#do I know why I wrote this?
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader ââ an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best ââ if you've been wrong the whole time ââ that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack ââ i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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from the start !
so. . what are we ??
youâve been katsukiâs for as long as you can remember.
sure, he had never outwardly called you his girlfriend, but when you were both seven years old, he came up to you. chest heaving slightly from running up and down the hill where he had gotten you a freshly plucked out bouquet of flowers. the roots were still clinging to them and he got dirt all over your hands from forcibly grabbing them and shoving the bouquet in them before you could even form a sentence.
âsince you accepted the flowers, youâre mine now.â he mumbled, his little hands tightened into fists at his sides and chubby cheeks a cute shade of pink, staring at you as confidently as he could.
a grin grows on his face when you respond with a simple âokay !â and a bright smile. the grin on his face never disappears even as his mom scolds him for getting you both all dirty.
you were katsukiâs in middle school too, when the boys in class decided to play kiss, marry, kill and he had somehow gotten dragged into it. the girls in your class tried their best to seem uninterested, claiming the boys were being childish, but you noticed how hard some of them were straining their ears trying to hear what the guys were talking about in their own little corner of the room. youâd be lying if you said you werenât a little curious as well.
katsuki was as ruthless as youâd known him to be, choosing to kill any girl that wasnât to his liking, which ended up being all of them. much to the other boysâ chagrin, claiming he had no taste.
then your name was brought up.
at that, his eyes widened and he turned in his seat to see if you were watching. you had never turned your head away so fast in your life and you were pretty sure you heard something go âcrackâ.
he clicked his tongue. mumbling something about how stupid the game was before muttering out a âkiss yn, marry yn and kill that other bitch.â before getting up and stomping away, claiming he had to go to the bathroom followed closely by the whoops and hollers of his two friends behind him.
you both made eye contact when he walked out and you think youâll never forget how red his cheeks were.
you were katsukiâs when he was the one to walk you to and from school everyday, claiming you would somehow get lost without him. you were katsukiâs when he had begrudgingly shoved homemade valentines day chocolates into your arms, mumbling something about how you had been upset nobody had gotten you anything last year, conveniently leaving out the fact he had scared off all the other guys trying to offer you anything.
you were katsukiâs when he grabbed your hand during the winter because he said youâd âend up dying of hypothermia with the way youâre chittering over there.â and you were his when you were the only person he laughed around. loud, genuine laughter that you and only you could squeeze out of him. you were katsukiâs when he randomly kissed you goodnight at your door one night and heâs been doing it ever since, and gets all pouty when you turn away from his kisses to tease him.
âare we dating ?â you had asked him. youâre both in high school now and youâre in his dorm room. your legs are on his lap and heâs got a comfortable grip on your leg, which tightens after he registers your questions âhah?â he looks utterly confused and a little insulted as he looks back at you, his entire face scrunched up in confusion. you pinch his nose and he swats at your hand.
âare we dating ? likeâam i your girlfriend.â you say again and katsukiâs face scrunches up even harder. he huffs and looks back at his phone, landing a little smack on your leg still placed in his lap. â âcourse yer my fuckinâ girlfriend.â he spits out, obviously irritated. then he looks back at you âI havenât made it obvious ?â he says sarcastically. one of his eyebrows lifted as he pokes at your leg still very much in his lap.
you simply shrug âsânot that. itâs just because youâve never actually asked me out before, so i was a little confused on where we stood.â you mumble. he stares at you while you speak and he stares a little longer before sighing. then he leans towards you and flicks your forehead.
âow !â
âdumbass.â he murmurs. thereâs a slight pout on his face and his cheeks are light shade of pink when he looks you in the eyes again. he grabs both your cheeks with one hand and smushes them together to push your lips out and presses multiple wet kisses onto them that have you squealing and squirming. his wet lips are pulled into a smirk when he pulls back and you try your best to at least look a little angry, you really do. but itâs useless when he looks at you like that.
âof course youâre my girlfriendâ he reiterates. his smirkâs been replaced for something softer, something more sincere as he gazes at you with so much unadulterated affection it makes your head spin a little. âyouâve always been mine.â he says it in a teasing tone and his hand is still smushing your cheeks out and it hurts a little but his eyes are still the same. theyâre warm and soft and so, so enamored with you and only you.
when he finally letâs go of your face and pulls you fully into his lap, you realize katsukiâs been yours for as long as youâve been his.
you smile brightly at him but turn your nose up when he leans in to kiss you again. âi still havenât heard what i wanna hear though, mr. bakugou.â
he rolls his eyes and pinches at your thigh as he mumbles out a âdonât call me that.â sighing, he looks at you intensely and you suddenly feel very shy.
