#does this count as an iteration? i think it does. the only similarity to rise really is my art style and their species of turtle

[phykoha]

Remember when I said last night that I have a turtle iteration?

[fabuloustrash05]

rank the canon love interests for each turtle, gO (i can't remember if you have already lol)

*cracks knuckles* It’s time for a lightening round of ship ranking!

Disclaimer: I’m rating these girls based on their romantic relationships with the Turtle that crushed on them/had a relationship with. This is NOT a ranking of their individual characters.

Leonardo

Unnamed Women/Yumi’s Mother (Mirage)

2/10

She was just a figment of Leo’s imagination so does she even count?

They have a daughter together which is nice, but also HOW DID THAT WORK??

Raven Shadowheart (Mirage)

7/10

Seems like a good ship

F in the chat for Leo, even when he has a GOOD relationship it can’t last long.

Lotus Blossom (1987)

10/10

The overall BEST Leo love interest.

The fact she gave him a flower to remember her by <3

Lotus deserves to make a comeback!

Can’t believe Nickelodeon chose INCEST over her!!

Karai (2012)

-1000000000000000000000000/10

WHY DID THEY HAVE LEO PULL A LUKE SKYWALKER?!

Koya (IDW)

2/10

I can definitely see the appeal and aesthetically they look good together but the CONTEXT of their relationship is BAD.

LEO IS THE REASON SHE IS DISABLED!!

Lita confirms they get together in the future, but WHY?? They have no romantic chemistry or hints that they like each other romantically. Maybe SHOW us instead of TELLING us!!

Toxic 95% of the time

April (Mutant Mayhem)

7/10

I usually heavily dislike April x Turtle ships, but I can’t deny that they were cute.

Leo’s moment of falling for her was actually kinda cute and funny.

His crush on her is not shoved down our throats like OTHER April x Turtle ships *cough* 2012 Apritello *cough*

I like that they went  to prom together <3

But again, I don’t think April should be shipped with any of the Turtles and I don’t see this ship lasting in the long term…

Seems like it’s a one sided crush like Dipper and Wendy from Gravity Falls, so I’m not convinced this will last in the upcoming show/sequel

Raphael

Ninjara (Archie Comics)

2/10

They’re cute but it’s not a really interesting ship

It looks too much like a cheap OC x Canon pairing

Mezcaal (Archie Comics)

7/10

The first and only time one of our Turtles boys have been married, congrats Raph!

A badass married couple

I hope her and Raph are forever happy together running that bar

Mona Lisa (1987)

10/10

Iconic!

Her kissing Raph then calling him “doll” is so cute!

She IS the ideal Raphael love interest. Her and this ship truly left a major impact on the fandom.

She is the go to Raph love interest people think of in any iteration (2003, Rise & MM fans all wanted and made their own version of her in the show)

Joi (2003)

1/10

Meh…

Idk if she counts but I added her cause some people shipped them

She is Raph’s only human "love interest" and it doesn’t feel right to me. 

Out of all the Turtles, Raph being with a human feels weird, the other Turtles I’m fine with being with humans. Raph has always been known to date non human characters so this ship doesn’t look/sit right to me, and doesn’t feel like a relationship that would go anywhere.

Alopex (IDW)

2.5/10

I just don’t like it

I guess it’s because I was introduced to Alopex in the 2012 series where in that she’s a 30 year old woman and Raph is a teenager, so this relationship feels weird to me.

Kinda toxic at times tbh but still cute when they need to be (which is rare)

She’s 17 and Raph is 20… But that was apparently “retconned” so Idk what to think

Y’gythgba/Mona Lisa (2012)

10000000000000000000000000000000000/10

THE BEST LOVE INTEREST AND SHIP IN THE ENTIRE SHOW!!

The ONLY GOOD and HEALTHY relationship in the show!

“What a woman…” ICONIC!!

Raph was loyal and Mona was devoted to him!

He falls for her because she punched him in the face. That is both hilarious and very in character for Raph XD

She’s as much in love with him as he is with her!

Badass warrior power couple!

Short King x Girlboss

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!

Donatello

Jhanna (2003)

3/10

Another “Meh” ship to me.

Similar to Joi, does she even count?? Apparently she does to some people and its a ship for 03 fans.

Fan versions of her and this ship from different interactions (1987 & Rise) are more interesting than the actual canon version of them in 03 tbh

I guess I’m just not convinced of this ship and I don’t like how they look together. It’s hard to explain.

April (2012)

4/10

Could’ve worked with a cute “friends to lovers” story but the writers ruined it.

Kinda cute in season 1, got worse after that. Season 5 was them at their best but that’s only because it wasn’t shoved down our throats by that point.

The love triangle brought out the worst in them (and Casey).

I like them better as best friends.

Hottake: Donnie was more of the problem than April.

Like I said in Leo’s ranking, April should NOT be a love interest for any of the Turtles.

Big Foot (2012)

-1/10

Why did this happen??

Batgirl (Batman Crossover Comic)

2/10

Got a thing for redheads, huh Don?

Not a huge fan of big crossover shipping like this, but his crush on her was cute so I’ll admit that. 

It was sweet she gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving. So good for you Don!

Mona Lisa (IDW)

0/10

JUSTICE FOR RAPH X MONA LISA!!

Obviously not my cup of tea.

The Nerd x Nerd trope… wow, so original…

She’s a bitch to him at times and invalidates his trauma. 

I really thought her and Jennika were gonna be a thing (which I would’ve preferred more tbh), so her with Donnie as a massive disappointing surprise and feels so forced.

Michelangelo

Princess Seri (Mirage)

2/10

Tragic. She betrayed him. That bitch.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR BABIES??

Also… MIKEY FUCKS??!

Kala (1987)

9/10

UNDERRATED SHIP!!

Two party loving teens who just wanna skate and have fun!

They keep pictures of each other as mementoes. THAT’S ADORABLE!!

Much like Leo x Lotus, we need this ship to make a comeback.

Buffy (1987)

0/10

FUCK THAT BITCH!! SHE TREATED HIM LIKE TRASH!!

Sara Hill (Image Comics)

4.5/10

I’m a sucker for the Turtles dating alien lizard woman.

I like the “friends with benefits” relationship they have. Feels like a Mikey thing he would do regarding his love life. 

I love how they bonded over their love of cartoons. Very cute.

She left him for another man though… WTF SARA?!?! YOU BROKE MIKEY’S AND MORE IMPORTANTLY MY HEART!!

Mitsu (TMNT III)

1/10

Bland and boring (Just like the movie!)

Princess Trib (IDW)

5/10

RESPECT TO MIKEY GETTING ALL THE PRINCESSES!! AND THE NEUTRINOS TOO??

Cute, but in the end I prefer him with Kala.

They are the only good Turtle ship (not counting Jennika and her girlfriend Sheena). But that ain’t saying much from me cause they’re still bland at times with little to go with.

How are they one of the better ships in IDW yet they are the most bland and uninteresting couple??

Renet (2012)

9/10

Very adorable!!

Works well romantically and platonically.

They’re both goofballs who are misunderstood by their peers.

Would be a 10 but Mikey was unfaithful...

Renet confirms they have some kind of future together.

I personally can’t see them staying together in the future, maybe having a friends with benefits relationship like him and Sara.

Shinigami (2012)

1/10

I like their dynamic, but not as a romantic one.

“Someone will die…” “OF FUN!” vibes.

Shini is obviously a lesbian and is dating Karai so…

Headcanon: They have playdates with their cats.

April (Bayverse)

0/10

WHAT DID I LITERALLY SAY IN LEO AND DONNIE’S RANKINGS??!!

The one Mikey crush that literally gives me the ick. I don’t like it.

C R I N G E

MIKEY SWEETIE SHE’S A FULL GROWN ADULT!! YOU ARE A CHILD!!

[bellofthemeadow]

Summer of '03 | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Series Masterlist

Rating: M for Mature (18 + no minors allowed)

Word Count: 2.8K

Warning: All warnings on the Series Masterlists, will update if necessary (Re-iterating, no minors allowed! Thank you)

Chapter Summary: You finally arrive in Texas, a world so different from your home in New York. You find that living next door is a man who confuses you. You can't figure out if he's just a stereotipically angry Redneck or the man of your dreams. Ah well, you've got the summer to figure the puzzle that is Joel Miller.

Notes: Hello everyone, welcome to my new story :D This one is going to be quite different from my last story as I am delving into the realm of enemies to lovers! I am so excited as I don't think that any other PedroBoys fits the bill las well as Joel Miller!!! LMK what you think of it, I always love to read what you think of my work and I would also be really stoke to speak with all of you.

I am also working on a taglist at present, so I should make a post probably tomorrow, so if you want to be added to the tagged post, let me know and I'll be happy to add you!

Hope you all enjoy :D

Welcome to Texas

Apparently, your entire life fits neatly into an 8x6 cardboard box, which is somewhat embarrassing. When you made the spontaneous decision to uproot your life and leave New York, little did you know that packing would only take 25 minutes and leave you with so little. However, every item inside that box was a testament to your independence. You had purchased each item with your hard-earned money, not relying on your parents or receiving them as gifts from an ex-boyfriend. Every single thing inside that box was truly yours.

As you set down the box in front of the small suburban house, you squint your eyes taking in your new home for the foreseeable future. You had to admit, it had a certain charm that you found refreshing. The tiny house was a stark contrast to the high-rise condo your family had in New York or the overly opulent summer home in the Hamptons where you’d spend your summer. This place felt nice and quaint, exuding a sense of simplicity that you were craving. The row of houses boasted a similar style, either one or two floors tall, constructed with reddish-coloured brick. The driveways were impressively large, accommodating even bigger trucks. It really does seem like 'everything is bigger in Texas'.

Everything about this neighbourhood screamed quiet suburbia. Since it was still early afternoon on a Sunday, you spied some kids zooming down the street on their bikes like a wild bunch of Tasmanian devils, while a cluster of older ladies powerwalked on the sidewalk and seemed deeply engrossed in their gossip. The sight made you chuckle, they kind of looked like a swarm of salmon with their pink velour tracksuit. You were kind of impressed. In this heat, the only thing you wanted to do was lie down on the cold floor for at least two hours or stick your head in the freezer for a minute—the jury was still out. But that was probably because of your New Yorker sensibilities. Most of the people you spotted going about their day seemed completely unfazed by what you would categorize as temperature from at least the 4th circle of hell.

You sighed and put your arms high above your head, interlacing your fingers and giving your back a much-needed stretch. As depressing as the sight of the lone cardboard box holding your entire life was, you were glad that you didn't have a lot of stuff to take with you from New York. The drive had been almost unbearable. As a New Yorker, you didn't have many opportunities to drive that often, and this trip had actually been the first time you had driven your brand-new Alfa Romeo GT. It was a Christmas gift from your grandma, chosen for both sentimental and practical reasons, and you decided to take it with you as you up hauled your life to literally the other end of the country.

No one in your family had understood why you wanted, no, needed to leave, except for Granny Mabel. While your parents scolded you as if you were still a pigtailed little girl, timidly requesting seconds at dinner, Granny Mabel simply glanced at you, winking beneath her oversized Givenchy glasses, as she took a generous sip of her red wine. In that fleeting moment, you knew that no matter what unfolded, you would have the approval of the lionesses of New York’s Upper East Side.

But after what felt like three days of almost non-stop driving, you were ready to declare that you didn't even want to look at your car for at least a week. You felt like you had your share of driving to last you a lifetime. Although you knew that wouldn’t really be possible. After all, Texas was not known for the same kind of public transportation as New York. Ah well, when in Rome—or in this case, Texas.

As a few neighbours started to cast curious glances your way, you became aware of the possibility that loitering around an empty porch on an early Sunday afternoon might raise suspicions. You opened your handbag and rummaged through it, moving aside packages of half-eaten candy bars, a couple of lipsticks, emergency wet wipes, and tampons before you finally found the paper your friend Robbie had given you before you left three days ago.

Scrawled in your friend's messy chicken scratch, were an address and a name: "Joel Miller." Beneath it, a hasty note explained, "Joel was Great Aunt Ruth's neighbour. He was helping her with the property ever since he and his daughter moved in next door. We asked him to hold onto the keys until someone could come to take care of the house after Aunt Ruth passed away. Joel knows you're coming. Take care, my dear, and I'll miss you. New York won't be the same without your judgy ass!"

A smile spread across your face as you read the words. Robbie had been the most important part of your life in New York. You both met during your first year of college. You were studying pre-med, while he pursued performing arts at NYU, dreaming of a future on Broadway. Instantly, you connected with each other. Despite your family's legacy of surgeons, you had always yearned to be on the stage. So, in your first year, you took a theatre elective and met Robbie. The two of you became inseparable. His apartment in Brooklyn provided a refuge from the suffocation you felt at home, and you ended up spending most nights there. By the fourth month of your friendship, you even started contributing to some of the utilities, although Robbie insisted you didn't have to. But you didn't mind. Your parents had money, and you used a lot of hot water, so it was the least you could do.

And now, here you were, on the other side of the country, ready to take a break and maybe have some fun! You silently prayed to any gods out there, hoping they would listen and guide you toward figuring out what you truly wanted in your life. Happiness seemed to be slipping away with each passing day, and you hoped this summer would bring some clarity. You looked back down at the piece of paper, making a mental note to call Robbie once you got inside the house to thank him and reassure him that you were alive after that long trip.

For now, you needed to escape the scorching heat before you melted away. Your hair was beyond recognizable because of the frizz humidity brought out, and sweat patches were forming under your armpits. You cringed at the situation but tried to reassure your growing anxiety: "Who cares what Joel Miller thinks? You thought. You've been through more embarrassing moments than being sweaty in front of a middle-aged dad." Memories of laugh-snorting vodka cranberry all over your crush Colin Robertson's shirt at a post-finals party two years ago came rushing back. You were convinced you had permanently stained his favourite white Lacoste polo with cranberry, judging by the disdainful looks he had given you ever since. So, dealing with a middle-aged redneck should be a breeze in comparison.

You hurriedly made your way to the neighbouring house, desperately hoping that Joel Miller would be there. The thought of being stuck outside indefinitely made you want to cry. You tugged at your jean shorts, which clung uncomfortably to your sweaty thighs, and adjusted your oversized "1991 - Walt Disney" t-shirt, a hand-me-down from your older brother. You tied it in a knot at the front, revealing a sliver of midriff. It dawned on you that you needed to buy more weather-appropriate clothes—an item added to your ever-growing to-do list.

As you stood in front of Joel Miller's house, you hesitated. What if Robbie had forgotten to inform him about your visit? Would Joel think you were some kind of psychopath? He’d definitely think you were a little crazy. Taking a deep breath, you firmly knocked on the wooden front door. When, after a solid minute, there was no response, a sinking feeling of disappointment washed over you, suggesting that Joel Miller might not be home after all. You decided to try ringing the doorbell—once, twice. As you debated whether to attempt a third ring or call Robbie, you heard noises from behind the door, followed by a loud exclamation, "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, give me a minute!"

