#do you remember that scene on kung fu panda the first one

[musubiki]

my sister in law is a chiropractor and also incredibly tiny (like 5’1 and wears kids shoes) but she can adjust people like twice her size fully based on her technique and it always amazes them. im imagining this tiny little grandma adjusting lime’s giant ass and doing it with ease. like she cracks his back and hes like wtf

you KNOW madam springs has her patients lying down on the little chiropractor bed, doing some kung fu shit on their spines and tossing them like a fucking salad, and then shes like "All done!" and its the best youve felt in your life

[harvestingsun]

SPOILERS FOR KUNG FU PANDA 4

This is a massive rant btw. I have a lot of thoughts about this movie

(TW: Bad spelling and not remembering any names 💀)

...

Yh so I'm ranting rn

Like it was good, but not great 🕴️. Does not compare to the first 2, DEFINITELY not the second one, that one was just 🙌🏽 . And u know, that's ok, it's hard to pull a puss in boots and do better than the originals, but still the movie was lack luster

These are my points for why:

1. Plot was SO obvious. As soon as I saw that fox I knew she d be the new dragon warrior, cuz yh. Just obvious. And you know what? I wouldv been fine with that if they developed her character more. Like her bond with po SHOULDV been developed SO MUCH MORE. It felt like their whole dynamic was she was sarcastic and he went 🥺 n that's it. Like, why couldn't they have bonded more on them both being orphans ? How she feels unwanted because the world has rejected her and KEEPS rejecting her, but Po (who has gone thru a very similar thing) can teach her that yes that may be true, but that won't always be the case and once she finds her found family she can feel accepted, just like what happens to Po.

2. The villain and her daughter - so much potential but not enough done for them. Like just. I loved their dynamic, just SO MICH POTENTIAL BUT NOT ENOUGH GIVEN. There was one flashback of them meeting. That's it. There was basically only r4 interactions between them aswell: the betrayal scene, the "I'm using you" scene,the flashback and the final fight. And in NONE of these does it show how strong of a connection they have what about their relationship makes the fox betray Poe for the chameleon??? I wish we had a shi fu and tai lung type flashback where it showed the chameleon raising her and them developing a bond so that we know how hard it is for the fox to go against her orders

3. The villain herself - what motive ? U cannot convince me that "I'm evil because all the kung fu masters rejected me because I was too small" WHEN THERES A SNAKE THE SAME SIZE AS HER AND A F*CKING BUG WHO ARE BOTH AMAZING KUNG FU WARRIORS . like no. Just no. Someone would accepted her. U can't use her size as a reason for her becoming evil, just no. Instead, why not explain her reason being that she was poor/living in the streets ? A large portion of the movie is set around how there's a large group underground who have turned to crime, and poverty is often rampant in cities, so why not use that ? It also allows her to bond more with the fox as they have the same upbringing, but instead the chameleon was never able to get past how no one helped her and everyone rejected her, whilst the fox is able to accept where she is and find ppl who will accept her. Then they could've had a rlly impactful scene in the end where the fox accepts change and wanted the chameleon to change with her because SHE loves her and would fight for her, mother daughter style. Like writing that out just rlly made me think about how much they missed the mark, almost all 3 KFP movies are about father-son bonds, this movie could've had an impactful mother-daughter bond n it blew it 😩. So yh, I don't think the villains motive was fleshed out enough, I just don't think that her being small should have been the main centre for her character. Compare her to all the past villains, her motive is too simple and not developed enough

4. Tai lung and shen. NOT USED ENOUGH. How dare u bring those GODS OF VILLAISN back and not use them properly. And also have Po barely be surprised about them . SHEN IS THE MAN THAT COMMITTED MASS GENOCIDE AGAINST UR SPECIES, KILLED UR MOTHER AND LEFT U AN ORPHAN, Y R U NOT SHOCKED OR WORRIED THAT HE S HERE. And on top of that, ain't no what that peacock would simply bow and go " 🙂" and leave. He ain't bowing to Po, why would he respect him ? Shen doesn't CARE about being the dragon warrior, that wasnt his calling or whatever. Like, i could hav accepted it if he at least had a sentence apologizing for his actions, just ANYTHING that explains why he s so calm. I'm not angry that he is calm, I'm angry that it wasn't explained 🕴️(and tbh, I don't even think he needed a redemption arc much. He did horrible stuff, yes he has trauma, doesn't explain his actions. His death was a result of his arrogance and karma for his actions, I just think his character was fine (stressing him as a character was well written) the way it is, of anything this movie and taken away from his character )

And tai lung. Most of his character in this was comedy. And him going from "you are a mistake🙄" to "actually ur not a mistake 😏" within 10 minutes was annoying. I wish there was more interaction between him and Po. Then fighting together, bonding. Have them BOTH grow to move on from the title of dragon warrior together, since that title is such a grand part of both of their identities that they both have had a tough time letting go of. Once again, I'm not angry that he made jokes n was acting goofy (that was fun, I liked that), I'm annoyed that the movie didn't explain or provide context for why he was able to get over his past feelings and beliefs.

I can understand that they died and were able to let go of their actions in their mortal life, i just wish that it was addressed or properly shown. Especially shen, in his last moments he was given the chance to fess up n be good and he still refused. Bro died with u finished business, I would like to see how he came to terms with that or at least hav it b addressed

Overall, the bringing back of the past VILLAISN was fumbled. So much potential, but not used and on top of that it just kinda makes a joke of them and their original actions.

--> quick add on that I just remembered. Where r the five ? Like, I understand that they could've get the actors back or whatever. Ok find. But why not hav the chameleon capture all of them at the start and then they remain captured/past out/in a coma the rest of the movie until they R rescued :/. Like. That's such a better way of writing them out cuz a. It gives Poe even more incentive to want to take down the chameleon B. It makes the chameleon a much more threatening villain, cuz all the chameleon does in this movie is push one dude down some stairs, and then bring back so dead ppl, lick them n put them in a cage 🕴️. I would appreciate more stakes. ALSO PO SHOULDV TALKED ABOUT HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH THE 5 MORE, cuz this guy is a yapper, ain't no way he ain't talking bout them. It couldv once again been a way he bonded with the fox, if both of them had looked up to the 5 or something like that, or maybe even just about how Po can't wait to accept the fox into his found family

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: wish they developed po and the foxes friendship. I might hav said this b4, I hav bad memory. Just there could've been more bonding , wish there was but alas 😪

5. Poe s trauma ? Now, I'm a psychology student. I love seeing mental health and depth show in movies so I kno I'm being a bit picky. I just wished that we could see more of Poe coming to terms of all the stuff that has happened to him. Or at least referenceing it. I just think that he was way too jokey and light hearted the whole time. Like, there was a scene where fireworks suddenly went off next to him. I wish he flinched or anything like that, since fireworks were such a big thing (almost a trigger) for him in the first movie because of the mass killing of his species by shen. Like, even if he has gotten over it all, it would have been great to have him reference everything he s been through. It could hav been one of the things he bonded over with the fox, how yes, times get tough but you can get thru it if u r supported by the right people

Like tbh I think it wouldv been rlly cool if this movie focused on love :both the healthy and toxic types. Bringing back old villains can reference old baggage , like the toxic love between tai lung and shi fu, and the chameleon and the fox. It could be about breaking those toxic habits and changing to move past them and let the last go. Po couldv acted as the message of that, he could show his surroundings characters how to let go of the past to move on to a better future . Like, after everything he s been through that wouldv been so impactful.

Overall, just a lot of missed potentials in this movie. Still liked it tho. So here are some things I liked.

Visuals: fun visuals . Tho I do think some of the scenery wasn't as memorable as previous movies. Like comparing this villains hideout (wrong word but oh well) to shens, shens is so much more memorable and impactful. Looking at it you feel intimidated. In this movie, not so much. But it was still very pretty and u can tell some hard work went behind it, had some great animations, very smoothe, so yh :)

VIOLA DAVIS AS THE CHAMELEON 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 LOVE HER, LOVE THE VOICE ACTING JUST 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 like, the chameleon wasn't fleshed out as much as I'd hoped, but I still love her because I can FEEL that's she could be AMAZING cuz everything else was great except for the lack of backstory. Like I love her power, I love her character design, I love her voice .

The gay dad's 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 I loved them. Highlight of the movie for me🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 every scene I saw them I smiled. I just loved them so much, that was so cute, I love how they cared about Po so much AND CARED ABOUT EACH OTHER!! That was so cute. Loved that so much. I would watch an entire movie of them cuz just 🙌🏽🙌🏽 loved them so much.

So yh, that's it. Gonna go rewatch all the other movies now

[lovelytayforce]

Why Oogway from Kung fu panda is the most supportive grandpa and not a huge bitch! And your fave villain is actually a huge bitch! <3

Now, I know what you’re thinking? Why the inflammatory and very obviously vague post? Because it’s being spread everywhere like wildfire and I’m tired of it. We get it, you all love your men like Tai Lung and Kai but they're not the UwU babies you HC them as, and blaming Oogway isn’t making them look cool or cuter. So, without further ado, I, Oogway’s lawyer will step up to this fandom’s unjustified hate for him just cause they got hit with the consequences of their actions. Now, let’s start with the first movie because you people can’t seem to grasp the simple lesson in the film that “Your actions have consequences.” Okay, remember that? It’s very important. And I need you to remember it okay? I’m counting on you! Alright, let’s start with the literal first scene with MR. PING AND PO: Yes, this is important, just stick with me okay? Po asks his father right at the beginning if he ever wanted anything else in his life outside noodles.

He even calls his own dream stupid, and you can see he slightly regrets it in the scene if you watch closely enough. This was the first mistake Ping made, he was repeating a cycle of denying the younger generation of their own dreams and needs without even realizing it. Now, we can actually get to our favorite turtle. Two things we have to talk about before we move on is the fact, this second scene is dedicated to foreshadowing mostly Shifu’s character, every little reaction to Oogway is a means to tell us why Shifu needs to calm down and think before he acts. Remember? “Your actions have consequences.” Now, you're probably looking at the scene like, this was just a funny joke scene but no. Shifu is distressed expecting nothing but the worst news while Oogway is calmly accessing the situation at hand, he doesn’t reprimand Shifu because he knows the pain his friend is going through, he was there for it and stopped it before it could kill him. Shifu here displays everything about the quote below, had he not rushed Oogway and merely listened to the very end he would have understood what to do. 

This is one of the rawest quotes that follow Shifu and his son throughout the first film, they are both avoiding the inevitable, trying to stop what must come. Life doesn’t bend to your will and that’s what Oogway is telling Shifu right here in the present. But what does this dummy do? Try to ruin what Oogway was doing from the get-go. 

