#dismantle the two party system
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Protect your franchise! VOTE! Text CHECK to 50409
Quick Reminder if you need to update anything.
It's National Voter Registration Day
#text vote to 50409 and put resistbot to work!#50409#resistbot#register to vote#do it right now#vote for ranked voting#ranked voting#dismantle the two party system#dismantle the bipartisan system#but until then#vote blue no matter who#vote blue#and please vote the whole ballot#please vote if you can#your vote matters#go vote#national voters day#sep 20#voter suppression is violence#voter suppression#voter intimidation#vote the whole ballot#absentee ballots#mail in ballots#ballot#intersectional social justice#queer votes matter#bipoc votes matter#poc votes matter#black votes matter
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Maybe this is a good time for everyone to switch to a third party before the elections? Maybe a nice message to the Democratic Party would be to lose their members? Maybe we should dismantle the two party system?
#us politics#politics#democrats#united states#individual plug for the Green Party but there’s so many out there#dismantle the two party system#third party voting
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Every time a non-US person, unfamiliar with the expansive and deep-rooted stupidity of our two-party system, says to vote third party, Project2025 takes another menacing step forward.
Vote locally, vote often, install rank-choice voting in your local governments, which then can go to the county, then the state, then the region, then the country. But until then, we have to condemn ourselves to voting Blue No Matter Who. We cannot vote ourselves out of facism, nor does the American Heritage Foundation want us to, and we cannot start to undo, and give restitution for, our country's rampant imperialism without voting blue.
#us elections#us politics#i'm so serious about this#the two party system was a mistake#and now we have to dismantle it#but we can't do that unless we vote blue
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the billionaires paying off the government to shape it to suit them will not voluntarily give up power, the working class must seize this power. trump does not stand for the average american but rather only serves to further divide the working class, by appealing overwhelmingly to folks that share his views of hatred and feeding them lies to make them believe their neighbor is the enemy instead of elon musk or jeff bezos. this distraction of in-fighting in the working class then diminishes the ability to organize and allows the mega-rich to do whatever they want behind the scenes. folks don't notice that these people are infringing on their rights because they're too concerned with harboring hate towards their immigrant neighbor or their liberal kids, who were never their enemy until trump told them so. it's all part of the plan to increase the divide between rich and poor and increase the power of the rich.
#working class#seize the means of production#eat the rich#america is being fed an illusion of separation to drive us apart until its real#the middle class is being separated and eroded down to widen the power gap between the rich and the poor#kamala wasnt gonna stop any of this either shes as much a part of the machine as trump#but trump cant even be bothered to try to conceal his interests in power above all else and using that power to only help his rich buddies#also the democratic party is crumbling as proven by their increasingly shady tactics every year#dems didnt even get a primary or a chance to pick their candidate...#kamala historically polled low like dems would not have chosen her if they ever even had the chance#no matter who won it was never going to be an actual election its all a farce and an illusion#no people had any real choice in which candidates made it to the election#it was purely here's your two choices#theyre exactly the same (capitalist imperialist etc) but different colors (red or blue)#i hate it here#t#trump is not for the average american#he is lying to you and tricking you to gain power#he wants you to fight with your neighbors and family so you have nothing left but an idol promising youre right and delivering nothing#trumps goal was to be as disagreeable and out there as possible so dems looks frantic and panicked and emotional#its LITERALLY all part of his plan#hes not gonna drain the swamp#hes gonna put rich out of touch people in positions of power and cut all funding to public support systems#if you voted for this i truly believe youve been tricked and youre stupid for letting that happen but also#its easier to trick someone than convince them they've been tricked so its an uphill battle once trump has already deceived the masses#literally fuck this people are so fucking dumb ive been trying to not insult people but this is truly what it comes down to#trumpers who say its all an illusion and we're being tricked but think trump is the solution rather than the puppetmaster himself is nuts#you're being fooled tricked bamboozled hijinksed#like i said i was not for kamala either shes still part of the machine but at least she didnt outwardly promise to dismantle rights...#lowkey wanna tag this trump 2024 just so trumpers actually see it like theyre the ones that need to know lmao
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"if we believe in ourselves hard enough we can do anything" and "there are realistic and unrealistic timeframes for the things we can do" are statements that can and should coexist but lots of people sure are unwilling to have this conversation
#sorry for saying platitudes but i saw another post promoting crnl wst and got annoyed all over again#sure babe you're gonna dismantle the two party system in less than a year. by tweeting reeeeally hard and voting some fringe dude#(with flaming garbage foreign politics but who cares about that right. america[n leftists feeling good about themselves] first)#mari rambles
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if i see one more post that tells me i have to vote biden i am going to lose my mind
#THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS IS STILL FUCKING EVIL#instead of bullying people with legitimate concerns and distrust for biden maybe work on getting him to change his fucked up policies that#have done more harm than good and will continue into a second term#the way i see it democracy has long been dead in this country so at the very least im just going to focus on my local reps and third partie#because until there's a complete dismantling of this two party system than its never going to be a deomcracy#and yeah its gonna fucking suck but guess what it already fucking sucks#at least i wont have the thought that i settled for someone who supports genocide and doesnt actually give a shit#you want the democratic party to change? then you start forcing them to#not just going with this old white warmongering guy instead of that old white warmongering guy#which only contributes to making this system worse and even more broken
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Some more information about Donald Trump’s comments on Palestine. They are, namely, horrifying. He wants to deny Palestinian refugees escaping genocide in Gaza entrance to the US and deport Pro-Palestine protestors. He’s said Israel should “finish the problem,” and given that members of the GOP have already called for nuking Gaza, any and all of us who care about Palestinian life should be very afraid.