You felt yourself turning pale, and you began fidgeting with your rings, mentally preparing yourself for whatever was about to happen next. The door was ripped open, and your temperature skyrocketed as you faced the man in front of you. Joel Miller was... not what you expected. He loomed before you, tall and imposing, with a mess of dishevelled brown hair crowning his head. What you first noticed was the broadness of his shoulders, it made your mouth go dry as you started to imagine what it would feel like to hold these shoulders in the throws of passion. You could almost picture yourself under him, naked and sweaty, holding unto him and leaving kitten scratches on his powerful back. Your eyes started to take the man in front of you, he was clad in low-hanging sweatpants, his powerful thighs and defined waistline were accentuated. Your gaze was transfixed on him, unable to look away. You were certain you spotted what had to be an impressive bulge in the front of his thin pants and you wanted nothing more than the check if he was as well endowed as he seemed to be. Joel Miller was a man unlike any you had encountered before, emanating a potent blend of masculine confidence and ruggedly handsome charm. You felt insignificant and childlike in your own outfit. What would he think of your sweat-soaked Disney shirt, your perspiring face, and your overall dishevelled appearance? You wished you could rewind time and change into one of your nice little baby-doll dresses, the one that deliciously played on innocence and sinful seduction, you always felt your most confident in them. At least, you wished you had freshened up before meeting this man. Your mother had always emphasized the importance of first impressions, and now, as you observed the fury in his warm brown eyes, it seemed like you had utterly shattered any chance of making a favourable first impression.

The deep baritone of his voice snapped you out of your reverie, as he demanded, "Who the hell are you?" You stammered, "Ehh, I am so sorry to bother you..."

"You better not tell me you some kinda salesman? 'Cause if ya woke me up from the only full sleep I’ve had in two weeks to sell me some bullshit air conditioning, Imma get real fuckin' mad!” You gulp and squirm under his angry stare. "I reckon the appropriate term is salespeople, to be inclusive, you know." Your voice squeaks in an embarrassing sound. What the hell was wrong with you? You weren't some kind of shrinking violet, but at this moment, under Joel Miller's hard stare, you felt like dying. Or at least digging a hole and hiding inside.

"I am really sorry to bother you, Mr. Miller," you try to muster a modicum of confidence, "I am a friend of Robbie Levitt." When Joel's face remained impassive, you felt like it was his permission to keep going. "He is… was Ruth Kaplan's nephew… ehh, the lady who lived…"

"I know who Mrs. Kaplan is," Joel Miller cuts you off and stares at you, squinting his eyes. "You that rich kid from New York?" You feel yourself groan inside, fucking Robbie babbling about your business to everyone. As much as you loved the guy, he was a complete gossip. You simply nod your head, feeling quite unable to say anything, completely tongue-tied.

"You’re late," Joel Miller's words are biting and sharp, and they are cutting into you, making you feel small and childish. "Late for... what? I'm not sure I follow," you say softly.

Joel Miller sighs loudly and shakes his head. "That Levitt kid told me you'd be here yesterday evening, waited late for you to come around, princess." You feel yourself grow even hotter, either from the embarrassment of seeming flaky or from the nickname; you aren't sure yet.

"Oh," you softly say. "I am sorry, I didn't realize. Robbie just said to be here over the weekend. I didn't realize you'd wait for me."

"So , what? You thought that because you some kind of rich important lady from the city you could waste my time? ‘Cause I’m just some redneck contractor from Texas, right? Who cares if you waste everyone’s time, imma right?” His stare is hard and you don’t know what to do or say without making him even more mad. “It’s not like that, I never thought… I am really sorry.” You settle for, thinking it’s your best bet so as to not antagonize him further.

A low growl, “It's fine," he responds curtly and abruptly. It doesn’t sound fine; you think as he looks like he is 5 seconds away from slamming the door in your face. But my god, everything about this man is hard, his words, his face… his body. You don't know if you should love it or hate it, but as your eyes fall to his hard pectorals you feel yourself falling into the former category. "Wait here." He disappears inside his house before returning with a set of keys he promptly drops into your hands. "Here you go."

"Thank you ever so much, Mr. Miller. And I am really sorry again about last night… And for waking you up and everything" You cringe as a dismissive twitch of the head serves as his feeble reply. As you pivot away, trudging along in a pitiful display of humiliation toward Ruth's house, the air fills with Joel Miller’s deep voice once again “Here's a life tip, sweetheart. When someone doesn't answer the door, maybe ya need to take a hint. Not all of us can afford endless days off or live in a rent-free house. Some of us have real jobs, princess, and those of us that do appreciate every bit of peace we can get.”

You feel like crying, tears gathering up in your eyes, but you won't let them fall. You won't give Joel Miller the satisfaction of knowing that he made you cry. So, you settle, "Sure... I apologize for everything. I didn't mean to be a bother." No answer, so you take it as your cue to leave, feeling dismissed like a child at school.

You turn around and try to muster your best fake smile, the same one you used for your mother and father and give a little wave. "Hope you can get back to sleep soon. I'll make sure to not be in your way again." And you scurry away as fast as your legs can.

Summer of fun and discovery is off to a great start, you think sarcastically, as you rip Aunty Ruth’s door open and let the tears fall. Goddamn it, why did you have to antagonize the most handsome man you'd ever seen in your entire life? Joel Miller, you think. You should despise him. He was unnecessarily mean and condescending. Sure, you had been in the way, but how were you to know he would be sleeping at 1 pm on a Sunday? You groan, at this point anyway, he probably loathed you. Yet, strangely enough, you had never encountered a man who could twist your insides as intensely as he did. In the 5 minutes conversion you had with him, you felt your inside growing hot and your belly erupting in a million of butterflies. You wonder what his eyes would be like if they weren’t hard and angry. They were brown and warm, so you imagined how they would feel raking over your skin with longing or desire. Yeah, that’s not going to happen, you think as your mind cringes back to the awful words he said.  

Joel Miller. Even the mere sound of his name left a strong, lingering flavour in your mouth. You squirm, feeling conflicted, not knowing whether to yearn for his strong domineering presence or simply try your best to avoid him like the plague this summer. You shake your head, you'll sort out your feelings, or whatever hormones this man triggered, later. Right now, you just need to find the damn freezer and try to cool down. However, after meeting Joel Miller, you're well aware that the fire inside you will continue to burn hard for some time.

Next Chapter

[jadethest0ne]

You say you don’t like AU tropes but enjoy the fan arts of it. Which would you say are your personal favourites?

Oh yeah! I tend to gravitate towards AU art and comics more. I think it's largely because I enjoy the character design aspect. Like, I've seen some pretty cool ones that I just think look neat, even if I don't know a lot about the non-tmnt aspect of them. For instance:

Horizon Zero Dawn AU by @dovelydraws

Genshin AU by @tomiyeee

and these cool Star Wars designs I saw floating around by @urfavvcaleb

Those ones I don't know much about story-wise, but I just like how they look. I like the details and thought that goes into the design! It's less "I like this concept" and more "ooh pretty art!"

Then there's these AUs that I enjoyed for a bit, and even liked some of the comics and stories that came out of them:

Avatar AU by @dovelydraws and @eternalglitch

Species Swapped AU by @almguav, @taytei, and @void-inked-pen

And this one Separated Mikey AU by @taytei

And finally some current, ongoing comic AUs that I've been following lately:

Hamato Wanderers AU by @thegunnsara - a very gorgeously drawn comic of the Rise boys in ancient Japan. I adore the designs and just how alive the world feels. The vibe reminds me of the original Mirage comics, but still Rise, somehow. I like it! :3

Separated AU by @cupcakeslushie - the main thing I like about separated AUs is more about their reunions than the separation. While the subject matter in this one is quite dark, the creator somehow manages to make the story incredibly wholesome and heartwarming, and that's why I like this one a lot. It also has excellent balance between all of the characters (most separated AUs focus on one turtle, but this one gives pretty equal weight to them all)

Rise of the Parallel by @indieyuugure - technically a crossover, but I'd consider that AU-adjacent. The 2012 boys land in the Rise world and they both have to deal with the Kraang from both of their worlds. Pretty much the only crossover story I've found that I like, largely because it gives equal weight and screentime to both iterations, its goal isn't to vilify either version (for once), and it doesn't fall into unnecessary interpersonal drama. Instead it feels like a good-faith crossover between the two versions, has some angsty fight scenes, and is interspersed with in-character comedic relief

Cass Apocalyptic Series by @somerandomdudelmao - not sure if it counts as an AU if it is a canonically confirmed AU, but I'm counting it haha! So I tend to not like a lot of art/comics/stories of the future turtles. I also am not a big fan of future boy Casey. But THIS ONE has grabbed my attention. And I think it's because, similar to why I like cupcakeslushie's Separated AU, it takes dark material and makes it wholesome and laden with some much-needed fluff. I feel like making something sad is easy. But taking something that is sad and infusing it with hope and love and heartwarming moments is hard, and this series does it so well!

So those are a bunch of the more visually represented AUs that I have enjoyed. I got a little bit wordy with those last ones, but they've been on my mind, mostly because they managed to make me interested in something I tend to not be interested in, and media that can surprise me like that often sticks with me.

Thanks for the ask and for giving me a chance to give a shout-out to some artists and creators that I appreciate!

[some-french-asshole]

I tried to keep it short, I failed

1987

Iconic, simple, cute. I think it's just the right amount of effort and detail for what they were aiming at. Their respective initial on their belt is just the right amount of goofy and the flashy colors make them easily recognizable. The main problem for me is that none of their personality is translated into their designs. In the case where someone didn't know anything about the brothers, they would not be able to tell what their specialty, interest and general personality even at the most surface level.

3/10

2003

Same comments as the previous iteration. Though I will say they look more like actually vigilantes. Now they actually look kinda dangerous and that's cool af

3,5/10

2012

As opposed to a lot of people here, I have no nostalgia whatsoever towards this version. While I enjoy the attempts at making them more distinct from one another, the muted colors of the whole show, the general silhouette of the brothers, the overall lack of energy emanating from the designs is really underwhelming to me. The limbs are bulky, the muscles not defined enough, the facial expressions not, well, expressive enough (this is mostly due to the CGI, which is much more artisticly limiting than 2D). But while I don't want to talk about animation, I have to point out that it does most of the job when it comes to characterizing them.

6/10

Rise:

So expressive, you look at each of them and you know immediately what their personalities are: the shape of their body (general silhouette, shell, markings etc), their gears and protections, their bandanas, the colors and I could go on and on. It's very hard to not go into detail for each of them since they are all so different so I may make my own post about their designs. Only "problem"? They do NOT look their age... I refuse to believe they are 13-15 years old (I barely count this a true problem, this is more of a discrepancy between story and design, of they had been older let's say 18-20 I would have believed it no problem)

9,5/10

Mutant mayhem

A huge step down, clearly back to the 2012 designs, it's still very early to say. I'm just very disappointed they didn't try anything new again. I understand Rise's designs were a little much for a lot of people but I think the turtles designs have to change through each iteration to stay interesting and relevant in their era. 1987 was simple and goofy, 2003 was similar but edgier , 2012 was more childlike but more detailed and Rise threw everything out the window, kept the very essence of the ninja turtles and it resulted in something flashy and dynamic. This one is... well it's something we've seen already.

4,5/10

rating some tmnt looks

1987

hmmmmmm 9/10

i love how smol and squishy they are. maybe it’s a personal bias but i adore them

2003

ummmm 7/10

i personally love their designs but they don’t look like teens. maybe 18 or 19, but not 15. still tho, i do like the designs as a whole. muscular but still short hehe i love it

2012

9/10

i love MOST of the design elements. they look like teens to me for sure and they still look muscular and smol and ahksjks so perf. only complaint is that they’re kinda hard to draw and i wish their faces were a bit more squishy like 87 and 03. BUT OTHERWISE I LOVE THEM.

rise

ooh y’all are gonna hate me but 5/10

i do like them. i do. but they’re too skinny and uhhh pretty?? idk like i wish they looked dorkier lmao. i also wish they looked squishier like the others. but i will say, the art style itself, as pointy as it may be, is still super fun. i can accept it as it is. it’s just not my personal cup of tea.

kudos for making them have more outfits like the 87 turtles tho.

mutant mayhem

based on the leaks on both concept art and the chip bag recently i’d sayyyyy 8/10

i may update it once we see movie stills, but holy cow i’m in love with these designs. maybe a bit too skinny, but i love their face shapes and how dorky and teenager-y they look. and yesss return of the colored gear and initialed belt buckles!! i love an 87 throwback.

[outofangband]

Masterlist/Explanation of the Dark Arafinwë verse

Other masterlists

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Maedhros is attending a formal event near Alqualondë and is accosted by another elf. Unable to wrangle the truth from the ages of pre-existing biases and feuds, Teleri wardens arrest both the accoster and Maedhros who finds himself fighting against his own memories. When, to his very great surprise, Arafinwë himself intervenes on his behalf, Maedhros is brought back to the palace to be kept under supervision until the matter is investigated. (More details at the end notes)

CW: forced stripping (non sexual), abuse of power, callous disregard of past trauma/exploiting trauma responses, dissociation, gaslighting 

Edit: I’ve had some people tell me that the gaslighting in this story is very difficult to read so I wanted to give an extra warning for that element

Tag list: @iwenttomordor @elarinya-nailo @mozart-the-meerkitten @tears-and-lilies @much-ado-about-whumping 

“Strip.”

There was no malice in the command, simply an almost weary calm. Nelyafinwë was aware of his own eyes widening just as a sense of unreality came over him. The soft warmth of the evening felt suddenly oppressive and the clean and comfortable room he had been lead into twisted and distorted. He took a step backwards and his half uncle raised an eyebrow.

“I know you carry weapons upon thy person, Russandol. For rather obvious reasons I cannot allow you to keep them.”

The room did not come back into focus but Maitimo gave a small sigh, apprehension as much as relief. He raised one booted foot and undid the laces, pulling out a small blade and handing it over to Arafinwë who pocketed it with a small nod of acknowledgment. Maitimo then undid the other boot to show there was nothing in it.

Arafinwë looked impassively at the other elf, fingers pressed together at his chest.

“It would not be very prudent to simply take thy word, Russandol. Remove the rest, I will give you something to wear.” Maedhros’s gaze traveled to his face, his own expression of startled disbelief. He waited for a few moments for Arafinwë to leave or turn away. Arafinwë does not. 

Maitimo swallowed, aware of the tingling, almost trembling in his arms or legs. He started on the buttons on his tunic so it fell into two sides, revealing the scars on his chest. Including the numerous iterations of kinslayer carved or tattooed into his flesh. He winced as he thought about this, not wishing to force Arafinwë to view another reminder of what had happened here so many years ago.

But he handed the tunic over over. Arafinwë set it and his boots on the bed, more of an examination table than for rest. He gestures for Maitimo to continue when the Noldor prince pauses again. Next come the trousers, slightly scuffed from the altercation that had landed him here in the first place. The heat rises to his ears and he can no longer maintain any sort of eye contact, directing his gaze to the floor instead.

Maitimo procrastinates pulling off his leggings until Arafinwë makes a soft sound of impatience, jarring him back to the present. The present where he is standing almost completely naked in front of the king of the Noldor in Valinor.

“I was there when Angamando fell and I have worked as a healer. I know you are scarred. Please remove the rest.”  

Maitimo hands over the last of his clothes and finally Arafinwë looks away from him, gathering up his leggings, tunic, trousers and boots along with his jewelry. 

“Stay here, Russandol. I will bring these to my guard to examine.” He starts towards the door.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Maitimo sees that the beaded bracelet Rôg had crafted for him is visible in the pocket of his trousers. He longs to hold it, to rub the smooth stone between his fingers as he does when the memories of the past intrude so vividly into the present.

“Lord Arafinwë?” He starts to say but the look on his half uncle’s face, that same impassive, cool interest, prevents any more words from leaving him and he merely shakes his head and waits as the other leaves.

...

Arafinwë returns nearly half of an hour later and Maitimo has not dared to move, even to try and cover himself. Loathe as he is to admit it to himself, any scolding or reprimand he might receive is likely worse than the shame of being so exposed. The door is closed, perhaps it was locked. 

The king moves past him to take up his previous position. His expression has not changed. 

