#didn't realise it would come to this

[nastasya--filippovna]

Hey Everybody!

Taking into account the recent developments regarding the "block-spree" against my side blog @thegeorgiatennantblog I have decided to discontinue the blog. That is to say I won't be posting anymore although I can't find it in my heart to delete it. I really didn't want to do this but its kinda obvious at the moment that there's no point in running a blog that's blocked by half of Tumblr. Because I'm not talking about tinhatter blogs. I wear their blocks like a pride pin. I'm talking about pro-Georgia or anti-shipper blogs. It's their "blocks" that I don't understand. And it hurts too.

I tried everything on my part to mitigate the damage. I cut off the toxicity by deleting any creepy anons I received and going for a "no-reply" policy for such asks. And I once again apologize all those that may have been hurt by my blog's actions (notwithstanding that they were unintentional).

It was good while it lasted. I got to meet so many whimsical, sweet people, got to share absolute awesomeness, peak gorgeousness and unhinged feralness. And I want to thank all those that supported me when I started it and gave my blog so much love everyday.

So hats off to:

@abiiii-ineffable @literatemisfit @reloha @do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas @ivankaramazov07

@dtmsrpfcringe @sakuranova07 @davidtennantgenderenvy @lemonycheesecakes @ineffable-ezra

@princeloww @mystic-mae @thatdelusionalnerd @doolittleandco @maddyjones2

@mcbash @ineffablequeermoony and all my other followers! I love y'all! NGL I'll miss this.

Meena. x

[vaxxman]

Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?

Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.

I hope this is the right meme.

More silliness below.

This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.

The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.

You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.

Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.

I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.

Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.

Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.

Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.

The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.

One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.

They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.

You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!

[nenoname]

stan twins the canon cptsd brothers i will always think about all your unaddressed issues that would make perfect plot fuel for your spinoff

and also the whole 'stan getting that poem by bill via a website which contrasts with bill getting one from the axolotl via a website' foreshadowing thing

like idk i would love something like su future but like more optimistic, aka not an accumulated breakdown that has to be mostly resolved off screen at the end :/// but something thats being kinda addressed throughout? (although would love to see one of them turn into a monster thats always fun lol)

stan having severe issues from his dad and those years of being homeless that we keep on getting more info on but never really getting confronted on (the drifter catalogue and tijuana incident...), him being completely alone for like twenty years when running the shack before soos comes along to the point that 1998 is noted as his low point, and him not really learning about bill+what he did to ford until ages after he killed him if he ever did get the full context

while i think amnesia and everyone seeing him as a hero actually helped with stan's 'i'm a worse version of my brother' thing its still a lingering issue too and we now got him being insecure over his own hands

ford being immediately thrown from 'being tortured by bill' to 'being stuck in the multiverse and being chased by bounty hunters constantly', him fully expecting himself to die when destroying bill, and him only now being safe for the first time in 30 years ....relatively safe, he's still in constant danger because of course he is

idk in the end the series wants them to be happy and they deserve it, its why i wasn't too worried about the book being like 'ooh bill is back!! and the book is haunting ford' thing cos i knew they'll be ok

[thepersialionheart]

My first and (probably) only headcanon for haikyuu is that no one can tell if Kageyama and Hinata are dating or not.

This is something which has most likely been said before but I still want to add onto it.

Are they Flirting or fighting? No one knows. There have definitely been fists involved and one time Ennoshita may have hallucinated when he heard Kageyama whisper that he was going to have his way with Hinata once they were alone. Maybe it just meant that they were going to fight more, that Kageyama was furious with Hinata and wanted to give him a piece of his mind, so the team were now all on watch duty until the end of the day, always making sure Hinata and Kageyama were never alone.

At the end of the day, before anyone could say anything, the two bolted out of the door and ran off without more than a quick "bye".

(They ignored the frustrated glares both Kageyama and Hinata gave them during the day. They definitely ignored the suspiciously placed bruises on each of their necks the next day. They must have fought a bit too much.)

A bet has been going round the Volleyball teams about whether or not they are together. A bet which Yachi and Kiyoko started amongst the Karasuno players and then the managers of other teams. Except, the players of their teams caught onto it and it has been going strong, even after Hinata went to Brazil. Especially after the Adlers vs Jackals match where most people decided against it.

