#didn't realise it would come to this
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nastasya--filippovna · 5 months ago
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Hey Everybody!
Taking into account the recent developments regarding the "block-spree" against my side blog @thegeorgiatennantblog I have decided to discontinue the blog. That is to say I won't be posting anymore although I can't find it in my heart to delete it. I really didn't want to do this but its kinda obvious at the moment that there's no point in running a blog that's blocked by half of Tumblr. Because I'm not talking about tinhatter blogs. I wear their blocks like a pride pin. I'm talking about pro-Georgia or anti-shipper blogs. It's their "blocks" that I don't understand. And it hurts too.
I tried everything on my part to mitigate the damage. I cut off the toxicity by deleting any creepy anons I received and going for a "no-reply" policy for such asks. And I once again apologize all those that may have been hurt by my blog's actions (notwithstanding that they were unintentional).
It was good while it lasted. I got to meet so many whimsical, sweet people, got to share absolute awesomeness, peak gorgeousness and unhinged feralness. And I want to thank all those that supported me when I started it and gave my blog so much love everyday.
So hats off to:
@abiiii-ineffable @literatemisfit @reloha @do-angels-dream-of-starry-seas @ivankaramazov07
@dtmsrpfcringe @sakuranova07 @davidtennantgenderenvy @lemonycheesecakes @ineffable-ezra
@princeloww @mystic-mae @thatdelusionalnerd @doolittleandco @maddyjones2
@mcbash @ineffablequeermoony and all my other followers! I love y'all! NGL I'll miss this.
Meena. x
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thepersialionheart · 5 months ago
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My first and (probably) only headcanon for haikyuu is that no one can tell if Kageyama and Hinata are dating or not.
This is something which has most likely been said before but I still want to add onto it.
Are they Flirting or fighting? No one knows. There have definitely been fists involved and one time Ennoshita may have hallucinated when he heard Kageyama whisper that he was going to have his way with Hinata once they were alone. Maybe it just meant that they were going to fight more, that Kageyama was furious with Hinata and wanted to give him a piece of his mind, so the team were now all on watch duty until the end of the day, always making sure Hinata and Kageyama were never alone.
At the end of the day, before anyone could say anything, the two bolted out of the door and ran off without more than a quick "bye".
(They ignored the frustrated glares both Kageyama and Hinata gave them during the day. They definitely ignored the suspiciously placed bruises on each of their necks the next day. They must have fought a bit too much.)
A bet has been going round the Volleyball teams about whether or not they are together. A bet which Yachi and Kiyoko started amongst the Karasuno players and then the managers of other teams. Except, the players of their teams caught onto it and it has been going strong, even after Hinata went to Brazil. Especially after the Adlers vs Jackals match where most people decided against it.
(It is suspected that Yachi actually knows whether or not they are dating, but no one has gotten her to crack just yet. From the way she smirks whenever someone asks, no one will anytime soon.)
Oikawa is firmly against it, not because he doesn't believe they could ever be together, but because they are both idiots who don't know anything more than volleyball (and each other). Some agree with him.
Kenma is one of the ones who have put his money (and a lot of it) on them being together. There is too much chemistry between the two idiots that even they couldn't ignore.
There's another bet amongst the ones who bet for them being together. When they got together. Kenma says since the end of first year. He seems to know something the orhers don't know. Bokuto likes to think that they confessed just before Hinata went to Brazil and became long distance star crossed lovers. (Akaashi told him to stop being stupid (and then bet alongside Kenma)).
Surprisingly Tsukki is the one to bet on them being together since after the first training camp.
Yachi stayed out of this one. (She knew. She definitely knew.)
Yet even when Hinata and Kageyama become aware of the bets (actually they have been aware of them for years but they won't mention that just yet) they just shrug their shoulders and tells whoever is asking, "We're partners. Even when we're not on the same team."
Oikawa decided to shift his money to the other side, betting that they got together after the Adlers vs Jackals match.
But it was still unclear.
Even when Kageyama and Hinata moved in together, when people stayed over they thought it was just courtesy that one of them would give up their room and bunk with the other. Even when they touched or fought playfully, the others couldn't tell if that was actual affection or just Kageyama and Hinata being Kageyama and Hinata.
It took winning an olympic gold medal together for the truth to finally come out. After the Japan team won, everyone was on a high. In the heat of the moment, Hinata and Kageyama drew each other in for a bone crushing hug, whispering sweet nothings to each other as tears of joy spilt out of both of their eyes.
Their foreheads touched. Suddenly, it was like the entire court was quiet. It wasn't long before lips met and cheers erupted around them.
In an interview later, the both of them would be asked about their relationship.
"We've always been partners. We just thought it was time the rest of the world knew."
The only problem now was, when asked about when or how they got together, both Kageyama and Hinata would be vague. Perhaps they would mention a detail about how they confessed to each other. Yet, no one could tell when exactly it happened.
What they did let people know was that Oikawa was most definitely wrong about his guess and he could go suck it for thinking they were idiots who would take so long to realise their feelings for each other.
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nenoname · 6 months ago
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stan twins the canon cptsd brothers i will always think about all your unaddressed issues that would make perfect plot fuel for your spinoff
and also the whole 'stan getting that poem by bill via a website which contrasts with bill getting one from the axolotl via a website' foreshadowing thing
like idk i would love something like su future but like more optimistic, aka not an accumulated breakdown that has to be mostly resolved off screen at the end :/// but something thats being kinda addressed throughout? (although would love to see one of them turn into a monster thats always fun lol)
stan having severe issues from his dad and those years of being homeless that we keep on getting more info on but never really getting confronted on (the drifter catalogue and tijuana incident...), him being completely alone for like twenty years when running the shack before soos comes along to the point that 1998 is noted as his low point, and him not really learning about bill+what he did to ford until ages after he killed him if he ever did get the full context
while i think amnesia and everyone seeing him as a hero actually helped with stan's 'i'm a worse version of my brother' thing its still a lingering issue too and we now got him being insecure over his own hands
ford being immediately thrown from 'being tortured by bill' to 'being stuck in the multiverse and being chased by bounty hunters constantly', him fully expecting himself to die when destroying bill, and him only now being safe for the first time in 30 years ....relatively safe, he's still in constant danger because of course he is
idk in the end the series wants them to be happy and they deserve it, its why i wasn't too worried about the book being like 'ooh bill is back!! and the book is haunting ford' thing cos i knew they'll be ok
#stan pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#stan twins#as for the 'still on your mind' thing to me its stan literally thinking about bill despite ford resolving to move past it#or alternatively me on my same coin theory obsession lmao#me yelling and screaming at ouroboros being used to link to the axolotl and bill and how ford didn't actually keep it#which brings up even more questions about it reappearing in the shack when stan takes over#of course even if him realising about reincarnation being a thing i think its still way less to deal with than his actual issues#something something a same soul doesnt mean much when he already proved himself a better person a million times over#idk my thoughts on reincarnation as a concept is like eh??? anyway#also completely unrelated but stan writing fanfic means he knows what soos meant when he was talking about stan fics#soos seems like a gen fic writer especially with the ones we got as those promos#the train one where he comes up with a giant backstory for the setting that has nothing to do with the fic bros is super funny#but meanwhile we have stan the canonical smut writer who had to be writing it that summer#would he be a self insert shipper? would he projecting on the duchess instead? is he both???#i have many questions#then again judging from hows theres a wedding scene that he got super emotional over he might just be a shipper????#this has nothing to do with my original post#...or does it cos the axolotl last appears reacting to stan freaking out about count li--#anyway if you think this post is longer than my usual its cos i physically made myself delete most tags and put it in the actual post
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ancha-aus · 3 months ago
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Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - The Eclipse
I am back again and I got a big boy drabble for you today @spotaus
After the amazing drabble they did about Nightmare losing the magic. I decided it was about time I tried my hands at the event that brought forth the magic!
Also we are back to Ccino POV. I don't know what it is about him in this series I just love him dearly and adore his POV. Once we move more into the story I will probably do other people's POVs haha.
Warnings! We are in for a rough time because Ccino never has it easy and that is like 90% my fault. There is past abuse, past starvation, victim blaming (kinda), there is gaslighting, there is manipulation. Implied future abuse.
There is a lot and I need you to be aware of this.
Also... It... may be a bit long? As in 10K words long. So... just so you know it is long. With that out of the way! Lets Go!
*--------------------------------------*
Ccino isn’t sure what to feel. He knows he should be proud and feel excited. Today was the twin’s birthdays. They were finally turning thirteen. Something everyone in the kingdom has been excited for for the last few years as this day grow closer.
Ccino sighs as he feels his body shake. Even as he makes sure that Nightmare’s outfit is spotless. It is a beautiful light yellow. It will fit in perfectly amongst the golden and yellow decorations but Ccino can only assume it is on purpose. To show Nightmare’s rank and position as prince as Dream ascends. To see they belong together and are connected by their bond as twins.
Nightmare frows as he tugs on his shelves. Ccino gently takes his hand and removes it from the soft fabric “Hey. It is okay my prince.” He puts the sleeves back in place and is happy to note there are no ruffles.
Nightmare frowns as he turns his skull away. Ccino frowns as he makes sure the outfit is perfect.
Nightmare mutters “Still think they are stupid for making you wear pink…”
Ccino blinks and looks down at his undershirt. It is a very soft light pink and there are yellow accents. He smiles as he twists his skull a bit to enable himself to look better at Nightmare “Really? Why is that my prince?”
Nightmare shrugs and mutters “Pink doesn’t suit you… beige is better.”
Ccino smiles “I do love the neutral and nature colours… But your brother was allowed to pick everything for his big day.” And it was only fitting that the new king’s gift was exactly as he wanted-
Ccino shakes his skull. He needs to stop thinking about it like that. He isn’t the one who matters here.
Nightmare is anxious. Nightmare’s twin is about to be crowned and become king. Complete this mysterious ritual. Ccino had to be there for him. Nightmare had found information and mentions about this great sacrifice and pain. Something that Dream had to do or experience to ascend to godhood.
Nightmare had come to him near tears. Terrified his brother would be hurt by this ritual that was going to happen no matter what. Nightmare had said he had tried to warn Dream but Dream just told him he was nervous and that everything would be okay. That Dream would become a god like their mother and Dream would rule their kingdom.
Nightmare had spoken about how he had gone to his mother with his worries but Nim just dismissed him. That Nim had just told him he was seeing things wrong again and that he was letting silly ideas get the better of him again.
