#does what it says on the tin btw

[davepaste]

Firefox for Android added the ability to install non-official extensions again and it's been so long my beloved bypass-paywalls-clean

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I’m so sorry for this guys but

AITA for telling someone their horse was masturbating?

Basically does what it says on the tin. For those of you who don’t know horses can masturbate. It’s most common in male horses under the age of three who have not had their testicles removed and who are confined to a stall or small pen and get really bored. They typically grow out of the behaviour once they’re older or given more freedom. Some owners try to train them to stop it from happening but most just ignore it because it’s better than other boredom behaviours like cribbing and wind-sucking (both are SFW to Google btw).

Anyway, I’m a groom and stable hand, mid-twenties now but been working at my job since I was fifteen (part-time then, now full-time). The stable I work at boards horses and gives lessons but also offers training for young horses, so we get a lot of OTTB here ��� that is “off-the-track Thoroughbreds”, so ex-racing horses that people typically buy cheap and then retrain to be show jumpers or dressage horses or whatever. One such horse is Bert, who is the horse in question in this situation.

Bert has excellent bloodlines but he sucked as a racing horse so he was sold OTT. The man who bought him, I’ll just call him John, knows nothing about horses – he’s a total beginner in every way, has never ridden and pays other people (including me) to take care of Bert, but claims to be an expert in everything equine because Bert cost him so much money (I don’t know the actual amount but he’s in the section of the stable where the $20,000 Warmbloods are boarded so I’m assuming around that amount which is a lot yes but also not the most expensive horse we’ve had here).

Anyway the actual story – I’m at work cleaning out stalls when John walks past, he completely ignores me as he always does so I do the same and get back to work. A few minutes later he goes sprinting back in the opposite direction which I thought was weird but whatever, I kept mucking, until I heard him shouting for help. I went out into the aisle and he’s there shouting at another groom and demanding to know the emergency vets number (it was a weekday morning btw, so he didn’t need the emergency vet, he just needed the regular vet but that’s meaningless anyway). I went over to see what was happening and he tells me his horse (Bert) is ‘acting weird’ and needs a vet immediately, so I offer to go see Bert for myself and then call the vet if necessary.

So basically yeah Bert was masturbating. Had an erection, was rocking about rubbing it on his tummy, and did NOT want anyone going in his stall or touching him. John points at Bert and says something like “see, he’s sick!” and then tells me Bert tried to attack him when he entered the stall and I just, I dunno, I cough and say that Bert is fine and just wants some privacy right now, figuring that the obvious erection might be a giveaway as to what’s happening? But John turned to me and blurts out word for word “are you an actual retard” and then starts cursing at me and telling me I know nothing and Bert needs a vet etc and so on. I kind of blanked on everything else he said after he called me a retard to be honest because WTF? I don’t really know what went on in my brain in the next few seconds but I ended up shouting – yes, shouting, extremely loudly, it fucking echoed in the stable – “he doesn’t need a vet because HE’S JUST MASTURBATING” in John’s face and then walking back to the stall I’d been mucking.

As I got back to the stall I heard laughter from a couple of aisles over. Apparently my co-workers and some riders who were there had all heard me shout and found it hilarious, and that made me laugh too because it was so freaking ridiculous. I honestly kind of forgot the entire encounter afterwards because we had a horse who actually needed a vet a little while later and yeah, John and Bert just slipped my mind.

I didn’t remember until that afternoon when my boss came to see me and said he’d had a complaint from John who wanted me fired. I did not get fired but I did get ‘warned’ (just a formality, my boss didn’t actually punish me but wanted me to act like I had been if John questioned me later, which he never did). John complained that I’d treated him like an idiot, spoken down to him, and “acted above my position” (those were the exact words he used) causing people to laugh at him. I explained the entire situation to my boss, who also laughed, and that was that, nothing else ever came of it aside from my co-workers telling the story of me shouting HE’S MASTURBATING so loudly it scared a pony into jumping so suddenly that it farted to everyone they possibly could.

Since then John has ignored me even more than before which I honestly consider a blessing, and I would leave this situation thinking I’m NTA except that one of my co-workers brought their boyfriend to the stable recently and when they introduced us the boyfriend said something like ‘oh right, you’re the asshole who talks down to people who don’t know everything about horses’ and yeah. My co-worker was blindsided by that as well and we basically both said you don’t have to know everything about horses to know what an erection means, but since then I’ve been wondering if I am TA in this situation? Like, clearly there were better ways to tell John what his horse was doing, but he called me a retard and also I get paid to take care of horses not to teach the birds and the bees to fifty year olds so I don’t know. I’ll let Tumblr decide.

So, AITA for telling John his horse was masturbating?

Additional info: I'm on a rota with other stable hands so I sometimes groom Bert, muck his stall, attend to his vet/farrier appointments, give him worming paste, etc and so on. I am not his trainer and have no input into when he gets to leave his stall. I've mentioned to my boss a couple of times that he boredom stims and should be in a paddock with other young horses, but John refuses to agree to that for reasons I don't know. My boss has since spoken to Bert's trainer who is now trying to convince John to let Bert have more time outdoors.

What are these acronyms?

[o-sachi]

Isagi Yoichi ₊⊹ Headcanons

ଳ Character; Isagi Yoichi (Bllk)

ଳ Tags; (random) regular/platonic hcs

— He’s the type of person who avoids stepping on the cracks on the sidewalk whenever he goes out on his usual walks. Whenever he does accidentally step on a crack, he lets out an audible ‘tsk’ and is a bit annoyed by the fact.

— On the top shelf of his cabinet, there’s a reused cookie tin where he chucks all the cool rocks he found on his walks. He has had the thing since childhood and now he doesn’t know what to do with it. So it has been collecting dust there and he’s pretending that it doesn’t exist.

— He’s a plain texter, but not a dry one. The only shortcuts he uses are otw, brb, ty, and btw. He’s guilty of overusing this emoji 🙂 and he unironically uses this one 😊. He uses both in a non-sarcastic manner. His top 5 emojis are: 🙂👍🏻😂😕⚽️

— His room is neat and tidy which his parents constantly praise him for. However, the colors are a bit dull. The only eye-catching area would be his manga shelf. He’s proud of his collection and enjoys rearranging it whenever he buys new manga. He arranges them by genre, so he can easily find something to read to fit his mood.

— He is a MAJOR sweet tooth. He’d eat sweets exclusively all day if he could. The only thing that’s stopping him was that one time he got extremely sick after eating too much kintsuba as a little kid. “Moderation is key,” he’d say while eating sweets.

— Despite being a sweet tooth, he’s not a picky eater. He eats anything his mother cooks which he is praised for as well. He doesn’t particularly hate any kind of food, but he’d prefer not to have bitter stuff. Even though he’s an active and growing dude, he isn’t much of a big eater. He actually gets full pretty fast.

— He likes to tell dad jokes which he stole learned from his dad. His personal favorite (which makes him chuckle a bit before saying it) is, “What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck!” The only person who has laughed at that joke was his younger cousin that came to visit them at their house some time ago.

— His parents keep an odd doodle of a cyborg-looking creature picture framed in their kitchen. It was one of Isagi’s drawings from when he was just 6 years old. He gifted it to his mom on her birthday because he thought she loved his art.

— His biggest pet peeve is people who chew loudly. Somehow he can hear it more compared to other people. It irks him so much to the point that it makes him lose appetite altogether. He usually eats faster, so that he can relieve himself of those horrid sounds.

— Whenever he goes to the mall, there are 3 places he absolutely needs to visit. The first one is the sporting goods store so he can check out some new football equipment he might like. The second one is the 100¥ store (dollar store). He likes to look for cool trinkets and kitchen tools for his mom or tools for repair for his dad. Lastly, he has to go to the sweets shop that sells his favorite kintsuba.

— Much like on the field, it’s like Isagi transforms into a different person whenever he’s playing multiplayer games. It doesn’t matter if it’s the enemy or his teammate—they’re all catching some fire.

— Sometimes he can’t fall asleep quickly because he’s thinking up of scenarios (he does this to fall asleep quicker, but it has the opposite effect). He likes to repeat events if they didn’t turn out well or if it wasn’t as vivid as he wanted it to be.

ε( ε ˙³˙)ɜ ｡° ⚬ ｡ Likes and reblogs are appreciated

o-sachi © 2024

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.2

Prettyyyyy

Maybe John's not actually crazy for thinking Hey Jude is to him? “For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.” fool is, in my tin hat world, often a code name for Paul in their songs. And that description is certainly him to a t actually. I wonder why I've never considered it before. 

John: are you happy here, honey? Paul: I ain't happy here my honey, can you take me back? How many songs does Paul write from 1968 on about trying to go back? One day I'm going to make a list and it'll be a long one. 

