#step 6) LIE to the boss about what goes on between your and the coworkers even when the boss WAS THERE AND KNOWS THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED

[casioblancas]

not to be gleefully evil but both my boss and the owners told me yesterday what they all think about a coworker of mine who I’ve hated pretty much ever since he was hired and it’s not anything good hehehehe 😈 the owners even said they might need to replace him soon and just thinking about him being gone makes me smile

[solaneceae]

EGOTOBER DAY 6 - Coffee

Henrik knew from the get-go that this was going to be a shitty day.

Now, today was supposed to be his first off day in… months? Years? He wasn’t sure. He’d been against it of course, but his insufferable colleagues kept pestering him about “healthy work balance” and “self-care” and other nonsense of the same caliber. It had gotten to such a degree that even his boss had stepped in, basically ordering him -Schneep didn’t take no orders from no-one, thank you very much- to take a week off.

“I have some patients in the west wing that look healthier than you do right now, Henrik.” his boss had said. He’d then taken a long look at the ego’s face and shaken his head. “Scratch that, all of them do. I don’t need one of my best doctors to burn out on me, do you understand?”

So now here he was, slowly waking up in his room back home, with nothing to look forward to.  Schneep sighed and draped an arm over his eyes, blocking off the light coming from the slits between his blinds. He could faintly hear Chase’s laughter coming from downstairs, as well as Robbie’s delighted cries; they were probably playing a game of sorts. That was odd. Those two weren’t usually up so earl-

Wait a minute.

He jerked his arm off his face, a sense of urgency rushing through him. His bedroom was too bright, his body too heavy with the remnants of sleep, his bed too warm. What time- 

The German clumsily fished out his phone from under his pillow and unlocked it, wincing at the harsh light of the screen. His jaw dropped.

“11AM?! Mist!”

This couldn’t be happening. This shouldn’t be happening, his phone always woke him up at 6AM sharp, every single day. But as he opened the clock app, he realized his trusty alarm was… gone. Not even turned off, just straight up missing. 

He was pretty sure he’d remember deleting it -not that he ever would. Was this some sort of glitch…?

His face twisted in rage as he realized. This motherfucker.

The little shit was gonna get an earful when Henrik found him. The doctor threw the covers off of him and jumped out of bed -ouch, his head pounded at the sudden movement. Note to self, get some ibuprofen before going downstairs.

He couldn’t believe he’d just slept for twelve hours. This would not stand; he couldn’t just laze around all day, he’d go insane. He was a man of action, god dammit! Staying idle wasn’t an option, not in a million years. God, to think he had a week left of this nonsense. His coworkers hadn’t even let him bring his files, what was he supposed to do?!

The voices coming from under him grabbed his attention again, planting an idea in his mind: it had been a while since he’d put his siblings through a proper medical checkup. Perhaps they were overdue for one. A neurotic smile grew on his face as he started to frantically put on some clothes, despite the floor slightly rocking beneath his feet. Yes, he needed to make sure everyone was healthy, update their medical files, and check if Jackie’s ribs were still healing properly from his latest scuffle, and after that he could reorganize his office downstairs -something he’d be putting off for a while- and, and, and-

 ***

 “Gunten tag, Marvin. How have you been lately?”

The magician squirmed in his seat, looking around Henrik’s office with an aggravated expression. “Can’t we postpone this? I have a show to prep for this evening…” “I assure you, this won’t take long. I’ve haven’t been home as much these last few weeks, I figured it was time for a check-up.” “You did one last month-” “How’re your burns? Do you change your bandages every day?”

The green-haired magician frowned under his mask; his brother wasn’t listening, and he was usually the one pestering the rest of them about communication and honesty. Something wasn’t right. “... yeah. And I’m taking a break from potion making until they’re healed, like you told me to.”

The German nodded, scribbling something in his grey notebook. “Gud. I appreciate the basement not blowing up every other day.” “Oh come on, you’re exaggerating,” Marvin protested, straightening up in his chair, “My potions don’t explode, they’re just… feisty.” “Right, right. Of course.” the doctor mumbled dismissively, still not tearing his eyes away from the papers on his desk.

The masked man blinked. Okay, something was definitely up; Schneep would never miss an opportunity to berate him about the “dangerous and volatile experiments” of his. And was it the lighting in the room or did his counterpart seem a little paler than normal? “Hey, doc… is something wrong? You’re being less of an ass that usual.”

Henrik stopped writing, looking up at his patient. He pursed his lips in annoyance. “First of all, I take offense to that. Und nothing’s wrong.” he stated before taking a sip of his morning coffee -or afternoon coffee? His inner clock was all over the place today.

The magician tilted his head, doubtful. Maybe he should ask Anti to keep an eye on the older ego, just in case. Be useful for once. “If you’re sure… are we done here? I asked Yan to give me a ride downtown, they should pick me up in a few.”

Schneep’s grey eyes squinted in confusion. Yan? As in, the red-haired Iplier that dressed like a japanese schoolgirl? “He has his licence?” “They,” Marv emphasized, “don’t. They drive a bike, and yes I’ll wear a helmet, stars.” The German nodded. “They, my apologies. I didn’t know you two were acquainted.”

Marvin fiddled with the hem of his cape, averting his gaze. “We- it’s a recent thing. I know you and the glitch bitch don’t like us hanging out with the Ipliers, but Robbie introduced us and-” “Robbie?!”

He stopped. Henrik was staring at him, dumbfounded. That’s when Marvin realized he’d just, as Anti would say, fucked up. “...shit. He didn’t tell you, did he.” “Tell me what? That he’s been hanging out with the Ipliers behind my back?! They’re dangerous!” “You hang out with their doctor all the time! How is this any different?”

Schneep grit his teeth at the mention of his friend and colleague, and pushed back the unwanted thoughts. “We work together, und he’s a sensible person who doesn’t stab people left and right!”

Marvin bristled, hands clutching the fabric of his pants “Yan doesn’t-”

The doctor interrupted him, raising his hands in a placating manner. “I- look, I’m sorry I snapped, okay? I don’t know them, not like you seem to do, so it’s not my place to judge.” He sighted, something soft crossing his features. “I know you can handle yourself, Marv, so if you want to make friends with Dark’s family, I sure as hell ain’t gonna stop you, that would be hypocritical of me. But Robbie is-”

“What? An idiot? Clueless? Is that what you think?”

Schneep growled, massaging his temples. That stupid headache was coming back. “Don’t put words in my mouth. Robbie is far from stupid, but he’s not like the rest of us, you know that. He’s… innocent. I just don’t want him to get hurt.”

A pregnant pause. The magician fell back in his chair, shaking his head. “Hen… he’s not a child, even if you and Chase and… pretty much everyone here thinks of him that way. If you think he’s too naive to make his own decisions, then you might not know him as well as you think you do.”

Henrik chuckled bitterly. “Not as much as you do apparently, if he didn’t trust me enough to tell me himself.”

“He does trust you… but he also knows how protective of us you are. Maybe he thought you wouldn’t let him see them if you found out.” Marvin shrugged. “And from your reaction just now, I can see why he would.”

The doctor groaned; god dammit, this wasn’t how he had planned to spend his day. Looked like he and the zombie were due for a talk. “Does Anti know about this?”

His patient laughed. “Hell no, he’d throw a hissy fit if he found out. That guy goes full-on when it comes to Rob. Honestly, I think you and me are the only ones in the know for now.”

Henrik hummed and closed his notebook, signaling the end of the consultation. “I suppose. You can leave now, send in Anti next please. Und tell Robbie to come see me when I’ll be done with the rest of you.” “You’re not gonna lecture him too, are you?”

He shook his head, peering into his now empty mug. He needed more coffee. “If he truly understands what he’s getting into, then I won’t have a say on the matter. But I need to hear it from him.”

“Sounds reasonable enough.” the magician breathed out, standing back up. “He should still be with Chase, I’ll tell him to drop by later.” he smirked, adjusting his mask over his face.  “God, you’re such a mother Hen.”

“Get out of my office before I tranq you.”

