#does this make ANY sense?? lol
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something about s1-3 zane is just. oh this guy is so silly and friend-shaped. look at his friendly boy swag. like????? how could you ever hate him. the ultimate silly
not to hate on his titanium era because frankly it is very cool. but the essence of s1-3 zane is unique and uncapturable. he is just a little guy you can put in your pocket. his default facial expression is so inherently funny. there are no thoughts behind these eyes. i would trust him with my life.
#its almost 3am and i cant sleep HELP ME#ninjago#lego ninjago#zane julien#ninjago zane#my post#does this make sense? i am so fond of him like platonically let me just state this isnt any funny business. i just think hes neat#all the ninja have been my favourite at one point or another in my life (its now cole) but this era of zane i will forever be biased for#again im not being a hater of the new state of the show lol most of the characters are way better but zane is the exception imo#you can't improve upon perfection i guess x#AMELIA GO TO BED ITS 3AM#me: hmmmm why is my sleep schedule so screwed? why do i keep waking up at midday?#and then this is the shit i do at 3am#average amelia antics#amelia isn't funny
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There's an aspect of Original!Elias Bouchard that makes me so sad to think about in a weird kind of "meta" way.
And that's the fact that he has to be labelled as the "OG" not as Elias.
Technically speaking Elias has been dead for years. It's Jonah that's taken over - literally having his eyes removed and replacing them with his own and living as him (he even seemingly keeps his "old fashioned haircut" on Elias' hair).
And yet we as the audience don't often call that form of Jonah "JONAH". Instead it's Elias, cause he's been Elias for 4 series at this point.
"Elias started the apocalypse", "Elias beat that old man to death with a metal pipe" when it was never really Elias in the first place.
He's been so robbed of his own identity that not even death can spare him; all of Jonah's actions in his body are recognised as him.
(Btw this isn't me saying you can't call Jonah!Elias straight up Elias, I do that regularly ofc. I'm just being emo rn lol)
#I'm tired out of my mind so i hope this makes sense lol#og!elias was such a dick but he does make me very sad#any legacy or reputation he could have had positive or negative is taken away by force and tarnished by Jonah#og!elias#og!elias bouchard#elias bouchard#original elias bouchard#jonah magnus#the magnus archives#tma#tma spoilers#?#idk at what point that tag can be dropped lol
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a Gemtaur thing I didn't like from many months ago
#was very unsure about it so I didnt do anything more with it#I wanted the hops to look more deer-like but at the same time them looking heavier makes sense given the size of this gal#and then she does little tippy tap hooves at the end but it doesnt look good at all and I got frustrated at trying to correct it lol#in any case good practise though! Uh I love animation but I never fucking do it grrrrrrrr#geminitay#tubby art
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i am not an animator but the few animations i have made it really does feel like magic when it comes together. i used to think the way disney (especially older disney) talked about their animation as magical that they were being cheesy and sentimental but after actually trying it myself i totally get it. seeing all the pictures you drew come to life at the end it feels like it has its own soul or something
#esp for traditional animation (not that im experienced enough in either but esp digital to rly judge)#but editing together scans of physical drawings and seeing them come to life and move is so incredible#like i can hold the physical drawings of all the frames and see them in this totally different form on screen#like a seperate entity its crazy#does any of this make sense#mad respect to animators lol#also what makes traditional animation (the way I’ve done it at least) so satisfying#is that I don’t scan each frame once it’s done I do them all at the end#(I do this with the rough sketch animation frames first to make sure it moves normal)#so I only get to see it in motion at the end
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bro that's the same fuckin guy
#literally couldnt watch any scenes with In-Ho in Squid Game bc i just kept pointing at the screen like#that's?? that's literally Hannibal Lecter be so fuckin fr rn?#he even TALKS the same#they both talk with their bottom teeth does that make sense#like it's UNCANNY#Lee Byung-hun#Mads Mikkelsen#i know this will have been pointed at by thousands of ppl by now but it's BUGGING me dude!!!#i almost feel bad like Lee Byung-hun must be sick of this comparison lol
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Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Gaster#Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol#Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird#Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth#Not to mention the trauma#And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0#I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting#But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment#The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats#And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached#How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember#Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol#Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft
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People try too hard to make Curly an active participant in Jimmy's abuse. Isn't the whole point that he's passive in everything Jimmy does? Abuse occurs because he actively doesn't do anything? Not to call someone out or be mean, but I saw a post saying Anya's ID being in Curly's locker at the beginning shows that he intended to prevent Anya from filing an HR report and I disagree. I get where that interpretation is coming from, but I think it's a little uncharitable. I don't like being too kind to Curly because he's like...a morally mid dude at best lol But if we're going by the HR report interpretation, I would say it's more likely he requested Anya's ID in order to file an HR report on her behalf. After all, the only way to contact Pony (that we see) is in the cockpit, he's the Captain, and Pony Express sucks bad so I wouldn't put it past them to only allow the Captain to use the communication device thing. As we see before, Curly is the only one able to use tools around the ship that you would think other employees could use (ex. Swansea should be able to use the axe if he's the repair guy. Idk why they'd need an ax but that falls under manual labor which Swansea is designated for as the mechanic/fixer dude. But it has to go through Curly). I never got the vibe that Curly moved to actively protect Jimmy. He just lets things happen without say a word; Jimmy walks all over him, and by extension, the whole crew. I get why people would think that because he gives the whole "Hey Jimmy, we can get through this together, bud" spiel right before the crash. This part interests me a lot because there's so many ways to interpret Curly's intentions there. My interpretation is that Curly is on autopilot mode. The responses seem so stilted in comparison to Jimmy's. Like it's the kind of thing Curly's said before again and again and again when Jimmy's gotten in trouble. However, as others previously pointed out, I don't think Curly ever dealt with Jimmy doing something this irredeemable. He doesn't know how to respond, so he just goes for the default "You've gotten through tough situations before. Work through it one step at a time." Like the response is lame af lol I think he was in shock; he was scared (and just so I can say it one more time: he's super lame).
Anyway, this is way longer than I intended and I've said things a billion people have already stated. But uhhh tldr the whole point of Curly's character is he's passive; he never acts. He just watches. Making him an active participant in the abuse by taking actions to cover for Jimmy (like preventing Anya from filing an HR report) defeats the purpose of his character. He's a bystander.
#and I'm defining active as in like consciously taking actions to help Jimmy cover his tracks and stuff like that#because I know being passive can be seen as the same thing as actively participating in the abuse (which i agree with)#I just mean I don't think he's actually intending to help Jimmy by doing anything for him like taking Anya's ID away with nefarious purpose#I just didn't get that vibe#again I just thought he sucked lol like he just does nothing#so idk I just don't vibe when people make him too into helping Jimmy if that makes sense? I think it destroys the grayness of his character#they will never make me have a strong opinion of you Curly#but he is fine as hell ok lol I am not immune to buff blonde man#also like I hope this doesn't come off as mean to the person I'm referencing with the ID take if they see it#I just was thinking about their interpretation and was like ehhh i don't know if i agree and wanted to respond on my lil side account ;p#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#ok and I could see people saying he actively covers for him by doing the psych eval for him and being like uhhhh good enough lmao#but to me that's him trying to placate any issues between crewmembers on his ship esp. when it comes to Jimmy#which just falls under the bystander thing because he'll do the bare minimum to keep things peaceful#but when it comes to doing anything he's just like whelp idk what I can do and just stands there#he's so cool#ok also I realize they need the ax for the foam I just forgot about that lmao#i was a little tipsy when I wrote this plz forgive hahaha I just meant like an ax isn’t like normally in a mechanic’s tool kit lmao#adding a link to the Twitter post I mention so people can refer back to it if they’d like
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Was thinking about how much of a normo I come across as irl, how I’ve felt a lil odd person out at their shows bc of being a bit older (29) and looking so aggressively normal, how generally confused people in my life would be if they knew about my d&p obsession, how thoroughly i mask weirder traits and essentially codeswitch to suit the mainstream, etc.
i feel kind of fish out of water when I imagine how all the people that populate my tumblr phandom ecosystem are likely presenting to the world irl (I.e. more visibly queer, counterculture, and so on). But then I think maybe the most visible phannies are the ones with the most curated, alt, deliberate daytoday lewks/style? So maybe what I’m picturing is off base? But then I’m also basing this off of what audiences look like in audience footage, m&gs, etc.
