#dogs are too good for us ;w;

[dandorime]

"I understand it's an unpleasant subject, Agent, but as a clerical matter, you have to put something on file..."

Scowling over his folded arms, Phoenix narrowed his eyes at the white-pink-and-yellow triplicate form Crane nudged across his desk. It was one of those "legal" size papers, the kind meant to be folded up and hidden away in a filing drawer somewhere until serious matters came to pass. It was still almost as blank as it has been when it was first handed to him: he'd only filled out the very first line of itemized boxes stretching down the extra-long sheet.

"I did put something," Phoenix protested, pointing at his scrawl on the first line.

"Yes, I noticed," Crane sighed, "but 'I don't care, I'll be dead' is not the sort of statement the records department is looking for."

"Send it to 'em and see what they do," Phoenix suggested with a grin.

"You aren't the first agent to try it," Crane informed him. "They'll reject this form and send a clerk to stand over your shoulder as you fill it out."

"Aw, nuts."

Like a petulant child being forced to do his homework, Phoenix slowly dragged himself back into a sitting position with an aggravated huff and started to read over the dreaded form once more.

"Funerary Directives" was printed at the top in an annoyingly bold typeface. Just a stuffy, detached title that translated to "what do you want us to do with your corpse when you die", the agent thought. Maybe that made sense for the superstitious and the religious folks out there, but Phoenix? The EOD agent who couldn't seem to stay dead if he tried?

He couldn't think of a damn thing to write.

Eyebrows furrowed, he tapped his pen on the desk as he tried to care about such an impossibly unlikely scenario.

"Did you have to fill out one of these when you were a field agent?"

"I did," Crane admitted. "I expect it's still on file."

"Can I ask what you wrote...?"

"Nothing too formal," Crane recalled, rubbing his moustache. "I more or less copied over the policy on repatriation of a corpse from my time with the service, as I was already familiar with the possibility, and felt it was very rational."

"Oh yeah?" Phoenix's mood lightened at the prospect of one of his handlers' war stories. "And what policy was that?"

"Simply put, that my body is not to be recovered if doing so poses any potential hazard to personnel. No sense sending live men after dead in a warzone, you see."

"Oh," Phoenix muttered, disappointed.

"Otherwise, I'm to be cremated," Crane continued matter-of-factly, "and my ashes buried in England on the family plot directly beside Benjamin."

Phoenix arched an eyebrow, a tiny smile finding it's way to one corner of his mouth.

"Who's Benjamin?"

Crane blinked twice and cleared his throat, exactly the way he always did when his agent caught him sharing a little more of himself than he'd meant to.

"Ah, Benjamin is... was, sadly, the family dog. My dog, really. A whopping fluffy monster, and right clever. Why, I used to ride him about like a horse when I was a small boy, and he'd prance the part like an Arabian stallion...!"

Phoenix settled back in his chair and made himself comfortable as the legends of Benjamin Crane unfolded, and avoided having to fill out his funerary directive for another afternoon.

[princema-k]

so draw your blade, you wretched fiend and let's you and i fight like the dishonourable dogs we are savage, violent, yet free and when the curtain calls, let me put you out of my misery

[moregraceful]

Tagged by @soyouwinagain to post 6 photos from my camera roll in the past week, thank you comrade, I was hoping someone would tag me 🫡🫡 except then I had to go back a couple weeks otherwise all six photos would have been my dog at a cocktail garden.

Ivan Fedotov and Erik Johnson at Flyers training camp, Fedotov in full Russian saint mode; a flower outside of an Indian restaurant; Yankees outfielders running away from each other and I'm so mad I only got them running back to position bc they were being SO cute while a reliever was warming up; Keats at the aforementioned cocktail garden, he was sweatin'; giant rotting boat outside of Ikea; boxes containing all of my earthly possessions.

[boyswanna-be-her]

The dog I've been sitting for in the haunted house is the most neurotic dog I've dealt with, which is really saying something. She's not bad but she IS completely bonkers. And she's not a rescue! Same owners her whole life. How do people fuck up an animal's brain this hard?

