#didn't pan out so well
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“I can’t offer much in the way of entertainment”
> Are you sure about that?
#ffxiv#Estinien#Estinien Wyrmblood#Estinien Varlineau#6.4#6.4 spoilers#when I tell you I lost me mind#I'M STILL REELING#Thank you stay at home Estinien#thank you dev team#good GODD#they took me out at the knees 2 cutscenes in#I thought we were gonna get him failing to eat the curry#I was NOT prepared for this#I was gonna add the Zero pov pan shot but the lighting was so different it didn't go well with the others#Nini is all :)c until Zero asks if they should all be disrobing then she is combusting on the spot#his lil pose when he gets up... cute 😭#anyway I am like shocked I haven't seen gifs of this yet so I make my own food#edits: mine
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Vulcans do the chirrup thing. Luring prey Instinct. And yet...It's mostly used for romance. Get Over Here - I'm Gonna GET You. [Patreon | Commissions]
#Tuvok#Neelix#Tuvix#Tuvok/Neelix#bee doodles#Vulcan urge to bite your lover [embarrassing.] <- this is like baby talk to a Human. It is...lovie-dovie in a cringe way.#but sometimes when you're deeply in love you gotta ask 'aww are you eepy seepy?' or [if you're Vulcan] start nipping at each other#Tuvok: -chirring- / T'Pel: -lured over and begins chirring as well- <- they will start cuddling and biting#I'm thinking about how Vulcans have that 'attend me' gesture. I think it'd be cute if they had more things like that.#'Get over here. Come over to me.' and having that obeyed is sweet and affectionate to Vulcans.#<- Not necessarily romantic either. Family units will do this too#star trek#st voyager#Vulcans love sticking together its their new favorite thing after nuclear war didn't pan out#Tuvok may not feel lovie dovie towards Neelix but he still wants to bite him. That's something. <- Another Vulcan Thing.#Secret Vulcan Instinct/Feeling. 'You are SO irritating. Get OVER here.' and then the biting
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sorry i disappeared i was mentally ill. still am but better.
got top surgery! recovering. lots going on
feelings are rough. emotional regulation is rough. but i'm still here
#bun speaks#ngl emotionally thrashed atm bc i just went through a rough situation but the person in question and i are good. something didn't pan out#also helping someone with a dicey sitch and that's been rough#my recovery for top surgery has been rough as well and painful#so i'm having a rough one. the washer and dryer are broken so my banages are having to be cleaned by hand and im dealin with bad stitches#the facility i got surgery from is 5 hours away so i need to get an appointment soon. it's just a lot at once!!#vent#update
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Thinking about Karamatsu/Nozomi whole looking through some web weavings, and if I ever write something for them (currently in the phase of trying to come up with key events and organise them chronologically so it makes sense, thematically) I think I'd like this to be one of the take aways
In the event of a bad ending (dunno if I'm strong enough for that though 🫠 SHE CAN CHANGE HIM WITHOUT DYING im better than that), I hope that Karamatsu still finds it in himself to stop being so passive about his life. Like,
To stop waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect answer to dawn on him, and instead take life by reins and... Just start being an active participant in his own life. To embrace self-determination and the risk of committing to something that may not pan out but still forces you to take conscious and mindful action every day.
