#does this count as an autism diagnosis

[murderpastaa]

fuck I can't believe I let dndads take the ownership of part of my brain from tma. I HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP TO TMAGP FOR LIKE OVER A MONTH HELPPP . I MISS ALICE BUT I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT SEXY SEXY RON GODAMN STAMPLER WITH HIS STUPID FUCKING PANTS.

[edenicandendless]

"last" letter

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[sleepyzcrowz]

10 people 😓

Rody Lamoree-Dead Plate

2. Connor RK800-Detroit Become Human

3. Jackson Jeykll-Monster High

4. Gizmo-Sally Face

5. Stu Macher-Scream

6. Shaggy Rogers-Scooby Doo

7. Rainbowdash-MLP

8. Dipper Pines-Gravity Falls

9. Jason Voorhees-Friday The 13th

10. Micheal Myers-Halloween

i don’t follow enough ppl to tag 10 😭

TAG GAME— list 10 of your favorite characters from different fandoms and tag 10 people

(Not in any particular order)

1. Sean Macguire - Red Dead 2

2. Ennis Del Mar - Brokeback Mountain

3. Marty McFly - Back to the Future

4. Abel Gideon - NBC Hannibal

5. Basil Hallward - Picture of Dorian Gray

6. Nick Carraway - The Great Gatsby

7. Edward Wong - Cowboy Bebop

8. Stanford Pines - Gravity Falls

9. Miles Morales - Into the Spiderverse

10. Karl Heisenberg - Resident Evil 8

Thanks for the tag @naughtydogg!! :0

Tagging: @space-twelve @myhillsdonthaveeyesbbg @rapidlydecayingcorpse @synthsays @zzz0mmbiee @thereareeyesinsidethetrees @sawzzie @sleepyzcrowz @nyctxnthus @transpotato5 and anyone else who wants to do this!

[natashaslesbian]

We Saved Each Other (Part Eight)

Summary: you undergo an assessment for a learning disability and your mom helps you come to terms with the result

Word Count: 1.8k

Pairings: (Mom!Natasha x Kid!Reader) (Clint x Kid!Reader)

Warnings/content: Autism assessment/diagnosis (written from my personal experiences and research)

————

Today, a S.H.I.E.L.D professional is making their final assessment in wether or not you have a learning disability. Melissa had been following you for a few days now, watching your behaviour and assessing your ‘personality’. You were still a little confused as to why she was with you, Natasha had tried to explain but your little brain just couldn’t quite understand. Melissa had told you that it was important you just remained yourself and acted however you usually would, but you were a trained spy, you’d been taught to lie and manipulate, your little brain definitely knew that much. You had your guard up when you first met her but Natasha stayed with you the whole time and soon enough you were somewhat comfortable with Melissa. So far, Melissa had assessed you while playing with your toys and outside, she’d observed your interaction with the team and the Barton children and yesterday she had a meeting with Natasha to discuss your circumstances, something your mom found incredibly difficult. Usually an assessor would use any available documents to aid their diagnosis however there wasn’t much documentation on you. All you had were adoption papers and a birth certificate provided by Fury.

Today you were due to have a test with Melissa, and you were not happy about it all. “Sweetie I promise it’s nothing scary, it’s just to help you like we talked about remember?” Natasha said as she cradled you in her arms. You had hardly slept last night and now you were overtired and overstimulated “don’t wanna” you fussed “baby I know but this is so important, it means that mommy can take care of you properly and help you when you’re feeling different things, things that other people don’t feel” Nat cooed. “No!” You whined “it’s all gonna be okay y/n I promise” Natasha said “I just wanna be normal mommy” you cried. “Oh my sweet girl just because your brain works differently doesn’t mean you’re not normal, truth be told baby there is no such thing as normal” Natasha cooed “but why does my brain work different mommy?” You asked through your tears. “Y/n sometimes there aren’t any answers” Nat said softly “things just happen in our life’s and we can’t always explain why. I know this is scary but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, if you do have a learning disorder that doesn’t make you any less amazing, I promise” she said as she gently brushed her fingers through your hair. “So do you think you can be a brave girl and see Melissa for your test?” Your mom asked. You wiped away your fallen tears as you sat up to look at Natasha “yes mommy, I think so” you whimpered.

You met with Melissa at the agreed time, Natasha glued by your side. Your mom knew you would have to go in alone with Melissa but she wanted you to know that you were safe. “Shall we get started y/n?” Melissa asked, you shook your head and hurried your face into Natasha’s hip. “Come on sweetie you can do it” your mom said as she crouched down to be eye level with you “you remember what we talked about? I know you’re nervous but I promise it’s all gonna be ok” Natasha cooed, urging you to follow Melissa through the open door. “M’kay” you muffled as you sceptically stepped towards the room. “Why don’t we get a snack first y/n?” Melissa asked, trying to calm your nerves “I’ve got some fruit roll ups, you like those don’t you?” She said. “Yes please” you said, taking a seat at the small table. Natasha took a deep breath when the door was closed, she wanted nothing more than to hold your hand through this but she knew you had to be assessed without her in order to get a correct diagnosis. Your mom had agreed with Melissa that she would be able to monitor you over the security footage, given your past Melissa understood why Natasha was scared to let you out of her side. The redhead had informed the assessor of your upbringing and as a S.H.I.E.L.D member she was permitted to have limited knowledge of the red room.

