#do u want to be my new best friend
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut âŹ
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Whâ yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: ⊠yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do itâŠ
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right⊠- though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: ⊠- mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): âŠIt took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so niceâ - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world'sâ not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can nowâŠÂ
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: justâ yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, thenâ! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: andâ yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOOâMP
page 15
Riz: WHâ DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warmâŠ
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: whâ - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, Iâ - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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YOU JUST HÆARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURÆ!!!
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY#IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE#VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT#THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME#AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME#I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED?#SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE.#SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT.#GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME#WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!!#I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS#THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF?#OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS#in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade.#hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS
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OMG YES!!!!! i don't see people talking about dirty old town enough and it changed my brain chemistry to the point of no return i need to talk about it
reading dirty old town by wizardgod was a no turning back point for me i can't believe i went from never thinking about regulus to thinking about him every day........ like wizardgod's characterization of him is my only perception of him now and this blog could easily turn into a fanpage for just that fic alone
#do u want to be my new best friend#not joking#i spent last christmas reading this fic#dirty old town#wizardgod#regulus black
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i drew a streamer i started watching recently who was playing LN1~
their name is obakechan !
#my art#art q#cell shading#chibi#misc bg#little nightmares#fanart#in other news i am slowly recovering from the whole like#being possessive of my art and artstyle#after the whole bunsong youtube series of unfortunate events plus dailycelebi#so if you wanted to ask how i do any certain things i am very likely to share now..!#i still say dont heavy ref my art and post it#like u can do that to learn privately#but otherwise idk i am overcoming it#oh and dont heavy reference my commission work ofc thats for the paying customer#anyways this took me like 20 or 30 mins#actually i can check#yeah 21 mins#i should stream little nightmares again#also i recognise my possessiveness of my art was partly cuz like i was not at all used to being seen outside my friends anyways#and my art is a big part of my identity#so seeing someone copy it as best as they could was very unsettling at the time#but after a lot of introspection and breaking down why i felt that way i started to recover after realising that like#people doing that arent stripping me of my identity and wearing it right#they just liked my art#except the users who traced or heavy reffed my shit and didnt credit me nor ask and then sold it those guys dont count#but yeah im still figuring it all out internally#actually making those bases really helped !!
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu
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#depression has hollowed me out in2 a shell of my former self#and i thmk i need 2 grit my teeth and just get over It whatever It is#recognizing its no easy task but also knowing i cant keep on like this#and allowing myself to spiral into misery thereby preventing any possible change or growth#sigh âŠ. sogh .. i want 2 be a person again . picture friends circa 2008 outlining me in chalk. i want 2 know theres something there#how u ask (me asking myself)#idk but one way or anotjer . and not in that new yrs resolution fallacy way#anyways . anyways z . crazy how a week off from work will leave u feeling real again#i gotta get out of there . step 1đđđ#its especially hard when everyone arnd you is objectively doing better. partners finances purpose . >staring in2 the camera 1000 yd stare#u get thru the beast of being a teenager like thank god thats over and then b4 you even catch ur breath#your mid 20s are casting a shadow over u like some menacing thing and u have to gulp and say hes right behind me isnt he#i think people often like to give the advice that youll figure it out but it leaves me feeling so disquieted#bc its like sure im sure i will ive made it this far i can do what i need to get by when the moment matters#but it does nothing to assauge the immediate anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and lack of direction yk#goddmanit assuage i spelled it wrong everyone point and laugh#bc its like what if i dont and i mean that in a very like . existential & not material way . idk what im saying but i think thats the advice#i hate most . not sure if u have felt or do feel the same . -__- like yes oersonal experience sure whatever happens will happen and you will#simply adjust but will i ever feel like its something i want to experience/endure .#whatever anyways x2. im journalling i think that helps me the best rn . and its the one thing thats allowed me hope and i think#having that time to examine and mull over and deconstruct is rly helpful tbh. and i would like to think#over the long term i can repair my creativity and cultivate a new outlet that doesnt leave me feeling empty if i cant draw as i used to#yaar#i feel like i dont write for very long tho thats the one thing that kinda blows#two pages maybe and ive only addressed two maybe three points if im being generous lol i get so bored with the actual motion#when my mind moves 10x as fast . and idc for audio logs either ykwim.#ohh tumblr how i love u . tag system like no other
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some shippers when solas has had important relationships from thousands of years ago and he can't just forgive himself for failing those closest to him then and go "okie dokie!" when his wife tells him he can come back home
#dragon age fandom critical#solavellan#im sorry some of you are not serious he literally says in the cutscene i wish ur forgiveness soothed my faults but unfortunately#hes been on this path for CENTURIES before lavellan was even born like yes he would like to apologize to mythal#AND HE LEFT LAVELLAN CLUES BC SHE WANTED HIM TO TRACK HIM SHE WANTED HER TO STOP HIM#unfortunately sometimes you kinda need your best friend turned master turned opp to say it's ok#like she literally came in went well lolz we both fucked up teehee i release u from indentured servitude PCE#and some of u are still mad#RELATIONSHIPS DONT EXIST IN A FUCKING VACUUMM!!!!!!#mind you mythal got betrayed by her own deranged husband who then got locked away and she was lobotomized#and then after she protected her people in this new world solas showed up and went well im bombing it#LIKE UNFORTUNATELY. SINCE HE KILLED FLEMETH HE KINDA NEEDED TO ATONE FOR THE NUMEROUS GRIEVANCES HE CAUSED IN MYTHALS LIFE TOO#also like even tho it was mythals choice to follow her husband and it was her own undoing#solas as a spirit of wisdom who knew better and warned her still thinks he failed her and not vice versa bc it was his Nature.#i also think it would be largely out of character for solas to just go okie after lavellan forgives him#he literally broke up w her bc he felt he was betraying this path of repentance he made up for himself#he wished it was as easy to just cast aside & get over it and adapt like mythal clearly has but#in his core he feels deeply. his regrets his losses his pain. he is a spirit#he is not a man. he is weighed down by emotions the mortal coil cannot comprehend#it is also why he did not want cole bound or inq drinking from the fountain#he made a choice and he failed and he carried that burned for centuries#he would not have that thrust upon someone else#and he also cannot wash away the guilt without confronting it. and he hasnt been confronting it until hes trapped#and even then his last confrontation w mythal b4 vg was when he gutted her to seize power and do what HE thought he must
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feeling soooo normal about two of my oldest friends from home having a falling out when im not there to be like shut the fuck up!!!!!!
#theyâre literally fighting over nothing. and im not there to be like guys cmon. going insane!!!!!!#we literally just were all together new years and I saw their fight but apparently one of them ended their friendship over it just now#what the fuck#anyways ig itâs up to them to set boundaries do what they want etc but like. I donât have to think it makes sense or is good#two of my other best friends from college are also in a falling out rn. live love laugh:)#it wouldnât be effective or my place but part of me wants to be like you guys are both such assholes thatâs why u should be friendsâŠ.#but one of them doesnât like. Know heâs an asshole
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Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee
dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning âhard to get atâ, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.
jason âroboâ robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobbyâs nhl periodic table poems <3
#i had a couple different ideas for poems that were taken by the time i could go deranged for a couple hours to make this but as I looked#i was like WAIT NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JASON ROBERTSON YOU HAVENâT SEEN MY TEXAS CAM and had to do it. also was STRUCK with the#sudden immaculate vision of the Dallas D as part of terfenol-D and could not get it out & robo is the most dance! person i know on the team#liv in the replies#dallas stars#jason robertson#nhl periodic table poems#guys i am plagued with visions and no execution skills!! every day i come here and learn one new skill on GIMP the way god intended!!!#today it was emboss. also cannot claim any credit for the pulse to the magnetic beat photo which is so cool that was one where i had a#couple and was like maybe i can do like crayon shockwaves like the art process video kasper showed? and then found that picture and was#like thank you lord stanley for knowing my limitations. thank you for your understanding in this moment it was a trial enough to make#expand contract dance and one would THINK i would have fucking learned from the claude animorphs tragedy!! i did not. but i did use the#shear tool and 3D rotate so at least if weâre animorphing itâs SLIGHTLY better. anyway me frantically doing this like WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT#WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS ARE SO FAST i keep seeing all of these and just spinning around in circles until i get dizzy & fall down Iâm so happy#the drive folder for this is just called joy!!!!! because joy this is such a cool idea but now because it brings me so much joy#i just saw the Travis dermott one and burst into tears super normal AND someone did exactly what i wanted with hydrogen which was the water#the ice!!!!! itâs so perfect!!! and cody ofc did silver lord stanley. like does it ever make you cry how beautiful & creative everyone is?#anyway if you see me post and delete this and then update it or change it no you didnât itâs fine. but i wanted to be included#if i could make the dysprosium letters not have a white background i would I simply could not fuck with it at 1AM. we are hitting send#it may not look like it but i queue#pretend i spoke at length about the reasons why i picked all the pictures & the element just know that itâs there inside my brain u can ask#GUYS I TAKE IT ALL BACK I SAW NEONFRETRAâS ISOTOPES AND I COULD MAKE THE EDITS EVEN THOUGH THEYâRE THERE!! ISOTOPES!!!! YOU GUYS!!!!!!#get ready for the edits then. dylan magnesium my beloved child of stars who can never return⊠like i wish i could say anyone else but itâs#i KNOW number nineteens bismuth donât make me Google how many years nolan played hockey but also thereâs ej for stable so.. also half-life#actinium claude giroux my beloved⊠when i saw there already was a claude i thought maybe Brady too for that#I donât know how but flerovium doubled magic is percolating in my brain as was promethium bad boy because I was like hmmm. tyler. but#couldnât commit and THEN SOMEONE DID BAD BAD LEROY BROWN TYLER BERTUZZI TO PROMETHIUM AND BESTIE I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH!!! with cons#anyway shane wright germanium with juraj slafkovskĂœ but showing him very obviously not missing it. if jack eichel was not an asshole#the narratives WOULD be narrativing. you could argue for a sidovi here with the calder cup and potentially a best friend stealing narrative#(the most recent is cam yorkeâs acquisition of jamie d from trevor zegras which would then require a yorkie one for silicon the other side)
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#update for those who have the patience to read my irl bs#good news and bad news#good news: i'm going to the music festival! with my situationship! we're even getting a hotel and shit đ#bad news: my best friend who hates my situationship bc they have this weird rivalry thing going on texted me saying they wanna go w me#how do i tell said best friend i already have the tickets and the hotel room except is with the guy who's her nemesis#đ”âđ«đ”âđ«đ”âđ«#TWO other friends also said they wanted to go w me and i had to give it to them straight like uh u can show up but i have company#but my best friend is a whole different matter#đ«
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omg spacie jumpscare(s) !!! i'm being bombarded !!! don't make me use my special attack (the rabbit)
you didnt even know.but i remembered tem. i remembered them starbs. i remer so well. see it so clear in my minds eye. jesus christ. mental illness. me. me mental illness my disorders
#spacie splains#hey man#something is happenign to me. \#i could have kept going#theres a lot#like. a lot#i tried going thru all your art tag but i assume its a new one b/c not all of your art was there#anybeans#GET LOVED MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#DIE DIEDIEIDEIDEIDEIDIEIDE EXPLODES YOUR NOTIFS EXPLODE EXPLODE EXPLODE BOOM BOOM BOOM BLOW UP TO SMITHEREENS#WAHAHAHAHHAA SEEING THE SPIKE IN MY OWN NOTIFS WAS SO FUNNY AWAHHAHAHA#yeads.....everybody come look at PEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#christ. sickness has overcome me#physcial symptom#disorders stop activating. please.....#i have the ability to be so. annoying#i will do it again#shoutout 2 tumbler user and my best friend madam mongoose you are . aweosme sauce#i said this in a discord server im in but you ever love a character so much u want 2 cry#thats me. at your springtrap. (and springtrap in general but-)#i think ive been insane enought for today#maybe i should log off (doesnt do that)#coughs up blood#keels over and dies