Sooooooo i would like to know… do you guys feel like you present as someone who may be Deeply Online and obsessed with two gay nerds from the internet? Or do you hide it and fly under the radar, masking as a total normy and living a double life?
(To clarify I don’t mean you’re like out and about wearing the fringes boob sweatshirt lol I more mean vibes and overall lewk yk?)
#does this make any sense?#not to say we’re all abnormal freaks over here but also…. we lowkey are freaks lol#like this is not typical behavior#obvs when I say dressing alt and counterculture I’m aware phannies aren’t like a predominantly goth community or some extreme aesthetic#or what have you#I just mean that this is obviously not a super mainstream interest nor are they mainstream creators anymore#(arguably they never were. they were big but not mainstream. I think people entrenched in internet#and YouTube and phandom can become a bit tunnelvisioned and#and forget that even at their peak Dan and Phil were still#a niche interest and an unconventional one#but i digress)#basically I’m trying to figure out how many of us are also living double lives on here#I hope no one comes for my over this or it doesn’t get misconstrued#I just have like SUCH a normal job and so many people I know would be DEEPLY confused if they learned about this whole thing#and obviously there isn’t a clear binary of like normal vs. internet dwelling weirdo#and that we contain multitudes#and all things can be true simultaneously#I know I know I know you know that I know right?? but you also know what I mean right??#me yapping#dan and phil#phan
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i saw the terminal glow
okay,, merry late christmas whoops and goodnightt !! ALSO, thank you everybody for the insane reception on the first post!!, and also check out the donations/gfms on my main page for people in palestine/gaza who are in need! i cant donate, so spreading it around's the best i can do to help <3 ! donate if you can n share it around!
#ULTRAKILL#mirage ultrakill#ultrakill mirage#KRITA#MS PAINT#ALL ART#FANDOM ART#DOODLE#PRACTICE#FULL COLOUR#NO COLOUR#THE GEIGER COUNTER#SMALL CAPTION#EDIT FOR IMAGE ERRORS#EDIT FOR MISSING TAGS#TAG YAP#sorry about sleepy mirage i know its kinda scuffed :-( wuomp sfx#anyway okay so uh#mirage is my fav now#something i didnt expect actually#also a little goodie is that mirage and v1'll have head wires that literally spell out VI / V1#can you see it#v2 will have#well#theirs will be shaped like a VII#does that make any sense even#i hope it does LOL#the pink basket -comma- is from that warehouse store place i mentioned in my first mirage post! but not the stuff inside#Goodies are: Rice balls/Onirigi - Meiji Apollo Strawberry Chocolate - Hanamo Moromi#mirage is eating raw egg and rice in the top right
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Lawlight Week- Day 1: Firsts
when some guy on TV calls you a little bitch and you start to feel Actual Emotions for the first time in your life
I wanted to kind of leave it ambiguous as to what exactly Light is referring to here, but rest assured, he has never felt anything like it before he came into contact with that scrunkly man lol
#death note#lawlight#light yagami#l lawliet#light x l#this is my first post ever on tumbleweed.com I am shaking rn#please tell me I did this right lmao#reviving my blog to bring you the Toxic Gays for Toxic Gay Week lol#also please tell me if I am making any sense in this post#lawlightweek2024#l x light#fanart#dn fanart#my art#One of the main draws to Lawlight for me is that they make each other feel alive#for Light it's the thrill of being actually challenged by someone#feeling that there is someone out there who is a legitimate threat#It was entirely new for someone who has never had an equal to actually provoke him the way L does#god I hate them so much (affectionate)#lawlightweek
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another really interesting thing in our man bashir to me is that I think this is the point where garak finally mostly relinquishes his self-appointed role as bashir's teacher. he seems to have taken it upon himself early on, for inscrutable but probably partially horny, partially cultivating a promising (and lovely) contact reasons of his own, to imbue julian bashir with some spysmarts and basic bastard thinking literacy skills, in the hopes that he won't go get his bright beautiful excitable ass killed at the first opportunity. there's a lot of mentor/protege undertone there in the early years. (if you want to get into asit stuff, very much in the same vein as palandine and garak's relationship in the beginning.)
