#does that make sense when I say it lol
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Confessing to my new friends that I am dyslexic (a lie) after being outed as disabled by a teacher (i am in no way dyslexic)
Bonus points for the fake ex-boyfriend (I’m not straight) like this is not healthy in the long run but yk how it is
#on a positive note people don’t give a rats ass ab ur ethnicity or religion so that’s great#hashtag sixthform 🤩#khioniya’s🫐#SORRY FOR LYING BUT ID LIKE RO BE TREATED WITH SOME DIGNITY LOL#ngl I’ve gotten no shit for my ‘dyslexia’ so far and that’s because I am reading and answering equations etc like a non-dyslexic person and#idk how to explain it but they’re fine with me alone being dyslexic but that’s because I don’t act dyslexic at all#like they’re fine with learning disabilities as long as you don’t actually have one??#does that make sense when I say it lol#anyway soo miffed at that teacher like maybe don’t out students as different without their consent.#or like at all#kinda vent#so#vent#for the blacklist#/lh dw guys
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one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.
in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.
disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.
desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.
in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?
we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.
except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?
and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.
to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."
this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.
in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.
the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.
and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.
some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.
the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.
we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?
"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.
there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.
#does this make sense#to do be deleted probably yikes#(takes a swing at a wasp's nest)#like i think ppl have started to just be really quiet when they like something 'problematic'#and im like... u can be like -#girl tswift NEEDS to just TAKE A BUS . LIKE?????????????????????#while also being like.#''she's a lot of fun''#if ur personal policy is that u don't support her for that reason that's great#but it's like. eating meat???#like yeah some people won't bc the environment. but the fact i eat meat doesn't mean i hate the earth#like i can say that i think the meat industry is HORRIFIC and also downright cruel to its employees#but like. still enjoy a chicken nugget....#there are people who choose otherwise. it's okay . we are people. i make like no money. u probably don't either#us fighting about whether or not it's Right To Eat The Chicken Tender just distracts from like.#actually turning your ire on the corporation#i hope it's clear what i'm saying here is like. when we fight each other for Purity Reasons#we are just doing the work of corporations . for free. like they WANT us to be doing this lol#it's the fucking DREAM of the upperclass that now ALL forms of responsibility fall on the individual
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Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Gaster#Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol#Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird#Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth#Not to mention the trauma#And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0#I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting#But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment#The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats#And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached#How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember#Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol#Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft
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Was thinking about how much of a normo I come across as irl, how I’ve felt a lil odd person out at their shows bc of being a bit older (29) and looking so aggressively normal, how generally confused people in my life would be if they knew about my d&p obsession, how thoroughly i mask weirder traits and essentially codeswitch to suit the mainstream, etc.
i feel kind of fish out of water when I imagine how all the people that populate my tumblr phandom ecosystem are likely presenting to the world irl (I.e. more visibly queer, counterculture, and so on). But then I think maybe the most visible phannies are the ones with the most curated, alt, deliberate daytoday lewks/style? So maybe what I’m picturing is off base? But then I’m also basing this off of what audiences look like in audience footage, m&gs, etc.
Sooooooo i would like to know… do you guys feel like you present as someone who may be Deeply Online and obsessed with two gay nerds from the internet? Or do you hide it and fly under the radar, masking as a total normy and living a double life?
(To clarify I don’t mean you’re like out and about wearing the fringes boob sweatshirt lol I more mean vibes and overall lewk yk?)