(It is suspected that Yachi actually knows whether or not they are dating, but no one has gotten her to crack just yet. From the way she smirks whenever someone asks, no one will anytime soon.)

Oikawa is firmly against it, not because he doesn't believe they could ever be together, but because they are both idiots who don't know anything more than volleyball (and each other). Some agree with him.

Kenma is one of the ones who have put his money (and a lot of it) on them being together. There is too much chemistry between the two idiots that even they couldn't ignore.

There's another bet amongst the ones who bet for them being together. When they got together. Kenma says since the end of first year. He seems to know something the orhers don't know. Bokuto likes to think that they confessed just before Hinata went to Brazil and became long distance star crossed lovers. (Akaashi told him to stop being stupid (and then bet alongside Kenma)).

Surprisingly Tsukki is the one to bet on them being together since after the first training camp.

Yachi stayed out of this one. (She knew. She definitely knew.)

Yet even when Hinata and Kageyama become aware of the bets (actually they have been aware of them for years but they won't mention that just yet) they just shrug their shoulders and tells whoever is asking, "We're partners. Even when we're not on the same team."

Oikawa decided to shift his money to the other side, betting that they got together after the Adlers vs Jackals match.

But it was still unclear.

Even when Kageyama and Hinata moved in together, when people stayed over they thought it was just courtesy that one of them would give up their room and bunk with the other. Even when they touched or fought playfully, the others couldn't tell if that was actual affection or just Kageyama and Hinata being Kageyama and Hinata.

It took winning an olympic gold medal together for the truth to finally come out. After the Japan team won, everyone was on a high. In the heat of the moment, Hinata and Kageyama drew each other in for a bone crushing hug, whispering sweet nothings to each other as tears of joy spilt out of both of their eyes.

Their foreheads touched. Suddenly, it was like the entire court was quiet. It wasn't long before lips met and cheers erupted around them.

In an interview later, the both of them would be asked about their relationship.

"We've always been partners. We just thought it was time the rest of the world knew."

The only problem now was, when asked about when or how they got together, both Kageyama and Hinata would be vague. Perhaps they would mention a detail about how they confessed to each other. Yet, no one could tell when exactly it happened.

What they did let people know was that Oikawa was most definitely wrong about his guess and he could go suck it for thinking they were idiots who would take so long to realise their feelings for each other.

[adhd-merlin]

colin... colin morgan... where are you

[piromina]

huge props to marinette for spinning up that lie so fast and on the spot, too. I thought I was good but damn. of course she must have had a general idea of what she was going to say to adrien beforehand going off of gabriel's "make me look good" and her own love telling her that the truth would hurt adrien even more, but that's just a very vague idea. she could not have possibly spun up that entire story of a lie in her head beforehand with all that was going on - dealing with all the truths coming in one after the other, the crying, the emotional trauma, getting the kwamis back -

and of course, there's adrien. he is one of the highest things on her list of priorities, his safety being the first thing she needs to take care of. the problem is, she doesn't know how. the only thing she can do in that situation is lie. a small lie. just one to make it better for now and then she can make it a long-term lie later. make sure no one else finds out.

and once she started telling the lie, once the first words were out of the mouth, it was all improvisation. her next words showed up in her head as she was going, spinning up a believable story, just good enough to be taken as the truth. she rambled - a rookie mistake for liars - but you couldn't blame her. she's a professional liar, almost, with her superhero identity, but this one is different. just one hour after learning the truth she had to cover up all this with no warning beforehand.

she couldn't tell adrien the truth. but she couldn't do much to comfort him either. ladybug couldn't tell him something only marinette knows.

she had to lie. she had to come up with something on the spot. those words would haunt her for the rest of her life - that lie was all she could think about for the next couple of months because she had to make it work. she had to keep the truth and make everything work out. it wasn't a big deal. she just had to tell adrien something, anything that would comfort him! what would comfort him about his father? what would convince him that he was a good guy this whole time? that he was a, a, a hero! yes, she would tell him that. it was a white lie! she wasn't a bad person! she just had to tell adrien that his father was a hero so that he would never have to know the truth and suffer like she did. he was a hero.

was.

once that word came out of her mouth, there was no going back.