but in omb garak really only has one of his little lectures, and it's basically about The thing about being a spy (and a person) that has most shaped his life: That's something else you've yet to learn, Doctor. A real intelligence agent has no ego, no conscience, no remorse. Only a sense of professionalism. There is no joy, no magic, no real delight to this, no winning, no recognition, and most importantly no connection; the reward for work well done is only ever the work itself. You don’t kiss the girl, get the key — you simply get on with turning yourself into nothing as best you can. and julian, who had just been trying to momentarily imagine a world where secrets can be cool and glamorous and for good, meaningful reasons that empower him to help the world rather than shameful and isolating and alienating and like a damocles sword hanging over him and everything he cares about, shoots back with 'well, but what if not that, though? that's the whole point of this game! this is my story not yours, trust me to know it better than you do. (I have more things to teach you too, if you’d just listen. And once he gets shot a little bit, garak does listen.)'
(somewhere beneath all this is almost exactly the same debate they will have explicitly later on -- "Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all"/"If that's true, that's one lesson I never want to learn". Something something the freedom to imagine and play around with different worlds in your head, no matter how cringefail james bond LARP nonsense that world is as long as it brings you hope and joy and new perspectives, kill the part of you that cringes etc. Garak you're allowed to get out of the closet in your head now, Tain is gone, you can imagine different things than what has been and no one will turn it against you. Im… sad)
through most of this episode garak is observing, and when he's not simply bitching about everything from the sidelines (<3), he's tentatively trying to throw in comments to play along, to figure out how the flow goes like he's learning a different language, and he's BAD at it hahaha. he barged in there to put himself in a position to learn something about julian bashir's ~*hidden inner psyche*~, but UH-OH spiritual uno reverse card time he's having to face some shit about his own psyche and the immense barrenness it's been forced to operate under for so long.
The learning between them has of course always been two-way (that’s partially what the whole relationship is built on), but in giving up the more ‘formal’ role — mask — of teacher, garak is also opening up space for realer emotional intimacy, letting one layer of artificiality fall and allowing more realness to shine through. even so he doesn’t let go of control completely until he’s faced with irrefutable (horny) proof that julian’s sentiments and ideals are backed by real conviction — julian knows (possibly better than garak does) what is a game, and what is real, and where he draws the line between frivolous and deeply necessary is different from where garak would and by the end of the ep I think garak trusts julian more, enough to leave the story in julian’s hands without trying to steer or form him even indirectly/sneakily. And to top it all off, the way julian uses his last dramatic speech to signal that he did also listen to what garak told him… augh.
the teacher role, along with the lies (ever his swiss army knife god bless), has helped garak keep a sort of fine-tuned control of the level of emotional intimacy possible between them, stay in control of what narratives are even on the table. and I think finally letting that fade more into the background transforms their relationship in ways that can pay off big time down the line, for all that it leaves things a bit strange and tentative in the meantime. by garak standards he’s being positively transparent in this episode. for the first time he talks about his time in the order without any coy prevarication, he states his hunger for knowing julian better right down to his ~*hidden inner psyche*~ almost pathetically openly (<3<3<3<3). And this is just my headcanon and definitely not what was meant at the time of airing, the unplanned nature of the augment reveal being what it is, but in context of the whole show as it became it feels a lot like garak offering some of his own authenticity to signal that julian could trust him with his. It feels like garak has figured out at least the rough outlines of what julian has uh got going on and tried to make this gambit, having… perhaps underestimated the extent of the defenses julian has internally/psychologically against Being Known, quite aside from the practical real world consequences of his secret getting out. Anyway. Lots in this episode. Many thoughts.
#the our man bashir post that was promised#garashir#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#elim garak#julian bashir#does this make any sense. perhaps not. but at least it's out of my head lol#ds9 meta#long post
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Galladrabbles: autumn
Thanks, @millennium-time-machine, for this week's prompt. Great first prompt for @galladrabbles! <3
_________________________
His co-worker nudges him sharply, and Ian looks up as his crush approaches the counter.
“Hey, Mickey.” He sounds breathless. “The usual?”
“Hmm, feelin’ bold today. Gimme a venti pumpkin spice latte, eight shots of espresso, five pumps of maple pecan sauce, light foam, extra caramel drizzle, extra autumn sugar topping.”
