#disordered eating /-/-/

[shamebats]

[q-u-x]

Wish I could do this but it's night time at like 4 pm

when im hungry at home and feel like breaking my fast, i go on a walk. i walk as far and fast as i can until i feel lightheaded and like im gonna faint. then i walk all the way back home and im too tired so i just sleep.

[canonkiller]

it's going

[q-u-x]

what are some foods that make you guys' stomach upset? (I need something to sicken me so i dont eat more)

[thelightfluxtastic]

I have a research background in weight stigma and I currently work in mental health, often with LGBTQ+ clients.

I've met nonbinary people who struggle with disordered eating because they only ever see androgyny depicted as featureless thinness.

I've met trans women who struggle with disordered eating because they've internalized the idea that girls are meant to be thin, dainty, and delicate.

I've men trans men who struggle with disordered eating, because they feel women are allowed to be soft/curvy but men need to be muscular or thin and flat.

So many trans people are convinced that weight loss is the key to appearing as their desired gender, even when they want radically different gender presentations.

The societal idealization of thinness and fatphobia falsely invades and derails people's idea of what their "ideal body" should look like.

[teaboot]

Kind of a random hill to die on rn but "You'd eat this thing you hate if you got hungry enough" does not set a reasonable expectation of what "hungry enough" means for people with food problems.

Like, are we talking "stomach grumbling" hungry enough, or "can't stand up" hungry enough? Cause personally, I can make myself eat a bit of a pork chop if I'm barfy and shaking and can't see straight anymore, but if it's down to "black out for three days and wake up angry and confused" or "willingly swallow prosciutto", I'm having sleep for dinner. And I know this from experience.

People without food problems don't seem to understand this and it drives me insane. "Hungry enough" is for shit like chewing drywall because the alternative is death or cannibalism.

If I say I can't eat something, It means I can't eat it. It Is Not Edible To Me. It's not even appetizing. It literally does not register as food. You might as well hand me a rubber duck.

And it's frustrating!! Trust me, I wish I wasn't like this, too!! This isn't a choice!! I know it can be rude!! It's embarassing!! It's complicated and annoying and irrational!! That doesn't fix the problem!!

I just wish people didn't treat this sort of thing as "being picky" or lacking willpower or basic manners or something. I can't make myself eat certain foods the way you probably couldn't cut your own fingers off. Does that make sense? It's not just food. Fuck

[porcelains-sk1nny]

hungry? look at your thighs and say no.

[un-monstre]

Something that I wished we talked more about is that some people who recover from eating disorders will become fat. Some people’s bodies will just naturally be a bit bigger, especially after the stress of a lifetime of disordered eating. Weight gain is value neutral and often a part of recovery, and you cannot be fatphobic without directly advocating against people recovering.

[tangledinink]

whining. pouting. sulking, even. he better not use my NICE body wash...

✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]

[skinnylight1day]

I hope ana can accept me, i promise ill be good.

[3liza]

According to this study, women diagnosed with [anorexia nervosa] at the age of 15 years are likely to live 25 years less than predicted for the normal population; women diagnosed at the age of 20 are predicted to have 36.6 years of life remaining, versus 60.5 for the normal population; and for those in whom AN starts at the age of 25 the estimate of years of life remaining is 32.2, versus 55.5.

https://sci-hub.st/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378512213001254

[recoveryposting]

a little while ago i was talking to a friend about my ed and i dont remember the context but she said to me "I LOVE CARBOHYDRATES!!!!! I LOVE CALORIES!!!!!!" and i stopped and stared at my phone because i had genuinely never heard anyone say they love calories. like, even implicitly theres this messaging that lower calorie = better and that we should enjoy of food despite the calories it contains. and i was just floored that this was the first time i had ever heard anything like that and it made me feel so comforted. anyway appreciate your friends they are some of the most important people in the world

[canonkiller]

abjectly refuse to romanticize weight loss and malnutrition. that shit kills you. to starve yourself is crippling¹ even in the ""bearable"" "well I'm just hungry less" / "other people have it worse" / "it's only a few skipped meals" / etc ways. you have this fucking life and that's it so please if you do nothing else allow yourself to actually be alive in it. do you hear me? take your supplements and multivitamins and eat breads and meats and vegetables and fats and sugars and shit that just fucking tastes good okay? thank you

[waiting-to-bloom-again]

301 cal breakfast

Today I've planned to eat 515 cals but with house work some dancing and yoga I'll definitely be in the negative anyway

[goldyke]

LAP Bands should be illegal

This post is going to deal with medical fatphobia, weight loss surgery, coercion, emetophobia, food issues, disordered eating, and just all around bad shit. But it’s important.

Shortly after I reached adulthood, I was coerced into weight loss surgery. I weighed about 250 pounds and was considered morbidly obese.

The Lap Band is a disgrace to the medical profession and is just another example of how the medical profession does not care about the lives of fat people.

To preface this: the surgery works. I lost 70 pounds and people treated me differently and I hated them all for it.

The Lap Band made my life miserable. When it was filled, I could not eat until noon without getting stuck. Even then, getting stuck was always a risk. There was a strict diet to follow and you were supposed to be safe from that if you followed it. On top of that, there were rules for how you ate. One standard I saw was not to eat in bites larger than your fingernail. Can you see yourself doing that for a week, let alone years and years?

Getting stuck is a horror you can't imagine. The food lodges in the top of your stomach, blocking off your system. You continue to produce saliva and swallow it down. Slowly, the mucous in your saliva builds up. It feels like you're drowning. Eventually, you have to essentially throw it all up. A disgusting experience (and a mortifying one if you're in public.) The saliva is thick and ropy. This experience is often called "sliming" on the forums.

I became frightened of eating in public. In a way, I became frightened of food altogether. I knew something had to give the day I reacted to someone biting a hamburger in a tv show the way a regular person would react to a killer jumping out in a horror movie. I developed the disgusting and unhealthy habit of chewing and spitting out food. I completely lost my enjoyment of many foods I had previously enjoyed because of how problematic they were (I can no longer enjoy a chicken thigh for example.) I stopped eating meals and began grazing. I developed eating habits worse than the ones that "made me fat"

After 3 years, I had the band emptied of fluid, which significantly decreased, but did not stop, these problems. I regained the weight, and found it didn't bother me. (Along the way I discovered that my discomfort with my body had never been weight related)

I had my band removed after 6.5 years earlier this year. I am in a support group on facebook for victims of this malpractice. There are 5.6 thousand members, each with their own horror stories. Some of them cannot get the band removed because insurance will not cover the procedure, though they happily covered the band's placement. Some have tried to go through with removal but have had surgeons try to coerce them into getting a different weight-loss surgery instead of just removing it. Many have long-term damage from the band eroding the walls of their stomach or esophagus, or from the band adhering to multiple organs. Many of them had the band for 12-14 years, before removal because none of our doctors told us it needs to be removed within 10.

Many practices no longer perform Lap Band surgery and now believe it is unethical. The surgeon who removed my band still performs this surgery regularly.

A study performed in 2011 with 151 lap band patients, found that 22% of patients experienced minor complications and 39% experienced major complications. The person who coerced me into surgery actually experienced major complications and needed an emergency removal.

I experienced no serious complications. Everything I described above is considered normal. And It still drastically lowered my quality of life.

I don't know why I'm sharing this or who I'm sharing it for, but here I am. If you know anyone considering the lap band surgery, don't let them go through with it without knowing the truth. And please be kinder to your body than the medical profession wants you to be.