Natasha had asked Pepper to cook your favourite meal while she watched the security cameras, wanting you to have a comfort meal after your stressful day. You seemed reserved in yourself in the meeting but answered all of Melissa’s as best you could. She was great at distracting you and keeping you entertained as to not overwhelm you. The hour went by smoothly as Natasha was waiting with open arms when you came out of the room “hey baby girl, oh I’m so proud of you” she said as she scooped you up onto her hip. “She did so well Natasha” Melissa smiled “I’ll go over all the information I’ve collected today and I should have a confirmed diagnosis for you in a few days” she said. “Thank you Melissa” Natasha said. You waved goodbye to the assessor and cuddled closely into your mom “my brave little spider” she cooed “do you wanna have some dinner, Pepper’s made your favourite” Nat said. “Waffle fries?” You quietly asked “waffle fries indeed baby” your mom said as she headed towards the kitchen.

~~~~~

Natasha waited patiently over the next few days, checking her phone every few minutes in hopes of the call. She hid her anxiety from you through the sleepless nights that you had failed to settle. You had been much more secluded since your test, only wanting to be with your mommy. It took a couple of days to bring our your bubbly personality again and even then Natasha knew that you weren’t quite yourself. You were currently playing with your cousins in the common room, the Barton’s had come for a visit after Lila demanded she needed to see you and her auntie Nat. You and your mom had been staying at S.H.I.E.L.D HQ while you waited for your assessment results.

“Natasha?” Maria called around the door, entering the room “Melissa’s here” she said. Nat felt the anxiety rise in her chest as she rose to her feet “Clint could you watch y/n for me?” She asked “of course” he said. “Sweetie I’ll be back in a few minutes okay” Natasha said to you “ok mommy” you replied unfazed and happily continuing your drawing. Your mom met Melissa in a private meeting room to discuss your assessment. “Uncle Clint” you said as you climbed into his lap “yes little bug?” he asked. “Is Melissa here to talk with mommy about me?” You innocently asked. “Well yes she is” Clint explained “but not in a bad way, she’s here to help you remember? Are you nervous?” Your uncle asked, you nodded shyly as you leaned into Clint. “That’s okay bug” Clint cooed holding you tightly.

You stayed cuddled with Clint until Natasha came back into the room “hey sweetie, do you wanna go and get some strawberry juice?” She asked as she scooped you up into her arms. “Yes please” you politely said. Nat carried you through the hallway towards the kitchen where she prepared your strawberry juice in your specific strawberry juice bottle. It was imperative that your drinks and snacks where placed in the corrected cups and bowls, otherwise you would never eat or drink it. “Thank you mama” you said before taking a sip of your juice “you’re welcome baby” Natasha said “listen y/n, mommy needs to talk to you about your assessment okay? Do you think we could go and sit and talk?” Your mom asked. “Did I do bad in the test mommy?” You frowned “no baby girl of course not it’s just Melissa came to give me the results today so I wanted to tell you about it” Natasha cooed as she gently brushed your hair away from your face. “M’kay” you mumbled behind your juice bottle.

“Alright detka” Natasha said as she sat down on the bed with you “so do you understand why Melissa came to see us?” She asked. “I think so” you said “well she came to see if you might have a learning disability, which means that sometimes things can feel different for you. You remember when we talked about it?” Nat said, you nodded intensely remembering the conversation with your mom. “So Melissa found out that you have something called autism” Natasha said, cutting to the chase “it’s a type of learning disorder that means people can struggle to communicate and learn the same way as other people” your mom explained as best she could to your small brain “you know how sometimes you get upset at loud noises and bright lights?” She asked, you nodded along “well that’s because you’re autistic” Nat said. “Is that bad mommy? Do I need to be fixed?” You sadly asked.

Natasha’s heart broke, years of your father and then Dreykov’s words had convinced your small brain that you were a problem that needed to fixed. “No baby it’s not a bad thing at all” your mom said as she softly ran her fingers along the bridge of your nose. “There is nothing wrong with you y/n, you don’t need to be fixed because you are perfect just as you are. Having autism doesn’t make you any less perfect but it does mean that somethings might be a little more difficult. But y/n I promise you it’ll be okay, we’ll figure out what you need and mommy will be here for you always” Natasha said. “What will help me mama?” You asked “well we can get you some special toys to keep you calm when you feel nervous or anxious and we can make you a little safe space at home with no noises and keep it nice and dark. Everyone who has autism will struggle with different things so we’ll have to find out along the way what you need” Nat explained.

You looked up at the redhead, admiring her bright green eyes “are you still gonna be my mommy? Even though I have autism” you mumbled sadly. “Oh baby of course!” Natasha beamed as she picked you up and placed you in her lap “I’m always gonna be your mommy, no matter what, I love you so much y/n” she cooed “I love you too mama” you smiled. Natasha tightened her grip around your small frame and you tucked your face into her neck. You were still a bit unsure about what was going on but you knew that no matter what Natasha was going to be there. The road ahead was a long one and there were so many unknown things approaching but now you had an entire family behind you. Clint, Laura, Maria, Lila, Cooper and of course your mommy. There was a time you had no one and nothing but now you had everything you had ever dreamed of. Autism or no autism, you were going to be okay.

————

Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @a-simpfortessa-lesbriean / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hey! before I begin, I wanted to say how much I love your comics!! the style and palettes are really soothing, and it's always nice to read them, relate heavily, and not feel quite such an oddball!! so thanks :]

I (very recently) received the results of my diagnosis for autism and adhd (I got both, and a couple other smaller things) and was wondering what things you did differently immediately after diagnosis that helped you? I've tried things like proper organisation and cleaning, keeping on top of deadlines for college as much as I am able, and trying to study as much as I can (a levels are very stressful even though I've only just started the course, and while these solutions are what's considered "good" by the college, its not really helping me as much as I would like)

a large part of the diagnosis was dedicated to brain function (I had the privelidge of being assessed privately, so the evidence was very detailed and thorough), and I scored stupidly high on vocabulary and language study. However, I feel like there's somewhat of a disconnect between the effort I've put in on my foreign language studies and the progress I'm seeing- I'm trying so so hard to understand grammatical concepts and absorb a lot of vocabulary in preparation for some smaller tests in the near future, but I'm not seeing the reward during lessons or even with preparation. I am fully aware that with all the work and effort I'm spending, I am closer than I would like to be to a meltdown and probably burnout, which I desperately want to avoid. It just feels that although my brain is wired for linguistic study, I feel like I'm falling behind or failing