Had Shifu not panicked and quickly told Zeng to leave then Tai Lung would have never escaped. IT'S IRONY AND say it with me, the consequences of his actions. Oogway even tells him this in the scene where he reveals it is time to pick the Dragon warrior, and Shifu makes so many assumptions that Oogway never speaks of the legend itself. Shifu makes the Dragon warrior seem bigger than life itself but Oogway never says that. If you haven’t realized: Shifu assumed things. 

He’s not actually seeing the true picture Oogway is laying out for him, he’s just waiting for that big moment, uncaring of how it affects others. (Aka the five cough his own daughter cough and even his own son cough) He’s clouded the water for everyone and only Oogway is the one who sees it for what it is. Oogway does nothing but tries to guide Shifu away from this mentality that not only destroyed his own son but himself in the process, remember the Ping scene I showed you at the beginning This is the same thing. Shifu has done nothing but projects himself onto others and that’s not only an aspect in the films, it was in the short “Secrets of the scroll” too. 

“You must let her grow into what she must be.” - Oogway. This isn’t the first time he's said this to Shifu and surely will not be the last. Shifu is by all means a stubborn character who leans very heavily toward how traditional Kung fu is taught along with its ideals. He focuses on strength, speed, and endurance above all else which is also shown in the film's training course. He does not divert from tradition, just like Ping. Oogway doesn’t hold the same ideals but respects Shifu unconditionally despite their differences. Because he respects and cares for Shifu along with his children. He does the very same with Po, never outright disagreeing because that’s not helpful to them, that won’t allow them to grow as people. Into who they are meant to be. Po goes on and on about how he sucks and Oogway is understanding, he doesn’t say “Oh you’re great just the way you are.” He allows Po to vent the way he wants to and gives him actual support when he needs it most.

Po shouldn’t be concerned with how he sucked today, because he can try again tomorrow and get better as time goes on! And that’s the truth when you start something, especially something as difficult as Kung fu with a teacher who's comfortable bullying someone 40+ years younger than them is HARD. But what Po needs to focus on is the PRESENT. He tells that to EVERYONE. To focus on the now instead of the past or the future, that’s why it’s a gift. Because you can choose who you want to be at that moment. The past is already gone, decided, and written, and the future is uncertain and leaves you with nothing but anxiety at what could be. But right here, right now. You have a choice. And now we get to the main man himself, Tai Lung aka the loser stuck in the past: Now again, you’re probably pausing like “Really man? Calling Tai a loser from the get-go, do you have no shame?” And I reply with a “No, I do not.” Because he is a loser and the film shows that. Very clearly. I know we all love the awesomeness of the escape scene but think about the context of it real quick: This FORTY-YEAR-OLD MAN, let me say this again FORTY YEAR-OLD MAN, was hard-pressed to release himself for one thing and one thing only, The scroll saddled with his revenge for something he was never promised after endangering innocents in the past and then endangering more guards for a scroll. Take that in for a moment. Doesn’t that sound like loser behavior? Don’t you think maybe he could have taken that time to, I don’t know, think about why he wasn’t chosen or if he wanted literally anything else in his life. He had no one to talk to, so he should have been using that noggin’ for something useful but he didn’t. 

Oh, lookie here! It’s ���THE CONSEQUENCES OF SHIFU’S ACTIONS NEGATIVELY AFFECTING THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM!” 

Also, this man is out of his goddamn mind. Like we have to move forward here so we can realize the full delusion in this single frame. But I’m getting off-topic, we have to talk about when he was rightfully denied the scroll. Now we have to note two very important lines here because Tai Lung fans have very selective memories, so we need these screencaps

Okay, that is the first line, the second is Po’s line before this, it’s very clear even to the common folk in the Valley, Tai Lung was an ambitious, selfish, and one-track-minded fella. With the line: “He turned bad and went to jail.” Now, let’s think back for a minute about Oogway’s morals. He supports people who are kind and uplift others even though sometimes they do questionable things, Shifu bullying Po-but that’s for another conversation. But he obviously would not pick someone who is solely focused on such a selfish goal. We all know the scroll is blank, and you have to love and accept yourself for who you are in the present. Tai Lung would not be able to understand much less accept that because he wanted the scroll to change him into something Shifu told him about, not Oogway. Oogway had every right to refuse Tai Lung, that’s his school, his house, his scroll and without him, he and Shifu would be without a roof. Now, remember what I said about Shifu’s beliefs in traditionalism right? You're supposed to listen to your master as they guide you, Shifu albeit a stubborn student and Master, listened to Oogway, and Tai Lung should have followed suit, he grew up there. But no he CHOSE to ruin everyone else's day, and let me show those innocents by the way. 

HE'S LITERALLY ASKING FOR SHIFU TO COMMIT FRAUD! Tai Lung showed what his ambition truly was and Shifu didn’t see until it broke right through him literally, Tai lung doesn’t even hesitate to swat his father aside before going for the scroll before Oogway stops him and spares his life for his old friend, Shifu. Because he cares. Oogway cared about Tai Lung and let him choose who he wanted to be. Remember? Actions have consequences. Tai lung has had two instances of his life where he could have chosen to do better and what did he do? He fucked it up. Just decided to be a bitch ass sore loser instead of bettering himself which is what Kung fu is about, it’s what Po did. But you know, that’s life.  Speaking of, Shifu is mostly at fault for this. I think everyone knows that? Oogway as I said above with the short, tries his best to guide Shifu on his horrid parenting journey but such is life. I’m sure we all know someone who shouldn’t be a parent and if we could we would ban them from being around children in general. Back on topic, Shifu has a problem of not listening to Oogway as we’ve established: - Didn’t listen til he got sick to let Tigress be herself - Bullied Po and didn’t listen until Oogway died - Filled his son and daughter’s heads with untrue folklore of the Dragon warrior missing key elements such as Kindness in the memo… - Also, he tried to “Well, ACK-TUALLY” him in an argument about control. Shifu is not a very bright man. And neither is his son. Po and Ping are a direct mirror to this though in the fact that, unlike Shifu, Mr. Ping stops and realizes his son is in distress about the whole situation and does something special. He tells him the secret ingredient which is nothing but believing something is special because he believes Po is special. Shifu stopped believing in his son, which is why Oogway asked him to promise to believe and even took his meek reply of “I’ll try.” When Shifu and Tai Lung met again they couldn’t mend what Tai Lung destroyed, not even an apology could heal what his son broke inside Shifu. And Oogway knew this. Because you can’t force a peach tree to grow into anything else but what it was meant to be. No one in the Jade Palace was meant to be the dragon warrior, they should have been training for themselves but they followed Shifu. Nothing was ever promised to anyone. And again, that’s the beauty of life, you can change. Every day you change, every time you look into that blank scroll you see every little change you worked for and some you got along the way figuring it out. Tai lung does not have that though, all he has is Kung fu and that’s Shifu’s fault. Not Oogway’s, you cannot blame someone who never promised you a thing and simply told you no. You have to move on.  Tai Lung even naively states, he only thought of Shifu’s opinion, never the Master who bestows the scroll itself. He was not in the present, all he wanted was the future he was never promised and blamed everyone else for it and hurt his own father, in the process. Not once, but twice. Shifu only admitted Tai lung was not meant to be the Dragon warrior and that it was never his decision to make and even goes so far as to ask Shifu to falsify the results of who the Dragon warrior is. Shifu was too late in allowing his son to dream. Oogway had nothing to do with any of their dramas. They decided to push themselves so far instead of cherishing the present. And that’s why Oogway is the best grandpa because he doesn’t force his ideals down your throat because he listens to your troubles without downplaying how bad you feel because he believes in the power of change that we all have but accepts we don’t always take the right path. That is the true gift. The gift of change. As for Kai um idc, he was stealing people’s chi, aka killing them, and being a horrible person to people who helped Oogway in his darkest hour, so fuck him. I still love his theme but again, Kai’s actions caught up with him and he caught them tortoise's hands for being an asshole.  Bye~! Also, Shen's a bitch too.

[oblivious-aro]

I remember you saying you had some thoughts on Morro being a less effective version of Tai Lung from the Kung Fu Panda movie. Do you have any more thoughts on that :o

Quick introduction, both Morro and Tai Lung are students who turned evil much to the of their old teachers (Wu and Shifu respectively). If you watched Kung Fu Panda 609 times as a child like me, you probably caught on that Morro's character was taken whole cloth from Tai Lung.

Now let's get into the details!

So Tai Lung and Morro have two parts to their character: the threat/villain aspects, and the tragic relationship/falling out with their mentor.

As a villain, Morro works pretty well. Possessing Lloyd establishes him as a threat both emotionally and power wise, since he's taken someone the ninja care for deeply and robbed them of their most powerful member in one swoop. I always kind of thought of him as the dark version of Lloyd, but he’s really more of a “What season 1 Kai could've been”, further supported by Kai's unyielding determination to protect Lloyd this season, contrasted against Morro literally using Lloyd as an actual meat puppet and casually threatening to kill Lloyd to get what he wants.

He’s threatening, hateable, and thematically appropriate as a villain.

As for his “tragic” relationship with Wu, well…despite general fandom opinion, it's actually pretty weak.

Tai Lung's screen time is dedicated to building up how powerful of a threat he is, outside of two key scenes that establish and build on his relationship with Shifu. The first is a flashback that happens somewhere around the half point of the movie. Reveling that Tai Lung was groomed to work his entire life for a role he ends up being denied point-blank recontextualizes the audience's feelings about Tai Lung. Up to that point he was presented as just some dangerously power-hungry villain, but now that the audience knows that Shifu has a personal connection to Tai Lung, and that changes their feelings on both of them.

The second relationship-focused scene is the penultimate fight between Tai Lung and Shifu. Before the combat, the two of them have a conversation that is just loaded with tension, and that tension stays prominent for the rest of the fight. The audience obviously doesn’t want Tai Lung to win, but watching Shifu attempt to take down the child he raised with his whole heart doesn’t exactly feel all sunshiny. Everything from the dialogue to the dark and rainy atmosphere (later heavily contrasted against Po’s triumphant fight in the rising sun) is meant to emphasize the heaviness and tragedy of the fight, building the flashback and Shifu's character growth to twist the knife in the audience's heart.

