#did this mostly whilst watching death note with a friend

[f-athr]

help i can’t stop giving men slutty little waists

[thetriumphantpanda]

The Way You Miss Me | Joel Miller (Chapter Five)

You put your plan into action - in order to get closer to Joel, you have to get close to Ellie. The home truths that come out as a result aren't at all what you wanted though.

Pairing | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Word Count | 3K

Warnings | Angst and pining, mentions of death and origin story of readers scar which involves a knife but nothing else.

Authors Note | This one flew out of my fingers like lightening so I hope you enjoy it! Would love to hear your thoughts so leave comments, like or reblog or pop on over to my ask box if you fancy it! Also not me deadass writing in one of my favourite bands, shoutout to any of my fellow elder emo's out there. The shame of the outbreak is that these guys never got to jam along to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge or Misery Business..... This fic is actually loosely based on an All Time Low song from their new album, if you wanted to listen you can find it here - listen and watch out for nods to the lyrics in the dialogue here!

It had been a week since the awkward encounter at the bar with Joel and you were frustrated that you hadn’t had the opportunity to speak with him. You’d been watching him from afar, he’d been in the stables one day getting himself assigned a horse so that he could start heading out on patrol. He’d spent an evening at The Tipsy Bison with Tommy, the only acknowledgement was a swift nod of his head towards the table you shared with your father but that was only because Tommy had hit him on the arm, mouthing for him not to be rude. You’d watched him walk down the street past your home a few times, watching from the window and wishing it had been your home he was coming to. The one constant in all of it? The little girl. Ellie was attached to him like a barnacle to a whale, he was never without her, and you’d bet your bottom dollar (If you had any) that the key to getting closer to Joel was that little girl. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked Tommy one day whilst you were helping him repair some fencing around the outer wall. 

“You just did, but sure thing Sunshine.” 

“Do you know much about Ellie?” Your tried to keep your tone as nonchalant as possible, but the grin on Tommy’s face suggested he knew exactly where you were going with this. 

“I’ve gotta be honest Joel’s kept her to himself mostly,” He shrugged, picking up his hammer to beat some nails into the wood you were holding still for him, “She’s a firecracker, swears like a sailor and is the only person I’ve ever seen make Joel laugh since the world went to shit.” 

You hummed in understanding, “You know about the things she likes to do?” 

“I think you’re treading a very thin line here.” He warned. 

“I’m not trying to do anything Tommy,” You spoke defensively, “She follows him around like a lost puppy, I’ve not seen her make any friends, I just wanted to try and do something nice for her to make her feel welcome.” 

Tommy sighed, “Space,” He replied simply, “Joel said she liked space, wanted to be an astronaut or something like that, and she's attached to that Walkman like it's her lifeline,” He was focusing on not hitting his fingers with the hammer, “Maria actually put aside a box of things she thought she might like, with the baby she hasn’t had time to take it over, but maybe if you drop back with me later you can drop it off for us?” 

“Sounds good,” You responded, “Will he be there?” 

Tommy smirked, “No, he’s on evening patrol on the fence tonight so nothing to worry about.” 

“I’m not worried Tommy.” 

“Sure, that’s why your nails are bitten down and you’ve been chewing at your lips since he arrived,” Your eyes widened, he was always the more astute of the brothers, “You used to do that before, when you were worried about things.” 

“Well like I said, I’m not worried about anything.” You mumbled. 

“Whatever you say, Sunshine,” He winked at you, “I finished hammering that about five minutes ago, you can let go now.” 

*** 

The box was heavy in your arms – you silently cursed Maria for filling it up so much, what was even in here? You could see a few books on the top and an empty notepad and there was some material at the bottom that could only be clothing. You thanked the Gods for not allowing the bottom to drop out of it, setting it down on the porch before knocking on the door of the house Tommy had pointed at when you were walking back to his. 

It took a while for someone to answer, but the door was eventually ripped open, and Ellie was stood in front of you, trying to catch her breath. 

“Oh hey,” She greeted, “Joel’s not here.” 

“Lucky me, because I’m actually here to see you,” You smiled, tapping the cardboard box on the floor with your foot, “Maria sent me over with a few things she thought you might like.” 

Ellie bent down to pick it up but you beat her to it, “It’s heavy, let me bring it inside for you.” 

She smiled and moved in the doorway to let you pass. The inside of their home was exactly as you’d imagine it to be, it wasn’t that much different to how yours had been when you moved in. Simple and bare save for the few pieces of furniture, a coffee mug was sat on the table near the kitchen – if Joel was half he man he had been before that would be his, half full of coffee that he’d drunk before leaving for patrol. 

“You can set it down on the table.” Ellie directed, which you did, taking hold of the coffee cup to find it was exactly how you’d imagined, half full of coffee which was still slightly warm, Joel had left recently. 

You watched as Ellie started going through the box, taking out the books to read the back of them before setting them down and investigating the clothes, seemingly happy with what Maria had chosen. 

“I hope you don’t mind but I brought you something too,” You spoke quietly, fishing around in your jacket pocket before pulling out a CD, “I don’t know if it’s your sort of music, but I’ve seen you with your Walkman around town and though you’d like something different to listen to.” 

She took the CD gratefully, “Foo Fighters, what kinda name is that?” 

You giggled, “You know they were actually pretty good, I listened to them all the time before all this, trust me.” 

“You sure you don’t wanna keep it?” Ellie asked, trying to pass it back to you. 

“I don’t have anything to listen to it on, so it’s all yours, I wanna know what you think of it though.” You gave her a smile and a wink. 

“Thanks,” She said, “This is actually super cool.” 

You knew you couldn’t linger too long here; you didn’t want to outstay your welcome and make Ellie feel uncomfortable. You wanted to do something nice for her so she would tell Joel. Then you’d be front and center in his mind. He might even thank you himself and surely that meant opening a conversation with him. Baby steps, you kept telling yourself. 

“You’re welcome,” You reached out and squeezed her shoulder, “And if you ever need anything else you can always ask me, I know how hard it can be to settle here after being… out there.” 

Ellie nodded at you, and you excused yourself, heading home and hoping you’d planted a big enough seed to grow. 

***

The next morning, as Joel was setting breakfast on the table for Ellie before she went to school, the seed started to bloom. 

“Your girlfriend came round last night.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You know that woman you knew from before, the one we met at the bar?” 

“Ellie, she ain’t my girlfriend,” Ellie shrugged at Joel’s answer, shoveling eggs into her mouth, “What was she doin’ here?” 

“Bought some box of stuff Maria set aside for me,” She said with her mouth full, earning a glare from Joel at her table manners, “She bought me this awesome CD as well, did you ever hear of the Foo Fighters?” 

Joel nodded, trying not to remember that the only reason he did was because you had insisted on keeping that damn CD in his truck – it had been the background noise to most of your evening escapades when you couldn’t be in his bed. It wasn’t his particular cup of tea, but he had always liked watching you out of the corner of his eye as he drove you to your spot, tapping your fingers on the side of the car and singing along when the moment took you. 

“Well, I hope you said thank you.” Joel grumbled, drinking the last of his coffee, “Now come on, you’ll be late.” 

As Joel stood on the porch and watched Ellie walk down the street to school he cursed you. Cursed you for being the sweet little girl he always remembered and making Ellie happy, because now he’d have to seek you out and thank you himself. Running a hand over his face he resolved to do it today, better to get it over with instead of dwelling on things. 

***

You were bent over the bench in the tool shed taking inventory when a knock at the door pulled you from your counting. Tommy had asked you to take stock of what materials were left after you’d repaired the fence the previous day and although it was giving you a headache it was distracting work, having to concentrate on something that wasn’t Joel. 

“Come in!” You called, not looking up from the pile of nails you were counting, you scribbled the number you’d already counted to on a slip of paper, dropping the rest back in the tub to continue counting later. 

Turning around, Joel was leant on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. In the daylight and up close he was just as devastating as he’d been all those years ago. You silently willed the giddy feeling in your bones to go away. 

“Not interrupting anything am I?” He asked, nodding his head towards the bench. 

“Not at all, it’s a welcome break actually, only so many nails you can count before you go insane,” You laughed, hoping he would do the same, but his face was as stoic as ever, “Do you need something?” 

He let out a sigh, “I just wanted to say thank you for what you did for Ellie yesterday, she’s been through a lot, and this is an adjustment to say the least, so thank you.” 

You smiled at him, “You’re welcome,” you replied simply, “I’ve seen her wandering around with that Walkman attached to her so figured she could use something new to listen to,” You started rambling now, “I can’t even believe I managed to find it, it was just hanging out in some old store we stumbled through a few years back and all I could think about what how we used to listen to it in your truck when you’d….” Your eyes went wide as you stopped yourself from finishing your sentence, this wasn’t how you wanted this to go, “Sorry.” You mumbled, looking down from his eyes to your fingers where you set to work worrying at a bit of loose skin. 

“It’s alright,” He spoke, “If I’m bein’ honest it’s exactly what I thought about when she showed me last night.” 

“Oh,” You exclaimed, snapping your eyes up to him, “Have you thought about me much?” 

“Darlin’,” He spoke softly, “It’s best not to talk about it, I don’t want to upset you.” 

You nodded, “That means no then right?” You replied, “Because if you had you would have said because that would have made me happy, saying you don’t want to upset me means you didn’t.” 

“It was easier that way,” He admitted softly, “Convincing myself you were gone.” 

“Wish I could say the same,” You shrugged, “Was there anyone else?” 

You didn’t know where all this was coming from and you were half expecting him to tell you to shut your mouth and mind your own business, but to your surprise he answered, “There was one woman, her name was Tess, it wasn’t…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words, “It just made sense, we ran in the same circle, and I guess we just helped distract each other sometimes.” 

“Understandable.” You replied simply, itching to get yourself out of the conversation now. 

“What about you, was there anyone else?” 

You laughed, “Travelling across country trying to keep my dad alive isn’t really conducive to that sort of thing, so no Joel, there was no-one else,” He nodded in understanding but didn’t move to speak again, “I should really get back to this.” You mused, pointing to the bench. 

“Of course, sorry for takin’ up your time, and thank you again, Ellie really did appreciate it.” 

Joel left without another word, closing the door quietly behind him and all the frustration you’d felt came tumbling out. Angry tears pricked at your eyes at your stupidity that he’d have thought about you at all. You were only ever the stupid little girl with her stupid little crush and the moment he had the opportunity to forget you he did. Of course he did. You wiped at your cheeks furiously, willing your emotions to get themselves in check so you could go back to work, but for the rest of the day you’d catch yourself in your melancholy, tears threatening to fall and your mind completely distracted. This was not how this was supposed to go at all. 

***

“You should have seen his face!” Your father roared at the table, “White as a ghost when I woke up.” 

You weren’t sure how you’d made it here but you were sat at a table in The Tipsy Bison with your father and Tommy, along with Joel and Ellie, whilst your father recounted stories of your survival, telling them with an enthusiasm that would rival a war veteran speaking about their time in the forces. He was currently going through the motions of explaining how you’d made it to Jackson and how he thought Tommy was going to pass out when he realized it was the both of you he’d rescued. 

You’d mostly kept quiet, only popping into the conversation to correct him when he got something wrong. Otherwise you kept your focus on the glass of whiskey in front of you that Tommy was keeping topped up with the bottle he’d bought from the bar for you all. 

“How’d you get that scar on your face?” You looked up at Ellie, everyone else looking at her in horror for being so blunt. 

“Ellie, don’t be so nosey.” Joel chastised her. 

“It’s alright,” You shrugged, “It’s pretty lame actually, we’d shut ourselves in a house a few years ago trying to hide from a pack of infected, not realizing someone else had the same idea. I was looking out the window to see if we had a clear route out when I heard someone shuffling behind me. I turned around and by the time I realized what was happening he’d slashed the knife on my face.” 

“Did you kill him?” 

“Ellie!” Both Tommy and Joel burst out at the same time. 

You chuckled, realizing you probably shouldn’t encourage her questions, but replied anyway, “In a way I guess I did, we had a bit of a struggle and he tripped and fell out of the window, it was a tall building so yeah, he died.” 

“That’s cool.” 

You shrugged, looking around the table to see that everyone was willing the conversation to move elsewhere, you were itching to know more about how Joel and Ellie had come to be together aside from the snippets Tommy had told you, but you didn’t think this would be the right place to ask. Instead, you fished a cigarette out of your jacket pocket, shoving it between your lips and excusing yourself. 

You were halfway through it, leaning against the railing outside the bar when you felt someone come up behind you and lean themselves down next to you, “Never thought I’d see the day when you turned to those.” 

“Well, I’m not surprised if you spent the last twenty years convincing yourself I was dead,” You shrugged at Joel, as always, alcohol emboldening your tone, “I’ve gotta die of something and I’d rather these than being torn apart limb from limb or sprouting mushrooms from my face.” You punctuated the end of your sentence with a long drag of your smoke, blowing it out into the cool night. 

“How do you always do that?” He asked. 

“Do what?” You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Make anything seem funny,” He offered, “The world’s gone to shit, everyone we’ve ever really cared for is dead and yet here you are, joking like we’re back to the days before.” 

 “It’s the only way I don’t focus on all the shitty things I’ve done to get here.” 

It was silent between you for a moment. You could have sworn you saw Joel move his hand as if he was going to place it reassuringly on your arm like he always did but he didn’t, even if your head was screaming at him to do it, just to breech the barrier he had up between the two of you. 

“Can I say something?” You asked after a moment. 

He nodded, “I don’t want to step out of line, but I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about Sarah,” You could see him physically tense next to you, “You don’t have to tell me what happened, in fact, it’s probably best you don’t but… I liked her Joel; she was a good kid and she didn’t deserve what happened to her and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” 

“I hate the way you miss me.” He mumbled. 

You looked him dead in the eye for the first time, “I don’t hate the way I miss you,” You spoke honestly, “I think it’s the only thing that kept me alive sometimes, thinking about the chance to see you again, hold your hand or kiss you.” 