I guess if you have any advice or anything that helped you once your diagnosis was confirmed, or tips for study, I would be greatly appreciative :]

Tldr: struggling with study and fearful of failure, any advice?

hnng I remember the stress of A levels, you couldn't pay me to go through that again 🫠

After being diagnosed I started to allow myself to unmask and stim in more obvious ways. Previously my stims had generally been pretty small, like flicking my fingers or wiggling a bit, but now I allow myself to flap and rock and play with fidget toys as well and it genuinely does help release tension.

It sounds like your're working really hard - if you feel close to burnout and/or meltdowns, you might be working too hard. I also found it really hard to take breaks when I was studying (...still do) but the truth is, by not allowing your mind to rest, you're actually making it harder for yourself to learn and retain information.

So my advice is, take a break! A real break, not 'I'm gonna scroll on my phone for a bit' or 'I went to the toilet that counts as a break right'. Get up, step away from your work for at least an hour, and do something you find relaxing and fun. Go for a walk or just sit outside. Make yourself a drink. Take a nap if you need to. Try to avoid looking at screens during your break if you can. And when you go back to studying, schedule times to have regular short breaks as well (eg a 10 minute break every hour). I set alarms for mine because otherwise I forget to move for five hours.

A break allows your brain to process the information and let it settle properly. When you go back to work you'll hopefully feel more refreshed and able to take in information again. Remember, if you've just started the course, then this is a marathon, not a sprint, so please try not to overdo it and burn yourself out right at the start. Conserve your energy for the long haul.

If you're still struggling, are you able to ask for help, maybe from a friend or a teacher? A teacher could give you some techniques on how to improve in the specific areas you find difficult, and sometimes just talking through the bit you're having trouble with or not understanding can help a lot.

Good luck with your studies and I hope you take some time to rest as well :)

[nthspecialll]

Cracks open an oyster shell to reveal a slimy half baked fetus esque Dutch van def linde inside

Do you think this sick little freak of nature is neurodivergent… or has any other disorders.. npd… bpd… etc… (no pressure to like. Actually diagnose or anything I’m assuming you aren’t a licensed psychologist, more for character analysis. Thank you so much, love your work!)

Oh he definately has something but yes I am not a psychologist and my experience with ND is limited to autism, ADHD, OCD and dyslexia because those are my family heirlooms, thus I would not feel comfortable diagnosing him but what I can do is present what fits and what does not fit about the most common diagnosises that people put on him as well as pointing out things others with more experience with these diagnosises says.

NPD- Narcissism

Dutch believes himself to be superior to others, which is very visible in many different ways, like his tent being the most luxurious to not allowing Molly, his girl to work. Which is also a big part of his entitlement, he expects others to look up to him, he expects people to treat him well, to cater his every need, and he gets angry when people doesn't.

He lives on admiration, which can be why he leans so heavily over to Micah late game when everyone else pulls their attention away from him, causing him to get angry. This time he is also very unable to handle any critisism thrown his way, reacting aggressively to it rather than listening.

One of the most obvious signs that makes people think narcissism is his willingness to exploit other, from the gang memebers to the native americans, using everything to his own advandage. He even says it himself, he is helping the natives because it helps him.

He created that friendship with Eagle Flies beacuse it boosted his confidence and his image, he lived in Micah's friendship because it fed his confidence and his image.

Narcissists tend to lack empathy and he does state in a camp event with Susan and Arthur "did you hear that Arthur? I am meant to consider feelings now!" and he is also quite arrogant, talking down to Arthur when he tries to come up with a plan in chapter 6.

Now, that said, narcissists cannot form meaning bonds which Dutch has done several times, for example with Hosea and with The Count. They are actually known for being terrible animal owners and are known for being able to fake friendships for a short amount of time while using others, not for thirty years.

Narcissits are also prone to bragging, which we do not hear Dutch nor does he belittle other people's achievements, and while he can seem like he doesn't show feelings and empathy, he does. He is genuiently sorry when Arthur gets kidnapped by O'Driscolls, he is sad when Hosea dies, he listens to John when Jack is kidnapped.

I also would not say he is fishing for compliments, which they are known for, there are also requirements for narcisissm which we don't have enough information on, such as fragile ego and requent self-doubt.

Bipolar

Dutch in the beginning of rdr2 is a very regular dude, he has signs but he seems okay, but as time goes on, especially in chapter 4-6 we see him go up into something that can look like mania.

He does not sleep, he can work without rest. He is easily irritated, his self-esteem is through the roog and he is impulsive. He constantly obesses, he leans over to people who feeds his ego, he is paranoid and he has a lot of grandiosity.

In the first couple of chapters it does also seem like we have some episodes. After settling in Horseshoe Dutch says sorry to Hosea about Blackwater, that he made a fool of himself and doesn't know what happened, similarly with after Arthurs kidnapping.

But then we come to chapter 5-6. What does not fit here however is the fact we don't see a crash, mania cannot go on forever and yet through the months of chap 5-6 there is no crash, he does not return to his regular state. We also see the same things in rdr1, again, no crash and it has been years.

"That said, I've yet to see his crash. The mania, which separates bipolar from major depression, can't just go on forever." which was wisely said by a player diagnosed with bipolar.

Borderline personality disorder

Dutch has a very strong fear of being abanonded, he does not like others leaving him, thus he is willing to leave them first, such as leaving John in jail before allowing him to get out and leave him.

He has a lot of paranoia and looses touch with reality, such as the situation in which he is standing, but also randomly yelling out or talking to himself in chapter 6, similarly he is prone to impulsiveness, doing things that aren't exactly thought through which ends people being harmed.

While he doesn't make threats of self-harm, he did die by suicide, though I would say it was more a powerplay than a fear of abandonment.

He is quickly angered, especially in the later chapters and acts out violently throughout the story

Now we have some other "critiria" like wide moodwings and "Quick changes in how you see yourself," I saw a redditor say this: "Although Dutch sees himself as an anarchistic Robin Hood-type hero during RDR2, he's clearly conflicted by RDR1, presenting himself as both a freedom fighter and a savage who can't fight his own violent nature." And while that is true, it does not fit the critira. It is not a quick change going back and forth but rather a steady but stable decline to that. A lot of people forget that it isn't just a change, but a back and forth we need for this diagnosis, and to me it is more that he is, as said, steadily moving, when he has reached one level of "madness" he doesn't go back.