 ***

 “You look like shit.” “Blunt as always I see.”

Anti smirked. The demon sat crossed-legged on the chair, like the bringer of chaos he was. “I’m just stating a fact, doc. And the fact is, you look like crap.”

“I didn’t summon you here to hear you critique my appearance. And I definitely don’t appreciate you messing with my phone. Why would you even do that?”

The green-haired glitch shrugged. “Thought it’d be funny.” “It really wasn’t.” “Never said it’d be funny to you...”

The German rolled his eyes. “This conversation has no purpose, I say we move on. How’s your neck wound?”

“Same as ever, only bleeds when I overuse my powers. But you know that already. Is there a point to this, or are you just finding excuses to keep busy?”

Henrik growled in frustration, resting his head in his clammy palms; he didn’t have the energy to deal with the glitch’s taunts right now. His arms were shaking from all the caffeine he’s been inhaling for the past hour, his head wouldn’t stop pounding and gottverdammnt, was it always this hot in this madhouse?!

He looked back up and jumped back with a startled yelp; Anti had glitched onto his desk, his face only a few inches away from his. His mocking grin was gone, replaced with an unusually serious expression. He squinted, something akin to concern flashing in his acid green eyes. “... you really are sick, aren’t you. Did you even eat today?” “I’m fine.” “Stop it. I fucking hate it when you lie.” “I’m not!”

The glitch huffed at the other’s stubbornness. “Whatever. It’s your funeral.”

 ***

 “... barely even hurts anymore, and- uh, Hen? You sure you’re okay? You don’t look so hot…”

Henrik blinked sluggishly at the blurry red figure in front of him; he didn’t remember Jackie coming in. He ran a shaky hand through his hair; it was damp and stuck to his forehead.

Had he asked Anti to send the hero in? Now that he thought about it, he didn’t remember Anti leaving his office either. Also, he felt like throwing up. That was concerning.

He mumbled something, not noticing he had reverted back into his mother tongue. Jackie’s concerned face kept sliding out of view, everything was spinning out of his control.

“Wh- dude, I can’t understand you and frankly, you’re starting to freak me out.”

He tried to stand; he needed to get out, get out of his stuffy office and maybe stand in the cold rain for a while, get rid of this suffocating heat and his sudden nausea-

The world tilted on its axis, and next time he blinked, he was on the floor. Huh. It was more comfortable than he expected it to be.

“Sh- Hen?! What... ...rik! Can… me? Guys, I… help!”

The rooms spinned faster and faster as he felt his eyes roll back into his head. And then he felt nothing at all.

 ***

 Everything hurts.

His limbs feel like lead and it’s like his ears are filled with cotton. He can vaguely make out the muffled voices of his family, and a quiet sob coming from somewhere in his right.

Schneep lets out a pained croak; his mouth tastes like iron. Shit, he must’ve bit his tongue when he collapsed.

“Oh shit, he’s coming back!” “Sshhhh, it’s okay Robbie, don’t cry… Henrik? Hen, can you hear us?” “Hey, doc? Blink twice if you’re not dead.”

“Verpiss dich.” he groans. His whole world is burning, something is definitely trying to claw its way out of his skull, and he wants it to stop.

Someone snorts; he can’t tell who, his mind isn’t working right. “I think he just insulted me, so he’s fine.”

He forces his eyes open -jesus, everything looks like an oversaturated blob right now- pushing on his trembling arms in an attempt to sit up.

“Oh no you don’t.” an authoritative voice snarls at him.

He feels something touch his face; his vision sharpens and for a second, he sees Marvin staring down at him, two fingers pressed against his damp forehead. The magician smiles. “This is for all the times you tranqued me.”

“What are you-” “Sleep.”

And he does.

 ***

 The second time he woke proved to be the right one.

Well, he still felt like shit overall. But the splitting pain in his skull had faded to a dull throb, and the smoldering heat to a bearable warmth. Progress.

His eyes fluttered open, taking in the familiar decor of his own bedroom. His night light seemed to be set on the lowest intensity, sparing his eyes and his head. It was dark outside.

“Oh thank fuck, you’re back. We were gonna take you to the ER if you didn’t wake up before dawn.”

Henrik twisted his neck to look at his left; Chase was sitting next to his bed, his shoulders dropping in apparent relief. The doctor propped himself up against the wall behind him -oh good, he could move without the room going all merry-go-round on him, hurray- and opened his mouth, but all that came out was a broken croak; gott, his throat and mouth were dry as a desert. Thankfully, Chase seemed to notice his woes and produced a water bottle from the foot of the bed, holding it out to his brother. “Here. Figured you’d want this, your fever only broke an hour ago.”

The German gratefully took the offering and greedily drained it, the cool liquid soothing his sore throat. He didn’t stop until the bottle was crushed, and he took a starved gulp of air. “D-Danke. What time is it?”

“Eh, about 3AM. So if I remember my third-grade math right, you’ve been out for about twelve hours.” “Jesus.” “Yup. You scared the shit out of us.”

Schneep sighed, propping the empty bottle on his nightstand. “I know. I’m sorry. Where are the others?” “Downstairs. Robbie fell asleep, but everyone else is awake and waiting for news.” “Everyone…?” “Yeah. Well, everyone but Anti, but that was to be expected, he gets elusive when there’s too many of us around. Jackie stayed home for the night to make sure you’d be okay, and Marv canceled his show.”

Henrik groaned, his face heating up in shame. “Dammit.” Then he remembered the sensation of cool fingers on his forehead, and two slitted green eyes pulling him into the darkness. “Wait. Did Marv seriously knock me out with magic?!”

Chase grimaced. “Yeah, he won’t be sorry about that one. Plus you kinda needed it.” “Hmpf.” “I’ll let them know you’re up. But first…”

The vlogger grabbed his chair and plopped down on hit, his arms and head resting on top of the backseat. “You’re going to tell me what’s going on with you.”

Henrik averted his gaze, staring at the ceiling. It could use a fresh paint job, he thought. “Nothing.”

“We both know that’s bullshit. I’m not a literal lie detector like Anti, but I can tell when you’re hiding something.” Chase waved at his friend’s prone body. “I mean for God’s sake, just look at yourself! You’ve been running yourself ragged for weeks now, and you won’t tell any of us anything! I don’t care why you thought you could let it go so far, but as soon as it starts affecting your health then it becomes our problem too!”

The vlogger was glaring daggers into him. Chase didn’t get angry often, so whenever he did, that was a pretty clear sign that you’d messed up. Big time. Henrik let out a trembling breath, covering his eyes; what an absolute disaster.

“Remember when I passed out in the kitchen that one time?”

The German turned to look at his brother, disconcerted by the sudden change in topic. The vlogger was clutching the wooden chair, head bowed, his eyes hidden in the shadow of his iconic cap. The off-white scars on his arms were peeking out of his sleeves.

“Robbie hadn’t slept well that night. He always had good instincts. So he came downstairs early in the morning to get some warm milk, and he almost tripped on my unconscious body. Remember that?”

Henrik cringed; he did. And he was starting to understand what Chase trying to convey.

“Now,” his brother continued, “I wasn’t awake to witness that. Not the way he wailed loud enough to wake up the entire house, nor the look on his face when he ran to you for help. But…” 

He pointed at Henrik. “You’ve told me about all this. Several times, in great detail, every time you thought I was about to relapse. Which I didn’t, not since that day, because what you described was too heart-wrenching to even consider. And it was all second-hand knowledge, you know? Like I said, I didn’t experience it. But today? I was the one Robbie ran to, weeping about how you’d stopped moving. And, well…”

He chuckled, rubbing his face. It was devoid of mirth. “Let’s just say I’d rather cut off my own arm than see that look on his face ever again. So, you’re going to tell me why you’ve been destroying yourself, and I might consider not kicking your ass when you’re back on your feet again.”

Silence.

Henrik sighed. He was cornered. “...Okay, fine. But you will keep it to yourself, klar?”

Chase shrugged. “Unless hiding it would put us in danger, then I see no reason not to.”