“I am afraid you will have to be restrained for the night, Russandol. I do not have guards to spare.” Maedhros looks up at him, his heartrate spiking again. 

“I do not need to be restrained, My Lord” he says slowly, carefully, “I am hardly going to attack you nor anyone else, naked and with no weapon.” 

Arafinwë studies him. “I have absolutely no idea whether or not you will attack another should you become frightened or angry. I cannot afford the possibility that you enter such a state and harm someone. Lay down,” he gestures to the narrow bed before continuing, “This is a process that would typically be done by our wardens. Are you not grateful you are not suffering this under the hands of strangers?” 

Maitimo was more acutely aware than ever of his nakedness as he took the few steps forward and lay down on his stomach. He hears rather than sees Arafinwë come to his right side, using a strap made of a soft leather to fasten his hands down. He urges himself silently to breathe through his nose, to remain calm. By the time his ankles were also strapped down, he had to actively count his breaths to keep them steady.

“Open your mouth.” This next command is spoken as calmly, coolly as the others, it is only Maitimo who is experiencing the dizzying panic. He doesn’t obey this time. Arafinwë approaches him again, kneeling beside his head and holding out what seem to be more of the leather straps. 

 “Your teeth are a weapon, Russandol,” now there is something like sarcasm, mocking in the king’s voice, Maitimo is sure of it.

 (Is he sure?)

“You can hardly be surprised that you are not trusted here. Do you not understand I have made this process significantly better for you? Open your mouth. This will not hurt you and it is only until the morrow.” 

Maedhros tastes cleaned leather as something is forced into his mouth, preventing him from moving his tongue. More straps are fixed around his head. Arafinwë is careful to keep his hair out of the way of them so it does not become caught or tangled. But the parts that press against his face irritate the old scars made when less considerate hands strapped similar devices over him. 

Finally, Arafinwë takes a step back. Maedhros’s shallow breathing is softened slightly by the piece in his mouth. 

“Good. Get some rest, Russandol. I will check on you in the morning.”

To be continued

Author’s note: This type of gaslighting used both implicitly and explicitly throughout here, the “no, of course there’s nothing sinister about me doing these things, that’s just how you’re interpreting them because of Angband and it’s really offensive of you to compare me to the Dark Lord” is incredibly insidious and makes me really angry! Unfortunately it will only get worse from here. 

Author’s note: Maedhros was caught off guard here and his shock as well as his guilt is used to manipulate him into thinking this is legitimate procedure however he soon starts to understand more how dangerous Arafinwë and please know that he becomes an absolute nightmare to hold hostage. Or well he’s not currently a hostage but he’s soon to be

There is more about why Ara is doing this linked in the AU masterlist and more will become known as the story progresses! 

More backstory here:

Maedhros is attending a formal event near Alqualondë and is accosted by another elf. Unable to wrangle the truth from the ages of pre-existing biases and feuds, Teleri soldiers arrest both the accoster and Maedhros who finds himself fighting against unpleasant memories of being confined and restrained.  He’s alone in his cell, trying not to flinch whenever a guard comes by and alternating rapidly between the instinct to fight and scream and lash out and the instinct to hide and be subdued. He sees the guards stop and bow and he stands and walks to the door and sees Arafinwë. To his astonishment, he’s told that Arafinwë has agreed to have him released into his custody. He can’t leave the city for a few days, at least not until the matter gets sorted out. Maedhros starts to refuse just on instinct, saying it’s not necessary, etc. Arafinwë looks loftily at him.

“Do not speak foolishness, Russandol. Come with me.” And the guards unlock the door and nod to him and he can’t exactly insist on staying in prison especially because he is actually innocent in this encounter so he agrees reluctantly and follows Arafinwë to his carriage.

[bubmyg]

there was no particular reason i wrote all this down other than reading the translations to my universe made me cry last week because i’m just Like this. this is a mini compilation of yoongi lyrics that i hold gently in my palm and close to my heart in a he’s my artist for life kind of way. these aren’t all my favorite yoongi lyrics, i certainly have more but not ones that fit this general vibe. 

this is like extremely disorganized, i kind of just wrote it like a journal (and i’ll probably copy it to my bullet journal at some point actually). interpretations are my own, music is cool in that we can all read and hear the same thing and get different things out of it (which is why yoongi has often said he doesn’t attach specific meaning to things, giving it up to the listener instead)

so yeah. here’s me being fond of yoongi in 4k for no reason other than. idk. i wanted to. all translations are from doyoubangtan and doolsetbangtan. 

song request - lee sora ft suga

“I’ll be with you, for your birth and your end; That you’d remember that I’m with you, wherever you are; I’ll be a comfort for your life at any time, and so; please, that you’d lean on me and take a rest, every once in awhile.”

to me, this perfectly encapsulates what creating music is for yoongi in a two-fold kind of way. not only does he want his music to be a source of comfort for those who listen to it (just as the art of music is for himself), he’s also consistent in his assurance that taking a rest is okay. not being okay is okay. simply existing for the time being is okay. it’s a gentle empathy that comes from the experienced heart of someone who’s not going to tell you that it is okay, but will tell you that it won’t always be like this. friendly little moon trying to get you to smile with him on sleepless nights.

so far away - agust d ft suran

dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships

this was on my undergrad graduation cap. it’s one of my favorite lyrics of all time. if so far away is my heart song, this is my heart lyric. this is a common motif in yoongi’s lyrics; dormancy is only temporary, you will bloom at the end of the cold winter.

dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life

creation to end is another common motif n his lyrics. in this specific context, i imagine it to most closely be analogous to holding dreams close to you your entire life. dreams are dreams no matter how they manifest, even if they’re simply something you long for until your “end”.

Hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life; It will be generous to you wherever you stand; It will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships; The beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be

the entirety of this song reads like a story and this last refrain reads like the conclusion (kind of). the slight wording change from the previous choruses means a lot in that regard, more definite and firm. you will be okay. maybe not now, maybe not next week. but you will be.

suga’s interlude - halsey ft suga

Though the dawn before sunrise is darkest; don’t forget the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness

just a really pretty but heart wrenching lyric in the context of the entire song. he’s also used this metaphor several times. i love me a good string of consistency with minor adaptations to fit the vibe. this song also made me cry the first time i read the translations lmao.

my universe - coldplay ft bts

Because the trial we face now is just for a moment anyway; All you have to do is to just keep shining bright like now; And we will follow you, embroidering this long night

this could mean so many things depending on how you wanted to contextualize it. of course the song is about love, so you could view it in that way. we’re in the midst of a global pandemic where we can’t see each other. or maybe it’s simply existence. continue to exist and one day your bright light will be followed even in the darkest of nights.

also the og title of telepathy being 잠시 (for a moment) is so...min yoongi you are so cool

people - agust d

Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom?; The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret

Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries; Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries

super simple to understand which i think makes it more poignant. especially if you contextualize it with everything he’s said or written regarding the plight of fame and how he himself grapples with it as min yoongi.

28 - agust d ft niihwa

just this whole song. if song request encapsulates yoongi’s musical ethos, this captures a lot of his general musings.

paradise - bts

Just living like this, surviving like this, that’s my small dream; Dreaming dreams, grasping dreams, breathing breaths, it’s often too much

a more blunt take on the simply existing is a good enough dream. yoongi’s 2018 new years message was one of the things that made me go “yes. Him™” so paradise is very <3 for me

interlude: shadow - bts

Flying high scares me; I mean, nobody had told me; how lonely it is here –;how my leap could be my fall

another thing he uses frequently, even as recently as an interview regarding permission to dance. the contemplation of how a fall is far scarier than landing because getting back up is uncertain.

Yeah, I’m you and you’re me, do you finally get that now?; Yeah, you’re me and I’m you, do you finally get that now?

the entirety of this song is haunting particularly paired with the sampling and the music video as a visual but this part is just...the whole idea of competing internal voices throughout the narrative of the song or if you’d rather truly treat the lyrics like a piece of literature, you have quite the unreliable narrator, one that’s trying to grapple with his own sense of self.

140503 at dawn - agust d

Pretending that I’m not lonely, pretending that I’m not suffering; needlessly pretending that I’m okay, and pretending hard that I’m strong; I built a wall in front of me, “Don’t come inside”; I’m an island in this wide ocean, “Don’t abandon me”

the entirety of agust d just makes me ache but i mainly pulled this part because he uses the island metaphor consistently. here, it’s used like i said before; achingly.

this song also gets overlooked a lot in the larger context of agust d but anyway

eight - IU ft suga

Island, yeah this is an island; a small island that we made for each other; Yeah, mm, forever young, the word ‘forever’ is a sandcastle; A farewell is just like an emergency text warning of a disaster; A morning met together with yearning; As each of us pass this eternity, we’re sure to meet again on this island

can i be honest and say i forgot this song came out at the beginning of the pandemic. anyway, if you haven’t heard the various times that jieun has spoke about this song and it’s conveyance, i encourage you to. the music video also gives a beautiful visual.

i wrote a small analysis of this when it came out so i’ll just put it here 

burn it - agust d ft max

I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage

of course this can absolutely be taken at a literal meaning especially considering he said a similar iteration of this to someone on kkul fm BUT i also like looking at it in context of the entire song because maybe this is him trying to convince himself too, especially considering the wording of the last chorus doesn’t change it so it implies in order to get past the fire u need to let it burn first? burn it = giving up on some aspect of pain?

i see why max didn’t shut up for eight months about making this song i wouldn’t either hello

outro: tear - bts

im including this one firstly because i love the song but secondly to say i knew the second u all were surprised by yoongi saying he wrote this as essentially a break up song for bts and they all cried while listening to it that y’all don’t actually read or interact w their lyrics fjdklafjsd

just bc it’s a rap song doesn’t mean it’s a diss or a flex. weirdos.

intro: never mind - bts

I hope you forget about all your mistakes and such; Never mind; It’s not easy, but engrave this in your heart; If you think you’re going to crash, accelerate more, you idiot; Never mind, never mind; Whatever thorny path it may be, go run; Never mind, never mind; There are a lot of things that you can’t control

the entire composition of nevermind is similar to first love and shadow to me where you can just hear the emotion in his voice while performing it

this is also another general idea that he mentions a few different times through different songs which as we’ve seen i am <3 for

intro: the most beautiful moment in life - bts

once again i don’t have a specific lyric to pull i just love this song so much and i feel like it isn’t talked about enough because first of all the use of the basketball throughout the instrumental, the incorporation of the origin of his stage name into an entire song regarding his general existence as a performer and coming into the beginnings of sizeable fame, and just his general way of essentially writing one giant ode to something he loves and analogizing it to something else he loves to talk through internal struggles.

aka im once again saying min yoongi you’re so cool

first love - bts

same line of awe from above this whole song is just a story, a poem, a journal entry, a beautiful confession, i don’t know. this is yoongi’s best bts solo u can argue with a wall about it also if you were able to see this live i hope u have a terrible week (im joking)

every fancam i’ve ever seen of this makes me cry. so. do with that what you will in regards to how i feel about this song.

[radramblog]

Full-Art Lands Pt.2

Hello internet persons, this is Rad from 2/9/21 speaking. I am tired from an early early shift at work, and also just got the first vaccine dose, so I’m going to be posting these words written on Monday when I anticipated exactly this level of exhaustion. This might defeat the purpose of “a blog post a day”, but its hardly the first time I’ve done it and also I think I have a pretty solid excuse.

Anyway. This is a continuation of a discussion of every Full-Art Basic Land set in Magic: The Gathering, starting now with Modern Horizons. It counts!

Modern Horizons

Kind of cheating, because technically the Snow-Covered Lands are different cards, but unless you’re building around them (or a card like Extraplanar Lens) then they’re functionally pretty much the same. These are also literally the only Full-Art Snows, so if you’re running those then this is basically your only pimp option.

Ultimately these are kind of held back by the fact that, well, everything has to be blanketed in snow. There’s some interesting blues going along with the Plains and Mountain, and there’s some fun sky colours, but the remainder is left a little bland.

I currently believe these are worth investing in, for what it’s worth. Both Full-Art Lands and Snow Basics always go up eventually, slowly, over time, and these are still less than a dollar each for now.

 Secret Lair: Artist Series: Seb McKinnon

This one is kind of a special case, because there’s just a Swamp. And there are technically two of them, but one is just an older version of the art. So I wasn’t sure whether or not to count these.

Because of these limitations, it’s hard to recommend these unless you have a lot of money and also a mono-black deck. They look great, matching Seb’s excellent style from the other cards in the drop, but it’s a bit of an awkward one. That said, I just have these sitting around, seeing as I got this drop just for the Damnation, so…might as well, I guess?

 Theros: Beyond Death

Much like Amonkhet/Hour of Devastation, this set has one full-art mixed in with several regular basics. The difference is that these are representative of Nyx, the world of Theros’s gods, with its symbolic and nebulaic art.

There’s no real getting over the part where these just look like the Basic Energy cards from the Pokemon Trading Card Game. Considering WoTC’s hand in designing that game, and that the two are equivalent because, well, WotC designed them that way, it’s a fair comparison. But I don’t think this is why these ones aren’t as good as other full-arts. I have two main issues with these lands, and the first is that, well, there’s no land on them. For a set themed around a specific plane, one would expect that plane to be represented in the art, and Nyx does have actual landscapes on it. I get the space-themed design, but they could have been up in the sky above an actual Mountain or whatnot.

The other is the missed opportunity of these being Nebulae. That’s a fine enough design choice, though the symbology is a bit hammered in, but like. In a set based on Ancient Greece and its astronomical focus, with Gods that look like and are represented by constellations, with a mechanic called Constellation, they probably should have just been constellations. It would have made for a more subtle, less, well, Pokemon look, as well.

 Unsanctioned

New Un-Set, new basics. These ones are kind of a hybrid between the Unglued and Unstable ones, with that golden frame and almost borderless design. I’m actually not sure how I feel about these, since while the frame looks nice, it’s also kind of pointless, and the texturing on the mana symbols is a little weird. I don’t like how smooth and reflective they are.

The art is at least still excellent. Not John Avon, but Adam Paquette does a great job distinguishing himself, less realistic but still believable places that feel fantasy. I actually feel like Unsanctioned was overall a miss, especially since each box came with like 2 of each of these basics, but that’s not something I’m holding against them.

 Secret Lair: The Godzilla Lands

Secret Lair has been an opportunity for WotC’s designers to experiment a lot with card frames, though this set of basics doesn’t quite represent that. I’m not sure how well this one did, to be honest, though they did make future basic-only SLs, so fair enough I guess.

So, do you like Godzilla? Because he’s on all of these, along with some other Kaiju from the greater series canon. It’s kind of a little distracting, because the landscapes are otherwise gorgeous. Ironically, though, Godzilla himself is kind of being a scale-reptile in these pieces, giving a sense for just how big that mountain is, or how far away the “camera” is from the ground.

The only Island I see in that Island is Godzilla himself, though.

 Double Masters

These are just a set of reprints from Unhinged and Battle for Zendikar, but in a more borderless style. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about the Unhinged arts being blown up like this. But this is a reprint set, and these are honestly kind of boring, so eh.

 Zendikar Rising

Another Zendikar more lands etc. etc. you get the idea. Like the title suggests, this iteration of the plane has a lot of vertical exploration in its flavour, and the new basics reflect this. Especially  in the Plains, Islands, and Mountains, that sense of adventure and traversal is back from the first Zendikar set.

Interestingly, this one doesn’t have any reprinted arts, unlike Battle for Zendikar, even though there’s only 3 of each land here. There’s probably something to be said about distancing this set from BFZ- that set faced a fair bit of backlash, and it is thematically very different from ZNR. There’s also the conspicuous absence of the Hedrons, apparently having been replaced in art and in flavour by the Skyclaves. No, I still don’t know what those actually are supposed to be.