[johnsspacesuittight]

OOOOO Spike being in love with Buffy is fucking incredible, it's beautiful it's-

[fun-k-boards]

Whenever people fail to understand that what we as an audience know is sometimes entirely different from what the characters know I get genuinely heated I need to put the phone down and just breathe in a serene forest or something because otherwise my blood pressure would get to a dangerous level

[fluentisonus]

the bastard himself

[amethystina]

i still like your idea of the fanfic where, soohyun gets injured but doesn't die, and the rest is canon but gaon doesn't know yohan is alive... You put it in one of the chapters note (i forgot which chapter) i am a sucker for angst and i like to give myself sadness lol... I can imagine how broken and angst ridden gaon would be. It would be a devastating sight but also delicious.

It is a fascinating thought! But, admittedly, also the idea I'm the least likely to write out of all the ones I've come up with — for the very same reason why you like it x'D

I'm really not a fan of angst and sadness and, sometimes, I can look at a story idea and realise that it wouldn't be fun for me to write. And this one is, unfortunately, one of those. Because it would focus so much on Ga On's grief and his failing relationship with Soo Hyun and I just... don't want to write that?

Sure, it would be fascinating, but also way too depressing for me. Partly because I don't see an easy solution. Like, even if Ga On eventually finds out that Yo Han is alive, just how bad would he feel? How bad would they both feel? And just how much more pain and anguish would they have to wade through? Would they even be willing to try?

Basically, now that I've had time to think about it further, I've realised that it just doesn't work. The math isn't mathing in this scenario, at least not for a fic written in my fairly realistic and down-to-earth style.

Because it would, quite frankly, be easier for them to just cut their losses and continue living their separate lives. I think the hurt would be too much for either of them to come to terms with and reconcile. So, on top of being a very depressing story overall, it wouldn't have a happy ending, either. Which means it immediately gets disqualified because I only want happy endings xD

I wouldn't be able to give it a happy ending with a clear conscience because, sure, we all know Yo Han is a vicious asshole and Ga On is good at forgiving him. But this?

Faking his own death for months, maybe years, and not telling Ga On about it, instead leaving him to grieve — on top of all the guilt he's already feeling? And for what? Because Yo Han was hurt? Because he was jealous of Soo Hyun? Because he wanted to punish Ga On?

Well, Yo Han would certainly achieve that.

Ga On would be an absolute wreck.

And, to be entirely honest with you, I think Ga On would be too broken after spending only god knows how long thinking Yo Han is dead because of him. Because, let's face it — that's what Ga On would believe.

I wouldn't know how to fix that. I don't want to fix it because if Yo Han truly did all that to Ga On — something so vindictive and cruel — I'd side with Soo Hyun and say that it's probably best for the two of them to stay apart. Because, clearly, they're going to destroy each other eventually. Especially since Ga On would most likely become suicidal again. And Yo Han must have predicted that might happen but still chose not to tell Ga On about being alive.

And, sure, I understand being hurt and angry — Yo Han has no obligation to forgive Ga On for the things he did. But to intentionally choose to put another person — someone you care about — in a situation where you know they might end up wanting to take their own life? Just to get revenge?

Unforgivable, in my opinion.

But that leads us to the part where we also have to ask if Yo Han truly would do that and, personally, I don't think so. Maybe that's me giving Yo Han too much grace, but I really don't think he'd be that cruel considering how much he cares about Ga On. Maybe he wants Ga On to suffer a bit, sure, but not die.

So, in the end, the whole thing is a bit of a moot point x'D

The scenario doesn't work with how I choose to interpret these characters.

I think a more likely outcome if Soo Hyun doesn't die is that Yo Han would still do all the things he does in the drama, including telling Ga On that he's alive, but then go radio silent. Like, go to Switzerland and just focus on himself and Elijah. But do it more firmly than in Who Holds the Devil when he always had plans to return. Here he wouldn't.

Which is painful, too, but not quite as bad as "I'm knowingly letting you think you had a hand in killing me." And Ga On would still wallow and he'd still realise that his relationship with Soo Hyun isn't what he thought it would be, but without the looming threat of Ga On's (in my opinion) likely suicide. They might actually be able to reconcile eventually.

