#doktor mgr

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Battle of the femboys

In which Raiden battles Monsoon. Highly cursed.

Raiden (or I should say Jack) had just woken up and was disappointed that there were no beyblades that "he could let rip". He had just listened to some bionicle looking ass mother fucker go on about the importance of memes. "To hell with this!" he thought. "I'll be damned before I let Jack jr. have a tiktok account and start watching skibidi toilet videos!" Then the next thing he knew, an officer had plunged a weapon into his chest. He let out a small moan. CupcakkeI'mHorny.mp4 starts playing.

"Doktor. Turn off my pain inhibitors." Soon a codec window popped up showing a very confused, elderly german man. He begged Raiden not to go through with the decision but in the end relented. If he disobeys the cyborg than he can kiss those left hands goodbye and that just wouldn't be acceptable. He had already moved once and had reconstructive surgery due to his peculiar "interests". If he turned off the pain inhibitors then he could still live a quiet life.

Jack began to moan ahego girl style like in one of his good friend Hal's japanese animes. Since the patriots had taken away most of his body, the doktor thought that it would be best to use the lack of a crotch area to his advantage. No one knew how the cyborg became aroused without a dick but soon he had a soda stream bottle protruding from his nether regions.

He unscrewed the lid and slid in some mentos and diet coke. After tightening the lid back on, he jerked himself like he was using a shake weight and aimed himself at the remaining officers. Within seconds the cap lifted and shot one of them right in the forehead. "Bullseye!" Jack cried. Then the coke began to drown the rest of them like some sort of bizarre bukkake that Pepsiman would be jealous of. Monsoon could only stare in horror. "You've lost your mind."

They had forgotten Sam was there when they heard "Yeah, I'm sitting this one out sorry." He then double jumped to god knows where. Probably to go get more injections for his gluteus maximus. Jack had forgotten that he still had a sword plunged in his chest. He took it out and licked off some blood. "Mmm. Cherry flavoured."

"I've misjudged you. You are like us after all." said Monsoon. Like Raiden, he also had no dick. He then opened up his crotch plate but instead of a soda streamer it was just a juice pitcher. To be more specific, it was the kool aid man. It then came running into Jack and began to wash him away in the warm and soothing sugary liquid. "OH YEAH!" screamed Monsoon. "AND IT WILL CUM LIKE A FLOOD OF PAIN!"

Raiden managed to grab onto a chunk of a building and fling himself back to World Marshal headquarters. "Man, I haven't seen that much red since the time I forgot to go get Rose her tampons." He sighed. A perfectly good couch had been ruined. Oh well. It's not like he hadn't come home before drenched in blood. They would just tell their son that they were replacing their couch again because of his father's work injuries. At the very least it was better than having to deal with his wife's awful cooking.

Monsoon waited for his return only to stab him with his sais. "Does it hurt?" Perhaps he should have thought about the consequentions of his actions. "HARDER!" Jack cried in ecstasy. The cyborg did a double take (which was an achievement of modern medical science since the man had no eyes) and jumped into the air and did the naruto run until there was a good distance between them.

"Look" he said, "I somehow survived during the reign of the Khamer Rouge and then decided that it would be a good idea to join the mafia, and even I think you need therapy!" Jack glared at him with his one eye. "DON'T KINK SHAME ME! AT LEAST I'M NOT A GIANT, WALKING REFRIGERATOR MAGNET!"

Suddenly Sundowner walked outside of the building. "What in tarnation? Christ, what's takin' yeh so long?" Jack was now walking towards his direction. "Well look if it isn't foghorn leghorn. Stop stealing my trench coat look by the way, you can't pull it off." He then began to rub the cyborgs bald head for good luck. "The fuck!?"

Jack then threw an EMP grenade in Monsoon's direction and began to slash at him while Sundowner watched with morbid curiosity. He then pieced all of him together in the wrong places like some sort of child when you ask them to solve a rubix cube. "HEY! STOP IT! SUNDOWNER WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE!?" His partner let out a chuckle. "Now what was that thing yer always sayin'? Something about exquisite memes? I think I'll go get my camera!"

Sundowner then came back and gave a smartphone to Jack. "Now be sure to get it just right!" The man had positioned himself so that Moonsoon's body was now a human chair that he was sitting in while he held his comrades head out like he was reenacting Shakespeare. Jack couldn't believe he was doing this. He groaned and then tapped what he thought was the picture button but unbeknownst to him, it was the record option.

"Are we done yet!?" asked an irritated Monsoon. Jack then threw the phone at his head, causing the man to fall out of Sundowner's grip. The Alabama war criminal began to holler. "Damn, I think you could be a good pitcher. You know what? I'm so impressed that I think I'll let you keep em damn brains." Wow. That had been easier than he had expected.

"Thanks baldy!" Raiden then used his ninja run to make it to the top floor. Now it was just the other two cyborgs left alone together. "What did he mean by bald?" Sundowner eyed his parter like he was blind. In fact, he was blind. "Are you telling me yeh can't see my head?" Monsoon rolled his eyes (if he could have). Am I supposed to? Most of my body is artificial you idiot!