He sighed, “You can’t stand there and say that,” He spoke roughly, “With your big eyes beggin’ me to be the man you deserve, I couldn’t be that before all of this and I certainly can’t be that for you now,” and then finally, “We can’t keep doin’ this.” 

You nodded, stubbing out your cigarette and throwing it to the ground in front of the bar, “Understood,” You spoke, giving him a final glance, “Goodnight Joel.” 

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[greyminyoon1]

LOST ON YOU

Warnings & Genre- slight angst, minor character death.

Authors note- hey, just something that was rotting in my notes. I am in no means a writer but constructive criticism are welcomed ☝🏼

——-

Funeral homes are never anyone's favorite. definitely not when its one of your own people. a person you had once held so close to heart, maybe not during that moment but you did soon realize the impact of thier presence in your life.

Mr.Jeong was a constant in every students life in Hanseong high school. you would see him by the gate,the corridors, the ground ,the man was omnipresent. students never got how he did it. even with his tough exterior he was one of the most loved teachers. the lack of space in the funeral home would say otherwise.

heesung watch's the crowd die down slowly from the corner of the hall. his eyes shift from the portrait of Mr.Jeong displayed on the wall to the three boys sitting across him. niki doesn't seem to have taken the news too well, his head hanging low with equally exhausted boys on the either side of him. sunoo’s swollen eyes and now puffed face give away the tears hes been trying to hold. jungwon just looks deep in his thoughts but heesung knows thats far from it.

heesung doesn't really know how to deal with their pain, let alone his own. his gaze shifts back to the portrait in front but his attention is taken away from the three boys now sitting in front of it. sunghoon catches heesung staring, returning it with the same intense glare.

---

Flashback

“jeong nim!”

the professor walks to the notorious dozen of students with a slight smile. it was always hard to bid farewell to the students every year especially the set of students who frequently visited detention or seen knee bent outside in the halls with their arms up bickering with one another. Though he thinks this batch would forever have a piece of him. While they bicker over who would be taking the picture first with their favorite teacher, few of them do not let the pooling eyes of their teacher go unnoticed.

“okay, lets stop and take a group picture now” , mr.jeong says blinking away his watery eyes. the eight kids scramble up smiling wide with the teacher in the middle of the frame.

click.

‘seonsengnim i need a single one!’, niki shoves the others away whilst pulling his teacher to another background. “your not even graduating until the next two years, you punk!”

click.

“jae-in ah!”, Mr jeong calls out motioning her to come take a picture with him with a stiff smile

her focus shifts from the subjects on her camera, peeking with a small ,“ aren't you getting too sentimental today seonsegnim?”, earning sinkers from the boys. she hands the camera over to sunghoon, making her way to Mr.Jeong.

click.

“dont forget to send those to me.”

who knew jae-in had plans of getting away with those pictures.

---

Jungwon’s the one who breaks this unsaid game of pride and encourages the eldest to just be civil. thats how the seven boys find themselves in a table drowning themselves in soju. the rooms almost empty, except for the seven boys and few other relatives. the boys looked up at each other once a while but mostly found the soju glass interesting enough to pour their thoughts into. With the past preoccupied on their mind, it was sort of a bittersweet moment.

—-

Flashback

the sound of crashing waves with occasional yells from the boys and the sweet melody of guitar strings fill the space, jae-in sits between sunghoon and jay watching rest of the boys play in the sea. she likes the feel of sand slipping away from her fists, mindlessly repeating the act while watching the boys. Sunghoon sits on her left drawing shapes on the sand as jay plays his guitar on her right.

“dinner is on me.” jae-in says in a monotonous tone. “your part-time jobs must be treating you well finally”, Sunghoon snickers while dusting off his hands and stands up to stretch.”im gonna take a dip, you both should join”, he knows very well you wont while his other friend may eventually. The pair watch him jog his way to the boys.

“is something up?”, Jae-in doesn't show how much that question affects her, answering him back with a question again, “what would be?”.

Jay has stopped playing the guitar, his one arm thrown over the instruments body while his other still hold the chords. Jae-in thinks about how fitting he looks with this instrument, maybe them joking about him becoming someone famous or getting into a band dint seem too far off.

Jay’s mind is preoccupied with what he had witnessed last night, the goons you were pouring drinks for seemed to be too familiar with your name for his liking. He never doubted you on your self defense skills, just maybe sometimes you should know to lean on someone, mentally. But when he looks at you at this moment, chocolate hair flowing with the wind, an oversized jacket which most definitely is from one of the boys and your bored eyes looking at him, He stutters.

“ju-just because”. He doesn't have it in him to question you further.

He should have.

He should have asked when you offered to take a dip in the sea.

They should have asked when you started recording every moment of the day.

They should have asked when you raised a toast on the dinner table.

They should have asked when you smiled a bit too wide.

They should have asked before you left.

They would have. you were just too convincing.

—-

They were all in a room, together yet so far apart on their train of thoughts.

The ticking of the clock passed by seconds to minutes to an hour or two, the empty room now consisting of only the boys. The tube lights flicker while the janitor mops the floors for the last time after a long day. It was a que for the boys to leave.

The clicking of boot soles grab the attention of the seven boys. Black sunglasses, black hanbok covers the new identity. Jae-in did not expect anyone to be here, let alone the seven boys she has never seen for the past few years. Or just maybe she was willing to try her luck.

Shes thanks the gods shes worn these ridiculously large glasses,though shes sure it wont take long for one of them to know.

Its almost plausible how the boys don’t recognize her immediately. to say the boys were shocked was an understatement. if the air was solemn and sad all this while, now the room felt as if it were was lacking of air circulation.

she acts plain, just another person to bid her goodbyes to. but Mr.Jeong wasnt just any person to her. Midst all the silent chaos in the room she makes her way towards her only family.

Mr.Jeong‘s portrait smiling at her doesnt help the guilt shes been bottling up. for all the things he had done for her in high school to even the last moments of his death. your uncle told you he would never resent you though you did not know if you had the ability not to resent yourself.

After what seems like an eternity of time and memories flashing back, Jae-in knows what she has to face as she turns towards the exit.

“i really dont know if we should be happy your alive or rip your hair off right now.”, niki’s coarse voice echo's off the hall.

[boyakishantriage]

One human. On human had declared war upon our species. Death. Death after they murdered our kind. Ruthlessly. After they did not submit to their traditions...

One human. A single human had so easily declared war, sitting bored whilst the council discussed her speech. Calmly answering questions after such. An impassioned speech. I had not know such, evil cases occured during the war. But surely, surely the humans were as bad themselves?

I was fucked. Oh so fucked. One human had declared war, no matter. But this human. This human had. Something. I weren't as great a reader as my friend, but this human had something. Something more that she used during the war. They'd vanished, then reappeared with different kinds of humans. What little I could gather, magic. They had magic, actual magic and capable of doing so. At a price. But loopholes. Knowledge. She knew something. I knew it.

It took a while before anyone really noticed the war, she'd not left to join crews, rather staying upon the capital and meeting with. Commoners. Simple folk. What on earth were she doing?

I smiled, laughing and comparing notes with my alien friends. As always, I found the outskirting aliens. Wise, but not without ability. So far there were none like or greater than I. Shame as it was, but no matter. I felt eyes looked into me, a sense that something was watching oh so stealthily. I glanced over, seeing the grey like alien delegates staring back as he quickly bled into the crowd.

How had she known? I wore the finest stealth tech in the galaxy! She. She saw me. Stories of humans strangeness were spun around, but. No. She were only one human. But her gaze. It felt. Strange. Like a crowd stared at me. But that couldn't be true. She had no technology nor any that could...

She dropped onto the planet's surface, dropping into a grove of trees of some sort. Not a botanist, but my friends would very much want samples.

There was a signal, something was here. Size, power, race. Nothing. The sensors came blank, just a single human. No. Eight. One. Eight.

The statistician called out the numbers, the numbers blinking before the whole room glitched. Then. It came online again. One human. Just one.

Weird white leaves, sulfur smelling planet. Low light. Mostly bioluminescent plants. Kinda cool, then I heard a sound. Drawing pistol, firing the spine, head and body parts off. Chitin armoured covered teenagers. Monsters, fucking monsters using our people to defend themselves. I reached into the Nothing, mana swirling around my hand as I grabbed my bag of toys. I did quite like fire. And Greek fire always burnt the best.

"GET BACK HERE LITTLE TE'MA. I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR- ME!" She threw the little girl to the ground. Prying her off the wall, dragging her screaming as she threw her into the fire.

"I fucking hate bigots." She muttered, throwing block after block onto the families. Shadows cackled, laughing as they fed on their misery and fear. Farmers long since abandoned the area, as the electric hum of vehicles drove forward.

"BACK OFF-" Before the man could even shout what had to be such a bold threat, the woman already had the trigger in her hand.

"MOVE THAT HUNK OF JUNK TO ME, YOUR FAMILY AND PLANET BURNS. SURRENDER AND GIVE UP YOUR FELLOW MAN." She shouted across the fields, tank frozen in place as she stared the alien down. Just out of range, a trigger in her hand and barrels of something lined keeping his family caged in. Military were incapable of fighting back, she'd done something to the ground causing black paint to coat into some kind of circle. Then something clicked.

There was no way she could win, spear in hand he marched forward. He'd dropped the military gear before this, choosing the armour of old.

She looked at him, squinting as the bastard walked forward with. Was that a pointy stick?

She threw the trigger aside, a black pedestal appearing to hold the trigger as she drew blade. Wearing black long sleeved clothes, hat and a face mask. She looked more ready to rave, but they probably didn't know what that was.

No matter, I enjoy my fun. I drew my sword, tossing the bottles into the air as I sliced them apart.

Fine. Liquid. Of some kind, fell out of bottles as she. Pulled them out of thin air. Truth was. He were giving time, time for the scientists to figure out how she could do what she did because truthfully. He'd be pulled out the moment he were even in danger, same with his family. For their sake, he didn't tell them. But it's be worth it.

The man really thought his tech would be able to work in the circle. Not only did I amplify explosions, it prevented teleportation of any technological kind. Bloody complicated doing that, mixing magic systems always tricky, but. Let's let him believe he had a chance. Revenge, one of my fatal flaws and thankfully in that tends to work out. 9/10.

"how dare you."

Stated the alien, translator chorusing his words. Regal, short and stout. Fucking posho pansy. Pay lotta dosh for his stacked bod and enhancements. Meaning he probably didn't have shit aside from being lucky born.

"dare what? Take your family and use it to threaten you? No worse than what you ordered."

"you ignorant pig! You attacked us first!"

"you fired at our men! Shot down civilians and steam rolled all who came in your way!"

He rushed forward, swinging spear as he jumped up.

"How DARE-"

"BEAT HER UP DADDY!"

The spear broke in half. Whatever it was, weakly forged. Not made for battle, a replica. Someone swindled this man.

He stood, modified body holding a cheap wooden stick as the fancy parts shattered. She held a simple knife. A pocket knife. Against the spear. It holding against the wood as she effortlessly the stick away, before punching the alien in the face.

Thinner air. One thing I noticed, thinner air. Lower gravity, 9.003m/s from the tools I had. Enough flight was a little harder for them, compared to our 9.8. Smaller number, harder to get right. Too big crumbled. Too small crashed. Same on earth, just we had a little more leeway.

He didn't move far back, but the strike punched through the energy shield, a thin layer of linked nanites made to redirect energy. She didn't use whatever it was, pushing forward with. Momentum. Intertia. Of course, humans could use intertia so easily. Even their weakest could use it, but theirs. Hah. How unfair, this-

She struck the stick against his neck, twirling it over her own as she struck his chest. Pushing the alien further away as she lifted herself up. Before slamming it down onto its pelvis.

I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. All I knew was so was pissed. This man caused so much death and destruction and acts like it's all unfair. And that it's not our fault they invaded us and we responded in "OI. FUCK OFF" shooting them back with warning shots until they started killing people, killing their civs.

Pain spread across the body, wanting signals blazing as I rose.

The alien staggered to his feet, the woman barley flinching as she swirled the staff. Tripping him over the stick as she beat him back and forth throwing him into the air before kicking the man backwards.

He was thrown back, the insolent-

She didn't let up, sword stuck in the ground as she began beating the man with her first. Punching him like a gorilla, screaming and growling. Roaring into his face as she shouted insults.

It became pelting me with strikes, unable to do anything but take it I grasped my emergency-

She broke the alien's arm off, tearing through the flesh as blue blood splurged from the wound. Howling in it's tongue, screaming like a brat as I grabbed it by the collar of its neck and lifted it up.

The army watch in shock as their leader became a fleshy punching bag, rage. Pure anger beating the greatest their military had. Skill, technique, using momentum and keeping it going as she pummeled their boss with hits. How dare she.

How did she?

She threw the beaten alien aside, muttering spells as his arm healed. Throwing him a laser gun, she roared. "SHOW ME YOU HAVE THE MIGHT TO BE EVIL."

"I SHALL END-"

She pushed the weapon into his face, the stun gun firing full blast as she rolled out the way. No strike back. The aristocrat stumbling away, falling over as she walked over.

"you've got to be kidding me." She stated, calmly standing while he fired the gun at her. She was told he was the greatest they had, considering the aliens could shoot straight and decent hand to hand. That left a lot of preparation. But no. The best they had couldn't hit a stationary target. 10 metres away. With the gun's range being. 40 metres.

I fired, howling as the weapon fired shit after shot, before she advanced. A hah! I-

She punched the alien's jaw into the ground, grumbling as she slammed the tree Swiss cheese tree beside her.

"ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING ME?" The tree fell over, not only had the aliens foot soldiers been stronger than this man, but they also knew to shoot the enemy then brag.

She threw the last alien onto the floor, tossing a block onto them.

"I SPENT. MONTHS. PLANNING TO FIGHT THE BEST THE ELVES HAD TO OFFER AND Y'KNOW WHAT I FOUND? Y'KNOW WHAT THE BOOGY MEN OF THE FUCKING MILK WAY WERE?"

