#don’t actually want him to win not really. i want sophie to win but he needs to beat garwin!!!

[the-way-astray]

DESTROY GARWIN!!! VOTE WATSON!!! I WANT THAT DOG CROWNED KING OF KEEPBLR

[gnar-slabdash]

I suddenly woke up stupid early on my day off with multiple weird random aches and pains and a revelation about the Leverage chess metaphors.

They’re all wrong.

Look, I obviously adore the white knight/black king motif, and it works really well for that very specific discussion of Nate’s shift in morality and position at the opening of the series. But the show as well as I and other fans have then tried to take that equation and apply it to other jobs and to the crew as a whole. This is fun and awesome, but I believe you’re going to get it wrong every time if you start from the white knight/black king line. 

Because in all other situations, Nate is not the king.

Couple important things about kings in chess: 1. They don’t move much. They can only move one space at a time, and for most of the game they stay in their own little box, well guarded by other pieces. This is because 2. When the king is checkmated (threatened with capture and no possible escape), it’s game over. There is no more hope. This is the sole requirement for losing the game. No matter who else is in play, if the king is down, you lose.

This is NOT how Nate operates. Yeah, he makes the plans, but he doesn’t just hide in the office while everybody else carries them out. He’s almost always right up in there playing the most obnoxious guy you’ve ever met or smashing windows or something. And if Nate gets captured, it’s not game over, in fact, it often isn’t even a PROBLEM. Let’s look at a few times that happens, just for fun: - In The King George Job, Nate’s getting beat up and Eliot slightly panics and is about to run to help, when Sophie says “NOPE, don’t do that, I can fix this without blowing our cover” and saunters in at her leisure. The jig isn’t up and she’s not even particularly concerned about him getting punched. I love it. - In the Maltese Falcon Job, Nate sacrifices himself to save the team. This is a classic thing to do in chess and chess metaphors, but, I cannot stress this enough, you cannot sacrifice your king. That’s just called LOSING. -In The Long Goodbye Job of course the whole con is structured around Nate getting caught. I guess this one kind of makes sense because the whole point is to look like they HAVE completely lost, but then at the end it appears that Nate’s going to secret prison and everyone else is escaping WITH the black book, so they STILL would be losing Nate but winning the job. 

So if Nate isn’t the king, who is?

Hardison.

Let’s look at our points about kings again:

1. Doesn’t move as far or as quickly: Yes, Hardison ALSO gets out there and participates in the cons, everybody does. But Hardison does stay in the background more often, because that’s where his power is. He does the behind the scenes tech stuff and the remote stuff, he can wreck your shop without showing up through the power of the internet. He also does the forgeries of identities and objects, which are also done in his own space. At the same time, he has less physical power and less range -- you don’t want him in a fistfight, or a gunfight, and his grifts are notorious for being a little. . . uh. . . interesting. So he has limited physical range and power but at the same time. . . .

2. The game is over if you lose him. That far-reaching behind the scenes power is absolutely vital for 90% of the jobs. He does the massive amounts of research and hacking legwork needed just to START a job, even before you get to actually completing the job. You are pretty much dead in the water without Hardison. But that’s just from a practical standpoint. Losing Hardison is also a crisis from an emotional standpoint. He’s our moral compass and our sweet baby brother and when Hardison gets in trouble there is no “well he’ll be fine for a few minutes” and no “well he kinda had it coming.” No, when Hardison is in trouble everything else grinds to a halt and everyone comes running. (See: The Experimental Job, The Grave Danger Job, The Long Goodbye Job.)

So like, yes Nate is in charge. But the king isn’t in charge on a chessboard, the king is just a piece with a very unique role, which Hardison fills much better than Nate does. So, now that we have our real king, who are our other pieces?

Queen: Parker. This has nothing to do with her dating Hardison. The thing about the queen is she can do a little bit of everything -- she can move in any direction, making her the most dangerous piece on the board. Parker’s whole character arc is about learning all the different roles and how to access the whole playing field. She’s the only one who plans and executes an entire episode-length job by herself (okay, with a little help from her girlfriend). Plus, the other cool thing about a queen is she has a built-in transformation story -- a pawn that crosses the board can become a queen, which Parker mimics by initially being dismissed as “the crazy one” and ultimately becoming the mastermind.

Knight: Sophie. I know, I wanted Eliot to be the horsie too, but this makes more sense. The knight’s deal is that it’s sneaky -- it’s the only piece that can turn corners -- and it can jump over obstacles. Sophie’s whole philosophy of grifting is that she shouldn’t need to know about safes or security systems, she should be able to bypass (jump over) all that by insinuating herself with the mark (being sneaky by playing a character to get behind enemy lines)

Rook: Eliot. This is the straightforward one -- it goes in a straight line. It also literally represents the castle walls. It’s also so, so fucking helpful to have around, I fucking hate losing my rooks. It’s your solid right hand man, basically. Is this a little reductive of Eliot? Absolutely, but I’m jamming five complex characters into five predetermined boxes, it’s not all gonna be nuanced. And I think Mr. Punchy would like being seen as the fortress that everybody depends on, and to let all the nuance go under the radar. That’s where he likes it. 

Bishop: Finally, here’s where Nate is hiding. While the rook can only go straight (lol), the bishop can only go diagonally. Nothing can be straightforward for the bishop, he always has to come at things from an angle. Like, you know, constantly looking at all the different angles of a situation and finding the right angle to come at a mark from. Also, the bishops sit right in the middle right next to the king and queen. I don’t know that this is historically accurate, but when my dad taught me to play he told me that was because the bishops were important councilors to the rulers, they were the ones who had important wisdom that would tell them the best plan of attack. So the king here isn’t necessarily the one making the plans -- that’s the bishop. And finally, apparently the bishop is called lots of different things in other languages, but we’re operating in English, which means it makes Nate a priest, and that makes me happy.

[the-oracle-at-delphinitely-not]

Panakes Kisses

(Find me on AO3 @ Cabin_10_Camper!)

Sophie and Keefe were hanging out under the Panakes tree, Keefe being absolutely goofy, as per usual. 

“Maybe I should start calling you Shorty instead of Foster,” Keefe snickered. “You barely even reach my chin!”

Sophie rolled her eyes, smiling. “I’m not that short.”

“If you’re not that short, then why do I have to bend down to kiss you?” Keefe said smugly, running a hand through his already tousled hair. 

Sophie huffed. Keefe had a point- he did have to bend down to kiss her. 

“It’s ok, Foster, I think it’s adorable.” Keefe kissed the top of her head. “Little teeny-tiny Foster.”

“Hey!” Sophie poked him in the side. Big mistake- Keefe was a menace when it came to tickle fights. Within minutes, he had her pinned against the tree, arms against her side, smirking down at her. Then, he bent down and kissed the tip of her nose.

“Ok, fine, you win.” Sophie relented. “But can I get an actual kiss now?” 

“Only if you can reach.” Keefe winked at her. What a dumbass. Sophie tried to push off the tree and give herself some height to kiss Keefe on the lips. Key word: tried. She was still a few inches short, and ended up kissing Keefe’s neck instead, right below his jaw. 

Keefe suddenly released her arms, turning away.

“Sorry,” Sophie mumbled. “You know I’m clumsy.”

“It’s fine.” Keefe squeaked. Why did his voice sound like that? What was wrong?

Sophie walked around to where Keefe was facing, concerned about him. 

“Keefe? What’s wrong?” she asked, confused.

“Noth-nothing,” Keefe stammered, avoiding her gaze. 

Suddenly, Sophie realized that Keefe was blushing bright red. Why was he blushing? A theory popped into her head: maybe Keefe really enjoys neck kisses… 

Well, only one way to find out. Sophie thought gleefully.

“Well, if you’re sure you’re ok, I want to try to kiss you again.” she said slyly, stepping closer to Keefe.

“What is going on in that head of yours, Foster? You’re planning something and I know it.” Keefe eyed Sophie suspiciously. “I don’t trust this…”

“Oh stop being a baby,” Sophie rolled her eyes. “After all, I’m just a teeny-tiny Foster, right?”

She stood on her tiptoes, acting as if she was going to try to kiss him on the lips. She stopped abruptly, looking towards the dinosaur pastures. 

“Keefe, is that Silveny over there?” she asked. Keefe looked over to where she was pointing, oblivious to her sneaky little trap. While Keefe was distracted, Sophie mustered up her courage and pressed a gentle kiss onto Keefe’s neck, right where she had accidentally kissed before. Keefe let out a small gasp.

“Foster-” he began, looking redder than Dex’s hair.

“I knew it!” Sophie shouted triumphantly. “I found your weakness!”

“What? No, you just… surprised me is all.” Keefe weakly tried to explain. “I, uh, uhm…”

“Liar.” Sophie smirked at him. “Now I have something to make fun of you for.”

Keefe made a melodramatic ‘offended’ face. 

“Foster, when have I ever made fun of you?” he asked indignantly. Sophie raised an eyebrow in response. “Ok, ok, I get it, I do that a lot.”

He gently traced circles on her back with his fingertips. 

“But don’t knock it till you try it, m’kay Foster?” Keefe whispered in Sophie’s ear. She shivered. There was a moment where nothing happened, and then… Then, she felt Keefe’s lips on her neck, sending a shiver of electricity down her spine. She let out the same small gasp that Keefe had made earlier. Sophie could feel her heartbeat all the way down in her toes.

Keefe pulled away, flushed and proud. Sophie was sure her face was beet red. 

“Not so cocky now, eh Foster?” Keefe teased. Sophie had no response.

Now she fully understood Keefe’s reaction to the heaven of neck kisses

[fluffypotatey]

Leverage 2x02

This show is so good why did it take me so long to come back T^T

Tap-Out Job they say… wonder if that’s bdsm or boxing. ELIOT EPISODE???👀👀👀👀please 🙏 please be an Eliot episode

ooooh Nebraska

IT IS BOXING

idk shit about boxing but my guess is that there’s steroids involved

Oh he looks drugged

Yikes

He’s fine

Maybe dead

Probably dead

God this intro 😂 so cheesy I love it

Oh so he’s still alive

Hmmmmm plant closed, Rucker something…..dots connecting

Ok so Rucker is a big deal wrestling ceo? He want a monopoly 

Awww Eliot geeking out over boxing 🥺🥺🥺 he better play. I want him to. For reasons

He’s been teaching Parker 🥺

Rip Hardinson

“Pilates or yoga?” Nate is so good at playing the ditzy asshole. Like he already is an asshole so it’s fun to see him play it up for cons

Hardinson talking about his special golf balls is so sweet but I have no idea what some of the words he is saying means but please keep talking sweetie

Rucker talking all polite but oh you can feel the anger in it 😂😂😂

ELIOT

YESSSSSSSSSSS YESSSSSSSSS

Jesus Christ what the fuck Rucker

YEAH ELIOT FUCK THEM UP

Parker’s little disguise 😂😂😂

Sophie :( chicken fried steak is good

“I can see you’ve had some training.” “…..some.” yeah some is right 

That’s a nice headshot, Sophie

Awwww Eliot 🥺 he needs to stop acting all soft and nervous I wanna squish him

ELIOT EPISODE! ELIOT EPISODE! ELIOT EPISODE! 