https://x.com/magi_jay/status/1744720372250128857?s=46&t=WLunzndd86TYqPF2E217iQ
#free palestine#uncaptioned visual#us poltics#voting#genocide#gazagenocide#voting for biden makes me sick to the stomach#i want him on trial for war crimes#but I’ll do it because I have zero doubt that trump will make things worse for palestinians#i have no doubt that trump would GLEEFULLY use nukes on gaza#in addition to bombs and funds and other munitions same as biden#and I will NOT put palestinian life at even greater risk just to stick it to genocide joe#their lives come before my principles. ALWAYS#but joe biden will still be held accountable. mark my words i will do EVERYTHING in my power to make it so#but palestinian life comes first. the life of marginalized people around the world comes first#that all being said. we cannot overstate the blame biden (and the dnc) have on the genocide in gaza#and how they’ve failed to listen to the american people#and I will NEVER begrudge palestinian americans not voting for biden#also I am not saying we shouldn’t dismantle the two party system#we absolutely should#I just want as few people to die during that process as possible#and if you cant bring yourself to vote for biden (and tbh I dont blame you) please DO vote on all other levels of governent#local elections state elections the whole shebang
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so so sick of jill stein im not going to lie
#us politics#keep seeing people in her instagram comment sections like “im gonna vote for you !” NO YOU ARE NOT#what are you even trying to prove ?? that you don't know how us politics work ????#if jill stein actually cared about the future of american democracy she'd drop out of the race tbh#so so sick of 3rd party candidates siphoning votes from the not fascists like girl. do it when we've dismantled the two party system#listen im all for fucking. voting avs in italy. voting green in canada. that's what i do. its a 15000000 party system it doesnt matter#but in the us you either vote for evil vote for less evil or blow up the white house#where does jill fit into that ? nowhere.
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Been mulling over the news today. But not about Biden, nor Harris. Not the breathless coverage of media-spinning-this-as-another-losing-move-for-Democrats.
I've been thinking about the right-wing in this country. The Republicans. You know, the group the coverage SHOULD be about. Especially as they've fallen into a fascistic cult of personality and vindictive cruelty-as-politics.
What is the Republican platform now? It used to be fiscal conservatism and 'business-interests' (at least on the surface), deregulation, less governmental power. Now it's, well. Trump. Sure. But what are they fighting for? "Get their guy in the White House"?
Well yes. But no. The Republicans are desperately trying to hold power. The power to dismantle the rights of every person in the country who isn't a white-male-Christian-business interest. One of Their Guys.
Why? Why so much now?
Because they're fucking UNPOPULAR. The country doesn't support them! If the entire country voted, the right wing would not meaningfully exist in the US political sphere.
Think about that for a second. REALLY internalize it: If everyone in the US voted, period, full stop. The right would be gone. The Republican party, as it is, now, would be a fucking joke.
So of COURSE they're swinging towards fascism. In a two-party system, a political party's only meaningful directive is survival of the power of their party. The very existence of Project 2025 is proof - it is the last, dying fucking breath a party that has TWO options to stay alive: Fascism and minority-rule, or change.
And they're sure not picking fucking change.