âwill you be my girlfriend, ya shitty girl ?â and he says it as a joke, you both know it is cus his lips are already forming into a smirk the second he finishes his sentence. and youâre pulling at his nose the moment you register it, but youâre both smiling hard. he laughs and youâre sure youâll never get tired of the sound. âwhatâs your answer, pretty ?â he asks playfully and you pretend to really think it over just to mess with him, and giggling out a âyes!â when he suddenly pounces on you. flipping you both over and tickling you mercilessly, calling it revenge for you âtaking too damn long to answer.â
youâd been katsukiâs for as long as you can remember, and you hope you can be forever.
#just a silly little thing i wrote in record time in the bus#i love him sm yall dont get him like i do#just silly boyfriend katsuki tingz#him n my oc r childhood friends in my canon so thats why i made this#i love my boyfriend#I didnât know how to end this one either#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugo fluff#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou drabble#bakugou fluff#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x female reader#bakugo x oc
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[insp] [Alex]
Prince Henry of Edinburgh is accurate to the movie don't @ me
#red white and royal blue#henry hanover stuart fox#henry fox mountchristen windsor#alex claremont diaz#taylor zakhar perez#nicholas galitzine#rwrbedit#rwrb movie#rwrb source#the real reason alex whipped out his phone#do you know how many times i re-wrote whether arthur would be a duke or not#my poor flatmate does#maybe this is why the book had shitty research#i also changed my mind about catherine being princess of wales between alex's gifset and henry's#teeeechnically after the succession act in 2013 she could have been given the title?#but.... i don't see it happening#(yes i know she was in the book but once again the book put zero effort into researching anything british)#(and i'm not sugar coating my opinion of that lack of effort)
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revstar emu save me
#please watch revue starlight#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#Im so mad i wrote 8 million tags stream of consciousness style and then aposted this to the weong account#im not rewriting all that. you get NOTHING.#actually i will say again i have no idea why this kind of blee up on twit please WATCH TEVUE STAKRIGHTBTNGL#i KNOW 4 thiusand of you did not watch it Watch revue starlight Do not speak of yuri unless you partske in the revue#sorry. anyways#the jist of it was ahh the assignments -> making cosplay -> might post it here if i can take a bice photo for once in my life#because im proud of it. as mortifying as it is.#my best friend is cosplaying an im the clown Two lesbians walk into the metro convention centre(is that where toronto comicon is????)#Oh right i was thinking of making little drswings of pjsk charas or at least exs and printing them out in bulk on a dheet of paper#and coloring them in w markers and giving them to people at the pjsk meetup or vendors i get merch from..#i thought itd be fun. Also i swear to god i have a sheet of like MAGNET paper somewhere i want to make people emu magnets#Ok i fucking for real have to go to sleep i have to get up for class in 5 hours. wuit your college join my emo(daily affirmations)
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I forgot the set up so all yall get is the punchline
#my art#dreamworks trolls#trolls 3#trolls#trolls band together#brozone#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#the set up had something to do with floyds earring#and john was like 'why the earring everyone already knows'#and then it led to this#it was a lot and i couldnt remember it lol#i remembered this section tho cuz i wrote it down#idk why this is the only one i wrote down#im a little silly#but hey thats why im so funny
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The stress was beginning to seep in. Your eyebags becoming more visible by the day. No one could tell you were more tired than the past week.
You were more quiet and less aggressive in your talking. You seem to have lost your spirit in a way, but of course, the man in the mask figured it out.
Ghost eyed you on the other side of the room. You were bobbing your head, nearly falling asleep before being shaken awake by the slight fall of your body.
You were being distracted by the lights and paid no mind to Ghost's wandering eyes.
It wasn't until around 2100 (9:00pm) when he knocked at your door. You weren't asleep yet. Your light was still on.
Opening the door you asked, "Is something wrong?"
You hadn't changed out of uniform and still seemed out of it.
"Why aren't you asleep?"
"Why are you awake?"
You snapped back at him. You weren't in the mood. You've been tolerable all day, no arguments or fights, but it's clear he came to ruin that.
He stared at you in silence. The mask made him more intimidating which caused you to fess up.
You ran your hands through you hair, frowning in disgust at the knots in your hair.
"Just some family problems is all."
"Losing sleep over your family?"
You sighed, "What do you need?"
"Need you to sleep so we could complete this mission."
"I'm not broken, I can still do the mission."