And thus begins the phase of they just can't help it, can they? But they really wish they could. They make each other so so happy, but they really wish they didn't. It would hurt less that way. 

I love the comparison of Linda's pictures of everyone else and then of John. It just shows that it's not a her problem – that's such a lovely one of George, who Hates Yoko – it's how he feels about her.

John, coming up with every possible weapon to provoke Paul, finally has Yoko sing Paul's part in one of their songs. It really is such a slap in the face. But of course breaking the sanctity of their music is what does it best. And still, all he gets out of him is a look before he walks away. Whatever it is that John wants, I think Paul literally can not give it to him. 

Btw the white album is my favorite, probably. There's just such incredible diversity on it. It's so much fun, you never get tired of it, and it's an excellent display of their genius and versatility. 

He looks like an abandoned puppy. 

What do we think? John says Paul drummed on WDWDITR. Paul says Ringo did. Who is telling the truth?

“It was getting to be where he wanted to do it like that but he couldn't make the break . . .” So John thinks Paul doing his songs by himself means he wants to break the group up? I personally read it as him not wanting to annoy everyone with his bossiness, but that's just my take. 

John talking about how it's him and Yoko now, but before, it was . . .

George needs to send them a cease and desist notice or he'll sue them for breech of character the amount of times they drag him into things he's not a part of. Especially if they're not going to even fucking spare him a glance in reality. Please and thank you, Hare Krishna. 

Paul's epigraph on the two virgins cover. “Battles to prove he was a saint”? What kind of passive aggressive shit is that, Paul?

The eternal question: what happened in India? And does John really not know? Or is he just unwilling to tell what happened to rolling stone?

Somebody please engage with that poor little boy, preferably, you know, his father. Ugh, Cynthia must've had so much anxiety watching that footage, or really any time Julian was with John. And that footage is placed in the doc right after a pic of Paul already being Heather's dad just so naturally. 

But hell, if I've ever seen attention-seeking behavior, this is it. Singing about wanting to die while seductively undressing the closest thing Paul would've had to career competition at the time. 

I'm sorry but it will forever be hilarious to me that when John's singing his part of “I've Got a Feeling” with Yoko it's “soft dream” and then with Paul it's “wet dream”. How John and Yoko tricked everyone into believing they were too horny for each other to control themselves is beyond my imagination. 

On the day John plays their sex tape, “Unusually, Yoko is not present.” LMAO girl same. John: I'm going to play our sex tape for the band tomorrow. Yoko: oh was that tomorrow? Damn, I forgot, I have a thing. 

“Well that's an interesting one.” What did John honestly expect, though? Like I know he wanted Paul to be like, “that's it! Enough is enough I'm taking you home and doing you right!” Or whatever. But what did he honestly, realistically expect?

Always saying the same things at the same time, always on the same page, same word. About everything, it seems, except their relationship. 

Paul: but you won't say anything about it. John: I said what I've been thinking. Paul: Are you still thinking that now? What are you thinking now? John: I'm still thinking about it. Infuriating. Whatever it is John's been thinking, he doesn't want to talk about it in front of cameras. Is it quitting the band? I think it's something more complicated than that but I've no idea what. 

“John, John, joooooohn!” X “Martha my Dear” crossover my beloved. The fact that literally Everyone reacts and tries to get her to stop except Paul is so extremely telling. Yoko: joooooohn! Ringo: He's busy! Yoko: joooooohn! John: Stop that! (And he looks and sounds genuinely pissed) Yoko: joooooohn! Paul: (plinking and pounding away, definitely not thinking thoughts about what he would do right now if he was a girl that will come out of his mouth fifteen years later)

Everyone's trying to figure out the problem with George vs JohnandYoko and Paul's saying “and like with Yoko, they’re real. They mean it.” Linda laughs. “I don't dig that.” You don't, Linda? What about them isn't real to her, I wonder. Does she think they don't really love each other? Or what?

Linda: *Makes fart noise* Go away! Paul: continues to defend them. Neil: everybody cough. See and this is why it sucks that get back was so edited. Because it's important that Paul's defending them here not just going on and on where nobody asked. He knows he's hurt John, and he feels bad enough about it to let him have his mommy with him at all times if that's what he needs.

If what??? Someone needs to force them to finish their damn sentences. Because I feel like he cuts himself off here when (I swear!!) he's about to say what it is that's hurting John so badly.

Anyway, here's where (imo) he's kinda wrong. Where he says "if it came to a push between Yoko and the band, it's Yoko." I think I said it in my get back posts, but I'll say it again. Yeah, if it was Yoko or the band, it's Yoko. But if it's Yoko or Paul filling all the gaps Yoko is currently filling? It's Paul. You know? And I think that's what John wants so badly at this time, actually. Is “a push between Yoko and [Paul]” ending with Paul stepping up for him in some way that he wasn't before, you know?

He really does get it though. John wanting to be as close as possible with Yoko so he doesn't lose her and their connection. Don't forget he does put Linda in his band. He gets it because it was the same with him and John. 

I really do think it's a huge myth that they just never talked about feelings or anything serious. Look at them. This is how they talk in a crowded place with their girlfriends sitting right there. They didn't just get through fifteen years of one of the greatest collaborations in history never actually talking. They talked about deep stuff. And frequently. 

[shmpxx]

HE’S A STONER — k.k

⛤ kazuha kaedehara x fem! reader

smoking weed and having sex w. kazuha for the first time.

cw. smut. unprotected sex. oral (f. & m. receiving). riding. fingering. creampie. virginity loss. nipple play. tit-sucking. praising. groping. corruption. usage of drugs(marijuana). modern au. +18!

wc: 3.2k

a/n: I’m in-love with stoner kazuha btw.

Kazuha kaedehara was your classmate in some of your classes but not all of them, he was also your friend sort of in a way that your the only person he talks to whenever his friends aren’t in his classes. No he wasn’t a bad boy, a slacker or a jerk who teases. He was actually nice and friendly to others even mostly you and other girls. Though he was a heavy stoner, every time he walk past to say hi you’d always smelt a whiff a weed on him and his friends. The girls didn’t mind it, maybe they were smokers too.

All the girls wanted kazuha. When he walked into class, they stare and give him a small wave and giggle to themselves. You didn’t deny you also had a crush on him as well, it wasn’t a bad thing, he was cute and the small red streak that gives out from his platinum blonde hair and his intriguing smile he does you can’t resist. But you also heard from your friend that he hops around girl to girl. You never asked or talked about it with him still he never shy away from talking about which girl he had in his bed last night and ‘it was alright nothing special’ with his friends you overhear.

Yeah you did like kazuha but you doubt you ever confess anything to him, you’re pretty sure girls do that everyday.

You thought otherwise yet kazuha has it bad for you. Yeah he messed with other girls but it’s not like he wasn’t thinking of you. He writes poetry about you in private, some romance in his poetry writing class. His friends would tease him about his soppy poems though he didn’t care, he wasn’t a kind a guy to be afraid of showing emotions, they would even ask him when is he ever gonna ask you out or get him to fuck during their smoke sesh.

Kazuha didn’t let his friends get to him, he was just gonna let things go slow and by that he asks you to hang out with him back at his dorm just to hang and talk like friends nothing more, not like a date, not yet.

“Uh..are your friends gonna be there?” You ask him “No they’re gonna be a party, I didn’t want to go anyway not tonight that is cause I thought we could just hangout..” he shrugs

You did think about it, was he being genuine? Or get into your pants like every other girl? It could be both. He is not at all a bad person, even if you say no there could always be another time, he would understand. Since you liked him how could you say no to kazuha.

“Alright yeah lets do it then” you smile

Until then when you got to his room it was no surprise to you that it reeked of weed. It wasn’t unbearable it was tolerable, you didn’t mind it. The surprising part was that his dorm was cleaned, nice and organized and his roommate’s side as well. You never went into a boys dorm so you expected it to be messy, well kazuha made the most of it.

You both sat on his bed and talked as usual as you would talk in class but at least you get to actually talk more and have longer conversations this time.

During mid conversation kazuha pulled out a joint from a tin box that was already perfectly rolled up and a lighter out his pocket. You glare at him doing so stopping from what you were saying, watching him bring it up to his lips, lighting at the thick end of the joint and it burns and start to give out a strong smell as soon as he blew out a little smoke and try not to blow it in your face.

He chuckles to himself when you stare in awe almost like you never seen weed being smoked before but also he was a gorgeous smoker. “Would you like to try?” He asks as

Smoking weed was never something that came across your mind. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to try it or hated the fact that it was bad for your lungs, you knew it was but still it was never in your face for it to cross your mind for you to decide whether you wanted to do it or not. You weren’t gonna lie you were curious.

“I don’t know how..” you admit like you were the only one in the world who never smoked.