She kicked the face of an Elf.

"PANSIES. FUCKING. PANSIES." The elf's head crushed as she stomped the body, breaking bones in a very graphic manner before slamming another onto the delegates podium. Beating the elf into it, as she continued.

"Y'ALL HEARD. THE COMBAT. REPORT. They killed hundred. OF. US. WITH DRONES. AND THEIR OWN FUCKING COMMAND. COULDN'T FUCKING. HIT ME. AT. TEN METRES. THEIR GUNS ARE 40 FOR FUCKS. SAKE" she sliced the head of several of the aliens, shoving a grenade into one's mouth as she continued showing the files.

"I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO DARES FIGHT THE GREATEST THEIR ARMY HAD. I FOUGHT THEIR GREATEST AND THE FOOT SOLDIERS. THOSE MEANT TO BE CHEWED UP. ARE MORE DEADLY. THAN THE BOSS. THE GUY WE'RE. MEANT. TO BE. SCARED OF!" She huffed, spitting on the bloody bodies of the aliens.

"WHAT THE FUCK." She shouted, tripping onto her ass as she tried to kick one of the bodies.

"ow. My ass. But seriously. How the fuck are they the bogey men when I literally walked through hundreds of bullets, at point blank range. That's like missing to touch right in front of you. Failing to dodge a far away, really big and slow rock coming at you!" She glared at the crowd, aliens looking away as she spat onto the floor.

"THIS IS WHY I HATE WORKING WITH SUITS!!!" She shouted, marching out the hall.

[yandere-kokeshi]

Heyyy~~~~ Could you do yandere Enmu headcanon's? Thank you.

Yandere Emnu Headcanons

Warnings: Yandere behavior and forced dreaming(?).

Author Note: Thank you for this request! This was an interesting one to write!!

Enmu is sadistic, he enjoys seeing the pain in humans, seeing their eyes grow from enjoyment in their dreams to pure fear makes him have butterflies in his stomach. He enjoys seeing them suffer, and become weak and uncontrollable from the crying of a loved one.

If you get Enmu’s attention, you are considered a god; much like Muzan-san. He might’ve fallen in love with you depending on what you did; If you were a victim of his lovely dreaming, maybe he saw you trying to get away, break the spell while you were still asleep. Or, you were an observant Demon Slayer, immediately sensing that the train was infested with demons, which caught him off guard but intrigued him, pulling him into you with such loveable eyes.

Emu would kidnap you immediately once you’ve caught his eye(s), he doesn’t want anyone to woo you away from him. Once you’ve fallen asleep, he’d put you in a peaceful dream, a dream that would make you wanna stay forever; while you are in the dreams, he’d look at all your flaws, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes; trying to find everything about you so he can show you how good of a follower he can be to you.

If you by chance have any relatives, friends, or anyone important to you. They are mostly gonna suddenly disappear, find up dead in the most gruesome way, or be turned into demons, being found by former demon slayers.

Enmu’s yandere behavior is worshiping, sadist, guilt-tripping, and clingy; he’d treat you as a god, almost kissing the floor you walk on. He always lets you roam free, with him behind you, praising you for whatever you did, whether small or big. He worships you, loves to touch you in any way possible; even if it's a short touch, he'll hum softly and smile creepy.

The way he shows his affection is unpredictable, he can become very distant, fearing he’ll hurt you due to him being a demon to him holding you all night, kissing your face gently whilst telling you he cannot wait to get married in the future. He will give you gifts, mostly books, flowers, and written notes and poems he did whilst watching you sleep. He loves touching you, holding you in his lap whilst he plays with your hair, daydreaming about what it would be like to spend the rest of his life with you.

In the future, he will only turn you into a demon when he feel;s necessary, which is in rare cases. If you ever get sick, demand him to turn you into a demon, or at the verge of death; will he only turn you into a demon.

Punishments are interesting at this point, due to his unpredictableness, his punishments come at the same price. Some nights, if you do something he doesn’t like, he won’t punish you at all, however, if you do something else; he’ll punish you, with zero sympathy. It really depends on his moods(?)

If you ever use words, he’ll put on his puppy eyes, making you feel guilty. If you do decide to continue on with the words, he’d slowly put a creepy smile on, look you directly in the eyes and threaten to do something to your family, friends, or loved one. Afterwards, pretend nothing happened and continue on, as if he didn’t say anything.

If you're doing anything physical, such as kicking, punching, or pushing him away; he feels welcomed to those ‘harmful’ acts. He will gladly welcome them with a smile, saying thank you as he is sadistic and masochistic. However, he will slowly become annoyed, seeing as he cannot touch you as much as he wants. Though, this will take months, around (3) three or (4) four.

If you continue this up, he will put you into a terror nightmare, making you dream something that is not enjoyable at all and ends up making you wake up with tears, shaking from the thrill thought of it. Of course, he’s there, comforting you: “See what happens when you don’t listen? All I wanna do is help you. Please love, allow me to help you and love you.”

In the end, you’d fall under Stockholm syndrome, in the little ‘love land’ you two have, just where he wants you and where you want him.

—

Masterlist | Requests are open!

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ©yandere-kokeshi

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

[one-boring-person]

Hi, it's me again lol. I'm not very well, could you do one with Lost Boys, which the reader suffers with depression until one day she is about to try something to end the pain, but the boys find her and stop her plan? Something cute with them talking to her, hugs and they even decide to take her in. If you don't want to because it's too triggering, that's fine, I'll understand. I'm really sorry if it's bothersome, it's just that I needed some comfort with them and you write so well.

Oh no, I hope you feel better after reading this! I'm sorry it's so short!💛❤ and thanks for the compliments!

Why Did You Stop Me?

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: SUICIDAL THEMES, mention of death

Masterlist

A/n: this is the closest I will get to writing suicide (for future reference for others)

Wind tears around the four vampires as they race up the road, each thanking whatever God there is that their bodies don't get tired from exertion like this, though they use the same breath to curse them. Normally, they'd be much faster, using the air to get exactly where they need to be, but nature is playing a cruel trick on them today: a storm rages around Santa Carla, the wind and rain far too strong for flying to be of any real use. It does nothing to help the panic sparking through their systems, bodies tense as they push through the whirling haze of rain, eyes wide in terror. None of them, not Paul, not Marko, not Dwayne, not even David, can remember the last time they were as frightened, as helpless as they felt now.

Paul leads, his naturally leaner body moving faster than the others, though Dwayne is right on his tail, Marko and David bringing up the rear, their coats flying out behind them. None of them speak, each too focused on getting up the hill they've ridden up so many times, the stretch feeling longer than it ever has done. The sharp ridge of the bridge up ahead is already in view, the structure so familiar to them, a place they never thought would be used for anything except their own enjoyment. 

As they finally crest the top of the hill, a familiar figure comes into view, their silhouette almost invisible through the rainstorm as they stare down at the gaping drop below them. It's heartbreaking for the vampires to see this, the set to the figure's shoulders dejected, slumped and weak, something they've come to notice in past months, though they always tried to curb it. They tried all sorts: nights out on the Boardwalk, movie nights in their home, food dates, motorbike rides, everything. It had looked like it was working, like their efforts were making a change, but it was only tonight that they figured out it made no difference. The note they found at the cave had told them that their efforts were appreciated, but that, though they had tried, it wasn't enough. Not this time.

Their brains had gone blank as they tore from the hotel, forgetting their bikes as they started the long run to the bridge, where they knew she'd be waiting, ready to commit one last act.

Now, as they race out over the edge of the hill, they call out to her, Paul breaking into a sprint as he gets close. She looks over at them, eyes widening as she freezes in place, before she turns back to the drop, moving closer to the edge. 

Paul visibly strains to move faster, hair fanning out around his face as he leaps to catch (Y/n), who finally steps off of the edge. 

The others skid to a halt, screaming out to her as she starts to plummet to the black depths, hearts dropping in terror, their voices raw with pain and horror, pleading lacing their tones. David, Marko and Dwayne can only watch as Paul throws himself off after her, arms outstretched as he calls out to her, desperation driving him forwards. 

For a moment, there is no sound except the howling wind around them, the rain pelting the floor beating out a rhythm they don't pay any attention to, the three vampires frozen in place in terror. Genuine fear is etched into David's expression, his face more open and vulnerable than either Dwayne or Marko can recall it ever being, but then so are theirs. Stock still, they remain where they are, staring out over the empty crack in the ground, every particle within them being used to pray for (Y/n)'s survival and Paul's success. He'd always been a fast flyer, so he definitely stands a good choice of catching her.

Minutes pass, before Paul finally emerges back over the lip of the cliff, a body cradled in his arms. In the dark, the others can tell he's distraught, his eyes wide as he stares down at the girl in his grip, the limp figure curled into his chest. Instantly, the other three leap into the air, fighting the harsh winds as they move to crowd round their friend, anxious to know if (Y/n) is alright.

"She fainted...she's alive." Paul manages out, sounding breathless as he holds (Y/n) closer to him.

Relief floods them all, teary eyes closing as they thank whatever is out there that she's still with them, that she hasn't been taken away from them prematurely.

*

It's a few hours later that (Y/n) finally comes to again, finding herself confused and disoriented as she wakes in a bed full of four other bodies, each curled around her. The feeling is comforting, but she can't help the small spark of disappointment that flares up within her as she realises she's still alive. Groaning, she leans her head back, surprised when it meets the hard ridge of someone's collarbone. She glances up, eyes widening in surprise as she sees David watching her, his piercing eyes softer than usual. The look instills a sense of security within her, and she glances around her again, taking in the other vampires holding her. Dwayne lies to David's right, his head on her shoulder, whilst Marko uses her stomach as a pillow, Paul lying between her legs, his head on one of her thighs. All of them are watching her, relief written into their features.

"You're awake." Paul murmurs, his warm blue eyes meeting her's.

Tired, she simply nods, somewhat unhappy with that fact. They notice this, and their grips tighten around her. All is silent for a long while, (Y/n) sinking back into the dark thoughts that spring unbidden to mind.

"Why did you stop me?" She finally asks, voice quiet and hoarse.

"Because none of us would be able to live without you, and you were trying to take yourself away far too early. We couldn't let you do that to yourself when you've got a whole life ahead of you." David says, reassuring her with the rhythmic rubbing of his hand over her arm, "We love you too much."

"But why? I'm not happy with who I am, I hate existing, and, apart from you guys, there is nothing left for me to live for!" She argues back, frowning angrily.

"We love you for who you are and we know full well that you have a lot of opportunities that you'll miss out on. We want to help you learn to love yourself as much as we do, we're here for you, (Y/n). We always have been, as long as we've known you." Dwayne interjects, smiling down at me gently.

Rendered speechless by the confession, (Y/n) opens and closes her mouth a few times, trying to figure out an argument in response, before Marko leans up and places a finger over her lips.

"What they're saying is true. We all love you far too much just to let you go so easily. We're gonna fight with you and we're not gonna let you surrender, ever, because you have so much to live for. There are loads of people who care about you, it just seems like there aren't many because the world had a cruel way of making life difficult for us all. You're appreciated, (Y/n), by loads of people." The shorter blonde smiles, "Mostly by us, though.

"Yeah, (Y/n), we need you in our lives. You're so important to us." Paul chips in, watching her.

Again, (Y/n) struggles to find the words she wants, unsure of how to react though her heart has flooded with love and security, chasing off the darkness. She makes a few noncommittal sounds at first, until David interrupts her.

"Come on, we'll talk more about this tomorrow night. Right now, you need to get some sleep." The blonde vampire hums, holding her closer to him as the others cuddle closer, too, pressing their bodies to hers. 

"Thank you." (Y/n) murmurs after a little while, relaxing into the vampires' grip, feeling exhaustion starting to take over.

"Of course. We're always here for you." Dwayne purrs back, the boys cradling her until she falls asleep, the four of them unbelievably relieved that they got to her in time.

[kittenshift-17]

Hi! I've really been craving some snamione fics, and your writing has made me picky 😬 do you have any fic recs or authors you go to when you're wanting something good? (the spicier the better)

Girl, you came to the right place. My Snamione loving heart is all aflutter. MY TIME HAS COME!! 

*scampers off to fetch list to all her fave Snamiones in no particular order*

Self Slain Gods on Strange Altars by scumblackentropy What do you want me to say, Granger? That you are mine and I am yours? You are. I am. Let's not fuck around.

Pet Project by Caeria Hermione overhears something she shouldn't concerning Professor Snape and decides that maybe the House-elves aren't the only ones in need of protection.

FALLING FURTHER IN by kaz2 Hermione begins to learn something of the man behind the dark sarcasms of the classroom.

Chasing The Sun by Loten AU, from Order of the Phoenix onwards. Hermione only wanted to learn Healing; she discovers that Professor Snape is a human being after all, and his actions dramatically shape the course of the war as events unfold. Complete.

Pride of Time by Anubis Ankh Hermione quite literally crashes her way back through time by roughly twenty years. There is no going back; the only way is to go forward. And when one unwittingly interferes with time, what one expects may not be what time finds...

Inkspots by mezzosangue When you are a double spy with two masters, no one is a friend. But the war ended last May, and Severus is now his own man. An owl brings a letter of change, but is it a good change? Canon Compliant, disregards Epilogue. Eventual SS/HG romance.

Splintered and Broken by A plus He had watched as the thin wood snapped across her knee with a violence he had not known she possessed. He had been her teacher for seven years and had never seen this girl give up at anything. Voldemort wins, Hermione leaves, Severus waits.

The Tattered Man by Aurette I was once asked to write a Marriage Law Challenge fic by someone who loves a sad tale. This short story is it. Angst, Character Death. Tissues recommended. COMPLETE

Saving your life by lilmisblack  When Hermione is captured by Death Eaters, Severus knows there's only one way to save her. 'What are you doing? ' she asked, her voice shaky. 'Saving your life,' he said, just as he started kissing her neck.

