#discussion about disability
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please can we stop describing bigots as delusional. please. im so fucking tired. someone being sucked into a hate group surrounded by others who believe minorities should be oppressed and encouraging them to believe in conspiracy theories that the rest of the group believes, is fundamentally different from someone having a mental illness that causes delusions.
delusions, by definition, cannot be explained by things like cultural background - such as having a belief constantly reinforced by intentional attempts to rationalize it for the sake of maintaining power over minorities. yes, someone can be both delusional and a bigot, and yes conspiracy theories can feed into delusions, but the two are not fucking synonymous.
i did not spend my teen years convinced that i was being stalked by demons just to hear so many of you people equate my disability with incel behavior and genocidal propaganda. stop reinforcing harmful connotations about mental health struggles.
#ok to rb#mental health advocate#mental health advocacy#mental health awareness#ableism cw#sanism cw#madpunk#neuropunk#actually delusional#actually schizospec#im not gonna interact with the post that prompted this#because i do agree with everything that was said and dont want to sound like im defending the assholes discussed#but i also am still fucking pissed about seeing a bunch of misogynistic jackasses compared to a disability#which has caused me immense fear and suffering#and guess what! my delusions were never ''women shouldnt have rights'' or whatever else#bc thats not a delusion thats a tool of the partriarchy to maintain the status quo#genocide cw#to be safe
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Mandragora Arknights good ending
She got got better as a person and also physically :)
#I don't remember exactly what discussion led to this#but the discussion ended with us concluding that Mandragora would be fixed if she had a beer a blunt and some time to chill#And therapy#Also wanted to give her a cane :3 I feel like she might have some sort of disability after... That#To those wondering about the poll: I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN!#it's just been a busy month so I'm posting backlog and doing smaller pieces and finishing comms#Weedknights#Weedknights Piece 1/?#Featuring Modelo#Arknights#Pixel art#Mandragora#pixel#digital art#artists on tumblr#art
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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Me watching a Wicked bootleg and remembering the bit where they use Nessa's character to speedrun through every offensive trope and stereotype about disabled people:
#wicked#nessa rose is like.#the shows writers looked up a list of 'offensive tropes related to disability'#and were like 'that sounds like a great idea for a character'#I keep seeing people praise the Wicked movie and also that they've been changing up nessa's character....#is her plotline done less poorly in the movie?#Im hoping they make massive changes to the second act#but the first act is still a bit funky as well#ive noticed theres not a lot of discussion about movie Nessa#and im wondering whether they make any efforts to undo some of the wildly Oof stuff from the musical
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Hey, discussion question:
Is Rose Quartz a war criminal? I see that term bandied around so much for her that it feels like a given that she's a war criminal, but I'm wracking my brain and I can't... actually recall any real war crimes that she committed.
I'm talking objective war crimes, by the way, not war crimes by Homeworld's (the fascist government's) standards. It's literally legal for the Diamonds to shatter (split a person's soul into shards of ceaseless torture) their citizens, I don't value their definition of morality, lol.
#ask you#personal#delete later#saying this cuz a tweet of mine about steven and rose blew up on twt#and a few people are discussing their relationship and pointing out “well he found out she's a war criminal” and i'm like “is she tho..?”#reminder that she never shattered anyone. she never did.#and poofing is not killing or even injuring gems. it's more like temporarily disabling them. basically knocking them out#and her poofing bismuth could be considered psychological but it wasn't an action made during warfare it was a personal dispute
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hey btw everyone- people with mental disabilities can and, very often do, experience sexual attraction, get horny, have kinks/fetishes/paraphilias, masturbate, have sex, etc. this includes people with intellectual disabilities and/or any kind of developmental disabilities.
please stop acting like mentally disabled people Never have Any sexual wants/needs when that is so unbelievably untrue that by saying that, youre just admitting that you have obviously never interacted with more than a handful of mentally disabled people, if any at all.
i see it all the time (particularly irl when i talk about my job) where people will try to say that mentally disabled people cant have sex because they're basically children or because they dont understand it or because they cant make their own choices or it would always be coercion or they never ever want it themselves and that just isnt fucking true????