“I can teach you” he shifts himself closer to you.

“Okay” you nod but before he gave you it he asks

“Are you sure? I don’t want you doing something you don’t want to do”

“I’m sure” you were a tad bit nervous, only because you don’t know what it’s like to be high once you smoke it.

He passes you it and you bring it up to your mouth already, he lights it and blows on it so it can burn and a string of smoke emitted. “Don’t suck it just inhale and try to hold it” he tells you and you listen.

You ended up coughing really hard, a bunch of smoke leaving your mouth as you didn’t intend to inhale that much and kazuha couldn’t help but hold his stomach in laughter, watching you struggle to catch your breath trying to get the hot air to leave your throat.

“Ts- not funny!” You continued to cough and hit him in the shoulder.

“I didn’t think you would inhale that much-“ he wipes a tear from his eye still snickering to himself.

Kazuha takes another puff and passes it back to you after you stopped coughing. This time you tried not to make your last mistake again.

Only a few minutes go by, you and kazuha just sat there and laughed about your coughing still. It wasn’t even that funny but you couldn’t help yourself from restraining yourself to. You both had practically finished it, it became just a dud at that there was no more use to it.

You felt like your mind was stuck like you couldn’t form thoughts more than 5 secs, your fingers start to feel tingling and the bed you sat on felt like you were about to mold with it or sink in. It wasn’t a scary feeling it was more of a funny, weird and calm feeling. Kazuha can tell you were high in the clouds, it was so entertaining watching you like this for the first time knowing you never smoked a day in your life.

“I assume your feeling it by now” he lets out a small chuckle once again, since kazuha was more tolerable he was used to it and you being new you felt lighter like you were floating, tiny needles prickling at your skin. “yeah i jus..fewl weird..how long s’ this supposed to last?”

“-A few hours”

“Then…what do we do..now?” The way words fell out your mouth slowly like you couldn’t speak as fast as you use to.

“I know something that it can make your high ten times better” he smirks tapping his finger on his chin as if he had a devious plan.

“Hm?”

Your brain didn’t process faster than him pressing his lips against yours and his hand sliding from your knee high up to your thigh caressing it.

You started to sink into his lips, slowly drifting from reality to kazuha taking you so deeply in your mouth, it was slow but desperate you moaned into his mouth as he slide in his hot tongue inside between your lips. Colliding his tongue into yours, You try to pull away for air but he just leans in more deepening into the hot wet kiss with his hand inching higher now under your skirt you wore and his other hand groping your tit massaging it through your shirt. Maybe you were too high to tell if it were real or not but his lips felt so good with yours.

“Put your arms up” he pulls away from your lips.

You did, no questions asked as he lifted your top off over your head, revealing your tits to him as you weren’t wearing a bra underneath and he unzips your skirt from the side and dragging them down now showing your panties. You were so cute and high as hell being told what to do already.

“Ka-zuha..I’m a—”

“S’ okay i know” since you don’t remember by your mind being too clouded to think, there was a time you told him you were a virgin. You had nothing to worry about, it was kazuha after all. You trusted him and your trusting him with your body too and maybe or maybe not kazuha purposely intended this all from the beginning.

He takes off his clothes as well, he had very much pale soft skin and he took down his hair from a ponytail letting his platinum blonde hair fall down to his shoulders. He is so pretty, the only thought you could make out in your head.

his hand reaches between your inner thighs pressing lightly at your clit earning a small whine from you. An intense feeling growing as he continues to rub the pad of his fingers through your panties on your clit. your thighs start to squeeze around his wrist, squirming and grinding against his hand to apply more pressure, it just felt so good.

His lips latch onto your nipple, nibbling it softly and sucking on it, he tries to take your boob into his mouth. You felt how hot his mouth is on your tit, it was nothing but warmth, giving you more of a feeling than just the his fingers rubbing throughly against your dampen panties. Nothing but small noises came from you only.

“Do you want more?”

“Yes please” you whine

“Lay down for me then”

Again, you listen. Laying back down on your back on the bed, you lazily lift your hips up for kazuha to take down your panties off your legs. You were so obedient, so perfect in kazuha’s eyes. Right when he takes them off kazuha licked his lips at the sight of your pussy, begging for it to be touched. He only ran his finger along your clit and how your cunt twitched.

“Kazuha” you cry waiting to be touched again.

He couldn’t help smile to himself, how your literally so desperate for him. “You’ll feel so good baby i promise” he spreads open your legs. his slender hands pushing your thighs to your chest as his head sinks down and you jolted at the feeling of his scorching hot tongue being dragged on your cunt and over your clit letting out a cry.

Your hands grip the pillow your head laid on. Your back arched slightly, you tried not to move away, it became too much from the way he kept licking and using his lips to cravingly suck on your clit. Your head was becoming much fuzzier than it was. your breathing becomes quicker by the second, “ka-hah-zuha!” His name being moaned out from you.

His lips detach from your cunt and then his two digits slowly slid in your core. Your breath being caught in your throat, feeling your walls spread by his fingers. It didn’t hurt but it felt odd knowingly nothing was ever put up there except his fingers are the first. His fingers thrusting into you in a languid motion and he brings his lips back to clit.

Your hands couldn’t grip the pillow anymore, your fingers combed through kazuha’s soft hair and how much he ended up adoring it, his scalp getting massaged while you moan out with his tongue circling your puffy clit and his fingers pumping in and out of your hole at the same time, you were getting dizzy.

Your let out high pitched moans when you began to feel a some sort of electrifying sensation form in your lower region. “Kazuha! I-“ you squeezed your eyes shut seeing stars behind your eyelids. Kazuha can feel you nearing, he pumps his fingers faster and focus on your clit. Strangled noises from you making kazuha painfully erect, rutting against the bed. You came twitching around his fingers and a static feeling growing through your body as you were orgasming.

Kazuha smiles at you in your struggled state, kissing your inner thighs as your slowly coming down. He climbs over you and kisses your lips for a few seconds, parting from your lips once again.

“Sit up” You sat up, you don’t know if it was weed or he casted a spell on you but you were listening like a good girl to him.

“I need you to help me too” he pulls out his cock from his boxers and it springs to his stomach, the tip red and becoming leaky.

“I need you to use that pretty mouth of yours” his thumb swiping across your bottom lip. You nod looking up in his scarlet eyes filled with nothing but lust. You’d do anything he asked you to in your vulnerable state of mind. You went on your knees and kazuha’s hand cupped your cheek and gives you a faint smile before you could take him in your mouth.

You never done this before but somehow from the way kazuha took deep breaths and moans softly in pleasure, he was enjoying it. His moans start to turn into whines when you take him deeper, your tongue licking up his shaft. “You’re doing so well already—“ he hissed.

Your cunt began to ache again just from his whining. You wanted to touch yourself and suck him off at the same time but all your focus was on him and his cock throbbing inside your mouth. Your tongue swipes at his slit, the hotness of your mouth and being high all at once giving him a ten times crazy sensitivity. “Your so good..feels so good…ah!”

He started to squirm, his stomach muscles flexing and his hand travel to the back of your head, bucking his hips a bit into your mouth. The further you went down on him the more your eyes bubbled with tears, nothing went farther down in your mouth other than his tip nudging in the back of your throat. He had to cum inside your mouth, his pants start to get heavier and his voice became whinier. You can feel his cock shudder, bits on cum leaving onto your tongue and then a loud moan breaks out, he releases a hot string of cum down your throat you had no choice but to swallow though you didn’t care, as a matter of fact you enjoyed it, a lot.

“You did so well..” he brings your face up to his, giving you a kiss like a sweet reward. He can taste his own cum on your tongue.

He patted his leg, signaling you to straddle his lap and his already erect dick prods at your pussy, your cunt clenches onto nothing. The embarrassment starts to creep up your back “Kazuha I’m a little—“

“Don’t be nervous” he gives you a reassuring look. His hands on your hips and his positions his cock at your slit. “Think about how amazing you’re gonna feel” and without a hurry you sink down onto him, his cock spreading you open like his fingers did but much more. You both let out a small sigh as so. Your lips quiver squeezing around him tight already didn’t even sink down all the way yet with the strange pressure you were not used to.

“Almost there..” he moans and you whimper in response. Basically splitting you open the more you take in all of him inside you. Finally, your clit hits his pelvis and you’re trying to adjust to his size.

Kazuha’s hands that were situated on your hips rocked onto his cock in a rhythmic pace. Your body in motion up and down on his cock and your eyes flutter every time you can feel him working you open each time. Your hands gripped his shoulders as you let out a loud whine and kazuha’s head tilts back, letting out a deep exhale from his throat with your mushy walls swallowing him whole. “Ah!…your such a good girl..fuck! Feels amazing—you feel amazing..tell me how good it is”

“It feels..it-so good…“ you sputtered

It was like ten times better having sex while high, like the weed enhanced your nerves and sensitivity stronger than normal sex. It was clearly a great euphoric feeling. Kazuha thought he should’ve done this ages ago but it probably wouldn’t be the same with other girls, just you. why didn’t he have you before? It was like you both were becoming one, shaping together, his dick plunging into you and you became a mess over him.

