#do it @ todd
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theaudiovore · 2 years ago
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TES needs playable Goblins
Orcs went from monsters only in Arena and Daggerfall to citizens and PCs in Morrowind BGS should do it again with the goblins new Skyrim update: playable Reiklings secret Oblivion update: playable Goblins do it Todd, let us play as the little freaks open the floodgates for more diversity
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skecherss · 27 days ago
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@batbirdies honestly this SOUNDS like something your Jason would say
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mysterycitrus · 7 months ago
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lbr he doesnt stand a chance against a real clownoisseur
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weewoow-20706030 · 7 months ago
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The batfam trauma candy salad would go absolutely insane.
Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.
Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.
Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?
Jason: nerds.
Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.
Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.
Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.
Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.
Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-
Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.
Damian: My mother randomly dropped me on some weird man's doorstep when I was ten. I brought rock candy.
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abisalli · 18 days ago
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getting back into the swing of things by making ref sheets for myself (kinda)
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versasfanficwastedump · 7 months ago
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and while i’m on a self indulgent thing? i think that any of the kids calling Bruce “dad” changes his whole demeanor. it helps him know that whatever they’re talking about is serious.
hearing his name shouted across the house does nothing for him. a hundred people say his name all day, including his kids. whatever the situation is can be fixed.
but hearing “Dad!”, cried out in battle or screamed from the other room, has him rushing to their side. what is it love and i’m here you’re alright and shh i’ve got you
“Bruce, I need help” = can’t open this large jar, have a question about math homework, need someone to look at this case file for me
“Dad, I need help” = I am hurt. I am scared. I am in danger. I need you to make things better. I need you to protect me.
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gaywineauntsstuff · 1 month ago
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Tim: I can’t tell dick?? I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or not trustworthy bc I’m doing something reckless??!
Jason who saw Dick make out with a mark to steal something from his pocket when Dick was 17:…
Bruce who saw Dick jump off a moving plane and hum the song “I need a hero” instead of calling for Superman:
Wally who say Dick go fuck it and infiltrate a sex trafficking ring as a stripper bc someone said he was too pretty to work for the mob:
Roy who has smacked dick out of delusions 15 times too many:
Clark who saw dick stay in a radioactive city for vibes:
Diana who has heard Donna’s concerned ramblings since she was like 12:
Damian who saw that Dick turned the bat ears into projectiles that can electrocute you:
Steph who saw the same thing:
Tim who refuses to believe Dick Grayson can do anything that isn’t brilliant, premeditated and completely the best option: I CANT HE’ll be so disappointed:(
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batsandbirdsandothers · 4 days ago
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Ghost Jason and Timmy - definition of best friends
I think I made too many people cry in the previous post so something wholesome this time:))
Part 3 | Part 4 Ghost Jason series
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prlssprfctn · 18 days ago
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I actually need some fanfic, where Bruce and Jason are in the middle of some argument, and a casual (and a well-practiced with Dick before) sentence leaves his mouth, something along the lines "How old do you think you are?!", meaning that he is acting childishly. And because Jason is irritated, and his tongue runs loose in his anger, he screams back that he is nineteen, and Bruce just freezes, because... Oh. Jason is nineteen. He is a fucking kid - his kid - that lost years of his teenhood, and was forced back without anyone giving him a space to catch up, with everyone else already treating him like an adult... When he isn't.
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lisholoz · 2 months ago
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monoukotori · 1 month ago
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I have seen a lot of fics about the Justice League finding out Bruce has kids and being shocked about it, but what about the other way around? Like imagine Dick ghosting Bruce and ignoring everything related to Batman for six months after an argument and the day he finally decides to visit to make amends he finds fuckin Superman chilling on his kitchen, or like Jason coming back from the dead, ready to fuck shit up, just to get whiplash after finding out that his loser dad has friends and one of them is Wonder Woman
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redsray · 1 year ago
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.
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punnifullife · 8 months ago
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funnier in my head but we're all thinking the same thing, right? jason:
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singswan-springswan · 4 months ago
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In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of
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frownyalfred · 7 months ago
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thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.
Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:
Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)
weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)
scars
FRESH scars
the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42
Olympic athlete level physiques
rotator cuff injuries across the whole family
scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes
old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)
Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)
every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints
calluses
no really, the weirdest fucking calluses
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incorrectbatfam · 5 months ago
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Jason's emergency contact is "anyone but Bruce" but folks only read "Bruce" and call him anyway
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