#does this make any sense?#not to say we’re all abnormal freaks over here but also…. we lowkey are freaks lol#like this is not typical behavior#obvs when I say dressing alt and counterculture I’m aware phannies aren’t like a predominantly goth community or some extreme aesthetic#or what have you#I just mean that this is obviously not a super mainstream interest nor are they mainstream creators anymore#(arguably they never were. they were big but not mainstream. I think people entrenched in internet#and YouTube and phandom can become a bit tunnelvisioned and#and forget that even at their peak Dan and Phil were still#a niche interest and an unconventional one#but i digress)#basically I’m trying to figure out how many of us are also living double lives on here#I hope no one comes for my over this or it doesn’t get misconstrued#I just have like SUCH a normal job and so many people I know would be DEEPLY confused if they learned about this whole thing#and obviously there isn’t a clear binary of like normal vs. internet dwelling weirdo#and that we contain multitudes#and all things can be true simultaneously#I know I know I know you know that I know right?? but you also know what I mean right??#me yapping#dan and phil#phan
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Yknow when I first saw Chronos i couldn't quite take him seriously bc he's... he's a twink. who gave him that tiny tiny waist and those birthgiving hips? why is he built like that? i expected a giant or something, i mean the big 3 brothers are built ykno their father should be big muscly guy too right?? and then i realized he's got an hourglass shape and. 😶
my bad supergiant u are right. titan of time. hourglass. titan of time? hourglass. checks out ✓ he is hourglass shaped. an hourglass. ⌛that. that is him. titan of time alright. hourglass
but still that tiny waist
#hades 2#hades 2 spoilers#c rambles#sir titan of time chronos u are a twink. like ur a tall twink i'll give u that but. dasjklhfdsfhskf#i just fucking jsaldjsjfs#but like i was so gagged when i realized he's an ⌛#i like shut my mouth. hes a fcuking hourglass holy shit!#like i cant dispute them at all thats lowkey brilliant i am kinda mad it makes sense#i gotta say that gold in his skin looks immaculate. like everything about him looks good#its just that fucking waist lmao#k kardashian wishes she had that fucking waist bruh#also is it only me or does he remind you of gabriel agreste from miraculous ladybug?? askhfdsjfs#like idk why? maybe bc hes tall and blondish... and that pose too. but like idk sdsjhlafkhasdf#how am i gonna respect that man with the gabriel vibes (the least respectable man in ml) and that tiny waist...#i gotta play more i only saw him officially once#in fact im gonna do that rn lol i just had to ramble about the game#my shit
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"shipping saiki is aphobic because he's aroace!"
stares at you with my demiromantic asexual in a committed relationship eyes then looks at the camera like im in the office
#good thing those folks have yet to find their way into my inbox or id be at risk of embarrassing myself lol#if you wanna see more of the content you prefer...make it yourself :3 MAKE IT YOUR FUCKING SELF lol#youre so attached to the idea youll complain about it but you refuse to do anything about it even create works that you and others will sur#ly enjoy how does this even make sense#sorry for reviving this from the dead when it blessfully hasnt been a thing in the tag for a hot moment but im still irritated hahahah#seriously you know what that screams to me? virtue signalling. you wont do anything except say a few words every now and again like#the motivation starts and ends at appealing to the popular opinion. earn your brownie points. and do nothing.#what is your care made of? thoughts and prayers?#every time ive asked one of these people why they dont make the content themselves the response has been 'i shouldnt have to lol'#you shouldnt have to bully people either with your aphobic BS but look at you! aw~#yall dont wanna commit to shit you just want to tell other people how they should exist.#if you cant create for whatever reason you better be ready and willing to drop your rec list and fave artists. and i sure as shit hope your#complimenting them thoroughly.
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need to be so clear this is not a joke this is not sarcasm blah blah blah NO. i really dont give a fuck is qinwen actually is unpleasant or unlikable in the locker room. we get constant "access" to these people, where they are expected to be more than just tennis players but must also be public personalities, role models, marketing angels..........like i really dont give a fuck if a player decides they dont want to constantly have to cater to other people......the people in the locker room are literally your competition there isnt anything in the job description of "tennis player" that says you have to be nice to them.