The only thing I've seen even close was a rescue dog adopted during covid lockdown who then didn't understand what other dogs are and had crazy separation anxiety.

[fjordfolk]

so this might seem like a kind of random question but I remember a while back you were saying that Luna finds the concept of puzzle toys offensive, while Sparta is absurdly good at them, and I was wondering: how does Troja feel about puzzle toys?

Troja has had a bit of a journey regardig puzzles (and training in general) where a couple of years ago, being faced with unclear situation and doubt she would become increasingly uncertain until she decided she didn't want to do it at all.

Hence why, around her last fear period, if I asked her something she wasn't 100% on or handed her something to figure out, she would go to the bedroom and would refuse to come out until dinnertime.

Now that her confidence is up, she likes it. And she often ends up solving them, but it's 50/50 whether it's on accident and if she's able to replicate it next time. She does her best though!

[carcarrot]

i lied i did watch the oscars

[waywardsalt]

thinking abt bellum v hard. (fyi there are 1658 words under this cut)

there's not a lot of concrete stuff to think abt but there ideas. he's kind of already won by the time link shows up on the scene. he's not really actively antagonizing the world of the ocean king, he mostly just has the ghost ship to go around collecting prey for him while he has the yook and anouki turned against each other and seems to have infested the different temples and whatever with monsters to delay any opposition. is he the one who destroyed the cobble kingdom? they're meant to be supporters of the ocean king so i think we can guess that bellum is the one who tried to eradicate them.

maybe he was the one who... mind controlled? or otherwise meddled with the yook to keep them from checking out the ice temple and keeping the anouki occupied with dealing with them. (tbh theres some untapped potential in the relationship between the yook and anouki) he doesn't really do anything to the gorons but maybe he doesn't see them as a worthwhile threat since they see the crimsonine as more of an artifact and not something they should really do anything with, and link has to pass a test to even be allowed to go to the temple. the cobble kingdom is already destroyed, and it can be assumed that he mightve mimicked their engineering based on eox being the hostile boss of the last temple and turning into sand, suggesting a relationship to bellum, and maybe that he's trying to hide the fact that he's the one fucking with everyone. i'm not even sure if characters (besides the main group) even know that bellum exists until link's quest is more known.

taking a note from the manga, where bellum says something along the lines of feelings of love and friendship creating more worthwhile life force for him, so taking that into account with stuff in the game suggests that he maybe doesnt make his presence well-known to avoid something like a mass panic or a persistent fear in people, which could downplay positive emotions that makes their life forces more worth taking to him along with other worthwhile forces maybe being ones connected to divine power (like his taking of tetra and seeming desperation to keep her specifically, since she's most likely a descendant of hylia's mortal form), so he likely is very hands-off with how he's affected the world in order to preserve the value of his prey, somehow. idk why he turns people into statues maybe its a preservation method. maybe hes saving tetra for some reason or maybe trying to bait link in as well. maybe he wants to grab link, too, but failed to catch him the first time and resorted to allowing him to go down the path of dismantling bellum's work all so that bellum can try and capture him himself.

the spirits he does manage to capture and left alive and instead just sealed away within their temples, which i believe is because spirits and gods and whatever in loz can't really die unless they explicitly permanently become mortal (hylia) and can only really be sealed away temporarily in some form, mostly due to a lot of them being a sort of representation of some part of the world (i like to imagine that demise is the god or whatever who created monsters, he's the father of monsters and opposes hylia due to the way her favored creatures [hylians ig] attack and kill monsters and he wants the world to be habitable and safe only for his creations)

it's probably safe to say that the ghost ship (like. the whole thing) was created by bellum, and in some form is perhaps some kind of living being, hence why bellum is capable of effectively possessing it the way he does, since it's an extension of himself like the boss monsters, it just maybe takes parts from some existing ships, or maybe it's not alive and bellum is capable of creating large structures like that he is compatible with.