#nozomi takahashi#karamatsu#karanozo#thinking about what the sextuplets (say they) want out of life vs. what they do to achieve it vs. whats holding them back#you have cybermatsu who are the most driven/ambitious but where one is held back by anxiety/the delusion that thinking about being responsi#is the same as actually being responsible (i mean. i get it lol) the other one is held back by trying to cheat the system bcs he thinks he'#too smart for hardwork + the apprehension that if he earns something it may be disrupted by his family dynamic which is HEARTBREAKING#then parka who dont show much ambition and i think they embrace the mindset of not wanting more than they currently have#whilst ignoring the discomfort this creates. and i like to think Osomatsu is stressed by the knowledge that as the eldest he SHOULD be#striving for more no matter how much change scares him (sick dad skit + nyachan skit) whils Ichimatsu just has such a low image of himself#he probably thinks back to how hard he had to try I'm HS and gets discourage yet also ignores the successes he's had#(hc but i like to think everyone thought he and choro would be the most well adapted and traditionally functional members of society but it#didn't pan out. in Choro's case because he wasn't as good as he thought he was and in Ichimatsu's because realising that he'd have to mask#forever kept him from trying)#and then. kinniku. and I'm thinking how they're the two with the most obvious passions (the arts + sports) and how they're visibly#skilled (Kara) and talented (Jyushi) and Karamatsu even mentions in S1 that he tried to become an actor but gave up and Jyushi says he's#never actually played an official baseball match prior to the S1 finale and I go insane thinking that they also tried in their own way to#pursue less traditional passions but they were always held back until they allowed the passions to become an scape and a distraction#idk why i wrote all of this it's not actually that related to the post. like i would try to explore that hc in a fic but???#something possessed me lol. but it's written so y'all take it. ANYWAYS#rambles
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hey uh hot take here but if your hc is that a canonically pansexual/bisexual character is actually gay, even when the creator explicitly says otherwise, your opinion is wrong. sorry i don't make the rules
#i have HAD IT let me tell you#yes this is about blitzø#“oh but we only see him have romantic feelings for men”#1. well we only saw two of his relationships on screen so yeah there's an approximately 25% chance of that happening#2. his female ex is a recurring character and just bc they hate each other now doesn't mean they didn't have a connection when they dated#3. being bi/pan is not 'less queer' than being gay/lesbian and does not take away from your precious little m/m ship at all#4. it costs you NOTHING to just. not rewrite pansexuality out of the story for your own comfort#5. why does it bother you that a character is bi/pan? ask yourself that please#funnily enough i've never seen anyone try to argue that moxxie isn't bi but he's married to a woman#apparently when it's a hetero-presenting relationship being bi is fine bc it's like. a character trait#but when it's a queer-presenting relationship it can't possibly be true#don't mind me i'm just steamed atm#fr though having your headcanons is totally cool but i hate how much i see this one argued SO PASSIONATELY#like. just let bi/pan people have something. pls. it costs you nothing#anyway back to bed#bagelthoughts
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The Forgotten Harpy [Img ID below]
Meet Lustre. A harpy with problems from ears to claws, so much so that her wrongs cannot be compartmentalized into a single piece of her. Skilled with magic but not allowed to use it or leave Harpy home, others do their best to keep her name out of their mouths.
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ [ SITE ] Merch Kofi Zines Patreon
[ img id: Lustre is a black and dark brown harpy, shaped like a microraptor with a round snout and tall ears. These harpies have 4 regular limbs and 2 weaker wings hanging off their lower back. Her neck is fluffy and accented with cream stripes. The first image is her in a bored position, playing with magic on her claw tips. The second she’s standing still, wearing a cropped black jacket with puffy sleeves, a cream body suit and finally some lighter brown pants that hang just beneath her hips. Text reads “is it just me, or are you beginning to lose your lustre’ ‘she/any’ ]
#art tag#lustre#tiger crawl home#this is me just stealing my interpretation of hollyleaf btw she's a harpy now#i want to note that lustre's outfit is very punk for harpies#they hate exposed fronts and the cream body suit matching her feathers is especially racey / nude appearing#she's also just unusually dark for a harpy#i like to think most of them have some specific form of sun bleaching going on that keeps their feathers quite light or reddy#but well. she's kind of locked away from others and the sun so it didn't pan out
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lines in books that made me scream
#well im on the bus so i didn't scream but i gasped out loud hgkshfkshfj PETRA PAN IS CRAZYYYYY#tfw the teacher you're in a toxic relationship with bc of mommy issues calls you petra pan. you would never hear from me again!#this is an education in malice btw
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ugh fine i GUESS i'm not immune to pan
#evan speaks#zukoandtheoc plays stray gods#stray gods#pan stray gods#least favorite of the love interests so far but he's fun#anyway i didn't pay attention the first time and i skipped the credits the second time#but having listened to the end credits music on spotify a bunch i'm pretty sure it's based on romance choice?#i can pick out the notes of here for the ride and you and i in end credits green and red respectively#i dont know let's have this dance well enough to recognize it though#and haven't heard freddies song yet
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people who still make Joey the ink demon despite canon steering far away from that being the case this is for you I am sending u kisses XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3
People who make Joey well-meaning, sympathetic, a lighter shade of morally grey than canon I am also sending u lots of love <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3!!