But, even then, I'm not sure if this is a story I would want to write. At least not right now when I'm already struggling with both my physical and mental well-being. It just wouldn't be healthy for me and, most likely, not something I'd enjoy. Some people get a feeling of release and catharsis from writing about difficult things, but I'm not one of them. I just end up feeling worse because I have to immerse myself in the misery to a point where I just sink even deeper into it.

So while I agree that this is an interesting and quite dramatic scenario, I've realised it's just not for me. In more ways than one xD

But if someone else wants to write it, then go for it! :D

[department-of-landing-strategies]

So initially this was supposed to happen after I did pre-canon stuff for at least Marcus and Audrey but I have more motivation right now to do this so now presenting Pre-Canon (and touching on a bit of canon and post canon) headcanons for Percy Weasley:

Despite what others thought, Percy was the second parent to the family and not Bill. When Molly lost her brothers, she ended up in a state where she only managed consistently to be able to cook dinner. Percy decided to take the parenting responsibility on himself, which Bill was thankful for, partly to try and avoid processing the loss of his uncles. Since he couldn't really do much in terms of cooking, Percy enlisted Charlie to help make food. A system got formed that involved Percy parenting his younger siblings that stayed even after Molly got more involved and Charlie left for Hogwarts. The system only got thrown out the window and into a pit of fire when Percy left for Hogwarts.

Percy saw his Uncle Fabion and Uncle Gideon as father figures more than he saw Arthur as a father figure. This happened because Percy was around his uncles more than his father during the war, which left parenting Percy to Fabion and Gideon more often than not. After the war, Arthur tried to parent Percy, but Percy refused to let it happen partly because he saw it as Arthur trying to take over Fabion's and Gideon's jobs. Arthur gave up trying to parent Percy, and their bond never really developed much even as Percy got older.

Despite looking up to both Bill and Charlie, Percy was always closer with Charlie. Besides Charlie helping Percy parent their younger siblings, both found each other the best to listen to each others rambles. As a result, Charlie knows a lot of magical laws and Percy knows a lot about a lot of magical creatures.

Percy looked like a mini male version of Molly with some of Arthur's attributes. As a result, Percy looked really similar to Fabion and Gideon. After the first wizarding war, it Molly a while to be able to look at Percy because half of the time when she looked at Percy she would see one of her brothers.

Percy's accidental magic was illusion and apperation based. Whenever Percy would read a book to one of his younger siblings, there was a chance that an illusion would encompass the room and change depending on what the part of the book Percy was currently reading was describing. As for Percy's accidental apparitions, when the Burrow would get too loud, Percy would usually apparate to the roof of the Burrow. If the rest of his siblings were playing Quidditch when it happened, however, Percy would apperate to Muriel's house because her house was always quieter than the Burrow was when Quidditch was involved. With gaining a wand, the illusions were harder to stop than the apperations.

Percy has an attachment to stuffed animals. It started with a black dragon plushie he named Nyx that ended up being one of the last things Fabion and Gideon gave him. Throughout his time at Hogwarts, mostly during the first four years, the most common gift Penny, Oliver, Audrey, and Marcus got Percy was some sort of plushie, which led to Percy gaining a collection of something he had almost all positive memories towards. Percy gained a Gryffindor coloured dragon plushie to add to the collection from the twins after the war as a gift meant to try and start to make amends.

Percy and the twins got along better than they did in canon before any of them went to Hogwarts. The twins jealously of several of their siblings that weren't Percy (mostly Ron) for taking Percy's attention from them meant it always had some cracks. It only started to get bad the summer after Percy's first year, and the twins started to aim their pranks at Percy to try and keep Percy's nkw more limited attention in them

Percy didn't initially want to go into a job at the MoM. If you asked what job Percy wanted to do before Percy's third year, you'd get an answer along the lines of a creative job or a job that involves divination.

Percy used to do art. His best part of the process was the sketch and the line art. That's not to say he was bad at colour. It's just that he was more experienced with sketches than full coloured pieces. He decided to hide his supplies after Molly, either accidentally or on purpose, burned some sketches. Percy stopped after Charlie accidentally caused a fire in his room that took most of Percy's art supplies and some of Charlie's school stuff. He only got back into it after the war aince it helped work through some feelings

Percy was the only one who got told in person about Charlie going to Romania. Charlie's plan was to explain that he was going to Romania and then apologise for destroying Percy's supplies. Percy lashed out and stormed off from the conversation before Charlie could apologise. As a result, Charlie decided to explain the Romania bit through a letter (rip Bill's mail that month) and apologise for the fire to Percy in a separate letter.