bellum himself turns to sand when he is defeated, as well as most of the other boss monsters, but the cubus sisters (who certainly have a relationship with bellum due to having the same eyes and being connected to the ghost ship) do not turn into sand, which makes me think that bellum didn't actually create them; maybe they're corpses or something being remotely puppeted by bellum.

bellum is clearly made up of the sand of hours, a crystallization of life force, and oshus is said to have used those sands to create the phantom hourglass, and the sands are also mentioned to have been created from the force gems connected back to oshus himself, so bellum was probably created from those force gems and therefore those sands of hours at some point somehow (i enjoy the idea that oshus was the one who created bellum; with oshus being our main source of info on bellum, i think it'd be interesting if he was the one who originally made bellum but obscures this fact by just talking about how he 'appeared' and whatnot).

bellum seems to have a weird sort of... inverted? perverted? ability to create life (perhaps a sort of parallel to the one we can assume the ocean king has if we assume that he created the three spirits as well as bellum maybe) but only in a hivemind or derivative sort of way, only able to create things that follow simple commands and when he possesses something else he takes it over. (i like to take him in a more biological or physiological way rather than magical, when he is removed so is the control, but there might be little remnants, but his influence is gone. i take bellumbeck aftereffects to be terrible sickness rather than others going with the idea of taking on some bellum-like traits or residual controls. the things bellum creates can only follow simple rules unless he is directly in control therefore he can use it as he wishes, but if he takes control of something he did not create, it's a bit more of a battle, he has to contend with that other being's subconscious or whatnot and has no effect unless he is physically connected. his control is more limited and ends up incorporating some of the hosts' subconscious desires with some guiding from bellum himself to achieve a favorable outcome.)

with the world of the ocean king being a sort of parallel/separate world to link n tetra's great sea, it's interesting that the ghost ship can be physically present outside the world in which it was created. definitely there can be contact between different worlds in loz (like hyrule and the dark world/lorule in alttp/albw and a little bit with termina if you take that as a literal place and a little bit with koholint and then the twili realm and whatever i'm missing) but it's interesting to see bellum as a villain capable of (in some way) contact and interact within other worlds and drag inhabitants of those other worlds into his own (oshus can send people out of his world, so i assume he can also bring them in, maybe that's how link gets in despite falling off of the ghost ship, unless somehow the ghost ship is still within the world of the ocean king but is also present in the great sea but the area around it is a fragment of whatever part of the world of the ocean king its in superimposed over the great sea... idk) so it's interesting that bellum could bc considered a villain able to tamper with or at least interact with world boundaries to let things in and out, maybe it's something that he is only capable of with whatever power he's attained by the start of the game.

whatever relationship he may have to oshus and the other spirits is not at all a part of the game, but at the same time we don't learn a whole lot about them anyways. there's also stuff with the chief of the golden frogs as another ally of oshus, but i imagine bellum didn't bother with him because he has no relation to the spirits' locations and the pure metals, and zuaz was left alone perhaps because his location is secret, while astrid and kayo were maybe found due to living on a more populated island (more prey for bellum to go after, more people to know about astrid and kayo). a lot of the monsters in the dungeons were probably already there, while the bosses were specifically made to protect what was hidden there, or maybe the bosses came first and their presences attracted other monsters.

i think bellum created the two monsters you fight overseas on the spot; they existed specifically to try and kill link because at those two times (link going to get the final spirit and link going to get the first pure metal) bellum suddenly panics and decides to try and eliminate link at the cost of the loss of a possible worthwhile piece of prey. bellum was probably also the one to begin the rumor of the ghost ship; i imagine he can take a sort of human form the same way oshus can, and spent a bit of time after defeating oshus and creating the ghost ship integrating him within some pirate crew and using them to grow and spread the rumor of the ghost ship, eventaully leading them towards it and taking them has his first victims (and along the way taking the time to foster good relationships with them in the hopes that their positive emotions and feelings would make them more worthwhile prey, back to the manga snippet idea of feelings of friendship and love [and probably positive emotions in general] being another form of better life force).

bellum's cool

[ragewrites]

pair of hounds named Comes-Back and Should Know Better. pair of hounds named Conscious Choice and Unconditional. pair of hounds named Run to You and Six Hundred Kilometers.