Then we have a few critera I don't think fits, like unstable relationships, he has a lot of longer, fairly stable relationships such as with Hosea and Arthur and John, those were stable for 30 years before falling apart at the end. Again we are missing the movement back and forth.

End Note

As said, I am not a psycologist and if anything is worded wrongly in a way that may seem offensive, I appologice and please let me know.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for relating to a robot?

This is a situation that too place between me (NB 27) and my friend Charlie (NB 23). Charlie has diagnosed autism, I am currently working on getting a diagnosis/help for something in the autism/ADHD/OCD family.

I really enjoy reading science fiction books, and I recently picked up one based on the fact that it was supposed to have aroace representation. The main character is a robot (maybe a cyborg? it has organic parts) who does have aroace internal commentary. But it also has a lot of internal commentary that could be viewed as autistic coded. Things like being uncomfortable when its face is visible to humans, or finding conversations about feelings awkward. There’s more, but that’s the general gist.

I mentioned to Charlie how much I liked the book and the main character. How much it felt like me. And Charlie got upset because any form of a robot or non-human entity being seen as autistic is offensive and shouldn’t be read. And I get in the wider scope how it’s frustrating if that is the only representation, but I don’t think identifying with it personally is an issue. I prefer stories where there is some distance between me and the character like that. (As in, I don’t like reading about someone struggling with my exact situation, if that makes sense)

If it counts for anything, the author has said that they didn’t set out to make the robot autistic, just that they drew on their own life experiences with social anxieties and such.

What are these acronyms?

[malewifesband]

i believe that the toudens, marcille and senshi are the only intentionally autistic characters, though many more have some symptoms. there is a wealth of characters who have other intentional mental illnesses and disorders, and there is of course overlap between autistic traits and other neurodivergencies!

for example: kabru has a really obvious case of cptsd. this causes him to restrict his eating, suffer insomnia, obsess over small social cues in a really systematic way, and mask his real feelings constantly. he cannot read his bodys needs. he acts as a social chameleon to cope with his cptsd and the inherent distance he feels from other people as a result of his trauma at a very young age and the negative reinforcement of his adoptive mother. all of these traits can be seen in autistic people, and would be considered in an evaluation.

however, kabru lacks many of the more central facets of autism. his food aversion is general, not due to specific stimuli that he feels more acutely than others do. he expresses no sensory seeking nor sensory averse behavior. his interest in people is off-putting, but autistic people do not have the monopoly on passion, and he does not use his interest as the only barometer by which he can make sense of other areas (ex. though monsters trigger him, he is capable of easily absorbing info about them). he doesnt seem to have struggled with any developmental delays like marcille, laios and falin did (marcille is more allegorically autistic than actually so, but i count that)--when we do see him as a child he behaves as expected of an allistic child at that age. there does not appear to be a period where he struggled to socialize while he learned to mask and how to read social cues. he does not seem to struggle with task switching, pain tolerance, sense of direction, or any intellectual disabilities that mark autism as a disorder. he seems to be a bit quiet by nature, and prefers to observe rather than speak, but that too is not autism exclusive, and you need the symptoms of autism as an intellectual disability and sensory processing disorder to make a reasonable diagnosis

while his cptsd does not preclude him from being autistic, and it does not conflict with it in anyway, there is simply very little evidence for it that is not better described by his cptsd.

being autistic is only one of many ways of being neurodivergent, and its important we have solidarity with each other and recognize each others needs. we should, as autistic people, be recognizing the overlap in our disorder with those of other people, and should make it a point to understand them too

[demontobee]

Autism and Invalidation

I just can’t believe how QUICK people are to invalidate your experience. Which is why it is so important to learn to love and validate yourself.

I was diagnosed with autism earlier last year, because I had done tons of research on the topic and I had gone through the arduous process of finding a place to get the assessment done. During this process, I constantly doubted myself, and I went through loops and loops of feeling like an impostor but also the need to get answers. The assessment process itself was hard on my self-confidence as well, since I felt weird and out-of-place as an afab person assessed by the white male boy standards of autism research. Nevertheless, I got my diagnosis after weeks of filling out questionnaires and feeling uncomfortable in interviews. Having a formal diagnosis relieved me to some extent, but it has not yet cured me from self-doubt and the feeling of shame that washes over me at the thought of feigning it just to get attention, to belong somewhere, to have answers. Since I got the diagnosis, I have made huge changes in my life, which has been wonderful and terrifying at once, and I’ve had more meltdowns than I can count. And I should be proud. I have managed to overcome hurdles like my life-long comfort zone, I am trying to set boundaries and I want to find out what really makes me happy, what I was made for.

And it is exactly this achievement that makes other people doubt the validity of my experience as an autistic person.

My current therapist, who has no specific expertise in autism (especially not in afab queer autistic beans), told me last week that she thinks I was misdiagnosed. Why? Because I am able to handle change so well, because I am a very reflected person who knows exactly what their problems are and how I am harming myself, because I am able to think critically about my parents and the way they raised and treated me. An autistic person, it seems, would not be able to so that.

Bullshit.

You know how I am able to do all these things that she apparently thinks are reserved for neurotypical people? I have been teaching myself, in an ongoing and nerve-wrecking process, how to handle change. I have been working on loving myself and respecting myself enough to want to make changes that benefit me and my well-being. Setting boundaries is a hard and heart-breaking process for me. It doesn’t come naturally to me and I often feel lonely or guilty. For as long as I can remember, my mind has been going round and round reflecting on my actions, other people’s reactions, normal behavior and so on. Reflecting for me is not a skill that proves how “normal” I am, it is a survival strategy. And it is about time I put it to good use instead of fueling my anxiety and my self-criticism with it.

Just because you are developing skills that help you learn to love and validate yourself does not mean your experience as an autistic person is not valid. Formally diagnose or not. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi! My friend recommended your blog as a nice place for some research about Autism.

I've started to notice a few things and question if I could be autistic, but I wasn't able to find enough information about it while researching.

Do you have any info about how to identify autism in adults? It would help a lot 😊

Hi there,