A Murder of Crows by Hogwarts 91 14 yrs post-war: Hermione’s teaching at Hogwarts when an un-aged Snape awakens from stasis and returns to the school. Sparks fly when they meet. Can they learn to trust and love in time to defeat an evil plot bent on changing the wizarding world forever?

Advanced Floriography by Viridiantly Snape's first question to Harry about wormwood and asphodel in the Language of Flowers means 'I bitterly regret Lily's death'. Harry never gets the message behind the question, but what if Hermione does, years later? Mostly set in HBP, DH and after. A story of messages with flowers, the wizarding war, and different kinds of love. Slow-burn. Not canon-compliant, but canon-inspired.

Looking for Magic by Hypnobarb Severus Snape and Hermione Granger deal with traumas past and present and find they have more in common than they realize as they prepare for the ultimate confrontation with Voldemort. SSHG pairing. Not HBP compliant. This is a novel length story.

Synergy by Laurielove Hermione is being followed, and she suspects she knows by whom. But when they come face-to-face, how will she react to him and his startling request? SS/HG. M readers only, please. Written for the 2011 LJ SS/HG Exchange.

Post Tenebras, Lux by Loten "After Darkness, Light." A chance meeting ten years after the war may not be just a coincidence, and may prove to have very far-reaching consequences. A story of many things, but primarily of healing. SS/HG; rated M for later chapters. Complete.

For the Potions Master's Amusement by snape.submiss Now Complete! Severus Snape is not a kind man, but Hermione Granger is past caring. She wants his approval and will do anything to get it. How far will she go? Even she has no concept of the depths to which she will fall in her quest.

Latent Loveliness by Ladyreason Bellatrix gets in one last curse before her defeat which causes Hermione to fall into a deep sleep... She'll only awaken to one man's kiss. And boy, will she awaken. eventual SSHG pairing

Babble On by Aurette One person's nervous tic, is another's nervous joy.

Liminal by Cybrokat Severus Snape keeps running into a student playing piano. Why does he stop to listen, and how does she respond when she is asked to invite him when she plays? And what about Voldemort? Here there be fluff, romance, drama, and angst.

Sins of the Father by Emmaficready 9 Months after the end of the war, a destitute Severus Snape, practically living rough, gets news that will change his life forever. Severus Snape Lives! / POST DH / EWE WARNINGS: Abuse, Neglect, Character Death, Rape, Sensitive/taboo topics.

The Marriage Law by teshara 020 rewrite and update! When Hermione Granger and Severus Snape are thrown together by the ill-conceived Marriage Law, no one doubts they'll make a good undercover team for the Order. No one suspects that they'll find mutual respect, love, and a plot to destroy the world. A story in 3 parts.

A wizard s trial by snapeophil Hermione is out after curfew when she witnesses something that will change her relationship to her DADA professor forever.

The Prisoner and the Occlumens by duskywolfdaemon Hermione's plans to spend her seventh year on the run with her friends are shattered when Severus Snape shows up with a proposal she cannot refuse. *AU 7th year with Hermione attending Hogwarts. Eventual SSHG. M for reasons. ***COMPLETE***

Unintentional Inveiglement by onecelestialbeing Takes places during the summer after OoTP, the Golden Trio is forced to stay in hiding at Grimmauld Place. Hermione (who is of age!) begins gravitating towards Snape without knowing why, and he attempts keeping her at arms length, but will be able to remain doing so? AU

Innocent Shadows by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse "You'll sort everything. Gods, Hermione, you fought five Death Eaters to a standstill *and* defended and saved Snape."/ "Professor Snape."/ Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes. That." He waved his hand at the bed. "So this? Piece of cake." /Marriage Law /ss/hg HEA...always *grin*

Turned Over by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse Severus Snape inherited Hermione Granger at three o'clock on a rain-soaked Saturday morning in March. SS/HG HEA...Always :) COMPLETE

The Irony by awakethelion Hermione Granger gets stuck in her Animagus form and is put in the care of the only one strong enough to control her - Severus Snape. The over-achieving know-it-all Gryffindor, is, in the eyes of Hogwarts student body, home taking care of her ill parents, while in reality she is now living life posing as Professor Snape's familiar. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters.

Camerado by MillieJoan Hermione seeks knowledge from a reluctant Snape in order to help the War effort. What she receives is more than either of them expected. Set beginning in Hermione's sixth year, continuing into a slightly AU post-DH era.

Unto Their Own by CRMediaGal The Light has fallen, Darkness abounds, and Hermione Granger is struggling to survive in a far more sinister Wizarding world. When she is sentenced into Snape's charge, Hermione begins to wonder if everything is truly as it seems. For better or worse, their worlds are about to collide, perhaps even unite them against a common enemy. AU, Post-Hogwarts, Rated M.

Vixen by SLovingLecter After her parent's deaths Hermione is bound and trapped in her Animagus form, first for her own safety, then to ensure the safety of others during the war. Who is she bound to? Severus Snape, of course.

Another Dream by dragoon811 Due to his injuries, Severus is unable to resume his old life. He's determined to be lonely and miserable, but the yearly Order Christmas party becomes a bright spot, thanks to Hermione Granger. Complete. 

The Prisoner and the Occlumens by duskywolfdaemon Hermione's plans to spend her seventh year on the run with her friends are shattered when Severus Snape shows up with a proposal she cannot refuse. *AU 7th year with Hermione attending Hogwarts. Eventual SSHG. M for reasons. ***COMPLETE***

Entangled by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse No doubt, she'd been showing off obscure spells she found in the archives, again. Apparently, she did that whilst drunk. Hermione never yet had any memory of it. / SS/HG HEA...Always :)

Time Immemorial by FawkesyLady Hermione loses it after the Battle of Hogwarts. Unfortunately, she still had that time turner and she uses it, sending her back in time, a mystery for the denizens of Hogwarts, circa 1976. OC's are important. Please note, chapters 21-26 could be considered crossovers with JRR Tolkien's Return of the King. In for long haul, y'all. Nominee for Marauder's Medal 2018, Best WIP.

The Offer of Just One More by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse The feeling in her chest twisted. Tightened. Ronald Weasley didn't want children. SS/HG HEA...Always :) This one's a slow burn.

Time's Hammer by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse She was about to break the time stream. Not just break it, but take a bloody hammer to it. SS/HG HEA...Always :)

Clash of the Conjurers by llorolalluvia In a world where the mere flap of a butterfly's wing can cause a hurricane on the other side of the globe, can one simple glance save a man's life? When Hermione and her professor are forced together against their will, can they overcome their differences, find order amidst the chaos, and save the Wizarding World? not Cannon compliant. Rated M for sexuality and violence. DUBCON!

Turned Over by IShouldBeWritingSomethingElse Severus Snape inherited Hermione Granger at three o'clock on a rain-soaked Saturday morning in March. SS/HG HEA...Always :) COMPLETE

One Step Forward, Two Decades Back by corvusdraconis AU/AO: [HG/SS] What-if Story. Hermione Granger gets erased due to a badly phrased, vague, and bitter wish. She is Hermione Granger no more. Now, thanks to Ron, she is Hermione Ankaa Black, sister of Sirius & Regulus Black, & member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. Now what is she going to do? Multiple pairings in later chapters, and JP starts out as a rampaging jerk.

Absinthe by Aurette A dark deed on a dark night sends two lives spinning out of control. To forge a future, both must confront their pasts. AU, EWE, SS/HG, HEA

The Love You Take by Subversa Hermione is cursed by the Death Eaters, and Dumbledore believes Professor Snape is the only one who can help her and keep her safe. Hermione is 18 years old in this story, but she is still a student.   

[voidaus]

Final Goodbyes

Summary: Your a Youtuber and in a stream you see this pen-pal app and download it, creating an account. This all happened months ago. The guy you met on there was amazing, and you talked for months until he just... stopped.

Genre: Angst?

warnings: swearing, fighting

Requested? No

Word count: 1402

I believe everyone deserves a second chance. No matter how difficult things are. No matter how ugly things got. But maybe sometimes, the problem is that I believe too much. Seeing good in every person, while of course, some people are just... not good.

But that's not how this story goes. No, he is good. I am a hundred percent sure of that. The question is, 'is he willing to change and show that side of him?'. I guess we won't find out if I don't reach out to him huh?

The grey laptop is on my couch, still warm from the last time I used it just an hour ago. Grabbing myself some hot chocolate I lay down on the soft pillows and pull my blanket up to my chest. Whilst finally deciding I'm comfortable in this position I grab the laptop again and open it, typing in my password. The device starts up, letting me in.

"miaow" a soft purring comes from the ground. My cat, Athena, jumps on the couch as soon as I pat it. "Hey there gorgeous" I greet her. The laptop dings, making it clear that it's ready to be used. I give it my full attention again. Should I really open Zaira?

Zaira is an online penpal app where you can anonymously make friends. I signed up about 2 years ago and never really managed to find someone I really hit it off with. You know, I just couldn't find the words to talk to any of the people who messaged me. My anxiety not really helping with making friends, of course, I thought meeting them online would be easier. I was wrong. 

No one understood me, which isn't really surprising. I'm a bookworm, but also a gamer. I have lots of hobbies but not quite the energy to pursue them. The only thing that still has me uploading videos and streaming is the money and my supporters. My supporters standing first on the list, of course. I upload mostly gaming videos under the name Void. I go faceless. I never really liked my appearance for that matter.

I hesitate but still open it. The familiar logo greets me and only a moment after that my only friend on the site shows up, bringing back memories.

Zaira? What's this? "An online penpal app where you can add strangers and make friends. Now free in the AppStore!" I read the description out loud for my viewers. "Should I download it guys?" I ask the live chat, hoping they would say yes. Soon enough I get the confirmation from them and I click the button, hoping it won't take too long to download. I create a profile typing in my bio: 'Bookworm, Gamer, Weeb :)' The chat confirms that that pretty much describes me making me laugh. "Perhaps we can actually meet some cool people on here guys! Who knows?""Alright." I scroll through the site, reading people's bios until one of them spots the fans' eyes. The comments are going crazy fast right now. "click them!""omg Void, you have to message Sasori!" and more comments like that. I click on the profile, reading it's bio. Their given name is Sasori Matsudo. I laugh, explaining to some of the viewers that don't watch anime that these are names from Naruto and Death Note. "I suggest you watch them. those are some good animes!".

I smile at the memories and click on his profile. "Sasori Matsudo" the name rolls off my tongue. I chuckle "not a weeb huh?" Slowly looking through the messages, the familiar empty feeling enters my body again. To be honest, it never left. Ever since the fight, it was always there, following my every step. I close my eyes, letting the painful memories flood in again.

"I just don't understand why you can't talk about it with me!" your voice is slightly raised as you hold the phone in your shaking hand. "Because I just can't, okay! I can't keep throwing all of my shit onto you. you know I could never do that!" The man you know as Corpse yells back. You're both stressed out and upset, and this is the worst fight you ever had. You had decided to message 'Sasori Matsudo' on Zaira, and you two grew close very quickly. After 4 months of chatting on the site, he gave you his number. Not long after, he told you That he's the famous Youtuber known as Corpse Husband. You began to watch his videos and enjoyed them a lot, telling him so. In the fifth month of you two knowing each other, You started to call each other once in a while. That turned into calling every day, and soon you were calling more than 4 hours a day.

Your voice softens at his upset tone, realizing you're not the only one hurt here. You give a deep sigh before talking into your phone again. "I'm always here for you Corpse. I don't care how many times you call me, even if it's in the middle of the night. You make me feel better, you make me happy, and I want to be there for you. Please don't shut me out like this." you're practically begging at this point. He can't shut you out! Not like this.

"Void... You know I love you. Please, keep doing what you're doing, keep making videos and baking, and all the little things I love about you. But I just can't continue doing this to you. I'm sorry." He speaks up. The low voice you adore so much is soft and trembling. He sounds like he could break down crying any time now. "No, please, Corpse! Please don't leav-"

your phone lets out a long beep cutting you off. Breaking down crying, you hurl your hand against your mouth, attempting to silence your sobs. On the other side of the line, the man with the curly black mop on his head is doing the same. Tears flow down both of your eyes as void fills your hearts.

It hurts, but he knows he had to do this. He was always troubling you with his feelings, and he couldn't even show you his face! What kind of friend is that? Loud sobs take over his apartment, as his heart hurts, knowing he can't talk to you again.

And he didn't.

You lay on the couch, clenching your blanket awfully hard. You don't notice the tears streaming down your face till Athena climbs onto your lap and licks them off. You cuddle her in an attempt to comfort yourself, as the dark feeling in your chest grows stronger. 

You open a new tab and type in his number. All the old messages show up. He probably blocked you, but you have to try. He wanted you to be happy, but then why did he leave you?!

After that night, he never messaged you again. Did he really not want to talk to you anymore? You ask yourself.

But all Corpse has been doing is lay in bed and upload videos once in a while. His followers noticed something is off, and so has his friends. He's acting off whenever he streams and rarely jokes around anymore. 

You text him a simple 'how are you' and close your laptop after. The next day you check if he's replied. Nothing. You keep checking for two weeks, but nothing comes in. It's over. He's not coming back. You begin sobbing and lift yourself from the couch, scaring a sleeping Athena. You jog to the kitchen and shove everything off the counter, breaking some cups and plates in the process. Sliding down against the sink, you put your face in your hands, letting out an ear-piercing scream. The weight of the world is crashing down on you, and all you can do is cry and scream. The daydream is finally over.

Corpse saw your message.  He's tried messaging you so many times, but each time he holds himself back. All he wants is to talk to you, but he knows he shouldn't. Well, that's what he believes is best. Every day he thinks about you, thinking that you have already forgotten him, though it's the opposite. You think about him every day, remembering all of the memories. 

All the laughs and all the cries. All the comforts, to final goodbyes.

Hey Guys! I hope you're okay after this lil angsty piece of crap lmao. I tried my best. Anyways, if you have any comments or feedback, I always appreciate it! Oh, and 200 notes on 'Grocery Shopping'?!!??? Y'all are crazy, thank you so much!

