#so so tmi in these tags im so sorry
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never goibg to the club again for real this time
#so so tmi in these tags im so sorry#some guy was fully getting his hand inside of me on the dancefloor and at the start#i was like alright#ok#this is what u do i guess#VERY quickly realised i was not enjoying it#tried to pull his hand out multiple times#he would leave it a bit then start up again#i know i could have left idk why i didnt#felt pathetic to say i didn't like it#so i tried to !!!!!#didn't work#at the end he asked if he could come back with me#i apologised and said no#he asked again#i said no again (had already got his number)#asked a third time whilst i was leaving#and he followed us all the way to the chip shop#stood right behind me in there#me and 2 friends left to wait outside#he came outside#we started walking and jumped in an uber#i could have handled that better but now i feel odd#im so asexual JFNFJFJFJJF#have scrubbed every inch of myself in the shower#but there are marks on me from him#lmao#and i cant get the essence of him away from me#im soooooo#sick of this
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stepbro what're you doinggg
sorry im like super behind on a lot of my classes cuz i was super sick the past couple days so i think im losing my mind (fun fact: absolutely bombed an exam i thought i did well on so fuck me ig)
a lot of you are fans of my step/fauxcest peter and caleb stuff so i wanna write more for my silly little freaks (both you guys and them) to add some variety ill be doing some stepdad stuff becuz... i can... so ive written for 4 characters and ill be posting them each day or so after some final touchesss teehee so enjoy this one!!
18+!!!! minors dni!!!!!
"bully" reader x "victim" stepbro!peter parker (all adults in this fic!!)
tw // yandere, stepcest, noncon, peter is a little lying shit, bullying, general yandere/toxic shit!!! (lmk if im missing anything pls)
"how many times have i told you to be nice to him?" may and your father glare at you as peter stands behind them, watching you carefully.
"he started it!" you point at peter with a glare. your dad rolls his eyes and may sighs, disappointed.
"(y/n), even the school told us you've been bullying peter." you stay silent, “getting him shoved into lockers? stealing his things? throwing food at him? anything ringing a bell?” your dad reads off the letter from the school.
you stand, indignant, "he was telling his friends that we're dating! he's spreading rumors, so yeah! maybe i did “bully” him, but he's a lying sack of shit that deserves it." you seethe, practically spitting at peter.
your dad gives you a disapproving stare at your last few words, but may's eyes widen as she turns to peter, "is that true, peter?"
peter stutters, eyes flickering between the three of you, "i didn't- i would never-"
your dad raises a hand, making peter pause, "peter. we need the truth. all may and i want is for the two of you to a family."
peter hesitates before sighing, dejectedly, "i used to have a crush on (y/n). i was just telling a couple of my friends about it. someone must've heard wrong." he trails off, but seeing his aunt's bewildered expression continues, "i don't anymore! just you know... i did."
"no! he's lying!" you try to defend yourself, but may exhales in relief and your father looks at you, disappointed once more.
"(y/n), this could've been solved easily if you had just talked it out with your step-brother." you try to speak, but he talks over you, "go to your room. i'm so disappointed in you." you scoff and stomp off. you hear may lecturing peter about letting rumors spread and you slam the door closed.
night falls and the house was quiet once more. you lay in bed, letting your tears fall freely. your window squeaks and you sit up, startled.
"i told you no one would take your side, (y/n)." he speaks, voice muffled by the mask.
"get out of my room, peter." you spit, teeth clenched. he scoffs. "just cause i said i wouldn't tell them about spider-man, doesn't mean i won't scre-" your words get caught off in shock as webs plaster your mouth shut.
“god, shut the fuck up, (y/n).” peter pulls off his mask, annoyance clear on his face. he steps closer and you scooch back in your bed. your back hits the headboard and you eye the door, seeing if you could make it. before you could react, peter was on top of you, forcing you onto your back. he kisses down your neck and presses his lips to your collarbone. his tongue drags across your skin, forcing a whimper from you. he pulls your waist closer to his, pressing himself against you. peter whispers into the deepening kiss, “don’t bother trying to run, (y/n). you don’t have the power here… i do.”