Henrik rolled his head on the pillow, gazing up at the ceiling once more. He braced himself -c’mon, it’s Chase, you can trust him with this- then took a deep breath.  “I’ve been… conflicted. About something.”

Chase nodded, urging him to continue. That was a good start.

“I didn’t want to think about it, but it just kept looping in my mind, over and over. So I tried to keep busy, to make the thoughts go away.” “That one’s a given. So what’s been eating you? Did something happen? Do I need to punch someone?”

Henrik snorted. He knew that Chase was being completely serious, that he cared about him enough to kick someone’s ass on his behalf. Not going to lie, it felt nice. “Please don’t, none of this is his fault.”

The vlogger squinted. So this was about a guy.

“I’m just… I’m being stupid about it, okay? It probably didn’t mean anything and here I am overthinking it.” the German rambled; the floodgates had opened, words spilling out with less and less restraint. “Verdammt. I don’t know what happened. Everything was normal up until now, but then I started getting those weird signals and they might not even be signals at all and I maybe I’m reading him all wrong-”

“Dude, stop, I get it. You got a crush on Edward.”

Henrik choked on his words. He craned his neck so fast he felt it crack -gross- and stared wide-eyes at his sibling; there wasn’t the faintest trace of surprise on his face. Only calm understanding. Scheiße, was it that obvious?!

Chase seemed to somehow hear his thoughts, offering him a patient smile. “Dude, I’ve seen it all before. Heck, I’ve been there. Plus I know he walked you home a while ago, and it matches with when you started acting weird.”

The bedridden ego let out a huff. “What are you, a detective?” “Worse than that, I’m a father. I notice stuff.”

There was a moment of silence, as Schneep visibly struggling to find the right words, running his fingers through his mop of brown and grey hair. 

“I just… I’ve known him for so long. We’ve been working in the same clinic almost every day for years, so why now? What changed?”

Chase shrugged. “Hell if I know. Sometimes this stuff just… happens, y’know? There’s no grand rhyme or reason behind it, it just is. You only get to choose how to deal with it.”

The fatherly ego got off the chair to sit on Schneep’s bedside. “And, yeah, that’s where you’ve been messing up lately. I ain't gonna tell you how to live your life, but you need to stop running away from this. It’ll only get worse the longer you ignore it.” He sighted. “Christ dude. For all your talk about feelings and shit, you suck when it comes to your own.”

“I suppose.” the German mumbled. “Again, I’m sorry I scared you all. I really am.” “Well… if you promise us to never do that again then I guess I can forgive ya.” the vlogger winked and got up, stretching and cracking his joints. “Why don’tcha think on this for now, and I’ll go tell the others you didn’t slip into a coma or something. ...buuut before I do, I kinda have a confession to make.”

He scratched at the back of his head, smiling sheepishly. “I’m the one who asked Anti to get rid of your alarm. So don’t be mad at him for that.”

Schneep’s jaw dropped, shock written all across his features. “Was? That was your idea? But- why?!” “Look, I was just really worried, and it was your first day off in god-knows how long, I wanted you to get some rest!” “I swear- wait. Anti listened?” “He’s been… cooperative lately. I know, crazy right?” “Cooperating to make my life a living hell. You’ll be the death of me, all of you.”

Chase laughed. “We love you too, ya goof.”

-------

*mcfricking dies* NINE. FREAKING. PAGES.

why are those things getting longer and longer. someone please stop me.

@tabbynerdicat @egopocalypse​ @humblecacti​ @lilakennedy​ (Vati time)

[flannelpunkcalum]

The Devil Wears Kevlar - Part 3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

okay this is like, actually the plot igniting. so that’s exciting right??? also did you guys see the new joker trailer? nice to see the dcu is finally catching up to me... anyway sorry this is a little late it’s just that i’m a hot mess express this week love you bye! word count is about 3.5 k 

Things aren’t exactly easy, but they work.

In the next few days Aspen does start to get yelled at, in small amounts. Calum’s distinctly hungover on Monday, and she’s scared he’ll fire her for turning on the lights too bright. She’s tired some days too, and makes mistakes, or there are meetings she didn’t know about and someone shows up and Mr. Hood is double booked. He always gives her this look as he apologizes to whoever has been slighted, and he always says “new personal assistant” like it’s her fault that it wasn’t in the fucking book. He stops giving her little smiles all of a sudden, and he most certainly doesn’t tell her she did a good job in a low low voice at the end of the day.

Aspen learns to take deep breaths and count to ten and go back to her desk. She knows she’s shitty at hiding her feelings, always has been, but now that she’s a personal assistant she forces it to manifest as extra-saccharine smiles and that’s it.

Mr. Hood knows how she feels; she knows by now he’s too smart not to. It’s ridiculous, what they both know the other knows, but they’re both ignoring that. Logically, it's fucked, but if he closes his door a little too hard or she smiles with too many teeth they let it lie. It works, she thinks.

And here’s the thing; she thinks those are the bad days.

She has no idea.

It starts about a week and a half in, on a Thursday. She knows it’s a Thursday because those are the roughest days and this one is no exception. It starts out okay, actually; her roommate Mel is up in time to grab breakfast with Aspen, and they talk about normal things, goofy things, that episode of Criminal Minds they had watched last night, until they go their separate ways. She’s grinning when she hands Calum Hood his coffee and schedule that morning, and she has a happy song stuck in her head while she taps away at her keyboard. She’d like to think her good mood is infectious, because when Mr. Hood leaves his office to go to the boardroom he’s got a faint smile on too.

Things seem like they’ll be good today.

The next time she looks up from her computer it’s to glance back to the elevator when it dings open and a grey-haired man steps out. The next thing she notices about him is that his suit is nice, and the third thing is that he’s making a beeline to Mr. Hood’s empty office. That's all she has time for before she rushes up to stop him.

“Excuse me, sir?” She says, in her very best polite voice. He turns, thankfully; he may be greying but he certainly doesn’t look frail. “Mr. Hood isn’t in right now, but he should be back soon if you’d like to wait.”

The man jerks his head towards the office door, seeming confused. “Yes.” He says, and moves towards the office again. Jesus, no one goes into Mr. Hood’s office without him, not even the janitors, not even her. She moves to stop him, but before she can touch the stranger Liam’s hand is on her shoulder and he’s moving towards the man. Thank god, she thinks, before he shakes the stranger’s hand.

“I’m sorry, sir, she’s new.” Liam says, and then he turns back to Aspen. “Aspen, this is Don Falcone.” He says it like it’s big news, like this man’s important. It still means jack shit to Aspen.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Can I get you anything while you’re here in the reception area? Coffee? A magazine?” She says, with an admirable smile (considering the circumstances).

The man doesn’t move. “Liam. Talk to this pretty little girl for me,” he says, and then Liam grabs her elbow and pulls her away into his office, hard enough that she almost cries out. He pushes her inside and closes the door behind them.

They can’t treat her like that.

“Liam, I’m not gonna let you do this twice-”

“Would you shut up and listen to me?” He reaches out again, but this time Aspen is expecting it and she darts out of his reach. “Jesus. I know you’re new to Gotham, but you don’t understand- Don Falcone is the most powerful man in this city and I’m doing you a favour, keeping you out of his way.”

“Some favour, I’m gonna bruise!”

“Yeah, well, if you stood in his way you’d get worse, Aspen. Half the city works for him.”

“Wow, Liam, a CEO?” Aspen’s still in what is very nearly a fighting stance - what the hell kind of office is this? He coworker raises a hand, and she flinches, but he just brushes his hair out of his eyes. He’s still between her and the door. “Never dealt with one of those before, thank you so much-”

“He’s the head of Gotham’s biggest crime family, so yeah, you should thank me for trying to keep you safe. He could order a hit on you for less.” Liam says, all biting.

Aspen opens her mouth to say that’s stupid, that doesn’t happen, but then she takes a look around. This is Gotham; this was where you buy pepper spray at the dollar store and where crazy people dress in costumes to burn the city down. Her mother hadn’t wanted her to take this job for a reason. Someone like her, she’d probably be no trouble to kill.