Silence permeated the hall, other than the occasional fizzle from that one light the base swears isn't broken or haunted.
"Can I come in?"
The door widened a foot further, allowing the masked man inside. You didn't understand why you would let him in. You don't let anyone in your room, at least, not for silly matters like this.
He followed you further into your room after shutting the door, and settled on the side of your bed. You didn't have time to question it before you fell.
Collapsing on the spot, Ghost caught you before the ground could do actual damage to your body.
I guess the sleep had caught up to you, just as Ghost had caught you.
Sleep truly is not for the weak. Stay healthy, guys.
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masterlist
#did i use tolerable right cuz i prolly didnt but you know my mood be like this rn#i sometimes forget not all ppl know abt the 24 hr clock or as some of the americans call it the military clock#simon ghost riley#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#ghost simon riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#ghost mw2#ghost x reader#x reader#x gn reader#gn reader#reader imagine#reader pronouns unstated#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley call of duty#call of duty x reader#tired reader#reader faints#I made the reader faint because i was too lazy to continue cuz i am in fact tired rn just as reader is#synthe4u#synthe4u writing#gonna bawl and cry because i hate doing work but i will write stuff like this but the writing at that good#i love other ppls writings#remembering why i wrote like two other things jst bc one person is like keep up the writing
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what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
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"what do hands mean about a character?"
Their hands mean they love eachother
(webcomic)
#i almost wrote 'source' instead of 'webcomic'#that's a little twitter brain rot right there ngl#it's so bad on twitter rn yall like#straight up isn't showing my posts to my followers anymore#and art in general does. so much worse when it's actually the artist posting them#like provably art performs better when the artist pretends they stole it...#so so so glad I'm still on tumblr LMFAO#every time i use twitter i take psychic damage#'ohhhh why do you still use it' everyone is asking me this#my job. is to post art#kinda gotta post#I mean. ok that's not my job#you know this and I know this#but it's an important part of my career#its gonna be my job after i leave webtoon tho#god i hope that works#im so scared#LMAOOOO#anyways. these hands look good as hell#i think all the hands i draw look good#caus i love hands#but i loooove drawing hand holding...#the amount you can say with how a hand touches another.#im gonna be thriving with wwl#cause they have to hold hands or hell die#pump it into my veins#ok i can tell my bf js getting annoyed ive had my phone on for 3 hours in bed by#time and time again#adam and Steve#webtoon originals
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Cheating Death Part 2
Part 1 here.
Only seconds after Lena vanished in the portal, the Kryptonite cage melted into the floor. A yellow light pulsed so brightly, Kara had to close her eyes. Light infused her cells and pushed the pain of the Kryptonite away.
Lena's words echoed in Kara's head. How she'd stomped and shouted, the tears on her face, the desperation in her voice. How heartbroken she'd been when she'd said, "No, no you don't get to tell me who I am anymore."
She didn't know what to do. Lena had been hurting and grieving this entire time, and what had she and her friends done? Celebrated her brother's death, ignored Lena's increasingly isolating behaviors, and pretended everything was fine.
It wasn't fine.
Yet, the yellow light. Why had that activated? Was it Lena or the Fortress?
Kara ran through the Fortress to the control panel. She dug into the log and swiftly found Lena's code. It had been programmed to create the cage if Kara asked about Myriad, but then the yellow light was also programmed to heal Kara after Lena escaped. A note was annotated on that section of the code, and Kara's breath caught in her throat.
"I wish I could stop loving you. This hurts worse than death."
Tears dampened her cheeks and she wiped them away. What would she tell Alex? How can she explain any of this?
She didn't want her friends to turn on Lena, and Alex definitely would go after Lena if she knew about the cage. It'd been temporary, and Lena had programed a healing sun-bed equivalent burst for after. That alone gave her hope that she could still reach Lena.
Because even in her heartbreak, Lena did not want Kara dead.
She grabbed the weapon she needed, the same one Lena had used to stop Leviathan from killing Kara, and re-calibrated security. Her tears froze on her cheeks by the time she finished.
Kara flew out of the Fortress and high into the stratosphere. She listened for Lena's heartbeat, but heard nothing at first. Fear clenched her heart. Either Lena hid behind lead, or something terrible had gone wrong since she'd left. She hoped it was the former.
With a heavy heart, she flew to the DEO. Alex waited on a balcony.
"Kara?" Alex said, alarmed. "What the hell happened? Where's Lena?"
Kara held out the weapon. "It works as hoped. Sustained blast will keep Rama Khan down, and then attach the power dampeners."