That is what we're up against.
If I could ask ONE thing of any person in the US who desperately wants to keep their human rights, who understands a loss in this election is likely the end of US-democracy as we know it - it would be to point the narrative towards the utterly vile platform of the right wing. Talk about it to everyone. Don't normalize it! Don't EVER say "That's just what Republicans do so it's normal". That's what they want.
If we win the branches of government - if we could make it 10% easier to vote. 5% easier to vote. That could swing elections and politics for a generation. We can even dream bigger: Ranked choice. Mandatory ballots. National holiday voting day.
And Republican strategists know this!! They're so terrified of it they're willing to dismantle the fundamental tenets of the United States of America to prevent it!
PART of why I'm so frustrated with the constant circling-on-Democratic-candidate is because it entirely misses the point. The choice is between a party trying to enshrine minority-Christian-Theocratic-rule in the country for generations - or, you know.
A middlingly-charismatic Democrat.
And, judgement-free - if you had a MOMENT of weighing the 'good' of those things, that's the fucking problem. These things are not remotely equal. The coverage of this political moment is like the coverage of climate change, and it gets into EVERYONE'S head - "The world is ending. But are hot summers REALLY that bad? Experts weigh in!"
The breathless both-sidesing of the current political moment is so appallingly, atrociously irresponsible I hardly have words for how fucking livid I am.
Vote.
#joe biden#kamala harris#project 2025#so many institutions have their heads so far up their own fucking asses about this
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Listen, friends.
Someone is going to be elected president in November. There are going to be two options. There is no world in which someone who is not Biden or the GOP nominee -- presumably, somehow, Trump -- win the election.
Is Biden my favorite politician? No.
Has he accomplished a ton of good things in the last three years? Absolutely yes.
Pretending otherwise is disingenuous and dangerous.
If you do not vote, you are voting for fascism, full stop. Because you know who always shows up to vote? Your shitty racist neighbors, and the white nationalists trying to stop affirmative action, and the homophobic gun owners who want the party that's made dismantling marriage equality and civil protections for queer people a part of their platform, and religious fundamentalists who believe that women should be the subject of their husbands. They vote in drives, because they don't demand perfection from their candidates, just that they hate the same way they do, and do it loudly.
This left wing thing where people yell about how voting for a candidate that doesn't check every box is a valid political protest is deeply stupid and absolutely wrong. All this accomplishes is to discourage voting and make people stop trying to push for better from our politicians.
Not voting for a candidate that doesn't do everything you want them to is giving a point to the one that wants to bring out loud fascism to the US.
There will be a winner in November, and it's going to be A or B. The system sucks, but it's the one we have, and if we don't vote for the one who is actively working for at least some of the right things, we're going to end up with the one that's working for stripping rights away from the majority of Americans.
Just fucking vote.
#vote#vote blue#us politics#this was more eloquent in my head but whatever I'm so fucking scared and angry#block me babs
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ID for first image: a graph tracking how many people in each age demographic say they will definitely vote, with 47% age 18-29, 62% age 30-44, 82% age 45-64 and 91% 65+. graph was dated september 21-23 2022 and was taken by the CBS news battleground tracker at YouGov. /End ID
text for second image: "both sides are bad" posts are specifically designed to encourage americans not to vote. keeping people from voting is the only way republicans can stay in office. if you don't see the connection, you have a problem.
Saying "voting doesn't matter" might reach your younger peers online but it certainly hasn't reached Clangus Hargbarg who was part of the kkk in 1951 and still sends in his ballot. He hasn't missed a one.
#even just voting locally has such a huge impact#also be so fr#until we dismantle the two party system#a presidential candidate not affiliated with either party is not going to be voted in#also splitting your votes between presidental candidates is a bad idea#anyways ppl telling u not to vote are on that psyop bullshit whether they realize it or not
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Insight today while washing the lettuce and thinking of my friend who doesn't want to vote.
They are an otherwise intelligent, responsible, generous person, who appears to be socially conscious. They have worked hard and long for their position in their profession. They express concern for the planet. They get twitchy if you use too many paper towels.
But they don’t want to vote for Biden for reasons, and quote "doesn't like the whole system where the parties take turns swinging things back and forth" unquote.
I have been dumbstruck at their attitude for about two months now. I've been thrashing back and forth trying to reconcile this person I love with their attitude:
If you care abt the planet enough to conserve paper towels, don’t you care enough to stop a Repub administration from raping the land?