#like. is it fun when players do get along? absolutely!#but im not going to sit here and expect them to always be nice and friendly and welcoming. like come on#its a competitive sport! its not always nice and friendly and welcoming!#i guess i just think its maybe a bit dangerous to say 'oh well obviously these players have it wrong and qinwen is just focused on herself'#because if it turns out that she genuinely isnt friendly in the locker room then you have to reconcile that with the previous narrative#does that make sense?#idk if it does. but my point is i really dont care if she's unfriendly#crazy thing to me as well is like. if i sense that someone doesnt like me or that we arent getting along. i just tend to ignore them!#like ok you sit in that corner and i'll sit in this one and we can co-exist doing our own thing without getting into conflict#and it really is quite easy to do this! shocker! you dont have to rise to every person you dont like!#anyways. lol
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Actually if we want to talk about the lilienne/joyce ship I would like to bring up that it plays into the bourgeois woman’s fantasy of class dynamics in a relationship (à la lady chatterley), as well as the upper/middle class idea that their identity as women supersedes said class dynamics (and therefore they believe themselves to be in no position to oppress women of the working class) in a way that lends itself to reactionary movements like TERF ideology. As someone who lives in the uk and has been heavily affected by said ideology, joyce actually put me on high alert just by her voice and appearance.
I think it’s a mistake not to acknowledge that joyce is heavily thatcherite coded (the hair, the posh accent etc) especially when compared to lilienne who plays into the working class british woman archetype: she sounds welsh (considered a ‘lower’ accent), has young children, is a widower etc. It is fairly common to see the ‘confident mum who has to single-handedly support her young family’ in soap operas and other media, and she definitely plays into that stereotype.
Anyway, the ship is on the surface level a fun one, but let’s not overlook the framing as a one-sided and rather sinister set-up.
#does this make any sense I always write these very late at night for some reason. might revise my wording later lol.#disco elysium#lilienne the net picker#joyce messier#also want to clarify: when I say that welsh is a lower accent I am of course talking about the perspective of the upper class who tend to#lean towards queen’s english or a sort of high scottish if they have old clan status#accents in this country are considered indicative of upbringing and financial status that tends to get overlooked by usamericans#when they talk about people here lol#ALSO because I see people adding this in the tags: I do think the ship is fun when explored from a darker angle#I do love toxic relationship stuff I’m not morality policing lol. go crazy.
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okay i need feedback from the autism mentall illness website um. this is going to read like an AITA post. brother vs half-sister (who are currently my dependents do to their own individual disabilities + ptsd/depression) spat i will skim the details on but i'm worried my sister will discount my take since i'm not autistic myself so. am i crazy to call it ableist to look at an autistic person (23) who is clearly going through it dealing w long term depression, a world that doesn't give a shit abt him, unemployment, very self-isolated and burnt out barely leaving his room because the world is an ableist dumpster fire with zero opportunities for him, and then bring up childhood abuse he's suffered and his diagnosis as reasonable factors on top of this to worry he'll [checks notes] abuse my cat just to hurt me or even worse have a breakdown and kill me and his other sibling in a violent episode, a train of thought i probably wouldn't even be having were he not [checks notes] mad at me for the first time in my life?
like i don't have any other read on this kind of fear-based characterization other than ableism. like those are very real things in his life but she never points out any current violent behavior, of which there are none, only the one (1) instance of him lashing out when he was like 14 and Officially Diagnosed Low Empathy she thinks is a concern and Hateful Looks toward her since he stopped getting along with her, that's it. i tried explaining to her why i, someone who's lived w him his entire life, can vouch for how unlikely he is to do anything like that, especially when it's again not based on anything he's actually currently doing except for isolating in a way that is much more indicative of him potentially being a danger to himself than anyone else, and being cold towards her specifically, and i thought she had let it go, but when i brought it up off-hand in a conversation tangentially related, she continued to defend and justify her Concern about the potential directions his behavior could lead to because [checks notes] other people in similar situations have lashed out and killed their entire families according to. true crime books or videos she's watched on youtube as far as i'm aware. ignoring the fact that her and i have had the same or Worse childhood abuse and have acted similarly isolated in the past, or for her literally just as currently as him, and she's not expressed any worry past or present about either of us doing anything like that, in my opinion obviously because i haven't cut her off due to our differences like he decided to. like am i big sibling biased because this is pissing me off so bad.