She stops and closes her mouth, looking in the office’s direction through the glass walls of Liam’s office. “...I should call the police.” She says finally, moving towards the phone.

Liam gets there first. “No, you shouldn’t. This is Gotham, the police aren’t gonna do shit. You don’t have to worry about Mr. Hood, their families go way back, the Don’s not going to hurt him. You need to worry about you.”

Aspen’s still for now, but inside she feels like something’s raging, something like a storm. Liam’s hand is on the phone, holding it down. He's twice her size, she couldn't drag him away. He looks… just as freaked as she feels, now that she looks at him. His eyes are wide and his hair, which is usually perfectly gelled straight up to heaven, has let a few stands hang in his eyes. It makes him look a little younger. Aspen feels herself wavering. “What am I supposed to do, let him just- isn’t it my job to do something-”

“It’s your job to stay alive.” Liam says, firm enough that Aspen doesn’t argue.

...for long, anyway. “I thought you didn’t want me working up here.” She says, finding just a little more anger in her.

Liam scoffs. “I don’t,” he says, sitting on the corner of his desk, “but that doesn’t mean I want to see you hurt.”

“How very sweet of you.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t make it easy.”

Aspen starts to inch towards the door, but Liam’s watching and he doesn’t try to stop her. She takes that as a sign that she can leave, but right as she’s about to make her escape she makes herself stop and face him. “You know, the next time you grab me, I’m gonna break a finger.”

He laughs, but she’s not joking. “I mean it. I’ve had enough of being manhandled. Don’t try it again.” She says, and turns on her heel. She leaves stony faced, and she sits down at her desk and looks at her hands and wishes she didn’t have these fucking glass walls so she could have a fucking meltdown.

Her hands are still balled into fists when Calum arrives, and she rushes out of her office to meet him. “Mr. Hood? Don Falcone is in your office, he’s been waiting, I couldn’t-”

“Don Falcone? Wait, he’s in- why didn’t you do something?” Mr. Hood looked reluctant to be stopped, but as soon as she started to explain he turned all the way towards her and yeah, that was worse.

“You think I could stop him? Sir, I-”

Mr. Hood has a briefcase in his hand and Aspen can only imagine that he’d like to swing it at her head. “I expect you to, yes, that’s-” He stops himself and grimaces, glancing at his closed office door. “We’ll discuss this later. Don’t leave your desk until I call for you.” He adds, already walking away.

She stands in the reception area until the office door closes. Janice won’t meet her eyes.  

Aspen’s somewhere between furious and desolate.

She goes back to her desk, of course she does. Feels like she’s in a fucking time out. She’s not prepared for this. She knows science, not mob bosses or office policies, and she’s not used to being pushed around like this (because she associates with decent fucking people in her spare time).

She’s not going to let Mr. Hood get her in trouble for this. She doesn’t think she’ll get fired, but the thought crosses her mind - after all, the man goes through personal assistants like he goes through girlfriends. Anyway, if she loses this position for standing up for herself, then it wasn’t fucking worth it in the first place. In a way, she���s thankful this meeting is going into her lunch break; it gives her time to build her case, get determined.

Carmine Falcone (she did some Googling, but there’s not a lot out there) leaves after a good long time, looking unreadable. Aspen forces herself to smile and wave at him as he passes her office, which gets a nod in return (“order a hit” reverberates in her head). Calum’s office door closes before she sees him, so she grits her teeth and stays sitting down, staring at her computer monitor before the phone rings.

They maintain their polite ignorance over the phone. Mr. Hood asks if he could see her in his office, please, and she says right away, sir, and they both hang up like adults. Aspen doesn’t kid herself, though, he’s going to tear her apart in a minute.

She squares her shoulders and crosses the lobby, knocking on his door before she can chicken out. “Come in,” says Mr. Hood, and she has to take a deep breath and remind herself of the overtime pay before she pushes open the door to meet her fate.

She knows he’s mad because he keeps on writing, doesn’t even look up as she enters. He wants to make her suffer for this, in some small way. He’s really fuckin’ mad, then. Still, she waits. There’s not much else she can do.

Eventually, he puts his pen down and looks up. “Is it unreasonable, what I ask of you, Aspen?”

“Is-”

“No.”

Alright, then.

Mr. Hood continues. “My orders are simple and they’re easy to follow and yet you allowed someone to stay in my office unsupervised for half an hour without so much as opening the door? Do you understand how ridiculous that is?”

Aspen knows she’s in the right, but she can still feel her face growing red. “Yes.”

“Oh, really? I don’t think you do, because certainly you allowed it to happen. I also know that’s the reason Carmine Falcone has a copy of one of my stupid paper schedules in his pocket and for the rest of the day he knows-”

This has gone too far, Aspen has to do damage control. “Sir, I think that’s-”

“Miss McMichael, you will not interrupt me.” His very tone makes Aspen feel like she's been slapped, and she closes her mouth. She doesn't think he's ever called her that before. “God knows what else he’s got on me, thanks to your negligence. I think I’ve been very forgiving of your mistakes, but this is something else.” He stands up. His jacket is off, and his dress shirt is drawn tight across his shoulders. Aspen is reminded of how big he is, but he’s not like Liam. He’s not going to grab her. Right? “Can you give me one good reason that I shouldn’t send you out of this office right now?”

“Look, Mr. Hood, I tried, but-”

“You will not use that tone with me.”

That does it.

Aspen feels lightheaded with anger. “No, you will let me speak, sir, since I’ve sat through your entire rant so far.” She says, with all the energy in her little body. She’s firm. She’s not going to get pushed around any more. “I tried to stop him, and I’m sure he told you that, but Liam wouldn’t let me and I don’t mean to blame him but he told me about - um, Falcone’s line of business, and to be frank yeah, I think it’s a little unreasonable for you to ask me to drag a mobster out of your office while you’re out.”

She almost regrets her harsh tone for a second, while Mr. Hood sits in stunned silence. Fuck, she’s never spoken to him like that. “I understand that you’re angry but this isn’t fair. I don't want to lose this job but if you want someone who’ll let you scream at them just because you’re angry you should send me back to the lab right now.” She says, finally.

Aspen knows from experience the next few moments are crucial, because she’s known to be an angry crier on occasion. If she can just keep it together for a few more seconds, caught in Mr. Hood’s agonizing gaze, she’ll be alright and able to scrape her composure back together. And this is Calum Hood they’re talking about, she’s seen him go cold on people before, but being the target of this is almost knocking her over. If she crumbles now, though, she’ll never have his respect. She can see it in his eyes.

He doesn’t speak.

This silence draws long.

It’s probably only a few seconds, but Aspen can’t stand it. “Also I think if you thought the paper schedules were stupid I think there’s a better way to tell me.” She adds quickly, and that gets a small sniff of amusement from Calum and suddenly she can breathe again.

“You’re... somewhat right.” He says, sitting back down.

That’s something.

“...next time something like this happens, I need you to call me right away. Don’t put yourself in any danger, if it comes to that. If Falcone, or anyone else won’t listen to you, just let them go and call me as soon as you can.” Aspen nods. At least that’s something she can do. “I’m sorry I was unfair. But you should know that if this happens again and you don’t alert me, your job will be entirely on the line.” It’s not the same threat he gave her earlier, but her stomach still twists. She moved for this job, she can’t lose it. Maybe Mr. Hood sees that, because his tone gets a little gentler. “How did Liam stop you from keeping Falcone out, if you don't mind me asking?”

At this point, Aspen’s just trying to calm herself down. She's not sure if she wants to tell her boss about her conversation with Liam, to be quite honest, because she's mad at him and all but… now she thinks he might have been doing the right thing. “That’s… well, he kind of pulled me into his office and had a talk with me and if what he told me is true I should be thankful for it.” She tries to make her choice of words sound neutral, but there's no reason for Mr. Hood to question her. She really doesn't want Liam to get in trouble for this.

“What did- it doesn't matter. Sometimes in Gotham you can't tell myth from fact.” Mr. Hood mumbles, face unreadable. “...thank you for being honest with me, and for… I hired you for this and not Liam for a reason, you know that?”