If you don’t like how things can swing back and forth, don't you want an administration that's going to work to shore up, rather than dismantle, more lasting democratic systems of governance?
If you understand the value of the long game, why are you only satisfied with instant results from a single election rather than viewing that election as a single move in an ongoing process?
The insight came to me as I used an extra set of paper towels to dry my lettuce:
These people are not motivated by outcomes. They are motivated by how their choices make them FEEL.
Not how the outcomes of their choices will make them feel. But how the action associated with their choices makes them feel.
In terms of outcomes for the environment, saving paper towels doesn't do shit compared to pushing for restrictions on oil companies. But using half a paper towel is an instant dopamine hit: "Ahhh, I am caring for Mother Earth. I care. I am a good person. Ahh yes that's the stuff."
This model fits for voting too. We know that The Only Votes That Count Are Those Cast. We know that Dems Go Where The Votes Are Not Where The Votes Aren't. We know that voting in every election, every time, in numbers, is a very low-effort way to contribute to moving the Overton window farther left.
But in the moment, for people who are motivated by how their action associated with their choice makes them feel... the absolute best move for their dopamine supply is to abstain: "I am NOT supporting an old fart; I am NOT supporting genocide; I am Challenging The System; I am a good person. Ahh yes, that's the stuff."
At the time, when I challenged my friend on their position, they held up their hands and said "look, I'm not saying I have any answers, I'm just saying I don’t like how the system works."
They didn't like how participating in the system made them FEEL in the moment.
For those of us who think this is madness, hey, we aren't off the hook entirely. We are basing our choices and actions off of outcomes, true. But there's probably a feeling/dopamine component in there too. "I am holding my nose and voting Blue; I am doing my part to actually affect the future even if I hate some things abt my choice; I am a good person. Ahh yes, that's the stuff."
So maybe the difference isn't in the motivation (my feelings and self-image) but in what motivates us (my action vs the outcome of my action).
I don't have an answer to the question at this time and this post is already long enough. But I'll think on it. And I invite you to do so as well:
For these people (who seem to be a sizable part of the population), how to outweigh the choice where their action preserves their self-image, doesn't cost them dopamine for having to take a "bad" action, and maybe even gives them a happy boost for "not being part of a flawed system?"
For these people, how to help them connect more to the outcome?
Off the cuff, I can't think of any means other than cognitive-behavioral therapy. :/
EDIT: Apparently there's a term for this and it's called Emotivism -- ethics isn't abt effects but abt feelings.
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Intelligence Doesn't Equal Morality
Intellect is rooted in ableist systems and stupidity and intelligence are pointless social constructs that don't relate to morals or character.
I try to be a pretty good person, I fight for human rights, I regularly engage in mutual aid, and I care for my community. I try to do the right thing and support causes I care about and make positive changes in the world.
But I also am not very smart. I have several neurodevelopmental disorders, as well as cognitive disabilities. I can’t do simple, basic math, it’s hard for me to remember facts or algorithms, I rely entirely on spellcheck and speech-to-text to write, I failed many classes in high school and I barely passed with a low GPA, I had low pSAT scores and I never took the SATs. I moved around a lot all through school starting in third grade, and I missed a lot of basic fundamentals in learning (like how to do division and multiplication) so when I went to a different school they had already passed it and expected me to know. After my TBI, I could barely read AFTER I was cleared from my “concussion” symptoms because letters and words would flip around and I’d get headaches. Which still happens sometimes.
A lot of people see me as smart because I've learned a lot of academic language and can formulate thoughts into cohesive posts. But I lack a lot of necessary skills and rely on my caretakers to assist me. Things like budgeting and planning are extremely difficult for me. If I need to do simple addition or subtraction, even with a calculator, I quickly get confused and struggle. I forget basic information about myself all the time, let alone other subjects. I'm talking, has to check my ID for my birthday type confused. Doesn't know my name or address or what year it is confused. It happens daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Being able to type out posts like this often takes weeks and many adaptive tools to get there. Focusing is extremely difficult on many fronts, severe chronic pain, ADHD, dissociation, fatigue, migraines, and TBI, are just some of the contributing factors. I struggle daily with many things because of my lack of intellect.