#j.txt#autism#ableism#very sorry to hang all my dirty laundry like this but she is absolutely the type of person to not take accusations of ableism seriously#due to being disabled/traumatized herself and i. feel like she thinks just because she's fixated on and consumed so much about like#mental disorders and illness and whatever she thinks she's an expert on it#enough to like. non-gendered equivalent mansplain peoples' own traumas and disorders to them lol which she has done to me as well#my brother actually last i checked felt like his diagnosis wasn't even accurate#but to me knowing our mom was v ableist antivax about her understanding of autism and a very neurotypical definition of it#it makes sense if the criterias or definitions don't feel accurate to him#idk. IDK#um. if this gets no engagement i'll delete it rather quick probably i just#don't wanna talk out of my ass when i'm not even autistic yk#i'm very aware i can be biased about him vs her because i actually grew up w him and he's younger than us but like#i havent heard him use her own diagnosis and childhood trauma and ugly moments in this way to justify his bad faith characterizations of he#so it's very much. just something she's doing. if my brother started doin it too i'd have the same conversation but he hasn't which i think#is u.m Telling <3#like She's the one actually complaining about how he assumes the worst of her in everything she does now and it makes her feel awful#meanwhile she. probably doesn't say any of this to Him but boy has she talked about it with me!#if it's not obvious we are all very mentally ill trapped in a house 2gether trying to save up to move so we can get away from each other lo
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god. it kills me to think the kind of sick ass makeup we'd get if worlds beyond number wasn't a podcast
honestly the way its all so artfully done you can truly HEAR how amazing it would be. like the voice of it all IS the showstopping looks, you feel me?
#just brennans makeup on c3e98 has me daydreaming lol#but when i say 'voice' i dont just mean sound design but like 'the sound of the body'#does that make sense?#the sound design is included but whatever you would define as the voice of the body cuz just saying 'vibes' feels like a disservice#subjects to revisit one day if im feeling like writing a longwinded appreciation post#worlds beyond number#wbn#the wizard the witch and the wild one#wwwo
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base meme would have suited fine but i think this was a bit more accurate LOL
#this is vee speaking#POPULAR WITH MEN KUUKOU 🙌#THE GIRLIES THINK HES A FUNKY LITTLE GUY (SAFE) 🙌#that ask i got about what makes kuukou attractive in that universe was so interesting i’m so serious lol#like!!!!! based on what hypmic presents us i’d say the ones popular with women are the ones who get girls screaming their names like idols#like ramuda hifumi and jyushi!!!!! and samatoki and ichiro that one time in tdd iirc!!!!!!#tdd manga also had girls fawning over nmcd so there is that in the camp kuukou does have appeal to girls in that sense#but it’s funny to me in canon we’ve seen kuukou flocked by men old people and children LOL#that reminds me of this one comic i read where bat were out in the town but jyushi and hitoya wanted to stop somewhere else i think#so kuukou waited for them outside and as he waited he slipped into meditation reciting buddhist prayers#when jyushi and hitoya came back they found him still chanting still in that deep state of mind#but passerbys had given him offerings and an old lady was praying to KUUKOU offering her thanks LOL#c: kuukou👑
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Day 347 | id in alt
Kugisaki hasn't been around Gojo enough to gaf about him LMAO.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#shoko ieri#okay rant time yall#i know some folkos might be mad that i make it seem like shoko is a wet fucking rag which she kinda is kinda isn't#shes clearly capable in her area although in a very she's using what she knows in a different way than shes used to#Shoko unfortunately was EXTREMELY dependent on Gojo's decisions and i hate gege for showing that#most of her actions included gojo in some degree which unfortunately made the decisions in which she needed to say things#she made those decisions based around what gojo would do#letting getos body go uncremated letting gojo killed geto himself ect ect#she didn't involve herself because gojo was gonna do it anyway and i think that mentally effected her bad#so turned herself into her work. somebody that deals with corpses becoming a single minded corpse herself. funny aint it#she has jokes but she isn't very used to having somebody focused on her for a decision she made#because Okkotsu didn't even fucking say a thing about her when his ass came back so i think it would be funny if Kugisaki kinda loathed her#like yes Shoko. your decisions effect others that arnt Gojo did you get jumpscared and then shoved back into reality? i hope you did#she dosent speak. words arnt really her thing where actions mostly are.#so shes trying to do things that help and thats funny because shes kinda ass at it#like helping burying somebody and like preparing for the worst after you fucked somebody over#shoko i see you#also girl why is the only version of self care you have ever done FLINGING YOUR FUCKING CIGARETTE AWAY#why is that your only version of self care and not getting over your damn alcoholism. weirdoooo#Kugisaki using herself as a frame of reference for bad shit. girl i see you LOL#hope that Shoko shit makes sense because she definitely does shit. she knows what she's doin#but before gojo died. well gojo was sort of like a fucked up version of a higher up for her idk#Shoko isn't a pushover. Kugisaki is just mad as hell.#shoko is an asshole that sucks at walking forward but she hurts while healing too so...girl what the fuck#she cant do much or anything with the kids except heal them in a way that dosent quite matter anymore
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"Does Shen Qiao even like Yan Wushi?"