And people who generally steer wildly from the direction Bendy takes with its characters and has fun with it I hope to see more from all of ur aus and rewrites!!
#ramblez#batim#batdr#this is not me saying aus that don't do this r bad blah blah I just personally have a super soft spot for Joey being the ink demon#since I really like the idea storywise the symbolism of Joey becoming the ultimate monster of this story#joeys who also take a very sympathetic role who are more morally grey than canon also hold a special place in my heart#joeys who think what theyre doing is right not just for them but for their staff who genuinely care abt them who love them mwah#I just love to see very unique takes on these characters I kinda miss when it was only like chapter 2 so everyone had this wildly#different but very unique and fun takes on where we thought the story would head hell for a while we didn't know if Joey was evil or not#thats what spawned Encore it was originally just a collection of theories I thought would come true#esp since I dont think bendy is a particularly well written story its fun to see the fandom have such fun wild ideas on where to take#the concepts and idea presented in bendy that never really panned out into anything interesting or were discarded or retconned#yknow? I miss the days where the aus were wildly out of sync with the actual story when all we had was a few names a few tapes#and we all went wild making our versions of the story and characters and then got so attached to them we doubled down#when canon didnt deliver on em#umm oops this is long have a great new year folks! Get wild get weird with ur bendy aus and rewrites#lets have fun this year and take canon as optional bc lets face it Bendy isn't great but man is it fun and I care abt that way more than#the quality of the story tbh#it had great ideas and executed them uh badly! But idc bc I can stir those great ideas in my head all day and see others do the same <3#anyways yeah thats it love ya guys have a great 2024 <3
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got myself feeling some kind of way about the transience of human connection but i know it's just because i haven't eaten dinner
#well it's not all that. but that's a big part of it#my roommate is doing her whole new adventurous eating thing and was cooking for SOOOO long after i got home from work#i was really shaky but i'm not gonna try to cook around her there were one billion pots and pans out#so i took a shower instead and that didn't help i'll tell u what#chatpost#i'm going to go make a quesadilla now though#i'm so sad. o well
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i've got another job interview fuck yeahhhh
#i am going to over-prepare to a mentally ill degree. btw.#i applied a month ago so even if this job doesn't pan out. maybe one of the 100 other jobs i haven't heard from yet will. lol.#so many companies were making fast decisions so i didn't expect to hear back from a job i applied to in march???#maybe this means i can cool it with the applications and return to only applying to positions i'm actually interested in lol#i'm definitely interested in this job tho. it's health related + it pays well + it's in a cool location#also lmao i literally applied to this company two years ago. for a slightly more junior position. and was rejected#well well well how the turn tables#m.txt
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I guess there's poetry to Lucilius being this desirable while also being the most aroace person to ever exist (in my HC anyway. Just like Lucifer is the most gay and Belial is the most bi. You understand)
Like. It does not benefit.him. all these people drooling over him and he just wants to dissect people in peace. Who are all these people in his dms. Leave him alone
GOD yeah.
Like i definitely fully read Lucilius as AroAce but the fact he's the most desired man of the franchise he's in really just doesn't help for that. He's so AroAce that the one person who loves him the most is the most Hyper-sexual Hyper-romantic person of the whole skies. Poor man.
Like i do feel bad for him!!! Mofo just want to be left alone and do his experiments in peace!! bodies should just be for science!!! why the fuck do you want to insert a dick in a body when you can insert a scalpel!!!
it's hysterical. It's poetic in a sense of just how much of this saga is built on looking for the love of an absent God and how much Lucilius himself stands as this unloving figure in general.
But it's a trip. I do feel bad for Lucilius in this situation like come on. Let a man just rest. and commit his own type of atrocities. god forbid an aroace do anything.