I’m also privileged in the fact that I had some access to education as a homeless youth, that I had some supports in place to help me (towards the end of school), that I was somewhat able-bodied at the time and could walk or bike to and from school when the school system didn’t provide transportation. I was fortunate to have a chance to succeed, and I’m proud that I graduated high school because it was a difficult task for me, and others often aren’t offered that chance or get accommodations. I almost didn’t and I dropped out many times before graduation. I passed on sheer luck and what little privileges I had.
That all being said, me being stupid (reclaiming it here) doesn't make me a bad person. I don't hurt people because I can't do math. I may mess up things or get confused but it doesn't make me want to harm others.
We often (wrongfully) equate morals with intellect. Being ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’, or an ‘idiot’ doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. Plenty of evil, awful, and abusive people are extremely intelligent.
I see this most notably with people advocating for IQ tests to be able to vote. Often from left-leaning people, in hopes it'll make the right (that they view as unintelligent), unable to vote. The reality is, it just hurts some of our most vulnerable members of the community while not actively doing anything to restrict some of the most dangerous members of our community-- those who know what they're doing to harm others and deliberately doing so. My voice matters, and I speak up against injustice and participate in dismantling oppressive systems. Taking away my right to vote won't make the right stop oppressing minorities (which also puts a lot of faith into the two-party voting system, which is a post for another day).
Additionally, legislative measures that discriminate against intellectually disabled people such as IQ tests for voting are also rooted in racism and classism.
Yes, education can be a vital tool when it comes to addressing discrimination and creating safer communities. But the kind of education that is measured with an IQ test (or any test) isn't the same. Building compassion and caring for others can (and should) happen at any IQ level. We can all practice this, we can all participate.
It harms our communities and stagnates our progress when we equate intelligence with high morals.
#disability#chronically couchbound#disabled#disabled pride#disability pride#cripple punk#cripplepunk#intellectual disability#neurodevelopmental disabilities#cognitive disability#brain fog#adhd#audhd#autism#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#actuallyautistic#autistic#neurodivergence#tbi survivor#iq test#voter rights#ableism#chronic pain#dissociation#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative amnesia#amnesiac#IQ score#Low IQ
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what year was gay marriage legalized in the dialtown universe (USA or global if that changes it)
Good question!
During Crown's administration, though there obviously was backlash at the time.
There's some DT lore around the lavender scare in DT's universe (and Crown's effect on it) which hasn't been explicitly stated but implied a few times. EG: at the start the last Crown short story, Milt + Crown are discussing J. Edgar Hoover's assassination at Crown's hands (something Crown had done after Hoover derisively called Milt a slur in private. This ended the FBI's persecution of LGBT people during Crown's administration. Milt knew in his heart and soul what Crown had done, but pretended he believed Crown's assertion that he had nothing to do with it, knowing it was a benefit to the country. With Hoover replaced, the lavender scare ended quicker than in reality.)
Crown actually implemented a ton of lesser known reforms, like ranked choice voting (which dismantled the two party system) among many other things, some requiring constitutional changes. Part of Crown's appeal was that he was specifically a one term president and so, he could act on his conscience without having to worry about alienating voter blocs from re-electing him or hurting his successor's chances. (His endorsement of JFK after his presidency was really something borne out of obligation, not genuine admiration.)
Almost all of these reforms were positive, though there's debate about the legality/ethics of how he got them passed, like a slightly more exaggerated version of FDR in real world history.
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You all wanted another au right? Yeah? No? Hm ok
Idk y/n is a mechanic and buys and trades robot parts and they came across an old discounted pair of bots from an old corporation that went bankrupt a long time ago and they now own them!! Two best friends acquired!! They ran all their systems to make sure they work! The original plan was to dismantle them and sell them for parts but then being sentient kinda ruined that! Moon is a kill kill attack guy and sun is a !! !!!! !!!!! Guy and they are constantly having a fun little party!! Sun is 100% energy until he runs out of battery and collapses while moon is more mellow but more murderous!! Or something idk
#i was watching invader Zim#and#in an episode in the background for like five seconds theres this little sun decoration! it had HUGE eyes and a silly smile#so i drew sun like that#and then all this happened because I like ro think of dumb scenarios#anyway be prepared to never see anything about this ever again#moondrop#security breach moondrop#fnaf security breach#sundrop#maudiemoods art tag#security breach sundrop#maudiemoods fnaf fanart#ararrrrarr
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Fragile Part 4
Remember Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle? Well, that’s you this chapter :]
Generation: Bayverse TMNT
Tmnt x Reader Fanfic
Pronouns: Gender Neutral (except ‘dudette’ and ‘princess’)
Warnings: injury, wholesome, lots of cleaning, not proof read
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
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“You IDIOTS!” A crash resounded in the room as Stockman knocked over a table full of metal tools. “How could you let go the ONE MUTANT that survived all the testing phases!” Another crash as beakers and chemicals were knocked off a table. “I never should have left you FOOLS in charge of guarding the lab. This could set us back months of progress. If we don’t find that girl, Karai will have my head!”
