#do i try my luck at learning a new language or do i wait for a bird ringing course?

[avinox]

I have like 300€ saved (no income) that I have to spend wisely on courses and learning and things like that, I believe my parents have decided they won't pay for anything, so I just have a roof under my head and that's about it, it's basically like being on my own except I live with a very toxic family that makes me want to die every day. I want to learn and do more before I can finally ask for a scholarship for my master's, but pretty much everything is over my budget. It's a losing game, I'm stuck, I can't get better, I can't get help, I can't leave.

[sweetnans]

Firefighter!bakugo pt 2 pt.1 here

a/c: This bakugo is softer because there's no quirks hunting him. This isn't proofread yet, and please consider that english is not my first language.

You didn't call him. He left his number on the card, the company replaced all your burnt furniture and electronics, and after all, you still couldn't look at your new stove without thinking of him. And that you never called him.

Of course, the next time you saw him, it wasn't your fault.

It was a sunny day. A few months had passed, and you were making your way for a new job interview you had pending.

You did the interview pretty well, considering your strike of bad luck. The boss and the executive of the company said that your resume was everything that they were looking for and that gave you a sort of security you hadn't felt for a while.

You were making your way out of the office after hearing the 'we will call you to discuss minor details' when a rare feeling appeared on your stomach, a slight pinch in your guts that didn't felt like it was a stomach problem.

You shook the feeling away and kept walking to the elevator, pressing the button you realized that you were free all afternoon, so you made a quick plan to go for a coffee and a donut. Lately, you were craving sugary things.

Once the elevator's doors closed, the uneasy feeling made his way back to you. You felt that something wasn't right the minute the elevator creaked before going down. The office's company was on the nineteenth floor, and you were almost reaching the thirteen when the movement stopped abruptly.

Suddenly, the light went off too.

You never thought that you would be in a situation like that, so you obviously tried to remain calm, but it didn't work.

Panting, you reached to grab your phone from the back pocket of your jeans. As you were expecting, you had no signal, mostly because you were trapped in a box made of metal.

"Hello?" You said pressing one of the buttons from the panel, the one that got a bell on it. "I'm stuck in the elevator"

No one answered, and your heart started to beat faster and faster. You tried banging on the doors, crossing your fingers that the elevator got stuck on a specific floor and not in between floors.

You considered yourself a calm person, or at least a good pretending something you are clearly not. You were good at faking because you were more afraid of feeling ashamed, but no one was around to see you panicking.

"Help!" You screamed and then waited to hear any noise coming from outside. The silence was overwhelming. "Shit"

You slid your back until your butt hit the ground and started to remember the breathing exercises you learned on a yoga session your friend made you go. Thinking that it will work was a very optimistic thought.

The feeling of your lungs stretching and trying to find the air that was lacking in the elevator was exhausting, closing your eyes, you pushed one of your hands in your chest to apply some presure on it to feel the movement and connect the moves with your brain so it would process that you were actually not dying and still breathing.

Your eyes started to close, and your body started to sweat. Was it the end of it? You got a decent degree, got drunk with your friends many times, and had a good childhood, but still, you wanted to do a lot of things, like learn how to drive, get a dog, start your own business and even make fucking cookies without setting your house on fire, you were so young to die like that.

Thirty minutes later, that felt like an eternity, you started to hear banging and voices from the other side of the elevator. You were skeptical that it was actually help and tried not to feel so excited about it, but then, a ray of light appeared from the darkness.

"I think she's conscious, guys," a voice you've heard before said.

Many hands and bodies started to work in the steel, using saws and jaws to break the door open to get you out of there.

The door cracked after a few minutes, and you were free and ready to never jump in an elevator again.

You were almost falling asleep, and you felt so weak to move, so they carried you out of the elevator and settled you on the floor.

A blonde man put a little flashlight in your eyes and looked at you very focused on his task. The sight wasn't very clear, everything looked very blurred to you. You could only see two shapes that obstructed the sunlight.

"I think she passed out while she was there. I got a faint pulse too" The same voice you heard before echoes in your ears like it was miles away but you could see the red haired man in front of you.

Oh no.

You felt your senses returning in a whiplash. That man, in front of you, was the man that went to the fire in your house and the one that was next to him was the one that went to your brother's home and gave you the box of cookies.

Fuck fuck fuck.

"I'm okay, I swear." You tried to stand in your feet, but a wave of dizziness didn't let you.

"I don't think you are," the red-haired man told you, giggling. "Wait, I know you" he stated in awe.

"Yeah, her face, it feels familiar, right?" The blonde man spoke to the other ignoring completely that you were there.

"She's the one that burned down her kitchen a few months ago"

There he was, taking off his gloves, a drop of sweat in his forehead, and looking as good as the last time you saw him. You cursed yourself in your mind. He was hot, and now after you never called him, there was a ninety-nine percent chance that he hated you.

"Move aside. I'm going to check her vitals. You two can talk with the building manager about his excuse of an elevator. " he spoke lowly to the others, and that volume of timber scratched that unworkable brain of yours.

The two firefighters stood up and patted the shoulder of his friend while he kneeled down in front of you.

You were left alone with him, the guy you turned down.

"Hey, you know I'm very sorry and -" You started to apologize.

"Do you consider yourself claustrophobic?" He interrupted, putting the oximeter in your index finger

"Mhm, I don't think so." You avoided eye contact because his serious facade was something you couldn't bear at the moment.

"Doubtful, why is your heart rate so elevated then?"

You felt how the blood in your system rose to your cheeks. He must have noticed because he lowered his head at the same time that a smug smile appeared on his face.

"I think I got what I deserved, a scare that almost ended up in death," you dramatized while he lifted a finger in front of your eyes with a tiny flashlight following the movements of your pupils. "I think that's the karma acting"

"What do you mean?" He clicked the flashlight off and reajusted himself crouched on his knees.

"You were nice to me, and I never responded" you shrugged.

Bakugo put on a face you couldn't decipher. It was a mix between thinking and not giving a shit about everything.

"Have you tried baking again?" He asked, reverting his glance from nothing to you.

You denied with your head.

"Just looking at the oven freaks me out," you let out a sigh, followed with a shiver when your mind put the memory of that day in your head.

He grinned at your words and you couldn't help the smile that appeared in your face.

"What's so funny?" You tried asking.

"How do you burn your kitchen and end up trapped in an elevator in less than a year?"

You rolled your eyes at him and handed the oximeter to him. He extended his hand to yours, and you dropped the device before his hand reached your hand. The two of you were quick on catching the device before it landed on the floor, but in the process, his hands covered yours.

Bakugo stared at your joined hands for a second before taking his away. You thought that you were the only one who felt attracted like a magnet to him, but the slight pink on the tips of his ears gave him away instantly.

"You know, there's a chance you might have hurt yourself, so we have to take you to the hospital so they can check on you properly," he explained while closing the paramedics bag.

"Great, no coffee and donuts for me, huh?" You muttered under your breath while gaining momentum to stand from your seat.

He helped you to get steady, and then he guided you to the truck.

Before you could jump to one of the seats, he stopped you.

"My shift ends up in like an hour. The doctors would want to check your vitals and see if there is any concussion from when you fainted, well that, and the time you were there without much air... I was wondering if maybe, if you want, I mean...-

"Bakubro, did you ask her out yet?" The red-haired guy appeared from the back of the truck.

Bakugo stared at him like he could burn the man down.

"He was actually doing that," you said, biting your lip and looking back at him. "And I was about to say yes so..."

"Ah man, I'm sorry... Now that I'm here, I remember I left something back there. " he left the scene very quickly.

"You thought I was going to ask you out?" He said with his eyes going straight to his hairline.

A cold shiver ran through your spine from embarrassment.

"Shit, no? I'm, oh my god, this is so...I should've died, " you whined, praying in your mind for a hole in the ground that could swallow you down.

You could feel how your body was burning from the shame. Your face red and you felt your own temperature rising.

"You thought right," he said after a moment, enjoying your suffering. "But I was expecting you to make the first move, I mean after you turned me down"

"Please, stop, I beg you," you cried. "I'll take you out, meet me in the hospital, and I'll take you to wherever you want to go, just stop"

He almost laughed at your suffering. Bakugo thought that you looked so cute when you were ashamed and blushed.

"Nah, this one is on me. You'll have your donuts and coffee after all"

He pushed you, putting his hand in your lower back to get you on the truck.

...

Taglist

@spinninoutwaiting4you @gsyche @hanacheryl @itzjustj-1000 @kiridagremiln @reads-stuff-quietly

Do not edit or reupload my works elsewhere! All rights reserved.

[gaybananabread]

✦༻Spoilers༺✦

~This has been in the back of my mind since the movie came out; the time has come. I’m making progress with TickleTober, so enjoy this meal in the meantime! There’s probably more than a hint of shipping in here, but you don’t have to read it like that if you don’t want to. I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Wade Wilson

Ler: Logan Howlett

Summary: Logan is struggling to get used to living with Wade; he has a limit for Wade’s bullshit. The merc loves pushing him to that limit regularly. Logan uses an unconventional method to shut his smartass roommate up.

Warnings: canon-typical language and jokes, spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine and Golden Girls (you’ll see). This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

I’ve finally done it: the ultimate team-up turned homo-erotic-roommates-story. And, ya know, saving my entire timeline; mainly the Logan stuff, though.

Wade had been incredibly happy since they’d saved the existence of his timeline. He was showering regularly, disposed of that horrid “toupee,�� and started actually talking to the people in his life about how he felt. It kinda sucked, but hey – character development isn’t always sexy.

Things were going splendidly for the merc with a mouth.

Logan, on the other hand, was slowly going insane.

The Wolverine was grateful for the place to stay, of course; hell, he felt more at home than he had in years. The problem was how…Wade Wade had been acting.

Logan secretly admired how openly true to himself Wade could be; I mean, the guy literally said whatever came to his mind, no matter what. Then again, the guy literally said whatever came to his mind. No matter what.

Even if that thought completely spoiled something for Logan.

“Hey, Peanut! As much as I love that juicy ass, I’m gonna need you to get outta my spot.” Wade flicked his wrist at the eX-Man, beckoning for him to get up. Logan had been there for about twenty minutes, and there was no way he was moving; the episode of Golden Girls he was watching wasn’t finished yet. The man rarely got time to rest like that, savoring every half hour he got with the television like it was holy.

“I’ve been here, bub. Wait your turn.” Logan didn’t even blink, leaning to the side so he could still see the screen. He was gonna finish that episode, damn it.

“Ooo, is that ‘End of the Curse’?” Wade hums, taking a closer look at the screen. Logan wasn’t very far into the episode. “Turns out it’s just menopause, not pregnancy. Man, nothing wakes you up like an existential crisis and skinned minks.”

A low growl rumbled in Logan’s throat, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Ooooo, Wade fucked uuup…

“Did you just spoil the ending to my Golden Girls episode?” The livid tone of his roommate’s voice made Wade’s smile grow nervous.

It’s cool, it’s fine. All I gotta do is nail this recovery. Read and learn, people.

“At least I didn’t tell you that the whole Rose and Miles Webber thing doesn’t work out.”

Fuck. This is why you don’t stare at your roommate’s moobs while trying to save yourself, kids.

“You motherf- WADE !” Logan bolted up from his chair, charging at the blemish-skinned man. Wade made his first smart decision that entire morning:

He ran for his fucking life.

But, of course, luck refused to be on the red-suited man’s side. Wade tripped over one of Mary Puppin’s toys outside his room, Logan’s large hands quickly hoisting him up by the waist. Before he could fantasize anything, he was slammed down on his bed. Which, of course, opened up a whole new realm to dig his own grave in.

“Damn, Peanut! It’s customary to take me to dinner first, but you know I don’t mind gettin’ sloppy~” Okay, that was a little cliché. Wasted opportunity, Wilson.

Logan seemed pissed regardless. “You fucking ruined the one relaxing thing I get to do a week when Al’s out. Do you know how hard it is to enjoy a show when you know what’s gonna happen?!”

As entertaining as seeing Wade squirm beneath him was, Logan wanted revenge. He normally would’ve skewered the smartass, but Al was getting sick of smelling Wade’s blood whenever she left for a few hours. That, and he may or may not have gotten some blood on the couch (don’t tell her).

What else could he do? He wanted Wade to suffer, to regret his actions, to shut up for one in his god-forsaken existence. The only times he could remember that happened was when he was asleep, and when he was…oh. Ohoho, fuck yes.

“You’re gonna learn to shut that gaping, bottomless shithole you call a mouth, Wade, and you’re gonna learn it the hard way.”

“I do everything the hard way, Peanu- yeEEAHAHA! THEHE FUHAHAHACK?!” Before Wade could finish proving Logan’s point yet again, he felt ten muscular fingers knead into his thighs. It was – ironic, he knew – his death spot.

Now, imagine trying to explain why you’re smiling so much when someone’s grabbing at your thighs without stuttering. Spoiler alert: it’s torture.

“You can’t mouth off if you’re too busy laughing, fuckhead. Now shut up and scream for me.” Logan squeezed and squished at the merc's thighs, doing his best to tickle the shit out of him.

“Y-YOUHU CAHAN'T- FUHUHUHUCK! NOHOHO!” Wade tried and failed to speak through his laughter, his head reeling from the intense feeling. For the first time in many moons, the Merc with a Mouth was rendered speechless.

“I can’t fuck? Really? Bold ass statement to make when you’re at my mercy.” Logan’s more playful side was slipping out; how could it not with Wade’s goofy-ass laughter egging him on? Seriously, how could anyone expect him to act like a hard-ass with the man making such purposefully adorable noises?

“NOHOHOT WHAHAHAT IHI MEHEHEANT!” Kicking and squirming, the scarred man was quickly realizing he couldn’t talk his way out of the situation. They were matched in strength, but the tickling quickly un-evened the playing field. Maybe pleading for his life?

“COHOHOME OHOHON! I-IHI’LL QUIHIHIT!”

Logan paused for just a moment, his hands still resting on Wade’s hips. He was…actually gonna stop being a loudmouth? While he didn’t believe a word of that, he still wanted to take things a bit easier on the man; damn feelings…

Slowing down, the Wolverine moved his wiggling fingers to Wade’s stomach. Compared to his thighs, it was a decently tolerable spot; still, it fucking tickled.

“Wohoholvie, thihis is nuhuhuts! Ahand not thehe hohot kihihind!” Okay, maybe he immediately proved himself a liar, but Logan didn’t exactly quit! He was sort of justified, in that sense.

“You never learn, do ya?” There’s an air of amusement and affection in his voice that shocks the both of them. Logan immediately tries to correct it, clearing his throat with a glare. “Stubborn asshole. It’s a bad idea to taunt me when you’re this fucking ticklish.”