If you liked this, my taglist is always open and so are my requests!

@persephone-sideblog @reinyrei @cherry-piee @alienvarmint @divine-artemis @milanienne

[genesisrose74]

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[evendeadlmthehero]

The Ghost (Headcannon)

Mandalorian x Blind!Reader

Summary: you are a blind assassin who was sent to capture a 50 year old target. You then become the target’s number one guardian, protecting him from bounty hunters like The Mandalorian himself.

Ultimate Masterlist

Note: this character is inspired by my girl Natasha Romanoff and my man Matt Murdock

-you were eight when the imperial army had dropped chemical substances in your village.

-on that day, you lost your parents and your sight.

-many people have taken advantage from the fact that you were blind and vulnerable. Many people have, except for one person; your Master.

-he taught you how to see a different way; through vibrations and pressure change in the atmosphere.

-at the age of 16, you were a master assassin, taking down notorious figures. You were known as Ghost, because everyone knew you existed, they just didn’t know who you were or what you looked like

-or that you were blind

-you were stealthy, mostly due to your ballet training and the black skin tight suit that enabled you to blend into the night

-you were quiet and did the job with no mess. All of them assigned to you by your master.

-you preferred to fight with knives. The only time you liked guns is if they were big guns

-one day you were assigned a secret mission by your master; to extract a certain individual.

-he never told you who the target was

-but you did as you were told and followed the tracker

-it took you to a village full of fighters in the middle of the desert

-instead of fighting those individuals, you quietly sneaked inside the village; jumping, flipping and bending your way into the room where the target was

-you made your way into the room where you felt the presence of an individual who had yet to see you.

-you quietly ran up to him before striking him on the vagus nerve with enough force to have him go unconscious

-you caught him before he could fall on the ground. Yes, indeed you were quiet and stealthy. No one ever saw you coming.

-you then followed the beacon to where your target was. But it was odd, because you didn’t feel the presence of an old man like your master had said

-you only let the presence of a child

-you lifted your arms up to feel the target, hearing a soft coo when your fingers brushed against it’s pointy ears.

-that was the day you betrayed your Master.

-you tried to convince the village that you would protect the child.

-It took them a while, but after six months of fighting bounty hunters and successfully eliminating them with barely no effort, you became the child’s number one protector and earned the Village’s trust

-this resulted in an even bigger bounty on your head than the child’s

-then one day, when you’re feeding the child, you heard a ruckus

-you hide the child in his little carriage before you yourself hid on the ledger near the ceiling

-a mandolarian and a robot entered. They chatted for a couple of minutes before the robot lifted a gun at the child.

-your child

-you grabbed the knife that you hid in the strap of your thigh and threw it directly in the back of the robots head

-the Mando quickly turned around, grabbing a gun to point it from the source; but there was no one there

-he was confused and turned around to look back at the baby only to see you standing there, holding a knife to his throat

-he was confused. The infamous Ghost was just a really gorgeous girl?

-did he emphasise on gorgeous?

-and that suit? Oh god that suit

-no wonder no one had caught you yet. You look innocent, vulnerable, no one would expect that you were an assassin

-“If your kind wasn’t almost extinct, I would have killed you now,” you whispered to him, venom laced in your voice. “So leave before I kill you.”

-the child tugged your thigh strap, making you distracted for a moment

-and in that moment, Mando electrocuted you

-he took you and the child back to whoever had assigned the bounty. He had placed a mouth guard around your mouth and bounded both your legs and wrists.

-it was a quiet ride back, you wouldn’t even make a noise

-when he had finally completed the mission and dropped you guys off, he felt guilty

-you could’ve killed him that day, but you didn’t. Because you respected the Mandalorian clan. And the child? The child was so little and defenceless, and without a family.

-so he went back to break out both you and the child.

-he found you with multiple bruises and cuts littered around your body, unconscious. You were in a white dress gown, which had blood splatters across it

-god he felt terrible

-he put you in one of those bed rollers and broke you and the child out

-he also grabbed your black stealth suit along the way. Didn’t want you in that god awful gown

-and he thought the suit was hot (not that he’d ever admit it)

-he was steering the plane when he heard you cough

-he then stood up, walking towards you

-“wh- where am I?” You spoke as you furiously looked around. This wasn’t the cell that had put you in. No, you were on a plane. And you can feel the child in your presence along with another.

-“you-you’re blind?” Mando spoke in shock, as he watched you look around. He couldn’t believe you were blind when you could fight so well

-“you,” you spoke out with hatred, grabbing the pillow that you were previously laying on.

-you ran up to him, sliding down on your knees before quickly turning around to use the back of his knee as a leverage

-you then jumped from the back of his knee, before wrapping your legs around his neck. You then tried to suffocate him with the pillow

-you then felt your hands being pushed away from the man’s face. You looked up to see the child, using his powers on you to stop you from killing him

-Mando took the opportunity to grab you off his neck and forcefully, yet gently, place you on the ground

-“I’m- sorry,” Mando apologised, as you looked at him with anger, your breathing still quick. “I’m sorry for- taking you and the child. So- I’ll let you use this plane to find a safe haven for you and the child. You have my word.”

-your eyes were still filled with anger until you saw the child hug onto Mando’s leg. Mando retracted a bit, not used to affection.

-if the child trusts him, maybe you could too?

-“fine. But if I sense one ounce of disloyalty I will kill you,” you promised.

-he then took you to a place called Sorgan, a quiet little village

-you felt how tired he was based on his voice as he walked inside the hut that you, the child and Mando were given

-you then left the baby to play with the children whilst you carried two plates of food into the hut

-“I bought you some food,” you spoke as you placed the plate in front of him

-“Thank you,” he replied back. He watched as you sat down and begun eating. He didn’t touch his food, only watching you eat

-“are you doing to eat?” You asked him, as you realised he wasn’t eating. “I’m blind, remember? You can take off that helmet of yours.”

-Mando was taken back. He hadn’t eaten with someone in years.

-last time was with his parents.

-his hands shakingly went up to reach his helmet, ready to take it off. You heard the soft hiss of his helmet, before a metal thud near the table

-his heart was beating loudly and you could hear it

-“Mando if you don’t feel comfortable with me eating here, it’s fine I can leave-“

-“No!” He interrupted you, his voice more clearer now that he didn’t have the modulator. “I- I just haven’t eaten with someone in- years.”

-your heart dropped slightly, feeling bad for the man. Now determined to eat with him everyday. “Well now you have a blind friend.”

-friend, Mando had kept repeating in his head. A word so foreign to him.

-and everyday after that day, you made sure you ate with him.

-and everyday after you ate with him, he’d always reply with a small ‘thank you.’

-“you don’t have to thank me everytime I eat with you, you know”

-“Yeah well- I want to.”

-you guys were eating dinner in Tatooine as the child slept in his room

-“Mando?” You had asked him as you finished your food. He let out a soft hum. “Can I- Can I touch your face? You know, to picture what you look like?”

-Mando was taken back, red filling up his cheeks. No one has ever touched him before, making his heart pound against his chest. “Y-yes.”

-you moved over towards him, your fingertips grazing gently against his chin, his jaw, up his to his cheekbones

-your fingers then skimmed against his eyelashes, down to his nose before reaching his lips that were breathing heavily.

-“Mando?”

-“y-yes?”

-“I think you’re beautiful.”

-he gulped heavily, studying your face. His trembling hand then pushed your hair back. “You can call me Dyn.”

-“Dyn,” you whispered, testing the name on your lips. Dyn felt blood rush throughout his body as you spoke his name

-he didn’t know how you could have this effect on him. He was a bounty hunter, a Mandalorian. He was fearless and showed no emotion

-but as soon as you said his name, he had butterflies

-everything was going smoothly, you and Dyn fighting side by side as bounty hunters tried to find you guys and the baby

-until one day you were all surrounded by stormtroopers

-and Dyn experiences a massive blow to his head.

-“I-I’m not going to make it,” Dyn groaned as you cried. You shook your head at him.

-“No- no I’m not leaving you, you idiot!”

-“leave me,” he spoke, a hand grabbing your cheek as he slowly caressed it. You both knew that deep down you liked each other, liked each other more than friends. But both of you never acted on it. “You make sure the child is safe.”

-“Here.” He spoke, giving you a necklace. “When you get to the Mandalorian covert, you show them that. You tell them it's from Din Djarin. You tell them the foundling was in my protection, and they'll help you.

-“I-I can’t leave you Dyn,” you shook your head furiously, streams of tears against your face.

-“I'm not gonna make it and you know it. You protect the child. I can hold them back long enough for you to escape. Let me have a warrior's death.”

-“I won't leave you,” you protested.

-“I- I love you Y/N Y/L/N.”

-“I love you too Dyn,” you spoke, you then looked at Cara and the rest. “You guys go, we’ll catch up on you.”

-Cara nodded before leaving with the child

-“Y/N, this is the way-“

-“shut up,” you spoke before taking off his helmet. You felt the back of his neck, warm liquid in your hands. You then closed your eyes, trying to focus on the vibrations and pressure. “You have slight damage in your cerebellum. Nothing Bacta spray won’t fix.”

-you then sprayed were the wound is, both of you quiet. Your tears now dry against your face, your nose still red.

-you were furious at him for wanting to die that easily and leave you alone. And he knew

-“Y/N-“

-you interrupted him, your lips against his.

-his heart was pounding against his rib cage, this being his first ever kiss. He didn’t know what to do.

-but then slowly he begun following your lead, hoping that he wasn’t too horrible of a kisser

-you then pulled back, your forehead against his

-“if you ever tell me to leave you again Dyn I swear to god I’ll kill you myself,” you spoke, your voice shaking. “You and the child are the only good thing I have in my life. Please- please don’t leave me.”

-“I won’t.”

[alluringjae]

[ 22:38 ] ⮕ [ 23:28 ]

part of my collection of cookie cuts from all i do is wait

in order to understand, read the main story first here.

pairing: ghost!doyoung x female!reader

genre: thriller, angst, fluff in the end

warnings: mentions and scenes of murder

author’s note: for readers of all i do is wait, i have a surprise for you this weekend!! but first, enjoy the first cookie cut of the week as there are a few more to come! 

this is semi-unedited lol

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

--

1980s

“The Justice Department made their final verdict.” The judge in the middle peered over to his sides, where two other judges sat.

On the other hand, your hands clasped in a prayer position under your desk. Your deep breathes were hushed, hiding your already evident nerves. Mark, the defendant on behalf of Johnny, picked up on it and placed a palm on top of your shaking leg.

“We’re going to win, you know it.”

A public attorney like yourself would never take a case for those with high power, plus you’ll also share the limelight with them when the media deemed it scandalous or viral. Seo Industries, started at building 3 floor apartment buildings and now known for their high-rise buildings, practically expanded in most of Seoul. It’s hard not to avoid seeing a building or those who hold power behind it. Currently, it was Johnny and Mark’s stepmother, Bae Seojin and their stepbrother, Seo Kihyun.

However, this trial was to prove and persuade everyone that they were the culprits involved with the murders of Seo Hyunsik and Seo Johnny, the real heir.

Earlier, you succeeded in exposing the last yet crucial evidence of the case. It involved a box concealed deep inside a wall of the old bedroom of Johnny, whom you found out through Kun. There’s really an adrenaline rush when you’re working for both the living and the dead.

No need for a search warrant for an abandoned old house, they found it. Inside that box, there was a letter he wrote before he died claiming that whoever finds it, they must submit all the files they see. One was a journal recording all his stepmother and stepbrother’s private discussions in their family study, stating that there was a hidden access way only he and his father knew of and snuck behind them. All led to discussing how to assassinate him, his father and Mark.

He did this best to avoid it, but it took one miscalculation to ruin it.

Second were copies of the receipts of their earlier corruption and embezzlement when he snuck inside the company late at night. Last showed names of people they’ve both threatened and killed when they were being blackmailed of their crimes.

Their lawyer objected that the handwriting of said man was questionable, implying you and your team planted it. You saw this coming, bringing out a document from forensics confirming that this letter was written by the late Seo Johnny.

For every murder, there’s a murder device. Deeply digging through the ones from the old crime scene, it came out that they were inserted because no fingerprints from either Johnny or his father were there. Plus, the autopsy results detected signs of self-defense on Johnny’s body and mixture of his blood with Kihyun’s during their brawl. Possibly another reason the case was closed by bribery since there were documents connecting the former detectives and Bae Seojin.

According to Johnny, he witnessed everything that happened when he died. It was a memory he selfishly dreaded to look back, but he had no choice if he were to clear his and his father’s names and save Mark. He articulated how Kihyun buried the real knives under the fountain in their backyard, the only place no one checked. With the help of Kun and your team, you scavenged through it, even destroying such a delicate piece, and wrapped in brown newspaper, there the knives were.

Rush checking them by forensics, they also validated the fingerprints of Seojin and Kihyun.

Their lawyer objected again for the same reason of planting it, but according to Mark’s testimony, Johnny loved their garden fountain as it was the last reminder of their mother before her sudden death. Practically anyone close to Johnny knew how much he treasured it. It only made sense how in Kihyun’s perspective, he wanted to make his enemy’s beloved gift become his most hated one. Not only that, footsteps of said man were stated in the former investigation.

With the influx of evidence, not even their lawyer could refute. The way the judges pursued their lips and nodded, you had done it again. Seojin and Kihyun were cornered, the outrage from the audience at such an organized crime. Kihyun lost it as he was on the stand.

“Johnny-hyung always got the praise from my late father! Even if Johnny-hyung was so kind to me, I could never return it. I also never felt good enough, and even when he married my mother, deep down he always missed his former wife. My mother and I feared that we will be left nothing, so she suggested what we must to survive.”

“And to survive, you blatantly decided to murder them? After everything they’ve done for you, all the kindness they’ve given, you selfishly took their lives?”