With an angry huff Stockman fell into his dusty office chair and spun over to his computer. He was working on updating all the computer systems there in the old Sacks building. He had joined the Foot in taking up residence there since you had compromised their position at the warehouse laboratory by the docks. They couldn’t risk a raid from the turtles and losing all his research. This location wasn’t the most inconspicuous considering its history, but since the Shredder’s initial defeat at the hands of the turtles and April, the building had been deemed unstable and labeled condemned. Since it was difficult to dismantle such a large skyscraper in the middle of the city, it had been mostly left unoccupied for the past several years. Making it the ideal base for Foot activity.
As he was sorting through old records on the computer, he came across an interesting clip in the archived surveillance videos.
“Hmm…. interesting…. Yes, if I do that- yes…. YES! This will work nicely.” Stockman chuckled darkly to himself as he got up from his chair. Bebop and Rocksteady shared a confused look and shrugged, not understanding the sudden change in the scientist’s mood.
“Uuuuuh, hey boss, so what are we going to do about them?”
“You two aren’t going to do anything. …. yet.” Baxter’s dark chuckle echoed as he disappeared down the hallway.
It has been 2 weeks since you met the turtles.
Initially, April had brought you a duffle bag full of comfy clothes a little bit too big for you, and some essential toiletries. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a hot shower with conditioner and soft sweatpants to put on after. Leo’s bed was warm and clean, Michelangelo cooked you delicious comfort food, and Donatello downloaded all of your favorite movies and shows you had missed. Raph one night had even knit you a cozy cardigan. The boys were all making an effort to make you feel more comfortable. But you couldn’t help but notice the reason.
You were still scared.
Every night you woke to terrible nightmares. And every day you felt like you were still walking on broken glass. Startling at any sudden sound or slightest touch. You noticed how Leo looked at you with pity, and Mikey wore a faltering smile. Donnie kept busy working on tracking the Foot, aside from regularly changing your bandages, and Raph- Raph just tried to keep his distance.
You didn’t blame them. You were a stranger in their home. You were finally in a safe place, but it was like your body was still in survival mode. High strung and anxious. You wanted to do something for them. Anything, to repay them and make yourself feel useful. A distraction.
Master Splinter had on many occasions noticed your stressed and mousy demeanor. He felt the unease in their home and the distance his sons kept with their new ward. Like neither party knew how to find common ground.
One night, he requested you join him in his meditation room for tea. You obliged.
“I sense your unease.” He stated casually.
You hesitated, then nodded. You didn’t know how to respond.
“There is nothing to be ashamed about. For so long, you lived every day, not knowing if it would be your last. You lost your autonomy, your freedom. And yet you escaped all on your own. You are very brave.”
“….Thank you. I just wish I could feel that way. I feel so… scared. Like I’ll wake up back in that lab again and all of this would have been a dream. I… I don’t know what to do with myself.” You fussed with the teacup in your hands.
Splinter reached across the table and offered you his hand as a comfort. You took it gently and sighed.
“It will take time before you begin to feel like yourself again. My boys can be a little… reserved at times. It is not often we get to interact with friendly humans. Trust me when I say, they also wish for your comfort and safety. It just may take some time for them to get used to another presence in our home. In the meantime, perhaps there is something you can do that will make you feel more at home?”
You were surprised by his suggestion. They had already offered their home up to you, you wouldn’t dare ask anything more of them. But maybe…
“….a-actually… there might be something. If I could have your permission of course.”
Splinter smiled at you.
Once your injuries had fully healed, Splinter had called upon April and Casey’s help to assist you. There was some materials you needed of course, and Mikey was let in on the big secret. You felt guilty roping in so many people just to help you feel more comfortable, but there was something you wanted to do for them, as a thank you for taking you in. April seemed ecstatic at the proposition and was eager to bring you the supplies. Casey just seemed confused that this was something you wanted to do of your own free will. And Mikey- well, he was just excited to share a hobby with you.
The cooking part, that is. Not the cleaning.