“Th-thihihis ihihisn’t fahahahair! Youhuhu’re thehe Tumblr bahahabygirl, nohot mehehe! Youhu shouhuhuld be gehehtting ihit!”

“The fuck is a Tumblr babygirl?” Logan snorted at the silly-sounding words, once again trying to figure out what the hell his roommate was talking about.

“Thehehey knohohow!” Wade pointed towards some unseeable audience, making the hairy man roll his eyes. He seriously needed to get Wade tested for something; it would probably explain so much.

“Do you want me to go back to your thighs?” Logan jerked his hands down threateningly, reveling in the squeal the motion causes. He didn’t even touch the other man that time; it was kinda cute.

“NOOOHOhohooo! Dihickhead!” Without thinking, Wade thrusted his arms out and shoved at Logan’s shoulders. Obviously, the brick wall of a man didn’t move, but his attention was drawn to a specific nuisance: the merc’s arms. Specifically, the fact that he hadn’t explored beneath them yet.

Gathering the mouthy man’s wrists in one hand, Logan forced Wade’s arms up and pinned them to the mattress. Once again, Wade was faced with a tough decision: smart off and completely fuck himself, or grovel and hope for some mercy.

Eh, smart choices are plot killers. This one’s for you, dear reader.

“Y-youhuhu’re really ehembracing your dark side, Peanut~ Next thing ya knowhow, I’m gonna be getting fitted for thohose fuzzy cuffs and a harn- FFFAAHAHAHAAA! OHO- OHOHOKAHAHAY! IHI’M SOHOHORRY! IHIT WAS THEHEHERE!”

Logan showed zero mercy, digging into Wade’s underarm with renewed vigor. He switched back and forth every few seconds, right to left, wrecking the man as thoroughly as possible. The man’s thighs were definitely still his death spot, but his armpits were a close second.

“You don’t act like you’re sorry, ya shithead.” There was a lot less contempt in Logan’s tone than Wade was expecting; he couldn’t exactly comment on it, but the Wolverine seemed almost happy that he had chosen to prolong his torment by being a smartass.

Wade, on the other hand, was going through it; a vibrant blush had taken residence on his cheeks, little tears of mirth showing up for the housewarming party. Worst of all, his exhaustion forced his muscles to relax, allowing snorts to catch in his throat.

“Damn, Wilson. Goin’ hog wild down there, huh?” Wade’s heart would’ve stopped right then if it were possible. Logan “Go Fuck Yourself” Howlett…made a dad joke?!

“Y-YOUHUHU MAHAHDE A JOHOHOHOKE! IHI’M SOHOHO PROUHUHUD!”

“Fuckin’ Christ, just shut up already!” Embarrassed from both the acknowledgement and praise, Logan dug back into Wade’s thigh to silence him; well, keep him from talking by means of hysterical laughter.

About two minutes into getting his thighs attacked by the kitty man, Wade was rethinking all his life choices that led him there. I mean, he obviously wouldn’t do anything different if he actually had the chance to, but there were some regrets. His laugh was growing raspy, a few wheezes slipping in with the snorts as he struggled to catch his breath.

Logan noticed how tired Wade was getting almost instantly. The man hadn’t smarted off in a hot second, so he figured it was time to stop; definitely not because he was taking it easy on Wade or something stupid like that…

The moment the tickles stopped, Wade drew in deep, giggle-ridden breaths as he tried to calm down. He barely noticed his wrists’ release, too tired to lower his arms anyway. It was, admittedly, an utterly adorable sight.

Noticing he was still literally straddling the anti-hero, Logan climbed off and went to grab Wade some water. When he got back to the bedroom, the merc had curled up on his side, a blanket hap-hazardly tugged over him. The eX-man rolled his eyes at the sight, turning the man to face him.

“Here, drink this.”

Despite sticking his tongue out, Wade greedily gulped down the water. His textured cheeks were still a healthy red from the tickling, the ice water both soothing his throat and cooling him off.

“Thanks, Kitty.”

“Just take a nap or somethin’, bub.” Rolling his eyes at the statement, Logan turned and trudged out of the room; neither missed the light blush on his cheeks from the nickname.

Wade settled back into his bed, sighing at the ceiling. Despite everything, he was actually going to try and improve on his spoiling restraint; he kinda deserved what came to him, even if it was totally overkill.

As for the tickling…well, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Logan could’ve cut his vocal chords or sliced his head off in the tub, but he didn’t; the man just did something silly and lighthearted to drill the lesson into his brain. It was curious, in a sense; why would he choose to be lenient with the loudmouth?

It definitely deserved some looking at, to say the least.

Maybe I’ll insult his mutton chops tomorrow. Ya know, for research purposes…

[yelenaslyubov]

You’re Mine

main masterlist || yelena belova || requests

requested anonymously

a/n: here i am finally with another story!! i’m sorry it took so long, i’ve been going through it a bit and trying to find motivation again. this definitely isn’t my best work, but nonetheless, i hope you enjoy :)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ pairing: yelena belova x fem!reader

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ warnings: MINORS DNI (18+) smut, language, daddy kink, alcohol, reader receiving, jealousy

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ description: it is New Year’s Eve, and of course the one and only Tony Stark does not miss a chance to impress with a party. you attend this party under the impression it would be just like every other event, but you are soon proved wrong after you make a mistake to talk to Kate Bishop. your girlfriend sees your encounter from afar and chooses to deal with your wrongdoing in her own way… but do you learn your lesson?

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ word count: 2k

You watched the numbers increase on the small screen above you. The elevator whirled up an extensive amount of floors and you could hear music and voices getting louder as you reached the top. To top it off, you had to listen to lousy jazz music all the way up.

The elevator jolted to a stop and the noise right outside of the doors indicated the size of the group waiting on the other side.

You inhaled deeply and adjusted your clothing nervously. This was the last party of the season and you were all but happy. Parties and holidays brought out the worst in Yelena and you were ready for them to be over. Parties in particular were a sore spot and she had been acting childish as of lately.

She was easily irritated, didn’t engage in conversation much, wanting to leave early, and most importantly—her jealousy was through the roof.

Recently there were new recruits who have been hanging around more and getting to know everyone. Yelena isn’t the friendly type, especially when it comes to other people talking to you. Of course, you were simply trying to be nice while Yelena thought of it as a threat.

You assumed tonight would be no different.

As the elevator doors eased open the sounds were almost deafening. You couldn’t tell if everyone’s voices or the music was louder, either way you had a difficult time adjusting from the tiresome elevator tunes.

You should’ve known that New Year’s Eve would be a hit at the Avengers Tower, but somehow you thought everyone would be down in Time Square observing the annual ball drop. It was only an hour until midnight so there was still time.

“Hey… y/n!”

You see a hand waving through the crowd but can’t quite make out who it is.

From in between two individuals, Peter emerges panting. “Hey! I was trying to get your attention, but it’s kinda hard with all these people.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Hey, Pete. How long have you been up here?”

“Well if you’re talking about how long I’ve been up here at the party, it’s been about 2 hours…if you’re talking about how long I’ve been up here in general…all day.”

“Peter, why on earth have you been up here all day?”

He scratches the back of his neck. “You see, Sam said—”

“That’s all I need to know,” you stopped Peter. “Anyway, have you seen Yelena around here at all?”

“Last time I saw her she was over by the bar.”

You tried to see over the mass of people crammed into the room, but it was no luck.

“Damn, there’s too many people to tell. Thanks anyways, Pete.”

You slithered past sweaty bodies to make your way over to the bar in hopes of finding Yelena there. Even after all that work, Yelena was nowhere near the bar, but there was another friendly face waiting there.

“Hey, Kate,” you greeted her.

Kate smiled back with warm cheeks. “What’s up!”

“Not much,” you responded while sitting down on the stool next to her, “just enjoying another party.”

“You sound entirely enthusiastic about it, I can see,” Kate says.

“Oh yeah, I just live for these parties. I’m definitely not tired of them after the last 5 we’ve had.”

“I’m going to agree with you on that.”

You asked the bartender for a drink to pass the time as you sat with Kate.

“How have you been liking the tower?” you asked Kate as you sipped your drink.

“It’s definitely a change of pace. Working independently out on the field versus being here with the Avengers… it’s wicked cool!” Her excitement makes you smile, remembering the time when you first were recruited.

“Don’t get too excited, sometimes you miss working alone,” you chuckle.

There was an awkward silence after your last comment, which made you think that Kate might take it the wrong way. “Don’t get me wrong, I love working in teams, but sometimes independent work helps clear your mind.”

“Makes sense… does that have anything to do with Yelena?”

You jolt your head up. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, for one, Yelena is usually the only one you go out on missions with, and two, she’s staring at you like you killed Fanny.”

Your heart leaps into your throat as you turn to face the horror Kate warned you about. Kate wasn’t exaggerating. Yelena looked as if you had just committed the crime of the century.

“Is everything alright between the two of you?” Kate asked, apprehensively.

Your eyes never left Yelena while talking to Kate. “I’m not too sure now…I’m going to have to catch up with you later.”

You left Kate at the bar as you made your way over to Yelena’s watching eyes. The closer you got to her, the more your nerves overcame you. You weren’t sure what her problem was or what you did, and you didn’t want to suffer through the consequences of her anger—especially not tonight.

You were facing her now up close, letting the music pound into your eardrums while she slowly sipped on her drink. “Fun party, right?” Yelena yelled.

“Not really.” You stared at her once again, hoping she might elaborate on her previous death stare.

“No? Hmm, that’s too bad, I’m having a great-”

“Yelena, cut the act.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”

“I don’t know anything.” She smirked, but not the good kind of smirk. It was the kind of smirk where you know you had either fucked up or she did something awful.

“What did you do?” you asked.

“I didn’t do anything.” Her emphasis gave you all the clues you needed.

“Then what did I do?”

Yelena didn’t answer. She kept standing there taking small, occasional sips of her drink, almost as if the conversation was just as meaningless as the party.

“Yelena, I’m not doing this here.”

“Well, then let’s find somewhere else to do it then.”

You didn’t like her attitude at all, but you also didn’t want to leave the conversation unfinished. You looked around behind Yelena to see one of the many hallways they could sneak off to. You grabbed Yelena’s hand and pulled her down the hallway into a room.

“Is this satisfactory for you?” you asked, matching her attitude.

Yelena looked around the closet you managed to find. “It’s a bit small, but-”

“Oh, would you stop it!”

“No!” Yelena placed her hand firmly around your neck, slamming you against the closet door. “You stop it!”

You looked at her in shock. This wasn’t to say that this gesture was out of the ordinary from Yelena, but it was her ability to shut down so quickly that took you by surprise.

“You’ve been acting like a little slut lately,” she sternly said. Yelena could tell you were confused by her accusation. “Aw, you need help remembering how you embarrassed daddy?”

You tried to move your head forward to release Yelena’s right grip from your neck. “Yelena-” you started, but your head was pressed against the door once again.

“Don’t you know you don’t get to talk to other girls?” She moved her lips closer to your ear. “Don’t you know you’re mine, baby?” she whispered so delicately into your ear, your hair standing on edge.

Kate.

Yelena must have seen the realization written all over your face. You had been cutting it up with Kate while you were waiting to find Yelena. Little did you know, Yelena had been observing the two of you for a short time.

“Yelena, it’s not what it looks like,” you whispered.

“Oh, it’s not? Because it looked like you were interested in messing around with someone else, hmm?”

“No, that's not-”

“Ah ah,” she tuts. “I don’t want to hear excuses, baby…prove it to me.”

Your chest tightened. “Prove… what?”

Yelena smirked at you while her hand traced down the front of your frame. Her fingers ever so delicately slipped under the band of your pants.

“Yelena…” You could tell there was no stopping her from what she aimed to get from you.

“I want you,” she started, pausing while pushing her fingers past the barrier of your underwear, “to prove I’m yours.”

You were eye to eye now. Yelena’s eyes hung lazily with lust and revenge. She wanted to make you squirm… make you pay for how you made her feel.

She started rubbing gently against your clit, just enough to tease you. “Say it… ‘I’m yours.’”

“Yelena, please…”

“Say it!” she said, getting impatient. Her mouth was brushing against your ear, her breath hot against your skin. She bit your ear gently, hoping that you would make any kind of noise to grab her attention.

“I-I’m yours,” you whispered.

“That’s not loud enough, I can’t hear you.” With her words she picked up pace.

“I’m yours,” you moaned. You grabbed onto the wall in preparation for your legs to give out very soon. You even found yourself moving your hips against Yelena’s hand, your body craving her touch even more.

But you were angry with her. You were angry that Yelena was angry over nothing. This wasn’t unusual, which was the frustrating part, but you couldn’t help but drown in pleasure. Though it wasn’t Yelena’s intention to put you in a better mood, it was working either way.

“Such a good girl riding my fingers for me, but I want you to keep going. You can’t cum until I tell you to, baby.” The more she edged you on it only made you come closer to the edge.

In addition, you suddenly became aware of how loud you were being. You gained consciousness and were afraid everyone could hear you.

What if they notice you’re gone? What if they heard you? Or worse… What if they find you?

Your brain began scrambling. You couldn’t focus on the present, only what lies beyond the small closet the two of you were tucked behind.

Yelena could tell you were antsy, which only caused her more grief. Her other hand that was placed firmly on your hip tightened. She was keeping you in place so there was nowhere for you to run.

“I didn’t tell you to stop; keep talking,” she demanded. “I want you to scream my name loud enough to forget hers.”

The anger you were feeling started to melt away into only an ecstasy of pleasure. You couldn’t resist the way she felt against you, and you couldn’t possibly turn her away now.

“I’m yours,” you responded for her.

“That’s a good girl, but you’re going to need to be louder if you really mean it.”

“I’m yours!”

“There you go, pretty girl. I knew you could do it.” Her words went straight to your head, sending you farther into a daze. Your previous fear of your closet endeavors being seen had faded away, now all that was left was you and Yelena.

“You getting close, baby?”

She knew you so well. Your legs were quivering, your breathing was erratic, and your nails were digging deeper into the back of Yelena’s neck.

“I know you’re so close, but I need to hear you,” she begged of you.

“Please, Yelena,” you whined. “I’ll be good.”

“Aw, will you baby? Have you learned your lesson?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then show me…cum baby.”

“Oh, Yelena!”

You came undone per her command. You tried to cover your mouth to muffle the sounds that could be heard outside the door, but Yelena quickly swatted your hand away. She wanted everyone to know you were hers.

After you calmed down, you tried your best to support yourself on your weak legs. You opened your eyes to meet Yelena’s piercing stare. You definitely felt better but you could tell that Yelena wasn’t completely satisfied.

You had lost track of time until you heard the large crowd outside the door counting down to midnight. Of course you expected a kiss from Yelena for the occasion, but instead you watched her wipe her fingers on her pants and head out of the door.

You were suddenly left alone as the celebration outside continued. You leaned against the door and slid down until you reached the bottom. As you sat there, you wondered what possible lesson Yelena could be teaching you by leaving you alone at the top of the New Year.

//

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[dirtylittlefairytales]

Don't play with fire | - Part 1 - |

Authors Note: Hey. This is my first try ever writing in English, since it's not my first language. I read it over several times, hopefully to correct all mistakes. Also this is the first try of fanfiction since 2016. Sooo I appreciate feedback and let me know what you think.. Please be kind. 🙏🥹

Originally I wanted to write a short backstory, but I think it’s just going to be multiple parts if you want to read it. So see this as a kind of introduction. In further chapters I wanted to try myself to write my smut fantasies out. I'm also going to upload this later to Ao3 under the username Lorily96.

-> Writing in 'italic' is supposed to be the your thoughts

Warnings: Describing of a Panic attack, Age Gap (Legal)

Word count: 8k

Tagging: @a-movie-that-youve-never-seen, @amethystblackkchaos, @hereforthehitsbaby

Some people say life is a cruel joke. Unexpected twists and pain waiting around every corner. Some people say the glass is never empty and everything happens for a reason. You can learn from anything.  Everyone you meet is either there for a reason, for a season or... for ever. However the world is not black and white, sometimes there is no reason at all. You know how you sometimes laugh when something bad happens to a stranger or friend. Like their ice cream falling to the ground, seeing a cop writing a ticket for somebody else. I think ‘Life’ itself is bored just like us. That's why sometimes you feel like it’s only getting worse. Doesn’t matter what you do, there is no luck to be found. That's exactly how you felt that day. Just strings of bad luck and to this day you still question yourself. Why? Why didn’t you say something? Why did you do it? Why didn’t you walk away? How did all of this happen in the first place? The events of that day living rent-free in your head, keeping you up at night.

~ Sometimes Life has a dark and twisted humor. ~

All those overprotective dads, who only want the best for their daughter. Your dad was one of them. He always told you: "Be wary of strangers", "Never tell someone your name if you feel something is off", “Go with your gut feeling” and "don't go near the car of a stranger". Seriously, he had good points.

Unfortunately, he didn’t tell you what to do, when you suspect someone is a serial killer. Maybe running or keeping your nose out of the situation would have been a great option. Well, since daddy had been out of the picture since you were 12, maybe he would have some kind of advice for that. Your mom had found out he was cheating, and after the divorce, he cared more about his new girlfriend and son than you. Why care about the daughter you raised for 12 years, your beloved wife, when you can just throw it away and play happy family with the next woman you find.

At times, you wonder if that's the reason you had some kind of daddy issues. Perhaps you liked older men like him because of that. Even today, his face still haunts and excites you at the same time. Remembering how drawn you were to him. He was so charming and devilishly handsome. You felt sick and appalled at yourself for feeling this way. Everything he did, seemed to play into his hands. Who would suspect the nice and charming dad next door? How many times did you lay awake in bed at night, the events of that day replaying themselves over and over. Like a continuous loop with no escape… 

It felt like yesterday. The only reason you were at the concert in the first place was because one of the other guys quit a week before. You couldn’t even blame him, since your boss was a total dick. Ever since you started working in the company a year ago he was just looking for a reason to fire you. Always criticizing you, commenting when your bathroom break was too long. Wore a skirt? Too provocative. Wore a sweater? Be more professional. You could make a whole list of the things he pulled off. You fucking hated working in that place and even more to work outside or around many people. You chose to work in IT because you could work alone and in peace. 

Outside of work, you were a relatively social person. Many friends and people seemed to like you. Despite preferring to rather stay home alone, with your cat and books, you were surprisingly good at making conversations. It felt strange, kind of ironic. Life had a stupid sense of humor. Sometimes you even felt like you were good at reading people. Your mom called it your sixth sense.

Working at the arena for the concert was a real hassle. It was so stressful. Over a week before the actual concert there was already a meeting. Everybody working in the stadium that night was there. They didn’t reveal too much that day. Apparently the whole concert was also a trap for this serial killer? 

They called him - The Butcher 

You remember hearing and reading about him in the news. He had killed 12 people till now and the FBI was sure he was going to show up there. Everything was top secret, everyone had an extra card for controls during that day and a code word. On the day of the concert you arrived extra early to get the last directions for the day. They even told you what he potentially could look like.

Work was boring. The company you were working for was responsible for ensuring that all the screens, cameras were working, both on the outside and on the stage, that the wifi was stable and so on… not the hardest task. There also were others who ensured the overall technology and speakers worked, but that wasn’t your job. Most of the time you and your colleague were sitting backstage, talking shit about your boss and listening to the show, at least you were, because lovely colleague Eric would do most of the stuff alone. What a sweetheart, right?

It felt a bit bad taking advantage of him. You knew he had a big crush on you, he wasn’t exactly hiding it. Relaxing backstage appealed more to you. Therefore it was totally fine with your conscience. This job was a pain in the ass and you already started applying for new jobs. You just had to hang on for a few more weeks. Hoping you could quit soon and work in a non toxic environment.

The first half of the concert remained uneventful. Fortunately, because your room was in the backstage area, you even talked to Lady Raven for a bit on her break. She was so nice and friendly. On and off stage, her whole personality was the same. Which you found truly great, a person like that was hard to find nowadays. The thinker for example seemed like a total dick from what you saw. Lady Raven and you also had some similar interests, it was so easy to talk to her.After asking about it, she told you that they hadn’t found the Butcher yet. She even told you a few more details on how the police got the information of him being there. Before she left you wished her good luck with the rest of her show and went back to work for a bit. 

Later on during the second half of the show, you stepped near the stage. The atmosphere felt incredible. The lights, the performance on stage and the fans screaming and singing the songs of Lady Raven. How you wished to be standing in the crowd just vibing and dancing to the music instead of working. If it weren’t for all the extra police and security in the arena, it would be a normal concert. 

Slowly you started making your way backstage as you saw people approaching from the audience room. Honestly you weren’t keen on talking to many people. Lady Raven started talking and announcing her dreamer girl, Riley. That must be why the people came in from the audience. At the end of the stage you turned around again. On your former spot stood a man. He was tall, with a nice backside, no doubt the father of the dreamer girl, looking at the stage.  Though he seemed to take a quick look around every now and then. Looking at him, he didn’t look like he was having much fun being here. He looked rather stiff. As you started walking back in his direction to get a better look, Eric called you. Sighing, you turned around. As you were making your way backstage, you felt like someone was watching you. 

“Hey, somewhere outside, a monitor has a bluescreen. I'll quickly go fix it. The show is nearly over. After that, we can start with cleaning things up.” Eric told you, as you walked down the stairs towards him.

“Okay, do you need my help?” You asked him, pushing a blonde strand of hair behind your ear, batting your eyes at him, hoping he would say no. 

“No of course not! I can do it alone. The problem is not that hard.” he answered, trying to show off.

You smiled. “Okay great! Then, see you later.” 

You walked past him into the backstage area. It wasn't that you disliked him, he was nice for a work colleague. However, nothing more. For one you had not much in common besides work, and he was a pushover. You could not imagine being with a man who had no opinion and just waited for you say anything until he stated his opinion. 

‘Like have an opinion, Boy?’ Rolling your eyes at the mere thought of his personality, you grabbed yourself a drink and went back to your little break room.

There you waited for the concert to finish, which you knew shouldn’t take too long now. When you heard the last song finished you decided to grab your purse and go into the hallway. Considering it was too good of an opportunity to pass by. When would you ever see celebrities up so close again? Maybe you could ask Lady Raven for a selfie? Or an autograph? You weren’t the biggest fan, but there was a possibility you could sell that autograph later on.

Uncertain where to go, you stood in the hallway. Dancers ran past you. Nobody seemed to take much notice of you. Coming from the left, you saw the thinker walking towards you, and kind of flirting with someone behind him. ‘Spicy.’ A light chuckle escaped you. Curiosity filled your brain and you decided to head in the direction he came from.

In the middle of the hallway, where several corridors met, stood Riley, the dreamer girl and her dad. If you remembered her name correctly that is. You stopped walking and observed them quietly from a little further away. 

‘Did the Thinker flirt with him?’ Now that you got a better view of him, you found that theory pretty reasonable. It felt almost unfair how attractive he looked. 

‘Was he married? Presumably.’ Not that you would consider making a move, besides his daughter was standing right next to him. That would be so awkward. Also remembering, the last time you let someone in, things unraveled in ways that left you a bit guarded. Despite your people skills, your mom and you apparently both had a thing for cheaters. After a year of being single, you told yourself it was for the best. Except for your job, life was good– At least that's what you tried to tell yourself.

Nevertheless you would never have considered being attracted to older men. He was at least 10 years older than you, maybe more. You were 25, and he could easily be in his 30s or even early 40s. All of a sudden the profiler’s description came back into your head: tall, strong, dark hair... 

Even though you've never been overly spiritual, you did believe in a sixth sense. The longer you thought about it, him standing in that hallway backstage. The way he subtly kept looking around for a second. Nobody noticed. ‘Wait… Did he notice you watching them?’ 

Pulling out your phone, you started swiping and typing randomly. Trying to look busy. Your thoughts were racing. He matched the description perfectly, and here he was, casually joking with his daughter like he didn’t have a care in the world. Despite his friendly smile and demeanor, there was something unsettling about him—a bit too friendly, almost fake? 

After looking at him a bit more, it just clicked into place. You couldn’t shake off the feeling that that may be him, the Butcher. Until now they hadn't found him, not that you knew of. So they were still searching for him. People backstage were rarely searched, except when they wanted to leave the arena.

‘God, you should think rationally. Could that really be him? Still he seemed normal…’

Except the look in his eyes. That look gave you unpleasant goosebumps. You grew anxious, you knew where the camera room was. Police officers were definitely going to be there and maybe the profiler was there. Then you could ask her if the man had been checked by security or talk to her about your uneasy feeling. 

Unfortunately you would have to pass him to get to the camera office. If he hadn't noticed you before, he certainly would then. Could you keep your cool? It didn’t matter. You knew you would overthink it in the evening, you had to do it. Your heart was starting to pound audibly in your chest. 

‘Deep breaths–

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and go. Don't panic.’ Grabbing your phone tightly in your hand, you started walking. 

As you approached them, Lady Raven emerged from her dressing room and started talking to Riley. She was so happy, grinning from ear to ear. As they chatted happily, the dad leaned forward and whispered something to Lady Raven that you couldn't make out. 

As soon as you heard her tell his daughter that they would talk shortly, alarm bells were going off in your head. Your brain stopped working, and your legs and mouth moved on their own. You felt a certain hero complex activating within you. ‘What if he was the Butcher? There was a possibility’

You felt uncomfortable leaving her alone with him. Something felt off. Before they could leave, you sprinted the last few meters towards them. Trying to cry on arrival. 

“Lady Raven, hay… I eh.. I.. I don't... Could I.. could I talk to you for a second? Please, I don't know what to do.. I–” you sniffled. You tried your best to cry. ‘Come one, you could lie better than that’, you thought angrily at yourself. ‘Who would believe you like this?’ This wasn’t going to be the first lie you ever told. You even lied on your last résumé. 

She immediately turned around her face full of concern and worry. For a second you thought you saw his jaw tensing and left eye twitch. ‘Did you imagine it? ‘

“Oh no. Hey, what's going on? You’re Y/N, right? We met earlier.” You nodded your head, keeping the hand over your lower face, while trying to remain in tears. For once, you were glad that you chose to wear your hair open today. Your long blond locks shielded your face even more from the prying eyes around you. 

“What's going on? Are you alright? Did something happen?” She asked more and more questions, putting her hand on your shoulder, trying to comfort you.

“There was an accident, I...“ You just kept mumbling incomprehensible nonsense. Still shaking, sobbing, trying not to look up. You didn't even know what to do, what to say. 

“Hay, ehm… I’m so sorry. Could you give us a second? I will be right back. It won’t take long.." she said, apologizing to the two of them. 

“Of course, no problem. This seems serious! Take your time.”, said the man, his voice laced with concern.

‘Why did he sound so genuine, like he is truly concerned? Maybe I judged him too fast?‘

Gently Lady Raven took one of your hands and started to lead you away. It didn’t matter anyway, there was no going back. Now you need to play your outburst to the end and come up with a plausible story. While she brought you into her dressing room, it felt as if someone was staring holes into your back. 

After the door closed, you immediately felt more at ease. Bit by bit you tried to calm yourself. At least that was what it seemed on the outside. You don’t remember much of what you told her, some kind of sob story. The first idea that came into your mind. About your dad having a car accident. The whole car crashed... With your car being parked further away from the arena and you were so afraid your dad could die. That you at worst wouldn't make it to the hospital in time with all the police controls going on in and outside the arena. 

You cried, trying to think your story would be about your mom and not your dad. Which did the trick and made you sad. Being the kind person she is, Lady Raven suggested that you could drive with her in her limo, so you didn't have to go through the queues or security, and she would take you to the hospital or your car. You thanked her over and over again, as you wiped your tears away. 

How high was the possibility that the dad would like to briefly speak to Lady Raven again, when you went in the hallway again? Then everything would have been in vain. However you could’t pressure her. Something came over you, so you suggested that perhaps the other two could join them. Maybe they could also drive in the car? You tried explaining your suggestion somewhat rationally. That way she can still talk with the dad,

you would feel extremely bad if you kept her from talking to her fans. You didn’t want to cause any more trouble. 

Surprisingly, that seemed to work? No further persuasion was necessary. Which left you very surprised and perplexed. Was she truly such a kind person? Who was so trusting? Especially with everything that was going on here today. ‘Did she have such a shielded and good life, that she blindly believed you?’ You wondered.

‘Unimaginable…that could not be the case. You didn’t believe there were any truly good people left in this world.’

After another minute of collecting yourself, you went after Lady Raven. She had already gone ahead and had already told them the short version of what was going on, when you arrived. Asking them if they wanted to come too, so she and the dad could have their talk. She was way too kind and somewhat naive to even suspect you’d be lying. You almost felt ashamed of yourself, even stupid. What were you even doing?

The daughter gasped and tried not to jump up and down in joy, the way she gripped her dad's arm. She seemed to be torn between worrying about you and happiness. By being asked to drive with Lady Raven, her seemingly favorite artist in the world. She was honored and extremely happy for a few seconds, then she stopped and looked at you sympathetically. 

“I’m so sorry about the thing with your dad...” Nodding weakly at her, trying to keep your act up, you gave her a half smile. Unknowingly to you, you had started twisting the ring on your middle finger. A Tic. Something you always did when you're stressed out or nervous. 

The ring was nothing special. A plain black ring with some Greek numbers on it. A gift from your mom; from the only holiday you ever had taken outside the USA and since you were eighteen, there was hardly a day you didn’t wear it. 

“Why don’t we lead the way? That way, we can talk.” said Lady Raven and gestured to the man. 

“Yes of course... I mean, the circumstances are not the best, but thank you for considering Riley and me. We appreciate it.” He replied, looking concerned but with something unreadable in his eyes that made you want to look anywhere but at him. 

“It is no problem at all. Actually it was Y/N here suggesting it. She would have felt bad if we hadn't been able to have our conversation because of her.”

He raised a brow at you. “That is so thoughtful and kind of you to still think of others. Something really rare these days”

As he walked past you, he briefly touched your shoulder, making you nearly jump out of your skin. “And I’m really sorry about your dad. I hope he pulls through. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help” he smiled kindly at you.. 

“Yes, I hope so too. Thank you…” You trailed off, realizing you didn’t know his name. 

“Oh I didn’t even introduce myself. I'm Cooper, just call me Cooper.” holding out his hand.

“Well, thank you Cooper. Also, for your offer, maybe I will come back to that." you shook his hand. He had a firm, but not to strong grip. 'so he was married'

"Let’s get going, please.” Somewhere in between Cooper coming close to you, you almost forgot that you had a mission to get to the hospital fast. Daddy dearest was waiting.

He nodded and as he passed you, walking ahead, you suddenly realized just how big that man was. You hadn't even noticed it before. However, standing right next to him you realized it. He was at least 6′2″, not overly muscular, but also not skinny either. Lady Raven seemed tiny next to him, and you weren’t tall yourself—maybe around 5′5″ on a good day. 

Still, something about his vibe felt off. He seemed caring, yet on the other hand, almost relieved—or amused? 

Riley and you walked a bit behind the two to the cat, nobody had to go through any controls. Riley was such a sweet girl, asking you questions or talking about the concert to ‘take your mind off of your situation’. She was so nice. You kind of wish that you had a little sister like her, but no, you only had a half brother. The only reason he ever contacted you was for money from our grandparents' inheritance.

It was only when you reached the end of the corridor, you noticed Cooper looking over his shoulder. One corner of his mouth pulled upwards and his expression changed. Something sinister in his eyes for a split second. So fast that you were doubting yourself again.

Near the limousine, you felt your phone vibrating, probably Eric wanting to ask where you were. You had no time for that now. Shaking your head, you declined the call and started to write to him, saying that an emergency had come up and you would be back later. You didn’t notice that you arrived at the car until someone cleared their throat in front of you.  

Fuck, you almost ran directly into Cooper. Lady Raven and Riley had already gone inside. He looked at me expectantly, a small smile at his lips. You quickly locked your phone and held it up. “Sorry, my… Sister. She gave me the latest updates on our dad.." you explained, the lies just kept rolling off your tongue, and you just hoped they sounded believable. With that you went straight to the car, without waiting for a response. 

Maybe you should have started an acting career… 

You quickly sat down in the car, with Cooper following shortly after you. Keeping your phone in your hand to secretly keep twisting your ring behind it.

This guy was making you so nervous, not only him but also the lies. You even thought you heard a small deep chuckle from behind you, maybe it was just your nerves? The car started moving. You wondered what they talked about… What did he want to talk about to her? 

Lady Raven's voice brought you out of your thoughts. “Y/N, where should I let you out? You remember where you parked your car? Or should we drive directly to the hospital?” 

Car yeah… you almost laughed. You knew exactly where your car was, a few miles away at the mechanic, because your lights weren’t working. Why hadn’t you thought of that. 

“Eh no, no! Just let me know where my car is. It’s a few blocks away. At this free parking space. There’s my car; let me look up the street real quick…” That wasn't a complete lie. Normally, you would park your car there, because it was just cheaper than parking near or in the stadium. Now just your bike was parked there, well, if nobody had stolen it.

You started to unlock your phone to look up the address. A large hand grabbed your hand with your phone to stop you. Before you could even protest or say something, Cooper started talking in his chipper, happy voice. 

“Really? What a coincidence! I think that should be the same parking lot where Riley and I parked my car earlier. I do know the address, it’s just around the corner.  You don't have to look it up.” Lady Raven pressed a button and Cooper told the chauffeur where to go. The address did sound somewhat familiar. You pulled your phone and hand out of his grip. There wasn't much resistance and he put his hands back into his lap. 

You looked back at Riley and Lady Raven, they were deeply engaged in a conversation with each other. Noticing nothing around the. The phone in your hand started ringing again, and you quickly looked at the screen. This time, it was your boss; should you just accept the call? You did not get much time to think about it. 

“Have you heard anything yet?”, came Riley’s question towards you. 

You started twisting your ring again. 

“Ah yes, yes… My brother texted me..” your breath caught in your throat. Realizing you messed up. ‘Didn’t you just say to Cooper that it was your sister? Maybe he didn't notice. Good thing you hadn’t pursued your acting career…‘

“...and the doctor said it doesn’t look critical. Our dad seems stable at the moment�� but he needs to be operated on quickly.. I'm sure I will get more information as soon as…” 

All of a sudden the whole car jolted to a stop, followed by wild car honking. You tried to find your footing, unintentionally gripping onto Cooper's thigh. Right before you could fall off your seat a hand pressed against your shoulder and pushed you back into the seat. You dug your nails even more into his thigh. Riley's bags tipped forward and many of the contents scattered a little on the floor. “Sorry, Lady Raven. The car in front of us braked abruptly." The driver apologized. 

“Everyone alright?” Cooper asked, concern dripping in his voice. 

“All good” said Riley and Lady Raven nodded. 

“Yes, I think so..” you  breathed. He came closer pushing a loose strand behind your ear. A blush crept on your face. After another second, you noticed your hand was still on his thigh, and you blushed even more. 

“Oh I’m sorry!” You exclaimed in a panic. He smiled kindly. 

“No problem. I’m glad nobody got hurt.” Then he got up from his seat to help Riley pick her things back up and put them back into the bags. 

Your phone began to ring again. ‘It’s now or never; it would only get worse.’

With a sigh, you picked up the phone and immediately held the phone as far away as possible from your ear. A loud voice screaming through the speaker. Seemed like your boss just started screaming at you at the top of his lungs. 

You mouthed a quick ‘Sorry’ to the others in front of you. He kept on screaming, ranting about how you were not at work and how he always knew you were a lazy piece of shit. He should have fired me months ago… The list goes on.

As Cooper sat back down. You tried to move your body back in the direction of your phone. Seeing as you didn't want to be too close to Cooper. He didn't seem to mind and put a calming hand on your knee this time. Your mind seemed to go fuzzy when you got near him.

Overall this was not your day, your nerves were all over the place. Your feelings felt like they were on a rollercoaster. You still weren't sure if your gut feeling was right… but you also didn't want to find out. All the lies you told today and now your boss is screaming at you? It was just too much. Clenching your fist and putting the phone near your ear again. 

“I quit.” were the only words you said, dry of any emotion. 

“What did you say?” came the angry reply. 

“I quit” Hot tears were forming in your eyes, Cooper gently started to caress your knee. “i’m so fucking done. You don't know what I am going through right now! Someone could die, and you don't even let me explain myself. So go to hell, and I fucking quit.” Enraged, you ended the call and immediately blocked his number. 

You put your head in your hands and sigh. 

“I'm sorry… Sorry, you had to hear that. Everything goes wrong…” And with that, a sob escapes you. 

‘Nobody can see my face, right? So maybe act even more sad? ‘

This whole day was a curse, why were you even here? Because you felt bad vibes from the dilf next to you? You just wanted to laugh over the whole situation. 

‘You were fucking stupid and now jobless. Great work. Just because you wanted to play the hero, because of a stupid gut feeling. He was a normal dad. Not the Butcher. ‘ 

“Don't think like that. You said it yourself; your dad is stable, so that's a good thing. Maybe I can help you get a new job!” Lady Raven is really trying to cheer you up. 

Someone rubbed your back gently, and there was only one person who could do that. You tried your hardest to ignore his comforting touch. 

“Hay Y/N, I know you just met us, and you don't know me. But I bet a girl like you will easily find a new job. You seem like a good person. If you tell me in which field you work, I'm sure I could help. See if someone I know is hiring. How does that sound?” Cooper really tried to comfort you. He was so sympathetic and strangely charming. 

A small laugh escapes you. "Yes, I probably will..” You wipe away your angry tears’. 

“I mean… I already sent out job applications. I wanted to leave anyway, maybe I will get a job here in Philly or maybe where my mom lives. She lives more in the suburbs, like an hour away I think…” you paused. 

‘Why did you suddenly decide to tell him so much about yourself? Didn't you want to keep a low profile and not give too much real information?‘

This guy certainly knew how to make people talk. About everything, even things they may not want to share and then do without even realizing it. ‘Fuck’

“See! Now you're even smiling again. You just need to see the positive things.” With that, he squeezed your shoulder lightly and withdrew his hand from your back. Making you almost miss the comfort and warmth they had brought you. 

Stop crushing on the hot dad next to you! You tried to remind yourself and also remember all the things you thought were off with him.

“We're here,” the chauffeur announced. Great, finally. This car ride felt like an eternity. 

Cooper and Riley got out of the car first, and they said their goodbyes. Riley, of course, needed one last hug, and Cooper simply thanked her again for what she did for Riley. Before you got out of the car, Lady Raven pulled you in for a hug. 

“Please keep me updated on how things are at the hospital and if you need something. Just text me.” She pulled out her phone and pulled up Instagram. 

“Just search for your username, and I'll add you. That way, we can keep in touch.” 

You nodded and put in your name, and handed the phone back to her. 

“Thank you.. so much. Again. I'm so sorry for any inconvenience I caused. I won't forget this. Thank you! Next time, I’ll be in the front row singing your songs.” 

She laughed at that and nodded. While stepping outside the car, you crossed both fingers that the other two were gone.

Unfortunately, Cooper and his daughter waited for you. You had thought that by staying longer in the car, they would be gone already. No lucky day for you

You scanned the parking lot, and of course, your bike was stolen. The universe was just being cruel now. 

“So let us walk you to your car!” Cooper was way too happy, waving the limousine of Lady Raven goodbye. “Sure..” You started walking towards the cars. 

You were clueless on how to get out of this situation. Abruptly stopping, you looked around. 

“I don't see my car..” you say while looking around again. You sigh extra loudly. 

“Fuck me..”

“Your car got towed?” Cooper 

“Maybe” a dry laugh escapes you. 

“Or maybe with everything going on and all the things that were going on at the concert, I… just forgot where I parked my car.” You ran your fingers through your hair. 

"Well, if you tell me which hospital you need to go to, I'm certain Riley and I can make a little detour on our way home. Right Riley?” Riley nodded. 

“Of course, I’d be happy if we could help you out” she said, hopeful.

Right… the hospital. You should get better at remembering your lies. You were torn between keeping your lie up or simply turning around and walking away. 

You didn’t know what to do. Cooper seemed a bit strange at times, but he could not be the Butcher, right? Still while looking at him you felt like something didn't add up. Sometimes… you didn’t know how to describe it… He felt too perfect, too caring or too sweet. Maybe that was just who he was? You were lost in thought.. The look in his eyes was making you feel a bit uneasy. 

All of a sudden, Cooper's hand was behind your back, and he slowly pushed you forward. “If you can't decide, I will decide for you. Going to the hospital should be the most important thing. So we'll drive you and then you can worry about your car later. Okay?” 

You nodded your head at his idea, simply because you didn't trust your words at the moment. His hand wandered up to your shoulder, where he kept a firm grip and pushed you in the direction of his car. 

Riley was already running in front of you. You winced under his touch, did he know his own strength? You wondered. He certainly didn't look that strong. He opened the car a few meters away so Riley could already put her bags in the trunk. 

A black van

You suddenly remembered what Eric told you about the profiler, she suspected the Butcher to drive a car like this? 

Your body tensed up, and you felt like the pressure on your shoulder increased, which was almost painful. Surely that was going to bruise . Cooper opened the back door for you like you were a child being escorted home. You tried to muster your best friendly face before you sat down inside. 

“Thank you... Have you had this car for a long time?” You asked before you could stop yourself. Cooper raised an eyebrow, clearly pondering the question before answering. 

“Yes, I have had it for quite a few years now. Why are you asking?” Should you just tell him? 

It was just the trip to the hospital.. then you would never have to see them again. You could not fuck up even more than you already had, and until now, it was just an uneasy gut feeling. Also, you were trying to move back to your mom, who was at least an hour away. 

“No real reason.. Just that profiler from the concert. She talked so much, about everything and also about cars... especially mentioning a car like this, which could potentially be the car of a-… killer.” 

He only stared at you. 

‘Did you say something wrong? Maybe you’re the weird one now.’ Nervously rubbing your neck, you tried to lighten the mood with a laugh. 

Thankfully, Riley was just on her way to the passenger seat. She didn't hear her, no need to scare her. You didn’t think she knew about what was going on behind the scenes of the concert. 

“So maybe you should switch it up? But maybe she was just talking nonsense..” you tried to diffuse the situation, massaging your sore shoulder. 

Cooper smiled and laughed softly. "Well, thanks for the tip. I thought about getting a new car. Maybe I should finally get one. More family friendly, any ‘smart’ suggestions perhaps?” - 

“Hmm..maybe just something smaller, maybe in white, silver, or another color? Definitiv not black..” you smile. 

“Great. I will keep that in mind when I buy a new car.” he smiled back at you and closed the door, and got in the driver's seat. He seemed like he wanted to ask more questions, tapping his finger on the steering wheel. 

Quickly, you got your phone out and searched for a hospital near you. You found one which was 15 minutes away. When Cooper started the car you leaned forward, so much that your head nearly reached his shoulder and you could smell his aftershave. ‘He even smelled good.’ You showed him your phone. 

“Here, that's the hospital where I need to go.” He slightly turned around to get a better look at the screen. 

“Can I?” He gestured to the phone. “Just to get a better look.” 

You gulped, a nervous feeling growing in your stomach. “Yeah sure..” 

He didn’t even wait for your reply and grabbed the phone. 

“You got some kind of privacy screen on here?” he asked with a raised brow. 

Oh yeah, how could you forget, and here you thought he wanted to take your phone from you. When he couldn’t even see the screen. 

“Yeah! Sorry, I totally forgot. My boss had cameras everywhere in the building, I got a bit paranoid, so I bought one of those..” you laughed. 

“He doesn’t sound very nice. Maybe it’s a good thing you don’t have to work there anymore!” replied Riley. 

“Yeah.. maybe”

“You could just work at my school, our teacher for IT sucks..” 

Cooper glanced at her disapprovingly, slowly shaking his head.  “Riley…”- 

"Sorry, dad, it's the truth. He lives in the past. No one uses Windows XP anymore." Riley grumbled. 

Cooper started the car, and Lady Raven's music was playing loudly over the speakers before he turned the volume down. After a few minutes of driving and Riley vibing to the music, Cooper cleared his throat. 

"Here, you can have your phone back. Oh and I took the liberty of saving my number on your phone. That way, if you ever need anything or some help finding your car later, you can just give me a quick call.” 

What the fuck. He did what now?

He smiled at you through the rearview mirror, his eyes watching you closely. Carefully, you grabbed your phone out of his hands. 

“That's so… thoughtful. Thank you” You tried to put a smile on your face. 

"So, Riley, how did you like the concert?” You tried changing the topic. Oh boy, that worked. Riley started rambling about everything, including how cool it was to be on stage with Lady Raven. Unconsciously, you found yourself smiling a real smile, she was just so cute. Your eyes flickered to the rearview mirror every so often, and as soon as you met Cooper's eyes, you looked back at Riley. Let’s not get lost because of his good looks. You still felt uneasy.  

You tried telling yourself in your head. Somehow, you felt like a prey being watched by his predator. Once in a while you felt like his expression would flicker for a split second, his eyes becoming way darker, but it was gone so soon. You weren’t even sure if you saw it correctly or if it was your imagination. Even though the feeling was only there for a split second, He looked so friendly, encouraging Riley to talk more. 

Finally, you could make out the hospital in the distance. About time, you thought. 

“Hey Y/N?” Riley asked. 

“Yes?”- 

“Maybe when your dad is better again, you can visit us? I feel so bad for you. Today should have been a great day. _You seem really cool… I mean, your dad and family can come too..Right dad?” Cooper smiled and nodded. 

“Great, Like a family dinner, my mom is a great cook.” So he was married. “I just would like to do something nice for you.” Oh god, the world didn’t deserve her kindness. 

“Of course, you don't have to feel compelled to do so. Think about it, you don’t have to decide now..” Cooper interjected. 

“The two of you are too kind. I can't,” more like won't, “give you an answer right now, but I promise to think about it. Okay?” You fake-gushed at the two, your face hurting from keeping the smile on your face. 

Both Cooper and Riley seemed satisfied with the answer. You felt like you were in the wrong movie, was there a hidden camera somewhere? You arrived within the next minute. Cooper parked his car near the emergency exit. One moment away from freedom, away from this lie. 

“I can’t really thank you enough. Thanks for driving me here. I hope you had a great day. Have a safe drive home.” You tried opening the door, but it wouldn’t budge. “Oh, child safety must be on. I’m sorry, I forgot.” apologized to Copper and exited the van to open your door. You didn’t believe him, it just matched too well. 

“I hope you get good news inside. Dad acted really strange today, but I’m happy everything is normal again.” she smiled, before you could answer, and your door opened. 

Daddy is acting strange today. You don’t say…  

“Well, bye, Riley.” You waved at her and got out and barely got your hand out of the doof before Cooper shut it close. 

“I’m so glad we could help you.” he said with that charming voice of his. He started to walk with you towards the building. “With all the extra police force, because of the Butcher, it could have taken you at least an hour to get here.”

“That's true. Well maybe next time he shouldn't let his recipes laying around in his hideouts. What does he even want at a pop concert?” you snorted. 

“Did he now?” Cooper asked intrigued.

“At least that's what I overheard from a few higher up people today.”, no way you were saying that it was Lady Raven who told you.

“Seems like he needs to be cleaner and more careful.”

“If not, they might just catch him next time,” you joked.

“I don't think that will happen, sweetheart.” His mouth twitched in amusement.

That was a weird response. He must have seen the frown on your face, as he quickly started to explain himself.

“I mean if they didn't catch him today, while they knew he was going to be there. I think the chances of the police finding him again are relatively close to zero.” His reply sounded reasonable. 

“Well yes, but he fucked up once. Maybe he is getting sloppy with time. Nobody knows.” 

His jaw clenched. “You think so? Maybe you're misinterpreting the situation. I would imagine someone like him to be very calculated.  Otherwise the police would have found him already, if he was being sloppy.”

“True…” You shrugged your shoulders. Maybe you were wrong, but why did he sound somewhat angry at your statement?

He was honestly acting strange now. 

“Well I think this is where I leave you.” Cooper announced after a few seconds of silence. His behavior over the last meters made you feel unsettled again. He seemed strange. ‘Why was he like that?’ 

“Okay…”, should you with your gut feeling, you wondered? Fuck it, it was just a guess, a wild guess. You always knew your big mouth would get you into trouble someday. Maybe he was just a normal dad and you were overthinking the situation. If that was the case, he wouldn’t think anything of it.

“By the way B-...Cooper” you began, and Cooper turned around in a second, looking at you expectantly, one of his brows raised. His face was unreadable. “You're welcome.. You know that? For getting to drive with Lady Raven"—for  getting out of there without the security controls - was what you wanted to say. Even if he were the Butcher his facial expressions and body language didn't betray him. He smiled and stepped back toward you. Every bone in your body wanted to run. ‘Fuck, did this creep you out.’ You felt like you were pushing your luck today 

“Yes.. of course. I am very grateful for that…” Before he could say anymore, Riley pulled down the window. 

“Dad! Let's go home! Y/N needs to go to the hospital! And I want to tell mom all about the concert!” 

“She's right. I don't want to keep you from your father any longer. I bet your sister is waiting for you. Better go inside.” ‘He knew, he knew you lied when you fucked up with the sister and brother thing.’ Panic started to set in, you swallowed hard, your throat dry.

He came even closer and engulfed you in a tight hug. You stood there, frozen in place. He leaned his head down to your ear, his hands holding you even tighter. One of them slowly wandered to your lower back while he talked.

“Thank you, sweetheart. You sure made it easier. I’m sure Spencer will be soo grateful. I’ll let you know…” a dark chuckle escaped him.

“It's a small world. I'm sure we will see each other again.” His deep voice whispered in your ear, which sent shivers down your spine. You felt trapped. Like a tiny mouse next to him, holding your breath unintentionally. He patted you on the back. Smiling, he stepped away. 

‘Breathe– mask your emotions. Get a grip.’ Many different thoughts running through your head.

Tilting your head to your side you looked at him. Moreover you were confused. Even a tiny bit scared.

‘Please don’t let him notice. Who was Spencer? Did you know Spencer?’

Furrowing your brows you asked “Spencer?” your voice slightly quivering.

He grinned even more— it looked unnerving. It was replaced by a much friendlier smile after another second. “Don’t worry about it.” 

‘Were you imagining things? Now you knew why people said “don't play with fire.” Why had you said anything at all...’

His voice became louder, having that charming undertone again “and make sure to call sweetheart. Riley would be very happy if you came over.” Winking at you he turned around and walked back to his car. 

You felt like your chest was about to explode.

“Yes! Once your dad's out of the hospital and things settle down, Make sure to call my dad. Then we can have a fun dinner.” giggling Riley's voice went even higher. She was practically shifting in her seat, unable to sit still. 

‘Fun dinner? Yeah.. sureeee kid..’

You mustered your best smile and gave her a thumbs up. 

“I will kiddo. See you around.” trying to steady your voice. You needed to get away fast. turned around and walked towards the hospital, near the end you were almost running. 

Once inside, you had the feeling that it was getting harder and harder to breathe. As if you weren't getting enough air. Your breathing became more and more rapid. Your vision was blurred. 

‘Was this hyperventilation? What was going on? Was he really the Butcher? Were you right? Would you die next? Maybe he would keep you alive because you unintentionally helped him?’

Anxiety welled up inside you. You barely noticed the loud voices around you. 

‘Did you hear someone calling for help?’

You had the feeling that the world was spinning around you. ‘Were you still walking?’ It felt like your legs were made out of jelly.

Someone was talking to you, holding you by the shoulders. Shaking you. Waving something in front of your face. However, you couldn’t make out the words. You couldn't recognise the face in front of you. Everything sounded dull, like it was far far away. The world became increasingly blurred before your eyes, spinning more and more– 

until you finally gave in and everything went dark. 

[askinkiskarma]

thinking of this

but also thinking of a somewhat hilarious scenario of neteyam faintly remembering jake awkwardly teaching him and lo'ak the many ways humans can pleasure a woman and so neteyam asks if he can put it into practice (oral, f receiving) and eventhough he's a bit awkward at first he gets spurred on by the praises (neteyam 100% has a praise kink) he's getting, so like the overachiever that he is, he pays attention to the reader's advice and teaching but also the smallest signs from her body that he's doing good

and staying true to his golden boy title, he's actually fucking good at it in first try

maybe this scenario dump can be.. the next part of the series? 👀 all up to you bae <3 ily

part II of my inexperienced neteyam series x

part I (x)

..because the gift of reciprocation can not only be learnt, but returned... many times fold. ;)

wc: 1.6k words

warnings: 18+, minors dni (smut, oral - f receiving, fingering), cursing, strong language

It is a very well known fact among the clan, among his family, and among everyone who knew him, that Neteyam was the best at anything he put his mind to. Not because he was necessarily intrinsically good at everything, but because he always gave every challange a good college try. So after your first... lesson, one which blew Neteyam's mind and soul out of his body, that left him panting and whimpering and desperately needing more, he knew he wanted to be the best at this, too. The best. Your best.

This new all-consuming desire brought back memories, of being a little younger and more innocent, and having to sit through his father's sex ed lessons that he dreaded then, but now came to have a certain... appreciation for. He remembers faintly his father telling him how women have something called a clitoris, and how, if properly stimulated, can allow a girl to experiences unsurmoutable waves of pleasure, and that the best way to do it... is by putting your money where your mouth is... or in this case, putting your mouth where the jackpot is.

It was a sunny and calming day as you were basking in the sun rays that were peering in between the branches of the tall trees surrounding you, and you hummed quietly to yourself in muted contentment, Neteyam laying peacefully in your lap. He loved these moments, between friends who weren't quite friends, the undefined mystery of your relationship one he was dying to solve with every little clue that presented itself to him. The clue today was the soft, flowery scent that you emanated, that flooded his nostrils and his entire being, that begged to be smelled and felt, to be tasted and enjoyed like a ripe fruit on a summer's day.

"I want to learn." he blurts out, having to readjust his head a little as you rose from your position on the grass, your upper body now propped on your elbows, a taunting eyebrow raised and a small smirk blossoming on your face.

"Oh, yeah? And what would you like to learn, Neteyam?"

Ever since that first lesson, you struggled a little, keeping your composure around your friend. Somehow, your dynamic didn't really change, which you were thankful for, but you didn't want to push your luck, so you've waited... waited for him to make the first move, waited for him to decide whether your earlier... lapse in judgement was just that, or something more, something worth repeating. But it's been tough, knowing what you knew now, knowing what hid under his loincloth, knowing you could be showing him all the ways that he could fuck you dumb, the way you wanted, the way you needed... the way you craved. It's been particularly hard today, as his head was rested on your lap, the pressure on your groin leaving you a inadvertent flustered, wet mess. So while his words took you by surprise, it was a welcome surprise, one that you would make sure to enjoy every second of.

"You showed me... how good it can feel, how good you can make me feel. I want to learn... how good I can make you feel." he turned around, so his face was now facing your loincloth, and he pressed a small kiss over it, in between your thighs. You felt yourself clench around nothing and it took everything out of you not to moan at the gesture. You were surprised that he knew enough to ask for this, but excited to learn yourself what other secrets... and skills Neteyam was keeping from you.

"Alright. Let's see. Women, we... enjoy the build-up, the moments leading up to an orgasm maybe just as much as the actual act itself. So start slow... take your time, with caresses and gentle touc-... argh, fuck!" the feel of his tongue on your inner thigh tingled and burned, sending shocks through your system at the unfamiliar feeling, at the way he didn't even let you finish before he tried it for himself, before he already did something right. He positioned himself in between your legs, his head dangerously close to the area you most wanted him in, that he most wanted to be in. He was eager, so eager, and you were happy, as you always were that Neteyam was a dutiful student and masterful learner.

"Like this?" his soft caresses up and down your thighs, accompanied by small, peppered kisses on your lower abdomen were enough to make you pant in anticipation, enough to make the words hushed and breathy, enough to make you want to arch your back to give him better access to your body.

"Y-yes. Like that. Take off my tewng, Teyam. I don't think I'll need it anymore."

He did as he was told, skilled hands hooking in the fabric and undoing it until it was just a mess on the ground, like you hoping you would be soon. His breath hitched in his throat at your sight, at your plump, soaked folds, so soft, so new, so enticing... just like a ripened fruit on a warm summer's day. He only had one thought that reigned above all others, an unadulterated desire to taste you, to lap at the juices that smelled like all his best, wildest dreams come true, so that's what he did. And he realised quickly he must be doing something right when you moaned, your head pushed backwards and chest heaving erratically.

You tasted as good as you smelled, and Neteyam knew instantly he would not be able to live without this feeling, the feeling of your sweetness coating his tongue, of seeing your eyes roll in the back of your head, of the power that came with knowing only he got to see you like this, only he got to have his head in between your thighs and hear the sounds you made when he did.

"Imagine you're kissing someone's lips. Imagine you were kissing me, and it was amazing, and it felt intimate, and good, imagine you want to deepen the kiss, you want to make it last. Imagine that, and then do the same. Kiss me like you mean it, Teyam. Kiss me like you love me. Slowly, gently at first, wild and untamed later."

He let out a growl at your words, and how primal the way his body reacted to them was. He was hard now, rock hard, and he started slowly grinding on the ground to relief some of the overbearing pressure he was feeling. Once again, he was obediently attentive to your words, egged on by the filthy, nasty, beautiful sounds coming out of your pretty mouth, that he couldn't wait give the same treatment to, because fuck, he did mean it, and he did love you. And he would show you in any and every way he knew how, in any and every way he would soon learn, in any way you were willing to show him.

To say you were impressed with your friend would be the understatement of the century, as you were struggling to see straight with the way his tongue glided over your folds, the way he kissed and licked and sucked exactly in the way you wanted and needed, like he had a direct influx to your thoughts, to your body, like he knew it instinctively, like he was born to do this, born to know how to fuck you.

"I need you in me, Teyam. Fuck! I need -.. I need your fingers."

"My fingers?"

"Y-yeah, please! Two fingers, please, Teyam!"

This was no longer a lesson for him, you realised faintly, as it was a desperate attempt to give yourself the release that was so close you can practically touch it, see it, taste it. You didn't expect to cum today, or not for a while, as you taught him the convoluted and often contradictory ways of pleasuring a woman, but here you were, a writhing mess, grinding on his face, begging for more, to be filled by something else than the cock you dreamt about, that you knew you would get drunk on, that you were saving for a different lesson.

The stretch of his long, slender fingers was delicious and oh, so needed, and you squirmed under him at the added stimulation. You were close, and he could tell.

"You can slowly pump your fingers in and out of me... just like that, fuck!"

"Do I make you feel good, tìyawn?" you couldn't tell anymore if he was genuinely asking as a curiosity or because he knew that it would drive you crazy, but right now, you didn't care.

"Do I make you feel as good as you make me feel? Fuck, thinking of your pretty mouth around my cock, how well you felt as you sucked me dry, I just want to make you feel the same way."

"Y-yes, yes, shit! It feels so good, Teyam!"

Your hand found his hair that you entangled with your fingers, pushing his face down until it made contact with your clit, and he smirked as he circled it and sucked on it, continuing to move in and out of you and when, whether out of pure luck or inherent knowledge, he curled his fingers in exactly the right spot, you came, a loud, violent crash of current washing over you, electrifying your every nerve, rippling through your whole body, leaving you a limp, deeply satisfied mess on the ground, just like you wanted to be, like you hoped you would one day be.

"I'm definitely doing that again." he says with a smile, your slick covering his mouth, nose and chin, and you laughed, the insanity of the situation not lost on you, even in your state.

As you were laying on his chest, peering up at the sun once more, you realise you both learned something today. Neteyam learned how to give you head, and you learned that some things can't be taught, and that he really was indeed, good at everything.

taglist: @fanboyluvr @theycallmesia

[neccturtle]

TL;DR I’m not gonna hide online.

I don’t care.

this is mostly a vent to be honest, it’s kinda long lmao

sorry

tw for vague mentions of mental health issues. I don’t go too into it tho.

I spent so much time hating myself for being trans, so much time thinking there must be something wrong with me.

with my mental health being broken because of my own insecurities and fears. (which, again, I’m not gonna go too into)

I finally came out this year and received love from my family, and a few months later my country told me “no,”

“you are a defect, you are broken, you should hate yourself. because there’s something wrong with you”

and I don’t give a damn anymore.

I will still be myself. and I hope I can at least inspire one person to feel better.

I know I’m not much, I’m not gonna start a movement or change the world.

I’m just a young trans girl who naively thought she’d live a normal life.

but although a small one, I’ll use my voice. even if it’s just to scream. I’ll start making more content then I ever have, I’ll bury myself in it. It’s the one thing I can actually change, the one thing I can control. since there’s no solution to this nightmare but waiting for me, I’ll post my art, I’ll be queer, puerto rican, and proud of it.

I will not hide anymore.

I’m tired of hiding.

I love you all. please send me asks and stuff, Interacting with people like me helps me feel less alone lmao.

and before I start spiraling again I’ll just try to stay strong. for me, for my family, for people like us, and for my dog.

I’ll try to focus on the things that make me happy, on my art, my OCs, my little youtube channel, my growing style and odd sense of fashion, music, my love of food, the most adorable floppy ears and wagging tail in the world, the best mother I could dream for, and hope that maybe someday.

things will get better. ect. ect.

I’m not giving up, probably out of spite.

but I’m still a bit lost.

very disappointed in my country (like usual) but not really surprised.

I’m scared, but I’ll do the most radical extremist thing I can…

and live.

try to anyways.

I know this is a very big tonal shift from my usual content (which, on tumblr specifically isn’t much since I’m new here), as I’m usually way more bright and bubbly,

but I can’t really be that person right now, I can’t pretend everything’s ok. or that I’m fully ok.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what to think.

I don’t know what to say.

emotionally I’m a mess right now.

I’ll take some time to process all of this (and post some drafts in the meantime)

but I just wanna wish everyone good luck, and hope we can make it out of this.

I’m not strong enough for this, but I’ll keep going for all of us, and because I wanna outlive that big fascist orange.

but for now I’ll just take time to think.

and brace myself for what comes next.

and probably start learning a new language.

love y’all, see y’all later, good night,

and good luck to us all 🩵🩵

P.S. my Mom made me go back and capitalize all the “i”s lmao

[rapha-reads]

The Church on Ruby Road [spoilers]

First of all: Fifteen is AMAZIIIIIING. I swear I'm going to try and be normal about him, but his energy! His joy! His connection to his feelings, the emotional depth! That moment when he says "I've adopted, I've just discovered that recently", and then his tears when he realises what happened to Ruby, and then how soft and gentle he was with baby Ruby.

I keep remembering Bill's words about Twelve: "With some people you can smell the wind in their clothes." - and that's exactly it with Fifteen. You can feel not only the age, the experience, the heartbreak and trials the Doctor has gone through, but also, and maybe more importantly, the healing, the love, the joy, the endless curiosity about the universe, the limitless desire to always learn and discover new things. Fifteen is the sum of all the previous Doctors, and he's carrying that weight, but he's also something new, something exciting. The trauma is still there, but he's not letting it weigh him down anymore. Even when he has a moment of doubt, when he says "Maybe I'M the bad luck", a previous regeneration would have left - he stayed and let Ruby make her choice. There's growth there.

We definitely are in a new era of Doctor Who. New New Who? New Who 2.0? Modern Who? Do we have a name yet or is still being debated?

Anyway, secondly. Ruby! Aw, she sounds so cool and kind! The mystery around her birth mother is thrilling without taking the precedent over anything else. Either her birth parents aren't that important, though it's Doctor Who - there's always something else, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's a Time Lord kid, or even the Doctor's child themself - or maybe Jenny's child, the Doctor's granddaughter? I'm just wildly theorizing at this point, never mind all of that.

What's interesting is her relationship with her adoptive mother. That scene where Ruby disappears and her mother forgets about her, and the colours themselves literally bleed out, and the joyful, kind, generous woman we've come to know suddenly turns bitter and sad and cold... Man, that scene messed me up. Makes you think about coincidences, about how and when you meet people and you can never know how important they are in your life, because sometimes the influence they have on you are so subtle, so diffuse, it's impossible to see it. Not the first time this happens in Doctor Who, though, time travel does have that impact. Butterflies and all that. But the impact is always the same heart-wrenching feeling.

Third, the language of rope! By which I mean, I was talking with my brother (huge Whovian like me), and he was telling me that he's a bit worried about RTD's decision to go towards fantasy stories. Well, magic is just another language, after all, isn't it? It's just science that we haven't been able to decipher yet. So, fantasy and science-fiction? They go hand in hand, actually. If the TARDIS is a wooden box that's bigger on the inside and can travel through time and space, then sure, why not, goblins exist, they eat baby, they can also move around time, and their science is the science of ropes and wood. Totally plausible in this world. Wouldn't be weirder than that time Ten met Satan in a pit, or Eleven had an ongoing feud with evil snowmen, or Twelve rode on Santa's sleigh, or Thirteen talked to a frog from another universe. That's cool. Love it.

Right. Well. I'm excited for this new series. It's shiny and fresh, it's something else! Moving forward without forgetting the past. And apparently we're going to meet the Beatles? I love historic episodes! And go to some new planets, meet some new aliens, deal once again with holes in the fabric of the universe (not new, but maybe done in a new way?)... This is going to be great. Next episode in Spring, though? At least it's not another full year of wait.

[noodlefluid]

Hello! i've seen your rottmnt boys x reader that speaks spanish fanfic, and i really loved it! So, since my brazilian ass can't chill up, i'd like to make a request, can you please make an rottmnt turtles x reader that is brazilian? and like, always curses in portuguese and makes some Brazil tipcal food? (like brigadeiro, pastel, etc) Sorry if there is some gramatical error, my english sucks as hell, btw, hugs from Brazil! ❤✨

The tultol bois with a brazilian s/o

▪︎Sumary

you're brazilian...that's it

❥Type: Headcanon

 ❥Characters: Raph Leo Donnie Mikey Reader

 ❥Reader's pronouns: no mention

 ❥Relationship: romantic/dating

 ❥Autor notes: Hey! sorry for the wait. First, I make the spanish one cause I'm hispanic and of course I know the culture and language and all, so I don't feel really confident about this one, but I wanted to make it anyways (for the fans/hj), and on top of that, my country is the only one in south america that doesn't touch brazil (fun little fact) so it is a little shorter, hope you like it eitherway, it was really fun learn more stuff, I kinda wanna cook some food, it looks pretty yummy

Warning: swearing, fluff

Raphael

Loves your accent

He doesn't really understand what you're saying half of the time, would nod at everrything you're saying cause he's to afraid to ask

It is said that the tummy is the way to the heart, this boy ADORE your cousine, he gain a few extra pounds since he started dating you, his favorites dishes are pastel and feijoada

Try to learn portuguese, not very good at it

He trough "cabra/cabrao" was goat for an embarassing long time

Of course gives you he gave you a blow after he learned what it was

He try to stop you from swearing, but it was just impossible, and just accepted as part of you

Leonardo

My boy doesn't know the difference between portugal and brazil

"wait...so the language is called portuguse...not brazilian? ...u sure, love?"

Learn portuguese, he learn pretty fsst, since spanish and portuguese are kinda similar

The first thing he ask to you was to tell him all the bad words possible, he has unlimited power now

Likes to watch you cook, and of course, he gets to taste the food before his brothers do.

His favorite dish is probably empadão

he calls you colacao cause it sounds like coração (portuguese for heart), he have good intentions I swear (I have no idea if colacao exist in usa)

Donatello

He loves to hear you speak in portuguese even when he doesn't understand you most of the time

Hiperfixating over everything brazilian culture related, he wants to know more about where you came from

Of course he has to learn samba

One time he started dancing capoeira in the middle of a fight...no one noticed :(

He isn't really a fan of try new dishes, but he ocassionally would try some of your dishes, doesn't have any favorite

Learn portuguese as a surprise for you, he have a few problems with pronunciation, but it's pretty good besides that

Found it hilarious when you swear, those were the first word he learn since you use them so often

Michelangelo

Loves to cook with you, he really like to try new foods

Doesn't have a favorite dish, he just love everything you cook

Copy everithing you say, so he curses a lot with you, he doesn't know what he's saying, but he's being a supportive boyfriend

Once Raph learn you're making mikey swear...oh boy, good luck my friend

He praise your food as if it was made from god itself, he needs a few minute before eating, cause he gets all excited taking photos, complimenting you and showing it to his brothers

He loves being call "Meu anjo", he would make happy noises everytime you call him that, use it wisely

[leo-valdez-is-my-bae]

Language

Nico x fem!reader

[i used google translate so don't come at me if it's incorrect]

Y/n sat at the dining pavilion, waiting for her best friend, Leo.

Eventually, he comes up to the table, dragging a boy in black clothes behind him. Though she hadn't officially met the son of Hades yet, she knew it was Nico di Angelo.

"Hey Y/n. Look who I brought. Y/n, this is Nico, Nico, Y/n." Leo says and sits across the table from Y/n while Nico remains standing.

The others who had already met him described him as intimidating, but Y/n didn't see it.

Leo had made it his mission to find Y/n a boyfriend.

"En serio, Leo, deja de intentar jugar al casamentero para mí." Y/n says to Leo. She had been gifted with the ability to learn a new language just by listening to someone else speak it. Being a child of Hermes and all. So she often spoke to him in Spanish. (Seriously Leo, stop trying to play matchmaker for me. And you said Nico terrifies you but he's not even scary.)

He smiles and looks down at his plate. Food appears on it and he starts to eat. Not answering Y/n.

"¿No te asusto?" Nico says in Spanish. (I don't scare you?)

You drop your fork in shock.

"Putain, tu parles espagnol." Y/n mutters in French. (Fuck, you speak Spanish.)

Nico smiles. "Je parle français aussi." (I speak French too.)

"Ich wette, du sprichist kein Deutsch." Y/n says with confidence. (I bet you don't speak German.)

Nico's smile gets smug.

"Wie veil möchten Sie wetten?" Nico asks, making Leo laugh. (How much do you want to bet?)

Y/n grunts.

"Che ni dici dell'italiano? Non puoi parlare anche I'Italiano." Y/n says in Italian, her last language. Luckily, she hasn't met many people that speak Italian so she has hope. (How about Italian? You can't possibly speak Italian too.)

Nico laughs. "Sono italiano. Hai qualcos'altro?" (I am Italian. Got anything else?)

Y/n slumps in defeat. "Sicut fundamentals Latinae et Graecae. Sed puto te etiam ista loqui." She says in Latin, which most demigods spoke. (Just the basic Latin and Greek. But I imagine you speak those too.)

Nico replies in Greek. "Loipón, that eíches díkio. Miláo kai ta dýo." (Well, you'd be correct. I speak both.)

Y/n moans in frustration. She won't be able to speak without anyone knowing what she's saying when Nico's around.

"Well, I'll see you guys. I'm gonna go. Good luck with the matchmaking!" Nico says in English and leaves.

Y/n glares daggers at Leo, who's smiling at her. "You knew what you were doing."

"You made him laugh! He doesn't laugh. Ever." Leo said, ignoring her.

"You knew he could understand what I said!"

"AND MY PLAN WORKED!" Leo celebrates.

[lynnbanks]

Quinn meets ivy

Little backstory

Luke and Ivy met when he was 14 and she was 13

Ivy had graduated school at the age of 12; she had been accepted into a lot of different schools but her mother didn't want to send her halfway across America at that age so Michigan was the compromise not that she had a choice at 12; you can beat an hour flight plus there was a professor there that she had already know most of her life and her mom was happy enough with that.

While she was there she majored in cognitive science her love for learning had always been very strong she read any and every book on any topic in the world, learned languages, and studied cultures and different instruments going to college had opened up a whole new world and she was beyond excited to get out of her town and home life and start a new one

And that she had. She had only been in Michigan three months before she ran into her first hiccup. The professor who had agreed to be her means of transportation till she could drive on her own or find other ways of getting around that wasn’t her bike had to stay late for some meetings with all the educators.

And that is how she found herself sitting inside of the rink where the Michigan wolverines practiced trying to escape the heat of the late August day it hadn’t been the weather more so the sun and the dizziness that always seemed to follow her that had urged her to find a place to wait out the rest of the meeting.

Not 15 minutes later she looked up to see a boy who was covered in sweat and looked in need of a good night's rest and a bottle of anxiety meds; came up to ask if she was okay and still a little Caught up in the dark under eyes on the boy in front of her she hadn’t realized how bad she was shaking. “I’m- yes sorry I am just waiting for my ride” he still had a look of concern “Aren’t you a little young to be here by yourself?” Oh right yes, she was still just a kid; she forgot that sometimes “Um maybe but I am smart enough to be a freshman in college at the age of 13 but not drive a car so I am a little out of luck in that department.” She laughed at herself and the boy in front of her smiled “Right I heard we had a little genius walk around campus it’s nice to meet you I’m Quinn” he said reaching out to give her a fist bump. A little weird but then again he was just a boy and that had intrigued her. She wanted to get to know this guy's brain “ I'm y/n nice to meet you” she said reaching her fist out to return the fist bump.

“ Well I'm about to head home I don't mind giving you a ride,” he said lt with a small smile, and being the Genesis she accepted a ride from a stranger “That would be great I appreciate it”

On the car ride to the small apartment, her mom had set up for her Quinn asked how she liked school and Michigan “I am enjoying my classes, as for Michigan I haven't done anything other than go to class and study at the library maybe when my siblings come to visit we will do some sightseeing. I don't get out much on my own.” Quinn didn't seem to like that answer “Well we should change that my family and I were going to go bowling tonight you should come; they are closer in age than we are you guys will get along great. If you want of course.” he says to look away for the road to read my reaction.

“That is very sweet of you but I wouldn't want to intrude on your family night” and be for I could say any more he cut in and said, “You won't my mom would probably like to not be the only girl for once. I have been away from home like you have and I know that it is nice to have something outside of work or school; I don't want to pressure you or anything but I think you will have fun.” I shake off the stinging in my eyes at the sweet gesture since moving here I have never been this lonely I thought I hid it well but apparently Quinn saw right through that.

“If it isn't an imposition that sounds like fun thank you for being so kind to me.” Quinn smiled and said, “Great it will be a lot of fun!

Not proofread I am having a lot more fun writing than I thought. Let me know what y'all think

[beardedmrbean]

Wait

The Native Americans are fighting against the wokies?

It not surprising because how problematic they see things as. Fuck the recent Predator movie Prey did more to preserve the Comanche language it’s was also fully dub into it

But seriously I seen it in black media, notice how 95% of black media only focus on blm stuff or how many black historical figures are often erased by white wokies? Like black peopke can’t thrive in capitalism…please ignore that restaurant owner that inspire the Disney Princess Tiana

But back to the natives, yeah they would attack you guys. The left can barely understand Japanese POP CULTURE much as native historical stuff.

Good luck natives…tbh I think I know more about the Iroquois playing via playing a fictional historical game more than what leftist learn about native Americans in college.

But seriously I seen it in black media, notice how 95% of black media only focus on blm stuff or how many black historical figures are often erased by white wokies? Like black peopke can’t thrive in capitalism…please ignore that restaurant owner that inspire the Disney Princess Tiana

Admittedly it got shit on pretty hard in the Tulsa Race Riots, but "black wall street" was a thing and there were many thriving former slaves and children of former slaves at that point. Would have been nice if they'd managed to rebuild I will admit the cards were not just stacked against them, there was bulldozers pushing those cards too, few still managed.

Would have been nice if they could have been more able to defend themselves properly, trying to find NRA activity for southern Black folks post reconstruction/Jim crow era not much popping up other than.

Begin Tangent

This guy who just popped on to my radar.

Born in North Carolina in 1925, Williams’ experience mirrors that of many African-Americans of his generation. He moved to Detroit as part of the Second Great Migration, where he was privy to race rioting over jobs. He served in the then-segregated United States Marine Corps for a year and a half after being drafted in 1944. Upon returning to his North Carolina hometown, Williams found a moribund chapter of the NAACP. With only six members and little opposition, he used his USMC training to commandeer the local branch and turn it in a decidedly more military direction. The local chapter soon had over 200 members under Williams’ leadership. If nothing else, his leadership was effective at building the movement from the ground up.

An early incident is particularly instructive in how effective these new tactics were. The KKK was very active in Monroe, with an estimated 7,500 members in a town of 12,000. After hearing rumors that the Klan intended to attack NAACP chapter Vice President Dr. Albert Perry’s house, Williams and members of the Black Armed Guard surrounded the doctor’s house with sandbags and showed up with rifles. Klansman fired on the house from a moving vehicle and the Guard returned fire. Soon after, the Klan required a special permit from the city’s police chief to meet. One incident of self-defense did more to move the goalposts than all previous legislative pressure had.

Monroe’s Black Armed Guard wasn’t a subsidiary of the Communist Party, nor an independent organization like the Black Panther Party that would use similar tactics of arming their members later. In fact, “Black Armed Guard” was nothing more than a fancy name for an officially chartered National Rifle Association chapter.

He got a bit more militant later on, I will blame a good deal of that on the fbi doing what the fbi did to black people that stood up for other black people. Not gonna call him a hero just yet because I haven't looked far enough into him to have a full picture, but this stuff is pretty damn heroic. Remember gun control has frequently been used as a tool to keep minorities in check, and will continue to be used as so until more people put their foot down.

End tangent __________________

Ya we went over this before with Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben among others, removing minority representation in order to not offend white leftists who will just find something else to be offended about anyhow so just please ignore them and ask the people you're supposedly doing it for, I will say I'm glad that the "latinx" debate is over, only took most of Latin America and the royal Spanish society both saying it's stupid and insulting to get it killed.

Also don't try to turn it around on white people because

_____________________

We eat this shit up, fighting whites one went on sale, sold out really fast and the money went to a scholarship program for indigenous students I think, it's in the link and they should make them again if you ask me.

[ae-neon]

Hello! I've seen your posts about acotar and while I don't agree with some of them I'm really impressed by how articulate you are.

Just wanted to know if you have any tips to give to someone who wants to write and has many ideas but doesn't know how to pen it down? Like idk where and how to start and also, since English is not my first language I get scared of even trying idk what to call this lol. It's just that I'll build up entire storylines and characters but for some reason writing it down feels impossible. Any idea how to deal with that? sometimes i feel like I might never be able to write and that's depressing bcz there are too many stories in my head rn and I wish I could do just something with them.

Hello!!

First of all thank you so much, I think my writing is very rambling and I sometimes have a very hard time expressing myself so this type of praise always shocks me

As someone who also has a bunch of ideas, storylines and characters but struggles with transforming that into writing, I wish I knew an easy solution but I don't, the truth is it's a struggle

What helped me the most was talking with readers and writers I met here, having them read my work and getting honest feedback. It can be scary reaching out and I am still not good at it, but I have made some friends and found people I really look up to. I really appreciate the people who reached out or replied to my messages

I also tend to review my work with a text-to-speech reader so that I can hear what it actually sounds like out loud

My writing is very inconsistent because I struggle with diagnosed but unmedicated ADD, anxiety and depression so the desire and intent to write often creates mental obstacles or is met with extreme self criticism - therefore I tend to be more sporadic and wait for manic bouts of energy to push out as much as I can

For consistency I'd say to tackle smaller projects that can eventually add to a bigger one. I try and add to my rewrite in this way because fleshing out scenes or worldbuilding is easier than a "whole series revamp" which feels impossible

Also try to declutter your mind, some ideas could come together in one story, some characters are so alike they don't need to be different ppl ect. One app I use for notes is Obsidian, it's free and you can look up a tutorial on YouTube

As for English, it's a well known thing that some of the best writing comes from secondary or non-native speakers. Even so it's only natural to be unsure but you're doing amazing and you can always just ask for help. Reading more will always help too, though I'd suggest reading from authors who are known for their prose. Even if it's not a style you want to emulate, it probably helps familiarise you with new words or ways to use them

I can't think of any other tips. Basically it's just to not think about it too much and just write, some of it will be good, some it will be okay and some of it will be not the best but that's okay, we learn as we go

Hope this helps! Good luck 💚

[missbabyjay]

New Beginnings - Bill Hader x f Reader

Part 1

Warnings: language! just some fluff, I'd also like to point out that Bill was never married in this dimension lmao. I'm hoping to make this a very detailed multi part fan fic. There isn't too much in this first part... i just wanted to lay out some background details for the remainder of the story! I am feeling really nervous to post this but hey! why not!

Word Count: 2.1 k

You are new to the SNL writing team and you quickly learn that it is impossible to not fall for Bill Hader at a rapid speed.

Part 2

MASTERLIST

. . .

The rain gently trickled against your window as you laid in bed, desperately trying to draw out your time soaking in the comfort of your pillows before you began your first lengthy day at SNL.

Wow. I'm really doing this.

You were nervous, and you had to admit to yourself the affect your feelings had on the motivation you so badly lacked for the day. You let out a groan, and half-heartedly threw yourself out of bed and proceeded to make your way to your washroom.

You should be excited for this.

The thoughts were rushing through your head at a pace you felt were uncontrollable, yet you continued with your morning routine. As the cold water washed over your face you felt a sense of transparency, and for the first time in the past week you felt as though this first day might not be as bad as you anticipated.

. . .

Growing up in a small town made the move to New York much more difficult. You always had an interest in writing and hoped one day you would be able to make a career out of it. Sure, you did stand up, but it wouldn't be able to pay your bills forever. You hopped between serving and bartending as it was a good way for you to make money through tips. Your family undermined your skills and that was just more of a reason for you to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and prove them wrong.

Thankfully you had spent a large chunk of time working in stand up comedy. You had travelled to many places throughout the country and wrote for not only yourself, but a handful of other amateur comedians. You lucked out while working a gig at a comedy club in New York City with a couple of your stand up buddies; John Mulaney just so happened to be at the show with the intentions of possibly scouting out a new writer for this season of SNL, as they were expecting one of the current writers to be leaving only a few months into the season.

As you finished your gig, you felt happiness wash over you. You knew that was your best gig yet. The audience had an energy unlike any other audience you had performed for.

You quickly headed to the bar afterwards, wanting to have a celebratory drink. As you stood waiting at the bar you heard your name being called from behind you, "Y/N Y/L/N?". You turned around, confused, because people didn't typically approach you after your gigs. You were still an amateur after all, and who would want to take photos with someone like yourself? But too much surprise you were face to face with one of your biggest inspirations; John Fucking Mulaney.

You felt your stomach turn while you were frozen with shock, "Y/N, right?" he spoke again with a cheeky smile, clearly recognizing your feelings of anxiousness. "Sorry, yes! That's my name! Don't wear it out!" you mentally face-palmed yourself after the words left your mouth with instant regret. But John just laughed, he was the last to judge someone with a quirky sense of humour as he was just the same.

After chatting for some time, John invited you to audition for a writing position at SNL. He enjoyed your sense of humour and thought you would be a great fit in the team, especially as he saw potential for the two of you to write together.

You could say your audition went well, as not only a week later you were contacted with the wonderful news that you were accepted on to the team. You felt so proud of yourself, knowing this is an accomplishment that many people don't get the pleasure of experiencing.

. . .

And that is how you ended up where you were on this dreary New York Monday morning.

Your apartment was small, but enough for you. As you finished getting yourself ready you quickly made a coffee, although the caffeine would most likely make you even more nervous than you already were to begin with.

I've got this. John Mulaney liked me. I wouldn't have passed the audition if they didn't like me. Snap out of this.

You were within walking distance to 30 Rock, so you began your walk embracing the cool colourless weather along the way. It's almost like nature was curing your anxious nerves. As you breathed in the cool air you felt your heart rate slow, and your mind wander to exciting thoughts, rather than nervous thoughts.

Will the members like me? I can't wait to meet some of my favourite comedians... Maybe my sketch will make it this week...

You approached 30 Rock and made your way up to the studio, not sure where to go or who to talk to. As the elevator doors opened you were met with chaos. The floor was filled with people. You assumed majority of these people were the ones working behind the scenes as you were only met with a few familiar faces. Suddenly, your eyes locked with a tall blue eyed man. Your heart rate quickly raised and goosebumps covered your body

Bill Hader. Holy Shit. He's beautiful.

He quickly rushed over to your surprise, and extended his arm to shake your hand, "My names Bill, I'm going to assume you are Y/N? John was telling me you'd be joining the team!". You quickly shook his hand, not wanting him to feel the sweat that had accumulated on your palms since you locked eyes with him. But my God, your knees nearly buckled the second you made contact almost as though you were melting to the ground.

Of course I know who he is. He's Bill Hader. Who doesn't know who he is? Holy shit we just touched.

He flashed you a nervous smile, "Here, follow me. I just saw John a few minutes ago. We'll hunt him down together" he said, followed by a cute little wink.

Just as you thought you had your nerves under control, the world around you felt as though it was spinning. You followed behind Bill through the chaos while he would glance behind him periodically to make sure you were still tagging along.

You arrived at a door that was briefly opened. Bill gently knocked and proceeded to open the door where you were met with John propped up at a desk twiddling a pen between his fingers with a concentrated look washed upon his face; "Y/N! Welcome to your first day!", he said with a big smile while wiggling his eyebrows playfully at you.

. . .

You spent your first day working alongside John, shadowing his work and learning the typical Monday schedule; everyone would settle down at a table, including the host, and sketch ideas would be thrown around. You felt quite nervous to speak up, but you and John had done some chatting beforehand and he assured you that everyone was eager to hear your ideas.

You threw some ideas out, but nothing really stuck, and that took a toll on your spirit for the week. Lorne wrapped up the jam session, and you met Bill's eyes as you looked up from your papers, you flashed him a small smile. It was almost as if he could notice the stress that had consumed you throughout the meeting. As you were grabbing your things and getting ready to meet with John in his office, you felt a hand gently placed on your shoulder; it was Bill.

"Y/N, is everything okay?", he said with great concern. What a sweet soul he has. You sighed, "Yeah, yeah, I just wish I would have been able to get a sketch into the lineup but it's okay, I guess." you said with a soft smile, "You wanna come to John's office with me?".

The two of you began walking towards John's office when Bill wrapped his arm around your shoulders and leaned in, "Seriously, don't let today get you down. You can help John and I write the Stefon sketch for this week. It'll be great". You felt like you were on a cloud. The feeling of his warm breath against your neck; the closeness shared between the two of you in that moment was never something you thought would occur.

Holy Shit. He just put his arm around me. What the fuck is going on right now... Is this really happening?

The two of you entered Johns room and from that moment on you felt a sense of relief. Being around John and Bill just felt right. You felt like a missing puzzle piece that was finally discovered; you felt like you finally found your place in the world.

The three of you chatted for awhile, getting to know each other on a deeper level. John had been working on SNL for three years at this point, and Bill had been there for six years; no wonder these two seemed so content with the regular schedule of SNL, the process was as easy as riding a bike to them. Whereas you felt the process was like a big cloud hanging over you, you were eager for Sunday to arrive already.