Aspen doesn’t trust herself to speak, so he continues. “Liam’s wonderful. He’s loyal. But you weren’t afraid to stand up to me in the interview, and you weren’t afraid now. I admire that. I just need some of that to come out next time Don Falcone comes into the building, understood?” He graces her with a rare smile and Aspen almost falls over. He was ready to fire her a moment ago, but now she watches carefully and she doesn’t see any anger seething under his skin. She hopes that’s not dangerous, but when he looks at her like that - well, it feels a little dangerous for a different reason.

Mr. Hood is waiting for her to reply, so she wets her lips and makes an effort. “To be fair, I was very afraid to stand up to you. Both times. But, uh, fortune favours the bold. As do ridiculously wealthy CEOs.”

He smiles outright at that. Aspen can’t believe she missed this feeling over the past few days, when he was just- different. She doesn’t know what it is that’s changed, but now he seems like a person, not her boss. It’s exceptional, this brief side of him.

“Indeed.” He says, picking up his pen again. “And I apologize for Mr. Falcone, if he made you feel uncomfortable. He has… old fashioned manners, I think, that’s a polite way to put it.”

Aspen thinks back to “pretty little girl” and almost pretends to gag for dramatic effect. She doesn’t, but it’s a near thing. “Does he ever, sir.”

“Don’t worry.” Says Mr. Hood. “His kind of man, their time in Gotham is coming to a close.”

Later, Aspen won’t remember what he said after that. She won’t remember exactly what she said to make a polite exit, or if Liam spoke to her after. She’ll remember the rest of the day as mostly a blur, almost like any other day.

One thing that sets it apart is that she’s starting to realize that she may have a teensy, tiny, miniscule crush on her boss. Well, not on her boss exactly, not on Mr. Hood, who is cold and inconsiderate and kind of a dick, but on Calum. She thinks she sees it sometimes; the parts of him that smile and tease and try to console her. It seems pretty superficial on her part, if she’s honest, and it doesn’t happen often so it shouldn’t be a problem, but Aspen’s fucking derailed by it right now. Her time at her desk that afternoon is infinitely complicated by it; she’s itching to get him to smile again.

Mr. Calum Thomas Hood is a complicated man, she’s coming to realize, and even though logically, she knows she wants no part in it, that doesn’t change the fact that she does. If he wasn’t her boss - if she was looking to date - if he wasn’t so stern - if she wasn’t so obviously not his type - if he wasn’t - maybe things would be different.

But here they are.

That’s what Aspen arrives at, at the end of the day. She gives herself the whole subway ride home to feel sorry for herself, but she knows she’s got to repress the shit out of those feelings if she wants to hang on to this job.

When she gets home that night, she tells her roommates about creepy Don Falcone, and they tell her that she should be grateful that Liam pulled her out of there. Paige is a journalist, Melissa is a political aide, and they both know more about Gotham than she does, so she believes them and tries not to let the cold reality of this city get to her.

That does turn out to be impossible.

When Aspen wakes up the next morning, Paige is already in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal and her laptop open. Sometimes after some major crime Aspen will find her like this in the morning, typing furiously and half-awake. It’s rarely a good sign.

“You’re gonna want to see this.” Paige says, in lieu of a good morning, and spins her laptop to show Aspen.

“...Jesus Christ.”

“I know,” says Paige, “Leslie thinks it’s the Batman, doing this, ‘cause you know how he feels about corruption, and, well, it’s Don Falcone, but the police are saying…” and she’s trying to fill Aspen in but Aspen isn’t so focused on that right this second.

She knows it’s silly, and she knows she’s paranoid, but Calum Hood had been really fucking angry yesterday after Falcone left. What he had said - his time was coming to an end, or something - he couldn’t mean…

Well, this was Gotham. There was nothing you couldn’t do with the right kind of money.

Aspen knows it’s just her being crazy, but hell, if she wasn’t planning on staying away from Calum before, she is now.

[why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys]

What were you doing in 4th grade?

I’ll tell you what I was doing. I was trying to make sense of why my brother would break into 2 of my neighbors houses and steal stuff. One of those neighbors had a girl in my grade that went to the same school as me. And the other neighbors were like a second family to me. But that all changed. They didn’t want to see us anymore. The whole neighborhood knew.

This is how I found out about it: I came home from school and ran into our living room to tell my mom that I was going to play with the neighbors. My mom stopped me and sat me down. She told me that they didn’t want to see us anymore because my brother had broken into their house and stole stuff. My brother was in 7th grade at the time. My brother had a court hearing while I was in school a few weeks later. Every time I saw the other neighborhood girl at school it just reminded me what my life had become.

We were basically shunned by a big chunk of the neighborhood. Imagine that your in fourth grade and feel constantly judged wherever you go. My mom ran into family members of the neighbors at the stores and she would feel ashamed. I remember many times I caught my mom crying in the kitchen when one particular song came on the radio. She didn’t even try to hide it. One day I came home from school and saw a flash of my brother running upstairs in my mom’s bathing suit. I didn’t know what to do. I ran outside and went across the street because I knew he wasn’t allowed to go over there.

I sat on the curb crying as my brother tried to get me to go back home. Eventually I did. When my parents came home I told them what happened. I remember i smirked as I heard him getting yelled at. You know how it goes with siblings. I didn’t understand why my brother would do something like that and I still don’t. My mom started locking her bedroom door every time they left us home alone. I remember one time they told me to keep an eye on my brother. Basically babysit him. Also I lost another best friend of mine in 4th grade she switched schools and we never really talked again.

I had to deal with what was happening on my own because my parents never talked about it around me. When I would ask a question they would get angry. So I learned to stop asking questions and not tell anyone what happened. As a 4th grader I had to deal with the fact that my brother was in legal trouble and because of that my best friends didn’t want to see me anymore. And you would think that my turmoil would be over by middle school but it wasn’t.

My nighbor’s aunt was a teacher at my middle school. She knew about what went down. But thankfully she was very kind to me. I was still afraid to ask questions about what happened. But she assured me that my neighbors missed me and they wished that circumstances were different. I also made a friend in middle school and she ended up leaving the state. My grandpa (dad’s dad) accidentally ran over my grandma with a four wheeler. (She lived she just needed a back brace for a while.) then he started having back problems so he wore a back brace too.

He is an active guy so he was working in his garage when he caught fire. He ended up having 3rd and 4th degree burns on 20% of his body. Destroying the nerves. The doctors were amazed that he recovered so quickly and nicely.

This situation followed me all through high school as well. But I think I was the only who was actually still dealing with it. My parents had seemed to move on so did my brother. But I couldn’t. Because there was constant reminders in my mind. I still carried the shame and guilt. It also didn’t help that freshman year was the beginning of a whole new situation that would last a whole 5 years. My oma (moms mom) fell and had an open head injury. Let’s just say that my Oma picked on me constantly growing up. I was the only grandchild that she picked on.

It wasn’t in a loving way either. She was down right mean. Telling me I dress nicer. Behaved better. Yada yada. It got so bad at points that my mom and her would get into big arguments that ended with my mom and I leaving their house in tears.

Anyway this woman required constant care and my aunt refused to put her in a nursing home because she is a complete control freak! My mom had to go there everyday to help out. Every year it was always something new with my oma. She broke a lot of bones, had pneumonia, etc. Like seriously this woman wouldn’t die!

This meant I was home alone in the summertime before freshman year. In the same neighborhood. Thankfully God blessed me with my dog. So I didn’t feel so alone. In the middle school years I had made some new friends. But I always stopped hanging out with them. I dumped the friendship cold turkey. No warnings. No nothing...

So my mom would come home exhausted. When freshman year started she was part of the elementary school committee. The elementary school was right next to the high school. So my mom would bring me to school around 7 O’clock because her meetings started soon after. I was one of the first people in school everyday. I didn’t mind. There was a history teacher that would open up the art room for me. Sophomore year luckily one semester I had the same history teacher for first period so I would just sit in the classroom and doodle.