I feel like it may be relatively easy for people to pick out "what does Yan Wushi like about Shen Qiao / what does YWS get out of yanshen." but I think a criticism/line of thought I see around is people struggling with "well what does Shen Qiao get out of all of this?" and like, "does SQ even like YWS, what with how YWS annoys him and gets him angry all the time."
But I think that actually is the crux of their relationship, lol. Because if you think about it, to everyone else, Shen Qiao is this lofty ideal, this untouchable immortal/仙, maybe even this obstacle or goal to conquer or shoot down.
Who else treats him casually and teases him and pokes at him to get emotional reactions out of him because they like that about him?
If he wants to seek people who treat him with respect and reverence, he just has to step out into the city square - hell, he just has to travel out and random people he meets are likely to treat him with that sort of dazzled awe or reverence too (we literally see this happen several times in the course of the novel).
So yeah, I think joking not joking, YWS makes him angry and feel Emotions and he likes that, YWS is enrichment for him, YWS pushes his buttons and his boundaries but reframing that it's pushing him out of his comfort zone and like hardening him off to the elements and realities of the world like a gardener with plants out of the greenhouse. But also, YWS treats him like a person, like a man, and not like Shen-daozun, Shen-daozhang, Shen-zhangjiao. To Yan Wushi, Shen Qiao is Shen Qiao. (and he loves to tease the shit out of him hehe ( ̄▽ ̄) )
CONVERSELY! This also gives Shen Qiao a space to *be* Shen Qiao. With Yan Wushi, he does not have to be Shen-daozun, Shen-daozhang, Shen-zhangjiao. He does not have to always be magnanimous and generous and a bastion of righteousness. These are in his nature, yet, but it's not ALL of his nature - he is, after all, still a man, a human, with human emotions -- including the full breadth of human emotions. Yes Yan Wushi annoys him and he shows it, but it's specifically BECAUSE of that that they are closer than him and anyone else in the world. He can "be himself" around Yan Wushi, he can get worked up and be petty and be snippy, and it's fine and won't cause catastrophes or undesired splashdown sociopolitical effects.
But also, he (lets himself?) get worked up by Yan Wushi - they HAVE that level of intimate understanding with each other where they can be like this and not have feelings hurt in any irreparable way. This isn't something that SQ does (lets himself do?) with just anyone, which we see throughout the novel reflected in his internal narration and comportment. So really, the fact that he DOES get annoyed with YWS shows that they are on a different, more "real" level with each other than SQ is with anyone else.
And like, they didn't get there in a day, sure, but imo we definitely see through the novel how they get there, so imo, the yanshen relationship is incredibly justified.