Sundowner scratched his head as a realization came upon him. "Wait. Are you telling me... that yer not in fact a girl!?" Now Monsoon was the one that was confused. "What? No! Why would you think that?" His partners jaw was left wide open. "But what about that dainty hair and slim build!" Monsoon cringed. "So a man can't take care of his looks?" He would have been offended had the situation not been so bizarre.

"No, it's just... uhhh... excuse me, I gotta delete some pictures off my desktop..." Monsoon began to scream at the man. "SUNDOWNER! HEY, YOU GET BACK OVER HERE!"

[zaddyazula]

literally 4 days late but happy 10th birthday to this masterpiece

tier ranking of the bosses as well

at least he uses renewable energy #terroristscarefortheenvironment

[raidendefender]

@piliiiiiconfusionf

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance is a stupid video game and you should play it

[icycoldninja]

To give more love Raiden, may I request for headcanon or fic (you pick which you prefer is better!) of the reader fixing up MGR Raiden and pampering him with love?

Ooooh yes, I chose to do headcannons for this. Hope you enjoy!

MGR:R Raiden x Reader pampering headcannons

-Pampering Raiden usually consists of one of two things, sometimes both. Either A, you'll be polishing his metal body to keep it from rusting, or B, you'll be helping him reattach a broken or dislocated limb; regardless of what you're doing, he's glad you're there helping him.

-If you're assisting him with polishing his "skin", he'll be more than happy to let you scrub his back.

-If you're helping replace his body parts, he will hold your tools with whatever appendages he has left and patiently instruct you on what to do, where to do it, and why.

-He is normally very cagey and closed off towards anyone (except Doktor) who tries to touch his body, but with you, he's more relaxed; joking, even.

-When he's around you, Raiden lightens up a lot more than usual, even reverting back to his old, kinda goofy self that he claimed to have left behind "in the past".

-He likes having you repaint areas of his body whose paint coats have begun to chip away or fade.

-Bonus points if you do his nails tactical claws; it makes him feel beautiful and special.

-He'd do face masks with you if he had much of a face, but alas, he only has two cheeks, one upper lip, an eyeball and his nose, so looks like the only thing he can put on without damaging his metal parts is a nose strip.

-While massaging him with your hands is impossible (since he can't feel anything) using a massage machine works wonders for him. It's one of the few human comforts he can still enjoy.

-Most days, the two of you lounge on the couch watching TV or someting; you with a bag of snacks and a drink, Raiden with a fresh coat of paint and a vibrating massager pressed against his back.

[scratchyemporium]

hey metal gear community, specifically the metal gear rising fans, hear me out:

couldn't raiden play metal gear rising and scope out all the little tricks on his own instead of getting his ass whooped in the game? since.. mgr came out in 2013 but it was set in 2018, when internet is a very modern thing

couldn't he play like.. a lets-play or a speedrun of metal gear rising to help him out instead of crying to doktor and the rest of the nerds back home for better equipment and stuff

idk, might be just me though

[bogorexpose]

Dokter Rayendra Dinilai Punya Pemikiran Luas untuk Umat Beragama

BOGOR – Dokter Rayendra dinilai memiliki pemikiran luas bagi seluruh umat beragama di Kota Bogor. Hal itu terungkap saat calon Walikota Bogor 2024, Dokter Rayendra, menggelar dialog dan silaturahmi bersama tokoh Katolik Keuskupan Bogor di Gereja Katedral Bogor. Kedatangan doktor jebolan S3 IPB University itu, disambut hangat oleh Mgr. Paskalis Bruno Kardinal Syukur, O.F.M selaku Uskup Keuskupan…

[thesnowciphercomedyhour]

Rank metal gear characters in order of who you want to rail(penilely) against a wall most to least 🔫🔫🔫

oh! finally an intelligent question. thanks anon. I have for you here a non-comprehensive list:

Strangelove (I hang onto hope that she's bi)

Big Boss (PW, the height of his charisma and crouch walking)

EVA (MGS3 (have you seen her???))

Meryl (MGS4)

Raiden (Revengeance body, with an ass to surpass Metal Gear)

Raiden (MGS4 body, technically different robussy)

Mei Ling (MGS4 (have you seen her ass? Johnny has!))