I’ve found some resources. I’ll leave excerpts below. They are a bit long.

Common signs of autism in adults include:

* finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling

* getting very anxious about social situations

* finding it hard to make friends or preferring to be on your own

* seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to

* finding it hard to say how you feel

* taking things very literally – for example, you may not understand sarcasm or phrases like "break a leg"

* having the same routine every day and getting very anxious if it changes

Other signs of autism

You may also have other signs, like:

* not understanding social "rules", such as not talking over people

* avoiding eye contact

* getting too close to other people, or getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close to you

* noticing small details, patterns, smells or sounds that others do not

* having a very keen interest in certain subjects or activities

* liking to plan things carefully before doing them

Autism in women and men

Autism can sometimes be different in women and men.

Autistic women may:

* have learned to hide signs of autism to ‘fit in’ - by copying people who don’t have autism

* be quieter and hide their feelings

* appear to cope better with social situations

* show fewer signs of repetitive behaviours

This means it can be harder to tell you're autistic if you're a woman.

Common symptoms of autism in adults include:

* Difficulty interpreting what others are thinking or feeling

* Trouble interpreting facial expressions, body language, or social cues

* Difficulty regulating emotion

* Trouble keeping up a conversation

* Inflection that does not reflect feelings

* Difficulty maintaining the natural give-and-take of a conversation; prone to monologues on a favorite subject

* Tendency to engage in repetitive or routine behaviors

* Only participates in a restricted range of activities

* Strict consistency to daily routines; outbursts when changes occur

* Exhibiting strong, special interests

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is typically a life-long condition, though early diagnosis and treatment can make a tremendous difference.

Autism Symptoms in Adults at Home

Other peoples’ feelings baffle you. You have a collection of figurines on your desk that must be in the same order at all times. These, and other common manifestations of ASD, may be apparent in adults at home:

* Your family members lovingly refer to you as the “eccentric professor” of the family, even though you don’t work in academia.

* You’ve always wanted a best friend, but never found one.

* You often invent your own words and expressions to describe things.

* Even when you’re in a quiet place, like the library, you find yourself making involuntary noises like clearing your throat over and over.

* You follow the same schedule every day of the week, and don’t like unexpected events.

* Expressions like, “Curiosity killed the cat” or “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch” are confusing to you.

* You are always bumping into things and tripping over your own feet.

* In your leisure time, you prefer to play individual games and sports, like golf, where everyone works for themselves instead of working toward a common goal on a team.

Symptoms of ASD vary greatly from person to person based on the severity of the condition. These or similar manifestations of ASD may be apparent at work:

* When you’re having a conversation with your boss, you prefer to look at the wall, her shoes, or anywhere but directly into her eyes.

* Your co-workers say that you speak like a robot.

* Each item on your desk has a special place, and you don’t like when the cleaning company rearranges it to dust.

* You are really good at math, or software coding, but struggle to succeed in other areas.

* You talk to your co-workers the same way you talk with your family and friends.

* During meetings, you find yourself making involuntary noises, like clearing your throat over and over.

* When talking with your boss, you have difficulty telling if he is happy with your performance or mad at you.

In addition, autistic individuals may exhibit extraordinary talents in visual skills, music, math, and art. And roughly 40 percent of autistic individuals have average or above-average intelligence.

Some of the characteristics that adults with an autism diagnosis commonly report, include:

Communication

You may:

* Find joining in conversation difficult.

* Speak in a flat, monotone voice, or not speak.

* Have trouble relating to other people’s thoughts or emotions.

* Use repetitive language.

* Find it hard to read someone’s body language and emotions.

* Find that others don’t understand how you are feeling and say that “it is hard to know what you are thinking”.

* Dominate conversations and provide excessive information on the specific topics you are interested in.

* Find it easier to talk ‘at’ people, rather than engaging in a two-way conversation.

* Have trouble reading social cues.

* Find ‘small talk’ such as talking about the weather and what others are doing difficult.

* Take things literally. For example, if someone says ‘oh that’s a piece of cake’ or ‘you’re barking up the wrong tree’ you find it difficult to know what they mean.

* Be blunt in your assessment of people and things.

* Find it difficult to maintain eye contact when you are talking to someone.

* Have your own unique phrases and descriptive words.

* Find building and maintaining close friendships and relationships difficult.

* You may make faces that others find unusual.

* You may make gestures when speaking with people.

Behaviour

* You enjoy consistent routine and schedules and get upset or anxious should that routine or schedule be changed.

* You find it upsetting when something happens that you did not expect to happen.

* Have trouble regulating your emotional responses.

* Are bothered if your things are moved or rearranged by someone.

* Have a series of repetitive rituals or behaviours that you follow on a daily basis.

* You make noises in places where you are expected to be quiet.

* Preference for highly specific interests or hobbies that you spend a lot of time on.

* Have difficulty multi-tasking.

* Have a very strong reaction or no reaction at all to sensory stimuli, such as textures, sounds, smells and taste.

* Like operating solo – both at work and play.

I hope these sources help you. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[thegreatflyinggrayson]

does Bruce have autism? Can he count backwards?

He's looking to get a diagnosis for autism.

And well, it depends on how sober he is and what number he starts at. Sober? Mostly. Drunk? Not to save his life.

[devilsrecreation]

Outlander Incorrect Quotes pt 3

Janja: *mocking Jasiri* Miss me, miss me, now you gotta ki- *pauses*

Jasiri: Now, I gotta what? 😏

Janja: Nothing, forget it-

Jasiri: No no no, now I gotta what? 😏

Some hater: Listen to me, I don’t like you!

Shupavu: Do we give a fuck?

Njano: No, not one.

Shupavu: How many fucks do we give?

Njano: Zero.

Shupavu: Exactly. Therefore, your comment is

Both: ✨Irrelevant✨

Reirei: My husband is wearing a fucking suit to his autism diagnosis appointment

Goigoi: It’s a special event :D

Reirei: Shut up-

Janja: I don’t see any beautiful girls

Reirei: Just turn around~

Janja: Reirei please, only one of us can hallucinate at a time

Goigoi: Who’s the toughest animal you know?

Dogo: Mom.

Goigoi: …….Who’s the toughest male animal you know?

Dogo: You’re the toughest male animal I know!

Human AU

Nduli/Hodari: I made you a friendship bracelet!

Kiburi/Makuu: I’m not really a jewelry person

Nduli/Hodari: You don’t have to wear it

Kiburi/Makuu: No, I’m gonna wear it. Forever. Back off

Some female jackal: What’s your type?

Goigoi: I have a mate

Jackal: So what’s your type then?

Goigoi: …My mate

Jackal: What does she look like?