Kazuha takes your hands and intertwines with your fingers, watches you bounce on his cock on your own without needing his hands to guide you and keep the pace steady. “Don’t stop-“ His lips find your perk nipples, sucking and biting on your bud, swirling his tongue around and went back to sucking hard until your bud became red and swollen making you break out a hissed moan until he moves to the next untouched one yet his hand massages your tit and his fingers nips and plays with your abused nipple.

You felt like you were about to crash. Your legs ached a bit and your cunt now being stretched out and scraped by his cock. You could feel it, you could feel every inch of his cock deep within. His tongue doing wonders on your nipple and his index and thumb pinching at your other. It was all too much for your nerves that you start to the feel the knot in your belly forming and time began to slow down, kazuha’s dick pulsing at your walls. You both were about to cum in a minute.

Kazuha couldn’t help but speed up the process, his hips jerking at a erratic pace and each time he hit deep you break out a cry still recoiling your hips against his dick. “I-I’m..about to—“ you whimper “want me to..cum inside?” He breath hitches, you nod hurriedly. You were experiencing everything at once, the lightheadedness like your mind was on clouds, your heart racing like it was about to burst out your chest, and your core ready to cream on his cock. Both of your sweat being combined.

He hit deep into your cunt, letting out harmonized moans together as he filling your inside with his warmth of cum and your muscles contracting harshly around him. Both shaking and trembling like everything was being pooled out of you even the air in your lungs.

Kazuha pushed you down back against the mattress, still trying to come down from your feverish state, separated your legs apart taking out his dick halfway staring at the mess you both made in amusement, cum coating your insides and his dick all together. He smirks to himself, grabbing another rolled up joint, lighting it up and take one huge puff before opening your jaw to kiss you, blowing smoke into your mouth. he lets out a sigh while you exhale the smoke he emptied in your mouth, stimulating your high again. “I’m sure we can go another round..what do you say?”

[thegoldencontracts]

Masterlist (Azul Ashengrotto)

Fics

To Comfort - Hurt/Comfort, Reader Gives Azul a massage

Bridal Style - Fluff, Reader Bridal Carries Azul

Let's Play! - Fluff, Board Game Night With Azul

Too Late - Hurt/Comfort + Fluff, Azul accidentally sends you an embarrassing text

Kiss Kiss K.O~! - Fluff, Kissing Azul until he faints

Of Much Importance - Second request, Azul being tryhard and you teasing him :)

Ugly-Cry- Azul angst along with hurt/comfort, no readerI

Irrationality, Love - Azul's in denial until an odd confession

Don't Question Me! - Azul x Reader First date fic

The Baby Picture - A drabble where you find a picture of baby Azul and he is not amused

A Tsundere - You think Azul's a tsundere. He thinks he's not. Who wins (Drabble)?

Complimentary - You compliment Azul to tease him (drabble)

Flustered!Azul and Leona - Two fics for the both of them, requested <3

(Not) A Love Triangle - An idea I got from a post about the reader, Azul, and Jamil's weird relationship; azul x reader, jamil hates his life

Octopus-Lover - Jeiazu 1.1k thingy if you like jeiazu talk to me no one likes jeiazu more than me i will move mountains for a fellow stan

Denial - A quick Jamiazu drabble with blushy azul and jamil who is smug yet a tad confused

Run-Off - An Azul & OC daughter Angst Fic, Azula belongs to @imafrealinrainbow478484 (please tell me if the tag annoys you btw ^^)

Secrets - Cute little fluff fic, you catch Azul being all sappy and flustered about you

On The House! - Fic about you realizing why Azul's giving you free stuff

A Turn-Table - You turn Azul's flirting on him and he gets all flustered

A Touch Too Far - Hurt No Comfort, you try the breakup prank on Azul and it does NOT go well

Cuddled up - Smothering azul in cuddles and praising him

Tsundere!Twst - Housewardens x Reader but THEY'RE the tsunderes now

Cruel Rejection - Azul works up the courage to ask you out. It doesn't go too well.

What Do You Want? - You offer Azul a deal. He doesn't believe you.

Not Staring - Azul can't admit he's staring at you. How odd. Adorable, though.

Cute - People find Azul intimidating, snide, infurating, competent, stern and- Cute?

Because-! - Azul saves you from drowning, and he's rather furious. Why?

Headcannons

Azul Kiss HCs - What it says on the tin, pure fluff

Schrodinger's Horror - Fluff HCs, Watching Horror Movies with Azul

Azul & Ex-Queen-Bee!Reader - Third request, HCs, what it says on the tin

Housewardens With A Tsundere Reader (Part 1) - Azul and a tsundere reader

Housewardens React To Being Ignored As A Prank - You ignore him as a prank, a bit angsty.

Overblotters with a Fairy-Godmother Yuu - No romance, overblotters with an MC that behaves and has powers like a fairy godmother.

Imagines

Azul in love - A cute little imagine about Azul being in love with you and flounding

He is... - Crackfic based on twst fanon stuff that i don't really find accurate

Flustered!Dormheads - What it says on the tin, short but sweet little thing

Plus-Sized Azul in NRC - Angsty scenario of plus-sized!azul

Overblotters When A Guy Flirts With You - What it says on the tin, mild angst.

Azul And Envy - Some thoughts on Azul being envious of others, complete with a fluffy ending.

Jealous!Dormheads - An overall look at dormheads and jealousy. Mostly fluffy.

Housewarden!Kisses - How does he kiss? How does he like to be kissed?

Twst Guys Confessing - How would he confess to you?

Pranking the Housewardens - How fun is he to prank?

Pining Dormheads - How he pines; the bits of affection that show even before a relationship.

With A Tsundere - You're a tsundere. But guess what? He is too.

How The Housewardens Show Their Love - How does he show you he loves you?

Analyses

Every Single Talent Azul Has -Self-Explanatory; always open to corrections, additions, or requests for more detailed citation

Is Azul Kind? - A theory based off of Azul's Platinum vignette

Every Unethical Act Azul Has Committed (And Why None Of Them Were Actually Illegal) - Also Self-Explanatory, I'm not a lawyer so I'd appreciate corrections

Can Azul Love? - A bit of my thoughts on the matter.

Jamiazu Ramble - Some thoughts on Jamil's feelings for Azul in the ship.

Twst Guys and Hugs - How do they prefer to give or receive hugs?

Incorrect Quotes

Mixed Messages

[pharawee]

Welcome to the second part of my Pit Babe novel commentary aka "hey this isn't so ba---wait where's Babe's sudden daddy kink even coming from??"

And I try (oh my god do I try). 🤡

I'm now at chapter 10, trying to pace myself because the (auto-translated) translation I'm reading is apparently a WIP. I'm on the edge of my seat. The plot is beginning to thicken.

Previously, Charlie was being sus and Babe was catching feelings, but most importantly there was a lot of pwp and very little racing.

Now there's more racing. Babe even brings Charlie (he still has to wear a mask and a hat) but gets too distracted by his presence (he's apparently addicting enough to kiss through the mask) and promptly forgets to check his car before the race (even though Charlie warns him against it but such is the power of scent - or lack of scent in this case. I don't even know anymore - neither does Babe but at some point Charlie states that's he's now in an alpha rut which I suppose means exactly what it says on the tin).

But, oh no! Babe runs into trouble during the race. He loses the lead and his car gets increasingly difficult to control until it crashes and bursts into flames. But it's okay, Babe jumps out of the driving car just in the nick of time (have you ever seen a supercar outfitted for racing? It's difficult enough to climb into one - funny how I'm apparently okay with omegaverse shenanigans but I draw the line at wonky motorsports physics 🤣).

Anyway, the track marshals are doing a really shit job because somehow they 1. let Charlie on the track to singlehandedly try and rescue Babe and 2. they also completely miss that Babe has literally jumped ship car and is lying on the track. He ends up with a broken wrist and a sprained knee (or was it the other way around? anyway, he's wearing several casts) which means he won't be able to finish the season and lose the title of King (all because he was too horny to check his car... but yeah also apparently it was sabotage  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ).

So much for the racing part.

Babe needs weeks to heal so naturally he needs Charlie to pamper and feed him and dick him down several times a day but what else is new. No offence to the the dicking down part but ugh I hate this trope. Maybe it's just because I dislike the dynamics but I don't like the way Babe is taking on more and more cliché omega traits. If I have to read one more time about how much smaller he is (or about his "rounded" hips... are you ok google translate?)...