“I deserved a spot in the business as much as hyung did, but never was I capable of killing and blinded by power if it weren’t for my mother’s hatred for Johnny and my father! Then with Mark unintentionally seeing everything, we had to take him hostage all these years so nothing could ever be revealed.”

“Unlucky for you, Mr. Seo Kihyun. You did it yourself, you and your guilt.”

Kihyun could’ve argued back intensely if it weren’t for the judge banging his gavel repeatedly to return the order.

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. After decades of being misled to the idea that Seo Johnny killed his father and himself over a stupid fight of inheritance, it was a complex murder case involving his stepbrother and stepmother for the reason that they craved more power and superiority and would do anything to claim it.

Going back to the judges’ decision, two defendants were requested to stand up to hear the fate.

“Defendants, Bae Seojin and Seo Kihyun, expressed their jealousy and want for power towards the victims and brutally stabbed them multiple times. From there, they took the only witness hostage and mistreated him for years whilst keeping most of the victim’s hard-earned money for themselves. Due to the brutality of the crime, their hostile intentions, and the dishonor they brought to everyone, we are left with no choice but give them a severe punishment. The Justice Department finds them guilty and believes they must be detached from our society, thus we sentence them to life imprisonment.”

As the judge hit the gavel, it was officially final.

Everyone on your side cheered as the two guilty offenders were dragged away by guards. You and Mark shared a tight hug in victory, hearing his muffled sobs. He’s waited for this day to come.

“Johnny-hyung is clear, he got his long-deserved justice.”

Kun, who stood behind you, gave you a hug over the small fence after a successful trial, a few invisible people in the back were also triumphant.

“She did it.” Manwol applauded, peeking over Jeno and Yuta jumping up and down while Johnny in tears while Doyoung teared up with him. Joyful, Johnny’s pain subsided entirely. The speechless reactions of his stepmother and everyone else after his stepbrother broke under the pressure was a strong contender to his glory, but mostly, it was because of your intelligence and persistence.

You worked day and night, visited numerous areas, and investigated any possible leads to go hand in hand with his own evidence. In Doyoung’s embrace, he murmured, “Thank you, Doyoung. Just thank you.”

“You only deserve the best before you move on, Johnny.”

“I see why you love her so much, sincerely.” Separating, Johnny overlooked to you bowing to Mark and his family. “Don’t lose faith right now in your journey. You’ve come so far, my friend.”

Doyoung, who watched you proudly walking out from the court while numerous cameras were trying to interview you, couldn’t refrain from admiring you. You’ve really grown into a stronger woman day by day.

“I have no plans to do such, Johnny. I have to see every new great moment she makes next.”

[prose-for-hire]

An impassioned debate

Pairing: Giles x Spike (”platonic” but they’re arguing lol)

Request: Spike & Giles bicker fest a la missing moments from when they were housemates, please?

Requested by: @staycalmandbeafan 

Warning: Sex references.

A/N: Sometimes when I write I assume the attitude of one of the characters. Therefore, Spike doesn’t always appear in a good light lol (It was fun to write though and I got a little carried away sorry) 💜🖤

Giles liked to live alone.

He had grown up living with his parents. He had roommates in university. He even flat-shared in the communal house him and the friends he hung around at the time broke into and claimed as their own in his early twenties.

And that, is exactly how Giles knew he liked to live alone. Some days he could barely tolerate the young people that no matter how fond of them he was, would go on about pointless and often arbitrary nonsense in his presence.

His home then, became his sanctuary. A place where he could shut out the world.

That was until one fateful day in the all-too recent past. Thanksgiving day. A day where the Americans gave thanks for the parts of their lives they are grateful for. He thought he ought to partake in tradition and suggested how grateful he was for Buffy and the others.

A silent, more self-indulgent thanks was to the peace and quiet he would get at the end of the day. His house to himself, not shackled by parents. Kept up all hours by housemates or forced into copious amounts of overly emotional performance at the hands of the well-intentioned Americans.

This silent thought was shattered as a thud at the door announced an unwelcome visitor.

That’s how Giles ended up with a new houseguest. The vampire chained to his tub. A tub he had been very fond of until Spike had come in and ruined with his stench. He was probably the only person that smelt this bad after spending this amount of time in the bathtub.

It would be fair to say that Giles hadn’t been a very welcoming host, but to put it in context, despite being ‘harmless’ Spike had tried to bite Giles not once, but twice. Upon the first attempt being a near-miss and the second ending in blinding pain for the corpse-faced lunatic, he had the gall to tell Giles that he would taste like a dried up old prune anyway.

There was also the incident on Thanksgiving day itself where he managed to eat half a plate of cookies before anyone had the chance to stop him. A miraculous feat when you note that his hands and feet were bound tight.

These were, for the most part issues that Giles could look past. Especially now he was sure that Spike was unable to actually harm him. But what he couldn’t get past were, well, every other area that involved living with Spike.

The issues could be divided as such: Eating habits; sleeping habits; general depravity and what one could only describe as ‘The Passions debate’.

We should probably begin with the sleeping habits:

Or lack thereof. Spike was cat-like in the sense that he didn’t usually get a full night’s, or days, sleep. He tended to sleep a couple hours here or there seemingly whenever he pleased. Which meant that when he was tied up after dark, the vampire had a whole lot of thoughts and nowhere else to go so he seemingly spoke them out loud.

Giles tossed and turned in his bed desperately clinging to sleep, able for the most part to ignore the constant babbling of Spike’s innermost thoughts. Which actually amounted to shagged someone, shagged someone oh I drank some blood, shagged someone.

It was utterly mind numbing and Giles was beginning to feel that should he ever get out of this arrangement alive he would look into finding a house in the middle of a deserted island. Never to return to civilisation.

Giles managed to mostly ignore the fanged menace. Until the singing started. Or, what Giles would only call tuneless hollering. He butchered every punk song known to man and some surprisingly sugary pop ballads that Giles wouldn’t dare comment on, less he revealed that he himself knew the songs lyrics too.

He actually started singing to pass the time, it was lyrical to begin with but as the night wore on he started to shout the words, the tune lost. Sacrificed to a greater goal. Irritation.

He grinned when Giles padded downstairs to try to silence the din.

“Alright, Rupert? Here for dinner and a show?”

“I’m going to gag you” Giles warned. Something they had already had numerous arguments over.

“Well, you’re really gonna have to take me out to that dinner then” Spike smirked at Giles’ disdain for his words, moving his head slightly at the man’s reaction.

“Will you shut up! For God’s sake, man, be quiet!” Giles shouted, sleep-deprivation and living with someone that had more fangs than brains made him more and more irate. It made Spike smile even further, his next words making Giles about three seconds from throttling him (which, wouldn’t have killed him but it would have been very satisfying for Giles).

“Well, seein’ as you’re awake and all and got nothing better to do, be a love and get me some blood?” Spike cackled. Giles stopped himself from going near Spike and instead trailed to the kitchen, hoping it would at least shut him up for five minutes.

Which brings us nicely along to eating habits:

“I like a bit of texture in it!” Spike had shouted one morning. His blood was steaming but Giles had returned back into the kitchen with it to add something to try and get a moment’s peace.

He had been playing a very enjoyable game of see how many times he can send the same mug of blood back before Giles realised he was only doing it to annoy him. The highest score had been 3 times and only, in Giles’ defence, because the man hadn’t been properly awake that morning.

Giles had hit Spike twice (which was very tame considering the horror that was a feral vampire that wasn’t used to being in a domestic setting). Once because of the aforementioned incident and the second time after a particularly heated debate that we will discuss later.

Spike had been lounging on the sofa again, getting crumbs all over his chair. Giles swung his feet and made him sit up as he spoke.

“Will you bloody-”

“Oh don’t start conjuring those sweet massacres in my mind, Rupes, makes a fella’s hunger unbearable” He rubbed his stomach that did in fact appear to be gurgling at the mere mention of the word.

Spike, when he was allowed out of his restraints and Giles saw it was too much like hard work to be waiting on Spike all of the time, began to make his own meals. Which, really, just created more of a mess. And a distinct lack of Weetabix around the house.

He created the worst combinations known to man, sometimes to annoy Giles and other times to just see how it went. He sprayed cans of whipped cream in his mouth left over from Thanksgiving, ate crackers with every topping he found in the house and made sure to use the least amount of manners as possible whilst doing so.

Which brings us onto the section Giles would entitle, Spike’s ‘generally depraved character’:

Giles was still in the habit of tying Spike up at night, but he had subsequently allowed him to walk around in the day after a while.

There had been one evening where Spike ran through the entire house, struggling at every turn so that Giles couldn’t tie him up again. He was bored and it was fun making the human chase him. Eventually he was cuffed and tied to his chair and left there through the day so that it didn’t happen again.

Luckily, Spike had gotten bored of that game and just let Giles tie him up at night again now. Not without comment, of course.

“Call that a knot? I’ve had tighter curls, mate” Spike rolled his eyes as Giles looked over the glasses perching on the end of his nose. He then reached and tightened the knot by a lot making Spike yelp and scowl at him.

“Hey! You can’t just leave me like this – I’m getting’ rope burn here!” he shouted as he struggled, thus giving himself worse rope burn.

“Ah, yes and what’re you going to do about it, Spike, hm? Serenade me to death?” Giles rolled his eyes in disdain. He rolled his shoulders, adjusting his position with a scowl stamped on his face. 

He watched Giles get back to reading his paper. He let him get a few lines in before he interrupted him this time.

“Not exactly the five star digs I’m used to” Spike said which made Giles scoff. He had seen many of the places Spike had called home and none of them were fit for burying a corpse in let alone housing a living one.

“I can untie you and you can just leave, Spike, I’m sure burning to a crisp would really show me what for” Giles muttered, focusing on the paper he had been trying to read.

“Oh, I see you. Thinking you’re better than me – smarter. Anyone can read books, they don’t make it their whole sodding personality. You’re a good ol’ British stereotype, Rupes,”

“Ah, yes, well, many people can read Spike but it takes a particularly impervious individual to be so oblivious to their own misgivings that they result in insulting themselves in the same breath as their foe”

Spike rolled his eyes at the use of the word ‘foe’ but kept silent for a while. It was a rare silence and Giles made the most of it. Savoured it. He wasn’t sure if it was the big words that had evaded him or just the fact that his insult had resonated. But he didn’t say these thoughts out loud, less he would have to listen to Spike’s sparkling wit.

However, lo and behold, Spike suddenly spoke up again. 

“You know what I miss?” Spike asked, leaving Giles sighing audibly and putting his unread book back down. He had tried several times to read the same line.

“No, but I assume that you’re about to enlighten me”

“Civil wars”

“What?!” Giles asked incredulously, taking his glasses from his face just so he didn’t have to look at the vampire who appeared to be staring up at the ceiling and reminiscing.

“Yeah” No nodded, “There’s just something about a civil war… could be the fear. Aphrodisiac, it is”

“I’m not sure I agree-”

“Probably ‘cause you’d be the one doing the fearing you great ponce”

“Now-” Giles was ready to launch into a barrage of insults, using all of his wit to ground Spike into the pile of dust and ash he was destined to be. But then, he took a breath. He decided to hit Spike where it hurt, “That’s it! No more television”

“What?!” Spike shouted, his eyes bulging in horror, “You can’t do that, I’m dyin’ here gramps-!”

“You’re already dead”

“Yeah, well, now I’m rotting away here with the living. I mean, you’ve aged – I saw your graduation photo in the hall. It’s like lookin’ in a particularly haunting mirror when I see you” Spike spoke smugly of the way his face hadn’t aged despite being older than Giles.

There was a stony silence for a while. Giles went quiet. When Giles went quiet, he was mad. The kind that could become insidious. His fists curled and his mind raced. Blood pumping hot around his body.

But, after a moment, he resolved himself. Spike wasn’t worth Ripper making an appearance. No, Spike wasn’t worth anything.

“Why don’t you read something, or perhaps figure out how to count past two?” Giles offered, stepping away from where the tv was now staying off. Spike’s face turned sour at the prospect of another afternoon with his thoughts.

“How about four?” Spike asked, flipping the v’s with both arms raised at the man who looked like he was about to thump his guest yet again.

“You’re a piece of work, Spike”

“Thanks” Spike nodded, still looking at Giles expectantly, waiting for the television to be turned back on. But when he turned way and started to look busy Spike’s mood changed.

“Come on, it’s telly time!” Spike shouted but Giles just took his jacket and left the house for the rest of the day. Leaving Spike bored and trying to avoid the patches of sunlight where Giles had ‘accidentally’ opened some of the curtains on different levels of the house.

When Giles eventually began to turn the television back on for Spike, it leads us on to ‘The Passions debate’:

“Are you blind willingly or are you truly this ignorant?!” Giles shouted, his words directed at Spike but his eyes were glued to the screen. No matter how much he had fought it, Giles had been well and truly sucked into the fictional world.

“Don’t be a bloody idiot! It’s clear as sodding day that they’re meant to be together” Spike gestured wildly at the screen.

“Their relationship is forced – there is no real meaning there!” Giles insisted, much like most shows on television in his opinion.

“You got it all wrong - it’s fate, destiny or any of that bollocks”

“Ah, yes, that would be the latter”

“Don’t be daft, Ripper – have you seen them?! Pure chemistry. Nobody can act that good either, they’re shagging behind the scenes – mark my words”

“You really are as perceptive as a wooden spoon, Spike” Giles berated him.

“That’s rot, that is! They’re shagging no two ways about it”

“Two people can have chemistry and maintain a platonic relationship” Spike raised an eyebrow at him and Giles had become heated in the debate, “They are not bloody shagging!”

“Aw, does it bother you that fictional characters are getting more action than you?” Spike mock-pouted. Trying to rile the man up further. This was where it descended into chaos.

“Ah, fortunately I’m satisfied in the knowledge that there will always be someone that is worse-off than myself” Giles paused before asking, “Is Drusilla well?”