Goigoi: She looks like my mate

Jackal: So what would you rate me out of ten?

Goigoi: I can’t do that

Jackal: You can’t rate me at all?

Goigoi: Nope

Jackal: Then what would you rate your girlfriend out of ten?

Goigoi: She broke my scale cuz she’s so beautiful

Jasiri: You guys kidnapped Queen Dhahabu?! That's illegal!!!

Cheezi: But Jasiri, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Dhahabu or destroying the Outlands?

Jasiri: Kidnapping Queen Dhahabu, Cheezi!

Janja: Jasiri. Listen. Whatever I may think of you right now, these guys are counting on you. You inspire them!

Jasiri: What? T-To kidnap animals?

Janja: To work together!

Jasiri: TO KIDNAP ANIMALS?!?

Chungu: Prime Minister Jasiri, we all agreed a celebrity is not an animal

Sumu: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me

Sumu: Kenge, I’m begging you to go to a healer

Kenge: Sorry, is this OUR stab wound?! Stay out of it!

Sumu: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Kenge’s been raging in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Kenge: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Sumu: I do have a sense of humor you know

Kenge: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Sumu: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

Kenge: You kill animals for food?!

Sumu: I can explain!

Kenge: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

After he accidentally said ‘little’ in front of Kenge:

Janja: Top 30 reasons why we’re sorry…Number 5 will surprise you!

Kenge: Top 30 anime deaths. Number 1:YOUR FUCKING TAIL RIGHT NOW

Nduli: What’s the height of stupidity?

Kiburi: *turning to Tamka* How tall are you?

Janja, driving his crew: So how was your day?

Cheezi: We almost got surprise adopted!

Chungu: Yeah!

Janja: What?

Nne: We almost got kidnapped.

Janja: Oh, okay.

Janja: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Kiburi please come to the front desk?

Kiburi, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Tamka and Nduli

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Tamka and Nduli, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Kiburi: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Ushari: How's the lovliest animal here~?

Shupavu: I don't know, how are they~?

Ushari, flustered: I-

Njano, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Tamka: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Kiburi?

Kiburi: … No.

Nduli: I do!

Kiburi: I know, Nduli.

Nduli: I’m sad!

Kiburi: I know, Nduli.

Jasiri: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.

Shupavu: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Njano isn’t

Human AU

Tamka: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Kiburi: You’re a hazard to society

Nduli: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Kiburi: Heh. Look at those guys using that cliff as a slide

Janja: *chuckles* What furbrains!

Kiburi: Idiots.

Janja and Kiburi: *realizes it’s Chungu, Cheezi, Tamka, and Nduli*

Janja: Wait a minute…

Both: *simultaneously* THOSE ARE OUR FURBRAINS/IDIOTS

[everythingwasnormalhere]

🧸🏳️‍🌈♿📈 and uhh "how do their family/friends react to it" once I forgot the emoji for- for kenny and uhh maybe Craig and also maybe twerk? (That is if u hc either of them as disabled In any way)

I hc literally everyone as disabled, so you're getting answers for all 3 >:3

Kenny:

♿️ - What is their disability/disabilities? What are the symptoms that they show?

Besides his chronic pain i wont stop talking about, he has AuDHD, depression, MaDD and C-PTSD ✨

His C-PTSD symtoms didn't show much until adulthood (late 20s-early 30s), because that was when his brain processed the environment as safe and stopped being in permanent survival mode. However, the symptoms of everything else have showed since he was Really young, his MaDD was at its worst when he was around 12 (iykyk) and got better since he left south park, mainly after he started therapy (took him long enough smh)

📈 - What age was their disability formed, or became apparent, at?

The first time one of his deaths still hurt after the fact was on s3 e1, after Kelly revived him. However, he didn't give it much thought, thinking it was just what getting killed by lightning was like. Then it was kind of like a roulette whether it'd hurt or not, but even when it did it was incredibly easy to ignore - until his teens, when he died so often (more on purpose than not) it quickened the effects a lot

🦮 - Do they have supportive friends and/or family? How do they help on bad days? (i think you meant this one)

Yeah, he does! His friends are generally supportive, even cartman after he gets over his assholery. His siblings too :) stuart however is an asshole, and even though kenny went NC with carol i feel like she'd be quite supportive idk. And about how they help on bad days, cuddles from butters mostly do the trick XD if butters isn't there though, more often than not will someone at the very least pay attention to him, either helping out by getting him stuff (food etc) or doing something to keep him entertained (talking, board games, depends on how hes feeling tbh)

🧸- Do they have a comfort item?

He used to have his orange parka, but since karen inherited he doesn't have it anymore, so i would say he doesn't really have any comfort items? Unless we count the mimikyu plush, but idk if that would really qualify as a comfort item much, other than making him think of butters whenever he sees it :)

🏳️‍🌈 - A random headcanon about them and their disability

-He diagnosed craig's autism way before any professional did, but he thought craig was aware of it so he didn't say anything 💀 (he has the strongest autismdar ever) -Most of his daydreams are similar to the stuff he thought in the cheesing episode in some way or another -He used to deal with flashbacks by going on normally with his life, to the point nobody but his friends could ever tell he was going through The Horrors - however as his PTSD worsened he couldn't do that anymore

Craig:

♿️ - What is their disability/disabilities? What are the symptoms that they show?

Autism, it's painfully obvious yet he wasn't diagnosed till he was 15 😭

📈 - What age was their disability formed, or became apparent, at?

From kenny's pov, ever since craig was born 💀 but most people in his life didn't see it as disabling until it began messing with his studies in his teens

🦮 - Do they have supportive friends and/or family? How do they help on bad days?

YUP!!! His parents didn't think it was autism at first, "no everyone does that", surprise all the Tucker's are autistic XD They were a bit confused at first, not knowing what to do, but they were still super supportive about it :) Tricia was as much of a dick to him as usual so nothing new on her side lmao, and his friends were cool about it as soon as they learnt about his diagnosis (cue teasing from kenny and jimmy for thinking he was neurotipical smh, nah craig sry but you stuck with the nds 💀). Also, TWEEK, boy is so loud and that makes him feel so guilty because of how it overwhelms craig ;w; he was the first person who knew craig got diagnosed besides his family, and he did his best to accomodate him as much as he needed :3

🧸- Do they have a comfort item?

Not comforting autism-wise but comforting regardless, the shit ton of (accurate to constellations) glow in the dark stars in his bedroom, he cannot sleep without them. He also has a tiny alien plush keychain he found at Tweek's house and Tweek insisted he should keep it (neither of them know where it came from 💀), so that's another thing :)

🏳️‍🌈 - A random headcanon about them and their disability

-After the diagnosis he refused to leave his room for weeks because he didn't know how to cope with it, and nobody besides his family and tweek were allowed to come in during that period - in the end though, with their help he accepted it -Something I've mentioned a couple times already but is hilarious to me: he didn't talk until he was four (how did it take him so long to get diagnosed), and his first words were a "cállate pendejo" directed at cartman 😭