Oh, and btw. There are omegas in this! Charlie gets flirted at by one (which Babe absolutely hates) and he does have a scent and all. Later, when Charlie is busy being extremely sus again he meets up with a childhood friend, Jeff (Pon's character in the series is called Jeff - oh. oh no...), and if I'm not mistaken he's an omega as well. Jeff cautions Charlie against being with Babe and displeasing his father (which also seems to be Jeff's father? Dude sure has a lots of adoptive kids...) but Charlie argues that he knows what he's doing and he doesn't want to stop anyway.

Later on he tells the exact same thing to his (adoptive?) father, and why do I get the feeling that this might be the same father Babe mentioned earlier when he was telling a feverish Charlie a story to get him to sleep:

In his story, Babe mentions how when he was very small he used to go hungry every day because his mum was out of the picture and his father didn't even make enough money bring food to the table. One day the hunger was so bad that he passed out and woke up in the hospital where a stranger told him he'd be his new family. With little choice in the matter, Babe accepted and went on to spend the rest of his childhood well-cared for and in elite schools etc. That is, until he turned (presumably...) 18 and discovered that his father didn't adopt him out of the kindness of his heart but for ulterior motives that Babe doesn't explain any further because at that point Charlie has fallen asleep.

So yeah, what are the odds that Babe's "father" and Charlie's father are the same person (no spoilers, please)? Because if so then... that's disturbing, especially since Charlie's father seems to want Charlie to lure Babe back home. I mean, Charlie seems to have his own plans but it's not like his father throws him out after their secret meeting. Sus, very sus.

Meanwhile, Babe is slowly losing his heightened senses (the novel doesn't mention it yet but I'm pretty sure this is Charlie's doing) but he doesn't seem to mind because he's too busy falling in love. There's a lovely scene where Charlie and he spend the night stargazing, and this is when Babe realises that something's different because usually his heart only beats this fast when he thinks about racing (lmao).

Cue to them not having sex for a week because Babe feels like he's going crazy.

Meanwhile, it's been decided that Charlie will finish Babe's racing season for him because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and I'm sure he'll win the title too because he's Charlie, alphaest of alphas. Or something.

So one night Babe officially introduces him to the rest of team X-Hunter (and curiously Sonic and North seem to be racers in the novel as well) but things go awry when Babe is too busy fooling around with Way (no you cannot be affectionate with a male friend in a BL novel it is forbidden!!). Charlie and Babe argue and proceed to ignore each other for the rest of the night until they make up (and out) during the official X-Hunter sleepover (with Way and another poor dude sleeping in the same room).

They're polite enough to seek out the indoor pool (this isn't even their house - have you no shame?) and talk it out. And by talk it out I mean there's an inappropriate amount of daddy-calling and Little Mermaid jokes. This is where Charlie claims Babe. Yes, there's knotting (I think? like I said, I'm not axactly an expert and auto-translate is a bit vague, bless its little AI heart). Charlie threatens (I'm sure it's all meant very lovingly 🤡) to impregnate Babe if there's no other way to show others that he's his. To which Babe replies that that's impossible anway.

It's impossible, right? Right??

[doodle-do-wop]

Rayni (open discussion post)

as some of you may have heard/seen I am Rayni Aria's biggest goddamn hater

I can't stand her ass

I recently read/listened through Stellarlune for the first time and I hated her the moment I met her. Yes I know the ending of Legacy, I know how it all flows

But I Still can't stand her

Why? Because she is a literal blob of nothingness on the page

Spoilers for Stellarlune

Rayni Aria is a character who was once the Neverseen member Glimmer (dumbass name btw) who, allegedly was involved with none of the Neverseen's major plots so far; The Kidnapping of Sophie and Dex, their torture, jumping Sophie, Keefe, and Silveny in Exile, Mt Everest, the gnomes etc etc etc

Allegedly she's had zero part in any of that because they just stick her in a corner and even when Gisela was overthrown she still didn't do diddly squat, she just read medical books. Sure. Okay

Her life previous to joining terrorists willingly was she was just a normal girl with a normal life until people started to whisper speculations about her parents' relationship not being all of what it says on the tin. Her parents are found guilty of messing with the match system to be together and avoid a Bad Match status and are made an example of by banishment But Rayni isn't banished with them as instead her parents leave her with a note and are never heard from again Rayni drops out of Foxfire and lives in a rented room in Mysterium until Gisela finds her and tell her to quit her unemployment and join her emo band Cool, alright. Mid and extremely questionable loyalties. So you'll just go with whoever reaches out their hand first. Good to know

Beyond her frankly uninteresting backstory Rayni's personality is the exact same cookie cutter cardboard cutout mean girl leave no coughed insults unspoke persona that is so old and over used I think Shannon might've actually managed to resuscitate this dead horse. Rayni whines and bitches about how 'no one will trust her' but does absolutely nothing to win herself any favors. Instead she seems more than chipper to keep digging at her own grave so why dont we just drop this whole pointless scene and let her keep on going at it She's boring. She's bland. She's lame. And don't get me started on the weird cat lamp thing I don't know if Shannon was going for 'oh look she likes cats' or 'boo hoo she's so broken and jaded an this lamp is the one thing that lights up her dark dark soul'.

Rayni is weird, her vibes are just so off and so lack luster. Her depth is so shallow I couldn't even soak up a puddle of it with a napkin.

What's the point of bring in a bad guy now good guy/anti hero if all they do is snark in the corner, pet a cat statue, watch the protagonist do jack diddly squat and be like "oh yeah, you're a leader now" girl what??? That entire scene where Rayni unmasks herself was so boring if I cut out the only other emotion I felt while listening which was annoyance. I listened and live reacted to it on discord with some friends as my witness and what even was that scene? Tam is supposedly the one holding the talking stick in the group I guess just because he and Rayni are just such good buds so obviously he should take point (cause no one thinks he's brainwashed) and the entire time Rayni bicthes and moans about how no one trusts her (girl you're wearing a stinky, smelly, raggedy terrorist hood. You couldn't ask to trade it for a less stinky less terrorist embroidered one?) and while yeah people poke holes at her and take small jabs Rayni really seems gung ho with tossing playground responses with 14-16 year olds at her grown ass age. She's one year younger than Wyile and while young adults in their 19/20s arent mature at all it is CRAZY to me that she bitches about no one trusting her and then turns and calls Fitz Sophie's "telepath back-up" I believe the correct quote is "You're basically Sophie's telepath backup" and this is said to Fitz and that was just the most absurd thing I've ever fucking heard spoken by Gisela's fucking lapdog. Fitz is done so dirty in this book and Rayni basically calls Fitz a "backup" like he's a damn battery or some waterboy Sophie only needs to use like an object. The worst part isn't that its the bad guy's lapdog with questionable loyalties that says this. Its the fact that no one stood up for Fitz. No one said anything. And Sophie fucking laughed. She laughed at that. And Fitz is the only one to blame for their fucked up cognate bond, sure. (Biana, FITZ'S FUCKING SISTER also says and does nothing because Biana is just a little poster Shannon sticks on the wall this whole book)

And not to mention that whole bit with Rayni constantly comparing her and Stina as if they're different faces on the same coin. Like you can't sit there in your terrorist onesie and look someone in the face and be like "Yeah your life is gonna be just like mine. Just you wait. It's coming for you. And then, yeah, you'll be just like me. Huff Huff" and then get mad when she doesn't like you in the slightest. Like yeah, I just love sitting in the same room as someone who tells me my life has a timer on my happy days because we're totes twinsies. Shannon should've let Stina punch Rayni because if this snarky little bug really wanted some damn allies wouldn't she want Stina on her side? You know, the most outspoken nay sayer in all of the Lost Cities? If you're gonna bring up your little Gisela Mini-Me act get good Circus-Circus.

If I wanna like Rayni I need more depth than Miss Hardknock Life over here who gets her kicks out of throwing tantrums when people dont trust her while she wears a terrorist hood and gets her kicks out of replying to every petty response.

If I could, I'd rewrite that whole scene because I genuinely love big groups in books and it would be fun to see a diverse group personality wise instead of the same 'bad bitch' boring outline. I can't believe Rayni's 'tough' personality is a facade because she's not just tough to trust. She's tough to want in any way shape or form She's not Heather Chandler, She's not even Heather Duke, she could never even dream of being Regina Georgie. She's so 2D she flies away with a tiny sigh. The whole book could've honestly been the exact same without Rayni around. Erase her and simply have Trix reach out on his own or something and you still have the Esilyum plot intact. Rayni was just there to make a page count for nothing of any great importance.