mentally disabled people can make their own choices, they know what feels good to them and what doesnt, they understand when they want to do something and when they don't. mentally disabled adults are not "like children". mentally disabled people are capable of being sexual. sure, some mentally disabled ppl are asexual, just like some able minded people are asexual. because mentally disabled people are human beings, just like everyone else
#fungal spores#this was inspired by some of my coworkers & i privately discussing the various different kinks/fetishes of some of our clients#and it got brought up how so many people genuinely believe that disabled people are all universally asexual/sex repulsed#and we were just laughing about it bc its literally Visibly untrue#disabled#actually disabled#mentally disabled#mental disability#intellectual disability#developmental disability#autism#actually autistic
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this may be controversial but it has been stewing in my brain for literal years, but required cannibalism (cant survive without eating flesh of the self) is much more interesting as a disability metaphor than a sexuality metaphor
#this delicious death#tokyo ghoul#sister maiden monster#(im not done with sister maiden monster yet)#good post good post#when i watched tokyo ghoul for the first time i immediately became obsessed because i too am overwhelmingly concerned#about the amount of human i am eating#cannibalism for FUN for pleasure i would say is interesting as a sexuality discussion#but when a story is structured around a group of people who NEED to eat humans to survive. who cannot LIVE without it#im arguing that disability discussion is more interesting and has more of an emotional impact#oh i almost forgot to say this does absolutely go for vampires too#how to bite your neighbor and win a wager#the coldest girl in coldtown
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one of the things i'm most disappointed in HoO with is how the series sets up a really beautiful continuity to the first series but now extending from a primary focus on disability to a wider focus on intersectionality (which in itself is a REALLY fascinating place to discuss particularly Percy's character and the overlap between his experiences as a disabled student and how many readers interpret his experiences as him experiencing racial bigotry in part due to his racial ambiguity and how those experiences have overlap and what does that look like for specifically a disabled student of color, etc etc) - like, there is so much set-up for so many things: we have the introduction of a bunch of new major characters, the majority of whom are explicitly not white. We have set-up for queer intersectionality topics (Nico, Jason's bi-coding, Piper being mspec as well eventually). We have set-up for gender intersectionality (all of the girls and the intersection of their disabilities and gender and for everyone other than Annabeth also the intersectionality of gender and race). We even have other forms of disability than just the primary focus of ADHD/dyslexia coming to the table with stuff like Frank having dyspraxia coding, Frank and Hazel both having childhood terminal illness survivor coding, Hazel having seizure coding, Leo having autism coding and Nico's autism coding making a comeback, Percy's book 1 PTSD even gets some references in Son of Neptune, Leo and Nico's depression get big spotlights, also Nico's general grappling with becoming weaker and new physical disability. Heck you could even dive into Jason grappling with gifted kid syndrome and how that plays into his experience with ADHD/dyslexia versus someone like Percy whose same learning disabilities present differently. There's so much set up right at the beginning of the series to dive into...!
...and then Rick does literally nothing with any of that. and it sucks. and then in TOA he does even less with it and just drops nearly all of the disability stuff in general which sucks even MORE. Also it's all made even worse by dropping or magicing-away the existing disability coding because Rick changed his mind about it (Frank's dyspraxia and Hazel's fainting episodes going away, etc etc)
Like, TKC emphasized the themes about how the Kane Siblings grapple with colorism a lot! MCGA talks about queer topics and disability and how those intersect with homelessness! The entire first series has SUCH in-depth metaphors about disability! But HoO and TOA just totally drop the ball about it and don't even try! The most TOA ever gives is the world's blandest directly-spoken-to-the-audience one sentence blurb and pretends that qualifies as representation and that they've fulfilled their quota. TSATS is even worse about the disability erasure and speaking directly to the screen and calling that representation, not to mention how little the TV show erased the majority of references to disability from TLT alongside Percy's PTSD and made Sally an autism speaks mom while they were at it. And while I haven't read it yet I hear CoTG is equally not great about how it handles Percy's disabilities (or Annabeth's).
HoO could have given us so much but it didn't and i will never forgive it for that 😔 also the fandom could stand to talk more about intersectionality cause it's a really interesting topic and there's so much opportunity to explore it in the Riordanverse that does not get nearly enough discussion.
