#she doesn’t let me have friends n keeps me from having my own personal belongings
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yasmi · 27 days ago
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issi-loves-dannyric · 7 months ago
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You Belong With Me- Ollie Bearman
a/n: I'm a year older than Ollie so that's why I wrote it. One day this will be taken down as will all my other writings but at least not for a while. (personal choice cause yk work and everything) -Im tagging this as F1 since he's signed to Haas.
Summary: best friends to lovers, Ollie is too dumb to realize he's in love
angst ish with fluff
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Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time
“She’s coming to a race” excitedly says to me while we walk in the paddock. 
“That's great!” I say faking enthusiasm, if he weren’t distracted by the girl he’s talking to he would’ve caught that I wasn’t happy. 
“I think I’m going to ask her out on a real date” he adds making my heart hurt a little more. 
“Yeah, that’s great. Hey, I’m going to go see some friends.” I say turning towards where Paul was standing on his phone. 
“Yeah-“ he says but is cut off by another message. Rolling my eyes I make my way towards the blonde. Feeling my presence coming up to him he looks up from his phone smiling. 
“Don’t see much of you without Ollie” he says smirking and opens his arms for a hug which I accept immediately. 
“Yeah he wouldn’t shut up about the girl he’s talking to  so figured might as well see some friends”
“Oh yeah, he talks about her all the time. I’ve met her before and she’s kinda…” he trails off
“A bitch”
“I didn’t say it but I’m not disagreeing” putting his hands up in defense. 
“No yeah, she definitely is a bitch and doesn’t like me.”
“Probably cause you and Ollie have a history” 
“He’s my best friend, of course, there’s history”
“Yeah…” before he could add anything Kimi and Dino were joining us making Paul drop the topic. 
2 months later
I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night-
“Ollie, what are you doing” I call out my window looking down at the boy who had spammed me to open my window. 
“I’ve barely heard from you for the past 2 months” he replies looking hurt. 
“Yeah…sorry” the last part being quiet.
“Are we going to talk like this or are you going to let me in?” He asks, sighing I push myself away going down to let him in quietly as possible. 
“Ollie it’s midnight” I whisper as we go towards my room door, allowing him to walk in before me to shut it. 
“I know but since when did it matter?” He replies lowly with a small tentative smile. 
“Since it’s been months from the last time you came over late or even had a full conversation,” I reply turning away, sitting on my bed. 
“Yeah” I could just barely hear, “just…I don’t know” he sighed staring at his feet. Looking at his face he’s trying to figure out what to say or do. 
“Something’s wrong” I state, patting the bed, “come here” making him look up at me. 
“I think she’s cheating on me, she’s just so different from me” he sighs referring to his girlfriend who has hated me for a while now. 
“Do you have proof?” I ask, although we don’t get along, she doesn’t deserve to be accused of something she didn’t do. 
“Kind of, I guess. Just she’s messaging her ex still, I think she went out with him today. Well, I know she did because of the photos.”
“Damn Ollie, that sucks,” I say looking down at my hands in my lap. “Are you going to do something about it?” I question 
“I’m going to confront her and see where it goes.” 
“Smart move” I replied looking up at him who was still avoiding eye contact. “Is there more?” Watching him fidget with the sleeves of his hoodie. 
“I’m sorry for not being around” he quietly voice breaking a little. 
“It's fine, you were busy with your new life.” I reply not meaning to be petty but he did ghost me, his “best friend”. He finally looked up at me with glossy eyes, “Don’t worry, I’m proud of you no matter what” smiling softly at him even with my own eyes feeling pricks of tears. Reaching out to his face I wipe his tears away with the hoodie holding his cheeks. Putting his hand on mine, keeping me from letting go of him, “I don’t want to lose you, I feel like I already did” sobbed holding my hand even tighter. Moving my hand to him, leaning on the pillow behind me. 
I’m the one that makes you laugh when you know you’re 'bout to cry. 
“I’m not leaving, at least not all the way” feeling him hold onto me even tighter, “I’ll always support you, Ollie. You can always text or call me if you need to.” I tell him while running my fingers through his hair, feeling my tears sliding down my face. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Bearman,” I say trying to lighten the mood, earning a small chuckle from him. Pulling out of my hold, wiping his tears, “I should probably go before my parents realize I'm not there” He says getting up towards the door. 
“Yeah, I’ll lock the door behind you so mine don’t think I just left the house open for robbers,” I say with a small smile. 
“I mean it, you can text or call me anytime, you know I will try my best to answer.” I remind him at the door. 
“I‘ll remember,” he says pulling me into one last tight hug. 
All this time how could you not know
Looking down at my phone I just got a notification,
Ollie: I was right, she just admitted it and didn’t think she was wrong since I travel. 
Sighing I respond 
‘I’m sorry you had to go through that, Ollie. At least you found out now.’ 
Going back to whatever movie was playing on the living room TV. My parents are off on a date meaning I get to have the house to myself, although it’s not as fun as it seems when you’re alone. My phone's insistent vibration distracts me, realizing that a call vibration I pick it up not glancing at the caller. 
“Hello”
“Hey…” Ollie’s voice comes through barely, “I’m sorry, I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore really. I just miss you so much and this situation made me realize something.” He quickly lets out. 
“Ollie I never said I didn’t want to be in your life at all.” I reason
“Are you home?” He says sniffling. 
“Yeah, parents are out” 
“I need to come over” 
“Okay,” I reply quietly before hanging up.  
You belong with me. Have you ever thought, just maybe you belong with me?
Ollie's knocks were loud and fast making me get out faster walking to the door. The second I open the door, he puts his hand on my cheeks. 
“I want to kiss you” he mumbles leaning down slightly from the height difference. “Can I?” He breaths out 
“Yeah,” I say feeling heat on my cheeks now but quickly distracted by his lips on mine. Kissing him back I put my hands on the back of his neck pulling him closer.
Letting go realizing he’s rebounding, “What was that, Ollie?” I ask genuinely confused. 
“I’m sorry, I love you and it took that relationship for me to realize it.” 
“Still confused” 
“She said the reason she didn’t see the issue of her cheating was because I was in love with you the whole time. I thought she was crazy until I realized I compared her to you. Like the things you knew I liked or how you went out of your way to make me happy.” He paused putting one hand on my cheek again forcing me to look him in the eyes, “She’s right, I do love you more than just my best friend.” He finishes 
“Ollie” I whisper shocked by what he explained to me. 
“Please just give me a chance” he replied 
“I can’t be your rebound, Ollie. My feelings for you are real and I don’t want to be hurt.” I warn him. 
“You’re not a rebound I promise,” he says seriously. 
“Okay,” I reply causing him to smile slightly. 
“Okay?” 
“Prove you will try, Ollie,” I tell him, he lets out a breathy laugh before pressing his lips to mine. Accepting the kiss quickly but I pull away making him confused. “As much as I would like to kiss you in my front doorway so my whole neighborhood could see. I also have a movie playing so are you coming in or what?” I tell him, smiling widely, he accepts my invitation following me to sit on the couch. Curling up into him like we used to do, this time there’s no feeling of confusion about whether he likes me or not. 
You belong with me
“You know you’ve watched this hundreds of times.” He states referring to Coraline playing. 
“Yeah, and I’ll watch it a hundred more times.” I smile looking up at him. Pulling my face closer he started to kiss me again, this time I didn’t stop it, or at least for a moment until realizing I could hear my parents coming in through the garage. Letting go I shift to have my head on his chest with my right arm wrapped around his stomach. 
“Hey Ollie” they calmly say walking by us before going towards the stairs, “Oh hey try not to kiss in front of the whole neighborhood next time.” Before going up. Making me giggle remembering the cameras that watch the front door. 
“I forgot about the cameras,” he says embarrassed. 
“Yeah…me too” I added. 
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guerrillateezsworld · 1 year ago
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mine now- rory keaner
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ask: can you do a dom rory keaner smut where benny has a crush on fem reader and rory hears abt it so he fucks the reader and then the next day she can like barely walk or something that proves they did it ? bc i feel like he has the needs to prove you his or smth
a/n: i giggled at this ask bcuz it really got me in my feels for rory again. rory just having the need to make sure everyone knows you’re his has me on the floor!!! i don’t really write full smut though so ill try
a/n: ok it was longer than i expected
warnings: dom!rory, rory is a smug bitch, cursing, sub!reader, protective sex, fingering, fem!reader, use of good girl and baby, choking, multiple orgasms, squirting, not proofread so pls ignore mistakes!!, i think that’s it
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its been going around that a certain someone has a crush on you. that person being benny weir, yours and rory’s best friend. and boy, when rory found out, he was JEALOUS.
see, he’s a vampire. so i feel like that adds onto his VERY protective instincts. after that incident, boy was he sure to show everyone you’re his.
the talk was everywhere, people worried that rory would actually hurt his friend over this crush. but he knows better than to betray his friend and hurt him. soooo… he sticks to something a little more… scandalous.
people definitely can tell what he’s trying to prove when the next day you show up, barely being able to walk. now that’s what i call jealousy and protectiveness
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you were heading home from school whenever rory popped up beside you out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of you. you ignored him, giving him the same attitude he’s given you all day. “what’s with the silent treatment?” he sighs, wrapping his arm around you. you shrug and continue to walk. he shakes his head and you both walk up to your house. once you both get inside, he turns you around and gives you a serious look. “why are you ignoring me?” he asks, looking you dead in the eye. “why am i ignoring you? do you not realize that’s what you’ve been doing to me all day?” you ask, clearly irritated. he smirks and you just glare at him. “i heard a certain someone has a crush on you.” “and…?” “clearly you’re mine and no one else’s. i’m jealous okay? he needs to know that you belong to me.”
you smirk at his confession. “you’re.. jealous” you laugh. clearly he doesn’t like that because before you know it, his lips are on yours as he starts making out with you. “let’s move this to my room, yeah?” you ask and he nods. he pulls away and practically drags you to your room and locks your door behind him. “god, you really know how to pull my strings huh?” he asks quietly while pushing you down onto your bed, kissing you quickly. “it’s a pro of mine, i’d say. it’s pretty easy to tick you off and i love it.” you smirk as he rolls his eyes. “just be quiet okay? i need to let everyone know who owns you, yeah?” he snaps back, clearly a little irritated but it’s not like you’ll listen. you hold back a giggle as his hands glide down your body and near where you need him most. completely forgetting about your bratty attitude, you let a small whine out as he caresses your thighs. “p-please rory..” you say and your hips slowly come off the bed. he lets out a groan before pushing your hips down and holding them. “don’t move. understand?” he says lowly, glaring at you.
you nod with a pout as he slowly starts kissing down your body. he gets to your jeans and takes them off, leaving you in your underwear. feeling a little nervous, you try to close your legs but he forcibly opens them back up. “keep your legs open too, baby. you know the rules” he groans, slowly taking your underwear to reveal your arousal. “god. you look so fucking delicious” he smirks and sees you look away. “hey, i want you to look at me while i eat you out and finger you, okay?” he tells you and he leans in to your cunt and licks a clean stripe up to your clit. it seemed to knock the wind out of you as your body jerks and a moan is pulled out of you. he brings his thumb up to rub your clit as he starts eating you out. as if it was a normal reflex, your hands fly to his head and push his face into your cunt some more. choked up moans spill out of your mouth when he immediately pushes two fingers in. your back arches off the bed and he pushes it down. “what did i say?” he asks as he stops his fingers making you groan. “t-to not move” “good girl” he dives back in, licking and sucking.
the knot in your stomach tightens as you notice his subtly grinding onto the bed. “getting close?” he smirks, not stopping one bit. all you can do is nod as the pleasure starts to get too much. he can tell by your heavy breathing and how you keep clenching around his fingers. “i’m gonna cum, rory” you whine loudly. he gives you a nod of approval and you let go, cumming on his tongue and fingers. he licks you clean and sits up, your arousal on his face. he looks at you with a smile and wipes his face off. “you taste so good, baby. but now i think it’s time for the main event. i’m gonna fuck you so good you’ll be struggling to walk tomorrow” he gives you a smug smirk, it gets wider when he sees your eyes widen. “but?!- you can’t, we have school tomorrow” “well duh, that’s the whole reason silly. maybe it’ll get to benny’s and anyone else’s head that you’re mine. see?” he shrugs.
you know better than to argue back so you just nod, giving into him. “since you’re all prepped, i’ll just slide right in” he chuckles. you can see his bulge as he unbuckles his jeans and takes his boxers off with it. you start drooling at the sight, still never really getting over with how he looks. he reaches over to your nightstand and opens the one drawer. he grabs a condom and opens it and slides it on. he takes your legs and puts them over your shoulders. he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes all the way in. your moan mixed with his groan sounded like music to your ears. “so tight, baby. you were made just for me huh?” he looks down at you as he snaps his hips into you. “we got so distracted that we forgot to take our tops off” rory laughs and stops to move your legs to take his shirt off. you whine at the loss of movement but he just ignores it. “your turn” he says and helps me take off my shirt and bra. he puts my legs over his shoulders again and pushes into me, rougher. he snaps his hips into mine fast while moving his hand up to my neck. as he gets rougher, he squeezes my neck more. “you like it when i fuck you like this? i know you do, baby.”
he chuckles as you babble incoherently due to how hard he’s going. “ugh yes rory, i love it so much”. he leans forward, hitting a different angle with your legs coming close to your chest. you think he doesn’t notice when you slip your hand down to rub at your clit but he does. he slaps your hand away and glares at you. “no touching, understand?” he growls. you just nod and take what he’s giving you like the good girl you are. “rory, i-im gonna cum” the words come out like a mumble as you whine loudly. “oh yeah? then let go baby” he smiles and the knot in your stomach snaps and you come. he smirks and flips you over onto your hands and knees.
due to the easier position, he goes in deeper and pounds into your overstimulated cunt. he makes a makeshift ponytail in your hair and shoves your face into the mattress. you moan loudly but it just comes out muffled due to your position. “rory.. please” you whine into the pillow. he ignores it and continues thrusting into you. “you can take it baby. i know you can” he smirks, even though you can’t even see it. he lets out groans while you’re whining and falling apart beneath him. due to being sensitive, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten again. “i can tell you’re close again because you’re squeezing me baby” he chuckles as he himself gets closer to his release. you can tell by his thrusts getting sloppier by the second. “i’m almost there baby, you can wait a few” he says with a grunt. a muffled yes followed along by a whine comes from you. his thrust start to get more sloppier as he gets closer. finally, he gives you permission to come. “alright baby, let loose. come on my cock like a good girl” he groans out. what felt like the best orgasm ever, hits you and you moan loudly as you let go. he comes in the condom and helps you ride out your high. once you’re done, he slowly pulls out with a groan making you whine at the lost contact. he takes the condom off and throws it away before he collapses next you, heavily breathing. “now you know who you belong to right? say it” he says while looking you dead in the eyes. “you rory, i’m all yours” you manage to say while you’re still calming down. “good girl. now maybe people will realize tomorrow at school when you’re struggling to walk” he smirks. letting your realization kick in that you guys still have school tomorrow, you groan. “so this was your plan after all you sneaky asshole” he lets a laugh slip out at your words. he just shrugs and smiles smugly, “i figured you would’ve realized by now”. you don’t have the energy to reply back so you lift your hand up to flip him off to which he laughs at. finally, he turns over to you so he can see you better. “you’ll definitely need a shower and some rest tonight. i’ll see you tomorrow” he smiles. “yeah i definitely will. bye rory, i love you” you say as he gets up to put his clothes back on. “i love you too” he smiles and leans down to give you a kiss. he grabs his stuff and leaves while you still lay there for a few minutes.
deciding to get up, you go to your closet to grab clothes for a shower. you don’t feel much discomfort right now but you definitely will tomorrow. you head to the bathroom and take a shower. once you’re done, you put your phone on charge and turn off the lights before settling down on your bed. immediately you fall asleep in the comforts of your bed.
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it’s the next morning and you wake up, feeling the discomfort already. “damn it rory” you tell yourself. getting the remaining courage and energy, you get up and get ready. grabbing your stuff and leaving for school. when you get to school, rory is already standing at the doors waiting for you with a smug smirk on his face. “how you feeling?” he tries to hide his laugh. “shut up” you tell him, not really amused. you guys walk in and you’re already getting stares at the limping you’re doing.
now everyone definitely knows what you and rory did last night but no one dares to say anything, even benny. he’s a little spooked but glad rory didn’t try to kill him or something.
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andddd i’m done!! thank you for reading and thanks to the requester for requesting!!
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love-at-first-sight-23 · 3 months ago
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Heather Part 2 𓇢𓆸
<—Part 1 here Part 3 here—>
“Watch as she stands with her holding your hand, put your arm ‘round her shoulder, now I’m getting colder”
Warnings: Angst, mild cursing, gender neutral!reader is a bit *dramatic*
A/n: Part 2, finally coming your way! Enjoy this load of angst!
You stare emptily out the window, hand under your chin. How long has it been? Since you last said a word to him?
By him, you mean JJ Maybank. You’ve been avoiding him ever since… it happened. You’ve been in love with JJ ever since you can remember. But instead he has fallen in love with Kiara Carrera. You will never forget the day you walked to his house, expecting to drop off a borrowed sweater of his, only to find him kissing her in his living room. There are no words to describe how you felt. If only they knew.
Was JJ the problem? Or was it you? You might say you’re a little obsessed with him. In fact, you believe it. Not a day passes by when you aren’t thinking about him, or steaming over the fact that he’s slipped from your grasp. But what about all the times you placed your hand over JJ’s, or given him his favorite foods you know he loves? No, it is JJ who is blind.
It’s his fault. But you wish things were different. And you wish you weren’t so lonely.
Back at the Wreck, the restaurant the Carrera family owns, you wait in dread for the blonde and the brunette to show up. John B, Pope, and the other Pogues seem to have noticed that something’s off about you. Despite them being oblivious to your hidden love, they’re still worried for you.
“What’s wrong? Not liking the food?” John B asks half-jokingly.
You glance down at your untouched plate in front of you. “N— no, I’m good,” you say quickly. “The food is great.”
Sarah stares at you quizzically. “Seriously, what’s up with you? You have not touched those fish n’ chips. I know you’re never one to turn down food.”
You just shrug. “I’m not hungry, I guess.” You fall silent as JJ enters the restaurant, Kiara following behind him. You keep your eyes on your uneaten burger.
The two seat themselves, laughing as they talk to your friends. You dare look up slightly, and out of the corner of your eye you spot cream-colored fabric. Polyester.  Is Kiara… wearing JJ’s sweater? The same one he lent to you that day? There’s no mistaking it. Anger burns under your skin. It only grows when JJ wraps his arm around Kiara whilst sipping his drink. How dare she? Take the place where you should have belonged?
You can’t take it anymore. You excuse yourself from the table and leave through the door. The six of them watch you go in confusion, but you ignore them.
You hold your arms around your body in an effort to comfort yourself as you walk down the road towards home. You don’t hear at first the footsteps coming behind you. Then a voice calls out.
“Hey!”
You spin around abruptly to face Kiara. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Geez, thanks for the warm hello. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Ok, then talk.” You fold your arms, keeping your expression emotionless. She’s the last person you want to talk to right now. Especially since she’s even now wearing JJ’s sweater. But you won’t let her tell that.
She sighs. “Fine. What’s your problem?” She says the question in such a straight-forward manner, so bluntly, that it sounds almost casual.
“What do you mean?” you say coldly.
Her tone has the slight suggestion of being accusatory. “I mean that you’ve been ignoring me lately. You haven’t answered a single one of my texts.”
She’s right. Every call, every message popping up on your phone, has been sent straight to voicemail or ignored. You don’t answer her.
“So really, what’s the deal?” When you still don’t answer, she sucks in a breath as if exasperated. “Is this because of JJ?”
Your blood starts to boil again. “What do you think, Kiara?” 
“So it is? Listen, just because we’re dating now, doesn’t mean you can go and completely ignore us. Just talk to us.”
“You think it’s that easy? After you two go and make out, after I���ve been in love with him for three and a half years, you think I can just do that?! Do you even know what I’ve been going through?!” Suddenly, all of the pain you’ve been feeling for the past week, all of your pent-up emotions, are fueling into rage. Your vision blurs with red as your world rocks back and forth. 
“How was I supposed to know that?! It’s not like you’re exactly clear with your emotions in the first place!!” Kiara makes motions in the air with her hands as she exclaims to you.
You round on her. “You little son of a bitch—“ You clench your fists as you step closer, angry beyond words. Who cares if you haven’t been telling your entire fucking life story to the girl who ruined your life? Now she will pay. You will make her pay.
She steps back, eyes still narrowed. “You’re going to—“ You pull back a fist.
“What’s going on?” You both freeze. Turning your head around, arm still poised to swing above Kiara’s head, you see JJ Maybank walking towards you.
“What are you doing?” He demands to you, folding his arms over his chest.
You’re speechless. You drop your arm to your side, unsure of what to say. “J-JJ…”
“Stop.” You immediately fall silent. “Someone explain. Now.”
“She’s been jealous of us being together. So she goes and tries to beat the shit out of me.” Kiara’s shaking a little, of fear or anger you don’t know.
“What? You’re… jealous of us?” JJ looks at you in pure surprise.
You face down at the ground, not able to look him in the eye. “JJ, I… I love you. I know now’s not the right time to tell you, but.. I have for a long time.”
JJ only continues to gaze at you, expression unreadable. “You have, have you?” Kiara only shakes her head.
“Yes.” Tears prick your eyes, but you refuse to let either of them see you. You turn away. “I guess I should go. Goodbye.”
“Wait!” He calls after you as you walk quickly and out of sight. You don’t listen.
At home, all you can feel is shame. Shame that you almost hurt Kiara. And how you let your own feelings get the better of you. At least nearly. You have to let JJ go, no matter how much it hurts. You have no choice.
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Part 3 coming soon…? Keep a lookout!
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mummybear · 11 months ago
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My Brother's Best Friend - Chapter 6 - Mystic Wolf
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Words: 3523
Warnings: Swearing, Talk Of Mates And Marking, Dirty Talk, Stiles Loosing Control, Think That's All :)
Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Reader/You/Sadie McCall, Theo Raken, Scott McCall, Allison Argent, Talk Of James (OC), Alan Deaton
A/N: Sorry about the wait guys! I'm still really struggling with writers block and I've been really poorly lately which hasn't helped! Anyway< I really hope you enjoy this one! I'm also half way through writing the next one :)
Chapter 6 - Mystic Wolf
Stiles doesn’t speak another word to you, he doesn’t need to though, you can feel his anger pulsing through your bond. He quickly pulls you behind a tree and positions himself in front of you. It's strange, it's almost like the feelings you shared before have been amplified. You take a single step closer to him and wrap a hand around his wrist, trying to pull him back with you. You’re pretty sure you know that voice too and nothing good can come from an amped up werewolf Stiles going face to face with him again, not after the last time.
Stiles lets out a deep growl, one you can feel beneath your feet. Just as Theo steps out from the tree line and into view.
Theo whistles with a stupid grin on his face, “I heard that you’d had an upgrade Stilinski, but shit, even I didn’t see this coming.”
“What do you want, dipshit?” Stiles grits out from between his teeth. You move your hand so you can grab his wrist and intertwine your fingers, before plastering yourself to his back, hoping to stop him from doing anything stupid. Your heartbeat is rapid and nervous, you’re so worried about what might happen right now, and there isn’t a thing you can do to stop it.
“I was looking for Scott. I understand he had a run in with my Beta.”
You’re very confused by this version of Theo, what the hell was he trying to pull. He was like a completely different person. Calm and in control, but you’re certain the monster is lying just beneath the surface.
“Your Beta? What the hell are you talking about?” Stiles asks, irritation and impatience rolling from every word. You can feel his body shaking with tension against your own. 
Theo smirks and steps closer, “you’ve both met him. James? I understand that Sadie knows him very well.”
You can’t help your reaction, it's instantaneous, your breath catches in your throat and you tense, gripping Stiles tighter. Stiles gently squeezes your hand back trying to comfort you, but you feel his rage spike.
“Yeah, somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Keep your bitch in line and the fuck away from my mate. You two belong together. Whoever the hell trusted you to be Alpha needs their head testing. But that’s your problem to deal with, so if you and your godforsaken pack can get the hell out of Beacon hills that would be great.” Stiles’ voice is dripping with sarcasm coupled with annoyance. Even though you’re worried about your situation and how Stiles or Theo might react you can’t help but giggle a little, you’d missed Stiles’ sarcasm.  
“I made myself Alpha. Not that I expect a little runt like you to understand what real power is. We don’t plan on going anywhere. Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to speak to your Alpha.” Theo announces and as he turns to leave, Stiles lets out a warning growl, and you can’t help but whimper in response to it. To your surprise Theo turns around too, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
With a sigh he looks Stiles dead in the eyes, “yes?” 
“One more thing. Keep James the fuck away from Sadie. She’s off limits. Not only is she my mate, but she isn’t interested in his caveman act, or his shit attitude and bad breath. He doesn’t listen and I will stop him, that’s a promise.” Stiles tells him with such steadfast confidence, that you can’t help but blush. You know it shouldn’t excite you this way, but your base instincts seem to take over at your mate defending you, and a noise you didn’t know you could make comes from your mouth. You’re on your tiptoes before you can stop yourself, trying to nuzzle his neck. 
Stiles tries not to react but you feel him relax against you, and without even trying you’ve split his attention. Theo laughs, “Sure, I’ll tell him. But he won’t listen. He will come for her, so make sure you are ready to stop him. I’d say good luck, but I don’t care either way.”
Neither of you have a chance to reply, the second Theo starts to walk away Stiles snaps and picks you up and pins you against the closest tree.
“Such a little troublemaker, Minx. You already know that nobody else is allowed to hear those pretty little noises you make.” Stiles purrs, taking both of your wrists in one of his hands and pins it to the tree above you as he nuzzles your neck. 
You let out a cry of pleasure when his teeth scrape against your skin, you grip him tighter with your legs and roll your hips against him. Feeling his cock straining against his jeans, “you know what I want, Stiles,” you pant breathlessly.
“I’ve already told you, if I start, I won’t stop. As soon as I’m deep inside you, feeling your pussy dripping wet all around me, I won’t be able to stop myself from sinking my teeth into your neck and claiming you.” Even the spoken words seem to have an effect on both of you, your grip tightens on you as you shiver against him. 