(I also say this bc I think literally every "I've connected the two dots" moments I've had in my reread, I would metaphorically flip the page only to be met with that connection I'd made spelled out on the page by MXS lmao. Like... yeah okay MXS *shakes your hand* you know your stuff. oh and also because I do think there may be some level of skepticism about yanshen esp from SQ's side floating around lol, but like... MXS did the legwork! yes chapter 45 happened, yes YWS never "apologizes" with words, but that doesn't mean that they don't share a deep mutual understanding of themselves and each other by the end, nor that they haven't moved past the events of literally 83 chapters ago, 96 if you count the extras -- a whole literal two-thirds of the novel ago. Like, I know we piss on the poor here and many educational systems around the world are in shambles these days, but work on developing reading comprehension skills, pls :') )
(lmao rip this post got long AGAIN. well, hopefully at least some people are reading all of this lol.)
#qian qiu#thousand autumns#qian qiu meta#yan wushi#shen qiao#mood is another great idea by ME dot meme#anyway here is my latest hot take! inspired by a meta post I glanced at from ages ago that I did not actually read properly#bc I think even then I Disagreed with the thoughts on it and thought it was kind of lukewarm lol#when like... I think SQ is also insane for YWS - it's just harder to see if you're approaching it from a conventional kind of interp#and also bc YWS is so much more vocal/ostentatious with his brand of craziness lol#but like. I very much ascribe to the 'actually SQ is like padme amidala' school of thought (that I coined lol)#and it's like. when you let go of 'but who would DO that/think that' and just accept. he does. and what does it say about him#it all starts to make sense#also yes I did this in a sort of long-winded reblog lol but now I'm making it its own post#hopefully this one is a bit more uhh concise than the last one now that my thoughts have percolated and set (as with a mousse) some more
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one day we will talk about how tennis fans talk about/treat players they find attractive versus players they dont…………
#and sorry but. a lot of you do this!#im sure i do it as well#but sometimes it’s just feels like…idk really obvious that that’s what’s happening#idk it pisses me off. but especially with the wta it feels reductive sometimes to call it out#like ‘oh you’re only supporting her bc she’s pretty’ like EWWW. what a nasty thing to say#BUT i do think it’s true sometimes!!!!#not that people only support players they think are pretty#but that people are far more sympathetic or that they’re more likely to get behind a player they aren’t *usually* a fan of#does this make sense?#and i think it extends to the atp as well but partially less obvious bc ppl let men get away with anything anyway lol#lowkey it feels mean to talk about because any comparisons i make have to insinuate someone’s attractiveness…#but like it really feels like the elephant in the room sometimes…like how do you not see what you’re doing here#and can i be real! i think karo is a massive beneficiary of this!#and i think that’s part of why i notice it so much because i notice the way people talk about her and support her (which of course i love)#but then i compare that with other players who have had similar stories…and i feel like i do have the perspective here—#because i see so much of what is said about karo#so it feels quite obvious when she’s honestly? treated *very* well considering her career#we’ve seen plenty of players who have injury issues who are just labeled inconsistent or as having ‘physical issues’#i think karo gets a lot of sympathy in comparison…and id even go so far as to say i think she’s overhyped sometimes!#which i know is a wild thing to say as a huge fan of hers but i think it’s true! idk. this is not really the point but im trying to explain#what i meant by the earlier tags. that some players who are seen as attractive are given way more leniency in general
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To also go off of the point about cop!akihiko being annoying to me I gotta say that Akihiko as a character is very hit or miss with me because of how different adaptations of p3 will subtly alter his character. I felt like in portable with the femc route he comes off best, he’s a bit of a hothead with an obsession with fighting, but he’s overcompensating his strength so he doesn’t feel as weak and helpless as he’s been in many situations. He defines strength in a very literal sense, being physically strong and using that to protect others, but he’s lacking in emotional strength as a result. And in particular in this version I think he’s portrayed as a bit more goofy and sweet in a sense. He cares deeply for you as a friend and leader but he struggles with finding the words to describe how he feels. Hes kinda naive and gullible and has trouble noticing his surroundings. He has no clue what he’s doing but his heart is in the right place. I think he just comes off much more human and he has flaws, many many flaws, and that makes him all the more lovable
But then in other adaptations and spinoffs it’s like. They look at him through some hetero male bullshit filter and seem to view him as a lot more admirable and cool. Like in p3 dancing, theres literally an event where he’s talking with Junpei and Minato and they’re gushing about how perfect Akihiko is and how he doesn’t seem to have ANY flaws at all. And it becomes clear his inability to flirt with women just gets added as a way to make sure you, the Straight Male Player, don’t get insecure being next to such Perfection because at the end of the day, you’re still more charming and sexy than he will ever be because you’re better. It’s a “flaw” that’s only there to shield a sensitive male ego. And then in arena I mean, come on. He’s overly beefy and is a damn cop and travels the world and loves Protein™️ it’s his whole personality and he’s so clearly meant to be seen as hot but like, he’s just some shitty hetero male fantasy. Hes what the writers deem to be a Perfect Man that every guy wishes he could be, but don’t worry he’s still bad with women so you don’t gotta worry about him stealing your property- I mean, girlfriend!