#ichareply#ichafantalks gbf#anonymous#and yeah agreed i really just read Lucilius as AroAce in general#(but just for the joke/for their own characters i do think he might have tried some stuff with Bubs or Belial)#(but it didn't work out - it would only be things to blow up some steam or for research but in the end nothing he thinks is that interestin#(like i don't think he's mad repulsed but i don't think he cares either way outside of its scientific values in general)#(and even there it's a major IF in order mostly to fuck with Bubs and Belial's own characterization as ppl down bad for Lucilius)#but yeah else i do read Belial as just. pan/bi. anything goes. he's just in love with One Man but honestly everything is on the table#literally even if you want it#he's just loyal romantically speaking#and Lucifer to me is just so commited to Sandalphon i can't imagine him attracted to anyone else#is he gay? is he demisexual/romantic only for Sandy? idk but he certainly isn't straight. Same but inversed for Sandy honestly.#Bubs to me strike also as a bi guy but in a very 'well yeah i need to be on top of everyone at all time'#so yaknow. superiority complex and all playing in it#then we have Gabriel as a full lesbian and for the rest the HCs are up in the air for me#but it's what i believe#oh and obviously Lucio is pan but the man doesn't even believe in gender to start with#so that's also one thing to consider yaknow
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today i had a dream about being back at school and being bullied wtf
#my brain literally went like 'we haven't been bullied in quite a while huh'#also lady gaga was there? as herself#she was my friend there but also because of the bullying from other people i thought she is only hanging out with me ironically#but it was so surreal because she kept telling me about how she read pan tadeusz and didn't understand it hhh#oh yeah the famous american singer lady gaga. well into her 30s#telling me (in english) about a polish classic that she's read to graduate from a polish middle school#asdfadsfdsf#but her presence didn't really make up for the absolute stress caused by bullying that i haven't felt in years#it felt so real wtf
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...
#been thinking about trying my hand at rolyplaying again#i never really got my foot in the door woth any community previously so a part of me wonders why i should even bother#since it didn't really pan out well before#but i dunno#shit looks kind of fun?#so maybe I'll see if i ever get past the creation state of it#i hate how my phone refuses to autocorrect my typings in tags#ffs i meant to type 'roleplay' in the beginning and now it'd be a real pain to fix it
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God I love cast iron
#learning to cook well in my cast iron pans feels sooo satisfying#like tonight I made an omelet and it didn't stick and it came out so well#and even the drying and oiling after I washed it was just like yay I'm taking care of my wonderful pan#i also love that I never have to worry about using metal in it#cast iron is Good it feels good to use it's good for you it will last forever#i have my eye on this big pan of my dad's I'm always just like '... one day...'#bf gave me a cast iron dutch oven for my bday and it's tempting me to deep fry which I never ever do
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who to call to clean up after an "accident" than your sick and twisted military boyfriend? :D (dark!ghost x dark!fem!reader, 18+)
cw: dark!reader, dark!simon, horror movie vibes, graphic depictions of character death/murder, unhealthy relationship dynamics, one slip of daddy, smut, unprotected piv, simon "spit in my mouth" riley, reader and simon are kinda psycho :D
you've been so nice to her. really nice. you've let it slide off your back whenever she doesn't do her dishes. you pretend you don't notice when she borrows your shoes from the hallway and wears them out to dinner. you hide yourself in your room when she has her awful, loud guests over, and you have never once said anything about how she takes her sweet time in the shared bathroom in the morning and makes you late 2 days a week for work.
but this? this?
she needs to keep simon's name out of her fucking mouth.
"excuse me?" you say finally. your roommate is shrugging on her jacket to leave, her purse in her hand as she types on her phone, using it as a way to not make eye-contact with you. her long nails are tapping against the screen, and it feels like fucking drip water torture. "what the fuck did you just say?"
she sighs, irritated, rolling her eyes as she keeps tapping away at the screen.
"you're so dramatic, it was just a fucking joke."
"you know, i let a lot of things slide," you laugh, humorlessly, and you cross your arms over your chest as you follow her into the kitchen. "but you need to be careful what you say."
"i don't do anything except call it like i see it," she says, tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking at herself in the reflection of the mirror hanging on the wall. "you need to just...go out more. man like that isn't gonna stay for long if you don't give him something to go for. he's bored, you know. when you have him over here all the time. and i've totally caught him peeking at me after i shower, y'know."
"well why the fuck are you wearing nothing but a towel when my boyfriend is here, anyways?" you snap. "he's trying to be polite, he's a guest. what if i wore a fucking towel when you had your guy friends over?"
she laughs, poking at the edge of her lip to fix the gloss of her pout. "trust me, honey, no one's looking at you in a towel."
you step back, a little shocked. she rolls her eyes again, sighing.