Sophie >:( pork rinds are good

ELIOT MY BELOVED!!!! He needs to stop being so sweet 🥺 Hardinson watch out

“White people doing white people things” 💀💀💀

Ok and how are they gonna steal a concert 🤨

Jesus, dude can’t you be nice :(

HEEHAW??????

Hardinson needing to check his name tag 💀💀💀

is that how tv works???? <- genuine question 

JIMMY YOU SNITCH

JENNY YOU SNITCH

ah shit

Tank, aka the dude who almost killed Mark. hmmmmm ‘spicious

oh come on, Rucker, playing your cards so soon??? you are going to let the con men know you know????  rookie mistake

Ok wait were they actually going to hurt Sophie >:(((((

Ugh Nate stop doing that!!! You didn’t have to let them know about Parker or Hardinson (BUT HE DOES IT BECAUSE HE CARES AND I KNOW THAT BUT NATE!!!!!)

Rucker really wants Eliot lmao

Rucker >:( 

Yessssss I believe in you Eliot (<- just wants to see him fight)

Ok uh, Eliot, I don’t trust this gym 

“I can take the punishment. It’s what I do.” Eliot what the fuck does that mean?????

I swear if they try to drug Eliot

BET IT ALL????? RUCKER????

Rucker that doesn’t sound legal

IF HIS WATER IS DRUGGED IMMA CRY

man I’m stressed

I want Eliot to win actually 

HE IS BLEEDING

NOOOOOOOOOO

I FUCKINH KNEW IT

is Tank dead????? 

OH SHIT 

ELIOT NO

NOOOOOOOOOOO HE IS SO SAD

of course he’s running lol

Ok but what if Tank isn’t dead and this was all a ploy

IS IT??????

I fucking knew it

PARKER

AND A SAX???????

I fucking knew the bet was through Hardinson!!!!!!

“Where’s your cousin Jinny now?” I LOVE HIM

AWWWWWWWWW happy ending 🥺🥺🥺🥺

YAY SHE LIKES PORK RINDS

General thoughts

ELIOT EPISODE!!!!!! It’s kind of sweet how we sort of know when each episode will focus on each character. Like Eliot is when they go rural, and Nate is if there are children. So I can now check off boxer after horse girl with Eliot ✅ and it’s interesting how can still see a strain on Sophie and Eliot’s dynamic but this time doesn’t have to do with betrayal but just understanding now. 

And ough the way Eliot plays the skittish dude who works under Nate out of debt for the com was just *chef’s kiss* I would have fallen for that persona instantly if he played THAG on me. The way this team would have conned me so bad if I was their target lol 

But yeah, this episode was so fun and I can’t believe I was fooled into the “Eliot got drugged” scene because these guys are smart!!!!! They would know he would play this and they just pretended like Rucker fooled them and AGHHHHH 🤧 lmao on to next episode 

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I have weirdly posted very little on Tumblr about the current Taskmaster season, despite being absolutely obsessed with it. I’ve been enjoying it hugely, but every time I go to write a post about it, I get in my head about whether I’m enjoying it wrong. I need to stop reading the internet.

So I’m liveblogging this episode, like I used to do. Because it’s fun. Thoughts on Taskmaster s17e06, written as I watch it:

- That intro was the funniest one they’ve had in a while. The aunt relay story was like the Platonic ideal of Taskmaster intro Alex banter. Great start.

- John Robins is, as I expected and specifically called (you have to call it so you can have the bragging rights if you’re right and never bring it up again if you’re wrong), absolutely killing it, points-wise, throughout this season of Taskmaster. But his prize tasks aren’t what I was expecting, especially since good prize tasks are usually correlated strongly to a contestant who cares a lot about winning, as the others just fill in the list without much thought. John started really strong with the diaries, and since then has just brought in things that float around the internet four separate times. I would like to see the rest of his Taskmaster meme collection thought.

- And Nick brought in an ice cube, so maybe John’s still in the game. Quite funny how he sold that though, his entire face swearing that this is definitely a reasonable thing to do.

Look, I’m trying to stop drinking, and I am definitely over the mentality I had in my twenties, about how you have to drink things “properly”, where “properly” means never diluting the alcohol content because, to quote Lord Gregory Davies, “I’m not a pussy”. My days of believing that sort of thing are long over, I swear. Or I thought they were, until I saw this. Don’t put ice in wine, guys. Obviously. Don’t put ice in wine.

- Ohhh, this is that episode Joanne was talking about on the podcast, where they refer to the prizes as “presents for Greg”. Good stuff, that was funny.

- The contestants who turn up on Taskmaster having obviously never seen it before are the ones where I’m least likely to seek out their other work, because I just cannot believe I would find anything relatable in anything written by a person who could go on a show like that without doing any research beforehand. However, those contestants are often funny in the moment. And Sophie not knowing what prize tasks are by episode six is pretty funny.

- Of the first three prizes, Sophie’s is the first one I’d actually want. I’ve always thought going around in those giant inflatable balls looks like enormous fun, but I’ve never done it. Can’t see Greg enjoying it, though. What a terrible gift.

- Alex’s petulant “They’re not presents!” was also very funny. Strong first six minutes of the episode for Alex Horne.

- I would also like Joanne’s present. And unlike with Sophie’s, I don’t see why Greg wouldn’t. I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t. I shouldn’t want this because she’s one of the two people with a shot at catching up to John, but five points to Joanne. That’s got to be the best present.

- Oh, this is the episode when Steve pulls out that cryptic crossword message that people found back in the fall, when this was filmed. Yeah, okay, I hate to say it but that’s got to be five points to Steve on effort alone. They’re a good thing to get into, too. And it should be four to Joanne; I’ve got bragging rights riding on John but top marks in this one should go to the two people mostly likely to catch him. I’m extremely impressed by anyone who can do a cryptic crossword, much less set one.

- Further to my argument that competitiveness is not just entertaining for its own sake, but it is also funny when done on this comedy show: the look on John Robins’ face after Steve reveals the cryptic crossword and John realizes he’s fucked this one by comparison. You can’t tell me that’s not funny. That is a funny realization to watch come over a person’s face. Also, this is the most I’ve liked Steve in the show so far. That is some proper effort.

- Yep, I hate to say it because of my bragging rights that are on the line, but I think Greg scored that prize task exactly correctly. You’re going to need to pick it up in the studio tasks, John. And maybe stop bringing in shit you found on the internet. I’m fine and invested in the competitive side of this a normal amount.

- I frequently like the tasks in which they have to reference each other in some way (like the season 12 prize task where they brought gifts for the person sitting next to them is one of my favourite prize tasks ever), but I’m not sure how well it’ll work in a season where aside from Nick and Steve, none of them seem to know each other (at least before filming this). In addition to two people not knowing what show they’re on. Joanne’s probably got a bit of an advantage here because everyone knows some stuff about Steve Pemberton.

- No victory criteria specified on the task, so this will be a two-parter. Which means actually, the points may not even be based on how good the hamper is, so maybe that’s no advantage at all. The points will probably be based on what they do with their hampers once they get them.

- Just to be pedantic for a moment: the information is on the task, and the task itself never actually says their hamper has to match the wheel.

- Joanne bringing in that thing I mentioned, that she’ll be able to come up with something for Steve because everyone knows at least a bit about him: holding up a disembodied head, “This ‘cause I know he likes weird shit.” Yep. I haven’t actually seen any of the League of Gentlemen shows, but that’s the one thing I know about Steve Pemberton from outside Taskmaster. If I had to represent what I’m pretty sure his work is like, I think there are probably disembodied heads and other weird shit.

- Steve Pemberton quoting the wrong song back at Alex after “1, 2, 3, 4” was also pretty funny. He’s slightly growing on me this episode.

- Joanne’s first thought of what makes things exciting: tequila. Very on-brand.

- I like the idea of this task, fairly open-ended and leaves room for creativity. It’s not far off from the “create tension” task, or the many similar “make [thing] the most exciting” in previous seasons, but those often tend to be good. And this season has a few people who seem to shine in the ones where they’re allowed to do a whole sketch. Nick, so far in this season, has squandered several opportunities to show off his actual memorization/magic trick-related skills, but has squandered no opportunities to show off his theatrical side.

- Joanne going in a split second from giggling about Irish stereotypes to accusing Greg of racism: also funny.

- And one scene later, we have Nick’s theatrical side. I knew he’d go big on this. Constructed a set and organized lighting and music. Good stuff.

- Sophie might be okay here, point-wise, if she comes up with a narrative to justify the dancing when selling it. But I bet she won’t.

- Having seen her in the studio – and she didn’t. Why did Alex have a pigeon on his head? You need a narrative, Sophie. Greg likes a narrative.

- “And that, Greg, was a thumble brag.” – Alex

Thumble brag, it’s thumble brag, thumble brag of the week!

- Everyone’s very on brand in this task so far. Nick goes theatrical. Sophie does a confused abstract dance-y thing. John goes sporty.

- I wrote that before seeing Joanne in a moustache, doing an unnecessarily complicated game. That’s less on-brand but I like it.

- My reaction while watching John’s set-up: That’s funny, he took the opportunity to turn the tables on Alex, making him read out and do a task. Aw, got the Queen song titles in there, well done. I wonder if they’ll… hang on, are you allowed to just light shit on fire in the grass on the Taskmaster grounds? What the fuck? He says he had a two-hour health and safety meeting to clear driving that car with an egg, but no one stopped him from lighting a fire in the grass?

- I have no idea what the hell is going on in Joanne’s attempt but it’s definitely not a thumb war. What did Joanne think the task was?

- Whatever John and Alex were doing was also not a thumb war, though maybe slightly more because they did hit each other with pretend thumbs. Also, I don’t care whether it adhered to the remit, because that was enormous fun to watch. I would genuinely watch that like an actual sport. I would pay good money for the uncut footage of that whole game. Why don’t more people on Taskmaster hit each other with sticks?

- Okay, lots of things in this episode have been funny so far, but the first one to make me actually laugh out loud was John freaking out about naming the wrong Queen album when asked what a particular song was on. It’s the split-second transition between the confidence with which he delivered his first answer and the panic when he realized it was wrong. That transition is never not funny. The cheeky look on Alex’s face was pretty good too.