That's just what I think of Rayni. She annoys, bores, and pisses me off. She's like the physical embodiment of an Instagram comment section. If yall want, please tell me what you think about her because I genuinely want to know what makes her even the slightest bit interesting to any of you. I like headcanons and I can be convince to take a lot of them. Will my opinion on canon Rayni change? Who knows man

[ladymacbeths]

macbeth related posts/articles/essays masterlist

hi! here's a list of almost every single anaysis Thing I've come across in like two months of being insane about the scottish play. Most are about lady macbeth/the gender theme btw.

‘He has no children’: The centring of grief in The Show Must Go Online’s Macbeth - Gemma Allred: on the misogyny that frequently surrounds conversations around Lady Macbeth

this post by @amillionmillionvoices: Same topic as the previous one, but goes more in depth, explains ladymac’s motivations as mostly coming from love not self-serving ambition.

this post by @dukeofbookingham: also explains the prior point very prettily— that ladymac is (mostly) motivated by love, but also makes the case that many of it is guilt born from not fulfilling societal expectations

On the character of Lady Macbeth - Dr. Emil Pfundheler: paper that explains the same point made in the previous post, using the text to explain. Written in 1873 so explains gender as a dichotomy, but once you take that out, its points are very good.

Characteristics of women: moral, political, and historical - Anna Jameson: aka Why Lady Macbeth is not inherently evil— same topic and the other two, but focuses a bit on the fact that she is A Woman. Not my favorite, but worth reading I suppose. Also includes analyses of many female Shakespeare characters. It does include some very bad history in the beginning— Gruoch did not orchestrate Duncan’s murder. That’s something Hector Boece made up.

Lady Macbeth: “Infirm of purpose” (from The Woman’s Part: Feminist Criticism of Shakespeare) - Joan Larsen Klein: on how she both fits and doesn’t fit the idea of a reinassance wife— doesn’t fit because she isn’t aligned to god (this read more like a Christian analysis than a feminist one if I’m being honest), but fits them because she behaves like one, only subverts them because she’s like, the evil murder girl version of the Wife. The essay right after this one is also very good.

The Hysteria of Lady Macbeth: required reading if you wanna play her Btw not kidding. Analyzes her character thru the lens of freudian psychology. Screws up the text of the play a bit but provides an actual in-depth explanation of how sonnambulism works. Note that "hysteria" is not a current psychological diagnosis, but a symptom of other conditions. Still extremely interesting.

The Macbeths - G. K. Chesterton: analysis of their relationship, makes some interesting point on the differences of the nature of their ambition and desire to kill the king

Shakespeare’s tragic frontier; the world of his final tragedies - Willard Farnham: this one is long but oh boy does it go deep. Talks about the lore of the witches, explains historical context to find out how the real events were so screwed up, makes an interesting point about Macbeth’s conscience against Lady Macbeth’s, and lastly talks about the tragic world of Macbeth compared to other tragedies.

Women’s fantasy of manhood: a Shakespearean theme - D. W. Harding: exactly what it says on the tin, using ladymac and her skewed (and I’d call romanticized) idea of what a man is that she pushes on Macbeth. So yeah, talks about the gender theme. Also talks about Goneril from Lear, Cleopatra, and Volumnia from Coriolanus and how they fit the theme— although ladymac is the only one who goes downhill from it.

Unnatural women in William Shakespeare’s Macbeth - Elizabeth Klett: I’ll be honest I didn’t love this one a lot. Basically talks about how every woman in Macbeth defies gender roles. Doesn’t go too deep however. But the book has a ton of essays analyzing female characters in classic lit.

[strxwberrymoonstar]

omg i would love if you wrote something for han solo where they’re arguing and he accidentally confesses his feelings for her

omg yes please!

this is definitely around the time of a new hope/empire strikes back xoxo

not proof read btw! so sorry for mistakes x

word count: 768

the sudden bolt from the empire ship catches everyone on board the millennium falcon off guard. Han and chewie stir in their seats, eyes glancing around the ship, whilst yourself, r2d2 and c3po are sent flying around the cockpit.

"Oh what are we to do?" C3po says, his robotic voice mixing in with the blasters of the ship firing as he throws his hands up to try to cover his eyes.

"Just can your tin will ya'" Han yells, flipping switches and buttons around the control centre, trying to angle the blasters to hit the tie fighter that follows. Big bursts of air flood from one of the pipes in the cockpit access corridor, the sound piercing everyone's ears.

Chewbacca swirls his chair around, shoving r2d2 out of the way so he can go fix the other problem. Han aggressively shouts, slamming more buttons on the centre. You slide yourself in in front of the terrified golden robot and into the captains seat, looking at Han waiting for his next reaction.

"I can help! Let me help!" You yell, watching as the tie fighter does rings around the ship. "I am not letting a girl, let alone YOU, fly my ship!" Han states, letting his words out with a poisonous tone. Your mouth falls open in shock, eyebrows creasing as your eyes fill with fury.

The beige colour of the planet that shone before you enters your vision as the ship maneuvers through towers of boulders. Before you could mouth any type of redemption, the both of you are sent flying sidewards, the disregard of the chairs seatbelt causes your body to fall into the lap of his as he turns the falcon sideways.

"Not now sweetheart, i'm trying to fly!"

You roll your eyes dramatically, watching as the ships falls into one of the dark, circle shaped tunnels to hide in. Han softly lands the ship behind a small spot of rocks, trying to blend in. You held your breath as you watch the Tie Fighter zoom past the ship and out the other end of the planet.

"Oh princess, if you wanted to get closer to me all you had to do was ask," the teasing tone of Han's breaks the silence. You let out a scoff as you push yourself out of his lap and back into the other chair. You look up at him and notice the smirk that's begging to be slapped off of his face.

"You're just begging for me to slap you," You say through gritted teeth. "Maybe I would like that princess," He replies.

"Of course you would, and I would guess you like the chase of almost killing us all?" You question, eyes widening and crossing your arms over your chest. Han slowly starts to stand up and you follow subconsciously, the tension rising throughout the room.

"I saved us!" Han shouts, fingers pointed towards his own chest. "You nearly killed us!” You shout back, taking a step towards him. "I would never put you in that amount of danger!" the vein on his forehead starts to pulse slightly.

His calloused hands roughly grab your shoulders, slightly shaking you with the sheer amount of force he used as he makes you stare into his eyes. Your faces are mere centimetres apart, staggered breaths leaving both of your mouths.

"I would never put you in that amount of danger, princess" he says again, this time softer. The parts around his eyes soften as he rubs his hands down your shoulders to your arms and back up again.

Shambles of words fall out of your mouth as you search his eyes for the truth. Han looks down again and then back up. He shoves his lips onto yours roughly, bringing your body closer to his as he deepens the kiss.

His hand places itself on the middle of your back, subtly pulling yourself closing to him, while his other hand gently caresses the side of your face. His actions, soft and gentle, contrasted greatly at his earlier actions of pushing you around. You both pull away, Han still keeping his large hand on your face.

“If you just wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask,” You say, rolling your eyes before walking out of the cockpit to go and help the rest of the crew.

A smirk finds it’s way crawling up Hans face before he wipes it off with the palm of his hand, dragging it down his face. He shakes his head before following you.

[astral-cowboy]

Silly little lando norris smau (part 6.5)

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

In which y/n either fixes herself or gets forcibly dragged into healthy habits.

Tw suicide mentions and overall themes of severe depression. This is what too much mitski does to a mf, Im going through it rn and decided to take it out on our girl. Btw, this takes place right before chapter 7.

She stared up at the ceiling of her far too expensive apartment, the soft Egyptian cotton with a thread count too high for her to count felt more like the lining to a coffin rather than the sheets protecting her mattress from the dirt she'd inevitably carry with back with her. She let out a sigh as she sat up, her dry, artificially coloured hair falling down around her neck, wrapping around it like a fraying rope. The front door hadn't stopped ringing for the past ten minutes. The bell reminded her of a plague cart or a town cryer bringing news of war, or whatever would take her away from this moment and leave her to the afterlife of whatever religion was ultimately right in the ever-growing debate of what comes after death.

This line of thought wasn't healthy. that's what Lando would say. But lando wasn't here, lando was gone, alongside any hope she had of being a healthy, functioning human being. Just another life she ruined in her desperate urge to make herself human. Her selfish needs pushed away the one man willing to tolerate her. She'd be lying if she said she didn't deserve it.

The soft voices of her friends finally rang through her apartment as they walked around, having gotten in via Charlie's key. She stayed silent, clinging to the hope that she suddenly didn't exist. Apathetic suicide, she had considered coining the term long before this moment.