Junior year we got a new building. And I got my car. Now things between my mom and I weren’t good. We would get into arguments in the morning. So I started going to school early again. Also I moved in my junior year. We built a new house and it felt like it was going to be a fresh start. It was but the new neighbors didn’t like that we cut down some trees. They said that they liked their privacy. Well sorry but we don’t want trees falling on our house.

My mom was still taking care of my Oma while my aunt went to work. My mom was retired from teaching. School became my safe haven. I talked with a few of the teachers in the mornings. I considered my art teacher like a friend. I had friends my age like... 5ish but only 2 of them I actually got along with. And today I only talk to 1.

Senior year I decided I wanted to be a social worker. That didn’t pan out. I thought that once I started college that my home situation wouldn’t follow me there but it did. I had way too much on my plate and I was stressed. I became extremely suicidal. It got to the point where I would wake up in the morning and the first thing that popped into my head was to overdose. I started slacking on my classes. I stayed in my dorm room all day except when I was in class. I barely talked to anyone.

After school ended my therapist said that I should go into a temporary counseling group. So that’s what i did. It didn’t really help that much... I started working at the job I have now. I worked here in the summers as well. One summer I was extremely depressed and it took everything in me not to stop on the train tracks on the way to work everyday. Just when I was about to give up my boss put me in a different part of work because they needed a replacement for the week for the guy who was on vacation. The guy on vacation name was Marcos. And the guy who worked with him was John.

I started working over there more often and it really helped. The guys taught me how to relax with my job and worry so much. We talked about the hardships of life. John lost 3 loved ones on 911. And Marcos always has a smile on his face. I remember I started doodling on scrap paper and they loved them. I drew Marcos once and he was so happy! He was like: “John! John! Look! She drew me!” In his Hispanic accent. Marcos gave me snacks and pop even when I said that he didn’t have to do that for me.

Well, last year on July 25 I was working in a different area for a few months. (I hadn’t really talked to Marcos and John that much because I didn’t want to get in trouble with my boss.) John came up to me and asked me if I had heard about what happened to Marcos. I said I had no clue. He responded saying that Marcos committed suicide in June on the 25th. I thought he was joking because he has a dark sense of humor. So I said, that’s not funny John. He was being completely sincere... he gave me the paper with the obituary details on it.

Marcos’ step daughter accused him of molesting her when she was between the ages of 4-8. That was a lie. She did it because he told her that he couldn’t afford to buy a car for her. So she went to the police and told that lie. The truth is that he didn’t even know her until she was 11! His arrest warrant was sent out and 3 days later Marcos went home and killed himself...

I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for Marcos and John, i wouldn’t be here today. They saved my life. And knowing that I didn’t notice that Marcos was gone for a month kills me. I had no clue what was going on during that time. After I heard the news about Marcos i shut people out. I had a new coworker who was trying to get to know me and i would just shut her out for the longest time. She said that she had to keep pushing to get to the brick wall i had put up. I couldn’t handle anymore loss. I finally let her in and we became good friends. About 6 months later she stopped showing up to work. I texted her asking what was going on. She said she had quit her job because she couldn’t work third shift anymore. She said that everyday she got to work and she would start crying. Now she is a mom as well so that’s stressful enough as is.

I started training someone new for three days. We got close and talked about a lot of different things. She missed a day of work. I asked what happened and she said that her mom was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was inoperable. The doctors gave her a few months to live. She stopped coming to work after a few days and didn’t come back.

Now I’m 21, have no clue what I want to do with my life. I want to move to Hawaii and live in a van. Like I’m being serious! It is the only thing I think about my future and don’t want to kill myself. I tried finding careers that I would want to do but that got me nowhere. So I started thinking about if I could move anywhere in the world where would I move?

By the way I’m adopted from Russia when I was 3.5 years old. The first 18months of my life I was severely neglected to the point where I was too weak to even sit up. I also had a sister who was adopted by her dad. (We have different dad’s same moms) she will be 24 in September 23. I don’t know if she is alive or not. So from the get go I had abandonment issues. My birth mom and her mom are/were (don’t know if they are alive either) alcoholics.

I’m not saying that people didn’t have it worse than me because of course some do. But the victims of a crime aren’t just the people who were robbed... the family of the robber are victims too. Feel free to share your stories!

[bi-bi-richie]

The Stars and the Moon, He Hung Them Just For You ( 2 / 15)

“Have any friends, Rich?” Eddie asked gently. He was resting his head on his hand that was supporting itself on his elbow.

“No…” Richie admitted trying not to sound ashamed of his answer. Eddie’s features softened, maybe with pity, but Richie wouldn’t know. Nobody ever feels bad for him, he doesn’t even know what that looks like.

“Consider me your first, okay?”

Eddie… wants to be my friend?

Playlist - Ao3

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12

“Where are you from, Richie?” Eddie asks with a polite tone, Richie assumes Eddie is only really being nice because it’s their first day.

“Uh… Maine.” Richie replied, purposely making his response dry of details. Derry wasn’t anything special anyway, slap on his past and it’s an even worse topic of discussion.

“Yeah? I lived in Maine for some time, Derry to be specific. My family moved when I had barely started my first year in high school.”

Oh. Shit, he lived in Derry once? A piece of Richie doesn’t believe it, he’s sure he would’ve met and remembered Eddie, it’s a small town after all. Maybe they had met once, there wasn’t exactly a range of options when it came to putting a kid in school in Derry unless he was homeschooled.

“Oh, yeah I’ve… been to Derry. Didn’t like it very much.” That last part was barely above a whisper. He didn’t really mean to lie about his status in Derry, but his past wasn’t something he even comfortable thinking about anymore. Plus, what kind of first impression is that giving his new coworker? He’d actually like Eddie to think he’s normal.

“As far as I remember, Derry was terrible. Everyone had something they hated, apparently, they hated my family the entire time I lived there.” Eddie’s voice was a little off at the end, something Richie wasn’t sure of, confusion? Sadness? It wasn’t much like the polite tone he had in his voice before.

“Oh… uh, sorry.” Richie added, he wasn’t really sure how to respond, and he was deathly afraid of saying the wrong thing.

“Don’t be, I ended up living in New York for a long time. My family wanted me to attend college there but I kinda wanted a change of pace, I figured California would be… more accepting.”

Eddie’s expression was unreadable again for Richie. He wasn’t exactly sure what to make of that, what it might mean. Richie didn’t ask though, he didn’t even let himself linger on the thought for too long because he’s afraid of giving into what the back of his mind is screaming at him. He’s gotta keep his mind in check, that meant nothing. Being… that was dirty, and Richie couldn’t hope that Eddie was dirty, that’s wrong.

“Have any friends, Rich?” Eddie asked gently. He was resting his head on his hand that was supporting itself on his elbow.

“No…” Richie admitted trying not to sound ashamed of his answer. Eddie’s features softened, maybe with pity, but Richie wouldn’t know. Nobody ever feels bad for him, he doesn’t even know what that looks like.

“Consider me your first, okay?”

Eddie… wants to be my friend? 

He tenses up at the mere idea of it, but looking into Eddie’s eyes, seeing something he’s never seen before, he can’t say no.

“Okay.”

…

“What’s your favorite song, Rich?” Eddie asked. It was the next day, Richie and Eddie’s second shift in a job that Richie was slowly figuring out.

Of course, he wasn’t figuring out just the job.

Turns out, Eddie doesn’t have friends either. He met someone in his apartment complex named Ben, but that’s it. Richie was actually the only person he had spoken to the whole time he lived there, which, to be fair, was only two weeks. Still, Eddie, in Richie’s mind, could be friends with anyone he wants, Richie wonders why he would even consider choosing him. Probably because they’re coworkers, right?

“My favorite song… changes very easily.” Richie says slowly. Honestly, he really wants to avoid the question altogether, he doesn’t want to be judged for his music taste. Last time Richie told anyone his favorite song, he was called a fag, and that was before he came out.

“Yeah? Mine too. What’s your current favorite song?”