Ever since you had been brought down to the lair for safe keeping, you had noticed one glaringly obvious thing. This was a man cave in every sense of the word. The lair was terribly dirty. Dust and grime everywhere. The only clean places you noticed were the dojo, Leo’s room, and Master Splinter’s quarters. You understood that they were all living in a sewer, and they had clearly made a bit of an effort to keep it clean. But you were through avoiding sticky spots on the floor and sitting on a dirty couch.
First things first: Donnie’s dirty coffee mug hoard. The purple turtle was currently napping in his room after an all nighter doing surveillance in coordination with the police, so now was the perfect time to clean up his station. You were extremely grateful to April for including a pair of rubber gloves in the bags of cleaning supplies she brought for you. Mikey helped you collect all the mugs and bring them to the sink, where he was in charge of washing them while you cleaned off all of Donnie’s work tables where he tinkered. You were careful not to move any projects, but wiped it clean of all its dust and stains. Then carefully sanitized all his keyboards and mouse, cleaned all of the monitors (yes all of them), and swept away the crumbs on the floor around his chair.
Once that was complete, you moved on to the living room. Leo was currently preoccupied meditating with Master Splinter in the dojo, so no one was around to notice you swoop in and descend on the couch. Thankfully the boys no longer had a couch made of empty pizza boxes, and had upgraded to a large sectional that Casey had found them used for cheap up top. You were certain that the couch covers had never been washed since it was brought down to the sewers. You were doubly certain that the boys probably didn’t even know the cushion covers could be removed and washed. You threw the covers into the washing machine on hot water with a healthy amount of soap. Mikey then helped you move the couch so you could clean the floor underneath, and smashed the cockroach that had scrambled out from underneath. The coffee table was wiped down, the rug was taken to a railing to be hung and the dust beat out by Mikey with his nunchucks, and the floor mopped clean.
Next was the workout room. Raph had just finished his exercise and left for the bathroom to take a shower, so you rushed in and started cleaning off every dusty and grimy sweat covered surface you could find. There was a musky scent of dirt and sweat permeating the room. All the dumbbells had a build up of grime from their sweaty hands using them for so many years. You also made sure to sanitize all of the mats and floors as well. By the time you were finished, Raph was leaving the shower and went to his room. You hid so he wouldn’t notice you as he passed by, unassuming. Then you were left with the big task.
The bathroom.
You were certain if there was a soundtrack playing in the background, dramatic horror music would be playing. You rolled up your sleeves and went in. Toilets, showers, sinks, and the massive bathtub, all scrubbed down with an unholy amount of bleach until every tiled surface shined. By the time you were finished, Mikey had come in to tell you he was ready to start on the kitchen. That was Mikey’s domain.
You were grateful that all the dishes were already clean by the time you entered the kitchen. But Mikey needed your help when it came to the cupboards and fridge.
“Mikey? ….Why do you have 3 year old expired sour cream in the fridge?”
“Huh? Isn’t it supposed to be ‘sour’? It still looks good, doesn’t it?”
“Mikey there is black mold growing in it.”
“Oh, so…. That’s not pepper then.”
By the time you had finished clearing out the fridge and cupboards of everything expired or moldy, you had filled 3 trash bags full of garbage. Mikey helpfully took out the trash while you cleaned and organized the fridge and cupboards, and wiped down all the surfaces. By the time Mikey returned, you were rifling through the brown paper bag April got you full of ingredients and spices you had requested.
“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” Mikey cheerfully greeted you as he rejoined you in the now clean kitchen.
“Well… if I remember the recipe correctly, I want to make the dish my mom always made for me…”
Mikey looked at you surprised for a moment, then excitement overtook him. “Cool! Can I help?”
You perked up at the suggestion. “Will you? I’d,… I’d love that, thank you!” Your expression melted into a warm smile, and Mikey felt his heart skip a beat.
You looked so pretty when you smiled, he thought to himself.
He wanted to see you smile more, just like that.
You both washed your hands and got to work. On the freshly clean kitchen counter, you had Mikey kneed cold butter into flour to make a dough, while you cut vegetables and cooked chicken on the stove. By the time Mikey was ready with the dough, there were 6 pie tins lined up to add the crust. The oven dinged and the base crust went in to brown while you stirred a large pot on the stove. Then you took out the pies and added the filling, and covered the tops with more dough. You were surprised at how large their oven was, but they were 4 giant mutant turtles and a rat. You had no doubt that each of the boys would eat a whole pie themself. The extra 2 were for Splinter, you, April, and Casey, who would be joining everyone later.