#minors dni#ALL ADULTS IN THIS FIC!!!! ALL 18 YEAR OLDS#tw noncon#like and reblog <3#yandere#yandere x reader#x reader#gender neutral reader#tasm peter parker#tw stepcest#stepcest cw#stepbro!peter parker#yandere peter parker#yandere peter parker x reader#peter parker is an asshole#reader technically does bully him#but they're justified kinda#for those of you who read my tags i wanna warn u guys now that its only getting darker from here... like every fic gets more fucked up ngl#im abt to have my period so the horniness just jumps out ngl#sorry that was a tmi lol
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me when i want to accept writing commissions vs the depression thats been eating me inside and out
#i like#offered comms once#but now i have venmo and i know how to use it#but like#if i opened them back up i just#i dont know if id even have the motivation to write anyway#not to just traumadump in the tags lol but everythings felt so difficult lately#i feel so empty and not real#every day i struggle with the intense urge to just delete everything ive ever written#every account i own#and just disappear forever#and like. im not good at making connections with people?#so even though ive spiraled into another pit of isolation ive had one person check on me and it was my bf who i talk to every day anyway#and honestly i think the reason im typing this here even though its very tmi is because like#i just need to get stuff out? because maybe getting stuff out will like#help#but i dont know if it will#i started going back to therapy but i dont even know if thatll help#writing is hard#getting up in the morning is hard#breathing is hard#everything just feels so hard and i feel like i have no energy to do anything ever#and its felt like that for months and months but its getting worse as time goes on#anyway uh#im trying not to take my hiatus until february#but i havent been able to write anything in like two weeks#so maybe i wont be able to keep to my super awesome posting schedule and will instead go back to posting things sporadically as i finishthe#which wasnt often nor paced#and typically the thing that keeps me writing is praise (which is unhealthy ik) but uh. ive not been getting a lot of that so its just like#i dont know. sorry
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on the topic of stobin having No Boundaries and because i recently had to experience my period after several months of blissful non-period-ness (healthily and intentionally i promise im not like severely-not-ok):
my lovely only child robin in a household where the women presumably outnumber the man moving in with steve after everything and just. forgetting to take her bloodied panties out of the bathroom sink (the most convenient place to let them soak in cold water before throwing them in the wash) (im hoping to fuckin god here that this is a universal afab experience and not just a me-and-my-sibling-are-strange-fucks thing)
it takes two, mayyybe 3 instances before steves just completely unbothered. hes washed (his own!!) blood out of plenty of clothes at this point and has seen way more gruesome shit than organ lining that at least supposed to leave the body so despite being an amab only child he Does Not Give A Shit. at first he'll just casually remind her its there with that type of euphemism Me and The Girls™ enjoy using to make it sound badass ("Robbie you've got a crime scene left in the bathroom" "sorry ill get it before the police arrive") but after a while it becomes a definitely normal thing so sometimes when robins having a rough week he'll clean it up real quick and not mention it, because after all its just blood and at least no one has to go to the hospital for it this time
#tw blo0d#cw blood#cw periods#tagged blood but its just about periods but also just to he safe#stranger things#steve harrington#platonic stobin#robin buckley#platonic with a capital p#platonic soulmates stobin#maybe im just crazy but when i do occasionally get my period i use reusable pads and just. wash them in the sink#just with my bare hands. i don't know how weird that is or if im just being dramatic but i used to not be able to and now i just do#like its just blood but its also Definitely Not *Just* Blood in there y'know. theres A Texture too.#idk im so so sorry this is probably really weird and tmi im just hoping the little gay people in my phone don't think its too weird#devon thinks sometimes
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horny messaged two people on lex yesterday. as they say....hot girl summer
#one of them is interested but cannot travel or host so were gonna maybe just be friends bc theyre cool?#cannot travel as far away as i am i mean. theyre like an hour away#second person also seems interested but is replying slowly so we will see#text tag#tmi#nice to have people actually respond bc ive been in no response limbo with a couple people#which ive done to others so ig i cant complain#someone messaged me looking to hook up but had ''reiki practitioner'' in their bio and like#im sorry i cant do that
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#tmi tag#a little context if you care to listen 🎶#im 24 n i love living in my own even if i do nothing i kinda feel free yk#at first my mom didn't want me to live alone but she allowed it for a year so i could help her financially#n to finance my driver's license and my car (things she would never have helped me with)#ive been giving her 300€ every month even tho she's far from poor#but now that i have my license she wants me to move back in#she wants me to drive her everywhere take care of her expenses n do all the chores while she does nothing#she's a great woman but as a mom she's the worst i don't even have my own room at her place i either sleep in thr living room or#in her room w her so yeah i have 0 intimacy (+ my sister n brother still live there)#she doesn’t let me have friends n keeps me from having my own personal belongings#n she always has something to say abt my appearance#sorry im talking tm but yeah im going insane n i only have 2 months left n i feel a hole getting bigger in my body every day i woke up#n i kinda want to tell her im not coming back but what if she hates me n causes a scene#mind you all that is sooman fault idc
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do people actually put socks on babies hands to stop them from scratching themselves or is that something i made up at 3am this morning
#lee’s bullshit#TAKE PRECAUTIONS BEFORE READING TAGS FOR TMI#woke up rhythmically carving into my neck which was sooooo fun like ok guess the rash is getting worse#stopped all of my acne topicals for the day which will hopefully help :/ and used hella cortizone before crashing again last night#it feels better but like whatttt the fuck was all that !!!#genuinely excruciating experience good god. im shocked it didnt look awful in the morning.#anyway. good night going to shower or whatever now.#tw body horror#sorry idk what to tag this so so sorry if you did not want to read all that. frankly i did not either
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When I get nice comments from people on my writing, it makes all the times I was mocked as a teenager for being into fandom and bandom and writing smut about boys in said bandoms worth it tbh.