Ccino isn’t surprised she was like that. Nim is just like that. A terrible and horrible-
Ccino stops himself. He can never be sure what she knows and what she doesn’t.
Instead, even back when Nightmare came to him, he concentrated on helping Nightmare. Helping him calm down before looking at what he had found.
Ccino wasn’t even sure what it was but he knew… he knew that Nightmare was correct. This magic, this ritual it is dangerous.
But there is nothing Ccino could do to help him. Ccino doesn’t know magic. He can’t even do magic. He knows nothing about magic or what it all means. He was only able to hold Nightmare close until he fell asleep for the night. Ccino letting him sleep in his room with him to help him feel safe.
Ccino doesn’t know magic…
But Ccino remembers… He thinks he remembers at least… He believes that his mother used to sing… That she could do magical things with music. Ccino thinks their little house used to be filled with music.
His father had these... magical kisses? Ccino thinks so at least… That his father could give kisses when you were hurt or sad and everything felt better… Something about his magic only working because of Ccino and his mom…
Ccino thinks so at least…
He can’t really remember what his father looked like…
He just knows he is supposed to look like his mom… but he isn’t sure as he can’t remember her well either… It has been so long
Nightmare shifts before him and Ccino pulls himself out of his mindless thinking. Ccino turns Nightmare around and hums “The yellow looks nice on you…”
Nightmare pulls on his shirt anxiously “You think so? I think it looks weird… yellow fits Dream. Not me.”
Ccino smiles as he knows how to handle this easily “Really? I think it looks nice.” he gently takes Nightmare’s hands as Ccino ignores the scars on those small bones from his practise cuts “Yellow compliments purple after all. Makes your eye lights stand out more.”
Nightmare looks deeply embarrassed but has a shy smile “Really?”
Ccino smiles “Have I ever lied to you?”
Nightmare shakes his skull and looks a bit more relaxed as he looks back into the mirror. Ccino looks him over and smiles. Nightmare, and Dream, has grown into a fine young teen.
Ccino can’t help but be proud of both the twins. Ccino has always been closer to Nightmare as Dream had many others who seemed to want to answer his every request. Which meant that Ccino just focused on Nightmare when he could. Make sure the younger twin didn’t feel left behind.
Ccino is proud to say that he managed it. Nightmare is happy and never mentioned feeling alone. He mentioned missing his twin when he went to his classes but aside from that Nightmare was happy and healthy. Dream was too.
The twins adore each other and are the closest friends. Both are happy and healthy.
All in all. Ccino thinks he has been doing a great job with helping and raising them.
Ccino hums as he moves to Nightmare’s front and starts putting up the little golden and sun jewellery. Careful all in the right spots. Decorating his thin neck and the fragile wrists.
Last Ccino picks up the small silver crown and places it on Nightmare’s skull “Almost done my prince.”
Nightmare stares at him “We are alone.” And he waits.
Ccino blinks and smiles softly “My prince-” Nightmare frowns more. Ccino sighs but can’t stop smiling “Nightmare. You know I have to address you properly.” He can’t stop himself as he rubs the smaller skull and Nightmare leans into it happily “I am just a servant. People can’t see me disrespecting you like that.”
Nightmare frowns again “I don’t care.” And he glares more “and you are not just a servant. You are you.”
Ccino smiles and nuzzles him softly “I know you don’t care Nightmare. And I would like to not care either. But… it isn’t right or how it works…” he gives him a sad smile.
Nightmare frowns and mutters “Maybe… When Dream is king he can change that?” he looks a bit more hopeful.
Anxiety returns to his soul. Ccino doesn’t want to be important and known… He forces it back down as he gives a gentle smile “As king he won’t get the chance to do such things until much later Nightmare. He can’t risk being seen as weak or someone who is easy to disrespect. Once things calm down we can maybe ask him. Okay?” much later.
Nightmare frowns and mutters “Who would disrespect him? He would be a king and a god!” and he looks at Ccino.
Ccino feels bad. Seeing as he doesn’t respect Nim at all. And Nim is like that. Ccino instead gives him a tiny grin “Some people will just be like that. Even if they don’t have a good reason. And no matter how much you want them to you can’t change their minds.” He rubs his cheek “Which means you can only focus on what matters to you and the country.”
Nightmare frowns before nodding “I can do that for him. Help him.” He rubs his arm and whispers “Do… do you think the… the bad thing will happen?”
Ccino frowns “I am not sure Nightmare. I am so sorry…” he can’t help him when it matters… Ccino wasn’t even sure why he thought he could help either of them in a way that matters.
Nightmare leans into his touch and mutters “At least you believe me.”
Ccino feels a bit better as he speaks softly “And I always will. Even if no one else believes you. I will. I will be there for you. I swear.” It is an easy promise to make to him.
Nightmare actually smiles this time.
Ccino relaxes as he slowly gets the paint and make up out “Ready for the last finishing touches?”
Nightmare nods and takes a seat. Ccino gets the paint and gets to work. Ccino had to do these very early on for both the twins. Dream would want to get up and move around while Nightmare would patiently wait for Ccino to finish and for the make up to dry. Ccino never minded it of course. It was fun! It reminded him of finger painting and practising make up with his mom. It are dear memories.
Ccino starts with a bit of paint by Nightmare’s cheeks and his chin. To make sure the edges look softer and a bit rounder. Next he adds a very small line of golden yellow around the very edge of his sockets. Ccino hadn’t been lying after all, yellow did help make purple stand out more and with this is made the purple pop. Ccino then took the silver and with the utmost care he painted the phases of the moon from one temple to the other across the forehead. Making sure the full moon was at the very center. Ccino didn’t even need to redo it today.
Ccino smiles as he takes a step back “All ready.” He washes the paint and make up from his phalanges.
Nightmare hops off his chair and looks into the mirror “Will you have to also do Dream’s paints?”
Ccino shakes his skull “Not today. I believe the king is helping your twin prepare.” He finishes cleaning himself up and puts everything back to its spot.
Nightmare nods as he looks into the mirror anxiously “It is okay… it is fine… Dream will be fine…” he tugs on his shirt again.
Ccino joins his side and frees the shirt from the tight hold. After it he tugs it all back in place before stepping back “There. You are ready my prince.” And he gives a small bow “Very soon. Crown prince.”
Nightmare rubs his arm. Luckily the material the shirt is made of doesn’t crumble easily and it remains looking nice and puffy. Ccino needs to make sure Nightmare looks fine and no one can say anything rude to Nightmare about it.
Ccino joins his side and smiles “Hey… Nighty?” Nightmare immediately looks at him. Ccino keeps smiling. Praying it helps relax him “You are going to do amazing. You will look stunning together with your twin and you two have bright futures ahead of you.”
Nightmare gives a very slow nod before he mutters “Will you be nearby? I know it is private and only for the inner circle until the real crowning but… Will you please be near?”
Ccino smiles “Yeah. I will be close by.” For completely different reasons…
Nightmare relaxes and smiles brightly “Thank you… I need you there to feel brave.”
Ccino feels like his soul is gripped as he gives him a gentle hug. Making sure not to mess up Nightmare’s outfit or make up “You don’t need me for that Nightmare. You are the bravest monster I know. But I will be there okay? You will see me right there okay? And if you start feeling scared or unsure you can look at me and know that there will always be people who believe in you and are there for you. Okay?” He rubs the cheek.
Nightmare pushes his face more into it and lets out a soft purr “Thank you.”
Ccino smiles “I am happy to be there for you. Both of you.” He hears footsteps in the distance and quickly takes his hand back as he steps back. Nightmare looks confused for a moment before the door behind him opens.
Ccino bows to the captain entering “Captain.”
The captain, a bird monster by the name of Falks, dismisses him but that is alright. Ccino doesn’t mind at all. He knows that most of the higher ups kind of know the deal that is about to happen.
Captain Falks bows to Nightmare “Hello my prince. I am here to lead you to the king and the future king.”
Nightmare nods before looking back at Ccino “See you soon Ccino.” And he follows the captain out.
Ccino makes sure to remain in his spot until the door closes. When it closes he feels all the tension return as the need to hide in one of the tunnels returns. He doesn’t want to go there.
He doesn’t want to be at the ritual.
Because… That will be the moment that he…
That his…
He is right now the king’s after all. Nim just only had use for him as babysitter and servant. Ccino knows… he knows what the little apple patterns on his clothes mean after all.
Ccino feels his breath quicken as he grabs a hold on the vanity and gasps as his breath gets shorter and shorter. He stares at himself for a moment before looking away. He can’t stand the sight of himself. Seeing himself hurts… Seeing himself brings back memories he can’t quite remember and pain and fear from long ago. He can’t deal with that. He can’t.
Ccino gasps as he takes a seat on the ground and curls up more. This is it… today… he will be… he won’t…
He… he is never going to see Nightmare ever again? Is he?
He doesn’t know what the ritual does. Not exactly.
But Nim had pulled him aside and given him an idea. How it changes the person. How it increases their power and that with it came the knowledge that they were more important than any mortals. That their power and their ability to hold and manage that power is the proof.
That once Dream gets the power he will finally get the power he deserves. He will have the power and knowledge that will make him the god among people.
That Ccino will be there for him in any way he wishes. For anything he wants.
Any. Thing.
Ccino feels gross just thinking about it.
Footsteps in the hallway and Ccino has to pull himself together. He forces himself back to his feet even if his whole body shakes. Even if he can’t stand the sight of everything around him.
He just manages to pull his face into a more neutral look and slow his panicked breathing when the door opens. Some guards stand ready and mutter about bringing Ccino to the room to prepare him for the ritual.
Ccino follows the guards. His soul pulsing fast enough that Ccino is starting to feal dizzy. He keeps his breaths short as he follows the familiar path.
They end by the healing bay and he is left by the door. The door opens and two medics are there already. They rush Ccino in and comment about him being later than expected. Ccino apologises as he stands in the room.
He hears the two healers talk as he stares ahead of himself. Trying so hard not to hear. He doesn’t want to hear it.
Ccino stares ahead of himself. The other wall has shelves which hold a lot of different items and potions. Ccino knows that some of those are against exhaustion and to give more energy. There are health boosters and even a few that will just knock you out. All different colours.
The scents are making his already dizzy skull spin and pound. He may be starting to get migraine.
The doctor snaps “Ccino!”
Ccino blinks and turns slightly “Yes sir?”