Apathetic suicide, bed rotting, whatever she called it, it didn't matter. It was all the same. The urge to dissappear, to have never existed. She knew, on an objective level, how sad her friends would be if she left everything behind, but she never claimed to be selfless, rather the opposite. She had done nothing but ruin the happiness she had built in her life by clawing at the people closest and locking them away until they deemed her "too much." It happened with Will, it happened with Ted, it happened with Lando, and it will happen with everyone else until, eventually, no one will be by her side and she wouldn't have to feel guilty over what came next...

She heard talking as her friends looked through her kitchen, mumbling about the lack of everything in her fridge. She hadn't had time to go shopping in a while, not since before the breakup. She had been living off of whatever tinned food existed in the depths of her cupboard and the occasional bag of crisps she found while wandering through her too large apartment.

Eventually, the footsteps came closer, and her door slowly opened.

And there, in her worried state, was Niki.

[bestworstcase]

Oh okay, i see your point better now, sorry if the "hating Ozpin" thing looked like a excuse to start a fight btw! One last thing, do you have any opinions on Tyrian?

o7 no worries

tyrian is, imo, so far the least interesting of salem’s inner circle primarily because we don’t yet have any idea of his backstory beyond that he went on a killing spree in mistral and later burst into tears and started worshipping salem on sight, as per his arrest file. whether we ever get more than that remains to be seen—and in and of itself "faunus with dangerous trait growing up in the place notorious for being virulently bigoted" might be enough to make someone crack, if he didn’t have anybody in his life to counterbalance the evil way humans would’ve treated him throughout his life.

but i would ideally like to know a little bit more about his background. not like backstory-episode levels because that’s far out of scope for his degree of importance but like we know a lot more about watts’s history and the background with hazel and gretchen is carrying a lot of narrative weight (and may continue to do so if i’m right about gretchen having been the last spring maiden).

this post is about mercury but it does touch on what currently interests me most about tyrian, which is that he’s a narrative foil to mercury and specifically a twisted ideal form of the (false) nihilistic self mercury projects—a living weapon with no conscience whose purpose in life is to be pointed at the enemy and obey without question. this is what mercury pretends to be and what tyrian gladly chooses to be. also i want to see what happens if jax uses his semblance on tyrian.

his rivalry with qrow could also develop in an interesting direction in vacuo—i’m not 100% convinced it will, because qrow’s big moment of growth in v8 is about letting go of vengeance, but if tyrian crosses his path in vacuo it’s not like he’ll hold back lmao—because what kicked it off back in v4 was that tyrian couldn’t faze him. a lot of tyrian’s power in combat arises from his cackling unhinged behavior, it’s off-putting and strange and unpredictable and that knocks his opponents off their game, except for qrow; when qrow just calmly decks him and kicks him away tyrian stops laughing and cowers because he doesn’t know what to do and his vengeance in v7 involves pushing qrow into an emotional enough state that he loses his focus and tyrian can shock him by stabbing clover in the back. so now (in tyrian’s mind) they’re even. what happens the next time they meet? there’s a lot of narrative curveballs that could be thrown here.

um his allusion to the scorpion is also something i roll around in my head a lot, because he’s long since killed his frog… but there’s an older version of the story where the scorpion asks a turtle for passage across the river, and the turtle of course isn’t harmed by the sting and so drowns the scorpion on purpose out of disgust with its refusal to control itself. and well. the fanatic nature of tyrian’s devotion to salem feels like he’s one shattering disappointment—like say, finding out he’s mistaken about what she wants?—away from snapping and attacking her, or perhaps going for cinder (<- i think this is foreshadowed pretty unsubtly by that scene in 4.11), and then salem. er. flattens him. scorpion, turtle. if he’s killed i expect it’ll either be gillian (whose semblance is the inverse and natural counter to his) or salem (immortal) who does it.

i do sort of expect that he’ll reveal a new layer or two in the vacuo arc simply because he’s one of the very few notable characters who has hitherto not really wavered from being what he says on the tin—watts and hazel both had a bit more depth and with tyrian taking point in vacuo and evidently infiltrating the crown, the narrative opportunity to do the same with him is right there. so…

[tin-can-iron-man]

So, as has been clear for a while on this blog, I bought baldurs gate 3 in January of this year, after playing for a few days and falling completely in love with the game, I insisted my wife (the lovely hilarious beautiful etc etc @the-faultofdaedalus) also buy bg3 so that she can experience it and we can play together. (let it be known: we HAVE gone through the entire time at LEAST once before)

today, we were going back and forth between playing bg3 and watching shows the other hasn't seen before, recently I decided that I should show her a TV show that was near and dear to me in my childhood: My Name Is Earl.

having baldurs gate fresh on our minds whilst watching the show led us to making the joke (and. it was a joke, we've even made similar jokes about other shows such as Leverage before) that if Earl Hickey was a DND character, he would be a Paladin.

That is all context for what you are all about to see:

I would say I'm sorry, but then I would be lying...

"but Tin-Can-Iron-Man!" I hear you shout (my friends call me Deo btw) "I see you're playing this save file with your wife! Who is she playing as?"

Randy Hickey (Bard), obviously

(this is the only good shot that I have of that character model)

Earl is an oath of devotion paladin, but only because oath of redemption isn't available, meanwhile we only just played through the prologue, so Randys subclass hasn't been decided just yet.

We're not sure yet if this is just the DND versions of earl and randy or if they've been isekaied to faerun. either option is hilarious, so we'll probably just go back and forth between which one.

Well, anyway...

you know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks?

well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was always waiting around the corner: karma

That's when I realized that I had to change.

I'm just trying to be a better person.

My name is Earl.

[mkgrl11]

social media cleanse and restriction. one of the most important things that helped me start being consistent

this post is aimed for people who feel bad after doomscrolling for hours AND for the people who are emotionally sensitive like me. this is NOT necessary to manifest WHATSOEVER. consider this more of a general wellness tip.

i am speaking almost exclusively from personal experience.

long post, content under the cut

what do you mean by a social media cleanse and restriction? what does it entail?

it's exactly what it says on the tin. cutting down on social media in your daily life

why should we even DO a social media cleanse? i don't wanna miss out!!

there are MANY reasons to do a social media cleanse, but i'll just be talking for the loa/loass perspective (there's literally countless other reasons, you can find a few benefits here).

first of all, you are NOT missing out. there is an infinite amount of unimportant things on there that clog up your mind! and i'm talking about mean people on twitter ragebaiting, somebody on reddit who "trolls" you by actually ruining your day, and tiktok creating a new insecurity out of thin air! doesn't it drive you crazy how riled up you can get over a TWEET??? your beautiful brain doesn't deserve to spend hours in places like that. and you do end up being "in touch" anyway, either by your friends referencing new memes, or by the small amounts of time you spend on your phone (you do NOT have to delete social media entirely)

second of all, i believe that that type of content can actually spoil your fun with manifestations, and i'll give some examples. that weird content can make you:

forget that you were saying your affirmations! maybe you wanted to robotically affirm for 20 minutes, and before you know it, your timer goes off, and you were looking at tweets respoted on instagram, and totally forgot to keep your affirmations at the back of your head

confused. maybe you're on tumblr (ironic i'm posting this online btw, i know) and scrolling on the loass hashtags and you see a post that says "manifestation is a process" followed by a post that says "manifestation is instant, and not a process", followed by someone complaining in someone's asks, followed by... and before you know it, you almost forgot what manifestation was even about

...and the point which is most important,

mess up your attention span. i know, I KNOW, don't boo me! i'm RIGHT! when i was at the peak of my social media usage, i couldn't even sit through visualising for even THREE MINUTES without picking up my phone. i had to give up stuff that made me happy (like visualising) to do stuff that fried my dopamine receptors, and i HATED it

okay, but what's the point of the "restriction"?

the restriction part of the name is just to encourage ACTIVELY taking care of the media you consume. don't hop platforms, spiral even lower, or start a worse habit. keep an eye on that kind of stuff. keep yourself busy.

what about non-social media? like music, film, etc.

i don't think music and film taste is something people can really control. but i will admit, i saw my life improve when i slowed down on listening to angry and depressing music, and snuck in happier or more neutral ones instead.

and it SUCKS to admit it, because i am a HUGE screamo, emo, and alt-rock fan (despite the aesthetic of my blog lmao). i also almost exclusively hate romcoms and fantasize about absurd horror films i watched years ago.

but the good thing is, if you want to introduce more fun music into your playlists (if you feel like the music/film you have been consuming has genuinely been ruining your mood, which i feel like it did for me a little), you can totally do that without having to quit the content you enjoy.

do you have any personal experience with this?

you bet!! i'll try to keep it short bcs i have been rambling for a while, so here it is summed up in bullet points. also this all happened slowly over like two weeks.