On the surface, Morro works similarly, spending the majority of his screen time being built up as someone that needs to be stopped, outside of two scenes that focus on his relationship with Wu. While Tai Lung's flashback happens in the middle of the movie, Morro's is told in the second episode of the season. Changing the timing of the flashback changes the effect it has on the audience. Instead of establishing an evil scary guy and then going ‘oh wait, there’s also this other important aspect to him’, we see the more human (literally) side of Morro almost straight away and then spend the remaining 80% of the season showing how evil he is. If Morro’s backstory garnered any sympathy from the audience, it will inevitably be overshadowed by the proceding 8 episodes of Morro doing nothing but make selfish choices. Doing Morro's flashback earlier has the exact opposite effect that Tai Lung's flashback had on his story.

Also worth noting that while a large part of Shifu’s characterization comes from his hand in Tai Lung’s fall (his cold relationship with his new students, his need for control, etc), Ninjago shifts the fault more so onto Morro as a person:

Wu: After I told him he could be the Green Ninja, there was a hunger unmatched.

Morro: (He kicks some of the other trainees, making them fall. Aggressively) Get up. Get up!

Wu: Enough.

Morro: But Sensei, I'm gonna be the Green Ninja. I need greater tests.

Wu: I said, enough!

Kung Fu Panda meanwhile feels no need to shy away from the idea of Tai Lung's actions being the result of Shifu's failure as a teacher. In fact, it embraces it:

Tai Lung: Not your fault!? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny!?

...

Shifu: I...I have always been...proud of you. From the first moment I've been proud of you. And it was my pride...that blinded me. I loved you too much too see what you were becoming...what I was turning you into...I'm s-...I'm sorry...

Ninjago doesn’t completely kill the vibes, it’s still understandable that Wu would be sad a student of his didn’t turn out well, but lessening the responsibility Wu’s bears for the way Morro turned out gives their relationship a lot less weight than Shifu and Tai Lung’s, and lessens the impact their relationship had on Wu’s character compared to Shifu’s. They do retroactively imply Morro's reaction was the reason Wu never told his new students about the green ninja prophecy, which is kind of neat, but Wu doesn't really seem to be affected by his relationship with Morro beyond that.

They're not showcasing Wu being affected by the soured relationship, or building up any kind of emotional conflict about having to oppose his old student. The fact that this season's antagonist is Morro doesn't make Wu behave any differently than he would with any other run-of-the-mill Ninjago villain.

Shifu's character, as I mentioned earlier, is felt in pretty much every moment he's on screen. You can feel his fear of history repeating itself in everything from how frugal he is with praise for his students, to the sheer panic in his voice anytime he and Oogway talk about Tai Lung returning.

In fairness to Ninjago, Shifu was a character made entirely for that movie and nothing else, so his character was built from the ground up with his relationship with his student in mind for the whole process, while Wu is an already existing character in an establised franchise (that's also on a much smaller budget than a Dreamworks movie *ahem*), but they aren't really trying to build up the relationship between Wu and Morro outside over the course of Posession at all, outside of the two specific scenes I mentioned.

Speaking of, there’s the final scene between mentor and student that both charaters share. For Tai Lung, this was a fight, and for Morro, it's a redemption, and I don't think the writers considered how that key difference would affect Morro's story very deeply. Morro and Tai Lung follow the same structure of building up how evil and threatening they are until their ultimate defeat, and since Tai Lung’s story wasn’t building towards redemption, neither does Morro’s. This is fine for Tai Lung, because the emotional climax of his story is acceptance of the tragedy that his and Shifu’s shattered relationship is completely and totally beyond mending. Not only that, but it mainly takes place over a fight. It makes sense to just continuously ramp up Tai Lung’s threat level.

Morro on the other hand, completely switches sides at the last possible second of both his life and the season. With no buildup, his redemption feels very sudden and insincere. This guy who’s been plotting around the same obsession he had as a child for decades, kidnapped and possessed a child, put in the work to literally rewrite destiny, and made deals with satan/hell herself just decided “Actually I’m good now okay byeeeeeee!” in the space of two seconds?

Tai Lung and Shifu’s fight crushes your soul a little. Morro’s redemption just leaves you going “I guess that happened?”

They ripped off Tai Lung and only got him half-right.

[rex101111]

The Croods is such a weird couple of movies.

The first is like a pretty standard family animated movie from the new-tens; animated well enough, a few funny jokes, kinda annoying main characters...and then, in the last thirty minutes or so of the movie, mid fucking scene, its like DW woke up in the middle of production and remembered “OH WAIT A DAMN MINUTE WE MADE KUNG FU FUCKING PANDA WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS” and then The Freaking Croods has the nerve, the audacity, the temerity, to suddenly become a deeply emotional movie about family and the fear of losing those you care about to the point of pushing them away and its so fucking jarring but it fucking works.

And then The Croods 2 is just riding the wave of those last thirty minutes, seven freaking years after the fact, and is just. A really good, really emotional, really freaking funny movie I’ve seen in a while. Also, two songs during the credits are sung by Tenacious D so that automatically makes it one of the best movies ever made.

....im gonna go watch the series now, fuck it. 

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Kung Fu Panda 3

Alas, we have reached the end of the beloved Kung Fu Panda saga (at least until later this year when 4 comes out). I remember seeing this when it first came out, but much like the rest of the series, I didn't remember much about it going in. I did have a few minor issues with 2 during this watch through, so how does 3 hold up?

We pick up with Po and the Furious Five facing another new threat, an old peer of Master Oogway's, the spirit warrior Kai, who is determined to steal chi from all of the masters across China. Amidst this, Po reunites with his birth father, Li, who takes Po back to the hidden panda village, promising to teach him to use the power of chi he needs to properly confront Kai. Throw in a jealous, but well-meaning Mr. Ping, a village full of lovable new panda characters, and a plot about learning to become your best self and embracing who you are, and we result in an utterly beautiful movie with a touching and fantastic story to tell.

So yeah, I loved the hell out of this one. I still think the first Kung Fu Panda is my favorite of the series, it's just so beautiful in its simplicity and its message really spoke to me. But this one is also fantastic, with a lot more focus on the characters and the emotions this time around. Po is always a great character to follow; he's so fun and lovable and I love to see him come into his own as we round out his arc throughout the entire series in such a wonderful way. The Furious Five also get some much needed personality in here, with lots of great quips and jokes from them and Shifu alike. Mr. Ping gets some great focus, I always liked him in the first two movies, and he's just as much of a hilarious sweetheart here too.

As for our new characters, Li is a great addition to the cast; I love how he bonds so wonderfully with Po and they develop such a sweet father/son relationship that's put to the test when a certain revelation happens towards the middle of the movie, one that you can't even blame him for because he just doesn't want to lose his son again. The rest of the pandas are also a lot of fun, very silly and cute and not overstaying their welcome. Kai is SUCH a fun villain too! I will stand by my opinion that this series has consistantly great baddies, probably some of the best Dreamworks has to offer. Kai is hella intimidating, but he also has some hilarious moments too, courtesy of J.K. Simmons bringing his all to the role.

The animation here is next level. Like seriously, this franchise is consistently beautiful, but this one is just gorgeous. There were some moments in here that just made my jaw drop with how utterly pretty they are. The colors are so vibrant, the locations so lively, the characters move so fluidly, especially in fight scenes, and the stylization is so utterly well done that you can just tell so much love and care was put into every last frame. The music is also INSANE. Like seriously, Kai's theme alone goes so damn hard when it doesn't have to, and the rest of the score is so fucking beautiful man, I'm gonna have to listen to it while writing or drawing at some point just to soak it in by itself.

While not as emotionally impactful to me personally as say, HTTYD2, I still got a little choked up at some points here, especially during the climax and its aftermath. The movie also excells with its comedy, with a lot of really fun little jokes thrown in throughout. Overall, I feel like this movie tops Kung Fu Panda 2 because it just feels more... I don't know, focused? Like it doesn't meander and spend so much time on action scenes, it has plenty of that yes, but it also has so many solid character interactions as well. And I loved every second of it.

It's bittersweet to be bidding my second favorite Dreamworks franchise farewell as far as this watchthrough goes, but at least it's going out on an absolute high note (again, for now). Maybe I'll do a drive by review of Kung Fu Panda 4 when I see it, idk how to feel about it based on just the trailers alone, so I'll reserve judgement till then. As for Kung Fu Panda 3, well... it's a masterpiece. Simply put.

Overall Rating: 10/10

Verdict: Oh, to be an asexual panda with two dads

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

I think I speak for everyone when I say that Jack Black is awesome. Ever since the one-two punch of 2008’s Kung Fu Panda and Tropic Thunder, Black has steadily seen himself rise to becoming a wacky and near universally beloved cultural icon, with zany YouTube videos and roles such as the gay psychic viking musician Helmut Fullbear in Psychonauts 2 and fucking Bowser of all people in The Super Mario Bros. Movie fully cementing his status as one of the most fun actors working today. But this sort of adoration wasn’t always the case.

Sure, everyone loved School of Rock and Tenacious D had a solid stoner buddy comedy film and some amusing songs, but Black’s career prior to the 2010s was pretty spotty and filled with bad and disposable comedies; there’s a reason he’ s playing the character stuck in a rut of making nothing but flatulent fat joke comedy movies in Tropic Thunder, after all. He still had some speedbumps to overcome before he’d reach Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and Goosebumps even after his well-received 2008 films, and after starring in a film in 2009 that ended Harold Ramis’ career (and that I’m sure you’ll all vote for me to rewatch eventually), he made a pit stop in 2010 to dent his own career… but it wasn’t just him who suffered thanks to Gulliver’s Travels.

You see, this movie has an interesting bit of trivia to it that s likely the only reason it’s even vaguely remembered at all. Emily Blunt was contractually obligated to star in this film as a result of starring in The Devil Wears Prada, which on its own isn’t all too interesting… But because of this, she had to skip out on being Black Widow in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While Iron Man 2 wouldn’t have been better with her in it, the MCU as a whole might have benefited from having an actress as good as her as the first superheroine in the franchise. Maybe we could have even gotten a Black Widow movie sooner, and with less awful villains and terrible CGI!

This is all the film gets remembered for today, if it’s remembered at all: A footnote for the MCU, and one that hurt the careers of its lead actors for a couple of years until they were able to bounce back with more critically-acclaimed films. At best, those into more niche and obscure media might know that this films has a lot of material reworked from a scrapped adaptation of the Prometheus and Bob shorts from Nickelodeon’s KaBlam! It can’t even be remembered as some ridiculously huge bomb, because even with it making less than half its budget back domestically, internationally it managed to double it!

So hey, maybe those international audiences were on to something. Sure, it was critically reviled but it was also successful overseas, so maybe other countries knew something we didn’t here in America. Is Gulliver’s Travels really that bad, or is this a hidden Jack Black gem that America was too hard on?