The doctor, Nigel, looks annoyed while the other healer, Mar, giggles “Don’t be mad at him. Can you blame him? He will be the future King’s first mate.” They sigh wishfully “I am so jealous… I wish I could be the one who helped Dream like that.”
They disgust Ccino. Ccino doesn’t care that technically Dream is about to magically become an adult. He is a child! One who barely started puberty! How could they think about him like that? Like they are just waiting for him to grow up so they can… so they can think and do those things to him?!
Doctor Nigel sighs annoyed as he stares at Ccino “When did you last eat and what?”
Ccino needs to think. He hadn’t eaten that morning… He hasn’t had dinners in ages much like lunches. His last breakfast was… “Day before yesterday.” If he is correct.
The doctor looks annoyed “Seriously? You pigging out again? You know that you need to look your best.” He sighs as he shakes his head.
Ccino just looks down. He just had been so hungry. He had felt so empty and tired. He had thought… Maybe a little wouldn’t be bad? Just to get a bit of energy.
Nigel looks at him expecting “What did you eat?”
Ccino looks to the side. Feeling guilty “Had some toast… and some yogurt and milk.” It had been so good. He had felt full after it and sighed happily.
The doctor huffs “Pigging. Out.”
The other giggles “Oh let him pig out. Maybe then King Dream will see that he is not that much anyway. Let someone who is actually pretty get a chance to please our new lord.” They sigh wishfully again.
Nigel shoots his colleague a look “Stop it. You can try to get in his harem once he is established.” He turns back to side as he grabs a step stool “The first mate always dies quickly anyone. They are there for the king to test their power and magic after all. Rather painful from what I understand.” He points towards the step stool “Undress and on the step stool.”
Ccino feels sick and feels his soul pulse anxiously but his body does as ordered. He feels beyond exposed as he stands there. Staring downwards as the two doctors circle him and comment on things. He can hardly hear it. His skull hurts.
Doctor Nigel hums “Luckily none of the lashes gave permanent marks after all. It would be unsightly for our future king to see marks of disobedience.” He makes a note as he moves on and checks his ribs and spine. Touching it and Ccino tries to ignore how invasive it feels. “Age?”
Ccino needs a moment to think “Twenty.”
He hums and makes a note “That should fertile then. Good. Summon your ecto.”
Ccino really doesn’t want to. His soul is filled with anxiety but he tries.
Nothing happens.
The doctor looks annoyed “I said. Summon the ecto.”
Ccino doesn’t look up “I can’t… I don’t have enough energy or magic.” Maybe he can’t summon it at all anymore. Maybe it is broken? Would that mean he doesn’t have to worry about this whole thing anymore? If he is unable to summon the parts needed… If he is too broken to serve his purpose…
The doctor grumbles as he walks to the cabinet and searches through the bottles before pulling one out “Here. Drink it.”
Ccino looks at the bright orange liquid and feels sick just looking at it. It smells gross. It looks disgusting. It is much too solid to be a normal drink.
Mar laughs as they smirk at him “What is wrong? Suddenly not a glutton anymore?”
Ccino doesn’t want to… But he remembers the pain of the lashes. The way each one burned. They way they would wait between the hits. Until his back was fully healed before giving the next one. Healing it magically, fast and aggressive which left his back tender and hurting of pains that weren’t there anymore. Then the next lash would hit.
He still feels the pain sometimes. Which is dumb. Ccino knows he isn’t hurt anymore. It got healed years ago and it doesn’t hurt. There is nothing there that could hurt. Everyone told him as much. To stop acting as if he is hurt when he was fine.
Ccino downs the potion as ordered. It is gross and sticks to his throat and it feels unpleasant. The unknown and different magic in the potion makes him sick but he stands there.
Nigel nods “Now. That should give you enough magic and mana to at least last through the night for our new King. Now summon so I can inspect your ecto.”
Ccino feels sick but does as ordered. He focusses on his soul. Even if the pulsing of it is uneven and anxious it is better than to think about the hands touching his ecto. Hands he doesn’t want to touch him anywhere.
He stares ahead. Staring at the different coloured bottles. Two are purple. One is blue. There is a green one on the side. Most of them don’t have a colour and three are yellow. All on different shelves. None of them have labels.
Doctor Nigel steps back as he takes notes “Seems fine and stable enough. A bit too round but that is too be expected from your gluttonous nature.” The doctor makes notes.
The other giggles “Best hope the king likes them heavier.” And Mar giggle again.
Ccino hates it here.
The doctor shoots his colleague a look “Behave. It will not look good for you if the first mate doesn’t like your behaviour.” And he shoots Ccino a look “You can get dressed again. Others will come pick you up soon to get ready.” And he turns to his desk. The other doctor huffs and shoots Ccino a jealous look.
Ccino would willingly and gladly trade places. Do it. Take his place. He doesn’t want to be some offering to placate a newly ascended god. Ccino knows what everyone implies he will do to do that. He feels sick.
Either way he gets dressed in the much too soft cotton with the almost silky feel to it. It is soft as he tugs on it. His soul feels like it has permanently moved to his throat. He still feels dizzy, the other magic in his body makes him feel sick.
Everything about this makes him ill. He wants to hide. Just not go. Fuck it. Stay in the hidden tunnels and just keep hiding there until they give up on searching for him. No one ever found him in those tunnels anyway.
The image of Nightmare looking hopefully into the crowd when he feels nervous. Ccino not being there.
He can’t… He can’t break his promise to Nightmare.
The door opens and a few maids walk in. They all seem excited and happily tug Ccino with them. They talk about how lucky he is and how he doesn’t need to worry! That people will make sure he looks pretty and then the new King will not be able to keep his hands to himself!
Ccino just smiles and nods. Not sure if he can keep himself from throwing up if he starts talking.
They get to the large dressing room. Normally used for making and fabricating outfits for the royals and nobles. Ccino feels his anxiety returns as the maids leave him with the seamstress Sasha. Sasha looks beyond excited as she looks at different outfits.
She hums happily “I am so excited! It is the greatest honour to have been allowed to make your outfit. I made a few options and the current king and future king already expressed their preference!” she smiles brightly as she holds up different outfits “I have a few that were approved upon and I made sure they will fit the decorations!”
Ccino nods as he lets her talk. Everywhere there are flags and banners with little suns on them. The symbol of Dream. A small sun for the golden prince. Dream had been so excited when they picked his symbol when the twins turned ten. Nightmare had been excited about his own symbol in the form of the moon.
Ccino watches as the seamstress pulls out this beautiful dress. Lower back and cuts by the lower part and legs to enable easy movement.
Sasha smiles as she holds it up “I know I know. A dress is the go to but I wanted to try just in case! Please put it on.”
Ccino takes the clothing item and gets dressed. Feeling numb to the exposed feeling by now. He waits on the verdict.
She beams “Oh you are so pretty!” she looks excited as she rushes to the other outfits she laid out “But I think the dress isn’t your fit after all. Don’t get me wrong you look gorgeous but it just doesn’t seem right! It doesn’t show off your best sides well as it is designed to look good on people with more curves.”
Ccino is never sure what people want from him. Some say he is too fat and a glutton. Others say he doesn’t have enough curves. He really tried to do as ordered and only eat and drink what he is supposed to. He doesn’t understand why his body isn’t like they want by now. He swears he tried.
He is so tired.
Sasha brings out this pants and shirt set which feels a bit more comfortable. Ccino doesn’t like how open the back is as it gives him bad memories. The only times his back was uncovered was when they… they…
The shirt itself is very tight around his neck. And shows off most of his spine. The pants themselves hang low on his hip bones. Barely staying up as it is while the pants legs are long and cover him to the ankles.
The seamstress hums as she looks considered “This shows off your skeleton nature much better than the dress did! Your spine is so clean and pretty! I am sure the king would love to be able to see it easily! I will have to make a note of that for any future outfits!” she makes a note as she grabs the next outfit.
The shirt has shoulder pads this time and covers his spine a lot better. The sides are mostly open but it isn’t as short as the other one and it only shows a bit of his lower spine.
Instead of pants this outfit has more of a skirt to it. It still hangs low on his hips but there is a very short tight pants under the skirt to keep it in place. The sides of his legs are almost completely uncovered aside from the tight pants but the skirt part gives him at least the illusion of modesty.
Sasha hums as she looks between the outfits “I think that one is best.” She smiles a t him “Feeling pretty and ready to rock the new king’s world?” she is trying to hype him up.
Ccino gives a small smile and speaks softly “Mostly nervous.” Which is the most truthful and honest thing he can safely say.
She gasps “What? You don’t need to be nervous! He is going to be so happy to see you! You are so pretty he is going to be blown away!”
Ccino doesn’t feel pretty. He just feels sick and uncomfortable. It is so close now. Before he could mostly ignore it but now it is really going to happen. He is going to be promoted from babysitter to sex slave. And there is not a single thing he can do about it. Yet Ccino is the idiot and weird one for not being excited.
He wants to cry.
He takes his seat as the seamstress talks about his make up and what she picked out. It is mostly just some touch up. She mentions that putting much more on would just make him look fake and make him lose his natural beauty.
She disappears to the corner where she opens a locked box. There are golden chains in there. Well, not actually chains but necklaces and bracelets apparently, they may as well be chains though. Ccino watches as the other puts them on him. By his arms. His ribs. One as a choker. She coos and praises how pretty he looks. Ccino doesn’t feel like he is all there anymore.
Heavy steps and moments later the door opens.
The seamstress bows deeply and Ccino looks down as well. Making a bow as far as he can without disrupting any of the work done on him.
A moment of silence before a pleased hum “Good. You got cleaned up and made yourself look presentable. Come. We are about to start.”
As they walk Nim reminds him once more of what his role will be and what he will do. Ccino echoes the instructions back to her when prompted.
He is lead into the throne room and there is a silence. Ccino feels his arm start to shake as he makes his way towards his spot. Ccino tries not to panic.
This is it. There is no turning back now.
Ccino just stands in his spot. Near enough to step forwards when it is his time. Ccino tries not to think about what will happen to him after today. What his life will be after this. Ccino glances around.
There aren’t as many people as he would expect. The only people are the king’s advisors. The captain of the guard and a few extra guards. And Ccino of course.
None of the maids or servants are actually here with them.
Ccino glances around and sees people all getting ready. A priest as well. To perform the crowning of Dream as Nim will be unavailable.
Ccino… Ccino doesn’t like this ritual or what he knows about it.
From what he understand… the king will give up her magic. Make it form something for Dream to take and consume. Consuming the magic will give him powers and magic and the ability to ascend. Then. Once it is time. Something of great emotional importance is supposed to happen. That the magic will guide Dream to do what is needed for him to finish ascending.