#pjo#riordanverse#hoo#heroes of olympus#rr crit#disability#I WANNA TALK ABOUT PJO INTERSECTIONALITYYYYYY#pretty pretty please can we have a discussion about Percy's adhd and racial ambiguity and how that relates to intersectionality#long post //#sorry disability in the series just seems to be the ramble topic of the day#i went on ANOTHER rant on discord this afternoon about this too#if i ever dont talk about disability in pjo presume i have lost the ability to type and/or speak
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No bc Warrior Cats genuinely couldve done something with Starclan and generational trauma and romanticising "old times" and the warrior code because Starclan arent deities theyre just dead people but instead we get another 6 books of Will They/Wont They with a TigerStar clone
#Warrior Cats posting on a saturday afternoon#To clarify i havent read anything past PO3 but i do follow most of the plots n discussions n stuff bc i think its fun#Ive only read The first 3 arcs + Firestar's quest + Tallstar's Revenge <3#also crookedstars promise but i have no memory of anything that happened in it#i read the first like half of the first book of oots and just COULDNT get through it#BUT ANYWAY. THEY SET UP SO MANY THINGS#AND THEY COULD ADDRESS THE SEXISM (although thats a problem with the authors not just the characters) AND THE CONSTANT ABLISM OF SHOVING-#ALL THE DISABLED CHARACTERS INTO THE MEDICINE DEN#We all like Jayfeather. But did he need to be a medicine cat#and if the answer is yes. Did Cinderpelt also need to be a medicine cat#And idk whats going on with Briarlight but my understanding is she just stays in the medden???#YEAH#and they couldve talked about Skyclan too#Beverly says stuff#warrior cats#warriors
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activism 101: you need to prioritize support and love towards minorities rather than outrage towards their oppressors because eventually you will come to a point where you’re just swinging blindly and putting minorities in danger. for example: arguing publicly with a terf and making their hate more visible will not sway their opinion or help anybody really, but offering love and support to the transfems in your life WILL make a positive change and that’s what you should focused on
#how are we still figuring this out#could get into an entire discussion about how bad this is in disabled communities both on and offline
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trying not to start an online fight in a comically inappropriate venue, but people also have some genuinely concerning misconceptions about this, so: if someone tells you that they can't go vegan because of dietary restrictions, you do not know more than they do about those restrictions in question. and they are under no obligation to share personal medical details in order to prove that you are wrong.
moreover, a world in which anyone has to "prove" their need for dietary accommodations to any authority — to say nothing of being denied them a priori because of a refusal to engage with even small scale, ethical animal husbandry — is enacting ableist violence on our bodies. personally, I want nothing more than for for-profit animal agriculture to burn with the rest of capitalism — but you have to understand that telling people like me to "just stop being selfish and stop eating animals" can only be translated as either "only eat things that make you violently ill," or "stop eating even the minimum amount of protein that a human can survive off of."
if you have an impulse to accuse me of overreacting, consider that the refusal of actual medical institutions to take legume and grain allergies seriously has caused me bodily harm throughout my life and to this day — with consequences for my overall lifespan that have yet to be revealed. I am not overreacting.
#as always i feel the need to say that to the vegans who Aren't Like This (especially the disabled vegans)#i'm so fucking sorry for putting this on your dashes because i know you all deal with so much unwarranted shit#wholeheartedly i think veganism is one of the most amazing individual choices a person can make#it's just. the things that *certain people* will say to me about it.#ableism#allergyposting#i JUST made a dietary restriction positivity post where i expressed my sympathies to people dealing with this bullshit#and within 24 hours i was subjected to the bullshit myself. sad#this is why i can't just engage in discussions about food ethics#because a vocal minority of people just refuse to listen#or to envision a future that doesn't just replicate modern-day ableism and food injustice in an environmentally friendly guise
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seeing disability awareness posts end with “TLDR; no, read it” is fucking WILD
#queerpd.txt#it was about schizophrenia as well#and erm…#👋 has hallucinations that make my digital screens morph and change which makes them hard to read at time#especially big blocks of text… sooo?#schizophrenia#actually delusional#hallucinations#disability#disabled#abliesm#but like yeah there are a lot of disabilities that can make it difficult or even impossible to read large amounts of text#and so tldrs can be REALLY helpful for those people who still want to get the important information in something#bc just cause we struggle to read doesn’t mean we don’t deserve education and information#so it’s just wild to me. to act like someone’s evil. for wanting to check a tldr#like you can just not include it if you really don’t want to write it. you don’t have to also be an asshole#+ it’s helpful for those of us who struggle to process every detail in things#a lot of the time i will read a whole post AND the tldr bc it helps me understand exactly what is being discussed better
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and this is also why i think that any meaningful community building/advocacy/support around madness/neurodivergence/mental illness needs to be founded on principles of liberation and abolition, and that we need to be able to distinguish between people who are allies based on our shared values + goals, and between people who use some of the same language as us, but are fundamentally advocating for separate things.