He lets out a shaky sigh as he presses his lips to yours softly before pulling away, “this pull between us is getting harder to resist and I’m hanging on by a thread,” he whispers the last part dropping his head onto your chest, carefully releasing your arms. Your hands drop to his head and you softly run your fingers through his hair. He lifts his head and meets your eyes. 
“I swear, I really am doing this for you, I know that’s probably hard for you to believe, or even understand but…” you stop him pressing a finger to his lips.
“I know you are. I can see how hard this all is on you,” you can’t help but giggle at that statement hoping to lighten the mood, and luckily Stiles is unable to hold back his own smile as a blush stains his cheeks.
“Yeah, no kidding,” he laughs with a roll of his eyes.
“You’ve been so incredible, Stiles. I have no idea how you haven’t snapped yet. Frankly, I’d never blame you for that, I couldn’t. Even if I couldn’t feel it through our bond, I know all you want is what is best for me, to protect me.”
“Always,” Stiles smiles and lets out a breath. You unwrap your legs from his waist and he carefully helps you onto your feet.
“I shouldn’t have let that prick get away though, I need to text Scott.” 
“Tell him we’re going to see Deaton now if he needs us.” 
Stiles quickly does as you say, though it’s obvious he’s reluctant to even let go of you for a minute. 
“Are you sure you’re ready?” he asks, as worry pulses through the bond.
“I promise, Stiles. Nothing that he tells me will change my mind. I’ve wanted to be with you for as long as I can remember. A few obstacles or difficulties won’t change my mind, I’d have been there for you even if it was just as your friend. This just makes me more invested to make sure that you turning into a wolf hasn’t harmed you in any way.” 
“That means more than you know, especially given all this fucked up shit going on. Just don’t speak too soon, please. I can’t get my hopes up yet, it will kill me if you decide against us.” He sighs as his phone pings before you can reply, and he looks to find Scott has messaged back.
“Scott says they’re with Deaton at the clinic already. Are you ready for this?” he asks, holding out his hand for you, which you eagerly take hold of.
The entire walk to the clinic is quiet between the two of you, but it’s nice, oddly comforting. Not that you have any idea what the two of you might face, but this time together with no pressure at all makes a change. It feels like it’s been non stop pressure since Stiles first burst back into your life. You can’t quite work out how it’s been such a short time since then, less than a week ago you had been planning to move on from him for good because you couldn’t wait for him forever. Now here you both are, walking down the street hand in hand, wondering what on earth the next few hours will hold for you both. Whatever it does hold, you just hope that Stiles will be okay, because you would never tell him, but you terrified whatever type of werewolf he is might be dangerous for him. Though you’re not worried he’d ever hurt you.
Stiles gently squeezes your hand, pulling you from your thoughts.
“Hey minx, I can feel you thinking… literally. Talk to me,”
You huff out a laugh. “Sorry, I’m okay. I guess I’m just wondering what Deaton will say about us, about all of this. I’d just like to have a year where something massive and life changing doesn’t happen, I dunno. Ignore me,” you sigh, a slightly self-deprecating laugh leaving your mouth.
“Don’t do that, don’t downplay this shit. I get it. Everything with Scotty has taken years to settle down. Last year you lost your best friend in some shitty accident, then all of this with me. You have every right to feel the things you’re feeling. Just promise me, you won’t shut me out. I want to be there for you, like I said even if you decide against us going forward with our bond. I would never hold that against you, I’ll never stop being there for you. You’ll always be a part of me.” Every word he speaks settles around you like a comforting blanket, and you can’t stop the grin from breaking out on your face.
“Thank you,” you whisper, emotion clogging your throat as you blink away your tears. “I can’t believe you said all of that without any sarcasm attached. And to think I was considering moving on from my obsession with you a week before you came back.” You can’t help but laugh when he tugs you to a stop and steps in front of you with his hand over his chest.
“I should be offended by that,” he smirks, stepping closer and pulling you into his arms. “Guess I’ll just have to count myself lucky I came back in time to stop that momentary insanity huh?” 
You wrap your arms around his neck, his eyes glow purple as you lean in and softly press your lips to his. His hands settle on your hips when you pull back, “this bond packs a damn punch,” Stiles chuckles with a slight wince while resting his forehead against yours. It’s only then that you realise you’ve stopped outside the clinic. 
You swallow thickly feeling the way your body reaches for him, almost like your soul is reaching for his own. It’s actually painful when you both pull away from each other, so Stiles takes your hand once again. You walk backwards slowly in front of him, with a grin.
“You sure you don’t want to just go back home. We can finish this right now Stiles.” 
“Fire. Minx, you’re playing with fire,” he rasps, as a blush creeps up his neck and he adjusts himself in his pants and rubs at the back of his neck.
You both walk through the door and come face to face with your brother, who quickly pulls you into a big hug, you melt against him as you wrap your arms around him.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Sadie.” He lets go of you and gives Stiles a quick hug too.
“Did you guys have any trouble on your way over here?” 
You look at Stiles who lets out a huff, “yes. We should talk after… well this.” 
Before Scott can reply, Deaton walks into the room.
“Ahh, Stiles, Sadie. Good to see you both. As we discussed Scott, I think it’s best if this conversation is between the three of us. We’ll call the rest of you back soon.”
With a nod of his head Scott and the rest of the pack leave the clinic. You, Deaton and Stiles gather around the examination table. Stiles reaches out and wraps his fingers around your own, and you let out a shaky breath, “It’s okay, me too,” Stiles assures you, a barely there smile on his lips.
“Are you both sure you want to talk about this now?” Deaton asks thoughtfully, looking between you both, you’re certain your nerves are written on both of your faces.
“Kind of need to, Doc. We’ve agreed, the sooner we know what we’re up against the better,” Stiles tells him for both of you, unconsciously edging closer to you. 
“I would have to agree. Have you both been doing okay? Adjusting? I realise it’s only been two days but you seem relatively calm, all things considered.”
It feels as though your skin is itchy and you know the only thing that will stop the itch, so you do what your body wants and tuck yourself under Stiles’ arm. Blushing when both men stop to look at you, “sorry,” you whisper a little embarrassed.
“No need to apologise, it’s perfectly normal. I’m honestly surprised you lasted that long, I have to confess I’m also impressed that we’re even still able to have this conversation before you’ve fully mated with one another.”
Stiles clears his throat, “so… where should we start, Doc?”
“Well, from the little we know about the wolf you seem to have, it is a very rare kind. It’s also not known why and how people gain this particular type of wolf. However, there are a few things I can tell you. One of the main things is that we have no idea how the Mystic Werewolf occurs, only that as I say it’s extremely rare. It’s also been told that the Mystic is one of the only wolves able to resist the true Alpha’s influence, and in fact your power could rival that of Scott’s power. We also know that Wolfsbane doesn’t have an effect on you, at least, not to the extent it does on every other wolf. Once the two of you are mated, if that's the path you choose, then you’ll be able to mind link with each other, but only with each other. There is also the distinct possibility that Sadie might gain some of your powers, once mated. Although, if you choose to become a wolf, Sadie, there is a high possibility that you’ll also become a Mystic wolf. No matter who is the Alpha of your pack, your mate will consider you her Alpha, Stiles.” Deaton pauses, watching you both carefully as you both try to digest everything you’ve heard.
Stiles swallows hard and you’re sure you heard it, “okay. My first question is… is Sadie safe with me? Am I dangerous? To her, to anyone else?” 
Deaton frowns a little in confusion, “Stiles, I can see what this means to you. But I assure you, you’re only as dangerous as any other werewolf. As much as Scott is to Allison, though from the amount of restraint you’ve shown I know that your bond to one another is incredibly strong. There are some whispers that the Mystic wolf can shift into a full wolf and control the transition so they don’t lose themselves to the animal. However, that was one rumour that I couldn't confirm. But if you want my opinion, Sadie is safest when she’s with you.” 
You feel Stiles sag with relief as you press close to him, almost like his scent is stronger now you’re inside again. The rumble that leaves his chest makes you whimper and his fingers grip you tighter, pulling you closer. 
“If I make her mine, mate her, will she turn or is that a separate thing?” Stiles asks, his voice almost a growl now, you can see his wolf in his purple eyes, feel him clawing to take you.
Deaton swallows looking between you both, clearly the tension in the room has gone up quite a lot in the past ten minutes, and Deaton can sense that Stiles is barely holding it together.
“No, it’s completely separate. Marking is something that must be done while you’re mating. Changing someone is completely separate.”
“Alpha, please,” you whimper, feeling the cramps in your stomach again, but these are so much worse than anything you’ve ever felt before. 
Stiles growls and pushes you up against the closest wall. You whine a little at the pain but that’s soon forgotten when you feel him press against you. His breath is hot and fast against your mouth. His hands are fists beside your head pressed into the wall. You arch towards him and lick your lips desperate to feel his skin against yours.
“Doc? Does mountain ash work on me?” Stiles snarls, as his fists slam through the wall by your head.
“As far as I know.” Deaton responds calmly. 
“Do it, please. Stop me. I can’t do this here. We’ve waited too long, I won’t take her here, not like this.” Stiles whispers, eyes never leaving yours even when Deaton leaves the room.
You keep your eyes locked on Stiles as you begin to tug at your coat. Feeling the sweat rolling down your neck, you're unbearably hot. Stiles licks his lips as his eyes fall to your breasts, still covered by your t-shirt.
“Fuck. You want it, don’t you, my little Minx.” 
You lean in close, your breathing ragged and push up on your tiptoes and press your lips to his ear. “Told you I’d still want you. My big bad Alpha,” you purr, wishing he’d move to grab you but he keeps his hands buried in the wall.
“Stop it, Sadie. I’ll hurt you right now and I don’t want that.” 
You hum out a pleased noise as you look up at him, “Make it hurt then, baby. I wanna know, when you take me and make me beg for it, where are you gonna put your mark?” Stiles only growls low and deep in response. You tip your head to the side and bite your lip as your fingers skim the side of your neck, “here?” you ask breathy and desperate, “or here?” you whisper once more, brushing your fingers over the top of your breasts. Tipping your head back you expose your throat to him, desperation clawing at you painfully. 
Stiles finally snaps and leans forward and you feel his entire body shudder as he licks up your throat and nips at your chin. He rips one of his hands from the wall and his hand gently smoothes over your breasts with a gentle squeeze, he uses a little more pressure his hand pushes over your collar bone and comes to settle around your throat. He buries his nose in the side of your neck and inhales deeply.
“All fucking mine, taste so fucking good.” Stiles groans deeply, you squeeze your eyes shut as you feel the last of his control snap. 
However, before he can make contact a cloud of dust envelopes the pair of you and Stiles is ripped away from you. You hear a massive commotion but you can’t react. All you can do is sink to the floor, unable to hold yourself up anymore on your weak legs. You are vaguely aware of the snarls and growls just across the room, but all you can do is whimper as you collapse to the floor. The world around you goes dark as you slip into unconsciousness.
Stiles POV
I stop fighting Scott to get back to his sister the second that I hear that whimper and I watch, helpless and terrified as my mate collapses to the floor. I whimper helplessly pushing at Scott much less aggressively, desperate need and terror clawing at me. I’m unable to take my eyes from Sadies still body as Allison drops down beside her to take her pulse. I can hear her heartbeat but I allow it, what the fuck have I done. I drop to my knees as I look at her laying there in a heap, helpless and all I can think is that this is all my fault. 
Scott gets down beside me as he rests a hand on my shoulder, he meets my eyes. 
“Don’t go there, Stiles. Not your fault. You’ve both waited way longer to mate than is usually even possible. I know why you did and I’m glad you got all of the information before doing anything, we’ll all get you both back home. You both need food and rest, then go from there.” 
I give him a stiff nod as I slowly make my way towards her and carefully pull her into my arms, holding her close to my chest. I will make this all right, I’ll make everything perfect for her.
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cheynovak · 9 months ago
Text
 When we were young
Ben (Soldier Boy) Harrison x F/Reader Y/N           
Contains/warnings: 18+, Smut, Childhood/ family trauma, puberty, losing virginity, dead of parent(s), time jumps, angst, fluff, hurt, ... 
Side note: English isn’t my first language    
Words:  7000
*Does not follow the boys storyline – Set in a time period where Ben was not yet a supe. Since we don’t know his last name, I came up with Harrison for this story.*  
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Y/N is a young girl who works with her mother as a maid in the household of Mr. Harrison and his son Ben. Since Ben was mostly in boarding school and Y/N till this summer in a normal school, they didn’t know each other very well. 
This summer it all changed, Y/N had to help her mother financially and Mr. Harrison was so kind to let her work with her mom in his house. That’s when she met Ben, his son who was only a year older than her.  
Soon the kids became best friends... but is that all there is? Friendship? 
-- 
It was the hottest June I could remember, the kind where the air felt thick and the sun seemed to never set. Mom had worked at the Harrison estate for as long as I could recall, her hands roughened by years of scrubbing and polishing.  
She always said it was honest work, and I believed her, but I couldn't help but wish for something more for us. That summer, I started working alongside her. It was the first time I'd be spending most of my days in the grand old house on the hill, a place that seemed to belong in a different world altogether.  
The Harrisons were well-off, and their home reflected it, with its sprawling lawns, marble floors, and rooms that echoed with emptiness. Mr. Harrison was a stern man with a permanent scowl who owned half of the steel industry in town, the kind that made you feel like you were always doing something wrong, even when you weren’t.  
Ben was home from boarding school for the summer. I’d heard about him from Mom, seen his pictures in the grand hallway, a boy with green eyes and freckles, always looking slightly out of place in his stiff school uniforms.  
He looked nice, a clean boy with mystery in his eyes, mom told me that he lost his mother a few years back, since then his father sends his to boarding school. He had the posture of his father but the kindness of his mom. But nothing could prepare me for meeting him in person.  
I was dusting the library when I first saw him. The door creaked open, and I looked up, expecting to see Mr. Harrison, but instead, it was a young boy about my age, his green eyes wide with curiosity while he hung against the frame.  
“Hi,” he said, a little shyly. “I’m Ben.” “I’m Y/N,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. “I work here with my mom.” He nodded, “I know. I’ve seen you around the house this week.”  
“How old are you?” He asked “Thirteen,” I said while continue doing my job. “How ‘bout you?”  I saw his perfect lips curl into a smile “Fourteen.” 
We stood there for a moment, awkwardly, until he stepped inside, his eyes scanning the rows of books. “Do you like to read?” “Sometimes,” I said, following his gaze. “But I don’t have as many as you do.”  
Ben nodded, a shadow passing over his face. “Yeah, I get that.” I didn’t know then about the things he carried, the weight of his mother’s death earlier that year or the way his father’s harsh words echoed in his head.  
“Here.” He said handing me an old book. “It’s my favourite.”  
He was kind but I could see the sadness in his eyes, the kind that doesn’t go away with time. As the weeks passed, we fell into an easy companionship. Ben would help me with my chores, carrying buckets of soapy water or reaching high shelves that I couldn’t. I didn’t think he liked the work, but he just wanted someone to talk to. 
We talked about everything and nothing – books, school, the future we both dreamed of but felt so far out of reach. One afternoon, we were sitting under the old oak tree in the backyard for my break, the sun filtering through the leaves, casting dappled shadows on the grass.  
Ben was unusually quiet, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “Are you okay?” I asked softly. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s my dad. He… he’s... Everything I do is wrong. I can’t make him happy.” I didn’t know what to say.  
I’d seen Mr. Harrison’s temper, the way his face would turn red and his voice would rise until it seemed like the walls themselves were trembling. “I’m sorry,” I said finally. “That sounds really hard.” Ben nodded, his eyes meeting mine.  
We sat there for a long time, the silence between us comfortable. As we were getting up from the grass so I could work again, Ben took the heavy bucket out of my hands, just as Mr. Harrison walked out. His eyes zoned in on Ben helping me, his face contorted with anger. 
“What do you think you’re doing, Benjamin?” he roared, his voice echoing through the hallway. “I don’t pay you to laze around, girl! I pay you and your mother to do the work. Not him!” I froze. Ben’s grip tightened, his knuckles white against the handle.  
He flinched at his father's words, shrinking back as if he’d been struck. I could see the fear in his eyes, a raw and vulnerable look that made my heart ache. “Dad, I was just...” Ben started, his voice small and shaky.  
“You were just what?” Mr. Harrison cut him off, stepping closer. “Just wasting time? Just shirking your responsibilities? You think you can just do whatever you please?”  
“It’s my fault,” I said quickly, stepping forward. “I asked Ben to help me. It won’t happen again, sir.” Mr. Harrison turned his glare on me, his eyes cold and hard. “See that it doesn’t,” he said, his voice low and threatening. “Get back to work."  
He stormed off, leaving a heavy silence in his wake. Ben and I stood there for a moment, the bucket between us, the weight of his father's anger still lingering in the air. “I’m sorry,” Ben said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “He’s not usually this bad, he just has a bad day.”  
I shook my head, forcing a small smile. “It’s okay. Let’s just finish this.” I worked in silence for the rest of the day, the easy companionship we’d found overshadowed by the tension Mr. Harrison had left behind.  
I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Ben had flinched, the fear in his eyes. It wasn’t right. No one should have to live like that. That night, as Mom and I walked home, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.  
“Mom, why does Mr. Harrison treat Ben like that? It’s not fair.” Mom sighed, her shoulders heavy with the weight of her own experiences in that house. “Life isn’t always fair, Y/N. Mr. Harrison… he’s a hard man. Losing his wife made him even harder. Ben’s caught in the middle of all that anger and grief.” “ 
But it’s not Ben’s fault,” I insisted, frustration bubbling up inside me. “He’s just a kid, you never treated me like that when dad left.” “I know, sweetheart,” Mom said gently. “But sometimes, people lash out at those closest to them when they’re hurting. It’s not right, but it happens. All we can do is be kind and supportive where we can.”  
Sometime later, at the end of the summer, I was dusting the grand staircase when I heard voices coming from Mr. Harrison’s study. The door was slightly open, and I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation inside.  
“I don’t want to go back to boarding school, Dad,” Ben was saying, his voice strained. “You don’t get a say in this, Ben,” Mr. Harrison replied harshly. “You’ve been spending too much time with the maid, what will people say. You need to learn your place and some manners. Boarding school is just good for you.”  
“But, Dad...”  
“No! Pack your things. You’re leaving tomorrow. ”I stepped back, my heart heavy. The thought of Ben leaving filled me with an unexpected sadness. He was the only person in that big, cold house who made it feel warm and alive.  
That evening, as the sun began to set right before we were about to leave, I sneaked up to Ben’s room. The door was slightly open, and I could see him inside, his suitcase half-packed on the bed. He looked up as I entered, surprise and relief flashing in his green eyes.  
“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice tinged with sadness. “I heard you’re leaving,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. He nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Yeah. Dad’s sending me back to boarding school.”  
I took a step closer, my heart pounding. “I just wanted to say goodbye.” Ben stood up, his eyes locking onto mine. For a moment, neither of us moved, the air between us thick with unspoken words. Then, he stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. It was a quick, desperate motion, as if he was afraid to let go.  
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. The feeling of his arms around me was both comforting and electrifying, and I felt a warmth spread through me that I hadn’t expected.  
“Thank you,” he whispered into my hair. “For being my friend.”  
“Always,” I whispered back, my voice choked with emotion. “You’ll be okay, Ben. You’re stronger than you know.” We stood there for what felt like an eternity, neither of us wanting to break the embrace.  
Ben pulled back, “I’ll write to you,” he said, his voice firm. “Every chance I get.” I nodded, blinking back my own tears. With one last, lingering look, I turned and left the room, the weight of our goodbye settling heavily on my shoulders. 
The next day, I watched from a distance as the car took Ben away, his face pressed against the window, watching the house grow smaller. I waved, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. And as the car disappeared from my view, I made another silent promise to myself: I would be here, waiting, whenever he came back.  
Almost a year had passed since Ben left for boarding school. True to his word, he wrote to me whenever he could. His letters were my lifeline to him, filled with stories about his life there.  
At first, they were full of loneliness and homesickness, how he didn’t have many friends and felt out of place. But gradually, the tone of his letters changed. He wrote about sneaking out of the dormitories, getting into trouble, and even about a girl he met while sneaking out, who had kissed him. 
I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when I read that part. It felt like he was slipping away, becoming someone different. Someone who wasn’t just my Ben anymore. His letters became less frequent over the winter, and I was disappointed he didn’t come home for Christmas.  
It made me worry about the kind of person he was turning into. But now it was summer, and he was supposed to stay for at least a few weeks. I felt a mix of nervous and happy to see him again.  
Nervous because I wasn’t sure what to expect after all this time. Happy because, despite everything, he was still Ben, and I missed him more than I cared to admit. The day he arrived, the sun was blazing, and the air was thick with humidity. I was helping Mom in the garden, pulling weeds and tending to the flowers. We heard the car pull up, and my heart skipped a beat.  
I wiped my hands on my apron and stood up, trying to calm the fluttering in my stomach. There he was, stepping out of the car, taller and more confident than I remembered. His green eyes still had that familiar spark, but there was something different about him.  
A new hardness around the edges, a maturity that hadn’t been there before. He saw me standing by the garden and smiled, a slow, almost hesitant smile. “Y/N!” he called, waving. “Ben!” I called back, unable to keep the grin off my face.  
I ran to him, my heart pounding with a mix of joy and anxiety. He met me halfway, and before I could say anything, he pulled me into a hug. It was different from the last one, more grown-up somehow, but it still felt like coming home.  
The butterflies in my stomach were back, more intense than ever. “I’ve missed you,” he said, his voice soft in my ear. “I missed you too,” I replied, pulling back to look at him. “You’ve changed.”  
He shrugged, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “Boarding school does that to you, I guess. But it’s still me, Y/N.” “I know,” I said, smiling. “Come on, let’s go inside. You must be tired or hungry, I can make you something.”  
Mom watched us getting back to the house, Ben smiled polite and nodded to her when I pulled him by his arm. I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. He was here, and for the next few weeks, we would be together again.  
As we reached the door, I glanced at him, hoping that the boy I knew was still there, underneath all the changes. And as he looked back at me with that same old twinkle in his eye, I felt a flicker of hope.  
Maybe things hadn’t changed as much as I feared.  
That night at dinner, the tension in the dining room was palpable. Mr. Harrison dominated the conversation, droning on about business and politics, while Ben and I sat in uncomfortable silence.  
Ben's father hardly acknowledged him, only speaking to tell him what he should or shouldn't be doing. I was helping Mom serve dinner, carrying plates of roast chicken and mashed potatoes from the kitchen to the table.  
When I brought a fresh drink to Ben, he looked up at me and winked. It was a small, playful gesture, but it caught me off guard. I blushed, my cheeks heating up, and in my flustered state, I accidentally spilled some of the drink onto the table. 
Mr. Harrison's face darkened, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Ben. “What’s the matter with you, Benjamin?” he snapped. “Haven’t you learned not to upset with a young girl like that, is that what they teach you in school? Look at the mess you’re causing.”  
Ben's expression tightened, a flicker of the old fear and anger flashing in his eyes. “It was an accident, Dad,” he said quietly. “An accident,” Mr. Harrison scoffed, shaking his head. “You’ve been back for less than a day, and you’re already causing trouble. You’re an embarrassment.”  
Ben clenched his jaw, his hands curling into fists on the table. I could see the effort it took for him to stay silent, to not lash out. My heart ached for him, wishing I could do something to make it better. 
“I’m sorry, sir,” I said quickly, trying to defuse the situation. “It was my fault. I wasn’t upset, Ben didn’t upset me, Sir.” Mr. Harrison barely glanced at me, his attention fixed on his son. “Maybe you should learn from Y/N’s example, Benjamin. At least she knows how to take responsibility for her mistakes.”  
Ben’s eyes met mine and I could see the hurt and frustration in them. He gave me a small, tight smile, trying to reassure me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. After dinner, I helped Mom clear the table while Ben retreated to the library.  
Once the kitchen was cleaned up, I found him there, staring out the window into the darkening yard. His shoulders were slumped, the confident, playful boy I’d seen earlier replaced by someone who looked tired and beaten down.  
“Ben,” I said softly, stepping into the room. “Are you okay?” He turned to look at me, his eyes weary. “I’m fine, Y/N. It’s just… him. He always knows how to get under my skin.” I walked over to him, placing a hand on his arm. “You don’t have to let him. You’re stronger than he thinks.”  
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.” I could feel the heat of his skin coming through his shirt “You’re not alone. I’m here.” I said. He looked at me, a small smile tugging at his lips. I smiled back, my heart fluttering, my eyes land on his perfect plump lips.  
“Come on. Let’s go outside. The night’s too beautiful to waste in here.” We slipped out into the garden, the cool night air a welcome relief from the oppressive atmosphere of the house. As we walked, the stars twinkling above us, I could see some of the tension easing from Ben’s shoulders.  
For a while, we just walked in silence, the only sounds the chirping of crickets and the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze. Finally, Ben spoke, his voice low and thoughtful. “I hate that he makes me feel like this,” he said. “Like I’m never good enough.”  
“You are good enough,” I said firmly, stopping to look at him. “Don’t let him make you forget that.” He looked at me, his green eyes bright in the moonlight, his skin had a cool glow. “You’re amazing, Y/N. You know that?” I blushed again, looking down glad the night sky didn’t show it.  
“I’m just being honest.” I said. 
He reached out, lifting my chin so I had to meet his gaze. “And that’s why you’re amazing.” For a moment, we just stood there, looking at each other. Then, slowly, he leaned down.” My heart raced, I closed my eyes. “He kissed my cheek, a soft, lingering touch that sent a shiver down my spine. “Thank you, for being my only friend.” he whispered, his breath warm against my skin. 
I opened my eyes, I don’t know if I had to be glad or disappointed but I knew he meant well.” Same goes for you.” I whispered.  
That summer, Ben and I spent as much time together as we could. We explored the woods behind the estate, swam in the cool creek that wound through the property, and lay in the grass watching the clouds drift by.  
Every moment felt precious, like I was storing up memories to carry me through the long months when he’d be gone again. In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but hope that Ben would start to feel the same way about me as I did about him.  
But as the days passed, it became clear that his heart was somewhere else. Or rather, with someone else. Her name was Emily. Ben had met her while he sneaked out on night, and he couldn’t stop talking about her. Emily was funny, Emily was smart, Emily loved to read the same books he did.  
Each mention of her name felt like a small, sharp pang in my chest, but I forced myself to smile and listen, pretending it didn’t hurt. One afternoon, we were sitting by the creek, our feet dangling in the cool water.  
Ben was skipping stones across the surface, his eyes alight with excitement. “And then Emily said,” he began, launching into another story about her. I nodded, trying to keep the smile on my face. “She sounds great,” I said, forcing the words out. “She is,” he said, grinning. “I wish you could meet her. You’d like her.”  
“Yeah,” I replied, looking down at the water. “Maybe one day.” He didn’t notice the strain in my voice, too wrapped up in his own thoughts he just kept rambling on “That’s great, Ben,” I said, my heart sinking. I wanted to be happy for him, I really did. But it was hard when it felt like I was losing him to someone I’d never even met.  
As the weeks went by, I tried to push my feelings aside, to focus on the time we had together. We laughed and talked and shared secrets, and I clung to those moments, hoping they would be enough to sustain me. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the sadness that settled in my chest whenever Ben mentioned Emily.  
It was a constant reminder that his heart belonged to someone else, and no amount of wishing could change that. One evening, as we sat on the porch steps watching the sun set, I couldn’t hold it any longer.  
“Ben,” I said softly, staring at the horizon, “do you ever think about the future?” He glanced at me, a curious look on his face. “Of course. Why?” “I just… I wonder what it’ll be like. For us, I mean.” I kept my eyes fixed on the setting sun, afraid to see his reaction. He was silent for a moment. 
He reached out and took my hand, his grip warm and reassuring. "You’re important to me, you know that right?” A flicker of hope washed over me. “You’re my best friend.” at there goes it again, my heart sank. “Thanks, Ben,” I whispered, squeezing his hand. It wasn’t the answer I wanted but I couldn’t tell him. 
As the summer drew to a close, I tried to make the most of every moment we had left. I laughed at his jokes, listened to his stories, and pretended my heart wasn’t breaking a little more each day.  
When the time came for him to leave, we stood by the gate, the same place where we’d said goodbye the year before. He hugged me tightly, and I held on, trying to memorize the feel of his arms around me.  
“I’ll write to you,” he promised, pulling back to look at me. “I know you will,” I said, forcing a smile. He gave me one last, lingering look, then turned and walked away.  
-- 
Dear Y/N,  
I hope you’re doing well and everything’s good back home. How’s your mom? I miss you both. The house must feel so empty without all of us around. Sometimes, I miss the quiet of the estate and the sound of the creek we used to visit. Things here at school are… well, they’re complicated.  
Remember Emily? Turns out, things didn’t work out between us. She left for another school, and we kind of lost touch. It was hard at first, but I guess it was for the best. Life moves on, right? 
Speaking of moving on, there’s someone new I want to tell you about. Her name is Cathy. She’s got this incredible red hair that shines like copper in the sunlight, and she’s got the most beautiful long legs.  
She’s not just pretty; she’s smart and funny, too. We’ve been spending a lot of time together, and she makes this place a little more bearable. Cathy’s different from anyone I’ve ever met. She’s confident and knows what she wants. I feel like I can be myself around her, which is a nice change.  
She’s been helping me with my history homework, and I’m helping her with different things. It’s a good balance. 
I can’t wait to see you again. I’ll be home for Christmas this year, so we can catch up properly. Maybe we can visit the creek and talk like we used to. I miss those talks. 
Take care, Y/N. Write back soon and tell me all about what’s happening there. I want to hear everything.  
Yours always,  
Ben 
** 
Dear Ben,  
It was so good to get your letter. I’m glad to hear things are going well for you at school and that you’ve met someone who makes you happy. Cathy sounds wonderful, and I’m really glad you have someone like her in your life.  
Things here have been… difficult. My mom is very ill. The doctors don’t know if she’s going to make it till Christmas. It’s been so hard watching her get weaker every day.  
Your dad has been kind enough to pay for the medical bills, but I have to work twice as hard now. The house feels so empty without you, and I miss the times we spent together more than ever. 
It’s strange how life can change so quickly. One moment, everything feels normal, and the next, it’s like the ground has shifted beneath your feet. I’ve been trying to stay strong, but some days it feels impossible.  
Your letters help, though. They remind me of better times and give me something to look forward to. I miss you, Ben. I miss our talks, just having you around, you know? The creek feels lonely without you, and the oak tree doesn’t feel like our spot without you sitting beside me.  
I hope you can come home for Christmas. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I really need a friend right now. Take care of yourself, Ben, please write back soon.  
Your letters mean the world to me.  
Yours always,  
Y/N 
-- 
A few days before Christmas, everything changed.  
My mom’s battle with illness came to an end, and the world seemed to stop turning for a moment. The grief was overwhelming, and I felt lost in a sea of sorrow. Mr. Harrison was kind enough to allow me time off to arrange the funeral, but it was a blur of tears and heartache.  
On the day of the funeral, Ben came home. I didn’t expect to see him so soon. But when he heard what happened he jumped on the first train home. On the day of the funeral, he stood at the back during the service, a quiet figure under a tree, watching from a distance.  
When it was time for one more greeting, he walked up to me last. His presence brought a small comfort, a reminder of the friendship we shared. I couldn’t hold back the tears when he approached me.  
He held out a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen. They were a mix of roses and lilies, vibrant and full of life, just like my mom had been. I took them from him with trembling hands, unable to find the words to express my gratitude. “They’re for your mom,” Ben said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought… she deserved something beautiful.” 
My tears now flowed freely, a mixture of grief and relief to see him there. Ben didn’t say anything at first; he just pulled me into a gentle hug, his warmth a balm to my broken heart. After a moment, he stepped back and looked at me. I knew he knew what I felt.  
After the funeral, Ben stayed with me as I faced the daunting task of packing up my mom’s belongings. His presence made the sorrow a little easier to bear, his quiet strength a steady anchor in the storm of emotions.  
As the days passed and Christmas drew nearer, Ben helped me with everything, from organizing, to going to the shop and putting up the tree and lights. His kindness and understanding meant more to me than words could express.  
On Christmas Day, they sat in the dining room, the twinkling lights of the tree casting a warm glow over the room. It wasn’t the Christmas I had imagined, but it was good that I had to work, I could at least try to keep my mind off of things. 
During dinner, while I was busy working around the table, Mr. Harrison's question caught me off guard. "Y/N, where will you live now?" he asked, his voice surprisingly gentle. I paused, setting down a plate, unsure how to respond.  
With my mom gone and my dad out of the picture for many years, the reality of my situation was stark. I couldn’t afford to keep our room anymore, and I hadn’t yet figured out my next steps. 
Mr. Harrison continued, his tone almost compassionate, "You know, Y/N, the house feels empty. I could use some extra help who lives in house. You wouldn’t get paid as much anymore, but you’d have a roof over your head and three meals a day. What do you say?” 
His offer took me by surprise. “I… I don’t know what to say,” I stammered, feeling a mix of gratitude and hesitation. “Your mom has been part of this household for so long, Y/N,” Mr. Harrison said, his expression softening. “You’re like family. It’s the least I can do.”  
I glanced at Ben, who was watching silently from his seat. His eyes met mine briefly, and I saw a flicker of understanding and support. “Thank you,” I finally managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I gladly accept your offer, sir.” Relief washed over me, knowing I would have a place to stay, at least for now.  
It wasn’t what I had imagined for myself, but in that moment, it was the best option I had. I would figure out the rest as I went along.  
After dinner, Ben knocked softly on the door of my new room, and I welcomed him in with a smile. The space was bigger than what I was used to, but it felt warm and safe, a stark contrast to the uncertainty I had felt just days ago.  
He climbed on my bed, my hearts raced, As we lay side by side on the bed, the room illuminated softly by the lamp on the bedside table, I couldn’t help but remark, “You know, Ben, this is the nicest room I’ve ever slept in.”  
He chuckled softly, his eyes meeting mine in the dim light. “I’m glad you like it. You deserve to have a nice place to call home.” He reached out and squeezed my hand. “You’re family, Y/N. We take care of each other.”  
We talked late into the night, sharing memories of our summers together and dreams for the future. The weight of my grief felt lighter with Ben by my side, his presence a comfort in the darkness. Then, in a quiet moment, Ben confessed,  
“I broke up with Cathy.” Surprised, I turned to look at him. “Oh? What happened?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It just wasn’t working out. She was so jealous all the time, always questioning where I was and who I was writing to. It got exhausting.” 
“I’m sorry, Ben,” I murmured, feeling for him. “That must have been tough.” He nodded, his expression somber. “Yeah. But maybe it’s for the best. I want someone who trusts me and who I can be myself around.”  
“You’ll find someone like that,” I assured him, squeezing his hand. he smiled and turned to me "maybe" he said, I could have sworn I saw his face move closer to mine. Or maybe it was just my mind playing tricks. 
A little later I drifted off to sleep, a sense of peace settled over me, knowing I was safe and cared for in my new home. Ben’s presence beside me brought a comfort I hadn’t felt in a long time.  
As I lay there, he settled in beside me, his arm pulling me closer, his hand gently caressing my arm, I couldn’t help but feel a deepening connection between us.  
In my dream, I saw him clearly, crawling on the bed hovering over me, like I was looking at an angel. The early morning sunshine streamed through the window, casting a warm glow over his face.  
His freckles stood out like constellations against his skin, and his green eyes sparkled with a warmth that reached deep into my soul. His light brown hair, now kissed with hints of blond from the sun, framed his face perfectly. I couldn’t look away.  
Mesmerized by his beauty, I felt my heart swell with a mixture of admiration and something more, a longing that I had been afraid to acknowledge until now. His perfect eyes looked at my lips before he closed the space between us. 
I took a deep breath and as I woke from my dream, the lingering warmth of Ben’s touch on my skin brought a sense of comfort, but as I fully emerged from sleep, I realized he was no longer beside me.  
A pang of disappointment and unease settled in my chest. I glanced around the room, half-expecting to see him there, but it was empty except for me. The covers beside me were cool and I couldn’t shake the feeling of his absence. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, trying to push away the lingering traces of the dream and the sense of loss it had left behind. 
Ben had left before morning, and although I knew it wasn’t unusual for him to be up early, a part of me wished he had stayed, just a little longer. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, feeling the cool floor beneath my feet.  
The emptiness of the room echoed the emptiness in my heart, reminding me of the fragile balance of our new arrangement. With a sigh, I stood up and began to get ready for the day, pushing aside my mixed emotions.  
-- 
Ben’s POV:  
As Ben woke that morning, he felt the soft weight of Y/N’s body nestled against him, her warmth a comforting presence in the early light filtering through the curtains. Opening his eyes, he watched as sunlight gently kissed her face, casting a serene glow over her features.  
She looked so peaceful asleep, a stark contrast to the worries and uncertainties that often plagued their lives. Brushing a strand of hair away from her face, Ben couldn’t help but feel a surge of conflicting emotions.  
In the quiet of the morning, with Y/N in his arms, he allowed himself to acknowledge the depth of his feelings for her. Her friendship had always been a constant in his life, a source of strength and understanding.  
But now, as he looked at her sleeping form, he realized that his feelings had shifted, deepening into something more. He broke with any girl the second he realised they weren’t like her. Why he didn’t confess to her? He was afraid to let her go, afraid of losing the bond they had shared for so long.  
The thought of risking their friendship for something uncertain weighed heavily on his mind. Yet, in that moment, with her soft breaths against his chest and the warmth of her body against his, he couldn’t deny the pull he felt towards her.  
Quietly, he traced the curve of her cheek with his finger, saving the moment to memory. Ben reluctantly untangled himself from Y/N's embrace. Her soft breathing and the warmth of her body lingered in his mind as he quietly slipped out of the room.  
He paused by the doorway, casting one last glance back at her sleeping form, conflicted emotions swirling within him. He knew he had to leave before she woke up. The weight of their evolving relationship and the fear of jeopardizing their friendship weighed heavily on his heart.  
Closing the door softly behind him, Ben took a deep breath, trying to steady his thoughts. 
-- 
Weeks passed and I didn’t receive a single letter from Ben yet. I wondered if I did anything wrong? Mr. Harrison was very nice to me the days Ben wasn’t home. I did do the household as told but he asked me to join him for dinner.  
He said eating alone wasn’t fun for the both of us, so he asked me to join him in the dining room. I accepted since I was the only maid who stayed at the house and ate the same meal.  
Ben’s POV: 
Ben had made a few new friends at boarding school. Since he beat up a fellow student some of the tougher guys at school started to like him. And found himself in a situation he had never anticipated.  
His new friends, older and more experienced, had convinced him to sneak out for a night of drinking. As they laughed and joked, the thrill of being accepted by this group masked his growing unease.  
In the dimly lit bar, the boys stood amidst the haze of alcohol. It was a quiet night, only them and a woman, who did seem to approach him. She was older, maybe around 25, and her confidence was palpable. Ben felt a mix of excitement and nervousness as she leaned in close, her perfume enveloping him. " 
“Hey there, handsome," she purred, her voice husky with allure. "Care to join me for a drink?" Ben's heart raced. He had never been in a situation like this before. His friends egged him on with knowing smirks, whispering encouragement that only fuelled his curiosity and apprehension.  
Caught between the desire to fit in and the uncertainty of what was happening, Ben hesitated. He wasn't sure how to respond to this bold advance from a woman who seemed so sure of herself.  
Deep down, though, he knew this wasn't what he wanted. He thought of Y/N, the girl who had always been there, understanding and kind. As the woman leaned closer, her perfume enveloping him in a heady haze, Ben felt a surge of conflicting emotions, excitement, fear, and a deep-seated longing for something more meaningful. 
As Ben agreed to accompany the woman to a more private booth, backs facing his friends. His mind raced with a mix of exhilaration and nervousness. His older friends continued to joke and laugh at the bar, seemingly unconcerned with what was unfolding.  
In the dimly lit booth, the woman wasted no time in making her intentions clear, her hand caressed his thigh, her eyes never leaving him, while her tongue moved ever so slow over her lips. She moved close to Ben, her touch bold and unfamiliar.  
Her actions were assertive, almost aggressive, leaving Ben feeling overwhelmed and out of his depth. As she leaned in closer, whispering suggestive words in his ear, Ben struggled to respond. His thoughts raced back to the one girl he truly cared about, the one he wished he could share moments like this with Y/N.  
He felt a pang of guilt and regret, knowing that this experience was far from what he truly wanted. He didn't want to appear inexperienced or foolish in front his new friends, especially after they had egged him on and joked about the situation.  
With a mix of nervousness and a desire to please, Ben hesitated for a moment. The woman's eyes searched his, a mix of anticipation and assurance. In that fleeting moment, Ben made a split-second decision, he leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was awkward and uncertain, lacking the passion and connection he had imagined in his fantasies.  
It felt more like a performance, a scripted response to the situation he found himself in. But his teenage body thought differently. The physical sensations sparked by the kiss and the woman's closeness stirred a primal reaction.  
His heartbeat quickened, adrenaline surged through his veins, and a sense of exhilaration momentarily masked the discomfort and uncertainty he felt. In that fleeting moment, the physicality of the kiss overpowered the intellectual and emotional dissonance he experienced.  
His teenage body, attuned to new experiences and heightened sensations, responded with a not to ignore erection. 
Her hand moved down and Ben did his best to keep his breath steady. The woman looked over her shoulder to his friend, but all of them were too busy to get drunk. She slipped in between his knees, Ben’s eyes widen.  
“What are you...” But she hushed him with a finger over his mouth. Within a minute he felt her lips around his erection. The feeling made him react on instinct, throwing his head back and letting out a deep breath.  
The second after that he felt a little unsure, looking around, the woman noticed, ordering him to look at her. Unable to think straight he closed his eye, his mind raced back to Y/N. The sight of her working him made it hard not to let go.  
When she noticed he had a hard time keeping control he lifted her skirt and straddled him, it was the first time Ben had felt a woman like that, it wasn’t what he expected of it, but it was nice, almost an addicted feeling. A few rough bounced from her and he couldn’t hold back anymore. 
While he tried to hold his groans quiet, she pulled him to her chest. The second his release ebb away she stood up and walked away towards the bar. Ben let his head fall back out of breath and watched her. She walked over to his friends, one of them handed her money.  
He looked at Ben and smirked, he just shook his head thinking that his friends were crazy. As he rejoined them, they all laughed. Saying how he now was a real man. The one who paid smacked a hand on his shoulder. 
“Since you seemed unable to find a girl who was willing to all the way with you, we thought we might lend you a hand.” Ben shook his head smiling. “By paying a fucking hooker?” The guys started laughing. “Yeah, well next time you need to find your own pussy, Benny-boy.”  
He smiled like the rest of them, but deep down he felt guilty. How was he supposed to act around Y/N now? How was he going to be able to look her in her eyes and act normal ever again? 
--
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kingofpopmj · 1 year ago
Text
Conscious Decision
Part 4
July 16th, 1988
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*Michael’s POV*
“I think my mom is upset I stole you from her.” I said playfully. She shook her head laughing.
“Well, I am her favorite.” She teased. We were getting ready for the day. Together. For a moment, I imagined we were a normal couple getting ready for work. She was heading off to the hospital while I was off to the office. We lived in a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood. We lived nearby the school, so our kids could ride their bikes. Our kids were kids. We were happy. “She’s not mad. She loves us together.” Y/N added kissing my shoulder.
Thankfully, it took very little convincing to get Y/N to move into my suite. It’s a bit more spacious and more importantly there are two beds. We’ve shared a bed before, but given recent events in our relationship sharing a bed came with added pressure. I don’t want to rush anything and ruin this. This was a lifetime in the making.
As much as I want to completely immerse myself in Y/N, in our relationship, I have to be smart about it. I have to be careful. I’d never forgive myself if I put her in danger. I don’t want to be this paranoid, but so much has changed over the past few years. This life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I do my best to adapt to the circumstances without compromising who I am. I’m human. I’m not that different. I’m not weird even though people try mercilessly to label me as such.
I sit on the bed watching her style her hair and I could feel my heart rate increase. I remember doing this exact same thing throughout our relationship. When we were kids I nagged her, sometimes threw a pillow or two to get her to hurry. Then, as teenagers I had to fight the urge to stare- to admire her the entire time. It was some of the best and worst times of my life. We were so close. She was so close yet so far. And now, we’re here, where we belong.
Y/N is my safe haven. She always has been. She’s always the one I run to. When my dad lost his temper. When my brothers teased me. When I felt unworthy. When I felt I couldn’t handle the world watching me constantly. When I let the awful words of the press affect me. As long as I protect her she’ll always be there. She won’t have to struggle to adapt if I just keep her safe.
She’s everything. She’s my everything.
She was the first person I confided in when I noticed discoloration on my chest and legs. She didn’t wince at the sight, she didn’t call me names and above everything she didn’t treat me different. She helped me find the best dermatologist and she was with me every step of the way. I guess that’s one of the advantages of your best friend being a doctor. Y/N made sure I got the best care. She explained everything to me in a way I could understand. She protected me from being poked and prodded at. She refused to let anyone treat me like a walking circus act, which unfortunately has become my new normal.
“I’m ready.” I heard her sweet voice and immediately she had my undivided attention.
“After you my lady.” I smiled holding my arm out for her to take.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to tag along?”
“You’re only here a few more days. I want as much Y/N time as I can get.” I giggled as we piled into the elevator. I’m accompanied by guards everywhere I go, but lately it’s dawned on me just how abnormal it is. My life has changed so much and being with Y/N I can’t help but notice it all. She reminds me of everything I love. Everything I’ve been missing out on. Everything I never want to be without.
“I’m not ready to leave you.” She said softly wrapping her arms around my waist. She subtly surveyed the small space filled with giant men before pulling away from me.
“Don’t.” I whispered pulling her back into me. Usually, I avoid physical touch, public displays of affection, but that doesn’t apply to Y/N. She has her own set of rules. That means she could do absolutely anything she wants to me, for me, around me and I’m all for it. She makes me feel everything. She makes me feel. No matter what’s going on around us I can be myself with her. Our own little world; my escape. It’s a feeling I thought I’d lost forever, but I was wrong.
“Wait!” I turned to Y/N as the elevator came to a stop. The noise from outside becoming overwhelming as the doors opened. I stood for a moment trying to think. “Here.” I took my jacket off before throwing it over her head.
“Michael, what’s going on?” Her voice was muffled and slightly annoyed.
“Just trust me.” I secured my face mask before stepping out of the elevator guiding Y/N beside me.
“I can’t see.” She complained. “Is this really necessary?”
“I got you.” The screams intensified as we neared the exit. “We’re almost there.” I held onto her as the crowd enclosed around us. There was very little I could do while the guards formed a path to the car. Once the door was opened I helped Y/N inside and climbed in behind her. She ripped the jacket off her head revealing her messy hair.
“Do I have to do that all the time?” She huffed trying to fix her hair.
“Maybe.” I smiled nervously.
“Why?”
“Look, I’m going to shout from the rooftops I have a girl. The best girl. I’m taken as far as they’ll know, but I want to— I need to protect you from the craziness.”
“I see. I guess I understand that.”
“They’ll find out everything about you overnight. It’ll be front page news in the morning. True or not. Unfortunately, fabricated stories sell better, so that’s usually what they strive for.”
“Thank you for protecting me.” She adjusted laying her head in my lap looking up at me. “Just like when we were kids. You used to throw dirt at those kids to get them to leave us alone.”
“I may have to bring that move back.” I smiled at the memory. “And it serves them right, especially, that Antonio.”
“Here we go.”
“He had a crush on you and he would bug me endlessly because you were always with me. Then, he had the nerve to ask you to prom in high school. That- that fathead.”
“Fathead?” She laughed uncontrollably. It was music to my ears. “I said no! I went to prom with you.”
“I remember.”
“I like you better without this.” She sat up untying my face mask. “There he is.”
“You’re making me blush.”
“Good.”
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“Dance with me.” I pulled Y/N on stage with me as the band practiced.
“This is very discreet.” She playfully rolled her eyes.
“I trust everyone here. Plus, they really like you. They like us.” I booped her nose making her smile.
“I was thinking about our date tonight. What if we move it to tomorrow afternoon? I mean you’re going to be exhausted after the show. I don’t want to keep you from getting rest.”
“No! No. I already have everything planned. It’s happening. Prepare to be swept off your feet.”
“Oh, Mr. Jackson is that smugness I hear?”
“Nope. It’s not smugness, it’s confidence!”
“Confidence. Is that so?”
“Yes, because I finally got the girl.”
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The curtain closed behind me and I shrugged off my letterman jacket. As Karen touched up my makeup I looked over to find Y/N sitting off to the side. She was in deep conversation with my mother about god knows what. My mom smirked at me before making my stare known. Y/N winked blowing a few kisses my way. I instantly felt giddy. My face felt hot and I hoped no one else would notice.
“She’s a good one.” Karen whispered to me.
“She’s the one.” It slipped out and even though I meant it. It was a different feeling to say it out loud.
“I think so too.” She grinned clapping her hands. “Your mom and I kept wondering how long it was going to take you two. We almost put a bet together with Greg and the guys. I think it’s great. You deserve someone who makes you genuinely happy. Above all, she loved you before all this, she loves you in-spite of all this.”
“She did. She does.”
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The drive back to the hotel was about an hour. I couldn’t stop fidgeting. Our first date was minutes away and I needed everything to be perfect.
“Katherine wants to have breakfast together.” Y/N spoke from beside me.
“I think I have some press stuff early, but after works. It’ll have to be a brunch.”
“I’ll let her know. She really wants to see us. She has many questions, but I thought it’d be more fun to leave you to answer them.”
“Yeah, she’s been planning our wedding since we were twelve.”
“You’re lying!”
“I’m not. One day, Jermaine was teasing me because I was too chicken to admit I liked you. He threatened to put the moves on you since I was too scared to do it. My mom lit him up. She threw a biscuit at his head.” I let out a deep belly laugh as I recalled that explosive family dinner. “She told him- well everyone that you were going to be her daughter-in-law one day, but he would not be your groom.”
“Wow.”
“It was the best day. I’ve never seen anyone put Jermaine in his place like that.”
“She’s the best.”
“She really is.”
We sat in the car looking out of the tinted windows. The crowds outside our hotel had multiplied, but were slightly more controlled since barricades were put up.
“Michael, there are so many people.” Y/N said in awe. “You should stay out for a bit. Aw, look!” There was a little girl holding up a sparkly pink poster that read ‘It’s my birthday! My only wish is a hug from Michael!’
“Alright, I’m going to have Bill escort you inside.” I leaned in kissing her. I could feel her lips curve up into a smile. Oh, her lips taste like candy. The kiss intensified as our hands began to roam each other’s bodies. Goodness, she’s so addicting. It ended as quickly as it began when a loud knock on the window startled us. I gave her one last look before stepping out of the car closing the door behind me. “Please get her inside safely. I won’t be long wait in the lobby.” I told Bill receiving a nod in return. “Thank you.”
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“Hey there rockstar!” Y/N laughed as I entered the lobby. “Can I have an autograph too?” She pouted.
“You can have more than an autograph.” I teased as my arm found its place around her waist.
“You’re bad.” She closed her eyes as a blush painted over her face.
“You haven’t even seen the half of it.” We laughed loudly as other guests looked at us in confusion. “Let’s go before we get kicked out.”
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“Michael, oh my goodness.”
“I went down to the shop, but I couldn’t decide they were all so beautiful.” I watched as she took small steps into our hotel room stopping to admire each flower arrangement. “I kind of just got all of them. They all have different meanings and each one reminded me of you.” She bent down touching the pedals of a white rose.
“Those mean eternal loyalty, love and new beginnings.”
“That’s fitting.” She smiled sniffing a light pink peony.
“Those mean love, honor and happiness.” Each step she took I was right behind her. The flowers lined the walls on both sides of us making the walkway very narrow, nonetheless, it was a stunning sight.
“Sunflowers mean positivity, strength and strong bonds. Red roses mean romance and passion. The white peony means-“ she twirled around cutting me off with a kiss.
“I can’t believe you did all of this.” She leaned into me. “It’s like my own private botanical garden.” She giggled hugging me tighter.
“The surprises have just begun my love.” I quickly lifted her off the ground throwing her over my shoulder and ran down the rest of the path.
“Don’t you dare drop me!”
“Let’s eat.” I placed her down and led her out onto the balcony. A candle lit dinner awaited us. I walked over to her chair pulling it out for her.
“How did you do all this?”
“I have my ways.”
“I can’t believe you did all of this for me. It’s beautiful.”
“I’d do anything for you.”
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After we finished dinner we decided to relax outside and do some stargazing. There was the distant sound of the city, but it was peaceful.
“Y/N, I really wish you wouldn’t leave.”
“I can visit again in a few months.”
“Months?” I loudly blurted which startled her. “Sorry.” I avoided her eyes as I stood up walking inside. I didn’t realize how fast I was walking until I heard her voice from behind me.
“You can visit me too.”
“I’m busy. My calendar is booked months in advance. I barely have anytime for myself.”
“Okay.. so what do you have in mind?”
“Stay. Travel with me.”
“Michael, that sounds incredible it really does, but I have a job I can’t just disappear.”
“Quit.”
“I love my job.”
“Don’t you love me?”
“I do love you.”
“Then I don’t understand the issue.” I shook my head falling back onto the mattress. I wasn’t necessarily proud of what was coming out of my mouth, but it was too late to back down now. “Anything you want or need I can take care of. I’ll do everything, anything for you.”
“Michael.”
“Y/N.” I retorted a bit more childishly than I intended.
“I love you. I want to be with you, but I can’t agree to that. I just can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You deserve to have people in your life that are there for you and only you. People that want to be in your life to add to it not take. You have so much to offer from here.” She said placing her hand over my heart. “And here.” She ran her hand along the sides of my head, tucking some hair behind my ear and kissing me sweetly. “I’m yours and I’m in love with you beyond words. I’d do anything for you, absolutely anything, but I draw the line at living off of you. I will not exploit your kindness, generosity, talent or privacy. I will never use you for my own personal gain. I will not take advantage of you. I will never betray you. I will never hurt you.”
I stood still for a moment deep in thought. I wanted to object. I wanted to fight for her to stay, but after that speech how could I?
“I understand.” I sat up looking at the wall.
“You’re upset. Please don’t be upset.”
“I like when you’re here.” I said hastily surprising even myself. “I don’t like being alone.”
“You’re not alone. I’m here.” She attempted to cuddle with me, but I moved away.
“You’re leaving in like two days.” I said, knowingly exaggerating her stay. She’ll be here with me for another few weeks, but it wasn’t enough.
“Michael, it feels like you want to fight with me.” She said sadly. “This transition from friendship to relationship is difficult enough as is. If you don’t communicate with me and tell me what you’re feeling then this is going to be… it’s not going to be good. Please don’t shut me out. I’ve waited for you my whole life.”
“I don’t want to do long distance.” I made it to my feet searching for what to say next. “I don’t want to go months without seeing each other. We’ve done it before, but that was different. We weren’t dating. I had no right complaining about how much I missed you then. I know you’ve worked hard to get where you are now. I’m so proud of you. I just- I want to know what’s going to happen in the future- our future- because I want that- a future with you- what happens when we get married or have kids? Or have kids then get married I mean either order is fine with me as long as I’m with you. It’s really up to you I mean especially the kids part-it’s your body. And then how many kids? I love kids- oh I’d love to have a big family but if we want a big family we should probably start sooner rather than later. I think we’d have beautiful babies, especially if they take after their mother. I mean I don’t know do we want them back to back? I don’t mind either way. And then what kind of house do you want? Where do you want to live? Would you continue to work? Would you quit? What would we name them? I like Prince for a boy- you know like my grandfather. Unless you hate that. Would you be a stay at home mother? Do you have baby names in mind? Would you like Neverland as our home or should I start looking for a new place? I love Neverland, but we could just have it as a vacation home I guess. Can we have a trampoline at the new place? Wait! Do you want to take my last name? I’d love that! Mr. and Mrs. Jackson- so grown up of us- Would you want me to quit what I do? I mean I could be a stay at home dad. Or would you and the kids travel with me? I mean I’m not opposed to—”
“Michael. Honey breathe.” I felt her soft hands on my cheeks and the room stopped spinning instantly. “We can discuss all this if you’d like, but let’s breathe and slow down first.”
I pulled her into me and inhaled the lovely scent of her shampoo. I held onto her like my life depended on keeping her close. I feel myself relax as she ran her delicate fingers through my hair.
“I’m sorry.” I lowly spoke.
“Michael.” Her touch sent jolts throughout my body as she undid the buttons of my top. She looked into my eyes with an expression I’ve never seen before. Oh, I hope this isn’t the last time I see that expression. I could feel what was about to happen. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
“You’re beautiful.” I said into the kiss. My blue button down shirt fell to the ground as I felt her fingers fumbling with my belt. I gently held her hands in mine in attempt to slow things down.
“You’re perfect.” Y/N said as she left tender kisses down my neck. She knew exactly what I was thinking. I was afraid for her to see me- all of me- for the first time- our first time. Her hands slid down my chest to the hem of my white v-neck. I felt myself take in a sharp breath as she pulled it over my head leaving me bare. The pads of her fingers traced the uneven marks on my chest- beauty sprinkles as Y/N calls them- and once again I felt her lips against my skin. “You’re beautiful Michael.”
“Y/N?”
“Yes Michael?”
“Marry me.”
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Hunnies!!
Part 4! 🙈
Oh my! This was a challenge. Hopefully I did Michael justice in this chapter. It was fun writing from his perspective.
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
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cycat-carisi · 9 months ago
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Commitment
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Pairing: Trevor x Nicky (1x06 Pete's Wife)
Summary/A/N: In 2x22 (The Heir) Trevor mentioned that he almost moved in with a woman, but that she wanted him to commit. In 1x06 (Pete's Wife), Trevor gets Sam to look up Nicky, a woman he thought could have been "the one". I said, why not make them the same person and explore the moment that T-Money bailed on his own happiness. You know, because why not sprinkle a little more angst into this fandom :)
Tags/warnings: Cussing
Words: 1094
Additional note: I kinda feel like Trevor's unfinished business has to do with his commitment, accepting that money doesn't define his worth and having someone actually love him in return. So, I kind of want to make this into an H-Money series and weave in cannon moments plus steer these two in the right direction towards each other.
AO3: link (or below the cut!)
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“Why so mopey, bro?” exclaims Chet, half-drank beer in his hand.
Trevor’s frown deepens as he plunks himself down on Ari’s expensive sofa.
“Yeah, dude. Who shit in your cornflakes?” chimes David Woodstone, swigging back his own chilled can of alcohol. “Thought you were having Nicky over tonight.”
Ari pipes up next as he saunters towards his friends. “Trouble in paradise, my man?”
Trevor releases a sigh. His voice quiets. “I think it may be over, guys.”
A collective gasp resonates through the lavish apartment.
~
“You taste scrumptious, sweetheart,” Trevor coos between kisses to his girlfriend’s neck. He feels her hum with affection against him.
“Babe,” Nicky begins, her voice tender and sweet. “What are we? I mean, we’ve been on and off for the better part of a year. I love being with you, but this whole arrangement where one of us comes over, we spend time together, and then one of us leaves again just doesn’t feel right anymore. I want us to be more than that. Being with you feels right, Trev.”
Trevor’s stomach drops. His whole body freezes. Is she saying what he thinks she’s saying? He props himself up on an elbow to meet her gaze. “What do you mean, Nicky?”
She must sense his unease because Nicky’s expression drops as she answers. “I mean, I want to have a proper relationship with you. I want to take this,” her fingertips graze his bare chest before pulling back to her own, “to the next level.”
“Like move in together?” Panic begins to set in. Trevor’s voice raises an octave.
“Well, maybe,” she keeps her voice soft, “but maybe more than just that? Maybe we can make our commitment to one another clear.”
Trevor’s brain stalls. Commitment. One simple word yet so many implications. So much weight behind its meaning. He adores Nicky, but does he love her? Does Trevor even know what love feels like? Does she love him? Is that what this is about?
His silence must have gone on for just a little too long. Nicky’s shoulders droop, and a defeated frown creeps its way onto her features. “Never mind,” she sighs, moving to get up.
“Nick, wait!” exclaims Trevor. And the look of hope that lights up her face as she turns around shatters Trevor’s heart. He tries to play it cool like he always does. “You know me, babe! I...I don’t deal well with all this intimate stuff.” Somehow, those are the only words he can think of.
A tear. It appears there in the corner of her eye, but she refuses to let it slip out. Nicky puts a hand up. “Save it, Lefkowitz. I should have known better than to push you towards this. I should know that you’re not that kind of guy.”
It’s like a hot iron rod is being driven through his chest, yet Trevor does nothing as he watches her dress, gather her belongings from the drawer he lets her use, and leaves.
~
Trevor’s head hangs between his shoulders as he leans forward on the sofa. “I royally fucked up.”
“Dude,” David preaches from beside Trevor, “chicks think that they can just tell their men what to do. Take away our autonomy.”
“But I really–” Trevor shifts, reaching into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. “I picked this up on the way here.” It’s then that Trevor reveals the small velvet box.
“Holy shit, bro!” gasps Chet.
“No fucking way!” shouts David.
Ari’s eyes widen into saucers.
Trevor holds the open box in his palm; its contents glitter in the afternoon light.
Sure, he gets invited to all the parties. Sure, he likes to splurge on a nice suit every once in a while. But the truth is, Trevor is not rich like Ari or David. Instead, he works hard and pays his rent, but while desperately tries to fit in with his friends’ lavish lifestyles, Trevor just isn’t really there yet.
So, the rock in his hand isn’t huge or overly expensive, but maybe, just maybe, it would be enough.
“Are you insane?!?!” Ari exclaims as if this must surely be some kind of prank.
“Bro, you are so whipped!” David gargles out a laugh, which sparks Ari to join in. Chet just stares, dumbfounded.
Trevor’s eyes dart between his friends, forcing a smile and a laugh amidst his confusion.
“You’re not serious, are you?” chides Ari, his words making a pit form in Trevor’s stomach.
When Trevor doesn’t answer, Ari just scoffs. “Trev, engagement spells the end of all fun.”
“No bro-nights. No drinking. No exclusive parties,” adds David.
Ari seizes the opportunity to continue. “You’ll just be dragged into the world of domesticity. Dinners with her friends and her family. Wedding planning. Then come the kids. Diapers. Being forced to stay home all the time. Not to mention that she won’t want you working in the city away from her. She’ll force you to take a safe job in the burbs and isolate you even more from us. I mean, we’re chick magnets, so she’d obviously be jealous all the time.”
The pit in Trevor’s stomach grows; it’s heavy and pushes acid into his throat. The question he had earlier resurfaces in his brain. Does he love Nicky? Is she the one? But would she try to change him or stop him from doing the things he enjoys? He is still young, with so much life to live and so many things to tick off his bucket list. But then, why had he just gone out and bought a ring?
“Trev, buddy,” Ari says, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder and shaking Trevor from his thoughts.
Trevor gazes upwards, finding David as the one about to speak. “She’s probably got the plans for your future already mapped out.”
“Dave’s right,” Ari interjects. “You’re blinded by shiny stones and what-ifs. You’ve only been hooking up for the last year. Are you really ready to give all this”, he gestures around the room, “up for one person who probably wants to dictate the rest of your life? You need to look out for you, pal.”
His brow furrows as Trevor glances around absently.
Trevor always felt like he was going to be something. A few more promotions, and he would be raking in the dough. Then it would be him in a penthouse like Ari’s. Him hosting parties on a yacht. Him being able to afford Nicky the life she deserves. But right now, he couldn’t stop himself from living and enjoying the life that would get him there.
Not yet at least.
Feedback is loved ♥
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ireallylovepuppies101 · 2 years ago
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Inky Mystery Audrey AU
I've been chatting about this au idea with my dear friend @paint-n-thinner ever since Dark Revival came out and now I'm going to make all of you Inky Mystery fans listen to me talk about it too! That goes for you too @theinkymystery !
 I'm sure everyone who follows my blog knows by now I'm a sucker for family fluff stuff for movies/shows/stories/etc. If not, then you definitely know now!
So you can imagine I like how in dark revival, Audrey and Bendy are sorta technically siblings. Bendy being older since he was made first. I love hunting for fics where Bendy and Audrey act like a family together. Giving each other the comfort they both need.
Considering I've been reading Bendy and Boris and the Inky Mystery, I couldn't help myself and wondered "What if Audrey was in this?"
I've been talking about this for months with paint-n-thinner, talking about a lot of deep detailed stuff, but I'm going to try my best to keep this short and simple for now. If you guys want to hear more I'll add more information. 
Now then! Let's get started! 
About two years before the events of Inky Mystery starts, Bendy and Boris run into a little girl, or more accurately, she runs into them while trying to flee with food she stole, but since she wasn't watching where she was going and bumped into the brothers, the person she stole from caught up. Bendy quickly calming the situation down before it escalates badly, and offers to pay for the food the kid took so she can keep it and the guy leaves her alone. Thankfully it works, once the person leaves, Bendy and Boris get a better look at the kid.
Her clothes would be raggy and barely doing anything to protect her from the elements, she'd also be covered in a thin layer of white fur with large black spots, her right arm having a big black spot that wraps around the palm of her hand and part of her arm, while her left arm is completely engulfed in black fur all the way up to her neck. The white part of her eyes would be yellow, almost looking like they glow when they catch the light, while her iris/pupils would be black.
She would also have a skinny tail, and two horns coming out of her black curly hair.
After they find a place to sit down and talk while the girl eats, Bendy and Boris learn that her name is Audrey, she's MAYBE 4 or 5 years old (she's not sure) and she's been on her own for as long as she can remember. Bendy’s the first demon she's ever met, or at least remembers meeting since she doesn't know who her parents are.
Considering she's in a situation similar to how they grew up in their early years, Bendy and Boris offer her a place to stay since they know the cops in sillyvision would barely be any help whatsoever, and the orphanage they've been in and out of isn't exactly ideal either. Audrey takes them up on their offer, and over time gets very attached to the two until she starts calling them her brothers as well.
That basically covers how they all met and became a little found family. Now for some quick fun facts my friend and I came up with before I wrap this up.
-Audrey has a talent she calls “Flow”, as long as she sees where she’s going and doesn’t have a window/door/etc blocking her way, she can SORTA teleport short distances (depends on a person’s definition of teleporting though). She also has other abilities she can do with her talent that she hasn’t figured out how to do yet. (A nod to the powers Audrey gets in the Dark Revival game)
-Her favorite piece of clothing is an old baggy blue sweater that used to belong to Bendy. He gave it to her to keep her warm when they first met and told her she could keep it. It's basically like a security blanket for her and she's either always wearing it or has it wrapped around her waist when it's too hot out.
-her go to outfit by the time the Inky Mystery story starts is her sweater, an old tan shirt, baggy brown overalls, brown gloves, and large brown boots, almost all of her clothes formerly belonging to either Bendy or Boris that Sasha adjusted so they could fit her better.
-Give this girl something she can draw with and she'll go NUTS. She gets her hands on a rock and she'll use it as sidewalk chalk to draw all over the sidewalk outside the apartment where she and her brothers live.
-Bendy and Boris always make sure they have enough cash to get her a notebook and pencil to draw with now and then, occasionally a box of crayons too which Audrey uses for VERY special drawings.
-despite how bills get a BIT tighter with raising a little girl, Bendy and Boris do their best to make sure Audrey has a better childhood than they did. Safe warm place to sleep, clean clothes, teach her whatever she needs to know, and make sure she doesn't go hungry.
-Audrey loves both of her brothers equally. 
-She loves sitting in Boris’s lap and watching Mickey’s circus show with him.
-She also loves when Bendy uses his Felix the Cat books to teach her how to read. Both of them get excited over the adventures Felix goes on.
-Her favorite animals are ducks. Her favorite toy is a rubber duck her brothers got for her, and she likes watching the ducks whenever her brothers would take her to the park.
-Her favorite food is hotdogs, happily eating one with mustard as she watches Bendy and Boris bicker over claiming the last piece of bacon. She thinks her brothers’ bacon addiction is weird.
-That being said, she LOVES chocolate donuts. She’d eat a baker's dozen if someone would let her. Which Bendy and Boris don’t. They love their little sister dearly but they really don’t need a hyper child bouncing off the walls before the stomach ache kicks in.
- Don’t let her cuteness fool you, she can be a freaking gremlin. Especially towards people she doesn't like, or when she's in the mood to annoy her brothers when she steals Boris's bandana or Bendy’s goggles to make them chase her around the apartment as she giggles.
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shingeki-no-alena · 2 years ago
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Lost Promises (Chapter 3)
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Marco Bodt x Fem!reader
Genre: Angst, fluff, Cannon AU
Warnings: Blood, injuries, future gore, future spoilers, future character deaths, cheesy moments, reader is Levi’s sister so she’s got some baggage (I’ll add more as they appear!).
Summary: After years of constant pressing, Levi has finally agreed to let his little sister, y/n, join the scouts. On the condition that she goes through the extra training of the cadet corps first, in hopes that it would help make her change her mind.
Chapter 2 || Masterlist || Chapter 4
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About a year has passed since Y/n began her training with the cadets. Over that amount of time, she has made friends with most of the girls in her barracks. When she is not hanging out with Marco, she is usually with some of the girls. She has also grown very fond of Sasha and Connie, them usually being able to convince her to have more fun.
As for her and Marco… well, she is completely smitten. After a year of denying and denying, she can now admit to herself that she’s developing feelings for the sweet, freckled boy. Feelings that are not just platonic. She would never tell, though. Just because she has accepted her own feelings doesn’t mean she is anywhere willing to act on them. She needs to focus her mind on her goals so she can get back to her family in the scouts.
Currently, Y/n sat under a tree that stood at the top of a hill. It was a ways walk away from the training grounds. Y/n had discovered this spot on one of her long nature walks she used to calm herself from a stressful day. The only other person that knew about this spot was Marco. She would invite him sometimes since she enjoys his company, and overall calm nature.
Since she has been with the cadets, Y/n has been sending letters back to Levi, Hange, and Erwin, giving them updates and reminders that she is doing fine. That is exactly what she was doing right now. Her pen scribbles against the parchment as the early afternoon breeze flies through her freshly washed hair.
To My Family,
I’ve been doing well lately. I am missing you all deeply still, but I have made friends to keep me company while I work to come back home. My closest friend right now is Marco. I mentioned him before, right? Before you start to freak out, Levi, he’s just a friend and a comrade. I know what I’m here for and I have been working really hard. Besides, he plans to go into a different branch, unsurprisingly. No, Erwin, I do not think I could convince him otherwise. There is, however, another friend I made who has centered his whole goal around joining the scouts. Him and his two childhood friends. He’s so passionate about it, in fact, that it’s almost worrisome. Oh! I have been taking a lot of nature walks. I even found this really peaceful spot no one knows about. It’s a tree on top of a hill. I’m sitting there as I write this. Also, tell Hange that I will be writing her soon in regards to her latest hypothesis.
Alright, well I have to get back soon, so one more thing. Send my love to the rest of Levi squad. Tell them I miss them, and I even miss Ouro’s smartass remarks.
That’s all for now.
Love, Y/n
Y/n smiled as she finished up her letter, imagining them reading it and smiling too. She proceeded to fold up the parchment, tucking it into an envelope, before gathering her belongings and heading back to the training grounds.
It was the cadets’ day off, so the training grounds were practically empty. Before Y/n could open the door to the sleeping quarters she shared with the other girls, the door had already swung open, revealing Hannah. She was one of the girls that Y/n had become friends with. Hannah brightened up seeing Y/n at the door.
“Y/n!” She chimed, grabbing Y/n by the hand, and pulling her inside the barracks. “I was just about to go look for you! Some of the other girls and I were about to use my new tea set.”
She led Y/n to where the group of girls sat around Hannah’s bunk. It was Mina, Mikasa, and Annie. Annie was one of the girls Y/n hadn’t talked to that much. Annie was quiet and very reserved. Y/n was honestly surprised she was joining them. She just assumed Annie was a big tea fan. Y/n took the open spot, next to said girl.
“Great! Now that we are all here, let’s talk about the boys,” Hannah said, mischievously, wiggling her eyebrows at everyone. Oh, good. A trap. At this, Mina grew excited and clapped her hands together, bouncing up and down in her spot. Mikasa reached out to pour a cup of tea for Y/n. Handing it to Y/n, Y/n took it graciously, thanking her.
“That sounds like fun! But you know Hannah, we have to start with Franz,” Mina started, smirking. Hannah blushed, immediately going quiet. “You two are so cute together!”
Hannah hid her face behind her hand, the other waving frantically at Mina. “Stop! I’m so embarrassed!” She squealed, playfully pushing Mina.
Y/n started to feel a bit out of place. Living with a bunch of traumatized soldiers, you don’t have such giggly moments with friends. She would joke around with the rest of her brother’s squad, but it was never like this.
Looking at either side of her, she noticed Mikasa and Annie, both with expressions of disinterest. Y/n felt a sense of relief, realizing she may not be the only one that feels this way. Before she could deviate a plan to escape, Y/n was brought into the conversation.
“Why talk about me and Franz when we could talk about the new couple in town? I hear Y/n and Marco always sneak off somewhere together!” Hannah teased. Y/n froze. Where did she hear that from? Mina gasped as everyone’s eyes landed on Y/n. Y/n heated up, taking a gulp of her tea. She hoped the tea would sooth her sudden dry mouth that developed from her nerves.
“Tell us, Y/n! What’s up with you and Marco? And where have you two been sneaking away to?” Mina interrogated, leaning forward in interest.
“We are just friends… W-We hang out a lot because he’s nice company and we just go for walks and stuff.” Y/n answered, quickly. She hoped they would just leave it at that and move on. Clearly, her “acting” was not good enough for the two insatiable girls because they surely did not leave the conversation at that.
“You are such a liar! Friends do not treat each other the way you two do. Trust me, Y/n, and I promise I am not making fun. I acted the same way with Franz before I realized that life is too short to just keep denying feelings that will not go away. And I tried. I was scared that he didn’t feel the way I did, but now I’m so happy that I took that chance.” Hannah said, reaching out to rest a hand on Y/n’s knee. Y/n pondered on what Hannah said for a moment before quickly shaking her head.
“Even if I did have feelings for Marco… We are going into two different regiments.” Y/n retorted. This was Y/n’s big defense for something that truly has a deeper explanation.
“Listen to me, Y/n. You have two years to love someone and be happy. When the time comes that you have to leave each other, that doesn’t have to mean it’s over. Even if it’s not every day, you could still see each other. And if you didn’t, at least you could say you had fun. I think it would be worth it, don’t you? If you spend your whole life focused on your future, then you’ll miss such beautiful opportunities like this one.” At Hannah’s words, Y/n felt herself grow a little conflicted. Most girls dream of falling in love and, up till now, Y/n did not care about any of that. She had goals of her own. But now, she doesn’t know what to feel because in a way, Hannah was right.
“But, what if I fall in love? A-And he doesn’t feel the same? Or, he leaves and I get hurt?” Y/n asked, feeling herself starting to get choked up, “I’ve never felt this way before. It’s scary because I know what it’s like to lose the people I love…”
The girls grew quiet. And, for a moment, Y/n regretted even saying anything. Until Mikasa piped in.
“Y/n… I understand how you feel… I have lost people I love too, and it is hard to meet new people for the fear that I will grow attached and lose them. Because of this, I feel so desperate to protect the family I do have left. The world is cruel like that. But, you know what? It’s also beautiful. I truly believe that if you don’t give this a chance, you will regret it way more than you will if it doesn’t work out.” She spoke. The girls all looked at her in shock. This was the most Mikasa had really talked, let alone pour her heart out. Y/n assumed she had been referring to Eren when she spoke about her protectiveness. She was always right by his side.
Y/n took some time to think about everything the girls have said. She still was not too sure. She decided that she would wait until she received on more sign.
“What do you think, Annie? Should Y/n go for it?” Mina asked, bringing Annie out of her silent thoughts.
“If she thinks it would make her happy, then she should.” Annie mumbled, giving Y/n her final sign. Y/n sighed and looked up at all of their hopeful faces.
“Okay… I will tell him how I feel.”
~~~
The boys sat around in their barracks, talking casually as the sun went down on their final day off for the week. Marco, Jean, Connie, Reiner, Bertolt, Eren, and Armin, all sat together in a corner of the sleeping quarters. They were having their own conversation about cadet life so far and things they would like to do before they graduate.
“I mean it would be nice if I could get to her, but it’s practically impossible with Ymir around. I can’t even get a word in.” Reiner groaned, complaining about his failed attempts at trying to talk to Christa. The sweet, blonde girl everyone refers to as a “goddess” for the fact that she spreads infectious kindness to everyone she meets. Ymir was a much taller girl, with tomboy tendencies, that is always attached to Christa at the hip.
“Yeah, you’re gonna need good luck for that one, big guy,” Jean laughed, throwing his arm over his knee. “At least you’re trying. Right, Marco? But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would ya?”
Everyone glanced at Marco with knowing looks. He was easily found out about his feelings for Y/n by the other boys, simply for the fact that he would not shut up about her. If he wasn’t talking about her, he was lost in his own thoughts that consisted of her. During the last year, Marco was quick to figure out how he feels about Y/n. It was obvious with how he always wanted to see her and hang out with her. How he looked at her way differently than the rest. He just knew that it wasn’t an option for him as she only ever showed care for her future. He also hadn’t told the guys about this fear yet, fearing they would tease him, or maybe even tell her for him.
“It’s complicated, Jean. She’s going back to the scouts in two years, and I will be going to the interior.” Marco diverted, pouting at Jean for always bringing this up.
“Exactly! That is two whole years you could spend with her. You could even see her while you’re in the MPs. Mikasa said she’s going to the scouts and that hasn’t stopped me.” Jean remarked, avoiding Eren’s dirty look.
“Marco’s old enough to know what’s good for him, Jean. He’s not doing anything wrong.” Eren hissed.
“All I’m saying is that Marco obviously has feelings for her, but he’s gonna miss his chance if he keeps making excuses for his fear.” Jean defended, furrowing his brows to match Eren’s glare.
“Let’s not fight, guys! It’s really not a big deal! I just don’t want to give Y/n any stress, that’s all!” Marco pleaded, trying to disperse the growing tension.
“’I just don’t wanna give Y/n any stress, that’s all!’” Connie mocked, rolling his eyes, “Marco, you obviously like her a lot. Go for it, man. There’s no way she’ll say no. Hey, even if she did, she’d do it in the nicest way possible so it won’t hurt as bad.”
Marco deadpanned. “Gee thanks, Connie! That makes me feel so much better!” He said, sarcastically. Connie shrugged, leaning back on one of the bed posts.
“Ignoring the terrible execution of Connie, Jean, and Eren’s support, I think you should tell Y/n how you feel,” Armin cut in. “If you don’t, then you might continue to hide it for so long that it could affect your guys’ relationship negatively without you even having given yourself a chance. Wouldn’t you rather take a chance then feel sad, knowing you never tried?”
Marco looked down, knowing Armin was right. “What do you guys think?” Marco asked, motioning towards Reiner and Bertolt.
“I agree with Armin, personally. But I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, either.” Bertolt admitted, shrugging. Reiner nodded, “I think you should, if you care about her so much. And you obviously do.”
“Alright then, I’ll give it a try.”
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A/N: We’re on a roll now… Here’s Chapter 3!
All rights reserved. Please do not repost or steal my writing. Re-blogs are welcome!
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muffindaddystyles · 4 years ago
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Can you write overprotective long hair harry imagine?? Like he always hovers the reader when she is doing something or even nothing. Or when she needs to run errands he always go with even though its not required. And when reader fell sick he is full on mommy daddy mode dom!h vibes
A/N: OOPS I GOT EXCITED AND WENT OVERBOARD WITH IT :D
Harry’s awfully sweet. He’s a literal sweetheart with those marble sepia eyes, hazelnut curls and that big golden kind heart of his's.
But, to people he’s intimidating. From the black loiter of tattoos, a silver of piercing to the corner of his plush bottom lip and those long curls of his's that frays his broad strong shoulders turns everyone too giddy to talk to him and he's okay with that – bunch of loosers anyways whom he doesn’t want to waste his time on chit-chatting.
Then Y/N came into his life and his world flipped upside down, in a beautiful way (where he felt like floating into the crashing waves of crystal sea). It felt like she made him see the world through pink heart-shaped glasses and everyone’s just bursting into rainbows, puffaw! Boom! Their heads blasting with colourful confetti and ribbons.
Even though his slight grouchiness towards people lessened he still doesn’t gives two fucks before punching the shit out of someone if they in any way hurts, be rude and try to take physical and emotional advantage of, Y/N.
His bunny.
He’s too protective of her. And why wouldn’t he? She’s his everything. His little miracle and his hype-person, his lovie.
He’s the softest peach for her. The guy who walks and everyone scrambles away to give him a way, is whipped for his girlfriend.
He’s always having his strong arm looped around her waist when they’re out and walking, going to hold her hands instead if she’s too wiggly, keeping her close to his chest while he holds their coffees and sweets.
Whenever they’re doing grocery he’s always wheeling the cart around how much Y/N insists and pouts, he likes it that way. Hearing her blabber and skim her eyes down the ingredients labelled on the products then tossing it anyway with a shrug – makes him want to smooch her wet in kisses.
If they’re partying out with friends. Which they rarely do, (Y/N sometimes makes fun of them saying they’re getting too domestic day by day) he’s always having her put in his lap, his screwed up expression lazing when the alcohol starts to kick in and he’s just a blubbering mess of nonsense, and a very horn dog with his cock bloating up in his tight skinny jeans.
Not that he doesn’t let her have a breather and enjoy herself. He indeed does, they’ve a healthy relationship where they keep trust and faith in eachother.
But, sometimes he gets super jealous when people steal his little girlfriend away from him and once home he’s cuddling and oodling her, kissing her face all over with loud smacks and not letting her be away from him another second even it’s too bring him water or to get rid of his smelly socks.
Other times. When he’s particularly very jealous. The serious ones where Y/N unintentionally spends a tad more time at some of her classmates to wind up their upcoming project, he’s driving himself to pick her up and knocking at the door harshly and then dragging her out of there not letting her carry her stuff and huffing and puffing while throwing her things in the backseat.
Because Jeremy’s a sore rascal who’s shit at hiding his crush for Y/N and he should know better to whom she belongs. His innocent baby is too naive towards the possible hints and evil intentions of people.
“Oi. What got into you today?” She brushes the loose curl that escaped from his bun and let her fingers slide down his tight set angry jaw staring him a bit concerned upon seeing him this furious and ruffled up from nowhere.
“You’re mine,” Is all he'd respond. Smashing his lips against hers in a an ardent kiss and glide his palm down her ass to squeeze it and bring her closer grinning when she squeals into his mouth giving him a chance to slip his tongue in and kiss her deeper and sloppier.
“You’re a silly geese.” She giggles whisper into the mess of pecks and lock her elbows around his neck to give him an eskimo kiss.
“Watch y’mouth.” He glares her intensely loving the way Y/N gulps timidly bobbing her head.
“You’ll get a spanking today,” He always likes to warn her before hand. He wants her comfortable with him in every case and it’s downgrade monstrous to treat the person you love like a mean bitch out of blue -- so whenever she deserves a punishment he already announces her of it, warming her to the idea and giving her time to back away if she doesn’t want it.
“What did I’do now!” She whines and he nibbles onto his knuckle glancing her way in disbelief other hand on steering wheel, “What did y'do?” He asks her sternly. Spreading his palm over her thigh and squeezing it grimly.
“Did y'even care to look at the time, Y/N?” Oh boy. She’s in real trouble. Her name on his tongue never fails to turn her insides gooey and pause her heartbeat horribly. A red light for her to being bratty before she falls into the deep black dig of trouble.
Reaching home. He’s throwing her on the bed and demanding her to lay still on her tummy while he puts a pillow under her and spanks her bum sore with his rings imprinting her skin pink, though he never forgets to take care of her afterwards – putting a cool cream to soothe the burn and letting her sleep on his chest so she wouldn’t come in contact with the sheets as he kneads her asscheeks with gentle hands.
.
He could never have his hands to himself when she’s cooking and baking for them. Always, poking and prodding around having her head tucked under his chin, her embraced in his arms from back swaying them along to Hozier while she reads the recipe she wrote on one of the tiles.
“Stop!” She giggles, squirming in his arms when he blows raspberries against the dip of her neck and then creates growly noises biting and lapping into her skin, “You’re gonna burn our lunch!” She pressed her hips against his crotch to push him away and that warmed him more, delving his fingers more into her hips with a throaty groan.
“We could have a takeout.” His breath shuddery against her ear as he tries to pry the spatula away from her and kiss her grumpy whines down when the pots actually got burned, “I’ll wash and scratch them.” He’d assure picking her up and wrapping her legs around his hips and slipping his fingers in her hair to tug them and bring her mouth down against his’s to taste her.
“Wants to fuck you so bad, baby. My cock’s been weepy fo’ hours without your touch.” He groans, taking her hand and sneaking it inside his joggers to make her feel how stiff and erect he’s for her.
“I just gave you a blowie in the morning!”
“Blowie isn’t equivalent to fucking!”
.
“What y'readin,?” He scoots closer to her end of sofa with a smirk and towers over her trying to take a peek of whatever she’s reading with such intensity and then rake his warm palms up her calves to lay them over his thighs while he snuggles her wrapping a chonky blanket around them.
“Shhh baby girl, just want you to be more comfy.” He mumbles into her hair scratching his short nails against her scalp in soothing motions and watch her melt against his touch, eyes fluttering as she lurks dangerously to the verge of sleep.
“You always do that. Whenever the hot part’s about to come, you make me all sleepy.” She mutters laying her head against his clavicles gazing him up with hazy eyes, sighing in feign disappointment when he grins down at her in quite victory and gives her a sloppy kiss.
“What do y'need erotica fo’ baby? When your man’s the living walking momentum of sex.” He pouts, grazing his teeth down her neck and leaving a fresh hickey at her throat.
“That’s infact not, true. You’re such a cutie!” She beams up at him never failing to give him dancing butterflies in his stomach and he doesn’t admits it but he likes getting treated soft and gentle by his girlfriend.
“Such a shame. My own little love doesn’t find me sexy.” He grumps dramatically making her scramble hesitantly and turn to him in their tight embrace, cradling his face in her cold palms, “No. No. I find you sexy. I just don’t like sexualising you.” If Harry didn’t turn into a puddle before he indeed did now as he melted into her touch and kissed the inside of her hands lovingly.
“You’re sucha sap!” He whispers at her in fake offence and plant his lips against hers, patting her bum to make her hug him more tightly.
.
On cleaning and laundry day’s. He’s always helping her. As they scrub and mop the floors together, might fuck on them bubbly floors too if Harry’s lusty gaze remains on her spilling tits for too long.
“Thinks your floral bra needs a wash too, moppet.” His gradual attempts to lure her with his fingers stroking her thighs seductively always turns into a win when she nods shyly into his neck and let him have an easy access to her panties.
They’re always having a warm, full of essence bath together cleaning and washing the dirt off eachother after that.
Then sharing a cuppa tea while folding their clothes together on the bed and he’s always trying to tackle her into mattress when she laughs at his terribly folded clothes compared to her neatly binded ones.
“Your sucha menace,” He jests with his nose skewered up while he smacks her ass.
“Talk for yourself, Styles.” She retorts, tangling her knee around his waist and pulling him down into him. Puffing out relaxed breaths upon feeling safe and protected under his weight and Harry always smiles into the crook of her neck when she tries to cuddle him as if she wants to be his skin.
..
He’s the most daddiest when she’s drunk, sick or stressed.
Never letting her go out of his sight when she’s dancing on the floor with her friends. If some man even tries to approach her and breaths in her direction he’s sprinting towards her and pawing at her hips to situate her closer to him whilst blowing those potential guys off with a monotone expression.
“Harry! Do a lil dancey dance with me!” She giggles, making him sway with her and looking up at him with glassy floaty eyes.
“Bunny. ‘s late, time to go home.” He tells her, pinching her chin to plant his lips against hers and she squirms giving him a timid smile, “Okie. But I’ve to pee.”
“Me too!” Her friends chimes from behind her and Harry rolls his eyes playfully, gesturing all of them to follow him.
“C’mon you spies, not lettin’ ya’ll go alone.”
He waits for them outside the washroom while they do their business and he has his arms always splayed open for when his lovie comes back and he’s welcoming her in his embrace warmly with a sweet smile.
Dying with fond injecting in his every vein when she slurs and blabbers, “Home.”
Walking her up the stairs of their flat’s building is the most hefty struggle while she’s a sleepy, clumsy and giggly muck of doe gleaming eyes and swollen pretty lips drooling over Harry testing his patience while he makes her take one step at a time.
“Darling, bunny, just some mo' steps lovin’.” He coos at her, putting a firm hand under her bum and heaving her up into him so she doesn’t falls.
“Mhmmm you’re so pretty, daddy.” Harry’s head snaps in surprise as he stares down at her in adoring amusement and push her head under his chin while she slings her arms around his waist lazily.
Sometimes, she gets him so flustered he doesn’t know how to respond.
She whines and cries in dishevelment when Harry makes her sit on the cold marble counter and wipes her makeup off.
“I just wan’ to sleep!” She toes at his torso trying to push him away but he grabs it and tuts, glowering at her strictly, “You’re g'na complain in the mornin’. Sleepin’ with makeup makes ye' breakout remember?” When she still huffs and slumps giving him a hard time to clean her he’s pinching her chin and giving her a gentle jerk.
“Bunny. Stop with ye' battiness.” He grunts not letting his facade slip when she mewls stroking her cheek up and down his lightly stubble covered cheek softly.
“Else what? Y'never punish a sleepy bunny.” She smirks at him foppishly and lazily knowing damn well that one of thing Harry doesn’t do’s tease or punish her when she’s tuckered out and on the edge of sleeping on him.
“You don’t test me bratty woman.” She squeals when he takes hold of her panties to pull them down her legs, slapping her mound once discarding it in the hamper and he sighs when she’s already snoring lightly, slobbering his throat with her mouth parted comically.
After pattering her face with loving kisses he’s tucking her under the layers of blankets and letting her use him as her stuffie.
..
“Aw poor baby.” He mumbles, kissing her forehead when he finds her burning up against him and he’s quickly rummaging for thermometer from the night stand and the tissues he had stashed for emergencies.
“I don’t feel good,” His heart breaks when Y/N croaks out weakly and tries to crawl up his chest to stuff her face in his musky neck but her frail limbs gives out making her cry out.
“It’s okay bunny, ‘s okay. How but I make you some soup. Then y'take your medicines like a good girl of mine, then if your condition gets worse we’ll go to doctor, yeah baby?” He talks to her gently and sweetly, stroking her hair and peppering kisses to her temples.
“Just last bite, moppet.” Harry hovers the spoon infront of her and sighs when she shakes her head pushing his wrist away, “I’ll puke.” She sniffs blowing her nose harshly in the tissue .
“The bin’s right here, bunny.” He smoothens his hand down her spine putting the tray aside carefully to snuggle and comfort her as she cries softly against his chest.
“’M so sorry baby, you’ll be alright in the morning.” He couldn’t see her in such condition. It pulls and tugs at his heart so painfully he feels himself hurting.
“Oi. Why you crying, hmm?” He cups her cheek and makes her look at him as she skims her eyes away from him jn embarrassment.
“I —- You’re so caring and loving, treats me so good and it makes me c.. cr–-,” She hiccups finding it hard to breath and Harry rubs her back, whispering affinities in her ear making her finally sob, “Cry....” He chuckles softly pelting kisses upon kisses on her puffy eyelids, soaky dried up cheeks, her frowned up forehead, her wobbly chin and her nipping love bites down her chest then blowing raspberries at his own slick covering her skin making her giggle through her hiccups.
“I love you.” She whispers droopily, head lulling to his chest when the effect of medicine finally starts to kick in.
“I love you too, I want my healthy and happy bunny back.” He mumbles, inhaling a huge puff of her scent and squishes her lovingly.
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liuvli · 2 years ago
Text
Critical Darling
pairing: eddie munson x fem!goth!reader
summary: It's your senior year. You're a "goth freak" and you definitely stand out, but it doesn't bother you. You're proud of who you are, and nobody is going to change that. Not even the person that motivated you to be so proud in the first place. Eddie "The Freak" Munson.  
warnings: she/her pronouns, slow burn, cursing, alcohol, smoking, eventual smut, minor use of y/n, slightly bitchy reader, work in progress
tags: first meetings, pov second person, s4 doesn’t happen, goth!reader, tradgoth!reader, fluff, angst, eddie & chrissy friendship, reader is a little fruity
all fic chapters & ao3 link
chapter wc: 8.8k
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Chapter Four: Lonesome Love
Sitting with your legs comfortably crossed over and under one another, your eyes remained focused on the item of clothing sitting opposite you at the end of the bed, the same thing you had been doing for the past 5 minutes or so. The black, leather jacket was folded neatly, its arms tucked under itself and shiny, somehow pristine zipper on full display to you as the low, warm light of your lamp ever so slightly reflected off of it. 
You sat unusually stiff, hands tucked into your lap as your nails picked at the skin on your fingertips, a substitute for the fact that you were no longer wearing your rings.
Why do I have this? Why did he give it to me? What the fuck?
Still slightly sore from scrubbing the makeup off your face not long ago, your eyes were wide with something, eyeing up every detail of the bulky jacket. With a sudden swift movement, you stood up and off the bed, looking down at the jacket with your hands resting on your hips like a disapproving mother. As if needing to solidify yourself in the role even more, you pointed a finger down at the garment.
“I don’t want this,” you chewed the inside of your mouth as you thought for a second, “I don’t want this in my home.” With one fell swoop, you scooped the jacket up from where it had been sitting for the past 30 minutes since you arrived home, waiting for your attention as you got ready for bed. 
As you let the jacket slightly unfold in your arms, you managed to catch a small whiff of the scent basically radiating out of the thick leather. 
“Weed and… cheap drugstore cologne. Of course. Why does Eddie Munson even know to use cologne? I'm surprised he even knows of basic…” you paused, thinking about what you were saying, “…hygiene.” Running a thumb over the thick material, you glanced around your room, trying to settle on a place to tuck the jacket away. It was late, and you wanted to sleep after the long day you were put through, so temporarily hiding the garment out of sight until you could gladly return it to its owner seemed like the easiest solution at your current moment. 
“Out of sight, out of mind,” you muttered to yourself as you hooked it onto one of the pegs on the back of your door. You made sure to go the extra mile to tuck it under a few other jackets and shawls of your own, ensuring that it was most definitely, ‘out of sight, out of mind’. Seeing as you didn’t really have a reason to have your bedroom door shut most of the time (apart from when April would be loudly talking to school friends on the house phone downstairs), keeping the obnoxiously large leather jacket hidden on your door was your best option at your current moment. 
Temporarily being rid of the sight of Eddie’s personal belonging, you finally felt like you were allowed to settle down and get some sleep after a long day of listening to DnD nerds do what DnD nerds do; talk about stuff you had absolutely zero knowledge on. 
Tucking yourself under the copious amount of blankets on your bed and grabbing a pillow to wrap your arms around, you switched the lamp on your bedside table off. You allowed yourself to finally get some shut-eye, listening to the trees outside creak and sway along with the October wind. 
After that Saturday, you spent the Sunday home alone (as always) with April watching her usual selection of cheesy, overplayed teen movies. You cleaned around parts of the house and cooked for you and your sister, not changing out of your pajamas once. It was a slow day and yet, before you could even have a second to breathe, Monday came just as quickly as the weekend left. 
The first day of the week was long, slow, and all in all, uneventful - as expected from a Monday. Tuesday, however, seemed to be taking the same course as its predecessor. That was until Kace caught you trying to leave your last class of the day. Pulling you to the side almost the second you stepped through the classroom door, you were immediately bombarded with a scramble of words. He was asking (or more appropriately, telling) you to accompany him in buying decorations for the party the two of you had begun planning the previous week. Seeing as you had arranged for it to take place on Halloween night, the boy had thought up the amazing idea to deck the house out in appropriately themed decor, a decision you’d soon come to regret agreeing to. Of course, the overly enthusiastic boy promised to assist in putting all the decor up, which was the only reason you even agreed to do it, but a part of you still knew it’d be a pain in the ass to clean up the day after, especially after hosting dozens of drunk teens all throughout the night. 
Alas, it wasn’t long before you found yourself trudging down aisles in Hawkins’ local department store, watching as Kace shoved almost every Halloween decoration that the store had stocked into the cart that you were pushing along. Black and white spider-web party banners, large, pumpkin-shaped candy bowls that he planned to fill with “alcoholic beverages of all kinds”. Truly exhausting. Again, he assured you he was paying for it all, so of course, you had to throw in a few things that caught your eyes such as bat-themed fairy lights (which you most definitely planned to steal for your own bedroom once the night was over) and an orange blanket with small, white ghost silhouettes on it, which you thought you would’ve had to beg for. Instead, Kace happily grinned down at you, smiling with scrunched-up eyes like a loving mother as he nodded, giving you silent permission for you to gently place the folded-up blanket next to a pile of tangled, slightly creased party banners at the bottom of the cart. 
With Kace’s car loaded up with bags of decorations and a few other things the two of you decided to grab along the way, you slumped down in the passenger seat as you heard the trunk slam shut behind you, Kace slipping into the driver’s seat just moments after. 
“We done for the day?” you asked, opening the glove box in front of you and rummaging around. Kace turned in his seat, placing a hand on the steering wheel. Not yet noticing his eyes on you, you continued to search through the glovebox, victoriously pulling a packet of cigarettes out. Removing one from the box, you finally turned your head to face the boy at your side, scrunching your brows in confusion as you lit the cigarette between your fingers, not understanding the look of… nothing(?) coming from Kace. 
“Yeah, absolutely not, love. I could do with a drink.” Inhaling a drag of your cigarette and trying your best to blow the smoke out the ever so slightly cracked open window, you locked eyes with Kace’s, your head tilted to the side.
“You mean at the place you started working at over the summer? Didn’t you say that place was kind of a shithole?” You tapped cigarette ash into the ashtray in the center console, Kace snorting at your comment.
“I mean, yeah, definitely. But they serve me on my days off and it’s a small crowd, so it’s not like anybody will recognize me. Money is money, darling.” You blinked slowly, not taking your eyes off the boy as you tried to think of a response.
“...Alright. But, Kace, it’s a Tuesday. You really wanna start weekday AND daytime drinking in our Senior year?” The boy gasped at your statement, taking you aback as you took a sharp inhale of your cigarette. 
“Shock horror, daytime drinking on a Tuesday is what you take from this? Not the fact that I’m proposing we commit the criminal act of underage alcohol consumption?” you roll your eyes, “you’ve changed, love. You’ve given into the ways of Lucifer. May as well call yourself the devil’s proxy at this point.” You shove Kace’s arm with the palm of your hand, cracking a grin at his stupid joke. 
Only really having to think about it for a few seconds, you nodded your head as you decided on his offer. 
“Right, let’s go. Start driving before I change my mind.” Kace almost jumped out of his seat as he enthusiastically turned to face forward again, immediately getting the car running and making his way out of the car park. 
As you walked into the bar, the same one you had passed every day to and from school but had never really paid any attention to, the smell of beer filled the room despite there only being a few customers around the fairly large room. The lights were dim, and barely any natural daylight from outside was creeping in through the slightly stained windows that were scarcely built around the building. Kace almost instantly made his way over to the bar, starting up a conversation with the bartender, someone he worked with most of the time so discounts were most likely guaranteed. After scoping out the general area, you eventually made your own way over to the bar, slipping into conversation with the two as your drinks were made. 
You ended up spending the next hour or so talking about school assignments (which you tried not to linger on too much, as the thought of anything school related made you feel nauseous), some more of the specifics when it came to plans for the party next week, and every now and again watching some unknown bands play on the stage on the opposite side of the room, Kace and yourself sometimes deciding to sing along to some of the covers the two of you knew as the alcohol seeped further into your systems. 
Eventually, after a long while of generic country rock playing quietly through the speakers at the sides of the stage and through speakers scattered around the room, another band finally appeared on stage, wasting no time to start setting their equipment and instruments up, a few drunks sat at tables closer to the stage cheering in a joint slurred manner. You lifted your head up to get a look at the band that was getting ready to play, your eyes squinting as your slightly fuzzy vision tried to make out the familiar faces across the room. 
...
Is that...?
“Kace, love. Light of my life. My handsome devil,” Kace looked up from where he was slumped across the bar, “why is Edward Munson here? You do see that, right? I’m not just imagining it.” The boy sitting to your left turned around to face the stage, laughing as he clacked his rings against the side of his glass.
“Did I not mention it at any point? Munson and his band, what is it… Corroded Coffin. They play here every Tuesday from what I’ve seen. They get quite the audience too… if five middle-aged drunks are what you call an ‘audience’.” 
Christ. Why did he have to be here? Right at this very moment. After a long day of doing basically nothing at school, shopping with Kace, and stressing over your grades, watching Eddie perform with his shitty band was the last thing you needed. You had never heard them play, let alone know previously that the band existed, but from your history with the group, or more so their own reputation, it wasn’t something you wanted to finally experience. 
“Can we head out now? I’m tired, man, and April is probably wondering where I am. I can call us a cab.” However, Kace didn’t respond. He was staring at the stage as one of the boys started strumming an electric guitar, Eddie fixing the mic to match his height in the center of the stage. From the lack of any sort of response or acknowledgment from your friend, you slumped down against the bar in defeat, accepting your fate. 
For the next hour or so, you watched in silence as Corroded Coffin played on stage. Strangely enough, you found yourself somewhat liking the performance, the boys’ confidence playing a large role in the quality of their set. As Eddie signed off to the crowd - now six drunks who seemed to of enjoyed the set too - you turned your head to look down at Kace, his head resting on the bar with a warm glass of nothing clutched in his hand. 
“He alright?” You slowly turned in your seat as the voice finally processed through your mind, locking eyes to the best of your slightly-intoxicated ability. The brunette’s bangs were sticky against his forehead as he removed the black and white bandana tied around it, scrunching it up and using it to wipe away some of the sweat from his skin. 
“Mm, yeah. Probably. He said he needed a drink but I forgot he was such a lightweight.” You placed a hand on Kace’s shoulder, gently rubbing your thumb against his leather jacket as a show of affection whilst his face was pressed firmly against the bar. Kace, however, lifted his opposite arm across his chest, placing a hand atop your own as he took a hold of it. 
“‘M not a lightweight. I’m fuckin’ tired.” Almost as if she was expecting it, one of the bartenders placed a glass of water next to the boy’s head, tapping his cheek as she did so. Kace snorted, lifting his head slightly to start taking sips from the glass.
“Yeah, so, how’d you two end up here? I know Hayes started working here over the summer, but what brings you two down this part of town on a Tuesday evening?” Swallowing the last sip of your beer, you placed the glass back down as you looked around the room with squinted eyes - anything to avoid eye contact with him. 
“Kace dragged me to the department store the second I got out of my last-period class. Barely got a chance to even-” As you were talking, Kace’s body became fully erect, holding a hand in front of your face as he swiveled in his seat to face the boy standing in front of the two of you.
“There’s a part she’s not telling you,” you groaned as you realized what he was about to say, knowing there was no chance of silencing him, “we’re hosting a party next week. A Halloween party. At her house. For the freaks.” As expected, Eddie raised his brows in surprise at the new piece of information, slightly tilting his head to face Kace more, yet letting his eyes lock with your own.
“A party, you say. For the freaks? Surely, that sounds like an invitation for me and the boys, yeah?” You inhaled, readying yourself to deny his proposal, but being cut off once again as Kace let his hand firmly rest against your mouth, his other hand supporting the back of your head as you tried to pull him away from you. 
“Yup, that’s exactly what I’m saying. We haven’t fully decided on a time yet but when we do, I’ll be sure to let you know, dear.” The damage was done. Eddie knew about the party, and he had received a formal invitation from Kace himself. There was nothing you could do to reverse the damage now. Except for maybe faking your death, meaning the party would have to be canceled- no. The damage was done. 
Now standing outside the building under the low light of the streetlamps, you shivered as you waited for the cab you had called using the bar’s telephone for Kace to arrive, clicking your nails together as your hands remained tucked under your arms. You didn’t want Kace driving himself home, let alone would he even want to (he was actually responsible), and Eddie had assured the two of you that the boy’s car would be safe being left in the bar’s parking lot overnight, a bit of reassurance that comforted a now mostly-sober Kace.
Eventually, and much to your relief, the cab finally arrived, Kace climbing into the back seat as you exchanged affections, waving him off as the vehicle exited the parking lot. You were about to head back inside the bar to ask one of Kace’s coworkers to call another cab for you as there was no way you were walking the entire way back to yours, but just as you turned to walk towards the door, Eddie walked out with a guitar in hand, passing it over to Gareth as the other boys loaded a drum set into the back of Eddie's van. You locked eyes with the brunette as he noticed you stood in front of him, looking around the area before deciding to say anything. 
“What are you doing?” You stood still, your shivering seeming to stop due to the pure confusion you felt as you tried to understand his question.
“Calling a cab for myself? I drank, too, and I don’t even know how to drive when sober. What do you think I’m doing?” Eddie crossed his arms, sucking in his bottom lip as he furrowed his brows at you.
“Yeah, no. I can give you a lift. I’m not letting you get another cab, let alone wait out in the cold for one.” As he spoke, he avoided your gaze at all costs, looking around the empty parking lot as the other three boys spoke amongst themselves next to the van. 
“What’s the issue with me getting a cab?” You squinted your eyes expectantly, waiting to hear whatever bullshit reason he could come up with. 
“I’m not letting a woman get a cab alone at this time of night, especially in this part of town. Who do you think I am?” A part of you wanted to answer his question, your mouth opening as you almost did, but you thought it was best not to. 
“What about Kace? You not worried for him?” Eddie snorted at your response, tilting his head from side to side as he seemed to weigh his options for a reply.
“Mm, no, not really. He looks like he could really mess someone up if need be.” Not quite understanding what he meant, as Kace was always such a softie in your eyes, you nodded in false agreement, taking the moment of silence to really think about your options.
He was right; either wait out in the cold for another half hour for a cab, or get a ride home from someone you were hoping not to see today, or any day, at that. Weighing your options, one seemed easier, but being tired and tipsy pushed you to lean to the other side.
“You still offering that ride?” Eddie’s expression as you finally spoke seemed to catch you off guard, almost as if he wasn’t expecting you to even consider his offer.
“Yep. ‘Course, I���d have to drop Gareth off first. Poor boy doesn’t know his left from his right so I wouldn’t trust him making his own way home at this dark hour.” The boy turned to face his bandmate, Gareth flipping him off as he slammed the van doors shut, the two other boys now gone as they had presumably started to make their own way home. Eddie laughed, turning back to face you.
“Eh, no, never mind. It’s fine. I can get a cab or walk. It’d give me a chance to sober up before going home to my sister, too,” you dismissed, Eddie deeply inhaling before loudly sighing.
“Nope, I’m not letting you do that. You’re either gonna freeze to death or end up drowned in a lake somewhere. And hey, cab drivers can’t be trusted either. You ever hear those stories of murderous cab drivers, preying on sweet girls like you?” You scoffed.
“I can handle myself, Munson. And ‘sweet’? Cyanide’s sweet, too, I’ll have you know. You should know the capabilities that shit has.” The way Eddie’s eyes locked with yours felt piercing in both directions, but neither of you were letting up. With a quiet chuckle, Eddie leaned down, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“Exactly, doll. I know what I said.” 
What?
What is that supposed to mean- As your brain cycled through a dozen thoughts a second, you didn’t notice Eddie straightening his posture again, appearing as if that last sentence wasn’t even uttered.
“Nevermind that, I can hear you chattering again.” His voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
“What? No, no you can’t. I’m not-” As you spoke, a gust of wind traveled up your body. The wind was, indeed, a paid actor. The sensation caused your entire body to shiver, perfectly proving the smug boy’s claim as he raised a finger, pointing it at you. 
“Right there, teeth chattering.” 
“I shivered, it wasn’t teeth chattering.” As he opened his mouth to bite back once again, the sound of the side of the van being slapped alerted both of you, Eddie turning his head at a speed that would give any regular person whiplash.
“We’re not doing this again, guys. Eddie, are we gonna get going or what?” Gareth held his arms out in offense as Eddie turned to face you again, almost completely ignoring the younger male’s query. Eyes back on you, the taller brunette decided to press only one more time.
“Yes or no, doll. Ride in the van, or end up dead ‘n’ floatin’ in a lake somewhere. Your choice.” You crossed your arms in thought, rubbing your damn near frozen fingertips against the lace thinly covering your elbows. 
“I think if I do decide to get in that van with you, I’ll still end up ‘dead ‘n’ floatin’’ in a lake somewhere. I’m tempted to go with the option that means I don’t have to be in the same vehicle as you, honestly.” Almost silently showing that he was nearing his final straw, Eddie sucked his bottom lip in, readjusting his posture to roll his shoulders back too, making you press your lips together in an attempt to stifle a snort. 
“Alright, alright, I get it. No more Mister Nice Guy. I’ll take the ride, Munson.” Eddie’s body released all of its tension as you gave your final answer, a tight-lipped boyish grin appearing on his face as he looked down at you. 
You began marching over to the van with Eddie jogging to catch up just slightly behind you. As you were just a couple of meters away from the vehicle, the boy started speaking from the side of you, sliding in next to you to open the passenger door. 
“Prepare for the ride of your life.” You grimace at the comment, unsure of any underlying innuendos he may have been making. It took a few moments more for Eddie to realize just exactly what it was that he had said, the grin dropping from his face as he clocked his own words. His head dropped, arm staying stuck out, hanging onto the van door handle.
“Ride. As in a car ride. That’s- that’s what I meant.” You couldn’t help but find the humor in his accidentally suggestive comment in addition to the way he was responding to your non-verbal reaction. Letting out a quiet chuckle as you climbed into the van, you subconsciously placed a hand on his shoulder for support. 
Getting comfortable in your seat, you quietly spoke into his ear, his curls just about grazing your cheek as you craned your neck down to him.
“I’m ready for the ride of my life, Mr. Munson.”
It wasn’t like you weren’t able to handle your alcohol. Kace had a somewhat lower tolerance than you, usually getting tipsy off of just a few shots, whereas it’d take you entire pint glasses to finally start feeling a noticeable buzz. You were always the designated “mom” of the group whenever you, Kace, and a few others went out for drinks or attended parties, as you were able to handle your alcohol the most (and also because you subconsciously made sure to hold back just in case April made a surprise visit home when she was supposed to be elsewhere). One thing you did know about your intoxicated self, however, was how you tended to thoroughly enjoy messing with people after a few drinks. You loved fucking around with people as it was but always refrained from doing so, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention from people you really didn’t want the attention of. A couple of drinks just let you forget about those types of people, though. It was nice. 
As you sat back down in your seat, facing forward and smoothing out the skirt of your dress, you looked to your right at Eddie, who was still standing next to the passenger door, hand still resting on the handle. His head was hung low, his knotted brown curls hiding his face from your view. You quietly took a breath in as you tried to think of a way to ask if he was okay without sounding like a complete loser, but before you could even start to think of anything, he lifted his head, his curls flailing slightly before dropping back onto his shoulders. 
“Right, let's get going, party people.” He slammed the door shut, startling you as the interior handle almost collided with your arm. 
After Eddie had finally gotten himself into the van and started leaving the parking lot, you kept yourself squished up against the side of the vehicle, not wanting to accidentally make contact with Gareth who was sitting in between you and the driver. Not like he’d even notice if you did, as he seemed to be too caught up in his conversation with Eddie, the two boys talking about their band and improvements they could make to their set, from what you could gather. 
A short 10 minutes passed before you finally arrived at Gareth’s house, Eddie and the younger boy hopping out to unload the drum kit into Gareth’s garage, ready for their next rehearsal day. Not knowing how long it was going to take as you were sitting alone in the van, you decided to look around at your surroundings. 
Eddie’s van had obvious wear and tear to it, a fact you noticed almost instantly. It still seemed to be in good condition compared to what you thought a vehicle owned by the infamous Eddie Munson would’ve looked like. There were a few empty cans of what appeared to be beer brands in the foot well of the passenger seat near your boots, the same cans that had been rolling around and clattering against the interior of the van the entire trip to Gareth’s. You wondered how the noise didn’t get on Eddie’s nerves each time he drove, because it definitely did get on yours in just a single car ride. 
With an idea coming into your head, you began looking around the vehicle, searching for something in particular as you dug through all the nooks and crannies in Eddie’s van, trying to avoid touching anything that looked off-limits or sticky (why things were sticky, you didn’t want to know). You opened the glove compartment just in front of you and began rummaging around as you pushed a stack of tapes to the side, your eyes catching a glimpse of a pink box. With squinted eyes and a short pause, you eventually recognized the packaging from the shelves of your local drugstore, slowly sliding the stack of tapes back to their original position to hide it. Making a quick awkward movement, you promptly clicked the glove compartment shut, making a mental note to not open it ever again, as if you were even going to be in Eddie’s van again.
Not knowing where else to look that you haven’t already, you leaned over the middle seat, stretching your arm to reach down into the door compartment next to the driver’s seat. Allowing your hand to dig for a couple of seconds, you almost gave up and pulled away as your knuckle touched something sticky, but quickly stopped as you heard that familiar crinkle. Victoriously, you pulled a black plastic bag out of the sticky, trash-filled compartment, holding it in the air triumphantly.
However, just as you did so, the driver’s side door swung open, your eyes snapping up at the disturbance and locking with Eddie’s own. The boy stood there, silent, as he looked down at you, your torso still stretching across the seats, seatbelt being pulled to its limit, and crumpled-up plastic bag still firm in your grasp. 
“What you doing, doll?” Eddie asked, leaning against the side of the open vehicle as his posture relaxed. You looked between his face and the plastic bag once, before leaning back to sit up straight in your seat, busying yourself with collecting trash from the front section of the van and shoving it into the black bag. 
“Cleaning. This thing is filthy, Munson. Like, honestly, it’s disgusting. Some parts of the van are sticky. Why are they sticky? Vans shouldn’t be sticky. What the fuck do you even do in here?” you replied, avoiding his piercing gaze as you frantically shoved empty cans and takeout boxes into the bag. 
The van shook slightly as Eddie climbed in, pulling the door shut behind him. He was silent, and you could see him staring at you in the corner of your vision. Being under his intense watch made you feel queasy. 
“You a clean freak all the time, or is it just when you’ve drank?” You rolled your eyes, settling the bag of trash in between your knees as you looked over your shoulder at him. 
“I’m not a ‘clean freak’, I just don’t want to sit in the middle of garbage. It’s fuckin’ gross. Do better.” Eddie snorted at the jab you made at the end of your sentence, and you just stared at him with a look of “I’m not joking, Munson. Sort it out.”. Surprisingly, Eddie seemed to catch your drift, pulling a blue plastic bag out of the side compartment in his door. 
Without even being asked to do so, the boy started shoving pieces of trash and chewed, discarded gum into his plastic bag. Strangely, as you attempted to watch what he was doing without making it obvious, you were somewhat endeared by his sudden actions, appreciating the effort he was putting in to tidy his own van. 
“She was due a deep clean, anyway. Not that I’m gonna deep clean her tonight, just gonna start by tidying up the inside a bit, if you catch my drift.” You side-eyed Eddie as you tried to understand what he meant by that last part, earning a slight shrug in response, shoving a glass bottle into his bag at the same time. You looked around the van, trying to see if there was anything else that needed disposing of. From what you could see with minimal searching effort, there wasn’t anything else you found, feeling happy with yourself as you realized. 
Tying a knot in your bag, you broke the silence again.
“What do we do with these bags? Should we just leave them tied up in the back until you get back to yours later so you can toss ‘em?” Eddie looked out of the side window for a second, before holding a hand out towards you and replying.
“Nah, hand it over.” He reached over to grab the plastic bag in your grasp, his fingertips slightly grazing the back of yours as he did so. The boy opened the door again, stepping out of the van as he made his way over to the trash cans outside of Gareth’s house, tossing the two bags in one of them. Brushing his hands off, he made his way back to the vehicle, hopping back into his seat and starting the engine as he slammed the door shut. 
“Won’t Gareth, or like, his family notice that you’ve done that?” you questioned, skeptical towards the choice he had made. 
“Nah, I toss beer cans and other shit in their trash all the time during practice. They never notice, but if they have, they haven’t brought it up to anyone yet.” Looking over his shoulder, Eddie cracked an aloof grin at you before promptly driving away from Gareth’s. 
As Eddie drove along, you finally started to sober up, and that’s when the questions started. 
“Where are you taking me?” Eddie didn’t respond instantly, as if he himself didn’t even know. And then he shrugged. 
“Dunno. What you in the mood to do?” He side-glanced you, your hands in your lap as you played with your rings, trying to think of something. 
“Preferably, it’d be going home. But I’m not sure I wanna go back while I’m still kind of tipsy. Don’t need my sister dealing with that.” You rested your head against your arm which was pressed up against the window, and you could see Eddie raise his brows in the corner of your eye. 
“You got a sister? That’s something I didn’t know about you.” You lazily shrugged at nothing.
“Yeah, she’s a freshman. She knows those two freshies that are in your little nerd club.” The brunette nodded, keeping his attention on the road ahead of him, yet making it clear that he was still listening to you. 
You weren’t fully sure of where he was driving to, but he seemed focused nonetheless. 
“Cool, cool. The more you know. I’m slowly learning more about you, doll.” The way Eddie’s chocolate-y curls dipped as he angled his head to face you sitting at his side made you feel a swell in your chest, the air in the van suddenly feeling stuffy. You sat up, beginning to roll down the window on your side, shaking your head as you spoke.
“I thought I told you not to call me that, Munson.” Eddie laughed at your comment, finding the humor in your sudden change of attitude. 
“Ooh, struck a nerve there, didn’t I? Sorry, won’t do it again, your highness.” His voice was riddled with mockery, and you rested your arm out of the open window, feeling the chilly air pleasantly nip at your flushed skin. 
When you didn’t respond, Eddie decided to fill the silence again. 
“Don’t get sour on me now. If you wanna get one back at me, why not come up with a name for me, huh? Then you’ll have a way to fire back instead of just calling me Munson. Get creative, yeah?” You turned your head, cocking it to the side with uncertainty as you looked at the boy who had brought his focus back to driving, his right arm now propped up to rest on the back of the middle seat. 
Slouching down lazily, you took a moment to think, giggling to yourself at your own mental commentary. Without looking away from the road, Eddie angled his head towards you. The way his brows knitted together in the middle of his forehead contrasted with the boyish, toothy grin on his face as he piped up at your sudden amusement. 
“Hey, what’s so funny?” Making an obvious gesture to slightly turn your body away from his, crossing your arms tightly across your chest, you shrugged.
“Nothing. I’m not laughing at anything, sweetheart.” The sickly cliche nickname had made you laugh quietly to yourself, the sheer sweetness of the classic pet name being something you thought Eddie Munson, local “satanist” metalhead, would’ve loathed entirely. 
Instead, the snort that erupted from him had you turning to face him in an instant. 
“Really? That’s what you came up with?” The snark in his voice made you huff, dramatically re-folding your arms across your chest in mock offense.
“Hush, Munson. It was the sweetest name I could think of in my current state. ‘S not good enough for you, your highness?” Again, the brunette let out a hearty laugh, causing a very subtle smirk to form on your face. 
Approaching a red stop light, Eddie brought the vehicle to a halt, turning his attention over to you as he leaned toward where you were sitting, his arm on the back of the seats giving him support as his face got uncomfortably close to your own. He smelt like cigarettes and sweat. Nasty. 
“Nah, it’s good enough. Just thought you would’ve tried to wound me a bit more, sweetheart.” The way Eddie’s large doe eyes burnt into your skin made you feel like shriveling up inside, imploding in on yourself. Somehow, you managed to slouch even further into your seat, keeping your eyes locked onto his as if he’d do something if you even looked away for just a second. There were a few beats of silence between the two of you before the stop light turned amber, a change you both seemed to notice as you finally let out a breath you didn’t know you were keeping in, and Eddie leaned back to sit up straight in the driver’s seat again, continuing the drive down the road as the light turned green. 
Okay. Good. Stay over there. 
After that last stop, the van remained in complete silence. Normally, Eddie could be seen (or heard) blasting his metal music through the school parking lot each morning and afternoon, but on this night specifically, any type of music seemed to not be on his mind. With your mind unoccupied by anything else, and with the gust of wind that spread into the van through your open window, you began shivering just as usual, your black lacey dress doing nothing to keep you warm. You pulled at the dress’ long sleeves to try and cover your hands more as if doing that would do anything for your situation. 
Eddie seemed to notice the way you were shivering in your seat in the corner of his eye, his hands fidgeting on the steering wheel as he finally broke the silence. 
“You not got my jacket or anything? I thought I let you borrow that so you wouldn’t freeze your ass off anymore. Do you just forget about the typical Hawkins weather each time you leave the house or something?” Instinctively, your shoulders relaxed once you picked up on the uncertainty in Eddie’s voice, the surprising absence of his usual snark tone making the atmosphere in the van feel a lot more casual. 
“...It’s at home. At mine. It’s at mine. Why would I have it with me?” He side-eyed you.
“Because I gave- let you borrow it so you wouldn’t freeze. I’ve already explained this, man.” You looked over at Eddie and he was firmly focused on the road ahead of him now. You looked down at your lap, your hands resting on your legs as you twisted and turned the rings decorating your fingers. The van was silent again. Eddie silently driving, you silently thinking. 
Looking up after only a few moments, focusing on the road ahead, you spoke. 
“I appreciate the gesture, Munson. I didn’t need the jacket but still, thanks. I’ll… I’ll make sure to get it back to you soon. I know you wear that thing basically all the time.” Eddie’s shoulders jolted upwards as he chuckled, tight posture coming undone at your words. 
“Yeah, that’s fine. And you’re right, I do wear it all the time. My outfits don’t feel right without my precious leather jacket. She’s a statement piece.” You turned your head to face Eddie again, a smile appearing on your lips. 
“She’s a she, yeah? Why does your jacket have a gender, Munson?” The boy looked over his shoulder, his head angled to look down at you with a smug look on his face. 
“Well, you know, the ladies love me. You should know this by now, doll.” With the return of his mocking voice, you roll your head back, groaning as he slapped the steering wheel with a burst of hearty laughter, the previously silent, awkward atmosphere in the van completely dissipating. 
“More like you love the girls, and they don’t want you within a fifty-mile radius of them.” As you sat back, proudly crossing your arms, Eddie held his hand up, making a talking gesture with his fingers to mock you. As he did that, you noticed how he had pulled up finally, the car stopping in front of what looked like just a bunch of trees. 
Looking out of the window, you tried to get a grasp on where you were, the unfamiliarity of your surroundings leaving you completely in the dark. 
“Yo, wanna explain where…” you waved your hand out the window into the darkness, “this is?” Eddie took the key out of the ignition and climbed out of the van, making his way around to the passenger side to open the door for you. 
“M’lady,” he said, as he bowed slightly, holding an arm out to his side. Not knowing what other option you had apart from flat-out refusing and just making it awkward, you climbed out of the vehicle, smoothing down and adjusting your clothes as you took a better look around. There was a road nearby, the one you had driven down to arrive at your destination, and the rest of the area was shrouded in tall, ancient-looking pine trees. 
You were really trying your best to figure out where the fuck you were, but it was a lost cause. It wasn’t like you didn’t know your way around Hawkins; you just didn’t venture down long, empty roads leading to murder-y wooded areas often. You know, for obvious reasons. 
“Answer me or I’ll kill you, dump your body, and use your van to take my ass home.” Eddie looked down at you, his arms crossed like a stern parent, but his smiling face gave the exact opposite vibe. 
“If you take my van and somehow figure out how to drive it to yours, wouldn’t that just incriminate you when my missing person case goes public?” You shrugged.
“Nah. No one will be looking for you.” The boy let out a breathy laugh, his eyebrows arched in surprise at your blunt statement. 
“Jesus H. Christ, doll. That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” Is he serious? Almost as if your face spoke the words you were thinking, Eddie unfolded his arms, turning his back to you as he slowly began walking towards the trees.
“Right, okay, come on. I’ll show you why I’ve brought you here.” You stayed planted where you were, not being fully sure about walking into a dark, wooded area with Eddie Munson himself. Noticing the absence of your footsteps following his own, Eddie stopped in his tracks, spun on his heel, and stared at you from a few meters away. 
“If you don’t follow me, I’ll be the one dumping a body.” Defeatedly, you dropped your arms to your sides, trudging over to him with a long, dramatic groan. 
As you reached his side, Eddie continued to walk again, and you noticed the way he was looking down at you from his side. Smug prick. 
“Whatever.” You turned your nose up at him, facing forward as you entered a gap in between the trees, making sure not to trip over any possible fallen branches on the forest floor.
After 5 short minutes of hyperfocused walking (ensuring to make it out the other side in one piece), and lighthearted banter between you and the tall brunette, the sight of a large body of water caught your attention, the moon above you reflecting brightly off of it. Eddie got ahead of you as he jogged to the edge of the lake, sitting down on the dry dirt with his legs crossed, knee protruding out of one of the rips on his dark, acid-washed jeans. You made sure to take in every detail of your environment as you followed the boy to where he was sitting, tucking the bottom of your dress inwards behind you as you sat down, keeping your knees tucked up towards your chest, a measly attempt at staying warm. 
There were a few long moments of silence before anyone spoke another word. The way the moon shone off the gentle ripples on the water caught your eye every now and then, the subtle swaying and creaking of the old trees behind you serving as the main source of noise in the area around the two of you. Now and again, you caught yourself looking to your side in the corner of your vision at Eddie, his hands nestled in his lap as his fingers played with his silver, chunky rings. You had taken note of that particular habit of his. 
The silence was deafening, but not uncomfortable. Awkward, definitely, but not uncomfortable. You didn’t feel like clawing your way out of your own skin and running off into the woods, never to be seen by anyone, especially Eddie Munson, ever again. You just felt like you needed to say something. But at the same time, you felt like you shouldn’t. Nonetheless, curiosity got the best of you. 
“So… why are we here, may I ask?” Eddie instantly started to shuffle out of his position as you spoke, his leg closest to you tucking against his body as he rested his chin on his knee, arms hooking around his ankle. 
“Thought you might want to sober up before heading home. Because, you know, your sister.” He turned his head on its side, allowing it to somehow comfortably rest on his knee, now facing you. You slowly nodded in agreement, taking it as a good enough answer. However, it wasn’t the kind of response you could also respond to, cutting the conversation short once again. 
A few beats passed before you realized that you and Mr. Munson had just been staring at one another, his face blank and unreadable as you suddenly felt small under his watchful gaze. In a matter of seconds, you scraped the bottom barrel of your mind to try and find some sort of conversation topic, figuring anything was better than silence with a side order of prolonged eye contact. 
“What did I do?” The extremely vague question had Eddie’s brows furrowing together under his bangs, just barely visibly due to the only source of light in the area being from lanterns hanging outside the nearby cabins. You managed to get the hint that Eddie didn’t have a single idea as to what you were on about, so you continued. 
“What did I do to make you dislike my presence so much? I mean, you can’t hate me that much if you took me all the way out here in your van with your spare time to help me sober up. It just doesn’t-” He held a hand up between the two of you, lifting his head from his knee with closed eyes before adjusting his position on the ground to allow his body to face yours. 
“I’m gonna stop you right there. You’ve got it wrong, doll-” the way your face dropped at the nickname made Eddie pause for a moment, “sorry, habit. But still, you’ve got it wrong. I don’t dislike your presence, I thought you disliked mine. Or, more specifically, me. I know we didn’t really speak, like, at all before your buddy Hayes asked to sub for Hellfire, but I just get the vibe that you feel like I’ve wronged you in some grand, unredeemable way. What’s up with that?” 
Did you really come across that way? You weren't exactly fond of Eddie due to the shit he’d get himself into in school and around town, but it wasn’t like you hated his guts for a personal reason or anything. Honestly, you saw him as mostly just like any other Hawkins-deemed creep; the same as you. A social outcast, a small-time pariah, and a full-time freak. You didn’t intentionally come across as hating every fiber of Eddie’s being, but you could admit there were times when you had been less than friendly to him, mostly during school if you had managed to run into him or vice versa. 
Still, Eddie thinking that you hated him didn’t sit right with you. You looked down at the dirt as you tried to think of the words for what you wanted to say.
“I don’t hate you, Eddie. I don’t think I ever have. I know we’ve clashed before and I haven’t always seemed the most approachable. God, you don’t even seem that approachable at times with the whole cocky attitude you flaunt around school, but I don’t have anything against you. Not knowingly, at least. I haven’t even personally known you for that long. I’ve known of you, I guess, but I haven’t known you. But I can say now that I think I know you somewhat better than I did, say, compared to last week. You’re-” You caught yourself mid-sentence as you finally looked up again to face the boy just sitting across from you, and when you did, the expression on his face had you completely stumped for words. 
It was a mixture of awe, and what seemed to be like him holding back on making a joke. 
“Carry on, doll. You were about to give me a heart-wrenching, lovey-dovey, diabetes-inducing compliment?” You sucked in your cheeks, rolling your jaw as you narrowed your eyes at the boy’s smug face, allowing yourself a few moments to think of the perfect way to fire back at Eddie, wanting to damage his ego more than you almost just did to yourself. 
Instead, all you could find yourself doing was extending an arm out to shove his shoulder, Eddie’s tucked-in sitting position coming undone as the slight nudge caused him to lose balance, his arms flung out to regain stability. The urgency in his movement had you laughing quietly, not wanting to disturb the serene peace of the lake and woods surrounding you. There was a moment where, after regaining stability and getting back into a comfortable sitting position, Eddie locked eyes with you, the smile forming on his face mirroring your own, only with the addition of his dimpled cheeks as you continued to let out a modest chuckle.
The air settled as your laughter died down and you found yourself idly dipping the toe of your boot into the most shallow part of the lake, careful to not dip too far. However, Eddie’s next words brought your attention back to him after only a few minutes of comfortable quiet between the two of you. 
“You called me Eddie.” 
...
“What?”
“You called me by my first name.”
...
“...So?”
“You’ve never done that before.”
Had I really not?
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Don’t. Don’t apologize for it. It’s nice to hear. I mean, someone calling me anything other than Munson or… freak.” You stared at his face, and his expression was, once again, unreadable, his eyes trained on the gently rippling water beside the two of you. In the corner of your eye, you could see his ringed fingers tapping softly against his denim-clad knee.
“Gotcha…” you muttered, feeling slightly awkward and wanting to alleviate some of that tension, “...got it. I’ll keep it in mind, sweetheart.” His finger-tapping paused. Through his knotted brown curls, he locked eyes with you again, staring you down in a way that didn’t make you want to shrivel in on yourself for once. 
“Cheers, angel.” You scoff at the nickname.
“Not that one again…” Despite how you had negatively reacted to the nickname the first time he had called you it, the laugh you let out wasn’t one of annoyance or condescension, it was just one of genuine confusion in a soft moment that you didn’t want to ruin. 
“Hey, I mean it this time. Thanks, man. You’re a peach, even if you don’t look it.” Well, that wasn’t something you heard every day. Or, any day… ever, at that. It was nice being able to joke around with Eddie, and you wondered to yourself why you hadn’t tried actually talking to him ages ago. 
“‘M glad you think of me like that, Munson, even if you are the only person that does.” Eddie lifted his head from where it had been dipped down due to his, at times, awful posture, and he grinned at you as he, once again, fidgeted with the rings on his fingers, hands tucked into his lap to try and stay warm against the October chill. 
“No worries, doll.”
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winter-soldier-vibes · 4 years ago
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avenger!reader who suffers from depression and is really hard on herself/themself and blames themself after a mission went wrong and locks themselves out, bucky is worried abt them and comforts them
Bucky Barnes x reader
Word count:3102 (wow I went off the rails a bit huh 😅)
Warnings: self-blame, mentions of death, nightmares, panic attacks, breakdown, lots of tears, this one’s really angsty, flashbacks, some fluff/comfort but so much angst
A/N: I loved this request and had a great time writing it. This one’s a lil more angsty than I usually do and deals with some heavier themes than some of my other ones, so please take care of yourself and heed the warnings. I love you guys so much!
There was nothing you could have done.
You were the first off the quinjet, anxious to get out of the unbearable silence.
You kept your head down as you walked quickly to your room, trying to make as little noise as possible, stumbling to get into your room as fast as possible, locking the door behind you as you let the tears fall.
You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stave off your breakdown as you tried to keep taking even breaths.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” you said in a small voice.
“Yes?” the AI responded.
You took a shaky breath, trying to keep your voice even. “Turn on soundproofing, please.”
“As you wish. I am picking up on signs of distress, would you like me to call Sergeant Barnes?”
You shook your head violently at the thought of anyone, especially your boyfriend seeing you like this. “No.”
“Are you sure? Would you like me to call -”
“Don’t let anyone in this room.”
“As you wish, Y/n.”
You heard a noise indicating that the room had been soundproofed.
And you lost it.
You brought a hand to your face and sank back against the wall, shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. You pushed yourself back against the wall, trying to ground yourself. Your mind flashed back to the mission you had just returned from and you let out an agonizing scream.
You’ll never forget the looks on their faces.
“Y/n, come on we have to go!”
“Wait - no I almost have them!”
“Help us - please - no don’t go!”
Blood curdling screams that didn’t belong to you, followed by your own.
A building had collapsed on an innocent family in the aftermath of the fight. You tried to get them out, but you were too late, Steve pulling you away at the last second before you were taken out too.
You were so angry, you had been so close - if you had seen them sooner, if you had just a few more seconds, maybe you could’ve gotten them out.
The last thing that they saw was their only hope being pulled away from them before being suffocated.
You were the last thing they saw, you had promised to get them out.
And you had lied to them.
The last thing they felt was hope that they’d see another day. No - the last thing they felt was betrayal and fear when they realized that one of the world’s greatest heroes couldn’t be their hero too.
The moments that had followed were a blur, your eyes frozen on where their eyes had been, shock coursing through your veins. You had seen someone die before but...not like that. Not when you could’ve maybe saved them.
The shock quickly bubbled into anger as you turned to Steve.
“Why the FUCK would you do that? I could’ve saved them!”
“You would’ve died Y/n!”
“If you hadn’t been distracting me then maybe I would’ve gotten them out in time!”
You had angry tears in your eyes, hitting Steve’s chest and doing exactly nothing to his broad form while he tried to console you.
“Get the fuck away from me! I could’ve saved them, this is YOUR fault.”
The ride back was silent. No one dared to talk to you about what had happened. You felt bad after a while but you couldn’t apologize without completely crumbling. If you opened your mouth you were certain that sobs would come rather than words.
You did feel horrible for what you said, because it wasn’t true. It wasn’t Steve’s fault.
It was yours.
So you waited until you returned to the privacy of your room, screaming bloody murder over the guilt you felt. Replaying what had happened, telling yourself everywhere you had gone wrong, every hesitation that could’ve given you an extra few seconds.
You felt like you’d never stop seeing their eyes, paralyzed by fear.
You were the last thing they saw, and now you would remember their last moment for the rest of yours.
You couldn’t imagine the amount of pain and fear they had felt when they realized they weren’t getting out of the rubble alive. That they would die as a part of a warzone they didn’t intend to be a part of. The feeling of hope draining from their bodies, blood running cold as they realized they had mere seconds left.
“No!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, body curling in on itself as you drew your knees in and wrapped your arms around your torso, sick to your stomach.
This was your fault, and you would never forget it.
---
The rest of the team had sighed as they watched you get off the quinjet, walking a bit too fast to be alright. They shared concerned looks with each other, watching your form disappear into the compound.
You weren’t okay, but after what had happened when Steve tried to approach you, they thought it best to give you some space.
The rest of them entered the compound, going their separate ways as Steve sat to down and ran a hand down his face, trying to get his mind off of what had happened. He was shaken up too, but he couldn’t lose you like that. You would die protecting strangers, and while he thought that was noble, he wondered when there wouldn’t be someone to pull you out in time.
Bucky had come down to check on you, knowing that the team had gotten back from a mission. But before he could knock on the door, F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. “Sergeant Barnes, Y/n has requested that she not be disturbed.”
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, both in concern and confusion. Usually when a mission hit you hard, you would talk to him about what had happened. So either you were just tired, or this was worse than it had ever been.
He clenched his jaw and stood there for another few moments before he walked away, heading towards anyone who may be able to tell him what happened on the mission.
He came into the common room, seeing Steve doing a mission report. Well - the mission report was in front of him and he was staring blankly at it.
“Steve?” Bucky said softly, trying not to startle him.
Steve didn’t look up.
“Steve,” Bucky said a little louder.
Steve looked up from the papers, shaking his head slightly. “Hey, Buck. What’s up?”
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, taking in Steve’s tired appearance and how his mind seemed elsewhere.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Steve said, barely looking at Bucky.
“You know, I’ve taken care of enough black eyes from mister back-alley hero to know when you’re not really fine.” Bucky said with a small smirk.
Steve’s eyes flicked up to Bucky’s as he sighed. “It’s not me you should be worried about,” he muttered.
“What happened?” Bucky asked.
Steve recounted the mission to his friend, Bucky getting increasingly concerned about you. He knew you had a tendency to blame yourself for different things, and he knew what blaming yourself for someone’s death was like, even if you couldn’t control the situation.
Bucky was brainwashed. You were too late. Two different things, but the survivor's guilt was excruciating.
“Is she okay?” Bucky asked nervously.
“She didn’t get hurt, if that’s what you mean,” Steve started, “but she seemed pretty shaken up. You haven’t talked to her?”
“She doesn’t want to be bothered,” Bucky said.
Steve nodded. “Just give her some time,” he said, worriedly.
Bucky nodded, though unconvinced. He bottled up his emotions until the two of you met. Ever since the two of you never kept anything from each other. And he knew that seeing someone die and feeling at fault for it could destroy you. He wasn’t sure if time and space was what you needed.
But it was what you wanted right now. So he wouldn’t get in the way.
----
Back in your room you were curled in a ball on the floor, sobs wracking your body as you lost all sense of time and space and all you knew was it hurt and if you closed your eyes they were right there and you couldn’t do anything about it. You had a hand pressed to your chest as you tried to breathe but eventually gave way to a new surge of agony when your mind went back to how people died and you couldn’t help them.
You tried to calm down but then your mind would remind you that they had a family and they would never see them again and it was your fault.
“Stop, please just stop,” you put your hands over your ears as you tugged slightly on your hair.
They died terrified.
“Please make it stop,” you sobbed.
You were supposed to help them and you failed.
“No, God, please stop…”
They died because of you
----
You had fallen asleep on the floor at some point, when, you weren’t sure, but you woke up to your own screams. You were drenched in a cold sweat, dried tears on your face and chest heaving as you tried to breathe. You brought your hands to your mouth when you realized it was just a dream, sobbing once again.
You didn’t know why these people’s death was hitting you harder than any other death you had seen. This wasn’t the first time you had seen people die - far from it. You’d killed your fair share of agents without a hint at remorse. Because they deserved it.
You’d seen buildings burn down, fall apart, innocent people die - but you’d never felt as responsible as you did this time. Because they were right there. And you were so close.
But they still died and you saw their last moments. And you were theirs.
And it was destroying you.
----
You didn’t leave your room the following day. Or the day after that.
Needless to say, the team was extremely worried about you. Especially Bucky.
He knew what survivor’s guilt could do to a person, and he knew being alone with your thoughts wasn’t helping. He also knew that pushing the topic could do much more harm than good, causing you to retreat further into yourself.
He tried texting you, wanting to let you know that he was there for you, that he was worried about you, and that he loved you.
None of them went though because your phone was off, you having not even looked at it since coming back from the mission.
F.R.I.D.A.Y. was still telling everyone that you did not want to be disturbed, as you had requested. Obviously Tony had the power to override the locks, but again, no one wanted to push you.
When it had been 3 days since you had seen any sunlight, Bucky had had enough. He knew you couldn’t be taking proper care of yourself and he couldn’t let you do that to yourself. He had Tony override your locks and he came to your door, knocking gently.
“Y/n?”
Silence.
He knocked again, a little louder. “Y/n? I’m coming in, alright?”
Silence.
Bucky took a deep breath before he opened your door slowly, peeking his head in. it was the middle of the afternoon and your room was dark, the only light coming from the hallway and from the cracks between the shades, which were drawn shut.
Bucky let himself in and turned on a lamp, shutting the door behind him. He looked at you with worried eyes as he took in your appearance.
You were pressed up against the headboard of your bed, knees drawn to your chest as you stared blankly, your eyes fixated on your bedsheets. Your eyes were red, face blotchy, your hair was a mess and you were still wearing your uniform from the mission.
“You shouldn’t be here,” you said quietly, voice raspy from yelling these past few days.
“Y/n -”
“Get out,” you said quietly, though not angrily.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, y/n.”
“Please,” you said, cursing yourself as your voice cracked. You didn’t want to breakdown in front of Bucky.
“It’s not your fault, y/n.”
You pushed yourself off of the bed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing this right now, Bucky.”
“You’re going to have to talk about it at some point, y/n.”
“Not if I can help it.”
“This kind of thing isn’t going to go away, okay? Time heals but not by itself.” You weren’t listening as you ran a hand over your face, overwhelmed.
“Please, talk to me y/n. You’re going to make yourself sick.”
“I’m fine.”
“This isn’t fine. Not taking care of yourself and living in the dark staring at the wall isn’t fine, y/n. Please, don’t hide from me. It’s just me, y/n.”
You shook your head, eyes glazed over like glass. “I could’ve saved them.” you said simply.
“Y/n, there was nothing -”
“BULLSHIT!” You yelled. “There had to have been something I could do, if I had gotten there earlier or - or if I had moved faster or been stronger then I could’ve gotten them out! It’s my fault they’re dead okay? I couldn’t save them and that’s my fault!”
Bucky walked over to you slowly, asking you to look at him. “It isn’t your fault, y/n. The building collapsed, no one could’ve gotten them out.”
“I could have saved them.” you said again, tears falling down your face. “I could have gotten them out. I was the last thing they saw and you know what I was doing? Being carried away like some coward. They died afraid because a superhero couldn’t save them. And that’s on me.”
Bucky shook his head slightly. “You can’t save everyone, y/n.”
“So what, am I supposed to choose? I’m supposed to choose whether I save people or move on because they aren’t part of the mission? Am I supposed to let them die?” you asked incredulously.
“You can’t risk your own life like that, y/n.”
“What? And pretend like my life is any more important than theirs?!” you exclaimed.
“Y/n -”
“No, why do I have the right to walk away from people because I’m afraid of getting hurt when they’re about to die? What gives me that right?”
“Because I can’t lose you!” Bucky exclaimed. “Yes, those people matter, but goddamn it y/n, you have helped so many people and you will keep saving so many people, but you can’t do that if you’re dead. We help who we can and mourn the rest. It’s not your fault that those people died. There was nothing that you could have done.”
“But if I had a few more seconds -”
“The building still would have fallen and you’d be asking yourself for a few more seconds. There is nothing you or anyone else could’ve done.”
You stayed silent, more tears falling from your eyes. Bucky pulled you in for a hug as your shoulders started to shake with more sobs. “I know it doesn’t make it hurt any less, but it’s not your fault.”
“I can’t stop seeing the look they had on their faces,” you shook your head. “Everytime I try to sleep I see them and I can’t make it go away. And I want to forget but I don’t deserve to and it hurts but I don’t deserve to forget.”
“I know, I know,” Bucky said, knowing all too well what being haunted by the fear on someone’s face was like. “But it’s not your fault. You didn’t let them die, y/n. You would’ve given anything to save them, if Steve hadn’t pulled you away you would’ve died with them. You didn’t run away even though you knew you would die if you stayed. You do know that right?”
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t think you mean that,” Bucky said softly. You felt new tears fall from your eyes as you hid your face into Bucky’s chest.
“You can’t tell me that nothing could be done. You can’t tell me that innocent people were going to die and that’s the way it has to be. That isn’t fair,” you spoke through your tears.
Bucky pulled back to wipe the tears from your face and look you in the eyes. “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you did everything in your power to save them. It’s not your fault that you got there too late. Those HYDRA agents who destroyed the city - it’s their fault. Not yours.”
“I’m supposed to protect people,” you said as you shrugged and shook your head slightly. “If I can’t do that then what am I?”
“A person who is trying their best. You don’t always have to be everyone’s hero. You don’t have to take responsibility for everyone, that’s too much to expect of anyone. It’s not your responsibility to save everyone because you can’t. But you’ve saved so many people that would’ve died if you weren’t there. You are so important, but you have to stay alive to help more people.”
You took a shaky breath. “Those people were going to die no matter what,” you whispered, more to yourself than to Bucky. Your chest tightened again and you felt sick. “Oh my God,” you said, the acceptance of the fact brought on a new wave of emotions as your knees felt weak.
Bucky pulled you back into his chest again, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “It’s not your fault, y/n.”
“Then why does it hurt so much?” you sobbed against his chest.
“Because you have a good heart.”
You shook your head against his chest. “I don’t want one if it means it’s going to hurt this much.”
“It’s okay, y/n. It’s gonna be okay, I’ve got you.”
“Please make it stop. I don’t want it to hurt anymore.”
Bucky felt tears sting his own eyes at your pain, holding you tighter against him. He cleared his throat before saying “I can’t make it go away. But I’m here to hold you and do everything I can to make it better. I’m not going anywhere y/n.”
He held you against his chest, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’m not going anywhere.”
--------
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doppopoppo · 4 years ago
Text
|| Uramichi Daily Headcanon ||
|| Warnings: minor sexual harassment ||
|| Uramichi • Shy|F!Reader ||
Clubbing
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*💙
With the music blaring, more than what he was used to, Uramichi got a headache. He didn't even want to come here. He would much prefer their usual restaurant to drink. But Usahara being the annoying fool he is, dragged everyone to some club he frequents. Something about wanting to see the cute bartender. He should’ve just gone home.
Uramichi looked around the table. Utano was beyond drunk and complaining about her boyfriend. Iketeru was up on stage singing. He was drunk but still sounded good. Kumatani was busy trying to get Iketeru down from the stage. Usahara hitting on the bartender. The annoyed and exhausted man was busy smoking his cigarette, hoping he could go home soon.
“Look at those girls.” Uramichi heard Utano speak up, “oogling over Iketeru like that. Just cuz he’s got a nice voice and looks doesn’t mean shit!” He watched her complain and drop her head on the table. Probably crying.
Just as she said, he could see girls of all ages fawning over Iketeru. Some were even cooing at Kumatani, touched by his big brotherly gestures at Iketeru. Just how drunk was everyone tonight? He’ll get Usahara for this later. At least they’re having fun, well, most of them. Uramichi felt pity for Utano, but there was nothing he could do. So, he just gave a simple pat on her head to calm her down as she cried her soul out.
“Um, excuse me.” He heard a soft, meek voice near him.
Uramichi paid no mind. It was probably some conversation he was overhearing. Utano complained to him and wanted to know why her boyfriend still hasn't asked her to marry him. She’s been dropping hints. He felt awkward as he had no answer to it, considering he wasn’t close to either of them. He sighed, he’ll probably leave soon. But he feels bad leaving his friends drunk inside a club.
Uramichi felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see a young girl, perhaps no older than 25. She looked to be very shy, a faint blush apparent on her <skin color> cheeks. She wasn’t looking at him either but at her fingers, which she was twiddling. “Um, hi there.” Her blush intensified.
It was the same voice as earlier. So, it belonged to her and it was directed at him. He wasn’t interested in getting with some girl he had just met in the club. “Listen, I’m not a cordial man. Nor am I interested.” He quickly rejected the girl. Plus, she deserves someone better than him anyways. He’s in his 30s already, she’s got time to find someone better or improve herself; unlike him.
“There ya are cutie!” He heard a gruff voice coming towards his table.
Utano had long passed out and his friends were still busy doing what they already were. Why is everyone so social in this club?
He can hear the girl mumbling and, was she shaking?
“Where’d ya go? I turn around an ya gone.” The man came up to the trembling girl.
She clung onto the hem of her dress. “I was looking for a friend.” He could hear the fear in her voice. “I couldn’t find them.” She whispered and turned away from Uramichi.
“‘s okay pretty lady. You’ve got me to keep you company tonight and the bed warm.” His hand slipped up to her waist. A sly and gross smile displayed on his face.
Uramichi saw the young girl flinch. He’s not sure if it’s the drinks rushing through his body, but he quickly got up. “You should lay your grimy hands off people who don’t want it on them.” He glared at the gruff man. “Especially not my girlfriend.” Uramichi wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her away from the man.
A gasp left the girl's mouth when she heard him. She stumbled back and felt his toned chest on her back. Despite smelling like cigarettes and alcohol, he was warm.
Uramichi now understood the situation. She wasn’t trying to hit on him or take him back to her place, vice versa. She was trying to protect herself from some man making inappropriate advancements on her. He didn’t like men like that one bit. The girl in his arms didn’t deserve this, no one did.
He could feel her trembling under his arm, so he pulled her closer. He slightly moved Utano to the side and had the girl sit next to his seat.
“Hey listen! She was the one asking for it!” The man defended his actions. “Dancing on the dance floor and swaying her hips.” He licked his lips.
Uramichi was disgusted.
“She was simply enjoying herself. In no sense was she asking for you, or anyone, to come talk to her.” He glared at the man. “She has me to come back to.” Uramichi smirked.
This was extremely out of character for him, but he couldn’t stand by and let someone get harassed. Not when she came to his table for help as well. The stranger, no longer interested, cursed him out. He knew he’d have no chances of winning in a fight against Uramichi. All those muscles weren’t just for show. He walked away, leaving the tree of them at the table.
“Thank you.” He heard her say behind him.
He was grateful she was unharmed. He gave her a fresh glass of water to cool down from the recent event.
“My name's Y/N.” She put her hand out to shake his. “Mines Uramichi.” He replied.
“Sorry to have bothered you and your girlfriend. You didn’t have to do that.” The girl was afraid to look up at him.
She’s right. He didn’t have to, “but it was the right thing to do. I’m glad you’re safe.” He shook her hands. ‘They’re soft.’ He thought to himself. Especially against his own rough palm. “Also,” he pointed to the passed out Utano, “not my girlfriend. Just a coworker. Out with coworkers after clocking out.” He explained and sat down next to her. She seems to have calmed down.
She made an ‘Ah’ face and apologized for the misunderstanding. She looked at him properly for the first time, ‘He’s handsome.’ she thought to herself. Right as she was about to excuse herself, Uramichi spoke up, “you’re free to stay with us at the table until you leave.” He proposed, “for safety measures.” She took him up on his offer and thanked him for his generosity. He reminded her of an older brother figure.
Usahara came back to their table, confused, yet happy, to see the unfamiliar, pretty girl. Right after him, Iketeru and Kumatani joined their table. They all had questioning looks. Uramichi explained what had happened and the girl kept saying thank you.
Kumatani scolded her for coming to a club alone late at night. Iketeru sang random tunes to lighten up the mood. Usahara attempted to flirt with her but Uramichi glared at him each time. Utano’s still passed out. From what he’s noted, she’s shy but gets along with others with ease. Maybe he’ll hang around a bit longer. It’ll be rude of him to not walk his “girlfriend” back home.
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Author’s Note:
This came out better in my head, I swear! As a manga reader, I like to think Uramichi actually considers his coworkers his friends 🥺 Thank you for the requests so far! I see y’all thirsty for a specific person at the moment aye 👀 they should be up by the end of the week, be on the look out!
Also I wanted to thank you all for the support you have shown me so far 💜 it means a lot and truly does motivate me to continue writing. Feel free to DM me if you want someone to talk about the anime with XD
Enjoy!
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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 3 years ago
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Drabble Master List (Newest on top!) - Updated 7 Mar. 2022
“I just want to feel something.” “Do you wish things had happened differently?“ “Please don’t get up. I just want to cuddle.” “Wait a second—are you jealous?” “I did this whole thing for the blackmail material.” “The possessive arm around me is fine but please stop digging your fingernail into my hip.” Happy New Year! Christmas Snowball Fight “It ain’t even really loaded is it, honey?” / “You want to test it? I blow your brains out and I’ll probably get a fucking thank you letter.” “I just wanted you to be happy for once!” “You’re not gonna stay with me? How am I supposed to sleep after today?” “I’m sorry your back hurts. Next time I’ll carry you to bed.” desire/learning protective/run yearning/titillating sad/found surprise/first christmas hurt/lie “You tried to kill me.” “Ya gotta leave right now. Ya aren’t safe here.  “Can I join you?” “Of course I’m crying! You almost died!” He’s smitten. “It’s too cold in here.” “Do your worst.” “Make me.” “What if I’m the one we need saving from?” “Some days... I dunno.” “Wow. Trash talk is coming out strong.” “Even when I’m mad at you, I still love you.” “The bridesmaids in this wedding are really freaking me out.” “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” “Ya can handle more than ya think.” / “No, I can’t!”
“We saw none of that.” “Can we get married tonight?” “Yer gonna be the death of me, ya know that, righ’?” “You don’t realize just how damn tempting you are.” “You did good, real good. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.” “Do you want me to leave?” “Are we living or just existing?” (Daryl’s POV) Distracted Daryl trips “Is there a special reason as to why you’re wearing my shirt?” “I can’t quit ya, no matter how hard I try.” “How’d ya get that gash?” “She don’t come outta there until I say so. Got it?” “You’re in love with her.” Do you want to get out of here? “You bailed me out?” / “It’s become a habit not to think my decisions through.” “The things I’d do to maker her laugh.” “He ran into my knife” Hiding “I think that’s the least romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.” “Think of how dull your life would be without me. Pretty sad huh?” “Look at all the fucks I do not give.” “Tell me you need me.” “Don’t use me as an example. I wasn’t a good kid.” “Stop talking.” ”You’re my weakness.” Uncle Daryl After Rick’s death “Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.” This is my problem. I can sort it out myself and I don’t need you sticking your nose into my goddamn business.” “I know you’re awake.” “I don’t belong to anyone else.” ”We’re not just friends and you know it.” “Do you want to watch it?” “Ha! I’d suggest you step back and let us go before he kills you.” “When there’s a will and a complete disregard for your own personal safety, anything is possible.” ”Stop!” “You don’t understand.” “I’m supposed to be scared of you now?” Am I supposed to be scared of you now? “Are you happy? To be here with me right now?” / “Are you?” “We’re reading completely different books! We’re in different libraries across town from each other!” “She doesn’t owe you a date for shit.” Daryl has a certain type of dream about Y/N and is a bit flustered… ”Fuck you then.” ”Don’t be a bomb… please don’t be a bomb…” Scars You need to be more careful. Prompt: The library reveal scene in Beauty and the Beast “Have ya lost yer damn mind?” “There are certain things I might have conveniently forgotten to mention right at the time!” “You are single-handedly responsible for everything good that has happened to her.” “I love you, but get out.” “You ruined my life!” “Don’t touch me! We’re fighting!” “You have to love. You have to feel. It’s the reason we’re here. You’re here to risk your heart.” “If I die, I’m haunting your ass.” “If I don’t leave now, I will never get away.” “Don’t look back, not even at me, especially not at me.” “I wonder what the world would look like if I’d known that sooner.” “I’ve changed, and so have you.” “You couldn’t have finished that sentence beforehand?” “Take your shirt off.” / “Uhh, what?” “Please don’t leave me alone again.” “This world is doing nothing for me but turning me into a monster.” “I did.” “I’d do anything for you.” Drunk. “I need you to come back with or without him. Preferably alive.” “I didn’t expect you to be an expert in… locksmithing…” Gregory wants to talk to you. “Loyalty like that is hard to find. Hang on to it.” “You can’t say no before I’ve even asked you the question!” “They now fully understand the concept of personal space.” Shower “I need to wash off this blood…” “Ya just refused to let his darkness touch ya anymore.” “Me getting pissed off isn’t going to change anything.” “Do you think you could do me a favor?” Jesus Christ! Look away, Daryl. He’ll keep talking if he thinks someone is listening. When you’re done smoking in front of my house, you’re welcome to have the couch. Inmates This whole thing has felt a little like a drug-induced fever dream. She’s trying to bribe them to let her out of there. Why do the best intentions always turn out badly? Sunscreen. You can’t yell at me. I’m injured! I’m walking away. The same way you did. Look at me. I hope you know how much I like these little talks with you. I’m not going to get sick. Just let me hold you, you baby. I did. Did I do something to make you hate me? / I don’t hate you. I just don’t know how to talk to you. What’s wrong? / Where should I start? Don’t you think you’re taking this a little too far? We’re all a little stronger than we think we are. Don’t give me that look. It ain’t gonna work this time. Nobody saved me. I’m not afraid. Who am I to tell you to stay? Don’t try to spin this to be my fault! Leave. Stay back. How am I supposed to tell you the truth when I don’t know what version you want to hear? Take a break Just because it’s better than what you’ve had before that doesn’t mean that it isn’t still shit. I absolutely refuse to touch that. Don’t say it. You don’t deserve to. Why do you care anyway? Loving you is the only thing I’m good at. Y/N falls asleep in the car Palm reading You go, I go, That was always the deal. Nothing makes me happier and sadder than you. Sorry I’m so hard to deal with sometimes Gone fishing I don’t ever want us to be strangers again. If I hurt ya, it ain’t my fault. I warned ya.You really need to stop breaking into my house. / I wouldn’t have to break in if you’d just gimme a key. Fine, you can come in. Just take your shoes off, I don’t need you tracking mud everywhere… If he’s gonna treat ya like shit, I’m gonna kick his ass. You know despite what you think I am completely capable of taking care of myself. I don’t have to listen to anything you say. I’m right where I need to be. I trust you. You’re starting to feel like home. Come over here and make me. Back from The Sanctuary Something tells me you’re going to be trouble. You’re no match for me. I like when you smile. You will not take anything from me ever again. I’d never lie to you. “Are ya sure about this? It’s going to hurt.” / “it’s nothing I’m not used to” It was nice to hear your voice again. “Quit it, or I’ll bite.” I’m going to hell. / Save me a seat. Did they hurt you? There’s a surprise for you downstairs. I’ll kick his ass if you want. Well, if I ain’t the boss of you who is? You better watch yourself. Isn’t that my shirt? Don’t you care? / I can’t afford to. You know you want this, sweetheart. Guess we’re gonna be stuck here a while. What were ya expecting, a guardian angel? / No, I think I prefer this actually. Was that really necessary? / He was trying to kill me, so… “You can’t stop me.” / “Who said anything about stopping ya?” Are we bad people? I got you/I ain’t leavin’ ya out here Go back to sleep You’re such a prick sometimes You don’t have to carry this alone. I’m sorry, okay? Promise me you’ll come back. Yell, scream, cry! Just say something! Take me instead! You almost died because of me. Bite me! Look at me! I didn’t mean what I said. I trust you I would die for you. Don’t look at me like that. Let go of me! Ya can’t ask me to do this. You can be so damn irritating sometimes! Quit bein’ such a pain in the ass! It’s always been you. I’ve got you. I thought I lost you Stop moving so much Don’t you dare die on me! Stop bein’ an asshole Ya better watch yer mouth, sunshine That’s not what I mean and you know it! Is that blood? Don’t Leave Me Here Alone Something’s Wrong What If You Didn’t Come Back How Long Was I Asleep Stay I Know You Have Feelings For Me They’re Gone My Favorite Person This Isn’t Me Hungover Return Alone Help Unlooked For Take Care of You Lie to Me Eyes on Me
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wri0thesley · 4 years ago
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nat something about toji drives me absolutely feral, can i have a scenario or something where he meets reader at a bar and they have a steamy one night stand i don’t know i just want this beeg beefy dilf to absolutely ruin my puthy (fem reader please!)
anon, i really hope you have a corruption kink
Favourite (So Far) - Toji x Fem!Reader (5k)
Toji sees you sitting alone at a bar; all quiet and soft and unsure, and absolutely begging to be ruined - and he decides he can help with that.
warnings: afab reader, fem pronouns. not sfw, mentions of murder. corruption kink, virgin reader, dacryphilia, fingering, coming inside, dirty talk. 
Toji normally doesn’t bother lingering after he’s held up his end of the bargain, but the money is burning a hole in his pocket and the minute he’d left the body of the man he’d been hired to kill locked in the back office of the bar, he’d remembered you.
He estimates he’s got a good half an hour before anyone realises the man is dead. If they’d wanted him to clear up after himself, they should have written it in the contract – still, with how awkward you’d looked and how your eyes kept darting about the place, Toji is pretty sure he’ll have you away from the bar and with his arm around your waist in . . . ooh, ten minutes? Fifteen, at a push.
He knows your type.
You’re uncomfortable, watching your friends go off and flirt and dance – pulling at your skirt (you’re uncomfortable in that, too), tugging your thin shirt up to cover your chest, ordering something non-alcoholic and looking morosely at it. Your eyes avoiding when men try and catch your gaze, your posture tensing – he’s pretty certain that you do not want to be here, and Toji is going to offer you an alternative that he thinks you might prefer.
You don’t notice him until he’s right beside you (people never do), leaning in against your ear, one of his arms slapping on the bar beside you, caging you in on your barstool. You start, moving back, blinking your pretty eyes at him in clear surprise, your mouth a soft ‘o’ – ah. Toji can tell you’re the kind of girl who isn’t used to male attention, who doesn��t think that you’re anything special. Shy. Probably untouched-- he’s grinning at you, and he doesn’t miss the little swallow, the flash of interest in your eyes (girls like you always like the idea of getting involved in something a little dangerous)--
“Can I buy you a drink, sweetheart?”
The voice is rough and low and dark, startling you from your reverie. Your friends have all, indeed, long gone – after sighing at you that you’re no fun, that they shouldn’t have asked you to come out with them anyway – you’re surprised by the man it belongs to, all raven hair and piercing green eyes and a scar on his lip that your eyes can’t help but trace the line of – how does somebody end up with a scar like that?
“Oh,” you bluster, feeling embarrassed and unsure by the way he’s looking at you, the easy way he throws out the pet name, the casual authority he’s emanating by how you’ve been caged. “I’m-- I don’t really--”
He chuckles.
“Me neither,” he says. “Lemme get you somethin’ soft, then--”
It would be easier, he thinks, if you had agreed – if you’d been softened a little bit by the buzz of alcohol. Still, he knows that what he gives off is heady enough that you’ll come with him anyway – he doesn’t drink himself, so he’s not exactly going to blame you for wanting to keep your wits about you. Smart thing, for all of how vulnerable you look in a short skirt and high heels and a low-cut top. He’s ordered something for you before you can refute – you can’t deny to yourself that it’s nice. It’s nice to have someone be interested in you. It’s nice, too, that said someone is rugged and six foot something with corded veins and muscle in thick biceps and forearms.
You’re staring at him, and Toji allows it, letting his own gaze crawl across your pretty face, your body, the way the cheap lights of this dive are picking out the shine in your eyes and the gloss of your lipstick.
“What’s a cute little thing like you doin’ on her own somewhere like this?” He asks you, lifting the glass to his lips. You try not to stare at them, though your stomach is twisting. You shrug, awkwardly.
“I got dragged here by some friends,” you say, inclining your head towards the dance-floor, where your friends are very much living up to their earlier assertion that they were going to have a wild time and if you weren’t going to join in, then you could just wallow in your misery.
“Ah,” he raises his eyebrows, eyes briefly brushing over where you’d indicated before returning to you. Something about the way that those eyes are pinning you like a butterfly to a cork board makes you squirm, heat curling in your lower belly. Nobody has ever looked at you like that before. This man is staring at you like he wants to take you apart, and it’s exhilarating. “You not the dancin’ sort, huh?” Another swallow. The bob in his throat is mesmerising. “Can’t blame ya. Pretty thing like you’s probably inundated with attention the minute y’get out there--”
You laugh, softly, heat rising to your cheeks. Toji can’t help but think how cute that is – you’re so obviously unaware of yourself. When he gets you on your back, he knows you’ll have that certain kind of naivety that never fails to get him hard and aching in his pants; wide eyes and bitten lips and breath dying in your throat at the touch of his teeth and hands and cock.
“Nothing like that,” you say, “I just--”
Your eyes catch something. Toji looks too, as you’re interrupted by a pretty girl tottering up to you both in an even shorter skirt and even higher heels. Her eyes linger on Toji, a fraction too long, before she turns to you and pouts and says your name, making you wince. There’s a whining tone to her voice.
She’s complaining that someone’s spilt a drink over her, and Toji sees now that her expensive-looking shirt is stained dark brown. He hadn’t noticed the scent of beer wafting from her because of the overall air of the bar is absolutely saturated in it, but now that she’s right there . . . he wrinkles his nose.
“You have to come home with me, nobody else will,” she tugs on your arm. “And you said you weren’t having fun anyway, so you can always stay there, but I need to change out of this--”
There’s a world-weary quality in your eyes. Something that suggests to Toji that you’re used to being the designated person to take care of your friends, to dropping things to clean up after them – those big eyes and the downturn of your mouth and the softness of your voice all suggest to him that maybe part of the reason you’re so demure, so . . . innocent . . . is because you haven’t had a chance to explore anything else.
Toji drapes a thick arm around your shoulders. You jump at the contact – but almost as if it’s against your will, you nestle into him. Closer to him. A prey animal knows when it’s being protected, after all – even if it doesn’t know, yet, that he’s the predator.
“We’re a bit busy here,” he says, keeping his tone affable with a knife-sharp edge. The girl opens her mouth, as if she’s going to protest – but Toji grins, his eyes darkening, his mouth tilting to show just a little bit too much teeth. He lets himself draw himself up a little taller, so that his breadth and his height and the taut muscles beneath his tight shirt are unarguable. Your friend falters, shoots you a look, and then shrugs.
“F-fine,” she says, “I’ll go on my own--”
She walks away, pouting, storm clouds rising off of her. You’re trembling imperceptibly (adorable) – he thinks this might be the first time you’ve ignored one of your friends. Eager to please little thing, he supposes – the kind of person who wants to be liked and will do almost anything to keep it that way, with big doe eyes and a trembling lip and your chest thrust out unconsciously.
Oh, he will ruin you, and you’ll thank him for it afterwards.
“Sorry if I’m oversteppin’ my boundaries there,” he says to you, and you look at him with your eyes big and wide and wet your lips, his cock giving an answering throb. You breathe very softly;
“N-no, thank you, it’s . . . it’s nice to not have to deal with them, for once--”
Toji leans further into you, his arm not leaving your shoulders – close enough that his breath tickles the shell of your ear, and your brain short-circuits at a handsome older man leaning so close and intimately to you.
“You don’t wanna stay here, though, do ya?” His other hand is suddenly on your leg, calloused fingertips brushing the soft skin of your thigh. Your heart skips a beat, your body reacting – threads of heat sewing themselves into knots between your thighs. “You wanna split?”
His eyes do not stray to the clock behind the bar, but he estimates it’s been about eleven minutes. Longer than he was expecting, but – as you bite your lip and stand up, letting his fingertips drag dangerously close to the part of you between your legs, Toji decides it’s worth it.
His place is nothing special. For a man as well-paid as he is, you’d expect something a little classier, maybe – but for a man with the kind of profession Toji Fushiguro has, he doesn’t spend much time in it. He’s too busy travelling to care about it beyond anything other than a place to crash, eat, and bring home his conquests. And you don’t seem disgusted by it as he pushes you roughly into the room, arm locking around your waist, mouth dipping to taste you – so Toji doesn’t worry about it too much.
You’re still trembling against him, your entire body thrumming with energy that you’re not used to – but that all works to his advantage. It works to the advantage of directing you into his room, until your back hits the bed with a soft ‘whoomph’ of air and Toji is kneeling over you, your eyes big and wide and blown as they look up at him.
You’d been so easy to convince back here. You’d made a couple of quiet whispers about how you shouldn’t, the way that good girls like you do – but his fingers had cupped your cheek and his body had pressed against yours and he’d smiled that dangerous knife-edge smile and you’d been putty in his hands, trembling kneed and so very adaptable as you’d walked beside him with your breath unsteady in your chest at your own daring.
Now, though, with a man’s bed behind you and a man’s cock digging into your stomach where he has you caged underneath him, things are beginning to feel far more real. You take another shuddering breath, not meeting his eyes as you whisper;
“I—I haven’t--”
Oh, fuck. If you knew what those little words did to him – if you could have heard the monster roaring in his chest at how excited he was that he’d not only get to utterly ruin you, but to get to be the first one to do it . . . He’d let himself hope, based on your way of holding yourself all demure and prim, that you’d be a virgin, but to hear it from your own lips with your skin rapidly heating up under the confession.
“That’s alright, sweetheart,” Toji practically coos at you, as his big fingers go to your shirt, tugging it off with expert precision. “I ain’t gonna break you—”
(Well. Not in any way you aren’t going to beg for.)
Breath caught in your throat as your bra is unclipped, the lacy garment dropped onto the floor. His own shirt follows – you can barely stop yourself ogling him, the firm abdominal muscles, the scars across his pectorals. You can tell, based on how many scars he’s bearing, just how dangerous the man above you must be.
The one like a starburst is a bullet scar, you’re pretty sure. The one wrapping around his side is too big to be anything but a knife or a sword – this is a man involved in something dangerous, something shady – and even that isn’t enough to get you to ask him to stop.
Staring down at your newly exposed breasts, Toji can’t resist leaning in; sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, dragging his teeth across the sensitive bud, lapping at it until your back arches and you whimper so prettily that it goes straight through him and straight to his cock. The wet kisses trail back up to your neck, blunt teeth tugging at your skin, sucking quickly stinging bruise marks into the skin so that everybody will know what this cute little virgin was up to last night--
A rough tug to your earlobe makes you moan. A nip to your lower lip makes you practically mewl. And his rough fingertips pushing up your skirt to your waist, letting his fingers dig into your plush thighs so hard that there’s no way you won’t be marked with fingerprints tomorrow – that makes you whine.
“You like bein’ pushed around a little bit, cutie?” The pet name, again, has blood rushing to your face and heat rushing to between your legs. You’re suddenly so very aware of how slick you are, how your underwear is clinging to the folds of your sex. How much of that is his fingers and how much of it is his voice and how much of it is how exposed you are in front of him, you don’t know – but you bite your lip and avert your gaze, and this just seems to spur him on. Both of you know the answer: yes. Yes, you do like being pushed around a little bit--
“These are soaking wet,” he tells you, as the matching lacy underwear to your bra is peeled off of you. He readjusts himself, grabbing your thigh and pressing your knee against your chest so that he can move his hips between your two legs as well as get a proper look at what you’ve been hiding beneath the tiny skirt – he lets out a low whistle, those green eyes greedily drinking you in like you’re a painting hung in an art gallery. “Well, look at you. Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes?”
He sees how the compliment makes you squirm at the same time as it makes your cute little hole, exposed thanks to the stretch of your leg, flutter around nothing. He might break you if he doesn’t prepare you properly; you’re so small, and it’s been a real long time since he bedded a virgin--
One of his fingers drags through your slick with no preamble, brushing your fluttering hole, and the noise catches in your throat – halfway between a whimper and a soft sigh, a noise that does not serve to do anything but make him repeat the motion, gathering your glimmering arousal on the same thick digit. He brings it to his mouth, tongue darting out to taste you.
“Mm, you should taste yourself,” he says to you, eyes glinting. “You’re like honey, sweetheart--” Toji doesn’t wait for you to say yes or no. His finger pushes past your lips, so you’re forced to taste yourself on his fingertips, brushing over your tongue. His eyes focus very deeply on you, like you’re the only thing in his orbit worth paying attention to. “Why don’t you give my finger a suck, darlin’? You’ll want it as wet as you can get it--”
Not that you’re not plenty wet enough. But there’s something so endearing about the feel of your tongue hesitantly licking at him, the shine of your eyes. If he wasn’t hard enough to cut diamonds, he would have you suck his cock first, if only to see those pretty lips wrapped around his shaft and to hear you choke a little bit, to see your makeup go runny and messy and ruined--
“Atta girl,” he says, roughly, pulling his finger out (the trail of drool sends another of those throbs of heat through him). The finger drags over your slit again, parting the plump lips – and then, he’s pushing his finger inside you, your walls pulsing around him. You’re so fucking tight. He knows you weren’t lying about being a virgin – the gasp that dies in your throat, the hand that tangles in his bedsheets, the little lift of your hips to help him along – all of those are things that are entirely sensation responses, not in the least calculated, and Toji loves that.
The finger pumps in and out of you, helped along by your slick, until he can press another alongside it and scissor them gently, stretching out your channel in preparation for what you’re going to take in a matter of minutes. Your teeth keep digging into your bottom lip, as if you’re afraid to make too much of a noise – he chuckles as he brushes your swollen clit with his thumb.
“C’mon,” he growls, “don’t hold out on me. Lemme hear you--”
Oh, you’re so embarrassed – but you’re also, he can tell, the kind of girl who can’t resist an order. You let your mouth relax, drop open – and next time his thumb rubs firmly across your clit, the noise is caught only by the ceiling above you both. He makes some little noise of praise that you can’t fully discern, because now he’s started pulling forth your pleasure he doesn’t want to stop. Three fingers. His thumb, toying with your clit, rubbing firm circles with it as he feels your channel clench and quiver around his fingers. He rubs at the textured spot on your inner walls and you groan, your other hand gripping his forearm, your brow forming sweat. Your hips are circling, needy, in search of more stimulation.
“You gonna come for me, sweetheart?” Toji asks you, his voice like cigarettes and leather. “C’mon. Let me see-- let me feel your pretty cunt clench--”
Something about the dirty words pushes you over the edge and you tumble down a dark hole, fireworks exploding inside of you, stars bursting into being behind your eyelids as pleasure washes over you in great waves. You soak Toji’s fingers, your walls sucking him in deeper and deeper.
Your breath comes in great pants, the aftershocks of your orgasm still gently rippling through you even as Toji pulls his fingers out of you. You look up at the man as he adjusts himself with his other hand, as if in a haze – and as if in a haze, when he roughly pushes those three fingers back into your mouth, you suckle on them with your mind and thoughts all misty. All you can think about is him. That’s what he wanted, anyway – cute little demure virgin, cock drunk even without him fucking you properly – he breaks girls like you on the regular, but you might be one of his favourites.
He tugs down his pants enough to reveal his flushed cock, curving to lay against his stomach, hard and leaking precome from a reddened tip. Your eyes widen (he always loves that moment), as you realise why he took pains to prepare you with his fingers.
“Whaddya think?” He asks you, teasing, wrapping his fist around the shaft. Even his big hands around it do nothing to make it look smaller, and you barely realise that you’re staring until he slaps your thighs with it, streaking his own wetness all over you. “You’ll give a man a complex, sweetheart--”
“I-I don’t have much to compare it to,” you say, desperately, heated and needy even though you literally just came. You want him inside you. You never thought you’d be so easily broken down into wanting to be fucked, but here you are – something primal inside of you is awoken by the size of his cock and the glitter in his eyes and the sculpted muscle, and you want to be desecrated. “Y-you look big--”
He laughs at that. Yeah, you definitely don’t have much to compare it to if that’s your take-away. Still. It’s cute, how you’ve spread your legs a little wider, how you’re not hiding the fact you’re looking at him like he’s some kind of angel who’s finally granted you a taste of the celestial city.
“I feel big too,” he tells you, with a smirk that rattles you to your core. “Wanna find out?”
When you nod, he grins – those big hands take a hold of your thighs, pressing both of your knees to your chest this time. He takes a moment to enjoy you in this position – those wide eyes, the lewd splay of your legs revealing the glimpse of your cunt still tantalisingly shining with the remnants of your orgasm. You squirm under his hungry gaze, exposed – and that does nothing to quell the hunger that seems to be thrumming through Toji, with every clench and wriggle.
“Good,” he tells you, rubbing his cock through the mess you’ve made of yourself, making sure the head nudges your clit and he can see the way you shiver. “You’re bein’ such a good girl for me--”
He catches on your entrance and you let out a keen. With your knees pressed to your chest, you’re unable to get a grip on Toji’s shoulders, and you have to console yourself with fisting the bedsheets beneath you (rumpled even before you’d ended up there).
The position he’s got you in means that you feel every ridge of his cock, every vein, every throb – inch by inch, as he sheaths himself slowly inside you. He can’t help but watch as your jaw goes slack, as your eyes cloud with the feeling of him entering you – as tears bead in the corner of your eyes at the burn and stretch--
Oh, fuck, the tears. He wonders if you feel the way that his cock seems to harden at that, at how pretty you look all glassy-eyed and helpless and trying to take him. He’s maybe two thirds in and almost at the limit of forward motion, but you whimper, letting your head fall back--
“P-please,” you say, “I—I can take it--”
He laughs, low and dangerous. He leans in, brushes his lips over your sweat slicked forehead. His tone is syrupy sweet when he speaks, as he angles his hips just so that he sinks another aching inch into the sweet kiss of your tight cunt.
“Oh, I know you will, sweetheart,” he murmurs, sounding almost like a threat. His eyes flash downwards, to see how tightly you’re clinging to him – how big his cock looks, disappearing into your slick sex. How the glistening ring of your need coats him. Just a bit further – watching himself claim you is almost hypnotic.
He wants to see you on your hands and knees, watch his cock stretch you out that way. He wants to see you gag and choke and drool around his cock, wants to see your small hands wrap around him, wants to have you in every position until you’re so fucked silly you can barely move--
But for now, he hilts inside of you, his balls slapping against your slick skin. His face splits into a smile as his eyes travel back up, to the bulge in your stomach that he knows is from just how big his cock is, to your thighs trembling even with him keeping them prone against you. You’re so cute. The tears have spilled past the rim of your eyelids now, wetting your cheeks – they’re so maddeningly sexy, on your pretty face. He’s not going to last half as long as he wants to, he doesn’t think – not when you’ve been driving him to distraction since the moment he laid eyes on you.
He can barely remember he killed a man less than an hour ago.
That’s old news, unimportant compared to how your walls flutter around him as he pulls out. Unimportant compared to the arch of your back, the rock of your breasts, the great gasps of air.
He’s not a kind man, but he doesn’t go out of his way to be an asshole to his conquests – so he lets you get used to the rolling rhythm of his hips, slowly. He doesn’t piston his hips in and out of you, not at first. He lets the slow drag of his cock on your sensitive inner walls make you shiver, make you gasp and moan and whimper. And only after he’s earned the light hump of your hips against his, searching for the sensation yourself, does he let himself fuck you the way he wants to.
He wants to record the moan-squeak-whimper of surprise as he begins to pump his hips in earnest. It’s a noise he’s heard before, but coming from your pretty mouth it seems all the more potent. His hips jerk into you and out of you, the noise of skin slapping against skin very loud in the bedroom. The slick noises of his cock driving in and out of your tight cunt would be shaming if it didn’t feel so good, if you didn’t get a shock of want every time his body ground against your clit on the inner thrust.
You lose track of time, with the dangerous man you met at the bar bent over you. He mouths greedily at your lips, seeming to treasure every noise you make and swallow it down his throat like a sweet candy – he bites at your neck, at your throat, the grip on your thighs never faltering for a moment. You can do nothing but let yourself be folded in half, and let him fuck you like an animal.
That seems right. He’s rutting into you deep and hungrily, almost feral in his enjoyment of your body. He drops one of your legs suddenly, letting it hit the mattress, readjusting his hips so that one of his hands can dive between you and--
He’s playing with your clit again. The pads of his fingers are rough, and you wonder if he handles a gun like the one that gave him that starburst scar. You wonder how dangerous these fingers are, the ones that were buried inside you and are now coaxing your poor, swollen clit to another orgasm.
“Come on, baby girl,” he growls, pressing harder, making your thighs jump with tension. “Wanna feel you come with my cock buried in that pretty little cunt--”
You whimper, throwing your head to the side and letting a cry out into the pillow like a mewl. Toji would be mad that you’d stifled the cute little noise, if the sight of you submissively showing him your neck (one of your softest parts) hadn’t scratched an itch for dominance inside of him – and if the feel of your body clenching and pulsating around his cock wasn’t currently finally pushing him over the edge, making him judder his hips against you as he shoots rope after rope of his come directly inside of you.
Your shoulders are heaving with the effort of the orgasm that’s still ricocheting through you, your toes curling, your body clenching and soaking Toji’s cock with your orgasm. You don’t even realise he’s come inside of you until he pulls out slightly and you wince at the feel of that same come, his load far too thick and full to not have a bit of it trickling out of your stretched hole. Toji admires the look of it; darkened from his persistent thrusts, your syrupy slick mixing with the thick pearly white of his seed.
“Y-you came inside me,” you say, your voice half-clogged with the tears that are still glistening on your cheeks (a low pulse of heat in his groin. His refractory period has always been short – and with a cute little thing like you in his bed, who can blame him for wanting to fuck you again almost immediately?). “I—I don’t even know your name--”
Oh, shit. He’d quite forgotten. He knows yours from the girl in the bar (that already feels like a lifetime ago). He can hear the uncertainty in your voice, the kind of confusion that seems to say ‘good girls don’t do this, I would never do this, who is this stranger wearing my skin with a man’s come making their thighs sticky?’. It’s part of the process of breaking that Toji loves so much.)
“Sure did, darlin’,” he says, absent-mindedly scooping some of the come that’s oozed out of you and pressing it back inside. He wins a whimper for that, one that’s definitely not ‘stop’. “You’re still so sensitive.”
If you notice he doesn’t give you his name in response to your question, you don’t say anything. As his fingers gently circle your entrance again, as his hand brushes your thigh and you shiver, he sees that you unconsciously spread your legs even further apart for his explorations. Oh, you’re so cute.
One lone finger, gently grazing your clit, makes your hips jerk, your voice break in a way that’s all needy. You look at Toji through those tear-darkened eyes, your lips bitten to puffiness, your lipstick and mascara and eyeliner all messed up on your face from crying and biting your lip and drooling. Adorable. Girls like you always look best like this, their polish scuffed when Toji’s taken them to bed and stripped away all of their defences.
Girls like you, Toji always manages to get to move their hips against his ministrations. He always manages to have them gasp, whimper, break--
You’re not the first one in his bed, and you probably won’t be the last. But as he grins at you and asks;
“Well, sweetheart. I’ll give you a choice. Y’wanna take a shower and I’ll call you a cab or somethin’ and you can head off home? Or,” he drops his voice low, drags his eyes over your prone form, brushes his lips over your stomach. They flutter against the soft skin, his breath a hot wash that makes goose flesh prickle all over you. “Y’wanna spend the night?”
And you bite your lip before nodding, nervously running your hand through his hair, your body near trembling with need--
Well. As he asks that and you answer, he really does think you might be his favourite one ever.
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