what i listened to/watched before:

literal youtube drama slop that i didn't care about

doomscrolling on instagram reels

songs with angry lyrics whose sounds i LOOOVED but felt a little down after listening to it

how i felt before:

bombarded with a bunch of stuff i did not wanna know about (like people's personal dramas online, random jumpscares hidden online, etc)

couldn't focus even on things that made me feel good

like i was searching for something, and never being able to calm that feeling down. for example, i would look up "how to caramelize onions" when i had done that 10 times before bc i felt that my self was so untrustworthy, bc everything i need "MUST be outside of me". or i would scroll on loassblr, bc maybe THIS time i'll find the "key to manifesting"

what i listened to/watched after:

fun youtube videos about nostalgic games and comedy that actually makes me laugh out loud

i got an app which limits my instagram and tiktok while giving me 25 minutes a day in case i need it. i could not delete instagram as a whole bc some of my friends are friends i made overseas and still keep in touch with

still a big emo fan, but i cut out a lot of songs that JUST straight up made me feel depressed and anxious and added more of bands who make relatively happier music, rock from the 70s, and edm.

how i feel now:

i am more in control of my thoughts, especially when alone

i am genuinely surprised when i watch a movie with a friend and they pick up their phone right after the title screen plays

i am more satisfied with myself as a whole, and i can rely on my intuition and senses better

i don't need "background noise" for everything anymore

what tips do you got?

i actually don't recommend that you quit cold turkey, because it might be too difficult and you might just end up saying "ehh whatever, i was never cut out for quitting social media anyway" and start scrolling again. go slow

if you do feel that the music you listen to leaves you a bit too upset, but you also don't wanna do a 180 and listen to songs you lowkey hate instead, i recommend you remove the particularly depressing songs from your playlist (you can always listen to them again when the mood calls for it of course), and add in some more "middle" songs. or try on some new genres!

abt the previous point, if you have a DR where angrier music makes sense (like if you're in a rock band, your DR SP loves going to metal concerts, or anything of the like) you can make almost anything work! use that music as visualisation material. all of a sudden, instead of making you wallow in negative emotions, it's a source of power and imagination!

youtube videos, tumblr, and pinterest matter too! especially if you're over there overconsuming loa content. i use my youtube just for fun videos and subliminals, tumblr just to post (i barely look at other posts), and pinterest to add to vision boards.

if you're like me and can't doomscroll on your laptop, log in to the web versions of instagram and snapchat. that way you can text for an extended amount of time with your friends without getting distracted by the reels and snapchat stories

i really like the app ScreenZen, i think it works better than IOS's screen time protector thing

i recommend you keep your hands busy with something else. one of the main reasons why i started this blog anyway was so i could keep my hands off my phone (i'm typing this on my laptop rn). i also picked up knitting and drawing after years of not doing that

use your feelings as a compass. does it feel good when you look at that content? if not, cut it out. you will learn to trust your feelings more that way too

conclusion?

do a social media cleanse, or don't. i'm not your mom. i'm pretty sure my explanations, experience, and tips have spoken for themselves. if you have any questions or personal experience with this, i would love to read it in a comment. please remember to focus on what makes you feel good. that's the whole point

tl;dr?

get rid of bad social media things, keep the good and important. use your own emotions as a guide as to how you should proceed. be careful and be active. you do not need to quit the music you like. be gentle and honest with yourself. good for manifestation, self-trust, and focus.

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

Weirdly specific AOS headcannons

Lip balm edition

It's long af btw

Daisy is always losing them but usually just buys drug store chap stick. She likes to see what cool flavors she can get on missions. Jemma gifted her a really nice honey suckle bees wax one, and she keeps it in her room because she doesn't want to lose that one.

May has a single stick of chapstick, peppermint, and is the only one able to use one till the last bit without losing it. No one knows how she does it. It's gone through hell.

Jemma has the really expensive but eco-friendly beeswax kind, and she collects them religiously. She won't tell you how many she has but she know the exact number and has a little organizer and system.

Fitz has about 3 original burts bees scattered around his lab and room. He isn't allowed to touch Jemma' s collection anymore after he got too curious and a bit too drunk and took a bite out of one. Refuses to use Jemma's brand bc it's 'pretentious.'

Bobbi has one of those round eos ones because if it's too small she will lose it. She has one in each bag, and never goes anywhere without it. She despises mint lipbalms bc if she " wanted mint, there is toothpaste in the bathroom." There is a side eye from May when this is brought up. She also likes the Burt's Bees lip tints but she only uses them on special occasions. Somehow she lost her favorite lip balm....

Coulson uses the little tins of lip balm. He likes them because someone told him that's how captain America would have used lipbalm. May thinks it's adorable.

Elena likes to use lipstick but Jemma has convinced her to use the one Jemma picked out for her. She really likes the cinnamon scent. It makes her really happy because someone took the time to figure out what she likes.

Mack used to use either none or original drug store but the air in the shop is so damn dry. He had heard of Jemma's collection and asked for "whatever" because he didn't want to go out of base and buy one. She actually asked Elena about his cologne and what scents he likes. He got a really nice floral one, and he isn't ashamed he likes flowers. The tube looks very small in his hands though. Hunter made a jab at the flowers on the label and mack replied "At least I'm not crusty" Hunter decided to steal one of Bobbi's lip balms bc of this. He is "not crusty" anymore, according to him.

Hunter stole one of Bobbi's eos, and refuses to give it back or even admit it. He really likes the floral scent but he can't figure out which scent it is on his own. He can't ask because he once took the mickey out of Jemma's collection for being a " floral nightmare" in front of everyone. (She called him disheveled and said his skin was wrinkled and shrunken like a prune. She is very into skin care) He is now in too deep, as he discovered how mad Bobbi was that some "idiot must have stole (her) lipbalm, but who even steals a half used lip balm?"

Piper has a bad habit of chewing her lip, and just forgets to use lip balm. May told her to stop it because it was a really obvious tell. Jemma, being herself, gifts her a rapid repair extreme moisturizing one. Piper is extremely grateful. It also tastes bad which helped her break the habit.

Talbot thinks lip balm is for girls and sissies. He stated this when Coulson took out his tin of lip balm. Jemma did not like this. Jemma started on a rant about skin care and health. She took her lip ba to read the ingredients as Talbot called it a chemical scam from big pharma. The verbal sparring ended with Hunter walking in and saying "At least I'm not crusty" Talbot nearly threw the tube at him for that.

Ward uses his own ear wax.

[wisteriasymphony]

tweos feligami actually kind of hits. just because adrien finds them both insufferable doesn't mean i won't let them be happy. this is right after Emotion/Bal des Diamants btw

-----------------------------

"I don't get it!" she cried. "I thought- I thought it was all meant to work out! But he's nothing like how he used to be, and— and it seems like this is who he thinks he is, but-"

Felix understood himself to be suddenly and thalassically out of his depth in such a situation as this. Kagami Tsurugi was quite inconsolable regarding her betrothal, it seemed. If he hadn't been awash with sympathy, he would've gone back to gloat to that simpering cousin of his about how horribly he had played out of turn. That moronic pile of cow dung.

"It truly is a shame," he said, sitting next to her on a bench out behind the Palais Garnier. "A shame when the pieces fall apart in our hands. Without our knowledge to remedy, nor our consent."

Kagami ceased her sniffling for a moment, looking back up at Felix and saying, "...Yeah. It's.. exactly like that."

Good lord, she was absolutely stunning— Again, how had Adrien mucked it up this bad?

"I just... one time I conversed with him, and he seemed to imply that I'm only following my mother's orders like some tin soldier. But my mother knows what I want, doesn't she?"

"Indeed."

"And- And if I don't want this, if I don't want what my mother has spent years giving me, then what do I want?! What else am I supposed to want?"

"Perhaps to be understood," he suggested, after a silence. "I wholeheartedly doubt he ever gave you any of that."

"I mean... My mother understands me, right?"

"Is it really your desire to only have one individual ever understand you for the person you are, Kagami Tsurugi?"

Kagami pondered for a moment. If he should ever call himself insane, Felix would say he was within the very moment that he noticed Kagami's smallest finger stretch out to nearly touch his hand, before it fell back as if regretting such a thought at all. And, again, should it he made any clearer—This was Kagami Tsurugi that his cousin had so belligerently left to the wayside. Fencing prodigy and chess hobbyist, an Oriental English Rose, and a proper knockout too...

"Perhaps a sparrow would never know its song should it marry into a family of magpies," she finally stated.

"Until another sparrow beckons at her window," Like he'd planned on, Felix took her hand in his: Unlike his plan, he had taken it with much greater sincerity. "So that she may finally understand what it is to sing."

"Sparrows don't even have houses!" Kagami Tsurugi laughed, still blinking back tears. "How would they have windows?"

"Birdhouses, perhaps?"

Kagami chuckled to hersef again, before resigning to a sigh. "You're right. Perhaps my mother does not have to be the only person who understand me."