THE GOOD

I think what really surprised me the most is the set design and costumes. Maybe I’ve just been absolutely poisoned by the non-stop onslaught of CGI as of late, but it was really nice to see some actual sets, actual costumes, and actual effort on display in a movie, even if it wasn’t the most amazing thing out there.

The film also has some very fun sequences, all of them obviously revolving around Jack Black. There’s the scene where he has to put out a fire and, uh, uses his natural hose to extinguish the flame (which is apparently lifted directly from the original book), which manages to be one of the only funny pee jokes in human history thanks to James Corden becoming doused in urine; there’s a scene where JB has to defeat an armada of ships and manages to do it with an accidental counter attack that eerily manages to foreshadow the climax of Kung Fu Panda 2; and there’s a scene where JB is banished to an island where he is kidnapped by a giant girl and turned into a doll in her dollhouse. Fun sequences like this make full use of the world the film has created.

Also, yes, it’s a bit dumb and cringey how one of the major conflicts in the film is solved by Jack Black randomly breaking out into a musical number, but if you’re gonna pay for Jack Black you gotta get him to sing. This one time, I’ll let the corny dance party ending slide—but it’s on thin fucking ice.

THE BAD

I mean, with both James Corden and T.J. Miller in the film, it’s no surprise there’s plenty of suckiness to the proceedings.

I think the main issue is that the film is too short and doesn’t really do enough with its premise. Now, I’m no expert on the book this is loosely adapting seeing as I’ve never read it, but I feel like they could have done more than just liberally adapt elements for a silly family film, and I also think eighty minutes isn’t nearly enough time to really delve into things. And even having never read it, this is taking one of the greatest pieces of classic literature written by one of history’s sharpest satirists (Johnathan Swift, he of A Modest Proposal fame) and turned it into a wacky vehicle for Jack Black. It’s kind of hard not to feel a bit bitter we didn’t get a straighter modernized adaptation instead of a wacky family film.

Aside from that, though, the worst I can say is that some of the humor is pretty dorky or cringey, and that not a lot of performances really stand out. The former is to be expected from a silly family film like this, but the latter is pretty damn shocking considering the massive amounts of talent in this film. Black is having fun, but his hamming doesn’t always land, nor does his oversaturation of pop culture references; Emily Blunt and Jason Segel are okay, but they feel a bit overplayed and underplayed, respectively; Billy Connolly is barely even trying as the king, but it’s not like he’s given good material; and the rest of the cast are perfectly serviceable but not exactly standout. Everything is just okay (even Corden and Miller, but I hate them so let’s just say they suck).

I think my biggest issue is that even if nothing is done offensively badly here, the film’s story is packed far too tightly with the most expected family film cliches you can imagine. You’ve got a really basic “liar revealed” plot at the core, you have the character getting bad romantic advice from his friend that leads to a third act breakup with his love interest, you have the most shallow romantic arc in the world beside that with one of the most unrealistic reactions you could ever imagine from a woman who has been repeatedly lied to by the guy crushing on her… It’s just really tired and sloppy. You have seen all the plot points here in a dozen better films.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Maybe it’s just because I was expecting a lot worse, but I honestly found this film to be kind of charming.

Like, sure, it’s not really anything special. It’s just a goofy Jack Black family film, and as far as those go it’s definitely nothing compared to Nacho Libre. But it doesn’t really overstay its welcome, it has a few chuckles, Black gets to sing, and James Corden gets doused in piss, so I can’t say I didn’t find some enjoyment in it. It’s a silly little disposable bit of fluff that’s fun to watch once and maybe put on in the background if you need some noise, and there’s a place for films like that in this world.

But, you know, I kind of get why audiences didn’t vibe with this. Nothing in this movie is as offensively bad as a lot of other family fantasy films of the time, but there’s nothing that really stands out here either. You’ve got some cool scenes, cool ideas, and Jack Black hamming it up, but none of it really ever gels into something great. This is a completely average, somewhat enjoyable, and kind of forgettable film, and I completely understand why it has faded from the public consciousness besides being a bit of MCU trivia. It’s not offensive or bad enough to really bring out intense emotion, but it isn’t good enough to gush about, and Jack Black has been in so many better roles lately that utilize the traits this film is banking on far better that it’s hard to recommend this unless you’re really curious or bored.

That 4.9 is pretty harsh though, honestly. I gave it a 6, mostly because I just found the whole thing endearingly dorky, but realistically I’d say maybe in the mid to high 5 range is where this movie belongs. It’s got plenty of cringey moments and it’s not really mind-blowing, with it relying far too much on cliché plot elements you see in a lot of bargain bin family films, but I think there’s just enough effort on display here to make this a passable viewing experience. As far as corny Jack Black movies go, you could be doing a lot worse than watching this one.

A lot worse.

[ben-talks-art]

Puss in Boots the last Wish is a great way to start 2023!

Finally got to see the new Puss in Boots movie after hearing everyone talking about how much they loved the heck out of it and after being more than sold in this new Spider-Verse/ Arcane/ Bad Guys style of animation that mixes 2D and 3D in such an imaginative way.

There was a part of me that was admittedly a little bit skeptical and went into this going "Okay, then, movie, impress me... If you dare!"

And... Yeah, everyone was right. This movie is freaking awesome!

While I don't think everyone is going to be blown away by the story, there is one element that I'm pretty sure we all can agree was handled perfectly...

This movie feels like a spectacle!

The way characters move, the way they talk, the way they interact, the way they are simply introduced into a scene, everything feels like it's trying to give the experience of a show to the audience.

Like for instance, the very first action scene. At first you think it's going to be this very simple and fun tiny thing, but then it keeps escalating and becoming more and more epic as it goes on. It goes bigger, the action gets faster, the music gets louder, and you just keep getting into the mood as if you were there yourself and rooting for the hero.

It does such a great job sucking you into the hype.

That's really the best word for it. The hype just feels real. When the move wants you to feel like you're in a party, you feel like you're in a party, and when it wants you to feel like you're in danger you feel like you're in danger.

The emotions transmit so well through the imagery and the animation. You just feel like you're Puss in Boots fighting all these enemies, running for your life, traveling through these dangerous locations and connecting with these people.

It reminds me a lot of the Kung Fu Panda movies whenever they do a montage scene

Imagine a whole movie done like this, taking full advantage of the animated stylized visual storytelling!

Another thing I really like is the way they incorporate personality into the actions of each character.

For instance, there is a scene where one of the villains needs to place a glass ball into his bag, but instead of just putting it in he launches it as if it was a bowling ball. There is another where one is talking with her family while jumping on top of a bunch of bears, and the way she jumps from one to another just looks so much fun.

Everyone in this movie feels like they are always having fun, always enjoying every second of being who they are. And the one who looks like he's having the most fun is the main bad guy who, I'm just gonna say, It's probably Dreamworks' best villain since Shen.

(In case you haven't noticed it, I'm not actually going to spoil any imagery of this movie because everything here looks way too good and it deserves to be experienced blind)

This villain is so freaking badass! His voice is badass! His design is badass! His motivation is badass! And the way he interacts with Puss!

I'm so glad they remembered that their best villains were Shen and Ramses and the reason they are so great is because they actually have a connection with the heroes.

This dude's interactions with Puss are cool, scary, intense, and at the same time still feel justified, you totally get where he's coming from, which honestly makes him even more of a threat because you know he's right.

This is such a fun, hype, cool, and awesome spectacle of a movie!

Even if the writing and the story aren't that outstanding (personally I feel they could have used some better jokes, but oh well), the style more than makes up for it.

I had a great time and highly recommend it! I want to see more of this from Dreamworks! I would be immensely happy if they just reformed themselves as the 2D/3D mixed company.

You know they want to anyway. They always loved putting 2D stuff in their 3D movies, just let them make this their new home.

Spider-Verse was awesome. Arcane was awesome. Bad Guys was awesome. And now Puss in Boots is awesome too! Give us more!

[grayzeppelin281]

Hey, I have a few questions about the relationships between the characters, as I promised at the last writer ask game...

1. 🔥Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

2. I know that Prince Huoju and Phantom were very close to each other. But what exactly are their relationship? Is it a one-sided adoration and idolizing by Phantom? Or are those two actually in love with each other? If it is, how close were they? just having feelings towards each others or close enough to... mate?

3. Lao and Hong were described as a couple in your story. But since Lao is married with Lady Huiliang. So,what happened between them? If they broke up, how did they?(did one of them tell the other, or did they silently ended it without a word?)

And the most important question...

4. What is the relationship between Po and Tigress in your story? Are they just friends like the canon? I know that Po wrote love letters to Tigress, then is it a one-sided crush by Po? Or are they in love with each other? If it is, how close are they? just having feelings towards each others or close enough to... mate?

Okay! I'll answer some questions!

1. 🔥Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

Nope! My books are safe for the general audience. So. . . That's a quick pass.

2. I know that Prince Huoju and Phantom were very close to each other. But what exactly are their relationship? Is it a one-sided adoration and idolizing by Phantom? Or are those two actually in love with each other? If it is, how close were they? just having feelings towards each others or close enough to... mate?

My baddies are (platonic) mates. What started their relationship, Huoju found her (a cub) in a cave, where a group of Huns from Mongolia were attempting to kill Mingling. While I am terrible at romance (I am only good at writing friendship), Mingling has her idol to loving her only Huoju (her hero). Despite the beliefs in fighting for what Mingling could imagine, aside the revenge and hatred with her whole life, slaughtering people without mercy, she has been with the Prince of Darkness for centuries (when a mystery caused her age to be immortality, being a shaman).

3. Lao and Hong were described as a couple in your story. But since Lao is married with Lady Huiliang. So,what happened between them? If they broke up, how did they?(did one of them tell the other, or did they silently end it without a word?)

Of course. . . I nearly forgot about that one.

Hong had her insanity idea to marry one who actually cares. Both of my characters are friends. I think Hong would have wanted Lao to find a lady who is more lovely and spiritual than crazy. Besides, I believe their platonic relationship is ironic, but Hong and Lao are good companions.

They'll likely speak with each other again after his marriage.

4. What is the relationship between Po and Tigress in your story?  Are they just friends like the canon? I know that Po wrote love letters to Tigress, then is it a one-sided crush by Po? Or are they in love with each other? If it is, how close are they? just having feelings towards each other or close enough to... mate?