At the end of the day, these cards do end up making Zendikar feel like it’s lost its edge a little. They’re just a bit too bright and friendly for my liking, even with the inclement conditions in some of the images. I think it literally just might be the clear, bright skies in this one.

 Secret Lair: The Unfathomable Crushing Brutality of Basic Lands

Yeah these are about as edgy as the name suggests. Monochromatic and striking, this set of basic’s iconography is much more evocative than literal, the mood of the colours in their themes, captured largely without them.

It does greatly amuse me that literally all of these arts contains skulls. Talk about gothic. I like these a lot better than the Theros: Beyond Death lands, despite the similarities- Particularly, that the mana symbols aren’t literally just the standard ones- arguably the Island is, but it at least is in the form of negative space.

I can’t get over how thematic these are. Plains embodies community with its weapons and runes and roots, and the human face on the Sun icon. Island represents the vastness of knowledge with its endless waters and starred skies. Swamp is death, skeletons mired in the depths of the surroundings. Mountain is fire, bold and unflinching, while Forest’s gnarled branches running through the skull shows the unflinching nature of, well, nature. They’re all so utterly sick.

 Innistrad: Midnight Hunt

The most recent addition to this list, and one you actually can’t get yet. I think the frames on these being so thin is excellent, since it means they aren’t taking away from the spectacle of the art- not to mention the monochrome of the border and art.

These pieces are magnificent gothic landscapes, the kind you’d expect to see illustrated on the inside cover of Frankenstein or a Lovecraft story. Each and every one of them is ominous in its own special way, with the Swamp that’s a ruined river town to the rugged cliffside path of (presumably) Geier Reach. And the Island with the waves crashing across the cliffs is utterly gorgeous.

Obviously we haven’t seen these in paper quite yet. And the monochrome may make it difficult to tell them apart at a glance. But these are sacrifices I am willing to make for the sake of style.

This is the sum total of all the FABs. For now. Something I didn’t quite realise when writing this was the sheer number of options for this kind of pimping, and how much they’ve ramped up in production over the last few years. Much like with the increase in cards in general, I suppose, as well as premium product versions like the Secret Lairs. I would be genuinely shocked if the game ever exclusively started using Full-Arts, but I’d also not be surprised if we saw them yearly at the longest. 

Either way, I’m sticking with my BfZ lands, because those are the ones I already have!

[marlinspirkhall]

Tomorrow Never Comes, Chapter 04: Revelation

Cw: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Chapter Word Count: 3,316 words

[Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5]

 Jim spends the next few days hauled up in the server room trying to find something he’s overlooked, but, with the exception of Klingon legend, the records of this planet are practically nonexistent. There are a few scattered reports here and there- things which, under ordinary circumstances, would sound too outlandish to entertain, if he hadn’t experienced them himself.

 ‘Crash-landing results in bloodbath […] sole survivor, Lewis McAllister [...]’

 Jim doesn’t understand it. If the entire crew died on impact, and they experienced the time loop, they should have regenerated. Plus, if his ship was still repairable after a crash-landing, it’s unlikely they actually crashed at all. A controlled landing, perhaps. Jim slumps down, and slams the keyboard in frustration. He’s missing something obvious, some big piece of the puzzle, but he has no idea what.

 “Back to plan A,” he murmurs to himself.

 “I must admit, James-”

 Jim dodges the blood Leland spits at him, and twists the blade. “You didn’t think I had it in me; I know,” he grits. Once again, Leland’s eyes widen in surprise. He claws at the front of Jim’s jacket, but, by now, he’s heard every possible iteration of his last words. There’s nothing Leland could offer which would help them escape this planet. He’s beginning to wonder if there’s a way out at all.

 “Jim.”

 Footsteps, through the undergrowth. Jim wipes his blade on the grass, and Spock watches him in silence.

 “I have something to show you,” he says, finally.

 Jim looks up. So far, the cleanest method he’s found to kill Leland is to catch him unawares, usually while he’s shouting “Rise And Shine, Campers!”, but it’s always messier with a knife. They depleted their supply of ammunition for most ranged weapons a while ago. Despite this, the “Kill Leland Again And Again” plan is beginning to lose its novelty and take on a perverse domesticity.

 “Okay,” Jim says, slipping the blade into his pocket. They drag the corpse away from the tree with ease. This, after everything else, is becoming a daily chore. They usually dump the bodies in the woods on the West Side of the cabin, but, today, Spock slings Leland over his shoulders, and heads towards the East.

 “What’s going on?” Jim asks cheerfully, swinging his arms beside him as he bounces after Spock.

 Spock only glances at him, his face stony.

 He stops skipping.

 The trek takes an eternity, though Jim knows it’s probably distorted by his own anxious anticipation. He sticks close to Spock, despite the swaying body. He wonders how long it’s been, truly. A year, at least. Maybe two. Three? He wonders just how fucked up his life must have been before that this can almost feel normal.

 He watches the swinging hand.

 It does feel normal.

 Jim trips on something, and the force of it sends it flying a short distance. It crashes into a pink boulder, and falls to the ground with a clatter. Jim frowns, and moves over to inspect it. It’s plastiform, dark grey, and warped around the edges. The casing is crinkled, collapsing in on itself, but it looks as if it was once rectangular. A bent metal strip is peeling off the side, and there’s something engraved on it.

 A smooth, triangular spaceship.

 The Starfleet insignia.

 Jim straightens up, a tight feeling in his stomach. He’s positive that neither he nor Spock have ever ventured this far into this part of the forest before, but he can’t think of a time when Leland would have had the chance to get this far- not when he still had a power pack. Unless...

 A short distance up ahead, Spock has stopped moving, and watches him.

 “Is this what you were going to show me?” Jim asks. If there’s evidence that other people were stranded here before them, then-

 “Part of it.” Spock shifts Leland to his other shoulder, and begins moving through the forest again. Jim frowns, and follows.

 As they continue walking, the floor of the forest becomes increasingly littered with spent power packs, some in better shape than others. Some are waterlogged and bloated, worn down by years’ worth of rain. All the same size. All of the same make and model.

 Eventually, the trees become more sparse, as they approach the mouth of a clearing. Spock stops walking, and sets Leland down by the entrance. After a moment, he straightens up again, watching Jim almost… Coldly.

 His stomach does a backflip.

 “What’s going on?” He whispers.

 “I think you know,” Spock says.

 “I don’t-”

 Something pale catches Jim’s eye in the undergrowth. He starts. It’s curved, and flesh coloured. Or, rather, it was once flesh coloured. Now it’s a pale, washed out grey.

 A single, rounded ear.

 His breath stutters. He glances to Leland’s body, but, somehow, the shapes don’t seem to match up. He raises a hand to his own ear, and gently traces the outer shell. Somehow, it matches. “What…?” He breathes. He recalls a flash of something. A memory of a memory.

 Like a computer rebooted too many times.

 He takes a halting step forwards, and Spock doesn’t follow.

 The floor of the clearing is embedded with tiny scraps of fabric. Dark, black denim. Flannel. A red, criss-cross pattern.

 Jim presses forwards, ignoring the similarities to his own outfit. There are articles of clothing scattered here and there- a shoelace, a button hidden under a tree branch- even the occasional body-part. A hand. A finger.

 What was it Leland had said, the first time they met?

 “A phaser blast at this range… That’s not something you come back from.”

 The things he find become more and more complete- a whole shoe, an entire plaid jacket. Two jackets, laid out next to each other; one more discoloured than the first.

 He stumbles forwards, his breathing heavy. There’s buzzing up ahead. Shapes. A swarm. Heirin doesn’t have flies, not exactly. These are more like tiny, carnivorous humming birds, but their function is the same.

 Like vultures, he thinks.

 The clearing is littered with empty power packs, and a few- unusual- weapons. The handle of a knife blade. A few, broken copies of the penknife he has in his pocket. The splintered remains of a chair.

 He averts his eyes from the dark pink creatures, and tries not to look at what they’re feeding on.

 The sound becomes unbearable.

 He stops moving.

 The clearing is filled with corpses. He doesn’t get any nearer; this is close enough. Blonde hair. Startled expressions. Various states of decay. And, these are just the bodies which survived. He wonders how many were disintegrated, or lost in space, or-

 A hand touches his shoulder. He jumps back from it with a strangled sound. Spock is stands behind him, his face carefully neutral.

 Ask him how I knew, Leland had said.

 Jim balls his hands into fists, shuddering. “You tried to kill me,” he says; voice small.

 Spock surveys the valley. “Look around you, James. We did more than ‘try.’”

 Jim staggers backwards and leans against a tree as he wills down the nausea. All the while, Spock watches him without betraying emotion, every bit the flawlessly logical Section-31 agent- and Vulcan- he was trained to be.

 “Why?” Jim whispers. He digs his nails into the tree, green bark flaking off in chunks.

 “It was always the plan to kill you.”

 Jim swallows, dryly. “That first night…” He shivers, “That’s why you told me to run.”

 “Yes.” A bird cries in the distance; a soulful lament. Spock inclines his head. “Were circumstances different, my advice would remain the same.”

 “But; instead, I’m stuck with you,” Jim says. He balls his fists, and wills him, silently, to disagree.

 Spock widens his stance, and folds his arms behind his back. “Yes.”

 Jim’s breath catches in his throat. He gives a jerky nod. “So that’s what he meant,” he whispers. “That’s how Leland knew how to shut the outpost down; he watched me do it. Over and over again. Before-” he breathes. “Before he killed me.”

 Spock gives him the slightest nod, and Jim shakes. “You never told me you’d gone through with it! You never told me that you had actually-” he swallows. “What made you change your mind?”

 “You.”

 Hope flares in his chest. “Why?” He croaks. “Because I kept coming back? Because I was- kind to you?”

 He raises an eyebrow. “Because, between you and Leland, you are the person most likely to discover a way out of here.”

 It’s a punch to the gut. He trembles, reaches for his pocket, and stops.

 He almost laughs.

 “You know, I really thought Leland was wrong about you.” His voice cracks. “That you weren’t the unfeeling, cold-blooded killer he groomed you to be.” There’s a beat. “I guess I was wrong.”

 If there’s a flash of defiance in Spock’s eyes, it vanishes quickly. They regard each other for three heartbeats, and then- though it’s late, far too late, to take his advice- he begins to run.

 He continues until the rain begins, and he thinks back to that first day. His heart thuds. Not the first day. Just the first day he remembers. The signs were all there, he just never wanted to see them. He thinks of that first, solitary scrap of torn, charred plaid. Flannel, scattered indiscriminately throughout the clearing. The same shirt, over and over and over.

 A drop of rain falls onto his exposed skin, and he continues running, even as he’s pelted by it. They hit as hard as hailstones, falling faster now that he’s out of the densest parts of the forest. He runs without direction, the night-time smothering everything, and trips on roots, a fallen branch. Something twisted, bent out of shape.

 He runs until he can’t take it anymore, chest burning, and slumps against a tree.

There’s a crackle overhead, shapes arching through the branches. A flash of light, illuminating purple leaves. He tilts his head back, the water soaking his face and chin, and slides, helplessly, to the ground. His vision blurs, and he takes a shuddery breath, willing down nausea. He hugs his knees to his chest, and allows the tears to fall; thick and heavy enough to compete with the downpour. He’s heard poems claim that tears get lost in heavy rain, but their composers have clearly never cried in a storm before. He can easily distinguish between the cold, frozen pellets of rain which strike him, and his own tears, comparatively warm. The only spot of warmth in this whole forest.

 The rain which strikes his face is frozen, unrelenting, each drop piercing, and his own tears are, by comparison, almost pleasantly warm. They slide down his face, unusually comforting, and their frequency begins to lessen. He hugs his knees, growing still, and gradually colder.

 Thunder rumbles overhead, twice. What was that old method for finding out how close a storm was? One Mississippi, two-

 That’s when the lightning hits him.

*

Spock runs through the forest, the footprints hard to trace now. There’s a strip of plaid snagged on a branch up ahead, and he rushes forwards, slipping on the wet soil, quickly becoming mud.

“Jim,” he croaks, stumbling once more.

“Stay away!” A voice warbles, high and shrill. Spock turns, and sees Jim cowering beneath a tree, shaking. The right side of his face is drenched in blood. He holds a hand over the place where his ear used to be, and gives a wet sob.

 “Jim-”

“No.” Jim wields the penknife with a hand trembling too much to do any harm, but Spock doesn’t get any closer. He surveys the scene for a moment, his face set into a thin smile.

“You will not harm me.”

 A shaky exhale. “What makes you so sure?”

The rain falls harder.

 “That is your non-dominant hand,” he says, at last.

 A gulp, which could be aborted laughter. “Do you think this is fucking funny?” He hisses.

“No.” Spock raises an eyebrow, and approaches, crouching beside him beneath the tree. It offers rudimentary shelter, and they’re already soaked through. Jim strikes at him clumsily, and Spock catches his wrist, twists, and disarms him with ease.

Spock settles against the tree beside him. Jim’s body heat radiates off him, and Spock resists the urge to lean into him. Jim hangs his head, weak from blood loss, and glowers up at him.

 “Why don’t you just kill me?” He whispers.

“Because he can’t,” booms a voice behind them. Leland steps into view, and watches Spock with a predatory smile.

 “It could be informative to see the long-term results of keeping him alive,” Spock argues, carefully dispassionate.

 Leland clicks his tongue impatiently, and nods to his phaser. “Get on with it.”

 Spock blinks, and Jim slumps against the tree, sniffling softly. Spock makes no attempt to grasp the phaser, and looks up at Leland blankly.

Leland snorts, and retrieves his own phaser. “I told you.” He turns to Jim, almost apologetically, and fires.

Spock flinches as Jim disintegrates next to him, and breathes unsteadily. There’s a distinct odor in the air, like ozone.

Leland winds the setting down. “Let’s be clear, Spock. If you let him escape again, I’ll kill you first.” He grins, nastily, and turns the phaser on him. “But then, you’d never remember your lesson.”

There’s a fizz, and the phaser charge hits him in the shoulder. Spock jolts. He grits his teeth as the burning encompasses his entire arm, spreading like ice. Leland crouches down, and places a hand under his chin.

 “It goes higher without being lethal.”

He stares at him.

 “It’s painful, though,” Leland continues. He laughs, and strikes him across the face. “Though, I suppose, you don’t feel pain, do you?”

Spock exhales, and watches his hand. “Leland-”

 “Ah!” Leland places his fingers to his lips, and raises an eyebrow.

 He swallows. “No,” he says. “I don’t feel pain.”

Leland pats his cheek, and stands. “Then sit still.” He levels the phaser at him again. Spock clutches his injured arm with one hand. He turns away slightly, and wet hair falls over his face., clinging to him. He makes no move to swipe it away.

 “See, what you’ve got to understand, Spock, is that we’re not like you. Humans are impatient.”

 “Humans are impatient,” Spock repeats, as Leland fires again. It catches Spock in the leg, and he squeezes his eyes shut, leaning against the tree.

 “He wouldn’t wait for you.”

 “He wouldn’t…” Spock breathes raggedly.

 “Say it.”

He gasps desperately. “He wouldn’t wait for me.”

 “He’d dispose of you in an instant.” Leland’s voice is firm. “You’re better off with me.”

Spock grits his teeth, and breathes through his nose. There is no pain, he thinks.

“Spock,” Leland says, his voice sing-song.

 He looks up at him through half-closed eyes. “He wouldn’t wait for me,” he manages. His eyes widen as he realises he’s got the mantra wrong, and the phaser powers up again.