"i didn't--"
"are you kidding me?" you retort. "you're the worst fucking roommate in the world, and i put up with all your bullshit, and now you're going to go so low as to insult the way i look just to make yourself feel better?" you make your way around the kitchen island. "you don't wash your fucking dishes, you steal my fucking clothes, you're always late on your rent so i have to spot you--"
"you know what, just because i'm fucking happy, and you're not, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me!"
"i am happy, you sorry bitch!" you cry. "i'm so fucking happy, you're the only thing in my life making me constantly miserable!"
"oh, shove it up your ass, you ungrateful little shit!" she snaps. "you're just so fucking insecure and hate me so badly just because simon would rather fuck a girl like me than have to spend another minute with--"
the crack of cast iron against her head shuts her up. it dents the side of her head easily, and her face smacks against the countertop before she crumples to the floor.
it's so fast. one minute, she's yapping, high-pitched voice straining your ears. the next, she's silent.
and she won't say simon's fucking name again.
you watch with bated breath as she folds into herself, her head hitting the hardwood last, a slow puddle of blood beginning to grow under the tendrils of her hair as your eyes move to the heavy pan you're still holding in your hands.
fuck, that's a lot of blood. god, you thought she was just full of fucking air.
you drop the pan once the rush of anger leaves your chest. it thunks onto the ground, and your hands shake as you see the specks of blood that are on the back of your hands, sprinkled over the shirt you wear. it stains your bare legs, even your toes, and you don't even want to look at the spray of it along the counters.
you should be crying, you think. you should feel bad. you're trembling a little, but you think it's just the adrenaline beginning to fade and not the guilt you know is supposed to be racking your insides.
you turn your eyes back to her. her eyes are dull. she doesn't move. it's so quiet now, utterly silent, and you take a deep breath as you take in the silence that you've craved for a long while now. you make your way quietly out of the kitchen, stepping over her body before going for your phone that sits on the coffee table in front of the couch.
you keep your eyes on her as you put your phone to your ear. it rings, and you tilt your head to the side as the blood begins to spiderweb under the kitchen table.
"'ello?"
you blink, looking towards the door. you clutch your phone a little tighter to your ear.
"simon?" you say softly. "a-are...are you busy?"
he hums lowly, chuckling, "no' at the moment, swee'eart, why?" he asks. "mmm...missed y'r voice..." you close your eyes as you hear the buckle of his belt. you try not to picture your giant of a boyfriend leaning back on his worn couch and shoving his jeans low enough to fuck his fist. "tolk t'me, luv...tell me 'ow much ya miss daddy."
you clear your throat gently, willing yourself to ignore the soft squelch of what you know is his hand around his cock, to not let it distract you from what's more important. "uhm...i liked the flowers you gave me, simon. t-they were beautiful."
the sounds on the other end of the phone quiet. you hear shuffling, and then a few moments later, the clink of his car keys.
"tha' right, baby?" he asks, and you close your eyes as you hear the front door of his flat opening. he's already on the way, already coming.
"yeah," you sniffle. "really nice sunflowers."
a yellow flower. he huffs on the other end of the phone, breathing a little easier.
"good girl," he murmurs, and then the line cuts. you set the phone down, making your way back to the kitchen and taking a seat at the table. you watch as the blood continues to curl over the floor. you make no attempt to help her; you just swing your feet under you as you look at her spoiled outfit, just grateful she isn't wearing your shoes or one of your jackets. you would hate to have to throw something out that she got all dirty.
there's a curt knock at the door ten minutes later, and then it opens. simon shuts the door behind him, cracking his neck by moving it from side to side before narrowing his eyes at you. you bite your lip, blinking, forgetting suddenly why he is here when he looks so fucking good. he's got a sweatshirt on under his windbreaker, worn jeans tucked into his boots; you like these jeans, his ass looks incredible in them.
"wot happened?" he asks. you stand, remembering your place. your lip starts trembling, and simon's eyes soften just a little. he's wearing his balaclava, hood up over his head and jacket zipped up, shadowing any true expression on his face. his gait sounds heavy as he lets his hands out of his pockets, coming towards you. when he steps into the kitchen, his eyes dart towards your roommate who's still on the floor, laid out unnaturally just by the oven.
he lets out a low breath, clicking his tongue under the mask. you hold your breath as you wait for his reaction.
"bloody hell," simon mutters, reaching up and throwing his hood off. you wring your hands together nervously, your eyes beginning to sting with tears. you brace for the accusations, for the inevitable terror of facing the music. simon is military, for fuck's sake, why the fuck did you think turning to him would be a good idea?
"i...i-i--" you start, looking up at him, and he holds up a hand, taking the side of your face into his palm before smoothing a gloved thumb over your bottom lip. you blink in confusion, not understanding.
"'s olright, baby," he shushes you, shaking his head. "don't cry."
"simon, i--" you sputter a little, gripping his wrist gently. "i just--i couldn't do it anymore, she just--"
he pities you. maybe you can explain. maybe if you tell him a warped story of what happened, he can help you. he must know someone. he must have important friends, he must--
he uses his free hand to move his mask up over his nose, and you lean into him when he bends, kissing you warmly. your eyes flutter shut, and you shuffle closer as he kisses you sloppy, kisses you hot. you mewl as he slips his tongue into your mouth, licking over your teeth and humming low as he pulls away. his eyes are flashing.
mmm. love.
"hmm..." simon licks his lips, smiling a little. he looks over you, almost pensive, his eyes scanning over your face before he settles back on your eyes. it's tender, the way he looks at you. romantic. "let's get this off of ya."
he reaches for the large shirt you are wearing, pulling it up and over your head. he crumples it into a ball before tossing it on top of your roommate, nodding his head behind you.
it's then that you realize simon isn't going to do the noble thing. he isn't going to call the police. he isn't going to turn you in, make you explain, he seems uninterested in knowing what really happened. no, he already knows what happened. but that's not important.
his pretty, perfect girl got into a little trouble. and he's going to make this go away.
"go on, luv. take a nice shower, yeah?" simon turns you around and pushes on your back gently. you suck in a shaky breath when he fondles your ass, pulling on your panties gently. "mmm...take these off, too."
you slip your panties down your legs, handing them to him.
"they have blood on them, too?" you ask, wiping your face, and he chuckles lowly.
"nah," he shrugs, stuffing them into his back pocket after taking a little sniff. "these are just for me."
jesus fucking christ, there's really something wrong with him. there's something really, really wrong with him.
and something wrong with me.
simon looks you up and down, his eyes catching on your naked body for just a few moments before he nods his head again.
"go on," he tells you. "before i get distracted." you pause for a moment, tilting your head back a little as he reaches out and cups one of your breasts in his big hand. you bite your lip, swallowing back a heavy breath as he flicks his thumb over your nipple gently. "greatest tits 've ever seen," he mumbles, scrunching his nose under the mask before he lets you go. "yeah, go on, baby." it takes everything in you to walk away when you see him reach down with that same hand and grip his bulge through his jeans, adjusting himself as he turns back to the mess in the kitchen.
when you shut the bathroom door behind you, you hear shuffling in the living room. the coffee table scraping. the couch being pushed. the rustle of the rug you have there. he grunts a little, and you hear his boots track from the kitchen back to the living room.
you turn the water on hot. you decide to take a bath, not looking at yourself in the mirror as you sink into the tub and plug the drain. you make the water scalding, and it soothes your sore muscles as you rest your cheek against the edge of the tub and stare at the door.
you're not sure how long you stay there. long enough for the water to nearly slosh over the edge of the tub and for simon to swing the bathroom door open, seemingly done with his...tasks.
he's taken his sweatshirt off. just a black t-shirt tucked into jeans, and there's a slight pant to his breaths that tell you he's exerted some energy. you notice he has his gloves still on, but before he touches you, he takes them off and tosses them into the sink.
"move over," simon mutters, starting to undress. you look up at him as he undoes the button on his pants, shucking his shirt off and into the corner before dropping his jeans. the water swishes as you sit up, and you swallow hard when simon kicks his boots and pants off, his cock hanging heavy as his mask is the last to hit the floor.
fuck, he's so pretty.
he has no regard for his size. he simply steps into the tub behind you, taking a seat. he looks comically large in your small bathtub, and you squeak a little as the water spills over the edge of the bath and wets the floor. he hums as he feels the hot water on his back. you don't say anything as his hands start to turn the water a little red. you just look up, away, at him.
you shuffle between his legs, tucking yourself into his space. you can't help but look him up and down, admiring his naked physique. he's just hot. big arms, thick thighs, sunburnt tattoos and scars cutting across his face. he hasn't shaved today, so there's some stubble along his jaw, but your eyes focus a little too much on his girthy length, heavy as it sits on his stomach and leaks a little there. his fat stomach, all solid and pudgy, such a nice place for you to rest your hands.
"you did good today," simon says finally. you look at him, and he tilts his head to the side. his approval makes your chest warm. "callin' me like tha'. wot a good girl you are."
keeping quiet on the phone is what he doesn't add out loud.
you purse your lips, trying not to keen at the praise, but it's hard not to when he reaches over and slides his hand over your shoulder, thumbing at your jaw.
"i-i didn't...didn't know what to do," you admit, and he clicks his tongue, shaking his head. you didn't know what to do, so you called him. level-headed enough to not do something rash and call someone else, no, you called him.
"mmm...tha's wot i'm 'ere for, luv," simon soothes you. "made such a little mess..."
you close your eyes. it's sick. deranged. fuck, it feels nice.
why don't i feel anything?
"i know. i'm sorry."
"nothin' ta be sorry about."
you slump into his arms, resting your cheek on his solid chest. you can feel his cock pulsing against your tummy, and you adjust yourself in the water, straddling him as you rest your chin on his pecs and look up at him through watery eyes.
you aren't sad. no. not sad at all. simon has shown you what he will do for the you. the lengths he will go. what he'll forgive just to take care of you. he's so capable, so understanding.
sick. twisted. mine.
"then i'll just say thank you," you mumble, grinding your hips slowly. simon hums, a wicked smile coming over his scarred face. he licks over his bottom lip, big hands gripping you by the fat of your hips as you grip the edges of the tub for stability. "say thank you to my big, strong man for taking such good care of me..."
he chuckles, his eyes lowering, watching your tits sway as you fit your pussy over his length and grind down on him.
"tha' so, baby?"
you nod.
"mhm," you whine. "how can i thank you, my big boy? how can i show you how grateful i am for cleaning up after me, hmm?" you bend at the waist, kissing him wet and warm, and he hisses as you suck his tongue into your mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, and normally you would curse him for it, but right now it tastes so much like him, and you lick around his teeth trying to taste more of that sweet nicotine.
"fuck--such a naughty little girl..." he snickers, reaching down. you sigh when he slides his big palms over your ass, forcing you to grind slower, the tip of his cock sliding through your folds leisurely. you grip the edges of the tub tighter, pressing down to give you more leverage to grind down harder. "make such a mess, oll the time..." you gasp when he presses into you just enough, the tip breaching your entrance and forcing you to squeeze around him, your cunt trying to suck him in. "olways needin' me ta pick up afta ya..."
you giggle, sliding your hands up his chest, gripping his shoulders for leverage as you sink down onto him. he grits his teeth as you do, his eyes focused on the way his cock disappears inch by inch until you're seated down in his lap, his length kissing deep and twitching excitedly. he always feels like a teenager again whenever you fuck--like you're the first pretty girl to ever wet his cock.
you cup his cheeks finally, smoothing your thumbs under his eyes as you bring his gaze up to meet yours. you swallow hard, looking down at him.
"i-i love you, simon," you breathe. he stills underneath you, his jaw clenching as he frowns just a little. you come a little closer, nuzzling your nose against his, your thumb falling to trace the outline of his torn lip. "i should've said it a long time ago...i-i..."
"heart's beatin' out y'r chest, luv," he mutters lowly. "'s olright...'m not goin' anywhere."
it's so disgusting. you should be fucking ill. you should be scrambling to the toilet, your breakfast halfway up your throat. you should be crying, emotional, begging simon to tell the cops that it was all your fault, because it is. he should've come here and made you do the level-headed thing and confess your terrible crime.
he shouldn't be here, sitting underneath you in your tub, cock-deep inside of you after helping you commit murder and then fucking clean it all up.
"what did i do?" you gasp, sitting up. you move to get out of the tub, but simon growls, putting two firm hands on your ass and shoving you back down on his cock, making you cry. "w-what did i do? s-simon, why don't i feel bad, why am i not sorry--?!"
simon tsks, feigning comfort. he juts his bottom lip out into a pout, mocking your little cries.
"oh, luvvie, don't start cryin' now," he chuckles. "don't start pretending like y'care."
uhm...
"simon--"
"no one likes a liar."
you're still trying to pretend, and he knows this. you're still trying to act how someone normally would react. someone normal, someone who thinks rationally, would never have picked up the pan in the first place. and even if they had, they would've scrambled, cried, picked up the phone and confessed, called an ambulance as they tried to get her to start breathing again, put both hands on her chest and tried to get her wake up.
but you didn't. you watched, unnervingly calm, as she stained the hardwood with her blood. you watched as her eyes glassed over, lifeless, and you watched as her insides began to paint the floor in abstract shapes as you gave it time to spread. and not once during that time, or waiting for simon, did you think to help her.
you didn't want to help her. and you certainly didn't think she deserved to get back up. maybe she hadn't done anything quite harsh enough to deserve death in someone else's eyes. annoying, overbearing, rude.
but it's hard to feel bad when she talked about simon. when she called him by his name. when you've seen her let her towel slip when he's in her vicinity, trying to coax him into her room when you're looking away.
you should've taken one of the throwing knives that simon hides in his boot and thrown it at her then, just for that.
"we're cut from the same bloody cloth, baby," simon says, almost accusingly. you grip the edges of the tub, trying to stand again, but he cants his hips and fucks up into you, drawing a frenzied moan out of you. you reach for his shoulders as he does it again, his tongue darting out before he licks a fat stripe over your pebbled nipple. "'s olright. 's okay, luv. don't worry. don't hafta get y'r hands dirty, swee'eart, i've got it."
"but simon," you whine, but all he does is shake his head. you don't have to put on this morality act for him. you don't have to pretend that you are sorry for something that you had every right to do, you don't have to explain to him why you aren't feeling the way you should be feeling.
simon doesn't care about how you should feel. he only cares about how you actually feel.
"she was in y'r way," simon grunts. "always bein' a bloody brat." he fists your hair and brings your mouth to his, groaning as you tighten around his cock. "'ow many times did she fuck ya over, baby, hmm? 'ow many times did she steal y'r fuckin' things, come outta the loo wearin' nothin' but her fuckin' knickers, yeah? 'ow many times?"
you kiss him, frantic, digging your nails into his pecs and dragging them angrily.
yeah. fuck her. fuck what she did to me, fuck the way she behaved, fuck her stupid face and her stupid attitude and her stupid little games.
"called ya names..." he's hitting your sweet spot now, making you cry from pleasure. your pussy feels so hot, squeezing him because you know he's right, and the way he fucks this time makes you think he really knows what you are and knows exactly how to get you there. "wot a fuckin' twat. deserved every bit o' it, baby."
you meet his eyes, dark and cruel. he's still moving, still holding onto your hips and drawing out little whines, but it's different suddenly, it's more. you nod, understanding.
simon is terrible. no good. his head isn't in the right place, maybe it never has been. you wonder, briefly, if this is what he does when he's at work, if these are the things that he's used to. maybe simon has been in service too long--maybe he doesn't understand that you aren't at war here, that you can't just kill and clean up, that you aren't in the field.
"she deserved it," you whimper, and he grins, all teeth, all mean.
"tha's it."
"she was such a bitch."
"fuckin' right."
"she got what was coming for her."
"nnghhh--fuck, baby, gonna make me fuckin' cum, tolkin' like tha'," he hisses. you practically smack him as you grab onto his scarred face, gritting your teeth as you glare down at him. his lips part, and you spit in his mouth as he fucks up into you, thighs hitting your ass with a wet smack that makes your head spin.
"and i'll get rid of the next bitch that so much as looks your way, simon."
the kiss is searing. hot, blinding, white noise fills your ears as he cums with you, stuffing you full as he cums hard, a pained groan leaving him as he collapses against the porcelain tub with a harsh thud. you follow him, chasing after him, kissing him between heavy breaths as you don't make any effort to move off of him. when simon opens his eyes, he can't help but smile.
he's never seen his reflection without a mirror.
#awwwwwwwwww thanks for taking care of me pookie#thanks for indulging my terrible mind and telling me its okay ;)#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon thoughts#dark!ghost#dark!simon
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