[kdrama-movies-more]

[trans-xianxian]

it's always good to foster empathy for animals and I think that there are so many creatures that are far more similar to humans than we give them credit for (or perhaps more accurately that humans are not as special as we make ourselves out to be) but anthropomorphism can truly be so dangerous... it's important to remember that humans are Also animals, but other animals are, obviously, Not humans and we lack an ability to communicate with them fully. trying to shove human emotions onto them hurts conservation more than it helps it. you can never actually know what an animal is feeling or what potential feelings mean to an animal. we can Guess, but broad and vague descriptors of behavior are always better than assigning human emotions that can have dangerous implications. a shark is not "angry", it is acting aggressively towards something, a lion is not a cold blooded killer, it is hunting for food. once you try to give animals morals or try to moralize their actions you enter very dangerous territory, especially if you're just like. a random person on the internet and not a scientist that studies animal behavior

[nomaishuttle]

the list Yahaha...

[wakanai]

please don't mind me, I'm going to pull a Dazai and be embarassing as hell.

@bunglegaydogs this is for you 🎸😘

okay so basically

tumblr has a history of erasing tags and getting errors when they're too long so i screenshotted just in case.

And guess what. that's exactly what happened. (+1 to my Dazai points)

for the last one, i want to add that i think u prob did it to make me feel better cause legit the random posts with 0 notes that were just meant for venting suddenly got liked by you. and one time i remember you spam liked a LOT of my posts like??????

that or maybe you could relate to them IDK.

whichever it is, i appreciate it dude 🤘💕

guess who made one of those ask game things :] yknow cause why not

you know the drill

[snekdood]

i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.

[wellnesscard]

if you guys want a guy thats the sweetest snuggler and so spunky and hilarious still at 10y old get u a chiweenie

[lovesong]

how did i let myself become so horrifically pathetically in love with a guy who turned me down over a year ago i'm such a moron. like i've really sat here & let him break my heart over & over just because he's nice to me & likes touching me & having sex with me sometimes. . but in my defence how am i supposed to get over him when he's so sweet & smart & patient & understanding & he tips his head back when he laughs & always smells like laundry & puts sugar in his hot chocolate & can't sit still & tries so so hard & cares so much & knows just what to say & tells me i'm amazing & rubs my back & hugs me from behind when i'm sad & lets me keep his clothes & hold his hand when i have a panic attack & gets me water & he knows how to belong everywhere in the world & reads entire books to try to understand me better & his arms are the safest place i've ever been & being touched by him is like being water kissed by sunlight like 😐😐 god really said i crafted an angel out of my spare sunshine & i'm sending him to you & you get to touch him & be loved by him but you don't get to keep him & he was never really yours to begin with & now you just have to move on with your life like anything else could ever compare & figure out how to be just friends & watch him move on when you've felt the warmth of his affection & been so close to being his & you know what it feels like to have his hands & his mouth everywhere & drift off in his arms & the only place you know where to live is his lap & with his hand in yours but you can never go back there & sometimes it will feel okay because he's still your best friend & he'll pick you up & spin you around & play with your hair & say all the same reassuring words & be funny & charming & lovely but then sometimes the distance will drown you & you'll sob yourself to sleep & when he's there you'll have to hold back your tears & know that your hurt is hurting him but have no way of stopping it & not know how to live & what to do with your hands & who to run to when the one you used to run to is right there but just out of reach & only ever gonna get further & further away from you & will find someone to hold who he feels something real for & will leave with her someday & not you & you just have to be okay with it all & pretend like the hurt & the jealousy aren't making your heart bruise like a piece of fruit he picked up for a while but decided he didn't want after all 🫶🫶

[jvzebel-x]

🦋