 “I’m better off with-”

 A burning warmth crashes over him, and he passes out from the pain.

*

Jim.

 Jim groans, curiously warm, yet cold at the same time. He shivers, but he’s on fire.

 “Sphh?” He manages. His tongue tastes like ash.

Jim, the voice says again, all around him. He opens his eyes, but everything is dark, fuzzy, too bright. A tree. Moonlight. Something dark, pressed against him. A coat. There’s a strange sort of pressure on his forehead. He turns his head, but it follows him.

“Hnn,” he mumbles.

  Arms lift him into the air, and he shudders violently.

Be still. The pressure on his forehead increases slightly, and his eyes flutter closed.

When he next comes round, he feels noticeably warmer. He opens his eyes, just a fraction. He’s lying on his side, on a makeshift platform of pillows, and something flickers in front of him. He reaches an arm towards it. It’s pretty. He can almost touch it-

 A hand joins his own, and gently guides it away.

 “That is a fire,” Spock murmurs.

Jim stirs, and rolls onto his back. His clothes are hanging on the mantel above the fireplace, and he’s aware, distantly, that a blanket has been thrown over him. He grunts, and passes back out.

 The next morning, he wakes in his clothes once again, yesterday’s clothes still drying on the mantelpiece. He wonders is the duplicate items will simply disappear when they escape Heirin.

Escape.

He sits bolt upright, as everything hits him with one, horrible jolt. The lightning. The memories. Spock.

Spock sits across from him, cross-legged, as if he fell asleep watching over him. Keeping sentinel. Jim realises he was meditating- or, at least, attempting to. He studies his face for a moment- so still, he could almost be sleeping. He should just leave. Get in the shuttle, and keep going. But, he knows where that would get him. Right back where he started; again and again and again.

 Spock’s face twitches, and he stirs. He opens his eyes, with a low, drawn out hum. “James,” he rumbles, and looks sharply away. “If you will still permit me to call you that.”

Jim blinks, and then remembers- My friends call me Jim. Spoken a lifetime ago. Several lifetimes, apparently. “Right.” He exhales. “I guess we’ll find out.” He pushes the blanket off, and tries to keep his voice light. “Were you meditating?”

“Attempting to.” His face flickers. “How do you feel?”

“Alive,” he says, warily. “What… Happened?”

 Spock inhales. “When you were struck by lightning, I initiated a meld, to save your life.”

 “That’s why I could see your memories,” Jim breathes.

 Spock shifts uncomfortably. “I was not aware I was projecting them. Without the ability to meditate, I have found my control to be… Lacking.”

Jim nods, and rises. “Then I’ll have to avoid getting hit again,” he says. “At least we’re on a planet where lightning always strikes the same place twice.” He walks over to the dining table and its three chairs, and thinks about the broken chair he’d found in the forest. “It’s almost funny,” he snorts, softly. “It’s like discovering that your date has been taking you to all the places their ex took them, only-” He turns. “Discovering that he once took you to a shooting range, and I was the target practise.”

 Spock stands. “Leland is not my ‘ex’.”

 “I-” Jim places a hand on the back of the chair. He can almost feel it splintering. “You were really going to let me waste my time going over every single experiment you’d already done?”

 “On the contrary; your approach to the problem was different to Leland’s, and my own. It proved insightful, in some ways.”

 “Sure. Let’s face it, if you’d learned anything from ‘observing’ me, you wouldn’t have showed me that clearing.”

 Spock hesitates. “That was not the reason. I found it… unexpectedly difficult to inform you.”

 Jim looks away, and takes a steadying breath. His hand clenches on the back of the chair. “You said...’’we’ did a lot more than try.’ But- I saw- in the meld…” His shoulders tense. “I just need to know-”

 “If I ever tried to kill you?” Spock’s lip twitches. “No. But I was there, Jim. Every single time. Does that not make me complicit?”

 The tension leaves his shoulders, and he lets out a long breath. “Maybe,” he murmurs. “But- it doesn’t mean you’re responsible.”

 Spock tilts his head, as if in contemplation. Then, his eyes widen.

 “Leland,” he says. When Jim attempts to move, he places a hand on his arm. “Allow me,” he says, with a strange intensity. Then, he retrieves an axe from the wall, and marches out onto the Veranda.

 Jim watches him leave, with a grim smile. “Right.” He whispers. “Leland.”

[Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5]

[theorynexus]

Retrospective Analysis of Dirk:

After the initial thoughts I had this morning, following some light (re-)reading, I have come to various conclusions: The role that Dave Strider played in the Meat Epilogue was nearly identical to that that Dirk’s Bro (Alpha Dave Strider) played in the story---   DOOMed rebel fighting against the rise of another dictatorial Crocker.   I am sure that Dirk realized this, both considering the fact that this was an echo of Dave’s soul across the multiple instances of himself, and because he partially engineered this eventuality. Intriguingly enough, this might imply that Rose likely would have sided against Crocker (Jane) if her ascension had not incapacitated her and Dirk hadn’t been puppeteer-distracting her at the time (for reasons beyond her connection to Kanaya). More importantly, it helps establish an important further parallel:  Dirk acted as the puppetmaster in the shadows, essentially controlling the election and determining its outcome from the beginning.   Lord English remained the most important force in the Alpha Kids’ world and session in much the same manner, despite )(er Imperious Condescension’s attempted Rebellion. Both individuals were playing broader and longer games than the women they were manipulating to suit their purposes.  Though Dirk’s purposes have not yet been revealed to the fullest extent, Jane Crocker had a narrower perspective that failed to grasp the true nature of the battles going on and underestimated her “supporter” ‘s power and intentions. This relates to another way in which Dirk Strider and Caliborn/Lord English:  Both of them represent iterations/avatars/fulfillments of the idea of Calmasis---   both tricked a Calliope into losing a major confrontation by making her confuse an attack on one piece with that of another (a major short term/immediate objective--- an attack on a queen [in Dirk’s case, Jake English/the election] ---with an attack on the king [Alt!Calliope, who acted as essentially the commander of the forces opposed to him]); furthermore, and more importantly, both act as protagonists and antagonists to the story at the same time (villain and anti-hero).   Dirk presumably sees himself as working towards the perpetuation of reality by forcing more conflict into an otherwise ended story; or alternatively, sees himself striving for freedom in opposition to causality and enslavement to cosmic will (which would jive well with his Kamina-esque aesthetic).  Meanwhile, Caliborn/Lord English obviously served as the main villain of Homestuck, but were also the protagonists of their little side adventure and was trying to develop himself and expand his horizons despite his severe disadvantages, much the way the Kids and Trolls did. Dirk’s fulfillment of that role may have actually been why he downplayed the importance of Complacency of the Learned in his conversation with Rose just before he began to subsume her will in earnest. Of course, that is somewhat speculative, and hard to prove, one way or the other. ... Regardless, upon making these sorts of connections, I began to think about whether Dirk was intended to become a villain from the moment he was introduced, and/or relatively early on.  Andrew Hussie seems to have a habit of working out many plot details a great deal in advance (see the Alpha Kids being hinted at as early as Act 4 with Jake’s letter to John, Doc Scratch probably being intended to have been/contained at least an iteration of Dirk from the beginning [as shown via his comment to Rose that she ought to think of him as a kindly human uncle figure-- shoved in our face via a certain Truthsplosion]), so the idea didn’t seem all that farfetched. After all, as referenced in the above parenthetical reference, Doc Scratch shows that Dirk always had at least the potential for villainy in him, under the right circumstances. The first thing that jumped into my mind (other than the fact that Bro is a bit of a dick, I guess, and the early narrative of Act 6 emphasizes the fact that this is in fact the kid version of Bro quite a bit) was the fact that Dirk’s introductory period created clear parallels with two trolls of a highly corrupt moral character---  Vriska and Equius:   Beyond the obvious tendencies to manipul8 others and his willingness to “cheat” in certain ways (defeating Squarewave in a rap battle bit exploiting his weakness to liquid shorting him out, teleporting his head to Jake for the revive+kiss with the intent of forcing a start to their relationship that way, et cetera) Dirk is also pining for a Page who he attempts to force a redrom with (more effectively, in his case, at least in the short term), and whom he attempts to “groom” by pushing challenges that the Page is clearly not prepared to face his way (Brobot’s awkward difficulty settings parallel the FLARP encounters  Vriska gave Tavros).    That Vriska and Dirk’s first on-screen kills were both decapitations is probably a coincidence. As for Equius:  There is the wife beater that Dirk sometimes wears, the similarities between horses and musclebeasts, the fact that both build robots whom they then face off against in lethal combat, the fact that both wear shades and are initially blacked out upon introduction (though this latter matter is of less significance) the fact that both have dominating personalities and a secret kinky submissive side (albeit these play out in different ways for the two), the fact that Brobot and Aradiabot both take out their “hearts” and POUND POUND POUND them up dramatically (note: though this is a bit of a stretch, the parallel makes the affinity’s intention obvious), their willingness to lie and take extreme measures (Equius considers lying and double-crossing to be in a blue blood’s nature and/or their “superior” culture; Dirk outright tells Jane that one of three statements he is making is a lie, and the only one it could possibly be is that he believes that Roxy’s decision to blow up Jane’s computer as a way to scare Jane away from playing was too extreme [meaning that, since this was a lie, he is absolutely willing to go to such extremes to get the job done--- as shown later with his willingness to decapitate himself, publicly display the fact that he’d killed Hegemonic Brute, et cetera])... and most obviously+ominously, his declaration to Jane that while she was going to remain the group’s leader as far as everyone else was concerned, he was going to be the person controlling things from the shadows (which is a reversal of Equius’ demand that Aradia be the shadow leader for the Blue Team, but obviously calls him to mind via allusion/reference). Now, while a case can be made for either of these characters not being that bad, and I am personally someone who likes and feels for Vriska quite a lot, I will be the first to admit that she is the closest thing the trolls have to Caliborn or Dirk (Gamzee doesn’t count: he’s has a mental breakdown and is basically brainwashed by LE via Lil Cal; he’s not a planner or someone who went out of his way to embrace his “turn to the dark side” of his own volition--- if you can call it that, for Caliborn; you know what I mean).   As for Equius: he was highly violent and could have been quite the menace, if it weren’t for his moirail. He had a generally demented mentality.           Neither of these are the sorts of comparisons you want to be made with a character being painted as particularly heroic and good.  Next comes the fact that, as I have discussed previously, Dirk Strider and Caliborn/Lord English have been deeply entangled with one another’s fates.   Caliborn liked Dirk the best out of all of the Alpha Kids, it was ironically Dirk who ended up defeating him in the end (in both the form of soul trapping and via ARquius). However, it was also Dirk who provided Caliborn with the mechanical leg that allowed him to escape (and presumably have confidence in the idea of escape) from his SAW Room Death Trap binding with Calliope.  Presumably, either Dirk or AR must have figured that that was the intention behind the request/present, at some point. (I rather doubt it was something that Dirk knew the implications of at the time, but I wouldn’t necessarily rule out that possibility. He might not have cared, especially since that was years before the Alpha Kids began their session, and he/they might not have had much of a bond with Calliope, at that point. Not that he ever got all that close to her, generally.)  Note:  Caliborn’s favor toward Dirk does not necessarily suggest anything inherently wrong with Dirk, but it helps set him apart from the others. This is just another warning sign suggesting something “off” about him.      Dirk’s “I have failed,” before he went wandering off into the glitches and self-destructed in the [S] Game Over. version of the Alpha similarly can be interpreted as hinting at his God Complex/Megalomaniac tendencies.      It seems a logical extension of his general personality that he wouldn’t be able to settle down and enjoy a peaceful life in a “perfect” paradise planet (which is probably one of the reasons he decided to leave it). I suppose this is just another thing that wasn’t generally thought about as the community was so focused on the actual process of getting to the victory point, and what that would mean?   At the very least, I don’t remember any such considerations.  There were certainly warning signs. The biggest factor that convinces me that Dirk’s villainy was planned quite early on (and which thus supports to some extent the idea that Jake is meant to be his eventual foil) is that Dave, after seeing his Bro’s corpse, said, “I’m not a hero, my bro was.”   This was almost certainly made at a point where Dirk Strider was conceptually developed/invented already, definitely was at a point where Dave’s baggage surrounding heroism and its connection with how he felt toward his brother was in play, and most certainly was well after the audience could have seen that Bro was abusive and sortof a dirtbag. Thus, there was already some irony, there.  However, he also called John a hero in that same statement, so it clearly was not totally derogatory, and so the irony could be increased. It was, as shown by the fact that the Alpha Kids were not “Heroes” of their session, but Nobles. This was not enough.  Dirk has eventually turned into the anti-hero and villain of his own story.   Perhaps this might be enough; however, it wouldn’t quite feel fully “right” if he hadn’t been intended to have been so from the beginning-- and perhaps that’s actually why their group were called Nobles in the first place, not only because of the fact that they couldn’t complete their session without the others, but because not all of them were heroic at heart.  [Non-sequitur: I wonder if LE would have been anywhere near as dangerous, if not for Lil Hal’s capacity to make incredibly complicated calculations {needed for Furthest Ring travel, among other things, presumably}, and his capacity as Doc Scratch to pave the way for LE’s arrival. This would seem a very similar relationship to how Dirk facilitated Caliborn’s entry via the leg, in retrospect.] ... While the section immediately above isn’t as well-developed as I’d like-- mostly because I’m tired, distracted, and it’s been at least 3 hours since I started this post in the first place, and I want to at least get the last part that I thought of in before it leaves my memory.    I may add to/edit in more for this post, or post follow-up material later, when I remember more that might have slipped my mind on this subject/I think of more. Anyway!---    as I was considering all of this, a very intriguing thought popped into my head:    While I had initially assumed that it was simply to not rehash old material and/or that it was to keep us with John for the sake of narrative consistency, since I now know that it was Dirk who was narrating this segment of the story, and thus it was a narrator with bias and interest in the facts being related, it has occurred to me that it is actually quite odd for Dirk to omit some relation of the actual facts of the Caliborn’s Masterpiece encounter.   We are placed by his hand at a place even further removed from the reality of the battle than the clearly biased and somewhat embellished account that the Cherub gave of his own rise to power.        This strikes me as odd particularly given the fact that it is Dirk’s great moment of heroism, which might serve as a sort of counter-balance to much of his otherwise morally questionable deeds.         Given his egotism (and the fact that there would seem to be no OOC reason strong enough to justify such an omission on the author’s part, since this means that there is no faithful depiction of the battle shown to us in the story), this makes it seem as if Dirk chooses to not show the conclusion of this battle for some specific and tangible reason.  I would not suspect it to be out of embarrassment, a desire to conceal his identity longer, or plain trollishness (though the last of these strikes me as almost being fitting).  Rather, I wonder if there is something worth concealing in the end of this encounter.  Maybe the Alpha Kids actually lost, and Dirk’s placement of Cal into Lil Cal was an act of capitulation. Maybe Dirk otherwise willingly and knowingly created Lord English via the soul trap at the behest of ARquiusprite, or said sprite tricked him into doing so, claiming it was the only way to defeat their opponent (which it was) and omitting the consequences.     I do not know which of these, if any, is the correct answer, but Dirk being the one to choose to omit the details does, I shall repeat, seem extremely fishy to me, all things considered. ~~~ While I will not put a summary here, I would just like to say:   In retrospect, the Meat Epilogue has done more than the requisite “adding on to the story in appreciable ways and tying up loose ends,” but has served to add depth to an already incredibly deep story and caused me to reconsider and better understand characters and themes which I had not previously delved into so deeply before.    I wonder, now, if Dirk Strider and Lord English shall prove to have been even more deeply connected than it has seemed up to this point, once I have reached the end of the Candy Epilogue and thus will be allowed to properly investigate what’s going on at the beginning of Homestuck^2. Final thought:  Hmm. So much of his imagery speaks to him being a sort of twisted version of Kamina (embodiment of masculinity, warrior spirit, noble sacrifice, heroism [not being able to live up to those last two, and lampshading to some extent his frustration at that, in Epilogue Part 7]), but it also vaguely seems to me that he at least sees himself as being like Simon--- this is to say, leading the charge for freedom against the forces of determinism and the chains of repression that would hold back humanity (and/or himself). It’s a very striking thing, especially considering the fact that it is only Simon who takes the fight to space in a fancy ship, once what seems to have been the final villain was defeated and the real threat began to loom on the horizon.  I wonder how this contrast will develop in the future, and how noble his true ideals may in fact be. ~~~ Major Edit:  

What. The heck. How did I not remember this blatant nonsense?    Fricking... darn it.