When Bill left, Percy was the one that sent him letters. Initially, it started as two letters a month, which capped at a side of parchment. After the twins showed up to Hogwarts, it became once a month letters that occasionally needed a second sheet of parchment. The letters turned to only happening in extreme cases of concern or in case of celebatory news when Ron started Hogwarts before being cut entirely after the fight with Arthur.

Percy can see thestrals thanks to Fabion and Gideon. He had a breakdown about it when he and Oliver got in their dorms that night. The breakdown was fuelled by every emotion that Percy bottled up since the Weasleys lost Fabion and Gideon.

[iffeelscouldkill]

Lost in a Familiar Place pt. 6

(Aka the ‘Nicholas never applied to Kings Row’ AU)

A/N: This is the second-to-last instalment of this fic! So the next update will be the final one, although it's shaping up to be twice as long as the other chapters, so... it'll be like a double chapter. But I'll post it as one thing xD

In which Nicholas spends time with Eugene and Bobby, and Harvard works some things out.

Previous chapters: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

“So you were there because Harvard just invited you to watch practice on the spot,” Eugene summarised, as Bobby sipped his smoothie and listened wide-eyed. When Bobby had said ‘get smoothies’, Nicholas had assumed they were going into town – but Kings Row students weren’t allowed off-campus during term-time without special permission.

Instead, they were at a little shop on campus with tables outside that sold “healthy” smoothies. Bobby described them as “not too bad”; Nicholas took one mouthful and didn’t know what to think. Maybe they were an acquired taste.

“And then,” Eugene continued, “you mouthed off at Seiji Katayama-”

“Not mouthed off,” Nicholas objected, laughing. “I was just saying that I saw-”

“-holes in his defence, yeah; I’m pretty sure that counts as mouthing off to someone like Seiji,” Eugene said. “You did that, and then Coach Williams was like, ‘Hey, why not let this random guy borrow some gear and join in?’”

Nicholas grinned and shrugged. “It sounds weird, I know, but I guess she knew me from Regionals? She saw my match against Kyle.” He grimaced and played with his straw. “Not the greatest show of my skills, but I’m getting better all the time.”

“I can’t believe this all happened because you hooked up with Aiden,” Bobby exclaimed, sounding thrilled and a little scandalised. “What was that like, by the way? I’ve always wondered. Is he a good kisser?”

“Uh,” Nicholas thought about it. “Yeah, not bad.” He shrugged one shoulder. “So – does Seiji not hang out with you guys after practice?”

He caught Bobby and Eugene trading a brief look of amusement, although he didn’t know exactly why.

“He’s pretty closed-off,” Bobby said. “We have invited him, but – he’s so driven. It doesn’t seem like he has much time for anything social.” He smiled, apparently wowed by idea of being so dedicated to fencing that it was all you ever did. “Eugene has talked to him, haven’t you, Eugene?”

“Uh, not much,” Eugene said. “Just a few times in practice. He’ll critique your form – whether you want it or not, usually. He did give me some good advice about protein shakes once, though.”

Nicholas thought about Seiji’s laser focus when he fenced, the relentless way that he won point after point. In truth, Nicholas wished he could be more like that. He’d thought that he was motivated to better himself, but compared to Seiji, he wasn’t serious at all. That drive, that sheer determination – it was what made Seiji a champion.

A thoughtful silence descended for a bit before Nicholas cast around for a change of subject. “So – what’s it like, being at Kings Row?” he asked. “I’ve always kind of wondered what boarding school is like. Are they super strict?”

Bobby’s eyes lit up. “It’s great! Sure, it’s kind of formal, but there’s a lot of fun stuff, too. Most of the fencers are in the same dorm…”

Nicholas listened as Bobby and Eugene told tales of assemblies and study hall, sneaking extra food from the canteen, sharing care packages from home and doing makeovers (that one was mostly Bobby).

“The dress code is strict,” Eugene complained. “Plus, you have different types of uniform that you have to wear for different things. Like sports class, or assembly.”

“Why?” Nicholas asked.