One example I see a lot of is the idea of "lived experience" professionals, people who have a career in the mental health system and who also have some personal experience with mental illness. These professionals oftentimes will talk about their own negative experiences in the mental health system, and come into their careers with a genuine desire to improve the experience of patients. But their impact is incredibly limited by the system they have chosen to work in: the coercive elements of psychiatry incentivize professionals to buy into the existing power structures instead of disrupting them. And as a whole, many lived experience professionals end up getting exploited and tokenized by their employers and used as an attempt to make carceral psychiatry seem more palatable. Professionals in this dynamic are not working to effectively challenge the structural violence of their profession: they become complicit, even if they do also have good intentions and provide individual support.
(I do know some radical providers who have found innovative ways to fuck up the system and destabilize and shift power in their workplaces, but this is a very small number of providers and is not most of the lived experience providers I've talked with.)
Another example I see a lot in our spaces has to do with the evolution of the neurodiversity paradigm. I feel a very deep connection to the original conceptualization of neurodiversity and neurodivergent as coined by Kassiane Asasumasu, but in recent years I've seen a lot of people using neurodivergent language in a way that feels pretty dramatically different than the foundational principles. This isn't saying that people should stop using ND terminology or that all neurodivergent spaces are like this--rather, I just want to point out some trends I see in certain communities, both online and in my in personal life. Although people will often use neurodivergent language and on the surface, seem allied with concepts of deinstitutionalization, acceptance, etc, the values and structure in these community spaces often rely heavily on ideas of classification based in DSM, and build very prescriptive and rigid models for categorizing different types of neurodivergence in a way that ends up excluding some M/MI/ND people. Certain types of knowledge are valued over other types of knowledge, and certain diagnoses are prioritized as worthy of support over others. There's a lot of value placed on identifying and classifying many types of behaviors, beliefs, thoughts, actions, into specific categories, and a lack of solidarity between different diagnoses or the wider disability community.
Again, this isn't to say that ND terminology is bad or useless--I think it is an incredibly helpful explanatory model/shorthand for finding community and will call myself neurodivergent, and find a lot of value in community identification and sharing of wisdom. I just feel like it's important to realize that not every ND person, organization, or initiative, is actually invested in the project of fighting for our liberation.
when thinking about our activism, as abolitionists, it's important to be very specific about what our goals, values, and tactics are. For example, understanding the concept of non-reformist reforms helps us distinguish what immediate goals are useful, versus what reforms work to increase the carceral power of the psychiatric system. And when building our own value systems and trying to build alternative ways of caring for ourselves and our communities, we need to be able to evaluate what brings us closer to autonomy, freedom, and interdependence. I need people to understand that just because someone is also against psych hospitalization does not mean that they are also allies in the project of letting mad people live free, authentic, meaningful, and supported lives, and that oftentimes people's allyship is conditional on our willingness to conform to their ideas of a "good" mentally ill person.
#personal#psych abolition#mad liberation#surviving psych#antipsych#neurodivergent#also to be clear i'm not saying any of this as a way to say some people are more or less disabled than others#or that becoming a provider makes you no longer neurodivergent or something#but rather this is discussion of activism + strategy + goals + tactics#not a commentary on "who counts as disabled or who deserves support#this is talking about: how do we build the type of world where mad people are liberated and how can we tell who is also working towards tha
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I just think we as a society don’t talk enough about Geordi.
#tng#geordi laforge#geordi la forge#he’s just such a good character and I wish they had done more with him#so many episodes we could’ve had discussing disability GRRRR#he’s just so interesting and they HARDLY tapped into his character#WHAT ABOUT THE BEING IN A FIRE#WHAT WAS SCHOOL LIKE FOR HIM?#WE COULDVE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE FOLLOWING HIS DAY TO DAY TASKS LIKE DATAS DAY EXCEPT WE JUST SEE HOW HE INTERACTS WITH THE SHIP
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#tmbd#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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aro culture is celebrating, uplifting the voices of, and practicing advocacy with the disabled people in our lives this disability pride month.
#aro culture is#aro#aromantic#actually aro#actually aromantic#ask#mod phoenix#disability pride month#also a book recommendation for y'all: Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education by Jay Timothy Dolmage#it's somewhat USAmerican and Euro-centric due to... y'know... the general structure of Higher Education worldwide#but it's got a very informative and frank discussion right off the bat about eugenics and the very recent history of incredibly terrible#ableism in the last century that was only rejected in word and sorta in spirit when eugenics became a core ideological facet of nazis#highly recommend that if you live in an area where you have access to a library / library system#that you check if they have access to it - and if they don't: request it! - and read even the first two chapters
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