[aura-elustri-malrei]

Speculation about vowels

I’ve been thinking a lot today about potential vowel pronunciation in Aurënfaie. 

As far as I can tell, Aurënfaie is first and foremost a conlang that is intended to be read by native English speakers. If you read an Aurënfaie word aloud as you would an English one, chances are you won’t be that far off the mark. This in and of itself is not a bad thing - were it a conlang for conlanging’s sake, it might be considered a negative, but this is a fantasy novel with an English-speaking readership, and Aurënfaie absolutely fulfils its purpose of fleshing out the world and making it seem more alive, and especially of making Aurënen feel alive and more different to the more familiar Skala.

With that out the way, let’s get down to what canon gives us. More under the cut!

In terms of its writing in English, we have 17 ways of writing vowels in Aurënfaie: a, á, ä, â, e, é, ë, i, í, o, ó, ö, ô, u, ú, ü and y. This is a lot. For a comparison, English has (IIRC) around 12~14 (or maybe more?) depending on dialect, and German has about the same, and these are both considered pretty big vowel inventories. Japanese only has five, and some languages have as little as three. So my first thought was something like, “no way, are you telling me all these vowels are pronounced differently? Are the diacritics just meant to look cool?!” But I think I may have found the answer.

Big big disclaimer: I don’t know Ancient Greek well, but I do know that Lynn Flewelling has studied it, and that Aurënfaie is partially based on it.

Acute and circumflex

In some languages, like German, diacritics, or accents, indicate a sound change. Today I happened upon information about diacritics in Greek which used to be used to indicate pitch accent. This is a system where some syllables in words are emphasised by saying them in a different pitch, much like Japanese today. This would already be pretty useful, but what’s super extra useful is that two of the accents used - the acute and circumflex - are also used in Aurënfaie!

The acute accent is used in Ebrahä Rabás (Traitor’s Moon), and in Ancient Greek this is used to indicate a higher-pitch if the syllable is short or a rising pitch if the syllable is long.

The circumflex accent is used in Bôkthersa, and indicates a high and then falling pitch in the same syllable, but only appeared in long vowels and diphthongs.

Ancient Greek also uses a grave accent to indicate a low or neutral tone, but Aurënfaie doesn’t have this accent.

Originally I was toying with the idea of acute accent being another way of writing long vowels, but I really think it might be the case that Aurënfaie is a pitch accented language. This puts our vowel count to a slightly more friendly nine!

Diaeresis

The final diacritic is the diaeresis ö ä ü, or the umlaut in some languages. My experience with this accent is with German, where it indicates a sound change (such as u /u/ to ü /y/), but there is also another use. In some languages, (including Greek!) the use of the diaeresis on a vowel tells you that the vowel is not part of a diphthong, but should be pronounced as its own syllable. This is present in some words of English, such as “naïve”, or the names “Chloë” or “Zoë”.

Sorted! ...Right? Ah, well, this accent appears in Aurënfaie words which only have one vowel, like dös (”Agrai methiri dös prakra”), so it’s pretty obviously not part of a diphthong. So, what does it do? No idea. But I’ll look into other options! I don’t think it’s sound change, because then we might find vowels with the grave stacked on top of a diaeresis. For now, I’m going to assume that the accent indicates some other realisation of our main five vowels.

What about the double letters?

Ah, those. Words with consecutive iterations of the same letter in Aurënfaie include soori, the clan name Lhaar, and the place name Rhíminee. According to the Flewelling Pronunciation Guide, these are “SOOR-ee”, “lahr”, and “RIM-in-nee” respectively.

The first two are pretty easy: they’re probably long vowels. From this, we can assume that doubling a vowel makes it longer, and that this distinction might be phonemic (or, speakers of the language perceive a different in meaning depending on whether it’s long or short). However, the given pronunciation of “RIM-in-nee” (maybe /ˈɹɪm.ɪn.iː/) doesn’t work with this - “ee” would be a longer version of “e”, with this system.

This probably comes about as a result of English spelling. English underwent something called the Great Vowel Shift, where many vowels changed over a period of time, and spelling often hasn’t changed with it. The change relevant here is the one that occured in the word “meet” - as the spelling might suggest, it was originally pronounced with the vowel /eː/, but is now /iː/, which is the exact kind of pronunciation and spelling combination we see in Rhíminee.

To reconcile this, it could be the case that a similar sound change happened in Aurënfaie. My personal headcanon is that maybe the Skalan pronunciation of the city diverged, and /eː/ became /iː/, but mainland Aurënfaie kept the original pronunciation, but that’s all speculation.

And all that’s left is... y

In English, the letter “y” can be realised as both the consonant /y/, like in “yellow” and as a vowel, which can be pronounced several ways. It’s the monophthong /i/ in “happy” and the diphthong /aɪ/ in “try”. Aurënfaie might do something similar. According to the Flewelling Pronunciation Guide, chyptaulos is pronounced as “chip-TAU-los”, which would be either /t͡ʃɪpˈtau̯.lɔs/ or /t͡ʃɪpˈtoː.lɔs/ in my accent, depending on what you think “TAU” is. (This is where you start to see the benefit of providing IPA...). Either way, that makes “y” the /ɪ/ sound in “trip” or “did”. And okay, this checks out for ysanti bëk kir or yri nala molkrat vy pri nala estin. But hold up... Nyal’s name is pronounced like “nye-AL”, not “nee-AL”! I’ve only seen this used in names, though, so you could play around with the idea of it being an archaic spelling that’s only used in names, or something like that.

The results?

With the accents performing pitch duties (in the case of the acute and grave), the diaeresis maybe doing something similar, and “y” acting as more or less an alternate spelling of /i/, that brings us down to a nice phonemic five vowels (a, i, u, e, o), with maybe some more as allphones. How exactly you pronounce these vowels likely depends on your accent and where they are in the word.

Further plans

I apologise for my updates being incredibly sporadic. As much as this is a passion project of mine, my own conlang gives me a lot more power over what I can do with the language :D I’m also pretty busy lately.

The next post I do will probably be about consonants, which, thank fuck, are much less variable. However, I do have to deal with the question of “does the “h” after the “k” in “kh” change the pronunciation? And why would it?” I would also need to do one about diphthongs, as this post only covers monophthongs.

I’d also like to do a post about the different sources I use for the actual Aurënfaie corpus and pronunciation.

If anyone out there has read this far and has any comments, corrections or other opinons, please let me know! I only have one perspective, after all. This also applies if anything I have said isn’t clear - I want this to be understandble, even if you don’t know lots about linguistics.

[ablogthatishenceforthmine]

My Top 10 Favorite Boardwalk Empire Characters in Order

1. Jimmy Darmody

My baby boy... who I immediately fell in love with in the pilot. The emotional kid, who’s looking to prove himself. I always like young, emotional hotheads. And Jimmy has so many interesting things about him; his relationship to Gilian, to Nucky, to Angela, to Al, to Richard, to the war. He is such a tragic character, and has a fittingly tragic ending. He was just lost and had no idea what he was doing.  A perfect, smart, and strategic secondhand man, but didn’t have what it takes to be a boss. 

2. Arnold Rothstein

Every scene he is in is a delight. He is badass, smart, and (almost) always in control. He is both eccentric and terrifying. He is electric when he is on screen, commanding attention. He has amazing quotes, saying some of the smartest things in the whole series. Just what a joy to watch.

3. Charlie ‘Lucky’ Luciano

oh man.... what to say about Charlie. I love every iteration of him. The hot-headed, arrogant man we first meet. Who is never content, always trying to do more and be more, branching off from his bosses, constantly disobeying them. Until he gets fed up with being kicked around, and he learns to see the flaws of his father figures and the other bosses. And he learns from them; their strengths, their weaknesses, their achievements, and their mistakes. And then he becomes cold, and calculating, and highly intelligent in the 5th season. And improves on everyone who came before him, looking forward and coming up with a new way to do things. Everyone underestimated him, and as Nucky says that makes them “dumber than [they] knew” (absolutely in love with that line.) He brought people together, and tore down ideas about who were “his people.” He wasn’t about that tribalism. He was also one of the snarkiest motherfuckers ever. And I love his smart mouth and complete irreverence, especially in the earlier seasons. Also he is pretttttty easy on the eyes, and looks so god damn good in deep blue suits, and he has no right to.

4. Richard Harrow

My heart literally aches everytime he’s on screen. Somehow, even though he probably has the highest body count, he is the most sympathetic character in the show. He is so openly vulnerable, which is such a great contrast to the other characters. I just always wanted him to be happy. Also, he is one of the only (if not the only) character who does not get into the mob for money and status. He get involved because of love and friendship. He is empty and lonely and he is good at killing people so the mob is a natural fit. Even though he doesn’t really have a place there; he just had a place with Jimmy.

5. Eli Thompson

I know this is an unpopular/unusual choice, but I love Eli. He is a fascinating character. I love his inferiority complex. He resents, and is envious of Nucky, but he can’t do what Nucky does. There is a reason for his inferiority complex. Nucky is smarter and more talented than him. Eli hates being in Nucky’s shadow, but doesn’t have what it takes to leave it. Eli is not that smart or that brave. He is not really anything special. And this juxtaposition of an inferiority complex, and actually being inferior is fascinating to me. However, there are many ways, that Eli is superior to Nucky; namely, in his family. Eli is much better at personal relationships than Nucky. Until season 5, he had a good relationship with his wife and family, and never cheated on his wife, in juxtaposition to almost every other male character, until season 5 that is. And his trajectory is both tragic and inevitable. In the end, his punishment, unlike Nucky, is not death, but the loss of the one thing he ever had over Nucky: his family. 

6. Chalky White

Heartache and Sass. That is what Chalky brings. He is also a refutation to people who says “you can’t have black people in period films/ shows that aren’t service people or slaves and be realistic.” Despite it being the 20s, Chalky is in a position of power. At the same time, the show does not erase the racism of the time, and Chalky’s blackness and America’s racism are central to his character. In the pilot, after Jimmy tells Nucky that he wants to make something of himself, Nucky replies, “This is America, ain’t it... Who the fucks stopping you.” But as Chalky character shows, for many Americans, there are a lot stopping them. Chalky is not afforded the mobility that Nucky ascribes to America. He  is a gangster, but the show illustrates how his mobility and ability to rise to power is severely restricted because of his race. Thus showing, that all black people in period films/shows don’t have to either be absent or servants for the text to be realistic, and can in fact, even be in positions that popular culture don’t believe they could have ever been in. In fact, there were black gangsters during this time period. It is fascinating and enjoyable seeing Chalky try to operate in this world, taking power when he can. Whenever he has leverage (i.e. Nucky desperately needed help), he used it. And he was allowed to be morally complex like the other characters, killing people, and being driven by greed and status (and often putting himself and his own advancement over the advancement of his community).

7. Al Capone

I did not expect the Capone we got... in the best possible way. Similar to Charlie, it was amazing to see his evolution, and how he grew into the person he became. I don’t know if it’s accurate, but I love how he starts as one of the most loyal, and respectful of the right-hand men on the show. Surprisingly, his rise of power was non-violent, and he just took over when his boss retired. Then, he becomes the person that today’s public sees him as: powerful, erratic, violent, and unpredictable. Stephen Graham’s performance is just amazing: one of the best, if not, the best in the show. He perfectly plays all parts and iterations of Capone, and make them all seamlessly and coherently blend into each other. He nails the humor and fun aspects of the character, and absolutely kills the emotional moments, such as him talking to his son before going to jail in the series finale. He was always such a joy to watch, I especially enjoyed the scenes between him and Van Alden. Their dynamic was just gold.

8. Meyer Lanksy

It took me a while for my affection to grow for him. I overlooked him in the earlier seasons, but in the later seasons, and after I finished the show, and couldn’t stop thinking about it, I began to like his character more than I had. He is smart and carefully considers his moves. He is patient and great at reading a situation and discerning the role he should play in it. He, like Charlie, was underestimated by everyone around him. He can be unassuming and quiet, and that's one of the things that makes him dangerous. Meyer often feels like the one adult in a world full of kids, and that’s amazing. His friendship and partnership with Charlie is a highlight of the show. In a show filled with doublecrossing and people fucking each other over, it’s nice to have two people who can completely trust each other, and generally care for the other.

9. Billie Kent

Sweet summer child. She has the best smile and brightens up every scene she is in. Extremely charismatic and likeable. And the show never makes the mistake of making her too pure. She knows who Nucky is and doesn’t care. I wish we saw more of her. I wish she wasn’t fridged. 

10. Margaret Schroeder

She quite a while to grow on me. I especially grew fond of her in the later seasons, which unfortunately is when they started to use her wayyyy les. She is smart and witty. And even if I didn’t always like her overall storylines, she has some great moments.

[jenovahh]

想不起来 - 15

Your weapon practically glints in the low light of the room as your calloused hands, worn and torn from battle slowly show a gentleness to your weapon that most would think you incapable of.

Still, you surrender yourself to your habit; a time of peace before a big battle you know comes on the morrow. It is almost a time of bonding, of clutching your weapon that is capable of life in death in that the death of one can save the lives of thousands. At least, that’s what you hope to achieve by defeating Vauthry, ignoring the looming possibility of the light within you tearing you asunder.

“You become more and more like yourself, with each passing day.”

Slowly, you gaze up from your work, seeing him haloed in the moonlight of your open window. Shadowed in darkness, his silhouette looks every bit imposing, even with his signature slouch as the weight of his lost world sits upon his shoulders.

“More like myself?” The words on your tongue taste strange, mumbling them to yourself once again. “Was it not you who told me to not think of myself as two separate beings? To not think of myself as the past?”

You can barely see his brows furrowing in the darkness of the room, his aether brushing against yours almost harshly. You refuse the connection, staring him down until you get an answer from him. “You remain as unrepentant as ever.” you huff, turning back to polish your weapon. Before you can even put cloth to metal, it vanishes from your lap, and you slowly begin to count backwards from then. “And childish as ever.”

“Childish?” He repeats, sounding truly offended. “I liked it best when you did not have so many of your memories returned to you; you weren’t nearly as mouthy.” He tuts, watching as you slowly rise from the floor.

“I am not mouthy, I am angry that you interrupted my ritual.” You growl, moving to stand before him. Your aether buffets against one another, his resisting your anger far too easily but you won’t back down. “A ritual, that you know of too well Emet-Selch.” you speak lowly, not bothered by his frown.

“You are so serious hero, engaging in such an activity as if you might perish. Do you not have faith in your own ability?” He purrs, voice low as those golden eyes twinkle in the low light. It never ceased to amaze you how bright they sparkled even in darkest of rooms.

“I am not worried about my own ability. I don’t know what to expect from you should I fail, and that is what worries me.” You begin to turn away from him but a rough hand on your arm brings you back to him, staring into stony eyes. He is searching for something again, but you don’t know what else he could possibly look for. “Release me. Unless you plan to enlighten me on whatever plans you have in store.”