Eugene talked about cutting class when he was inducted into the team and sneaking out to the fencing clubhouse for a secret feast and team pledge. He joked about his ‘long road’ to making the team at Kings Row, trying out every year until he achieved his goal. Bobby excitedly explained why he wanted to be a fencer, and talked about his roommate, Dante, who claimed he wasn’t interested in fencing (yet hadn’t missed one of Bobby’s tryout matches).

Nicholas listened in fascination as he finished his smoothie. Truthfully, apart from the rules and the weird dress code, it sounded… fun. It was clear that the senior fencers were good guys, and that everyone at Kings Row looked out for each other even if there was some friendly competition.

And the fencing facilities… Bobby and Eugene had talked about Kings Row’s terrible track record in major competitions, but Nicholas could only dream of training somewhere like the spacious salle they’d fenced in today. For a moment, he tried to imagine it, picturing himself in a team uniform, standing in the middle of the salle, épée in hand… and a powerful wave of longing swept over him that made his breath catch. God, he wanted that so much.

He realised that Bobby and Eugene had both fallen quiet and were looking at him, although Eugene broke eye contact when Nicholas looked up, tipping his cup to drain his smoothie. Bobby smiled gently.

“You know, I’m pretty sure that Kings Row offers a fencing scholarship,” he said. “Did you ever think about trying out?”

“I don’t… Uh, I’m not really… I dunno,” Nicholas admitted, unable to muster up his usual reasoning. “It’s too late now, I guess.”

“Well, hey, if you’re ever down for getting your ass whooped in a practice match-” Eugene nudged Nicholas’ arm with a fist – “you know where to find me.”

Bobby grinned brightly at him. “Yeah, maybe we could hang out over break!”

Nicholas swallowed and smiled at them both. “That would be cool,” he said.

*

Harvard paced back and forth in the shadow of the Kings Row library building. He shouldn’t be out past curfew; as team Captain, he had a responsibility to set a good example. (Granted, he and Aiden had done it a few times in the past – more than a few, really).

But he couldn’t go back to his and Aiden’s shared dorm room. Aiden had set him a challenge to figure out what he meant by “it doesn’t do to get too attached”. He’d promised to tell Harvard the answer if Harvard couldn’t work it out, but Harvard instinctively knew that needing Aiden to tell him would be a kind of failure. And this was Aiden. His best friend. Someone he knew better than anyone else in the world, and vice versa. There was no way he wouldn’t be able to figure this out.

So, what had Aiden actually said? Harvard had asked him why he didn’t try properly as part of the team, and Aiden had responded by saying that it wasn’t good to get attached. Harvard knew that Aiden had issues with commitment. His home life had never been stable, and his dad had never offered consistent affection or emotional attention, instead thinking that throwing money around would substitute for a total lack of investment in his son’s life.

So, Aiden rejected people before they could reject him, never getting too close to anyone (except for Harvard, because Harvard refused to act like everyone else. Even when Aiden sometimes made that difficult).

But it couldn’t only be that, because Aiden knew that Harvard knew about his flaky tendencies; that wasn’t a secret. It had to be something more than that. Anyway, Aiden hadn’t always been as inconsistent as he was now – it had been a gradual thing. At the beginning, Harvard remembered, Aiden had been as dedicated as he was: showing up to every practice, doing drills and working at new moves alongside the rest of the team. Harvard recalled how much Elias, the then-captain, had liked him.

Then he’d started skipping out on the odd practice, claiming he couldn’t possibly meet his dates at any other time. When Harvard pressed him on it, Aiden had brushed him off, saying that he didn’t need all those extra practices to wipe the floor with his opponents. This was, admittedly, true (at least at the level that Kings Row competed at), and he still came through for the matches, so Harvard dropped it. But it had stung.

When he was captain, he told himself, he wouldn’t let it slide. But it was Aiden, and so… he had. Harvard sighed at himself, thinking about it. Aiden had always been his weak spot, and he’d always been able to push past the lines that Harvard tried to draw in a way that no-one else could. Whether it was skipping out on team practice… or bringing dates into their room. That one had always got his back up. The dorm room was their space, the place where they lounged around together and ate cupcakes and watched old swordfighting movies side by side.

Harvard had tried to be okay with it, telling himself that Aiden might be serious about one of these guys, and so he should get used to having them around. But Aiden never was. Harvard took Aiden's flings more seriously than Aiden did.