- Ugh, they saved Steve for last because he’s going to go really big, isn’t he? He’s been good in all the theatrical tasks so far. I’m not saying “ugh” because I’m not impressed, I just don’t want him to narrow John’s lead in the overall scores.

- Okay that was fucking funny. He went even bigger than I expected, how did he put all that together in that amount of time? Yeah, fuck it, well done, Steve. You made a movie. But you didn’t hit Alex Horne with a stick, did you?

- I’m enjoying Alex in the studio being briefly unable to read the autocue because he’s giggling too hard at Steve’s theatrical production.

- I think I’d have put Joanne on the same level as Nick and John – I’d personally probably have put John one point higher, and that’s not because I have bragging rights staked on him winning the series, it’s because I like watching sport-type-things and people hitting each other with sticks – but if I take out my subjective bias, I think the three of them were probably about the same. Other than that I agree with the scoring though.

- I enjoyed the high five between Nick and Sophie over both being at the bottom of the scoring. It’s always fun when the two lowest-scoring contestants bond over that. John’s only one point up though, rough episode for him. But he’s got a cushion of a few points on his lead overall, it’s all right. Steve was always going to win that theatrical one. Also, Alex just said the word “darts” when introducing the next task, which makes me think John’s about to claw some points back. That’s his thing.

- Oh yes, those are darts in the initial shots. Let’s go, Johnny JR. Here’s where you make up the points.

- Oh it’s a team task. Okay this might go less well. Means he can’t pull ahead of Joanne here. But he can at least catch up to Steve. I bet Steve Pemberton can’t throw darts.

- John doesn’t even get into the dome before informing the team that he was on the college darts team. I’m impressed that he managed to hold back from mentioning that he was the captain. I’m actually looking forward to this, aside from its value as a Taskmaster task. I’ve spent a lot of time listening to John Robins brag about his darts skills, and it sounds like he can back that up, as other comedians who’ve seen him play say he’s good, and presumably Oxford doesn’t make you captain of their teams if you can’t do it. I’m pleased that I’ll (presumably) get to see if he can do it. Or see him fail at what’s supposed to be “his thing”, which will also be funny.

- You know, there is a bit of a pattern of Alex putting things in this season that seem like little things related to John Robins, mainly just little Easter Egg things for Alex's friend. Pickled onions in that glove task, when John is always going on about how much he likes picked onions. The task on the first episode where they had to rank each other by who’s won the Perrier Award (that of course applies to Steve too, but I assume Steve has enough other accomplishments in his career so he doesn’t define himself by it so much). Reading in Welsh. Darts. I would have counted rum being in the gloves task as one of those little nods to John Robins things, though doing that on purpose would be pretty fucked up right after he quit drinking, so I’m assuming it was just a really weird oversight. A really weird oversight. I would like them to include less fake alcohol for the alcoholic, and more tasks based around activities he’s really good at (I’m sorry, I can’t refer to darts as a sport, but it’s a very impressive skill). Mainly because I have bragging rights riding on him doing well. And because I want to see how good he actually is at darts.

- And Alex gets in a mention of John being captain of the darts team, after John refrained from saying so himself. Alex does do this while calling John out for stripping off on camera, though, so it doesn’t come off as that much of a compliment.

- Well we won’t find out if Steve’s any good at throwing darts, but Nick Mohammed doesn’t seem to be. And Steve Pemberton is definitely not much of a gymnast. I wonder if that would have gone better if they’d traded places? Nick’s probably more flexible, but being short seems like a disadvantage, not being able to reach as far. I’d have also expected Nick to be better at the bottle thing, given that he does party tricks for a living.

- I wrote the above point before hearing them have that exact discussion in the studio. I think Nick’s wrong, they had it the right away around. I also think all of Sophie and Nick’s interactions are quite funny. But all be honest, at this point I’m mainly focused on getting to the next part so I can see John Robins throw darts.

- Sophie declaring that she’s actually pretty good at bottle flipping and then immediately tossing it on the ground was perfectly timed. Or well edited.

- I've been avoiding filling the post up with screenshots the way I have in previous Taskmaster liveblogs (mainly because it takes too long), but John and Joanne's facial expressions immediately after Sophie throws the bottle on the ground are pretty funny:

Those are two people who have confirmed they are definitely going to need to rely on darts skills and flexibility.

- I was doing well with avoiding screenshots until I got to the part of the episode where they keep having reactions to Sophie’s incompetence. I'm quite enjoying John watching with dismay as Sophie drops it on the ground again, then as soon as her back is turned, he glances at Alex like, "What am I expected to do with this?"

It was a great idea to set up this task so Sophie Willan can perform some straight-up slapstick comedy in the background the whole time. It's like the time they put Guz Khan on a chair and made him eat chocolates in an amusing way while the other two got on with the task.

- God damn, John. Yep, the man can play darts. It turns out he can, in fact, play darts. That’s pretty cool to watch. It’s not a sport but it’s cool to watch.

- Have to give some credit here to Joanne’s contortionist abilities too. That’s pretty good. They definitely got it the right way around.

- Holy shit, that’s really impressive. I’m enjoying the montage of John smugly repeating “bullseye” but I wish we had more shots of him actually throwing. What we did see was cool.

- Second proper, significant laugh out loud of the episode comes from Alex telling them they have to do it again in different roles, and then admitting he’s joking. Good joke, Alex.

- Holy shit, was Joanne really clambering around in there for an hour? I can believe that, if they had 43 moves. An hour of that would be just over a minute per move. That is impressive on her part, for the stamina as much as the flexibility. That’s fucking cool. I would like the uncut footage of that task as well, please, Taskmaster.

- Oh I like that interior task location. How have they not used that until the second half of the season?

- Ah, that’s where they were going with the hamper. We haven’t had a good “create a portrait” task yet this season, and this a fun deviation from making ones of Greg. I guess there are only so many portraits of Greg the contestants can be forced to make.

So actually, if they were being strategic in the hamper task, they should have put basically nothing in there, to stop their opponents from being able to make anything good. But they couldn’t have known that and it could have backfired if they’d tried. Also I guess they’re technically on a comedy show.

- Joanne’s running monologue throughout this task is horrifying.

- Oh shit, Steve’s isn’t bad. Solid use of banana. Actually looks like a person. Unnecessary detail, as there has been in most of Steve’s tasks throughout this season. I’m a big fan of unnecessary detail. I’d probably quite like Steve if I’d never heard him on the podcast admitting to breaking that egg on purpose. But he did so I still want him to get beat. I doubt he will on this task, though.

- Written after seeing the next picture: definitely not by Joanne, he won’t.

- This has nothing to do with the episode or anything but I like Joanne’s t-shirt. The one she’s wearing. Not anything about the picture she made. The picture she made is almost as horrifying as her monologue while making it.

- Oh, John’s is surprisingly not bad either! It looks like an actual person. An orange person, which is not the colour Nick Mohammed is, but still. To be fair John did have flour, which is an advantage over the others, you can make a proper picture with that.

- And Nick’s is terrible, but his attempt to sell it in the studio is pretty funny.

- Oh and Sophie’s is properly good! Though she also had easier materials. That’s got to be the five-pointer.

- What? Nick over John? I don’t think so. Come on, Greg. That’s the first score I’ve really strongly disagreed with all episode.

- Sophie and Steve celebrating the five points together is funny, though.

- Okay, John’s not fallen that far behind. Only three points behind the top score, going into the live task. That’s less than his overall lead. If this is going to be his weak episode it’s not that bad, depending how the final task goes.

- Oh, I like a team studio task.

- Well they’ve definitely got it the right way around this time, having Nick get covered in rings. The other team might have had it wrong, as Sophie’s slightly shorter than Joanne, but more importantly, Joanne would probably be better at throwing than Sophie. This is one that’s a big advantage to the team of three since there are two throwers, but that’s only an advantage if Sophie can throw.

- That got exciting at the end. I stopped pausing it to write stuff down once they actually started the studio task, because I did end up getting into it like a sport. Maybe too much like a sport, the words “Come on John” came out of my mouth a couple of times before I remembered it’s not really a sport. It’s fine, guys. It’s fine. It’s not really a sport. Credit to Steve, though, the man can throw. And Nick can move. Some good catching from Joanne, too.

While watching this, I’ve thought of another way that competitiveness is definitely funny. It’s just a parody, isn’t it? Parody is funny. You take something that really exists outside comedy, remove its contents but keep its structure, and fill the structure up with silly contents. In this case, a task like this is a parody of sport. The tension, the competitiveness, the physical effort, the strategy, the skills on display, the commentary, the drama – the structure of a sport is all there. But you fill it up with something silly. Parodies are funny, and they get funnier the more seriously they’re taken.

- Oh shit! It’s a Wilkinson situation! I mean, without the drama of the Wilkinson situation, because Steve Pemberton is doing fine overall and doesn’t really need this. But still, I do like it when Greg actually sticks to the rules and disqualifies people when they deserve it. Fine margins, Steve! Fine margins!

John winning team tasks is a double-edged sword, obviously, because it bolsters Joanne's points too, and at the moment she's in second place. But it's not like it would be better if they lost, and I think it's still more important to extend his lead over Steve than over Joanne. Even though she's ahead of them, I feel like Steve is more likely to catch up to John than Joanne is. Partly because of something Nick said on the podcast a while ago, mentioning that the competition in their season was usually between John and Steve. If Joanne ends up winning the whole thing, you'd think he'd have included her in that.

- Oh, and just after I wrote the above point, I played the video again and they showed the overall season scores so I didn’t have to be keeping track in my head. John’s still got his lead comfortably. Getting to the point where Steve almost can’t catch him in the time they have left, though I don’t want to say that yet. Having a task like this that goes 5-0 for John over Steve was big for that.

Joanne could definitely catch him, which makes me glad they’re on a team, so she can’t get ahead of him via team tasks. It’s a good position after six episodes.

- And Joanne gets on the board with episode wins. That’s good, she definitely should be there. And I definitely remember that this is just a parody and not an actual sport. It's fine. Good episode. I am a normal amount of invested in it.