Tweek:

♿️ - What is their disability/disabilities? What are the symptoms that they show?

Tourettes, anxiety, schizophrenia and PPD - most of these were at the very least influenced by the whole meth in coffee thing

📈 - What age was their disability formed, or became apparent, at?

He gave symptoms of all these since he was really young, besides PPD, which only became obvious almost as soon as he left his house

🦮 - Do they have supportive friends and/or family? How do they help on bad days?

Family? Haha ok next question--- About his friends though, they do their best to help him with it. Most times during the worst days he can only stand Craig's company, who will listen to him and try to help him feel safe, however normally he's ok enough to be with others just fine. He gets accomodations at college and later at work too, like being allowed to stay home some days or to leave early

🧸- Do they have a comfort item?

YES YES YES !!! Storytime, after craig and tweek dated for three years, craig's anniversary gift was a green stuffed stegosaurus (since tweek was fixated on dinosaurs back then), which tweek named peanuts :) Peanuts became the way tweek would deal with any anxiety attacks, but he tugged at him so hard he broke - however, laura patched peanuts up for tweek (after craig quite literally begged her to, she would've done it anyway but he did anyway) Then, when they moved out, peanuts disappeared :( until the tuckers found him under craig's bed, who knows how he ended up there XD SO tweek's comfort item is the oldest most used up cutest little stego ever :3 (also does having a room full of spiders count as a comfort item? idk but he does cuz he loves spiders, craig despises that room with his whole soul poor boy hates spiders so much 😭)

🏳️‍🌈 - A random headcanon about them and their disability

Went NC with his parents as soon as he could!!! He also stopped drinking their coffee in his early teens, but because he (and everyone tbh) thought what messed up his health was the caffeine not the meth - he didn't find out about the fact he was being drugged until he was told the "secret family recipe" when he turned 18 (and, understandably, he was PISSED)

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen, i just followed you and this is really random but ive seen some of your posts helping younger people and it really struck a cord and i need to just let the words fall out of me.

ive been having issues with my girlfriend she cheated on me but this situation is very complicated and we're both fucked up people but i know she still loves me and i really love her. but my anxiety and our lack of communication is really bad right now and im so worried she might not love me the same anymore

ontop of this im 18 and for the past id say 5ish years my mental health and family life has been getting worse, getting diagnosis is hard especially with mentally ill and just overall bad parents that somehow dont understand or believe. i know im deppresed and have been i have anxiety, sever paranoia maybe bpd and bipolar and autism and everything is just so much. now the one person i had is something thats making everything hurt more and i just don't know where to go, im trying to get help but its so slow in this country and i feel so lost and tired i barely eat now and when i do its ether rare or unhealthy and everything is so much i want to collapse.

i hope this isn't to much to randomly send anonymously but you just seem really kind and helpful. thank u for your reply if you do

HI and please accept my apologies for the delay on answering this. I am sorry you are going through so much. My kids are adopted from foster care and I had many kids in my home for up to 5 years who eventually went back home. That is to say I have a lot of experience with mental illness, the systems that treat them, trauma and kids who came from unstable home lives.

At the ripe old age of 18 you have plenty of time to find love and contentment but right now might not be the time. I understand there might be odd circumstances that caused your girlfriend to cheat on you. If you feel betrayed and lost trust that is a feeling that is next to impossible to overcome for people with no comorbidities let alone a teen trying to figure herself out and deal with navigating the broken mental health/care system.

It is actually quite normal for young love to change and get redefined into friendship even when the circumstance are the best. Her cheating on you might very well be a sign that your relationship is in flux and not what you thought it was. A romance that has run its course is not a failure, relationships do not have to last forever to be important and real and worth having had.

It might be scary to think of not being with her, of not having your "one" person that you can count on but I do believe you can get farther working on yourself if you put time and energy into you and not dividing it up between you and her.

There is a lot of precedent set for women to set aside their romance and intimacy in order to be just friends while one or both does some work on herself. Sometimes it is necessary to stay involved for emotional support or financial support, that is just the reality of our world. Living single can be very difficult.

Please consider letting go of the relationship in its current form and putting your energy of yourself. Letting go of the stress of trying to repair what you had with her will remove so much pressure from you and from her that you will feel much more ready to tackle your mental state.

I promise. You are not a failure, she is not "the bad guy" in this story. Take all the wonderful things you shared with her keep those with you when you want a reminder that it loving her was worth your time even if it didn't end like you planned.

Seek mental health help but starting small. A therapist can help you begin to talk through things and often she can help you find additional resources like a medical Dr, public subsidies for insurance or free clinics to assist you in getting medication and mental health support. Most counties have a social services office and those employees are a wealth of information.

[fics-n-stuff]

"I love you, dads"

Pairing: Eddie Munson × Steve Harrington (but not really, this is more a story about them and their daughter (and son))

Summary: Sophia can't bring herself to call her adoptive parents, Steve and Eddie, "dad" for a long time. Same universe / continuation of The Interview (and the year and a half to follow)

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I asked you guys to give me prompts for rockstar!Eddie teacher!Steve pt2 back in November and none of you gave me anything so this is what you get because it's all I could think of. It's been sitting in my drafts for a while because I don't love it and was hoping to think of something better. Next time you ask someone for a pt2 and they ask for prompts to use, SEND PROMPTS!!

Sophia didn't call Steve and Eddie "dad" for a long time. The dad that she'd had for the first eleven years of her life was wrapped around her heart, tangling the word up in complicated emotions. She wasn't sure that she ever wanted to see that dad again, but it felt wrong to give his title to somebody else.

Steve and Eddie didn't mind. They never pushed or questioned it. When she had asked, one day when she was fourteen, if it upset them that she always addressed them by name, they had both smiled and told her that they didn't mind at all.

"Do you mean it when you say you love us?" Steve had asked.

"Of course. Of course I love you guys." She replied.

"Then it doesn't matter what you call us. We're family and we love each other and that's all that matters." He said. Sophia had tried to hold back her tears, but when Eddie snatched her to his chest for a tight hug she couldn't stop the few that slipped out.