Like 18 year old me writing smutty fanfic at length about boys in pop punk bands is so proud of 32 year old me. She'd probably find the fact I'm trans masc confusing cos I was so far on the closet back then. But hey, my writing has really improved through sheer perseverance and reading/writing lots of smut, lol.
(And yes, I really did write bandom rpf fic and rp for a good 10?? ish years. I'm not precisely proud of it but it did shape my views on fandom generally, rpf, fandom wank and kink, I stand by that.)
#i was once infamous in a youtuber fandom for my piss kink url#if that rings a bell (i had 3k followers so. never know ig) for you im so so so sorry about the whole#yknow#me in my twenties thing#i was goin thru it#i include about the url cos it still makes me laugh that i was so out there about that kink in particular like#25 yo oli how did you amass 3k followers with an omorashi url? the world may never know...#tagging these for safetycand blacklists#kink talk#kink stuff#unsanitary cw#gross cw#tmi cw#idk how to tag this tbh#fandom stuff
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OK so I have an inkling of an idea for a trigun ficlet. A one-shot, really. Not really any plot, but I just have the urge to write my own interpretation of Weird Plant Shit. Like for how much ppl tag this stuff as xeno, most of it's honestly pretty tame. Which kinda makes sense, considering a lot of this is being based off of the plants in stampede, which While uncanny are not NEARLY the amount of inherent horror of the plants in the manga. There's some FREAKY shit going on there. So like. You know. What if I took more inspiration from That for Vash's freaky shit?
#speculation nation#YES this is for a smut idea. dont judge me#ive never posted smut b4 bc ive exclusively been writing akeshu & theyre teenagers#im not interested in writing smut of teenagers#but i have my interests 😭 and i am an undeniable monster fucker. we been knew.#just. vague idea. ppl have run with the plant idea. & id wanna too. but in a different sort of way.#thinking more. venus fly trap kind of situation. NOT easily translatable to human biology#the kinds of shit that may trip even the most adventurous man up. but we all know he would take it in stride in the end.#idfk so much of the allure of this pairing to me is the inherent inhuman nature of vash's physical form. and how that manifests everywhere#the human and the angel. for all that entails.#i dont have an idea for an actual story for these characters yet. my brain is spinning them but it hasnt come up with that yet#but a lil smth self indulgent to just play around with Fun Ideas? i reaaally wanna go for it.#we'll see if i end up writing this. & if i end up posting it.#im both somehow Very solidly kinky and VERY solidly shy about it. aka why i barely post about that kind of stuff.#face in my hands just talking about this here. who knows how i'd fare with posting it.#but if i go thru the trouble of writing it you BET id go thru the trouble of posting it#and you B E T itd be angsty. the inherent longing and unsaid words. what am i if not an unrepentant angst writer lol#thoughts & ideas r spinning. i will have a merry little time.#uhm. do i need to tag this as anything. is this too tmi? i dont even know#WELL if u read the word 'xeno' and keep reading that's on U. sorry#here just in case if ppl r worried i will tag this as#tmi/#sorry lol
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#hiding this in the tags bc it’s kind of embarrassing and i need to get it off my chest#and i could journal about it but i just want someone to see me#sorry for being cringe <333#but i don’t know what the hell i am like i don’t know if i’m even nonbinary anymore and that scares me like being nonbinary felt like coming#home after a long trip#and now i’m having all these thoughts about wanting to be a man? like near tears rn bc i want to be a guy but then when i think of actually#being a guy i freak out a bit#bc i like being seen as feminine too and i know that there are feminine men and they get treated so terribly#and i feel like all the men i see that i want to be like or look like are white! why don’t i see any black trans men like i feel so alone#and i’m scared to look/be openly trans bc there’s so much violence against people like us that it feels safer to just cosplay as a cis woman#even though i’m not#like i don’t want to be a boy but i want to be one and i absolutely don’t want to be a girl but i’d like to be seen as someone sometimes#it’s all very confusing#AND like i know i’m biromantic