And though I’ve not played reload and don’t really plan to anytime soon, judging from his social episodes they seem to have a similar problem. Akihiko comes off as a lot less approachable, like the year age gap is just too much of a barrier to get to know him properly. And he doesn’t have that dorky sweetness he has in portable, he’s just that perfect hetero male fantasy guy and don’t you fucking worry- he still has his protein powder with him
#persona#persona 3#akihiko sanada#does this make sense like i feel like im going crazy cuz okay#akihiko isnt in my top 3 characters (shinji ken and fuuka lol) but hes teetering on the edge hes number 4!#i really loved him in portable i worked my ass off to get his social link i had him on my team the entire game#i found him really cute and endearing and hilarious but then like i played dancing#and er well i never got all his events cuz im bad at that game but i noticed that subtle difference#and then watching reload clips i felt it again i was like good god i hate this guy i wanna beat him up#which is so weird since hes one of my favorite characters so like what the hell is that#but i really think it is just this filter hes being presented with like when hes supposed to be a love interest#hes allowed to be more flawed and adorably pathetic and sensitive#like hes the one who wants to do the protecting but you end up protecting him you know?#so yeah this is what i mean when i say that if any straight person looks at akihiko sanada i will melt them with lasers#my mitsuru rant is a lot longer but its very similar just that ughh disgusting filter shes presented through I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH#i think having kotone as the protagonist fixes most problems so i consider that the solution lol but i think Aki not getting a real social#link is a major disservice and creates that super annoying upperclassman divide that makes him unapproachable and idolized
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Very few people bothered to find out what S1 Izzy / complex Edward enjoyers were interpreting differently than the "Izzy is Kylo Ren / Ed's his victim" crowd that made us like him in the first place, so it figures that now very few people are bothering to understand what a lot of us are criticizing in S2 while the - shockingly - exact same crowd leads the discussion on how it was a beautiful season and Izzy enjoyers are just incapable of decentering their problematic fave.
And it's once again leading to a barrage of posts lecturing us about why the takes they imagine we hold are wrong and supporting the same toxic fandom atmosphere that aimed to harass us all out for a year and a half. Cool. Glad to see no lessons were learned whatsoever.
Only difference is now we actually might leave, on account of you don't generally put up with extended harassment to support a show you don't even think is being written well. 🤷♀️
#it does make sense that the people who liked the aesthetic of S1 and then just wholly made up the underlying story they loved#are jumping to defend a s2 that gives them the look of relationship development - kisses! sex! - but we're criticizing as lacking story lol#like maybe my media literacy is not the problem when you just decide the story is clearly conveying what you want it to 🤷♀️#like i have seen a few izzy enjoyers who also are having fun with it or choosing the most 'benefit of the doubt' reads and good for you all#but i also noticed that S2 has struggled to trend near as much as S1 despite the audience jumping to watch immediately so like.#maybe that says something#our flag means death#ofmd s2#ofmd harassment#this fandom is so fucking toxic#(an insulting post crossing my dash TWICE from two different barely ofmd bloggers during destiel day really ticked me off)#ladyluscinia
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