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legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23
#so.#i fell into the fireplace lol#- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with#because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong#your body feels wrong.#i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18.#because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating#im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you.#but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb#or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning#i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic#so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?'#anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place#and my legs just gave out đ#and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh#which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed#and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me'#and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed#and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh#and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok#đ#tw chronic illness#/ multiple sclerosis
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btw u guys have to promise to not be mad at me for becoming ur turtle mutual. please
#shut up dave#IM LIKE. NOT NORMAL ABOUT THEM. AND THIS MEANS A LOT TO ME#i nEED a special interest to consume my every waking thought in order to thrive#and after i grew out of homestuck its like i lost my spark its EXCRUCIATING.#what do you MEAN i cant draw 3 comics and 2 full piecesn write 50 page essay in one day every day if im not insane abt some piece of fictio#outrageous!!!!!#and as much as i wish i could. i cant Choose or induce this thats not how it weorks we all know this#i TRIED to make miraculous my next big thing after hs it did not work!!! im still insane abt it! but its the#watching trrailers frame by frame making longass analyses and tracking down the exact car in one scene type of insane.#sure ive made art n comics its still one of the things i was and am more invested in than about 60-something of my other media interests#but GOD then rottmnt hit me full speed. i am FEELING this one. i made art AND the characters i was scared would be impossible to draw#turned out to be. so easy? like i did a great splinter first try and thats HUGE for me usually my first attempts suck#until i develop a personal touch for their design#the style of the show is just sososo good for me. theyre my best friends now. and i INTEND to make that clear to EVERYONE#bc im still feelin lonely!!! despite everything!! and i dont want to!!!!!!!!! and im making it everyone elses problem!!!!#anyways like as i said. ur not allowed to be mad at me. please please. ive always been annoying this is just a new arc#and u have to put up wirh it. or ill cry. thanks.
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VENTING IN TAGZ
#I made a new friend guys#she follows this acc actually#so hi#yk who u r#but anyway#I hope to be best friends with this person#and I want to be able#to be myself and say the things on my mind#without the fear of losing her like#Ive done many times before#because I always mess up#but I lost a friend of 4 years because I had apparently made them miserable#with all my stupid problems and#ig I just made bad choices#and now I realize I'm a danger to myself and others#when I'm very mentally unstable#and I'm not sure what to do anymore#guys#me#nobody will read this but#if u see this#new friend#to the question you asked me last night#that you told me to be honest about#the answer is no#And I'm very far from it#but I just cant admit that to you because im so scared to lose u#even tho we just now started talking#I care about you deeply#and I love u a lot
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finding a verdi opera that i will unambiguously love is like my holy grail. my white whale. my bigfoot. she's out there somewhere, probably
#of all the ones i've seen so far my reactions have only ranged from#'...okay' to 'myeah that was preddy good'#(don carlo and traviata at opposing ends of the scale)#guys i want to like verdi i really do....maybe i'm just watching the wrong operas....#but GD there are so many. i want to find one i actually genuinely love but there are so many. do i have to watch all of these.#trovatore and rigoletto are next on my list but i'll be honest w u it is hard to motivate myself to watch new verdi#since up to this point even the ones i've mostly enjoyed i haven't felt any real urge to revisit at all#or at worst they baffle and confound me in various manners...#eugh enough tag rambling for now. the real thing holding me back is finals season#mutuals hmu i guess in may if you want to stream trovatore and/or rigoletto at some point#doing w/ friends is the best way to get me to actually get off my ass and do something...#sasha speaks
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laying in the ground crying.................................... when will *I* get to kiss a guy..........
#its been over five years that ive made out w/ a guy @ ARGIEBLR invite me to a party any party#i cant go to the ones i used to go bc this friend's new best friend invited me to his ttrpg campaign and i ghosted him for months#and now im too embarrassed to see him :/#tani's personal shit#i do miss those parties.... free alcohol + very pretty people like what else could a guy ever want? i even met my ex gf there#sucks that didnt work but oh well what can u do#anyway............... im yearning bro
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