Richie scratched the back of his neck, Eddie was really leaving him no option, and there’s no way he could say no to someone at this point. He really had no excuse. Richie wonders if he’d be able to say no if he was a different person, but he doesn’t dwell on it for long, Eddie is waiting.

“I… really like the song Dreaming of You… by Cigarettes After Sex.” He stumbled on that last word, he kinda forgot the band name could be distasteful to some people. But Eddie didn’t notice, his face lit up instead.

“Wait really? My favorite song is Starry Eyes by Cigarettes After Sex!”

Oh. Oh! That’s not what Richie was expecting at all. He was expecting a weird look and awkward silence, that’s what he was used to. He was so shocked, he almost didn’t respond to Eddie.

“R-Really?” Richie squeaked out, “I… nobody really knows who they are.”

Eddie shrugs, his smile still bright and apparent on his face. “Well, sometimes that makes bonding over it a little more special.”

“We’re bonding?” Richie blurted out before he could stop himself. His face went a bright pink when he realized what he said, but once again, Eddie’s giggling directed his attention elsewhere.

“I guess we are.”

They both looked down with shy, content smiles, and fell into a comfortable silence. One of the first comfortable silences Richie had ever been in.

“So, Dreaming of You, huh?” Eddie said, still looking down. “Dreaming of anyone, Rich?”  

Richie didn’t respond right away. He thought for a second, he thought about his experiences with relationships. No crushes to his history, no friends to stick around, nobody to remember. Richie hadn’t been dreaming of anyone, but looking at Eddie, being friends with Eddie, Richie thinks that maybe that will all change.

“I’m kidding, Richie.” Eddie huffs out a laugh when Richie doesn’t respond, “you don’t need to answer.”

Richie sighs and nods his head, but the fear of him actually dreaming of Eddie floats in his mind.

…

Eddie came in the next day with a smile on his face and a skip in his step, it made Richie curious, but he scolded himself in his mind for even looking at Eddie. Eddie quickly got behind the cash register and dug into the backpack he brought every day to work and pulled out a few papers with words Richie couldn’t properly see. Richie wondered if Eddie had something on his mind, in the past few days they had been working together, Eddie always came in happily. But this was extra happy, something Richie hasn’t seen before.

“Hey, Rich,” Eddie said, calling Richie out of his own head.

“Sorry…” Richie mumbled, feeling a little ashamed that he wasn’t paying attention to Eddie. Shit, that was rude, wasn’t it? Come on, good friends don’t ignore their friends. Does he think I was ignoring him? Should I ask him? No wait, don’t do that, that’s stupid-

“Don’t apologize, you were in your own little world there,” Eddie said with a lopsided smile that made Richie feel… confused. He was never allowed to get away with that with people before, they’d call him stupid and rude, he’d be lucky if they only spared a glare in his direction.

“But anyway, I made this list last night for you.” Eddie handed over the papers he had in his bag. Richie took them slowly, not really sure what exactly was going on. When he looked over the words on the lined paper, he realized they were songs.

Blackout Control - Spendtime Palace

Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys

Boys Got to Go - BRONCHO

Honey - III Spector Lemon Boy - Cavetown

Void - The Neighborhood

The list goes on.

Richie looks up at Eddie with shock written all over his face. He’s heard some of these songs before, but knowing that Eddie made something for him, even if it’s just a list, it does something to him. Gives him hope.

“Thank you.” Richie breathes quietly, Eddie barely catches onto what he says. How genuine his words are caught Eddie a little off guard, he sounds like he’s never been given anything in his whole life. Richie doesn’t know, but that detail breaks his heart a little.

“You’re… You’re welcome.” Eddie says, and Richie hopes he knows that one list just made Richie’s whole year. He made Richie’s whole year.

…

“You ever been in a planetarium before?” Eddie asks. He’s looking behind him at the entrance to the planetarium with a bored expression. It’s late on a Friday night, normally the two would’ve gone home by then, like the people who can actually operate the planetarium. Unfortunately, the boss man (Stan) told the two that the museum was gonna be opened later due to some interview bullshit that the mayor would be doing. The actual boss wanted at least one person from every “station” to stay behind and redirect people to the interview in case they’d wander off and get lost. Richie thought it was bullshit, but he didn’t say anything. Eddie almost did, he’s like a firecracker in Richie’s eyes, ready to pop.

“No,” Richie shakes his head. He knows he wants to explain to Eddie that there were none in his hometown, but sharing details made a red light in his mind go off. Plus, he didn’t wanna say too much and bore Eddie.

Eddie nods his head and hums, “yeah me neither, wanna check it out?”

Richie’s jaw dropped and his voice was caught in his throat. Sneak in? Is this guy crazy?

“Awe, come on, Rich!” Eddie slightly whined, “nobody has even come back here! We’d be fine, trust me.”

Richie had never done anything rebellious before as a kid. When he was young, he was always cautious not to do something that would upset his mom, but he was torn between that option and not being called a “little bitch” by his peers. He’s still caught between that now, he doesn’t wanna get in trouble, but he couldn’t stand the thought of Eddie thinking he was a little bitch. He wanted Eddie to like him, he wanted Eddie to treat him like he has this whole time.

“O-Okay…” Richie says weakly, the nerves in his voice apparent, and it didn’t go over Eddie’s head. Eddie looked at him with stern, serious eyes, and then they soften.

“Rich, we don’t have to go in. I’m just bored but if it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to go in.”

No! He cries out in his mind, man up Tozier! You can do this.

“It’s… it’s okay. I’ll go,” Richie mumbles, his brows knit together like he’s trying to convince himself of his own words.

Eddie doesn’t move for a straight minute. His eyes study Richie’s expression and body language, not that Richie could tell, but Eddie was concerned. Hesitantly, Eddie nods his head. “Alright, Rich, but I shit you not if you get uncomfortable I’m yanking you out of there.”

Richie doesn’t answer him then. Instead, he thinks about why Eddie is so concerned about how he feels. He’s been wondering it ever since Eddie spoke to him, why would Eddie care so much about Richie? Is this what friends do? Richie knows that he cares about Eddie, and Eddie says they’re friends, so it must be what friends do. But still, Richie doesn’t feel like he deserves it, it’s kinda hard for him to go from everyone hating his guts to someone actually being nice to him.

“Come on, Richie,” Eddie wraps his hand gently around Richie’s wrist, making him flinch. Eddie notices too because he pulls his hand back. “It’ll be okay.”

It’ll be okay. Richie likes that, he’s not sure why, but it made him feel… safe.

“Okay.”

The inside of the planetarium was dark, almost pitch black. If it wasn’t for the flashlight on Eddie’s phone, they wouldn’t be able to see a thing. Eddie led the way inside, Richie trailed behind him trying to resist the urge to grab onto any part of Eddie. He didn’t wanna touch him in a romantic way really, he wanted to touch him because being in such a dark, unfamiliar place was scaring him, and Richie didn’t do so great when he was scared.

As they walked to the controls, Richie nearly slipped on his own shoelace, which freaked him out way more than he’d care to admit. Of course, he just had to let out a cry of fear, and Eddie just had to hear it.

“Shit, Rich you okay?” Eddie asked turning around and shining his flashlight on Richie, who looked like he had seen a ghost. He was trembling and biting his lip, if he said something like “oh no I’m okay,” he’d laugh in his own face, it’s clear he’s probably gonna cry.

Oh no, no, no. I can’t cry!

“Richie, let’s go back, this was stupid, I’m sorry.” Eddie grabbed his wrist again, gentler than the last time and easy to break out of. But Eddie doesn’t realize that his simple touch was enough for Richie to halt some of his worries, it made his trembling stop. Oh shit, but he’s still trying to get us out of here.

“Eddie…” Richie whimpered quietly, “I… I wanna do it. I can do it.”

Eddie turned around and watched his expression like he did before they decided to do this in the first place. Richie tried to ignore his own thoughts of my glasses definitely make my eyes bigger, he’s probably thinking it looks weird, or am I making the wrong expression? Do I still look scared shitless?

“You’re a brave one, huh Rich?” Eddie breathes out with a comforting smile.

“W-What?” Richie squeaks out.