Once ascended. Dream will be first crowned to the small select group here and then to the kingdom as a whole.
Ccino is supposed to step forwards when Dream finishes his ritual but before he is crowned. Ccino will join his side and remain there through everything.
Ccino still doesn’t understand how it will affect Dream. All the king ever told him was that Dream would within seconds grow from teen to an adult and all the feelings, knowledge and emotions that came with it would happen all at once. That it would make Dream ready to rule. The ritual would give him the understanding for what happened and how so he can perform it himself when the time is right.
Ccino thinks it isn’t right.
But maybe that is just him. He doesn’t like the magic in this place. His memories still see magic as the voice of his mother singing and some stuff moving on their own to help her with chores. Of his father holding him close and giving a kiss to his little bruises and them feeling better. They told him magic was about joy and love.
Here… they always spoke about rituals and blood and sacrifices. Ccino had seen them sacrifice animals before.
He doesn’t like it.
He hates it.
Ccino had had to clean up cuts on Nightmare’s hands from past rituals. All in preparation. Nightmare had been near tears as it hurt. Ccino remembers telling him that it can’t be actually that good of magic if it hurts him.
Ccino isn’t sure if he was even helping at this point…
Not that it matters… He probably won’t see Nightmare much after this… As he will just… be wherever and whatever Dream wants him to be and do and-
No. Stop. Don’t think about it.
Ccino tries to distract himself.
The hall is decorated with large banners. All with pictures and images of the sun and light. Gold in colour and making the room seem lighter.
Ccino suddenly understands his outfit colour choice. It seems to mirror the colours of a sunrise.
Nim steps out of the side door and walks towards her throne, her mask on her face. She stands before it as the hall is immediately quiet. Moments later Dream and Nightmare walk out together and stand on both of her sides, both wearing their own masks.
Nightmare looks anxious and Ccino manages to catch his eye through the tiny openings of the owl mask. Nightmare seems to relax a little.
That is good.
That is much better.
The King speaks up and her voice sounds out “We are here today. For the next step in our glorious kingdom. As I will ascend to take my rightful place among the stars. As my son will take his own rightful place. A god on this world. Like myself.”
Excitement rises in the room as Nim raises her arms and hands to her chest. And It lights up.
It is scorching hot. It is burning.
The light is bright as Nim holds out the light. It slowly condenses into a single form. A glowing apple. She turns slowly. Her body already starting to fall apart as she starts to dust. Her hand holds out the glowing apple to Dream.
Dream wiggles slightly in place before raising his mask to the top of his face to reveal the big smile before looking serious again as he steps forwards. He holds out his arms and hands.
Nim stands still for a moment before she places the apple in his hands but keeps holding on.
Dream looks determined and nods “Thank you. Mother. May you rise to be above the other gods.”
Nim nods and lets go of the apple. As soon as the contact is gone. She is gone. She falls apart and her mask falls on top of the pile of dust.
The apple is a perfect golden colour. It isn’t shining anymore but it reflects the light beautifully.
Dream steps forwards and smiles “Hello everyone. For this glorious day. As the old king and my mother takes her rightful place among the stars and gods. As I stand before you to claim my own place in the growing history of our family. To make them proud and do as they hava done before me.”
Ccino notices Nightmare looks nervous as he shoots him looks. Ccino gives him a tiny smile and Nightmare seems to relax before he gains a look of focus in those eye lights.
Dream smiles as he raises his arms up high.
Which is when Nightmare rushes him and tackles his brothers. The two twins struggle for a moment before Nightmare manages to grab the apple and take a few steps away.
Dream stares from his spot on the ground in shock “Nightmare?!”
Nightmare doesn’t say anything. He is shaking lightly before Nightmare finds his eye sight again. Nightmare raises his own owl mask to the top of his skull, he takes a deep breath and bites into the apple.
Something in his body changes. Ccino can see an almost hazed look on Nightmare’s face as he bites. And bites. And bites. Eating the apple even if he seems to almost choke on the mouthfuls.
And then the apple is gone. Core and all.
Nightmare stands there for a moment before starting to lean to one side before leaning towards the other. His body shaking. He starts to shake more and more as Nightmare rolls up as he hugs his own form. Then Nightmare starts screaming and sobbing as he falls to his knees.
Ccino feels his own body shake. Ccino feels himself take a step closer.
He is hurt… He needs to…
A guard stops him.
Ccino can’t look away from Nightmare. Nightmare is just shaking and sobbing as he stays on his knees.
A cracking of bones. The ripping of clothing. And large limbs burst out of Nightmare’s back. Ccino sees them move and wriggling around dripping of Nightmare’s blood. But Ccino watches as the red colour darkens little by little until it is a solid black instead. It continues to drip on the ground as Nightmare shudders.
Then he stops. Everything stops. The screaming, the shaking, the sobbing.
Silence.
Nightmare slowly rises to his feet. The goop moving and dripping slowly off his form to drip on the ground. Nightmare looks around the room. His clothes ripped in many places as parts of it remain on the ground covered with that same sticky black goop that used to be red and liquid and his blood.
“How could you!?”
Nightmare blinks and turns to stare at Dream. Dream glares at him as he shakes with pure rage.
Dream screams “How could you?!”
Nightmare however doesn’t react. He just keeps staring at his brother. Ccino… Ccino doesn’t like the look on his face. It is the same look as with the apple… Ccino also doesn’t like the look on Dream’s face. The open rage and anger.
Dream knows magic. Nightmare does not.
Ccino doesn’t think and rushes away from his spot. The guard who had a hold on him before had let go in shock. Ccino side steps any hands as he rushes to the raised platform and thrones. He rushes up the stairs and gets between the twins. Holding hands up to both of them as he gives them both a strict look “No fighting.” He would have wanted his voice to be louder. But he can’t. Even now he can’t shout at either of them. He never could.
Dream looks away with angry tears in his eyes. Nightmare freezes as he stares at him. Ccino looks back at him.
His face isn’t the same anymore. The sockets are all wrong and the eye lights aren’t right either. Nightmare is much taller and doesn’t look in anyway like he did. The magic that he emits is even different.
But… the angle of those shoulders… Nightmare is scared and confused.
Ccino needs to get them somewhere else. He needs to get them out of view of others. They need to calm down and they need to figure out what is next. Was… Was Nightmare instructed by Nim to eat the apple after all? But… that doesn’t make sense?
No. Focus. No use trying to figure stuff out when it isn’t the priority. Get the twins to the back. Get them situated.
Ccino takes a deep breath before turning towards the waiting crowd with a smile on his face. He makes sure to tugs his hands behind the small of his back as he speaks with his cheerful people pleasing voice “We will be in the back to clean up before we continue. Please excuse our new king and the crown prince for just a moment.” And he bows deeply before shooting Dream a look and motioning towards the back.
Dream still looks angry but does as told as he moves towards the back. Ccino rises and gives a deep bow to Nightmare “My lord?” Nightmare is king now… right? so he should do this?
Nightmare looks bothered. It isn’t the same face he pulls but it is the same reaction as before. At least that look from the apple is gone. He just looks confused and overwhelmed. Nightmare moves towards the back without a single glance into anyone’s direction. Ccino uses the general confusion to rush into the room after them.
Okay. Okay.
What now?
The room is quiet as Dream continues to glare at Nightmare. Nightmare frowns at him as he raises a hand “Dream… I…” he shakes his skull as that glint in his eye lights returns before he manages to shake it.
Dream glares as he shakes “How could you! I trusted you! Everyone always said you just wanted the throne! I defended you! Said you would never betray me! Yet you do?!” angry tears appear in his sockets as he glares.
Nightmare shakes his skull again. “I didn’t… I didn’t want to. I…” He frowns. So confused.
The door slams open and Ccino notices Nightmare flinch at the sound before Ccino is grabbed and turned around. Captain Falks is there glaring “What the fuck did you do?!”
Ccino blinks as two more guards join them. Ccino looks back at Nightmare and Dream “I… I got them out of sight? Stopped them from fighting.”
Falks groans “Yes! That is the problem! You stopped the ritual!”
Ccino feels any insecurity and nerves leave him as it replaces him with rage “Of course I did?! In case you didn’t notice! It went terrible! Of course I got them out of sight and calm before they could hurt each other!”
Captain Falks glares “The leftover prince was never supposed to take the apple! This is a disaster! He was supposed to just be there for the future King of Light Dream!” Falks glares at the twins before glaring at Ccino again “This is a mess and you made it worse.”
Ccino flinches as he looks to the side “What is done is done… We need to be quick…” he glances back and can’t help but notice that Nightmare is very much barely dressed at this point as he ripped out of his clothing and Dream is overdressed with the too large clothing. Swimming in the bright orange cape and the softer coloured dress pants and shirt. Ccino nods to himself “We will need to get them both ready quickly. A new outfit for King Nightmare is a must. He can’t be crowned when he is barely dressed. Dream will need cloths that are form fitted for him now instead of how he could have been.” His mind is racing as he looks over to the two guards behind Falks.
It are cadet Rogers and Cadet Miles. Okay. Ccino has seen them before and they are both ambitious but are loyal to the crown. Ccino looks at Miles “Miss Miles. Can you get back to the hall and keep the people calm? We may need more refreshments for them.” Miles gives a nod and Ccino focuses on Rogers “Cadet Rogers. We need to make sure we aren’t bothered. Can you make sure to stand guard?” Cadet Rogers nods with a salute and moves to the door together with cadet Miles. Ccino looks at Falks “Captain. We need the priest to remain here and remain ready to crown Nightmare and vow him in. While I get the prince and king ready you need to go to the priest and give him a small update that Nightmare will be sworn in instead-”
Falks glares “Who do you think you are to order me and my guards around?”
Ccino freezes before giving him a look “We need to act quickly and adapt to the change.”
Falks huffs as he looks disgusted  “I will not serve a fake king.”
A moment of silence and shock goes through Ccino. He also feels… rejected? Dejected? It doesn’t make sense. Ccino instead focusses on the moment “How is he a fake king?”
Falks huffs “You are an idiot. He was never meant to be king. He was there to make sure that Dream would rise to his rightful place. Not be a useless and jealous brat and take it for himself! He didn’t even finish the ritual!”
Ccino glares “He did.”
Falks smirks “Oh believe me. He did not.”
Ccino glares as he starts to recount what he knows “He ate the apple. Legends speak that anyone unworthy of absorbing the magic would perish. Nightmare survived and was able to gain the power it gave. Meaning the magic decided him worthy.” Falks blinks but Ccino continues “Nightmare is a son of the old king Nim just like Dream. Are you really disrespecting the royal bloodline?” Falks looks a lot more worried. Ccino goes for the finishing blow “Not to forget. The ritual spoke of a large betrayal. I do believe. That eating the apple and betraying his twin would count as such.”
Ccino may not agree with any of these thought and believes followed by these people. But he knows how to speak their language and play their game. “That means. That our new king is Nightmare. Who completed the ritual.”
Falks suddenly looks a lot more unsure before he hisses to Ccino “You best remember your place slave. And if I had it my way I would show it to your personally. Your pretty face can’t save you from all the consequences.”
Ccino doesn’t feel fear. He just feels rage. “Oh I remember my place just fine. My duty, as ordered by the old king, is to be by the new king’s side and help him in any way I can. I am doing exactly as I was instructed. I think it is time you remember your own oaths and vows Captain. As you are supposed to protect, guard and serve the ruling king yourself.”
Falks glares harshly at him “When this is over. I will take great pleasure in punishing you and your bratty mouth. Seems like the last twenty I gave you did not make much of an impression. Maybe with fifty lashes you will learn your place.”
Ccino raises a brow “Ask our king when it is calm. We both have our duties. Yours should be to make sure everything in the hall is still fine so we can move on to the coronation.” Ccino glares at him “The priest needs to be informed as I prepare our king.”
There is a silence in the room. The two cadets stare at Ccino and their captain but Ccino doesn’t care. He knows he will be in trouble for this. A lot of trouble and he does not enjoy knowing he will be punished later for ignoring the hierarchy and rules.
But Nightmare needs him now. Even if Nightmare doesn’t seem the same. It is still Nighty. Ccino used to tug him into bed with a  bedtime story. Ccino used to cut both Nightmare’s and Dream’s food into tiny pieces to make eating easier for them.
Ccino is not going to fail them now because some stupid birdbrain decided he wanted to try a powerplay when there is a crisis.
Falks breaks their eye contact first. He huffs as he walks to the door and hisses “Do what he says. We need to serve our king.” And he leaves the room. The two cadets follow.
Ccino glances back at the twins and is happy to note both seem too distracted to have noticed the captain trying his silly powerplay. The twins are just staring at each other and seemingly lost in their own world.
Ccino nods as he rushes to the wall. He finds the servants pathway and sneaks a look inside. Okay! Perfect! A sewing kit! He grabs it and takes it back inside before ringing the bell and leaving a message that he needs cloths in the colours of deep purple, dark blue, cyan or black stat. He goes back inside and looks around.
Now. What can he use to fix this mess? He searches the room and pulls out any tools he can find. Ccino knows that his fellow servants and maids all stash items all around the castle. To use when in need without having to travel far.
He manages to pull one of the large sun banners down and starts sewing it into a more casual tunic dress fit before managing to find a brown belt  to help give it shape. He goes to Dream’s side and checks the cape and clothes he is wearing. Okay he can let Dream still wear the large cape as it will go well.
Ccino pushes the clothes into his arms “Here. I am sorry it is rushed work. This will fit better.”
Dream stares before glaring as his sockets fill with tears “No! This… this isn’t supposed to be like this!” Dream glares at Nightmare “How could you?!”
Oh no not again.
Nightmare looks at Dream and that slight edge is back again “I just… I needed… I just wanted…” Each time Nightmare tries to speak he seems to stop as soon as he hears his own voice. Shock obvious on his face.
Dream glares “I can’t believe you would betray me! I trusted you! I thought we were a team!”
Nightmare looks so sad “We are…”
Dream shakes his skull.
Which is when Sera walks in. Great. This day just went from bad to horrible. And that is impressive as Ccino had believed he would become a sex slave.
Sera glares at him “Why are you making orders and what is going on?!”
Ccino just takes the fabric she brought and gets to work sewing quickly. He can’t make it complex or too detailed but anything fitting will be better than Nightmare being crowned while naked “Prince Nightmare ate the apple. I am preparing him for his coronation as quickly as I can.”
Sera looks shocked before frowning “You should not be this involved! Step aside as I will do so instead.”
Ccino shoots her a look “And what role gives you this right?”
Sera glares “I am the head of the servants! Including you!”
Ccino can’t help but smile brightly as he answers “Actually. As you very often told me. I am not a part of the servants. I am one of the king’s loyals.” He smiles brightly as he enjoys the shock on her face “And as you often told me. I don’t belong in your group.”
She sputters and glares “You have some nerve! You are nothing but a toy! Something to throw aside when the king is done with you!”
Ccino nods “Of course. But that is the king’s decision.” He makes sure to smile pleasantly “And you wouldn’t go against the king’s will… would you?”
Sera is seething but nods “I wouldn’t.”
Ccino nods “Good. Now. The guests will be forced to wait a little longer. I am sure they would appreciate some extra refreshments and food.” This time he downright smirks as he shoots her a look “After all. Your performance will reflect on all of us.”
Sera is furious. Ccino knows why of course. She must not enjoy Ccino echoing her own words back at her.
Sera nods before leaving the room.
Ccino checks his hands and is happy to note he got the basics done. This will sadly have to do. He walks over to Nightmare “My lord? May I help you?”
Nightmare blinks slowly at him before nodding “Yes.” He remains still as Ccino puts the newly made shirt over his head and carefully moves the slits he made in place. The tendrils move easily through it and seem to brush against his side and Ccino shudders. The goop is cool and sticks slightly. Still. He moves  with purpose as he gets Nightmare into his new shirt. It is a bit too tight for the other and Nightmare frowns as he looks down at it. Ccino starts messing with the seams as he tries to gain a bit more room for Nightmare to move around in.
Ccino eventually needs to abandon that as he has to focus on the other parts. The cloak he made is easy in design and has a hood attached for Nightmare to use if needed. He quickly stitches in the familiar pattern of the moon phases at the button and around the neck before putting it over his shoulders.
Shit. The normal strings would just not be impressive enough.
Come on think. Think. Think.
Ccino sees a glimmer of gold and looks down. His jewellery!
Ccino quickly undoes the chain around his neck and clips each end on the cape. It works and gives it a nice shine. Mmh.
Ccino is quick to remove all his bracelets and other gold items as he moves around Nightmare. Putting some on the tendrils, which seem to really like wrapping around his arm or leaning against him. Ccino gives them gentle pats each time he needs to move or he removes them.
At the end his own clothes are much darker thanks to all the goop but Nightmare looks at least a little bit like a king. Ccino hopes that the distance from the others will be large enough that it isn’t obvious that this is a very bad patch job but he did what he could.
Ccino nods as he grabs a spare outfit for himself and quickly changes. No longer the very clear offering but at this point Ccino thinks the best thing to do is to get the whole day over with before trying to pull everything back together.
Ccino nods to the twins as he speaks “Okay! That is all I can do. If we take much longer they will become impatient and we don’t need them to be mad.” It is scary how easy it is for him to fall back into this role. How natural it always felt to speak to them as babysitter, caretaker and, he only dares to think it, older brother. Even with Nightmare now being a deity it still feels natural. It feels easy.
“We will go out to the throne room and the guards will open the doors. More people will watch as the priest crowns Nightmare. After that they will party but it is fine if you two retire for the night at that point.”
Dream glares “Nightmare shouldn’t be crowned! I should be!”
Ccino flinches as he looks between the twins. Making sure to keep his voice calm as he speaks “I know Dream. But I don’t think anyone will accept that. Not while the ritual and powers accepted Nightmare…” because that is what happened. Even if people seem to refuse to see it. According to all the rules known of the ritual. Nightmare completed each step. He has a new form and new power. He was accepted and ascended. Both to king and to be a god.
Ccino doesn’t know if there are private rules he doesn’t know but he wouldn’t even know who would know. So this is the situation they have at the moment.
Dream shakes his skull and slaps Ccino’s hand away. Yeah he figured. Ccino doesn’t take it personally. “It is wrong!” Dream glares at Nightmare.
Nightmare still has this glint in his sockets but each time he stares for too long at Dream, Ccino can see that Nightmare also focusses on him and the glint disappears.
Ccino focusses on Dream as he tries to calm the other down “I know you are angry Dream. But please. We don’t have time to discuss this and-”
Dream shakes his skull “I don’t care!” he glares at Nightmare “How could you!”
Nightmare’s tendrils slowly rise “I don’t…”
Dream doesn’t listen and his hand finds an old bust and he swings it right against Nightmare’s skull. A loud crack of stone and bones as the bust falls to pieces.
Silence before shock overtakes any emotion Ccino feels. Ccino rushes over as Nightmare slowly rises to his full height. His new tendrils sharpening and rising themselves.
Ccino gets to them and stands between them again “No! Both of you stop that. Dream! You know better than attacking your brother.” He shoots Dream a look.
Dream shakes as tears run down his angry face “He stole my future!”
Ccino shoots him a disapproving look “And you just hit him with a stone bust.” He sighs as turns towards the door to see it slightly open. Of course this guy is listening in. Whatever! Ccino speaks loudly “Cadet Rogers. Bring Dream to his room and stand guard. Make sure no one can bother the prince as the prince remains inside the room.”
Dream sputters “You can’t! You can’t do that!”
Ccino gives him a disapproving look “You are hurting. I know that. But you hurting is not an excuse to hurt others. You know your brother better than anyone and you should know that he would never hurt you unless he had a very good reason for it or had to. Instead of trying to communicate you attacked him. For this reason it is best to separate you two while we move on with the coronation.”
Dream shakes in rage as he looks down “I was supposed to be king.”
Ccino doesn’t feel good about this. But too much is counting on this. They can work on mending their relationship when Nightmare has the crown and people remain loyal. Than they can talk and relax. Cadet Rogers takes the prince away to his room and Ccino turns to Nightmare.
He only now realises that he had his back to Nightmare the whole time. That he had his back to someone who had his tendrils sharpened moments ago. But Nightmare looks calm and… he is leaning against the hand Ccino had held out to signal Nightmare to stay back. Ccino hadn’t even noticed as he tried to manage Dream.
Ccino checks his outfit once more before checking the skull. He can’t see anything. The goop is all liquid and hiding everything and Ccino isn’t sure if he can wipe it away safely “Nightmare? Does it hurt?” They are alone now. Ccino is too distraught to bother with titles unless he has to. Which he will have to in a few minutes.
Nightmare keeps staring at his hand “He… attacked me…”
Ccino frowns and nods “I know…  I am sorry…” he should have expected something like this. He should have made sure they were both safe. He just… he hadn’t thought… He should have considered this a possibility as Dream had been hurt by this.
Nightmare shakes slightly.
Ccino feels so bad for this “Nightmare. I know this is a lot but we can’t wait. People are waiting and have high expectations. You need to be crowned. Do you understand?”
Nightmare is quiet for a moment before nodding.
Ccino sighs “Good… good.” He makes sure to stand tall “Let’s get to work.” And he leads Nightmare out.
-----
Ccino is exhausted. The whole day had been exhausting and Ccino isn’t even sure if he can still recall everything that happened. Ccino just…
He just wants to sleep.
He rolls up in his bed. Now dressed in PJs as he tugs his blanket around. It is much too late for him. But he will need to be up early tomorrow to help Night- their king get ready for his first official day as king. Not to forget he needs to visit prince Dream and make sure he is okay.
Ccino is so tired and-
A knock on his door.
Ccino frowns. That is unusual. He walks towards his door and glances through the keyhole. He stares in shock before opening the door wide and bowing “My king. What do I own you this visit?”
His king stands there. A frown on his face “My… My mother’s room feels… wrong… I can’t sleep there. Dream hates me and does not wish to share his room. I wanted to sleep with you.” He still struggles with his sentences.
Ccino feels his soul freeze for a moment with the last part but he can see Nightmare means it literally. He doesn’t want to be alone.
Ccino isn’t sure why he can still read Nightmare just like he used to. You would think that Ccino lost that skill when Nightmare gained a new body. But even if the body is different. Even with his face being different. Ccino can still read him like he always does.
Ccino nods “Of course. Please come in.” he holds the door open and Nightmare walks in. He stands in the middle of the room seemingly lost.
Right. He doesn’t have any clothes in his new size. Ccino adds that to the mental to do list for tomorrow as well. Making sure their king has clothes that actually fit him. For now Ccino opens his drawer and searches it. He has a few oversized dress shirts and hopes it is big enough. He hands one over to Nightmare.
Nightmare looks at it before undressing and dressing in the clothing item. Ccino grabbed a spare pillow from the cabinet in the hall before throwing that on his bed as well.
It takes a moment but then they are both in Ccino’s bed. Nightmare gives a full body shudder and tugs his face and skull right by Ccino’s neck and shoulder.
Ccino has the strongest sense of déjà vu. Of when Nightmare was much smaller and he had night terrors. How Nightmare would use the servants tunnels to get to his room and climb into his bed at night. How they would make little blanket forts on days when everyone told Nightmare he wasn’t good enough. How Nightmare would climb into his bed when he was sad.
Nightmare… Nightmare may not look or feel or sound like the Nightmare Ccino knows. But it is still Nightmare. It is still his little Nighty.
Ccino hugs the large being closer “Sshh… it is okay… I am here.”
Nightmare shakes and shudders “Please… Please stay… I am so scared…”
Ccino tightens his hold on the other and holds him close “I am here Nighty. I swear on my soul.”
That seems to do it as Nightmare just holds unto him tightly. Tight enough that Ccino can feel his nails grip into his back. Ccino can feel those new tendrils circle him and hold him closely. Ccino just keeps holding unto Nightmare, keeps him in an embrace.
Eventually Nightmare falls asleep. Ccino can’t even find it in himself to care about the rumours this will cause. About the rumours that will follow after Nightmare leaves Ccino’s room.
Ccino doesn’t care. He will help and assist Nightmare. Everything will be alright.
#utmv#NewAgeAU#nightmare sans#dream sans#ccino sans#gifted drabble#writing#And we did it!#Important to note. that after a few weeks. once things are calm again.#that Ccino realises… that the thought to leave and escape in the confusion never even acquired#Even if he realises later on that that would ahve been the easiest moment to leave#or after when nightmare was still shakey in comment.#a lot of servants and maids left in this period.#And Nightmare fired even more.#I think that in the few weeks after nightmare was made king. After he banished dream.#There were VERY FEW people still working in the castle.#barely anyone. a skeleton crew if you will (I will leave for my bad joke)#As for what happened to captain falks?#Ngihtmare did not take kindly to this person coming to him and suggesting ccino should be whipped for taking comment for a while there.#spot. we never decided if nightmare did or did not kill people so what happened to these type of people is still a bit of a mystery#sera also was very quickly fired. she disresepcted ccino once when nightmare was near and she was banished.#I do imagine that for a while ccino was pretty much every ruling position in the name of nightmare. as he got himself together.#so yeah if ccino didn't trust you? you were out. banished. fired. everything.#ccino had so much power. He did nothing with it aside from trying to get everything ready for nightmare.#There is a reason. why these two trust each other.#and also why captain rogers respects ccino so much.#because he saw ALL of it. from the start.#This guy saw this servant rush to stop a fight between a newly made god and his brother. and succeed.#then managed to get everything back in order and going.#That sticks with you.
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adhd-merlin · 8 months ago
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colin... colin morgan... where are you
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So initially this was supposed to happen after I did pre-canon stuff for at least Marcus and Audrey but I have more motivation right now to do this so now presenting Pre-Canon (and touching on a bit of canon and post canon) headcanons for Percy Weasley:
Despite what others thought, Percy was the second parent to the family and not Bill. When Molly lost her brothers, she ended up in a state where she only managed consistently to be able to cook dinner. Percy decided to take the parenting responsibility on himself, which Bill was thankful for, partly to try and avoid processing the loss of his uncles. Since he couldn't really do much in terms of cooking, Percy enlisted Charlie to help make food. A system got formed that involved Percy parenting his younger siblings that stayed even after Molly got more involved and Charlie left for Hogwarts. The system only got thrown out the window and into a pit of fire when Percy left for Hogwarts.
Percy saw his Uncle Fabion and Uncle Gideon as father figures more than he saw Arthur as a father figure. This happened because Percy was around his uncles more than his father during the war, which left parenting Percy to Fabion and Gideon more often than not. After the war, Arthur tried to parent Percy, but Percy refused to let it happen partly because he saw it as Arthur trying to take over Fabion's and Gideon's jobs. Arthur gave up trying to parent Percy, and their bond never really developed much even as Percy got older.
Despite looking up to both Bill and Charlie, Percy was always closer with Charlie. Besides Charlie helping Percy parent their younger siblings, both found each other the best to listen to each others rambles. As a result, Charlie knows a lot of magical laws and Percy knows a lot about a lot of magical creatures.
Percy looked like a mini male version of Molly with some of Arthur's attributes. As a result, Percy looked really similar to Fabion and Gideon. After the first wizarding war, it Molly a while to be able to look at Percy because half of the time when she looked at Percy she would see one of her brothers.
Percy's accidental magic was illusion and apperation based. Whenever Percy would read a book to one of his younger siblings, there was a chance that an illusion would encompass the room and change depending on what the part of the book Percy was currently reading was describing. As for Percy's accidental apparitions, when the Burrow would get too loud, Percy would usually apparate to the roof of the Burrow. If the rest of his siblings were playing Quidditch when it happened, however, Percy would apperate to Muriel's house because her house was always quieter than the Burrow was when Quidditch was involved. With gaining a wand, the illusions were harder to stop than the apperations.
Percy has an attachment to stuffed animals. It started with a black dragon plushie he named Nyx that ended up being one of the last things Fabion and Gideon gave him. Throughout his time at Hogwarts, mostly during the first four years, the most common gift Penny, Oliver, Audrey, and Marcus got Percy was some sort of plushie, which led to Percy gaining a collection of something he had almost all positive memories towards. Percy gained a Gryffindor coloured dragon plushie to add to the collection from the twins after the war as a gift meant to try and start to make amends.
Percy and the twins got along better than they did in canon before any of them went to Hogwarts. The twins jealously of several of their siblings that weren't Percy (mostly Ron) for taking Percy's attention from them meant it always had some cracks. It only started to get bad the summer after Percy's first year, and the twins started to aim their pranks at Percy to try and keep Percy's nkw more limited attention in them
Percy didn't initially want to go into a job at the MoM. If you asked what job Percy wanted to do before Percy's third year, you'd get an answer along the lines of a creative job or a job that involves divination.
Percy used to do art. His best part of the process was the sketch and the line art. That's not to say he was bad at colour. It's just that he was more experienced with sketches than full coloured pieces. He decided to hide his supplies after Molly, either accidentally or on purpose, burned some sketches. Percy stopped after Charlie accidentally caused a fire in his room that took most of Percy's art supplies and some of Charlie's school stuff. He only got back into it after the war aince it helped work through some feelings
Percy was the only one who got told in person about Charlie going to Romania. Charlie's plan was to explain that he was going to Romania and then apologise for destroying Percy's supplies. Percy lashed out and stormed off from the conversation before Charlie could apologise. As a result, Charlie decided to explain the Romania bit through a letter (rip Bill's mail that month) and apologise for the fire to Percy in a separate letter.
When Bill left, Percy was the one that sent him letters. Initially, it started as two letters a month, which capped at a side of parchment. After the twins showed up to Hogwarts, it became once a month letters that occasionally needed a second sheet of parchment. The letters turned to only happening in extreme cases of concern or in case of celebatory news when Ron started Hogwarts before being cut entirely after the fight with Arthur.
Percy can see thestrals thanks to Fabion and Gideon. He had a breakdown about it when he and Oliver got in their dorms that night. The breakdown was fuelled by every emotion that Percy bottled up since the Weasleys lost Fabion and Gideon.
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johnsspacesuittight · 1 year ago
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OOOOO Spike being in love with Buffy is fucking incredible, it's beautiful it's-
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fun-k-boards · 10 months ago
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Whenever people fail to understand that what we as an audience know is sometimes entirely different from what the characters know I get genuinely heated I need to put the phone down and just breathe in a serene forest or something because otherwise my blood pressure would get to a dangerous level
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fluentisonus · 1 year ago
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the bastard himself
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amethystina · 5 months ago
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i still like your idea of the fanfic where, soohyun gets injured but doesn't die, and the rest is canon but gaon doesn't know yohan is alive... You put it in one of the chapters note (i forgot which chapter) i am a sucker for angst and i like to give myself sadness lol... I can imagine how broken and angst ridden gaon would be. It would be a devastating sight but also delicious.
It is a fascinating thought! But, admittedly, also the idea I'm the least likely to write out of all the ones I've come up with — for the very same reason why you like it x'D
I'm really not a fan of angst and sadness and, sometimes, I can look at a story idea and realise that it wouldn't be fun for me to write. And this one is, unfortunately, one of those. Because it would focus so much on Ga On's grief and his failing relationship with Soo Hyun and I just... don't want to write that?
Sure, it would be fascinating, but also way too depressing for me. Partly because I don't see an easy solution. Like, even if Ga On eventually finds out that Yo Han is alive, just how bad would he feel? How bad would they both feel? And just how much more pain and anguish would they have to wade through? Would they even be willing to try?
Basically, now that I've had time to think about it further, I've realised that it just doesn't work. The math isn't mathing in this scenario, at least not for a fic written in my fairly realistic and down-to-earth style.
Because it would, quite frankly, be easier for them to just cut their losses and continue living their separate lives. I think the hurt would be too much for either of them to come to terms with and reconcile. So, on top of being a very depressing story overall, it wouldn't have a happy ending, either. Which means it immediately gets disqualified because I only want happy endings xD
I wouldn't be able to give it a happy ending with a clear conscience because, sure, we all know Yo Han is a vicious asshole and Ga On is good at forgiving him. But this?
Faking his own death for months, maybe years, and not telling Ga On about it, instead leaving him to grieve — on top of all the guilt he's already feeling? And for what? Because Yo Han was hurt? Because he was jealous of Soo Hyun? Because he wanted to punish Ga On?
Well, Yo Han would certainly achieve that.
Ga On would be an absolute wreck.
And, to be entirely honest with you, I think Ga On would be too broken after spending only god knows how long thinking Yo Han is dead because of him. Because, let's face it — that's what Ga On would believe.
I wouldn't know how to fix that. I don't want to fix it because if Yo Han truly did all that to Ga On — something so vindictive and cruel — I'd side with Soo Hyun and say that it's probably best for the two of them to stay apart. Because, clearly, they're going to destroy each other eventually. Especially since Ga On would most likely become suicidal again. And Yo Han must have predicted that might happen but still chose not to tell Ga On about being alive.
And, sure, I understand being hurt and angry — Yo Han has no obligation to forgive Ga On for the things he did. But to intentionally choose to put another person — someone you care about — in a situation where you know they might end up wanting to take their own life? Just to get revenge?
Unforgivable, in my opinion.
But that leads us to the part where we also have to ask if Yo Han truly would do that and, personally, I don't think so. Maybe that's me giving Yo Han too much grace, but I really don't think he'd be that cruel considering how much he cares about Ga On. Maybe he wants Ga On to suffer a bit, sure, but not die.
So, in the end, the whole thing is a bit of a moot point x'D
The scenario doesn't work with how I choose to interpret these characters.
I think a more likely outcome if Soo Hyun doesn't die is that Yo Han would still do all the things he does in the drama, including telling Ga On that he's alive, but then go radio silent. Like, go to Switzerland and just focus on himself and Elijah. But do it more firmly than in Who Holds the Devil when he always had plans to return. Here he wouldn't.
Which is painful, too, but not quite as bad as "I'm knowingly letting you think you had a hand in killing me." And Ga On would still wallow and he'd still realise that his relationship with Soo Hyun isn't what he thought it would be, but without the looming threat of Ga On's (in my opinion) likely suicide. They might actually be able to reconcile eventually.
But, even then, I'm not sure if this is a story I would want to write. At least not right now when I'm already struggling with both my physical and mental well-being. It just wouldn't be healthy for me and, most likely, not something I'd enjoy. Some people get a feeling of release and catharsis from writing about difficult things, but I'm not one of them. I just end up feeling worse because I have to immerse myself in the misery to a point where I just sink even deeper into it.
So while I agree that this is an interesting and quite dramatic scenario, I've realised it's just not for me. In more ways than one xD
But if someone else wants to write it, then go for it! :D
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iffeelscouldkill · 4 months ago
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Lost in a Familiar Place pt. 6
(Aka the ‘Nicholas never applied to Kings Row’ AU)
A/N: This is the second-to-last instalment of this fic! So the next update will be the final one, although it's shaping up to be twice as long as the other chapters, so... it'll be like a double chapter. But I'll post it as one thing xD
In which Nicholas spends time with Eugene and Bobby, and Harvard works some things out.
Previous chapters: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
“So you were there because Harvard just invited you to watch practice on the spot,” Eugene summarised, as Bobby sipped his smoothie and listened wide-eyed. When Bobby had said ‘get smoothies’, Nicholas had assumed they were going into town – but Kings Row students weren’t allowed off-campus during term-time without special permission.
Instead, they were at a little shop on campus with tables outside that sold “healthy” smoothies. Bobby described them as “not too bad”; Nicholas took one mouthful and didn’t know what to think. Maybe they were an acquired taste.
“And then,” Eugene continued, “you mouthed off at Seiji Katayama-”
“Not mouthed off,” Nicholas objected, laughing. “I was just saying that I saw-”
“-holes in his defence, yeah; I’m pretty sure that counts as mouthing off to someone like Seiji,” Eugene said. “You did that, and then Coach Williams was like, ‘Hey, why not let this random guy borrow some gear and join in?’”
Nicholas grinned and shrugged. “It sounds weird, I know, but I guess she knew me from Regionals? She saw my match against Kyle.” He grimaced and played with his straw. “Not the greatest show of my skills, but I’m getting better all the time.”
“I can’t believe this all happened because you hooked up with Aiden,” Bobby exclaimed, sounding thrilled and a little scandalised. “What was that like, by the way? I’ve always wondered. Is he a good kisser?”
“Uh,” Nicholas thought about it. “Yeah, not bad.” He shrugged one shoulder. “So – does Seiji not hang out with you guys after practice?”
He caught Bobby and Eugene trading a brief look of amusement, although he didn’t know exactly why.
“He’s pretty closed-off,” Bobby said. “We have invited him, but – he’s so driven. It doesn’t seem like he has much time for anything social.” He smiled, apparently wowed by idea of being so dedicated to fencing that it was all you ever did. “Eugene has talked to him, haven’t you, Eugene?”
“Uh, not much,” Eugene said. “Just a few times in practice. He’ll critique your form – whether you want it or not, usually. He did give me some good advice about protein shakes once, though.”
Nicholas thought about Seiji’s laser focus when he fenced, the relentless way that he won point after point. In truth, Nicholas wished he could be more like that. He’d thought that he was motivated to better himself, but compared to Seiji, he wasn’t serious at all. That drive, that sheer determination – it was what made Seiji a champion.
A thoughtful silence descended for a bit before Nicholas cast around for a change of subject. “So – what’s it like, being at Kings Row?” he asked. “I’ve always kind of wondered what boarding school is like. Are they super strict?”
Bobby’s eyes lit up. “It’s great! Sure, it’s kind of formal, but there’s a lot of fun stuff, too. Most of the fencers are in the same dorm…”
Nicholas listened as Bobby and Eugene told tales of assemblies and study hall, sneaking extra food from the canteen, sharing care packages from home and doing makeovers (that one was mostly Bobby).
“The dress code is strict,” Eugene complained. “Plus, you have different types of uniform that you have to wear for different things. Like sports class, or assembly.”
“Why?” Nicholas asked.
Eugene talked about cutting class when he was inducted into the team and sneaking out to the fencing clubhouse for a secret feast and team pledge. He joked about his ‘long road’ to making the team at Kings Row, trying out every year until he achieved his goal. Bobby excitedly explained why he wanted to be a fencer, and talked about his roommate, Dante, who claimed he wasn’t interested in fencing (yet hadn’t missed one of Bobby’s tryout matches).
Nicholas listened in fascination as he finished his smoothie. Truthfully, apart from the rules and the weird dress code, it sounded… fun. It was clear that the senior fencers were good guys, and that everyone at Kings Row looked out for each other even if there was some friendly competition.
And the fencing facilities… Bobby and Eugene had talked about Kings Row’s terrible track record in major competitions, but Nicholas could only dream of training somewhere like the spacious salle they’d fenced in today. For a moment, he tried to imagine it, picturing himself in a team uniform, standing in the middle of the salle, épée in hand… and a powerful wave of longing swept over him that made his breath catch. God, he wanted that so much.
He realised that Bobby and Eugene had both fallen quiet and were looking at him, although Eugene broke eye contact when Nicholas looked up, tipping his cup to drain his smoothie. Bobby smiled gently.
“You know, I’m pretty sure that Kings Row offers a fencing scholarship,” he said. “Did you ever think about trying out?”
“I don’t… Uh, I’m not really… I dunno,” Nicholas admitted, unable to muster up his usual reasoning. “It’s too late now, I guess.”
“Well, hey, if you’re ever down for getting your ass whooped in a practice match-” Eugene nudged Nicholas’ arm with a fist – “you know where to find me.”
Bobby grinned brightly at him. “Yeah, maybe we could hang out over break!”
Nicholas swallowed and smiled at them both. “That would be cool,” he said.
*
Harvard paced back and forth in the shadow of the Kings Row library building. He shouldn’t be out past curfew; as team Captain, he had a responsibility to set a good example. (Granted, he and Aiden had done it a few times in the past – more than a few, really).
But he couldn’t go back to his and Aiden’s shared dorm room. Aiden had set him a challenge to figure out what he meant by “it doesn’t do to get too attached”. He’d promised to tell Harvard the answer if Harvard couldn’t work it out, but Harvard instinctively knew that needing Aiden to tell him would be a kind of failure. And this was Aiden. His best friend. Someone he knew better than anyone else in the world, and vice versa. There was no way he wouldn’t be able to figure this out.
So, what had Aiden actually said? Harvard had asked him why he didn’t try properly as part of the team, and Aiden had responded by saying that it wasn’t good to get attached. Harvard knew that Aiden had issues with commitment. His home life had never been stable, and his dad had never offered consistent affection or emotional attention, instead thinking that throwing money around would substitute for a total lack of investment in his son’s life.
So, Aiden rejected people before they could reject him, never getting too close to anyone (except for Harvard, because Harvard refused to act like everyone else. Even when Aiden sometimes made that difficult).
But it couldn’t only be that, because Aiden knew that Harvard knew about his flaky tendencies; that wasn’t a secret. It had to be something more than that. Anyway, Aiden hadn’t always been as inconsistent as he was now – it had been a gradual thing. At the beginning, Harvard remembered, Aiden had been as dedicated as he was: showing up to every practice, doing drills and working at new moves alongside the rest of the team. Harvard recalled how much Elias, the then-captain, had liked him.
Then he’d started skipping out on the odd practice, claiming he couldn’t possibly meet his dates at any other time. When Harvard pressed him on it, Aiden had brushed him off, saying that he didn’t need all those extra practices to wipe the floor with his opponents. This was, admittedly, true (at least at the level that Kings Row competed at), and he still came through for the matches, so Harvard dropped it. But it had stung.
When he was captain, he told himself, he wouldn’t let it slide. But it was Aiden, and so… he had. Harvard sighed at himself, thinking about it. Aiden had always been his weak spot, and he’d always been able to push past the lines that Harvard tried to draw in a way that no-one else could. Whether it was skipping out on team practice… or bringing dates into their room. That one had always got his back up. The dorm room was their space, the place where they lounged around together and ate cupcakes and watched old swordfighting movies side by side.
Harvard had tried to be okay with it, telling himself that Aiden might be serious about one of these guys, and so he should get used to having them around. But Aiden never was. Harvard took Aiden's flings more seriously than Aiden did.
Aiden could never bring himself to be serious about anything, Harvard knew. He’d stopped expecting it ages ago. So, he wasn’t sure why he couldn’t chalk all of this up to Aiden being Aiden and move on.
He wanted Aiden to commit to the team, but… it wasn’t just that. Fencing had always been something that they’d done together. Being on the team, going to matches and commentating on the other fencers, watching old movies and tournament footage… Harvard had been surprised to hear Aiden say that he joined the team for Harvard because he hadn’t thought that Aiden felt the same – but fencing was their thing for Harvard too.
He had wanted Aiden to come through not for the team, not really; but for him. And when he hadn’t… Harvard had felt like he was an idiot to care as much as he did.
Harvard stared off into the distance, rubbing absently at his breastbone. He thought about the last time that he and Aiden had fenced a match against each other, during team tryouts. Harvard had enjoyed most of his matches during tryouts, even amidst the pressure. Eugene had improved so much; fencing Seiji had been a refreshing challenge, despite the stress of knowing he’d lose. And he always had fun fencing Kally, who was very tactical – a bit like Aiden.
But fencing Aiden had been… So much better than any of those matches. Harvard remembered the way Aiden tied his hair up before the match, since it was now long enough to go in a ponytail. It was a bit mesmerising, watching him flick it into place. He’d grinned, and Aiden had smiled, and it was like it had always been between them – familiar, but somehow unexpected.
They’d begun, and Aiden had fenced defensively at first, so much so that Harvard had raised an eyebrow at him. “Are we going to really fence, here?” he’d asked, and Aiden had responded with this sharp grin, and then they were fencing.
Harvard was used to this version of Aiden that he saw during fencing matches – particularly during that match against Seiji – who was all sharp edges, quicksilver wit and cutting tongue, never in the same place for too long. He turned into that person, too, when he broke up with someone. Harvard thought of it as Aiden’s defensive strategy – a way of keeping people at a distance. Of punishing them if they got too close. It made sense that this would apply as much to dating as it did to fencing.
But when the two of them fenced, Aiden was just… Aiden. The way that Harvard knew him – funny, quick, clever, his feigned carelessness disguising how much he really did care, deep down. His brow furrowed in thought while he fenced Harvard, and at one point Harvard had made a joke, some dumb reference to one of their old swordfighting movies, and Aiden had laughed openly. And Harvard had thought, There you are.
Aiden gave him a strange look, and for a moment Harvard feared the words had come out of his mouth. “What?” Aiden asked.
“I… nothing. I miss this,” Harvard had said. And then, quieter, “I miss this you.”
Aiden had looked startled, and Harvard hurriedly put his mask back on and took up a stance. They’d fenced the rest of the match, Harvard had won, and things had pretty much been normal between them. But Harvard had thought that Aiden had looked preoccupied, afterwards.
“It doesn’t do to get too attached.” Without realising it, Harvard began pacing again, more quickly. He was suddenly looking at everything in a different light.
It had never just been about fencing – it was about fencing and them. Aiden had pulled away from fencing and pulled away from Harvard because that was what he always did – to keep people at arm’s length, to keep from showing how much he cared. To protect himself. Because– because–
Harvard thought about Aiden’s shocked look when Harvard had said, “I miss this you.” He thought about Aiden running his hands through blond hair to tie it up out of the way, wisps escaping from his ponytail as he fenced, his blue eyes calculating, a knowing smirk dancing around his lips. He thought about Aiden’s laugh when they fenced.
He thought about flopping down next to Aiden on their beds, arms pressed together – about leaning into him during a movie night, trusting that Aiden would be there, solid, next to him. Harvard could vividly picture Aiden’s smile; the angle of his jaw. In his mind’s eye, he turned his head, and–
Oh. “Oh,” Harvard said out loud, staring into the distance. Then he bolted around the side of the building. He needed to find Aiden immediately.
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immortalsins · 4 days ago
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never goibg to the club again for real this time
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girlivealwaysbean · 4 months ago
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pata hai last kuch din i was very busy with my project kyunki final dena tha and binding karni thi etc to wo karwayi then i went to the bookfair bekaar tha then parso submit karne jaa rahi to subah accident hogaya (bhai ki bike skid hogayi and we fell down) and now i have a big ass blue bruise on my upper thigh and my parents don't even know lmao and kal ek science conference thi to i had to sit in an auditorium for 6 hours listening to accomplished people speak. that's what you missed now your turn
omg i knew everything in this except for the accident cause i stalk your blog vigorously everyday are you okay!!!!!!!!!! did you get tetanus shots!!!!!!!!!! also on your upper thigh oh no that's where future jiju is supposed to write MINE na as per our beloved song guilty as sin?
#did u have fun at the conference it must've been cool huh women in stem and all that#bookfair being bad is so sucky i was so excited for you to go i thought you'd send pictures too of books we like#also u already know everything i posted everything and every thought#i ate chinese but it didn't feel that good because my sister isn't here and we didn't eat it together watching#koffee or splitsvilla and i realised that it's not just the chinese food it's the whole hanging out that i love sm :((#kal well i told you pata hai the brownie place we met it's kinda new and cool types so uske bathroom mein#there was a button and it said press at your own risk and when we did it became a dj like the lights went out and#there when flashing spinning disco lights and party songs were playing mere mein wo aaya hum toh naye andaz hai apna purana#it was sooo cool im adding it to the list of places you'll visit when u come here!!!!!!!#also the food was soooo shockingly reasonably priced everything was under 200 rs!!!!! which is big for a dessert place here#and like great quantity great taste too my stupid people from office used to say it's awesome but i didn't believe them and never tried it#because they're all losers lol but i grudgingly admit that they were right#also ummmm hmm okay pata hai i realised ki oh okay im happy with who i am#like bachpan mein i used to feel very sad and loser like because dad was too strict to let me go out raat ko and everyone in school would#go to this club we went to kal and i always felt i was missing out and i wanted to be all cool and fun too#but it was kinda so boring and normal and i was like wow okay i didn't miss out i was spending days and nights reading books being in#fandoms and i was actually very happy!!!!! so like yay idk small thing bt yk i realised that oh it was okay and everything will be okay too#i kinda want to talk to that guy now like i weirdly feel like im longing for what could've been? which is ridiculous because#we were 11 and i barely talked to him back then because shy and friends would tease and i didn't realise it was a crush#i don't want to DATE him because like tbh i already know we're very different people but like wouldn't it be fun to idk make out once#then i got the urge to download dating app but i resisted the urge and won i don't think im made for casual things#me and my bestie were laughing about this yesterday too she was like i just don't understand how people can have sex one day and then#not give a fuck about each other the next day like idk if we have sex im having your kids and i was like ikrrrr like bhai sex is toh very#big im going to be attached if we hug i literally did!!!!! so we decided no more casual/situationships for us#phew okay more rambling on whatsapp love u bye this became too long#saumyuuuuuu
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cuteniarose · 6 months ago
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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bibuckleykinard · 6 months ago
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how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence
like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit
#discourse#long post#its genuinely erased so much of my enjoyment of 911blr knowing i have to check accounts or risk seeing bullying/hate#l like its an odd feeling to know that so many people in the same fandom as you actively hold hate or find hate funny against your communit#like tired of people saying others are too sensitive because we dont want to hear or see a person say they want to hurt themself or others#like sorry i put in the work everyday to not let my mental health backslide and to enjoying being alive and accept my queerness#while others seemingly have not#and i know the content i post/share is not all in the same circles as that certain blog and i hate that it still grinds my gears but#its so frustrating to see the cruel glee people have#saying things they would never say to anyone's face irl and only to other blindly devoted/similar bullies#like do these people realise that they are on a razor's edge between 'ironic jokes' and just outright bigotry and threats - like do they#literally the only thing seperating That and conservative bigots is that the bigots are honest about their hatred towards minorities#like a lot of people in the fandom seemingly still need to deal with a lot of intenalised homophobia/racism and just outright hate-#especially regarding queer men and men of colour#because i can not be emphasise enough#It is NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY to be a fully grown adult that actively derives joy from the idea of enacting hate crimes#like you can hate tommy you can want him off the show even want him to die like weird but go off#but its such a next step to unprompted talk about [a character i dislike/hate/dont ship/disrupts my fanon endgame] in derogatory ways -#with rhetoric that straight up is out of terf/rel. right/homophobic/racists bigots and evokes violent hate-crimes......#well i feel sorry for those people cause what a miserable life to spend so much of it unable to enjoy your own life that you target others#anyways I know this is too long but I'm just a very tired man who has studied history and education and working with kids i have seen it -#too many times- harmful words coming from harmful environments or creating harmful actions and thereby perpetuating the cycle of violence#also not super relavent but as Latino Australian i am genuinely appauled at how many people have in their bio they are also Australian-#while actively liking/reblogging and engaging with post that find homophobic violence a funny haha joke - as if activist in our country -#aren't actively trying to dismantle homophobic and transphobic laws regarding issues like conversion therapy#like I know professors that actively got fired for being gay while teaching in religious education context - and its still happening!#so for people to forget so quickly what progress has been made and how much it took and how easy it is to loose - disappointing#(and its the same people who wanna pretend mardi gras is nothing but a party as if 78rs didn't risk their jobs/safety/lives)
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cassmouse · 2 months ago
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Come to think of it, I really don't think watching Sweetpea immediately followed by Yellowjackets was good for my mental health
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