Once the oven door closed, Mikey turned up the radio that had been quietly humming tunes in the background as a fun song you hadn’t heard before played through the speakers. (‘Bad idea right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo started playing.) Mikey’s head started bobbing and he grabbed the wooden spoon you had been stirring with and began mouthing the words into it like a microphone. You giggled at his antics as he pointed a green finger at you and beckoned you out into the open of the room. You felt drawn to join him as the pop song got your head bobbing to the beat. You felt a feeling well up in your chest as the chorus started building up. Excitement bubbling until the chorus peaked and your head bobbing turned into jumping around. Before you knew it, you were dancing around the living room with Mikey holding your hands and spinning you around. You lost yourself in the freeing feeling of the stress and anxiety getting washed away by the music. All the cleaning you had done was so stress relieving you were starting to feel like yourself again.
Little did you know, the music had drawn the attention of the other brothers. Leo and Master Splinter came out from their meditation to watch in the doorway, Leo smiled and crossed his arms as he looked at you. Raph came out freshly dressed and looked surprised but shared a look with Leo that made them smirk at you and their little brother’s antics. Then Donnie trudged out and leaned against his door frame and fixed his glasses to make sure he was in fact seeing you correctly.
You were smiling, laughing, and dancing.
“It seems as though we are seeing Miss (y/n) for the first time today.” Mused Splinter, the old rat brushing his beard.
Just then April and Casey walked in, carrying boxes they had brought down from up top.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” April asked putting down her box.
You were happily giggling as Mikey spun you around at the end of the song. April grinned, happily surprised at the scene. Casey walked in behind her and started looking around the lair like he was seeing it for the first time, setting his box down next to April’s. This prompted Leo, Raph, and Donnie to also take a better look around their home. They slowly all walked out into the living space, looking in all directions.
“.... Where did all my coffee cups go…?”
“Hm? Oh! They’re washed and in the cupboard!” You answered cheerily.
“.... Does…. Does the gym smell like oranges?” Raph said, baffled.
“.... Where did all the dust go? ….Does the couch look clean to you?” Leo nudged Donnie to bring his attention to the freshly washed couch covers.
There was a beat of heavy silence as the boys took in the new state of their home, then the timer above the oven dinged and you ran over to put on your oven mitts.
“The food’s ready!” You called out cheerfully.
In the next few minutes, everyone was sitting around the small kitchen table. Each turtle with a full pie in front of them, and large slices cut for Splinter, April, and Casey, and a smaller cut for yourself.
“Damn, what’s this? Smells great!” Casey exclaimed.
“My mom showed me how to make this, it’s chicken pot pie. I hope you like it!” You said a bit shyly now that you had calmed down a bit.
You watched as all the boys and April picked up a spoon and dug in, taking their first bite. There was a chorus of groans of approval as the boys hummed approvingly around their bite.
“Oh my god my mouth is singing!” Mikey exclaimed, trying to shovel the pie into his mouth.
“How did you manage to get this level of flakiness into the crust? Was there any special preparation when kneading the dough?” Donnie questioned. Then Mikey mumbled out around a full mouth, ‘cold butter, dude’ which Donnie had to ask him to repeat when his mouth wasn’t full.
“Wow… I’ve never had anything like this before. Did you make this?” Leo asked. Raph was grunting in approval with each new bite he took, absorbed in his food from across the table.
You blushed and nodded. It didn’t take long for everyone to clean their plates. Casey, Mikey, and Raph all fought for seconds. Master Splinter and April were sharing very pleased looks on their faces, like they were conspiring all along. Once everyone was finished, you stood up and started to collect plates from the table.
“Oooooh no, you did enough cleaning today, let someone else take a turn, shortie.” Raph stood up to stop you.
“I don’t mind, really!” You urged, but you weren’t paying attention to where you were walking and bumped into Mikey who was taking his own plate to the sink.
The plate dropped from his hand in surprise, and faster than anyone could react, your freehand shot out and grabbed the plate. There was a cracking sound and everyone froze to look at you. There you were, balancing 5 large heavy ceramic plates stacked in one hand, while your other hand was holding onto Mikey’s plate that had cracked and fractured in your grip. You were stunned.
“Woah… what just happened?” Mikey broke the silence.
Part 5
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