You jerk your arm to free yourself, but he only grips you tighter, nearly to the point of pain. “Does it bear repeating?” he whispers in the quiet of the room, barely audible. “Have I not already said that I would not let you go, after going so long without you?” The look he levels with you has your knees feeling weak, a distant memory teasing at that final barrier in your mind. Even still you won’t let him charm you like this, unwilling to stand down and let him seduce his way out.

“Look at you, so full of defiance, so willing to face me, despite the imbalance.” His tone has dipped back into that condescending edge, his other hand coming up to cup your chin in hand. “Such ferocity...such will.” Eyes half lidded, you feel rather than see the darkness creep along your skin, becoming suddenly aware of how little clothing you wore at night. It writhes up your legs, feeling much like a caress. “We have always been like oil and water in most ways.”

“Is that why you’ve not ceased to infuriate me, despite the state of my soul?” You growl, resisting the urge to press into him. His eyes narrow further, feelings that felt both your own yet not bubbling forth. You pay little mind to the dark magic as it slips under your clothes, caressing soft skin. “For someone so powerful, you know how to hold back.” You lean in close, lips nearly brushing his jawline. “When will you finally take me, as you did so many years ago,” 

Your sentence is stopped entirely as his hand covers your mouth, his eyes the fiercest you have ever seen him. There is a great amount of rage there, a torrent of lust buffeting against your aetherical senses as you stand strong against him. “You have not yet earned the privilege.” The words are hissed, the temperature in the room seeming to drop several degrees though that is not why goosebumps raise on your skin. “You still have not given me what I desire.” Grabbing you roughly, he brings you close against him, tendrils of magic binding your wrists together. He does not deign to divest you of your clothing himself, simply snapping his fingers once to leave you bare and wanton before him.

He gazes upon you quietly, eyes ablaze with lust, his movements still precise as silk gloved hands glide across your skin. “You think to appeal to the rash young man of your memories. So ready to exchange words and argue and fight at the drop of a hat.” His smile is fond, as if thinking of a pleasant memory. “Unfortunately for you, sundered as you are, I have had the centuries to grow from the...man I once was.”

Your breath is caught in your throat as he lowers you to the bed, unsure how you got so near it in the first place. “I have had centuries to learn control.” There’s no breaking out of the magic he has bound you in, no fighting against his form as he hovers above you. “What is it that you want?” Your breath is shallow, chest rising and falling, back arching as you try to get any sort of contact. A smirk slowly forms at his lips, a single hand trailing downwards. 

Leaning forward, he presses his lips to your chest, so deceptively gentle. You arch into his touch immediately, wanting more, but too prideful to demand it. “Shall I awake more memories of yours?” he murmurs, breath tickling the fine hairs on your skin. His tongue darts out, licking further down that has you shivering in his hold. “Memories of where our bodies would be tangled for hours upon hours on end.” You release another shiver as his breath runs over the trail his tongue had left, watching with hazy eyes as he lifts a hand to his mouth, holding your stare as his teeth gently tug the glove off his hand.

That hand now reaches for your chest, groping and teasing, brushing across a nipple but never pinching it betwixt two fingers. The other glove soon follows in a similar fashion, the hand that was hidden beneath it snaking under your back to press you closer toward him, where the arch of your back could do no more. You writhed against him as best you could, your legs trapped between his as he did nothing but touch you. As the minutes ticked by, you could sense a feeling of that reverence from before, his aether though still tense and coiled tightly against him, still out poured a wave of admiration as he tended to your body.

“Emet-Selch,”

He nips you with sharp teeth, earning him a high squeal. “My name.” He orders, hand trickling down to where your arousal lies needy and wanting between your thighs. He runs his fingers across it, your hips jerking into his touch as best as they can in this position, a broken cry of his name from your lips. “Such impatience. A drawback of your mortality.” he sighs, trailing his fingers, teasing lightly. “In the days of eld, did I worship your body for days in the same way I worship his grace...” he places a gentle kiss to your chest with a smile, distracting you as he slowly slides an oiled finger inside you. “In a way, you had tempered me then.” His laughter is light, as if you are not falling short of begging for him to touch you.

“O-Only you could make light about being tempered...” you manage to get out, words failing you as he slides another finger inside, your long moan reverberating off the stone walls. “Hades,”

“Shh. No talking.” He begins to thrust his fingers, slowly driving your pleasure higher. “You do not have days but only mere hours, before you must march to determine the fate of this star.” Taking your chin in hand, he bids you to face him, smug as if you are not willingly not walking into your potential death tomorrow. “Are you afraid hero? Of what’s to come?” He curls his fingers to hit that spot within you, making you lose your breath for just a brief second. “Are you ready to put your life on the line for these miserable failures?” He increases his pace, not breaking his stare as he pleasures you.

“T-They are not,” you can’t find your words, not under the sheer amount of ecstasy he puts your body through. “Please Hades, more,” you beg, finally giving in, whining as he slows his pace. 

“Not yet, my love.” He coos, spreading his fingers within you. “I enjoy hearing you call my name far too much.”

“You shouldn’t say such...embarrassing things!” You blurt out, tugging your hood further down over your face. Flowers burst to bloom around you, almost wildly out of control. 

“Well I must, if they cause such beautiful magic to be created.” Emet-Selch’s laugh is as clear as a bell, making you turn to face him once more. Slowly, he peels his hood back, dark hair mussed save for the one silver lock in front of his face. Reaching out he plucks a flower, lifting it to his nose as he takes a whiff. “Your happiness breeds such interesting creations. Could you blame me for flattering you so?”

Making his way near you, he slowly pulls your hood back, pushes your mask away from your face. “Would you allow me the same pleasure? Perhaps then you will understand.” His voice is the gentlest you had ever heard it, a tenderness so genuine, you murmur your name silently. “What was that?” he asks, leaning in closer.

“P-Persephone.” you grumble, watching as a grin spreads across his face. 

“Persephone.” He repeats, rolling the name around on his tongue. “Persephone. Persephone.” A grin grows on your face with each iteration, heart beating out of time as he tries to taste each syllable. Your face heats, hands coming to cover your cheeks, which surely must be steaming. 

“Persephone.” He says it with such adoration, that it nearly blows you away. Smiling, he peels your hands from your face, replacing them with his own. “Now you understand don’t you?”

“I do understand...” you breathe, releasing another frustrated moan as he denies you again.

“Understand what?” He asks, staring back into your eyes.

“That I want you to call me...Persephone.”

In that instance, there is a perfect stillness, his expression so blank, his body so still you feel as if time itself might’ve stopped. It is only as a hand moves to cradle your face, that you are you rooted in reality, feeling his aether crash against yours. “You know your name.” he whispers, pulling his fingers from you. Your bindings break, arms moving to wrap around him as his clothes melt away, his forehead resting against your own. “You know your name.” he repeats, moving to kiss you so passionately, you struggle to match him.

There is urgency to his movements now; his hands spreading your legs so that he may get between them, letting you feel his length against your thigh. “So long, so long have I waited,” he lines himself up with your opening, the head easily slipping inside that has you throwing your head back in ecstasy. As he slowly pushes inside, he shrugs your arms from around him, taking them in his hands and pinning them to the bed, eyes dancing across your body. A choked moan passes his lips, arms trembling as he slowly reigns in the control he had flaunted but a while before.

You had never felt so full, nearly at a loss for the sheer perfection of him filling you. His fingers could never do justice to what it felt like to being physically joined with him, leaving you afraid that if he did let you connect on that aetherial plane, you might truly be too overwhelmed with too much sensation that your mortal body could handle.

Slowly, he moves once he feels you’ve adjusted, your legs locking around his hips, your hips meeting his thrusts as best you could. You hear him whisper a curse in some foreign tongue, his eyes clenched tight as he lets out a long moan, finally opening his eyes to look at you. “Persephone.” He whispers, the sound of your name on his lips ringing in your ears just as they had millennia ago. His hands rove across your body, as if they cannot decide where to stay, what to touch. All you can do is moan and whimper beneath him, eyes shut tight as wave after wave of bliss assault you.

“Faster,” he cuts you off with a kiss, your tongue dancing with his as his hips go slower in what must be spite. The fire in your belly burns steadily as he pulls nearly all the way out, only to push back in to let you feel the length of him. With each plunge does your barrier crumble, allowing his aether slowly to blanket your own. The feelings of his love and his lust are slowly reflected against your own, until it feels as if you become nothing but pure feeling itself.

You can barely hear him in the fog when he speaks. “Magnificent, is it not?” It’s almost as if his voice echoes around you, as if he has pulled you into that plane where only you and he exist, but you can still feel yourself rooted in the reality that is the First. “It has been some time for myself, and how I have missed it...to be truly connected.” His face hovers above your own, looking so unbearably composed in comparison to the lust filled mess you feel like. “You are doing well, for it being your first time.” he praises, giving an unexpectedly hard thrust that has you crying out. “How long can you last I wonder?”

Magic pours across your wrists, keeping you bound so that his hands remain free to roam across your body, his mouth following suit. Soon enough he does spirit you away to that realm of his making, darkness filling all of your senses. Time feels as if it ceases to flow as he controls your pleasure, having long lost track of the orgasms he saw fit to assault you with. If this is what he had held back for so long you know already that you would’ve never gotten anything done. You would have spent those hours and those days tangled with him as he spoken of, even as the world fell apart.

The thought that his hold on you was that strong, was only mildly concerning.

He clutches you tightly, the two of you on your side, his arms wrapped around you as he slowly rocks his hips against you. You are tired, but can’t find it within you to deny him. “I can feel your exhaustion.” he presses a kiss to the back of your neck, burrowing his face there as his hips increase in speed. “We have been at it long enough.” You’re glad he’s whisked you away far from the Pendants, for the sounds of your coupling are so lewd and so loud that there would’ve been no covering up just what was going on inside your room should someone stop by for a surprise visit. His hands do not roam, just hold you snugly against him, your back to his chest as he drives his cock as deep as your body will allow.

You can barely cry out his name anymore, throat raw from saying it far too many times. You only moan weakly with each thrust, feeling his mouth open so that his teeth may scrape gently across your neck. “Persephone.” He breathes, and you feel the connection slowly warble around you, his aether wound even tighter than before. “Oh, Persephone.” The sound of your name from his lips has you coming around him, crying out pitifully as your body clenches around his length. With a few more thrusts he follows suit, more prepared to deal with the assault of his aether that would leave you drowning otherwise.

As the two of you catch your breath, you close your eyes for but a moment, opening them again to see the moon of the First outside your window. It seems like it hasn’t moved, and you wonder if time moves differently in whatever pocket of the universe he stashed you away in, or if it moved at all.

Nothing is said as cool night air brushes across the two of you, content to remain with his length inside your body, as you close your eyes for the final time that night.

And as usual, he is not there when you wake.

[yridenergyridenergy]

INFINITUM review

spoilers?

INFINITUM CD

After giving it a few listens, it does not seem as though any of the songs will particularly grow on me anymore. Therefore, I am confident in giving my opinion now. Keep in mind that I preorder those releases without knowing what they include much, so the surprise effect worked on me hah. 

guuzou moratorium : It is interesting that almost half of the lyrics are reversed in the booklet, and the “terminal conditon, terminally ill girl” Kyo had posted on Instagram recently were indeed part of this song. However, the singing is very monotonous and the music is at times engaging, but this is otherwise a mild song, like many on this album. 

waizatsu : Well, besides perhaps a couple of songs of guitar, the radio edit version is essentially the full version on this album too... 

sharara : Even though there are barely any lyrics and that the song sounds very repetitive, because it is so upbeat and has those DUM SPIRO SPERO guitar strings to it, it iso catchy. There is a “going mad” feel to it. 

kisses : Oh man. kisses. It and Tada, mada, watashi. are such an honour to listen to. Of course, it is always an honour to get a peak of someone’s feelings, but those songs are so beautiful and precious, that you need to honour them by stopping anything you are doing and dedicate everything to appreciating them. That “motto mete yasashisa ni” is so delicate every single time.

dorothy : As previously posted, what an old, pop anime song. The tone being used for the keys definitely has a traditional Japanese sound. This song is literally written from the point of view of a girl, by the way. 

anata yori ue : Another song written from a woman’s perspective, what with those mentions of “him choosing a body below the neck” (paraphrasing). This song remains dull and too noisy no matter how many times I listen to it. 

kimi wa mukidashi : Forgettable. This song never rises above the ground. The music sets everything up for it, for the most part, but nothing happens. 

honnou okotowari : This song is very ferocious and diverse enough for me. One of the segments, especially the singing, sounds extremely similar to one of the lines in Waizatsu...

koumo chigau mono nano ka, yousuruni : The demo that was released previously is totally better than this final version, in my mind. They just threw up special effects all over it, the result is way too busy, it has lost its charm... And the “Not here, not here, nowhere to be found” punches got smothered with all that extra stuff. 

nurebairo : This one has clock-like sounds and an ending excerpt of an audio tape being pulled out. Otherwise, this song is as uneventful as aftermath sound-wise...

tada, mada, watashi. : Nothing more to add, only positivity. Somehow, my Japanese has not improved a lot, so it seems that Kyo is using easier voxabulary or one that he is really using frequently, as I readily understood some of the lyrics. Same for Ranunculus. 

uso : This song is also tame and uneventful except for that chorus so full of resolution. The soft howling. Removing it from the ring finger. 

hyouhaku flavour : It really seems like they purposely made the album finish similarly to the way it began. Warped singing, plenty of audio effects, dull. 

Overall, whereas I instantly liked the totality of sukekiyo’s previous album, ADORATIO, and that I suspect that this is why INFINITUM sold out this time around, this new album contains songs that I would definitely skip. I typically listen to music as albums, in my car’s CD player, so an album’s composition needs to be great in majority. This is not one such release. There were some sounds that were really repetitive from older sukekiyo, nothing too major or new like ADORATIO could boast of. 

collaboration CD

(Honestly all previous ones have disappointed me, so I have not bothered listening to it yet. I am glad that Kyo is happy and scores those collaborations, which probably help with the band’s visibility, but to me they always highlight how nobody reaches Kyo’s level and it is more humiliating to them than anything else, in my mind. You can count on me to update you if it turns out differently.)

Blu-Ray

Somehow I knew that the two PVs were included, but not that there were also two alternate versions hahah. And then, there is over one hour from one of the live shows. 

For the two promotional videos, I think that Tada, mada, watashi. is the one for which we were missing the most at the end. 

After that, the Waizatsu alternate PV consists of only the scenes showing the sukekiyo members, and although it seems ridiculous, I began loving that they blatantly reused the same scene for all “Creepshow trauma” iterations hahah. It is what it is. The lyrics are featured in English in a big Arial font, usually at the very centre of the image. The video is much more a play with visual effects and even effects with the text. 

The alternate version for Tada, mada, watashi was very unexpected, and so damn touching. Holy, it gives a whole other meaning to the song. Essentially, it mainly uses live footage from one show they played that song at, but also behind-the-scenes of video clips, other lives with Kyo’s different looks, almost in black and white, You see all those focuses on each member too. It really looks like: “Here’s my family. You mean so much to me. We’ve come this far.” Heart-wrenching. 

I have not had time to watch all of the live footage from one of the recent tours yet. It is less exciting than PASSIO, but still very enjoyable. From what I gather, they included mainly the tracklist from ADORATIO.  

After the footage from a live show, the rehearsal videos are taken from varying perspectives around the studio. Conveniently, Kyo’s entire head is hidden behind a guitar held in the air throughout one of their breaks where they seemed to make a lot of jokes. You barely see Kyo even in the segment on vocal recording. 

