#do i have impulse control

[moldycrustyvoldy]

Lesson 3?: How to Use AO3, For an Idiot.

Today’s Lesson: WELL THE TITLE IS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS IS IT NOT?

Today’s lesson may be kinda short or long depending on how many stupid people I can find in a tik tok comment section. *cough cough* there’s a whole fucking band of them.

This lesson is going to have multiple fucking parts I’ve decided, clearly I don’t expect you to read a 10k word post, so hang tight. Today we’re focusing on something really cool that ao3 has. No I’m not talking about the amazing filtering options that some of you disregard and as a result throw tantrums. Like do you know how much second hand embarrassment I get watching a minor lose it over not being able to use a filtering option? It’s giving dumbass.

Here’s something EVERYONE should pay attention to. I don’t give a fuck if you’re 11 or 21 or 31. All people have boundaries. There are things I like that you don’t like. And that is not always solely dependent on age. Our experiences throughout life depict how we react to certain media. And sometimes there just isn’t a reason to like/dislike something. 

And ao3 gets that, so depending on the type of work you want to read there will be this message,

Since some of you can’t read, let me put this in kindergartener terms, first some definitions...

1. Adult Content- media, such as pornography or violence, that is not generally thought to be appropriate for consuming by children.

2. “You have agreed that you are willing to see such content” - THIS MEANS YOU GAVE YOUR CONSENT

Guess what, there’s some scary shit on ao3. Some stuff even the most desensitized of us won’t even touch. But you don’t see me fucking complaining because it “exists”. When you click “PROCEED”, you are agreeing to see adult content, 18+. So if you’re a minor this work wasn’t even fucking written for you. And even if you do, you are clicking this button and giving your consent. 

It’s really fucking embarrassing how people have had the opportunity to read the tags, look at the rating, like the literal consent button and still get mad that the content isn’t appropriate. Like bitch you chose to get yourself into this why the fuck are you on throwing a temper tantrum. 

Get your things and scream your head off somewhere else, annoying bitch.

So what’s the summary? If you know what you’re getting yourself into and gave consent, shut the fuck up. There’s more to this, but like the DECENT, KIND, THOUGHTFUL, person I am, you all will be tortured tomorrow.

PS: This was short because I almost fucking died today. I had an allergic reaction and “forgot” to bring my meds, literally stranded with my throat closing up for about 2 hours before a doctor walking down the street stopped me and was like “are you breathing okay?”. I did not have a response obviously, so this angel of a man spent an hour with me until me throat decided it wanted to fucking work. Anyway god has let me fuck with this world for another day bitches.

[cruelplatonic]

actually i think it's interesting that practically everyone's interpretation of valentino is that he has severe substance abuse issues & is high 50% of the time, when in the show he's shown disparagingly talking about addicts in a way that implies he doesn't see himself as one. and i'm not using "interesting" as a substitute for "oh boy do i fucking hate this" i just genuinely think it's fascinating. the juxtaposition of him looking down on addicts while refusing to acknowledge his own substance abuse problems is direly under explored and it's like, Right There. it's prime character study material

[bonefall]

the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.

Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."

As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.

If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.

I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."

And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!

Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.

"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.

In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.

In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.

All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.

They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.

(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)

Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.

You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.

[sea-buns]

Zac trying so hard not to metagame Colin's suspicion level of Raphaniel and Brennan trying equally as hard to keep Raphaniel from falling into an unrealistic obsession with Colin is not the rivalry I was expecting but I'm here for it

[egophiliac]

taps head can't get a badly-compressed shadow if you take the shadow out of the gifs

(this is not an edit, I drew him from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)

anyway, I did another little guy to go along with Najma and Che'nya! I...actually made him last year as a livestream project, so some of you might remember him (and that I eventually ragequit because it was 5 AM and the meshes were not cooperating). and, uh, then I forgot to actually go back and finish him, until Tamashina-Mina reminded me! ...sorry Cheka!

[soracities]

if we should protect children because they are vunerable, this means you would protect cruel children who bullies people who different than them then. the children who responsible to trauma for someone else's entire years

You're assuming that "protecting" children is the same as absolving them of responsibility and that's not what I said. All children are vulnerable, because all children are children; they don't come out of the womb with a perfectly working moral compass anymore than they come out of it waiting to hurt people--they're vulnerable because their understanding of the world is entirely at the mercy of what we, as adults, consistently tell them and show them. Children behaving cruelly aren't exempt from that--they learn that cruelty from somewhere, or someone. Your job, as the adult, is to make sure they understand that it's unacceptable so it will not happen again--but your job is also to ask why someone that young is behaving this way to begin with, so you can ensure they become better.

"Protecting" kids is not ignoring when they hurt or torment others, it's not refusing to teach them consequences or right from wrong, it's not "zero tolerance" policies in schools that treat a child being bullied and the child bullying them as equal instigators, and it's certainly not protecting them from recognizing, and atoning for, the pain they have caused someone else. You don't have to make peace with the now-adults who hurt you when you both were kids, but you cannot let the horrors of your own childhood impact how you treat or respond to the children living theirs around you right now, either.