Alex took the weapon with a frown. "Kara, what happened to Lena? Where is she?"
Kara shook her head. She couldn't voice it. She refused to believe Lena was lost to them. There had to be a way to save her, to bring her back, to repair what Kara had fucked up.
She pressed her hands against her face and flinched when Alex tried to touch her shoulder. "I got to find her," she whispered. "I got to make things right. I got to."
"Kara, I can't help if you don't tell me." Alex's voice held kindness, but Kara knew how quickly Alex could turn to anger. When it came to Kara's safety, Alex might cross a line she'd regret. Kara had done it for Alex a few times.
But with Lena? Kara had no boundaries. Lena held her heart in a way no one else did. She'd talked herself into settling for Mon-el, but it'd never been who she needed.
She needed Lena.
"Kara?" Alex tried again. "Kara, talk to me."
"She's the one who shot Lex." The words felt unreal.
Alex's brow wrinkled. "I thought he died when he fell."
Kara shook her head. "We never found a body or even parts from his suit, remember? If he had a portal watch, he could have gone anywhere."
Alex sucked in a breath. "And Lena was waiting for him?"
Kara nodded. "She shot him to protect us. She's been grieving and hurting all this time, and what have we done? Ignored her grief! Where were we for her pain?" She paced the balcony as fury at herself and everyone around her built up in her sternum. "I hurt her! I hurt her with my lies, and I have to fix this."
"Kara," Alex hefted the weapon. "Maybe let Lena have her space. We still have to deal with--"
"Alex, you didn't hear her!" Her pacing quickened and a groove appeared in the concrete from her superspeed.
Kara should tell Alex, and yet she couldn't. She needed to save Lena from Myriad herself, but to do that, she needed to find Lena. And she still couldn't hear her heartbeat.
She let out a shout of rage, her fist colliding with the wall and shattering the concrete. "I hurt the person I love! I have to fix this. I have to bring her back."
Her rage petered into sobs, and she fell to her knees.
Her, the strongest and fastest on the planet, brought to her knees by a Luthor.
She thinks of all the times she could have told Lena, and how she'd chickened out, afraid of losing her. Afraid of living a life without Lena's presence. Now a Lena-shaped hole had been carved in her chest, and she hurt.
It felt like Kryptonite all over again.
Was this how Lena had felt the past few months? This agony?
And yet, Lena had still helped. She'd still saved Kara's life. Still built devices that helped others. Why Myriad? Why use that monstrous device? Kara couldn't make sense of it. The months of pretending to be Kara's friend.
She should be angry at Lena. Furious at the betrayal, but she felt only grief. She'd started this with her lies, with leaving Lena in the dark. Lena could have helped so much more if she'd been in on it from the start. Then this never would have happened.
Kara sat there, silent, head-bowed long enough for Alex to leave and return with a cup of herbal tea. Rooibos since most other teas were too intense thanks to Kara's supertaste. Her fingers curled around the warm cup.
"I tasked Brainy and J'onn with the weapons. We'll deal with Leviathan." Alex smiled and squeezed Kara's shoulder. "You do what you need to do, Kara. I'm with you, okay?"
Kara nodded numbly. She sipped the tea and slowly became aware of a high-pitched beeping. "Wait, that's the signal watch," she murmured. She put down the cup and listened. It came from downtown. "Lena," she whispered.
Before Alex could respond, Kara blasted into the sky and broke the sound barrier. The crack whipped across the city and shook windows. She landed on Lena's balcony at L-Corp, ripped open the door, and dashed into a dark room. The beeping came from the stairwell.
Horror twisted her gut. She supersped down the stairs, all forty-three flights, until she reached the stairs just below ground level near the door to security.
She threw open the door and the thick scent of iron assaulted her nose.
Eve lay in a pool of blood, no heartbeat. Someone dressed in black lay crumbled near Eve, again no heartbeat. Blood coated the stairs from where Lena must have crawled.
Lena, her Lena, lay motionless, one hand on the top step. For a horrifyingly long second, Kara couldn't hear a heartbeat. She dropped next to Lena and pressed her fingers against Lena's pulse point.
No, there it was.
A faint badum-badum, the most precious sound in the universe.
She could do nothing for the others, but she still had a chance to save Lena. A scan of her body revealed the bullet in her side, how it pierced a lung.
Kara gathered Lena into her arms, and ran through the security sector, hitting each door with her shoulder to wrench it open, until she finally made her way outside.
Lena's blood soaked into her suit, her head rolling in Kara's arms. She held her close and flew as fast as she dared toward the DEO. "Lena, please," she whispered, "please hold on. Don't you dare die on me. Not now. Not like this."