Aiden could never bring himself to be serious about anything, Harvard knew. He’d stopped expecting it ages ago. So, he wasn’t sure why he couldn’t chalk all of this up to Aiden being Aiden and move on.

He wanted Aiden to commit to the team, but… it wasn’t just that. Fencing had always been something that they’d done together. Being on the team, going to matches and commentating on the other fencers, watching old movies and tournament footage… Harvard had been surprised to hear Aiden say that he joined the team for Harvard because he hadn’t thought that Aiden felt the same – but fencing was their thing for Harvard too.

He had wanted Aiden to come through not for the team, not really; but for him. And when he hadn’t… Harvard had felt like he was an idiot to care as much as he did.

Harvard stared off into the distance, rubbing absently at his breastbone. He thought about the last time that he and Aiden had fenced a match against each other, during team tryouts. Harvard had enjoyed most of his matches during tryouts, even amidst the pressure. Eugene had improved so much; fencing Seiji had been a refreshing challenge, despite the stress of knowing he’d lose. And he always had fun fencing Kally, who was very tactical – a bit like Aiden.

But fencing Aiden had been… So much better than any of those matches. Harvard remembered the way Aiden tied his hair up before the match, since it was now long enough to go in a ponytail. It was a bit mesmerising, watching him flick it into place. He’d grinned, and Aiden had smiled, and it was like it had always been between them – familiar, but somehow unexpected.

They’d begun, and Aiden had fenced defensively at first, so much so that Harvard had raised an eyebrow at him. “Are we going to really fence, here?” he’d asked, and Aiden had responded with this sharp grin, and then they were fencing.

Harvard was used to this version of Aiden that he saw during fencing matches – particularly during that match against Seiji – who was all sharp edges, quicksilver wit and cutting tongue, never in the same place for too long. He turned into that person, too, when he broke up with someone. Harvard thought of it as Aiden’s defensive strategy – a way of keeping people at a distance. Of punishing them if they got too close. It made sense that this would apply as much to dating as it did to fencing.

But when the two of them fenced, Aiden was just… Aiden. The way that Harvard knew him – funny, quick, clever, his feigned carelessness disguising how much he really did care, deep down. His brow furrowed in thought while he fenced Harvard, and at one point Harvard had made a joke, some dumb reference to one of their old swordfighting movies, and Aiden had laughed openly. And Harvard had thought, There you are.

Aiden gave him a strange look, and for a moment Harvard feared the words had come out of his mouth. “What?” Aiden asked.

“I… nothing. I miss this,” Harvard had said. And then, quieter, “I miss this you.”

Aiden had looked startled, and Harvard hurriedly put his mask back on and took up a stance. They’d fenced the rest of the match, Harvard had won, and things had pretty much been normal between them. But Harvard had thought that Aiden had looked preoccupied, afterwards.

“It doesn’t do to get too attached.” Without realising it, Harvard began pacing again, more quickly. He was suddenly looking at everything in a different light.

It had never just been about fencing – it was about fencing and them. Aiden had pulled away from fencing and pulled away from Harvard because that was what he always did – to keep people at arm’s length, to keep from showing how much he cared. To protect himself. Because– because–

Harvard thought about Aiden’s shocked look when Harvard had said, “I miss this you.” He thought about Aiden running his hands through blond hair to tie it up out of the way, wisps escaping from his ponytail as he fenced, his blue eyes calculating, a knowing smirk dancing around his lips. He thought about Aiden’s laugh when they fenced.

He thought about flopping down next to Aiden on their beds, arms pressed together – about leaning into him during a movie night, trusting that Aiden would be there, solid, next to him. Harvard could vividly picture Aiden’s smile; the angle of his jaw. In his mind’s eye, he turned his head, and–

Oh. “Oh,” Harvard said out loud, staring into the distance. Then he bolted around the side of the building. He needed to find Aiden immediately.

[imgonnagetyoubacktv]

pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn

omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?

[cuteniarose]

The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

[hella1975]

ive never felt more rural than i have in the past few weeks since hanging out with a lad who has only ever lived in cities. what do you MEAN YOU'VE NEVER DONE A MORRIS DANCE

[bibuckleykinard]

how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence

like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit