#do you have like a math degree or something cause you know so much what the heck??

[spacewives-in-spacetime]

You have to know that I LOVE talking math and I am used to people stopping listening after three words so - don't worry if this isn't anything for you after all but also please ask any and all questions <3

Without further ado: Addition and multiplication explained structurally as I understand them in as simple terms as possible

Do you know what a function is? - starting with the hardest part right off the bat but that's math for you 😅 So a function is like a recipe of what you do to things in one pot, named 'set' to return things from another set (so another pot). The sets could be anything, meaning there could be anything in either pot, even other pots. The things inside the set are called 'elements'. So a function takes an element from the first set and then returns an element from the other. You might know functions as like f(x) =x^2 or something but they can look very diverse.

Addition and multiplication are such functions that follow certain rules. We call them 'operations'. (I think we do that because they take elements from the same (not really but kinda) set that they return elements from but I might be mistaken. Never been good with remembering names.) So if we perform these operations on a set X, they will take elements from the set X×X and return an element from X. What does that mean? Well, in easy words it means they are functions that independently choose two (always 2!) elements from X and return one element from X as their sum/product.

And then the following rules apply for both addition and multiplication: (I am going to use the symbol * for either operation now)

They are associative, that is a*(b*c) =(a*b) *c (this literally means that within pure addition/multiplication the order of performing the operation is completely random - well as long as we don't change the order of the letters themselves. So by this rule alone, we can't start with the operation a*c because there is a 'b' in between but the choice between starting with ab vs b*c is free)

There is a neutral element. That is, there exists an element e in X such that e*a=a*e=a for all a in X. For addition this is the 0. No matter whether I add 0 from the left or the right to any number, I still get that same number. For multiplication this is the 1.)

There is an inverse. That is, for any element a in X there exists an inverse element b such that a*b=b*a=e, meaning if we perform the operation on a and B we get the neutral element. For addition, this is b=-a because a+(-a) =0 and for multiplication this is b=1/a because a1/a=1 (note the different neutral elements here). (also note that for multiplication in the real numbers we have to exclude the 0 here as it is the only number without an multiplicative inverse)

The operation is commutative, that means a*b=b*a. And THIS is the rule that basically tells us it is COMPLETELY random in which order we perform the operation AS LONG AS we have pure addition or pure multiplication.

Little capybara gif in between to take a breather:

[ID: gif of a happy capybara swimming with oranges. end I'd]

So what do we have until now:

There is no subtraction or division. That's a lie they tell you in school. Well, I mean, there is but those operations are covered in case 3 by the inverse. Like, really, structurally division and subtraction ARE NO DEFINED OPERATIONS. They are simply what we call when one of the elements we pick is the inverse of an element that would feel more 'natural' to pick. (hah, pun intended because the ones that feel natural to pick tend to be from the natural numbers) What do I mean by that? So if I asked you to give me an example for an addition, you would probably come up with something like 3 + 1 or 8+5. You would most probably not pick 1 + (-9), even though -9 is a real number, even an integer and something we should learn in school how to handle. At least if we get a good teacher. But 1 + - 9 is an addition on the reals! Same for the multiplication (1/6)*2, also a rather simple multiplication on the reals. (You may have noticed that I used the 'inverse' in the second place in the first case and the first place in the second case so obviously that is random, too. I could also do (-1)+(-3), bam : addition!) (btw I am putting inverse in '' on purpose here, because the inverse of the inverse is the original element again. So while we can say -3 is the inverse of 3 it is as true that 3 is the inverse of -3. Like subtracting 2 by - 3 would be calculating 2 +3, you know? Confusing? Yeah, that's why we like to ignore the existence of subtraction/division :))

With pure addition or multiplication - read with addition/subtraction OR multiplication/division there is NO SET ORDER TO THE OPERATIONS WHATSOEVER. This is because of point 1 and 4: point 1 says that for any expression with only one operation performed several times I can start with whichever one and continue until all have been performed. Left to right, right to left, from the middle outwards, jumping around - does not make any different. Point 4 says that in addition, I can randomly exchange the order of elements in addition, so really I can solve the expression HOWEVER I WANT (within the rules, of course, but the order is entirely random). Like that's what these rules are FOR.

Okay, but what if we mix addition and multiplication now? Then we get one (1!) extra rule:

5. For any elements a, b, c in X we have: (here now * is only multiplication and + is addition) a*(b+c) = a*b + a*c (distributive law)

So this is the only thing that tells us how to handle a mixture of addition and multiplication. That's why we have the 'multiplication before addition' rule - there just is no structure for doing it the other way round! You know?

Like, with the distributive law we know what to do when multiplying something with a sum. But there is no rule for what to do when adding to a product. So we first have to solve the product to get an element in the set of real numbers, because for that we know how to perform the operation. That's where the hierarchy comes from (I believe).

Funfact: in Germany this (multiplication before addition) is the only rule taught in school (or at least it was when I went to school in Germany). They don't have pemdas or whatever but 'Punkt vor Strich' which directly translates to 'Point before stroke' bc multiplication is one little point and division two little points. And addition is a Swiss cross and subtraction is a horizontal line. I have to admit it messed me up a little seeing as I very quickly used fractions / is also a stroke rather than a point.

And then the last casual and very obvious rule is 'brackets help us understand things so they are stronger than anything else'.

In conclusion:

there is no hierarchy between multiplication/division and addition/subtraction respectively because they are literally the same thing

order within the same kind of operation is completely arbitrary

you can always only perform an operation on two elements of your set OR perform the distributive law and this leads to the 'point before stroke' rule

Brackets are your friends and thus you prioritise them <3

I hope this makes sense, halfway?

If you want to look this up in more mathematical terms/clean definitions, then I have given you the rules for a 'field' and 'abelian groups' here. Also you might want to familiarise yourself with functions if you have trouble understanding this. I feel like getting what a function really is is THE entry step into understanding math. (but this is a personal opinion and I bet there are mathematicians who would fight me over that)

Because these are actually more general algebraic constructs and not just what happens in the reals when we add/multiply. They ARE the most simple examples of what you encounter in algebra imo but that might be because we are used to dealing with the reals/rational number from child age. Anyway, there are loads of different objects that work differently but with similar rules. Vector spaces and rings are lovely for example, if you want to have a look there. Or modules or algebras if you'd like it to be a little more difficult ;)

Have an image of some butterflies as a treat because you read until here <3

[ID: image of four butterflies on a shrub. end ID]

(I hope you like butterflies. I love them :))

(also, I really hope I didn't make any mistakes up there 😅 but more or less this is what Lilly meant by 'equal weight' of operarions)

holy fucking shit you are smart

i feel like this all makes sense (???) but i have one question: what tf is pure/not pure multiplication and addition? like, i understood everything but that just like messed with my brain 😭

i feel like this is such a good description of mathing that my brain is in shock lol

[lilislegacy]

Okay, I’ve been thinking about something lately

All the time I see people make statements about Percy that start with “Percy would never…”

Some examples I’ve seen: “percy would never kill someone/something in front of his mom” “percy would never yell at someone he loves” “percy would never get drunk” “percy would never let his child go to camp-half blood”

Now if you passionately believe one of those, hear me out. I’m not necessarily saying I disagree!

I’m saying… who would have ever thought Percy would torture a goddess and choke her on her own poison? And…. enjoy doing it? If someone had said that on tumblr pre-HoH, every single comment and reblog would have been “PERCY WOULD NEVER!!” I mean, who would have thought Percy would do a million things he’s done? He’s done some very not so ‘silly little guy’ stuff. He is an extremely complex character. In his own head and to some people, he’s sweet and fun and silly, but to many people he’s reckless and scary and dangerous. Some people see him as someone who’s very gentle and relaxed, but some people see him as someone who’s quick to get very angry and cause destruction. And the truth is, he’s all of it. It depends on his mood. Consistency does not apply to him in many aspects. He has consistent traits, like loyalty, humor, and bravery, but his actual actions and reactions are NOT consistent. I understand why we think Percy would never do certain things. We think we know based off of his past and his history with his mom, or with Gabe, or with Luke. And I’m not saying I think he would do those things, but unless he specifically states it, we can NOT, ever, infer what Percy Jackson might or might not do.

Like for instance, the drinking thing. I am not saying percy would be a big drinker, if one at all. And he probably does have an aversion to the smell of beer because of how the apartment used to smell when he was young. But we have no evidence that Percy associates all alcohol with Gabe. Alcoholic drinks aren’t just foul smelling hard liquors. There are a million different forms that you can consume alcohol in - some of which don’t even smell like alcohol, and barely taste like it. And in The Chalice of the Gods, it’s said that Sally drinks a glass of wine every night. And Percy thinks Sally hangs the freaking moon. So if his mom drinks, he definitely doesn’t believe that alcoholic beverages = the enemy. And here’s the thing, if Annabeth and Piper and Leo were all drinking and having a good time, like college students do, and they go “Hey Percy, come sit and have a drink with us!” there’s a very good chance that he’s so comfortable with his best friends, and just wants to let loose and be a college kid, that he wouldn’t even think about Gabe. He’d just be like “Sounds fun! Count me in!” But I don’t know. That’s the point. I don’t know. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn’t. I truly think it could go either way. And even if he does drink, maybe he never - not even once - gets drunk. Maybe he’d drink in college and as a young adult, but when he becomes a father one day, he decides he doesn’t want his children to ever smell so much as a drop of alcohol on his breath, and therefore completely stops drinking. Or maybe he doesn’t ever like it, even in college. Or maybe he’s like his mom, and he and Annabeth just have a glass of wine with dinner. Who knows?

Not us. That’s what I’m saying. WE don’t know.

I’m not saying we can’t have headcanons based on what we know about him. I have a million. But the point is, I feel like we can’t try to pretend like we actually know what Percy wouldn’t do. As a fandom, we analyze him and his choices WAY more than he ever thinks about a single choice. He definitely does not think about his life and his actions as much as we do. (I’m not saying that he’s dumb or doesn’t contemplate his life and his actions, but he doesn’t nearly do it to the degree that we do.) Us, we pretend like it’s simple math. (Our first mistake, since math is consistent and full of rules, which is the exact opposite of Percy’s character.) We go “okay luke did this and gabe did this so therefore percy would never do this.” But Percy doesn’t think that way most of the time, especially not in heat of the moment matters. The only thing we 100% know about Percy is that he will always be loyal to his loved ones. But even then, we don’t know what that loyalty will look like. Is it sacrificing himself for someone? Is it murdering the enemy? Is it manipulating someone else? Percy lives in the moment. He doesn’t often think too much before he acts. He just acts. Whether it’s in a life of death situation, or his after school activity for the day. He is unpredictable, like the ocean. It’s one of his defining traits.

Honestly, I think that’s why annabeth is so drawn to him. With everyone else, she can read them super easily and know their next move. But with Percy, she has no idea. Which is frustrating to her, but also exciting. It’s a big part of her initial attraction to him. It’s also why many of us like him so much. We don’t know what’s coming next, and we never know what he will do in a situation. Like, how could we possibly know what he would or wouldn’t do when HE doesn’t even know? Half the time I don’t think Rick himself even knows.

We become so sure that Percy wouldn’t do something because we understand his character so well, right? But I think the truth is, the minute we become certain about what Percy would or wouldn’t do, is the minute we don’t understand his character at all.

Thank you for reading my analysis of Percy on why we can’t reliably analyze Percy

[dark-l-angel]

if you want requests, I am so delulu, I'm stuck in my own world 24/7 and my brain refuses to stop.....

Jason, who growing up had a crush on reader, but being the clueless person we are we have no clue (I swear it's a curse, I genuinely don't know that someone is into me until they say it. No flirting computes with me) but then the whole- ya know, not living thing happens.... The thing that leads up to Red Hood (I refuse to say it) and reader is later confronted by either Dick or Alfred at the funeral and they're like

“You know he like you, right?” and readers response is

“Not as much as I loved him”

which I guess causes a whole sad thing that I can't cope with, so you decide what happens from there, but basically the ending is when Jason is not the scary evil Red Hood anymore but more the Jason people fantasize about, he tells reader how he feels and IDK man something cute and fluffy, my brain is just sad all the time so all I have is the sad stuff.

Anyways, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be, but here it is, please ignore it if it's weird or too much 😅

have a nice day, peace out ✌️

Princess, believe it or not i had hundreds of scenarios to this situation at fucking 5 a.m when i was ab to pass my bachelor exam *I'm talking math day 💀

And having your own world is nice actually.. ❤ at least you have an escape place from painful reality and ur comfort character is hugging you in your rough times. Hope happiness strikes you like jason's beauty did to me 😃💝 love u deeply 💖

Reunion

Jason todd x fem!reader

"You know that he liked you.. right?" Dick's voice ringed in your ear.. even after all this time.. it's like it happened yesterday..

Thinking while staring at a book jason used to read when you both were younger.. before.. that incident..

You put the book away and picked another, you shared the same love of books with jason, that explains why you become a loyal customer to libraries and coffee shops.

It was always a sad thing to go to libraries, yet it felt like happiness to you.. finally some freedom from this cruel world. You don't have to suffer through reading some simple lines with deep meanings.. in fact, it changed you 360 degrees, your vision to the world has changed since ever jason introduced you to the books.

You were walking around the library while hugging different books, looking carefully through the shelves of another chosen one, Losing all connections with your world, not feeling a specific guy staring at you in admiration.

Your eye fallen on an interesting novel, but it was on the top shelf. You tried to reach it but failed, and you got that idea of reaching it through another book was by your hand. You did, the novel is coming out, but still not enough, you had to put extra efforts by standing on the top of your toes.

"Too bad short angel can't reach her little novel" a tall handsome man was towering you from behind, you looked up and his eyes fell into yours, green emerald eyes inspecting your angelic features in admiration carefully *while you took your time to enjoy his mesmerizing gorgeous beauty like the little whore you and i will do*.

He smirked before looking back to the novel and pulling it out for you, gosh he was handsome, but.. you could swear you know him from somewhere.

He reads the title loud before saying "damn baby girl you've got some pretty good taste out there.. i like it" he smirked "oh thanks, I've always liked that type of stuff especially when *author name* added his pov of the topic.." he laughed.

As you both sat at a coffee shop and continued babbling ab different books to different subjects.. almost everything.. as if you actually know this person years ago, the problem was that you weren't the type to get comfy to people easily.. so what's the matter with this guy?.

Probably his smile that cached your mind? or his emerald eyes and their beauty? his funny jocks? Or it's your shared likings? Or the fact that he was the only person to be able to crack his way through your dead heart and plant a rose of adoration that was meant only for him? The only person to have the ability to warm your heart after all these years? Or him being the reason of your tears of laughter?... sooo much questions going through your head.

You finally managed to ask him.. " i feel like i know you from years, never had fun like this since then.. do i know you by any chance?" You said while wiping away the tears of laughing on his stories.

"You didn't recognize me y/n?" You didn't tell him your name yet.. how would he- "i missed you so much actually... i have been thinking about you in everything i was doing back then, dick might probably told you about it, yet i still do think about you all the time..." you watch the man goes on.. but dick? He spoke about jason only.. and jason is.. gone.. "you forget me y/n?" That can be..

He smiled staring at you in pure love and admiration and adoration.. "It's jason.. the dumb boy who fell dumber in love with you, angel ♡".

Hope you like it ❤ baby gurl was here 😘

[groenendaelfic]

Do you think Simon would actually be willing to become the Prince Consort tho?! Like yes he LOVES Wille but I don't think he'd ever wanna officially set a foot in that system let alone give up his career for being a working royal

The quick answer is yes, I think he’d thrive. Go read my fic Becoming Prince Simon for details.

The long answer is that I think that just like we tend to make Wilhelm into this social justice prince who’d love being a house husband and hates being a royal, when in fact he is quite comfortable with ignoring staff while he walks past them in a ratty old t-shirt and sweatpants because there’s nothing more normal than living in a palace and having staff cater to him for him, and he actively enjoys ordering Jan-Olof to send him food to the middle of nowhere Hillerska, to name but two examples of how Wilhelm very much doesn’t mind being royal or privileged, and just hates being told what to do or say and having to act like someone he isn’t, Simon, too, isn’t this grand idealist.

Sure he’d like being treated fairly, who doesn't, especially when you always draw the short straw even while following the rules while your classmates get away with breaking them without problem, but the truth is he’s rather pragmatic.

He gets back in contact with his drug addict, alcoholic and to a currently unknown degree abusive father so that he can acquire alcohol for his underage classmates to drink so that Sara can attend a party, and then steals drugs to among other things pay for math tutoring because he wants good grades.

I’m not saying Simon would jump at the chance to join the royal family, but he’d come to see the advantages, and I’m not just talking about him being with Wilhelm, but also all the good he can do. He doesn't need to be a monarchist for that.

So yes, I don’t only think Simon would be willing to become Prince Consort, but that he’d thrive once he got accustomed to the idea.

After all modern day Sweden isn’t Czarist Russia or pre-revolutionary France, you can’t just burn that shit down (and get the Soviet Union or Emperor Napoleon), because that wouldn't work and attempting so would do more harm than good. 

You need reform and systematic change, and to change a system you need to interact with it, for example from the inside, and as spouse to the Crown Prince and later King, Simon would be in the ideal position to affect that.

He doesn’t need any actual power to highlight problems and topics important to him or for people to pay attention and listen. It doesn’t always have to be Diana shaking hands with a man with aids in the 80s, it can be something as trivial as the irl second in line opening a fairytale trail in her duchy as a toddler.

What the royal family does (and doesn’t! do) gets publicity and is reported. Simon knows that. He grew up seeing it all the time.

And the people most likely to take note of what the royal family does? Those I dare say are also some of the ones who could do with a bit more exposure to the causes Simon would highlight.

Also not to be mean but give up what career? We know Simon enjoys making music and he wants to get out of small town Bjärstad, but as far as we know he has no great, specific career ambitions he’d have to give up.

I’m gonna end this with a potentially triggering and extreme example, so take care.

When the royal court announced that the irl Swedish crown princess had an eating disorder I was in junior high. I'll always feel sorry for what she had to go through so publicly and it definitely is another point on the list of why monarchies and celebrity culture are the worst, but I also cannot overstate how much good that publicity did when it came to bringing awareness to the topic of eating disorders.

Suddenly that was something that was seriously discussed as an illness by people in power and who otherwise never would have, and not just in a ‘haha those silly teenage girls wanting to look like Kate Moss’ kind of way, because it was the crown princess and not some random pop starlet, and if that can happen to someone like her, then who is to say it can’t also affect our own children etc?

We were taught about it in school, in detail, when my older cousins never were, how to recognize them, how to help, where to go for help. More, there suddenly were places to help, places that were actively advertised which hadn’t been before.

There were clinical programs being opened and awareness campaigns launched, and not just in Sweden. (I’m not saying she was the only reason, it was the late nineties, it was really, really necessary, but she was a big deciding factor when it came to the amount and speed at which things changed)

It sucks that royals and celebrities highlighting important issues can make such a difference, and I’m the first to go yell abolish all systems of inequality irl, but Simon could do a lot of good as a working royal, and he’d actually care about changing things, instead of just finding it a boring necessity like irl royals and the YR royal family including Wilhelm do, which is why I think that in a few years, given time, he would very much be willing to become part of the system if only to bring what change he can, especially when no one else can take his place and do it instead of him.

[tearsofcalamity]

wriofucker's fine by me lol unless u have another nickname that'd be both as accurate & funny!

i wasn't too clear earlier; i think our mandatory education goes up to 9th grade, and then it's like a minimum of 4(ish) years for a uni degree. so it's not all that different lol

nahh im telling you i had one macroeconomics class once and it fried my fuckin brain. only reason i could stand it was because the professor was too right-brained for his own good (he'd start his lectures with a song he liked. i wrote a bunch of barely-relevant shit abt environmental pollution on the exam—he was super passionate abt it—and he just let me pass<3 loved that guy). ik i said it before but good luck on ur studies!! im sure you'll absolutely kill it out there. and, thank sm! i actually finished the short story assignment last night but im too scared to submit it jdhdj

im so glad you've got more kaveh brewing omg he's so<33 bit of a shame you're not into kavetham (they make me bite & scream) but that's just fine; more kaveh/reader for the world! except the world is me and nobody else<3 can u imagine teasing kaveh in public, maybe he's even all nice & plugged up, and you're warning him not to let a single person figure out what's going on bc he's for your eyes only<3 but it's so difficult and you're relentless and it feels so, so good... he doesn't even care about people finding out anymore, but he wants to be a good boy for you... phew. lord have mercy

HAHA WRIOFUCKER IT IS THEN!! happy to have a named anon :D

ohhhh I see I see! okay yeah so it's pretty similar just a few differences! I think the only reason I'm surviving my business/econ work is cause I've got a math-wired brain lmfao. I've got autism ("high functioning" but I don't really like that term for it, I think the more acceptable one is "low support needs") and I got the "math autism" as my friends put it so that's probably a bigger part of it. I like making spreadsheets and working out equations HAHA, also thank you for the well wishes I actually just found out I passed calc 2 with an 82% so I'm very happy about that!! I'm glad to hear you got your short story done as well, sounds like you're moving through it all good <3!!

HONESTLY I don't hate the ships (like either kavetham or haikaveh I think they're different? like some shippers put the top's name first or something?? I'm not 100% sure) like I TOTALLY see the chemistry don't get me wrong, I think it's mainly just that I get so sad seeing like nearly 0 kaveh content without alhaitham included. I love both of them but kaveh's got such a unique and deep story too, yet people often just kinda treat him like an accessory to alhaitham likely cause he's 4 star and haitham is 5 star so it turns me off of the ships a bit </3 still though that's so true MORE KAVEH/READER!!!!

oh don't even get me started on teasing kaveh in public there's so many ways you could do it and each one would make him squirm more than the last... shove a nice little vibrator deep inside of him, remote controlled of course, and enjoy watching his knees practically buckle every time you up the intensity. ooh, maybe he's giving a one-time academic seminar for some kshahrewar students and you just stand in the corner, grinning at him all the while while he shakes and tries his best to keep his voice level, praying his face isn't as red as it feels...

or play around with him in the tavern, sit right next to him and brush your hand along his inner thigh while he squirms, not sure whether he wants to move closer or further way from you... this one's easier to hide since his flushed cheeks could easily be attributed to a bit too much to drink, but once he's grabbing at your wrist to push your hand into his bulge at last, he knows by your stare that he's messed up. I mean, he hadn't kept his promise to be good, had he? guess you'll just have to rail him over his workbench back at home when he least expects it! (totally ignore his needs/pretend he's not acting super horny when you get back at first, though, he'll be so good for you when you finally do bend him over)

[serendertothesquad]

"Wordsville" and the Problem with Cash-Cow Copies

[note original day of creation was February 15, 2024. just...just for reference. trust me bro.]

Hello.

Tonight I am in a silly mood fueled by sleep deprivation.

That means you all get an introspective blog that I will complete within a week and then ask "why'd I write that?"

So here's what's on Seren's lovely table of discussion tonight...

Put...put away the glasses. You don't need your glasses. This is the highest-quality thing I can get.

But et voila. A little project in the works called Wordsville.

Now, at this point you might be asking why I'm referencing "cash-cow copies" in the title. And whoo-hoo...oooooh...well, I don't want to make this some kind of clickbait blog, so I might as well perfect the atomic bomb in five minutes and land it on you folks.

What if I were to tell you that this is a blatant, shameless, slap-a-digital-coat-on-it-and-call-it-a-day copy of Odd Squad?

Ahhh, see, now I have you intrigued. Hopefully. If you are, then peep down below and let me discuss things a little more in-depth for you non-believing hacks asking me if I'm borderline insane.

So to put things in perspective, allow me to explain what Wordsville is, starting with my own personal summary.

Wordsville is an up-and-coming episodic (not to be confused with serialized, that's a whole 'nother ballgame) TV series that is produced (and will later be distributed) by Sinking Ship Entertainment and is made with assistance from WNET, a PBS station located in New Jersey, and TVO Kids, PBS Kids's girlfriend from Canada that's definitely real.

It was announced back in October of last year with a press release from Kidscreen, which didn't give much info aside from the following blurb:

Wordsville stars two child detectives on the hunt for missing words that are causing chaos in their town.

Sounds a little familiar, don'tcha think? Two kid detectives, finding something missing...and that "something missing" is causing chaos where they live?

Oh, but if you think the similarities end there, then no. No the absolute fuck they do not. I've got my bathing suit on and God damn it if I'm not gonna jump all the way in the pool instead of dippin' my little toes in there.

Doing a little bit of digging reveals more tidbits from a casting call for the series. It's rather wordy (ayyyyyy I did a funy), so let's take it piece by piece and discuss accordingly.

Wordsville is a town populated entirely by kids

A town that is populated entirely by children? Now c'mon, surely that doesn't ring a be-

...Ah. Whaddya know. Yes it does.

And with the adults as useless and idiotic as they are, it might as well be a town full of solely children. Next question.

and it’s a place where words matter. A lot. Every kid citizen has a special connection to words. And that means that if something happens to a word, there are far-reaching consequences.

A special connection to words? Like how there are children who have a special connection to normalcy? Stopping, oh, I dunno, hypothetically speaking...

...oddness?

Okay okay, I'm reaching just a wee bit here, but you can't read this and not tell me it echoes the funny kids math show to some degree or another. If an odd thing happens to a person, the whole town suffers. You've seen it. I've seen it. It's been the basis for many an A and B-plot. Must I elaborate? Good, because I don't plan on it. Continuing.

If the Main Street Baker bakes delicious donuts and they all mysteriously disappear, nothing else in Wordsville can taste good until they are returned.

Town Baker walked so Main Street Baker can sprint while blowing their lungs out.

If the Town Doctor’s soothing medication gets swiped, the whole town gets uncontrollably itchy until the medicine-napper is uncovered.

Ignoring the incredibly dark implications of this as well as the implications of this shoddy knockoff town having only one single doctor...

Dr. O walked so the Town Doctor can sprint while blowing their lungs out...over their massive paycheck.

(I technically could have also put New Dr. O too, but I'd like to spring for iconic OG's here. New Dr. O is neither iconic nor an OG.)

And let me remind you that "Torontonians get uncontrollably itchy due to something odd" would, by technicality, classify as an odd problem. Because...I mean, y'know...the cause is something odd happening. Doing shit with words is odd. This needs absolutely no explaining.

If the Local Scientist does an experiment with electricity and all the lights in town go out, they won’t come back on until the experiment wrecker is revealed.

Yep, I've taken shots of every IPA I can. We nearly hit the main character quadfecta, if you discount Dr. "bro thinks she's part of the team" O. All they needed was a bit about a high governing body and we'd round out the quad squad in proper with Oprah!

There's also a sneaky lil' crumb in the form of that blurb relating to Oona, who did, indeed, experiment with electricity in one episode and wound up proving why she can never take up Crossfit.

Hmmmnnnnext!

In each crime, the episodic word disappears and can’t return until the mystery is solved. The impact of the missing word is felt all over town.

This is another one of those things that I gotta wrench a hammy for in terms of comparisons, because about the only thing I can reasonably compare Odd Squad to is the second sentence.

See, here's the thing. You get oddness that happens to a person. Oftentimes, that oddness spreads to other people, whether directly (in the form of diseases and disorders) or indirectly (like the Town Baker's cakes being split in half, which wouldn't please Torontonians poppin' in for a whole cake and eyeing the display to get a feel for one). In a sense, normalcy disappears and, well, it can't return until [insert partner pair here] solve the case. It's kinda the entire schtick of Odd Squad as a franchise. It's formulaic, just like how Wordsville's "words disappear and nothing can be normal until the word returns" schtick is formulaic.

Is it a stretch? Perhaps. Mileage may vary. I think it's a bit of a stretch, personally. But hey, I'm a grown adult critiquing a ripoff of a kids STEM show. I shouldn't be talking. But I didn't start this fandom nearly 10 years ago just to let Sinking Ship's piss-poor attempt at really capitalizing on one of their biggest franchises sliiiiiide right by me on a floor smooth enough where I'm falling on my ass every 10 seconds.

Luckily, best friends and partners Sage and Chase are on the case and run the only detective agency in town. These tech-savvy sleuths solve mysteries entirely virtually because their reading, listening and digital literacy skills are their greatest strengths. Sage and Chase always catch their culprit and make sure everything is right with the word.

Now where in the McFuck do I start with this one? The PAW Patrol catchphrase thrown in complete with shared name? The fact that there is only one detective agency in the entire town? The fact that Sage and Chase are best friends as well as work partners? Or the pun that made me actively cringe in a way I haven't felt since Whitney told James she wanted to go on the lake?

I mean...this is about Odd Squad, so...I guess the second one sounds most plausible.

But that doesn't need explaining either. There is only one detective agency in town. There is one Odd Squad precinct per city or per state.

No, neither does the third bit. I already referenced Olive and Otto above. You should know what's up.

(I've also read that blurb five times now and...well...we'll get to the digital stuff in a bit. That just needs a whole side-set of word vomit.)

-------------------------------

In my digging of this series -- which, well, wasn't all that much -- I managed to find a few blurbs on our two main characters. The casting call for them, funny enough, called for, and I will quote this exactly, "talent to look 9."

As in, they want the actors to physically look 9 years old.

Which puts that qualifier in the same ballpark as Odd Squad UK's "talent must be Canadian but live in the UK". But at least that prerequisite actually had a legitimate earnest reason behind it, which is that the production needed to be Canadian in a lot more than just the "Canadian prodco works on a British series" sense. Hiring kids who have to physically look 9 years old and will probably be yoted onto the street the second puberty hits them like a truck is a practice not even the most egregious bosses of family-owned-and-operated businesses could pull off.

But enough about the qualifiers. Let's get started on our character comparisons and civil cidiscussion! (Oh the irony...)

And remember this: the casting call was handled by Larissa Mair Casting, who previously did casting for Odd Squad. So that means there will be tinny lil' crumbs of bonus material for me to dissect and discuss! Huzzah! Aw God why can't this happen for Odd Squad UK...man, I'm gonna have to go into my sobbing corner...

First up, we have Sly Sleuth, originally referred to as "Sage" here. I'll also be referring to him as "Sage" in this blog.

Sage is a great detective; thoughtful, extremely logical, and talented at getting information out of people.

Thoughtful of others. Logical. And can wrench information out of suspects like a badass.

Yep, we got an Olive that got hit with an Olando-fied beam. (And because half of you don't know who Olando is: Sage is meant to be a male Olive. I hope that clears things up for you.)

What else?

Nothing related to vocabulary or literacy gets by this investigator. Suspects can underestimate Sage but that is always a mistake. Sage doesn’t scare easily and won’t take no for an answer, traits that make an excellent detective.

You could tell me this was how Olive was meant to be written in "My Better Half", word for word, and I would honestly believe you. Right down to asking, "Her name was Sage in pre-production?"

About the only place I can draw the line here is at Olive not scaring easily. We don't know Sage's backstory -- and once again, this is an episodic series, so don't expect much in the way of plot, backstory included -- but Olive, at least, has a legitimate reason for all the times she covers her ears at loud noises or sharply reacts to something startling.

The former is because of The Censor-Friendly Bullet Massacre of '15.

The latter is because Dalila Bela marched straight out of a viewing of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and never looked back.

I...can't really say either applies to Sage. At least not yet. We'll have to see if Sinking Ship decides to bring Wordsville into its lil' multiverse that Odd Squad and Dino Dana and Endlings and Playdate already share.

Sage is also wise, which is why the name “Sage” is completely appropriate.

Sooooo does that mean his name is Sly because he's cunning like a fox?

Well then in other news, Olive is named such because she was inspired by the famous Law and Order character Olivia Benson. I have fifteen folders that back me right the hell up. Also I contacted Sinking Ship the other day, they explicitly told me.

No, no, but in all seriousness. Olive, too, is very wise. Historian buff, knows her shit about Odd Squad, doo-dah, doo-dah.

Anyway, next up we have Chase, who was renamed to "Gabby Gumshoe". (I'll be referring to her as Chase in this blog, as well.) Let's see what's on the chopping block for her in terms of our favorite food-loving, hella tall, crazy silly blorbo.

Chase is a fantastic detective, but is also goofy[,] funny, visually oriented, and, like the name suggests, loves the “chase”.

Now there's a man who got hit with a yassified beam, right there.

I'll leave it up to you folks whether you consider Otto to be "visually oriented". But in terms of "loving the chase"...yeah, I'd say that fits.

To lay it down: Otto is a rookie agent. Common sense would lead anyone to assume that he has an absolute blast solving odd cases and absorbing every bit of knowledge about Odd Squad that he possibly can. He finds out a villain's on the loose? He's right there, by Olive's side, workin' to catch 'em. He finds out oddness has run rampant throughout the town? He's right on that shit.

Chase, on the other hand, is someone I wouldn't call a rookie. It's made quite evident that she is, for all intents and purposes, seasoned. Seasoned enough that she manages to keep the detective agency she works for afloat and get approval from the others in Wordsville, Sage included. This, perhaps, is because she's not really meant to be an audience surrogate in the same way Otto is. Otto, at least for the first few episodes, serves as a way to ease the audience into Odd Squad and show them what the organization is and what they do without yoting them into it and leaving them asking "Where am I?" more times than a drunkard. Chase doesn't fill that role, because it could be argued that such a show like Wordsville doesn't really need an audience surrogate. Whether that's true, though, remains to be seen.

People tend to underestimate this investigator, but Chase often notices things like a chocolate stain when someone said they didn’t like chocolate or a squiggle of icing that turns out to be the antonym of the word they’re tracking.

Y' take Otto's...Otto's love of food...and y' put it in a gorl...and BAM you got a character.

...

That isn't a joke. It's dead-on serious. Even the casting call script pins Chase as a kid with a sweet tooth! It's just Otto but with a less diverse palate! Otto eats everything! This kid eats sweets! God sakes, give her some juice, make her Oprah, I don't give a shit, fucking hell I'm driving 50 minutes to Burger Ki-

Chase is also great with computers and incredibly artistic. A graphic note taker[,] Chase loves to draw, has a great eye for details, is a big fan of the “zoom in” function, and really enjoys creating animated re-enactments of Word Mysteries.

All right, we finally have somewhere we can draw the line.

No, not at being tech-literate. With being artistic.

Otto's artistic talent kind of varies throughout the franchise. In drawing on paper, he's pretty solid for an I-just-recently-turned-10-please-praise-me-year-old. In making paper airplanes, he's solid enough to take down a grown-ass man and rock his sunglasses when he's done for.

In computer drawing...well...if you can believe it, concepts like Ibispaint and Photoshop don't exist in the world of Odd Squad. (Okay, maaaaybe Photoshop does. I don't think it does. But it could be a good in-universe justification for it.)

We don't know Otto's digital artist merit because we never see him make any digital art. All of his art is solely non-digital. On Chase's side of things, she lives in an era where digital drawing is, like in real life, the norm. It's a contrast that might be one of the more glaring ones when it comes to comparing these two shows.

Now, as for the "creating animated re-enactments" schtick...if that isn't an excuse for Sinking Ship to work their animation magic after the Sandy Cheeks movie, then I honestly don't know what is. If you wanted to make the show animated, you could have made it animated. Would've been cheaper, too!

(And "Word Mysteries"...it's not as grating as Wild Kratts's "Wow Fact", but it's edging pretty close. I blame WNET. That's solely a PBS thing right there. TVO Kids would never.)

----------------

So we've gotten the discussion about the two main characters out of the way. Now we can dive into the heartier meat. The kind where's it's purple on the inside but you still digest it anyway.

I'm talking, of course, about the sample scripts- script. Singular. There is one script. Uno.

Now, lemme give you a bit of a rundown: casting calls for Odd Squad -- really, most shows, but this is a blog about Odd Squad -- often come with sample scripts. This is so talents can read their parts aloud for the camera and have the tape submitted to the casting agency for consideration. Odd Squad in particular has had quite an interesting ride with sample scripts, from entire episode plots being adapted into final products (with a bit of tweaking) to characters having names different than what they're named in the final product (which is the case with both Sly and Gabby). They're nothing on the scale of ABC Me dropping episodes earlier than PBS or shorts getting dropped as an alleged April Fools prank, but they're pretty damn good crumbs to chew on.

The sample script starts out with Sage and Chase on, of course, a video call. (Sinking Ship made a Zoom reference once. Pray they do not make another by the name of a friendly drug called "Speed" or that term for peeing known as a "Whiz".) Chase explains that she just gave her office chair's wheels a tune-up, which, of course, makes her hungry. Hungry enough that she declares a "cookie break" and immediately takes out a ginormous cookie from hammerspace that just made the European bakery down the street from me start sobbing. (Look, they make good cookies. Giant cookies. Cookies I need two hands just to hold properly. Trust me, it's- it's massive.)

However, when she bites into the cookie, she finds that it tastes absolutely gross -- "not sweet, not even sour". While she ponders if her body has forcefully rejected one of the best sweet treats known to humankind, Sage begins to grow suspicious and asks if it's a Word Mystery they need to solve.

Which is, coincidentally enough, when the Main Street Baker calls in a fit of hysteria, explaining that their "delicious donuts" are gone. And because we can't take enough from Odd Squad, we get a bit of "literal humor" in the form of the donuts both being delicious (probably) and them spelling the word "delicious" prior to their disappearance. After Sage explains what "delicious" means as well as what synonyms are, it's shown that the culprit also struck other pastries, up to and including gingerbread people, which Sage absolutely takes personally because he's a kid of pure culture who gives a big "fuck you" to holiday-specific treats being enjoyed only during said holidays.

Chase, in true Otto fashion, decides to take more bites of her cookie and instantly regrets it. Sage, in true...well...Clint Eastwood fashion (I shit you not, that's literally what it says in the script), declares that they need to find the word "delicious" and fix the pastries.

And...yeah, that's about it. Like I said, there's really not much to go on with casting call sample scripts. Especially not ones from Larissa Mair.

My conclusive thoughts on it, you ask? Well...they can try to hide it, but all it's doing is enforcing my point. From the Main Street Baker having donuts missing similar to how the Town Baker had bagels missing in "Soundcheck", to Chase being an idiot who is obsessed with food the same way Otto is (right down to his willingness to drink Odd Todd's pickle juice when it tasted gross in "Bad Lemonade"!), even down to the "literal metaphor" kind of humor as it applies to singular words. Am I stretching? Perhaps. But these supposedly insignificant pieces are just part of the bigger picture, the larger issue at hand in this long-winded piece.

------------------

The digital aspect of Wordsville is one of the ways they decided to put a twist on the precedent that Odd Squad set. And it's so blatant and in-your-face that it's on par with shoving a red flag in someone's eyes to blind them.

But here's the thing. The digital aspect been done. Amusingly enough, by the same company.

Lockdown is a show that fits right in with the others at the Shows-Made-During-the-COVID-Pandemic-About-the-COVID-Pandemic club. It was a way to capitalize on something in society that probably will never be relevant again until around 2050. Maybe even earlier than that, at the rate we're going.

I haven't seen it, so I can't speak much about it, but from my side of things it looks a lot like Unfriended if it took place during the pandemic and wasn't a horror movie and involved teens and not young adults/adults/I haven't seen the movie in many years bite me.

But the main difference between Lockdown and Wordsville, relevant to this editorial, is that Lockdown has a legitimate reason to be shot entirely on electronic devices. It's part of the plot. It works, I'm sure. For Wordsville, it makes no sense for the outline and isn't just limiting, but is downright insulting for something "rooted in the 21st century". It's good to be unique when making a show, but there's such a thing as trying too hard to be unique to the point where it's detrimental to your show's quality. Making the show be a digital-only angle isn't a smart move, especially for a detective procedural.

And if it's trying to differentiate itself from Odd Squad...well, do I got some bad news for you.

The show already did an entire Zoom parody in the span of an 11-minute episode.

And I still hate it with all the vitriol of an old woman who hates kids playing with beach balls in the yard pool. It sucks ass. It's entirely unneeded when you have three children sitting around the same table. I could vomit on you all day about it. But at least it's far more justified than Wordsville having its entire formula based on it. You can rip off a show without being limiting.

(don't. seriously. don't.)

------------------

Before we get to the conclusion, I need to dive deep into Odd Squad's own popularity and explain it a little more beyond just little "trust me bro" tidbits.

If you've been following it for as long as I have, then it's no secret that Odd Squad is one of Sinking Ship's cash-cow franchises. You've got the main series, six different spinoffs, a live show, a book...and I didn't even provide a whole damn list! Point being, it's huge. It doesn't have many roots in pop culture, but from a certain angle, it is an absolutely massive franchise that continues to grow, even in spite of its controversies.

Unlike works such as SpongeBob or Bluey, Odd Squad isn't popular enough to get bonafide ripoffs. The formula is relatively easy to copy, and if anything there are shows that have a similar premise but aren't even close to ripoff territory (K.C. Undercover, for example). It's just that, for all the ripoffs people have done of shows and movies over the years, the motivation for industry bigwigs in taking Odd Squad and running with it just...isn't there. I can connect it to Disney or Dreamworks or Viacom all I want, but at best they have a vague awareness of it that only goes as far as "oh, that's a thing, I guess". At worst, they see it as a pile of shit that would never turn a decent profit.

It could be argued that Sinking Ship wasn't all too well-known in the entertainment sphere up until Odd Squad came around. Looking at their resume doesn't show all too much in the way of what's popular. This is Daniel Cook, Roll Play, Playdate...they don't stick in your head, right? Yeah, none of them stick in my head either. Odd Squad was their first big hit for them, something that really helped them gain ground as a company. It's the one that's pretty much linked with Sinking Ship in news articles. Like husband and wife, but for the TV industry.

But to Hollywood bigwigs, that means about as much as finding a stick on the ground. I guaran-goddamn-tee Bob Iger is not going to put his grubby little hands on the funny kids math franchise and twist the hell out of it. The only way that's happening is if you run "Odd Squad, but make it Disney" through an AI generator. (Which, for the record, I have not done. You can't really replicate Odd Squad characters in animation without making them look like they walked out of yet another Law and Order spinoff that's far more kid-friendly.)

However, even with Odd Squad's varying popularity, there are shows that go just a little beyond having a similar premise to it but don't dive into ripoff territory. Sort of like a next step up.

A long time ago, a few friends and I in an Odd Squad Discord server were discussing the show Numberjacks. You know, that show that Jacknjellify may or may not have used as inspiration for Four's design? Yeah, that's the bitch.

The show has a few similarities to Odd Squad. You've got the focus on math, a system for exiting the couch headquarters that's similar to the tube system, and even the existence of kid agents and incredibly odd villains, one of which, need I remind you, Twitter tried to make into a sexyman for all of two days to varying degrees of success.

I will admit, I haven't seen Numberjacks in several years. In fact, the last time I saw it was when it was brought up as an Odd Squad ripoff. If I recall correctly, the episode that I picked to watch on a whim was "Seaside Adventure", wherein a few numbers take a vacation and trouble occurs. Or something like that. I really can't remember many details.

One thing I do remember, though, is distinctly thinking that I could see the Odd Squad similarities, but...it's not a ripoff. The series premiered in 2006. By that point, Tim McKeon and Adam Peltzman were off on their own ventures as they wrote for cartoons and other things. Thus, Odd Squad hadn't been birthed yet. If anything, Odd Squad took cues from Numberjacks, not the other way around -- but even with the existence of Odd Squad UK, we don't know that for sure. I don't even know how popular Numberjacks was in the UK. I'm a dumb lil' American, not a Daphne-Moon-esque English woman.

Since then, I haven't found anything that has come close to what Wordsville aims to accomplish. Granted, though, I have not looked very hard. I'm moreso keeping an eye on PBS to see if they're going to try and rip off Odd Squad rather than keeping an eye on any random B-lister studio. (And no, I'm not talking about WNET. They are a PBS station, but I'm referring to PBS as a whole entire network, not a sole affiliate.)

------------------------

So the question remains: is Wordsville an Odd Squad ripoff?

Yes. On multiple counts. Right down to the name inspo. Guilty as charged. Right to jail.

From it being for the 4-7 demo not unlike Odd Squad's own 4-8 demo, to Sage and Chase being referred to as "Word Detectives" in lieu of "agents", to it being a detective procedural not unlike Odd Squad and its spinoffs, to the synopsis of the show being described as having "a case rooted in a vocabulary lesson" similar to Odd Squad having episodes rooted in STEM lessons, to it actively encouraging the audience to solve mysteries along with Sage and Chase...to Sage and Chase having alliterative theme naming...

Yeah, safe to say, we've got ourselves a ripoff.

There's no denying that Odd Squad is a fantastic franchise. Even through all of its issues, including financial controversies, heavy criticism, and mistreatment from PBS, it has remained strong for nearly 10 years, and will stay strong for many more. Maybe one of these days, it will plant roots deeper into pop culture and become one hell of a phenomenon. We'll have to see.

But the fact that Sinking Ship Entertainment has to resort to borrowing a concept that is unique in its nature, a concept that has already been done, a concept that has been given life and creativity by the people who birthed it, and then try to pass it off as its own original IP is not a good look on them. It's been done similarly before with their other big franchise, Dino Dan -- key word being "similarly" because it's one show and three spinoffs focusing on different characters. That isn't the case with Wordsville, though.

Put it this way: it's a company ripping off not someone else's IP, like many other companies have done and continue to do. It's a company ripping off their own IP.

And really, it doesn't matter how it's done. Stealing is stealing. At the end of the day, all it shows is a complete lack of creativity and a complete craving for the almighty dollar. More so if it's a company stealing from themselves and passing it along as okay.

In spite of this, however, I am perfectly willing to give Wordsville a shot when it comes out. Not so much to see if it's good (though my curiosity is piqued), and definitely not to hate-watch (which has the opposite intended effect on a show or movie), but to see just how far Sinking Ship is willing to push the envelope in affirming viewers and industry buddies alike that this is not, by any and all accounts, a copy of Odd Squad. I want to spot similarities. I want to take whiskey shots until I can do a zoom-zoom to a hospital and then ask if they've got a bottle on board the rig. I want to give a full, I-watched-this-show-now-here-are-my-overall-final-thoughts addendum on the entire issue.

As of now, Wordsville has no narrow timeframe. All I know is that it's releasing this year, likely on TVO Kids in Canada. Whether PBS as a whole will adopt it into its roster -- and if anything, it'll be WNET-exclusive, otherwise we would've heard something about it at the TCA Winter Press Tour a few days back -- for American audiences remains yet to be seen. Rest assured, though, that I'll be keeping an eye on it and rushing to it as soon as the first episode drops. After that, I'll give a proper addendum so I can finally put this issue to bed. Along with myself. Revenge bedtime procrastination is a bitch.

Thanks for reading. This honestly started out as something silly, but then I became analytical. So you got a mix of both in this one. This may or may not be the norm. Day-by-day, y'know?

Seren out.

[carnalhaus]

any more facts on praline? she has me captivated, god what a good fucking character.

here’s some stuff !!!!

praline is very charismatic, which is surprising because she’s not particularly nice. she’s just very extroverted and has this weird ability to captivate people with her weirdness. it’s cause she’s very finicky and out of the blue with conversations, if you bring up something she doesn’t wanna talk about or give her a boring answer, she’ll change the topic without even acknowledging it. she likes making conversation with strangers and asking them questions about their life and then telling them their name is stupid and whatnot, but she’s a pretty girl and she’s smiling and she looks genuine so people usually don’t know what to think.

she has middle aged man humor and i think that’s part of the reason she can’t get along with people her own age. she likes hardly know her jokes. it’s ironic to get a laugh out of older people but she genuinely finds it entertaining. she just finds weird childish and out of date things funny.

i’ve mentioned this on other platforms but praline got held back in school when she was very little because she had numerous developmental delays (due to parental neglect). she couldn’t read when she was supposed to, among other things. and even as she grew up, she had a lot of learning difficulties when it came to math and english. she was really good at science though.

a big problem for her is she’s very volatile, and can get aggressive at the drop of a hat when she feels rejected because she doesn’t know how else to express herself appropriately. if she feels rejected in any way, she can very easily reject the person back and want nothing to do with them. you do have to be very conscious of what you say and how you act around her because if you don’t know how she reacts to things, there’s a chance she can have an outburst. stat definitely understands her best and honestly it’s not very hard to keep her calm when you just listen to her. she’s also very smart and she can tell when someone thinks negatively of her, and that can set her off.

along with the last one, she’s very attention seeking. she seeks a lot of praise but since she doesn’t really get that normally due to a lot of her offputting behavior, she usually resorts to searching for negative attention. as an example, she used to hang out with older boys who were a bad influence a lot, even those who might hurt her, just so sledge could come save her if something happened and get mad at her for it. we all know how that stuff went bc he’s stupid (he is stupid and did not scold her nor offer her support) but she still does similar things sometimes currently, just to a much lesser degree.

[arathejedi394]

hi

so a little while ago in an ao3 note I mentioned my grandma not doing well. of my grandparents, both of my grandfathers died before I was 10, but my two grandmothers lived past that. I'm talking about my mom's mom in this post. my dad's mom passed away semi-unexpectedly about 2 or 3 years ago, and she was the ideal grandma. mom's mom died about a month ago. my mother and I were driving from our home state to hers the day it happened, we had maybe 40% of the trip completed and my uncle called to say it had happened. this grandma was racist, homophobic, transphobic, all the bad things you could think of. and she was mean. i lived with her for 6 months back in 2018 with the intention of making her life easier but what she did was make my mental illnesses worse. nothing I did for her was worthy of even a "you completed the task as instructed." she was 110% probably abused growing up bc her father did the nasty to my mother when she was a child, so no doubt he did it to my grandma, first. she survived breast cancer. she raised my mother who finished a master's degree in math shit. she failed to protect my mother from her father. it was my fucking luck that he died before I was born, even though I doubt my mother would have let him near me, and even still, what he did to my mother caused her to accidentally abuse me in a nasty way. i grew up assured in my place as her least favorite grandchild. and i was the grandchild to do the most for her; my two cousins who lived nearby would visit her, but for six months I was her maid and personal punching bag. i never made it out of last place despite that. i have a lot of conflicted feelings. i think about how I idolized her as a child and the next second remember her talking to a friend about the dark dangerous path her friend's granddaughter was going on by being a lesbian. i never came out to her, while the rest of my family I allowed to know. i let her see my beard a few times near the end, but she kept commenting that I should shave it off no matter how much I said I liked it.

and yannow the worst part? nothing to do with my grandmother's choices. my mother and her brother both had daughters in 1999 (one was me) but my uncle had one first and he picked the name of a family member. but my mother had been meaning to use that name for her first "daughter" (sike on her she has no daughters now just 2 1/2 sons plus 1/2 unholy offspring) so 10 months after my cousin's birth she named me the exact same thing. so I grew up knowing I was just the knock-off version of a granddaughter to my grandma. that her first granddaughter would always be better at everything bc I was the knockoff. i grew up as a matched set with "this one is always the 2nd place option" printed on my forehead. and I always felt that that was how my grandma saw me. always the last choice and always not enough compared to my cousin with the same fucking name. i managed one (1) feat big enough to satisfy her to the point where she talked about it regularly, and that was p u b l i s h i n g a n e n t i r e b o o k. oh other grandkid got an A on one test? celebrate. me, publishes an entire book, gets a review from fucking Hank Green?that's worth a thumbs up. a few brags to friends. not that much in the long run.

i don't know how to feel about her death. I'm thinking of trying to contact her using my spirit board and pendulum, but I'm not sure. she had no idea who I was. all she ever knew was the generic brand version of her ideal granddaughter. part of me wants to call her up and gloat over all the things I became that she hated, how it's fulfilling my life and brings me joy and she was wrong about. or try to actually connect with her for the first time now that she's had her beliefs about Christianity destroyed that maybe she'll be more willing to listen with that having happened. part of me thinks she's probably been reincarnated as something so low she won't be able to talk to me. some part of me just never wants to find out. idk.

[do-u-know-this-autisticcharacter]

Do You Know This (Non-canon) Autistic Character?

Evidence is this Tumblr post! What it says about Sayaka below the cut!

Deadpan, forthright, and unapologetically candid, Kanamori never hesitates to voice her thoughts, no matter how harsh or unvarnished they may be. She is often deemed as impolite, ruthless or severely intimidating (by adults and peers her age alike), and is jokingly compared to the likes of the Yakuza. She’s regarded with a degree of caution, due to her unwavering no-nonsense attitude and the fact that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants, phone camera at the ready to capture any slip up that could potentially be used as blackmail later. Survival is her top priority, looking out for herself and whoever might be left behind unfairly by circumstance. She has a steadfast mind for business and strong work ethic, openly admitting to her desire for monetary compensation (or other favors and methods of payment, such as milk or food) for even the smaller and most mundane of tasks, and won’t shy away from charging fellow members of the club as well.

She firmly holds the belief that friendship is an idealized and glorified notion. To her, individuals referred to as "friends" are often mere products of chance, brought together by shared interests and nothing more. Sayaka adamantly refrains from using the term "friend" and readily corrects anyone who mistakenly categorizes her coworkers or those she spends time with as such. She befittingly conveyed this perspective of hers to Midori on the very day they first crossed paths, and this prompted Midori to freely opt out of using the label entirely as well, instead referring to her closest peers as “comrades” ever since.

Regardless of this, Sayaka prefers to achieve a level of coexistence, as she personally describes it, with those she truly cares about, such as the few other club members. While not explicitly considering the girls as her friends, her actions reveal a deep concern for their well-being. She often watches over them, remains by their side and is ready to defend them and their cause whenever necessary. A significant reason the club came to be in the first place is Sayaka's recognition of her classmates' immense artistic potential. She encouraged them to establish their own independent studio, enabling them to create their animated films, attain recognition, and reap profits from their efforts.

In her role as their producer, she's primarily motivated by financial gain, but as she reviews Midori's and Tsubame's work, she ensures they always have the option to do their job efficiently and avoid overexerting themselves if they ever choose to do so. She’s equally supportive of their goals and will often assure them that their art is more than good enough. She insists that their work is already impressive; therefore, they could forgo so much self-imposed pressure and stop doubting their abilities or attaching undue importance to others' unhelpful criticisms, as these are often incongruent with their own artistic sensibilities and convictions.

Sayaka lacks interest and doesn’t possess much insight about art herself, yet she is more than willing to learn from her team to become a better producer. Aside from having a keen eye for business since her early childhood (despite being bad at math), she also appears to be quite knowledgeable in a wide variety of topics, and will take people by surprise whenever she starts rambling about the ins-and-outs of something that’s relevant at any given moment. One time, someone pointed out that Kanamori wasn’t at all different from Asakusa on this regard, to which Tsubame responded with a simple and knowing “yup”.

She can be seen idly cracking the knuckles of her right hand every now and then, and rarely displays a different emotion as she goes about her day donning a neutral grimace on her face. Kanamori almost only ever smiles when she’s getting paid, when friendly mocking someone, or when she’s in the middle of twisting someone’s arm to hers and the club’s advantage.

[wretcheddoll]

Get to know your mutuals!

Tagged by: @tulinokkaelain <3!

What’s the origin of your username?: My username is a reference to the Switchblade Symphony song Dollhouse "In the attic is where I'll hide" is also a reference to that song.

OTP(s) + ship name: Marius/Armand if that wasn't obvious lol, they're the best and I'm a Marimand truther.

Favorite color: Black, I also like purple, black, and red paired together.

Song stuck in your head: I guess Dollhouse cause I was just thinking about it.

Weirdest habit/trait: Like stimming and general autism spectrum stuff, like when I'm sitting in a chair my legs need to be hiked up to my chest to feel comfortable like El from Deathnote lol

Hobbies: Vampires lol, idk I really need to get back into some of my old hobbies cause I feel like I don't so anything anymore :/ But I am interested in the Goth subculture, historical fashion, and yes vampires lol. I want to get back into drawing and music.

If you work, what’s your profession?: Don't have a degree yet but I work at a gift boutique.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: When I was little I wanted to be a truck driver lol, I also was trying to pursue a degree in animation which I still love, but I one, don't think I have the art skills necessary, and two, think that profession is just getting more and more hellish for workers. So I still don't know what I want to do.

Something you’re good at: I honestly don't think I'm good at anything I really don't know. 😭

Something you hate: Cognitive Dysfunction and the downsides of ADHD. 😵‍💫

Something you collect: Plushies!! I love Jellycats we sell them at my work, and I have fallen hook line and sinker for the craze, I love the Halloween ones so much! I bought two of them as a birthday present to myself lol. Also I collect art books, I have the WolfWalkers and Adventure Time art books, and Gorillaz Rise of the Ogre (not really and artbook but I consider it one) I also collect gothic clothing if that counts? I have two thrifted pieces of Tripp and I want to further my corset collection. Dark alternative clothing is valuable to me, so I see as more of a collection than just a regular wardrobe. I would love to start collecting dolls definitely Living Dead Dolls. but any old vintage dolls are cool to me.

Something you forget: Anytime I'm doing a task and I get distracted from it for a second, I swear it's like I forget everything I was doing.

What’s your love language?: I don't like the love language thing cause it's fake, but if I had to choose, I would say quality time.

Favorite movie/show: Hmmm, I feel like I always forget about all the movies I like when asked 🫠 Nosferatu really blew me away. Interview with the Vampire (the 90s film!!) of course, probably the first vampire film for adults I ever saw. All time classics to me are Cartoon Saloon's Irish mythology trilogy of animated films, Aventure Time also is a show that basically raised me lol, it was such a formative piece of media to my child brain, same with Over the Garden Wall. I feel like I'm missing a lot of stuff I love but I can never remember when asked. 😭 There's so many films I haven't seen that I know I would love so that's also the thing.

Favorite food: Burgers and fries, sushi, and Mexican definitely my go tos.

Favorite animal: Bats! I love owls too but bats #1.

What were you like as a child?: Autistic 😐 like either really quite or on the verge of a meltdown with no chill. 😭

Favorite subject at school: Probably world history or English.

Least favorite subject: My nemesis math.

What’s your best character trait?: I think I'm a nice person, I genuinely love to know people's stories and make their day better even if I'm socially awkward.

What’s your worst character trait?: I think I can be selfish and way too addicted to personal comforts, if I was a deadly sin I would be sloth personified lol.

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet: Hmm idk who I would want to meet per say but time traveling into the past seems like the coolest thing ever, I mean just to visit of course I know the past was shitty for most people. But it would be so cool to learn about the past by actually going there.

Tagging: @sellycarcosa @empiresofyourheart @paintaboveyourbones @pain-in-the-butler (if you want lol)

[devilssacrament]

okay! its my turn!

its time to go back to school!

which hockey is teaching

history

maths

science

literature

art

gym

music

choose and explain your reasoning!

oh that one's super fun!! let's see

nico for sure teaches history. he said in an interview that he loves watching a documentary and I have therefore deduced he's a nerd. he's very passionate about bringing history closer to his students and he does so exceptionally well. his classes are always super fun, there's always some kind of interactive thing going on to help make everything a bit more interesting. also, sweater vests. soft wool pullovers. glasses. everyone has a crush on him.

I'm going to say johnny for maths. mainly because he's a nerd who went to harvard and actually got a degree. and also I miss him. maths isn't all that interesting (sorry I'm a hater) but he does his best to make it accessible for everyone. he's good at coming up with real life examples of where you would use these things. in his class no kid gets left behind. he knows not everyone is going to excel in maths but he refuses to let his kids struggle on their own.

stay with me here. dawson as science teacher. he makes sure his students know the theory but by god will there be explosions. he's a kid at heart so whenever the students ask him to do experiments he can't say no. there have been a few minor fires, and trips to the emergency shower for his students, but everyone is always in good spirits when leaving his classes. even if they have to wear their gym clothes cause the sprinkler turned on from a smoke cloud they couldn't air out fast enough.

literature. I'm not convinced very many hockeys know how to read. I'm going with jonas. he seems like he's a smart guy who reads books. he's very good at letting students come up with the wildest interpretations of the things they read as long as they can back them up with textual evidence. he always has kids read passages of books or plays out loud, encouraging them to really get into it.

for art I'm saying luke. I think that's fairly self-explanatory given what he said in that NHL 25 shoot. he knows his stuff. he's probably more of a modern art kinda guy. photography. experimental stuff. he does make sure his students all master the basics though. he's NOT going to let one of his students become a meme for their lack of knowledge on colour theory.

jack as the gym teacher everyone also has a crush on. in his case it's mostly because of his pretty face. he does his best to meet every kid where they're at physically, doesn't force people to do something they're uncomfortable with, and encourages everyone to always do their best. he does push his students a lot, much to their annoyance, but he never pushes too far. he knows their hard limits. he can still be a bit of a cunt, especially when he sees kids getting bullied.

I'm thinking of a school of rock type deal with music teacher nate. he basically ignores the syllabus but at the end of the year the kids still have learned more about music than anyone with a different music teacher. he lets the kids rock on only if they have proven to treat the instruments right and how to not make it sound like copulating hedgehogs. his classes always put on an end-of-the-year show and it's always a blast.

I think that was everything. it took me a while to figure it out but I'm pretty happy with my choices. thanks for the ask this was a lot of fun!!!

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Ahem…Sodapop anon is back…

Um I’m starting my freshman spring semester of college and I’m kind of freaking out. I’m not like- super duper smart. But I think I have a solid head at times. My dad wants me to become an English teacher although I hesitate having to do that.

But anyway the point of this is that I’m freaking out because I feel like maybe college isn’t for me. Like yes I can write a decent sentence but I’m NOT a writer. I just know how to bullshit really well. I can’t create anything out of nothing the way that others can. And it’s not just my writing classes that I’m freaking out about. It’s also my math course that I have to take. I’m just- I’m average smart. I am who you go to when you need to be comforted or you need help with history. I’m not this fancy pants like- Charles dickens or whatever.

Idk I think I’m feeling like maybe it was a mistake going to college. Cause I’m afraid of messing up and wasting money that’s already tight. And that maybe I’m not very smart for it.Any thoughts?

Sodapop anon i love you so much you bring out my big sister instincts like no other 💜

First of all, I want to say that college isn’t the end all be all of life. There are so many paths you can take and so many chances to discover what makes you happy and what makes you feel fulfilled. College isn’t the path for everyone and it’s 100% okay if it isn’t for you. That said, I think you might be selling yourself short. Not everyone who applies even gets in to college- you’re probably a lot smarter than you think. And smarts really and truly aren’t everything in college. You can be the smartest person in the room but it means nothing if you can’t cultivate a good work ethic and take charge of asking questions when you’re struggling with something. Point is, you’re smarter than you think but smarts really truly aren’t everything when it comes to post secondary education. I understand the fear of failure and the worry about wasting money, I face those same fears all the time and I’m almost three years into my degree. If you really don’t think college is for you that’s okay and it’s good to realize that’s but if it’s something you think you’d even want to try, I think you should go for it. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust you’ll land where you’re meant to. But you need to live your life for yourself Soda anon, not for your dad. If you think being an English teach would make you happy then go for it! But if it’s not your passion and you think it will make you miserable then find something else you WANT to do. You’ll almost definitely succeed easier when you’re studying or training to do something you’re genuinely interested in.

Whatever path you take and whatever choices you make just know that I am cheering you on and that I’m proud of you. Navigating this stage of life isn’t easy, and you’re doing your best. That’s all you can do 💜

Outsiders headcanon to make you feel better: One time when he and Steve were younger they wrestling and accidentally knocked a lamp off the coffee table and broke it. Darry helped them superglue it back together before their parents got home and it was YEARS before Mrs.Curtis noticed, and when she did she thought it was Mr.Curtis who’d done it because she thought it was glued too carefully for any of her sons to have done it.

Thanks for the ask lovely. Best of luck xx

[greetings-inferiors]

Hey, I realize you do like maths. As someone who didnt go through highschool but got a highschool degree with only REALLY BASIC maths knowledge, I wanna ask: - Any advice or recommendations for someone who wants/needs to catch up/go from elementary to highschool maths ASAP many years after dropping the subject?

It seems to be an interesting subject but I had teachers that were so bad at teaching and so good at shaming and traumatizing that it blocked me and made me avoid maths like the plague, I do want to start over with maths and try again while making it a good experience this time, I need advice. Pls help. (anonymous cause embarrassed to admit I can barely get around with the basic 4 operations and begin getting lost when it goes into fractions, decimals, porcentages etc, and as a college student I should know advanced stuff like factoration and complex expressions by now)

I am incredibly blessed with the fact that I love maths, and had great teachers. I don’t really know how to get good at maths because by the time I was actually conscious about liking maths, I was already pretty good at it. I never had that thing of having to be better, because I’ve always just been good at it, and the things that I didn’t know I enjoyed learning so I just learnt them.

The problem with having to relearn something is that you FEEL like you’re better than you are. I stopped learning Japanese for a few months, and when I come back to it, I’ll have to go over basic kanji again, my brain tells me that I know it, but I don’t. I need to go over the basics, but before I learnt the basics with the spark of learning pushing me through. Now I’ve got to essentially revise something I forgot. It sucks.

What I’d recommend, is by jumping into the deep end. There are lots of maths videos on YouTube, and they’re really interesting, but you won’t understand anything. But that’s fine, because the things you don’t understand, you can watch videos about those. And the parts of those you don’t understand you can research into that. It may not be the most efficient way to learn, but eventually you will. Trial by fire and all that, and it might be more fun because you’re looking at stuff that interests you! You’ll find that the simple stuff actually has rather complex and interesting explanations, which I find really cool.

If you want to relearn quickly, then you just have to study. It sucks, but that’s just how it is. I don’t know what elementary school is, I assume it’s 11-14, and high school probably means gcse, which is 15-16.

Some basic tips:

Think of the operators as logically as possible. When you see 5x15, literally think of 15 added together 5 times. Think of 6/20 as 6 lots of 1/20 (which itself is 0.05. Maybe even think of it as 1/2 times 1/10.) basically just think of the operators as simply as possible until you’re able to think of them as their own thing. Then you can start introducing indices, square roots, etc.

Don’t be afraid of using a calculator (learning how to use a calculator effectively will massively boost your mathematical literacy).

write everything down (don’t rely on your mental maths. If you literally have to do every single equation on a piece of paper (assuming calculators aren’t allowed), do it. Never trust your mental maths until you’re certain that you’ve got good mental maths. Seriously, 90% of mistakes come from trying to make a shortcut in your head and messing up. Many people, my self included in the past, see writing down your working out as a sign of weakness, it isn’t.

Try to avoid the divisor symbol as much as possible, it isn’t actually an operator, it’s shorthand for fractions (the dots are placeholders for the things in front and behind). Honestly, you should prioritise getting comfortable with fractions. They’re really useful, especially in algebra.

If you get good at algebra, you’ll be good at almost everything maths can throw at you. Being able to rearrange equations is a skill that you will literally never not use. It also helps you with regular number equations because you can think of the numbers as variables. It sounds weird or as if you’re complicating it, but it can help.

(A/B)*C=(A*C)/B. It’s surprising how useful it is, and how often I’ll forget about it lmao

Look into geometry! Everything you do in maths can and has been described with shapes. And for some people that can help them visualise it! If shapes help you with maths, look into shapes! Geometry!

Factorisation is essentially just the reverse of multiplication. (2*5*7)=70, therefore the prime factors of 70 are 2,5, and 7. The same applies to algebra. Just think of what could be multiplied together to make x^2+3x+2. And hey, there’s a really handy formula for finding out the factors of quadratics that I highly recommend memorising if you think you’ll need it!

And most of all: try and have fun! Basic maths can be very tedious, but think of it like learning a language. Once you get the alphabet (numbers) and grammar (operators) out of the way, you’ll start to see all of the complex words and phrases you can create, and understand. And, best of all, you will NEVER stop learning, so you may as well start now!

[mrhaitch]

hi mr haitch!! i have a question (or questions)!! so i think it’s pretty cool that you have a phd (especially in something literature related (i think??)) cause that’s what i wanna do as well, so is it okay if i ask for some advice??

i’m in my final year of my english lit undergrad and i’m freaking out a little cause of ma/phd applications. do you have any general advice for someone wanting to go into that field? also i’m really really worried cause im beginning to feel like my gpa isn’t good enough for me to get into a good school. (and part of the reason i’m asking you on anonymous is because the prospect of admitting that to any of my real life professors or advisors is utterly humiliating.) the thing is, i know i’m a really good student and i’m really good at what i do. i know that whatever sample essays and writing that i submit for my applications are going to be really good. i’m a research assistant, i’ve presented at postgrad conferences, and i know i’ll get glowing recommendation letters. (sorry if i sound unbearably arrogant).

but i’m sort of really terrified about my gpa. my cumulative gpa is 3.4, so that means that even if i get a 4.0 gpa for my remaining two semesters, my cumulative won’t go above 3.6 at most. unfortunately, there was one semester where there were a few extenuating circumstances that caused my grades to drop, and on top of that, my university has a sort of general education system in the first year, where you have to take modules outside of the major you’re pursuing. so having to take maths and other sciences really didn’t help my gpa. but overall, my gpa has never dropped below 3.00 in any of my semesters, and i’m an honours student.

so my question is, how much does all of this actually matter in terms of applications? does it matter if my cumulative isn’t that good if my gpa for most of my individual semesters is okay and my transcript makes it obvious that i do well for the most part in the modules that relate directly to my degree? i mean, i’m not expecting to get into like oxford with that low of a gpa (but i’m still going to apply and then be disappointed at my rejection) but is it “okay” to not be the top student grade-wise, if everything else in my application points towards me being pretty good? i’m just so scared that i won’t get into any good schools at all. i keep having actual nightmares about me getting rejected from all the places i apply to, i probably haven’t slept in a week.

i know this is long, and i’m sorry if it’s a lot, but i would really, really appreciate your advice.

- a really stressed out and anxious undergraduate

Depends on your university, essentially. My grades were far from stellar (quite average in a lot of ways, as I oscillated wildly from being high achieving to barely attending).

My advice for anyone wanting to pursue a PhD is this: find a good supervisor. Ignore the university itself, look at who you want to learn from. Not just professionally or academically, but as a person. I was ridiculously, insanely lucky to meet my supervisor through my MA programme where he taught novel writing. We quickly discovered we were kindred spirits in a lot of ways, seeing things on similar lines. He liked my work and I appreciated how direct and insightful his feedback was.

Because of that he could and would go to bat for me, and you need that. If your grades aren't at the usual level, a good prospective supervisor can override those concerns. If you've got a good proposal, and you can get your ideas across in an interview well, then you can still get there regardless of where your grades are.

In my case - actually - my proposal was pretty vague, and kind of terrible in hindsight. It was more like a shopping list of things I was interested in at the time, but I was fortunate they asked for a sample of my creative work - according to my supervisor that was all the evidence he needed to push for me to get a place.

And if you don't get in on your first attempt, there will be other opportunities. As an undergrad my dissertation was supervised by a guy who worked in construction for thirty or forty years who chose to retrain through the Open University and work as an academic for the last few years of my life.

Just take a deep breath and arm yourself as best you can. You've got this.

[acewithapaintbrush]

Combing through my doc files and did I ever upload this? I can't remember if I ever uploaded this???? Anyway, I like the idea of @ashwii s celestial turtles being giants actually

👩‍🚀🐢👩‍🚀🐢👩‍🚀🐢👩‍🚀🐢👩‍🚀🐢👩‍🚀

"Hey, April! Whatcha doing?" 

April can only spare a very quick glance at her friend, the personified (or is it turlefied?) comet. 

"Can't talk, Mikey. Kinda busy trying not to die." 

Ah, wrong word choice. Mikey immediately invades her space, pressing his face right up next to her helmet. "What is wrong? Is it your weak human body? Have you swallowed a coin again?" 

April groans and pushes the turtle away. She almost loses her grip on the space station and floats away into the vast abyss of space. Fun. 

She never should have told them that childhood story. Now they are all convinced that the smallest inconvenience is enough to kill a human. 

Well, in space that might actually be a fair assumption. 

Case in point.

"No!" She goes back to messing with the outside controls. So many damned wires and all in the same color. She can't even go 'It's always the red one' like this. Or would it be the blue one? "NASA miscalculated my orbit."

"Which means?" 

"Which means, due to a lot of scientific mumbo jumbo that goes right over my head, with every rotation I will get closer and closer to earth's orbit until the gravitational pull will become too much and this whole station will" she makes a sound Mikey can't place and swings her arm in an arch "whooooosh right into the ocean. With fireworks." 

Admittedly, NASA had reassured her that that was still months away and that they were working on a solution, but April knows platitudes when she hears them. Their faces had said it all. Ground control has no idea how to fix this. 

And April will not just sit around and wait until she rockets into the ground. 

"I have to move this stupid thing just a few degrees to the right and everything will be fine. But the course is precoded and it's locked and hidden behind a thousand firewalls and- Shit!" She pounds her fist against the outside of the ship. In zero gravity it is not a satisfactory sound at all, but the only other option is crying and hell no. April O'Neil is not a cryer, facing certain doom or not. "I have no idea how to do this!"

"Just a few degrees to the right? Don't worry April, I can do that! I'll move it for you!" 

April chuckles without humor. "A comet to the side might just cause more problems, Mike." 

Suddenly she feels a shift behind her and a shadow falls over her. She turns around and almost loses her hold.

The small turtle is suddenly gigantic. As tall as ten football fields, maybe even more. His movements are slow and careful as he takes the space station between two fingers like a child might hold a marble. 

"Hold on." he says and his voice echoes ominously. It is so loud that April kinda wishes she could put her hands over her ears, but instead she holds on for dear life as the station begins to move the tiniest bit to the right. 

"Is that enough?" 

April nods. She is pretty sure it is and anyway, she is kinda losing her mind right now. Math will have to wait until later. 

There is the sensation of the shift again and when she looks back, Mikey is small once more. 

"What the fuck?" 

Mikey sniffs, affronted. "Uhm, you're welcome, I guess?" 

"Yes thank you, you saved my life, I owe you one et cetera et cetera. Again. What the fuck? Could you always do that?" 

"Do what?" 

"TURN BIG!" 

Mikey looks genuinely confused. "What do you mean, turn big? That was my normal size." 

"Say what now?" 

Mikey has the audacity to rub the back of his neck as if he is embarrassed about something. As if he didn't just give April a reality shift of Lovecraftian proportions. "Oh, we size down when we are around you. Raph thought that might be less jarring for you and also you kinda would have to shout all the time so we can hear you and Leo said that couldn't be good for your voice and throat." 

"So your brothers are actually also that tall?" 

"Oh. No! Not at all!" 

April sighs in relief. 

"They are much taller. You should see Raph! Man, sometimes he turns around and just bumps a planet right out of its orbit with his butt. It's so funny!" 

As Mikey laughs and mimes Raph's fumbling with an out of control planet, April tries to rub a hand down her face. Her hand collides with her helmet instead. 

How is she going to explain this to NASA? 

[inkievoid]

Okay—I really need to know this because it’s been keeping me up all night pookie…This is just my guess! But we can alter the story any way! MENTIONS OF ABUSE (KINDA)!!!

I feel like Chris’s now wife was in one of those situations where she got married extremely young, I’d say about 20-22? Maybe even a little older. But I feel like that’s one reason she was in such an abusive and toxic marriage. Her and her now ex husband were still young, probably had a baby not to long after, and that’s when I think the abuse really started.

It wasn’t long after their little ‘honeymoon’ which was really them just having time off from work and staying home all day. He’d start getting a bit manipulative and toxic, then as you advanced into your pregnancy, I feel like that’s when all of the real serious things started to happen. It would be over the most random and small thing too. She accidentally dropped a glass while washing the dishes? He’d get into his screaming fit, going on about how she was useless while she stood there like a scared puppy, trying her hardest to apologize and defend herself only to be met with a slap on the face.

Ollie was only a year and a couple months when you finally had enough, dropping everything and leaving your shitty husband. You’d spend all day working, taking extra shifts to make enough to atleast put away for a tiny apartment for you and Ollie. Yelling at Redfield all night for him to take your orders and STOP GETTING HIMSELF IN TROUBLE!!!

Chris was born in 1973, technically making him like…51 or something in 2024 😳. (I ❤️ Peepaws.) He’d be 48 in RE8 and around 40 for Death Island. I feel like him and his wife would have an age difference. Let’s just say she got married at 24, + 1 year for the pregnancy with Ollie and how long it took to conceive. 25 + 15 (Ollie’s age basically) she’d be around 39/40ish in 2024? Correct my math and lore if I’m wrong yall…

AND GIVE OPINIONS!!!!! If you don’t agree, I totally understand! <3

- Anon! 🎀

(Jesus Christ this is so long I'm sorry I went crazy 😅)

(Edit: fixed some timeline inconsistencies and pin pointed that Chris and his future wife physically met sometime between August-October of 2010.)

Correction: Chris is 42 in DI cause it's set in 2015.

If your math is matching right and by the ages of the kids they met sometime in 2011ish, So he'd be 38 and if she got married at 22, waited to have a baby at 24+1 for the pregnancy and 1 more year for the time frame of her leaving Turner (yes her ex-husband gets an ugly name). She'd be 26 when they met.

11 years difference

(fun fact, my parents were 11 years apart from each other lol)

So if our girl math is girl mathing yes, it be 51/40 (Cradle robber Chris. Jkjk that's not even that big of a gap imo)

Which is hilarious because that would mean she's younger than Claire too... By 5 years. But y'know. People can find love at any age. Plus there's benefits to loving an older man. They know what they want (most of the time)

As for the previous marriage! (CW: Baby trapping and abuse in a varieties of ways) (Also, there's literally no excuse to abuse your partner...)

They definitely got married young, probably met in college and decided to get married after she graduated (he's like a year or 2 older than her). Turner's got some fancy business job that makes him stressed constantly and he's away a lot so she didn't get to see him often.

She's got a degree in Public Relations and knows a few languages as she took elective courses to make her resume look all that more sparkling when graduating. And so she shot high, applying for a lot of jobs (it's about 2006 at this point so the job market isn't that bad) she gets a lot of offers.

She ends up taking some assitant position at a relator office and the market crash is 08 pretty much made her job vanish. So she's unemployed and solely relying on Turner. Which is fine, he's doing well and they have a good income. Nothing to worry about too much. But for ages now they've argued and it got really heated. Got in each others faces. But she loves him so she stays. But her patience is waring thinner and thinner by the day.

She gets pregnant and he's just... Awful. Manipulative and making everything out to be about how this is going to solely affect him. (Even though he most definitely got her pregnant on purpose so she'd have no choice but to stay) But she debates on keeping the baby and eventually Turner tells her she is. Doesn't even let her think otherwise after that, love bombs her because it's noticeable she has one foot out the door. But even after that she's on edge constantly. Flinching at the slightest knock or slam of a door because she thinks something's wrong immediately.

Turner still argues with her, has escalated to calling her a worthless cow by now. Telling her all she's ever been good for was giving him the son she's pregnant with. Eventually he goes away for business and she tries gaining some sense of independence. So she gets a shitty marketing job where she basically calls people all day and gets hung up on. July 2009 rolls around and Ollie's born. Turner makes her quit her job so she can take care of the baby. Complaining about how they can't afford daycare right now.

So she complies... Quiting her job. Things got worse and worse from that point on. This is when the physical abuse starts. They're fighting in the kitchen and Ollie's asleep in his room. Turner comes in from work and they start going at it. Ollie wakes up and starts crying over the baby monitor. Immediately she's going to see what's wrong and the argument shifts to her mothering skills and how Oliver seems to be getting too reliant on her. So she spits back at him about how if she had some help it wouldn't be like that.

Turner slaps her, she's shocked. He actually put his hands on her. He wedges her between the babys bedroom door and his body. His hands gripping her hard enough to bruise. Gritting his teeth as he threatens her. Telling her if she ever talks to him like that again he'll do a lot more than just a simple slap. He let's her go and tells him to shut the baby up.

So she goes into Ollie's room and consoles him and she starts silently crying herself. Realizing the severity of everything now. She can't stay, that was just the first time and if he'd do that feet away from the baby imagine what he'd do in front of him...

So she start slowly warming him up to the idea of getting a job again. To help get Ollie in daycare or even a nanny so they can get out of their apartment and into a house with enough space. Turner agrees, letting her look for a job. She applies for a job as a communications team lead at the BSAA. It sounds like an easy enough job. And she's over qualified. Saving up for nearly a year all while taking countless instances of abuse verbally or physically.

She gets the job easily. Ends up setting up her checks to go into her friends business account and transfer her paychecks into a separate account because she lied to Turner and told him she got a job with her friend so it be "more secure" and less likely to be fired. He buys it. She slowly pulls money out of her second account and hides it in the babies room until he goes on a business trip for work.

Literally packs all their stuff in the back of a moving truck and goes to Bella (her best friend since highschool) begging for the help she needs and of course she takes them in...

She's finally out of that hellhole. Slaps him with a divorce filing not long after. Getting a push from the countless police reports they'd had filed over domestic disputes. No need to wait to separate. But the divorce takes time itself.

She takes night shifts, switching spots with the night shift lead because it's higher pay. The only thing that she hates about the job is the people she has to deal with. Especially with the Alpha team leader who frequently talks over her or orders his men to shut comms off in enemy territory when it's literally her job to relay information. You strictly deal with this Redfield guy only...

Well each team lead needs to join a special meeting with the BSAA'S UN ambassador to go over how each department is doing. So you're all sat around this long table and they slowly introduce everyone as each department or team head stands up and talks about everything. It's your turn, you stand and introduce yourself. Talk about everything that's been happening since your shift change and each teams performance could use improvements. But this absolute brick wall of a guy 3 seats down is just staring... Intensely...

Everyone is staring, they're supposed to when someone's presenting. But his feels different. Almost like you're an exhibit and he's a patron of some kind watching you in your natural habitat. You sit, being thanked by the ambassador as he moves along the table. Eventually landing on the massive guy.

The words "Alpha team leader" leave the ambassadors mouth as this bear man stands up. He's so tall... Built like a buff rectangle... He talks, introducing himself as Chris Redfield.

Of course... His name would be something douchey like Chris. He's just talking and you can't help but dig your nails into your hands he's so irritating. Eventually the meeting ends and you're saying your goodbyes as you leave the meeting room and who's waiting at the elevator.

Redfield... Of course.

You really can't help yourself at this point, this man's been on your nerves for the past 2 months now. You need to say something. So you stomp towards him, pulse beating in your neck the longer you look at him.

"Hey asshole." He turns his attention as you walk up to him. He looks down at you, the size difference being almost laughable as you glare at him.

"H-"

"You got a lot of fucking nerve talking to me like you do sometimes." His eyebrows raise and lips part, about to say something when you cut him off.

"Whatever you're about to say, save it... My job is to relay information to your TEAM, not it's captain. I'm supposed to keep you and your squad safe and informed. You aren't letting me do my God damn job."

You jab a nail into his chest, poking hard.

"I need this job. My money goes straight from my wallet into my babys mouth and I'm not gonna be the one explaining to him why mommy can't feed him because some... Some giant, steroid obsessed... bear looking man can't keep his mouth shut! So do us both a favor, shut the fuck up and let me talk to your team."

You take in a breath and he stares wide eyed and almost amazed by your display of forwardness. The elevator dings next to him as he makes some kind of "um" sound. But you don't care what he has to say, you just push past him and decide to take the stairs down.

Your next shift you come in to your desk to a bouquet of flowers and a hand written apology from Chris himself. At the bottom his phone number is scribbled next to his signature. With a 'P.S. If you ever need anything, don't be scared to reach out.'