When her feet touched down, she heard Alex's voice shouting about a Rama Khan sighting. Agents poured into vehicles, and the team prepared to leave.
Kara ignored them. She walked through the bustle, and people parted for her.
Alex turned from where she studied Brainy's screens. Her eyes widened. "What the hell...?"
"Please. Help her." Tears clouded her vision.
"Medical now. Brainy J'onn's in charge." Alex grasped Kara's arm and maneuvered her through the mess of the control center. Technicians worked on last minute fine-tuning of weapons, and others manned screens plotting possible vectors. Activity that meant nothing to Kara, not if Lena died.
Not if she couldn't speak her last truth to Lena.
She laid Lena on the medical bed, and Alex ordered her nurses to get an IV in immediately. Kara began to pace, the blood drying on her suit. Alex cut away Lena's shirt and examined the wound.
"She needs surgery now."
"What do I do?" she asked Alex, anguished. "What do I do?"
Alex shook her head. "You can't help with this. Go help J'onn, and wear Lena's anti-kryptonite suit. I'm not sure how long I'll be in surgery."
"Can you save her?"
"I will try my best," Alex said. She refused to look at Kara, and that told her far too much.
Alex didn't think Lena would make it.
"Promise?" the words came out small, plaintive.
"Promise. Now get out of my way." Alex hooked the IV bag to the pole on one end of the bed, and rolled it toward an interior suite. Two nurses followed along with a second doctor.
Kara closed her eyes and listened to the most beautiful heartbeat in the universe -- it faintly hung on, slower and slower with each passing minute.
She couldn't stay and watch the medical team open up Lena. She couldn't.
Instead, she grabbed the anti-kryptonite suit. As it flowed over her, she almost wept again. It felt like Lena hugged her, the suit entirely her design and her nanites.
She flew outside and listened for J'onn. The fight was to the southeast by the docks.
Hadn't Leviathan been targeting Lena? She'd saved her once from them already. Maybe twice if she counted the break-in that had knocked Lena unconscious.
Now Lena was dying, and Kara didn't just want justice for Lena.
She wanted to tear apart whoever ordered that assassin.
The windows shook at the sonic boom, and the ground cratered when she landed.
Rama Khan and another Leviathan member battled J'onn and Dreamer, who had the weapon from the Fortress. Agents, with adjusted weaponry to match the power-disrupting frequency, scattered around the docks.
Kara didn't care about the risk. She didn't care about the Kryptonite weapons the assholes carried.
She crashed into Rama Khan and threw him into a dock building. The wall crumpled. "Did you hire Lena Luthor's killer?" she growled.
Rama Khan laughed and stood with hardly a mark on him and his ridiculous earth-toned suit. "Those who cross Leviathan do not live to tell the tale. Let you now join her, Supergirl." He extended his hand and the ground shook violently.
A blast from Dreamer's gun sent Rama Khan sprawling. Kara sped over and grabbed him by the throat. Her feet she stomped on his arms. "No one hurts Lena and survives," she growled. Her eyes glowed, and she let out a scream of grief and fury.
She blasted him and punched him again and again. Blood gushed from his face, but then he melted into the earth and stumbled into being a few feet away.
Only for Dreamer to blast him again. Kara pummeled him with the rage of a thousand suns. Her vision red, and the land ripped and shredded in their fight. Part of the pier demolished when Kara threw Rama Khan's accomplice into it. Another building fell when Rama blasted Kara into its walls.
Rama Khan slowed, each blast from the gun scrambled his powers long enough for Kara to rip into him until he bled from multiple places. She lost track of the others, so intent on eliminating the one who ordered Lena's hit.
"Kara!" J'onn clamped the power dampeners on the alien. "Kara, we got him."
Kara clenched Rama's neck and looked down to see the cuffs clasped to his wrists.
How much loss could a heart handle? Why did the universe seek to torture her so? Her entire planet, nearly all her friends, and now the woman she loves most -- loss melted through her crevices, filled her with a blinding fury.
She'd fought to keep everyone alive. It's why she needed to be in control, but that obsession of controlling everything, to make sure she never lost, had poisoned her. She couldn't control everything.
She couldn't even save Lena. The thought of Lena dying in surgery, of never hearing her voice again -- even Lena shouting in anger?
Her fingers crunched bone. Rama Khan tumbled from her grasp and hit the ground with a thump, motionless.
Dreamer and J'onn looked at her, but she didn't respond to their words or looks. Agents swarmed around them to secure the site, while Brainy set up the containment unit for Rama Khan and his accomplices. The ruckus roared like the sea in her ears.