Their relationship, my fellow reader(s), is friendship. If I remember well from my first book (planning to rewrite and edit A New Prophecy), Po used to write a letter to one of his closest companions that he truly meant to him. Tigress became caring with the panda after Po defeated Tai Lung, thought she was wrong about him, despite jealousy impacted her. She was almost going to be chosen as the Dragon Warrior, but instead, she's proven to be an honorable fighter than reflecting the scroll to greedy (Tai Lung).

(To be open-minded, you have to understand that when you have proven yourself worthy, with all the hard work you have achieved many years, you look at the Dragon Scroll and see yourself. No riddles, no secrets of Kung Fu, no secret ingredient, just you.)

Ever since Shen happened, at the factory, Tigress saw Po get shot from the cannon and blast away (and survived). Even that she has those who are encouraging, unlike her skills that the Five are capable of (Thanks to Po, who replaced the scroll with a list of four ideas than Shifu's red panda warriors. Secrets of the Scroll), she nearly lost Po, who cares Tigress.

With their friendship, I say both Tigress and Po are close friends.

That's all the answer I can get! Thanks, Righteous!

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 9/2021) - Roses and Blood Vines

One day remains before Ponk’s attack. Ponk gives Foolish another warning, another chance to join the Egg. Foolish still says no.

Hannah returns from a five-day journey feeling sickened by something. The Blood Vines have crept onto her house... 

Something has to be done.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Tubbo

Foolish

Ranboo

Hannah

Karl

Eret

Captain Puffy

---

- Ponk makes his way through the Nether to the Temple of Undying. He surveys the place, wondering what to blow up first.

- He scouts through the chests, taking some diamonds here and there.

- Ponk places a few pieces of TNT in Foolish’s snake statue as a warning and heads back.

- Foolish joins the call, Ponk now at the Oogway Shrine.

Ponk: “Foolish...you know that time is ticking, right?”

Ponk: “Are you familiar with the hourglass parable?”

Foolish: “No, I am not.”

Ponk: “Me neither, but an hourglass has lots of sand in it, right?”

- Ponk starts talking through the Egg

“Hello, Foolish...the time is ticking...blood, fire and explosions will happen. You’re going to die, Foolish, if you don’t join me. DEATH.”

Foolish: “You speak of my summer home?”

“Your summer home will be no more.”

Foolish: “We’ll see about that.”

“Tick-tock goes the clock.”

- Ponk abruptly switches back to his normal voice and starts talking to Foolish about that scene in Kung Fu Panda where Oogway paralyzes the leopard guy  by poking him, and the leopard guy broke out of prison to defeat the five people

- Foolish asks if there’s a meaning to this. Ponk tells him he stole all of his music discs and put TNT in their place.

- Ponk says to be careful about the tripwires he put. Foolish says that with his emerald eyes, he will see through them.

- They go back and forth about preparations and Ponk’s plan. Ponk tries to convince Foolish that actually, he already blew it up (he didn’t)

Ponk: “Look, Foolish...I’m here to offer you another chance, okay? You can join the Egg, be a happy family, y’know? You can be a god, but you have to serve the Egg...”

Foolish: “You see, Ponk, I think the Egg will lead to heartbreak. Misery. Regret. And then death.”

Ponk: “Remember, Foolish, remember...you can never save a life. You can always prolong it.”

Foolish: “I might disagree with that...but that’s for another time.”

- They get distracted by Skeppy’s prank on the mansion

- Ponk goes to an Ender Chest and shows Foolish its contents. Foolish is outraged that Ponk actually took all his discs -- even Pigstep!

- Ponk shows Foolish the Wall of Pog Women

- The subject goes back to the Egg. Ponk asks again if he wants to join the Egg. Foolish says no.

Foolish: “I don’t think the Egg is good for anyone, and you know? The Egg may not even need you guys! The moment the Egg has enough power, it’ll toss you all aside like the little ants you are.”

- They start talking about cats

- Ponk meets Foolish down at the spider spawner and attempts his Technoblade-killing tactic on him.

- Ponk continues to prepare

- Foolish is still working on Tubbo and Ranboo’s mansion

- He goes to see Michelle in Snowchester. He ponders how strange their family is. A sheep pirate, a totem-part-shark and his totem son, an undead zombie piglin baby, the other brother -- a green blob?

“Nice meeting you, Michelle...um, yeah. Hopefully you never meet Dream.”

“...Just your average Minecraft family...”

(More “Schrödinger’s canon” family dynamics for now, but this is the moment the Wiki is referencing if you were wondering)

- Foolish continues work on the mansion

- Hannah heads back to the main Dream SMP area

- She’s been trying to make the server more beautiful, adding trees, flowers, natural things. But she was off picking flowers for the main pathway when she woke up with extreme nausea. She could barely walk.

- It’s finally time. Something is pulling her back.

Hannah: “It’s definitely time to bring spring to the server. This server is so, so messed up. There’s not enough trees, there’s not enough flowers, there’s not enough anything, especially in the main area."

- The only thing keeping her strong -- alive -- are the rose flowers. It took her two days to find the strength to walk back.

- Hannah starts planting flowers everywhere. The pathway is deteriorated, there are no trees, no flowers, not enough natural fauna that weren’t planted by the people. Her flowers have been picked and turned to dye by people. She needs more flowers to stay strong.

- She sees her house has been covered in Blood Vines. She suspects the Blood Vines have been eating up some of her rose flowers. All of it has to go. She doesn’t know who or what this is, but she believes it’s trying to kill her.

- Sam (and Tubbo disguised as Ranboo) arrive, and Hannah speaks with Sam about her house. Sam was coming to clean up the bank site.

- Sam helps Hannah start to clear off the Vines.

- A cow gets in the way. Hannah says it must be contaminated and kills it.

- All of a sudden, Sam shouts to not break anymore. Hannah looks and Bad and Antfrost have arrived.

- Bad says he thought Hannah was a supporter of plants. They don’t see why Hannah needs to clear the Vines away. Hannah and Sam insist they’re just trimming, doing some landscaping because Hannah is allergic.

- Bad and Ant suggest testing? They can take Hannah to a place with a large concentration of Vines and see if they have any effect. 

- Hannah says she’s willing to try. Sam tells Hannah he can’t go down there again. They tell Bad and Ant -- Hannah will try it while Sam takes a trip to the Nether. Sam whispers to Hannah that while they’re gone, Sam is going to clear the rest of the Vines in secret.

- Bad and Antfrost admire the Vines in Hannah’s house. Even the dogs seem to like it. Hannah promptly kills the dogs to put them out of their misery.

- Bad and Antfrost take Hannah down to the Egg Room. Hannah puts down a rose to help, but they destroy it. They tell her that the Egg likes her.

- They make her a “seat” (box) of black concrete and say she should stay there for “exposure therapy.”  They convince her to put her items in an Ender Chest even as she’s having doubts, and leave her alone there. 

- Hannah thought she had no enemies on this server, but she may have made a mistake.

- Karl wakes up in his library. He hangs up the poster for “The Haunted Mansion” and writes the Tale down.

- He writes his next diary entry. He feels confused. He doesn’t know who to trust anymore. At least the Inbetween seems like a genuinely peaceful place, but there were those books warning him about it.

- He decides he needs to get into that portal the next time he visits the Inbetween.

- His memory is getting worse. He needs to tell his friends the stories, but worries he won’t have any at this rate.

- Bad and Sapnap arrive to Kinoko. Karl wants to get new members.

- Sapnap kills Bad, sending him back.

Bad: “What have I told you about playing with fire there, son?”

- Karl plans to spread out advertisements about Kinoko.

- Foolish and HBomb arrive.

- They go to the Holy Land to put up posters.

- George arrives and they all decide to put up a massive poster in front of the prison, where the mining fatigue will make the blocks harder to get rid of. Bad protests this as a prison guard.

- They do it anyway

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[konaizumi]

Bad Buddy ep 3 thoughts/reaction

like 30 secs in and they already confirm that pran had a crush on pat in high school, like it seemed kinda obvious but i wasn’t sure they’d actually do it

i get why pat’s first idea for the guitar pick was the id but why did this idiot actually go through with it

also who wants to bet that pran still has the pick with pat’s face, i’m surprised he didn’t pull it out at some point in this episode but maybe next week when he actually sits down to play the guitar

i am very hungry and those noodles look so fucking right now

im sorry i made another post about it but all i could think about was that chopstick fight scene in kung fu panda when patpran were fighting with the chopsticks

also i can’t believe neat freak pran would actually eat the dumpling that had been in pat’s mouth

pran’s when pat said he actually was waiting for him

hey, a product placement that didn’t make me want to cringe

i would just like to commend p’aof, ohm, and nanon for delivering this teasing/flirting dynamic really well where they act antagonistic to each other but they clearly really enjoy fighting with each other, it’s one of my favorite dynamics and it’s just really well done in this series

me: oh wow, pran offering the fist bump first? that’s so sweet and another step in their friendship:

pran: nope 🖕

(it was iconic though)

but damn pran has it so bad, not that pat doesn’t but pat doesn’t know it yet

you guys started it by being dicks to wai when he was working and couldn’t fight back, you don’t even need to count the video

you can tell this story is fiction bc the school only punishes the instigators as if they give a fuck

the idea of pran, pat, and pa just casually being friends before while the parents are having this intense rivalry is so funny to me

nanon is just the best at facial expressions

why is pran doing all the work when he wasn’t even a part of the fight? like i get wanting to help his friends but he’s literally just doing everything?

i’m glad pran is calling pat out for participating in bullying wai, it kinda pissed me off last ep

i wish people in my library were that apologetic when they made noise

also pat throwing the flyer as a paper airplane bc he knew pran wouldn’t listen to him is cute

look at them all fancy with their ties and proper uniforms

pran acting annoyed but he’s actually pleased to have pat with him for the presentation

yes pat i do think you want to be that close to him

pat just zoning out in the elevator is such a mood

can’t believe pran left a whole ass guitar behind when he transferred schools, that shit’s expensive

who the fuck is chai? am i supposed to remember him?

pat: *just thinking about who he can trick into doing his laundry*

pran: *gay panicking*

pran is trying so hard to deny their friendship because of his feelings

i’ve been thinking this since ep 1 but engineering and architecture are such complimentary majors for them to choose so it’s exciting to see them actually work together

also exciting to see students actually do work from their field, it’s the same feeling as tian making the chair or explaining the airplane in atots

patpran subverting the wifey/weird male/female binary in a gay relationship trope by making jokes about it

it’s they way they can’t hold back their smiles while acting out the scenario

“drink from the drainpipe” lmao, he looked so earnest too

you just knew pran was gonna spill the drink on him

i hope sarcastically calling each other honey when they’re mad at each other becomes their thing

i thought they were gonna go the stereotypical route of a school fundraiser or smth

pat tricking his friends into helping was actually very smart

i hope we get to see them all becoming friends now, though i have a feeling there’s gonna be at least one more big fight for plot purposes

i knew pat prob had the guitar when he told pran he should look for it but he just??? had it in his closet??? like he had no idea that he would ever even see pran again but he brought the guitar to college? there’s not het explanation for this

this is why you don’t pace in front of a door with a peephole in it

pat 100% def did not try to sell the guitar

pls p’aof, i would give anything for them to have to perform together in the contest

pat and pran both def had some sort a realization sitting in that hallway

next ep preview: not much to say about it other than it looks fun

another slam dunk of an episode, gmmtv just needs p’aof to direct all their bls going forward, ohm and nanon’s chemistry is just so good, can’t wait for next week

[a34trgv2]

Why It Worked: Kung Fu Panda 2

Introduction: Kung Fu Panda 2 is an animated action comedy and the sequel to Kung Fu Panda. Released on May 26, 2011, the film stars Jack Black, James Hong, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Seth Rogan, David Cross, Lucy Liu and Dustin Hoffman reprising their roles as Po, Ping Tigress, Monkey, Mantis, Crane, Viper and Shifu respectively. Additionally, this film features the voice talents of Gary Oldman, Michelle Yeoh, Danny McBride, Dennis Haysbert, and Jean-Claude Van Damme as Lord Shen, the Soothsayer, the Wolf Boss, Master Storming Ox and Master Croc. The film recieved positive reviews, though generally critics prefered the first one over the second. According to Rotten Tomatoes, 81% out of 182 critics aggregated gave positive reviews with an average score of 6.91/10. Even still, the film was a box office success, earning $165.2 million domestically and $500.4 million from other countries, bringing the worldwide total to $665.7 million. Since the films release, the film has been hailed as one of the greatest sequels ever made, animated or otherwise. Having rewatched over and over for the past decade now (feel old yet?), I definitely agree that this has all the hallmarks of a great sequel and definitely stands toe to toe with the likes of Terminator 2, The Dark Knight, and Toy Story 2 when it comes to outstanding sequels. So without wasting any more precious time, let's dive in to what makes Kung Fu Panda 2 even more awesome than the first one (leave a comment if you remember when Jack Black made that promise at the 2009 Kids Choice Awards).

The Plot: Lord Shen creates a new weapon that's capable of taking out kung fu masters with a single blow. As Po and the Furious 5 set out to stop this dastardly villain, Po learns more about his past and how to find inner peace. After the opening done in the style of Chinese shadow puppets, the film takes its time setting up the main conflict of the film, which goes much deeper into the vulnerable side of Po than the first. The film explores the feelings of pain, anger and trauma in a blunt and honest manner, letting moments such as Po's confrontation with Shen or him discovering his old village marinate  without breaking the tone of these scenes with a needless joke. That's not to say there aren't any funny moments in the film. This film is still packed with alot of funny moments of slapstick, clever one-liners and hilarious gags. The entire scene in which Po and the 5 don a dragon costume and devour wolves only to poop them out still has me in stitches. The best part about tge film's story is how it uses it's animation. Specifically how it utilizes 2D animation for Po's flashbacks as well as the really funny dream sequence. They also outdid themselves with the action set pieces, with Po and the 5 using great teamwork and comerodery with one another. Also, Hans Zimmer and John Powell deserve major props for their excellent score for this film.

Cast and Characters: I've said it before and I'll say it again: Jack Black is the ONLY man who can do Po justice. He really outdoes himself when portraying Po this time around. In addition to still being his lovable goofy self, Jack also sells Po's frustration and anxiety. The best moment for Po is easily when he finds inner peace in his old village. When the Soothsayer asks him who he is, he says this line: "I am Po...and I'm gonna need a hat." This line fits so well with Po and Jack Black delivers it with such confidence. This film also gives more screen time to the Furious 5, which I very much appreciated. Each of the members is given more time to express their unique personalities and share a bond with one another as a team. Monkey is smart and has some fun moments as well as funny lines (delivered by the one and only Jackie Chan). Crane makes good use of irony and is pretty chill generally speaking. Mantis is also given some unique quirks such as not like being called cute and nonchalantly mentioning that if he meets up with a lady mantis, she'd eat his head. Viper is also sweet and is always willing to catch Po when he falls. Tigress, though, shares the most screen time with Po, which makes perfect sense as she's very much everything Po isn't interms of fighting style. Tigress is strong, fierce, agile and when she wants to, she can be merciless. She also has a soft spot for Po, even if she doesn't always show it. The Furious 5 are all essentially Po's brother and sisters; they may not always agree with him, but they always look out for him. Then there's our main bad guy for this film, Lord shen. In contrast to Tai Lung, Shen has a more calm and calculated demeanor, and utilizes weapons such as knives, spears and canons to get the job done. He also has an army of wolves at his disposal to do his dirty work. What makes him one of DreamWorks Animation's best villains is how he doesn't hesitate to try and kill our heroes or innocent civilians, yet he realishes in taking what he wants even if the Soothsayer says he's wrong time and time again. He's also the catalyst for Po being found and raised by Ping and sealing his own fate.

Where It Falters: While I wouldn't change a thing about this film, I do think it's still unfortunate that Masters Croc, Ox and Shifu were given limited screen time, particularly Shifu. I 100% understand this decision though as the film needed to focus on Po and any additional scenes with these 3 masters would take away from the film's main story. Still though, Dennis Haysbert, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dustin Hoffman all gave really good performances as these characters and they more than serve their purpose in the plot, so it's not a true deal breaker.

Conclusion: Kung Fu Panda 2 does everything a great sequel should do and then some. In addition to having a well written story, a strong cast of characters and very funny moments, it doubles down on what worked the first time around an includes more character development, outstanding actions scenes and stupendous vocal work from Jack Black. This is indeed one of the select few sequels to an already great film that surpasses it in terms of quality. If you haven't watched it, definitely check it out next time you're in the mood for some laughs and intense action. Skadoosh!

[blueseakelp]

✨childhood storytime✨ (because i do have memories. shut uP i DO.)

backstory for this: i was thinking about taob zuko and his leg and this memory came to mind AND i decided to share it with the entire internet to get it to stop the rent free-ness (content warning for like burns and shit, i don’t think it’s graphic but tell me if i’m wrong)

alright now. picture this. l o n g summer roadtrip (weeks of camping) with one (and i can’t emphasize this point enough) EXTREMELY dysfunctional family. parents are constantly fighting, an three kids and an infant are along for the ride, eldest child was just extremely dumb and lost their phone (who gives an eight year old a fucking phone that was a terrible idea), and they’re in an entirely different fucking state than where they live. (side note: don’t let your future husband drag you along on a camping road trip after you’ve just given birth if he’s not gonna fucking help with your four kids. no i’m not bitter for my mother because she refuses to be what are you talking about)

NOW, shitty fucking car, stage left. it’s already broken down and been towed ONCE this trip, but Parental Units decide that we can make it fucking work. after all, we only have about half of the trip left, it’ll be okay, right? wrong. car breaks down again. tensions are already high and now we’re in fucking fresno, a shitty californian town with the interest factor of the bottom of a boot and the heat of a goddamn oven.

ANYWAYS, we do slightly illegal shit as *fun family bonding* (which is an oxymoron) yadda yadda yadda it entails mostly just riding in the car as it’s being towed, ducking down to keep out of sight, it’s whatever. fast forward to the car dealership. mother is fucking stressed at this point in the trip, constantly taking care of four kids while my father’s off ??? being indecisive and/or a piece of shit probably. and now OH SHIT they have to buy a car because ours is past the point of no return. it’s now good for parts only. we do the whole thing, pick out a flashy and sexy (old and used) minivan, and now it’s time for negotiations because i’m pretty sure we can’t actually afford the price of this car. maybe we can. (money is perpetually tight until we fast forward five years and the Divorce happens and guess who’s making a shit ton more money than we thought?? ding ding it’s Father Dearest!! guess mother and the kids could’ve afforded those new clothes and foods instead of scrounging and saving all that time :)))))) *insert the “it’s free real estate” meme except “it’s financial abuse”*)

SO we’ve got a family of six looking very homeless with all of their luggage in the middle of a car dealership in fresno, hoping we don’t look desperate so we can buy the fucking car and get back to washington before school starts. i don’t remember how it happened that i, an eight year old child, wound up babysitting my six year old brother in an unfamiliar place with no supervision whatsoever, but my best guess is that my mom had a large dose of “I’m So Fucking Tired Of Four Children” juice that particular morning and my dad honestly did not notice and/or give two shits.

scene is set. the eight year old and the six year old, in the little dealership lounge thing-y, strangers milling about, and either ‘ice age’ or ‘kung fu panda’ playing on the tv screen. eight year old me decides, “hey i’m going to go make myself some dealership!hot chocolate!” as one does. i do, and spoiler alert, it’s scalding. my memory is foggy as shit in general so i actually barely remember most of what i’m telling you (*sings nicely* jigsAw puzzle, we’re putting the picture together) anyways, what i think happens next is that i get distracted and spill the pretty much boiling hot chocolate on myself (i just realized this is todoroki vibes as shit except to myself and the burn isn’t as severe. so actually not really nevermind). 

now, MY first (paraphrased) thought, being the fucked up child and product of my environment that i am, was “oh shit. i can’t tell mom and dad or else they’ll be mad at me that i did a bad job at watching my brother.” can you start to see where my unhealthy mindset comes from? i’ve Been this way. my second thought is probably “i’m glad my pants are tan so that the hot chocolate blends in” which like. it did not and im pretty astounded because i don’t think my parents ever noticed lmao.

everything happens, i grab a TON of napkins to clean up the spill, i ignore the pain of burning skin, i don’t remember how bad it hurt or if i cried but the answer is probably yes to both, and i try to do it as sneakily as possible so none of the adults in the room or my brother notice. mission successful, no one has called me on my bullshit, i’m in the clear. i plan on keeping this a Forever Secret so my parents don’t find out how irresponsible i am, and continue to suffer through what im now aware was probably a pretty severe burn, until it heals. i never treated it or anything, so it’s kind of a wonder it didn’t get infected and kill me. wow, so cool.

to end the story, i don’t actually remember ever telling my mother about this, although she knows somehow? i was really surprised that she did, but one day i was wearing shorts and she just randomly brought it up to my aunt. outside of that, i have no memory of discussing it. (probably at one point she saw the massive burn on my leg and asked me where it was from, is my best guess of how she found out) my father, if he knows (doubtful), has never brought it up. the burn now is pretty faded, but it’s also been the better part of a decade so i’d expect that. the only reason i know any of these memories are real is because i have the scar to prove it, so that’s fun for my brain. for all i know, i could’ve blocked out almost the entirety of what really happened so maybe i shouldn’t take my word for it. at least it makes for a fun and interesting story.

OH ALSO I JUST REMEMBERED the burn was pretty brown-ish when it first happened so eight year old me thought i got permanently stained by the hot chocolate for a little while there slfjlsjdfldhfslh

so yeah this was one of like two off the top of my head stories about how i probably could’ve died in worse circumstances from my own inability to seek help but did Not. also, just another example of my capacity of secrets, because i have a Lot and none of them are the fun kind.

[dweemeister]

NOTE: This is the second film released theatrically during the COVID-19 pandemic that I am reviewing – I saw Wonder Woman 1984 at the Regency Theatres Directors Cut Cinema’s drive-in operation in Laguna Niguel, California. Because moviegoing carries risks at this time, please remember to follow health and safety guidelines as outlined by your local, regional, and national health officials.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

It took decades for a female superhero movie to make a lasting cultural impact. The honor fell to Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman (2017) – no matter what you think of it, the film dispelled any perceptions that a female-driven superhero movie could never be a cinematic phenomenon. Jenkins returns, as does Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman and Chris Pine, in Wonder Woman 1984. This sequel is at its best when not proclaiming to the audience its self-importance – an aspect commonly found in and that plagues the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) – and, unfortunately, its poor screenplay oscillates between a flighty romp and superheroic maximalism. For Patty Jenkins, whose filmography is regrettably small mostly due to the lack of opportunities afforded to women directors, she could not have envisioned Wonder Woman’s success, nor the impossible expectations put upon her to surpass the first film. As it is, WW84 is an entertaining, if troubled sophomore effort.

Seven decades after we saw her in the first film and after a prologue during her childhood on Themyscira, Diana Prince (Gadot; Lilly Aspell as young Diana) is working as a restorationist at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C. In her off hours, she performs the occasional heroic act as Wonder Woman. One of the newest hires is gemologist Barbara Ann Minerva (Kristen Wiig). Diana and Barbara, from an FBI request, identify a stolen artifact as the Dreamstone – a gem that, according to legend, has the power to grant a person one wish. On accident, Diana wishes for her long-dead lover Steve Trevor (Pine) to come back to life; envious of Diana’s looks and wallowing in self-pity, Barbara off-handedly wishes to be like Diana. Both wishes come true, but in ways profaning the literal meanings of the respective wishes. For Barbara, this means a transformation into one of Wonder Woman’s archnemeses, Cheetah. Elsewhere in D.C., struggling television infomercial pitchman Max Lord (Pedro Pascal) wishes to procure the stone to revive his flagging business.

Robin Wright and Connie Nielsen are barely in the film as Antiope and Hippolyta, respectively. Lynda Carter, who played Diana on the ABC television series Wonder Woman from 1976-1979, has a self-aware moment which will delight fans.

1980s American culture is the nostalgic fixation at this moment in popular culture (with the march of time, each decade seems to be beholden to its own moment of nostalgic media cycles). Think of television shows like Stranger Things; movies like Adventureland (2009) and It (2017). The generation that came of age during Reagan’s America grew up in a time where the veneer of the Soviet-backed Eastern bloc was crumbling from within, and where Reaganomics spurred prevalent materialism and indulgence. Unadulterated greed and desire are in every corner of WW84 – from the terrible attempts at flirting with Diana and Barbara that easily qualifies as harassment, the difficulty in renouncing wishes on the Dreamstone, Max Lord’s inability to balance his business commitments in order to make time for his son, Alistair (Lucian Perez). WW84 captures this consumerist, entitled attitude throughout, and remarks on how corrosive this mindset is. Admittedly, it is simple messaging from the screenwriting team – Jenkins; Geoff Johns (a DC Comics writer and producer for comics, television, and film since 2000); and Dave Callaham (2014’s Godzilla, 2019’s Zombieland: Double Tap) – but they never contradict that central message.

WW84 progresses to its hackneyed, natural conclusion. But along the way, the screenplay is bogged down in the havoc that ensues from fulfilled wishes via the Dreamstone. The film’s impressive, animated start cannot build on its own momentum when – after the fulfillment of Barbara’s wish – it begins to clearly delineate its time between Diana/Steve, Barbara, and Max Lord. In their respective thirds of WW84, each character learns more about their granted wishes and the Dreamstone’s nature. The set-up for each third follows the same process: a monologue dripping with disappointment with their life directions, confusion in discovering their wish becoming true, and the exultation of their wild imagination defying all sense of reality. WW84 cannot help itself slathering on the foreshadowing and the repetitive narrative structure. The screenplay’s sins are compounded by the screenwriters’ inability to properly and consistently define the limitations of the Dreamstone’s powers – leading to expositional dumps occurring in the movie well past their welcome. As morbidly entertaining as watching humanity run amok with half-baked and ill-considered wishes is (credit to whoever choreographed the third act’s mass chaos), WW84’s unpolished storytelling leaves behind a somewhat befuddling mess.

The movie’s relative lightness in its opening two acts, though entertaining, throws away Diana’s characterization of a solitary, somewhat maternal protective figure in favor of a decades-long yearning for Steve. Are we really to believe that she has spent every waking moment since World War I pining – no pun intended – for someone she knew for probably less than a month? Whatever chemistry Gadot (whose performance as Diana remains at a laudable standard) and Pine had in the first film has evaporated into a labored dynamic in WW84, and she is too quickly is prepared to leave behind her life as museum preservationist by day/superhero-if-not-by-night-then-during-non-working-hours for him. Her behavior concerning Steve – and this is not even mentioning the ethically murky fact that Steve’s soul inhabits the body of a male stranger for the entirety of his resurrection – does not square with any notion of human growth, especially as most of the twentieth century has passed Diana by.

Putting aside the amusing transformation of Barbara from a bookish, clumsy gemologist to an unspectacled femme fatale, the emergence of not one, but two, villains weakens the characterizations, motivations, and portrayals of both. Thus, WW84 spends less time sympathizing with Barbara’s status as a social outcast, so too the relationship between Max Lord and his forgiving – at film’s end, at least – son (the only aspect of Lord’s life that exists outside work). The film’s divided attention between Barbara and Max Lord assures that their concluding actions become too cartoonish, depthless. It’s not that I am demanding that WW84 (or any superhero movie) should provide brooding, soliloquizing philosopher-poets for a villain. Far from it, especially when noting what the likes of Christopher Nolan and, more recently (and exasperatingly), Zack Snyder have offered in their interpretations of D.C. Comics characters’ mythos. Instead, Barbara and Max Lord become caricatures, rather than fully realized, flawed individuals who retain strands of their goodness even as their actions plunge them into villainy.

Though lacking a moment matching the brilliance of Wonder Woman’s entrance into No Man’s Land from the first film, WW84 contains its share of pulsating combat scenes. Cheetah’s debut during a confrontation at the White House is crisply edited by Richard Pearson (2004’s The Bourne Supremacy, 2006’s United 93) and shot by Matthew Jensen (Wonder Woman). The fight, unlike so many littering action movies nowadays, makes geometric sense of who is doing what and where. This collaboration of cinematographer and editor reaches its peak with a vehicular fight in Egypt that resembles something out of an Indiana Jones movie (minus the comedy that usually occurs during an Indiana Jones vehicular fight). It is a wonderfully choreographed scene, but one mired in its poor depiction of the Egyptians involved. WW84 concludes with a dud of a fight. This is not because of terrible CGI, or the revelation that their mothers share the same name. Instead, it is the lack of lighting that destroys this moment. The final fight between Wonder Woman and Cheetah is so poorly lit that the combat becomes an amalgam of flailing limbs and incomprehensible movement. Cheetah, who by this point appears as if she wandered off the set of Tom Hooper’s Cats (2019), appears to be nothing more than a ball of spotted fur. It is a disappointing end to an erratic sequel.

Longtime readers know that I have pilloried composer Hans Zimmer again and again for dispensing with melodies and for relying too heavily on ostinatos, electronics, and musical texture on his recent film scores. I’m a simple person with certain biases: as a classically-trained amateur pianist-violinist, I prefer scores that have musical interest within and outside the context of a film (would I enjoy playing this score in an orchestra and listening to it in a concert setting?). The worst of his imitators and colleagues at Remote Control Productions are on a train to my musical shit list.  His score to Wonder Woman 1984 is a rare bright spot (aside from maybe his work in the Kung Fu Panda series) in a decade marked by excess. The film opens with “Themyscira” – a synth-y prelude quoting Wonder Woman’s motif, but one that blossoms into orchestral triumphalism. This cue crescendos from 0:27 to 1:11 on the back of string ostinatos, regal brass, and chorus chanting pianissimo. The orchestra and chorus explode to life at 1:11 in a majestic, ascending melody celebrating the joys of Amazonian life on Themyscira. A hummable, singable melody in a 2020s Hans Zimmer score? Yes! Alongside Wonder Woman’s now-iconic electric cello motif, Zimmer has composed a secondary motif for her beginning at 1:53 in “Themyscira” (and which eclipses the electric cello motif in terms of appearances in the score). Another throwback occurs during the cue “1984”, a jubilant cycling of rhythmic melodies that could easily been in a 1980s film scored by Alan Silvestri, perhaps even younger Zimmer himself. Even when Zimmer is introducing villainous motifs or the motif for the Dreamstone, his contemporary obsession for droning synth is tempered by ostinatos in the strings and winds, rather than ear-splitting percussion.

Zimmer’s love theme for Diana and Steve is “Wish We Had More Time” – and I cannot recall the last time the composer brought forth such affecting romantic music. A languid melody led by strings speaks to Diana’s longing – however one may disapprove of it – in ways reminiscent, but still inferior to, of Italian movie scores during the 1980s and ‘90s (think: Luis Bacalov, Ennio Morricone, Nicola Piovani). One quibble: beginning at 1:13 until 2:12 in “Wish We Had More Time”, the second violin tremolos are much too loud, and are just as audible as the melodies by lower strings, first violins, and winds. Hans Zimmer’s score to WW84 is the most thematically fascinating he has composed over the last decade, and it – not Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy, not Inception (2010), and sure as hell not the sonic assault that is Dunkirk (2017) – represents the best of what he can be as a film score composer.

The temptation to elevate the dramatic stakes for sequels is present among all the major Hollywood studios. WW84 is not immune to this temptation, but it, at times, resists it. Its ungainly conclusion and dreadful narrative structure reflect those expectations, but one could not classify it as grimdark, such as almost everything Zack Snyder has directed. This is not a Wonder Woman limping her way through apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic times.  Patty Jenkins’ sequel, however flawed, unironically celebrates its own corniness and absurdity – one cannot say this about the MCU (which does so only via metatextual humor). Many of us can no longer experience for the first time Wonder Woman emerging from the Allied trenches of WWI, but Wonder Woman 1984 provides a vision of superhero movies particular to creator William Moulton Marston, director Patty Jenkins, and Gal Gadot’s portrayal of Diana Prince. It even allows for faint echoes of the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman series that would not have been appropriate in the first film. Flawed though this film is, its approach, after a decade or so of building cinematic universes of dramatic escalations, signifies a refreshing change of pace.

My rating: 6/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

Also in this series: Wonder Woman (2017)

[dawniebb]

I’m tired so let’s talk about crack headcanons

May I present you

The Team Sketch as Trauma the Animation World Seeded In me (cause’ it’s the only type of media I consume) and Still Haunts Me to This Day:

Nova:

-”The movie wasn’t about VictorxEmily. It was about Emily learning she can’t just fix her life by ruining somebody else’s. Pls stop talking shit about Victoria.” -C o r a l i n e. -Unironically likes Despicable Me bc Found Family trope (but she hates the Minions like any thinking individual would do). -”Really folks pls leave Victoria alone what did she ever do to you?” -Unironically likes Robots even though she hasn’t watched that shit in 11 years. -Won't watch Legend of Korra but she can’t think of an specific reason why she won’t. -Phineas & Ferb bc clever jokes™ -*Patiently waits for the Catrademption* *wants Adora to choke her*

-Thinks Megamind is underrated and everyone should watch it bc good shit.

-Can and WILL fight everyone who talks shit about The Boxtrolls bc why would you find flaws in an animated movie that harshly criticizes rich people and the government :) THE CHEESE IS A METAPHOR :)

Adrian:

- *Cries in LAIKA* -"You know, like that one scene in Spirited Away where...” -*Cries in Ghibli* -Still not over the fact Brave won the Oscar over ParaNorman - *Screams "PARANORMAAAAAN" during Scary Stories to Tell in The Dark bc same vibes* -"I heard there’s gay people in Ocean Waves” -*Watches Storks 263719173 times* - *Respects Frankenweenie bc of the dog and its animation although he doesn’t care that much about the plot* -ATLA is God. -TDP is the Holy Spirit. -"LOOOOOL THE MAIN VILLAIN IN KIPO IS A WHITE LADY AFGSHJAGB” -His dads wouldn’t let him watch Total Drama. 

-Still not over Spider-Verse.

-Probably won’t ever be over Spider-Verse. Ever.

-*Screams in pain during the amputation scene in I Lost My Body*

-Voltron ruined his life.

Ruby:

-GRAVITY FALLS -*Unironically likes Kick Buttowski* -*Unironically likes Phineas & Ferb* - *Wants to watch Milo Murphy's Law but is secretly not over Phineas & Ferb yet* - *Thinks every classic Barbie movie is a badly animated masterpiece but the newer ones suck* - *Gets traumatized bc of Balto for some reason and refuses to watch it again* -*Repeats the previous action but this time w/ The Fox and The Hound* -*Unironically prefers the third Cinderella movie* -"Does any of you remember The Legend of Sleepy Hollow? Bc I do" -SVTFOE 

Oscar:

-S H R E K - Likes the opening song for Shrek the Third but hates the rest of the movie -*Gets unironically depressed over the concept of having Fairly Oddparents  bc of the fact people must forget about them at some point* - YING YANG YO - The songs from Mulan 2 are the shit -Was fixated on Kung Fu Panda but stopped watching after the first movie -Likes The Cat in The Hat and thinks about it as an animation movie even though he knows it’s not -"Sokka invented comedy yall" -USED TO WATCH THE REPLACEMENTS IN THE EARLY MORNING. -*Unironically likes the Lilo & Stitch spinoff* -Doesn't understand why everyone hates the first Cars movie -THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE

-How To Train Your Dragon took his life with it when the trilogy was done.

-Would die for Rayla.

-Voltron ruined his life x2

Danna:

-WILL STAY FOR THE LESBIANS - "I heard there’s gay people in Ocean Waves x2" -"THERE’S GAY PEOPLE IN PARANORMAN" -*Thinks Spink and Forcible from Coraline are lovers* -The Princess and The Frog -*Likes the first half of Brave but not the second one* -*Despises Ralph Breaks The Internet* -*Pretends Frozen II doesn’t exist* -*Likes SU until everyone starts crying* -GRAVITY FALLS. Is a Pacifica stan :) - Megara. Just that. Megara :) - One eye in Rayllum. The other in Jamaya -"Literally the only bitches I respect are named Callum and that includes the Treadwell one.” - *Gives up on Catra but stays for the rest of the lesbians* -"Really guys what did Jackie Lynn Thomas ever do to you? " - "What did Victoria ever do to you x2? " -*defends every single one of the Disney Princesses and counts Kuzco as one of them*

-Fucking hates the ending of When Marnie Was There. Everyone thought she was crying of sadness but in reality she was just enraged.

[radramblog]

Dreamworks Tier List

It’s a low effort post time!

I asked for a random tier list to do and this is what was handed to me. I can work with this. Time to ruin some people’s opinions of me.

Aight lets get this out of the way.

I’d consider watching some of these- Prince of Egypt and How to train your dragon 2/3 are apparently pretty good, and I’d watch The Croods for Nic Cage alone. But I think the bottom tier are just inexcusable, based off what I’ve seen and heard of trailers and opinions and reviews since their release. And Antz and Sinbad are movies I’ve definitely seen as like, a 5 year old, but I don’t know shit so I might as well not have.

 Shit Tier

If you’ve seen the trailer for Madagascar 3, where Marty does the whole “da-da-dadadada-da-dada circus” for way to long, you’ve seen Madagascar 3. The rest of the movie is just as obnoxious and unfunny.

Similarly, Monsters vs Aliens is just devoid of anything resembling humour or intrigue. The most I remember is the scene of the President trying to communicate with the aliens by…playing Axel F? I remember it because at the time I was like holy shit a Crazy Frog reference, but that’s not something I like to acknowledge being a fan of these days.

Shark Tale is an abomination unto god, and that’s even before we get to how fucking weird it looks. It’s an entire fucking story built around the “liar revealed” plot, which is easily one of the most aggravating plot archetypes ever devised. Somehow it’s not the worst cinema Will Smith has been in, a fact that is frankly mind-boggling- but After Earth and the second half of Hancock still exist, so.

 Bad Tier

Over the Edge was something I found entertaining as a kid, but I’m not sure why. It does have the climax sequence I did like, but that one blatant reference got a lot less funny when I realized it wasn’t original. For the life of me I don’t remember what the reference is to, but it’s some anime, you know.

Bee Movie is the source of some of the greatest memes of all time, and for that alone it gets a rescue from shit tier. But it’s so, so awful. I really don’t know who signed off this plot.

Madagascar was a series that only got worse as it went on. It didn’t start that good. At least this one has Moto Moto.

Shrek the Third is the worst Shrek, and it’s nooooot particularly close. I don’t remember a huge amount from it, but what I do remember wasn’t good. Why did they make Donkey fuck the dragon?

 OK tier

Madagascar 1 was the best Madagascar, and in a surprising reversal of how this normally goes, managed to be significantly better than it’s Disney (?!) ripoff, Into the Wild. The one with the most genuine emotional moments, and the first one before they started shoving the Penguins and King Julien down everyone’s throat. Sidenote, did you know Julien is voiced by Sacha Baron Cohen??

Shrek Forever After somehow managed to be less bad than Shrek the Third, but it’s not like it was particularly good. It’s a wonderful life but it’s Shrek is more compelling than I would have expected, seeing as it does mean you have to have him actually acknowledge the development of his character. The framing of this, and the “comedy” therein, do not land.

 Good Tier

For what it’s worth, I think Shrek is overrated. This doesn’t mean I think it’s bad, obviously, quite the opposite. It’s a parody that thankfully doesn’t rely too heavily on reference and gross-out humour, but manages to have the comedy actually land in a way I don’t think anyone at the time expected. But it’s really overshadowed by the sequel.

I basically don’t remember anything from How to Train your Dragon, but I’m pretty sure I’d get my throat slit if I put it any lower than this, so. It’s aight? Probably need to rewatch it, but you’d have to force me to do it.

I genuinely forgot the Wallace and Gromit movie, along with the other Aardman Animations films, ended up under the Dreamworks umbrella. I’d argue Curse of the Were-Rabbit is weaker than the original shorts, but considering how perfectly charming those are, that isn’t actually saying that much. Now that I think of it, have I ever watched this all the way through? It might be up here by pedigree alone.

Speaking of Aardman, Flushed Away is genuinely excellent comedy, and would probably be substantially higher if the main characters’ design didn’t weird me out. They’re a little too anthropomorphized.

Kung Fu Panda is best described by the Chinese film producer who said, “Why did we never make this film?” While I find Po somewhat obnoxious, the rest of the movie more than compensates.

Holy shit I need to go rewatch Megamind, that movie was so fucking good but I haven’t seen it since it came out. Somehow I remember a review of the Wii game in some magazine (34ish % iirc) better than I do that film, and that’s a genuine tragedy. I didn’t even realise that meme of the villain from like last year or so was actually from Megamind, aaarrgh.

Top Tier

Shrek 2 is a perfect sequel. It innovates on the parody elements, continues the story in an interesting way, and has genuinely good emotional moments with a frankly iconic climax. I’m not sure I have a single bad thing to say about it. It’s really, really good.

Chicken Run is another one where it’s hard to gush about. It’s just excellent Aardman Brothers animation combined with a solid premise and surprisingly dark elements, and all of those come together to make a genuinely top tier movie. One of the best animated films ever made? Maybe.

But El Dorado is better. What El Dorado feels like to me is the secret 5th member of that period where Disney was just putting out off-beat but excellent animated films- from when we got Lilo and Stitch, The Emperor’s New Groove, and Atlantis. The last glorious breaths of American 2D animation. It’s a peerless adventure film, on a similar stage as the better Indiana Jones films or the aforementioned Atlantis, while managing to be engaging for those of all ages. It’s got witty dialogue for days, and astonishing visuals and music. I don’t think Dreamworks has made a better movie than this, and I don’t think they ever will.

That image this list is using for it looks fucking awful though, holy shit.