like im attracted to all genders and people#but im like? am i on the ace spectrum#bc i have a low sex drive am often sex repulsed and will sometimes ‘test’#myself to see if im sexually attracted to people and most of the time it’s like#it’s like meh not really but sometimes im like sure but that’s rarer and rarer these days?? and like. tmi here but i jerk off and enjoy it#so i can’t be asexual right?? i tried looking it up but the articles just confused me#but then i also am like with the right person if i had a connection to them i wouldn’t mind having sex with them! but like. then i think#about actually having to be in a relationship and i’m like gross no but i think that’s just relationship trauma and fear of being#vulnerable#and like i know i don’t HAVE to have a label on my gender or sexuality but for me personally it helps to know What i am#and and i love butches so so so much and if i’m a man how can i love butches? like#it’s all so confusing#i feel like i’m 14 and going through puberty again
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night shift by lucy dacus is so osamu angst coded
True! good idea ;-) i really need to write samu angst soon
#ask n answer#anon!#tmi in the tags going forward u have been warned#lialove#anon im so sorry but i dont listen to lucy dacus but my bf does and once we were making out and it came on and i later learned it’s probabl#a terrible somg to make out to. so thats all i know about night shift lucy dacus
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just had the thought process of "there is absolutely nobody stopping me from peeing in the sink". you will never guess what i just did
#tmi#unsanitary#ask to tag#sorry i cant decide who wouldnt yell at me for telling them this so im letting everyone yell at me
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absolutely fuck my life. fr I can’t with this shit.
#Stomachache is back and Im so tired and hungry but I can’t eat anything bc there’s no room and I am simply not digesting anything and I dont#Know WHY#also dehydrated so that’s great#fuckin awesome#anyways have to wait till tomorrow to see my doctor but fr man what the fuck#anyways sorry yall#probably tmi#i need a talking tag#personal
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Once again smfs knows me so much better than I know myself. I can write it better than you ever felt it. Gonna give my therapist homework to listen to this bc jfc
#like specifically fake out and time to be alive and heaven iowa#those in particular i need to crawl into petes brain and find out how he Knows how i feel when i can fucking put it to words#ive spent ages in therapy trying to get to avross that im not sad and i don't wanna die anymore and thats somehow still sad#and it makes my anxiety worse bc now i have to see the world around me and how it is and realize that despite it all i still dont wanna die#idk#this is probably tmi but Still#like#i knew this stuff before the album ofc but Hearing it puts things in place and i am So unwell aboht it#things to show my therapist lol#shes already read my fics tho so like#nothing nrw#okay these tags are so lomg im so sorry#d rambles
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wanting to be cool and upcycling by sewing patches over tears and permanent stains in my jeans versus most of those tears or stains being in the crotch area meaning any patch will just draw focus to there
#my fave pair is ripped in the knee and im considering leaving it bc like it looks cool or whatever#but they started fraying pretty dramatically around the crotch so now its like :( guess i have no jeans#idk im wondering abt sewing a patch/spare piece of cloth on the inside? like theyre revealing a secret layer? but again worry itll be too#obvious#my other jeans (blue jeans) r unwearable bc i bled through there and they got put into the dryer mistakenly so now the stains r baked in#tmi i guess idk#it taught me to be REALLY careful w dealing w stains immediately so lesson learned#but yeah annoying. now i have no blue jeans and i like my (now frayed at the crotch) black jeans but blue jeans just adds different outfit#options yk#idk. rambling sorry#so yeah i have no other trousers if i give up on the frayed jeans (i dont like sweatpants and my other trousers r too formal for everyday)#sigh. miniskirt season iguess#altho i did just get a maxi skirt..................... maybe i break that out soon (was gonna wait for winter)#ok. sorry for talking so much i LOVE using tags#to be.txt
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