You told you life story to the two of them, leaving both of them to be surprised by the experiences you've had in the industry at the ripe age of 25. You felt so young and naive compared to them though. But their lack of judgement on you made you feel even more comfortable to open up to them.

. . .

The three of you finished your conversation and you said your goodbyes. As you walked down the hallway towards the elevators you felt relieved. Today went okay, maybe not exactly how you planned it would go, but it was okay. Not only did it end on a good note but you couldn't believe the instant connection you made with Bill. You tried to not be consumed in your thoughts; keeping a sense of clarity. You couldn't deny the way Bill made you feel, but it was only your first day and you needed to slow your eager thoughts down.

As you stood waiting for the elevator you heard quick paced steps behind you. You turned around and saw Bill nearly out of breath with his hands placed on his knees. "Woah there buddy, you okay?" you said followed by a few giggles, "I didn't want to miss you before you left, I was wondering if you'd maybe wanna grab a coffee and chat a bit more?" he said with almost a flustered look plastered on his face. "Yeah, sure." you managed to get out while feeling your heart rate rise.

He wants to spend one on one time with me?

Bill lead the way, flagging down a cab where he gave the address of a beloved coffee shop he would swing by before a long day at the studio. Little did you know Bill was excited to take you to one of his special places. He felt the same as you, eager to build your friendship and possibly one day be more than just friends.

The two of you conversed for a few hours. At first you felt tense, was this a date? No, no don't get ahead of yourself Y/N. Bill wanted to know everything about your upbringing. He seemed so interested in you and that made you fall for him even more.

"Do you live near by? I would love to walk you home if you don't mind", he said with a sweet, nervous smile. You felt so enamoured by the moment, "Absolutely, I would love that."

The two of you walked shoulder to shoulder through the busy streets of New York. Moments of silence would occur, but at no point did it feel awkward. It was comfortable silence. You kept catching Bill glancing down at you and you'd meet his face with a soft smile. The evening had been everything and more. And as the two of you approached your apartment complex you felt a sense of sadness. You didn't want the evening to end. You had grown so fond of him over the last few hours, your mind wondered where your relationship could possibly end up. He made you excited to be back in the office tomorrow.

"Well! Here's my stop!" you said followed with a giggle. You turned to face him and your eyes met. The both of you enjoyed it for a few moments before you smiled at Bill, "I'll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early Hader" followed by a cheeky wink. "You betcha, Y/N".

You walked into your complex, shortly arriving at your front door. You entered your living room, placed your book bag down, and plopped yourself on the couch. It was time for you to get some rest before the frantic week that laid before you.

A new beginning, I cannot wait.

[makingspiritualityreal]

The Planetary Life Cycle

Some of the older social customs practiced by our ancestors that we have since forgotten in modern tradition give a much better example of functioning of the planets. Through my education I have had the luck to observe these dynamics enough to understand, and now explain the reflection of the functioning of the planets. Mind you, this description of the Planets differs from the traditional Nakshatra cycle, it’s simply my observation translated from my reflections in my second native language. I give these reflections a semi temporal dimension but truly many of the skills mentioned are learned simultaneously and not only in childhood but throughout life, especially if the given planet is afflicted and its results end up being delayed or distorted.

Coming into this world, we first encounter the sensorium, the Moon. The toddler, the infant, our primal connection and responsiveness to the world, nature and people around us. First playing with colors, toys, fairy tales, images, bedtime stories. That is why the Moon is also such a powerful planet when dealing with the masses, or human psychology because it has the power to tap into the basic instinctual nature of mankind, and generate a collective wave of approval based on these eternal instincts.

The moment we gain basic awareness with the Moon, we move on to Mars. The moment we step off our Mother’s lap, we do it for a reason, we do it because we have a goal, and we need to be ready to defend our basic survival in this world when we encounter opposition on our path. This is not yet the time to interact with society at a larger scale, but more so the primal development of our first responses of self defense and self assertion. This is when the child starts saying “No” and enters into first altercations in the local sandpit. Facing the external world unprotected for the first time is always a battle, and so our children always come back with many cuts and bruises in their formative years. The first dharmic planet of the idea of our sense of identity is a difficult one to handle, a lonely battle, as we have nothing but our own soul to support us in our internal ideas.

Then, as the first shock of our collision with the world away from parental safety passes, our Mercury activates. We pick up our pen and struggle to write over and over again until we succeed. We learn our lessons and memorise our numbers. We try and make mistakes and make progress doing so.

These three planets make up the basics of early years of our lives, as we use them as our toolset. The breakthrough moment for a young person, especially a young woman, traditionally was the moment of “entering into society”. That moment is when through our Venus we activate Rahu. It is the day when our elders and caregivers have decided that after years of trial and error and polishing our skills (Venusian fiery process of shedding crudeness), we have acquired enough refinement to enter the external world in full bloom, not just in our limited circle.

Coincidentally, it was also a signal that a Young New addition to society was eligible for a marriage union, and soon expected to be socially joined within that union, an act also ruled by Venus. Venus trains and waits in shadows and secrecy (Saturn, our elders protecting us) to use its fiery passion to polish its skills, being fully aware that the Gaze of Society, the eyes of people will be there to comment on us and judge us (Rahu) the moment we step out of hiding. Saturn protects us from Rahu by assuring that we’re held back from peoples gaze long enough until we acquire enough objective merit to not be easily swayed by any potential external judgment. It is the difference between being judged based on an unimportant passing fad, or being ridiculed because of actual deficiency of skill, both of which Rahu is capable of. Saturn gives us the power to hide and refine the parts of ourselves that still feel unpolished, protecting our skill, reputation and potential marriage union (Venus).

Where do the other Dharmic planets fit into this equation?

Jupiter is the stage we reach after our Venus and Rahu status is secured. We are officially married, and so we begin to enjoy the growth of our family, our own family happiness, and by becoming parents, we ourselves step into the role of a guardian in turn, creating a whole new cycle for the next generation. While we are not that concerned about our physical skill anymore, since we have long gained certainty in it, we are concerned about extending the goodness and merit of what we have learned in the world, for as long as we are alive and able to nourish it. We protect and we are protected.

Sun is the kingdom we acquire as a result of our teachings. It’s how far our light has spread as the result of accumulation of all our deeds from other planets. It’s how far our soul individuality has spread into our tiny human life.

Ketu comes later in life, as we realize how much effort we spent on refining the physical plane to mimic the beauty of our soul (Rahu). Only then we can truly appreciate and sense the incomprehensible, the vast infinity mixed with scientific perfection of creation, and judge how authentic we have been in our actions and creations so far relative to our Souls flame. Ketu is also our redefined comfort zone, something we may have been clinging to earlier in life, that we now finally manage to access in perfected conditions, after many trials and tribulations. Thus, the transition from habit to authenticity.

Saturn comes at the end as we become elders. We know our time of public glory has passed, and we make space for the new generation, fostering, sheltering and disciplining younger minds with the benefit of our enormous wisdom, letting them shine. We become concerned with our legacy and about what comes after our time on this planet is over, securing our physical attachments one last time, through matters of physical and social inheritance.

In this process, we can see two camps of planets with two distinct attitudes towards the link between body and soul.

The Moon is neutral and adaptable and malleable like a new-born. It doesn’t have an affiliation as it is a blank page and sways with every influence pressed upon it.

Mercury, Venus, Saturn and Rahu are material planets, and thus are all friendly to each other. In their original intent and purest state these planets have a goal of physically manifesting the grandeur of the soul on Earth through material creations, as each of the planets takes a distinct role in this process. Saturn is the ultimate material controller. Venus is the ultimate material teacher. Rahu is the ultimate material enjoyer. Mercury is the ultimate material student.

Sun, Jupiter, Mars and Ketu are spiritual planets, also being friendly to each other. Their goal is to keep our physical selves in check, so that we don’t forget the higher aspect of being, drowning in material creation. They reconnect us with our souls essence, through physical trials if necessary. Ketu is the ultimate spiritual controller. Jupiter is the ultimate spiritual teacher. Sun is the ultimate spiritual enjoyer. Mars is the ultimate spiritual student.

Neither of these groups is better or worse. They both have an integral role, as described in examples above. Without the physical planets, we would neglect our health and hygiene and cultivation of any physical aspects of the body. Without the spiritual planets, we would lose inspiration and forget that flesh is supposed to be soul poured into matter.

[ronearoundblindly]

Time and Tines (Preview)

an excerpt of Steve Rogers x Villain!Reader

Excerpt summary: With Buck's encouragement, Steve asks an interested, beautiful woman to dance. Surprisingly, it goes well. That's not the only surprising part...

A/N: Overall, this challenge is about bittersweet, doomed love, and while the excerpt is from the beginning (and thus more light-hearted), I wanted to sneak this in as a warning: it goes downhill from here. Mentions of needles/poison. WC 1098

“Oh, no. That’s not necessary. I’m a miserable dancer.” You lift your bejeweled clutch up alongside your lemon-lime soda. “Besides how would I carry it all?”

“Well, if they’d make dresses with fuller skirts like they used to, you wouldn’t have that problem. The world regressed that way. Real shame.”

“Don’t like the form-fitting gowns?” you cock your head with wide eyes.

Steve’s gaze snaps to his shoes, hoping to choke off the heat rising in his cheeks. It only chokes his words. “Oh, oh god, no. They’re lovely. I meant, ya know, pockets and…I just—I didn’t want anything to stop you.“

“Me neither.”

You take him in with a warm assessment and a quick evaluation of the room, tucking your lip between your teeth briefly. “You’re in luck,” you add with a laugh. “I’m about to blow your mind, Captain.”

He watches you open the clasp, fish around inside the tiny bag—barely an envelope, really, but Steve learned from Natasha that ladies can hold a scary amount in those things,— and pull out a silvery length like a party trick from the minuscule confines. The new strap allows you to toss the purse over your shoulder.

You present the transformation like it’s a superpower.

“Nifty,” Steve coos.

You nod an acceptance of his awe. “I am nothing if not prepared.”

“And now—“ he offers his hand again “—out of excuses. Bucky tells me I am ‘a sight to behold’ and not in a good way. Shall we prove him right in solidarity?”

You head to the open floor, guided by Steve’s lead. “Not gonna try to prove him wrong?”

He swings you around to face him. “How would I always win as Cap if I bet like that?”

You hum while Steve settles a hand over the satin at your waist. “Picking your battles, huh?” Free and delicate hands land at his shoulders before one smooths down his sleeve, your eyes never leaving his. “And I’m a fight waiting to happen?”

He gets lost for a few bars until he shows his true colors and winces.

“Well, my toes are fighting with yours, clearly.” 

But you simply laugh.

Steve’s brain turns over the steps and his apologies and then finally lands on a good line way after the fact. “Or, no, wait, I’ve got it now.” He squares his shoulders a little more and deepens his voice, comically.

“You’re worth fighting for.”

The snort huffed in his face is perfect, the grin that splits your painted lips over shining white teeth blinding and well worth his efforts.

“Oh wow. See!” He earns a featherlight slap to the chest. “You do have your charming moments, Captain Rogers.”

“Steve, please—“ he fakes leading you off the floor “—and could we go repeat that in front of—“

“—the extremely grumpy man gripping a beer bottle?” Your sights land across the room toward the bar. “I don’t know, Steve. Your critic looks pretty…something.”

Steve frowns when he sees Bucky. As his friend speaks with Dr. Avani, Bucky’s face pinches solid as stone, overly serious beside the doctor’s casual body language. Buck indeed looks pissed for no reason. 

Steve squints in apology. “He’s not—that’s just—I promise he’s not like that—“

Where was that teasing joy from a minute ago?

Steve contemplates that still when your hands release him, and his focus snaps back.

“I need to use the ladies’ room anyway,” you shrug, rubbing a palm up and down your bare arm.

“And then fireworks?” Steve inserts hopefully, almost removing his suit jacket right then to drape over your shoulders. He sounds like an excited schoolboy, and he’s again glad that Bucky is far enough away not to know how obvious he’s being.

You smile, a graceful tug at the dark, matte lipstick sculpted over your full—Rogers. Then a little nod is all you offer before turning to the hall, bag bouncing at your hip on its magic chain.

Steve watches you go, meandering over to Bucky while his head still glances in your last known direction until his friend grunts to get his attention.

Avani is gone, but Buck’s face remains sour.

“What on earth did Doc say? Some intel for a mission.” Steve’s only half-curious and fully-distracted though.

His friend just waves off the mood. “Where’s your girl?”

“She’s not…” Steve shakes his head.

“Fine. Where’s your girl for the night?” Bucky raises one eyebrow.

“You know that sounds even worse now than it did back then, right?”

“Well?” Bucky looks around inquisitively.

“Powder her nose—” Steve smirks with rosy cheeks “—then watching the light show.”

He gets a solid smack between his shoulders and a proud nod.

Steve tries to remain patient, he really does, but after a few minutes and nearly every guest settled into their own viewing spot across the long balcony, he checks back over his shoulder.

Nothing.

He excuses himself from Bucky’s side and wanders toward the hallway.

Yes, he knows he’ll look too interested and a bit stalker-esque, but he doesn’t want to miss the show—he doesn’t want you to miss the show with him. There’s gonna be this beautiful display in the sky and you’ll be engrossed enough that he can just look at the changing colors glow across your…

What?!

Around one corner of the wall, Steve sees a foot, one shiny, brown men’s dress shoe, and then another. Someone’s kneeling—shaking if the tremor of rolling toes is any indication—and then there you are standing over him.

“Doctor Avani?” Steve croaks, watching you raise a syringe and needle high over the man’s head.

You ignore Steve’s arrival.

The doctor’s eyes don’t break from you as he shrieks, “Captain, she’s mad. She—“

“How dare you? Bastard,” you bite out, heaving your weapon at the doctor’s exposed throat as Steve lunges forward.

It punctures the thick, luxurious navy fabric of Steve’s suit, and he feels the slight swelling pressure of liquid entering his forearm.

You release your grip, eyes wild and teeth bared. Gone is the sweet and serene woman he shared a drink and danced with.

The syringe stays lodged in Steve’s flesh as he pushes the doctor aside to shield him, but it’s too late for you.

Bucky followed behind him and now wraps your arms behind your back while you struggle to inch toward Avani, spitting insults.

“What was it?” Bucky demands. “What’s in there? What poison?”

Steve rips the needle out, checking it for any clues.

With a scowl, your fierce gaze stays on the doctor.

“Ask him. It’s his brand of suffering.”

\o/ Predictions? Squees? Let me hear 'em, gang! It's always a delight reading your thoughts.

[Main Masterlist]