“Bugger off! That was low for an ex-watcher who gets all his happy feelings from a group of school children” Spike pounced on him, going for the jugular, “You spend an embarrassing amount of time with dear Buffy. I wonder, what could you be doin’ behind closed-”

Spike was cut off by a blow to his face. It sent him flying backwards and splintered the wooden chair he had been sat on into pieces.

“Out!” Giles demanded, face like thunder, “Out before I do something I wouldn’t regret!”

Both Spike and Giles eyed the weapons chest that was on the floor between them before looking back at the other. Both were trying to calculate how long it would take the other to get there. After a moment, Spike got to his feet and just slinked off to a different corner of the house until he got hungry and Giles went to walk off his anger.

That had been the last straw. Soon after this particular incident, Spike was shipped off the Xander’s basement. Giles finally got his house back. His wooden chair however, unfortunately never recovered.

[the-most-adorkable-smile]

I posted 20,901 times in 2021

13 posts created (0%)

20888 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1606.8 posts.

I added 104 tags in 2021

#eurovision - 34 posts

#eurovision 2021 - 25 posts

#discworld - 12 posts

#croki - 6 posts

#loki - 6 posts

#the mitchells vs the machines - 5 posts

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Longest Tag: 106 characters

#and it's for-profit universities and colleges siphoning money off their students for very little in return

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

PAGE A DAY: RELOADED

My previous efforts at writing a page a day have yielded mixed-to-poor results, so I’m starting again with another story. I’m also going to be putting it on my main blog (that’s here) in the hopes that I can get some feedback. To make sure I do it, I’m setting myself some ground rules:

- I’ve got to write at least one word each day. I know it’s not a page, but if I can write at least a word towards it I’ll have done something, and something is better than nothing.

- NO EDITS, not until I’ve finished the whole thing! I have terrible trouble just finishing a story - this time I want to finish, so I’m committing to not rewriting parts of this until I’ve finishing a first draft.

- I’ve gotta post something story-related each day. If I’ve only written one word it’s not gonna make me feel great to post, but I can always write about the characters, the world, the obstacles. So long as I can create a post about the story I can write just a little.

- Keep it fresh. It’ll be easier to write if I’m making it an exercise - practise styles, try different voices, see what works and what doesn’t. Once again, I can’t rewrite it until I’ve written everything else, but it’s a way to keep me writing.

- Answer questions. If any of you have questions about the story as I write it, I’ll answer them. Enthusiastic and interested readers will help motivate myself to write, so please ask questions if you got em!

That’s all for now. Story posts start on Sunday - I’ll be using the hashtag #Stolen Sword to mark them all (if you want to mute it - or read along!). If you’ve not read any of my writing before, some of it is on my other blog, @pageadaytale.

Working title is Stolen Sword, and it’s a fantasy story of dragons, witches, prophesies and dying to save the world.

2 notes • Posted 2021-04-12 20:57:58 GMT

#4

There's still a couple hours of the Glorious 25th left, so take two of my favorite passages from Night Watch:

4 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 20:55:57 GMT

#3

I have just gotten into the Discworld series, mostly because of Neil Gaiman's love and admiration for his dearly departed friend. I find them delightful and thought provoking. What is your favorite? I've read 4 so far. Also did you read them in publication order, or jump around?

Omg thank you for the question!

I tend to jump around when I read them, partly because I find some of the early ones difficult to get into but mainly because I love the City Watch books. I'm tempted to say my favourite is Night Watch, but I think I'm going to go for Men At Arms, for two reasons:

1) It's still early enough in the Watch series that Vimes is a plucky underdog;

2) The final confrontation against the villain is a homage to For a Few Dollars More, which is an absolutely brilliant film.

There are other reasons: I like the running theme of "personal isn't the same as important", and Vimes is at his best when he's actively opposing Vetinari's plans (or being not-so-subtly reverse-psychologied into carrying them out). There's some early-installment weirdness from Carrot, but also in this book he gets to demonstrate his cunning and Charisma whilst still policing by the book.

Anyway, I love the City Watch series and I recommend everyone read them bc they're brilliant stories, but they're also the platonic ideal of how policing should work - keeping the peace, rather than acting on the whims of a ruling elite.

5 notes • Posted 2021-11-16 17:33:01 GMT

#2

Lithuania and Iceland are what happen when you let nerds become internationally-recognised musicians.

5 notes • Posted 2021-05-22 20:29:08 GMT

#1

Ankh-Morpork: A Peaceful Transition of Power

Lately I’ve been wondering what happens when Vetinari dies.

The Disc still spins, borne ever onwards through space on the backs of four elephants who themselves stand on the shell of Great A’Tuin, the World Turtle, but what happens to Ankh-Morpork?

I don’t think riots, or a power vacuum - Lord Vetinari is too clever by half for that, he’s planned for this eventuality. There will be no struggle, no civil war; there will be a peaceful transition, and the city will continue to work.

My first thought was, “It’s obvious! Captain Carrot will take his rightful place as King!” But I can’t see that happening. For one, Carrot knows who he is and he has no desire to take up that role. For another, a King taking the throne of Ankh-Morpork would be such a world-shaking event that, much like the death of Granny Weatherwax, everyone across the Disc would feel it.

And I thought about everything we’ve learned about Vetinari through the City Watch books, and everything we’ve seen, and another thought struck me.

Who better to take over from Vetinari, than the kid who’s learned from the one who learned from the man himself?

Young Sam probably doesn’t go into the watch, at least not for a long time. It’s not that his dad wouldn’t approve - of course he would, following in his footsteps! - it’s just that it seems... unbecoming, the son of the Duke of Ankh a watchman. And sure, the Duke himself was a watchman, he commanded the Watch! But that’s... different. The Duke’s son should be lounging in carriages and waving to the people, or hobnobbing with the guild leaders at galas; he shouldn’t be skulking around in the shadows on a rainy night, feeling the cobbles through the soles of his shoes!

But Stoneface put his foot down on some things. Young Sam went to a regular school rather than the Assassin’s Guild, And of course it was at his father’s insistence that he spent a year as constable when he was old enough. But the family’s connections become his connections, and suddenly there’s a kid in the Watch who speaks to Lord and Lady Selachii with the same easy tone that he negotiates with Chrysoprase.

And before you know it, there’s a kid in Ankh-Morpork who knows the city better than anyone, and who knows everyone who’s anyone. And more importantly, who knows what makes people tick, in the deepest recesses of their heart...

I wonder if Vetinari realised, when he first made Vimes Sir Samuel. I wonder if he knew he was putting the pieces together to train his replacement.

144 notes • Posted 2021-04-20 07:37:07 GMT

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[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 2 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter Two 

~|Emily Fox|~

Tuesday mornings are somehow the worst. I don’t know if it’s because I spent too long at the Music Store cleaning up and trying to forget about the cute guy with the pretty eyes, or if it’s because the weekend is so freaking far, although closer than it was yesterday. “Hey, Muffin, time to get up. You got to get to school,” Uncle Mitch’s voice wakes me up that morning a second before my alarm goes off. I hate him for always coming in to wake me when I’ve got my alarm set for 7. “Thanks, Uncle Mitch. I’ll be down in a couple minutes,” I tell him with one eye open. “Promise me?” I open my other eye too, only to find him looking at me with that worried look in his eyes. The one that he always has when he thinks I’m nearing rock bottom again. “Promise,” I reply and wink at him to reassure him I’m fine. “Can you go downstairs and make me some coffee, please?” He nods his head curtly and turns on his heel to leave my bedroom, so I can get ready and he can go make some coffee. Throwing my blankets off me, I turn on some music and start getting ready whilst jamming to all the tunes in my music library. It takes me about fifteen minutes until I’m dancing down to the kitchen where Uncle Mitch hands me a coffee and an already buttered toast. “I’m glad to see you dancing again,” he tells me with a smile before sipping from his own coffee. There’s a small smile tugging at his lips, showing his pride a little. “Have you been writing again too?” I shake my head in response. “I mean, I do have like a small verse and a chorus for a song, but I’m really stuck.” Mitch presses his lips together into a somewhat sympathetic smile. I shrug. “I’m sure it’ll come back at some point. Who knows where I’ll get some inspiration.” I finish my toast and coffee quickly, kiss Uncle Mitch on the cheek before grabbing my backpack and heading out the door to school where I meet up with Madison. “Hey Hot Mama!” her voice chimes through the hallway as I’m at my locker unpacking and packing books. “Hey, Chica!” I greet back. “How was work yesterday? Haven’t heard from you at all.” I close my locker, shoulder my backpack and follow her down the hall to our first class of today. “Locked up pretty late last night. Had some of the worst customers ever. First a Karen thinking she knew more about bass guitars than me. Then this dude that thought he was just so slick. It was disgusting. Such a douchebag.” “I sometimes wonder why you still work there,” she shakes her head disapprovingly. “Because I need to pay tuition for the college I want to go to, Mads. Not everyone can get a scholarship.” Madison has received a scholarship from her number one college she’d wanted to go to since she was ten. Mostly because her parents want her to go there, but it’s been planted in her brain ever since then and it hasn’t changed. Especially not when she’d received the message she was going to be able to go on a scholarship. “I know, Ems,” she rolls her eyes at me, knowing how lucky she is, “But I mean, you still could work somewhere else?” I halt in the middle of the hallway, causing another student who was walking behind me to bump into me. I mutter a sorry before turning back to Madison. “There’s nothing I’m better at or feel more at ease than between music instruments, Mads. You of all people should know that.” She tuts then nods her head in agreement. “I know, I know…” she links her arm with mine, “But still… You could have a different job if you wanted to.” She wiggles her eyebrows and I know exactly what she means. However, I don’t answer because as much as I know what she means, she knows my answer without me having to say anything. And that’s how we leave things before going to class. Madison is a sweetheart. We’ve known each other since Kindergarten and there’s no one else I’d rather spill all my secrets to or giggle uncontrollably with when Uncle Mitch says something weird or the Queen Bee, Brianna, says something incredibly dumb. She’s been my rock with Uncle Robert’s death, telling her mother to send me and Uncle Mitch food when we didn’t feel like cooking. She’s listened to my endless rants about Karens and douchebags at the shop, and my heart-wrecking cries when Jake broke up with me last year. Not only that, she believes I can do anything I set my mind to, especially become a successful singer-songwriter. Madison is the only person on this planet I truly need. Madison, Uncle Mitch and Uncle Robert, were he still alive. Nothing more, nothing less. With all of that running through my mind – along with the cute douchebag from the Music Store – I don’t even notice where I’m walking until I’m bumping right into someone. “Oof! Sorry! I—” When I look up, I realize I don’t even want to apologize. I’ve apologized to him more than once and for all the wrong reasons. “Jake.” My apologetic expression changes to a what I hope would be a scowl. Although, let’s be honest, when bumping into an ex-boyfriend you used to love with all your heart, your broken heart still does a little leap. “Emily, hey!” he greets and a smile shines through. I’m not going to lie, I kind of missed that smile. Who wouldn’t miss those perfect plump lips curling up into a perfect smile? Dammit, Emily Fox, focus. Remember this boy broke your heart into a thousand more pieces when it was already broken. “What do you want?” I ask bitterly. “Brianna and I are throwing a party at my place tonight, if you’d like to come…” he trails off at the end, scratching the back of his neck, knowing all-too-well I wouldn’t for any money of the world go to a party thrown by Brianna and Jake. I’d much rather die. “I have to work,” I tell him simply, which is not a lie. Ash asked to close tonight. “Oh, okay…” he trails off again. “Anything else?” I raise an eyebrow at him, hoping, praying, wishing, I can get out of this situation as soon as possible. He opens his mouth to say something, and I nearly want to punch it close, but I refrain from doing so, especially when he closes his mouth again. “No, I’m sorry for bothering you…” He looks more regretful than he did when he broke up with me. “Uhm… I’ll see you around, I guess.” “Yeah,” I simply say and watch him as he walks away from me. There’s nothing I hate more than seeing Jake in the hallway. It’s just another painful reminder of what we were and were not. Just another painful reminder of the worst year of my life thus far.

After school, Madison and I head to the Music Store together. She needs to pick up some groceries from the store on the other side of the street, so she figured she’d walk me to work. While she talks the entire walk there, I keep thinking about Jake, but mostly about the cute douchebag from yesterday, wondering if he’d come back today. He did seem persistent. “See you tomorrow, Ems,” Madison says, waving at me as I enter the store. “See ya, Mads!” I shout back before closing the door behind me, the bell ringing overhead. “Thanks so much for closing up today, Emily,” Ash says first thing when she sees me. “Oh, that’s no problem.” “Just finish up with the last couple of customers and then sweep and sort the cash register.” I nod my head, understanding every single one of my task at hand today. While customers roam around the store, I grab my textbook English and finish up the exercise we’d started making in class, but none of us finished. Someone’ll ask me if they need me or ring the bell obnoxiously if they want to pay. “Hey, could you help me out with something?” I look up from my book to find a tall blonde guy in front of me. His hair falls in swoops, framing his face nicely. The kindest eyes I ever did see. He looks a bit nervous too, which makes me wonder why. “Sure, what can I help you with?” I move from behind the counter as he leads me towards the drum section. “I’m looking for drumsticks, but I can’t seem to find them…” he tells me, fidgeting with his jacket. I stare at him for a moment and blink a couple of times. “Oh, you won’t find them here, sweetie. They’re over there!” I point to another side of the store. “I’ll show you,” I beckon him with my finger and, with him in tow, make my way over to where we keep our drumsticks and other accessories for the music instruments. “Here they are!” I point to the racks filled with different kind of drumsticks. The boy scans the area and then picks out a pair he likes best. “Thank you,” he says with the sweetest smile. “So, you’re a drummer,” I state more than ask as we both make our way back to the cash register. “Yep, I’m in a band with my two best friends. Sunset Curve, we’ve been playing bars in Los Angeles for a while now, but don’t seem to be too lucky to find some sort of manager that could help us out, you know?” I make a mental note to check out Sunset Curve, and simply nod my head while putting his purchase into the register. “19 bucks please,” I tell him with a smile. “I hope luck is on your side soon…” I trail off, realizing I don’t know his name. “Owen,” he says as if reading my mind. He hands me the nineteen bucks in cash. “Emily,” I introduce myself, “Hey, if you want, our Music Store holds open mic nights on Saturdays, once a  month or something, if you ever want to bring your band down here? Music execs scout out here sometimes too.” Owen’s smile widens, making my heart swell with happiness. “Thanks, I’ll remember that.” He taps the counter once, then says, “And thanks for helping me find these.” He holds the drumsticks up so I can see. “You’re very welcome. I’ll see you around, Owen.” “Yeah, see you around, Emily.” He’s definitely gay. But the sweetest guy that’s ever walked into the Music Store in forever. He was so nervous and fidgety; it was kind of endearing. What a kind soul. I hope he gets what he’s wishing for.