Solid Snake (MGS2, his prime unless you're asking Liquid)

Sniper Wolf

Quiet (she'd be higher, but she is covered in bugs)

Olga Gurlukovich

Jetstream Sam

Amanda

Revolver Ocelot (MGSV)

Laughing Octopus

The entire rest of the B&B Unit

Kazuhira Miller (PW)

Naomi (MGS4)

Para-Medic

Courtney (MGR)

Rosemary (MGS4)

Otacon (MGS4)

Cécile

Roy Campbell (Portable Ops)

Gene (Portable Ops)

Decoy Octopus (technically he could rank number 1)

Any given FROG soldier

Mistral

Natasha Romanenko

Kevin (MGR)

The Medic (GZ)

Drebin

Ed (MGS4)

Johnathan (MGS4)

Pequod

Morpho

Gray Fox (MGS1 (he might go cyberpsycho and snap my dick off))

Liquid Snake (MGS1 (he's so much lower in rank than Solid Snake because he'd probably have a complex about being railed))

Fortune

The Boss (Strangelove likes her, but she is like a mom to me)

Emma Emmerich (she is like a sister to me)

Raidenovitch

Vamp (MGS2)

Solidus Snake

Monsoon

Vulcan Raven

N'mani (MGR)

Major Zero (MGS3)

Senator Armstrong

Peter Stillman

Boris (MGR)

Donald Anderson

Sokolov

Doktor (MGR)

Sundowner

President Johnson

Granin

Lyndon B. Johnson (no really)

Nikita Khrushchev (no really)

Coldman

The Sorrow (idk how this one would work. he's probably cold and intangible)

Volgin (Ocelot fears that he'd zap you just by proximity, and I believe him)

/// Psycho Mantis (MGS1) would go here if he didn't hate sex

Fatman (I cannot take his voice seriously)

Metal Gear RAY

Metal Gear REX

Chrysalis AI Weapon

The Shagohod

"Metal Gear" Excelsus

Metal Gear ZEKE

Peace Walker AI Weapon (it's like a mom to me)

Sahelanthropus (I cannot take its voice seriously)

Arsenal Gear (MGS4)

Johnny (MGS4. he stinks)

The End (he is old and might explode)

Code Talker (he is old and covered in bugs)

The Fear (he might poison me and he might explode)

The Fury (his skin is just unpleasant. and he might explode)

The Pain (his skin is just unpleasant. and covered in bees. and might explode)

The Man on Fire (self explanatory)

Huey Emmerich

[kentrix11]

That bit in MGR were Raiden falls of the chopper and Doktor is instantly mouring him by saluting is even funnier when you remember that Dok absolutely knows Raiden can survive that fall since he made his cyborg body.

Dok is just being dramatic for the sake of the bit.

[pepikhipik]

POZVÁNKA

Tento týden je nabitý akcemi HISTORICKÉHO ÚSTAVU FF UK. Zde naleznete přehled toho, na co vše se můžete těšit:

🔵středa 26. dubna 2023 od 12:00 Historický ústav FF MU a Ústav pomocných věd historických a archivnictví FF MU vás srdečně zvou na XCIII. medievistický pátek, který je mimořádně ve středu. Tématem bude Sichtbare Inbesitznahme der adventus Kaiser Friedrich Barbarossa in italienischen Städten přednesená prof. Knutem Görlichem z Mnichova.

🔵středa 26. dubna 2023 od 18:00 Spolek Masarykovi historici a Matice moravská společně pořádají akci Večer s knihou. Bude zde představena publikace Mgr. Věry Slovákové, Ph.D., s názvem Dětství a dospívání poddaných na Moravě ve druhé polovině 18. století na příkladu slavkovského panství za účasti autorky. Publikace vyšla na počátku tohoto roku v nakladatelství Matice moravské.

🔵čtvrtek 27. a pátek 28. dubna 2023 od 09:00 Pro naše současné pojetí politiky je charakteristický základní předpoklad, který se většinou dále nezpochybňuje, že politické jednání je především jednání prostřednictvím rozhodnutí. Lze tento předpoklad snadno aplikovat na středověkou politiku?

🔵pátek 28. dubna 2023 od 14:00 (Ekonomická transformace a deindustrializace jako předmět historického výzkumu)

[humanoidpigeon]

Mini Gear Rising: Revengeance

@armed-saphire​

[armed-saphire]

Tier list I did with @humanoidpigeon except I don’t tell you what about the characters we were ranking

[invenblocker]

Also Doktor in MGR Revengeance.

THE GUY WHO VOICES KRAUSER VOICES CAPTAIN QWARK ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

Did I stutter?

[candymothster]

L0ft finding a video of a baby deer and showing it to Raiden.

Raiden: What is this?

L0ft: deer.

Raiden: and…what about it?

L0ft: it’s adorable and i want one.

Raiden: I’m not buying you a deer.

L0ft, under her breath: mother fucker

And this is a friendly reminder, L0ft is 20.

vid credit @/belle berg on tiktok

[icycoldninja]

What would mgr Raidens reaction be to you slapping his metal butt

If you had the audacity to approach a walking arsenal and slap him in the ass, you would discover that it jiggles slightly. How this is even possible is beyond you, but it's safe to assume this has something to do with Doktor.

Raiden would obviously be very confused and a little upset, since that rarely ever happens, and would most likely seek to return the favor before storming off in indignation.

[autumn-moss]

proposal: we should call pre-amnesia doctor Doktor, pronounced exactly like raiden mgr says it

[windmill-ghost]

I also think Doktor from MGR isn’t currently a train autist, but he was from the ages of 4-11, after which he transitioned into the closely-related Tank Autist.