Eddie giggled, “come on, I know where the controls are. We’re gonna see space tonight, Rich.”

Richie nodded, still completely confused by Eddie’s previous statement. Eddie walked over to the controls, still loosely holding Richie���s wrist. Richie followed him, as expected, but with less hesitation. He watches silently as Eddie reads over the labels above the switches, figuring out which one would actually turn on the stars without the sound that goes with it. After a minute or two, Richie stares directly at Eddie’s face, he can barely see it because of the lighting, but Richie’s fascinated. He’s so focused, yet excited about the situation, his tongue is slightly poking out the side of his mouth and one eyebrow is raised in confusion. Richie doesn’t even notice he figures out the switch until the bright light of the stars flashes brighter than the sun.

“Shit!” Eddie cries out with a laugh. Richie feels the same, but he doesn’t vocalize it. He won’t lie though, the shock was thrilling, even if the entire situation was terrifying.

“That was way brighter than I thought it was gonna be,” Eddie says with the laughter still apparent in his voice. Richie wishes he could be that carefree, but he tries not to think about it at that time. Instead, he focuses on the stars displayed above.

“I… I like it,” Richie admits, not entirely sure how to express himself.

“They look nicer here than they do in the city,” Eddie states. Richie thinks it’s ironic how stars displayed on the ceiling look better than they do from the ground outside, and he wishes he could say that, but he doesn’t. He thinks Eddie would laugh though.

The stars are beautiful, he’d admit that. The galaxy displayed above comes in so many different colors, Richie doesn’t think he can name them all. The stars litter across the “sky” like the freckles on his cheeks, he thinks they’re his favorite part. The constellations are outlined and labeled, at that moment, Richie realized just how many he had never seen before. The stars are his favorite, and then he looks down at Eddie, and he isn’t looking at any of the stars.

He’s looking at Richie.

“They, uh, reflect off your glasses,” Eddie says, adding a fake cough at the end. His cheeks are tinted red, it makes Richie wanna blush too.

“Oh,” Richie nods, not sure what to say.

“Yeah,” Eddie chuckles a little, “starry eyes, huh?”

Then Richie smiles, recalling how Eddie told him that was his favorite song. They don’t speak after that, they fall into a comfortable silence and watch the stars.

And little does Richie know, Eddie is still watching him, feeling something beautiful blossom in his chest.

[bryncarman-blog]

Hoping the Pond

It has been a crazy couple of weeks since I got to Europe. I have already been to two countries and an island off the coast of Spain and I have fallen in love with every part of it. Today is the first day where I have had time to sit down and really reflect on everything that I have done since I’ve arrived. I just finished my second week of working at Roman y Asociados (Public Relations firm). I am not in a rush to head straight to the airport like last week so I want this post to be about my first two weeks in Spain. The traveling. The people. The work. And of course, the food!

Arriving

After a long day of traveling I landed in Barcelona on the morning of May 30th. I remember being nervous, excited, but mostly exhausted. I had never been to Europe before so I came into this with no expectations. I could not stop staring out the window on my way to my apartment. Everything seemed so chaotic. Mopeds, taxis, compact buildings, cobbled driveways, and people EVERYWHERE. I don't think I realized how busy of a city Barcelona was until that moment. 

I had no idea who my roommates were going to be or how many. All I had was a location. I learned I was only going to have one roommate which I was bummed about but it could not have turned out better. We get along perfectly and literally do everything together. I was excited to meet everyone in my program and get settled in. However, a spontaneous trip to a small island off the coast of Spain delayed the whole settling in part.

Traveling

Palma de Mallorca

I arrived to Spain on a Wednesday and by Friday morning I was on my way to Palma de Mallorca. Until the night before, I had never even heard of the island. When you hear and see your friends studying abroad, you only see the beauty, the food, the sites, and the fun. They always seem to leave out the parts that un-glorify the whole experience. Well, I’m not going do that, I’m going to include what goes unplanned because that’s what makes everyone’s experiences unique. 

We arrived to the airport at 5 a.m. to catch a 6:30 a.m. flight. When we saw on the monitor that our flight had been canceled I thought it had to be a joke. I guess that’s what you get when you book a flight on a cheap airline you’ve never heard of. They booked us for another flight 6 hours later and I began to think is this even worth it? I would only be there for 24 hours at that point. And then I remembered that my motto for this summer was to never say no to an opportunity. When else would I be able to go to Palme de Mallorca, even if it was just for a day. 

It was the best way to kick off my travels in Europe. This island was surrounded with the clearest water under huge rock cliffs. We spent the whole day exploring the island. Our taxi driver told us about a hidden beach that the locals try to keep tourists out of. It was a tiny little beach with white sand and towering rock cliffs on both sides of the beach. The locals could not speak English but we managed to find our way to a cute little restaurant right on the ocean. We enjoyed an amazing sea food dinner and sangria. I had to leave early the next morning to be back in time for my program orientation so although it was a short trip, it was just what I needed to kick off the summer.

I learned that having no plan is actually the best plan, we did not know anything about the island but once we got there, everything just kind of fell into place. Of course, things went wrong. Out flight was canceled, we missed the bus to our hotel, and we ended up spending way too much money on taxis but it was well worth it. 

Bourdeaux, France

After our first week of work, my roommate and I decided we wanted to go somewhere for the weekend. We were open to anywhere as long as it fit with our schedules and budget. Bourdeaux, France was the perfect fit, the wine capital of the world. Again, we did not really have time to plan anything so after work we hoped on a flight and hoped for the best. 

My mind was blown away when I saw the La Garonne river winding through the small town as we were landing. Barcelona is a very modern city and Bourdeaux is about as opposite form that as it gets. Every street is made of cobble stone and the buildings and churches look hundreds of years old. The language barrier in Barcelona is nothing compared to Bourdeaux. No one spoke a word of English so we were really going into this blindly. Every restaurant we ate at we had to point to something on the menu and hope for the best. But I was never disappointed, the food in France was incredible. I thought I had had a good loaf of bread until I went there. The food is so delicate and you can tell they really emphasize each ingredient. I was in absolute heaven.

We walked around the town, went into cute little shops, and ate at the best restaurants. We were in the wine capital of the world so of course we had to do a wine tasting. We were able to find an English speaking tour. It was the highlight of my weekend there. We got to taste six glasses of wine and learn how to do it the “correct” way. See, sniff, swirl, sniff again, sip. The 5 S´s. 

I’m not sure if I keep getting lucky with not planning out details before I travel but I have learned to enjoy surprises and having no expectations. 

Interning

My first day of work was on Monday June 4th. I was nervous about the commute, meeting my boss, and what kind of language barrier would lie ahead. I took 3 years of Spanish in High School but by no means can I form sentences and act like I know what I'm talking about. My work is actually the one place where I feel like I need to step up my Spanish speaking game. Most people can understand me and the assignments I am given are in English but they all talk to each other in Spanish which makes it hard to bond with my coworkers. 

I go back and forth between working with the finance department or the Lifestyle department. On my first day of work I helped with putting together a project proposal for a new mall that is going in in Milan. I got to help plan a trip for influencers and the media to Milan to gain exposure about the new luxury shops. I absolutely loved doing that because I am passionate about lifestyle brands and it didn’t feel like work to me.

A am not so passionate about finance and when I'm not planning lavish vacations for media influencers, I am planning social media posts, and planning presentations for banks and insurance companies. I like the tasks I am responsible for doing but personally, when I'm in the lifestyle department I am much happier. 

After completing my first two weeks I feel like I have grown a lot as an intern. At first I would keep quiet and just do as I was told but now I am coming up with my own ideas on how to keep our clients in good light with the public. The Fifa World Cup is starting today so I suggested we have one of our clients who needs more posts on social media to start a contest to ask their customers to post who they are rooting for to be entered to win a prize. 

I have been surprised with how friendly everyone is towards each other in the office. Every Friday they get together and share one project from the week they are proud of. The problem, their strategy, and results are shared and everyone brings in fresh fruit to enjoy. I am excited to get even more familiar with the culture in Spain and and see where this summer leads me.