She turned without a word and shot into the sky. She flew as high as she could, to where little to no oxygen existed. The fury burned in her, and she wanted to rip herself apart. She deactivated her helmet, turned off its life support systems, and let the lack of air suffocate her and her emotions.
She'd live. She'd always live, wouldn't she? While all she loved died.
She closed her eyes and let herself fall. Air whooshed around her body, screamed in her ears as she hit terminal velocity. For those brief moments, she heard nothing but the shrill wind, the rest of the Earth drowned out in her fall. A moment of release from the endless soundscape.
Halfway to the ground, she righted herself and flew to the edge of Earth's atmosphere. Again she let herself fall. For a third time, she soared high and fell.
Each time she let herself get closer and closer to hitting the ocean. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't outpace her fury at her own actions. At her failure.
This time she hit the water. She sunk into its depths.
Sea life swam around her, the distant calls of whales rippled through the water. What should delight her brought her sorrow.
No, she couldn't die. Her wretched powers, her curse, kept her alive. Kept her isolated from those she loved. Her careful, practiced control meant even in moments of extreme emotion, she still had to make sure not to hug too tightly. And kissing? How many noses had she broken?
All she wanted was Lena. Even if she could never be with Lena, she needed Lena to be alive. To be healthy and happy. Kara could live with just being on the sidelines, right? As long as Lena was alive.
She burst out of the ocean in a shower of sea water. She hung in the air and watched the waves below her. Her ears tuned to her favorite heartbeat, and there it was, faint, far too faint, but still pulsing.
A slither of hope wove into Kara's wretched spirit. She flew back to the DEO, the wind drying the moisture from the sea.
When she landed, Nia met her at the balcony's doors. "Kara," she breathed out as if she'd been running. "Been looking everywhere."
Kara crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want?"
"It's Lena. Alex said to let you know the surgery is ongoing and Lena's handling it like a pro." Nia met her gaze, but worry painted across her face. "Don't lose hope yet. She may still live."
Kara said nothing. She heard the rebuke in Nia's words, but she didn't regret her actions. For Lena, there was no boundaries. She'd destroy a thousand Rama Khans if it meant saving Lena.
She followed Nia down the hall, through two intersections, and into the medical bay. Most of the beds were occupied by injured agents from the Leviathan battle. It was the surgery room that occupied all of Kara's attention.
Lena's heart beat still in those glass walls.
Kara walked up to them and pressed a hand against the cool glass. Lena looked so pale. So fragile.
The tears returned. Her chest constricted with a Lena-shaped hole that ached with each beat of her heart.
She didn't move from that spot for the rest of the surgery. Kara held vigil in silence, unmoving. She'd given Lena revenge on those who tried to kill her, and now Kara waited.
Waited for hope to dawn once more.
/end part 2
#supercorp#kara danvers#supergirl#kara zor el#kara x lena#cw supergirl#Lena Luthor#Alex Danvers#That one episode where Kara falls from super high in the sky haunts me and why it appeared in this fic#Yeah I rewrote end of Leviathan storyline because they make no sense as villains anyway and I wanted to get them out of the way#so I could explore how Kara seeing Lena barely alive and covered in blood is the straw that broke the camel's back#Kara's life is marked by loss and Lena's loss tips her close to a dark edge just like Alex's loss likely would do as well#So as Lena barely holds on to life#Kara barely holds on to hope and light#Again I don't know why I wrote this super angsty fic#And I guess there will be a third part now#In a way I suppose both parts is a character study
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I did Karaoke for my birthday a bit back and had a lot of fun, so I got to thinking about what songs these two might do, and of course they'd do Pokemon songs! I immediately thought of OK! 2000 for Kabu since the singer screams at the top of her lungs right at the beginning, haha. Larry's voice is softer in Japanese than I expected, so I thought of something a bit quieter for him - Soko ni Sora ga Arukara. It turned out the lyrics for that kind of fit!
When you become tired from trying so hard, Look to the sky as you shed your tears. The wind brushes your cheeks, I'm sure it'll say: "It's okay if you fall. You are you and that makes you wonderful!" Those that haven't been hurt cannot see the blue sky. On a journey you hesitate to walk on, your life will shine.
The OK! lyrics are simpler.
OK! Let's move on OK! If we're together, we'll be all right OK! Even if the winds change OK! Our dream won't!
Since the lyrics were in Japanese I figured I should write them out for real instead of Romanizing them, which made me realize just how long it's been since I've written in Japanese, haha. I bet my handwriting is terrible...
[patreon]
#pokemon#pokemon masters ex#larry#kabu#larrykabu#aokabu#ăąăȘă«ă#aokb#firebland#silverstreakshipping#afterworkshipping#kablarry#z art#z comic#pokemon swsh#pokemon sv#larry starts out very quiet but slowly gets more power the more confident he gets#karaoke is a very normal thing for salarymen to do!#doesn't mean he can't get a bit awkward about it#people in the room next door tell them to keep it down#did you know i collected pokemon music obsessively for a long period of time#i have a page on my pokemon site cataloguing all the pokemon cds#i did eventually fall out of it around like 2012 but i have a pretty extensive collection of older songs#running way back to when the series first started#thus why my first thoughts were two older songs... i haven't heard many of the more recent ones#for some reason when i wrote in japanese i kept drifting up and to the right#i had to readjust all of the characters to try and be in a straight line lol
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#âthis war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting draftedâ idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of âwhat 2nd gen kids owe their parentsâ which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as âwealthyâ and âprivilegedâ and âeliteâ when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is âHAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!â#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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benrey moving in with gordon postcanon cliche
#hlvrai#gordon feetman#benrey#benry#joshua freeman#i dont know if you can do trios on one console. dont look into it too hard#i thought giving benrey little alien antennae would be cute so i DID IT!!!#i dont know why i wrote out benreys font instead of typing it.#symphonart
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"Growing up is realising a (random ship) you loved is actually weird and bad"
Yeah? Is it? Great, I love it even more. The worse it is the Better.
#seeing alot of gf fans deny the billdip phase and you are all WEAK#god i wrote some true shit for them#do you guys notice how most dni accounts are under 25 cause i do#and we all know why#babes some day this will not matter as much as you fucking think it does#i used to think some things were weird but now im older and weird things is just good taste#explore your ships#youre fucking allowed to age up characters stop letting people stop you thr characters are fake!!!#nothing you do will hurt a fictional character#feel free to ignore this#clicking into an account and seeing a dni and sliding over to the age and being like âyep#yep yep yep i knew itâ#never in my life have a seen actual adults care#okay for the sake of this resonancing#freaks interact#lmao#is this discourse?#its for sure proship
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the rapture
it's a holy thing, in theory, a glorious celebration, where those who believe rise to meet the lord in the air. it's a day of joy, in theory, and maybe even of vindication for those who have always believed.
but no one thinks about how it's like to see the dead rise againâbodies clawing their way out of bolted wood and six feet of packed earth, bodies decomposed and maggot-feasted, nails stained with rot and dirt. no one thinks about the violent lurch of their bodies being jolted into the air by the stomach, gravity flinging their heads back down to earth as they struggle in vain to find footing on molecules and gas. no one thinks about those who don't make it.
no one thinks about the screams.
crowley hadn't thought about any of these things. he certainly hadn't thought about the angels that would be called back to heaven along with the believers.
here they stand dead in the middle of absolute ruin, the promise of heaven the only thing left to look forward to on the wasteland of this earth. the sky has opened up like the eye of god, watching over her people for the very first time, and crowley's black wings against the beams of light only remind him that he doesn't belong up there with the rest of them. crowley wraps his arms tight around aziraphale, squeezes his torso like he can maybe keep aziraphale with him through sheer will or, laughably, demonic intervention. like love could ever be enough. like love could stay.
around them, the cacophony of wails and mockingly exaltant trumpets scorch the earth in their intensity, clashing and agonising evenâespeciallyâfor them, and words make no sound. but they hold on to each other, even as they shrink into themselves against the noise of the undying. i don't want to leave you either, aziraphale doesn't say, but his hands dig into the cotton of crowley's sleeve, and crowley hears the words through his fingertips.
he feels a stronger upward resistance against his embrace now, and he clings tighter, steadfast, even as aziraphale's grip falters. but he knows he can't hold on forever. he knows that nothing ever lasts.
trembling with something unspeakable, he lifts his arms from aziraphale's torso and covers the angel's ears with his hands. he feels more than hearing aziraphale's resulting sob, and he spreads out his wings to wrap them around their bodies. a shield, a comfort, a goodbye.
it's okay, the gesture says in silence. i'll see you in another lifetime.
