His lips quirked. “I’ve known you for long enough to figure these things out.”
Wanting to wipe off the amused look he had on his face, you quickly planted a kiss on his cheek. His face turned into surprise. He chuckled, shaking his head at your triumphant smile.
“Thank you for helping me, my love."
SYLUS ⟡
“Sylus, could you play that new record you bought?”
You called from the sofa. Standing by the record player, he turned to face you. The offence on his face was unmistakable as he placed his hands on his hips.
“Sylus?” he scoffed. “We both know that’s not what you call me.”
Your brows furrowed, feigning confusion. “What are you talking about? Isn’t that your name?”
“Sweetie,” he levelled a look of scepticism at you, “that hasn’t been my name for the past month we’ve been together.”
“I still don’t know what you mean, Sylus.”
He paused. Gears turned in his head trying to unpack what was happening, much like he would do when reading the truthfulness of a dealer during a bargain.
“Y/N.”
You’ve never heard your own name being said in such a serious manner. Perhaps you got a taste of your own medicine.
“I’m not particularly fond of lose-lose situations.” The softness in his tone made you feel weak. “You can tell me if I’ve done something to annoy you. I won’t be angry.”
“Not at all!” you quickly blurted out. Unable to hide it any longer, you confessed. “You haven’t done anything to annoy me. I was just trying to pull a small prank.”
All the tension visibly released from his body. A relieved sigh escaped him. “You really do play some dangerous games, kitten.”
Playfulness returned to his voice. “Now then, how will you correct your mistake?”
“Honey,” you drawled out each syllable, making it sound as syrupy as the nickname itself, “could you play that new record you bought now?”
Sylus couldn’t help but laugh at your exaggeration. “Why of course.”
XAVIER ⟡
“Xavier, do you want to try this?”
Subtly glancing at his reaction from the kitchen, you saw his face immediately fall into a pout. The look was fatal, and it took all the willpower you had not to drop the ruse right then and there.
“That’s not my name,” he answered.
“What do you mean?” you chuckled, continuing to put icing on the sugar cookies you baked. “Of course it is!”
“No, it’s not,” he insisted.
Placing his book down, he walked to stand at your side by the counter. You avoided his eye contact, pretending that nothing was amiss.
Resting a hand under his chin, he began to think. “You usually call me bunny, sweetheart, sunshine, or darling.”
Your jaw dropped in amused shock. “You remember all the names I’ve called you?”
His mouth twitches. “There are some more, but… they might be a bit embarrassing to say aloud right now.”
That was enough to make you look at him with wide eyes.
“Xavier!” Your face turned pink as you slapped his shoulder. There was no force behind the hit, but enough to convey your embarrassment.
“You did it again. You used the wrong name.” He stuck his bottom lip out.
You gently poked at his cheek, trying to lift the corner of his lip upwards. “Come on, don’t be sad darling.”
Immediately, he brightened before you.
“It was just a joke I saw couples do online. I wanted to see how you’d react.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “And was my reaction satisfactory?”
“I think it was,” you smiled at him, "but it’s a shame I didn’t film it, it would’ve made for a good Moments post.”
He shook his head. “But, the nicknames we use are only for us.”
The finished cookie in your hand had a bite suddenly taken from it as Xavier leaned down to have a taste.
“I don’t want anyone else to know.”
RAFAYEL ⟡
“Are you ready to go yet, Rafayel?”
He continued to hum to himself, completely ignoring you. You folded your arms as you watched him busy himself with something trivial. He flung open a random cupboard and inspected what appeared to be an assortment of spare art supplies.
“Rafayel,” you called again.
He then turned his attention to the fishbowl in the centre of the room, where a small orange fish darted around.
“Reddie, do you hear something?” he asked, gazing so earnestly into the bowl. This fish paused its movement and stared back at his owner.
“Rafayel~” you sang his name aloud this time, extending the last syllable.
He gasped, apparently receiving some confirmation from Reddie.
“You hear something too? Thank god. I was thinking there must be something wrong with my ears.”
Surveying the room around him, Rafayel intentionally looked past you standing barely a few metres from him, tapping your foot against the wooden floorboards of his studio.
“It sounds like”—he continued—“some kind of voice. Someone familiar to me, but I can’t make out who it is.”
“Rafayel!” you shouted his name between fits of laughter. Only he could respond to your jokes with his own dramatics.
He sucked in a breath in puzzlement. “I wonder who this person is calling out to.”
“Baby,” you finally conceded, “I’m talking to you!”
It seemed like he couldn’t keep up the act either, as he started laughing with you.
“Took you long enough,” he huffed, moving towards you and linking your arm with his. “Otherwise, Reddie and I would have been searching for this phantom voice for the rest of the day.”
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#odorawrites#love and deepspace#l&ds#lads#love and deepspace fluff#love and deepspace x reader#l&ds x reader#lads x reader#zayne love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#zayne x reader#zayne x y/n#zayne x you#xavier x reader#xavier x y/n#xavier x you#rafayel x reader#rafayel x y/n#rafayel x you#l&ds fluff#zayne fluff#xavier fluff#rafayel fluff
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I think it’s really fucked up that I’m seriously vibing with a school friend who is always super kind, compassionate, and understanding, and yet I’m still metaphorically tiptoeing around him because I can’t fathom that he doesn’t secretly hate me and need an excuse to tell me off or something.
#coming back to add tags because I have more to say and don’t want to reblog to do so.#like I really fucking hope that the fear I feel doesn’t show through because he hasn’t done anything to make me feel anxious#i’ve just had so many fucked up interactions and friendships#and I’m having trouble receiving the kindness and compassion without feeling like it’ll run out before long#the message that set off my anxiety today?#he asked if basically my gameplay window today was the same as it’s been the past few days#AND I CONFIRMED AND SAID THAT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO PLAY EARLIER#BUT THAT I’M RELYING ON OTHER PEOPLE’S TIMELINES#AND THAT IF IT DIDNT WORK FOR TODAY WE COULD TRY A DIFFERENT DAY#OBJECTIVELY. HIS INITIAL QUESTION. DID NOT IMPLY ANGER OR ANNOYANCE.#BUT ALMOST EVERYONE ELSE I KNOW HAS GOTTEN ANNOYED WITH MY AVAILABILITY AND I’VE GOTTEN NO COMPLAINTS FROM HIM SO FAR#SO I’M WAITING FOR AN ACTUAL EXPLOSION THAT MAY NOT EVER COME
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