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Things about AWTWB that I forgot about or just noticed for the first time, upon a recent re-listen:

Lady Ruth as an unreliable narrator: “I’m not one to hold grudges” but next page “I would dance on his grave and throw a fiesta and then resurrect him so I could kill him again” (My poor paraphrase) 

Baz, about vampires: “They’re less like murderers - more like sexy bedbugs” 

Baz, about Petra and Sophie: “I thought twins were supposed to be best friends, but all they do is eat jam and butter sandwiches and throw things at each other" (Me, adding to my Jelly Babies notes folder: “Yup, that tracks”)  

Simon (about Baz): “I mean, have a look at him. He’s the most fuckable person alive. Or otherwise” (#facts)

Dev is a PITCH cousin, not a GRIMM fuck me why did I think he was a Grimm sljk;dskljdskjldsaljks

The door knocker for Salisbury House is shaped like a SMILING CYCLOPS (adding to my Rosethorn girl notes folder) 

Simon, to Baz: “I’m not letting you fuck with my face. Although I’m starting to get the feeling you really want to.” Oh-okay, horny boi 

Simon notes like three times in three pages that Smith Smith-Richards is fit like hmmmmmm-kay

Every time Smith Smith-Richards mentions Simon: "I'm not jealous okay I'm a little jealous how is he so hot" they're a li'l mutual admiration club

Simon, to Baz: “I can get one of those poles” (clothes racks) but because of Yuri on Ice!!, my brain went “pole-dancing Simon Snow??” 

Shepherd holds the secret key to being magic even when you don’t speak magic: “The world is magic, and I’m a part of the world.” 

THE GRIMM KIDS HAVE A DOG: “a Tibetan mastiff that they bought when they moved to Oxford.” (In my head canon this dog is named Amblewise, or another name from this list of medieval dog names, THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT)

I continue to have Complicated Feelings about Malcolm Grimm but he is So Soft for Daphne: “He treats her with as much polite tenderness as ever. He dotes on her, in his way. Caters to her every whim without making a show of it.” 

JAMIE knew about the Goats of Watford when none of the folks who actually went to Watford did, besides Niamh, like JKASDJKLDSAJKLSADKLJADSKLADSKLJADSKJL UNCLE JAMBY FOR THE WIN

Penelope Bunce is a Fucking Queen: “Being comforting isn’t one of my core competencies. Breaking people out of towers is.” 

Pippa Stainton is a Goddamn Empress: “I don’t forgive you. I never want to see you again. Tell Simon I say thank you.” 

Simon and Jamie get fucking KFC in a stolen van after the hullabaloo with Smith-Richards and if that’s not nephew-uncle bonding at its finest, I don’t what is 

Miss Christie, the school nurse, is the only person (I think) who basically says to Simon, “I’m sorry for your loss” instead of “The Mage was a flaming sack of shit” 

I’m not crazy… Penny really is a year younger than the rest of them (thought I was mixing this up with Hermione)

LUCY also started Watford a year early fsalkjsadsjlkfsdljkdfs (now I have to go back and fix my timelines for Rosethorn girl, FUCK) 

Just like Lady Ruth, Mitali hoped that Lucy would come out of hiding after the Mage died (just stab me harder in the heart, Rainbow)

I DO really want a fic of bisexual Martin Bunce making bread; I feel like our core competencies overlap in many ways

There are magical swans in Oxford. I bet they r gay

Simon cries when Baz plays the violin 

They're all good dogs, Bront. 16/10 will listen to this audiobook again for like..... the sixth time

[mkiss723]

LitG S8 Max Route

Vol. I-V Ep. 1-15

I chose Jack to couple up with because Oakley can’t take a joke about being a fireman… sorry but it is hot. In both senses of the word 😅 sorry not sorry! But also Jack liking dogs and gardening was such a great initial common interest thing to go on.

Sophie/Jack & Luna/Jin are replaceable after you pick your guy. Whichever couple stays are buttheads to you.

Jack is ok, but more serious than I thought he would be. I miss Jin’s humor so much. I have to say that even with most of the same dialogue choices/banter between us, there is no spark. Which does makes me going full on for Max an easier decision.

Vol. VI Ep. 16-18

Again I did not flirt at all with Hari, but I did pick the options for saying I missed Jack so it pretty much went the same. I’m really just plugging along until Casa… which is next 😆

Vol. VII Ep. 19-21

CASA TIME!! I am choosing all the gem options to get with Max. ALL OF THEM! Bring it on!

E19: Straight away, the fill in the blank game gem option I picked was the “smooch a boy” and wow what a smooch it was! Choosing to share a bed with Max was such a good choice too. He is so flirty and cute! Telling me what he likes was sexy and I agree with them 😏

E20: ooh raunchy races! And this time I actually kissed the others (except Liam cuz I have standards lol) and I did the gem option to win and had another epic smooch with Max 😘

E21: Winners party was fun. The sipping game was fun and the gem selection scene was incredible if you kept flirting *chef’s kiss* Loved sitting with Max and talking and getting to know each other more. He is so flirty and I love it. Slept with him again and did bits with him that night. Worth it! He’s amazing! 😏

Vol. VIII Ep. 22-24

E22: This is where I started to fall for Max in my first playthrough (w/o any diamond scenes & then I started replaying for his), but getting to keep the previous options and choosing the new one was even better. He just gave serious butterflies during the date. Telling about the smile lines, going over the “words” on MC, cuddling in his arms, sweet story of him paying for a girlfriend’s parents to visit even though he was saving, playing with her hair. Ugh my heart! I’m so smitten with him 🥴

E23: We smashed it at the Mr & Mrs game! And I loved all the flirty things we did and said to each other during. More annoyed when Luna took Max. Definitely called her out this time for picking him.

E24: Last night at Casa. Yay! Obviously spent the night with Max and I think it was even better since I got to have all the earlier moments with him too. And hearing him recap them all the next morning and how mushy he was about them all was sweet. He’s just perfect 🫠

Vol. IX Ep. 25-27

E25: This is a short episode. Most compatible with Max of course! Yuck to Liam. Pushed him in the pool again 😜

E26: Brought Max back and walked in holding hands. Sorry Jack. Told Max I’m into him. Obvs! Didn’t argue with Sienna when she wanted to steal Jack. Go right ahead.

E27: Pool party was much less awkward since I’m focused on Max and don’t care what Sienna does. Liam’s question and Luna’s deflection ruined the mood of course. Then Jack asked me that very important question about cracking on in casa…

Vol. X Ep. 28-30

E28: I started this episode off with a big old LIE - told Jack I did nothing at Casa (for reasons that pay off later) Snogged and married Max! Pied Liam cuz who else is worth this one?! And then I sexily pied Max with the extra pie. Yum 😜

E29: Ahhh couple drama! Everyone lying to their partners about Casa stuff. So messy… So glad I’m with Max because we are golden!!

E30: Couple Goals 2.0 was fine. Pretty much the same results except Max and I got voted most likely to marry this time and I’ll take it! And the terrace scene… holy moly Batman 🔥 I loved it and didn’t have to feel bad because he’s my couple and the one I want 😍

Vol. IX Ep. 31-33

E31: MOVIE NIGHT!!! woohoo drama!! Max’s two scenes were so sweet I almost got a toothache 🥰 I have to say that I actually kept the secrets this time around because I wanted to see everything unfold at movie night which was fine… Until we got to mine and holy shit did FB go all out with what they showed! 🫣

E32: Boys choice recoupling and this is why I lied to Jack… he does not pick me because of that lie - which does kill me inside, but I want Max. Only Max. And again, the only time I will thank Liam for anything - so glad he got cream all over us so we could have another amazing spicy scene 🥵

E33: The scene is much funnier with Sienna if you’re coupled with Max because she really thinks we care if she tells Jack?? Like ok whatever floats your boat honey! 🤣 The heart rate challenge is all good this way too. Sienna can have Jack all she wants and she stays away from Max! But OMG Jack’s superhero outfit is so bad 😂 like how could they do that do him?!

When Jin said his dream was to run in a marathon and wanted MC to join him, I almost died. My friend has been trying to get me run with her for over a year but I would rather go on a date with Liam than run anywhere 🤣 BUT Max wanting to go to a concert in the outdoor amphitheater in the mountains of Colorado?? Count me the fuck in 😅 I googled it and it looks awesome!

[ryanwrites05]

June 21 - Slytherin

@hinnymicrofic

A/N: I’ve had this scene in mind for a longer 8th year and post-Hogwarts fic (and ultimately postwar Hinny series) I have been working on. Context here is that Harry is (somewhat against his choice) currently back at Hogwarts for 8th year, and he and Ginny have unresolved stuff going on.

Content warnings: language/f-bombs directed at Harry for, once again, not thinking something through

“Slytherin”

The portrait hole barely opened and he could already feel the tension in the room. He should have expected the reaction, really.

With Auror classes and his own training and studying, he just sort of forgot that he hadn’t actually told anyone else after the conversation with McGonagall, Hooch, Cho and Daphne. It was only yesterday after all.

Plus, he’d been giving her space like she wanted, or so he rationalized. But he knew he should have bucked up the courage and told her directly after McGonagall gave the okay. In hindsight, before would have been better.

But he didn’t. And that was a mistake.

Upon entering the Common Room, he looked around and found Hermione looking at him exasperatedly. Ron was standing awkwardly next to her by the fire, giving him his best you fucked up now look. Peakes and Coote were huddled near with Demelza and Sophie, all avoiding his eye, the cowards.

Then his eyes caught hers and he knew he was in deep trouble.

Definitely should have run it by her before.

Her face hardened immediately, eyes flashing. She took the last few steps down the stairway in one jump and crossed the room quickly.

Hands on her hips that even with her short stature oddly reminded him of Mrs. Weasley, she let him have it.

“WHAT THE FUCK, POTTER?!”

He blinked at her lamely. “I…”

“SLYTHERIN?! YOU’RE FLYING FOR SLYTHERIN?!”

“They don’t have anyone…”, he retorted, but it had little effect.

“I DON’T CARE IF THEY HAD TO SIGN UP THE DAMN BLOODY BARON UP HIMSELF!”

It was plain for anyone to see the anger, the real hurt was much more hidden. He took a step forward and reached out, but her wary eyes and half step back made him pause. He lowered his voice.

“I know what this means to you, Gin.”

“DON’T-“

But, he pressed on quickly. “And I want that for you - I do. But they don’t have anyone. They could barely field a team this year, considering everything. And with Astoria now out, Hooch was going to make them forfeit…”

It was true, Slytherin house barely had over thirty students this year, and eight of them were first years. Malfoy disappeared, and so many others connected to Death Eaters. It was a minor miracle that Slytherin house could even field a team.

In truth, despite those disadvantages, Slytherin had done all right. Gryffindor had won all their matches, of course. Ginny had been nothing short of spectacular, in addition to a fantastic captain. Watching her fly was a thing of beauty, not that that was necessarily new information to him.

But, Ravenclaw had flown well too, and if Ravenclaw won the match by 200 points or more, they would win the Cup, and a Slytherin forfeit only nets them 170. If he caught the snitch early, then Gryffindor wins it all. But if Ravenclaw pulls further ahead or he doesn’t catch it….well.

He knew how much Ginny wanted to win the Cup, what with the professional quidditch tryouts looming and scouts at every match.

“It’s not right,” he continued after a moment. “They don’t deserve that…”.

He had tried to find ways to reach out to Slytherins since the start of the year - to somehow show that he didn’t think all of them were Death Eaters. But they were just as untrusting of him, if not more so, than others were of them. It was all part of the awful recovery from a war kids had no business being a part of.

They stood there, only feet apart, eyes set on each other. He knew why she was truly upset with him, and he knew she understood why he had to do it.

A familiar flicker of annoyance flashed behind her eyes, and her face mercifully softened. She started towards him, but then hesitated again. It hurt. He desperately wanted to reach out to her, to pull her in and hold her and never let go. But he hadn’t earned that right back, not yet.

Whatever it was passed, and she sidestepped him toward the portrait hole. Pausing at the entrance, she peered back but avoided his gaze. “Just let me know when pre-match practice is so I can heckle the prat seeker in green.”

[theajaheira]

i'm not going to be posting this to ao3 until i know what i'm going to do with it, so for now, have it as a special tumblr preview: xander and sonia's first meeting in the 'verse of what you make!

(for those who would like to read this without the larger context, all you need to know is that this takes place post s7, and xander is working for a new iteration of the watchers' council in a slayer-locating capacity.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The girls he met reminded Xander of Buffy in a way that made his chest hurt a little. Though their responses to their calling varied widely, they were always remarkably unremarkable—always concerned with how this would impact their homework, their time with their friends, their bid for Prom Queen—and it always made him think about how Buffy had looked, holding those pom-poms with her chin jutting out. She had been so determined to still be normal, not yet knowing how hard the world would make it to just be.

They were trying to make it better for the girls. They were. But the New Council was still in its baby stages, and the loose framework they’d set up wasn’t always enough to convince the girls that they wanted to join up. Most of their fledgling resources were being devoted to making sure that the little Slayers weren’t going to be walking demon magnets, whether or not they were actually planning to take a stand against said demons. And the worst part was that Xander couldn’t even blame the girls for not wanting this kind of a life. Who would?

Well. Him. But he’d chosen, and they hadn’t. Buffy had wanted to give the girls a choice, and that was what was happening. Two girls of the seven he’d met had chosen, and done so with youthful exuberance that had torn a little at Xander’s heart. More often than not, excited optimism about a calling like this one was a recipe for disaster.

“Are you here for anything?” said the secretary archly.

Xander blinked, shaking his head a little to clear it, before giving the secretary his best winning smile. “Can you, uh, call Sasha Rivera up to the office?” he asked.

The secretary gave him a thoroughly unimpressed look. “No, I cannot, uh, call Sasha Rivera up to the office,” she said. “For one thing, it’s the middle of the day. She’ll be in class. For another—”

“Yeah, see, I’m here on business,” said Xander, flashing his official Council ID in the secretary’s direction. “Our organization wants to recruit Sasha for—”

“What organization?”

“We’re a lot like a Gifted and Talented program.”

“Are you a lot like a Gifted and Talented program, or are you a Gifted and Talented program?”

“Look, I talked to the principal on the phone,” said a bemused Xander. “He said he’d be fine with me sitting down and talking to Sasha about some of the opportunities our organization offers. Is there some kind of a problem?”

Before the secretary could answer, a well-dressed older guy rounded the corner, bustling with cheerful importance. “You must be Alexander Harris!” he said, clapping Xander particularly hard on the back and smiling with unctuous importance. “Welcome, welcome! And thank you ever so much for your charitable donation towards the restoration of our gymnasium! Not that money is tight here, of course it isn’t, but we can always improve upon the existing infrastructure, can’t we?”

“Uh,” said Xander. The secretary was still staring daggers at him for some reason. “Yeah?”

“Splendid,” said the guy, who Xander was now starting to recognize from the briefing packet that Willow had sent them. Principal Tom Sanders. Kind of an asshole, interested primarily in the care and keeping of money, possibly embezzling but nobody had been able to make charges stick just yet. The important thing was getting him to let Xander have a conversation with Sasha, which had been pretty concerningly easy the minute that Xander had made a “charitable donation” to the school. This really wasn’t helping Xander’s feelings about principals in general. “Sophie, why don’t you call Sasha up to the office?”

The secretary’s lips pursed. She stabbed a few buttons on her phone with particular violence, then spoke into the receiver. “Would Sasha Rivera come up to the front office, please?”

“Try to smile a little while you do it, why don’t you?”

“Oh, hey, that’s really not necessary,” said Xander uneasily.

The secretary looked up at Xander and smiled—all teeth, and particularly unpleasant. Xander’s heart flipped over. “Thank you for your charitable donation to Silverfish Middle School!” she said, making charitable donation sound like extremely contagious butt rash. “Sasha will be with you posthaste. Will anyone be looking into making sure she has access to the lesson plan for the time she misses in class?” she added towards the principal.

“Why don’t you ask me that when you’re not on the clock?” said the principal pointedly. “There’s gotta be a separation, Sophie. As my secretary, your job is to make sure Mr. Harris here is able to meet with Sasha Rivera, and frankly, it’s hard for me to see why you wouldn’t be over the moon about her having an opportunity like this.”

“An opportunity a lot like a Gifted and Talented program?” said the secretary.

“Sophie,” said the principal.

Clearly there was something going on here that Xander was missing. He was just about to ask some kind of clarifying question when a girl stepped into the office—tall, gangly, dark hair in two big poofs. “Is everything okay?” asked Sasha Rivera, holding herself in a way that was somewhere between anxiety and defensiveness.

“Sasha, you’ve got a visitor!” said the principal brightly. “This is Mr. Harris of—what was it?”

“The New Council,” said Xander.

“The New Council!” said the principal, clapping Xander on the back again. Xander lurched forward and almost rammed into the wall. “He’s here to talk to you about an amazing academic opportunity that he believes you’re perfect for.”

For some reason, Sasha’s eyes flitted to the secretary. “An academic opportunity,” she said, drawing out the words. “That I’m perfect for. Me.”

The secretary pinched the bridge of her nose.

“…Do you mind if we use your office?” Xander asked the principal.

“Oh, no, go ahead!” said the principal jovially. “Anything at all for such a generous—”

“Great!” said Xander. “Thanks. Sasha, could you come with me for a second?”

“Okay, you know what, I am at my limit,” said the secretary, standing up at her desk with fire in her eyes. “Tom, my name is Sonia, not Sophie, and this is not the way you run a school. Do any of us have any idea who this man is or what his program is espousing? Just because he hands you a big, fat check, you’re willing to let him come in off the street and spend some time behind a locked door with my sister? How is that remotely safe in any way?”

The principal’s smile went all plastic. “Sophie,” he said, “I think you and I can have this discussion later, and not now, especially not in front of—”

“Oh,” said Xander, who had somehow, finally, put two and two together. “No, uh, Sonia, if you want to sit in on this, you definitely can. I didn’t know you guys were sisters!” That did not sound like a thing a Professional Scholarship-Giving Man would say. He tried again. “I mean, look, I can’t really get into the academic stuff until this guy isn’t here—”

“This guy?” said the principal, a little testily.

“Whose office, time, and patience I am very grateful for,” Xander added hastily. “Obviously. I just mean that this is something I want to run by Sasha first, and if Sonia is concerned, as a family member, I can completely accommodate—”

“Now, hold on,” said the principal. “Sophie’s on the clock. I’m perfectly fine if you’d like a meeting with just Sasha, but someone needs to man the phones—”

“Well, if someone needs to man the phones, couldn’t you do it?” said Xander before his brain caught up to his mouth.

Sasha snorted. Sonia pressed her lips together, but her eyes were sparkling with mirth. “Mr. Harris,” said the principal. “I think you should remember that I am allowing you a meeting with one of my students when she should be in class, not suggestions as to how I should run my office.”

“Got it,” said Xander, holding his hands up. “Sonia—”

“Sophie is not a part of this conversation.”

“No, she’s not,” said Xander, not missing a beat. “I was talking to Sonia.”

“You’re a regular little wise-cracker, aren’t you?” said the principal, still with that plastic smile. “Listen, Mr. Harris, that donation of yours doesn’t go far enough to cover my secretary’s salary. If you want to talk to Soph—Sonia outside of school hours, you can, but—”

Ignoring the principal, Xander leaned over the desk, warmed by the fact that Sonia was no longer looking at him with outright antipathy. “I’m obviously not gonna get into the details in front of Principal Moneybags here,” he informed her, his heart doing a funny little twirl when her mouth twitched, “but I would like to talk to you. Both of you. I don’t want to exclude you; you’re involved in this as much as Sasha is. Most of the time, we come to the school, we talk to the girls before we talk to the family, because the girls are the ones who need this information the most. But if you’re receptive to listening, this is definitely a conversation that it would be okay for you to be there for.”

“Mr. Harris,” said the principal testily, no longer sounding quite so friendly.

Sonia looked up at him—gorgeous eyes, Xander thought, as dark as the night sky—and said, simply, ���Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They met at a café a few blocks away from the school, Sasha cheerfully guzzling down a hot chocolate while Sonia delicately sipped black coffee. “I hope I didn’t jeopardize your job there,” Xander started uncertainly, eyes on Sonia even though they probably should have been on Sasha.

“No, it’s fine,” said Sonia tiredly. “I’ve been thinking about quitting for a while now. He keeps calling me Sophie and asking me to handle all the Black History Month stuff because I’d know more about it than him.”

“Which is racist,” Sasha chimed in. “He’s a stupid old racist.”

“Definitely do not say anything uncomplimentary about your teachers within their earshot,” said Sonia, fixing Sasha with the same terrifying Older Sister Look that Buffy had perfected. She looked back towards Xander with a lopsided smile, took another sip of her coffee, and added, “But yes. He is a stupid old racist.”

“…Uh,” said Xander. Usually, the talks with the girls were pretty straightforward. He did tend to fuck something up in the process, because he wasn’t always good at tapping into his inner Confident Xander, but this was the first time that talking to one of the baby Slayers also involved talking to someone this intimidating. And pretty. Intimidatingly pretty. That described this situation very well. “So. Look. I have something I need to talk to Sasha about.”

“Really,” said Sonia.

“Soso, don’t be mean,” said Sasha reprovingly, setting her own hot chocolate down. “Mr. Harris—”

“Xander,” Xander corrected.

“Really?” said Sonia.

“Again,” said Sasha. “Don’t be mean.” She turned expectantly to Xander. “Xander. What kind of academic thing am I up for?”

Now came the hard part. “Not an academic thing at all, actually,” said Xander carefully. “More like…” He hesitated. “Sasha, have you been experiencing anything unusual in your day-to-day life as of late?”

Sonia stiffened. Sasha’s gaze went down to the table. “So, what is this, some kind of X-Files investigation?” said Sonia, defenses up all over again. “You’re zeroing in on my sister with your perfect suit and your effortless charm and you’re going to cart her off to a government institution to do experiments on her?”

“Okay, first of all, if you want to cover up the weird happenings, you might not want to accuse me of being an undercover government operative,” said Xander, not sure whether he should be amused or concerned. “Second of all, if I was a government operative, I’d be the worst government operative ever, because I did just invite you guys out for coffee. And third—” Something caught his attention. “Effortless charm?”

Sotto voce, Sasha said, “My sister likes dorks.”

“Stop that,” said Sonia to Sasha.

“Do you not like dorks?” Sasha gestured to Xander. “Is he not totally your type?”

Xander decided to change the subject. Effortlessly. “HA HA HA ANYWAY,” he said, hoping to God that he wasn’t blushing. “UNUSUAL OCCURRENCES?”

“Why do you wanna know?” asked Sasha. It wasn’t as defensive as Sonia, but there was something of a warning to the question.

Relieved by a topic of conversation that wasn’t whatever the hell had just happened, Xander transitioned back into the usual Slayer spiel. “There’s a lot of stuff I’m gonna tell you right now,” he said. “Pretty much all of it is going to be hard to believe. When I’m done, I am going to show you categorical proof that my word is good. If you don’t want proof, or if you think I’m a total nut-job, that’s fine, but you need to understand that burying your head in the sand is going to put you in more danger than you’re already in right now.”

“Danger?” Sasha repeated skeptically.

“Danger,” Xander confirmed. “So listen up.”

[bridgertonbabe]

So after watching a Tiktok of a woman carrying her cat around in a baby wrap I can just envision Sophie bored one day, spotting Colin the cat and having a brainwave. 

Cut to Benedict entering the kitchen and raising an eyebrow when his wife turns around and sees the cat is physically attached to her, with Colin all snug and comfy and purring contentedly against her chest.

“Soph, are you serious?” he spluttered. “You know you have an actual baby to be using the wrap with, right?” 

And Sophie looks at him, hands on her hips, and eyes narrowed. The pointed silence fills the kitchen for several beats but once she realises her oblivious husband isn’t going to pick up on the obvious, she glances down at Benedict’s chest where said baby, Violet, is peacefully resting in a separate wrap. 

“And when exactly do you think I’m going to have the opportunity to use this wrap for the baby it was intended for?” she asked. 

“Whenever you so please?” Benedict scoffed with an incredulous snort. 

“Whenever I so please?” Sophie guffawed. “Really?”

“What are you getting so annoyed about?” Benedict cluelessly asked.

“Ben; you hog her 24/7!” she exclaimed. “If it weren’t for your ineffectual nipples I’d probably never get any time with her!”

“Pft! You’re being ridiculous!”

“No I’m not! Honestly whenever your mother or sisters messages asking how the baby is I have to stop myself from replying how should I know?”

“For god’s sake, Soph. All you have to do is ask -”

“Oh, but I do! I ask you all the time if I could have her for a while and every time you do that stupid little pout and give me those puppy dog eyes and cuddle her closer and say something like but I’ll miss her too much and even when I do find the urge to resist your charmingly adorable emotional manipulation you distract me by saying William’s up to no good and let me forget about having any time with Vi!”

“Okay but in my defence, William is always up to no good.”

“And that may well be - but why don’t you deal with him and let me have some quality time with her instead?!”

Benedict exhaled defeatedly, knowing this wasn’t his argument to win, especially faced with the sight of his wife having to carry the cat around in the wrap as a placeholder for their actual baby. 

“Fine.” he sighed and held his hands up. “I’ll try not to hog her as much.” he relented.

“Thank you.” she huffed. “So while we’re both here, may I?” she asked, gesturing to their slumbering daughter and taking a step forward. 

“Oh.” Benedict shrunk back slightly, his hands that were already supporting Violet (despite the wrap being more than enough to do the job) holding her even closer to him. “I mean, she’s already settled and all -”

“Oh forget it!” Sophie snapped and rolled her eyes. 

“Just right now!” Benedict assured her, not wanting to leave his wife quite so vexed. “You can have her later.”

“You know what; whatever.” Sophie grunted. “You can keep her all you want - but you can’t make any more comments about this set-up.” she bargained and gestured to Colin the cat nestled against her in the baby wrap. 

“Deal!” Benedict snapped his fingers at her in agreement, kissing the top of Violet’s head before he darted back out of the kitchen with their daughter in tow. 

“Well, Colin.” Sophie sighed and stroked the blissfully sleeping cat against her. “I guess you’re my baby girl from now on.” 

A role which Colin the cat chirped in his sleep in agreement with before Sophie carried on with her chores. 

[dontfall-inlove-withthe-moment]

Don’t fall in love with the moment / M.H

Matty Healy x female character

Word count: 1242

Warnings: non for this chapter

Chapter three:

I allowed my body to relax. After all, cuddling with a guy I had known for 12 hours wasn't the strangest thing happening to me at the moment. “Oh hi darling” He said to me in a raspy morning voice, I kept staring at him, i needed to address the elephant in the room, but i wanted to do it subtly, sliding the topic slowly so that way it wouldn't seem like i had stalked everything about hm last night, which i had.

“Are you famous?” Yeah. Subtle. He just looked at me amused “I guess you did your research last night did you?” I blushed, in an embarrassed way. This was weird, very fucking weird.

“Look Matty, I had a great time but I think I'm just gonna leave'' I said. At that moment I realized I was still in his arms, cuddling with him, in his bed. I freed myself from his grasp quickly, attempting for this situation to end as fast as possible “No wait, don't leave ¡This is funny Claire!” he said “No, no, this is not funny this is weird” i shrugged, how could he not see how strange all this was. “Oh come on, just because I'm famous this is weird? I'm still a person you know?” He told me, sounding rather amused than offended.

I let out a sigh. I didn't know what to do, this could be a common situation for him, but it wasn't for me.

“I want to get to know you better” What was he trying to achieve with this? I just looked at him trying to figure him out. “Go on” i said

“Let me take you out, tonight, on a proper date. And then i'll let you decide if you actually don't like me.'' He was such a cliche, I laughed and he looked at me, waiting for an answer. He was dead serious “Uhm, I, I mean” I didn't know what to say. Was I really going to go out with a celebrity? I mean I was the one who wanted to spice up her life, but this seemed kinda public, and was way out of my comfort zone. I remembered he was still waiting for my answer “Yes” I said and he smiled confidently “But, nothing public, I don't want to see my face in any article or rumor blogs” “Deal” he said and it was sealed. I was going on a date with him. Tonight.

He asked me for my number and he said he was gonna pick me up. Matty wanted the location to be a surprise. “Okay. So I'll pick you up at nine and you'll text me your address?” He asked and i agreed

After I left his apartment everything that happened slowly started to sink in and in that moment, panic began to intrude my thoughts.

When I arrived at my place my friend was waiting for me, worried but mostly intrigued. “Soo… Would you mind telling me where you slept last night? But more importantly, With whom?” I looked at her amused. How on earth do you tell someone you slept with an international rockstar?

“Uh, well, you know, with some guy” I said , trying to sound indifferent, not making a big deal of it. “Well duh, I know that. I want names girl, and I'm a hundred percent sure you know it” I sighed in defeat, I wasn't gonna win this one “Matty” I said quietly. Sophie looked at me blankly “Matty who?” she asked, getting more and more impatient with me. “Matty Healy” I stared at my friend, eager for an answer, but her face just gave me an annoyed expression “Oh come on Claire, why do you care so much, just tell me who it is, maybe i don't know him” I just stared at her. Was he really this famous? “No, no Sophie, I'm not lying, I did genuinely hook up with Matty Healy” I said, almost laughing at her.

“So you're telling me that Matty Heally is so desperate that he has sex with randoms he meets in bars?” my friend asked “Well first of all. Bitch. And second. Yes” I replied. This was all so funny, and weird.

We couldn't stop laughing, my boring life had taken a turn in one night and it was the most interesting thing that had happened to us in a while. We continued talking for continuous hours, catching up and gossiping about everything. “He asked me on a date you know” i told her giggling “No fucking way” she said “When?” I looked at her and told her that tonight but she suddenly stopped in her tracks, turning serious abruptly “Are you for real right now?” i looked at her confused, was this a bad thing, a good thing or what “Yeah… Why?” She gasped as if I had said the most absurd thing ever “Why? you're telling me you're not nervous at all. Oh my god ¡We have to get you ready!”

Sophie's girlfriend arrived at our apartment at 6:00. My date was at 9 but my roommate insisted that i had to look my finest and to be honest i didn't disagree, after all, he wasn't just any guy, the situation had acquired a new importance that a regular date wouldn't have normally, it could end up public, a little slip and my face could appear in the cover of a magazine and i wasn't really sure if i was completely okay with that.

I was almost ready by 8:30 but my only concern was not being dressed for the occasion, I mean that would be embarrassing, even for me. I texted Matty asking what to wear but he only replied with a “whatever you want” Ugh, what does that even mean.

Sophie's girlfriend, Laura told me to just wear something casual that I could wear in a pub, but elegant enough for a restaurant, again what does that even mean.

I ended up going for a black skirt, some platform boots and a red top, I guess this could work for any kind of date. Sophie was over the roof, I let her take complete control over my make up and buy, she knew what she was doing. I was so nervous, I hadn't gone out on a date in a while now and I was scared it would turn out awkward or worse, he would get bored of me. God I am pathetic.

When I got the text that he was outside was when the panic really started to kick in. “No no no no no. What if we get photographed? Or he gets bored of me?” I kept asking Lura and Sophie, while I ran frantically in my apartment.

I was getting way too anxious and this was getting out of hand. It was finally when Sophie grabbed me and talked me down that I finally calmed down. “Claire, this is just a date, cut worrying about what he'll think, he's just a guy anyways” She was right, this didn't have to be anything but a normal date.

When I came down to meet him, he looked at me amazed. “You look amazing,” he said, unable to hide the astonishment in his voice. I just giggled and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. We got in his car and I could already sense this would be a very fun night.

Hey beautiful peopleee, I’m genuinely so sorry this took me so long, and it’s also kind of short, it’s just that a lot of work to do and I just hadn’t had the time to finish the chapter, but I really hope you guys like it and always know I’m open to critics and comments 🫶🫶

[alexhornefan]

Taskmaster’s 15th season starts on Channel 4 next week. Here, Greg Davies and Alex Horne talk about this year’s batch of contestants, starting with Frankie Boyle.

People may be surprised that Frankie signed up.

Greg:  I think that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to be surprised about. He’s on it because his children like it.

Alex: He sometimes seems surprised that he’s on it as well. It’s unusual to see him without his dignity and not being in charge but he completely threw himself into it, partly because his kids are big fans, as Greg says, and partly because he really likes the show and I think he trusts us, luckily. But he had to wait 14 series to really be sure that we’d look after him and agree to do it! He’s got friends, people like Sophie Duker, who helped persuade him. It was really nice to see him be his normal self. He brought his kids into lots of conversations during the studio shoot so you see a tender side of him, which was nice.

Greg: I make a lot of jokes in this series about him not caring whether he wins or not but,  he really entered into the spirit of it. It’s not that he was sitting there going, ‘Who cares?’ He tried, and was often bad. It’s nice to see someone like Frankie being incompetent.

Alex: He’s always competent with his mouth though. The things he says are so brilliant.

Greg: He restores his dignity with every analysis… It’s kind of awkward having Frankie in the room to point out the facts. I might bluster over certain things sometimes, then people like Frankie come in and check the facts. But dictators need to be checked.

Alex:  These five actually feel like a really intelligent five. I don’t want to say that they’re more intelligent than others, but …

Greg:  But you are.

Alex: I am, yes. They’re much cleverer than anyone we’ve had. They’re led by Frankie, I think, when they’re arguing.

On the other hand, you’ve got him running around in his pants in one task.

Alex: That was all his idea. I think he was keen to put a stamp on the show. I think he decided: ‘Right, if I’m doing it, I’m doing it.’

Greg: It shows a different side to his creativity as well. His normal act is not a natural conduit for some of the things you see him doing and being naturally funny.

What about Ivo Graham: he’s quite chaotic and anxious, isn’t he?

Greg: Wilfully so.

Alex: He fits a bit into the David Baddiel or Mark Watson ‘intelligent man doing badly with practical things’ but he’s also got a real playful side. I think he’s in control of his badness.

Greg: He’s not cartwheeling out of control; he knows exactly what he’s doing. I don’t think he’s being bad on purpose – but when it’s evident that he’s being bad, he welcomes the chaos. He revels in his mistakes.

Alex:  He was desperate to win it because he knows the show inside-out. Most of his mates have done it and that desperation meant going charging into the tasks and then realising it was too late. He got all giddy and excited and never stopped to think. But he’s a really thoughtful person generally, so that was surprising.

Greg: I think he makes an assertion, he comes up with a plan, and he follows that plan through regardless of new information that might come in.   It’s a Bomber Harris approach to Taskmaster.

Alex:  When he does get in too deep, that’s fun. He’s prepared to go the extra mile more than anyone. He has quite a physical reaction to it. He’s a peculiar character. There have been moments of sadness with him but he has got his dignity as well.

Greg: It’s remarkable. He’s so naturally funny. He does a thing where he throws away a point wilfully in one of the live tasks. It’s one of the most surprising and funniest things I’ve seen on the show. That really wrong-footed me, that.

Alex:  Me too. He’s technically an unbelievably clever comedian.

And then there’s Ghosts star Kiell Smith-Bynoe​…

Alex: I think he’ll surprise people. He’s known as an actor, not as a comedian, but he’s thankfully a really funny person. And he’s got a face that lights up, a real twinkle.

Greg: I always say he adds value in some way to every task. There’s always a shimmy or flourish. He’s showbiz.

Alex:  Yes, he’s a showman. Even the clothes he’s wearing. He’s very likeable. 

Greg: He’s very competitive.

Alex: He’s had a problem with me as well on several occasions, which I found quite funny.

Greg: Which I’ve really enjoyed as well. They turn on me normally around show six, and my judgements get called into question. But he really has had it in for you since the beginning.

Alex: I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong. I have dobbed him in, but that’s my job. I could see you were getting beguiled by him and I had to stand up for justice. He did a few things badly but he managed to get things under the radar by being a bit showy, so I had to make sure you get the full picture.

 How would you describe his approach to tasks?

Greg: Route one.

Alex:  Yes. He’s got such a confused face.

Greg: And there’s a lot of fury.

Alex:  I think he thinks it’s all against him. He doesn’t realise there’s four other people doing it too.

 And Jenny Eclair?

Alex:  She had the time of her life, both in and out of the studio. The whole show is meant to be doing stuff you did as a kid that you don’t do any more. She’s really throwing herself into it.

Greg: You can really see the inner child in her, and I found it so gleeful. There was one task where she just went, ‘fuck, yes!"’I think there’s genuine glee there. It’s not performance. She’s doing it for herself.

Alex:  She’s quite anti-establishment as a person, so this is a good way of breaking rules and not giving a shit.

Greg:  She’s very, very funny and quite chaotic.

Alex: If you say to her, ‘What do you think of the Nissan Micra?’ she’ll have a story about it, in the same way Greg often has a story for most occasions. She’s got an amazing memory for details.

 Do you think people will be surprised by her?

Greg: I don’t know how people have perceived her in more recent years.

Alex: I’m just really pleased that people will see her being funny on telly, because she should be on telly more. You’re seeing the true Jenny, I think.

Greg: And carefree. Not being associated with being grumpy and menopausal. What she is on our show is someone who loves life. She spends a lot of time laughing.

Alex: She had a grandchild during the filming. It’s quite nice when Taskmaster fits around people’s lives, and you can see their lives in the show. Her grandson has come up to the show a couple of times. I do like that.

Finally, Mae Martin…

Alex:  Yes, they’re quite hard to pin down because they had a really good approach to the tasks, almost more than anyone. They read it and think, ‘Yes, I know how to do this.’ They sometimes think they’re taking it too seriously.

Greg: But we like that, don’t we? They’re quite forensic in the way they approach tasks. But then there are flashes of mischief: understated mischief. And they’ll often throw in a very clever call-back or a very witty line.

Alex: They’re very good at bending the rules and going the extra mile. Also, it’s worth mentioning they were much better by themselves than with the team. They found it quite frustrating to be with their team. And that was really funny. Also Mae is really good friends with Charlotte Ritchie and Kiell, so it’s good to see someone who’s had history with the show and came in with a slight mindset. I like that.

[businesstiramisu]

Okay I rewrote the post. Thoughts on the last tenth (or so) of Worth the Candle:

[I don't really expect this to be interesting to anyone except me, but i do want to save these for future me, lol]

 I found the ttrpg Fel See Incident much more satisfying than the Aerb version. No, not satisfying, it was horrible. But it was exactly what the story had been building it up to be, for 1 million plus words, and that's quite an accomplishment. Whereas the Fel Seed of Aerb.... I think the problem is scope creep? When the stakes get Too High and the antagonists (or protagonists, for that matter) get Too Powerful my brain just gives up and I disengage. Like "sure, whatever, just tell me who wins". Whereas the ttrpg version, and the real world-level drama around it, felt horribly plausible.

I did like "we'll win the second time because, if Joon had gotten a second chance at the game, he would have let the players win." That was a nice bit of narrative reinforcement/article of faith.

 I love the Long Stairs. It's almost enough to make me think I should give SCP a more serious look, but I'm still worried the horror will be Too Scary for me. (And don't get me wrong I would hate to play a ttrpg campaign in it... actually, maybe it wouldn't be worse than usual? I could just follow the RDP instructions instead of my usual choice paralysis. well, depends on how often they come up. I probably wouldn't like having to make new characters constantly b/c they keep dying.) But like when Juniper wished they could've stayed in the labyrinth and explored the other cultures living there, I was right there with him.

The final reveal of Uther/Arthur..... hmmm, complicated feelings. On the one hand, ugh! why couldn't he just apologize, and admit to being terrible!! Well, he kinda did later... to Juniper, after they'd spent a long time rebuilding camaraderie and basically giving each other a pass for the horrible shit each considered the other to have done. And that was depressingly realistic. Well, idk that anything in my life compares (fortunately) but the most serious, scary arguments in my life have mostly gone like that.

Juniper and Arthur's ultimate goodbye felt appropriate, even cathartic. Raven and Bethel didn't get anything comparable though. Just Uther brushing them off (or in Ravens case saying "I understand this is hard for you but you've got to suck it up", basically). Which, yeah the world ain't fair. It wasn't justice, though. They didn't get their due like Juniper did.

The final conversation withe the dungeon master was also surprisingly satisfying! I liked it a lot more than when Sophie's World did the same thing. (And I've probably read more books that have the character confront the fact that they're characters in a novel, but that's what came to mind lol).

Maybe b/c it was really funny how the DM told Juniper "you're all characters in a novel I'm writing" and Juniper immediately rejected that explanation as bullshit.

Similarly, the Narrator, as the actual Juniper who was writing WTC

Heaven!Fenn though, felt overly self-indulgent to me. Which is maybe ridiculous, b/c the whole story is an exercise in self-indulgence/self-examination, but i dunno she just didn't work for me

Well, it's pretty hilarious that she was The One Person In Aerb Ever To Go To Heaven, and was always destined to be that one person. Hilarious in a pretty arbitrary way.

Someone in the comments to Ch. 245 or 246 said that "Worth the Candle but Reimer died instead of Arthur" is a great fanfic premise and... i dunno, it would be a massive amount of work, but it's tantalizing to think about. Seems like Aerb would have to be very different with--well, idk, would it be a whole collection of Reimer's characters, since he never seemed as devoted to one of them?-- instead of Uthur Penndraig, but with the themes of putting people on a pedestal, using their tragedies as an excuse to wallow in your own grief and depression and rage, and also the DM presumably having the same goals, I have to wonder how much it would even matter?!

Wow, the void beast was a metaphor for global warming?! kinda kicking myself for not picking up on that. Unless I just forgot about it; this story is really long.

[blackink-onpaper]

The Descend and the Resurface

Damian Hart (Beyblade) x OC

Summary: OC comes from a complex background, and in the midst of trying to save it all and help her family she enters a strange arrangement, which will change her life forever.

Masterlist 🖤

Tags: Beyblade, Beyblade Metal Masters, Damian Hart, Julian Konzern, Gingka Hagane, Jack, OC

A/N: (ambience suggestion) this chapter and the next few will go along with the canon storyline, for this chapter watch Beyblade Metal Masters episode 89 if you like, it’s available on youtube!

Chapter 2

At the airport, I was reliving the events of that night over and over again. I did not feel particularly sad about the breakup, but I was full of mixed and contradicting feeling made worse by my parents. My mother encouraged me to reconcile with Julian, saying he was just putting too much pressure on himself and that I should be more understanding and supportive. Although I do agree and understand her point completely, I truly believe I gave it my all: all my time, all my energy, my support, and I don’t know how much more I could actually give.

In an attempt to see if we are truly meant to be together, I bought a ticket for Excalibur’s match against the US team; after Julian satisfies his fixation on winning he will be more open for talking. As I was boarding my plane, completely and solemly lost in my thoughts and complex feelings, I was even considering if all I’m missing him for is the stable life I got used to, or if I’m even doing this for us as a couple at all.

“Wear something classy for the match” my mom instructed over speaker on my phone, I called her from my hotel room to have someone to talk to while I unpack:

“Yes mom..” I yawned “I’ll wear something light, they said it will be very warm tomorrow” Staring blankly out of the window while my mom gave me a full report on what the Italian side of my family did, I couldn’t help but wonder where I’m going with this plan. If Julian decides he wants us to get back together, I will simply re-install myself into my previous life of arrangements, but at least everyone will be happy, and if he doesn’t I am going back home to my parents lecturing me on how I shouldn’t have let such an opportunity go. Sometimes I wondered if Julian and I would’ve been better of as just friends, or one of those “could’ve been but never was” relationships. Either way, I needed to get to sleep, because tomorrow was going to be an eventful day no matter the outcome.

In front of the stadium, seemingly hundreds if not thousands of people gathered happily blowing whistles, baloons, telling each other who they think is going to win today’s battle. The American fans were particularly loud with enthusiasm, but I really can’t defend some weird statements I overheard from the European fans. Because it was a very warm and sunny day, I wore a linen jumpsuit with an attached belt at the waist, black leather bag and a black leather jacket just in case a cold gust of wind changed the feeling within the arena. Entering the stadium went much more smoothly than I’d expected, judging from the bets and proclaimations going on in front, and I was sitting on my seat in no time. It was hard to estimate what Excalibur’s warplan was for today: perhaps Julian was going to open strong for the team, scare the opponents and lower their confidence for the following two matches so Sophie, Wales and Klaus can take on, or if it would be the other way around. Or maybe they were going to change their plan according to the Americans. Come to think of it, I had never seen or heard of the American team playing. In my time with Julian, I’d been to countless matches but they were usually among European countries, and occasionally with opponents from Asia, the Middle East, Australia and South Africa.

My train of thought was broken because in the row in front of mine a boy with red hair and an unignorable high pitch voice began explaining to his two friends - a girl with brown hair and a pink vest, and two boys: one in a green top with black hair, and another with green hair - how a particular seat is his and not hers. They were an interesting bunch, as I saw them earlier discussing specifications of some Beys that are currently circulating in the championship. But then the boy with the red hair sat right in the seat right in front of mine, almost spilling his drink on my white jumpsuit:

“Wooah! Sorry about that, miss!”

I am an unbelievable idiot! How did I not recognise him immediately: “Gingka Hagane! Is that you?”

He seemed startled that someone had recognised him: “yes yes, please keep it down I don’t want to attract too much attention, heh” he smiled awkwardly.

But from his tone and facial expression, I’d relised he forgot that one time I met him while accompanying Julian to a match: “Gingka do you not remember me?”

A vibrant flush of red, separated by a single tone from the hue of his hair, covered his face: “I’m so sorry, we’ve met before? When?”

But just as I was going to answer, the loud duo of presenters started their announcements of today’s match, with an interlude of what’s happened in the last matches. Gingka gave me a sign that we will talk after the battles, and I gave him a reassuring smile completely unaware that my every move since he spoke to me had been thoroughly watched.

“This is the second stage of the final round! The first blader for Excalibur is the axe of destruction - Klaus!” The presenter announced as Excalibur made their way out of the backstage tunnel and into the view of the cheering crowd. They all looked so fit and strong, yet I could see the tension around them: a need to succeed I was so often a witness to.

“And his opponent from Starbreaker is… whatsup here?!” The presenter protested as the crowd gasped - Starbreaker showed up with only two members. Honestly, I haven’t even Googled them before coming to the match because I thought it unimportant as Julian and Excalibur would crush them either way. But they were definitely not what I’d expected. One of the two that emerged from the dark tunnel was quite tall, with long pink hair and makeup. He looked very unique and flamboyant, but then he began talking in a strange way. Something about the stadium being a canvas? I was impressed to see Excalibur members completely composed, perhaps they were tipped in advance.

Just after the pink hair blader’s metaphorical announcements, the presenter announced him as Klaus’ opponent, apparently his name was Jack. “Well, that should be easy” I thought to myself. I couldn’t stop staring at Julian while Klaus and Jack approached the dome-shaped floor stadium. I wondered if he was okay. My attention was again disrupted by the bladers commencing their battle, which drew my attention to the other American: he was shorter than Jack, blue hair and a fair complexion complimented by a white and gold outfit. Strange how different these two members are from each other. Excalibur at least honoured European heritage by having their tailor make their outfits cohesive in colours, historical references, etc., but these guys look like… As if they were put together by someone else.

[skadi-gemini]

I posted 1,637 times in 2022

That's 1,617 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (1%)

1,617 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@scarlettaagni

@roguemonsterfucker

@spockvarietyhour

@reh-hateshumans

@literalnobody

I tagged 51 of my posts in 2022

#my art - 6 posts

#skadi-gemini - 4 posts

#snowandmonsters - 4 posts

#tumblr milestone - 3 posts

#obsidian and kitty - 3 posts

#gothic romance - 3 posts

#mine - 3 posts

#my ocs - 3 posts

#terato - 2 posts

#ao3 - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 105 characters

#i’d also have a lazy river but then a big ass pool that gradually slopes from a beach to a turquoise pool

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The Phantom of the Opera is having its final performance in 2023 in New York. I am SO upset I’ve never been able to go. And now I’ll NEVER be able to go!

It hurts my heart to imagine him singing “It’s over now, the music of the night!” and there being ACTUAL TEARS in the audience because it WILL BE OVER. Like, that has me crying today. I love this musical so much and it was one of those that was a gateway to Broadway musicals and my love for them. (Don’t get me started on Hamilton 🥹)

I’m just…devastated. Let me spread a virtual comfort hug to my fellow fans who could never afford to go.

12 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#4

It was good to see Johnny Depp winning his case against Amber Heard. Her testimonies were all over the place and she did some horrific things to him. I hope he can now find peace and move on to start healing. It’s honestly shocking that there are people who blindly believed her when there wasn’t any evidence to support that she was the victim. The Me Too movement was something Heard took advantage of to push a narrative forward that made herself look good. I hope more victims of domestic violence will get the courage to step forward and seek justice. This will be the first and last post about this as I don’t want to clog it with this kind of stuff.

13 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#3

My fan art for The Monster and the Butterfly by @theboarsbride on Ao3. I was looking at old gothic romance covers and was inspired to draw this.

I pictured Sophie walking a dark hall with only the light of a candelabra while the monstrous shadow of Edgar in the candlelight, his fingers long, spindly, and clawed like Dracula’s, reaching out to touch her. Her light, however, keeps him from touching her with his darkness. Sophie, unbeknownst to her, also has a shadow that follows in her wake, a shapeless blob created by her own self-doubts and melancholy. In this work I kept her a beacon in the darkness; that darkness not necessarily a bad thing as we’ve seen.

Even though the pointed shape beneath his arm looks like a beak, it’s really not, as it’s just his nose and below that, his chin. I do, however, liked how his silhouette came out Raven-like, harking back to the Edgar Allen Poe tales where he yearned for belonging; to feel like he matters to the world.

I ran out of room to spell “Butterfly”, so I drew one instead. This was drawn with charcoal and pencil, smudging with fingers to smooth out the shadows. Sophie sports a Gibson girl hairstyle and a dress with the silhouette of the area she lives in.

Thanks to @theboarsbride for creating such wonderful characters!

20 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#2

The amount of TERFS coming out of the woodworks concerning trans athletes Lia Thomas is disheartening. I saw it become ugly in a Feminism group on Facebook. They won’t see it but I thank the owners of that page, Feminism News, for supporting Miss Thomas. People only care about woman’s sports when it’s news that there is a trans athlete competing.

Even with evidence of trans athletes having no proven “biological advantage” for having a “male body”, they continue on with their harmful narratives. There is a clear difference between sex and gender which many people need to educate themselves on. By taking part in this narrative, these people, almost all afab women themselves, are helping to promote the bullshit that people like J.K. Rowling spout. It’s harmful and doesn’t make you a good ally with the LGBT+ community.

Do better.

152 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My first attempt at a Capybara! I was heavily inspired by @capydoodle ! Their cute Capybara’s give me a boost of seratonin every day!

I wanted this little guy to look like he was sunbathing in a flourishing spring field.

153 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mkiss723]

LItG S8 Vol. IX

Ep. 27

First of all, I have to assume that Emel and Sophie are interchangeable at this point because the personality that Emel has now sucks. It’s messy and gross. She wants everyone. She was so intent to mess around in Casa only to realize she wants Oakley still, then was still trying to get it on with Kyle and then we come back and she’s talking about Hari 🙄 girl make up your mind! And then she wants to hide everything from Oakley?? No liking her much right now…

I have to admit that now I’m even more curious what’s going on with Sienna and Jin because he told me this:

And then Hazel (who is amazing btw!!) tells me all this:

Which was definitely the opposite of what Jin told me… ☹️

Look at all my options for boys 😅 so many to choose from!! Jk - I just want Jin!!

And clearly he wants me 🤣 I almost feel bad… no, wait… I don’t feel bad at all actually!

This pool game got messy so fast. I am not surprised at all though.

At least Bea called the arse out for it. About time!

I really think everyone should just be honest with their partner with what happened during Casa - they should know it will all come out eventually anyway!! (Don’t they watch the show?!) it’s better to up front about it… I’m looking at you guys: Claudia & Theo and Emel & Oakley…

Haha this was great!! 😘

I knew he would ask this

And with that of course it ends right after Jin asked me if I cracked on with anyone and I have to wait ONE WHOLE WEEK to respond to him and hear his response 😭 Not gonna lie, if he’s done stuff with Sienna then I might die inside a little bit!! I’ve been completely loyal to Jin and only did stuff during the Casa games! I didn’t even pay to win the raunchy races because I didn’t want to do that to Jin!! (Next playthrough however….)

Looks like I’ll be replaying the rest of the volumes several times so I can see how the Max route goes and then replay again and stay loyal to my man Jin 😅

I am enjoying this season so far… but the wait for the next episodes kills me every week!! 🤣