This is followed by footage of the photoshoot. 

[justgotham]

Telling a Gotham fan to get ready for weird surprises is like telling Jim Gordon that it's going to be a long day. The information was plainly obvious from the start. So it should come as no real shock that Gotham is shaking things up a bit when the iconic villain Bane is introduced during the final nine-episode stretch. Speaking with CinemaBlend ahead of Episode 3, Gotham showrunner John Stephens is excited for audiences to expect the unexpected with Bane.

That was super-exciting, because we got to tell another origin story, you know? And a very different origin story than in the books, and in the Nolan movie. We do our version of [Bane's story], which for better or for worse is a very, very different version.

It cannot be denied that Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises changed the game when it comes to how Bane is viewed and portrayed within pop culture. Tom Hardy's performance, which was at once both contained and unbridled, coupled with his distorted voice to make his iteration the key version for many fans. But it's not like it was the most faithful take on the comics' use of Bane, so expect nothing different from Gotham.

In fact, Gotham almost has the disadvantage here, since Shane West will be offering up the second extended take on Bane in live-action, making heightened comparisons inevitable. (Batman & Robin's version doesn't count here, for all the obvious reasons.) Coming less than seven years after Tom Hardy's portrayal, and with an actor whose previous genre projects have been extremely hit or miss, Gotham's Bane surely needs some dramatic change-ups to stand apart.

Showrunner John Stephens gave me a better idea of what to expect from Gotham's Bane beyond just the notion that he'd be an intentionally altered take on the character.

I feel like it plays both very scary and it plays very 'boots on the ground,' which is really cool. I think it totally fits into the world. I hope fans like it. I think we'll see. I think Shane does a really great job when he comes into it as well.

What little we know about Shane West's Bane already runs counter to what anyone would have expected even six months ago. At the time when Bane-related rumors started floating, it was revealed that Gotham would bring in Eduardo Dorrance. That info had many thinking a live-action take on Bane's comic book father Edmund Dorrance was coming. (After all, Bane doesn't have an official alter ego.) However, Eduardo IS Bane, and that's obviously not the only change.

Though much of Eduardo's transition to supervillain is still under wraps, we know that the character's backstory will match up with Jim's. It was reported that the two will actually be old buddies from their Army days. But while Jim shifted over to police work, Eduardo seemingly stayed part of the military-industrial complex, which is what brings him to Gotham City in its most desperate "No Man's Land" times. Sounds somewhat similar to how The Punisher revamped Billy Russo for Netflix.

However close the two men were before, it'll clearly have little effect on what goes on in Season 5. Jim won't be able to stop Eduardo from taking on his more dastardly identity, and that doesn't bode well for a city that has been all but ignored by the government. Wait a minute, what if Bane is working for the government in order to destroy Gotham? Or...what if Eduardo is actually just Jeremiah in an extremely well-crafted mask? I'd buy it.

The way Gotham's John Stephens put it, the show was able to officially bring Bane to fans because the producers were given a little more creative leeway from DC to bring in various as-yet-unseen Batman characters and references. He's what he had to say about the restrictions laid upon the writing staff in Season 5.

There were very few. [DC was] really very, very open to us, saying, 'You know what? If you want to do that, go for it.' So, they were great.

As some fans may be aware, the deeper Gotham goes into Season 5, the more madcap and bonkers it'll get, with the series finale taking place years in the future, after Bruce's vigilantism as Batman has become more widely recognized within Gotham City. (And after Cameron Monaghan takes on some kind of a third role.) It seems likely that Bane will cause quite a bit of destruction before we get there, though.

This is such a huge year for Gotham, considering its chances of getting a fifth season weren't the strongest during 2018. The fans clamored for more, and Fox made the proper decision to bring these characters back for one more dark and sinister round. I'd asked John Stephen how he and the others felt about putting together the last dozen episodes of the pre-caped crusader drama and here's what he told me:

Like a lot these things, it's a double-edged sword. Because on the one hand, we're really excited, because anything we've been holding on the shelf, we could pull out and put out there. We didn't have to save anything, we could really leave it all on the street, as they say. On the other hand, there's that bittersweet element of knowing that this was the end, that we weren't gonna get to tell any more stories when we finished this season. So, it was definitely that mixed bag [where there's] a lot of excitement going into it, but the closer we got to the end, the more the realization was that this one actually was the end.

Get ready for Gotham to pull out all the stops going forward as it brings Jeremiah back into the fold alongside his Harley-esque sidekick Ecco.

It looks like we won't have long to wait at all before meeting up with Shane West's Eduardo Dorrance in Season 5, even if he may not make the full transition to Bane in his first episode. Here's hoping it doesn't take long for the iconic character to flip the villainous switch, though.

[nikitasbt]

Human, Space, Time and Human (인간, 공간, 시간 그리고 인간, 2018) by Kim Ki-duk

Human, Space, Time and Human by Kim Ki-duk is an ominous and bleak Homo homini lupus est sentence to the humanity, a kind of condemnation the films of Bela Tarr or Alexey German’s Hard to be a God have been proclaiming.

The human existence can be comprehended following the rise of depravity and exploration of the moral decay of the individuals resulting in the conclusion the humans are the world’s parasites and pests. The only hope for the bright future is in the shoots the plants put out as an allegory to the potentially innocent lives of the newborn. However, when the time of harvest comes over the new generations appear being unable to overcome the cruel human nature and people find themselves getting pleasure in suppressing and slaughtering the nature and eventually their own kind.

A disturbing and distressing Korean film of Kim Ki-duk is a misanthropic allegory of the human’s entity depicting the decline of humankind, extreme misogyny, cruelty, and inevitable supremacy of instincts and violence over the bright qualities and features the humans have been struggling to develop within the centuries.

The latest film of Kim Ki-duk contains many references to his previous works and even iterations. The film’s title resembles one of the most acclaimed works of Korean arthouse master Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring (2003). The structure and plot development are also similar – the film is divided into several parts putting a loop in the end. While this plot loop in 2003 masterpiece was just saying the humans are meant to commit the same mistakes and experience love, hatred,  and failures, the message of Human, Space, Time and Human is very bleak and misanthropic. The society has always been decaying, and individuals cannot find their way through. After immersing into space and time dominated by Homo Sapiens, every newborn baby would become human whose life is full of sins, intolerance, and cruelty. Another obvious link to previous works of Kim Ki-duk is in the space where the film is set: just like Hwal (The Bowman) the whole story takes place on the ship, and we see no other locations but the ship where the characters are trapped. The whole world of protagonists is squeezed into this limited space with no laws and rules the society stands upon. Though, again the idea of this film differs from what the viewers had seen in Hwal. Human, Space, Time and Human surprisingly simplifies the cinematic language of Kim Ki-duk. Though the whole film is an allegory and contains a number of allusions just like Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring, everything here is pretty much straightforward. Kim Ki-duk’s best arthouse features are intellectual and can be hard to comprehend due to ambiguous themes and demanding conventions the director comes up with. In this film, the idea is on the surface, and the viewers collide with clichéd characters. It is obvious where the villains are and who is here to oppose them. Though, it ends up with everybody being some sort of villain. The film’s Bible references are also quite transparent, though well-placed not far-fetched. Simplification of the cinematic system of Kim Ki-duk makes him more available to the audience, yet the film is something that would alienate many viewers due to disturbing violence and naturalism.

The first part of the film entitled Human portrays the group of travelers on an old warship embarking for 7-days cruise (this 7-days-story is the first Bible reference). The narration doesn’t explain why these different people travel on the same ship and where they are heading. It is also not explained why the so-called cruiser is packed with sex workers and all sorts of perverts. Perhaps, that’s the way the narration intends to depict society. This first part illustrates the class difference, conflicts between bandits and seemingly decent people, and abusing of power the senator (Lee Sung-jae) possesses on this ship. With the protection of a group of hired villains, he sets himself and his son in a privileged position which irritates the other passengers. Upon raising their voice seeking some equality in rights on the cruiser, passengers collide with the extreme violence of gangsters having no fear or shame in the actions with approval of their patron. Apparently, this leads to no good.

In no time, the ship becomes a scene of disturbing cruelty. The main female character whose name is never mentioned (portrayed by Mina Fujii) is raped by almost every significant male character including senator. His son is shown as a kind of positive character initially who was not fond of the privileges he is meant to enjoy. However, when he finds an unconscious woman in his cabin after his father leaves he rapes her too without any sympathy or sentiments. Meanwhile, the girl’s boyfriend is stubbed and killed and the other woman is also raped by another gang. There is nobody standing by the side of women, and we see the hidden misogyny going beyond control in every man. Also, there are several sex workers on the ship who sell themselves and close their eyes as they are treated as junk. Even those men who could be possibly against it find themselves being unable to cope with the sexual lust and hidden predilection for abuse of the women. The message of this part is that the men have never been able to suppress their beastly instincts towards women, and this will never change. Being put into the situation where the women are abused, the men choose to be a part of it despite showing some intentions to oppose it. Those who actually oppose it, get killed. These rape scenes are really heavy, disturbing and hard to watch. I can understand people who have stopped watching Human, Space, Time and Human at this point. However, the film would later become even nastier. An isolated group of people now sinks in drug abuse, gang rapes, assaults, cruelty, and unfair treatment of each other from the position of power. The main female protagonist is shown as the martyr, a kind of innocent Madonna. Meanwhile, this rise of depravity is being observed by a mute mysterious old man who resembles a character of an old Buddhist monk from Kim Ki-duk’s masterpiece Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring. This is probably the only character in the film who has no intentions to rape anybody (not counting on a character played by Joe Odegiri who is killed at the beginning of the film after his girlfriend’s rape). The old man does nothing, but scrabbles dirt and remains of food collecting it in cups, and it seems like he has something in his mind on what’s going on around him.

The second part entitled Space begins next morning when the passengers and crew realize the ship is now floating high in the sky, and they can see no terrain or sea. Kim Ki-duk never explains what happened as everything from now has to be taken as an allegory to human existence and history. As the ship runs out provision, all the humans show their real face trying to find the way to survive. Nobody knows what’s happening, and those who have guns and grenades are reigning. Slowly people get an idea all of them would die of starvation on this ship. The senator who is in control of all provision is the first realizing it, and he decides to maintain his high status as death approaches. First, he orders to distribute less food to the other passengers, then he stops feeding them at all, repels the attempts of uprising and eventually kills almost everybody with his own hands.

The people in extreme situation turn into the beasts very fast, and there are no positive characters in this setup. It is not something original in the film of Kim Ki-duk, but he has his own view on this survival. Those who possess power retain an excessive use of it, while the others are not able to rise up and left to fight with each other. The female protagonists takes side from the events befriending the mute old man who plants the vegetables and fruits in the underdeck bunker. He even has a few chickens there are yet to start laying the eggs. The woman thinks this is madness as it will take months to get the yield, though the old man keeps looking after his shoots of plants. At the same time, people start killing each other, and their corrupted morality turns them more and more violent. The senator’s son wonders if there is a point of attempts to survive in such conditions. An old man acting as the personification of God explains it with his actions to the girl: the point is to maintain the new life which is being conceived. The symbol of this life is in the shoots he looks after. But soon the girl realizes she gets pregnant after being raped. The old man doesn’t let her do any harm to the child, and she understands this baby is the only reason to survive as it brings the new life which is still innocent while being in the woman’s womb. An old man convinces this baby is a result of divine intervention. At some point, the senator’s son tries to express his sympathy to this girl he raped and feels sorry for what she’s been through. He even tries to oppose his own father and gangsters, but he cannot do much. Later, the senator is killed, and the gang leader for some time becomes the only power on the ship. The girl saves a senator’s son life in a fray with a gang leader taking his promise to take care of her and child. But as he becomes mad of starvation he forgets about any decency ending up raping a pregnant woman again and eating a piece of her flesh. The third chapter Time is probably the most disturbing and disgusting as the survivors fall into cannibalism. Moreover, the old man also takes his part dismembering the corpses preserving the flesh and grinding their bones to use it for planting more shoots. He starts planting the shoots on the bodies of those who had fell victims of this madness. Though these heavy scenes are present here in abundance, at some point I ceased concentrating on this naturalism just taking it as allegory. Homo homini lupus est. People live feasting on other’s flesh, and they don’t do it literally because of law and legal instruments restraining them. When the people’s hands are not tied with any laws and they have to survive they end up like the passengers of the ship. This is the misanthropic message of Human, Space, Time and Human which is probably one of Kim Ki-duk’s conclusions on the nature of the human entity.

There is no God – says the senator at some point despite finding himself drifting in the air on the warship. At the end of the third chapter, an old man who acts like God disappears living the bloody footprints forming a sign of infinity on the deck. He also leaves some flesh, and two last survivors would have to decide who is going to keep living. Eventually, a woman kills the senator’s son to save a chicken he intended to eat. The martyr remains the last living, and she still carries the baby in her womb representing the continuation of life and acting as a symbol of hope. Soon we see the first old man’s vegetables and fruits growing out, and chickens laying eggs.

The last chapter of the film is again entitled Human. It’s time for a loop to close. At first, we see a child and his mother who are the last survivors on the ship and maybe in the whole world. The ship now resembles Eden as it is covered with plants, trees, and gardens growing up from the bones of those who passed away years ago. The little boy is growing up, and he is the symbol of new life. As there are only two people living, I anticipated the story is going to end up with something disturbing it came from. And in the last scene, we see an adult who had found a pistol and started developing violence. He is groping for discovering his real hidden nature and this is not an innocent child anymore. He would be a grown-up man soon who is meant to repeat the fate of other humans. The boundless violence and lust to abuse and suppress lives within him. The film closes with the boy chasing his mother in an attempt to rape her, as the other “humans” on the ship used to do. Then suddenly Kim Ki-duk gives a film Tarkovsky’s Solaris-like ending showing the ship floating from above in the endless space. The divine intervention results in the birth of another corrupt human and the film’s conclusion is a sentence to the humankind. Humans cannot overcome their cruel and abusive nature, they can only hide it for some time. Whenever they get a chance, they would show off their face, sins, and lusts. The idea of Kin Ki-duk’s film is certainly not something new, but it marks a milestone of his career. An author of many provocative features ends up making one of his bleakest film with a transparent verdict on the nature of humanity. Human, Space, Time and Human leaves humans with no hope for change.

The last film of Kim Ki-duk is extremely violent yet it is pretty much into life, from my point of view. The photography is quite delightful making it visually entertaining, not speaking of an abundance of ugly and heavily disturbing scenes of people killing, eviscerating, raping, and eating each other. Though, probably there is no way to get rid of these scenes in such film. The symbolism and multiple religious references which are easy to read appear to be an interesting addition to this carousel of insane violence and depravity. The performances of Lee Sung-jae as senator and Ahn Sung-ki as old man are great, but the real star of Human, Space, Time and Human is Mina Fujii portraying the lead female character whose name is never mentioned. Despite a very dark message and many disturbing and disgusting scenes, Human, Space, Time and Human had become the most remarkable Kim Ki-Duk’s film during the last few years.

This is probably not a film one would recommend to anybody to watch. Kim Ki-duk’s reputation becomes more and more controversial, especially with the recent allegations of sexual harassment against him. It is hard to imagine how the Korean director comes up with such a bizarre material so consistently throughout his career. There were the exceptions such as fantastic 3-iron, Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring and even recent 2016 film The Net. However, this time Kim Ki-duk is back to disturbing content which is thought-provoking but very difficult to digest. It is disgusting, but realistic at the same time, and somehow the film might have an enthralling effect. However, I doubt this is something the audience should be looking for in the cinema.