It finally starts to slow down in The Music store around half past six, just before closing time. So, I begin to sort out the sheet music that’s been scattered around by musicians. I’d almost even forgotten about Cute Douchebag until the bell over the door rings and he’s walked in. I look up with a smile at first, thinking it’ll be the last paying customer of the day, wanting to greet them. But when I see him with his cute-ass beanie and his adorable brown eyes and his sweet smile, the smile falters.

“Make it quick, I’m about to close up.” I turn around to head to where the sheets are supposed to go. It’s silent for a moment until I hear him cough behind me.

“Can you ring these up for me, please?” he asks, handing me a pack of guitar picks. A little confused about his sudden change of behavior, I nod my head slowly and put them into the cash register.

“11 dollars 96, please.” Our eyes meet for a second when he gives me the money, and a jolt rushes through my entire body. I’ve never seen eyes so vivid and full of color. Everyone always says brown eyes are boring. But his. His aren’t. His are near gold.

Focus, Emily.

“Hey, would you mind if I played here for a while? My parents are kind of being jerks and I kind of have to escape, if you know what I mean…” he trails off near the end, our eye contact breaking as he casts his gaze to the floor.

“Uhm, yeah, sure. Just stay out of my way as I clean up.” He shoots me a thankful smile before scooting over to the guitars and picking out his favorite to play on. I need a moment to regain my composure before I can actually begin cleaning up.

And that’s how the Cute Douchebag and I spent our evening together. With his sweet melody flowing throughout the store as I clean up and count the money in the register.

“You done yet?” I ask him once I’ve grabbed my backpack and the keys to lock up. The boy looks up at me again with those golden eyes of his, making my knees feel weak. Why does he have this effect on me? This doesn’t make any sense. He should repulse me by the way he acted the other day, not make me feel weak in the knees. Nothing makes sense anymore.

“Uhm, sure yeah.” He gets up and puts the guitar back in its place before walking over to the door with me. “My name’s Charlie, by the way,” he tells me when he turns once he’s outside on the street.

“I don’t care,” I lie.

“I’m pretty sure you do, Emily.” Him knowing my name catches me off guard for a moment and not even just because it’s creepy that he knows it, but because it weirdly sounds good rolling off his lips.

“What makes you so sure of that, Charles?” I notice his full name – if that’s his full name – catches him off guard too. “That’s what I thought. Now, please, leave, so I can have a pleasant rest of the night.” He raises his eyebrow, seeing right through me. I know it. He knows it. But he still turns and leaves with that obnoxious beautiful smirk of his.

I hate that he makes me feel this way.

Taglist: @parkeret​

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[depreshroom]

Analyzing Krel, episode 1.

The titles a work not-in-progress. So, for once in my life I’m actually doing something that I said I’d do. Look at that! Me watching over my son Krel! I promise I do NOT hate Coranda, Fialkov, or Aja lmao. Again, this is just stuff I noticed and wanted to point out. I’d like to think it makes sense, but then again...maybe it doesn’t. Under the cut because it’s probably long af.

To start off, Krel is a very complicated character in the sense that he’s not only different from literally everybody else, but in the way he expresses himself, his relationship with his parents and other things that I will hopefully later type out.

Beginning from episode 1, we start off with him y’know doing his little tech genius thing over there before his coronation and a few things did happen to stick out to me. 

For one, as his father comes in to discuss that Aja has left, Krel is in no way shocked, surprised or even the slightest bit of hurt that we know of. Instead he seems closer to the side of simply accepting of it. Even if he did seem a little exasperated. Yes, we do know that he receives this news constantly but then again, coronation was no ordinary day even before the coup. It was their SHARED coronation for goodness sake. Knowing Krel, that seems like it would be a bigger deal. He even knows the drill when his father comes to it.

“It’s fine she is a... free spirit.” Would definitely like to note that he says that “it’s fine, she is a..” automatically. He’s done this a million times before, it’s cool. But immediately after that he pauses for a split second, which leads me to assume that this is a moment where Krel is questioning one of two things. (Or even both.)

Either a) he’s trying to find a reason why it is fine, why on this day in particular it’s justified that he’s alone in this, in his life and future really, because it’s fine obviously or b) he’s questioning if her being a free spirit actually is fine. Why should he be alone simply because Aja is this “free spirit” huh? She can be both as Queen. 

But, nonetheless he goes through with what he was saying. After discussing this he continues on to have this conversation with his father:

“One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”

“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”

“Of course you’re not ready to be a king. No one ever is.”

“What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”

“If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”

I have so many thoughts about this Fialkov...oh my god.

Starting off with this, “One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”

FIRST OF ALL, what a terrible thing to bring up as a conversation starter. My baby boy just sitting there minding his business, a little bummed bout his sister but mostly alright, and this man just comes up and talks about how lonely he’ll be with Aja, his sister who is currently runniing away. Like, dang I imagine I wouldn’t feel too good after that either. Especially if that’s what hyping me up to become ruler of a planet is supposed to be. So, of course I wouldn’t think it’d be too unexpected when Krel asks about being king.

Krel, probably not reassured, goes on to say:“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”

What I find interesting about this is that Fialkov was discussing death, he was talking about Krel having nobody but his sister. Yet, what Krel asked in return was if he was ready, no--he said “what if i'm not”.  Generally, Krel isn’t portrayed as somebody with low confidence but that’s because he was in his element. What’s so important about the first episode in any show is that it gives us insight to who the character was beforehand. This isn’t the same Krel we see even later in this episode. Later in this exact episode, Krel was confident enough to fix an akiridion ship. A crashing ship. That was being shot at. Upside down. Being driven by Zadra. 

-Krel “‘why is Aja’s bounty higher than mine’ as he nearly goes unconscious from a punch to the nose by Steve” Tarron could hang upside down whilst fixing a crashing akiridion ship and be shot at at the same time. And that, my friend, was simply because he was in his element. However, when we look at him talking to his father about being king, all that pride seems as if it didn’t even exist, as if it was never there to begin with. 

I’ll get back to this a few times too as I go through the episodes. Actually here how about this, a dash (-) means something that will be referenced again.

Even worse as we move through this conversation is that Fialkov tells him that of course he isn’t ready. I-this sounds like he’s really trying to be helpful but also not adjusting the situation to his own son. It’s like hitting the wounded. Krel is already on edge, only to be told that he’s not ready because nobody is ever ready. May I ask, what is that information going to do for him? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

-Krel, once again, proving my assumption that he’s not reassured, rephrases it: “What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”

-That’s a vital question. While yes, throughout the show Krel shows his moment’s of confidence, once again, this is the part of Krel we started out with. The funny thing is that although it was in reference to becoming King, the part about King isn’t tacked onto the sentence. Without the context, this question is simply “what if I’m not good enough?” Why isn’t Krel asking specifically about King, even more fascinating, as we’ll later explore Krel seems to have a complicated relationship with his parents. And Krel isn’t talking to anybody but his father, he’s pleading for validation. And honestly he needs it because at this point, he’s alone.

And finally the last line: “If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”

Fialkov tells Krel that the small choices in life are what matters the most. He will not face these choices alone because he always has his family… I’m sorry but did he not JUST SAY that he and Coranda would die one day? And yes he says that he will even have his sister, but he JUST got done talking about how Aja is a free spirit which apparently means it’s justified for her to run away. Coranda even says at the beginning of episode 1 to a frustrated Fialkov: “You know your daughter, Aja’s spirited.” As if that makes her running away okay, she even says it in a sort-of smile. Most importantly: He didn’t tell Krel that he would and/or be good enough. He didn’t even reference Krel’s question really. Krel never heard those words, never even heard his Papa talk about it. Imagine how this fifteen year old boy, nervous as hell sitting here apparently alone feels when he asks his father “what if he isn’t good enough?” and that question is ignored completely in favor of talking about how it’s alright because he has his family. -That is something that is often shown to hurt Krel, not being recognized but being overlooked for his sister, and in some ways not being good enough. That’s something that affects Krel a lot, and is shown to be something that makes him incredibly upset but happens multiple times. Fialkov avoided the question entirely giving off the impression that Krel is indeed, not good enough.

All together, in that conversation, there’s a pattern here. Fialkov is consistently bringing up the negatives of Krel’s situation. Soon, he’s going to be left with his sister who’s always running away because his parents will one day die which leaves him in charge of everything and he is already at a point where he doesn’t even know if he’s good enough. On top of that, he has to focus on the small moments now because those are the most important apparently. -Not to mention, his father never did tell Krel that he was good enough.

-Immediately after this Krel finishes his invention and exclaims “I did it!” That’s the first time he sounds genuinely excited and surprised. It was something he made by himself and was obviously very proud of despite the fact that he’s a tech extraordinaire. This supposedly comes easy to him, but yet there’s still a shock factor---even if it is small---that he managed it. As if yes, he was trying but he didn’t think actually could do it.

We also see Zadra arrive to tell them that it’s time to go. Krel says that Fialkov should “speak for himself” when saying they’re ready. (Good to see he’s still a smartass.) That’s only before telling himself  “Fine. I’m ready.”, then sees the audience and immediately goes “I guess.” Once again, an act of nervousness and second guessing the entire being “King” thing.

One thing I find incredibly fun to think about is the fact that Krel’s parents insist he smiles and waves no matter what. Walk out to claim your fate for the rest of your hundreds of years? Smile and Wave. Be ripped limb from limb by Vex? Smile and wave. One could assume that’s part of his tendency to bottle up his emotions, especially since he’s portrayed as the child that tries harder for his parents. One could also assume that this is how it is for him normally, this sentence is no different than “you know your daughter, Aja’s spirited” because that’s really what he has to do all the time. Aja gets to run away and he doesn’t, he just has to suck it up and deal with it. 

Side note: I love how an entire coup happens so Aja asks Krel if he’s scared and he says “I am now the King-In-Waiting, I am terrified.” I do realize that he says he won’t be scared as long as he has Aja in episode two but, you’re telling me, after everything that just went down, Krel is terrified because he’s the king-in-waiting? The throne was just fucking usurped Krel! Oh my god, I love my baby boy who has no brain cells.

By now, we’ve seen the first impression of Fialkov and Krel’s relationship which I wouldn’t say is exactly good, but later in the episode Aja has a flashback to when she runs away past curfew and her mother gives her some insight. This is how that conversation goes:

-“Royals don’t need to skulk under the cover of darkness.” (This. This is incredibly important, but I’m not going to touch on that until the last episode unfortunately.)

“They do when they don’t want to be caught staying up past curfew. I can’t be what you want me to be, I can’t be a royal.”

“No one gets to choose their station in life Aja.”

“Maybe I’ll be the first.”

“There are those that would trade their life cores for royalty.”

“And I would trade my royalty for a life. A normal life.”

“You’re remarkable Aja.”

“You say that because you are my mother.”

“Royal or not, you are extraordinary, that is what you are constantly running away from. You could leave this palace, fly far away from our world...and your destiny would follow you.”

First of all just glancing at this, what a difference between Krel and Fialkov. Coranda immediately tells Aja that she is amazing as soon as she says she would want a normal life. She goes on about how amazing Aja is, which is great because she is, but that versus Fialkov not even saying anything about whether Krel is good enough or not is a BIG difference. It’s almost like, Krel is the less favored child right out of the gate. No? Maybe? That’s definitely important and we’ll get to that later? Cool.

Final remarkable thing about episode one.

So we are nearing the end, and after the coup has happened, and their parents are now in stasis after just being shot, Aja is extremely upset which is of course valid. I hope she wouldn’t be happy after that. As Krel comforts her, and she blames herself, it takes him less time than it takes for me to register what just happened before he immediately instead blames himself too as a counter argument.

“And it would have ended sooner if I had done better in the duel, if anything we’re both to blame” The sad thing is, nobody ever told them they aren’t to blame because Mama and Papa were reunited with them, but decided to instead fight for akiridion-5 where they then retreated to their cores. 

In conclusion, the Krel we see in the first episode is nothing like the impression he could give off throughout the rest of the series. When we start off, Krel is actually just nervous and under-confident as well as asking for validation from his father. Aja also appears to be favored over him. You can’t tell me that Fialkov completely avoiding Krel’s question about being good enough was a mistake when he went on this entire rant about making choices even with his sister. All he had to muster up was a simple “I believe in you” or “you will be a great king.” or even something along the lines of “yeah, you’ll be decent.” However, he avoided the question by saying something else entirely. This, and combined with the fact that Aja was immediately told how great she is the second there was any mention of not wanting the life she has is mostly what led me to believe that. And as I said before, what makes this episode so important is that this is the first episode that gives us an insight into who Krel was BEFORE everything happened. This is Krel Tarron, the King-in-Waiting who is forced to follow this life path, nervous, and under-confident, and I’d argue timid. (Timid sounds like such a weird word to label him as but that is how he acted.) This isn’t the Krel Tarron we see who would slide down a bounty hunter’s back just for the thrill of it or who made a daxial array out of nothing or even the Krel Tarron who went joyriding on the solar system in the planetarium. Obviously at the time, something was very different or off.

I did it, part one, it has no real conclusion despite what I said, it’s basically just thoughts since it’s only the beginning. If you read it, thank youuuu!!