Ian is stunned stupid. “Are—are you serious?”
Mickey laughs. “Nah, man. Just wanted to see that big orange head of yours explode.”
“Asshole,” he says, fighting back a smile. “So…tall black?”
“Well…did say I was feelin’ bold. How ’bout your number, too?”
Battle lost, Ian beams.
#i know nothing about ordering at starbucks#but neither does mickey!#so if this doesn't make any sense well yes it does#fun fact: mickey spent 15 minutes memorizing that order before walking in#happy pumpkin spice latte season for all who celebrate! lol#coffeeshop au#galladrabbles#gallavich#ian gallager#mickey milkovich#shameless#gallavich fanfic#ian x mickey#autumn
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I think it would be a little funny if, when you see cartoon kids watching cartoons, it’s just like realism. Youre watching the cartoon and you look at their tv screen to see what looks like a live action doc mcstuffins. I think it would be neat, if a little jarring.
#Does this post even make any sense#Im trying to restrain myself from explaining it in a long and worse way#I would draw an example but I don’t know if I can#Or should#cartoon#cartoon characters#animation#realism#live action#funny#meme#haha#lol#humor#ok shut me up im feeling sick
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was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.
and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.
because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"
and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.
and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.
and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.
so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.
and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?
and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr meta#can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol#yamamoto takeshi#sawada tsunayoshi#i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense#also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition#it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most#which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027#and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying#like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100%#he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way#also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/#they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference#and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark#because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive#and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know?#so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong#but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3#anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence#even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it#it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point#and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3
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obviously i enjoy cute happy cathartic chainshipping stuff but personally. to me. one of the reasons its so compelling is that they are two deeply incompatible people, trying to cling to each other anyway.
Lawrence, with his need for control and order, who was devoted enough to his family he was willing to cut off his own foot to try and save them, and Adam, who seemingly has no real direction in life, who cut off his parents for an unknown reason and who, in the original script anyway, was shown to be passively suicidal. a surgeon who has friends that are lawyers, and a freelance photographer who has friends like fucking Scott Tibbs.
they cannot be more different from each other. they're like puzzle pieces that don't fit, but by god are they going to try and force them together anyway because if they don't they'll lose the only other person in the world who understands what happened to them in that bathroom. and they can't afford to lose that they need that. they need the reassurance that what happened to them was real and that they made the right decisions and that they're okay now.
they would be messy and they would argue all the time and they would piss each other off to no end but they would be so incredibly dependent on each other that they would put in the effort to be together anyway. do u get it do u see my vision
#.txt#grabs u by the shoulders does this make any sense#they would not be happy and healthy walk off into the sunset together. AT FIRST. at first anyway.#in my humble gamer opinion anyway.#again thats not to say i dont enjoy them being happy and healthy together bc i do enjoy that i want that for them SO BAD#but i think them rly having to fight their way fucking tooth and nail to that happiness to that sense of normalcy is cool and fun#sorry this post is SO LONG#chainshipping#saw posting#lawrence gordon#adam faulkner#adam stanheight#adam faulkner stanheight#lol.#saw
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sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.
and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.
he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.
just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)
#lychee's brain trash#mako lok#mako tlok#sorry for the shitpost i don't do a lot of those i realize#how tf did this guy not had a massive break down in canon at any point#nd like;; he never shows resentment for the unfairness of it all#he doesn't ever use his past to excuse any of his choices/actions that are influenced by it#which is pretty intrinsically linked to his relationship fumbles#he just quietly holds himself accountable and probably mildly despises himself haha#as much as i don't care for the love triangle it really does make complete sense in accordance to his backstory#anyway this is just a roundabout way of me expressing my salt at people writing him off as a malicious asshole lol#i literally cannot articulate the intense complex things his conjured up existence makes me feel#this does not even scratch the surface there is SO MUCH#i need to actually write the fifty fics that exist to my brain otherwise all these thoughts will never see the sun#trust that one day the avatar!mako au will emerge from my drafts;;;#and. you know. that one shot i've had in wip for the past 2.5 years#and the four other oneshots that will probably never be converted into actual words
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