She referred to them as her dads when talking to other people sometimes. At school, everyone knew that she was Mr Harrington's daughter, though she had kept her original name after the adoption. She said "my dads" when she talked about her home life with friends, or "my dad" when she was talking to someone new and didn't feel in the mood to have to explain who Eddie or Steve were if she referred to them by name. If anyone asked her "is that your dad?" she just said yes and didn't bother with the nuance. She knew, in her heart, that Steve and Eddie were her dads, she just couldn't call them that.

Darcey called Steve and Eddie dad. It made Sophia feel guilty sometimes. She had been with them for three and a half years when the eight year old boy had joined the household. Darcey was sweet and had been hopping from foster home to foster home since he was four. He didn't have the same complicated feelings about calling Steve and Eddie "dad" as Sophia did, and he started doing it only a few months after his adoption was finalised.

"Just because Darcey calls me and Steve dad doesn't mean that you have to." Eddie had told her, having noticed her guilt and pulled her aside one day. "We know it's complicated for you, and if you never called us dad that would be fine with us. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know, it's just… if Darcey can say it after less than a year and I can't say it after almost four then… I don't know, it feels like a problem with me. Like, do I not love you guys as much as he does?"

"Oh, pumpkin, that's not something you ever have to worry about." Eddie comforted, brushing a hand over her cheek before wrapping a hand around her shoulders and tucking her into his side. "We know you love us, a simple word doesn't change that. When you call for me and you say Eddie, and when Darcey calls for me and he says dad, I answer the same way because you're both my kids and I don't care what you call me. Well, as long as you don't call me anything mean." He finished with a joke, and Sophia chuckled.

"Thanks, Eddie." She mumbled with a slight smile.

"Anytime, Soph. Come on, let's get a snack."

Eddie was on tour when Darcey got his autism diagnosis. Steve and Eddie had both been pretty sure that he was on the spectrum since back when they were fostering him, before even filing for adoption. Neither of them said it but they had suspicions that that was likely a big reason that he had bounced between homes so much. Steve was particularly frustrated he hadn't been tested before he came to them because from the stories that Darcey told of previous foster families it was clear that his needs hadn't been accommodated in those homes.

Sophia was good with her brother. She was protective of him, but not in a way that stopped him from making his own decisions. She liked helping him with his homework, the two of them sitting together at the kitchen table in the afternoons, and she often caught Steve looking on at them fondly as he cooked dinner. 

When Sophia was sixteen and Darcey was ten, they spent summer vacation bouncing around Europe following Eddie as Corroded Coffin went on tour. Darcey had hyperfixated on films and cinema in general and had started making his own little movies, so Sophia found herself starring in a series of short films throughout the vacation. Darcey filmed a lot of home videos too, and at the end of the vacation they had all sat down in the living room to watch the memories that he had captured.

Sophia struggled with her college applications. There was no use turning to Eddie, he never even thought about applying to college, so she had gone to Steve. He had grimaced and groaned.

"You know, I don't think I'm gonna be the best help with that." He'd said. "My applications were horrible, it's a wonder I got accepted anywhere."

He had instead called in reinforcements in the form of Aunt Nancy, who worked through Sophia's applications with her, encouraging her ambitions. Steve and Eddie had thrown her a party when she was accepted into her top choice college. Steve even baked a cake and everything.

It was Eddie who took her shopping for a prom dress. They spent hours shopping, Sophia trying dresses on and stepping out to get Eddie's feedback. He was surprisingly involved and enthusiastic with the whole process, and when she found the dress that she wanted he had grinned wide and planted a kiss on her forehead. When prom night came, he and Steve had spent so long taking photos that Sophia was worried that the limo her and her friends had hired together would actually leave without her.

When the time came for Sophia to start college, Steve and Eddie insisted that the whole family go to drop her off. They helped her move into her dorm and got a nice lunch together. Darcey helped her arrange all her trinkets on her desk in a way that he deemed acceptable, and Steve tacked all of the photos that she had printed out on the wall neatly. Eddie didn't do much but talk, but that made it feel more normal.

"Alright, well, I guess you really are all grown up." Steve said, looking over the room one more time as they got ready to leave. "Don't be one of those people that never changes their sheets, okay? You have three sets of bedding, you changed them every two weeks."

"Okay, Steve. I'll change them every two weeks." Sophia chuckled.

"We're gonna call you all the time. You're not even gonna miss us." Eddie smiled.

"You'll be home for Thanksgiving, right?" Darcey questioned, and Sophia nodded.

"Absolutely I'll be home for Thanksgiving. You think I'm gonna miss Steve's Thanksgiving dinner? No way!" She replied, pulling her little brother into a hug. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Promise?"

"Promise. And hey, if you get stuck on your homework just text me, yeah?"

"Okay."

"Good." She smiled.

Darcey shuffled aside and Sophia looked up at Steve and Eddie, who were both smiling at her with such immense pride in their eyes. She flung an arm over each of their shoulders, pulling them close as they both hugged her back.

"Thank you so much for coming to drop me off." 

"Don't sweat it, kiddo." Eddie said.

"We wouldn't have had it any other way." Steve added. "We love you, Soph."

"I love you too, dads." She muttered, and she felt it. Neither of them said anything, but both Eddie and Steve held her just a little bit tighter. 

"We're always just a phone call away." Steve smiled when they pulled away from the hug, eyes shining with unshed tears as he gently cupped Sophia's cheek in his hand. She nodded in acknowledgment, holding back tears of her own.

"We'll call when we get home." Eddie said. "See you at Thanksgiving, pumpkin."

"See you at Thanksgiving." She echoed.

Her family left, sending her off on the next chapter of her life with all the faith in the world that she could accomplish whatever she set her mind to. They hopped back into the car for the drive home, Steve behind the wheel, but didn't start driving right away.

"What's on your mind, sweetheart?" Eddie asked softly.

"We did that." Steve replied quietly. "We raised that wonderful, cleverl girl in there." 

"Yes we did, Stevie."

"She called us dads." He squeaked, a couple of tears finally falling as he smiled. Eddie smiled back, wiped away Steve's tears and kissed him on the nose.

"Yes she did." He nodded. "Because that's what we are."

"Dad, why are you crying?" Darcey asked from the backseat, taking off one side of his headphones and looking up from the video he had been watching.

"No reason, honey." Steve replied and sniffed quietly. "I'm just proud of your sister is all. Happy tears."

"Okay." Darcey nodded and went back to his video. Steve wiped at his eyes and took a deep breath, finally starting the engine.

"You're a good dad." Eddie commented.

"You too." Steve replied. He started the car and pulled out of their parking spot. "I'm proud of us as well."