#fearandhatred#fearandart#fearandfics#i usually don't say this but please zoom in i'm begging this took Effort#if the style of aziracrow looks really different from the background it's because i didn't know what i was doing#like literally don't even ask me how i did this bro i have no idea#also i know i wrote about crowley's wings but i would have rather died than drawn wings again so. leave me alone#this was originally gonna be just crowley and aziraphale in this pose inspired by cabin in the woods with no extra context#then eybe saw the wip and was like None of them are dying in this right. Right leanne. Right#so i said hey why not#i've had the rapture drawing idea in my notes app for a longgg time so i decided to combine the two#and then i wrote this snippet in the next 20 minutes#so thank u eybe#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#good omens fanart#good omens art#good omens fanfic#good omens ficlet
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! âŐââČá”â”à„âââĄ
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (ïœĄââœâïœĄ)⥠how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( Ëá”Ë )⥠I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#âĄïŒŸâœïŒŸâĄ
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Pac: You know Ramon, maybe one day you can start doing farms here? I would appreciate it! And I can pay you in chocolates and diamonds, you know?
Ramon: pay me by marrying my dad
Fit: No, heyâ [Stammers] Ramon! Ramon!
Bagi: YES!!! Yes, Ramon, yes!
Pac: [Laughs] Nooo, Ramon! You got me- you got me right on the spot!. Dammit! Ok... I will consider! I will consider. [...]Let's make a deal: I will do that when you become a dragon. đ
Ramon: đ
Fit: [Laughs] Yeah, when you become a dragon, Ramon! That sounds good to me!
[ Full Transcript â ]
â
Pac: Yeah, Ramon knows about Create. You know Ramon, maybe one day you can start doing farms here? I would appreciate it! And I can pay you in chocolates and diamonds, you know?
[Fit and Bagi laugh]
Fit: That's a good reward, yeah!
Bagi: Chocolate and diamonds!
Pac: Yeah [Laughs]
Ramon: pay me by marrying my dad
Fit: No, heyâ [Stammers] Ramon! Ramon!
Pac: "Pay me by marrying my dad"? Ohâ [Stammers] Ramon! Ramon! Ramon!
Bagi: YES!!! Yes, Ramon, yes!
Fit: [Fit uses his chainsaw to break the sign and accidentally hits Ramon] Oh, sorryâ I was trying to break the sign, I'm sorry, Ramon.
Pac: Ramon! [He does the "falls to pieces" emote]
Fit: Baby steps, Ramon! Baby steps!
Pac: Baby stâ Ramon, rememberâ
Bagi: Yes, Ramon, yes!
Pac: [Laughs] Nooo, Ramon! You got me- you got me right on the spot!
Fit: [Laughs]
Pac: I'm gonâ props- props on you, you know? It was a goodâ yeah. Dammit! Ok... I will consider! I will consider.
Ramon: [Nods repeatedly]
Fit: Yeah, you can't rush these things Ramon, you know? Like, it's- it'sâ You know? I meanâ plus, you know, wâ we got our own things we're working through!
Pac: [Leaning into the mic] You can't rush on love.
Fit: Yeah, exactly! Likeâ yeah. You know? We're working on ourselves. Yeah.
Pac: Yeah.
Fit: [Weakly] Yeah...
Ramon: [Spins in a circle wildly]
Pac: Baby steps!
Fit: Baby steps, baby steps.
Pac: One dayâ ok, let's make a deal: I will do that when you become a dragon.
Ramon: [Stares at the ground, resigned]
[Pac and Fit both laugh]
Fit: Oh yeahâ Yeah, when you become a dragon, Ramon! That sounds good to me!
Ramon: [Tosses a potion of swiftness on them]
Pac: Woooo! Baby steps no moreâ I'm just kidding.
Fit: [Laughs]
#Pactw#FitMC#QSMP#Hideduo#FitPac#Ramon#I almost wrote FitTW and PacMc... Lord...#January 19 2024#Timestamp ~3h 5m on Fit's stream and ~2h 57m on Pac's stream#I love how they both tease Ramon going ''Yeah when you become a dragon!'' pfttt#Two grown ass men bullying a child... you hate to see it /j#Yet another reason why none are the Eggs are dead or locked away or whatever#Not even Cucurucho could stop the force of nature that is Ramon trying to get his father to marry Pac#I personally think it's sweeter if they don't get married because you don't NEED to get married for your relationship to ''count''#and it isn't any less valid#But I know that's a minority opinion in the fandom haha#I'm also against it because both Fit and Pac have separately said they don't ever see their characters getting married#But that's just my two cents! It's funny regardless#I also think Fit's comment of ''We're working on ourselves'' is really good too#Sometimes people do gotta work on themselves before they can be in committed relationships#Anyways I love how Fit stammered through an entire paragraph saying absolutely nothing and went ''You know?''
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