You don't protect kids so they can get a free pass for bullying or tormenting another child. You protect them because kids are impulsive, emotionally reactive, and profoundly social (which means deeply impressionable) human beings who are still learning & processing insane amounts of information every day about what it means to be alive, to be alive as yourself, to be alive as yourself with other people. Protecting them is realising that you can't isolate the responsibility of a 10 year old from the bigger responsibility of the literal grown adults around them, adults who are in charge of teaching them about the world and how to behave in it. Whether you have children of your own in the future or not is completely irrelevant to this; we all become those adults eventually--no matter what happened to us as kids.

[disorderly]

cluster b culture is just don't make this about yourself don't make this about yourself don't mention yourself don't do it I swear to God don't mention yourself don't please God anyways I did the same thing and you didn't even notice what about me how come you never notice me but expect me to always be paying attention to you why don't you—

[beggars-opera]

"Teenagers are dumb" not as a pejorative but as a term of endearment, because I remember that I was once a teenager and I was also so, so dumb

[secreterces-charlie]

Banging my fist on the floor. I hate having to write up fucking motivation letters like girl I’m here for money and you’re here for a work force can we please just be honest why do I gotta be like “I’ve had a crush on your company since I was five���

[okeydokiescribbles]

When you're Bakugou Katsuki, in @ofmermaidstories's surrender (whenever you're ready), and you have to do this dumbass photoshoot with your old class and Round Face (in your 20,000¥ aerodynamic pants), but you don't know Weeds is going to buy this magazine and sit on a train thinking about how your world is by appointment only 😔

[iersei]

Day 1: Trust

with blind faith, i place myself in the palm of your hands

~ Marcy March Prompts

[quietwingsinthesky]

the doctor is emotionally manipulative. he’s very good at it, and even better at justifying it both to himself and the people he’s doing it to. he can see when his approval, his affection, is valuable enough to someone that withholding it will be an effective way of getting them to do what he wants. this is one of his best flaws, that he’ll do this to people and do it to them for his own definition of what’s good for them.

(gestures vaguely) twissy.

[lizasweetling]

Zeetha has really been merged into the arcetype points of Jagers very smoothly!

Also, thinking back there's been substantially more 'Zeetha enjoys a drink' scenes since the timeskip and her partial jager treatment- Fighting Girls Tea and Cake, the thing with the free drinks on the train, various background shenanigans in England....

[dukeofthomas]

Rewatching UTRH is so fun bc this is the only red hood i want. He's cleaning up Gotham. He's killing anyone who gets in his way. He's taking huge cuts off the streets. He's offering protection and delivering.

[ithacanradio]

the most gorgeous man I've ever known sent me a drunk voice message hurt that i left my job at the bar he goes to without telling him and adding that he saw me on tv speaking about palestine, which turned into me telling my ex boss to give him my number, and the sober voice message was much worse because this sweet guy just tells me that he's so proud of me and then i can feel him like talking with a constricted throat saying he understands that i left and closes with "from the river to the sea" and doesn't it just suck that some things have no hope of ever beginning and yet still end somehow

[science-lings]

PLEASE elaborate on the phoenix and franziska shenanigans during the 7yg you have NO idea how much i like them

I am someone who loved the investigative portion of Bridge to the Turnabout where Franziska had to babysit Phoenix when he wasn't allowed to follow Miles and Iris. I think when he's not her rival defense attorney and is looking particularly pathetic, she is actually pretty chill around him. She is not exempt from his aura that gets young women to imprint on him and follow him around.

She is genuinely offended on his behalf when he gets disbarred because he beat Miles and Manfred and even her! why the hell would he cheat in a case against a teenager! She does not think for a second that he forged that diary page because she knows firsthand how he throws himself into things and cannot prepare an entire evil plan for shit. However, she does not know how to convey this to him so she bullies Miles into flying him and Trucy around because Miles is almost too good at being resigned to pine sadly from a distance.

It's also important to know that she sees Phoenix being a caring father to Trucy and as someone who never really had a valid father, decided that maybe (ex) defense attorneys have rights... Even if Miles didn't get his shit together to put a ring on That Man's finger, Franziska would find herself in Phoenix's found family, it's only a matter of time.

For some reason Phoenix doesn't go to court with Edgeworth, maybe he can't stand being there while not being a lawyer, maybe he forgot he wasn't an attorney once and got kicked out for yelling out an objection, it doesn't matter, Trucy gets to be Edgeworths weirdgirl assistant and Phoenix is stuck investigating with Franziska and they are the worst people to keep each other out of trouble. We're talking about 'guy who ran across a burning bridge' and 'woman who got shot in the shoulder and still managed to get to court eventually' they are an unstoppable duo when they find something they can both get behind.

If anyone can slowly get Franziska to loosen up and learn to embrace the childhood that she lost, it would be Phoenix. I mean, this girl passed the bar at like 13 there was no way she had time to binge she-ra and check out books on drawing horses from the library. He would convince her to get a cat who hangs out in a window backpack that she can carry around during her travels because it turns out that her life is kinda lonely and she totally seems like the cat lesbian type. She is also allergic to cats so she has to get a sphinx or a devon rex or just the most gargoyle/ golbin looking creature to walk on this earth. That just seems like her vibe.